#implied tobidei?

[yowyowyaoi]

*Itachi bandaging up Kisame after returning from a battle*

Kisame: We’re lucky it didn’t start raining until after we got back here, aren’t we?

Itachi: Mm.

Kisame: And it’s a good thing we still have bread left in our packs from earlier … as usual there’s not a scrap of food in this place.

Itachi: Mm. *wraps the last bandaid in place* Done.

Kisame: … Itachi? Are you angry with me?

Itachi, cleaning up the first aid supplies: It’s not worth discussing. You lost a lot of blood. Perhaps you should go rest for a bit.

*he starts to walk away, but Kisame reaches out and grabs his arm*

Kisame, softly: ‘Tachi …

Itachi: Kisame. Don’t. What you did today was exceedingly foolish. I would have thought that the fact that you’re older than I am would have prevented you from trying to take on three opponents by yourself. *starts to walk away again*

 Kisame, softly: I won, didn’t I?

Itachi, whirling back around: You call this a win?! We just barely made it out of there! Go look in the mirror, look at how bruised and banged-up you are, and tell me that this is a win!!

Kisame: Your sharingan was exhausted! YOU were exhausted! What was I supposed to do?!

Itachi: LEAVE ME THERE!! Leave me to die and get yourself to safety!

Kisame: You and I both know that such a thing isn’t an option, Itachi. How could you even suggest such a thing?

Itachi: Do you have no sense of self-preservation?

Kisame: I do. I know that I wouldn’t want to go on if you weren’t here with me. I wouldn’t survive. Therefore just leaving you is an absurd proposition.

Itachi: You think too much of me …

Kisame: *wraps his arms around Itachi’s waist* I love you, idiot. Now say you love me back so we can make up.

Itachi, grinning: What if I don’t want to say it, mm?

Kisame: *growls low in his throat* Are you challenging me?

Kisame: *lifts Itachi up and positions him against the wall, aggressively kissing down his neck* Guess I’ll have to torment you to get what I want, brat …

Itachi, barely holding back a moan: D-do your w-worst …

*Hidan walks into the room*

Hidan: Okay, fuck you both. I’ve been listening to your “fight” for twenty minutes, waiting for something good to happen … and you’re about to do it instead?! Where’s the drama?? Where’s the anger? Where’s the yelling and the smashing and breaking?! 

Hidan: Fuckin’ pussies, can’t even have a goddamn decent brawl!

Deidara, from his room: Right?! That was the most boring shit I ever heard, hm! That made me want to punch the wall! 

*a loud crunch is heard*

Deidara: Tobi, what the hell?!

Tobi, howling: Y-you said you wanted the wall punched!

Deidara: IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU MORON!! Who’s going to fix that hole?!

Tobi, in Obito voice: FUCK THAT, WHO’S GOING TO FIX MY HAND?!

Hidan: Finally, some decent action! Later, losers! *runs to Deidara’s room*

Itachi and Kisame: 

Kisame: … you still in the mood?

Itachi:

Itachi: … shamefully, yes.

[campcarmenstuck]

Deidara: You show every sign of an abuser and I don't give a shit. You're the kind of man who'd choke me goodnight. The kind of man who'd walk in on me cutting and take the razor blade and do it for me. I don't want a guy to marry. I want a boyfriend who helps me plan my own suicide.

Deidara: You're that man, Obito. And I need you bad.

Obito: Bitch you need therapy!

