#and they both have massive panic spirals about it first)

[scribefindegil]

QPR ekurei is such a great dynamic you are so big brain

LISTEN it's GOOD!!!

My Vision for queerplatonic ekurei is like. it's slow and it's gradual and they don't really talk about it. it's just, you know, Dimple keeps hanging out around Spirits and Such even when Mob isn't there, and if Reigen asks he'll say he was bored or hungry or that he can't let Reigen die because then Shigeo would be upset and flunk his exams and they can't have that now can they? and maybe a couple of times he has to walk Reigen home after a job goes sideways just to make sure that there's no spiritual nonsense on him that they missed, and maybe Mob's busier with schoolwork in the evenings and so Dimple can't hang around and bother him as much, and sure he could just drift around people-watching and looking for weaker spirits to eat, but it just doesn't scratch the same itch anymore, and so he finds himself going to bother Reigen instead.

and this goes on for years, with Dimple being a fixture at both the Kageyamas' and Reigen's apartment. and then Mob moves out for school and tells Dimple that he doesn't want him coming with because he needs privacy and his own space. and Dimple's a little cut up about it even though he pretends that he isn't, has a moment of wondering what his unlife is going to look like now that the person who brought him back to it has moved on, now that he's going to lose that anchor that feels like home, and he probably goes and sulks for a while, but eventually he finds himself coming back to Reigen. and Reigen's feeling a little weird and empty-nest-ish himself but he's like well. at least you can still haunt me.

and it's only later as Dimple is sitting on the couch of Reigen's apartment while they argue about what movie they're going to make fun of that night, sipping a beer that Reigen can't drink but buys for him anyway, that he realizes oh. he does have a home. and it's here.

[findmeinforks]

Not Letting You Go Easy - Paul Lahote x Fem!Reader

IM BACKKKKKKK!!! Wow I just checked my last fic and it's been TWO years. Does anyone even remember me? 🥹 I'm back on my twilight bs, this one is my longest ever! Let me know what you think! - 3.2K Words ❤️

*Second Person POV*

The sun poured on your face as you soaked in all the warmth it allowed. You missed the sun, watching the palm trees sway peacefully as the ocean tide rolls in. The goosebumps that arise on your skin as a strong breeze passes, the warmth blanketing back over them.

You keep your eyes shut as your mouth curls up in a smirk, listening faintly to your mom try and convince your sister to stay in Jacksonville. She could offer up the moon and all the stars...Bella would still choose Edward, every time. It's true that you were weary of the vampire, after she flew like a bat out of hell half way across the world to Italy to save him. But could you blame her?

If it wasn't for your sister stumbling her way into the supernatural world, it's possible you could have never met Paul. A blush crept up your cheeks as you crack a full smile, thinking back to the day you met the hot head.

~

There was absolutely zero hesitation when you followed behind Bella in the truck to go to Jacob's. You had been worried for weeks about your sister, who had been spiraling ever since she was ghosted a second time by someone she trusted. Not only did you care about your her, but Jacob too. He had been around your family for years, and this behavior...especially towards Bella...was concerning. So when she frantically barged in your room asking you to go with, you were out of the house in minutes.

You had taken off in a sprint to try and keep up with your sisters manic running towards the group of shirtless men in Jacob's backyard. You heard rumors of the so called "cult" that had formed in the recent weeks. Jacob's haircut and tattoo had confirmed that part. But seeing the others approach through his window, you knew this was going to be a bad idea. You barely had time to catch your breath before her hand came in contact with one of their faces. You let a gasp slip as you made it in time to yank her back by the elbow.

What had gotten into her!?

Not able to process why she would resort to slapping him in the first place, the man, who looked like a carbon copy of the other ones standing around, began to shake violently. The others were urging you both to get back while attempting to calm him down. Never in your life had you witnessed such immense anger. In seconds his shakes became tremors. It was as if he ripped apart, and in his place stood a massive grey wolf. Mirroring the emotions of the man before, the animal was growling, snarling at your sister with its teeth bared.

Your heart was beating out of your chest. You felt as if you were dreaming, blinking rapidly to make sure this was real. Not standing around to question the animal who could very well kill you, Bella grabbed your hand and you both booked it towards the house. The outburst must have woken Jacob, who was running towards the scene. Bellas blood curdling scream was telling him to go back, though he kept charging forward.

You both fell hands first onto the grass as Jacob launched over you both, shreds of clothes flying as yet another wolf emerged.

Now it was you who was shaking. The only thing that prevented you from having a panic attack was realizing that all the other men were calm, as if this happened all the time. You swallowed your fear as you accepted the hand of one of the younger men, who led you two back to the truck by the order of the oldest one.

As you walked into the cozy secluded home, your mind was running a million miles a minute. They were werewolves....as if after learning vampires existed wasnt a shock enough already.

The oldest one, fiancé, Emily, you had learned, helped ease some of the headache. Besides the scar she wore upon her face that made your stomach drop when you first saw her, she was the epitome of kindness. You could see when she was greeted by Sam that their love was far more deep rooted than the mark she wore. Only knowing her for an hour, you felt happy for the girl.

You vaguely registered Jacob returning, finally looking away from the couple when you heard an unfamiliar voice apologize to Bella. As he then turned your way, you both locked eyes. An electric current jolted through your body, through your veins as you held his stare. You felt a fuzzy warm feeling race its way all the way down to your toes. The feeling lasted what felt like forever, until Jacob's "no fucking way...." pulled you back to earth. It's as if you had been some other place. A place of immense happiness and love. You knew you looked as bright as a tomato when you realized all eyes were on the two of you, mortified they caught you staring.

You did a quick scan of the room, noticing they were paying more attention to the man rather than you, who, was still staring.

When you craned your neck to look at Bella behind you, you found relief in that she looked just as confused.

The man was slapped on the back by Embry, which snapped him out of his trance. He quietly introduced himself as Paul. You blushed hard when you quickly said your name back. As if to break the tension in the room, Jacob asked you both to go for a walk.

Before you left, you had sworn you heard Paul growl.

"Not now. She's been through too much today already." Sam lowly said to him. You furrowed your brows as you trailed behind your sister out of the house.

After a walk on the beach and many questions answered, you were able to take a deep breath. The world was getting scary for you, but Jacob seemed to ease your fears, promising he would always protect you both.

Before he dropped you both off at your house, he had mentioned going to a pack bonfire the following night. You couldn't help but get excited at the prospect of seeing Paul again. You both hadn't even spoke other than introductions, but there was some type of spark in your core when you both met.

Attempting to shove it away, you reminded yourself it was nothing but a crush.

~

You sat on a log by the fire, rubbing your hands together in front of it. Everyone was up gathering their food, but you were focused on the warmth as it was more than chilly outside. Nerves bubbled in you as Paul approached, asking to sit next to you. Your cheeks heated as he sat, only inches away.

"I just wanted to apologize about yesterday," he spoke, his voice gruff as he looked into the fire. "You could have gotten hurt and I let my anger get the best of me. I promise I'm not like that all the time, and I don't want you to be afraid of me."

Your heart melted at how softly he spoke. "It's really alright. My sister acts out of impulse, if you couldn't tell." This got him to laugh lightly. You laughed too, until a strong breeze made you break out into a shiver.

Paul immediately noticed, grabbing a blanket from the pile beside him. "Here," he said as he wrapped one around you. His warmth radiated off you as he had gotten closer to do so. Not even realizing what you were saying you spoke, "I bet your girlfriend never gets cold with you around." To your embarrassment but surprise he cracked a big smile. "I bet she would, if I had one." It was your turn to smile. "What about you?" You shook your head no as Paul let out a small breath that almost sounded like relief.

Before either of you could say something more, everyone gathered around the fire. The legends of the tribe had you captivated. So much history that you were never aware of, right under your nose. You could feel Paul glance at you every so often, gauging your reaction to everything that was said.

When the fire died down and Jacob's dad came to a stopping point, everyone quietly mingled until deciding to call it a night. You had talked to Paul the entire time, getting to know the basics. You had a lot more in common than you thought. The more you learned about him, the more you liked him. A lot. He followed you to Bella's truck, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I had a really good time tonight" you spoke softly, now inches away from his face. You were so close you could feel his breath.

"I did too. I hope this won't be the last time I see you?" he questioned.

You glanced past him to see Bella and Jacob making their way up the hill.

"With everything going on, everything that's happening...I have a feeling we won't be going away anytime soon."

Paul smiled.

This is the part where he'll kiss me, you think. Your heart beats fast in anticipation.

But Paul just stands there. Staring. He stood there so long that you cleared your throat awkwardly.

"I'll see you around Paul." You tried to hide the disappointment on your face as you climbed into the truck and shut the door. He had let you, still standing there for a moment before turning around to walk back to the house.

