#just need that man to hold me okay.
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okay so I got up.. less than 5 hours ago (yes it was another slept-all-day day)
annnd all I wanna do is go back to bed 🙃
#it's partially because I'm (very) tired but also....#I need to spend several hours thinking about hugging Jenkins#just need that man to hold me okay.#sigh#anyway so now I don't know if I keep sleeping so much because something's wrong with me (I mean that's pretty likely either way) OR if it's#just that.. 'I've lost my mind and real life doesn't exist anymore' stage of being obsessed with someone. because that's also very likely#I vaguely remember that every time I woke up today (it happened a lot) I just kept closing my eyes again to think about Jenkins and/or Dan a#little more.... (and then I inevitably fell asleep again)#yeah sure maybe the fact that I'm at my in-laws' place and I hate it here and I don't really have anything to do has something to do with#it too... but eh 🤷 whatever. either way I'm thinking about that old man.#damn how do I stay awake. I keep almost falling asleep in my chair (unfortunate side effect of The Thoughts...)#I guess I'm gonna force myself to. idk do something. I could paint. or#no I can't think of anything else. so it'll have to be that I guess.#personal
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Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him
Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.
It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.
So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.
Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.
Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).
Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?
All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.
Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.
One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.
They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.
Memes For The Vibes:
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#captain's posts#this has been haunting me#the flash/any of the speedsters:*exist*#danny:*can feel the speedforce on them* i like your vibe funny man#basically danny is actually an alternate version of Ra's Al Ghul and gets chucked into the dc vesrse#because natural portals are bitches hijinks ensue#and while i do love batfam adopting danny i think its very funny for flash to just yoink him while the big bad bat isn't looking#i desperately need him and tim to be besties tho specifically before they find out danny is an alternate Ra's Al Ghul#danny:*sitting in a park and tinkering with some circuitry* oh hey flash :)#flash: hey kid! great news i might be adopting a kid soon!#danny: oh really? thats cool-#flash:*holding out adoption papers and doing his best puppy eyes* its you. sign here.#danny:*vague memory of clockwork complaining about speedster pops into his mind* hmmm#danny:*deciding to be a little shit cause what else do you do when you're almost a year into being stuck in an alternate dimension* >=)#danny: sure why not? soooo full name or what?#flash:*didn't expect to get this far* uh-#i also really like danny being clockworks apprentice/time line clean upper so danny just remembers cw bitchin about the speedsters#also cause im a sucker for tim x danny...#tim:*having a crisis cause the cute meta kid he befriended/has a crush on may or may not be a vlone of Ra's Al Ghul* aaaaasaaaaaaaasaaaaaaa#dick: you okay buddy?#tim:*aggressively points at the dna match of danny to Ra's Al Ghul on the bat computer* AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#dick: Oh-#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc
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on another note. it genuinely kinda surprises me how many people interpret ivan to be the type of person to Repress and Deny his feelings when, from all the evidence we actually have, he actually seems to be quite open about it?
he does do the dumb stare and watch from afar thing that till does with mizi, yeah, but even there i don’t know if i would necessarily interpret that as ivan like. pushing his feelings away. compare the difference between how till and ivan are framed in these two shots:
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in till's, we are pushed way farther back, seeing his full face and a good deal of his body as he slouches back. the colors are bright, fitting in with most of the happier mizisua angst memories, and you can read till's expression pretty clearly, even with his face beaten up. it's cute and mostly innocent, the kind of thing that makes you want to gently push him out from behind the wall to watch him stutter and get all embarrassed but reach out and play with his friends.
in ivan's... jesus. i mean, he looks like a freak (affectionate). you can't read his expression, despite the fact that we are zoomed in much more closely, only really seeing his eye as the placement of his hand covers his mouth. there is very little body language to convey the same type of sweet, childhood Yearning that till has in his staring shot. instead, for ivan, it all comes down to the Eye, how intently he stares as he watches till and mizi. it almost doesn't even feel like he wants to join in at that moment, or not yet, like watching alone is enough to feed the starvation.
don't get me wrong, there's still plenty of Yearning and Angst in that boy-- round 3 alone is enough to demonstrate that. but what i think people sometimes forget to account for is the fact that ivan acts like that specifically because he has already been rejected.
