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Whatcha learning in here, huh? Oh, about innovative wear, classic fashion concerns. Alright well, first of all. ironing's a myth. Doesn't work. Oh no, you mean, the Industrial War. Apologies the students say I have the handwriting of a possessed doll. ABBOTT ELEMENTARY Season 4, Episode 9: "Volunteers"

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there's a post going around asking for your most millennial take and mine is that the livejournal icon ecosystem was essential for a certain type of fan and this loss of critical habitat is why the bios of so many people under 25 are Like That

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the gal and i are doing a rewatch and helluva boss is objectively very funny because of the very sweet/sad "i've decided the first guy i ever slept with is my fairy tale prince because fairy tale books are my only context for love so anything that can't be forced into that narrative will be ignored" storyline and then it cuts to that guy and he's like your loser cousin who lives in his van and posts a lot of AI drawings of flaming horses on facebook with captions that say "angle or deville...i'm the most loyal person..until you cross me 💀"

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I need to stop quoting “GOD IS A CHINESE WOMAN” because people think it’s me being cringe hippie-dippie Wagner student in 2012 but is in fact from the funniest man on Instagram, Witch Cop

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honestly i'm a big fan. i also migrated here from a much colder deciduous environment and can turn my head almost all the way around to glare at someone when pissed, so i get it

whenever i see an owl in a palm tree i'm like what is this a crossover episode

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I’ve been stressed that my hair is getting thinner but after carefully inspecting photos of myself at age 19 for several weeks I’ve come to the horrifying conclusion that it was just longer when i was young

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The woman who plays Grace Chasity and is also on those fun internet game shows on Instagram Reels is right. I need to calm down. Literally everything’s fine I’m an adult

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I'm listening to the severance podcast and the creator dan erickson talks about how when pitching it he wanted to leave a bloody coffee mug print on the script for presentation but didn't like how any of the paint looked so while on break from his job of being a doordasher he went and cut blood from his own hand to put on all of the copies. this is exactly the kind of deranged behavior i expect, nay, demand, from the person who came up with severance

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When Joan Didion said “everything goes. I am working very hard at not thinking about how everything goes.”

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There’s an episode of God Cop where the black angel experiences police racism for the first time so he and his white brother the devil have a 90s Nickelodeon conversation about why he was threatened despite being innocent and then they take revenge on institutional racism by beating up a bunch of drug dealers to the song judgement day. which to be fair is a great song. you can tell the lucifer writers really expected to get an NAACP Image award for this

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mr milkshake i'm obsessed with you

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I would like everyone to know that "so what was your bat mitzvah theme?" worked as a flirting line in eighth grade and still works today provided the woman you’re dating is a little drunk

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I fully shrieked and threw my hands up I have such shockingly fragile nerves one time a guy asked if I had been in the military after I screamed at a car backfiring

Inspired by that last post I decided to blast old Kesha songs driving to target only to watch the two cars a foot in front of mine SMASH into each other while “Die Young” was playing