Tears welled up in your eyes. How foolish were you, to think that a guy like Paul Lahote would just sweep you off your feet? Sure, a kiss might be moving fast for the first night, but he didn't even give you his number. You analyzed everything you had said to each other. Nothing was even romantic, so why on earth would you think he liked you back? Pathetic.

Bella said goodbye to Jacob and got in the truck. One thing you loved most about your sister was that she knew you better than anyone else. And if there was one thing you hated, it was when people asked if you were upset. One look in your direction and she didn't say a word, starting the truck and driving off. She knew when you were ready to talk, you would.

*Paul's POV*

I turned around, watching the truck drive away, getting smaller and smaller in the distance. I was frozen in place.

What is wrong with me?

"Everything go okay?" Sam approached, clearly sensing my distress.

"I'm never like this with women, Sam. I should have kissed her, but I didn't. I stood there, right in front of her with my mouth open like a fucking fish. I-I've never felt this way-" I rambled on.

"Dude it's alright" Sam interrupted, "Did you tell her that she's your imprint?"

I sighed. "I didn't even get that far. I don't, I don't want her to feel forced to like me like that right away. I want to treat it like a normal relationship....but I think I went ahead and screwed it up anyways." I huffed.

Sam placed his hand on my shoulder. "Deep breathes. You didn't screw anything up, you just met her. You can tell her about the imprinting when you're comfortable....as far as the kiss, well, it's never too late." Sam held up keys to his vehicle, putting them in my hand. "Only if you need them." He slapped me on the shoulder, winking, as he walked back to where Emily was.

I watched him sneak up behind her, she giggled as he peppered kisses on the back of her neck. I knew what he was doing. And it was working, as I made my way towards his car.

*Back to Second Person POV*

You sniffled, taking a deep breath. You were done crying over this man. This man you had literally just met. So what if he didn't like you? There is a million other people out there. Why did you care so much?

A knock on the door interrupted your thoughts. Charlie was gone over night on a hunting trip and Bella was fast asleep.

Another knock. It was almost damn near midnight. As you slowly approached the door, bat in hand, you looked through the peep hole.

It was Paul.

You flung open the door, ready to ask him what the hell him problem was, when he lunged forward. Grabbing you by the face, he kissed you feverishly. Your heart pounded in your chest as you melted into the kiss, tongues dancing together in perfect harmony. One hand held you by the hair as the other grabbed you by the waist, pulling you impossibly closer. When you both needed to breathe you pulled away, Paul's hand held tightly so you couldn't go too far. He leaned his forehead against yours, panting.

"I am so sorry I didn't do this when you left. You, you make me nervous. It's a feeling I've never really had before. When you left I- I didn't want to let you go that easy. I'm sorry." He said.

You leaned in to kiss him once, slowly, softly. "I've been waiting for you to do that," you smiled. "There's a lot more where that came from...if you'll have me." he said, his hand sliding down to interlock with yours, bringing back up to place a gentle kiss on the top.

"I couldn't imagine anything better." you grinned.

*Paul's POV*

Y/N guided me to the couch, asking to stay awhile. We held each other until the sun came up, just talking. It was as if everything right there had changed for me. She would be my number one priority, to have and protect. I vowed to myself that I would do anything she asked, that I will love her no matter the cost. Whatever makes her happy.

I had to leave before Charlie got home, but not without a heated make out session at the door. It took everything in me to pull away from her, both of us lingering. Despite her not letting go either, I could see the bags under her eyes forming.

"Get some sleep baby, text me when you wake up okay?" She nodded, and after a good 20 minutes of more kissing, I left.

I understood why Sam was always mopey without Emily around. As I drove away I could feel my heart ache like something was missing. This was a whole new feeling, and for the first time I thanked whatever spirits gave me her.

My imprint.

I bit my lip as I remembered I still had to tell her. I'm worried about how she'll take it, but there was something heavier on my mind.

Victoria.

Part Two Anyone? :)

[giftedyoungster3000]

A WAVE OF FLAMES

First responder C1

Summary: Darkish. When a normal night at home turns into a disaster you find yourself in the arms of a stranger. No use of y/n.

Warnings: dark, kidnapping, fire, manipulation, using emotionally unstable people, PLEASE DONT READ IF YOUR UNCOMFORTABLE

Events: juneiverse @buckybarnesevents

A/n just a heads up I suck at writing but I really wanted to join this event. Have not reread it so it probably sucks. About 970 words.

The alarm was ringing through your house a panic surged through your blood as you quickly sat up. And threw a hoodie over your head. Blindly grabbing your phone. You quickly made your way to your apartment door. Sliding a pair of slippers on and closing the door behind you as you stepped into the hall joining the crowd of your neighbours all walking to the staircase at the end of the hallway. You make your way into the crisp summer night holding your hoodie closer to your body, regretting only wearing the slightly Lacey sleep shorts and a thin bralette you had bought last week as a form of self-care.

As you watched multiple fire trucks pull up to your complex you couldn’t help but overthink everything. Where would you stay? Would you lose all your precious belongings? You tried not to panic as you stood amongst the flashing lights and harsh sounds. You couldn’t see any fire but you could smell it. It was faint but was there.

A tap on your shoulder pulled you from your overthinking spiral. You looked to your right where a large man stood. Your eyes glanced over him. The fireman gear he had on did nothing to conceal how massive he was.

You couldn’t help but think of what he must look like under that suit. Was he all muscle or was he also soft? As soon as your eyes made it to his face though not a thought was in your mind except his eyes. Those stormy blue eyes looked down at you with worry. He was speaking but you could focus on anything but those eyes.

A light shake of your shoulder snapped you out of his eyes.

“Hey, are you ok miss?” The man in front of you asked. You nervously nodded your head. Still unable to speak under his spell. “My name is Bucky I’m here to help you.”

“Bucky” you tried his name out on your tongue. You felt his hand land on your shoulder guiding you over to an ambulance.

“Hey Nat I think she may have a concussion,” he spoke to a lady with short red hair. Both of their hands gently pull you down to sit on the edge of the ambulance. Bucky stays beside you as the lady he called Nat checks you over. Your eyes stay on his until the paramedic puts a bright light in your line of vision. Snapping you out of the trance once again.

“She seems perfectly fine buck. Probably just a little shaken.”

“What’s your name sweetie?” She asks, bending down to be at eye level with you. You tell her your full name and she stands up and walks somewhere out of your view. Leaving you once again with Bucky.

“You alright doll?” He asks once again. All you managed to do was weakly shake your head. Trying desperately to be strong but all your fight left you as you looked into his eyes.

You couldn’t help but think back to the argument you had with your parents. The same argument that made you move to a city where you knew no one. The argument is that they decided to cut you off. It seemed silly now. It was hitting you just how alone you were. Your house is in flames with no one to help you.

A warm arm wrapped around you in comfort. And you felt yourself truly break.

You vaguely recall the lady coming back over to the two of you. Saying something to James before talking to you again. She gently placed what looked like an oxygen mask over your face. That lightheaded feeling came back stronger as you felt your mental state drift away.

-

A pounding headache is never what you want to wake up to. But as you pull yourself out of sleep you take in your surroundings. None of them are familiar and a panic takes over your breathing. You sit up and rip off the blankets that were laid carefully over your bare legs. You go to hop off the bed but a counter force makes you face plant on the carpet.

You hear movement from the other room. You turn around to assess the situation and to your horror, your leg is cuffed to the frame of the bed.

The sound of the door opening sends you into a panic. Flights are not an option while you are cuffed down so fight it is. You look for something, anything to protect yourself, settling on a book that is laid on the nightstand. Holding it in front of yourself you look at the door that is opening.

A smiling face pops through the door.

The man from last night stood on the threshold. His sweet voice filled the air. All filled with sweetness and warmth as if he didn’t lock you to a bed. Kidnapping you when you had trusted him.

“What is wrong with you?” You spat at him, needing answers. And desperately hope this is a big misunderstanding.

“I just wanted to help you doll.” There it was again that sweet voice that got you into this mess.

“Help me? You tied me to a bed!” You could believe you got into this situation.

“Hey, I only did that to protect you. I knew you wouldn’t understand right away.”

What the hell was he talking about?

“We’re meant for each other doll. And I couldn’t just let you walk away from me. I knew the second I saw you I had to have you.” His voice was so soft but those words were devious. “And now that I have you we can be happy. Don’t you wanna be happy doll.”

His blue eyes searched yours so desperately that you almost believed him. You couldn’t believe him though. Right?

[phoenix-pheces]

Another fic based on the Huntlow Mythology AU created by @turquoisespace35 . This takes place after the group arrives back in the kingdom, as Willow and Amity go to confront the king. If you enjoy my work here, I also repost all of my fics on AO3 as Phoenix_Pheces. I intend to eventually post different content on each page, so please consider checking out that page as well. Any support means so much to me, and inspires me to keep writing.

