#im sorry to. my friends. for jsut . yknow. and everyone really

[dizzybizz]

sleepy gill and gill with the bubbled evil cat

[vyladromeave]

SHABOWKNIGHT HEADCANONS PLASTERBOATS

This is how Shabowknights work in my brain. It just is. 

(Warning this is super long. like really long. its literally like 69k+ words im not kid. ding. i did include a couple poupble to help break up the bup the text. so. good lick.)

BECOMING A SHADOWKNIGHT

There is only one requirement for a person to become a shadowknight: you gotta feel it. you gotta reel it. you gotta feel it in the heart of the cards. sometimes ur having a rough day and youknow what thats fine. the shadowlord is totally there for you. hes your homie. your bro. your bromie. he can be anything you want him to be. but most importantly he is here for YOU. hes the cool boss. he lets you slack off on fridays, he puts slightly outdated memes in his powerpoint presentations. all for you. you’re welcome.

Now I hear what you’re thinking. What happens when the Shadowlord has a bad day? He can’t always be there for you, right? Wrong. The Shadowlord is on that grind, as the kids say. The grind never stops. no breaks. Stops? no stops. the only thing the Shadowlord is putting a stop to is ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇ ʀᴜ'ᴀᴜɴ ʀᴇɢɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʟʟᴀɢᴇ-ʟᴏʀᴅ sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴏᴠᴇʀɴs ɪᴛ. Hes up all night and all day, working hard for you. give him a big thank you.

Not convinced? here’s a cool diagram he made for you. this could be us. you could be partially dead BUT holding hands with your best bro the Shadowlord. and really, what’s better than that? ghat? yeah? no. nothing. nothing is better. look at this diagram and fucking weep.

•

SHADOWKNIGHTS AND IMMORTALITY

All Shadowknights are immortal, as in immune to giving a shit. they just dont give a shit. they can just sit around for hours not giving a shit. do you give a shit? you shouldnt. you shoulding. houlding. hold mushrrom. thats what you should be doing right now. what are you waiting for? well???????????

If you were a Shadowknight, you could be holding a mushroom right now. That’s right. a whole mushroom just for you. but you arent. so you wont. why not? what’s stopping you? pledging your undying allegiance to the Shadowlord isnt so bad, we promise. it rocks, actually. we have pizza parties at the end of every month. does your employer hold pizza parties at the end of every month? I didn’t fucking think so.

Now I know what you’re thinking. But I dont waaaannnaaa kill the person I love the most! Well guess what? Sometimes you have to make hard decisions in life. Which is why you’re lucky that this decision is actually an easy one! I mean think about it, end of the month pizza party, mortal emotional attatchments. attachemnts. atatchments. fuck. however you spell it. Which one sounds cool as hell? Thats right. I don’t even have to say it. you know the answer. you already know the answer. i put it in your breain and it stays there.

•

Your favorite pizza topping.

What do you want on your pizza? I know you’re technically not one of the bros yet, but theres no way you wont be after all this, so I figured I’d go ahead and get your order down. Yeah i know the pizza party is a month away. im not ordering it right now. im ordering it later. that way its still fresh when it shows up. 

Although the delivery times out here in the nether kinda stink if I’m being honest. dont tell the shadowlord I said that though. he puts in a lot of time and effort to making sure everything is cool down here and like, really he doesn’t need to worry about the whole pizza delivery thing. like he already puts in so much time, the least i can do is cover the pizza thing yknow? 

I actually made the pizzas one month. have you ever made hundreds of personal pan custom pepperoni pizzas. its a lot of work. seriously. I kept burning them. so many burnt personal pan piping hot pipper pepper pepperoni personal pan personal pizzas. luckily im immune to fire, and i can never die. if you were one of the bros, you could be too. here’s your pizza.

•

Consuming the Pizza

Go on. eat it. I made it for you. what do you mean when did I have time to make a pizza? just now, while we were talking. didn’t you notice? maybe not. I’m good at making pizzas quickly now. ive had a lot of practice. maybe we could make some personal pan pinni mini pan pepperoni pizzas togethethter sometime.

oh my god. wait. im an idiot. im a fool. i was so focused on making you your personal pan pipini piziza pepperoni peper piza that i didnt even hear what you wanted for your toppings. im so sorry. oh my gosh im so sorry. i really didn’t mean to, i just got caught up in the moment. really. i promise. i know this reflects really badly on the whole shadowknight thing, but i promise this is a rare occasion. really. all the bros here in the nether are really kind and thoughtful, so stuff like this rarely ever happens. I really hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

maybe its better that we dont have personal pipizini personal pan papaza pizzas. im not actually that good at making the pizazis. i lied. im sorry. im so sorry. this doesnt normally happen. i just wanted to sound cool. its been so long since someone’s considered joining the bros, i just wanted you to really like me. im so sorry. oh my god. im so sorry.

