#and this is coming from a person with trust issues

[leah-lover]

Sketches. Mapi x Ingrid x reader.

Summary: what happens when Ingrid and mapi discover the sketches r drew of them.

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Doom scrolling on your phone after practice was your favorite activity of the day. You would come home exhausted, throw your kitbag in the hallway, and cocoon in your coach for about an hour.

Today was no different. You got home and did the same thing. You opened TikTok, and scrolled half mindedly. One video though grabbed your attention. It was a tik tok from the official page of Barcelona where your teammates were asked to describe you in a few words.

Cata was the first to answer and she did so by describing you as quiet. It was fair you didn't talk much if at all. It's not that you weren't comfortable enough with the team, you were just a quiet person. Irene was next and she called you kind which put a smile on your face. All your teammates called you different versions of sweet, kind, funny, quiet, and shy. You found their words endearing and it almost brought you to tears. This reaction quickly went away after you heard what mapi described you. “ Talented artist.” your face turned white and your heartbeat was accelerating. Her answer was followed by Ingrid who described you as an “ impressive painter.”

You dropped your phone quickly. “ No it can't be. No no no no. Fuck!!” You got up from the couch and tried to keep yourself busy. You put away your kit bag, did laundry , cleaned the house surprisingly thoroughly. You even meal prepped. all of this so that you wouldn't think about that video, their response, and what most likely saw.

Your alarm found you awake for the first time since the champion’s league final which spoke greatly to the anxiety you were experiencing. The thought of being face to face with them knowing that they know your secret terrified you but had to go to training so you did, and your mission was to get through the day without making contact with them because if you did you would either cry or throw up and that wasn't an option.

“ Nena what's wrong?” Asked Alexia at the meeting room.

“ Nothing capi everything is good.” You say trying to contain your tears. That's when she held your hand and redirected her focus to the coach. She rubbed her thumb across your knuckles once in a while. Once the meeting was over she pulled you gently out of the room and to a different room.

“ We are not getting out of this room until you tell me what is wrong.” Alexia looked so gentle, caring and a little bit worried. But you couldn't tell her what was wrong.

“ Nena I love you and I care about you deeply. Your anxiety is clearly through the roof. Just let me help you. We decided that you would let me help, remember.” She put her hand on your shoulder and desperately waited for an answer.

Alexia was like a big sister to you. She helped you survive your time in Barca but your issue right now was within the team not the pressure or the limelight and you know there was nothing to fix it.

“ I want a transfer. I want to leave Barcelona. I want to leave. “ You close your eyes so that you won't cry.

“ It's okay pequena everything is gonna be okay. I can fix this, whatever this is I can fix it. Trust me.” She pulled you in for a hug. Your anxiety was through the roof and the voices in your head were screaming vile and scary things at you.

“ I want to leave ale. I am serious.” You try to say sturnely.

“ You are one of your best strikers. We need you now more than ever if we want to quadruple again. And we do so you are staying.” She just held you as you cried some more.

Once you calmed down you apologized to Alexia. “ I guess you aren't gonna tell me right?” she asked again.

“ It's just about a stupid video.” You tried to stop the words as they were coming out of your mouth but it was too late.

“What video?” She asked suspiciously.

“ A video posted by the Barca page. It's nothing to worry about. Sorry capi, I didn't mean to freak out.”

“ It's fine Nena if you don't feel like training you can go home. “ She proposed after realizing you won't say anything.

“ Yeah I think that is a good idea.” You went to the locker room, grabbed your bag and left. Alexia then pulled out her phone and searched for the video you were talking about. She watched it 3 times and her teamates’s answers seemed fine, but she got suspicious of mapi and Ingrid's answers so she went to talk to them.

“ Maria, Ingrid, I need to talk to you.” Demanded the captain. They complied and waited for her at the side of the pitch.

“ Where is Nena?” Asked mapi.

“ That's what I am here to talk to you about. She went home now. I just managed to calm her down but she isn't okay. She was crying and she said she wanted a transfer from this team. She also said something about a video the social media team posted. I didn't understand anything.” Mapi and Ingrid gave one another a look they both understood. They knew what troubled you and they felt bad for it.

“ Don't worry about it ale. We will make things right, I promise you.” Said Ingrid.

“So you did something wrong. You hurt her somehow” Alexia started to frown with anger.

“ Ale calm down, I will tell you everything just not now. Everything will be alright tomorrow.”

“Well it better fucking be or you will answer to me.” added the captain before leaving.

When you arrived home your head was pounding because of the crying so you headed straight to your bedroom, got under the covers and slept almost immediately, too tired to do anything else. You only woke up when your phone was buzzing under your pillow.

“ Hola” you answered without checking who is calling.

“ Hola Nena, I need you to open the door. We are standing outside.” Said a familiar voice.

You put your phone to the side and went straight to your door not realizing what you were doing.

Once you opened the door, your eyes opened wide, surprised at who was at your door. You stood there like a statue trying desperately to calm the voices in your head.

“Nena , please let us in, we need to talk to you.” said ingrid in the gentlest voice you ever heard.

You couldn't kick them out so you stepped aside and let them get in. By the time you got to the living room your heart was beating very fast, each breath was harder and harder and the walls around you started to close in on you. Mapi was the first one to notice so she came running towards you. She took your hand, guided you to the couch and started to construct you to take deep breaths.

“ I am gonna leave. Transfer window is in 2 weeks so the coach has enough time to secure a deal with a new team. Even if they dont we can fake an injury for the media and I can just stay home until the summer where we can look again for another deal. You don't have to worry about anything. I won't cause any problems i swear. . ” you say once you get your breath back.

“ nena why do you think anybody wants you to leave?” askes ingrid.

“ I know you think I am a creep, I understand that. I don't want to cause any problems within the team so I am leaving.” you try to say as calmly as you can.

“ nena we don't think you are creepy.” replied mapi. You look at them with confusion. What if you understood everything all wrong? what if you had jumped to false confusion? What if this was all a misunderstanding from you part?

“ You said in that video that I draw really well. I never showed you any of my drawings so that means that you saw them.” you try to piece everything together.

They both look at eachother hesitantly before ingrid starts talking.

“ The other day in the locker room you wanted to talk to the physio and left your ipad open, that's when I saw a drawing of myself and I zoomed out to see the full picture. I then accidentally swiped and saw that you drew a few portraits of me and mapi separately and together.” you knew that they saw the portraits, but hearing the words come out of ingrid’s mouth made the situation much worse for you. Those drawings were something sacred and intimate to you. You expressed your every thought through them. They were your safe space and they gave solace. But now they have changed into a nightmare that would force you to leave your favorite place in the world.

“ Did you see all of them?” your voice seemed to have shrunk and as you ask the question staring at the floor.

“ yes but we don't think it's creepy. We think it's beautiful that you drew us.” mapi didn't know what to say. She was afraid that she said the wrong thing and made the situation worse.

“ mapi you saw 79 portraits of you and your girlfriend on my ipad. Very detailed portraits of the two of you that I drew when I was near you in the meeting room or training or the dinner hall or even my own bedroom and you don't think that that’s a little bit sick.” you ask the question sarcastically.

“ No we don't. look we didn't come here to fight with you or reprimand you we….” you didn't let ingrid finish her sentence, you instead got up, grabbed your ipad and displayed the portraits for them.

“ You seriously don't think this portrait is creepy.” you show them a portrait you drew of them kissing. You weren't thinking of how embarrassing this moment was, you were trying to convince yourself that they hate you because it was better than the alternative. “ Look, I hate myself for this more than you could ever hate me. That's why I want to leave. I am not going to make you feel uncomfortable anymore. “

“ can you please just shut up for a moment. We don't hate you, we don't find you creepy, we liked what we saw, and we think you are very talented. Please don't turn this into something it's not. And please don't ask for a transfer.” mapi didn't mean for her words to come out like that but she couldn't stand seeing the hurt on your face.

“ Look what Maria means to say is that it's all good with us. You don't have to worry about anything and that we are sorry we brought it up in the first place.” ingrid then extended her arms and offered you a hug which you took. You hugged her and mapi again as they left your apartment. Once you found yourself alone in your house again you grabbed your ipad and smashed it to the ground cracking the screen. You left it there on the ground and went straight to bed.

While you slept soundly the couple were the ones that would stay awake late at night.

' you shouldn't have said it like that maria.’ reprimanded ingrid.

“ What did you want me to do? I couldn't just sit there and let her insult herself.” defended mapi.

“ I don't think we handled it right. We should have talked to her more.”

“ you have seen her when she closes herself off. You can't break through when she does that. Once she convinced herself with something you can't undo it. And now she convinced herself that we hate her which isn't true.”

“ We have to find a way to convince her otherwise. She can't leave.”

“ she won't, amor.”

The next day was travel day and you were the first on that bus. You sat in the front, put on your head phones and closed your eyes. The team knew from alexia not to bother you and alexia was informed by ingrid and mapi to let them handle your situation.

You didn't hear anybody get on the bus, you only realized what was happening when the bus started moving. You weren't bothered for the first 20 minutes of the ride but that didn't last long because somebody snatched an airpod from your ear.

“ No iPad today?” asked a smiling mapi who sat next to you . Ingrid sat in front of you.

“ No, I gave that up.”

“ It's a shame you were very good at it.” she responded.

“ Since when did you start drawing?” asked ingrid.

“ since I was a kid. My therapist used to encourage me to do it because I wasn't so good at expressing what i am feeling.”

“ and these drawings help you express your feelings?” you knew what ingrid was getting to and you didn't want to go there so you went for your phone to try and increase the volume of the airpod left in your ear but ingrid’s hand got to it first.

