#and forgiveness and second chances

[t-lostinworlds]

This is such a random train of thought but I came across a comment on a fanfic saying something along the lines of "people don't usually change" / "forgiving them is unrealistic" / "your character is pathetic for giving in" and while valid in some, if not, most cases, thinking that it applies to everyone and everything all the time seems like such an unhealthy mindset to have. In my opinion at least.

Don't get me wrong, I hate it when forgiveness is served on a silver platter where the person apologizes once and then all is suddenly forgiven. But if the person provided an explanation all while not passing it as an excuse, took full accountability of their actions, truly apologized and showed regrets, and then took the time to better themselves, worked hard to improve and then continuously show that they're a much better person now and had grown after years. Is giving a second chance really that criminal? Especially when forgiveness isn't even given right after that and it's still a slow and steady journey of building that trust where everyone's starting on a clean slate rather than jumping right where they left off.

I don't know, maybe this is just me always trying see the good in people, but if you really don't think that a person has the ability to grow and learn from their mistakes, (which everyone will make often) all while constantly showing and proving that they have grown and learn, then that's a bleak way to see things. It's just a sad way of thinking that just because a person made a mistake (obviously depending on the mistake), they're forever branded as a bad person.

It's like, needing people to be perfect and wise right off that bat, putting them on a pedestal where you think they won't ever make mistakes and once they inevitably do, suddenly they're never going to change and learn from it and they're always going to be a horrible person. And that just seems so…toxic.

Obviously, things are much, MUCH more complicated in reality. Some people never do change, some don't deserve forgiveness at all, and some are genuinely just horrible and vile human beings who deserve to rot. But thinking that everyone is like that?

Just, not everything is so black and white you know? Sometimes things are just various shades of grays. Humans are messy and complicated as fuck but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

[mooneggtarts]

Hope. The holdest to hold onto

This is the last one I swear ajdbsj love me some symbolisms mmmm good stuff

[thefrsers]

requested by: @skatingthinandice: 7.02 + 7.08 "don't deserve a second chance" parallel

[fatedroses]

And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.

[pineappical]

sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better

[lihhelsing]

Hate That I Loved You

Now complete on AO3!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 ↓ | Part 5 | Part 6

Despite Eddie's wishes, everything just keeps on moving.

In a way, it's a little comforting to know that no matter how badly Eddie fucks up, life keeps going. It kept going when Lou almost broke him, it kept going every time he dumped someone or got dumped. It kept going when his mom passed away in the middle of the European leg of their tour. 

It kept moving when he and Steve stopped walking in the same direction. 

Eddie sits in his dressing room, waiting for his make-up to be finished. He barely slept during the night, a mix of anxiousness and fear of whatever was to come.

Eddie wants to talk to Steve and clear the air and explain that what he had seen the night before wasn't what he thought it was. There's nothing between him and Lou. Not anymore. 

It's not like he thinks Steve still wants something with him. He's not delusional or anything, knows Steve is doing this only as a favor to him and nothing more. But he's done hurting Steve, needs to put an end to all this once and for all. 

There was no time in between the band finishing up their part of the music video at around 3am and the super early call time they all had for the last day of shooting. When he got there, Eddie got dragged to wardrobe and make-up and had no time to even look for Steve.

He hoped Steve hadn't bailed because of whatever it was that he thought he saw last night, but if he had, they would most likely know by now. Probably. 

But to be completely honest, Eddie doesn't even realize he's holding his breath in anticipation until the moment he lay eyes on Steve again. 

Eddie gets into the studio all ready for the shooting. His clothes are a perfect match to what he used to wear back then, right before Corroded Coffin made it big. A sleeveless CC shirt with ripped skinny jeans. Always black. Chains and rings and a leather jacket on top of everything. 

It feels even weirder once he gets a good look at it. The studio had been completely modified and now he can see a perfect representation of his uncle’s old trailer. The place where he made most of the music for their first album. 

