#and this is coming from a person with trust issues

[op-sys-chaos]

“How long do you think it’d take them to realize” oh at least a few months. They start getting closer in all of their identities, and the polyamory thing is going well, but both Bruce and Clark are struggling a bit to remember who said what in which identity.

It all becomes clear when Bruce says “remember, I told you [insert thing here] last week?” and Superman goes “…no. But Batman said that.”

Bruce panics and doesn’t know what to say, but Superman is also spiraling a bit because the three people he’s been publicly dating are himself and two versions of this one guy. He ends up just straight up telling Bruce his identity back, and now Bruce is having the exact same realization.

After some tense “we were both lying to each other” moments of ironing out their trust issues that comes from that, they end up deciding to still publicly be polyamorous, even if they know they’re both just dating each other. They only go out publicly in matching identities (ex both super or both civilian), and when asked about it, Bruce and Clark both tell people “being out in public as a civilian with your superhero partner - either one of them - is extremely dangerous. But we’re definitely still dating” and leave it at that.

The plus side of this whole hilarious situation is that they both know they’re polyamorous now. So when Lois Lane comes along, they have no issue adding her into the polycule with her dating the Metropolis pair. It’s easy as pie. The same thing applies with Selina Kyle and Catwoman and Bruce and Batman. The polycule’s gotten messier - it’s now a four-person-but-publicly-seven-person polycule. But it still works for them and still keeps identities under wraps.

(If you want to write this, please PLEASE tag me I’d love to see it. And honestly, it doesn’t even have to be Lois and Selina (or it could be them plus extra people). Feel free to add whoever you want to the Secret Identity Disaster Polycule 😂)

Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."

why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.

a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?

[sparrows4bats]

Dick Grayson is the victim of his own choices when it comes to Jondami. Aka Dick sets up Jondami, this time on purpose, but quickly regrets it.

Damian grew up to be a beautiful, kind young man, and Dick can't be prouder of him.

When he left Robin to be a doctor Dick had his feelings about it (ie hes growing up so fast! Make it stop!) but respected Damians' choice and gave as much support as possible as he went to med school and started his internship and residentancy. Damian is an adult now, accomplished and intelligent and Dick couldn't be more happy.

The only issue is other people's reactions to Damian.

Ever since, he was reintroduced to hero society for his medical expertise under the code name Nightengale (Tim chose it and suffered Damian's wrath for weeks) Every young hero Dick knows has delevoped 'an admiration' for his baby brother. (They want to get into his pants, but Dick refuses to even think about it), and Dick can't take it anymore!

He deals with this with every member of his family, and eventually, the love lorn stares die down.

But with Damian, they seem to only be increasing over time as he saves more lives and endears the younger heroes with treats and stories of his many pets.

That is his baby, and if they don't stop with the lecherous gazes soon Dick is enacting contingency plans!

It's getting plain dangerous! With the other bats, the way to impress them was competency, but because Nightengale is rarely in active combat, his admirers have resorted to injuring themselves or exaggerating symptoms to get his attention. It's gotten so bad that Bruce had to put out a League Wide memo on safety and, somehow, had gotten Damian to teach a first aid class. But that only made it worse! Nightengale claimed even more hearts during the class! He had an army of suitors practising CPR and gave everyone his com frequency at the end in case of emergency!

Dick has walked in on way too many conversations discussing Damians' datebility. He almost murdered the poor soul that started describing what they thought the doctor would be like in bed. (They were so lucky Kory was there to hold him back from disfiguring the pervert.)

The worst part is that as soon as it was revealed that Nightengale is a bat. Nightwing, the friendliest bat, was inundated with questions about the doctor. A brave few even asked him to put in a good word for them!

Dick needs this to stop. Now.

So he starts to think. How did the wave of crushes end for the rest of his family? Dick realised they only stopped after the object of their affections started dating another hero.

So all Dick has to do was set Damian up with someone. (He despairs at the thought, but anything is better than watching people he is meant to trust with his life oogle his little Robin as Damian just tries to do his job.)

So Dick Grayson makes a list of attributes any partner has to have. (Not that any of them will ever be good enough to deserve him.)

The person he sets Damian up with has to be a good hero, non judgemental about Damian's past, be able to handle his more acerbic attitude, and just crazy enough to keep up with a bat. They have to be competent, intelligent, and willing to defer to Damian when he makes his own choices but stubborn enough to dissaude his more reckless behaviour. They have to be kind, an animal lover, and willing to move heaven and earth for his baby brother at the bare minimum.

Most important of all, they can't under any circumstances have a reputation for dating around or being a massive perv. Damian is his mother's son, and as much as he tries to deny it, a true romantic. If Damian falls in love, there's no doubt in Dicks mind that Damian will remain loyal. If he's not careful, Damians' compassion and incredible capacity for forgiveness will be his doom.

So Dick needs someone who would never dream of taking advantage of another's heart.

Dick is left with a surprisingly short list. He considers asking the rest of the family for help but can't risk it getting back to Damian.

Then, after a half hour of despair. It hits him. Jonathan Kent!

They are childhood Friends, Jon knows all about Damian's childhood, they trust each other, Jon think Damians insults are funny, respects his decisions, loves animals, and would literally break the world to protect him. Jon doesn't date much, usually committed relationships, and is interested in men! It's perfect!

Dick mentored Jon himself. He's a good guy and definitely wouldn't take advantage of Damians' loyalty.

So, with his decision made Dick begins his plan to set them up.

It's a delicate operation if he goes right out and says it there's no way Damian will go with it. So he starts assigning Jon to Nightengale at the Watchtower during low activity.

He smiles as he watches the two laugh over restocking the medbay.

Next, he gets Damian to bring Superman 2.0 to visit the children at the paediatric hospital he works at as a day job. Jon happily agrees and afterwards meets Dick with a bright blush in his face and a sappy smile that doesn't fade.

Dick makes up excuses for them to hang out, training, humanitarian missions, and abusing superspeed and flight to ensure Damian is fed after long shifts.