“ Yesterday we were scared that we would say the wrong thing. But today I would rather say the wrong thing than lose you nena.” what ingrid said shocked you.

“ So you were saying that drawing helps you express things right?” continues mapi.

“ yeah. I am not very good at words. I never was so I drew all the words I couldn't say. “

“ Do you have your ipad with you?” asked ingrid.

“ No, I don't have an ipad anymore i smashed it yesterday.”

“ why?”

“ because….” you were quickly interrupted by mapi “ don't you dare say it's creepy.”

A staff member interrupts your conversation by putting an envelope on the table.

“ room 1209, 3 beds like you asked.” she said looking at mapi.

“ What did you do?” you ask confused.

“ I am making sure you are not leaving.”

The bus stopped so you couldn't continue the conversation. You weren't left any room to protest the decision that was made for you as the couple were more stubborn than you are.

Once you got in the room you were hit with the reality that you were going to have to sleep in the same room as them.

“ mapi i can't stay here.”

“ why not?”

“ You know the reason why.”

“ No we dont.” said ingrid.

“ Please don't make me go through this. I promise I won't leave, just please don't make me.”

“ I don't understand why you are so upset right now. We are just going to share a room.

The couple knew that playing dumb would anger you enough that you would start talking. The melancholic look on their faces hit the nail on the head.

“ i cant be here because of the same reason i drew those fucking drawing.. I tried to get you out of my head by drawing you and fantasizing about you but i can't stay stop whatever i am feeling from coming out when i'm sleeping and you are cuddling next to me.”

“ Why would that bother you?” they continued to play on your built up anger.

“ It bothers me because I want to be in the middle of you. I want to be with you. That's why I drew you, that's why I fantasize about it and that's why I can't sleep here.” you weren't realizing what you were saying not until you said it and it hit you like a truck.

Suddenly , you see the couple moving two beds together, taking off their shoes, and laying on the bed. Ingrid then taps on the space between them calling you over.

“ you gotta be fucking kidding me?” you say.

“ We knew what you felt the day we saw you drawing but we thought we were just reaching or projecting our feelings towards you. Since yesterday we were trying to get you to admit your feelings so that we would do too but you kept on insulting yourself which was nice by the way so we resulted in playing dumb which clearly worked. “ said mapi.

“ We care about you, we don't want to lose you. We don't have to figure out everything right now so just come and lay with us please. “ added ingrid.

You were moving on autopilot when you took off your shoes and layed in the middle of the bed between them . you stared at ingrid’s eyes for long time before you moved or spoke.

“ Your eyes are so beautiful I could never capture them in a drawing.” you then look over at mapi “ and you smile i don't think i have never seen it up close. This is too much.” you try to get up but they stop you.

“ We don't have to do anything right now.” mapi handed you a notebook and a pen.

“ Why don't you draw this moment now.” you take the pen and the biggest smile spreads on your face as you get up, look at them, and start drawing as they admired you.

[pyjamacryptid]

so like, do you ever think about the similarities between Gwaine and Will (from Ealdor)? And their respective friendship with Merlin? Because, dude, I’ve been thinking about it all week.

These two would've been friends, I'm sure of it.

Gwaine makes the most iconic character introduction of the series, gets stabbed, continues to be a menace, and then he and Merlin bond over their fathers, and lack thereof.

Gwaine is cynical about nobility, especially Kings. As we know, his father was a knight who died in battle in Carleon’s name, and the King repaid his family with nothing.

Then you’ve got Will. Will - the most iconic man from Ealdor, which is a tall order when your mate’s Merlin, Mr “Greatest Sorcerer To Have Ever Walked The Earth” who is also from Ealdor. He greets Merlin like “your kind ain’t welcome here….. lol jk bring it in”, and then immediately squares up with Arthur, who’s kind - as far as Will is concerned - is definitely not welcome here.

Merlin reveals that Will’s issues with Arthur run deeper than how they first appear. Will, too, had a father that died in battle in service to, most likely, a King. The majority of it is inferred to the audience and we’re encouraged to make our own conclusions.

It’s very likely that Will and Gwaine share very similar backgrounds. I’m not sure that Will’s father was a knight, it’s more probable that he was a soldier of some kind and not of noble birth. Regardless of whatever rank he held, there’s overlap: a father was in service to a king, died in service to that king, that king left the family with nothing as thanks, and the son is left a cynic with no trust for people with fancy titles.

Another parallel is that in both 1x10 and 3x04, Will and Gwaine leave. For different reasons, of course. Will leaves because he refuses to fight for Arthur, a noble, and Gwaine leaves because he stood up to “nobles” bullying Merlin and was banished by Uther for it.

And then they both come back, to Merlin’s delight. Will comes back, risking his life, because it’s not about fighting for Arthur; it’s about fighting for Ealdor, his village, and to fight beside Merlin. Gwaine comes back, risking the consequences of his banishment, because he knew Arthur was in danger and Merlin likely would need some help.

But like, do you think Merlin, after Will’s death and since meeting Gwaine, sees these similarities between his two friends? Not just in experiences but personality? We only got one episode with Will, and we met him during a really desperate time, so the guy was probably stressed to the roots of his hair; and it was also after Merlin returned after moving away. So, Will - though happy to see him - was still cross after feeling abandoned. We didn’t get to see more of Will’s personality outside of that, but we know he was fiercely loyal, cynical, considered people’s lives worth more than material wealth or glory, outspoken and unafraid to tell a prince to fuck off, and one for banter (i.e. how he welcomed Merlin home).

Do you think Merlin saw Gwaine’s joking nature, his fierce loyalty, his criticisms of nobility and how he considered titles unimportant compared to who a person was on the inside, and thought of Will?

And, what if Merlin, late at night and lying in bed, thought that - if they’d ever gotten the chance to meet - Gwaine and Will would’ve been good friends.

…. anyway, that’s what’s plagued me for 6 days.

[owuwi]

NATALIE SCATORCCIO

summary: she can't be into you, so why not distance herself?

pairings: natalie scatorccio x fem!r

warnings: angst, a tiny bit suggestive, detailed description of throwing up, internalized homophobia from natalie

2.0k words

Natalie wasn't into girls. She wasn't opposed to fucking them but she wasn't romantically attracted to them. Or at least that's what she thought until she started seeing you in a different way.

You were the whole package; not only were you easy on the eyes but you actually cared about Natalie. That's why she immediately started to distance herself from you the moment she realized that she was starting to get too attached.

A bit of context here; you were Nat's person. You were the only one who she trusted enough to talk about every single shit that happened to her. You were always there for her no matter what and she even tried to 'return the favor' and be there for you — though it didn't always work but at least she tried —.

You protected her, you defended her and she — grumpily — allowed you to. She'd be lying if she said that it didn't make her feel good, that it didn't make her feel safe, but she simply wasn't ready to admit it. She wasn't someone easy to be around, let alone date, so she thought that avoiding you was her way of protecting you back.

Your friends and even Natalie's didn't understand why you were so persistent about her, why you tried so hard to show people that she wasn't a bitch or any of those terrible things they called her, but you weren't doing it for them, you were doing it for Nat. You needed her to stop being so harsh on herself. Your efforts didn't go unnoticed by the dirtyblonde-haired girl, in fact, it only made her like you even more.

She skipped school today which was something you were already used to, but you were worried about her thanks to the fact that she hasn't been calling you back nor meeting you at your spot — yeah, you and Natalie had a secret place where you would meet each other before school —. That's why you built every ounce of courage and decided to pay her a visit after your classes.

Natalie's house — trailer — wasn't unknown to you but you never actually walked there without her permission. She was always telling you when to show up or not, and it was always at times when she was completely alone. You were obviously aware of the issues she had with her family which is why you never visited her unless she told you to, and you prayed that this visit wouldn't get her in trouble.

You knew she was home alone by the sight of her sitting on the stairs of her trailer, a bunch of light-out cigarets and a pair of empty bottles — most likely of booze — scattered around the pavement. Seeing Natalie like this pained you more than she understood but you knew you needed to be strong for her, that's why you walked closer to her, ready to help her in any way possible.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Natalie, though, didn't seem happy by your presence at all. The slim girl immediately stood up after letting out those slurred words, her voice as rough and deep as always.

You knew she was just drunk and payed no attention to her sharp tone of voice, instead, you took a deep breath and approached her even more. There was an odd tension between the two of you; the air suddenly thickening around you, the sounds of the trailer park muffling as your feet moved towards the girl.

"I asked you a question." She spoke again, looking at you with a mix of confusion and discomfort in her gaze. The way she was staring at you was enough to send shivers down your spine, a look you've never received from Natalie before.

Making her mad was definitely not going to be a good thing, especially not when you were trying to get answers for her startled behavior. "I was worried.." Is all that managed to come out of your mouth, your voice sounding shaky and stuttered. It was obvious that Nat was drunk — you could now smell the alcohol on her breath due to how close she was —, hence is why you understood that she wasn't in her right mind.

The girl in front of you simply scoffed, a cold, raspy noise coming from the back of her throat and slipping past her cut-clad lips. You'd be lying if you said you've never thought about kissing them, about feeling them pressing against every inch of your body. Though right now wasn't the moment to be thinking about that stuff, it was almost as if Natalie could read your mind; her eyebrows furrowing slightly as she stares at you.

"Leave me alone, don't you understand that i don't want you close to me? Or are you so fucking stupid that you can't realize something as simple like that?" She quickly asked again, but you could see the way her bottom lip was slightly trembling while she looks at you.

"What's going on, Nat? Why are you acting like this?" You couldn't help but to ask your friend, shifting even closer to her, your words dripping with serious concern and affection — which was definitely not helping her with her mixed feelings —.