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up until [whenever this moment happens in the timeline] ivan seemingly has absolutely no qualms about getting all up close and personal with till. we see this in plenty of the round 6 flashbacks:
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he is plenty comfortable getting all up in till's personal space, whether it be to beat him up or just exist near him.
i also like how in this shot (below) we can see him specifically stand up and move seats, just so that he can bother till during lunch and have his little vampire weirdo moment (aww).
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ivan's behavior only really shifts after till has already rejected him-- which, i'd also like to note, seems to genuinely catch ivan off guard. perhaps he genuinely didn't even consider the possibility that till would ever push him away?? i guess it's hard to know the specifics of what he was feeling or thinking in that exact moment, but at the very least this speaks to the ease with which they existed around each other previously.
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thus: ivan doesn't begin with the belief that till could never love him. he only starts to doubt whether or not his feelings are requited after he has already been rejected, after he pushed too hard and too quick.
after the failed meteor shower date, his affections become a lot more subtle-- sneaking around to take care of till when he needs it, but only when his eyes are closed. the love and obsession and watchfulness is all still there, but he takes more care to hide it better now. until... well, y'know.
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he lets the selfishness win. :]
#i also need to catch up on all the side content so take this with a grain of salt but. ahem#astronaut rambles#alnst#ivan alien stage#ivantill#<- ivan focused but whatever this is still relevant#i may expand on that comparison between ivan's crush on till & till's on mizi later actually#cuz the difference in framing is also very very interesting to me#specifically in the ways in which till like. man idk how to say this#like he sees mizi more as an idealized version of herself i guess?#we see this in round 7 too-- mizi is salvation#something easy and pretty and sweet to grasp onto (and boy does till need something to hold on)#(i mean getting the shit beaten out of him is like his Brand. but okay poast for another day)#whereas ivan. i mean not to say that he doesn't idealize till to some degree too#but they also seem to just genuinely know one another better#there's more of an inherent awareness/acceptance of the ways in which till is fucked up for ivan than there is for how till sees mizi#well fuck i guess i did the expansion right there SIGHS okay anyways#alien stage#long post
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Okay I just need to say that I knew I'd like this Tailstube as soon as I saw the thumbnail (after all, I am a Sonadails enjoyer, and Tails is literally in the middle of them in the thumbnail)
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But I think probably something that stood out the most to me when I watched it was just
The hints that Shadow and Tails have a relationship outside of Sonic??
The first thing that tipped me off to this was that not only did Tails convince Shadow to join in on his show, he also convinced him to stick around to its natural end?? You know, Shadow. The guy you can't force to do anything and frequently will just dip if he's bored or doesn't want to be there. But even while Sonic was annoying him and he made it clear he wanted the "interview" over with, he still never made a move to chaos control out of there because of any of this.
And the second thing that tipped me off was this:
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When Shadow is both confused and annoyed at Sonic, he chooses to complain to Tails about Sonic. And so Tails steps in to try to "explain" what Sonic meant by what he said (i.e he told Shadow something much nicer in the interest of getting them to be on better terms). The fact that he looks to Tails to complain to about Tails' own best friend and possibly even to explain that which he does not understand in a social context tells me just how highly he regards Tails. And since both Shadow and Sonic are being childish here, it's amusing to see Tails regarded as something closer to a trusted figure with more power here.
From an objective analysis standpoint, of course this means they have their own friendship. And this is a prospect I enjoy (The idea that Tails and Shadow are good friends)! It actually means a lot to me that Tails could form a frienship or bond with Shadow outside of the context of Sonic (in terms of who initiates it and for what reason it's initiated).