The two are definitely interested in each. It's cute. Jon starts glaring and hanging around Damian whenever the other heroes start flirting. Damian lets Jon help him with projects, and the two are never out of each others sight for more than two minutes.

The plan is progressing beautifully, but they need just one more little push.

It happens without Dicks intervention, in the worst possible way.

Nightengale is out during an invasion, fighting and providing emergency medical help when he's hit. Hard.

Dick doesn't see it happen. But turns to see Jon with red eyes standing in front of a bleeding Damian as he takes down hundreds of the aliens. There are very few times Dick has really understood the power the Supers hold. This is like watching a vengeful God. But no hostile gets anywhere near Damian again.

The rest retreat after the carnage, but Jon doesn't care. He gathers Damian in his arms and flies away. Hours later, the batfamily finds them at a hospital, Damian is out of surgery, and Jon is sitting holding his hand. Both out of their hero gear, Thank God.

Jon doesn't even acknowledge their presence just keeps staring at Damian who is out cold.

Bruce starts to lecture him but stops when Clark very firmly drags him from the room. Dick watches the two in silence and slowly takes the chair on Damians other side.

"Thank you, for keeping him safe."

Jon just brushes Damians cheek and replies, "Always."

Jon doesn't leave until Damian is released a few days later. Damian moves back into the Manor temporarily to continue to heal. Jon visits him everyday.

Dick is celebrating his success. The two are well on their way to a relationship, and all of Damians admirers have backed off and only enquire about his health now.

Life is good.

Until he walks in on a Naked Jon Kent in Damians bed. He screams and flees before he can see anything else.

After he has calmed down and given them a chance to dress, he returns to lecture Damian about strenuous activity only to be lectured in turn about holistic pain management and rehabilitation after surgical intervention.

Dick shuts up, glares at Jon, and ensures Damian hasn't disturbed his stitches.

It would be fine if that was the only time he found the Super menace feeling up his baby.

He has, somehow, in his quest to save Damian from the lecherous assholes of the Watchtower, set him up with a pervert!

Everywhere he looks, he finds them canoodling, and Jon doesn't seem to fear him nearly enough. The little shit can't seem to keep his hands to himself!

The worst of it is when he and a few titans walk into the medbay after Damian goes back to work and finds the two of them using one of the beds!

They have no shame, and the titans spread news about the encounter to everyone. (At least Damian would be harem disperses) But Dick now wants to bleach his eyes out of skull.

But Damian is happy, so he resists the urge to break out the kryptonite.

That is until, one day, he notices a ring on Damians' finger during a hangout between the two brothers.

"You're engaged to Jon!!"

"No Richard."

Dick breathes a sigh of relief.

"We eloped."

"WHAT??"

Dick Grayson has many regrets.

[mothgirl2001]

As an asexual the thing that worries me most about ‘canon asexual Viktor’ (along with the whole CL issue… Trust me I am very iffy with that mess) is that many people who aren’t asexual have very little idea as to what it actually is and view us as a monolith.

I’ve seen people already point the finger at shippers or complain about nsfw art on jayvik posts because “Viktor is ace!! Art of him being intimate is ignoring that!!”

No. No. Again. We are not a monolith. You have it completely wrong and you are being ignorant.

Ace people can fall in love and have long term relationships. Some ace people can have and enjoy sex. Just the same as some ace people will not have nor enjoy sex.

It comes down to the individual. Viktor’s asexuality can be interpreted in a number of ways, and no interpretation is wrong.

I personally see Viktor as someone who has very little interest in sex/intimacy unless he develops a strong emotional bond with someone, once he’s with that special someone, he enjoys the physical pleasure of it and is fond of being so close to someone he loves. But he’d never particularly dive head first into it.

I actually think he’s the type to cry from happiness when he… you know… anyway…

In my mind, he’s favorable and positive towards it, but it is far from a priority.

That’s just how I see it, someone may have a completely different view.

But yeah, please stop generalizing us. Thanks.

Oh and yes I know there’s a lot of talk on whether to take CL’s words seriously but that aside I know people will take it and run with it anyway and the ignorance and acephobia I’ve been seeing is… sigh

Also if you don’t like any sexual art of Viktor… maybe block the artist and leave them alone. Instead of harassing and shaming them. Curate your experience.

[acmecorn]

When Yelena said in the vault that Val was getting rid of them cause they were burden, John immediately said "speak for yourself cause not me" or something like that. It may come off arrogant but if we look deeper, it came from a belief of being valued and not being a burden like he was to US government who discarded him without blinking an eye after everything he did for his country.

Then came Val with a friendly caring attitude and manipulation, giving him a false hope for a clean slate, told him he is valuable. You can look up the scene at FATWS, how he was nodding and shaking his head along Val like a child listening to his mom (she did the same with Bob in TB, acting all motherly to control him, to give her the parental figure he never had).

John fell for that manipulation unlike Yelena and Ava who probably guessed Val was shady (female intuition at its best) and accepted their fate as being replaceable.

But to John, it came off as another stab in the back. Cause he got used as a tool again, being discarded when he ran out of use.

That's why he was more aggressive while facing her. Because he couldn't believe the person he trusted again, betrayed him like that.

You'll see how he developed trust issues after realizing Val's betrayal. Not trusting Ava to come back or Yelena to help. But when they proved him wrong, he didn't hesitate to risk his life to keep them safe.

Shielding Ava behind his back to protect her against bullet, shielding Bucky, helping Yelena, even removing the sharp blade from his shoulder to help Bob.

He oddly reminds me of dogs. Show them ounce of affection and you'd get a loyal friend for life.

Of course he has fault and acts like a jerk. Same as a wounded dog barking and biting the hands that trying to help him.

I'm not dissolving him of his faults but I can understand why he acts like that. Notice how he stopped being rude to everyone after leaving the vault?

Cause in his mind they're already his trusted allies who won't betray him. His behavior changes to friendly instead of hostile. Like a wild cat getting tamed lol.