Natalie wanted nothing more but to yell at you, to punch you until you were a bloody mess on the pavement, but she couldn't. There was never a violent — hell, not even a negative — thought about you in her mind. For her, you were perfect; an angel sent from heaven to keep her safe. Despite how fuzzy her head was due to all the alcohol and cigarets she had, you were all she could think about.

That's why she grabbed the collar of your shirt and crashed her lips against yours, so roughly that you swore your lips were going to bruise. It was a quick kiss, though messy and filled with anger, it wasn't enjoyable. You couldn't even kiss her back, your hands hovering over her sides but not fully resting against them. What were you supposed to do? Natalie kissed you like some sort of rabid animal — grunts slipping past her lips — and you could taste the cigarets and licor she previously had.

She pulled away some moments later, allowing her forehead to rest against your own, and everything was quiet for some moments. "Because of you... why can't you fucking see that?" She rasped out, her eyes slowly fluttering open to look at you.

There was an evident hint of lust in the girl's gaze but there was something else; a hint of fear glimmering in her eyes. You knew she wasn't doing well yet you couldn't bring yourself to say anything, you were paralyzed — her taste still lingering in your tongue —.

"I can't do this shit... you know that.." She continued talking before closing her eyes and pushing you away — which caused you to stumble back a bit —, acting as if you were the one who kissed her. She then ran her fingers through her ruffled hair, clearly trying to hold back her emotions.

Despite still being quite in shock, you knew that you needed to say something before she dugs herself further into this messy hole. That's why, after taking a deep breath and really thinking about your words, you speak up; "Y-You're... too drunk. Let me help you, please.." You weakly muttered out, offering her a small, almost shy smile before gently reaching out to grab her hand.

Now, Natalie was definitely not a touchy person. She actually hated to be touched — always flinching whenever someone got too close — but you were different. You were you, and she would always allow you to do whatever you wanted with her — though she wouldn't say it out loud —. So seeing the way she roughly slaps your hand away and then takes a step backwards hurt you more than you thought it could.

"Don't—...." She trailed off, looking at you with parted lips for a moment before lightly shaking her head side-to-side and then turning around. She sat down on the edge of the stairs once again, resting the back of her head against the door of the trailer. "Don't touch me.." She managed to continue her sentence, looking up at you like a kicked puppy.

Her eyes were red and filled with un-shed tears, her body visibly shaking, and you knew that was going on in her head. She needed her person right now — she needed you — and you could tell. Even though she was going to complain, you simply sat down next to her and then let out a sigh. You couldn't look at her, you were confused. Did Nat liked you? Did she wanted to be something more than just friends? Or was it the booze in her system? Millions of thoughts were racing through your mind until the sound of her voice snapped you back into reality.

"My uh... m-my dad's gonna be here any time soon... you should leave.." She warned you, looking over at you through hooded eyes, a hint of concern hidden in her words. Despite everything, she still cared about you.

"I'm not leaving you... especially not when you're like this." You quickly protested before bitting down on your bottom lip. An idea crossed your mind, an idea drunken-Natalie wouldn't enjoy, and you knew it was the right thing to do. Before the dirtyblonde-haired girl could say anything, you spoke again.

"You should come with me, you're in no state to see your—... dad." You then added, your voice cracking with nervous and even hesitation. There was a glimpse of anger noticeable in the girl's eyes for a moment before she looked away from you, her face turning into a wince before she threw up on the pavement.

You immediately grabbed her hair and hold it up for her, using your free hand to slowly rub soothing circles on her back — the fabric of her t-shirt soaked in cold sweat —. Natalie Scatorccio was probably the most stubborn person you've ever met, yet you hoped that she would allow you to help her in this moment.

"Please, just—... make it stop.." She weakly stuttered out, not being able to stop the warm liquid slipping past her lips. Natalie liked the effect of being drunk but she absolutely despised the consequences; puking and then being hangover the next day. The way she was acting like a little kid was only breaking your heart even more.

"C'mon..." You simply indicated before helping her get up, ignoring the putrefying smell of her vomit. You've helped Natalie during moments like this plenty of times yet you never truly realized how messed up it was; how fucked up it was.

The drunk girl was literally shaking, her body seeming much smaller than it ever did, and she was weak. She would never admit it but she was weak; she was so weak that she could barely walk on her own. If it wasn't for you, she'd probably be passed out on the cold floor, waiting for the inevitable to happen.

The next hours were a blur for the two of you; you managed to get her into your car and drove her to your house. Your family were — thankfully — out of town so you had your house to yourself. Natalie was mumbling nonsense under her breath the whole time you helped her into your place, you assisted her with brushing her teeth and even bathed her. In another time, another moment, the pair of you would've joked about this; you probably would've crack a joke or two, but this was different. Nat was barely conscious and she wasn't herself.

After giving her some fresh clothes, you lied her on your bed and she immediately passed out.

It was until midnight where she roused and she couldn't help but to break, tears rolling down the pale skin of her cheeks like a cascade. You obviously woke up yet you didn't say anything, you simply wrapped your arms around her figure and she allowed you to — she was so weak for you —.

With her head on your chest, she eventually calmed down, her lips parting to mumble out some simple words. "I'm so—... so sorry.."

[maximumqueer]

Ok, so I got to (and past) ep. 26 of Witchlight, where Gideon is hit with a fey love curse which has him be head over heels in love with Kremy. And it just has me thinking about how vastly different the two of them reacted to being fey cursed to be in love with the other (though we all know they are in love without the fey curse) and what that says about them as people, as well as the way that they view relationships.

When Kremy was under the effects of the fey curse, he was dead set on making sure Gideon (or anybody really) did not find out about him being in love. He, for all intents and purposes, did not act all that differently that he would have other than being more outwardly jealous of the fact that Gideon was marrying other people. (Richie saying "I know" with that smug look in his face will live rent free in my mind forever). This says a lot about Kremy, and the way he views romantic (or even just more intimate) relationships. He is so full of shame and insecurity at the prospect of being in love of Gideon that it all has to be done through a false lens of irony. And I think that is because Kremy, at the end of the day, is a conniving conman. He views relationships as advantageous. He is so clearly afraid of vulnerably that, even when under the effect of a love curse, is still trying his best to not let on that he is in love. (I also think this points to him actually being in love with Gideon, as it does not completely alter his behavior). He needs to maintain control on his feelings in order to be in control of every situation he is in, so that he can exploit the people he needs to, as well as make himself as un-exploitable as possible. Obviously he is friends with Gideon, Gricko, and Frost, but I can't help but believe that the trust we see him have in them was built slowly over years. Just look at the way he views Torbek earlier on. And as such, admitting that the relationship he has with Gideon goes deeper, and is more intimate that just friends and business partners, is a (nearly) impossible task for Kremy, as he does not want to feel or be viewed as vulnerable.

With Gideon, the second he gets cursed, he immediately goes all in. He says that he loves Kremy, that he is happy they are married, and goes out of his way to touch him, be close to him, compliment him. Now, this is more distinctly different from how Gideon usually behaves around Kremy, but I don't necessarily think that means that his love is completely fake. I do think, however, that it means that Gideon is unaware of the full extent of his feelings when it comes to Kremy. Because, while it was said in a joking manner, I believe that there is some truth to the claim that Gideon has commitment issues. Not in the sense that he is or ever would be unfaithful in a more committed relationship, but rather that some wires got crossed in his head (thanks to the years and years of trauma from the fucking train) and that he now views being 'tied down' to one individual in a romantic sense in a similar way as being imprisoned. He wants freedom, he doesn't want to feel beholden to a single person. And obviously this is an unhealthy way to view relationships, as a healthy one will not make you feel like you are being caged. But this does not seem to be based off of experience for Gideon, as all of his 'romantic' exploits seem to have been causal hookups that may end in him getting shotgun married and then immediately cutting town, but nothing more. It is the concept of romantic commitment that Gideon does not like, not the actual act of commitment itself. Because he IS committed to Kremy, and he has no qualms with being 'tied down' to Kremy in this way. As such, he doesn't view his feelings as being anything other than platonic, as he expects romance to feel like a cage. Until he gets slapped with fey magic, and those feelings about commitment temporarily go away.

Basically this is a really long way of saying that I LOVE how Richie and Mace both decided to play their characters being (explicitly) in love with the other. It makes for beautiful (and very funny) character work and gives us, the audience, a bit more insight into the dumbass minds (affectionate) of Kremy and Gideon.

[nori-the-cat]

RIIZE Anton Lee’s Personality // Tarot Reading (Requested)

Remember, take tarot readings with a grain of salt!

I started Anton’s tarot reading by connecting with him. I pulled the 9 of Pentacles card, a positive sign. However, his energy felt cocky and standoffish, and I sensed that he might only be willing to connect if it benefits him. I decided to proceed with the tarot reading carefully.

I also pulled the Star card, indicating that he's open to and supportive of me doing a tarot reading about his personality. He lowkey wants people to know him, so I proceeded confidently with the reading.

First, I pulled 7 cards to see aspects of Anton’s personality. These cards tell us his personality in detail but not in depth. 

Cards pulled: 4 of Swords, 10 of Swords, 4 of Cups, 3 of Wands, Knight of Pentacles, The Chariot, and Ace of Wands

Anton comes across as a chill dude who values his alone time. He's been through some tough stuff but always bounces back. Even though he might feel a bit meh or disconnected sometimes, he's all about looking ahead and making plans. He's got a sharp mind and likes to take things one step at a time.

When it comes to hanging out, he's got a confident vibe and can steer the group vibe. Deep down, Anton's all about that creative energy that keeps him excited about new stuff and coming up with cool ideas.