•

A Reformed Pizza

The pizza is metaphorical. we’re still friends, right? we’re still bros? future potential bros? the potential kinetic mechanical energy of bros? thats a little science joke for you, whwhwhere i just said the science words. I havent learned about science in a while, ive been stuck down here making personal pan pizzazos for a while. im sorry about the pizza thing again, by the way. i tossed  your bad personal pan pizza in the lava pool over there to make up for how sucks it was. it was really bad. yeah. its probably a good thing that nobody ate it.

A Sturdier Pizza

The pizza is literal. We can make a new pizza. together. with my powers and yours combined. give me your hand. we are holding hands now. these are the hands that will make a new pizza. together. we can do it if we believe. do you believe? in our new world? in our now pizza? you should. you should believe. you better fucking believe it.

look at thsi shit. ohhhhooooooollyf uck. look at that pizza. holy shit. look at that piza. holy shit. balls.

•

Natural Abiblibties

sorry im still jsut thinkginbg aboutt he pizza. homygod. holy shit. did youz seetheat pizza. did you see it. arey you looking. at the pizza. ohmygodc. look at thits. is. its. the pizza. its fucking perfect look at it. ive never made a pizza like that before. we diddit tofgotehr. we did it. the pizza. we did it.

iknow itsnoth the end of the month yet but iwant to have a pizza party. lets do it again. we’re strong enough. we can take on anything tofeger. antyhign. even pizza. especially pizaz. we can. iknow you dont believe it but its strue. lets do it again. lets make a pizza one more time. what dtopping do you want to put on it this time? mushrrom? we can do mushrrom.

here. im handing you a mushrrom. you can put it on the pizza. its a topping. there are many toppings you can put on pizza. you can put on extra cheese too. then iets ecxtra cheesy. cheesy peezy. pizza.

lets do it together.

•

Additional Pizzas

we’ve made so many pizzas. thatslike two whole pizzas. wholy fuck. holy shit. thats twho whole pizzas. bro. thats great! thats amazing! thats two more pizzas than we had before. like seriously we set our mind to the piizza and our brain to the pizza and you smush it and you sus it and then you pizza. woaw! pizza. pizza.

what if we made more pizzas.we could make a pizza for everyone. everyone could knpow of our pizzas. everyone could be just as happy as us. isnt that great? isnt that amazing? we could all pizzas. we could ALL pizzas.

hold on. im calling the bros. they need to know. they need to pizza. ive got two bros right here ready for a pizza. do you think we can do it. thats double the pizza we’ve already made. it could be tough. i know this is a lot of pressure, and it really means a lot to me, but its ok if you want to back down now. pizza is a lot of work. its hard work. i know it is. you know it now too. but we can pizza. we can pizza together.

•

THANK YOU FOR PIZZA!

:) the bros really enjoyed the pizza. thanks for helping me make pizza very appreciate very cool. pizza. im handing you a pizza coupon right now i am folding it into your hand. what store does it go to? dont worry about that. its just a coupon for pizza, you dont have to worry about the specifics. they’ll know what to do with it.

they’ll know.

:)

[the-pigeon]

from oldest post to newest i am going to read through all of @ranboo-comm621 ‘s post. by. @nightmare-rivulets . reactions because i think i might cry

‘tubbo helped me fix mine, for as long as he could, anyway’ i dont remember much about the 30day stuff but like. this is something about tubbo’s 3 hour time cap right YEAH i think that its ‘he’s out right now’ like passed out

tubbo and ranboo aren’t close :(

ranboo giving tommy amethyst :)

the barrier burns according to jack.. what is with him and fire? dumbass. also can confirm tubbo is knocked out not-conscious most of the time so thats fun for him i guess

‘the only person i really trust here is philza’ calling it now. bad idea

the person who seems happy... is that charlie :(((( do i have to read him die now :(((((

bonus because tubbo is canonically short.

the vibes of everything right now is saur interesting idk how to describe it but mare (hi assuming your reading this o/) is literally incredible at tone setting. everything feels so.. still. like you know those videos where cups are placed on the edge of a table and they’re fine but they’re on the edgebut like it’s fine. that’s what it feels like. it’s kinda scary

wilbur only talks to phil.. calling it now. they kill each other later

THEY DONT HAVE A SUSTAINABLE FOOD SOURCE these guys are fucked

uh oh i think charlie died

tommy knows about the timer? villain ctommy arc surely... let him be evil. HE TOLD US HE WAS A GOD EARLY ON HELLO?????????????

ok theory time so far tommy is a god, got bored, threw everyone together, knew tubbo would find a way to get them out, so limited his time to 3 hours a day. idk how accurate this is but only time can tell. unless tommy was joking about being a god

charlie is dead :(

tubbo is lighter than expected its because there’s no sustainable food sources oh my god please work on that youre ififiifdsiforefrehfriiiewf

30!ranboo is a capitalist confirmed /lh

ranboo trusts tommy the least my allium duo heart is in shatters JACK LITERALLY KILLED A MAN im o(-( honestly fair though, at least jack seems.. honest.