[jinxofthecipher]

All Akatsuki headcanon/scenes in somewhat order (updated 3/30/22 newest ones are labeled for convenience):

Headcanon: featuring implied SasoDei/DeiSaso

Scene: featuring implied TobiDei/ObiDei & implied KakuHida/HidaKaku 

Headcanon: featuring implied TobiDei/ObiDei 

Scene: featuring . . .implied? TobiDei/ObiDei

Scene: featuring implied KakuHida/HidaKaku & lightly implied KisaIta/ItaKisa

Headcanon/Scene: featuring implied KakuHida/HidaKaku

Headcanon: featuring ‘implied’ KakuHida/HidaKaku

Scene: featuring ‘implied’ KakuHida/HidaKaku

Scene: featuring ‘iMpLiEd’ KakuHida/HidaKaku

Scene: featuring ‘iMpLiEd’ KakuHida/HidaKaku

Scene: featuring Itachi Uchiha, and blink-you-miss-it Tobi

Scene: featuring ‘implied’ KisaIta/ItaKisa

Headcanon: featuring implied KisaIta/ItaKisa (in the middle of the previous scene)

Headcanon: featuring KisaIta/ItaKisa (in the middle of the previous scene)

Headcanon: featuring KisaIta/ItaKisa (somewhere past middle of previous scene)

Headcanon/Scene: featuring ‘iMpLiEd’ TobiDei/DeiObi & ‘iMpLiEd’ KakuHida/HidaKaku

Scene: featuring KisaIta/ItaKisa & ‘iMpLiEd’ (?) TobiDei/DeiObi

Scene: featuring ‘iMpLiEd’ KakuHida/HidaKaku & KisaIta/ItaKisa

Scene: featuring “.i.m.p.l.i.e.d.” KakuHida/HidaKaku 

Scene: newest featuring . . .implied? KakuHida/HidaKaku

Scene: featuring KisaIta/ItaKisa & TobiDei/DeiObi & slight KakuHida/HidaKaku

Scene: featuring TobiDei/DeiObi

I have also started an official series of one-shots (and possibly multi-chapter stories) that take each snippet on here and extend them into a full on fic. So far there is only one; they will be added on here whenever there is an update:

newest: Alea iacta est (The die is cast), featuring implied SasoDei.

[ubeetlebum]

Thanks for the trust 🎶 and to be honest I have the same problem as you 😔 when it comes to characterization, especially when Deidara is portrayed as stereotypical "uke".

About starts at the tip of your tongue, I've seen it, but if I remember correctly, in the tags it implies that Deidara gets r**** by some akatsuki guys which really really triggers me no matter if it's just mentioned. But two Tobidei weeks ago I read a one shot by nebula which was nice and enjoyable.

Time to eat

Have you ever read the fic stars on the tip of your tongue, it's an obidei fic and I love it, sadly the author didn't finish it and there are like four chapters left, I'm just wondering if you've ever read it or heard about it.

I have heard of it - or more so I’ve seen it on AO3. I didn’t read it and, unfortunately, I don’t really plan to. I don’t really read any T/ObiDei fics because I have such a specific characterization of them and their relationship that I can’t really handle reading other people’s interpretations of them. The only exception I make is for ubeetlebum/SweetAlphaChild.

[peleth]

hmmmm alright im gonna try and give my opinions on tlj, i’m very tired tho and sore because i had the front row corner seat in a huge theater and everything looked skewed but hey, at least i managed to snag a seat instead of waiting two weeks to see it

first of all, whose god awful idea was it to not have jj abrams direct the last jedi? no matter how much the dude sucks irl i’m...ya messed up buddy. ya really did it this time

thoughts, kylo thoughts, bc lets be real i’m a kylo bitch forever, however much i may regret it rn

ugh ok my htoughts are really fucking jumpy rn this is gonna be a messy post. i’m....disappointed. with kylo’s end actions, BUT i’m hoping jj abrams will save it. gather up the pieces and glue them back together

i’m not necessarily a fan of full redemption. that’s not an option anymore, it could have been, but then what would the third movie be lol. it would be stupid to think kylo would have been turned like that, so easily, like “oh woops spent the last decade being a bitch but now that this hot girl is here i regret it all, time to go back to mommy”

