#and they were pirates (oh my god they were pirates)
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CALEB MYTH THEORY RAHH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
OK YOU PEOPLE ARE GENIUSES THE SIGNS THAT IT MIGHT BE PIRATE THEMED OH 👏 MY 👏 GOD……. 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️🙏🙏🙏🙏 OK HE IS SO WILL TURNER AND MC IS ELIZABETH SWANN OH MY GOD.
If you guys haven’t heard, so basically there’s been subtle hints like in the homecoming wings: endless summer trailer, there is a map with a ship on it in the attic on the left hand side, AND Caleb said somewhere on a video call (I think it was for the lunar year one) “we might be even stumble upon some uncharted islands not on any map” (they were talking about flying but lowkey still) SO MAYBE AND SURELY 🫣😱
#caleb#caleb love and deepspace#lads caleb#lnds caleb#love and deepspace#love and deepspace caleb#caleb lads#caleb lnds#lnds#lads
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Mermaid/Pirate AU save me 🙏🤍💙
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#Shadowheart#bg3 shadowheart#baldur's gate 3 shadowheart#jenevelle hallowleaf#bg3 tav#bg3 oc#tav#virtual photography#vp#personal#oc: lilith#otp: moonpetal#they were both gonna be pirates but someone told me to make Shadowheart a mermaid and AAAAAA YOUR BRAIN!!!#SO TRUE OH MY GOD I LOVE MERMAID AND PIRATE AU YO HO YO HO A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME 😍
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Pride and Joy.
Hippo Crush
4/4
Previous
I hope y'all have enjoyed this Warren-and-Hypno-centric arc!
Next time, a short peek into our Sunset Duo's background shenanigans in Criminal Engagement!
#Hippo Crush comic#everything under the sky comics#save rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#unpause rottmnt#rottmnt#everythingunderthesky comics#warren stone#rottmnt fanart#hypno potamus#rise hypno#rise warren stone#unpause rise of the tmnt#hypnowarren#60 pages later...I realize I should tag that. Whoops!#Happy Pride!#pride month 2024#and they were pirates (oh my god they were pirates)#As much as I love the colors in the starry panel#That one's slotted for revision! After a much-needed Sleep.#I have so many thoughts and I WILL type them up for sharing after said sleep. Goodnight y'all!#Thank y'all for the comments#they really keep me going!#Michelangelo Hamato#raphael hamato
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first female loz director and the gerudo seem to be written fine enough? wow... there ain't no way I thought we were in the worst timeline after totk
Yeah got through the main quest with the gerudo, it wasn't painful! It wasn't even bad! Still got them outfits but for the most part it was like oh cool!
I would say a lot of that oh cool is from the fact they didn't do a lot to even fuck it up to begin with, I'm gonna be real with yall this game is NOT worth $60USD
Edit: lemme say one thing, you know when people were being like damn totk story wasn't dark or mature at all why was this compared to Majora's mask again? And then all the zeldatwt people came out and said zelda is just a kid series domt expect good writing uH
This one feels like a kid's game. That ain't to say it's terrible I would say, hell I'm not far in it if I get something crazy that's like OH FUCK I'll reblog this post and say something but uh.....game for babies I'm gonna be shocked if anyone struggles with any puzzles cuz you CAN CHEESE THEM EASY ITS 🫢🤭
EDIT EDIT: I SWEAR IM NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE A DOWNER..... @ezlo-x HAS BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME IVE BEEN PLAYING....THEY KNOW I HAVENT BEEN A PARTY POOPER.....
#its......seems quick#the sidequests are very boring tbh#like this game should of been 45-50 max not 60#its cute i like it so far but oh my god the optimization and game design could of been way better#and after botw/totk like....how do i put this#its like nintendo heard hey we need a LITTLE bit of rail roading and then#😬#basically...example#for a main quest i have to go to 2 places to get people#i went to the 2nd place first and it......didnt update the side quest even though she should of gone to the meeting place#thTs apart of the quest but no i had to go to the 1st guy no matter what#and its like.....hey botw not totk would do that#most GAMES in general now wouldnt do something like that#also yall gonna hate the fact there is no organization or favorites tool for the echoes#game is fun so far but uH#i got through the first dungeon FAST FAST like this is not a return to form#minish cap dungeons i dont think were that fast and theyre simple#also anyone that says this dorsnt have mechanics from the wilds games yes it does#tri has an ability thats JUST ultra hand#oh and its not good in this game#yall gonna fucking hate it#unless somehow a pirated version doesnt allow you to rotate the fucking item or move it in a way that goes behind me#without me locking off and then back on again after repostioning myself#im worried its a feature and not an anti piracy measure#me and GC are gonna finish this up this week but dang i havent even done the whole first part of the main quest#if i had this on the switch i could see how fast i could play through the game WHILE talking to people and having fun and exploring#also oh my god the zora side quest very cute but when eveeyone knows how the game goes ill make one complaint in the tags one day#funny thing its not story....ITS GAMEPLAY#yhe story in the game is fine and i say that cuz its....very simple#HELL A LOT OF NPCS DONT GOT NAMES THAT ARE VISIBLE
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killllll meeeeeee
#sigh#were like#haalffff way done#maybeeeee?????#there so much shading#left to do#both wren and knight still need their eyes shaded#wrens entire skirt will be hellllll#i might make jenny's fit sparkle#knight also needs his damn eyeliner#also button shines#ugh#why are they wearing a pirate outfit?#because#i#wanted#to#.#i do regeret that skirt but oh my god it is too much work to change a this point#ive been working on this varying amounts every day#and like im haing fun until im not#alright shutting upm now#unfinshed art
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Teyz please you're breaking every single "happily ever after" delusion I've built up to cope
#THOSE WERE NOT THE FUNDUO CRUMBS I WAS EXPECTING#I MISS THEM#FOCUSING ON THE HAPPY PARTS#OH MY GOD GOLDENBOYS CRUMBS#SO HAPPY ONE OF THEM DEFINITELY ISNT AN ASSASSIN#THAT WOULD SUCK#OH MY GOD THESEUS LEFT THE PALACE AND BECAME A PIRATE#WOW SO SILLY THAT IS GOING TO BE THE PLOT IF THE NEXT CHAPTER AHSHHSSHS#CANT WAIT FOR EVERYONE TO BE ALIVE#butterfly reign#IM SO INSANE IVER THIS FIC
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Most kids had their bi awakening watching potc and liking Will and Elizabeth, which is totally respectable and understandable, but 8 year old me liked Calypso and Jack first and foremost, and I think that says a lot about me.