I don't know what type of dog he would be but if he was cat it'd be Pelas cat or a stray cat - grumpy and hissy at first but all friendly after trusting you. 🤣

PS: John is a bottom even in straight relationship. You can't convince me otherwise.

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about The Next Prince (EP 2): Father-Son relationship and identity crisis.

There is much to say about the latest episode of The Next Prince. I want to focus on the identity crisis Khanin is actually living right now. Obviously it comes first from the discovery of being the heir of a royal family from another country. Until now, Khanin had no idea about his royal lineage. He knew he had Emmalian origin because his step-father was from this country, but I think from what we've seen, Khanin never really saw himself as Emmalian. He didn't face blurred lines of cultural identity, intellectual divide or not having a sense of who he is (as far as we've seen from his flashbacks). Khanin was raised with Emmalian culture at home because his step father taught him the language, he ate traditional food from the country and learned about the history of Emmaly. I also think his interest in fencing was probably inspired by his father who wanted him to know how to do it because it's a famous sport in Emmaly, at least for royalty (and something he may have to use to fight for the throne later in the story). Outside home, I believe Khanin grew up like any other English children. However, I think this is going to be a challenge when he is back in Emmaly.

This idea is reinforced by the comment Ramil made to Ava after their fencing session. One can know how to speak well or know the traditional and cultural aspects of the country, but if you were raised, at one point, outside of the country, some part of them will still not be fully understandable for you. I believe this is something that some children face when they visit or go back to live in the country where their parents came from. Despite Prince Chana's statement to Prince Rachata that Ava and Ramil are friends because they knew each other from childhood, I still think Ramil views himself as "better" for two reasons. Firstly, he is a man (and it puts him first on the succession to the throne) and secondly he was born and raised in Emmaly. Obviously, when Khanin is going to compete with them, this is going to be an issue. I don't know how they will represent it, but Khanin will have to find his place. While it is going to be a time of challenging thoughts and emotions for our main character, his identity crisis can also be a time of positive personal growth and change. As long as he keeps around him trusting people, he will be able to overcome the inherent challenges of his identity crisis. No doubts, Charan will be essential for this, as he is the only person he can rely on.

However, most importantly, I believe the identity crisis, Khanin is facing comes from the knowledge that he now knows his father isn't his biological father, but someone who was tasked to protect and to raise him. There is a very strong bond between Khanin and his step-father. He was raised with love and learning that it may just have been a job for him is putting Khanin into a very complicated turmoil of emotions. It is reinforcing the identity crisis he is feeling, on top of having to escape assassination and being a prince. I believe he is feeling betrayed more by discovering Thatdanai isn't his biological father, than discovering he is in fact a prince. It is shattering his core beliefs. I think the father-son relationship is a very important narrative in this series. As Khanin was raised in a single parent's home his personal construction of beliefs was influenced by his father. So now that Thatdanai isn't his real father, who is he? I hope the story will give Khanin the time to accept that you don't need to be biologically related to feel like you're a family. I wonder how he will react when he is going to meet his real father. Will he have an instant bond with him (which I don't think will happen) or will he reject him? How will it affect his relationship and view of his step-father? I'm glad Charan comforted him when Khanin voiced his fear about the fact he maybe have never been loved by his step-father. He told him that as for what he has seen Thatdanai truly loves Khanin. This belief will be essential for Khanin to be able to bounce back.

I truly hope Thatdanai isn’t dead yet and will reappear when needed to give Khanin the force he needs to overcome the upcoming challenges in Emmaly. As for his biological father, I want to see them slowly build a good relationship. It will never truly be the same as the bond Khanin has with Thatdanai, but it will probably help him learn more about his family and himself. It’s part of the journey Khanin needs to take to be able to overcome his identity crisis.

[nanamikentoseyebags]

STAY

It seemed like after the confession, things were supposed to get easier. And things were fine, really. Until they weren't. Until that godforsaken fear started stepping on your toes. Again.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x gn!reader

content: best friends -> lovers, angst, angst, angst, fluff, a teeny bit suggestive (only if you squint), kisses, tears that's how i love it! the reader has trust and commitment issues and is just overall BAD with feelings

w.c.: 1.8k

a/n: okay...so. um. this the first time i write something for a kpop idol which is crazy considering i swore to my friend i wouldn't do it under any circumstances. don't perceive me okay. this is just SO personal and SO self-indulgent, it's borderline pathetic, good thing i don't care!!

It's different. The way the warmth emanating from his hands resting on your bare back feels now. It's so different from what you felt before, when the line wasn't crossed, that your heart skips a painful beat as the feeling of crippling fear comes over you in a huge wave, sweeping away any semblance of calm in its path. In a second, in just an eye blink really, pleasant warmth is replaced by bitter coldness. One more second and your personal spring with its inherent sense of hope is transformed into an endless pitiless winter with its brutal blizzards. You shiver under the covers, shifting slightly, hoping he doesn't notice how your body stiffens in his gentle hold, the way your limbs go numb from the absolute dread your unconscious paints in your mind with undeniable skill. He does. Hands wrap tighter around your waist, as a quiet “Are you cold, baby?” leaves his lips. Every syllable is laced with sleep but his mind is always awake enough to check on you. Oh. You shudder as you feel your cheek press further into his naked chest. Thump. Thump. Thump. Almost too loud. The steady pounding of his heart drowns out the annoyingly loud ticking of the absolutely idiotic watch you picked up together at the flea market. Bought as an innocent joke, it’s somehow become an indispensable part of this bedroom. Bought together. For his, now, apparently, your shared apartment. Oh. Shit.