—————————————

Bleeding Hearts - Part 1/3

Willow’s braid had been pulled and twisted nearly out of its holding as she continued to try and soothe her nerves. She and Amity had been waiting quite a while for their audience with the king. It was hard to guess how long it had been exactly, but their surroundings were noticeably less lit than when they had taken their seats. Amity, thankfully, had stayed close for their journey. They both knew the guards weren’t escorting them out of concern for their safety. She had left a few moments ago, however, to ensure they would be seen before sunset. The silence in the hall once she had left was deafening.

It took every ounce of willpower Willow had to not spiral into a panic worrying about Hunter. She was confident that Luz and Gus could keep him safe, but she would never feel relieved until he was back in her sight again. More than anything else, she needed him to be safe. Hopefully they wouldn’t have to keep him in hiding much longer.

Soft footsteps echoed through the hall; Amity’s footsteps. She approached and put a comforting hand on Willow’s shoulder.

“Are you ready to see him?” Her question felt heavy in the air between them, weighed down by an unspoken dread they both needed to leave unspoken. Willow took a deep breath that still felt uncertain.

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

Amity offered her arm, and Willow gratefully took it. She wasn’t sure who needed it more. The two were promptly ushered into the king’s throne room before they had the chance to offer any last minute encouragement.

The throne room was much brighter than the long stone hall had been. Not because of any direct sunlight, but because of a looming golden fire pit in the center of the room. Gus had described it to Willow the first time they entered the throne room. The massive bowl which held the flame was relatively plain, but it was held by a golden statue of a man. A man who, morbidly enough, looked as though the weight of it would soon overcome him. It has unnerved Willow before, but now it left her truly shaken. Would that be her fate? Overcome by a massive load even she couldn’t carry?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of marching. Amity pressed her shoulder into Willow’s, and the door on the opposite end of the throne room was thrust open. The King entered accompanied by, according to Amity, twelve guards.

This was not for protection. This was a display of power, and perhaps even a threat. Amity and Willow were escorted to the foot of the king’s throne, and separated to bow deeply at his feet. The gesture made Willow bristle with anger. She could only hope it wouldn’t appear too plainly on her face.

“Rise, my chosen ones.” Willow and Amity did as they were instructed. The king rose to his feet, but did not approach them. He snapped his head to the nearest guard.

“Leave us, all of you. I wish to converse with these two in private. For their own benefit.” Willow nearly scoffed at the idea. The king would love to have witnesses: if he had nothing to hide. The guards promptly left the throne room, but Willow knew they wouldn’t stray far. They would be right back at their stations with as little as a shout from their king. After the last guard closed the doors behind him, the king descended the throne’s stairs until he was just a few feet away from Amity and Willow.

“So, who would care to regale me with the tale of how both of you miraculously survived the most bloodthirsty monster our kingdom has ever known?”

“He is no monster.” Willow had planned to hold her tongue as best she could. Amity was far more diplomatic than she was. However, though Willow knew better, her heart could not be so easily silenced. The king scoffed.

“I assure you, it is nothing but a vile creature. I have half a mind to send you out to sea for speaking out of turn every time we meet. Your fathers have raised a miserable, insolent child.”

Willow clenched her fists and forced a smile.

“They raised me to oppose injustice, Your Majesty. It would be irresponsible of me to stand by while innocent people are being targeted by those in power. I’m surprised you didn’t pick up on that the last time I was here.”

“How dare you!” You will speak-“

“I will speak when I please. You have hurt this kingdom from the moment you assumed the throne. I’ve seen your cruelty firsthand, and it truly knows no mercy. You sent me, and countless others, to die just to protect your reputation. At the hands of an unwilling, traumatized boy. Hunter didn’t deserve this. We didn’t deserve this. If there is any monster plaguing this kingdom, it is you.”

The king was silent. He descended the rest of the stairs and came close enough that Willow could see his face. His expression was difficult to read, but it didn’t look like the anger Willow had expected. The king looked almost fascinated.

“Tell me, child, who is Hunter?”

Willow’s heart dropped. She hadn’t realized her mistake until he asked the question. What had she done?

“I-“

“You named the thing, didn’t you? You care for it.” The king let out a small gasp. “And you wouldn’t have left it behind.”

“No!” Willow lunged forward, but the king easily evaded her, and she crashed into the floor. Pain shot through her arm and ribs.

“Guards! Quickly!”

The guards rushed into the room as Amity dove to help Willow to her feet. The pain in Willow’s side caused her to stumble, and they were quickly surrounded. Amity clung to her.

“If any of you so much as touch her, I will end you,” Amity threatened, brandishing her spear as best she could with one hand. None of the guards moved. They were more concerned with keeping the two of them contained than separating them.

“Assemble everyone else in the main hall!” The king’s voice rang through the throne room, dripping its malice. Willow heard countless footsteps running in all directions. She had no idea what was happening outside the circle of guards, who had now all turned their spears inward. She began to shake as she heard the king shout again.

“Let’s move, we have a beast to kill!”

[exospherethoughts]

Of all people I think you would be the one to understand, but I can't talk to you about this (partially because I'm afraid to talk about this to anyone, really, but also partially because this absolutely constitutes emotional vulnerability, and you don't seem to be interested in that anymore).

I think I might have OCD. I'm not sure, and I need to bring it up with both my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I've done so so so much reading and scrolled through some places where people with OCD talk about their experiences, and it's terrifying to me how much I can relate to it. I'm guessing I would fall into the somatic and contamination subcategories of OCD, since the main things that tipped me off to OCD were related to my cardiac issues and my fixation on cleanliness and organization.

It never crossed my mind that OCD was even a possibility for me, because the cleanliness and organization stuff almost felt too stereotypically OCD to count, and I brushed off the somatic stuff as health anxiety. But the way it manifests lines up with the descriptions of OCD that I've been reading.

On the somatic side, I think it was triggered by the start of my heart problems last summer. I've always had health anxiety, and it's hard to squash it because I've been right on several occasions (like the cancer!), but ever since the first few cardiac symptoms arose, it's been unbearable. Even though the main tests (stress test, echo, ECG) have come back fairly normal, there is definitely something wrong (the doctors agree with me on that front), but I should be able to be calm because the chances of it being life threatening if all those tests are normal is extremely low. Yet every time my heart skips a beat, every time it spasms, every time it starts beating too quickly or too slowly, every slight pain in my chest, every time my breathing feels a little too pressured, I start spiralling into wondering "is it going to be a heart attack this time" and become hyperaware of my heartbeat. Sometimes it happens even when my heart doesn't do anything strange, I just start spiralling and feel my heart beating in my entire body, and I try to use logic to get myself to calm down, but I can't. And so I keep checking my heartrate, I use the ECG function on my watch despite knowing it's not that accurate, I go to a public space so I won't be alone if I collapse or something, etc etc. And even doing those things doesn't alleviate the incessant anxiety and thought spiral in my head. The only thing that genuinely makes my mind go quiet when I get into that headspace is being in an ER surrounded by doctors. But I can't go to the ER every single time the slightest thing happens, it's an irresponsible usage of their resources and a massive waste of time and it's irrational. So I end up ridiculously anxious and overwhelmed and unable to do the one thing my body is screaming at me to do to get my mind to be quiet. It's torture, I'm plagued by anxiety that wants to spill over into panic more often than not, and I can't get away from my heart beating. There's no escaping it.

The cleanliness one I attributed to my ADHD for a long time, but I'm starting to wonder if it really is an ADHD thing or if it's indicative of OCD. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by anxiety just sitting in my room, and it could be fairly organized or clean, but the anxiety will hit anyways. And I'll be acutely aware of every piece of dust, all the clutter in my room, the slightest feeling of sweat or grime on my body, every scent and visible thing out of place. It can get so bad that I have panic attacks, I feel like tearing my hair out or scratching off my skin and want to climb out of my body and get out of my room (but going outside oftentimes doesn't help-- I end up getting overwhelmed by the sensory stimuli and my clothes and skin and hair will feel dirty and I'll have the added stressor of being perceived by other people). Then I end up either paralyzed by panic and have a severe breakdown, or I clean. I clean and I clean and I clean. I sweep and wash the floors, I do the dishes, I wash my fridge, I throw out any food that is even a little too old, I clean the cupboards, I wash the sinks, I clean the toilet, I wash my sheets and do the laundry, I change my clothes, I clean everything. It wastes so much time. And then I clean myself, I shower and scrub my skin until it's raw, I brush my teeth, I wash my face and pick at every little pore until my face is red and bleeding, I wash my hair until it feels free of every smidgen of grease, and then I put on clean clothes. Only then does the panic properly subside.