#i was obsessed with them#like i forgot will and Elizabeth were even part of the movies for the longest time#because as a kid i would just be like#OH MY GOD CALYPSO#DAYUM JACK SPARROW#potc#pirates of the caribbean#STOP I HAD TO EDIT THIS POST#BECAUSE MY AUTOCORRECT CHANGED BI TO BIRTHDAY#calypso#tia dalma#jack sparrow#captain jack sparrow
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KEEP LIVING, ICHI............
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#finished LAD. cried a little. ichiban is a new character of all time for me. nodding solemnly.#definitely some of the best overall writing from the series so far imo#only other game in the franchise other than y0 to make me tear up out of what i've gotten to#(still haven't played IW or gaiden [obvs] or the judgment games tho)#LOVED the story LOVED the characters (esp ichi oh my god i love him so)#only thing i didn't super love was the turn-based gameplay itself. could take it or leave it for the most part#but there's some fun elements to it for sure and the cutscene attacks are silly and neat#not the biggest fan of positioning being relevant to fights#while simultaneously being unable to meaningfully affect positioning as a player though#also fights that i assume were meant to be challenging never felt hard they only ever felt tedious#kiryu and tendo especially were not hard. just kinda long.#majima+saejima and sawashiro were a bit trickier for me but still not that bad#BUT there is still post-game stuff to do so we shall see!!#and it was still overall a fun time :]#and again the writing here was peak. loved it. a few nitpicks here and there but ultimately just really really enjoyed it#playing LAD really DID make me itch for smt v vengeance though. i want to play a turn-based rpg with a system i already know i love#(press turn system by eternal beloved)#but. money. alas. vengeance will have to wait...#ANYWAY. HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME WITH LAD.#trying to figure out if i wanna go to the judgment games or gaiden next...? might just keep it simple and go with release order#but i also wanna catch up on the mainline before the majima pirate game LOL#and i know i wanna play gaiden before IW in that case#HMMM.. much to think about#contra.txt#yakuza
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I always point out Bunk’d on the list of shows with a terrible finale (since S3 was supposed to be the last but it effectively did kill the quality of the show) but having watched the final episodes of Bunk’d that aired last night, I can now actually reaffirm that its ending is shit.
Because oh my god is it shit.
#Bunk’d#Jessie#disney channel#disney sitcom#Disney#lou hockhauser#Camp kikiwaka#I think I owe The Lion Guard and Jake and the Never Land Pirates an apology for their finales#Don’t get me wrong they’re still absolute garbage but I don’t think I felt as burnt out and empty with those finales as I did with this one#Lou gets a random-ass love interest in the last 2 episodes and they pull a soap-opera style fake-out break up#which is like#I have no reason to care this late into the game#but they also rehash the plotline of the characters possibly separating and Lou wondering if she should stay a camp director#As if we haven’t had that plotline used in the last 4 seasons (including the season that was SUPPOSED to be the end)#Again no reason to give a shit#Especially since the status quo remains with Lou staying at the camp#The Ross kids are barely acknowledged or mentioned despite the show originally centering around them#And rather emotional closure that wraps up the loose ends with the series-original characters that were written off the show#and got no closure#instead they pull a Descendants with a dance party ending that doesn’t even fully fade to black by the end#Like what the fuck#My expectations for the series were low because any chance at a ‘good ending’ were thrown out the window with every renewal this show got#But oh my god this finale actually lowered my already low expectations#For years I’ve affirmed that Bunk’d is the perfect example as to why shows should just stay dead after they’ve ended#because if they don’t they can just become a rotting shell of what they’ve used to be and lose any and all quality beyond salvation#which is exactly what happened#And by consequence I am only happy BECAUSE the show ended and not in HOW it ended#But yeah the Jessie franchise is dead and so is Bunk’d lol
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WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THERE'S CULT ACTIVITY ????? IN MY PIRATE SMP ???? SNARLING AS I SPEAK
#guys guyss#sun god ?#the savior mayhaps ?#foaming at the mouth. possible entities in my minecraft???#oh my hodd#<- user like cult activity in their media#its their hyperfixation. and yeah i kind of realized how weird it is#kites [?] were really having them activities on they islands fr 💯‼️#tw cult#cult tw#so sanee and normall oh my godd this also connects to my other hyperfix currrently#optr#scurvyblr#pirates smp#bee rambles
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also its so dumb that one of the arguments ppl have against a sims 5 is that theyve already invested too much money into 4. like yes its fucking scummy that ea charges so much for dlc and its Ludicrous the amt sims 4 costs if you have all the dlc and its going to keep getting more and more expensive but . to be honest . why are you paying for sims packs. im sry
#ik not everyone can pirate i get it and its your money do what you want#but itis your choice to invest so much into like. a sinking ship DJRNFJFNG. idk....#i want 2 be optimistic and believe that somehow they WILL be able to fix every single issue with ts4#but i honestly believe thats require them to take an extended break from releasing new packs and shit#and i genuinely honestly dont think theyll do that. lol.#but like. i think itd be a good idea like. Cut down on new releases and focus on fixing the base game and then pack refreshes#bc itd be rly cool to have like. pack refreshes to make them more fleshed out#but also like. sigh. it rly does come down to the packs bc i judt genuinely find it kind of disgusting how little is in each pack#and how many of the packs could be consolidated#genuinely earnestly feel like growing together and parenthood shouldve been one pack. like. and honestly throw hsy in there...