The first tarot reading was pretty interesting. So, I also wanted to dig into his personality deeper. 

Cards pulled: Queen of Wands, The Tower, The Sun, 2 of Wands, and The Moon

Anton has a vibrant and warm personality, full of creativity and positive energy. He's naturally charming and brings good vibes wherever he goes. However, beneath this cheerful exterior, there's a more complex side to him. He's comfortable with change and enjoys shaking things up to create space for new possibilities. He’s also quite mysterious and introspective, guided by deep emotions and a strong intuition. Anton is always looking ahead, ambitious, and open to new opportunities.

As for his strengths, I pulled 3 of Swords, 4 of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles, and 7 of Wands. 

He's tough and learns from emotional pain, making him emotionally strong and perceptive. He's good at keeping things stable, both financially and personally. He's hardworking, reliable, patient, and committed to his goals. Lastly, he's brave and determined to stand up for himself and defend what he values, even when things get tough. Overall, he's a strong-willed, determined person with a solid sense of stability and a fierce protectiveness for what matters most.

For his weaknesses, I pulled 5 cards. The cards I pulled were 7 of Cups, 7 of Swords, 8 of Swords, 5 of Cups, and 6 of Pentacles.

Anton's got some stuff to work on. He's not the best at making decisions and keeping it real. Trust might be an issue for him, and he might feel a bit stuck in life. Plus, he tends to dwell on past mistakes, which can hold him back. Also, he might need to work on balancing how he interacts with others.

[mywitchyblog]

Can someone please explain to me who the hell is so upset with me that they’ve resorted to going into other shifters' ask boxes as an anonymous user and started bullying them in my name? It honestly baffles me that someone would stoop so low. If you have an issue with me or something I’ve said, be direct. I’m not one to hide behind anonymity or drag innocent people into something they have nothing to do with. If I had a problem with you, trust me, I’d say it to your face. I don’t need to hide in the shadows.

Now, there are only two possibilities for what’s going on here, and neither of them reflect well on the person responsible:

The first possibility is that this person is intentionally creating drama by sending themselves an anonymous ask. Maybe they’re looking for attention or trying to stir up conflict where there is none. It's sad, honestly, if that’s what’s happening because it just shows how far some people are willing to go to manufacture chaos.

The second possibility is that I’ve managed to piss someone off to the point where they’re now impersonating me, using my name to spread hate and start fights in spaces where I’m not even involved. If this is the case, I can’t say I’m surprised that someone would go this route rather than confront me directly, but it’s still frustrating. I don’t hide from criticism, and I won’t shy away from addressing issues head-on. But to use my identity in such a toxic way? That’s crossing a line.

To the person this happened to (I found out about this through a mutual, and I want you to know that I’m aware), I am truly sorry. I hate that this situation has dragged you into something you didn’t ask for, and I genuinely wish it hadn’t happened. But let me be absolutely clear: it wasn’t me. I did not send those messages, and I would never engage in that kind of behavior. It’s not how I handle things, and it’s certainly not how I treat others.

You are fully entitled to your own opinion, just like I’m entitled to mine. I’ve never denied that right to anyone, and I wouldn’t start now. We don’t have to agree on everything, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to attack you for your perspective or allow someone else to use my name to do so. That’s not how this works.

And just to set the record straight for the final time: I am not a pedophile, nor do I endorse, encourage, or support anything related to that disgusting behavior. It’s beyond insulting that I even have to keep repeating this, but here we are. In fact, I went out of my way to age myself up by a few years or to completely discard the DRs that felt problematic or uncomfortable. I’ve always been mindful of the spaces I navigate, especially when it comes to shifting, and I’ve made conscious decisions about what I’m comfortable with.

If you’re unhappy or confused about something I’ve said or done, talk to me like a human being. Bring it to me, and let’s figure it out. Don’t jump to conclusions or, worse, involve other people who aren’t even a part of the conversation. It’s cowardly and completely unnecessary. This whole thing could’ve been avoided with a little bit of maturity and honest communication.

At the end of the day, it’s honestly pathetic to bully other people just because they happen to have a different opinion than yours. Why are you so bothered by someone else’s perspective that you’d go out of your way to hurt them or cause unnecessary drama? We’re all individuals here, and our experiences with shifting, our journeys, and our beliefs are going to vary. No two people will see everything the same way, and that’s okay. It’s actually something to be embraced. What’s not okay is tearing each other down because of those differences. That only reflects poorly on you and shows how little respect you have for other people’s paths.

So, let’s try a little harder to be civil and respectful. You don’t have to agree with me, and I don’t have to agree with you, but at the very least, we can treat each other with decency.

[greenerteacups]

Hello GT, I absolutely love Lionheart!

I published my first fic and have been dealing with some criticism; it’s not anythjng super hateful, but it’s not anything meant to make me improve either. I’ve been feeling sort of down because of it. My question is: have you ever dealt with hate or criticism before? What is your attitude towards it?

I find your work and answers on here super insightful and inspiring! I hope you have a nice day ❤️

Fuck em. Like, seriously, just fuck em. There's a time and place for writers to take critique and be strict with themselves; it's necessary for any artist to grow. That place is with a chosen group of creatives whose work you admire and whose judgment you trust. A rando on the Internet, while they may in fact be the next Marcel Proust, probably isn't. And I was raised to believe that while it's appropriate and kind to pay compliments to strangers when they're performing — just as you'd smile at a busker on the sidewalk, and or compliment a chalk artist — it's not appropriate to criticize them when what they do isn't to your tastes. They're providing you with their art for free. No one forced you to read it; no one forced you to listen. If you don't like it, it costs $0 to shut the fuck up.

Also — that thing I said about artists taking critique? That assumes that you're doing this out of a desire to improve your writing, which, while noble, is not actually a thing you need to do if you're a hobby writer. I like trying to improve; it makes me feel good. But at the end of the day, I do this for fun. I do this because in my real job, I am ruthless and self-critical and try really fucking hard to do well, and you need parts of your life that Aren't Like that. You need parts of your life where you're not worrying about whether you're Doing It Right. And living without that anxiety of critique is, paradoxically, the only way you'll find the artistic courage to take risks and develop new skills. Everyone is a little bit rough around the edges to begin with. (Not saying you're a beginner — you merely said "publish," and I certainly wrote a lot of things before I started publishing! But every artist is always trying to develop new skills and techniques; in the grand scope of things, we're all beginners.) Giving someone blunt critique when they're in the beginning phases of their journey as an artist is about as helpful as screaming at your six-year-old kid because he can't swim the butterfly.

And the thing is, these people will bluster and say "well, I'm just being honest, I'm just trying to be helpful," but like: mmmmmmno, you're not! You're not. And it's disingenuous to say so. Because if you were actually trying to be helpful, you would introduce yourself, offer your skills as an editor/beta reader, and start building the relationship of trust that grounds any meaningful co-creative partnership. People do not just accept random critique that comes flying at them from the blue nowhere. And issuing it in that form is the best way to make them hostile, defensive, and unreceptive to it. Delivering harsh feedback without a context of care and support is almost sure to fail as a method of actually changing behavior, and either (1) you know that, and are doing it anyway — presumably because you want people to know how Terribly Clever and Better At Writing you are, or (2) you sincerely have never thought about the effect that context and word choice have on how other people receive your meaning.

Which tells me you are the last fucking person on the planet I want writing advice from.

[dav-suburbiia]

drdt ch2 ep14 spoilers

compiling some of my thoughts

god . fuck . the way Teruko’s “let go of me” was so soft and apprehensive as if she didn’t want to scare Eden further than she already was . I’M SICKKKK/pos

I still love Hu but yeah her insistence got a little much in this episode . thank you for everything girl but please . please take a break . that desperate smile as she begged Nico to let her defend them… she has some harrowing issues she needs to work out. I can’t wait to learn more!

david chiem secures his number one placement at the “top ten worst bisexuals” list /aff. god. I’m actually insane about him and Teruko’s foils it is everything to me. he wants Teruko to give into her nature so he can use her as a method to prove his worldview right- that every person is born with their permanent “nature” in their blood, and that it’s pointless trying to change that. he wants her to do what she’s always done, because that’s how he gets the advantage on her. that’s how he gets his satisfaction, when there’s nothing left to feasibly criticize about his words because he knows for sure he’s right. all he wants is for him, the man born to lie, to be proven without a shadow of a doubt that he is CORRECT.

but Teruko is not giving him that fulfillment. she knows he has a point, she knows he’s using her word against her, she is visibly affected by this “easy choice” he’s dangling in front of her. yet she doesn’t take his bait. she chooses to make room for a little bit of trust. not just to spite David, but also to make the trial more organized and efficient. she is working to fix her fatal mistake from earlier in the trial. and it’s fucking awesome.

Teruko as a character is just so engaging. she wants to find excuses for not trusting others, yet at the same time she also protects herself with excuses TOWARDS trusting others.

“I’m repaying your favor, and nothing else. That’s why I’ll trust you, just this once.”

she is so conflicted about what she wants. about what she THINKS she wants versus what is BEST. she wants to do the right thing, but she wants to be safe. I hope to see that grow and blossom as DRDT continues, because she is truly one of, if not, THE greatest fangan protagonist I know of

gah, and here comes the Ace culprit accusation. it may not be Huover after all… but, we’ll see where this goes. I think they’ll bring up Ace’s gloves (for the rope burn) and his strength (for getting the rope over the ceiling, which I assume was done with the starch ball…? he did have a chance to get the clothes, because he was a part of the redesign gang) when talking about his possibility as a culprit. either way, I look forward to what happens next!

good shit, DRDTDev. I’m loving everything about this. thank you for all you do . 🙏

[cyberclouddream]

How to Spot: Fire Signs Edition

Aries Rising

- they walk into the room like they own it—or should

- often physically active or fast (talking, moving, etc.)