AMOGUS

yeah tommy seems super suspicious :/ is him disappearing like. logging off. im literally so intrigues by all of this ALSO tommy likes amethyst :]

‘tommy is just testing my patience’ oh em gee allium duo 💖

tubbo spent two of his three hours talking to ranboo. surely. they’re friends now. please.

ranboo imagines them in a different situation and thinks they still wouldn’t be friends... ohohoho if he only kenw.

philza called wilbur his son.. o(-( yeah they’re definitely gonna kill each other

no one has any memories but he feels like they knew each other.. tubbo seems like he remembers. im. pensive on all of this

making a note ranboo has a light weight rain jacket. may draw something later

CANE TIME YOOOOOOOOOO sorry that sounds weird i just. i need a cane but im kinda scared so its cool to see it yknow

THE NETHER?????!!?!?!?!?!!!

there’s no music.. :( wilbur and tubbo and jack sing and thats. :’)

YEAH THATS MY THEORY TOO!! they’re bugs in a container and tomym is the weird little girl poking holes in the roof and trying to burn them with a magnifying glass

HE’S KILLED SOMEONE WHY DOES HE REMEMBER THAT WHY THE FUCK SI THAT JSUT CASUAL HELLW ATSH WHAT IS HAPENGIN WHAT TEH FUCK HELOOO????

he doesnt remember who he killed. doesn’t want to talk about it. im.... whattttew whaaat the fuck is going on

sleeping on the floor near tubbo for the company.. fuck

another note that ranboo has black hair that looks brown in light.

tubbo and ranboo are friends now :] they’re not but in my head they are and that’s what counts :]

the vibes are off :/

the copper clock isn’t oxidising.. hmmmmmmmm its because tommy made it and he. waxed it. because he likes honey. that my bet

tubbo’s not waking up O-O

PENIS?!!?!??!????!??!?!?!!?!?!??!

wait is tubbo typing now?? omg..

TUBBO IS TYPING

tubbo and aranboo are so funny oeoeok otme PHILAND WLBRU ARE DEAD/????????? BTOH OF THEM??????????? ELFO WHT TE KO

tommy keeps saying he can fix it....

shit phil is gone. the only person ranboo said he trusted and the most responsible and the person he spent most of his time with im. holy shit it’s so. this whole thing is so fucked up and i cant stop readin it

bite god

omg tommy would kick ranboo <3 allium duo 💖❤💞

wilbur is back ?

OH RIGHT SNEEG SNAG IS HERE i wonder where he is. and what he’s doing. wilbur is indeed back but he’s not talking an dimmmmm. suspicious of everything. guess tommy did fix it?

it feels cold in the fishing pool area

tubbo doesn’t know how much he has to defend him 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im gonna lose it are they friends yet im actually going crazy reading this.

omg he’s hallucinating.. he’s just like me fr

TUBBO AND RANBOO ARE CLOSER LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

sneeg snag

sneeg snag is discomforting :(

phil ghost 😳 this poor kid is gonna lose it like this. i want to wrap him in a. blanket. let him sleep on a mattress. 

phil said tubbo probably woudn’t survive long is actually pretty funny. he survived longer than you did dickhead

i’ve already mentioned the whole tone setting thing but im brinign it back right now because im legitimately worried rn. everything is just so concerning an. and im scared for whats gonna happen at the end. “thats hat makes me restless, knowing theres a chance to do something but never really fix it” holy shit

wish tommy would talk to him ......

time isnt meant to be exciting. what does phil know

TUBBO AND RANBOO ARE FRIENDS LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

wilbur’s dead again what the fuck. it was ranboo’s fault? god this poor kid. i dont remember if i mentioned it but he said the guilt keeps him up at night. fuck dude

he’s building wilbur’s grave o(-(

this whole thing is so fucked up. jack is gone, tommy is gone, tubbo’s defeated, ranboo’s tired. im :(

“i hope wherever i go, i can see tubbo and phil” what if i. died

he likes the sound of dogs

god that made me realise there’s no. no life there. no animals. barely any people. lot’s of people died. all the trees have been cut down. most people are living underground. it’s so hopeless. everything just feels. empty. this is terrifying

JACK IS DEAD????????????

there’s only four people left alive. sneeg and tommy are never around. he’s just alone.

