#and they jsut think im their friend | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theenemyod · 5 months ago

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I can't really forget it even though I was eleven when it happened and she was also 11 or possibly even ten and didn't know what she was doing and didn't realise how much it'd hurt me and it didn't realise how much it was affecting me until months later and she still thinks I'm her friend and I don't want to tell her what she did to me.

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dizzybizz · 1 month ago

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mostly jrwi riptide but also @bardace's oc forts is here

#or mostly magma but also a csp gryffon is here #or mostly drew these today but also the caspian from a bit ago is here #qlso help me the riptide has swallowed me once again i djdnt mean for this to happen its jsut the natural progression help me #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #jrwi caspian #jay ferin #niklaus hendrix #friend oc #jrwi gryffon #LISTWN I DOTN THINK GRYFFON SHOULD BE SCULPTED LIKE A MARBLE STATUE MF HES FAT OKAY THABK YOU HES A BEAR PLS PLS PLS #HES AN ACTUAL BEAR ITD BE SO AWESOME W #ifuck im on mobile i cant edit these uh #ITD BE AWESOME IF HE ALSO WAS A BEAR (GAY KIND) YHEAR ME YEAH YEA okah jsut yeamhm ok jm fine #also happy trail for him cus he deserves it #my art #magma #also niklaus w some scruff cus i did it as a joke but then i ended up thinking it made him a million times hotter so it stayed #n i gave him a fun little fit cus i dont ahve a concrete design for him #but also i feel like he keeps showing up in new ones idk #i cant believe im back here I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE STUCK IN DRAWTECTIVES FOR AT LEAST A LITTLE WHILE but then riptide reentered my brain #started a rewatch.... cus why not. n i want to experience it all again n then i can actually catch up. i got to 94 last time.

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ganondoodle · 3 months ago

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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/

#ganondoodles talks #personal #not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure #to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant #the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought #like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc #that kind of thing #also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic #bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine #but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes #(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)

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itgr · 6 months ago

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No actually I will say. The latest Marionetta episode is so good in its depiction of racism and colonialism. SOMEONE DID THEIR RESEARCH. You can tell Miriam learned a lot from Hooky because this whole scene was fucking hard to read and earth-shattering for me

Its also the way Mama Yalizah compares Sahed to an animal that felt. Yeahhhhhh 😶

I don't know. Its such a good depiction of growing up as a poc and constantly being expected to always behave and be palatable because if you weren't, you'd just get your humanity taken away from you for acting "animalistic" or "dangerous" (for being a kid)

I CAN NOW SAY I FUCKING ADORE SAHED. honestly Marionetta hadnt clicked for me quite like HOOKY yet but it's getting there. I liked Sahed but I didn't like him that much (also I feel like a lot of his fans tend to fetishise him a little which I feel like turned me off from him) so I've been more into Kamille and Rainah tbh

Like yes there was that scene where Dotty was embodying white feminism by basically invalidating him and being high key racist and that scene hit and conveyed the feeling of being the only poc in the room well but outside of that. Nothing's really hit for me personally UNTIL THIS. LIKE WOW. JESUS FUCK. I actually adore Sahed so much oh my god. He's done nothing wrong ever ive decided/j

#I DOBT TALK A LOT ABOUT MARIONETTA BUT THIS EPISODE MADE ME AND A FRIEND OF MINE LOSE OUR SHIT IN DMS AND GET EMOTIONAL SO. SOOO YEAH #YOU like sahed because hes hot. I like him because he has racism related trauma AND hes hot. we're not the same #<- FOR LEGAL REASONS THIS IS A JOKE. i dont care much tbh. this episode just hit #im just really invested in the plot now #webtoon #marionetta #i do a bit of speaking <3 #liveblogging #<- ??? eh? more like my thoughts #also i like dotty. i jsut think shes also really flawed and kind of racist. doesn't mean you cant like her

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alterouslyinlove · 1 year ago

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how to get validation without seeming annoying or making it obvious that you need validation to survive. puter do you hear me

#🌀#vent #does he secretly not love me anymore who knows i sure dont #like everything is fine something jsut feels off and i cant put my finger on it #she didnt even do anything for me to think this im just paranoid #like i semi recently had a falling out with a ‘friend’ and its made my trust issues way worse #i cant tell how people feel and it makes me constantly worried about what everyone thinks of me #help

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sorrowsaint · 8 months ago

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youtube

if you arnte playing scrimp music i dont wanna HEAR it.