- they’re prone to taking things personally or holding onto grievances

- expect them to indulge in something today and regret it tomorrow

- they have a short-attention span in communication

- grew up with loving or potentially overbearing caretakers

- flirtation is a performance that they expect to be celebrated for

- hate routines but are obsessed with doing things right; either they’re all in or completely neglectful

- they can love hard and fast, and be domineering in relationships

- they want passive or accommodating partners who let them take control

- they don’t stick with the same philosophy for long, and may seek meaning through extreme experiences

- complain about what it takes to succeed

- naturally drawn to positions of authority and management

- crave admiration for their individuality

- escape looking weak by distractions like work, arguments, or impulsive actions

- refuse to acknowledge their sensitivity, don’t like to admit when they’re struggling emotionally

Leo Rising

- walk around like they expect others to notice or admire them

- their sense of value is tied to how perfect or put-together they seem

- they always try to be the peacemaker but often steer conversations towards themselves

- they’re possessive and deeply emotional behind closed doors, often getting into power struggles at home

- had a childhood or family life with power struggles or deeply emotional experiences

- they love showing off their wild side and being seen as the “fun one”

- type to boast about how busy or disciplined they are

- relationships can be seen as unstable because they want to feel special but struggle with compromise

- tend to pretend they’re fine when they’re not because they don’t like dealing with the messiness of emotions

- natural talent for managing resources or strong interest in exploring the mysteries of life and death

- constantly planning the next adventure or proudly proclaiming their beliefs or views

- throw themselves recklessly into new cultures or ideologies

- seen as a inspirational figure who encourages others to expand their perspectives

- they like to pursue careers that let them indulge in luxury or at least appear wealthy

- often brag about their achievements

- they’re the social butterfly of the group, constantly jumping from one friend to the other

- constantly networking, making friends, or keeping things light

- deep down they fear rejection or not being loved for who they truly are, but deflect signs of weakness with arrogance

Sagittarius Rising

- often rambles about some new philosophy, trip, or project they’re working on

- practical and careful about how they handle money, even if they seem reckless in everything else

- they can be condescending towards those who think traditionally

- they can romanticize family dynamics or avoid facing emotional issues

- emotional needs weren’t fully validated, often feeling neglected or being over-sensitive

- they need to be fun, best, and most daring in everything they do fun, like dating or hobbies

- thrive on a solid routine for work and health, and prefer sticking to their habits than deviating

- they have commitment issues because they get easily bored or distracted, jumping when things get too predictable

- they can be secretively possessive and clingy underneath their free-spirited persona, when it comes to trust and intimacy

- they see themselves as worldy or enlightened, whether they’ve done the work to earn that title or not

- they put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed, even if they don’t admit it

- they’re often seen smoothing over conflicts or playing mediator, even if they don’t have strong convictions of their own

- they don’t like people probing into their inner world, so you’ll notice them deflecting or withdrawing when things get too personal

[betelgeuses-wife]

Hi there!! Could I request a sweet oneshot where the Reader cuddles with BJ, combing through his hair while he curls up with her? Romantic ship bordering on platonic would be lovely!! 🥰 thank you!!

If course! I'll do my best! I hope you like it. Please let me know feedback, it helps a lot!

-----

Creature Comforts

🪲🧃

-----

You weren't entirely sure what had gotten Bee in such a put-out mood but after this long, you refrained from trying to guess, it could've been for a number of reasons or just one, perhaps one that wouldn't seem much of a big deal to you but that was Bee for you. You were used to just giving him comfort when he asked for it because it wasn't too often when he wasn't his usual, theatrical self.

Adventures in Babysitting was playing on the TV while you both were on the couch, you were sat up with your legs resting on the footrest and Bee was laying with his head in your lap; a pillow under him. He seemed unusually quiet and you wondered what was on his mind, usually he'd have made some crude jokes about the lead actress by now. He'd have found a number of ways to try to make you laugh but it was radio silence on his end. With Bee's lack of personality showing, you were barely paying attention to the movie yourself but you weren't particularly in a bad mood, you just wanted to find a way to make Bee...well. Himself again. You knew people had their off days and you supposed ghosts did too.

You were running your fingers through his hair gently, not really even aware you were doing so until you caught a knot and heard Bee grumble.

A "Sorry...", whispered, slipped from your before pursed lips. Your gaze settling on Bee rather than the screen, now slightly more focused on gently getting the knot out without disturbing him more. Bee didn't often care about his appearance either, he'd rarely ask for help with his hair but he hadn't complained since he had come to rest his head in your lap about a half an hour ago. So, you figured he didn't hate it.

You'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought of snuggling up with him and taking advantage of the silence but in all honesty you wanted to just comfort him. There were a number of things that were left unspoken between the two of you, each of you held your own secrets about your dynamic. Perhaps denial was at play but at times, your flirtatious, playful moments you shared bordered closer to your feelings and wants for Bee than you'd care to admit. You stated you'd only let him be around so long as it was platonic and here you were questioning that.

"What's on ya mind, Sweets?" His gravelly voice pulled you from your thoughts. Perhaps your lack of detangling had earned his attention.

"I could ask you the same thing. You've been quiet too." Your eyes locked onto his as Bee had turned to look up at you.

"Just'a thinkin, s'all."

"Want to talk about it?"

"What. 'N' ruin your quiet time?"

"I'll take that as a no then. Want to cuddle...then?" Your voice softer, perhaps given the quiet, almost tender exchange of time you had shared over the last hour, it felt a little strange. Perhaps edging into romantic territory but you hid your thoughts as you felt Bee move to sit up.

"C'mere then" he offered as his arms hung open.

Your momentary worry about overstepping boundaries was washed away and you shifted over into his arms, sinking into his hold as he wrapped his arms around you tightly, giving you a quick squeeze. He wasn't warm but it was still comforting. You knew how to compensate for the cons of him being a ghost. The house was always made warmer in the evenings during the colder seasons so you didn't notice the coldness of his touch, a hot water bottle also helped too. But having a cold body body hug helped in the summer. A welcomed feeling when you started to overheat. You found ways to adapt to what were issues before. Perhaps the fact you had embraced ways to make living together work had been the reason he trusted you, and you loved seeing his reaction to your ideas, you saw how he had felt seen, properly seen after decades of people wanting to just get rid of him.

You could feel as he relaxed, glancing up to see his eyes now on the screen, perhaps whatever had been troubling him had settled, he seemed more content with you in his arms. Maybe that was just your mind looking into it too much though. You weren't willing to say anything was for certain.

"Like what ya see, Tootz?"

"Shut up, Juice."

"Whatcha gunna do? Make me?"

You rolled your eyes as you watched him raised his eyebrows a few times and winked. You swatted his chest and turned back to the TV. But you were still aware of his hand on your lower back, rubbing it confortingly in small motions, something you often had needed after a long day but you supposed he had gotten so used to it that he was doing it without realising.

You hadn't really realised it until that moment but you had both slotted into living together quite well, and had learnt how best to comfort each other, even without knowingly doing so. You had him to come home to and he knew you'd always come back or let him know if you weren't. You both gave each other someone to rely on, at a time you both needed it. Perhaps that was the blessing the people before you saw as a curse.

[natsunenuko]

TW // mental issues, mental absue, harassment, surgery/blood

I'm sorry this one is so long, but please carry on reading. It's a chance for me to not only speak about the situation but let out some steam too. It is unfortunate this announcement comes at the same time the flood occurs on the south of my home country (Poland) and I'm in the endangered zone, luckily so far safe, as I feel my head can't handle more stress.

It's been so long since I've been this personal online. I realized how I didn't feel the urge to vent for 3-4 years by now which is a sign of improving mental health. But my healing is still a process, and I'm afraid it's too hard to carry this rock alone at this point. I fought my thoughts if I should do this and I think just as deeply as I write right now. Yet, I know it's better late than never and I thank deeply my friends for helping me out recently as well as in the past in my lowest. I wholeheartedly owe my life to you.

I couldn't ask for better friends. As years verified, even long lasting relationships might be nothing but a mask and I had to learn the hard way. I ended a friendship of 13 years at the time over a misunderstanding. Other person I put my trust on was nothing but a groomer with morally corrupted sexual tendencies who would take advange of a group of minors while being the only adult among them, yet acting like a person much younger than all of them and pressuring all their mental issues on children instead of seeking help. The latter, I might speak of more in detail when I'm ready.

Long time ago I tried calling out for help but back then, the intrusive thoughts won; "Others have it worse, just work harder.", "No one will give you anything for free, no one will care.", "What people will think of you?". and I would only speak about these things in a closed circle of my friends.

I tried my best in silence by not giving up on my creative passion, working restlessly for years, improving. Hoping I could reach the point I can sustain myself purely on what I make.

But the problem is not being self-sufficient. And it's not about my art...

All of my life it has been me, my momma and my granny. The other two important figures weren't there for us, by choice. (which is hard to say if losing someone you loved is worse than not being cared for in the first place) My rather young self at the time didn't put much thought about it as I didn't understand it but something always felt wrong; my only issues at the time was being "that weird, quiet kid with little to no friends". But despite the hardships, my momma has always been my hero, working without a time for a break or rest so we could live happily, to afford something special from time to time.

However in 2014 my momma has been hospitalised and almost lost her life to wrongly treated ovarian cyst (cyst rapture), with enough blood loss to require emergency surgery...