The place where he fell in love with Steve.

But now that Eddie is really looking at it, he can see only half of the trailer. The other half is actually the recording studio where they had made their first album. 

Half and half, torn in the middle, just like Eddie had been back then. Unable to choose between life with Steve and the band. 

Whenever Eddie was with Steve, his brain was thinking music and lyrics and chords. He itched to put his hands on a guitar, to take notes, to write. 

Then, when he was with the band, he kept thinking about Steve, missing him, missing his touch and his kiss and-

“Hey,” Steve’s voice sounds unsure, like he had tried getting Eddie’s attention more than once. 

“Hi. Sorry, it’s… Weird being back here,” Eddie says and Steve gives him a soft smile which… Don't seem like a bad thing.

“Yeah. Brings back a lot of memories,” Steve agrees and motions forward as if he’s going to touch Eddie’s arm. 

But then the director is calling their names and asking if they are ready and Steve drops his hand, turning away from him. 

“Can we, uh, talk? After? I really wanted to explain what you saw yesterday.” 

Steve shakes his head. “You don’t owe me an explanation, Eddie.” 

“No, I know. But I want to. If you… Please?” 

Steve looks over at him and there’s this unreadable thing about his expression that tugs at Eddie’s heart. He needs him to say yes. Needs him to listen to him. He needs to still have a chance. 

“Yeah, ok,” Steve says finally and Eddie can barely react before they are being directed to their places for the shoot. 

They have both the places that tore Eddie apart, and they are separated by a thick glass. Steve is standing on one side, a symbol of Eddie’s past life, the one he left behind when he started to pursue a life in music. 

The other is all his dreams coming true. Everything that he ever wanted becoming real. Back then, Eddie thought Steve didn’t fit in it. Steve didn’t feel he fit in. He never made Eddie choose, but soon it became clear Eddie wouldn’t be able to balance the two things at the same time for long.

He’d be away too much. And Steve needed him near. Wanted him there and Eddie wasn’t there. They fought, screamed at each other out of frustration and heartbreak. 

Eddie wanted to stay and he knew he needed to leave, but he only found courage to do it when Steve told him he didn’t see a future for them, that Eddie should put his chips on something more certain. 

He realized that day he would never be enough for Steve. He was splitting himself in half for him, trying to make everyone happy, and even then he was failing. Couldn't get things right.

The day he walked away, Eddie felt like his heart was going to give in. And he feels that way again as he looks into Steve’s eyes and sings how he hates that he loved him. 

There's this glass in between them and Eddie can't get through. No matter how loud he sings, no matter how much he tries, he can't have it all. He starts to wonder how much different his life would be if he had bet on his relationship with Steve. 

Wonders if he would've been happy with any other job. Maybe he would have become a music teacher somewhere. Have a white picket fence house with three cats and Steve. Maybe that would've been enough for him. 

Or maybe he'd resent Steve, like he always said he would. Every time Eddie missed something related to the band because Steve, he said that. Like Eddie couldn't make his own decisions. 

He knocks on the glass as Steve walks around the trailer with his back to Eddie. He wants to reach him, but he can't, and suddenly there's this suffocating need to tell him everything. To tell Steve how he feels. 

It's not past tense. His feelings for Steve never went anywhere, always there, always alive. He needs him to know. Even if Steve doesn't feel the same anymore, he's sure Steve has moved on from their thing a long time ago. He just needs him to know. 

Maybe back then it wasn't time for him and Steve, but maybe now it can be.

[sunshinechay]

Sometimes, forgiveness is more for yourself than the other person. It is needed to move on and move forward, whether that person is involved in your life after that or not.

Joe and Ming choosing to forgive Tong and Ming’s father does not negate what they did or what they may do in the future. They chose to forgive them for themselves. They need to move on and they know the best way to go that is to simply forgive them.