And suddenly everything gets too much. This close proximity, tangled legs, his nose finding its home in your messy hair, the rustling of the sheets as he tries to wrap you up in a cocoon to save you from getting cold. Stop. It's not something you need to be saved from. You move back slightly, fumbling for the T-shirt you've tossed aside and pulling it on. A pathetic sort of boundary, a wall that needs to be built urgently. Hyunjin props himself up on one elbow, plump lips spreading into a boyish grin, “I know other ways of keeping you warm, none of them include any clothes, y’know, and…”. “I think we need to sleep,” you cut him off, “you have to be up early, work doesn’t wait,” words come off harsher than expected but you make no attempt to fix it. Instead your face remains unbothered, mouth’s a thin line as you card your slightly trembling fingers through your hair. He dismisses it, all too aware of your sudden mood swings, he just reaches out and brushes a couple of loose strands away from your face, the soft gaze never shifting into anything other than admiration. “I won’t go, I’ll stay with you,” he murmurs, his knuckles now slightly grazing the apple of your cheek. You feel your whole body flush when he touches you like that. Too tender. It hits too close to home. “What? Don't be ridiculous,” you push his hand away too sharply for your liking, yet realizing you can’t show how fragile you are. Not now. Maybe never. Hyunjin's perfect brows furrow in confusion on his stupidly perfect face and you hate to be the reason for it. “I’m not kidding, love.” Love. Too real. It gets too real. You feel like choking on air, eyes flickering all over his face, searching for any hint, any trace of lie. You don’t find any. Your breath hitches. Run. Run, coward, run. You know how to do it all too well.

“It's not something you can do whenever you want anyways. Too many people depend on you,” you state accusingly, sitting up straight with your arms crossed over your chest – a simple defense mechanism you’ve used to shut people out, too many times to count. Only that no one really knows what or who you’re trying to protect yourself from right now. “I’ll call in sick,” he mutters, shifting closer, his warm big palm now resting on your ice cold forearm, moving up and down in order to soothe you, “it’s not a big deal, I promise, love. They can do one day without me. Just wanna be here. In this bed with you.” The still sleep laced voice is so frighteningly calm, each carefully chosen word filled with a hidden unspoken promise. It sounds so very convincing that you almost believe him. Almost. You have to remind yourself your sense of trust's gone numb a long time ago, there’s no way for it to be undone. Yet you feel that damn lump in your throat as you blurt out, “You're just being selfish,” before you can comprehend what you’ve just said. Every worthless word leaves a bite mark – a reminder of your misery – on his honeyed skin. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t flinch. His penetrating eyes, somehow getting even softer under dim lights, shimmer faintly in the depths of your haven as they scan your feigned nonchalance, piercing through it, staring straight into your distraught soul. He knows you a little too well not to understand where it all is coming from. “Maybe I am,” Hyunjin suddenly admits, slender fingers find yours in a vain attempt to interlace. You don’t move, fear completely paralyzing your body, your hands cold as if you’ve long turned into a lifeless statue. “Can you blame me for wanting to be with someone I love? I’ve waited for this for too long. Endless nights followed by endless days of being just a friend. I was miserable. I guess I can afford being a bit selfish now that I finally get to share my life with you, don’t you think? I just want to stay with you. Tonight. Tomorrow. Every day. For good. It’s just as simple as that, Y/N.” You open your mouth to protest but words die on your tongue when you feel his hot breath on your skin. His lips leave declarations of love with each kiss to your fingers. Push away. Push away till it kills you, till it saves him.

“I know you're scared. I am too. It's not something to be ashamed of, Y/N. I know you’ve built these walls for a reason and I know you've sworn to never let anyone in ever again. I know what I'm asking might be too much, but please give me one chance. One chance to prove it's worth it. If you feel like I haven't earned your trust yet, I'm willing to spend every day trying. I wouldn't ask if I knew you didn't feel the same way. I know how you feel about his whole love thing. I know how it makes you sick to your stomach but I want to show you the other side if you let me. Will you let me, Y/N? Don't push me away. Don't run, I know you want to. Don't do it, please, just this once”. Oh. Something crumbles within you. Like all the pillars holding up this temple of your equanimity collapse in an instant. Deafeningly loud and unforgivably fast. Not because of what he says but the way he says it. The way he looks, like he truly knows how it all feels. Knows you. The way his brown pleading orbits show nothing but unconditional love and understanding. The way he sees you as a treasure hidden hundreds of years ago, probably cursed by someone who used to own you, but he still doesn't mind being cursed, as long as it’s you he gets to hold. Is it possible to fix something so broken? You choke out an uncontrollable sob, these traitorous tears are like a flood that breaks the dams, each one of them removes a brick from the remains of the half-destroyed walls. All when you thought you'd forgotten how to cry. Hide. Like a snail in its shell. Just so he doesn't see you like this, just so he doesn't— “C’mere,” he gently coaxes, something in-between begging and burning urgency. You surrender, of course you do, reaching for him before you can register it, emotions sweeping over you, weaving together in a bizarre whirlwind like patterns in a kaleidoscope. Hyunjin’s quick to catch you, strong arms gently settling you into his lap and then wrapping around your waist in the most achingly delicate way, anchoring you, still afraid you might vanish in his embrace. Your own hands move in agonizing rush, stroking his shaved head, then moving to his neck, roam over his broad back, as if trying to memorize the routes your lips have already learned by heart. Every desperate fevering touch is a claim on its own, each graze of your fingertips – the equivalent of a word that got stuck in your throat. At last, your fingers clutch his shoulders, digging into the soft golden skin – a quiet plea "don't make me regret this". He silently swears he won’t, drinking your tears away, wet lips leave featherlight kisses on your face, broken whispers of confessions roll off his tongue, entwining themselves in your hair – a vivid reminder of the sincerity that seethes inside his heaving chest. Believe. Don’t run. Let yourself feel it.

