#and to think I almost fell asleep just now

[mattsturnioloz]

Then I lost you: Pt 5. (last pt.)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

Summary: Matt's career as a youtuber takes a toll on his 4 year relationship with his girlfriend, putting it on hold. Will it ever be the same again?

Warnings: angst, unresolved angst, crying, fluff!!

Pairings: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

A/N: (This is gonna be the last part, it’s gonna be sad but hope you guys will love it 🫶🏼 Also I fell asleep in the middle of writing this so forgive me if it’s not my best😖 I recommend listening to the song while reading 😚)

(Also since this part is really long I recommend just replaying the song over and over until the end of the story :) if you wanna cry☠️)

Matt’s Pov:

I drive back back home, The car silent and the negative thoughts come to my head but I quickly drown them out by playing music.

I get home and open the front door, and I go up the stairs to the living room and see Chris and Nick both laying on the couch watching some netflix show and I lay in between them, putting my head on Nicks shoulder. Somewhat needing to feel my brothers comfort.

“Are you okay?” he speaks up looking at me on his shoulder. I shake my head while staring at the tv and picking at my nails. He puts his arm around my shoulders and rests his head against mine and Chris rubs his hand up and down, on my partly exposed back and they exchange sympathetic glances at eachother.

Nick and Chris fall asleep during the show and I get bored, closely listening to the analog clock that we have above the couch, ticking, and the soft snores of Chris and Nick filling my ears.

I decide to get up and clean up around the house, doing basic chores until later in the day when it’s time to get ready. I shower quickly so that I don’t have time to think about the negatives. I grab the towel and dry myself off before going to my room.I go to my closet. The side where y/n’s clothes used to be is empty and the sight hurts. The hangers just.. hanging.

I knock out of it and I change into a plain light grey, almost white hoodie, and light blue baggy jeans with a pair of white air forces. Something casual but nice.

I’m nervous, like I was before picking her up for our first date, 5 years ago. I know where im taking her already and I can’t wait, but it’s going to bring back memories and i’m not sure that it’s a good thing right now.

I put on my Vivienne Westwood earrings and necklace to match before fixing up my hair. I hook my keys on the belt loop of my jeans and I spray cologne and deodorant before turning off my room light and heading out closing the door behind me.

I would say bye to Nick and Chris but they’re passed out on the couch so I go down to the stairs to the front door, leaving and locking the door after I walk out. I walk over to my car, getting in and I can feel my heart beating out of my chest.

I stop by a flower shop and I grab a bouquet of plumeria flowers, her favorite. The same ones I got her on our first date with all sorts of pretty colors that all go well together. They’re beautiful and vibrant, just like her.

I pay for them before I go back out my car and I get in buckling my seatbelt and I take a deep breath before I start the car and I start driving to Y/n’s house. Y/n’s house.

I break down in sobs, letting my cries out before I get to her place. I feel like I can’t breathe, gripping the wheel so tight, that my palms start to turn white.

I get there and park before putting the mirror down and making sure I look okay. I get out taking a deep breath, taking in the warm Los angeles sunset. I go over to her front door and let my fist hover over the door for a moment, my palms sweaty and I wipe them before I knock.

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ———-

Y/n’s Pov:

I’m changing into a nice simple white dress, when I hear a knock on the door. Shit. I hope I look okay. I dust my dress off in the mirror while also checking if my makeup looks alright before grabbing my purse and turning off the lights. I go to the front door and open it to see Matt standing there. He looks so good.

“Hey baby..” He says with a warm smile. He looks nervous, exactly like he did on our first date. It’s radiating off of him and I feel my palms start to sweat. I see tear stains on his cheeks but i’d rather not bring it up and ruin the mood.. Instead I wrap arms around him and hug him.

I can feel my body shaking, I don’t wanna lose him. Why are we even trying? What was the point of splitting up if we were just going to act like a couple? Technically today, we still are one.

We finally let go of what will be one of our last hugs. My heart is still aching to the point where it’s starts to hurt physically. “Youre so beautiful.. you always have been..” He says in the sweetest, most gentle tone. He grabs me the waist pulling me closer, while looking me up and down in awe.

“Thank you baby..” I reply, smiling and I press a kiss to his lips. “You ready to go?” He asks. His tone almost sad. But I nod and smile in response.

This is what I was still holding on to. Moments like these. Moments like last night, and this morning. I love him. So much. I wish he would just tell me that he takes it all back. That he wants to be with me. That he wants to try again.