i don’t think jj abrams (and im saying this to reassure myself lol) will treat kylo as some laughable villain to be defeated. there is a balance between rey and kylo, and it’s not gone. i’m a fan of the “they both go grey” theory, but idk with what rian johnson did it seemed to imply the jedi weren’t done for, cuz rey, or whatever, its boring, i hate that shit, ya done fucked up rian, ughhukj,jhjmgjh;

what ppl (anti kylo folks) are gonna interpret this as is like, oh rey rejected kylo, time to throw a tantrum, stupid ugly emo kid wahwahwah abuse wahwah fiction is real life whatever but tbh no matter how bad this director fucked it up kylo is still a conflicted character that goes deeper than rebelling against parents because he idolizes darth vader or whatever ants think happened

i’m hoping that in the last film, rey and leia (if they keep her alive, which im not sure how that would go, rest in peace carrie fisher) would be catalysts to kylo’s downfall and not REDEMPTION but separation from the complete darkness. it’s boring and cliche to make rey and kylo light and darkness. it would be much more interesting to have them both conflicted. rey, tempted by the dark, kylo, pulled by the light. their dynamic can be SO good if jj abrams pulls this the right way

also i’m not into reylo, just mostly because 1) het 2) i’m indifferent to rey, tbh, but *film student voice* THE SYMBOLISM

anyways enough about that and onto darkpilot, cuz that’s the second thing i care about most and im too tired to stress myself out about this

fuck

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

like oobbbvviooousssllyy it’s not REALISTIC (its just not realistic echoes in my mind) for it to be canon that poe and kylo knew each other before ben’s fall BUT thank god they haven’t filled in the gaps, because gaps mean interpretation, and interpretation means FANFICTIIIOOONNNNNNN

i dont want this ship to be like, idk, my big otp back when i was a wee weeaboo was tobidei and because of the constant “is he obito or madara” debate and the final reveal of who tobi was and the absolute shittiness of his story i couldnt ship tobidei anymore it just. was bad

and if they do kylo like that, like, make him a pissbaby who gets killed as a villain with no more conflict or whatever angst, that’s dumb and i’m not here for it

darkpilot for me was mostly just dubcon childhood lover angst anyway so who cares, kylo will only be redeemed in fic and poe and kylo will only have known each other in fic, soyeaaaa

basically i liked the film but i have qualms with how they did it and my i’m too tired to genuinely criticize it, lol

[yowyowyaoi]

Tobi’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Sasori

What exactly do you expect me to say to that?

Donuts outside your door. Peace offering.

I’m sure it’s just as scared of you as you are of it.

No it’s three. THREE leaves are bad.

I’ll have Deidara give it to you but from now on if you idiots choose to keep going out without sunscreen I’m no longer treating the burn.

I noticed. But we all have secrets. That one is yours.

I’ve long forgotten the taste of food but if you think you can do a better job than Konan, by all means tell her. I’m sure she’ll take it well.

From Zetsu

What would he even be to you? Uncle? Grandpa? Great-grandpa? 

Patience, sunshine and a lottttttt of sugar.

He wouldn’t be very pleased that you’re letting one immature blonde ruin your focus this way …

No I HAD to eat him. His screaming would have attracted the enemy.

Your eyes look atrocious have you been using the drops??

Don’t kill it until I get there! They make great snacks 😋

I get that but sleep is important too kid.

Pls tell me you’re not the one who ate it all. Please. Please.

From Hidan

I mean maybe if you had a bigger dick but I’m not even sure the puppet has one at all so idk man 🤷‍♂️

Geez I wasn’t that drunk was I? 

You’ve got some balls on you bastard but fuck yes I’m in!! 😈 Funniest shit ever.

So get out of bed and come hang out. Just laying there all day ain’t helping shit.

It’s rated R but only for the sex shit. Don’t worry I know what a little bitch you are about scary movies 🙄

You snitch on me and tomorrow you wake up with your severed hand shoved up your ass 😇

Stop being such a stingy mf you don’t even like ribs asshole!