He catches your chin with his hand then, grounding you, chasing away all your fears with a gentle caress that soothes your slightly tingling tear-stained skin. He tilts your head up just a tiny bit, so that he can press his forehead to yours and prevent you from escaping his fond gaze. “And if you feel like it gets too much,” Hyunjin starts tentatively, cupping your cheek, “if you feel overwhelmed and find yourself gasping for air, just tell me and we'll figure it out together. Please?” You nod hastily, not trusting your voice, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes again. A tender kiss is placed on the corner of his lips, and he exhales, eyes closed, body relaxing under familiar touch. The kiss is not playful, not flirty, titillating as the ones you paid no mind to giving all the times you had sex, rather – pure, reverent. A kind of kiss that makes him beg it’s not a dream. You’ll be damned if you let it slip away. “Will you stay?” he breathes out, gaze hazy, fingers make their way under your t-shirt only to rest on your back, following the map of you he’s stored in his mind. It’s not sexual, just another way of showing you how you deserve to be treated. You clung to him tighter, holding for dear life, lips painting his portrait as they trace every inch of his fresco like face, little almost invisible mole under his eye, every wrinkle, every memory that’s forever imprinted on his flawless skin. “I will,” your every move declares silently, as you feel that elusive sense of dread finally begin to dissipate with every breath that you share, with every quiet “thump” of his heart under your palms. You know it’s still there, but slowly it's being replaced with warmth again. Stay, you fool. And so you do.

thank you for reading this little snippet of a therapy session i had with myself while writing this lmao <3 on a serious note tho, please let me know what you think cause i'm scared shitless to post something like this! yeah! bye!

[chimerafeathers]

#oh goddamn it shes literally me #samesies girl #character analysis so good and potent that it makes you reflect on your own self #excellent work op #the difference between ‘you confirmed fears that I have been consciously choosing to ignore at every opportunity every day every #conversation since the day I met you’ kind of hurt #and ‘I have already built a trustworthy image of you in my mind and my care and trust towards that banner of you is strong enough that when #shit hits the fan and you hurt me I will still choose to stick with you because I Know Confidently That That’s Not What Youre Actually Like’ #having that embedded trust already vs having trust issues #odile and isabeau believed in siffrin so much that they still held on to their pre-established idea of what kind of person siffrin is even #after they hurt them. but for Mirabelle she’s been silently subconsciously searching for proof that he’s untrustworthy and doesn’t REALLY #care about her and she’s wrong to care for him since the day they met. not because of anything personal against him #that’s just how the shit goes. Thats trust issues babey #I do that bro. tf #loving other people while you have trust issues really is like op said. it’s a constant conscious choice to love. to shove down the whispers #of the trust issues and choose to enjoy the relationship instead #it is a constant thing every day. so when shit hits the fan it can be easy to immediately assume that all your worst fears have finally been #confirmed and you can finally stop ignoring them #trust is a constant choice you make every day. it’s something you have to maintain internal mental upkeep with. and no one ever knows #it’s a perishable food in the fridge you constantly have to replace every 3 days #and this effects every. single. relationship. with. everyone. ever. #Mirabelle I want to know who hurt you the first time because holy shit (via @rainbowcatzworld)

YEAH EXACTLY, well said. Isabeau and Odile are working from much more stable foundations—their concept of their own self and the concept they have of Siffrin aren't in question at all, so they just need to figure out what the external situation is to understand what's happening. but Mirabelle is constantly questioning both of those things! what Siffrin says already comes across as cruel, but it's so much worse because she's been dreading that something like this could have been true the entire time they've known each other.

augh. that conversation was so deeply painful for both of them.

i really love how intensely Mirabelle reacts to act 5 Siffrin botched friendquest.

Isabeau is mostly operating out of concern and, eventually, hurt. he already knows something’s up before Siffrin gets to him. he knows something truly awful must be wrong for Siffrin to be lashing out like they are, and as soon as he can’t handle the situation anymore, he leaves and asks (with strained cheer) for time apart to cool off.

most of Bonnie’s anger comes from being upset and afraid that Siffrin would willingly put themself in danger for no reason, when that’s exactly why they’ve been so unsettled since the eye incident. they hate that Siffrin values their own life so little, they hate that they’re the cause of any pain or loss for him, and here he is, putting himself in that situation AGAIN. on purpose. it’s loud and explosive, but it’s familiar, too, being “hated” by Bonnie for this reason.

Odile pushes, and keeps pushing, until her concern overwhelms Siffrin and they strike where they know she’s most vulnerable. she gets physical, just for a moment, grabbing his collar before controlling herself and letting go. her fury shuts down into cold detachment, and she walks away.

but Mirabelle—dear, sweet, gentle, loving Mirabelle, “the most wonderful being on earth,” with her secret “ruthless side” that largely involves lightly badmouthing people behind their backs and then apologizing—slaps them. immediately.

and then COMPLETELY RENOUNCES THEIR FRIENDSHIP.

not just “we’re not friends anymore,” but “we were never friends in the first place.”

that’s!!! pretty extreme!!!!

of course, she ALSO starts by asking what’s wrong. something must have happened for him to act like this. but as soon as Siffrin brushes her off, she jumps past that line of questioning and dives headfirst into re-evaluating everything she thought she knew about them as a a person.

if he could say something like that to her and not see anything wrong with it, then she was wrong to treat him as a friend, wrong to read camaraderie into his teasing, wrong to think they must care about them all under their aloof demeanor.

that’s how Mirabelle phrases it—“I was wrong about you”—but i think that there’s a hidden layer of I was right about you, too.

she talks about the way they tease her like she had to convince herself that he was doing it in a friendly way. she says they talk like they “know better than her” like that’s a thought she’s had for a LONG time.

“Always soooo mysterious, Siffrin, always talking as if you're better than me! As if you know me!!! But you don't, Siffrin!!! You're just as lost and useless as I am!!! So stop!!! Talking!!! As if you know me!!!!!!”

none of this comes across as a new, sudden way to view Siffrin for her. it doesn’t shock or confuse her. it makes her angry, defensive, almost like she was waiting for something like this to happen at some point. the feeling of resentment, frustration, jealousy, being patronized and condescended to—this is something she’s been actively pushing down and rejecting this entire time, but they’ve given her ample reason for it all to boil to the surface. violently.

Mirabelle’s kindness is not inherent or easy. it’s a choice she’s making. she treats Siffrin warmly because she gives him the benefit of the doubt—refusing to act based on anxiety-fueled, cynical speculation, and reassuring herself that his actions are driven by care and friendship even if she can’t quite see it.