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ———-

Matt’s Pov:

I grab her hand after she locks her door and I lead her to my car, opening the door for her. She kisses me on the way in before smiling at me. Her smile makes my heart flutter. She’s so beautiful. Everything about her is just so beautiful.

I kiss her again before shutting the door and making my way around the car and into the drivers seat. We buckle ourselves in before I start the car. The sun still setting by the minute.

I roll the windows down, the air warm and fresh, and Y/n plays music, singing along with it, and I can’t help but smile and steal a few glances at her. We stop at a red light and I reach in the backseat. She looks at me, confused and I grab the plumeria flowers, handing them to her.

She freezes and she looks up at me almost in shock. She knows. I can tell that she wants to cry but she doesn’t. She flashes me a big smile. “Thank you so much baby, I love them!” She says with the biggest smile before smelling them. “Of course, i’m glad you like them..” I say reaching over and putting my hand on her thigh, caressing it gently before just letting my thumb glide side to side.

I’m devastated that i’m losing all of this. I can’t believe I treated her the way I did. I wish I could take back everything i’ve said to hurt her. Maybe this wouldn’t be happening. If i would’ve just treated her right and gave her the love and attention that she deserves. I let my career get in the way of our relationship. Our love.

“I’m glad we’re doing this.” I say, glancing at her. “Me too, Matt. I’m really glad.” She responds. “I’m sorry.” I say, my voice cracking. Dammit, why do I keep crying. She turns her head too quick to look at me. “I’m sorry for all the things I did and said to push you away. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you better.” I swallow the lump in my throat. She takes my hand that’s still on her thigh and she kisses it.

“It’s okay Matt.. like you said, it’s for the best.. It just wasn’t working for either of us…” I nod and I want to tell her that I take it back, but I can’t. I know I can’t.

“Now let’s talk about something else to get your mind off of it yea?” she says smiling at me. How can she smile? How can she keep her composure when she’s probably more hurt than I am. I’m the one who said it won’t work. But I nod again. We talk about some more random things like our careers and future projects we might have planned and want to do.

We arrive at the restaurant and she looks at me with her jaw dropped while smiling. The same restaurant that I brought her to on our first date. “Ravioli?” She asks with a shriek, her voice crackling when she does. “Ravioli.” I nod chuckling her reaction.

I kiss her hand before unbuckling my seatbelt and I get out, making my way to the passenger side and opening the door for her, grabbing her hand to help her out. “I swear, you’re so beautiful baby.” I say closing the door before wrapping my arms around her waist pulling her closer and I kiss her.

“I could look at you for the rest of my life, and never get tired..”I mumble, against her lips before moving my kisses down to her jaw, then to her neck. She giggles at the feeling, making my heart flutter at the sound of her laugh.

I leave a small subtle hickey before pulling away and kissing her lips one more time and I grab her hand. “Let’s go.” I say, locking the car as I lead her towards the restaurant.

We go inside and I request the same table we had on the first date and thankfully, it was available. We get seated and handed our menus but we don’t bother to look inside because we both know we’re getting ravioli.

“I love that we’re recreating our first date.” She says, reaching across the table to hold my hand. “I thought you might. It feels like our first date all over again.” I smile, planting a gentle kiss against her knuckles.

The waitress comes over and we order, and not long after we get our food. We talk, eat and laugh about old times for hours, and eventually we’re the last people at the restaurant, the night coming to an end.

I pay the bill and we go quiet. Neither of us wanting the night to end. We stand up and I grab her hand leading her out the restaurant and I walk over to the trunk grabbing a blanket. “We’re going to the park too?” She smiles looking back towards the park next to the restaurant and I nod smiling.

“Gotta recreate our first date for our last.” I say placing a kiss on her temple. I lead her towards the park, the only lights being the dim street lights. I lead her to the grass, placing the blanket down and I kneel, helping her down before we both lay, looking up at the stars with her head and hand resting on my chest.

This feels right. The coldness of the night breeze making me feel peace. The mix of the stars and the streetlights, highlighting her features perfectly.

Hours pass. We talk while stargazing and eventually it’s 2 am. “I don’t want this night to end..” She’s says quietly. “Me neither baby..” I say, holding her closer.

Eventually we get up and she start to shiver so I wrap the blanket around her and hold her for a little before we stroll down the park back to my car.

I open the passenger door and let her inside before shutting the door while taking a deep breath and walking over to my side. I get in and it’s quiet. I glance at her and I can see her devastation.