#hsy could do with a refresh Badd ik its fairly new but oh my god the school is so fucking buggy#and in general like. IDK. id rly love the packs to be refreshed and id love love love More fucking lots in the worlds oh my god. multiple#worlds have literally 4 lots. Thats fucking actually insane it makes me crazy#i get like. ooh bc you can travel between worlds the worlds can be smaller but i hate it 😭😭😭#i think its just bc i grew up playing 3 perhaps but like. i rly loved like. idk when i choose to play in a sims world i want to play in tha#world. i dont want to have to like. i live in moonwood mills (5 lots .) and thej i have to go to like. san myshunonif i want to go to a bar#or whatever. is there a bar in san myshuno idr#IDKIDK. i feel like Innnn my opinion there should be like. at least 1 of the basegame lot types for every world maybe with some exceptions#and there should be enough empty slots ppl can fill it out more if they want...#but also like. idk. i suppose it wouldnt affect me much bc i usually stay on my home lot as much as possible#bc of the loading screens#it wouldnt be so bad if like. idk. i understand why they didnt wanna do open world like ts3#well i dont its fucking actually stupid. but i get that ts4 wasnt supposed to be what it is and it wasnt built to be a longrunning game.#hence why ts5 should happen instead as a Strong Foundation BUT WHATEVER but like. yk. and ik im not the only person in the world and other#ppl want different but i feel like maybe you could have options .. idk. im not a programmer#but itd be cool to have some sort of way to toggle between like. open world semi open world and closed world#where itd be like. ts3 style where the exteriors of everything r there but the interiors r loaded in when u visit (if that is how ts3 works#i may be a bit off) nd closed would be ts4 style Loading screen to go . next door#am i misremembering or are there even loading screens between like. the new apartments with forrent.... there were for the city living ones#skull Fuckk i ran out of space
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I've realised the unfortunate reality that I've never been able to make a playlist that captures my teen years because I haven't been able to admit that my tastes were a little cringe a decade ago. Alas cringe culture comes for us all i suppose.
#they weren't ENTIRELY cringe altho i guess that depends on your tastes#and i don't really actually believe in cringe most of the time#not for anyone except myself#i just don't want to get caught putting nickleback on the same playlist as mcr#and then there's the panic at the disco problem#(problem -> i was very into their music but then brendon urie did whatever the fuck he did and now it's all a lil tainted)#ouggh#linkin park is still good tho that shit slaps#the other issue is that half my music was pirated so i don't even really know what all of them were called#and i had some weird random shit in there cus my uncle was a dj and i had his entire music collection#oh god I'd have to put eminem on there unfortunately#but! fall out boy still fucks!#p!nk is always good#i think that's most of the big stuff#oh and imagine dragons but i still like their music so whatever (yes shut up)#i feel like this list gives you a pretty big insight into the type of teenage girl i was lmao#the system speaks
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lately i've been a feminist killjoy.
2. i pirate all my media, and therefore am not familiar with most tv commercials. i went to a superbowl party. around me were appetizers and bean dip and wine and the rolling movement of people talking - and meanwhile i was sitting there, stonefaced and bonechilled. the extraordinary, willful, in-your-face sexism and racism of advertising. what an odd whiplash: the warm and smiling hosts handing me nachos - in the background, some casual repetition of conservative gender roles. more than once i had to turn to my girlfriend - are you seeing this?
3. often i think of how rainbow capitalism is a canary in a coal mine. i think of what one google employee said when they took down their "don't be evil sign" - he mentioned that while it hadn't really done anything, the removal of it was... eerie. it isn't that i needed pride-themed fast fashion items from target. it's that the pushback to said items has now resulted in the company's looming silence. it's that the pushback worked. target is now among the list of companies aiming to "roll back" DEI initiatives. a false friend, i guess - but a bellwether nonetheless.
4. i remember five, ten years ago rolling my eyes at the faux-feminist faux-activist stuff advertisements would put out. i mean, who can forget that pepsi ad, oh my god. i remember girlboss anthems and lukewarm representation. but it did seem like someone was, you know, trying to be thoughtful. but if we follow the money, i think it's fair to say it used to be a good idea to at least appear "politically correct." now though - who cares? look at the man we chose for politics.
5. i am working my girlfriend through her first watch of FMA: Brotherhood. it should be a sweet deal, and instead, i oscillate from peaceful to pacing. the ads drive me insane. i've been counting - at least three involve a man silencing a woman in some way. two involve a white man silencing a woman of color. in my least favorite, she's sitting at her desk, trying to say the same thing he's saying. but he keeps fucking interrupting her. ha ha. don't even ask me what the ad is even for. i don't understand the plot of the thing. i think the whole idea is just "man talks over a woman. buy our product" but with like, somehow worse pacing.
6. on national tv, in front of millions of viewers, kanye posts an ad for his website that is selling a single white T shirt, a product titled HH. a swastika is emblazoned on it. people can't even talk about how fucking terrible that is - their videos get flagged as soon as they actually say what's happening. i am sitting at home staring at my stupid phone, just quietly stunned. we can make a rapist president, but we cannot say the word rape on most social media platforms. elon can nazi salute on television without consequence, but you can't use the word "female" in your research grant request without being flagged. the enormity of it all is impossible to grasp.
7. there's a company called "his", which sells things for erectile dysfunction. the ads are trucks and masculinity and very gender affirming. the same company has a "hers" line, which is a barely-tested weight-loss injection developed and sold by recently-rebranded absolutely evil company Eli Lilly. in the ad, women who are "overweight" grapple with their barely-visible stomach and smile, beautifully at peace while delivering their own "treatment."