“I was wrong about you” doesn’t mean she always and without question believed them to be a fundamentally kind, caring person from the beginning—it’s that her first, colder instincts were right, and she was wrong to convince herself otherwise.

never mind that she asked what was wrong at first. she barely gives them time to speak in their own defense, to explain what they really meant by what they said. all of her suppressed doubts and frustrations are getting aired out now, now that all the trust she’d so deliberately placed in him has been betrayed. her pain feels bigger than this singular moment, so when she hurts him back, she makes sure it extends back through the entirety of their relationship for him, too.

“You're awful. You're not my friend, not my ally, not anything. You never were.”

like the others, she goes back to the clocktower and tells Siffrin not to come back until later. but there’s a finality to the way she ends this confrontation that isn’t quite there with the others. Isabeau and Odile reach their breaking point and remove themselves from the situation, asking for space to cool off but still somewhat leaving the door open for Siffrin to tell them what’s really going on at some point. Mirabelle is the only one who tries to fully cut ties���after everything else she says, her “I don’t want to see you until tonight” reads to me somewhat as “I don’t want to see you anymore unless I have to.”

I can’t wait to never see you again.

even back at the clocktower, Mirabelle doesn’t really defend Siffrin’s place in the party when Odile suggests leaving them behind out of concern for their trustworthiness on the most important day of the journey. Isabeau and Bonnie protest out of sentimentality and faith in Siffrin’s abilities and connection to them, and Mirabelle agrees, but…

“I agree, but... B-But would he even agree to come with us, still? Maybe they won't even come back tonight...”

she doesn’t say much outside of that. maybe the stutter and hesitation here are signs of regret about how things happened, but she lacks Isabeau and Bonnie’s confidence that Siffrin even wants to come back to them in the first place. she doesn’t trust that their bond was real anymore. maybe it never was in the first place, or maybe she broke whatever was there herself.

and she’s still mad when they finally catch up to Siffrin at the King! and she makes sure Siffrin knows that—after saving them, assuring him that he no longer needs to fight, that they’re all there for him. she still cares, of course she still cares—she’s still hurt, too, but they can figure that part out once there’s less world-ending stuff going on.

she’s the first to say that they all reserve the right to still be angry at Siffrin later—and that they’ve already forgiven him.

she’s also the first to say we want to stay with you, too. it’s not just you.

she was wrong! she thought they didn’t care but they care so much, it’s overwhelming, it’s world-ending.

i think she’s gonna be wallowing in guilt post-canon the moment she remembers what she said and did TO SIFFRIN and not just what Siffrin said to her. especially now that she knows Siffrin’s exact hangups, and especially especially if she figures out what Siffrin was trying to say.

they put themself through hell out of loneliness and fear that none of the others cared about him the way he cared about them, he was going insane from repetition and exhaustion and hunger and trying to keep them all safe and together, and all they did in the midst of all that was say something kind of mean to her one time (that turned out to not even be MEANT to be mean it was supposed to be HELPFUL they just SAID IT ALL WRONG) and she SLAPPED THEM? and told him that they WEREN’T FRIENDS AT ALL??? how could she!!! she should have known better!! what they said hurt a lot but still!!!

so when they eventually manage to try to talk about it, they end up almost in, like, a guilt competition.

Mirabelle apologizing for how she reacted, that she shouldn’t have yelled or hit him, that she doesn’t want to be the kind of person who acts that way out of anger and she’s sorry that she made Siffrin expect that reaction from her, she should have known better and believed in him more and they only messed up like that because they were losing their mind in a time loop but what’s HER excuse—

and Siffrin going nononono stop I deserved it—(HUH DON’T SAY THAT NO YOU DIDN’T)—and that he should never have said such awful things to her, ever, and she was under so much pressure already with the weight of the country and everyone’s lives and futures and her religion and their whole party counting on her to do this impossible task because she’s the only one who can, all this unbearable expectation and hope crushing her, and they KNEW that but they thought they could skip to the ending as though her feelings didn’t matter at all, like helping her wasn’t as important as saving a little time—

until they’re just. in tears together, apologizing for all the horrible things they did in between complimenting each other’s strength and kindness and resilience and how much they admire each other and saying that no, everything you did was completely understandable, actually, the only one who sucks here is me. which neither of them will accept coming from the other!!

they’re so similar, in ways they couldn’t really understand, before.

warm, affectionate, perfect Mirabelle, the resolute hero, a beacon of compassion and hope for all those around her, who wears her heart on her sleeve, her fear making her courage shine all the brighter—nothing like the insignificant, forgettable Siffrin, too terrified to be known, too fragile to touch, too selfish and disgusting to bear letting go.

cool, mysterious, unflappable Siffrin, the worldly traveler, as charming and silly as they are confident and skilled, who brushed off losing an eye like it was nothing, accepting the risks of this journey with barely more than a shrug—nothing like the anxious, stagnant, underserving Mirabelle, a fraud and a nobody crumbling under the weight of a mission too important to be entrusted to someone like her, doubting herself, doubting her friends, doubting her mentor, doubting her faith, too weak and brittle to bend and change the way the world needs her to without breaking.

not worth bothering others with their problems. they should be able to handle this alone. stay positive, stay calm. breathe in, and out.

they’ll struggle with it, still—the hiding, the minimizing—but now, they understand each other a little better. they can hold each other accountable for what they leave unsaid.

it’ll get easier, eventually. they have plenty of time.

[journen]

Sorry, this is very random, but I read about the Mod statement regarding the zine but since I'm not following at all I'm confused what exactly happened....it seems like this problem has happened for long time and not just one off issue?

I think some info it still coming out but essentially, the head mod Micky said that back in December/January, when they said they placed the order for the zine books, and donated thousands of dollars to charity, they actually were lying and that the zine funds were in their personal bank account and that "accidentally" their caregiver during one of their hospital visits used their debut card to pay for their hospital stay/treatment with th zine funds. And they stayed silent about this for months until now. Everyone was under the impression that the zine books had been ordered and just experiencing manufacturer delays, and the money(i think between 6-10k USD)had been donated when in fact it had not been.