From that point on things went downhill and the result of that we feel to this very day. To stay afloat we fell into a severe dept. (We didn't have any savings, could only rely on borrowing money or loans) And since I was a child as all of this happened, I've only learned about it all throughfully as I entered adulthood, so I wouldn't need to worry about anything and "just be a kid". Which I really understand, but it doesn't make it easier to handle.

And by now, for several years I keep on trying to earn money, so I could free my momma from this chain and let her live, not survive. I always wanted to get through this quietly, because I never, ever wanted to burden anyone with my home problems. But it grew to a point I might need to grab anything to climb towards the light

The goal is $10 000... which is scarily large number.

I list all the options but Kofi is preferred to keep track of the funds!

My commissions are HERE! (the sheet will receive a slight update in upcoming days) My Kofi is HERE! (Level 4 Tea is free headshot drawing every month!) HERE's other services I do (adopts, brushes, etc) I plan to do paid requests for my friday streams on occasion! Anything else I come up with I hope to include in here! Every person who donates will be part of "Thank you" list where I hope to shoutout everybody, cause every penny matters. I want this situation to end...

[what0smart]

Absolute Power:Superson thoughts!!!

Spoilers!!!!!!

As much as I would love to make an essay on this I don't think there's any way I could organize my thoughts enough for it to be good so I'm just gonna list out my thoughts on my favorite parts!

You can find my thoughts on the first 8 pages we got as previews here (page posting limit lol)

Nia understanding that while Jon often fights alone or for people, he desperately wants to fight alongside others or for them to fight for him.

This whole page is so great, I love the direct acknowledgement that Jon has been constantly fighting and all the times he had to fight alone. I will take the volcano and Ultraman where and whenever lol

Jon clearly has been suppressing his trauma and his constant fighting to make sure he doesn't lose anything like when he lost everything as a kid is clearly taking it's toll. Nia telling Jon he doesn't need to fight for everyone else constantly and it's okay to choose himself at times. This will come back in a conversation with Jay.

I am holding out having any feelings on this cause a large part of me refuses to believe DC would actually kill her, but if she is actually dead I'm gonna come back later and stare at this page in the saddest way possible.

He's so petty it kills me lmao

While it stresses me out to see them fight I love seeing them work through it, and it really shows the differences between them especially as this whole event has probably had a major impact on Jay in a negative way.

Jon realizing that he was trying to save the idea or memory of Nia over his Boyfriend after everything that's happened and deciding to prioritize what he wants, which is Jay. (more thoughts on this page at the end lol)

I think the Amazonians asking Jon for help was kind of a reminder to Jay of who Jon is at his core. Similarly to how Jon understood he probably can't dissuade Jay from hating Nia, I think Jay was reminded that Jon is just a forgiving and loving person, it is what drew Jay to Jon in the first place and that he shouldn't expect him to have the same reaction he has to Nia's death. I think Jay was going to say yes no matter what after this realization but I feel he normally would have thought about it more but decided to take that risk and give Jon a yes so he wouldn't be worried about it while in battle, you can see Jon flies away with a much more ready attitude.

Jon's "new place" is in his dreams, I had a worry Jon was just offering to live together with Jay because he thought it's what Jay would want but the fact that this is here means he has been dreaming of living in San Francisco for a while now, and the fact that Jay not being there destroying the dream really hits it home that being with Jay is what he wants. This is not Jon trying to make sure everyone in his life is happy at the cost of his own, this is Jon listening to what Nia told him to do and is choosing himself by following his dreams.

Final thoughts

Overall I really loved this issue and it really hit my expectations. It was very tough to follow at times but that's typical of dream sequences and this issue did it well, can't wait to see how Absolute Power ends and if Amanda will FINALLY face the consequences for her actions. I'll be holding out my comments on Nia until we know for certain she's dead, Nicole loves tormenting her characters so I wouldn't be surprised but I think she would also love to continue the beef between her and Jay. I'm extremely interested and hope Nicole or Sina do something in the future for Jay and Jon because right now they are probably the people at DC who I trust the most with the boys!!!

[slaymitchabernathy]

All in the Timing

It's later that day when Coriolanus is walking down the busy Capitol streets. Everyone is out shopping for last-minute gifts and he can't help but look into a few shop windows, admiring the pretty dresses and bags that are on display for the women. He wonders what it would be like to purchase something like that for his wife, for someone he loves. 

He's passing by the door to one of the shops when someone bumps into him.

"Oh, pardon me, I didn't look where I was going." 

Coriolanus almost falls over when he hears the soft, familiar voice that belongs to one woman and one woman only. 

He looks down to find Soarynn Nightingale looking up at him, her blue-gray eyes wide in surprise. She's bundled up in a cream-colored coat today, with her hair pulled into a bun, showing off her beautiful complexion. 

"No need to apologize, you're a rather enjoyable person to keep running into," he says, making her blush. 

"Well, it seems to be a recurring issue where we're both concerned." 

Coriolanus grins and looks down at the large bags she's holding, filled to the brim with clothes no doubt, "Allow me to carry those for you." 

Soarynn looks conflicted for a moment, as if she doesn't quite trust him and she'd have every right to not trust him. He's still a stranger. 

"Alright," she finally decides, handing over the bags, "you're very kind to offer up your services." Coriolanus chuckles as they begin walking down the sidewalk, side by side but not hand in hand. 

The scent of vanilla overwhelms him and he can only guess that it's her signature scent. It's as sweet as she is. 

"Busy day today?" He asks, lifting up the bags. Soarynn nods, fixing the collar of her coat before answering, "Last minute shopping for the company's holiday party." 

Well, it looks like he didn't need to pay Festus to fall onto the floor and act as if he was dying. 

Coriolanus pretends to be surprised, "Oh, you're going as well? Perhaps we'll see each other then." 

Soarynn raises her eyebrows, shyly looking up at him, "Maybe we will. Although Ceraphina won't be there, she's stuck with the nanny for the night." 

Coriolanus can imagine that Ceraphina's not too happy about being stuck at him instead of being the center of attention. "Is she at home right now?" He asks, trying to remember if she's old enough to be attending school yet.

Soarynn shakes her head and nods for him to take a right, "No, she's at school. I'm actually headed there now to pick her up."

"Which school is she attending?"

"The Academy." 

That sounds about right. Coriolanus attended the Academy, along with every upper-class child in the Capitol. To sport the Academy rouge is a sign of wealth. It's no surprise that Ceraphina is attending as well. 

"I do hope it's not too out of your way," Soarynn adds, eyeing the bags as if she might take them back and send him on his way. Coriolanus quickly shakes his head and offers her a reassuring smile, "Not at all, I'm headed downtown to meet a friend for a late lunch." 

Soarynn hums, chewing on her lip before asking a question, "Is it your friend I saw with you that night at the Grand Oak?" 

He didn't know she remembered Fetus but it seems that Soarynn Nightingale is more perceptive than he thought. "Yes," he confirms, the Academy building coming into view, "Festus can never turn down a free meal." Soarynn chuckles, reaching into her coat pocket and pulling out a silver compact with a rose engraved on it, "A free meal is a hard thing to decline."

They come to a stop at the crosswalk, traffic zooming by them and Coriolanus takes a moment to watch Soarynn as she inspects her reflection in the compact mirror. She looks stunning. He wonders what other people think of them right now.Do they see a young couple on their way to pick up their child from school?

Ceraphina could certainly pass as his daughter, with her blonde hair and blue eyes. 

"That's a lovely compact," he says, "my mother used to have one just like it." 

Soarynn snaps it shut, giving him a better view of the rose, "Thank you. It was a birthday gift from my father. Was your mother fond of roses? I think I heard something about the Snow family and their roses."

Coriolanus nods, making sure to block any traffic from hitting her as they cross the street, "Yes, my grandmother used to grow roses on the roof of our penthouse apartment. They fetched a pretty price before the war. Now I just tend to them as needed." 

Soarynn sighs, staring up at the blue sky, "Ceraphina would love something like that. She's always running around in the backyard, rain or shine." 

There's lots of commotion surrounding the Academy, older children walking home by themselves and younger children running to hug their parents after a long day of school. "Does she have much longer until the holiday break?" 

Soarynn shakes her head while scanning the sea of students, all dressed identically to one another. "No, this is her last week when then they're all off until January." 

Coriolanus begins looking for Ceraphina too, trying to pick out her blonde head of hair. It's hard when all the girls wear the same skirt and button-up shirt but he finally spots her at the top of the steps. "There she is," he points, crouching down so Soarynn can follow his line of sight. She leans into him without hesitation, lighting up when she spots her daughter. 

Ceraphina is quick to spot them too, a big smile on her face when she sees Coriolanus, "Fancy seeing you here," she says, throwing her arms around her mother's legs. Coriolanus smiles, watching Soarynn crouch down to properly hug her daughter, she's so gentle, brushing her hair out of her face, asking how her day was. 

"It seems that the stars aligned today," he replies, "I just happened to bump into your mother." 

Ceraphina eyes her mother for a moment, a small smile on her face, "Sounds like a love story to me Mommy." Soarynn scoffs, her entire face turning a bright shade of pink, "Oh hush. This is nothing like the fairy tales I read to you. Now say goodbye to Mr. Snow so we can go home." 

Coriolanus frowns, just a minute ago Soarynn was warming up to him and now she's shoving him away. Ceraphina pouts but Soarynn is firm in her decision, "I can call my driver if you two need a ride home," Coriolanus offers, handing over the bags to Soarynn. Ceraphina peers inside, gasping when she sees what's inside, "No need, we have our car waiting for us over there," Soarynn says, pointing near the the other end of the steps. 

They do in fact have a car waiting for them and Coriolanus can only nod, out of tricks and offers. "Well, it was lovely seeing you ladies again." 