#im normalest girl ever. i jsut yknow. whne max left the diner he left sonething behind i think and it was a little cgocolate candy #and i thought oh ill rturn it to him smiling emoji but i realized it was a FERN candy.#... so i ate it because im NERVOUS baout talking to women who i love so much and will DIE if i hurt #prollby shouldnt have done it #i feel like my head is too full #i should call her #no i shouldnt #man i fumbled a bad bitch :(#which 1? yeah #oh waiy shoot #b*tch #if it helps 2 know all my friend son tumblr dot com im home laying on the floor in my bedroom.#mom made me taquitos #Youtube

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captainshyguy · 1 month ago

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[pacing] no but actually what did they put in close wars maul to make him so hot like what was that

#like the answer is passion obviously (and sam witwer voice) but it still makes me climb the walls lol #like its genuinely insane to me watching the maul episodes like i said this to my friends bu like #everything with him feels so indulgent #the animation the expresions the voice acting the delivery the Everything #like it feels like these peopel are just as excited to show us him #idk jsut like AUGH. AUGH [GNAWS ON THE BARS OF MY CAGE]#its interesting how like...hmmm how do i phrase this #i love rex more- obviously. but in the back of my mind with his animation im lwys kinda sitting here like #'you do not look 20-26 like ur supposed to man' and like dont get me wrong. still hot (though without the helmet mayb like post s3 ehehe)#(side note rex is just as hot with the helmet. sometimes hotter. sometmes the other way around but like. sometimes hotter. im right)#still [stares at him carnally] but i think the him in my minds eye simulatneously looks like show him but a little younger looking lol #whilst i dont have that caveat with maul i need no compartmentalisation (however small)#so instead i just watch like eeeoeuouoguhouogeuouuhh #(which to be fair i do with rex too but maul is in a lot less episodes so they really drive him in. so it feels like big induglent treat)#luke rambles #god im gonna tag this for archival purposes but ik this'll end up in the tgs KGDNSGJSGDS ah well #sw #tcw #maul #i will also say specifically tcw maul like rebels maul is fine but he loses a lot of his cuntiness and eatability persoanlly #which is fine its mostly the rebels animations fault lbr

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professionaljester · 2 months ago

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love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time

#abc shut it #im tired of fighting it and trying to participate in life when it feels like i dont exist #love being lonely and then being told its due to my bad mental health so i pretend it doesnt affect me and i try and be myself #and no one likes me and i dont exist unless i remind people im a person so its kinda like #at a point where its not just suicidal ideation #its just a situation of /when/ and not if haha #ive been alive for 26 years and 20 of those have been exhausting as hell im ready to be done #exhausting and lonely and isolating im sick of it #i try and i try and my life doesnt get better or anymore worth living #and when i vent abt it i get told i need to try harder and im not trying at all and i need to stop being so depressed #its hard to not be depressed when the universe gives everyone around me a better experiences than me #i feel like im screaming that im here please pay attention #and nothing #i talk and my voice gets ignored or i get talked over #i post online to try and start conversations or make friends and i just get ignored #like do i exist at all to anyone else but myself #im trying to reach out and make friends but none of the ppl i wanna make friends with seem interested in having a conversation with me #i add all these people to discord and message them all the time #but nothing gets passed me sending them messages no one ever fucking messages me first #it feels like no one thinks about me and i dont matter #literally no one gives a fuck what i have to say #or anytime i talked im corrected on SOMETHING i say or i get a belittled in response #i cant do this shit anymore i cant #no one gives a shit about what i have to say and its really coming across that no one likes me #bc if my friends cant text me first or respond to my messages at all #why am i in the wrong feeling like im alone and have no friends when im the only one reaching out ever if i wanna have a conversation #and when i do feel like im allowed to talk i just talk and talk and talk and know the people dont give a shit abt what i have to say #i jsut feel like im here to be talked at and do things for other people and nothing more #that whenever i have an emotion its wrong and i need to bottle it up #and i dont eve get a chance to learn how to manage my emotions bc it feels like im going to get scolded or belittled for feeling things

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flamboyant-king · 10 months ago

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Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.