On the clothes front, in the mornings when I'm getting dressed, I thought this was just a funny little quirk, but I sometimes will waste an hour or more just trying to find the "right" outfit. Clothing that I adore will just feel "wrong", it'll bother me in a sensory way or it'll just feel off or I'll feel gross wearing it, and if I don't keep changing until I find something that feels "right", it'll ruin my day. I'll keep thinking about it even though I don't want to, my mood will be off all day, my anxiety will be heightened, and it never feels like anything helps except for finding a different outfit. Once in high school it was so bad that I was at school, and in the middle of the day whatever I was wearing felt so *wrong* that I went to three different thrift stores trying to find a sweater to wear that would be comfortable, and eventually I found one for $8 and bought it and put it on without washing it, since you know, I was supposed to be at school. It was entirely irrational: it was a waste of money, I never wore it again after that day, all I had to do was wait 3 hours and I'd have been at home and able to change into something else, and there was nothing objectively wrong with what I was wearing that day. But because of whatever got into my head, finding a sweater and wearing it felt like the only option.

Then there's the organizational and perfectionism stuff. I get so focused on needing everything to be in place and aligned and perfect (whether it's the layout and format of notetaking, file organization on my laptop, organizing my music library and playlists and having extra music that I don't listen to cluttering it, things in my room and in drawers or cupboards, the food in my fridge and freezer, course planning for academics, planning entire parts of my career, etc etc). It interferes with my life so much, I fall behind in classes because I feel like I can't do the work if everything isn't perfectly organized and colour coded and labelled. I stop listening to music I actually want to listen to because I feel like I have to listen to all my music in order and organize it before I'm "allowed" to listen to stuff I'm in the mood for. And if I don't do said organizational things, I can't stop thinking about it. No matter what I try to distract myself with. The same goes for handing in assignments, if I don't do it perfectly and put in 100% effort on every single part, I feel like I cannot submit it, even though it's irrational to submit nothing and get a 0 than to just submit whatever I have at the deadline. I can't force myself to half-ass anything because my brain just refuses, even if it's a logical course of action in order to manage my time or prioritize things based on importance. There's even the meta-process of wanting to figure out every single little thought and process in my mind (which I think is fairly obvious by this whole bloody ramble in and of itself...).

Sometimes this happens with clutter in my spaces, much like with the cleaning, and I'll get this intense need to declutter and end up throwing out a ton of stuff, even if it's stuff I should have kept. If I don't do it (and usually the only reason I don't is because the chronic fatigue can get so bad that I cannot physically get myself to do anything), I end up having a panic attack and my mind won't leave me alone no matter what I try to do.

Or another one I recently realized, it's silly but my shoelaces. No matter what type of shoes I'm wearing (although there's only really one pair of shoes I like wearing), the laces have to be even when I tie them. The way I knot them is specific and I cannot do it any other way, and while I'm knotting them, the two loose ends (not the loops) have to end up being even in length. If they aren't then it will plague my mind and cause me so much anxiety until I fix them. It doesn't bother me most of the time because I've gotten extremely good at tying my shoes fast enough that most people wouldn't notice while still getting them exactly the same length, but there's one person who does notice and point it out (and has my entire life), and these days they leave me alone and let me tie my shoes how I need to, but they used to sometimes pull at the laces and force me to wear them uneven because they thought it was funny and thought I was being weird and difficult for wanting them tied a certain way. I would usually end up crying and feeling overwhelmed, and get into the meta thought spiral of feeling ashamed and confused about my intense reaction to something as stupid as shoe laces.

Then there's the relationship OCD theme that I relate to way too fucking much for my comfort. Labelling my thought processes as just "anxious attachment", or blaming it all on past unhealthy relationship experiences, never quite felt like it was really enough to explain the ridiculously intense thought spirals, anxiety, panic, and urges to find reassurance or ask questions. Even in a healthy relationship I spend so so so much time thinking about things I don't want to think about (and they have no rational basis), like constantly wondering if my partner really cares, hyperfixating on specific interactions or conversations and spending hours (days) picking them apart and trying to figure out if something had a hidden meaning or if I'm remembering it correctly, questioning if they like me or not, wondering what parts of me they find annoying, doubting that they really meant anything kind they've said to me, etc etc. And the only way I can get any relief is to seek out reassurance, so I'll hunt down mutual friends to see if I can extract any information whatsoever about what my partner has said about me (although even if I find anything out that way, I end up doubting the truth of that too because what if they lied to that friend?), or I'll compare behaviours and events from a current relationship to a past one, or I'll spend hours thinking about good memories with said partner to try and catch the feeling of certainty I had at the time, or I'll ask them repeatedly if I'm good enough / if they love me / if they think I'm pretty / if they actually enjoy spending time with me, or I'll tell them they deserve better (and I've gotten better at not asking these questions as often anymore, but I used to act on this multiple times a day, and even now I have the intense urge to do so at any time I'm not physically next to my partner, and even then I often have the urge to ask anyways). It's torturous and it ruined so many happy memories for me because (even though I was SCREAMING at myself not to), I would spend so much time stuck in my head going into spirals while I was with you. I wanted desperately to just be comfortable and enjoy myself, and sometimes I managed to, but far too often I would be sitting right next to you and spending every ounce of mental energy I had to stop myself from asking if you really wanted to be there (and to not show how distressing it was to be stuck in a meta spiral about wanting to not be distressed and distracted while spending limited time with you). I hated myself for it. I still do. And the second you would leave my sight, I would start doubting *everything*. I would start twisting the memories in my head, questioning if I misread your body language or tone, wondering if you really wanted to be there, thinking maybe I made it all up and you didn't actually want me at all, asking myself if maybe you were reluctant and I was pushing you to hold hands or kiss me or talk to me, it never stopped. It still hasn't stopped. I can't get my mind to stop. I don't want to be like this, I don't want to think these things, it is *killing* me, it is exhausting. But no amount of logic or talking to a friend helps. Nothing helps. I know talking to you directly about it would help... for the duration of the conversation and maybe half an hour afterwards. And then I would slip right back into new doubts and worries. It. Never. Stops.

The same thing happened in my previous relationships (especially the one other serious one I had). I chalked it up to the toxic nature of said relationship and naïvety on both our parts. Whilst those were certainly contributing factors, I have grown up since then, I have done so much work to heal and improve my own behaviours and thought processes, and it's still awful. It's still so bloody difficult to deal with my mind. And you never gave me any reason to think you were lying to me about anything. But my mind won't listen to that reasoning, it just doesn't leave me alone. So now I'm starting to wonder if really this is part of the whole maybe-OCD thing instead. Or maybe I'm just a horrible person.

Who the fuck knows! I am at the point of wanting to cry and scream because my mind will NOT SHUT UP and I am talking to my psychiatrist tomorrow with the intention of bringing all of this up so I can get evaluated for OCD but I am so so so so anxious about it because I need it to go well and I'm worried she'll think I'm acronym hunting or laugh at me or shut me down before I can even explain (I really need to explain it) and I cannot breathe so I am done writing now.

[slashersteve]

Let's Kiss

pairing: Steve Harrington/Female Reader

summary: It might be the end of the world, and you're for some reason worried about having never been kissed. Steve decides to change that.

warnings/extra tags: friends kissing tm, friends making out tm, reader spirals for a second here, gets a little heated but this isnt my nsfw blog, cursing, beta read, edited by me and autocorrect babey

note: forgive me for writing slowly :') i wanted to experiment with writing more kissing scenes and decided it was a perfect time for you to kiss steve till you were stupid. Thanks for reading and enjoy <3

✧ ✧ ✧

For the third time in your life, it felt like the end of the world, but unlike those times, this time felt as if it actually might be. And you were…not okay if you were being honest. Everyone who was piled into this stolen Winnebago that Eddie Munson hot-wired was not okay, but they seemed to be holding it together better than you. 

When Steve Harrington drove into an open field so that you guys could properly prepare for your battle with Vecna, who was also known as Henry Creel, but also 001, you thought the fresh air would be just what you needed. You were wrong though when you thought of Vecna though, as the guy had shown Nancy some big, big plans of his that had to do with opening up a massive gate in the middle of Hawkins.

In response, you and everyone else here had big plans too, some that involved baiting him with a still cursed Max while the rest of you venture into the Upside Down to try and kill him before his plan could come to fruition. Honestly, it was a good plan, especially with Nancy basically leading all of you, and you couldn’t poke many holes into it…except for one…or some. 

What if he didn’t take the bait with Max? What if Dustin and Eddie���s plan to distract the bats didn’t work? What if you step on a vine and alert the guy? And what if he literally knows everything you’re planning at this exact second and you’re all walking into a trap? 

You don’t usually freak out like this, in fact, you had once prided yourself in your ability to be calm and collected in nearly every situation, but there must be something in the air right now or Vecna/Henry/One somehow got into your head or something because you were on the verge of a whole panic attack. Even Robin was more calm than you were (or at least appeared so).