I start the car and start driving towards her house. I put my hand on her thigh again, caressing it, and she grabs my hand intertwining her fingers with mine. The whole ride there silent.

When we arrive, I look over at her and she’s already looking at me with tears rolling down her cheeks at a rapid pace and she breaks down into sobs, her breath pace increasing.

To no surprise I start crying too. I get out of the car running to her side, opening the door and practically yanking her out, into a hug. Her sobs are killing me. “Listen to me Y/n.” I say lifting her head from my chest, cupping her cheeks, and wiping her tears with my thumbs.

“I’ll always be here for you, i’ll always love you so much, you’re the love of my life. No matter what, it’s always gonna be you baby.” I cry softly, pulling her head back to my chest. Her cries die down and all I hear is her occasional sniffling. “I love you, Matt..” she hiccups. “I love you too y/n.. more than life itself. I always will. Always and forever..” I say mumbling into her hair.

She pulls back and kisses me, and we make out slowly and passionately, taking our time, tears mixed in between. I give her one more soft loving kiss but eventually we part and my heart shatters into so many pieces to the point where i’m not sure that there even is one.

We let go of eachother and she makes her way towards her door and when she reaches it she looks back at me one more time. “I love you.” She says, with a teary smile. “I love you more.” I say smiling back, my own tears rolling down my face.

She watches me a little longer before turning around and unlocking her door, disappearing inside after she closes it. I take in the bittersweet moment. The love of my life is officially gone.

I take deep breaths as I walk to my door and I get in, starting the car and immediately driving away, because if I didn’t, I would be banging on her door begging her to stay with me.

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ———-

Y/n’s Pov:

I feel my heart break the more that I watch his car fade into the distance through my window and after i can’t see it anymore, I walk over to my couch and plopping on it. The silence too silent, like im drowning in it.

I look at the promise ring on my finger that he gave me long ago when we hit our 2 year anniversary. Taking in the memories that came with it. Remembering every detail of that beautiful night.

I stare at the boxes of my things that are still packed and I look around, taking in the emptiness and loneliness of my new home. 5 years with the love of my life… gone.. and I miss him already.. I miss him so much and all of our memories come flooding back. But then I realize that this was goodbye.

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ———-

Matt’s Pov:

As I drive further away from y/n’s house, a part of me is gone and feels like it’s been taken, but I know this was my doing. It’s all my fault. I need somewhere to go. To feel at peace. But then it hits me. The beach.

I drive to the beach, trying to drown out the painful after thoughts of losing y/n and the aching in my chest. My vision becomes blurry when soft tears fill my eyes.

I play music to try and drown out the images. The images of her smiling at me. The sound of her laughter. The sound of her crying. But it’s all too much and it doesn’t help that white ferrari by frank ocean starts playing.

When I get to the beach I park and pause. As if time stopped and I take in the sight, the memories flooding back all at once.

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ———-

Flashback:

“Where are you taking me?” Y/n giggles, as my hands are covering her eyes. “Be patient my love, you’ll see..” I say placing a kiss on her temple. I lead her to the spot at the beach and I uncover her eyes.

A whole picnic set up for us with blankets, pillows, her favorite snacks and board games. “Oh my god..” She says looking back at me with her jaw dropped and she jumps into my arms and I catch her, holding her up by her thighs, kissing her face repeatedly.

Her skin is soft and her hair is flowing with the night breeze making her look more beautiful than ever. The city lights reflecting on her face, highlighting her beautiful features.

I put her down giving her a kiss and I pull her down onto the blankets and pillows. “I have one more surprise for you my love..” I say, brushing her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear.

“Another one? Baby you didn’t have to-“ She says. “Shush, you deserve it and so much more.” I say cutting her off and pulling out a ring. “It’s a promise ring.”

She smiles and her eyes well up with tears. “Matt that’s so sweet oh my goodness..” She says trying to hold back her tears. I pause and take a deep breath before speaking.

“Y/n I promise to always be here for you, to be the one who cherishes your love. I promise to be faithful and to be the man that you deserve.” I say, sliding the ring on her ring finger. “I promise to be the woman you deserve too baby.. I promise i’ll always love you..” she says hugging me.

After that she lays in my lap, her upper back against my chest and her head against the crook of my neck as I hold her. We watch the stars and stare out into the darkness of the ocean, the city lights reflecting onto the water. The night is perfect and so is she.

I turn her face towards me and I gently kiss her lips. “I love you Y/n..” I say with a smile. “I love you more baby..”