But, my friends, from a biased standpoint, I'm shipping trash. And to me this Tailstube was a fun show for Sonadails fans. Honestly, Tails staging this episode to get Sonic and Shadow to talk and "bury the hatchet", as well as how he acts during the show, read a lot to me personally like a guy trying to get his two boyfriends (who happen to be rivals) to get on better terms, if not just tolerate each other. I quite like the idea of Tails dating both of these idiots and just trying to get them to play nice when they're all together (although frankly I think the ideal scenario for Tails in my biased reading is that Sonic and Shadow get together as well).
This is also not to mention the dynamics showcased here! Sonic and Tails as best friends, with Sonic assuming that he and Tails were gonna talk shit about Shadow behind his back, and Tails trying to get him to play nicer. Shadow and Tails as friends, with Tails trying to convince him why he and Sonic are in the perfect position to become friends and helping him out socially, and with Shadow choosing to do something he doesn't want to because of Tails, as well as looking to Tails to complain to when Sonic is annoying him or when he doesn't understand something. And then there's Sonic and Shadow. In short, their relationship in this episode reminded me a lot of the dynamic I plotted out for that Sonadow post I wrote up where the two just beat the crap out of each other. In slightly longer terms, I find interesting how Mr. Flynn maintained Sonic and Shadow's dynamic during SA2 (with Sonic bothering Shadow and trying to fight him, while Shadow is just annoyed that Sonic won't leave him alone) while also showing the audience that they are rivals. And in longer terms...Sonic was clearly seeking a fight during this episode. And the facial expression, the mocking, his tone of voice, it doesn’t really matter whether or not he actually dislikes Shadow and believes they could never be friends. He's trying to annoy Shadow and goad him into a fight because he wants to fight Shadow so badly it makes him look stupid. And we can tell by how he expresses his confusion to Tails that Shadow is just not getting this. To him Sonic is just being annoying and confusing. Sonic is targeting him specifically, and Shadow shoots back with his own words. And so it's also pointed that Shadow reciprocates/actually decides to fight Sonic when Sonic specifically challenges him. He doesn't respond to Sonic trying to goad him on, but when Sonic challenges him specifically he's much more interested in opposing him.
Anyways guys I love Shadow and Tails having a soft on the side relationship while Sonic flirts by convincing Shadow to fight him somehow😂💖
#sonic the hedgehog#tailstube#sonadails#sonshadails#sonadow#sontails#shadails#shadow the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#i just be ramblin#man there are so many things about this episode#Another personal favorite interaction was when#Tails: Come on could you try to just say one nice thing about each other? One compliment? Please?#Sonic‚ mockingly: Anything you can do I can do better#Shadow: Yeah? Do it then. Prove it.#Sonic: Ah crap he called my bluff#Sonic: I uh...I love the way you...chaos control?#Tails: Okay. You do one now Shadow#Shadow: I uh... I also love the way you chaos control. ...It's impressive that you could do it with a fake emerald#Tails: See? You can compliment each other! Sorta#Sonic is on the aro/ace spectrum to me but to me his most compelling relationships are always little buddy effect related and knuckles#effect related#Which just means that he tends to hold relationships like his and Tails highly (and has taken more than one little buddy)‚ but is also#attracted to people who have tried to kill him. What can I say? He loves the softness and domesticity of having a smaller loyal partner as#he loves the danger and exhilaration of fighting/racing a strong opponent#Sonic and Shadow fighting (and especially Sonic trying to get Shadow to fight him on purpose) is just baseline what the two need#for 'toxic yaoi' so if someone can't even handle how hostile they were during the tailstube then...#Anyways‚ how we feelin Sonshadails fans?