So at the very least, this was a gross and unforgivable mismanagement of the zine funds and at the worst, a deliberate scam by this one mod(the other mods didn't know at all about this). It's horrible.

From what I understand now too, more bad stories about this mod are coming out that make me question why anyone who knew this about them trusted them to make this project 💔💔

Does this help clarify anything? 🧡🧡🧡

[t-lostinworlds]

This is such a random train of thought but I came across a comment on a fanfic saying something along the lines of "people don't usually change" / "forgiving them is unrealistic" / "your character is pathetic for giving in" and while valid in some, if not, most cases, thinking that it applies to everyone and everything all the time seems like such an unhealthy mindset to have. In my opinion at least.

Don't get me wrong, I hate it when forgiveness is served on a silver platter where the person apologizes once and then all is suddenly forgiven. But if the person provided an explanation all while not passing it as an excuse, took full accountability of their actions, truly apologized and showed regrets, and then took the time to better themselves, worked hard to improve and then continuously show that they're a much better person now and had grown after years. Is giving a second chance really that criminal? Especially when forgiveness isn't even given right after that and it's still a slow and steady journey of building that trust where everyone's starting on a clean slate rather than jumping right where they left off.

I don't know, maybe this is just me always trying see the good in people, but if you really don't think that a person has the ability to grow and learn from their mistakes, (which everyone will make often) all while constantly showing and proving that they have grown and learn, then that's a bleak way to see things. It's just a sad way of thinking that just because a person made a mistake (obviously depending on the mistake), they're forever branded as a bad person.

It's like, needing people to be perfect and wise right off that bat, putting them on a pedestal where you think they won't ever make mistakes and once they inevitably do, suddenly they're never going to change and learn from it and they're always going to be a horrible person. And that just seems so…toxic.

Obviously, things are much, MUCH more complicated in reality. Some people never do change, some don't deserve forgiveness at all, and some are genuinely just horrible and vile human beings who deserve to rot. But thinking that everyone is like that?

Just, not everything is so black and white you know? Sometimes things are just various shades of grays. Humans are messy and complicated as fuck but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

[may8elle]

My biggest pet peeve with the cozy games with heart events for romanceable options:

Why do later heart events immediately mean that by the last one/two, they'll have kinda heavy-handed romance implications/vibes? I want to be bestestest friends with people and max their hearts out platonically, I wanna have my BFFsie AND my S/O - AND I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE I'M LOW-KEY CHEATING ON MY S/O JUST FOR GETTING CLOSER TO FRIENDS!!!!!!!

Not only would it just be cool to have MORE aromantic options in general (listen I absolutely ADORE Krobus Stardew and I will FIGHT anyone who speaks bad on him, but it would be so cool if I could just roommate the others too without worry about romance- why does it have to JUST be him why can't I be bffs with Abby and we platonically move in together LIKE HHHHHHHHHH), but for people like me who feel Bad about doing shit like that, it would make the game infinitely more enjoyable

[purplesaline]

That poor pup is SO stressed out. That "smirk" is also known as a "strained grin" (not to be confused with a submissive grin which is an appeasement behaviour).

When dogs are uncomfortable, anxious, or stressed you can often see the muscles around their mouth tightening. Here the muscles are so tense it's pulling the dog's lips back into what looks to us like a smile. It's actually closer to what we'd see in humans as a grimace.

This pup is being cornered by the larger barking dog so can't easily just escape this confrontation so he's attempting some appeasement behaviours like avoiding eye contact, the half-lidded eyes, ears back, and sitting to show he's not a threat and doesn't want trouble. In addition to the grimace he's showing his discomfort by leaning away from the barking dog and holding his body tensely.

When he turns his head slightly his ears start flicking back and forth is a stress coping technique, much like fidgeting for people.

And then you can see just after he turns his head to the side his ears come up to a more tense position and that's a sign this poor pup has had more than enough and if the barking dog doesn't back off he's about to transition from Fuck Around to Find Out. If you look close you can also see the grimace bare some teeth as well in warning.

After he crouches to the side (stress panting a little as well it looks like) to continue to try to avoid the situation the barking dog cuts him off so he feels even more trapped and that's when he lashes out.

This is an incredibly tolerant and patient dog. Even when he lashes out after all of that communication he doesn't attempt to bite. He barks and snaps at the air near the other dogs face and then continues to lunge and snap at the air.

That annoying puppy (I'm fairly certain this is a young dog. 8-14 months would be my guess) is incredibly lucky he didn't get his ass handed to him.

As for the barking dog, while it's hard to tell without sound my guess is he's trying to make the smaller dog play with him (as my puppy does the exact same thing to his aunt while I'm typing this 🙄 and she charges at him barking sharply and repeatedly to shut him up). You see this a lot in dogs with poor emotional regulation skills who struggle with frustration tolerance. In dogs under 2 years it's quite common because they're still developing those skills but if you see this behaviour in dogs over 2 it's usually because they've missed out on some important socialization.

I hope this video was taken for educational purposes to show people what discomfort looks like and how the body language can escalate because otherwise someone should have stepped in right away to enforce the smaller dogs boundaries and redirect the barking dog. Ideally the barking dog would be taken somewhere and helped to calm down and regulate to help him learn to do it himself (examples being cuddling, laying down in a kennel/crate, finding something else to play with, or being given something to chew or lick).

It's good to allow dogs the space to communicate and deal with issues between them, but when it's clear one dog isn't listening it's important that a person step in and help. This builds trust between the aggrieved dog and the person and it also helps the dog that wasn't listening learn that they can't push those limits and get what they want.

Disclaimer after all of that, I'm not a trainer or behaviour specialist so if a qualified behaviourist tells you I was wrong about something chances are pretty good they're right, but i guarantee you they'll all agree that poor dog is stressed af even if we disagree on the semantics of particular body languahe cues.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.

I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?

i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...

[respectthepetty]

Kang's Trust Issues

All roads lead to my wild ass theory

Kang's dad told him that dogs must be punished to be controlled.