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ———-

I walk towards where the sea meets the land and I sit in the very spot from that night, I breathe and take in the night air. The waves crash gently against the shore, a soothing rhythm that once matched the beat of our hearts.

I sat at the edge of the ocean, the place where we made our promises. The night sky seems endless, but it only reminds me of the distance between us now. Every memory we shared flashed before my eyes, each one more vivid than the last. The laughter, the tears, the promises we made.. they all feel so close, yet so far away.

In that moment, I realize that everything we had was slipping through my fingers like sand and I regret everything I said that pushed you away, I just want you back.

The echoes of our last conversation lingered in the air, haunting me with every breath I take. The place we once cherished now feels empty, a different contrast to the warmth you brought into my life.

The sky darkened, identical to the darkness I now feel in my life. The gentle breeze that once brought your laughter now carried only silence.

I sat there, hoping for a miracle, a sign that you might come back. A sign that this wasn't the end. I could only hope that we’d find each other again when the time was right.. but for now, I whispered your name one last time, knowing deep down that this was goodbye, and just like that you were gone.

Then I lost you.

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ———-

3,086 words.

A/N: (Ahhh my first series is finally finished!! I’m so devastated, and i’m as we speak. Thank you all for the support and I really hope you guys love this last part :) thank you 🫶🏼)

Taglist: @urmom69lol @imwetforyourmom @tsturniolo4 @watercolorskyy @starzinasblog @urfavstromboli @sturniqloo @star-yawnznn @h3arts4harry @asherrisrandom

[dark-frosted-heart]

Choose Your True Love - Keith Howell (part 1/4)

This is the from the 4th anniversary event

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. 

The twittering of birds stirred me from my slumber.

(Mmm…I ended up falling asleep)

(Huh, but I was waiting for Keith in his room, so how did I wind up in his secret room…)

When I sat up and rubbed my sleepy eyes, I felt something hit my hand.

It was Prince Keith’s diary, with its neat script unfinished.

(It’s an old diary. Was I reading this before I fell asleep…)

I stared up as I tried to remember—the sight that greeted me had me jump to my feet.

(No way…Half of Prince Keith’s diaries are missing…What in the…)

The shelves looked so empty, but I couldn’t find the missing diaries anywhere.

While I tried to wrap my head around what happened, I heard the door open.

Alter!Keith: …

Emma: Prince Keith! The diaries—

Alter!Keith: …

(Huh…?)

I suddenly felt a painful tug on my arm and found myself pinned against a bookshelf.

He held my wrists above my head and glared down at me with cold eyes. 

It’s the first time anyone's been this hostile toward me.

Alter!Keith: Who’re you? Why’re you here?

Emma: Huh, who…I’m Emma.

Alter!Keith: Emma? Sorry, but I don’t remember anyone with that name.

(It doesn’t sound like he’s joking. Does he really not know me…?)

(...Calm down. Panicking won’t change things)

I was trembling in confusion and fear, but I took some breaths to calm myself down.

~~ Flashback ~~

(It’s an old diary. Was I reading this before I fell asleep…)

(No way…Half of Prince Keith’s diaries are missing…What in the…)

~~ Flashback end ~~

(If the diaries never existed in the first place rather than just suddenly disappearing front he bookshelves…then Prince Keith’s reaction is “justifiable”)

(Am I…in the past?)

Emma: …

A large hand touched my neck and a chill went down my spine at the feeling of my life being in his hands.

Alter!Keith: You thinking about something? You’re underestimating me just ‘cause you’re dealing with a failure. Some damn noble told me I shouldn’t be nice to trespassers just ‘cause they’re female.

The grip around my neck tightened slightly.

(I don’t know if he’ll believe me. But at this rate, he won’t be just threatening me)

The wicked Prince Keith in front of me was way more like a beast than the one I knew.

Emma: …I have no idea why I’m here.

But one thing I know is that I’m not from this time, rather, I’m from the future.

Alter!Keith: Haha, your skills at deception suck so bad that it almost sounds true. You got proof?

Emma: …I know who “you” are. You’re a Prince Keith with an alternate personality…I know why you were born.

Alter!Keith: …

Emma: Please, believe me.

His golden eyes wavered, as if doubting reality.

As he opened his mouth to speak, a knock sounded on the door in the other room.

Liam: ……Excuse me?

It was Liam, Prince Keith’s butler.

He stared at me in surprise and raised a brow.

Liam: Prince Keith…What is the meaning of this?

This pressure he’s exuding…He must think that wicked Prince Keith snuck a woman in.