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okay, cool cool cool
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#mob psycho 100#doodles#<- mm i mean that's a strong prolly but there's no shading and it was very nearly a sketchpage so Lol#i know i do fanart once in a billion years but i just noticed that i always end up drawing characters with short hair kfshv#//anywho i have 6 episodes left :3 it is nice i really like it hfbsh#i am taking a break rn and i drew this so. [poses and sparkles go flying into the air]#//the Horrors are real man ghfsh#my brain is SO torched though. just blorched. completely horgtched#i think i need a screen break just overall lmaoo#so i leave this. and go back to my heater blanket that is now just a normal blanket because it doesn't have a cord anymore#/which btw this is Such a nice blanket. not texture nor aesthetic-wise but can this thing hold Heat ! !#so i once again begin to grow attached to a blanket. this always happens and then i feel betrayed when they need to go to war#(go to get washed and prolly not come back into my possession lol)#i can see all the little heating wires (what were the words for them again...) when i hold it up to the light in there and they remind me o#hand veins. cool stuff :D#//okay yea so ANYWHO. ciao :3
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I’ve been playing Mario party jamboree and well is it just me or are a lot of the mini games g/t coded? Like there’s one where you cut a giant steak in half and one where you dodge giant sandwiches! That’s just two and there’s more with g/t vibes!
There’s also that fact that a lot of the mini games feel like remastered old ones but I’m okay with that, I just wasn’t expecting the g/t vibes
#gt#g/t#giant/tiny#gianttiny#mario party jamboree#listen listen there’s so many where you’re just small or like clearly in a toy box#like a decent amount of them#I just need a word with Nintendo is all#where’s my new g/t game man#me and my older bro love the sandwich one cause it’s just so silly to us#there’s a bowser map where he’s huge and he just GRABS YOU AND HOLDS YOU IN HIS HAND!!!!#HE WATCHES YOU WALK AROUND HIM!!!!!#I’m not okay and completely fine with this#I love it and need to play more to unlock everything
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#literally no feeling worse than getting a text from a a guy you know from your job and it being like#“hey this is [insert name] i hope you don't mind me texting you i got your number from work” 💀#like okay.#it's happened to me twice now and it's never with bad intentions#(and i mean i work at a convenience store so all the employee's numbers are posted in a open spot for calling-out purposes.#even though i. really wish they weren't.)#but like idk it never doesn't feel invasive#like sure you can use that number if you need me for work but if you wanna use it to be friends -#- i really feel like you should just wait until i actually give it to you? or at least ask me for it?#and like the first time it happened i don't hold it against the guy bc he was like 17 and social stuff like that isn't always apparent#and it was are last shift together and he didn't get the chance to ask me#but this dude who did it tonight is like 40 and at that point i'm like. c'mon man.#he didn't even introduce himself he just texted me carrying on a conversation we had today at work#now you've put me in a situation where i have to find a way to tell you i'm not comfortable with that -#- without sounding like a bitch or making you feel embarrassed#idk. maybe i'm being unreasonable? antisocial? unfriendly?#but i'm also a 24 year old woman and so i do have to think about Boundaries more then the boys/men i work with do :/#whatever. i do actually want to have more irl friends (like desperately 😅) but i do have boundaries and it's hard to be friends w/ someone-#- who just steamrolls over them without patience :/#anyway.#marie speaks
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the kids in middle school couldn't handle my autistic swag (reciting every single wes high school story line from memory) so they bullied me relentlessly. it's fine. at the end of the day i still know every single wes high school story line from memory and what do they know? exactly. not that.