The story of Ming and Joe was always meant to be about forgiveness and second chances. Joe forgave Ming for what he did. This time both Ming and Joe are giving it to Tong and Ming’s father in order to give them what Joe gave Ming, an opportunity to do better. Will it work? Who knows. They might change for the better, they might not. Joe and Ming are willing to give everyone the chance to find out.

Tong still deserved to get pushed in the pool though. I wish someone had.

[valtsv]

had a breakdown and admitted to my parents that i've been struggling with delusions for years and in the shock of the century they were supportive and glad i told them. they don't fully understand how it works or recognize their role in encouraging my paranoia and life ruining anxiety and shame to the point of disconnecting from reality, but they promised to support me and listen if i need to talk, and they've started to be way more honest and open and respectful with me this year and admit that they didn't raise me as well as they could have so i decided i would risk it, and it turned out okay :')

[amyriver]

i have this headcanon that the doctor didn’t even try to find melody, because he knew finding her meant sacrificing river. sort of like the old amy/young amy problem in “the girl who waited”, but this time he chose the older version

for a better headcanon i like to believe he asked river what she wanted, and she told him not to find her. because at least then it’s her choice

[curiositysavesthecat]

Trigger warning for mention of rape

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[mother-rhoyne]

Arys Oakheart was courteous, and would talk to her cordially. Once he even objected when Joffrey commanded him to hit her. He did hit her in the end, but not hard as Ser Meryn or Ser Boros might have, and at least he had argued.

Sansa I - ACOK

It still shamed Ser Arys to remember all the times he'd struck that poor Stark girl at the boy's command. When Tyrion had chosen him to go with Myrcella to Dorne, he lit a candle to the Warrior in thanks.

The Soiled Knight - AFFC

[dangerousdan-dan]

Me, when I first played Death of The Outsider when it came out: love the game but I don't like either ending

Me now, literally crying as Daud fades into the void and the Outside is set free: I was a fool! This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Ceroba ramblings (+ Staroba)

Now listen: Ceroba lied about stuff, but never being with anyone else after Chujin passed? She's too stubborn and too emotional to lie about that + she clearly still cares about him (probably always will and won't remarry or have any more kids with anyone else; she just feels to me like the kind of character who wouldn't lie about how much her family will always mean to her). It wasn't a perfect marriage (he kept really important stuff from her for waaay too long and she let him "work himself to death") but the love was there. Just look at how she talks about Chujin (it pains my heart Star doesn't get this kind of attention but then again, Ceroba shouldn't be judged for finding something special in Chujin and not him):

There are TONS more:

Starlo's physically weaker but emotionally stronger. Ceroba's physically stronger but emotionally weaker. These differences sometimes work really well but other times personalities and viewpoints clash (like with staroba imo, already discussed)

Star's the type of person to quickly bounce back no matter what happens or at least never lose hope/optimism (he's still able to smile even after Clover's passing - although that might have to do with how he copes, but still, he's strong enough to at least pretend to be strong).

Ceroba needs Starlo as a friend because she's emotionally weak. That's why she messed up so badly with Kanako and lied to everybody and manipulated Clover. She did horrible things but the deeper meaning behind them doesn't convince me she's a bad person.

"The end justifies the means" is the motto Ceroba lived by before she realized the error of her ways.

... true, Ceroba injected her daughter, but to anyone who might say she didn't care about her (I'll discuss all this in more detail soon):

[quillkiller]

Hi, I love your blog, and please I would love to see you talk more about Walburga, I always found her a very interesting character, but there's almost nothing about her

hi!! thank you!! 💞

i love walburga so much, i think she’s so interesting. i think people forget that she was a woman in the 70s, and a girl in the 60s. to be clear, i don’t think she’s a redeemable character, especially not as an adult, but i do still think she’s a victim. <- two things can be true and everything isn’t as simple as black and white.