Prince Keith gave an irritatingly wicked smile.

Alter!Keith: Found her in the study. Our guest says she’s from the future.

Liam: ……Huh?

(He furrowed his brows…That’s a valid reaction)

(But even I’m surprised)

Emma: You believe me, Prince Keith?

Alter!Keith: It’s not that. But “my” existence is also improbable. So someone coming from the future isn’t impossible either. You said your name’s Emma? Tell me the reason why I was born.

Emma: Well…

(Though it’s something that happened to the nice Prince Keith, it’s still a painful past for the wicked Prince Keith)

I stuttered as I recalled the pained look on Prince Keith’s face when he told me.

Alter!Keith: …You actually know. Liam, you believe it a little more now, don’t you?

Emma: Did you just ask him to verify?

Alter!Keith: I said I didn’t believe you. 

Liam: The reason is as absurd as ever. …However, I don’t believe you’re lying. Besides, you’re the first to not freak out about Prince Keith acting differently from usual. But even I…didn’t believe you in the beginning.

(Liam and Prince Keith have known each other since they were children)

(Maybe it took him a moment to come to terms with reality because he was too confused)

Those furrowed brows and look of regret broke my heart.

Alter!Keith: We can throw her into a cell and torture her if she acts suspicious. You don’t look like you’re good at running away.

Emma: I won’t. Rather, I won’t leave your side no matter what. Because I personally don’t want to.

Alter!Keith: Oh? You care a lot about this failure. A guy without any merit.

Emma: What, yes he does. He has a lot.

Alter!Keith: Fine, he has a lot. Pardon me.

(...He just brushed me off)

(At least I can stick around as long as I don’t act suspicious…That’s a relief)

Suddenly, what happened in the study came to mind.

(Now that I think about it, I wonder what Prince Keith was going to say)

Alter!Keith: …So, did you bring it Liam?

Liam: Yes. Please be careful with it.

Alter!Keith: It’d be better to spread them out. That way, they can wreck each other and resolve this immediately.

He snickered, took the documents, and looked over them.

He was smiling, but his eyes were surprisingly cold.

Alter!Keith: Reliable as ever. Good boy. For now, I’ll go pay the guys here a visit. Prepare a carriage.

Liam: On it.

After bowing, Liam left the room.

My eyes drifted to the documents and some of the names on it caught my attention.

(If I recall correctly, they’re all nobles that support the king’s brother)

I remember coming across them while I was reading books to prepare myself for my official duties.

Emma: Um, what exactly are these documents?

Alter!Keith: …Wanna come along?

[naussensei]

“Suguru…”

A voice called— soft and warm, like a spring breeze, wrapping him in gentle warmth.

“Suguru…”

The voice called again.

It was Satoru’s voice, pulling him out from his slumber. He could recognize that voice anywhere.

Suguru’s body slowly reminded him of where he was, bringing him back to his senses.

With a deep breath, he began to move. He felt the grass between his fingers and straightened his back against the tree. It was slightly sore from sleeping against its trunk for who knew how long. There was a nice, warm breeze blowing on his face. Suguru indulged in it, allowing himself to linger there a little longer, listening to the leaves rustle overhead. He had always liked spring days like this, dry and sunny, with no summer showers or humid heat to dampen his skin or his mood.

His head lolled to one side, the sun kissing his cheek gently. His bangs fell over his eyes, and he could almost swear he felt Satoru brush them away from his face.

After a while, he felt Satoru’s finger poke his cheek. He was sure of this now. Satoru always did it.

“Oi, Suguru,” he called again, the insistent tone in which he did being both annoying and endearing in an odd way. The way Satoru always pronounced every syllable in his name so emphatically was amusing. Surely, there was no harm in pretending to be asleep a little longer just to listen to it.

“Su-gu-ru…” Satoru poked again, one, two, three times. Suguru could feel his breathing on his face. “Suguruuuuuu… How much longer are you gonna sleep?”

Suguru smiled and opened his eyes. Satoru’s face was right in front of his, judgmental blue eyes glaring at him through dark round shades.

“What time is it?” Suguru rubbed his eyes, looked around, and saw the school’s backyard. They must have dozed off while studying again. Final exams were just around the corner, and with them, the last days of school.

“Time to go.” Satoru straightened up, folding his arms over his chest impatiently. He was all geared up and ready to go, backpack and all. “I told Shoko and Utahime we would meet them at the arcade at 6. It is now 5.50.”