#high school story? do not need to check those transcripts man. it's all in here *taps head* quest order name number and lines#i may be in my hollywood u era but i never forget my roots#anyway#i still feel weird talking about bullying because only recently i realised i was bullied. i swear to god i just thought i was weird and#that kids usually behaved like that with weird people like me. and then one day (two years ago) i told my therapist so this happened#she said well when we go through a bullying situation like that we can- hold on lady what are you talking about. literally what are you on#and then i think about it and i'm like ohhh. yeah. maybe people were really mean to me! i just wanted to show them my freak game#with the freak professor. okay i did NOT show them hollywood u that was between me and god. i did show them high school story#anyway. i got locked in a classroom once because of high school story choices. which is so fucking stupid to type. IN HIGH SCHOOL
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powerful sorcerer with magical storm blood who can still magic and rend minds and transform people btw
#pannic button. dont read my thoughts. uhm. I Wish I Was Riding My Girlfriend On A Nice Vacation Somewhere Rn?#[SUCCESS] 'ok well you want her but our god can give u something better than the avernus aether twist. for your consideration'#can the absolute do this (GIVES HER A LITTLE KISS ON THE FOREHEAD AND HOLDS HER HAND AND ITS NICE) HMM???#anyways im at moonrise now after whatt feels like forever. a lot of the noncombat checks were fun with him though!! sorc/bard priveleges!!#halsin's big fuzzy owlbear ass is hard for everyone to maneauver around now EXCEPT for arque who can fly. why are you cracked dude#ok last thing. arque is my pretty princess who keeps getting in situations. goblin kidnapping caused by drinking weird juice.#omeluum's brainworm mulcher caused by more madness juice. the githyanki device. well arque drank mystery elixer by an undead guy aagain#and everyone APPROVED. everyone loves arquebait ou ha ha. he's literally fine hes the party guineapig his magic will fix it probablymaybe.#he moments later stuck his hand into a wet fleshy wall hole and got STUCK and panicked yanking his arm out. shadowheart told em#'hm. maybe do not do that.' arque does it again and has horrible mental visions again. BUT WAS HE HURT? no and now we know more!#SO GUYS...ITS OKAY..... if something happen to arque itll eitjer be fixed by his arcane abilities or its like fine if not. its just arque#(this is a whole thing about his implied character to me. but now i'm getting too into the ocs..point is i love that he can keep Doing This#anyways thats all for me im spamming my private twt but yapping in tags only here so i dont ruin public tags. arquelach 4ever btw#goodnight ill... be another week until i can continue seeinh what the fucjs up with ketheric thorm. crazy good voice on him btw#i would have more to say about him being a nice voiced old man but (gestures) (karlach) this is all i thinkabout#baldur's gate 3#i need an oc tag#arquelach
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continuing the trend of me drawing bea as i'm in the last few days of winter in my awl file, ( decided to include our pets, hanami and jiji, too. ) i did sneak a peak at year 4 and i'm really gonna miss seeing her at this stage of life a lot! 😭
#changed her bow's shape to look more like a sprout and gave her a braid to match how i draw gustafa :)#expect old man gustafa content soon >:)#this game is mocking me by still having the hold button available let me hug my kid!!!! 😭😭😭#i might need to take a break from playing since i'm starting to feel a lil bored while playing#but that's just because i've been playing it nonstop and i'm falling into a repetitive routine in the game#i'm pretty sure bea's gonna end up pursuing music which i'm more than okay with#still bummed that i couldn't figure out how to increase her interest in art but there's always the next file#( i might try romancing lumina and i'm pretty sure her kid has art as a strength )#story of seasons#bokujou monogatari#a wonderful life#chara : bea lantos-beckenbauer#🎨 : mj draws
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"if you fancy Astarion, you might want to consider therapy. He's so damaged I must have him! Enjoy the fantasy and then call a therapist. It's a two step thing and it's very important you do both." - Amelia Tyler what do your narrator eyes see? 😂😂😂