she’s painted as the main villain of the noble and most ancient house of black, but people forget she’s a woman. in the seventies!!! realistically, walburga held no power what so ever, was married off to orion against her will, and under orions control. she gave orion sons and an heir and did her duties as a wife. she’s a victim turned abuser. <- she simply didn’t break the cycle of abuse, tale old as time, etc. she’s been powerless her entire life, so she takes it out on her children.

me and kara talked about walburga a bit when we started talking about the bellareg marriage, and like, in the grand scheme of things, walburga isn’t really anything. she’s such a small pawn in such a large game, a game ruled by powerful pureblood men. she was born a daughter, something to be dealt with and bartered with, and ends up at the hands of a husband like her father. <- i wrote a bit about this in my bellareg oneshot. me and kara said that we think bellatrix grew up idolizing walburga, because despite being small in the grand scheme of things, she can appear so scary and violent. but as bellatrix gets older she loses more and more respect for walburga. she realises that she really is just a submissive and obedient wife, on a tight leash held by her husband. walburga doesn’t have ambitions that stray outiside being a wife and producing an heir. like, at the end of the day, walburga really is just a wife and a mother.

walburga’s abuse is allowerd because orion is the one to allow it. he’s the puppet master, the only one with an actual say-so in his family and with his sons. i’ve said it before when i’ve talked about how walburga is treated like the Main Villain, but a silent man (of the house) will always scare me more than a wife ’acting out’. orion is a man, and it’s bonkers to me that people don’t recognize that he’s the main villain and main abuser in the black household. he’s literally a massively powerful pureblood man in the seventies and people want to act like he’s somehow scared of walburga ??? (<- a take ive seen multiple times lmao). like genuinely, WHAT is walburga going to do to him. she’s powerless in her own marriage. even a disowned sirius is more powerful than she’ll ever be. even regulus, the spare, is more powerful than she’ll ever be. because they’re men.

to sirius, she’s a monster. he’s simply not able to humanize her (to me), and nor should he have to. she quite genuinely is his abuser and his own devil, and i don’t think he necessarily recognizes that the main villain of his upbringing is his father. <- not that he doesn’t hate his father too and thinks of him as his abuser. but to me, walburga is his actual devil. his monster under the bed, more frequent im his nightmares than his father. and like, yeah. that’s so understandable, and i don’t think that’s like the wrong opinion of him to have lmao. it’s never up to the abused to forgive and/or understand his abuser. like i said at the very top, walburga is irredeemable. when she becomes an adult the abuse becomes a choice, and she didn’t break the cycle. <- i wrote a bit about this, and how shocked sirius is to see walburga as a person with feelings, in my grief microfic.

reg, however, is able to humanize his mother. me and kara talked briefly about the spare & wife parallells and how that’s why he’s able to see her as a person. laurie @/itsjaywalkers reblogged a post a million years ago that said something like ’i wish they would invent a mother who wants to be saved’ <- and that’s how regulus sees his mother, i think. regulus knows what it’s like to be powerless, to be a shadow, to be less. but his mother doesn’t want to be saved, and so regulus doesn’t want to be saved. i’ve always thought that sirius is more like orion and regulus is more like walburga. <- and that’s also why walburga loves sirius more, and why she can’t stand regulus. it’s also part of a lot of conflict between the black brothers, the fact that sirius can’t humanize walburga and regulus can’t help but humanize her.

anyway! yeah, walburga is irredeemable & and abuser but at the same time she’s also a victim. people can be, and often are, both. it doesn’t mean she should be forgiven. i’ve talked lots here on quillkiller dot tumblr dot com how much it infuriates me when abusers are painted as evil heartless monsters that simply can’t help it because its ’in their nature’ or because they were ’born evil’ <- that’s simply just not how people and/or abuse works. abusers are people who chose to do that to you, who have feelings and lives and relationships and a past. it’s never as simple as black or white ! there’s nuance everywhere, babey

[lord-squiggletits]

Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.

[fiftypiercings]

I shouldn't be the only one who thinks orv and gintama are alike...