“Oh?” Suguru yawned, stretching his arms over his head, his eyes tearing a little. “Since when did Gojo Satoru worry about being on time? You always make me wait. How come they get special treatment? Should I be jealous?”

“Dumbass,” Satoru scoffed and shook his head, but he was grinning. He offered his hand to help Suguru up.

Suguru stared at it for a moment, thoughtfully, reviewing the recent memories of his childhood in his mind. He tried to recall the last time someone had offered their hand to him like that and realized he could not, because he had not, and the absurd simplicity of it made him squirm. He stared at Satoru’s hand, hesitant, and as he did, he could not help but think that, if there was anyone in this world who could ever understand, it had to be him. It could only be him.

“Alright,” he said as he took Satoru’s hand to stand up. “But don’t come crying to me when I beat you in King of Fighters again.”

“Again?! That last one didn’t count! Shoko was distracting me!” He turned his back to Suguru, shoved his hands into his pockets, and slouched as he started walking.

Suguru chuckled, then followed behind. “You’re such a sore loser,” he said in a soft voice, then gently pulled Satoru’s uniform from the back to make him slow down. He did, and they walked side by side.

“Tell you what,” Satoru suggested after a while, hooking an arm around Suguru’s neck roughly, nearly strangling him. “How about this? Loser pays for the burgers after.”

Suguru fumbled; their hips bumped into each other, and he had to wobble a bit not to fall. Normally, he would have been bothered by this, by the closeness, the invasion of his personal space, but today he was not. Today, he could not stop himself from smiling.

He wrapped an arm around Satoru’s waist and swayed with him before they kept walking.

“Fine, but I’m warning you. I’ll order the most expensive combo.”

“In that case,” Satoru sneered. “How about this… If I beat you, you show one of your curses.”

“No.”

“Oh please! Don’t be like that.”

“No, Satoru, you know curses are strictly for missions. They’re not pets. They’re dangerous, and they can scare civilians that can sense them and—”

“But you’re the one who controls them.” Satoru said calmly. “You wouldn't let anything happen to anyone. Besides, they’re not scary; they’re cool. You have one of the coolest cursed techniques that ever existed, and yet you want to hide it from the world. You should be more proud of it.”

Suguru let out a gasp in disbelief. Out of all the words he’d imagined to describe his technique, “cool” had never even crossed his mind. Neither had he ever imagined it was something to take pride in. His throat tightened all of a sudden, and his grip loosened on Satoru’s waist, suddenly weak. His steps slowed down.

Satoru seemed to realize this because he turned to look at him with a puzzled expression.

“Suguru?”

Satoru sighed; a faint smile was all he could manage as a response, his throat too dry. He began to walk again before his eyes began to tear. He was not going to explain to Satoru the impact his words had just had on him. He wouldn’t understand.

“So, is that a yes?” Satoru walked faster to catch up.

“Not today,” Suguru said with a soft smile but did not slow down his pace.

They continued to walk side by side for another block, the silence between them a comforting one, the rhythm of their footsteps merging into an already familiar sound. After another moment, Satoru spoke again.

“Can we at least ride on your dragon then?”

“No…”

[mallowsweetmiri]

hi lovely, don't know if you're taking requests but: reader is dating fred, she's sirius' daughter, she's asleep at grimmuald place the night of the battle at the ministry and when she wakes up lupin tells her sirius died and she becomes hysterical and has a panic attack fred trys to calm her down but she pushes him away and locks herself away. fluff ending?

sad wolfstar and angst/fluff with Fred? I love it.

Tw: character death, panic attack

—————————————————————————

It had been just a few weeks since you’d left Hogwarts. Considering you were an unregistered animagus, the daughter of convicted murderer Sirius Black, and caught up in the middle of a war, you felt justified to leave with Fred and George. Of course Molly was less than happy when the three of you showed up at Grimauld Place, but Sirius quickly stepped up to your defense. After all, he had been fond of pranks and mischief during his stay at Hogwarts.

“One night, me and Moony snuck out and changed all of the clocks just so we could sleep in. We kept changing them all week, and by Friday, it was dark at 2 pm!” Sirius had told you earlier that night. It made you smile as you laid in bed. You had waited your whole life to be with your father, and you were finally able to spend every day with him. So what if you missed out on graduating? Nothing could beat waking up and seeing the smile on his face. You heard a small knock on your door.

“Can I come in?” You heard Fred whisper as he cracked open your door. You were surprised he hadn’t just apparated in without permission.