Ceraphina smiles up at him, looking so cute in her tiny uniform, "Are you gonna see us again soon?" 

Coriolanus gives her a wink, "I'll try my best." 

Ceraphina giggles, looking up at her mother who doesn't look too impressed, "Have a good afternoon Mr. Snow," she says, taking Ceraphina's hand, "and thank you for carrying my bags." 

He gives her a short bow at the waist, only furthering Ceraphina's giggles, "It was my pleasure Ms. Nightingale." 

He watches them go, making sure they're tucked away in the safety of their car before he begins his own journey. He tries to think about anything else, about work, about his friends, but he keeps thinking about Soarynn. 

Running into her again has to be fate. He's just got to take that chance. 

꧁ ꧂

"Oh Coryo, you look so handsome." 

Coriolanus grins at Persephone's words as he climbs the last few steps leading up to Heavensbee Hall. Festus and Persephone make an attractive pair for tonight's party, both dressed in dark greens that compliment their complexions. 

Festus wraps his arm around his wife, giving her a playful smile, "Keep your eyes on me tonight darling, Coriolanus is on the hunt for his future wife." 

Persephone gasps, her eyes going wide with excitement, "Really?! Oh, how exciting! Who is she? Do I know her?" 

Coriolanus shakes his head, following the couple into the building that has been decorated to the fullest for the holidays with drapes and garlands, twinkling lights, and bows. "I'm not hunting for anything," he reminds Festus, "I'm simply doing some recon." 

Festus snorts, grabbing two glasses of champagne from a nearby waiter, "Well I've never seen someone put in so much work for 'recon' but maybe it's just your ambition talking." 

Coriolanus feels a bit caught but he won't feel ashamed for how much effort he's put into this. He cleaned up exceptionally well for tonight, making sure his curls were perfectly styled, his face freshly shaven and his suit brand new. He looks important and he feels important. 

He's a man on a mission. 

He scans the room, desperate to seek out one individual and his eyes finally land on her. Soarynn Nightingale is an absolute vision tonight, dressed in a long red dress, form-fitting in all the right places, and strapless on top of that. Her blonde hair cascades down her back, perfectly curled. 

She's standing with her father who's speaking with several other men, probably talking business. Even though tonight is supposed to be relaxed, men can't help but talk about work. 

"I'll be back," he mumbles to his friends, his legs taking him across the floor for him. Many people are already dancing while the orchestra plays a happy tune and he's got to find out if Soarynn can dance. 

She looks bored out of her mind right now, idly standing by her father's side. Her eyes meet his for a moment and she visibly lights up which gives him the green light to approach her. If he weren't interested in her then he'd greet her father and the other men first, but they all disappear from view when he sees her.

"I must say, you look absolutely beautiful tonight," he tells her, gently taking her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. He's not holding back on that famous Snow charm tonight. 

Soarynn grins, looking him up and down before giving him an approving nod, "I must say, you clean up nicely Mr. Snow." His last name rolls off her tongue so effortlessly and he longs to give it to her. 

Coriolanus smiles down at her, admiring how long her lashes are, how soft her lips look, and how good she smells. "I had to clean up once I knew you'd be here," he replies smoothly, "and your father too," he adds, reaching his hand out to Glen. 

Soarynn's father seems more than pleased at their interaction and gives his hand a firm shake, "No need to impress me Coriolanus, I'm far less high maintenance than my daughter is." They all chuckle when Soarynn gives her father a playful shove, "One can never be too careful," Coriolanus decides. 

Glen turns to the other men he was speaking to, all men who look very important which means they probably write lots of paychecks. "Gentlemen, let me introduce you to Coriolanus Snow, he works at the firm." 

Coriolanus hadn't planned on being introduced to the higher-ups but he's more than glad to leave a lasting impression, "A pleasure to meet all of you," he says, nodding at each man. 

"You're Crassus Snow's boy aren't you?" One of them asks, sporting a very large mustache. Coriolanus nods, "Yes sir, I'm doing my best to follow in his footsteps." 

"Well I'd say you're doing more than that," Glen tells him, giving his shoulder a pat. 

Coriolanus looks back down at Soarynn for a moment, not wanting to ignore her and she's already looking up at him, and she looks...impressed. 

"Thank you, sir," Coriolanus says, not willing to let such a compliment go to waste. His whole life he's been trying to live up to the Snow name. Glen eyes his daughter for a second, a small smile growing on his face, "Yes. Well, don't let us stop you two from enjoying your night." 

Soarynn's eyes slightly widen but Coriolanus won't let this moment go to waste, "Do you dance?" He asks her, hoping she'll say yes. 

She brushes her hair behind her ears, giving him a small nod, "I do." 

"Allow me the honor to dance with you then?" 

Soarynn looks at her father, almost as if waiting for permission but all she gets in return is an amused look from Glen, "Alright," she finally says. 

Coriolanus offers her his hand and she takes it, instantly warming his skin. It's just his luck that the orchestra strikes up a lively tune, allowing them to fall into a waltz. Coriolanus slips one hand around her waist, guiding them through the steps and she keeps up with him tremendously well. 

Soarynn giggles when he spins her around and it's music to his ears. He wants to make her giggle all the time. 

It feels so right to have her in his arms, by his side, safe and sound. He doesn't know what Soarynn is looking for, but he'd take such good care of her and Ceraphina. 

Once the music comes to an end they're both out of breath and he's ready for a drink. "Would you like something to drink?" He asks, sliding his hand down to the small of her waist. Soarynn doesn't even blink at that movement, simply nodding, "Yes, dancing always leaves me parched." 

They both walk over to the bar where Coriolanus orders bourbon for him and champagne for Soarynn. "You don't like bourbon?" He asks, wondering if she has a preference. Soarynn shakes her head, "I'm partial to anything sweet, and bourbon is not sweet." Coriolanus chuckles, handing her the glass of bubbly champagne, "You just haven't been drinking the right bourbon. I'll have to show you my collection." 

Soarynn takes a sip of her champagne, humming contentedly, "Why am I not surprised that you have a collection?" 

Coriolanus takes his glass from the bartender, thanking the man before turning back to Soarynn, "It's actually a rite of passage for a man to start some collection of alcohol. Festus collects wine, and I collect bourbon. I bet your father has quite the collection at home." 

Soarynn rolls her eyes, taking another sip. The drink must be loosening her up because she's much more comfortable around him now, almost leaning into his touch, "My father has collections for everything. Books, photographs, drinks. It never ends."

 

Coriolanus wonders where they live, he's never seen them on the Corso and that's where all the rich families live. "What street are you on?"

"Cornelia Street." 

Coriolanus almost chokes on his drink, she's only a block away and he never knew it. Cornelia Street is known for its gorgeous townhouses with private backyards and spacious rooms. Most Capitolites live in apartments but the few who can afford it live in townhouses. It's not surprising that Glen Nightingale resides on such a prominent street. 

"I'm on the Corso," he tells her. Soarynn grins, tilting her head, "Really? I would've never thought," she teases. 

More and more people spill into the Hall, the party getting even louder making it more difficult to hear her, "Do you want to go somewhere more quiet?" He asks, hoping for a more intimate space to talk. Soarynn furrows her brows and glances over at her father who's wrapped up in several conversations. 

Coriolanus leans down so that his lips are right next to her ear, "You're in good hands I promise." 

Soarynn bites her lip, weighing her options in her head before she finally nods, "Alright." 

꧁ ꧂

The air is cold but it feels wonderful after being cooped up in a room with so many people. Soarynn sighs, tilting her head back as they walk out onto the balcony, "Much better than inside," she decides, looking at him from over her shoulder. 

Coriolanus smiles, admiring her dress again, how it's the perfect shade of red, how it's just the right length. It's only missing a rose or two. Her shoulders are already covered in goosebumps so he doesn't hesitate to shrug off his suit jacket, "Here, don't want you to catch a cold out here." 

Soarynn looks so genuinely surprised when he covers her shoulder with his jacket, and it makes him wonder if Felix ever offered her his coat. He barely spoke to Felix but he does recall him mentioning a girl he was courting every once in a while. It sounded like a business agreement more than a relationship to Coriolanus who was happy being free as a bird. 

"Thank you," she says softly. 

They both stare out into the open sky for a while, enjoying the silence. "You know I almost didn't come tonight," she says, breaking the silence. Coriolanus looks down at her, but she keeps staring straight ahead, "Why not?"

Soarynn shrugs, "Not really my scene. My father practically bribed me into agreeing to come in the first place. I always feel terrible when I have to leave Ceraphina behind." 

Coriolanus can't recall a single time when Soarynn hasn't been without Ceraphina since he met them. "You two are inseparable," he decides, "she's very lucky to have you." 

Soarynn softly chuckles, shaking her head, "I'm the lucky one. She's my biggest blessing, I don't know what I'd do or where I'd be without her." 

Coriolanus wants to ask her about Felix, about the accident and how it all happened but...he doesn't. He prefers her company over finding out her secrets. 

"She's very close with you," he observes, "and she looks just like you."

Soarynn nods, picking at her cuticles, "Well she doesn't really have a choice." 

Coriolanus swallows, leaning against the balcony railing so that they're almost at eye level, "Her father isn't around anymore?" He carefully asks, not wanting to pry but if she's willing to talk about it, he's more than happy to listen. He has a feeling that she doesn't have a lot of people to talk to about all of this.

"Her father is dead." 

Coriolanus watches her face carefully for any signs of tears but he finds none, only the hardened face of an independent woman who's raised an amazing little girl on her own. "He died before Ceraphina was born," Soarynn continues, picking at her skin even more and Coriolanus reaches out to take her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. 