#ohohooooohoo the little random tidbits devs and voice actors have dropped about his companion arc is making me NERVOUS#just throwin out some meta thoughts here#in order for astarion to *get rid of* the tadpole; cazador *has* to die first. like i'll bet my left tit this is conditional#since cazzy is apparently a control freak he might be enemies w the mindflayers/absolute cult bc ''bleh bleh my city''#i think its entirely possible that we could ally w cazador against the absolute; this would like have to result in astarion attacking tav#im just worried it might be like; you have to at least temporarily side w the absolute if you kill cazzy?#idk! idk!#and like i do think there will probably be a 3rd option of like 'i hate both these groups kill them both' but man.#and then there's whatever is going on w his ''this soul is not for sale except in the realm of the undead'' stamp#like are we gonna have to go the there? wherever the fuck that is?#pls amelia i am begging on my knees i need a sign! of hope!#bc now the hug and hand holding in the trailer is making me think larian is trying to trick me into believing he'll be okay#only to hit me with a devastating ending(s) no matter what#idk. man. i read astarion's writer was fanes writer. idk dos2 but like i am aware of what......happened w that 'romance'#pls i need a sign larian#i am so sick of the bioware style romances! the morrigans! the solases ! the unresolved endings of it all! ENOUGH#i want closure from this i am begging#for once in my life i just want closure for a video game romance ending#i JUST THINK LIKE ideally. for me. he'd have at least 1 ending where he's not cured but lives happily ever after*#i am having a hard time picturing him cured of vampirism. tbh. but if it's possible without him immediately dying then. well hats off#its 2 AM here i need to knock it tf off and go to bed#........unless.....yall want to enable me and discuss this further#i am 1 more bad day away from writing a thesis on this in MLA format istg
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thinking about Joel Miller set in a southern gothic background
#okay hold on but preacher joel miller#very much touch starved and depraved and morally fucked preacher joel miller who has his eyes set on the newest convert#my girlies with religous trauma stand up#i need to read an obsessive joel miller fic NOW!#im just imagining him baptizing her and only thinking about how the water flows around her curves like that scene in immaculate#i might need to write fucked up miller idk just a man in his 50s who def couldnt give 2 shits about god#obsessed with this homeschooled all her life socially depraved girl#OR detective joel who investigates a trail of homocides sharp objects style#imagining him all sweaty and in a button up with suspenders all the time for his holsters#someone talk to me about this i fear ive lost my mind#this is like all inspired by sharp objects/ starling girl/ devil all the time
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i have Thoughts
#just me hi#i'm gonna ramble now check this out Lmaoo:#ofc any major belief built on hating someone sucks. like fundamentally#and mostly the idea is that you would be protecting yourself and the Similar-to-yous (which is U-2.0)#and it's confusing like. what do you get out of this ?#ik there's the satisfaction. the deep feeling of security you get in your stomach believing that you're right and your anger is purifying#that you're somehow anointed for persecution by Words and Actions you see through the other side of a water glass#and i don't know what i'm tryna say. i'm confused hjfshvgh#of course there's fear. there's a lot of fear. but it's very selfish fear. the kind that makes you protect others because they're Just like#you#and i dunno. what's the point ? so you hate somebody. that's cool :)#how can you love people then. do you love people because they are people or because they have faces you wish you had ? or you can see faces#on them that may not be there ? or they say your face can be like theirs if you only try and never stray ? or that you've had this face all#along. why change? you can't change it's wrong#i dunno man. this makes no sense !!#isn't it always scary to hate everything ? i know it is#like yes the world hates everyone anyway but what is special about that ? what makes this fear worth so much more than another person ?#i dunnooooooo ♪#maybe im just naive! but holding onto somethin like that until you find solace in misery is no way to be baby! i'm gonna go eat snow outsid#//anywhoooooooooo i AM drawing. and that IS in fact a lie i've been procrastinating on it for some timeeeeeeeeeee ggoroughhhhhhhhhhhh LMAO#i don't wanna :( but i REALLY wanna you get what i'm sayin hfshjgjfsh#it could be so easy.. life could be a dream life could be a dream... doo doo doo doo ba dee...... ♪#i need to find an animal for this though and i don't wanna 😔 i do hate this part of the process jfhgfjghjsf#don't like.. researching animals..... it's Not fun lol#but i must prevail. because it's inevitable that i do :/ oh wells#so i'm gonna GO and watch my VIDEO and have a SNACK and DRAW :33 because i WANNA. okey doke hjfshgs#TOODLES 💫💥#//edit: also lowkey i feel like hate is too weak word for this kinda thing ykno? like damn what's got the gates of hell open dude chill Lol#okay BYEEE
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Please pray that a complicated billing situation will be sorted out and covered by my insurance. It's for an ambulance ride I had in June for a panic attack. Some of you might remember me panicking about it a few months ago when I got the statement.