“Yeah,” you whispered, sitting up in your bed. The moonlight fell on his face as he came into the room, shutting the door behind him. You couldn’t help but smile at him. It was comforting to know you had a lifelong friend by your side.

“Can’t sleep?” He said softly, taking a seat on your bed. You shook your head.

“Not quite. Just thinking,” you sighed, looking out the window at the night sky. Your eye was trained to go straight to Sirius.

“I couldn’t either. Not after all that ruckus earlier,” Fred shook his head and played with your sheets. Your head snapped towards him.

“What ruckus?” You asked, your stomach dropping. Damn this top floor room.

“I don’t know what it was about. You know how the order is, keeping us in the dark. But me and George charmed the front door just the other week. Almost everybody is out of the house right now,” Fred clenched his jaw, searching your face for a reaction. Your eyebrows furrowed together as you stood up. What the hell was going on? You hated that nobody told you shit. Sirius was the only adult who was willing to let you guys in on plans, but even he hadn’t said anything to you tonight. He often held things from you and used keeping you safe as his excuse.

“Do you think they’re on a mission? Even Sirius is out?” You said nervously, biting your nail. “He’s not supposed to leave the house.” Fred stood and placed his hands on your shoulders.

“Y/N, it’s going to be okay. I wouldn’t have come and told you if I thought you were going to get nervous,” he chuckled, his smile relaxing you a bit. “Now, come on. Me and George are playing snaps in our room.” You let out a huff at his incredulous face and shook your head, trying to hide the smile tugging at your lips.

“Okay, okay. Let me just put some pants on,” you grumbled, turning towards your dresser. Fred plopped back on your bed.

“Okay, love. There’s really no need for that but if it makes you feel better,” he hummed. You shot him back a glare that only widened his grin. You slipped on a pair of sweatpants and followed Fred out of your room, down two flights of stairs, and into the twins room. It was just a gray as yours was, but with a window view overlooking the opposite side of the city.

“There she is,” George grinned, laying out a deck of cards on the carpet. You waved him off a took a seat. “Let the games begin.” The three of you got through four rounds, and it was beginning to get heated when a racket from the front door startled you. Your eyes came to meet Fred’s as a look of concern flashed through both of your eyes. You scrambled up and ran for the door, entering the hall to peer over the railing. You saw the lot of them rushing into the house, some looked injured. You watched as Remus entered, looking thoroughly shaken, but no Sirius by his side.

“Y/N, wait,” you heard Fred say, but you ignored him. You dashed down the stairs towards Remus. Towards the man that raised you.

“Remus, Remus,” you panted, your stomach dropping when you saw his face. “Where is my dad?” He physically cringed when you said this. You already knew at that point, from the look on his face, the pain behind his eyes. You knew this man well.

“Y/N, darling. Let’s go somewhere private,” he spoke, his voice raspy and barely above a whisper. Tears brimmed in your eyes, your voice caught in your throat. You could feel Remus shaking as you clutched his arms, his own eyes looking wet and bloodshot. No. No. This could not be happening.

“Remus,” your voice cracked, “is he- He’s gone?” You whined, your body rejecting even the thought. A tear spilled out from the corner of his eye, his entire body shaking with grief. Remus couldn’t help it of course, when you looked so much like him. When he had watched you wait for Sirius your whole life, just for him to be taken away.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Please, let’s-” you didn’t stay to hear the rest. Your feet were taking you up the stairs. You ran past Fred despite his protests and went straight to your room. You could feel your lungs collapsing when you finally reached your door. The air was coming in short gasps, over and over and over again as your eye reached his star outside the window. Your body let out a whine as you fell back against the door. You sobbed as your breathe left you. You didn’t feel real, this couldn’t be real. You had just gotten him. You had finally gotten to see his smile and hear his laugh and see where you got your hair from. You had finally gotten to see Remus smile for real, gotten to watch them joke around like the old times, gotten to see the man Remus told you stories about when you were little. And all for nothing. All for a war to tear him away from you. Another sob choked you as you reached for your wand, casting a locking and silencing charm on the door. The floor felt cold. You gasped for air as you imagined how cold Sirius was. Where was his body? Nobody seemed to carry him into the house. You felt bile rise up in your throat as you imagined him, cold, hard, and dead. Your body rushed to the bathroom and fell over the toilet, violently gagging into the bowl. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think. You didn’t want to be here anymore, not in this body. Not when you looked in the mirror and saw his eyes, his hair, resting on your face. You couldn’t do that, it was too painful. It would be better to be with him, even if it meant not being alive.