“it’s a little terrifying to imagine that all this was for nothing” << TAHT’S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT it’s all hopeless. that’s the tone that’s so. its saur.. holy shit. it’s like no matter how much they do, the timer will still tick down. they cant stop it. time isn’t exciting.

killed someone with blond hair.. drowning.. but not himself..

okay updates theory before the end, ranboo drowned tommy, killing him. tomym comes back with like.. god powers?? takes all his friends and traps them in a hopeless boundary, making sure everyone died except for ranboo until the very end. to like. torture him. idk if that’s accurate. but it’s my first thought

tubbo had a dream they were married. im gonna kill someone.

“i don’t laugh very often but tubbo’s a funny person” IM GONNA KILL SOMEONE

only a few hours left..

time isn’t meant to be exciting but you all were

okay im done and im distraught. idk if i’ll read the ao3 fic because it’s not done and i struggle to. read long things. but i’ll give it a day or two.

idk if mare is reading this but.. that was actually really fucking cool :O

[madeintimeland]

im oversharing this got long sorry. just reminscing on shit ive thought about a million times over again

theres so much art i want to create and so little motivation. i should start smoking weed again bc every time im high i get my best ideas or at least like, it takes away the layer of film over my brain that stops me from being able to come up with creative ideas, but also im scared its going to send me into mental hell again. like i need to be in a perfect state for it lest i fear im going to invoke my months long existential crisis again and i Cannot be doing that shit rn. but also i wonder if its going to be worth it anyways if i can create something to leave on this earth again. like ive been so bad at creativity lately like i want to draw and produce things and im bubbling over with energy and i feel the ideas fermenting in the deep recesses of my brain like theyre nestled into the grooves and folds but i cant access them yet. and i know i can if im stoned. i might turn into a hermit hunched over my tablet all hours of the day just making shit tbh. i absorb so much of the things around me and i know if i try to make something now its going to basically be direct copies of the things i saw but if im high im sure i can actually create something new and beautiful. im scared of being intoxicated again but i was scared to drink again too and i got drunk and proceeded to love it and want to drink every single day because surprise surprise i have alcoholism coded into my dna and consequentially have an addictive personality in general. which is why i felt like my life was useless without weed. all up until i was finally able to get my hands on a stash that would let me smoke whenever i want versus when i would get a small amount every couple of months and completely and utterly fail at ratioing it out and binge it all and then have ridiculously introspective trips where id start to go a little crazy at the end (i have a distinct memory of looking at a meme that had a woman on it and thinking ‘jesus christ... what the fuck is that’ and then spiraled into thinking about how life is pointless but i didnt have enough weed to continue with that train of thought and if i did i may have had my crisis a lot earlier, it was just inevitable) i just felt like being high was the only time i could actually get in touch with my inner self again. like i used to before the thick clouds of depression and psychosis settled in. but then i finally was able to get high for longer than short bursts of time and it all came to a head where my brain broke and i have existential terror now that i feel im going to not be able to deal with confronting again. but every time i say that it never ends up staying permanently, it comes in waves, it all comes in waves. back and forth. i feel beauty in life and then i feel fear. i feel like its all worth it and then i cant stop thinking about the inevitable heat death of the universe and the pointlessness of it all. and then i get a hug or listen to a really good song and i feel like its worth it again. i wonder if this is just a period in my life im not a total stoner or if its actually permanent. anyways point is i want to make so much stuff that my hands ache and my brain rots when i think about how many things inspire me. thats why my aesthetic tag is #inspiration, its been like that for many years now, its stuff that inspires me. but at what point am i going to turn that inspiration into reality? im bad at initiative. my initiative is going to be when i pick up the pot again because im too lethargic and procrastinatey to create the things i want any other time. but when will that be? i cant see a therapist or anything rn and working it out on my own has been mildly successful, not bad, im not spending every single day in terror like i was at this point last year. it started all going away around august after starting in march. march 30th in fact. from then on its been a constant battle with dissociation. funny because just earlier in march was some of the best experiences of my life. i think if lockdown never happened this never would have happened either but at the same time im left wondering how anybody can go through their life without wondering about the meaning of it all and coming out the other side with purpose and resolve. mine was to enjoy myself and find as much beauty and love in life as i can before i die and enhance the lives of the people around me while i can because i feel too small to do anything on a grander scale. and im fine with that, for the most part, but i still get attacked by these waves of thought where i wonder what the purpose of reality is . i always have to smack myself and remind myself no dumbass you already went over this a million times, just enjoy yousrelf while youre here. but when im high its a million times worse cuz the only time i can get my mind off it is when im replacing it with horny thoughts and thats not the only thing i wanna do when im high ofc i want to experience and create and listen to music. but i mean i havent smoked since june. i think the 15th ? i could go back and read my journals to tell exactly when it was but yeah its been almost a year now and i feel like i might have it in me again. i used to love getting high and working on shit so much. some of my best works and most  creative projects and honestly just most enjoyable periods of my life were when i was high. going back to what i was saying about early march 2020 being the best time of my life, idk what it was about me but i was just having a grand old time experiencing absolute beauty playing ark with my friends, feeling so creative and developing new ideas and experiences, and using the freedom and motivation i felt ingame to also want to explore the world irl. i seriously was close to actually finally reading my survival manual and start camping and shit and i wanted to visit my relatives in their hella secluded farmhouse in the middle of fuck nowhere kansas, cuz i did visit there during that time period and i loved it to death, i felt so free. two different relatives actually and they both had that same aesthetic about them. of course they were horribly racist but i mean, thats rural kansas for you. i just wanted to camp in their woods. its funny because that month was simultaneously the best and worst of my life. all because of weed! if i never started smoking or rather never found a reliable source at that point in my life i wonder how i wouldve turned out? id like to chalk this up to fate that im like this, maybe its for the best, maybe smoking again wont help me but maybe it will. i have a way to ease myself back into it i just need that leap of faith and  bravery like i felt when i was drinking again. its funny because i used to be such a fucking druggie and i wanted to get high all the time and then after my existential crisis that all just. stopped. i feell ike everyone i know is sick of me talking about it but it really fundamentally changed me on the inside even if it doesnt seem like it much on the outside so i feel its right of me to talk about it sometimes. it makes me feel better at least. like this is jsut a thing t hat happened, not a fated break from the universe i cant come back from yknow? i dunno. ive rambled on way too fucking long and idk if anyones gonna read this. tldr i want to draw and create so many things and i have too many ideas to deal with but i only feel ill be able to unlock my creativity and motivation if im high but due to bad past experiences im terrified to get high again. i mean ive done and made some pretty cool stuff since then but the motivation and ideas are much fewer and far between compared to the absolute deluge i get when im stoned , whether any of my ideas are actually any good or if they were just high ramblings is up to debate but i think it gave me a really good way of looking at things and i made some pretty cool stuff and i miss it a lot but i dont know if going back to it is going to be a mistake or not and im not brave enough to find out if itll hurt me again or if im ready. yyyyaaaayyyyy hahahaha ✌