Not as weird as you think. He’s very flexible for a geezer 

No you’d be perfect for it. Nobody could read your face bc of that fucking mask!

Don’t let Konan see she’d kill both of us and then dig us up to fuck us up again 😓

From Kisame

Itachi insists I ask you to join us, so please come.

There isn’t one in your closet and even if there was, why would you send ME after it?!

God are you and Itachi related or something?! I can’t get either one of you to stop with the damn sweets!

PLEASE stop jumping on the bed I gotta get up in 3 hours I need SLEEP 😡

Stop asking me 1000 questions every time you watch the Discovery Channel 😑

From Nagato

I’m tired of speaking to you three about the same damn issues every single week. You are all grown men and I should not have to babysit you.

If I’m getting complaints from people OUTSIDE of this group? Then, yes, it is a problem.

Do as you see fit but remember your missions take precedence above all.

I’d advise you to keep in mind that he’s only 19 years old, and he already has that hair-trigger temper.

At least on this one point we can agree: white-haired “mentors” are the worst. 

What makes you think Sasori would make a good Pein-body for me? 

From Kakuzu 

You realize every cloak you tear up I’M the one hand sewing the replacement??

You Deidara Hidan all need to clean your rooms you’re making the house smell like a public toilet 😡

Only if YOU want to be the one to go out and catch the bounty to afford that.

I would suggest you stay focused on your missions. This is a serious organization, not a highschool.

I doubt that. I’m rarely surprised, brat.

Be a lot easier to treat it if you took that damn mask off and let me SEE it, kid.

Not complaining about the money but … how did you get it so fast 🤨

Konan says it was you, you say it was Itachi. Wonder what Itachi’s going to tell me.

No. And anyway you’re old enough to know that “love potions” aren’t real.

From Konan

Dinner’s ready!

You know that’s a completely inappropriate question to ask a woman, right?

Come see me later I’ll use the good shampoo and then give you a trim 😊

The other things I don’t mind but everyone is responsible for their own underwear.

Just go play with the one that Itachi absolutely does not have in his room.

Okay but FIVE SEPARATE PEOPLE came to me and told me they saw you playing with it right before it “mysteriously broke”. 😒

Not saying the muscles are impressive. But. 🫣

From Itachi

I’ve found that massaging the lids for half an hour and then resting with a cold cloth over them really helps.

I saw. I couldn’t believe how tall he’s gotten 😢

I’ll let you read it when I’m done. It helps with a lot of the overwhelming feelings.

I’m not scared at all. I just don’t want Kisame to be around to see it happen.

Honestly? I don’t trust that old man and I don’t think you should either, cousin.

A few bad teeth is probably the least of my health concerns, ha ha 🙃

Come walk with me. Give you a chance to breathe for a while.

Yeah but the thing about dreams is at some point, you’ve got to wake up. 

We’re both young and strong. Together with Sasuke we could do it. And be free.

Are you kidding? That movie would have BOTH of them pissing their pants. 🤣

No matter what he’s just going to find an excuse to fine you for it and take it out of your pay.

Ugh I tried but the way he eats everything super rare? And then licks the blood off the plate?? 🤢

From Deidara

Well you know he’s immortal so, never.

A big box of dangos and like half a cherry pie. You can have it but do NOT let me catch you eating everything at once.

We leave in 20 min. Don’t forget your pack this time.

No Kakuzu thinks Hidan did it and I’m not gonna correct him, and NEITHER ARE YOU.

That’s … pretty gay, ngl

Socks first, then shoes. Not sock shoe sock shoe. If there was a fire you’d be running out with one foot naked. Who tf raised you?!

Yeah I made it for you. I know you like turtles. And no it doesn’t explode.

I dare you to say that to him

Heyyyy you got $30 I can borrow 😅

No really DID you hide my clay?!

Me, Hidan and Uchiha. You’re coming too.