I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.

I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.

So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?

#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks #i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me #but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world #tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of #but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets #this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me #i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items #i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em #its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there #the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students #mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression #in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me #no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings #if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask #but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself #and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding.#words #mr octopus #mental health #doodles

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todayisafridaynight · 4 months ago

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i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that��s pretty impressive

ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is

#snap chats #i dont even check twitter specifically for rgg its just that my algorithms been formed that way cause friends send me tweets #on the real though jvALEKJEKL ive always. how you say. played with dolls alone #so being alone online isnt hard or anything particularly 'impressive' to me its just how i roll #ive always lived in my head i guess- with my interests that is. its fun up there vlkeajkla #i still like to hear from other people of course but for the most part im happy with just myself im not all that pressed for others #i think its also just. i have. other interests? so i dont really think i want to look at One Particular Thing that day. at least for tumblr #i MIGHT just cause thats how the day goes but i dont think 'i feel like looking at rgg art today'#whatever i see I See and that'll be that yk i love a lot of things and think of a lot of things #evidently SOME things take a hold of me more than others- or ill wanna be more public bout it at least #but thats jsut cause i just feel SO MUCH for Whatever Thing It Is At The Time that i want to share it. so then i do jvlskjs #with that in mind can i really say im 'in' a fandom when i dont particularly interact with it LMAO #again always happy to do so but im like an estranged uncle if anything #come over once a year to drop gifts off then i leave. ill still respond to holiday cards though if theyre sent #also for discussions ill usually just talk to my brother about it since he'll usually be The Main Sponge for my rambling LOLOL #god's strongest soldier i promise i try to hold back but im afraid i feel my brain physically tickle my skull #my brother always has to watch in real time me be consumed by a piece of media. like its a symbiote its really funny #cause at this point we'll meet in the kitchen and ill start like 'you know whats really funny..'#and he'll just. 'ok so who's it about today' LIKE PLEAAAASSSEEE. anyways prepare for my ninth 90 minute lecture about This Character #i also have a friend that i talk about my interests with- not all the time but enough that im like. Yeah Im Good Talkin Bout This #like the dopamine in my brain is activated JUST enough when i get to have quick short convos bout it with her #honestly maybe i should use my blacklisted main and rb ALL of my sideblog posts there #just so the people following that can Also witness me be consumed in real time <- will not do this

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the-pea-and-the-sun · 3 months ago

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chat what do u do when it kinda seems like a girl likes u

#“ermmmm ask her out” *INCORRECT BUZZER* its not that simople #i feel like once i got a bit of self confidence i started realizing this actually does happen sometimes #but everytime i realize i dont do nothing abt it so nothing happens #and tbh im bad at reciprocating #learned to tone down my rabid love and attraction to my friends but now i think i went too far in the other direction #it isnt even just “how do u pull” question either its more like. hey do u like me if not no problem if so #then i like u too but maybe not the way u like me. but not like jsut friends either im just not really a boyfriend type of guy #not that im not into doing bf things im just probably no substitute for a boyfriend yk. unless you dont want a boyfriend then im perfect?#umm but not like in a im not capable of affection type of way i can be affectionate. too affectionate even. um #idk man. the convo wouldnt even start w “do u like me” i feel like id have to start with “do u know what a qpr is”#theres so many layers to this onion man. id like to just be friends first an see where that goes #but i kinda feel like ive fumbled like five hot people that way #at least im still friends w some of them :) BUT NOT ALL OF THEM !!#basically its like. should i pursue long term friendship or short term fun. also really really dont wanna hurt anyones feelings #is this a vent. im not rly upset im just kinda down bad and frustrated #also im high 👍 and the heatwave is slowing my cognitive functions i think