“Preparation is key,” Nancy had said when going over your plan again when you questioned if it would actually work. And she was right, the first time you were in the Upside Down it was by chance (or force as the bruises around Steve’s neck still gave you uncomfortable chills and dread), but this time you’re going to be practically armed with all the shit you just bought at that angry hick store Eddie suggested while Max baits Vecna. 

God, the thought of anything going wrong made your chest hurt, and you wanted to vomit all over the grass next to Nancy and Max’s feet as she sawed off the barrel of the shotgun.

“I’m- I’m going to go and change,” you said quickly before that could happen. They both glanced at you, and Nancy told you that was fine all the while it looked like Max could see right through you. 

“She looks like she’s about to bail or something,” Max said, watching you make a beeline toward the Winnebago where Steve and Robin were currently sitting outside of. 

Nancy hummed as she returned her focus on the felony she was committing and said, “I’m sure she’s fine.”

You didn’t say so much as a word when you went into the Winnebago and closed it, making Steve and Robin glance at one another before Robin was continuing to make their Molotov bombs with kerosene and empty alcohol bottles. 

Steve’s eyes lingered on the shut door a little longer, noticing your odd demeanor, before reluctantly turning his attention back to the Molotov bombs as well. 

It was in the Winnebago when things took a turn for the worse for you.

You had just finished changing out of your tattered clothing from your first trip in the Upside Down, and now wore the exact same camouflage shirt Steve was wearing and some new pants. You started to spiral, essentially, your thoughts coming at you fast and all at once, thoughts about what could potentially happen and go wrong, about possibly getting killed, which led you to think about a lot of the things you hadn’t done yet. 

You wanted to graduate and attend the college you were already accepted to, then graduate from there, and maybe find a significant other there or something to at least experience that. It was just insane to you that you experienced what it’s like to breathe in the air of another dimension before anything inherently romantic.

It made you wonder if your life would ever be…just normal.

That was when the door was being opened and Steve was walking in without any regard to look specifically for you. When his eyes landed on you, they suddenly squeezed shut and he said, “Shit! Sorry! Were you changing? I’ll just-“ he blindly stepped backwards, knocking into the back of the passenger seat. 

"It's okay! I'm done anyways," you told him, and he opened only one eye slowly before opening both.

"Still, I should've knocked," he laughed awkwardly as he stepped back into the Winnebago and said, "Molotov's are done, Eddie and Dustin's spears and shields are made, Nancy committed a felony...I say we're almost ready."

"Oh," you said a bit shakily, "So soon?"

He nodded, and said, "Yup, we should probably leave soon if we want to make it at sundown."

You dropped your eyes for a second, and forced the nervous exhale from coming out as everyone was on as much edge as you were about everything, and you didn't need to burden any of them with your doubt.

"Are...you ready?" Steve asked suddenly, and you glanced up at him.

"I-" you shut your lips to gulp nervously, then opened them again to say, "I...don't know..."

His eyes looked thoughtful as they stared at you, and he nodded, "Yeah...me either to be honest." He laughed weakly as he leaned on the side and crossed his arms.

You looked up and kept your gaze on him this time as he sighed deeply, "Just talked with Robin, and she thinks it might not work out for us..."

Your heart dropped, "Oh."

"But...she also said that we're crazy, and that...if we don't try and stop him then who will," he licked his dry lips for a second, "And she's right. Whatever happens...we win..or lose...at least we tried."

It was a bitter thought, to think that even if you go in prepared and ready for battle things can still go south. You needed to sit down immediately, and once you did on the couch in the back, you dropped your head in your hands at the thought of the endless possibilities.

"Is this what our lives have been leading up to?" you asked suddenly, voice quivering, "Battling a sadistic clock obsessed guy with powers like El and bad skin who snaps people's bones because he wants to open a giant gate to take over the world? What ever happened to normal lives, you know? Why hasn't our only problems been oh am I going to pass this physics exam or oh my god is he going to call me back? You know normal problems that normal people experience?"

You were rambling in a similar manner like Robin might, and it caught Steve off guard as you hardly ever did anything like that while Robin does it often.

Also, you already looked and sounded like you were defeated before the final battle even began, and Steve disliked that a lot.

"Hey, hey, we beat this guy? Then we'll have those normal problems," Steve tried to comfort you, "If this guy is really the big threat, and we manage to put him down, that'll be the end of everything...hopefully."

You moaned dreadfully, completely ignoring Steve, "There's just so much I should be experiencing, I don't understand why I experienced what it's like to climb up into a ceiling and fall out of the other side before I experience, I don't know, a first date? A first kiss? I know that stuff's not super important but still, it would be nice."

Steve tried to speak, but you were continuing on, your thoughts venturing to other matters besides yourself and it was making him even more concerned with your current state.

"And it's not even just me, like those kids out there? They're so young, one of them is literally cursed, like what the hell is up with that? It’s so fucked up!"

You were continuing to ramble and asking rhetorical question after rhetorical question that Steve had to actually go over to sit next to you and grasp your shoulders to make you stop and look at him.

"Hey!" he said, slightly shaking you as your eyes met, "All this is not helping anybody, especially yourself. I think the same things sometimes, and I wish I had some kind of explanation for you, but I don't even know it."

You stared blankly at him, and he sucked in a tight breath and continued to say, "What I do know is that we really don't have normal lives, and you know, at this point we just kind of have to to live with that-"

"But-"

"I also know," he cut you off, "That if we're going to go down there and try to put an end to this then we need to be prepared and level-headed you know? So...just...tell me what I can do to make you feel better."

His final request was odd to you, as you didn't know what he could do. He could tell you everything was going to be alright, but you'd know it was probably going to be a lie to try and calm you down. Steve knew as much as you did, and it sucked for a moment because you were expecting him to know more. Still, the question did make your heart swell up because of how genuinely nice he was, just being here with you and talking to you, wanting to make you feel better.

You instead took in a deep breath, trying to calm down the pacing of your heart stemmed from your blast of anxiety, and now the typical feeling you get when around the guy as you said, "You...you don't have to do anything. I'm sorry...you're right, tonight could be the end of the world, we're all nervous, but I'm the only stupid one ranting about never having kissed anyone."

You rolled your eyes at your own stupidity, and turned away from Steve to look at the ground.

Beside you, Steve shifted in his spot, and said "You don't have to apologize...I just almost lost you there for a moment."

You laughed weakly, but didn't reply.

Steve looked at you thoughtfully, and cleared his throat gently before saying, "For the record...I don't think you being worried about things like a first kiss is stupid."

"Yes it is Steve," you replied immediately, "In the face of the end of the world? Yeah...it's stupid."

"Well, I don't know, they're probably thinking about things like that too..." Steve trailed off, "Just because you're the only one voicing it doesn't make it stupid."

You pressed your lips together, and shrugged weakly at him in response as you leaned back on the couch now, the top of your head smacking lightly against the back window.

You weren't looking at Steve, because if you were, you probably would've caught a shift in his gaze that meant an idea was coming about, whether it was good or bad, you wouldn't have known until he said it.

And after a few seconds of silence, he did tell you, except you refused to believe you heard him right. 

"What?" you asked, wanting him to repeat it so you don’t look silly.

He coughed into his hand nervously and said, "I could kiss you right now...you know...give you a sense of...normal or something...or to like…cross that off your list."

Steve wasn't looking at you as he repeated himself, which was just as well, because you felt your cheeks heat up and your jaw slightly drop. Not sure if he was just teasing you or something, you muttered, "Normal...normal friends don't kiss each other, Steve."

He laughed breathlessly, and ran his hand over his mouth for a moment before replying, "Friends do help each other though...also pretty sure we established we're not normal."

Now that made you laugh, not a weak or breathless one like before, but a genuine one and you said, "Yeah...that's definitely true.”

He was looking at you now, brown eyes staring right into yours and you saw then that he was serious about it, serious about kissing you and letting you experience at least that before tonight.

It wasn't like you hadn't thought about it before, if that warm feeling he always gave you when he was around, even now, said anything. You've thought about it even before you were friends, when he was a stupid jerk in high school who never looked twice at you but still made you weak in the knees.

After getting to know him more, you wanted to do more than just kiss the guy. You wanted to go on dates with him, hold his hand, make him laugh...all those romantic like things you've only seen in the movies. Would kissing him right now, in a moment like this, be a good move?

At your silence, Steve began to move to stand as he was saying, "God yeah, you're right it's not normal. I'm sorry I offered and made it weird."

Your hand was flying upward to capture his wrist gently, and when your eyes met, your thoughts went away as you realized you had made your answer already. You gave him a single nod, and then said, "Let's kiss."

His gaze remained on yours then, his expression softening slightly as he waited a few seconds before settling back down in the space next to you.

The atmosphere changed drastically then, the color within the Winnebago a pretty golden shade, bouncing off of Steve's face and his brown eyes as they bore into yours. You never really noticed how soft of a brown color his eyes were, maybe because you’ve never been this close enough to see them.