8. i read a lot, though. i spend a lot of time online. someone recently said i write almost exclusively from a place of panic, which they didn't like. it made me laugh though - can any artist say differently right now? still. still! i sat on that couch and watched how casually bigotry is repeated, with no real audience reaction. am i just radicalized and unfortunately very easily annoyed? am i the problem here? can't i just like, relax and let it happen?
9. we stand in line at the movie theatre. i make some snide remark about how the poster we're looking at is basically "sexy trophy smiles knowingly at our hero, nerdy boy". from behind me, some guy snorts down his nose. feminist killjoy.
10. the thing is. i don't want to be like this. it's just like. in my fucking home.
#warm up#feminism#there's like this slow creep of bigotry back into advertising and im like#ohhhh that's a bad sign lol . if ur listening
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my favorite historical thing about actual pirates is most of them were really young guys who died between the ages of 17 and 24 so one of the reasons blackbeard is so famous three hundred years later is because he was, like, thirty-two and still kicking which made him seem really wise and shit-together by comparison. it's like when you're a 28 year old woman and get tumblr asks from college freshman that say "oh my god you don't look like a withered corpse at all"
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how to disappear. (opla!zoro x fem!reader)
synopsis: joining luffy’s crew made you believe that you’d finally escaped your former pirate crew and nightmare of a captain for good. that is, until a certain butler starts looking a little too familiar. good thing zoro’s keeping a close eye on you.
warnings: opla spoilers (ep 3), some direct dialogue from opla, mentions of verbal/physical abuse, kuro is just a weirdo tbh, reader is called a bitch, protective zoro, for the sake of the story sham and buchie joined the black cat pirates after reader left
word count: 4.7k
“this guy is full of shit.”
you knock your shoulder into zoro’s wider one. “be nice. and so what if he is?”
zoro gives you a pointed glare. “then we should turn around and look for someone who can actually help us find a ship.”
“all business, as per usual,” you reply, with a purposefully dramatic sigh. “why can’t you have a little fun?”
“what about this is supposed to be fun?” zoro spits out the word like it’s poisonous. “this is the blandest village i’ve ever seen.”
you scoff. “now you’re the one that’s full of shit. nothing’s ever bland with us and you know it.”
the us in question was your newly formed pirate crew… if you and luffy could even be considered that. having left the ship you’d been on a few years ago, you were in search of a new crew. luffy was persistent and charming — when you’d crossed paths in shells town, it took little to no time for him to convince you to join his hunt for the one piece. zoro and nami, on the other hand, had yet to follow in your footsteps.
“well, considering that we’ve only been traveling together for a day and a half and i’ve already escaped a marine base, defeated a marine captain, and fought a clown with devil fruit powers… i’d actually have to agree.”
you can’t help but giggle at his sarcastic delivery. “be grateful, zoro. not many pirate crews are this fun to be on, trust me. oh wait, that’s right, you still haven’t officially joined—”
“tell me about your old pirate crew,” interjects zoro, your comment having piqued his interest.
you notice that the playful atmosphere dissipates. “god, where do i even start?”
zoro answers that for you. “why did you leave?”
“starting with the hard hitting questions, huh?” you joke, mostly to stall. you clear your throat before you answer. “well, it was different. nothing like what luffy has going on. he actually cares about his crew… and even those who aren’t technically on it.”
at that, a smile tugs at the corner of zoro’s lips. even you crack a small grin. although as you continue speaking, it fades.
“on my old crew, we were dispensable. anytime something went wrong, our own captain would threaten to kill us. it was… scary, to be completely honest. there were so many times when i thought i’d die with that filthy crew. and i never wanted that. so as soon as we docked at shells town, i left.”
zoro’s jaw clenches as imagines the things you’d seen and been subjected to. “this old captain of yours sounds like a real—”
“he was a nightmare,” you tell him. “he didn’t care that i was the only woman on board, he treated me just as horribly, if not worse.”
zoro stops so suddenly that it takes you a second to realize he’s not walking alongside you.
“what do you mean by that.” the way zoro phrases the inquiry doesn’t even make it sound like a question. more like a demand. his narrowed eyes are fixed solely on you. holding his gaze feels… intense.
you can’t help but glance away as you answer him. “he was just a bit of a creep.”
before zoro has the chance to try and extract more information out of you, a familiar voice calls both your names. you’re not really sure when you and zoro had fallen behind but from where you currently stand, the rest of your group looks miniature. or perhaps it’s just the massive size of the mansion behind them that makes luffy, nami, and usopp look pocket-sized in comparison.
“why’d you stop walking?!” your captain shouts, hands pressed on each side of his mouth to amplify his voice. “get over here, we’re about to go in through the top secret entrance!”
you vaguely make out usopp gesturing for luffy to keep his voice down. you’re sure that would warrant another comment from zoro about his reliability but he’s too busy staring at you with that expectant look in his eyes.
“we better catch up,” you tell him, heading in the direction of the deluxe home.
he allows you to dodge the subject and sighs, walking in long strides to catch up to you.
“i’ve never seen a house this big before,” luffy admits, admiring the mansion along with the wellkept greenery surrounding it.
“awesome, right?” usopp gloats, walking around like he owned the place. “kaya’s given me an open invitation to drop by anytime i want.”
“wow.” you’re not sure if luffy was just going along with usopp’s act or if he really believed him. knowing the devil fruit user, it was more than likely the latter. “all this for just one person?”
“well, she lives here with her butler and a few other staff,” usopp replies, leaning against the stone well that sat in the middle of the lawn.
“money really shows you who people truly are,” nami mutters, eyes scanning the property. “most people only care about themselves and what’s theirs.”
zoro is quick to throw the insult back at her. “sounds like someone i know.”
you roll your eyes at his comment, though you make no effort to disagree with him. nami was a little on the materialistic side.