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neolxzr · 1 day ago

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hello tumblr dot com hope you have been well. if youve been wondering what ive been up to in my absence the answer is turning me and my friends into mha characters. so whoever was betting on that please collect your check

#lazers art #mha #bnha #my hero academia #oc art #mha oc art #hi. yes. i gained another hyperfixation. NO ONES SHOCKED #dude this oc shit is awesome why wasnt i doing this before #i jsut get to make up shit and then yap about it to my girlfriend and my best friend and then they yap back at me #beautiful world we live in #anyways. very subtle tasteful bkdk in this post #theyve invaded my brain #i dont actually tweet anything on twitter but if yall saw my twitter its like at least half bkdk art retweets #feeling cool and normal #more mha art at some point???maybe #im definitely not gonna stop thinking about it anytime soon so #i love mha and im gonna make it everyone elses problem idc!!!!! im not sorry about it!!!!!!!#and by i love it i mean i love like 70% of it and i ignore everything else that i dont like❤️#431 isnt real it cant hurt you

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dizzybizz · 11 months ago

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sleepy gill and gill with the bubbled evil cat

#hi remember when i thought i was in for a really bad bout of hsr fixation. lets see how thats going.. lets just check in and #oh . oh no. oh this was. this wasnt the plan. oh no #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #gill in pjs got to me ok. gill fighting in pjs got to me. the thought of gill sleeping in a barrel of water with pjs on got to me.#wheni tell you this fkn podcast is the only thing ive been thinking abt for the past few days dude what thef uck #theyre all so stupid they get up to so much bs its fkn great i lvoe the three of them so mcuh WHEHhghh >:'O #my art #i keep nearly forgetting that tag help???#ive slowly been getting used to drawing them jsut you wait til i feel good abt the designs n shit ok its gonna be epic or smth #oop s its 1am soon whoopsies ehehee but like ..... the dumbasses... theyre in my head..#there are so many stupid scenes i want to draw 😭😭😭😭😭#im sorry to. my friends. for jsut . yknow. and everyone really #i wasnt ready for this 😭 idk what happened i just started going through eps so quickly all of a sudden and ive gone through like 12 eps in #2-3 days and i feel absolutely insane and i think abt them so much. theyve taken up all my time help

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prophecyofgray · 1 year ago

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i know i say this like every time i consume a new media but guys. guyyys. in other lands is somethign that can be soooo the underland chronicles

#somethgn something child soldiers smth smth elliots desperation for peace and gregors defiance of his role as the warrior #somethign something making an almost impossible choice between two worlds #somethign something uh. elliot would have a blast in the underland. Not with like the constant war and violence #he'd love to write them some treaties and sort their shit out ofc. but mainly he'd want to meet every creature ever #HE'D LEARN ALL THEIR LANGUAGES!#him and hazard would have a blast with that #luxa and serene would be the coolest friends in the whole world #sorry this started out with me comparing narrative devices and themes but now im just pairing characters off together. but like.#what a CROSSOVER it would be. sorry i know i know im crazy #actually luxa and luke would get along well i think. idk. im jsut saying things now #goodnight #the underland chronicles #in other lands #i love making niche posts <3 #audie talks #audie reads

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girlivealwaysbean · 2 years ago

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spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

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boyybites · 2 years ago

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Wanted a dog man suited to my tastes so here's Puppy, ready to chew anyone and everyone out and stick a knife in the next bitch that tries to pull on his harness.

#sfw furry #furry anthro #furry oc #art tag #character ref #oc: puppy #his colors are so good i peaked here i think #his coworker (friend) got him the harness as a gag gift #but jokes on him its like a thunder shirt and he enjoys it thoroughly but will throttle anyone who says he does #just to clarify because i feel the need to #there's nothing sexy going on with the harness #i jsut like how it looks and shit so i drew it thats all #i dont expect weird shit from you guys since yall are good about being normal im just throwing it out here #just because #ok thats all its cold and i need to be in bed bye yall #oh and if anyone wants to send me asks about my ocs i am here c:

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