Both times Sailom has unknowingly approached the subject of Kang's dad, it has allowed Kang to be honest about his failing relationship with his father.

Yet Kang immediately stops himself and deflects.

Almost as if he was trained to belittle what he is saying, so someone else doesn't have to.

Because Kang's dad trained him to not trust himself.

And Sailom has fed into that.

Kang doesn't believe in anything, so Sailom gave him something to believe in - Sailom himself, but with that, Sailom also gave Kang someone he could trust since he can't trust himself.

So even though Kang is going about his relationship with his tutor in the queerest and most dominant way possible, he doesn't believe they are friends, so he wouldn't even be able to imagine he loves Sailom.

Because what Kang's dad really trained him to do was to lie to himself.

But he knows he can trust Sailom.

Because Sailom never lies.

And Sailom only acknowledges Kang when he is being honest.

Sailom has never eaten expensive steak. Sailom has never played with VR. Sailom likes free shit. Sailom got Kang's birthday cake from Kang's own fridge. Sailom was at that restaurant with a client. Sailom gets beaten up by debt collectors. Sailom told Kanghan all of this without hesitation. He never lies to Kanghan.

So how would Kang react if he thinks Sailom is lying to him?

Like . . . hypothetically helping his brother plan to rob Kang's house while he is out with Kang?

Especially if Kang, a boy who can't trust himself, trusts Sailom completely and starts to trust his feelings for him. How would a boy who has been tamed like a dog react?

And now it makes sense why Kang is not a boy of words, thoughts, or feelings, but actions. Kang has trust issues with himself. This is why he likes Sailom's approval because unlike his father who spins his desires into a negative (you don't want to do it), Sailom makes him feel positive (you can do it).

But it also shows why Kanghan's reactions are so out-of-control with Sailom (aggressive) compared to his reactions with his father (passive). With his dad, if Kang doesn't have options, he doesn't have to think, and if Kang doesn't think for himself, he can't act. But with Sailom . . .

Kang's trust in his father is based on control. His father made a deal with him only to break it. His father got Kang a motorcycle that he picked out for him. His father expects Kang to take over the family business. His father isn't controlling, but he doesn't need to be when he is already in control of Kang's future unlike Sailom who puts no pressure on Kang to pass his tests even though his job depended on it. Sailom trusts Kang will make the best decision for himself. Just like with his brother, Sailom has faith Kang will do the right thing.

So, once again, when Saifah breaks into Kang's house, will Kang trust the boy who never lies to him? Will Kang trust his tutor who demands honesty of him? Will Kang trust the friend who keeps his promises? And, more importantly, will Kang trust himself enough to know that he is more than dollar signs to Sailom?

Or will he lie to himself like he was trained to do?

Blue Boys are known for their honesty and trustworthiness.

So I have faith that he'll know the truth in his heart.

Don't disappoint me, kid.

[x-ac1d-tr1p-x]

If you spread fake informations in the fandom tags, i will seriously forever blocking you

This is coming from a person who suffers from trust issues on the internet since in the 2000s and 2010s

[emberphoenixisgoingtolive]

THIS ^^^^

when you put it like that, it's no wonder darius - and the other kids - had such limited trust for authority. the whole sentiment of "if we don't save these dinosaurs, who will?" is there because adults have shown them time and time again, that they cannot be trusted, that they're power-hungry monsters who only want to either save themselves or actively destroy the kids. when you think about the implications of being abandoned on an island full of adults in positions of power and higher capabilities than them, of course they wandered around like confused chicks for several episodes, hoping that someone could save them! why wouldn't there be? after all, people are taught as kids that you should trust adults, right?

so the nublar six trusted them.

and their trust was reciprocated by being abandoned, forgotten, knowingly (by some) and uncaringly left to die. dave and roxie (camp counsellors) stand out because somehow... they're the only two people on the island who demand the kids are kept safe.

and they weren't even older teenagers in the 16-18 range. no, these kids were 12-15. literally younger than me. darius was twelve and had to not only deal with the horrific abandonment issues of being left on an island full of dinosaurs and being entrusted to lead all of them (despite being the youngest) (darius is 12, ben and brooklynn are 13, sammy is 14, yaz and kenji are 15 iirc). and as if that wasn't enough, they're betrayed by eddie, then mitch and tiff - and by then darius has no trust for anyone.

that's why i think it's so amazing how he plays kash. he manipulates him in ways 12-13 year olds should not know how to do. but he's seen mitch and tiff do it to him, playing nice and luring the kids in with all those luxuries, then slowly revealing their true colours until they work it out.

but darius has to be more careful. you can see him get to the root of figuring out kash's personality in minutes. he's so freaking smart!! honestly that scene never ceases to amaze me. manipulation requires you to work out a person's biggest weaknesses and play to that in a malicious way, using that to get what you want. for kash, it was ego. darius clocked that immediately, with how he always flattered him, while also teasing his competitive streak (when they were playing the jurassic world video game). darius my king you will always be so amazing for this.

but that doesn't mean it was a good thing he learned to manipulate people. manipulation is an abuse tactic, but darius never meant it in an abusive way. in fact, that's how he survived being held hostage, essentially, by kash. so he not only had to learn to manipulate (likely copying behaviours he saw in mitch and tiff since the family we see all seem very nice and non manipulative, as well as using his own logic), but how to separate those behaviours from how he treats other people. fawning is probably an automatic distress response for him at this point.

so the nublar six went from sweet, trusting kids, to traumatised kids with pretty severe abandonment/trust issues with skills they shouldn't.

and you can still see it in chaos theory, how they're skeptical of everyone - mateo, zayna and the mballos, barry (the flight guy), nonna, davi, and probably more i've forgotten and more to come in the later seasons. i hope they address this in s4 lowkey

seeing darius get used twice by men in positions of authority he thought he could trust (first mitch and then kash) is just. :(

[isfjmel-phleg]

I have to order books for the library today and I just put all the current requests in the cart and I want to run away and forget they exist