His next question had tore you out of your mesmerized gaze, asking you in a soft, quiet voice you never heard him speak in if you were sure it’s what you wanted.

You nodded, and said in a breathless voice, "Yes I'm sure."

Your heart was beating out of your chest, this time for the reason that any second now you were going to be kissing Steve Harrington, the once King of Hawkins High, and now one of your closest friends. You were nervous, and you were scared, but no more than you were scared about what might happen tonight.

He was just so close to you though, instead of the usual cologne he wore that drove you mad, he smelled like the earth and the pungent smell of the kerosene they used to create molotovs. It really proved that it wasn't just his cologne that drove you mad, it was simply him.

It was him just being here and this close that’s what made you this way, what was making you forget for a second that the end of the world was hours away. Your breath had even hitched and he gently reached upward to cup your cheek, a gesture that made you feel more heat spread across your face and chest.

His eyes flickered to your lips then as he began to move in, and you tensed up as you felt his lips gently graze over your own before they pressed fully against yours.

Though it was just a peck, just two lips touching, you practically melted in your seat when you felt his slightly chapped lips on yours. Your eyes even fluttered shut for a second, and any doubt of this being a bad idea faded at once as you returned the kiss.

When he leaned away from you after a few seconds, you opened your eyes to meet him and he asked with a small smile on the lips that were just on yours, "How was that?"

You were practically breathless as you replied something incoherent, and Steve tilted his head curiously at you, not understanding what you had said, and to be fair you didn’t know either. Your eyes fell back onto his lips, instead wondering if they were tingling like yours currently were, and wondering if he too felt the fire that he ignited in your chest by that simple kiss.

Steve had noticed your eyes had flickered back to his lips, and he exhaled deeply, and moved his hand underneath your chin to make you meet his gaze again. You blinked almost dreamily up at him, and he asked you in that same sweet, soft voice that would be added to your favorite things about him… "Want to do it again?"

Oh, how fast you said yes.

He didn't hesitate after your answer, pressing his lips fully onto yours to quite frankly give you another best first kiss of your life that you were sure nobody could beat even if they tried.

His experienced lips moved against your inexperienced ones, taking control and taking your breath away all at once. His lips were slow and steady on yours, gently sliding along yours and it was you who tilted your head gently in order to deepen it just a little more.

Steve's hand had moved from your chin, rather moving to the back of your head as he exhaled for a moment right onto your lips, and he asked, “Is this okay?” in reference to how quickly heated this kiss was becoming. You responded to him by leaning back in, and he chuckled as you recaptured his lips onto yours.

You didn't know what you were doing, since you've made it clear you've never kissed anyone, let alone like this, but it felt like you were doing something right as you tried to return his kiss with the same intensity as him especially when he hummed against you, his lips slightly vibrating on yours and pulled you impossibly closer to him.

When you felt the swipe of his tongue on your bottom lip, it sort of brought you back to yourself for a moment and he was leaning away again, his cheeks were a blush pink color and he said, “Fuck I’m sorry. We agreed on a kiss, and I’m trying to stick my tongue down your throat.” 

He laughed awkwardly at his own words, and you could only sit there and stare at him all starry eyed, your prior concerns with the end of the world all but gone for even just a few seconds and you replied, “I…I don’t mind.” 

Now you felt like the awkward one when he just stared at you, except you didn’t notice that his eyes were just as starry as yours, and then, the soft brown of his eyes shifted and darkened at your response and you were kissing again, picking off right where you left off. 

Your lips parted and you felt him slip his tongue inside of your mouth, now really drinking you up and your hands flew upward to his sides, sliding them underneath his jacket and you felt him shudder against your hands as they touched his firm back above his shirt that matched yours.

The honest truth was you weren’t thinking about what this may imply, with how good Steve was kissing you and how intoxicated you both were quickly becoming on each other. It didn’t occur to you that Steve has probably been wanting to kiss you like this for a while now.

With your arms around him, you pulled him almost on top of you, your head smacking back against the window again as his tongue explored your mouth and all your worries just floated away as your mind was becoming fuzzy on him and the feeling he was bringing out of you.

“Steve,” you mumbled his name with a voice that was even unrecognizable to you, and it only urged him further, drinking up the next murmur of his name and you dragged your nails into his back (being wearing of his bandage) now feeling a sort of heat settling in the pit of your stomach as he practically devoured you in this Winnebago.

There was no telling where this might’ve gone, or how far either of you would’ve let it go, as Eddie was entering the Winnebago with a slam of the door saying, “Hey! So we’re- holy shit-” 

The rest of his sentence was cut off at the sight of the position you and Steve were currently in. He had come in so fast and unexpectedly that neither you or Steve pulled apart quick enough so Eddie saw, well, everything, especially Steve nearly on top of you and his tongue in your mouth.

All you really could do was pull your lips apart from each other and look at the metalhead with similar, wide eyes.

“Uh…yes?” you asked awkwardly after a few seconds of silence, feeling your cheeks heat up with embarrassment rather than whatever Steve had been making you feel.

Eddie stared at the both of you for a second longer before he cleared his throat and said, “Yeah, some of us need this to change in, so if you want to make out- there’s an entire field out there,” he gestured around almost dramatically, and you blinked a few times, “Right yeah, so I’ll give you guys a moment.” 

Neither you and Steve could properly respond to him as he was out of the vehicle in record time and you could hear some mumbling after the door shut and then Dustin saying quite loudly, “What? No, they’re not together- wait- what?”

A harsher wave of embarrassment came over you this time, realizing what had just happened between you and Steve, how heated it had gotten from a single peck to Steve’s tongue in your mouth and you pulling him on top of you. Your eyes trailed back to meet Steve as he leaned away from you, and your hands were falling to your lap. You wanted to say something, anything, but all that came out was a flustered breath at the loss of warmth you felt underneath his jacket. 

Thankfully, Steve spoke for you, and he asked after an awkward, light cough, “Are you uh- feeling better now?” 

You sat up more, flashing your eyes toward him before you looked down at your lap, noticing you were twiddling your thumbs nervously and all you could do was nod. Steve’s eyes stayed resting on yours, and before you knew it, he put his hand over yours. 

Your eyes lifted to meet him again, and you could see there was a small, almost shy smile on his lips before he said, “I think I want to take you out on your first date too, if we end up saving the world.” 

Your heart skipped a beat at that, and asked stupidly, “As like…a friend thing?” 

He chuckled at your response, and shook his head, “No…no not like a friend thing at all…to be honest what just happened…if it wasn’t clear that wasn’t a friend thing either, I’ve been wanting to do that forever.” 

His cheeks were still flushed, and his voice was still soft and low, only wanting you to hear him. And the way he was looking at you? His eyes were so intense, so adoring. Has he always looked at you like this and you just never noticed? 

You stayed staring at him with a soft, surprised gaze, genuinely taken back by all this, and you decided right then and there that you were going to kill Vecna/Henry/One just to go on this date with Steve and maybe kiss him like you just had until you couldn’t breathe anymore and without interruption. 

[buckymylove]

Midnight Snacks

Part two of Movie Night

Message: How about like reader wakes up to the sound Steve made while taking a picture ( light sleepr because hydra) and pretends to be asleep ‘till the others leave and then starts to slip out of bucky but he turns out to be awake too and they just have a late night snack or talk about how she’s welcome and referencing from his own experience.

Warnings: food fight! Lol, tons of fluff, mentions of hydra/torture ish?

Word count : 4,400

A/n: MASSIVE thank you and shout out to the wonderful orihimi-19, for helping me with this idea! Sending loads of love.🤍🤍 Im so sorry this took so long, i started this blog when I was in quarantine and have barely had time to write since 🤦‍♀️ Hope this lives up to the first one 😬 xx

Please do not translate or steal any of my works! Reblogs and likes are welcome and much appreciated if you would like! X

'Click'. It was only a faint noise in the background followed by muffled voices that you could barely make out. You tensed for a moment after being woken from your seemingly deep sleep. After the years you spent with Hydra you'd become used to being hyper aware of surroundings even when asleep - not that you ever got much sleep there - and it was a habit that since living with the avengers had slowly began to get better but was still very much there.

You caught the end of someone speaking, you picked up the word "photo". At this point you were beginning to wake but trying to stay completely still and keep up the image of being totally unaware of the happenings around you to calculate your next move in case you were in some sort of danger, briefly forgetting where you were and who you were with.

You suddenly became aware of a weight wrapped, securely but not tightly, around your waist and a warm, weirdly comforting presence behind you.

Then it all made sense. The voice you had heard was Nat's, the word 'photo' came back to your mind and you realised the sound you had heard was a camera. You were at the compound, with the avengers, you're new family. The thing behind you was in fact Bucky, the heavy mass laying over your waist - his beautiful black and gold vibranium arm. You relaxed as you came to your senses and discovered that you were in fact completely safe remembering the movie night that Bucky had so kindly invited you too, you had really enjoyed it but your thoughts went whirling again. When did you fall asleep?