“and a small staff makes for easy pickings,” she continues, proving your point.
“we just got here and you’re already planning on robbing the place blind?” you ask though you already know the answer.
“at least a little blurry,” she smirks, following behind luffy and usopp who walk toward the entrance.
you and zoro share a look. one that says disappointed but not surprised.
going under a shrub shaped as an arch, you’re met with a beautiful pond. you admire the pink lilies that float at the top and the bushes that were intricately trimmed into the shape of various animals. even if the people that lived here were filthy rich, at least they had good decorative taste.
“so if you have an invitation, why are we going around the back way?” luffy ponders.
usopp’s answer is nonchalant. “oh, i never use the front entrance. like i said, this is the vip entrance reserved for special guests.”
zoro scoffs. “this guy’s definitely–”
“don’t start,” you groan, cutting him off.
abruptly, usopp freezes and spins around, attempting to usher your crew back. “you know what, there’s actually a more exclusive entrance this way–”
the sharp swoosh of a knife cutting through the air and burying itself in the ground between usopp’s feet cuts him off. from the direction the kitchen utensil was thrown stands a heavyset gentleman with his face wrinkled in anger. his demanding voice booms through the garden, “the hell are you doing here, usopp?”
the dark-skinned boy fumbles over his word. “buchi, buddy, uh, kaya’s expecting me.”
“another one of your lies,” the man – seemingly named buchi – seethes, grabbing him by the collar. “you ain’t welcome here and you know it.”
“i know nothing of the sort,” usopp retorts, keeping his cool even when he was practically being lifted off the ground by his shirt. “i’m here to give kaya an extra special gift.”
before buchi can get another word out, a feminine voice calls out for your companion. coming down the steps is a frail looking girl in a pink dress. on her arm is a man dressed in a crisp suit, presumably the butler usopp had mentioned earlier. though, from where you stand you can’t see either of their faces too clearly.
“what a wonderful surprise,” she exclaims, breathlessly.
“kaya!” usopp exclaims, returning her enthusiasm. buchi has no choice but to let him go, begrudgingly. usopp makes sure to shoot him a smug look before walking towards the young girl. “happy birthday.”
the butler clears his throat, not afraid to intrude on their special moment. “usopp, we’ve discussed this before. you mustn’t show up unannounced.”
“nonsense, klahadore.” kaya smiles warmly. “have you come to tell me another story? i do love hearing about your adventures.”
“i’ll do you one better,” usopp smirks with such confidence that even you’re left wondering what kind of surprise he has up his sleeve. “i brought some of my crew!” he gestures back towards the four of you, proudly.
your excitement vanishes. “oh. the surprise is… us.”
“well, that’s boring,” luffy agrees, just as disappointed as you are.
kaya, on the other hand, is none the wiser. “it’s so nice to meet you. you must all stay for dinner.”
klahadore lowers his voice. “miss kaya, it is a bit last minute. i’m afraid the kitchen hasn’t prepared for any extra guests.”
“please,” begs kaya, softly. “it’s my birthday. can’t be too much trouble can it?”
giving in, klahadore purses his lips. “anything for you, miss kaya.”
luffy claps his hands together. “alright! when do we eat?”
“you don’t. not dressed like that, at least.” the butler directs himself to a staff member with teal colored hair. “sham, kindly show usopp and his friends to the guest suites. you will bathe and change before dinner.”
she follows his orders and leads the way. luffy, usopp, nami, and zoro trail behind her and you go to do the same. however, all it takes is a quick glance to stop you dead in your tracks. usually, you weren’t one to stare but klahadore’s face. that stare. so dark and depraved.
“yes, miss?” he asks, holding your gaze. “can i help you?”
“n-no, i…” your throat goes dry as you attempt to recover smoothly. “i just wanted to, um, thank you for being so hospitable.”
his lips curve upwards into a sinister grin. “the pleasure’s all mine.” as if to confirm your worst fear, klahadore uses his palm to readjust his glasses. his beady eyes gauge your reaction closely.
the familiar gesture sends chills down your spine. appearance-wise, he had changed drastically but his aura was still just as menacing as you remember it. he was still the corrupt pirate captain you used to serve under. you feel like a weak and helpless subordinate all over again.
“klahadore!” giggles kaya. “you’re smiling! that’s certainly a rarity.”
he hums. “i’ve simply come to the realization that having guests once in a while can truly be a delight.”
his sickeningly sweet tone makes your stomach turn. just the fact that you were standing in front of him – captain kuro – again after all these years was nauseating in itself. last you’d heard he had died at the hands of captain morgan. how was this even possible? then again, he wasn’t dubbed kuro of a hundred plans for no reason. he always had a trick or two up his sleeve. you assumed this was no different.
“hey, you comin’?”
you turn around to see zoro waiting for you. he meets your gaze for a moment. the softness of his eyes is a stark contrast to kuro’s. it’s a breath of fresh air. he then shifts his attention to your former captain and you swear his eyes darken.
“yeah, sorry,” you mumble, trying not to look shaken as you walk up the steps.
zoro follows behind you, this time closer than before.
“why would anybody even need this many clothes?”
“it’s not about need with these people, luffy. it’s about want,” nami spits, thumbing through the various fabrics on the wall.
“at least she’s rich and nice,” luffy replies, innocently.
nami rolls her eyes. “yeah, letting us stay for dinner must be her idea of charity work.”
“what are we even supposed to wear?” luffy continues, uninterested in nami’s criticism of the rich.
“anything you want. when are you ever going to get the opportunity to wear things this nice?”
you step out from behind the changing board where you’d swapped out your old tee and cargo skirt for an elegant satin dress. it was a stunning shade of olive green and frilly lace decorated the edges. not to mention, it hugged your curves in all the right ways.
nami’s eyes widen. “see, she’s got the right idea. you look amazing.”
you smile, bashfully. “honestly, i feel amazing.”