[shakespearean-tc]

Last day of school post?

Originally posted July 3rd, 2019 Ok so i guess it wasnt my official last dayof school but it was like a month ago and i decided to,,, talk about it??? since i never did and it was literally like ugh my heART this is basically more stuff about A so if you arent interested ignore this post

So,,, the last day that i really went to school was this thing that ,,,, idk if other schools do it but its lagoon day where the seniors go to Lagoon and like half the teachers go to chaperone, right??? So i got there early because I always get to school early and I saw a familiar mess of brown hair and i just got hype??? My heart practically did the happy emote and he turned around and smiled really big and he was like “M!!!! Hi!” and he waved and stuff then he went up the stairs because he was heading to the class he was subbing for (that was before class)

Later my friends came to school and i was just kinda sitting there being a dork and daydreaming and then i was like “OH YEAH A is here!!!” and my theatre friend was really happy yknow and we jsut talked for a while and i was like “man i wish he was subbing for my french teacher, but i know hes not because she didnt hire a substitue because she knew like no one would come” and so i got a little sad but yknow i knew id see him at lunch and stuff

well the bell rang and i headed up stairs to the french room and it was empty from what i saw so i popped my head in and GUESS WHO WAS SITTING AT THE DESK

YUP YOU GUESSED IT

So i played it cool because i can totally do that yknow and just kinda leaned against the doorframe and i was like “well, fancy seeing you here.” and he looked up and smiled again and laughed and he was like “are you following me?” and i laughed and sat down in my desk and i asked him how he was etc etc and we jsut talked for a while until the bell rang signaling that class was to start but??? no one walked in??? and so i was talking to him when two of my friends walked in and stuff and so we just?? sat and played cards all period long?? i say this but we actually (A and I) broke into song because I mentioned this musical I really love (Hadestown) and A kinda stared at me for a minute and his eyes went wide and the conversation went as such:

A: “Wait, you like Hadestown?” Me: “Yeah? I LOVE Hadestown.” A: “I… I love Hadestown too! I just didn’t know that anyone liked it.” Me: “Okay, wait- What’s your favorite song?” A: “Well, Way Down Hadestown is SUPER great, but the one I really love is Wait for Me or Hey, Little Songbird. I wish I had Patrick Page’s voice. What about you?” Me: “Hey, Little Songbird is literally one of my favorites. Also same?? I wish I could sing as good as anyone in the cast.” A: *he smiled and started singing it (his vocal range is tenor so he hiked up the key and we changed the tune a bit because yes)*

So we literally ran around the room singing Hey, Little Songbird and like, 17 other songs from miscellaneous musicals. My other friends joined in too and it was so much fun

Obviously, we were still in school, and so that class period had to end ;-; I had Physics next and I was whining to him how I really didn’t want to go. He turned to me and said “Listen. You’ve gotta go to class M. If you actually get permission from your teacher to come back, then fine. But I don’t want you to skip class because you missed me.” I agreed, begrudgingly and headed to Physics, which was literally across the hall.

I went in talked to my teacher and was back in the french room in like under 15 minutes

The classroom was empty and he was just sitting at the teachers desk playing pokemon on his frigging nintendo ds and i laughed and he looked up and was like “oh hey, i didnt think you’d be back” i told him my physics teacher told me i could leave since,,, she doesnt really like me and i had already done everything i needed to do like fr its the end of the school year why would she want me to hang out in her class for an hour???

anyway i hopped up onto the table and we just,,, talked??? about everything??

I told him I was super bummed about school ending and not being able to go to Drama class everyday. He told me he was worried because him and his girlfriend were having a lot of issues lately and he was struggling with knowing to stick it out or just break it off. I told him that I was not gonna influence his decision whatsoever, but that whatever he chose,,, he needed to keep in mind that HIS mental and physical health was the most important at this point. We eventually brushed that subject away because I told him I would be of no help at all bc,,, ive like never been in a healthy relationship so i didnt know what was right and what was wrong - i dont remember how but i think he asked me how class was going and what classes i was going to be happy to be done with and i was like “hOOOO BOI HISTORY CLASS fOR SURE” and he kinda laughed and was like,,, “what why”

and i just weNT OFF telling him how trashy of a class it was and that no one would pay attention and that my teacher would always rant about democrats and liberals and just say all this garbage about how trashy immigrants were and etc etc and he just sighed and he apologised that i had to deal with a teacher like that and we started to talk about some prick in that class that went off about how rape isnt rape if she doesnt outright say no

me and A just,,, bonded over mutual disgust for this kid haha

anyway after that i just kinda,,, decided to lay down on the table bc i was tired and i kinda sighed and stared at the ceiling. I think A could tell something was up with me because he asked me what was wrong and I kinda gave him a “nothing is wrong im fine” kinda mumbled response. of course this is A and he obviously knew i was lying so he asked me again and i jsut kinda started to choke up and I sat up with tears in my eyes. Immediately he was like, “Omg what’s the matter whats up” and I just,, broke down and told him I was super worried about my friend who he knows as well. I told him that I was stressed and that I felt like our friendship was mostly one sided. That I was just there because… I was the one that put everything into our friendship and instead of her giving AND taking as well, it was just her taking and taking and i was left in the dust. I basically poured my heart out to him and told him that I didn’t want to break things off because I didn’t want to hurt her but I told him that my mental health was suffering gREATLY. Of course, he took my advice and shoved it back into my face. It went something like this,,, A: “You need to take care of yourself. You. Come. First. You put everyone else before you, and that’s such an admirable trait, but you need to take care of yourself as well. Your mental health is in danger because you refuse to put yourself first. And you need to. At least, every once in a while. Anyone is lucky to have you care so deeply for them, but… you need to step back and be selfish for a while.” (I kind of flinched when he said selfish, because I have a big issue with that word, and I guess he noticed) “Why do you- You don’t like that word. Selfish. You don’t like it, do you?” Me: “I just… I’ve been called selfish a lot by my family and past friends and romantic… partners…? I don’t like it at all.” A: “You? Selfish?” *he laughs* “Bull. You’re one of, if not THE most selfless people I know. Listen to me. It is OKAY to be selfish sometimes. Not all the time, yeah. But you need to take care of yourself.” Me: “I just… I love my friends so much that I… I’d rather that I be miserable and they be happy, because… then they’re happy. Y’know?” A: *he smiles, but I think it was kinda a sad smile because his eyes looked a little tearful* “M. You have a heart of gold.That’s rare nowadays. In my opinion, it’s a blessing and a curse. You just need to learn to take care of yourself. You are the most important person in your life.” The conversation kind of… fizzled out after that emotional,,, discussion but we did talk about college and I asked him a lot about being a student teacher. The bell rang, we said goodbye and??? That was really it? I visited him at lunch and we ate and talked a lot more because I had a bunch of questions about college (i’ve been thinking about going to the same college that he is because they have a really good teaching program) but that was,,, pretty much it. School’s been over for a while and I just asjdfajf i miss him a lot this post was so  long super super sorry haha have a good day i guess??? end of the post??? how do i finish this whatever goodbye yall haha