#it's a giant bill and my mom's insurance which is my primary only covered a tiny portion of it#and the ambulance service tried only once to contact my secondary insurance and they never even got it#so they never covered anything#but they were never contacted#so then i made them contact each other when it was made apparent that otherwise i would owe $2020.#yes two thousand and twenty dollars#and then i was waiting for them to deal with it#and today i just received another statement still showing that they never contacted that insurance and that i owe them the money by the 30th#so i panicked a little bit#then called the insurance and they said they had just recieved the claim on the first#so then i called the ambulance service and told them so and asked if the due date of the 30th was still in place#and she said no it's on hold and the insurance lady said most likely some of it would be covered#so hopefully it will go down drastically#and man this whole situation is like.... why did i have to do all the contacting back and forth#i thought that was y'all's job#but whatever#so now i am waiting again :)#fully aware that i may still owe a large chunk of that#but it's okay bc i am starting a new job and all will be well :)))))))#right???????#all will be well??????#and it was a dang panic attack that started all this#so i feel somewhat like this is all my fault#if i had never taken that thc gummy and greened out so bad and worked myself up none of this would be happening :)#but that's not healthy for me to think#it's in the past and i truly thought i needed to go in so in that moment i was doing what i thought i needed to do to take care of myself#i should be proud of myself for that#i just wish healthcare was different in this country
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jim-
joking but I AM thinking about wings tattoos sighhh UGHH i think u gave thrm that yeahh
I did in fact give him Wing tattoos along with Grian- they have those in the WAaDW au- and Yes the tattoos are different bird themes- Yes Grian's is a parrot and Yes Jimmy's is a Canary- one day I'll draw proper refs for my au this I swear-
#Jay :D!!#madi answers :>#WAaDW au :>#They may also have a certain cult tattoo on the back of their necks and one of them may have that tattoo a bit botched#just saying that these boys have tattoos#which one of them definitely has had to hold the other's hand while getting the back tattoo because of their previous tattoo experience not#being so pleasant... but you know That's just a little thing#I could talk about Jimmy so much in this AU Jay it's not fucking Funny Ru's been getting me to ramble about him AND I'VE GONE PAST THE#DISCORD CHARACTER LIMIT TOO MANY TIMES ALREADY IT'S GOTTEN TOO LONG MAN#also may have gotten Ru attached to the bad boys dynamic SO THAT'S FUN#god i need to draw more for my au I'm so ill I need to write my au i need to do a lot of things actually i'm biting myself#I do actually have a drawing of Jimmy's back with onr (1) of his tattoos (I wanted an excuse to draw wings and not wing tattoos okay okay)#if you wanna see that Jay#aNYWHO THIS IS GETTING LONG FJDDKDMDKDD
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Not sneeze just mental health rambling in the tags
#I’ve spent a very long time trying to change my brain so I can just operate at a neurotypical level#it’s always been impossible and I feel like shit for it#so recently I finally just said#I am not neurotypical and never will be no matter what I do!#so I need to be kind to myself and make the accommodations I need for myself!#which is a work in progress but idk. it’s kind of painful that the neurotypical people in my life act like I’m asking for an arm and a leg#when I’m very genuinely asking if slight changes could be made between us#I absolutely don’t expect anyone to change their lifestyle for me or anything#it’s stuff like not holding long conversations when I’m in the middle of writing because it messes up my flow#and I tell my family beforehand! hey I’m gonna write for a couple of hours does anyone need anything from me before#and they say no! but then ten minutes later will start telling me a story about their day#which I’m okay to hear BEFORE I start a writing session or AFTER#and I goddamn communicate that!!! but they act like I’m asking for nobody to ever speak to me again#another thing is that I CANNOT eat anything past an expiration date#I know it’s still probably good but my brain will just keep saying YOURE GONNA DIE OF FOOD POISONING#so say the half gallon of milk is past its date#I will buy a fresh one to start using myself but I don’t toss the old one because I know others don’t care as much#and they they complain that I’m wasting milk#like I’m sorry it’s 1) my money and 2) how is it being wasted when y’all are happy to drink it til it’s done?#idk man!! neurotypical people sure do say that shit should be easy for neurodivergent people#but they sure do struggle to be slightly accommodating without bitching#idk rant over peace out
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