“Y/N,” you heard a knock on the door. You laid on the bathroom floor, trying and failing to breathe.

“Y/N, please let me in,” the voice called again. It was Fred. You pushed yourself up and tried to call out but your voice failed you. You realized it wouldn’t matter anyway because of the charm. And your wand was next to the door.

“Y/N, I’m going to come in,” you heard him say. He muttered a view counter spells and easily undid your charms. Must’ve been sloppy work on your part. You found it hard to care. The door cracked open and Fred stepped inside. You stayed on the bathroom floor, curled into a ball, choking on your own sobs. “Y/N,” Fred gasped, coming over to you. He knelt down beside you and scooped you up into his arms as if you were nothing more than a bag of flour. You wailed again as you felt the warmth of his body flush against yours. A stark difference from the cold bathroom tile. “Shh,” he shushed you as he sat down on your bed, rocking you in his arms. This made you cry harder into his chest.

“He- he’s gone. I only just had him and he’s gone,” you moaned, hiccuping on your sobs. His hands came to stroke your head as he shushed you.

“Just breathe, Y/N. Just breathe for me,” he whispered, taking deep breaths in hopes you’d follow. You tried your best to match his breathing, albeit your sobs broke them up. “That’s it,” he muttered into your hair, “just breathe.” You relaxed into him as your sobs settled down, your body finally exhausting itself. You sniffled and sat up a bit, seeing how badly you’d drenched Fred’s shirt with tears.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, running your fingers along his shirt collar. He huffed out a laugh and put his hand on your cheek.

“Y/N, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” he smiled softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your head. You hugged him again, taking a deep breath into his neck. He hummed as he rocked you in his arms.

“I- I know,” you sniffled, “but I’m still sorry.” You sobbed again into his chest. Your heart felt like it was tearing itself in two.

“Y/N,” Fred whispered, trying to calm you down, “let me take you to Remus, please Y/N,” he kissed the top of your head again as he rocked you. You nodded into his chest, knowing he was right. You couldn’t imagine how Remus was feeling, and it made you hurt inside even more. You sniffled and sat up, looking down into your lap.

“Thank you, Fred,” you said, looking up to him through your tears. He offered you a sad smile as he wiped them away.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said, using his strength to stand you up. “Let’s go,” he reached out his hand and you took it. He led you down the stairs and into the main foyer, where Remus sat with his head in his hands. You frowned when you saw him.

“Remus,” you whispered, your voice giving out. His head snapped up at your voice and he rushed towards you, immediately wrapping you into a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he sobbed as he rocked you. Your sobs escaped you again. You heard the doors shut behind you and figured Fred had left to give you space.

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered as you cried in his arms. Remus had been with you for your whole life, and in this moment, you were eternally grateful. The two of you cried for the rest of the night, and you figured you would cry for a few more. You were just grateful to have him and your friends to help get you through this.

[texasbama]

RYAN?????

[gayafsowhat]

Eepy hours

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

[hella1975]

american girlie stepped on the tube looked me dead in the eye and went ‘is this going to london’ oh how the tables have turned so suddenly babygirl

[beeholyshit]

"The Moon looks beautiful tonight doesn't It....?"

[databent]

strated writing and gave up on 2 separate posts basically just yelling about how mad it makes me that n24 is so misunderstood and accomodations are so unavailable. MAN

[floral-hex]

I’m so tired. I’m always tired. This suuuucks. and I’m sad and shitty. I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but I don’t think remeron is a workin for me. Accidentally typed “wormin for me” at first. I wish it was wormin for me. Why won’t you worm for me?😔

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 29

“Evil Like Me” by Kristin Chenoweth & Dove Cameron for Disney's Descendants OS

[running-in-the-dark]

okay so I got up.. less than 5 hours ago (yes it was another slept-all-day day)

annnd all I wanna do is go back to bed 🙃

[caramelmochacrow]

crow hath returned!!!! (i am. so so sos so tired. whole shebang is spoke in thine tags)

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

Soooooooooo guess who started crying in the doctor’s office bc she has to miss her labs tomorrow

[deanpinterester]

my least favourite stress dreams are the ones where i try to call 911 but no help comes. usually it's because dream-me can't properly type out 911 on a phone (the numbers get all scrambled once i type them out and i keep having to start over) but last night i had a particularly bad one where the call DID go through but the operator was very disinterested and when i explained my emergency said in a monotone "can you tell me why you're lying" while dream-me is bawling my eyes out