For a second he worries that he crossed the line but Soarynn only squeezes his hand tighter, "It was a car crash, no one saw it coming. Especially not me since I was newly pregnant. I didn't even go to the funeral which only led his parents to hate me even more." 

Coriolanus rubs his thumb across the back of her hand, back and forth, "Her father was Felix Ravenstill wasn't he?" 

Soarynn nods, her eyes trained on their intertwined hands, "His mother called me a slut when we found out I was pregnant, even though it was her son who pressured me into having sex with him, no protection of course because he's always been so good at pulling out. Turns out he wasn't." Soarynn gives him a bitter smile and Coriolanus can feel his heart break for her. 

"You didn't deserve that," he tells her, "he shouldn't have pressured you and she had no right calling you a slut." 

Soarynn sighs, her shoulders sagging, "Doesn't matter. Felix is dead, he honestly got off easier than I did. I was terrified to tell my father but he's been my biggest supporter, making sure Ceraphina and I have everything we could ever need. He thought Felix would take care of me but he always wanted to just help himself and fuck around without getting in trouble." 

Coriolanus wishes Felix were still here so he could give him a piece of his mind. How could he hurt a girl as sweet as Soarynn?

"Felix was selfish," Coriolanus says slowly, not wanting to say the wrong thing about a very sensitive topic, "but he left you with something irreplaceable. Something that only you could make because when I look at Ceraphina, it's like I'm looking at you Soarynn."

She sniffles, quickly wiping away a stray tear from her cheek, "You don't even know me. You don't even know me and yet my daughter keeps asking about you and I find myself feeling completely safe in your presence."

Her words make his heart beat faster, it almost breaks out of his chest. "Well you two make it easy," he jokes, "you're both so sweet, and it's hard not to fall in love with Ceraphina's personality."

Soarynn laughs, nodding along with him, "I don't know where she came from," she admits, "I feel like she's nothing like me sometimes. So sweet and outgoing, so confident and brave. She's got a million friends at school and I don't have a single one right now. Without her, I would've never found you."

Coriolanus gently cups her face with his hand, her words striking something within him that he never knew existed. Soarynn looks up at him and he can see so many things in her dazzling eyes.

Uncertainty, nervousness, hopefulness, and maybe, just maybe some love.

"I think I've been looking for you my entire life," he admits, "and if you'll let me, I'd like to be there for you, be by your side, support you and every dream you've ever had. Let me take care of you Soarynn, I promise I'll be a better man than Felix."

Soarynn draws in a shaky breath like she doesn't believe him, "I have a daughter," she reminds him, "you won't get one without the other. Where I go, Ceraphina goes as well. That's probably why I haven't had much luck in finding a partner," she mumbles the last part but he won't have any of it.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he assures her, "I plan on taking care of both of you and if I ever falter, you have permission to drag me and my name through the streets."

Soarynn's lips turn up into a soft smile, "I don't understand where you came from. It feels like this happened out of nowhere and I'm still waiting for an explanation."

Coriolanus rests his forehead against hers, leaving them mere inches apart.

"It's all in the timing."

| Part 2. | Final Part |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

[oscconfessions]

you know, i kinda wished more people took into account that maybe OJ (ii) is autistic and not really something like NPD? it feels a bit wrong to say he is that by the writing of the show? there's nothing wrong with headcanoning him as such though. (as i know it's a personal comfort for people!) maybe im a bit biased, but as someone who's autistic, i tend to see a lot of oj's traits and behaviors being stuff i've done before. (miscommunicating, unable to handle sheer amounts of social stressors, cleanliness/over-cleanliness, etc...) and yes. autistic people can come off as selfish/mean/etc. it happens to me all the time without me even trying sometimes. :/ i know his writing in season 1 was even supposed to be "the quiet normal one" and then he got a chance to be in the spotlight more, but even in seasons as late as three he still struggles with the same traits he's had since season 1. (he even says to paper in season 1 that he's not able to trust anyone because his past connections fell apart due to the nature of the competition and he seemed really genuinely happy that paper wanted to be his ally/friend) he even went out of his way to apologize to pickle when he said something he knew he was wrong, so he tried to amend the issue as soon as possible! and he even went out of his way to help paper when he was struggling with the evil paper stuff. i know a lot of people disregard season 1 for writing, but i feel his season 1 time is a huge part of why he's the way he is in season 2 and onward. yeah he won the show, but he HATES the spotlight. he doesn't revel in it. when he was the host temporarily in season 2 he did a really horrible job at it and that's because of the pressure placed on him. (he even talks about how the show puts a pressure on people. if anything his conversation with balloon came from an extremely personal perspective: his own!) he wasn't trying to push balloon away in a negative way he just didn't want the same to happen to him too! i just don't think saying he's selfish and self-centered is right. i wish there was more headcanons that focused on him being autistic because he very much reads this way to me and not necessarily NPD. it's just an extreme disservice to his character to me. he's not "self-centered/selfish" he just doesn't know how to express himself without using a high social status that his peers know him well for. that's much more in line with an autistic trait imo.

.

[t-lostinworlds]

This is such a random train of thought but I came across a comment on a fanfic saying something along the lines of "people don't usually change" / "forgiving them is unrealistic" / "your character is pathetic for giving in" and while valid in some, if not, most cases, thinking that it applies to everyone and everything all the time seems like such an unhealthy mindset to have. In my opinion at least.

Don't get me wrong, I hate it when forgiveness is served on a silver platter where the person apologizes once and then all is suddenly forgiven. But if the person provided an explanation all while not passing it as an excuse, took full accountability of their actions, truly apologized and showed regrets, and then took the time to better themselves, worked hard to improve and then continuously show that they're a much better person now and had grown after years. Is giving a second chance really that criminal? Especially when forgiveness isn't even given right after that and it's still a slow and steady journey of building that trust where everyone's starting on a clean slate rather than jumping right where they left off.

I don't know, maybe this is just me always trying see the good in people, but if you really don't think that a person has the ability to grow and learn from their mistakes, (which everyone will make often) all while constantly showing and proving that they have grown and learn, then that's a bleak way to see things. It's just a sad way of thinking that just because a person made a mistake (obviously depending on the mistake), they're forever branded as a bad person.

It's like, needing people to be perfect and wise right off that bat, putting them on a pedestal where you think they won't ever make mistakes and once they inevitably do, suddenly they're never going to change and learn from it and they're always going to be a horrible person. And that just seems so…toxic.

Obviously, things are much, MUCH more complicated in reality. Some people never do change, some don't deserve forgiveness at all, and some are genuinely just horrible and vile human beings who deserve to rot. But thinking that everyone is like that?

Just, not everything is so black and white you know? Sometimes things are just various shades of grays. Humans are messy and complicated as fuck but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

[respectthepetty]

Kang's Trust Issues

All roads lead to my wild ass theory

Kang's dad told him that dogs must be punished to be controlled.

Both times Sailom has unknowingly approached the subject of Kang's dad, it has allowed Kang to be honest about his failing relationship with his father.

Yet Kang immediately stops himself and deflects.

Almost as if he was trained to belittle what he is saying, so someone else doesn't have to.

Because Kang's dad trained him to not trust himself.

And Sailom has fed into that.

Kang doesn't believe in anything, so Sailom gave him something to believe in - Sailom himself, but with that, Sailom also gave Kang someone he could trust since he can't trust himself.

So even though Kang is going about his relationship with his tutor in the queerest and most dominant way possible, he doesn't believe they are friends, so he wouldn't even be able to imagine he loves Sailom.

Because what Kang's dad really trained him to do was to lie to himself.

But he knows he can trust Sailom.

Because Sailom never lies.

And Sailom only acknowledges Kang when he is being honest.

Sailom has never eaten expensive steak. Sailom has never played with VR. Sailom likes free shit. Sailom got Kang's birthday cake from Kang's own fridge. Sailom was at that restaurant with a client. Sailom gets beaten up by debt collectors. Sailom told Kanghan all of this without hesitation. He never lies to Kanghan.

So how would Kang react if he thinks Sailom is lying to him?

Like . . . hypothetically helping his brother plan to rob Kang's house while he is out with Kang?

Especially if Kang, a boy who can't trust himself, trusts Sailom completely and starts to trust his feelings for him. How would a boy who has been tamed like a dog react?

And now it makes sense why Kang is not a boy of words, thoughts, or feelings, but actions. Kang has trust issues with himself. This is why he likes Sailom's approval because unlike his father who spins his desires into a negative (you don't want to do it), Sailom makes him feel positive (you can do it).

But it also shows why Kanghan's reactions are so out-of-control with Sailom (aggressive) compared to his reactions with his father (passive). With his dad, if Kang doesn't have options, he doesn't have to think, and if Kang doesn't think for himself, he can't act. But with Sailom . . .

Kang's trust in his father is based on control. His father made a deal with him only to break it. His father got Kang a motorcycle that he picked out for him. His father expects Kang to take over the family business. His father isn't controlling, but he doesn't need to be when he is already in control of Kang's future unlike Sailom who puts no pressure on Kang to pass his tests even though his job depended on it. Sailom trusts Kang will make the best decision for himself. Just like with his brother, Sailom has faith Kang will do the right thing.

So, once again, when Saifah breaks into Kang's house, will Kang trust the boy who never lies to him? Will Kang trust his tutor who demands honesty of him? Will Kang trust the friend who keeps his promises? And, more importantly, will Kang trust himself enough to know that he is more than dollar signs to Sailom?

Or will he lie to himself like he was trained to do?

Blue Boys are known for their honesty and trustworthiness.

So I have faith that he'll know the truth in his heart.

Don't disappoint me, kid.