“you look the same to me,” your captain shrugs.
nami shoots him a death glare but you intervene before she can scold him.
“way to keep me humble, luffy.”
“no problem!”
at that exact moment, a freshly showered zoro arrives donning a silk robe. he eyes the multitude of garments that cover every inch of the room, not particularly impressed.
“there you are. don’t you think she looks nice?” nami asks him, gesturing towards you. she doesn’t notice how you shrink under zoro’s gaze. neither does he, as his eyes take their time raking over you, from top to bottom.
he hums. “suits you.” with that, he sets off towards a chair in the corner of the room.
“seriously?” sighs nami, exasperated. “are you two physically unable to give compliments or something?”
“hey, doesn’t that butler seem familiar to you guys?” zoro asks, promptly ignoring nami’s complaint.
his question causes your breath to hitch. you’d pushed the kuro problem to the back of your mind while you were in search of a suitable dinner outfit. you figured that as long as your crew was by your side, he wouldn’t dare try anything. and even if he did… well, you’d seen what had happened to axe-hand morgan and buggy.
“yeah, i think he was at the last dinner party i attended,” nami replies sarcastically, taking a handful of dresses behind the changing board.
as he takes a seat, zoro grumbles, “i swear i’ve seen him before.”
“where?” you can’t help but ask, fiddling with the lace on the neckline of your dress.
“so far, i’ve got two suspicions. a wanted poster or funky bar on mirrorball island. you ever been?”
you know zoro’s teasing you, judging by the grin on his face. after all, funky bar was known to get insanely rowdy; never would he imagine finding someone as gentle as you there. but what he didn’t know is that it happened to be one of kuro’s favorite bars. per his request, you and the rest of the black cat pirates frequented it often, so he was more than likely right about having seen kuro there. he’d probably even seen you in passing, once or twice. thankfully, he doesn’t seem to have any recollection of that.
the thought of zoro knowing about your past forms a knot in the pit of your stomach. would he think less of you for having joined such a ruthless crew at one point in your life? what if it put a strain on the friendship you’d worked so hard to form?
“i’ve, uh, heard of it,” you decide to reply, pushing down your worries for the time being.
he tilts his head slightly, thinking out loud. “then again, i have seen a lot of wanted posters and bars in my time as a pirate hunter.”
you feel a grin creep onto your face. “probably more bars than posters, huh?”
zoro mirrors your smile. “shut up.”
by the time dinner rolls around, the entire crew is doing what they do best.
luffy is stuffing his face, nami is attempting to swindle one of the staff, zoro is hanging by the drinks, and you’re hanging by zoro.
“hey zoro, you gotta try this!” luffy calls through a mouthful of food.
“i’ve got all i need right here,” he mutters, taking a swig out of his champagne flute.
“you know, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you choke down something that isn’t alcohol,” you comment, watching the way he downs the glass in one go.
dryly, he replies, “that’s because i haven’t.”
“very on brand.”
“ladies and gentlemen,” calls out that voice from the top of the stairs. “may i present… miss kaya.”
arm in arm, kuro and kaya walk down the steps, all eyes on the birthday girl and her stunning gown. well, except you. your eyes never leave the so-called butler by her side. your jaw clenches when he has the audacity to meet your gaze and hold it. shameless bastard.
once they reach the bottom, merry leads kaya to the guests while kuro takes his post at the bottom of the stairs… right next to the drink table. before you can think about steering yourself and zoro away, kuro speaks.
“forgive me if i am speaking out of line, madam, but i must inform you. you look positively radiant,” he purrs, soaking in your appearance. he looks ready to pounce.
you can’t stop your eyes from rolling. good to know he’s the same pervert he used to be.
looking between you both and sensing your discomfort, zoro steps in. “and you look familiar.”
kuro’s head stiffly turns to face him, eyes peeling away from you. “highly doubtful, sir.”
“funky bar? mirror ball island?”
“funky bar?” kuro repeats, disgusted. “well, i can assure you i’ve never patronized that type of establishment.”
while it was amusing to see your highly esteemed former captain lie through his teeth, the tension between him and zoro was unbearable.
“well then.” zoro continues with his little interrogation. “ever been on a wanted poster?”
you cringe at his bluntness. sometimes it seemed like he had less of a filter than luffy.
kuro puts on a scandalized face at the question. “sir! such an accusation is highly offensive.” tugging on his collar, he goes to remove himself from zoro’s probing. “now, if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to help prepare the dinner table.”
he leaves, en route to the dining room. zoro’s eyes follow his figure until he disappears, squinting as he racks his brain for any further recollection of this suspicious butler.
you sigh. if zoro was going to continue being so relentless, you were sure the night would end in bloodshed and uncovered secrets.
“keep this coming,” zoro demands, handing the empty wine bottle to sham. she takes it with a glare.
“would it kill you to say please?” you ask, slicing the slab of fish on your plate into smaller pieces.
“the service here is shitty. why should i have to be polite?”
you scowl. “remind me to never have dinner with you again.”
zoro turns to you with that cocky grin of his. “what if i asked nicely?”
his quip makes your heart flutter but you manage to keep your composure. “you can try your luck.”
before he can respond, usopp speaks up. “luffy, isn’t there something that you wanted to talk to kaya about?”
luffy gesticulates enthusiastically with his fork. “oh, yes! usopp told me that you own the whole shipyard.”
“well, actually, my parents founded the shipyard and merry’s been running the business since they… passed. but all that’s about to change. tonight, at midnight, i will become the sole owner.” she smiles somberly.
“well, that’s great,” luffy says, raising his drink at her. “because we want to buy a ship from you.”
“ah, i see. usopp mentioned that you’re sailors.”
“nope, not sailors. we’re pirates!”
you’re certain at least three people at the table choke on their food, yourself included.