[oldmyths]

godddd i know i’m talking so much and on one hand i feel really bad about it bc i hate . having feelings but on the other hand if i don’t talk about it i’ll probably die so here we go

this isnt like my #official review of detective pikachu bc like i did like it for what its worth but it just brought things to the surface and along with other stuff it just kind of. hit at an inopportune time

And then after nearly an hour of my sister and i driving around town looking for a gas station thats open with the doors to our house locked bc everyones gone and we don’t have keys on us only for my mom to reply and say she let my nephew in after i sent over a hundred messages bc (a) my mom and my other sister are always on their phone/have their phone nearby (b) when my sister kelly tried to call them nobody picked up (c) we were running out of gas and were at a part of the city we didn’t recognize at nearly 11pm when kelly has to be at work tomorrow at 7:45

So like needless to say i was a little stressed and upset with my mom (so was kelly bc of other things that i’m not too sure of the details on) AND THEN i read on twitter from this astrology account i follow that started tweeting about being raised by virgos when my moms a virgo and how their kids most likely struggle with empathy and comfort from a distance and cant handle other peoples emotions and like thats what i’ve been saying! the entire god damn time!!!

like i know astrology isnt Real Science whatever that fucking means and that zodiac signs arent personality types and yknow all that shit. but that’s literally what i’ve been saying. among other reasons, being raised by my mom alone in an isolated community made me extremely emotionally Fucked Up because she just didnt talk! about her feelings at all! and then she’d get mad at me for something and i never felt like her child i felt like someone she just bossed around and i know i can’t blame her being a fucking Virgo for that bc she was going through shit with my dad that she didnt deserve to go through along with other shit she had to worry about but i don’t remember a time where i was a kid and i felt her love for me. like i don’t know what that feels like. my mom cares about me i guess and sometimes i feel like she loves me but growing up feeling like your own mother doesn’t love you is really fucked up!!!!

that isnt to say shes a bad person entirely bc she had to go through shit i dont think i should post online along with growing up native on a reserve literally across the road from where she and her siblings had to go to a residential school and dealing with my dad. like. i get it. and its not like i, as a kid, could really comprehend the severity of all that but there isnt an excuse for treating your own fucking kid like an accessory, like a soldier that to listen to you or else youd take away the only thing that passed the time inside the house

and it was hard to listen to an ex-friend of mine say how much she loved virgos bc of this and i know Not All Virgos and im not saying every virgo is personally responsible for my shitty childhood but i just cant listen to someone praise without criticism. i feel like an asshole for saying that too and i know its a shitty thing to say bc if someone said Well I Was Raised By A Sagittarius And I Hate You i would feel pretty bad too. but im not saying i hate virgos. im not saying i hate my mom. despite all of this i love her so much and it hurts to admit that

i just idk please dont misinterpret this as me like idk cancelling virgos or whatever i dont mean for it to come across as that way either. idk if i know virgos personally its jsut really not a great time to be reminded about parent stuff right now

not only bc mothers day but like, watching a movie where the main character had a struggling relationship with their parent, for that parent to be the father, and then my mom not replying when it was Kind Of Really Important for her to respond when she could

and im not saying she should be available 24/7 either i know she has a life but she didn’t even message the GC to say where she was or that she locked the door. neither did my other sister. its just a lack of communication that makes me very upset and i dont like it, especially when my other sister isn’t sleeping at our house that often anymore And when my mom and her boyfriend sometimes don’t come back until 1am or something

im just really emotionally spent and exhausted and all of this parent shit stirred up Emotions that i try to keep under wraps bc i know all of this is irrational and that getting this upset about it is kinda stupid but idk how else to process it.

i dont remember my dads birthday so idk what sign he is but the movies whole theme of reconnecting with ur father figure is like...lol....no thanks... also ow.

sigh idk im sorry for this post i dont want my words to get misconstrued but i also dont know how else i can justify how i feel and im tired

[the-mf-bread-babies]

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

[piinkhair-blog]

so this is a sappy post abt some amazing ppl that i’ve met through this blog/kpop in general. also i swear i’m forgetting some ppl here so if i did... i’m sorry and just know that i love u a whole lot too. this got Longer than i planned so it’s under a readmore oops

#WeirdSquad2k17: i rlly haven’t been in a groupchat this... lovin and accepting in ages and i’m so so thankful that kai asked if i could join yall on kkt because i just love all of you so much??? ur my family??