The way one loves a *friend*, yes

Did the salmon give you the shits too?? God my asshole feels like it’s melting 😫

[yowyowyaoi]

Hidan’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Deidara:

Fuck you

Where’s the money you owe me

I KNOW it was you asshole

At least mine isn’t 91!

Pizza or Chinese?

No bc if you killed him Leader would just blame ME.

Help me prank Itachi and I’ll give you half my next check 

Scared of a little gengetsu? Pussy

Go smell Tobi’s hair then ask me who took your damn cheap-ass shampoo 

Why would you eat it it HAD MY NAME ON THE LABEL bastard!

Ok but can ya’ll go to HIS room once in a while?? I don’t need to be kept up all night!!

From Kisame

Do that to Itachi again and I’ll eviscerate you and floss with your intestines.

That Jashin voodoo crap doesn’t scare me kid

Why the hell would you eat that?! You don’t even LIKE tuna!!

You better hope you can outrun Deidara then 

I think you meant that for Kakuzu. GOD I hope you meant that for Kakuzu.

From Zetsu

You left that guy outside can I eat him?

Are you done with that body yet?

Believe it or not fear actually seasons the meat 

Weird question but can I lick your scythe before you clean it 👀

From Konan

Lol pretty sure his are bigger than mine kid

He’s not that old he just looks like that 

Leftover ribs in fridge for you 

Pls stop harassing him. He blows up my phone for hours complaining about you 😒

Get back down here and clean all this blood you trailed in! I JUST cleaned the floor!! 😤

Dinner. Last warning.

Me and Deidara going to get manicures, you in?

You think I can’t knock you out just because you’re taller? Challenge accepted.

From Sasori

I’m not a pervert he’s 19 he’s an ADULT.

Best friend? Since when??

That medicine won’t take effect if you don’t LAY DOWN and GO TO SLEEP, brat.

For as fascinated as you seem to be with my anatomy you’d think YOU were the one sleeping with me, not Dei 🧐

If Kakuzu already said no then NO.

Next time I’m stitching that mouth shut so we can all get some peace and quiet.

Yes but I can make mine any size I want at any time. You’re stuck with what you’ve got. 

From Nagato

Because I said so.

Yes, really.

Be thankful that’s the ONLY punishment you received.

What she and I do is none of your concern, brat.

I’m sorry but you know Kakuzu has the final say in all financial matters.

You either apologize or I’m going to let Zetsu eat you.

Because you two cause too much trouble when we let you take missions together.

From Itachi

I’m not falling for that one again.

Never. Never in a thousand lifetimes.

Because it’s unsanitary!!

I know you took it I saw you wearing it yesterday.

Why were you even listening anyway? Pervert.

Only if Tobi comes too, I don’t trust the two of you alone.

Literally a few greens won’t kill you.

Yes you did know that!! I told everyone on the VERY FIRST DAY how allergic I am to that! 😡

Either finish your ritual or take that guy somewhere else I can’t sleep with all the screaming.

From Tobi

Of course not! We’re just friends! 

Wait do you think I might have a shot with him?! 👀

Idk I left after I saw Zetsu chewing on the guy’s foot

Is there a way to take back a picture after you send it before the other person looks at it? 

Want some cake? Want to eat myself but Konan says to share or I’m gonna die 😅

From Kakuzu

How much is it?

Did you use the coupons I gave you?

That shit is coming out of your paycheck brat

Sorry. Next time I won’t make them so tight.

Because I don’t have the patience and you’re not responsible enough.

I stg if you bring one more lawsuit against this organization 😡

My room. Now. 

Everybody gets the exact same. If you waste yours that’s your own fault.

Make me ask again and I’ll come get you and throw you over my shoulder

This is getting ridiculous how many times am I gonna have to sew it back on?!

Come see me tonight I’ll take care of it.

It was you and Deidara. I KNOW it was you and Deidara.

Maybe if you’re a good boy.

[jesseevelann]

Doing ya boy Sasori dirty once again.

Hah.