“this ought to be good,” zoro mumbles behind his glass.
you’re too busy coughing into your napkin to chastise him for finding this entertaining.
“pirates?” kaya repeats, unsure of how to react.
“yup! we haven’t sailed together for very long but we’ve already defeated an evil clown, raided a marine base, and taken down a captain with an axe! for a hand!” luffy holds up a fist, presumably to impersonate axe-hand morgan.
“sounds a lot like your adventures, usopp,” kaya says, turning to the brunette.
all he can do is laugh dryly. “yeah, that’s… that’s crazy.”
“and we’re just getting started!” luffy continues, climbing up onto the table.
“someone put me out of my misery,” you mumble, looking down at your plate to ignore the secondhand embarrassment.
a tap on your shoulder answers your plea.
turning around, you find yourself face to face with kuro once again. “madam, a word please?”
“might i ask what for?” zoro cuts in before you can so much as think of a response.
kuro offers him the most forced grin you’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing. “i’m afraid that is between the lady and i.”
the swordsman turns to you, scanning your face for any ounce of discomfort. “you okay with that?”
you inhale, figuring it was finally time for you to confront the darkest part of your past. it was silly to assume you would be able to ignore him throughout your entire stay here. besides, you were sure zoro, just like the rest of your crew, would be on standby if kuro got brave enough to try anything. “sure. just… keep an eye out.”
zoro understands completely. truthfully, you didn’t even need to ask – he always looked after you. “got it.”
you push yourself out of your seat and smooth out your dress. you allow kuro to lead you to the doorway – he was smart enough to know that was the farthest you’d let him take you.
“what do you want, klahadore?” you seethe, folding your arms.
he arches a brow. “why must you call me that? it’s ridiculous.”
you tilt your head with faux innocence. “oh? is that not your name? must have misheard.”
he gives you an irritated look, dark eyes drilling into you.
“i remember that look,” you mutter, your memory serving you well. “it’s the same one you’d give me before you’d threaten to slice me to bits with your claws.”
kuro has the audacity to chuckle dryly. “but i never did, did i? although there were certainly times times where i should’ve.”
“what you should be is dead,” you hiss bitterly. “when i heard the news, i knew it was too good to be true.”
“you wound me, kitten,” he drawls, reaching up to fix his glasses.
the condescending nickname makes your skin crawl. it carried so many awful memories of your time spent with the black cat pirates. it reminded you of just how weak kuro viewed you — nothing but a helpless, pitiful kitten in his eyes. typical of the man that abused his authority and treated you with not a single ounce of respect.
he continues, putting on a sweet tone. “after all these years, stuck waiting hand and foot on that spoiled brat, there’s nothing i’d love more than to hear my favorite crew mate say my real name.”
you snap at him. “i’m no crew mate of yours.”
he sighs, dramatically. “sadly, you’re correct. after all, you did slip off the ship the moment we docked in shells town. locating you on an island crawling with marines proved to be nearly impossible. we had no choice but to leave without you.”
“that’s exactly why i chose to escape there.”
“and to this day i can’t for the life of me figure out why you would ever do that. why would you want to leave us? leave me?”
you actually laugh right in his face. “is it really that hard to figure out? you were evil. you threatened and harassed me on a daily basis.”
“so your solution was to join that ragtag crew?” he glances at the table. “it’s pathetic, even for you.”
you lean into his face, lowering your voice down. “i’m happier than i ever was on your shitty crew. every day i wake up grateful that i managed to escape you.”
you see that vein on his forehead bulge before he’s gripping you by the chin. “listen here, you little bitch–”
the shiny silver of a sword slides between you and kuro, coming to rest against his neck. his adam’s apple bobs as he gulps anxiously, releasing you. thanks to zoro’s sword, it seemed as if he finally remembered where he was. you were no longer on his ship, he was no longer allowed to treat you like the dirt he walked on. not without someone noticing, that is.
“why don’t you step away?” zoro offers simply.
that much was a kindness. usually those who found themselves on the end of zoro’s blade(s) weren’t lucky enough to receive a warning. however, the swordsman didn’t wish to cause a scene. at least not when you were right there and everyone was watching with shock from the dinner table.
kuro obliges, stumbling back. he meets kaya’s horrified eyes, feeling ashamed that he allowed his act to slip. surely this would cause some setbacks in his plan. with no excuse for his uncharacteristic behavior, the raven haired man scurries away and up the stairs.
zoro turns and locks eyes with luffy, giving him one singular nod. luffy returns it, jumping out of his seat and going after the butler. quiet murmuring breaks out at the dinner table, everyone surely confused.
sheathing his sword, zoro directs his attention to you once more. “are you alright?” a calloused hand comes up to grip your chin, much like kuro had. however, this time, the touch is gentle. loving, almost. you welcome it.
“yeah, i’m… fine.” your heart is beating out of your chest and it has everything to do with your close proximity to zoro.
he tilts your face around, inspecting every inch of it. once he finishes, he pulls back. his demeanor goes serious once more. “we need to have a talk.”
you nod. “i know. i’ve been keeping some things from you guys and–”
“just tell me what’s been going on,” he demands. “and don’t overcomplicate it. you can be straightforward with me.”
his sincerity makes you start over, this time far more candidly. “klahadore used to be a pirate. i was part of his crew. he was my… captain.”
the shame in your voice pulls at zoro’s heartstrings. didn’t you know there was no reason to feel guilty with him? “is that it?”
you open your mouth to speak but come up empty. all you can do is furrow your eyebrows at his unexpectedly dismissive reaction.
“i knew it,” zoro continues, annoyed. “i knew i’d seen him on a wanted poster before. just didn’t have any proof.”