Wait.

Bucky.

Why was Bucky's arm around you? Was he asleep too?

At this your eyes flew open, wide and slightly panicked. You were even more confused when you found the dark room completely empty. The only indicator that you hadn't dreamt up hearing the voices of your fellow avengers just minutes ago were the blankets, throw pillows and snack remnants lying around the room. You turned your head slightly to see that the tv was off so the movie must have finished, maybe they just went to bed? But then why were you and Bucky still there, cuddled up on the sofa? Oh god what if he's uncomfortable? Did I make us end up like this when I fell

asleep? What if he cant move?

You were spiralling in your own head to much to notice Bucky rouse from sleep behind you. He too had trouble getting proper sleep but he had gotten a lot better with his time with the avengers and the nightmares and sleepless nights seemed to be an increasingly rare occasion for him now. He'd felt you fidgeting and caught on to the fact that you'd tensed up. But what concerned him most was the sound of your breathing that had turned short and rapid. He could almost feel the panic coming off you in waves. He was immediately concerned that he had made you uncomfortable when he realised how you were both positioned. He loosened his arm around you and sat up slightly to get a look at your face to see that you were in fact awake, wide eyes staring ahead of you.

"Doll?" He whispered.

You didnt seem to even notice he had woken up.

"Doll?" He spoke just a little bit louder to try to get your attention without startling you. This time, it worked and you jumped slightly and turned quickly in his loose hold to face him. You pulled away from him slightly trying to create space between the two of you whilst still being in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Bucky, I didn't mean to put you in this position" you mumbled frantically. "I shouldn't have come last night im sorry-" "Hey no, doll look, my arm is wrapped around you" he chuckled slightly trying to keep it light and calm you. When that didn't work and he saw that you still looked guilty and uncomfortable, he continued.

"If anything I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable, you fell asleep during the movie and your neck was in an awkward position, I moved you slightly and I guess when we both fell asleep we ended up like this, its really not a problem but I understand if you don't like it. When I came to the compound I didn't like anyone in my personal space, not even Steve. No ones going to be mad at you for needing some time to adjust."

It was mostly dark in the room but the light from the kitchen illuminated his face enough for you to see the soft smile he gave you, you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding as you smiled back. He felt a wave of relief as he felt you relax, the tight tension dropping from your shoulders. "Thanks Bucky, it feels good to have someone who knows how I'm feeling" you said quietly. Bucky was almost shocked seeing as that was probably the most you'd ever talked to anyone here but you didn't catch it as he was almost beaming with joy at the fact that you were starting to let some of your walls down. You couldn't calm down the butterflies in your stomach at the sight of his beautiful smile. When you realised you'd been staring at each other for a little while you hurriedly turn your head trying to process the thoughts running through your mind.

"I'm hungry" he declared noticing the tension. You took that as your queue to stand up and he followed then lead the way to the kitchen.

"You?" He turned to ask you. You'd been slowly building up an appetite since being at the compound and you hadn't eaten much all day so you responded, "yeah, I could eat" still quietly but feeling an edge of confidence, certainly better now that it was just you and Bucky. The rest of the team were amazing but being with all of them at once was a bit overwhelming, however the last few weeks had felt a little lonely despite choosing to stay mostly in your room so it was nice to have the company of just Bucky for a while.

He smiled, glad that you had found a part of your voice, and excited to help you find the rest of it so that you could finally feel like yourself after all those years.

He went over to the cabinets, stocked with nearly everything you could imagine thanks to Tony, although if we're being honest it was more for selfish reasons since Tony was so sick of everyone grumbling that there was never any food. Tony was convinced they were all just picky eaters, "earths mightiest heroes my ass you're all a bunch of princesses" was something he had actually said to them before which they certainly did not appreciate and tony ended up in a choke hold courtesy of Nat.

"What ya feelin?" He asked looking from the cabinets back over to you. You were just sort of standing awkwardly by the kitchen island not sure what to do with yourself. Bucky tried to cover his amused smirk as he watched you be- well completely adorable in his opinion.

"You can sit down doll, I'll make ya something"

"Oh no- it’s ok uh thank you though" you didn't want to cause him any trouble, but you did as he suggested and sat down on one of the stalls.

"It's no problem at all, how'd ya feel about pancakes?"

You froze and stared at him with wide eyes for a moment. "Pan cakes? I thought cakes were made in ovens?" You questioned timidly. You felt kinda stupid despite it being none of your fault as you were taken by hydra when you practically still a baby.

You have a very vague and distant memory of sitting in front of cake, 2 single candles on top and someone, you assumed your dad, smiling in front of you. You even remember being handed a small slice of cake on two occasions at hydra. You were young and never told what the reason behind it was.

Bucky couldn't help but chuckle at the confused expression on your face but he felt bad when he saw your face fall.

" 'm sorry doll, you just look real cute when you're confused" 'you always look cute' he wanted to say but stopped himself.

A faint blush dusted your cheeks. You didn't know what you were starting to feel for bucky, you'd never felt it before you just knew it was different and that it was a good feeling.

"Look" he pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed something on it before turning it around so you could see it. There was a picture of a flat yet fluffy bread looking thing on the screen, there was a golden liquid drizzled over the top. You looked at it with shining eyes. "What's the goo stuff?" You asked him, eyes wide with curiosity. Bucky smiled at you, "thats maple syrup, delicious stuff you gotta try it" you finally looked away from the screen to smile up at him, "Ok".

He stood up, sending you a wink before tucking his phone back in his pocket.

He turned back at began grabbing stuff out of the cabinets. You saw him get eggs, flour and a pan out of the cupboards and laying it all out along with some other equipment he needed.

You watched on with curious eyes but felt bad watching him do all the work. "Is there anything I can do to help?" He was about to tell you it was no problem but looked back to see the hopeful expression on your face and once again had to try and hide the small curve of his lips. "If you wanna help then sure. c'mere" you beamed back at him as you clambered of the stall to come stand by him, and bucky made the decision right then that he would do anything to see you smile like that again.

He broke out of his daze when he saw your slightly clueless look, having no idea how to proceed with the items in front of you.

"Ok, im gonna put the stuff in here and you just gotta stir it together, make sure there's no lumps" he said, jokingly pointing his finger at you as if he was giving you a seriously important task. He handed you the whisk and you happily took it waiting for your orders to start mixing. He dumped some flour in the bowl, not bothering to measure since he made them all the time, and then cracked the egg into the bowl. "Mix that while I get the milk."

You did as he said and did your best to make the gooey mess into a smooth mixture as he poured out some milk. You stopped mixing to let him pour the milk in but clearly bucky was a bit too excited for the pancakes as he carelessly dumped the milk in the bowl letting it splash all over the place and getting you right in the face. Your jaw dropped open and bucky tried his absolute best not to laugh. "Oops - sorry doll" he said but you knew he wasn't. You turned to him with furrowed brows, jaw still hanging open and it was at that point that he lost it. He burst out laughing and you tried to look annoyed but ended up laughing with him.

With no idea it where it came from, a wave of confidence came over you and you grabbed a small handful of flour from the bag and through it at him.

He froze when he inhaled a mouthful of the disgusting stuff coughing for a second looking at you in complete shock. You panicked then thinking you'd over stepped but he just grabbed another egg and looked at you. "Oh its on" if you hadn't known he was playing around you would've been slightly scared but you barely had time to react before he smashed the egg on top of your head.

You squealed in horror as you felt in running down your face and scrunched yourself up as if a bucket of ice water had just been dumped down your back. Bucky was howling with laughter, pancakes long forgotten but he totally missed you grabbing a handful of the mixture before you smeared it right over his face. You were surprised at your own actions but couldn't help the uncontrollable giggles as you looked at bucky covered in pancake batter, assuming you looked pretty much the same.

The food fight continued until you'd literally run out of things to dump on each other. The kitchen was a complete mess, you hadn't got any further with making the pancakes and you and Bucky were covered head to toe in a sticky mess but neither of you could care less about any of that while you both sat on the floor howling with laughter and rolling around in the mess you'd created. You hadn't felt this happy literally since you could remember and Bucky felt almost the same way. It wasn't just the chaos you'd created that was making him happy but also the look of pure carefree joy on your face that made him absolutely elated. The laughter eventually died down and you were left staring at each other again but this time it wasn't awkward.

You hadn't realised how close the two of you had gotten until just then, on the floor faces mere inches away from each other. This time you didn't turn away. You couldn't. His eyes were literally mesmerising, the beautiful sea of blue looked right back at you.