@ilysmsuga kai bby!!!! listen i think u were my first Real Good Friend that i met through kpop, and you mean the whole world to me. you’re such an amazing and wonderful and caring person, and honestly i’m so happy that i first followed u (even lmao that reason was because you were a boy who was into kpop) and even more happy that kept talking and became such good friends?? i’m still in awe and rlly words can’t proeprly describe how much i love and care for u

@1kimnamjun dari!!!!!!!!!!! i love that ur a smol like me even tho u don’t seem like one yknow.. ur just so full of love and personality and wonderfulness and even when ur dealing with things urself u always seem to find time to help one of us out too, which?? is so nice bc not a lot of ppl out there are like that!! so ur a super star!! i’m glad we’re friends now even if in the beginning u kind of intimidated me dsfdgfh

@1suho kay,,,,, my ghost friend,,, im love u so much even tho we don’t talk too much bUT tht’s okay!!!! ur super awesome and i love tagging u in suho and chanyeol things bc u just... truly love them men... and i love ur all capital reactions to all of it.. except when u retaliate by tagging me in my string bean boyfriend.. the pain.. but!!!!! ur so sweet and nice and i actually applaud u for being able to be one of those ppl who “i’m taking a break for school!!” i admire that a lot..

the fuckin’ snarts/sin squad:

@sapphic2017 @ninczeniks @harrysbumjr +felix, whose url i dont remember i’m lumping all of u together bc i can and literally.... yall know how i feel abt each of u.... i hate that i love all of u as much as i do... i’m the only Voice of Reason and Child of God in this feckin groupchat full of furries and sinners. bUT nonetheless i’m glad that we’ve got our own gc away from.... people... where everyone loves each other and is comfortable!!!! this is one of the longest and best gcs i’ve never been in and i’m so thankful for that, even if it did mutate into This when i started it out as an innocent shadowhunters/eyewitness groupchat

other good friends whom i love a lot and never talk to enough because i’m lame: 

@127cherrybomb i probably talk to u the most on this list but 95% of it is crying abt haechan and the rest of the dream babies... sometimes ten too... but it’s wholesome and good and i never feel like i can’t talk to u about something which is so nice yknow. i love u and glad that we became friends!!

@mygsboy my angst au buddy.... im love u even tho u cause me so much pain and don’t allow me to kill characters (even tho u do it like 5 seconds later adsfdgfhgj) but also!!!! ur such a nice and creative and talented person and also??? ur snapchats are always so aesthetically nice?? teach me ur ways bc mine are all cat pics and filter selfies lmao

@cherryjaehyun mads!!!! every time we talk ur so so nice and i appreciate that we became friends by me asking for makeup opinions yknow.. a pure way to start a friendship.. also thank u for dragging me further into the nct fandom.. it’s been a ride but i also love it a whole lot

@jarpark katherine.. my pd101 buddy at this moment in time.. i’m glad that i have someone that i can scream abt this hellshow with someone who actually gets it and cares yknow?like i didn’t plan on caring that much but u reblogged so much.. i got sucked in and now my heart is broken.. but ur still so nice and funny and jsut such a good person to talk to when we’re not screaming about mnet and how woojin/eunki/jungjung/takada was Wronged

@xiyeoniesgf u started as my lil gay seventeen anon buddy!!! and look at us now :’) friends :’) i love u a whole much and i’m really happy that u came off anon so we could talk more and stuff!! ur super friendly and jsut a really good person who has a lot of good opinions and i really admire that so much

@lgbtkpopmoodboards tyler!!!!!  ur such a great person for so many reasons and i love talking to u bc i always laugh and feel better, which is so nice!! also u always are providing quality content, like heechul is graph or the suju scale post,, and i love that u actualyl go through and update it every now and then according to what fuckery the suju members have been up to as of Late.

@choiseungcheolsbf kris!!!!!! ur so super great for lots of reasons!!! like i love it whenever ur telling me that ur in the stl area and that we have a lot of the same interests, and i also love running the pokemon kpop blog with u bc ur moodboards are always just.. so mind blowingly good,, always. like u did every member of 17 so i’m pretty sure u could take on the world at this point or something and it’d be easy for u to do lmao. but yes!!!! ur a really great and caring person and like.. i’m still thinking abt how u got me that palette just because u wanted to/saw a passive post of me ranting dsfdgfh

[mapleshmaple]

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