“wait, so you don’t– you really don’t care?” you ask, still avoiding eye contact. “me being a former black cat pirate doesn’t bother you?”
he shrugs. “you said it yourself. ‘former.’ all that matters is that you got the hell out of there. and away from that creep. would he always put his hands on you like that?”
you blink a couple times, sighing. “his temper was really bad so–”
that seemed to be enough for zoro. “i’ll kill the bastard,” he hisses. “wanted to slice him to bits the moment i saw him grab you.”
though it’s a violent threat, you can’t help but smile. the idea of zoro being so protective that he’d kill a man just for touching you made you blush. pirate love language, you suppose.
“well, i wouldn’t have stopped you,” you tell him, more than ready to see your former captain go.
zoro clicks his tongue. “nah. could’ve stained your new dress with his blood. i never would have been able to forgive myself.”
“so you do have a soft spot,” you tease.
“only for pretty things.”
“do you mean me or the dress?”
now it’s zoro’s turn to become bashful. though, his lack of response is an answer in itself. you can’t help but giggle.
a loud bang from upstairs interrupts your moment with the green-haired man. you assume luffy had gotten his hands on kuro… or vice versa. zoro must be thinking the same thing judging by the way he instinctively rests a hand on the handle of his blade.
“you should go up there,” you tell him. “i’ll stay with kaya.”
he gives you a nod, though he doesn’t make any effort to leave. he stands there like he wants to say something… or do something. before you can think about it too much, you pull him in by the collar and crash your lips onto his. they’re slightly chapped and taste like the wine that’d come from the cellar – it’s pleasant. his large palms come to rest on your lower back; his hold feels tight and secure.
when you finally allow yourself to pull away, you’re biting back a smile. “kick his ass for me.”
“will i get more of that if i do?” asks zoro, wetting his lips. they now taste like the cherry lip gloss you’d borrowed from kaya. he takes a step forward, attempting to close the gap between you two once more.
you shrug, pushing him away by the chest. “go help luffy and we’ll see.”
you both know that means yes.
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𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓮𝓭
【 𝐈 】 , 【 𝐈𝐈 】
pair — octopus siren!reader x pirate!aventurine
wc — ~600
contains — dom top reader, sub bottom char, written with fem reader in mind but it can be seen as gn, porn with plot i guess?, dubcon bordering on noncon, tentacle fucking (duh), choking (only in the start tho), mindbreak, belly bulge, pregnancy mention, violence mention (at the end only)
ah .. i cant believe my first posted fic is avenchan .. x_x even tho my entire theme is argenti .. a little scared of posting my work www ;; either way , i think i busted when i saw this art sob sob . cogs in my brain making out a whole hentai plot .. i wrote this with my dick and not my brain . gomenne avenchan ! youre in the hands of a degenerate ! >_<
he really was the greedy type — despite being covered head to toe in stolen goods, aventurine really just can’t help but steal more, more, and more. those riches were the source of his infamy—and of course, his ego. he was a respected captain, feared, even.
of course, it didn't stop at stealing. the man gambled — be it his life or wealth. and he never lost, not once. lady luck really was always on the captain’s side, huh?
not today.
not when he decided to steal from a siren of all things.
“mnngh—!!” aventurine let out a muffled moan, eyes rolling back. his mouth was restricted with a tentacle — another was snaking around his neck, occasionally squeezing on it. the captain’s legs were pressed up against his chest, of course, restrained. he can’t even remember how many times he’s came.
aventurine, one of the most respected pirates out there, folded like a lawnchair and being fucked like a common whore by a siren.
what a sight.
“ah, are you gonna pass out, captain?” you ask, tone laced with fake pity, tapping on the side of his head a few times, “don’t tap out on me, captain. you said you wanted it, no?”
she wasn’t wrong, either. aventurine was the one who offered himself when he was caught. maybe even steal something once it was over — he wasn’t expecting to be the one on the receiving end, though..
as the tentacle on his mouth and neck finally loosened, the blonde let out a sharp gasp of air afterward — finally. though he went back to those pretty moans as soon as she continued to thrust the one in his hole deeper — loud, lewd squelching noises filling the siren’s cavern.
“you’re so tight. i can feel you squeezing me…” she rubbed on his stomach, a visible bulge on it. the second aventurine’s head drops down to see it, his eyes go wide — very obviously horrified. he didn’t even know he could take that much!
“mnn… look at that, captain,” she started, very much referring to the bump on his abdomen. “it’s so deep in you, huh? ah, i wish i could get you pregnant.”
the captain shook his head rapidly — “ah–! nnh.. no– nonono…” he sobbed.
“don’t worry, captain. not like i can anyway.” you teased, still relentlessly thrusting into him. you pressed a kiss on his cheek, wiping his tears away. he would be kicking you off, trying to get you the fuck off if him if it weren’t for your tentacles restraining all of his limbs. poor thing, how helpless he looked.
he let out a strangled moan, feeling her somehow thrust even deeper. his back arching into such a pretty crescent, tongue starting to loll out with how hard you were going.
dear god, he really did feel like he was going to get pregnant.
his moans were getting louder and louder. not to mention more erotic. you were sure a passerby fisherman would hear him.
“ah, ah, ah, more ♡”
“you want more, captain?” you asked. it was a genuine question, though. the aventurine, completely submitting with a few hard thrusts? the one oh so feared and infamous — you’ve even heard some other sirens talk about him.. and this is how he’s really like? a common slut?
“nngh– yes ♡” he nods, you swore you saw hearts in those gorgeous eyes looking back at you. the ones that looked in disgust and anger at first. “ahn, ah–♡ i wan’ you ♡”
you really did fuck him till he was braindead, huh.
maybe you were glad he didn’t come with a crewmate. you would’ve missed an opportunity and killed this pretty little gem.
hsr masterlist ♥︎
#♱ library of ruins .#♱ rabbit hole .#✸ astral express .#✸ ten stonehearts .#✦ aventurine .#sub aventurine x dom reader#sub character#dom reader#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#hsr smut#sub hsr#aventurine#aventurine x reader#sub aventurine
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