Bucky was so incredibly proud of you and so so grateful for you to be willing to open up to him. In just one night you'd gone from barely talking to having a full on food fight. Granted it was just you and him, you still had a long way to go in regards to the rest of the team and eventually the rest of the world but right now you were doing amazingly despite everything you'd gone through. He felt so lucky to be the one that got to see the first glimpses of your incredible, blooming personality.

"We never did get any food" he whispered with a slight chuckle.

Your smile widened and you shook your head.

"How about bagels, I don't think pancakes are are an option right now" he questioned and you laughed. Bagels you did know.

"Yeah bagels sound good"

He got up, and, ever the gentleman, offered you his arm to guide you to your feet and not slip in the mess around you.

You looked around at said mess and felt a pang of guilt. "I'll clean up while you get the bagels" you bent down to start picking up eggshells. " don't be silly doll your not cleaning this up on your own.... Ya know what? it's kinda late what d'ya say we deal with this in the morning?" He said with a cheeky smirk.

"Wont they be mad?"

"Meh, they'll get over it. And if they don't I'll take full blame." He saw you about to protest, "uh uh uh no objections, I started it, plus that way most of them will be all over you with the "I'm sorry you had to deal with him" stuff so it'll just make them like you more."

You laughed but stopped to ask him, "you think they like me? I haven't been much fun"

"Of course they like you doll, they just don't know you that well yet, and they completely understand that you might not be ready to open up, they've all had their shit. I know they seem like the worlds biggest jerks but they're actually big softies, they'll get to know you and come to like you as much as I do" he sent you a big goofy grin and you couldn't help but blush at his words - again.

You still felt slightly guilty about the mess but didn't want to protest.

Bucky brought over two plain buttered bagels, you sat at the counter together to eat them.

"How d'ya like living here so far? You don't have to answer anything, I just remember finding it a bit over whelming, no ones being to much of an ass to you right? I know they're annoying but I'll l beat em up if they're pissing you off" you both chuckled at that. He joked about them but you could tell it was only that - joking. Bucky had actually come to love the team, as annoying as they can be.

"I really like it. I mean anything is an upgrade from hydra but this is definitely the best of the best. I don't know them very well yet, but im extremely grateful for the team, i cant imagine having to welcome someone in to a close family type situation but they've all been amazing. Especially you, thank you Bucky." You looked at him trying to convey your immense appreciation in your eyes. You'd started to feel your own personality coming through and it was thanks to him.

"Your extremely welcome doll, I just wanted you to know there was someone there for you. And about the team - don't worry at all, this family is ever expanding - pretty much anyone is welcome here. 'The Avengers' isn't just our job title its our family name" he chuckled. Your heart melted at that. You knew about bucky's past and you would argue that he'd suffered far worse than you, and yet here he was talking about his new found family with a bright smile on his face. It gave you so much hope and courage for how you could become, it was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, discovering that you could finally have your own life, with a family and friends. It made you think about everything you had finally been rewarded rather than everything hydra had taken from you.

"Your gonna be just fine doll, promise and I'm here for you whenever you need me. Please don't take that lightly. Anytime you feel that you need me for anything you call for me ok?" Your eyes glazed over and you felt another surge of unexpected confidence. You did what only felt right in that moment and threw your arms around his neck in a warm hug. He was surprised but his arms quickly came to wrap around your waist. You sat in the tight, warm embrace for a while with a feeling you couldn't describe. For so long touch had meant pain, and the same went for Bucky, but this was nothing but warm, comforting and caring.

Eventually and slightly reluctantly you pulled away from each other. "Thank you so much Bucky, for everything" he just smiled and brought his arm up to swipe a patch of flour off your forehead, gently with his thumb. His fingers lingered on your face longer than necessary and he brought his hand down to your cheek with featherlight touches. Your cheeks heated at the intimate gesture and you made no move to pull away and ruin this moment. You leaned into his touch ever so slightly which gave bucky the sign that you were okay. He brought his other hand up to brush a piece of hair behind your ear then cupped your face in his large calloused hands. You closed your eyes at the sensation. He leaned towards you, and you did the same, following his lead. Barely two inches separated you now. "You okay with this doll?" He whispered carefully, like he was afraid this moment could blow away at any second.

"Yes Bucky" you replied with the same volume. Your eyes were still closed but you could feel his warm breath against your skin.

He finally closed the gap, brushing his lips over yours so gently they almost didn't meet, giving you the chance to pull away or change your mind. When neither of those things happened Bucky took the chance to capture your lips in his own. Sucking so gently on your upper lip and pulling the sweetest sound from your throat. Letting go and pecking your lips once more before pulling away just enough to look at you.

Your eyes were still closed and your mouth was parted in pure bliss. Bucky, still cradling your face in his palms, admired your blissed out expression with an amused smirk on his lips. When you finally opened your eyes and saw him staring back at you, your blush deepened under his gaze. Bucky placed a sweet kiss on your cheek. "Your so beautiful" he murmured against your skin. Your face turned redder still (if that was even possible) at his words and his smile widened. He would take every chance he could to make you blush like that. It was the purest most adorable sight he'd ever seen.

You stared at each other for a little while longer before your eyes were forced closed in a yawn and you leaned forward to lay on his chest. Bucky chuckled. "Lets get you to bed doll"

"I think I need to shower first" you murmured tiredly. "Yeah.." he looked at the flour and egg that was now dried up all over the both of you"you might be right" you both chuckled.

You let out another yawn a bucky looked at you with a fond smile. "C'mon doll"

You'd almost fallen asleep on hist chest at this point. "You want me to carry you sweetheart" you let out a sound that sort of resembled a laugh in your sleepy state because you thought he was joking, but quickly realised you were mistaken as he stood up, taking you with him and wrapping your legs around his waist. You didn't protest and simply relaxed against him once more, your face buried in the crook of his neck, and let him carry you to your room. His room was on the way to yours from the kitchen and by the time he'd made it there you'd fallen dead asleep in his arms. He decided there was no way you would have the energy for a shower right now so he took you into his room and gently laid you in his bed deciding to worry about the mess and his sheets in the morning. He went to his bathroom, took off his shirt that was completely destroyed with pancake batter and then grabbed a towel, running it under warm water and going back to you.

He gently wiped your face clean and managed to get some of the mess out of your hair. He stood up fully intending on just sleeping on his couch tonight he felt you grab his arm. He looked back down at you and saw that your eyes will still closed and you were definitely still half asleep.

"Don't go" you mumbled, bucky could barely make out your words in your sleepy state and he wanted to be sure before he just assumed.

"You want me to stay here doll?" He whispered in the dark.

"Humamph mmm cuddles" Bucky chuckled at the unintelligible sounds you'd tried to communicate, but he did pick up on one word.

"You want cuddles?" He chuckled.

"Mmhm" was the only response he got.

He climbed into the bed next to you and hesitantly wrapped his arm around your waist still cautious of making sure you were comfortable, but as soon as he'd stopped moving you'd turned over to bury your face in his bare chest. He looked down at your sleeping form unable to wipe the giddy smile off his face when he saw how relaxed and absolutely angelic you looked. It wasn't long before he joined you in a deep, peaceful sleep.

*****

The next morning you and Bucky woke, much like you had the previous night, cuddled together, only this time there was no awkwardness or panic, just soft smiles and a gentle kiss pressed to your forehead.

Your peaceful bubble was pretty much destroyed as the door burst open to the sight of a very pissed of Sam, other grumpy avengers appearing behind him. You froze slightly panicked at the sudden appearance of everyone but Bucky squeezed you gently in his arms effectively erasing your panic. You watched as each of the avengers, the earths 'mightiest heroes' all melted to putty at the sight at the two of you curled up.

There was a chorus off 'awwss' and cooes from the team, other than Natasha who looked at you with a smirk. "This is adorable but we know you made that mess in the kitchen and you're going to clean it up, she winked before shutting the door. You heard her shooing the others way and turned to look at Bucky with a blush covering your face and a timid smile. He just chuckled and placed a kiss to your nose.

*****

Later that day, you were in the kitchen with some of the team, bucky obviously standing by your side, and Sam was proudly displaying the picture from the night before with you two curled up on the couch. You'd blushed at the image and bucky had beamed brightly pulling you into his side and placing a kiss on your cheek. You thought back to when you had heard the 'click' of a camera. So thats what that was, you concluded, slightly amused at the teams reactions to you and Bucky. "I thought it was a great picture opportunity, pretty proud of it actually" Steve beamed, failing to mention how he had fumbled with phone and ended up dropping it in a bowl of popcorn. 'Punk' Bucky thought seemingly annoyed but with a fond smile on his face as he looked at the photo then back to you.

Yeah. You'd be just fine.

@orihimi-19 @natswife3000 (couldn’t tag? :( )

[bakugousolos]

this is kind of angsty but like... dabi/bakugo/shinsou/denki comforting fem reader after she has a breakdown (...do not question the specificity /j)

Ty for the suggestion @grvyrd-drms !

Mostly gen!nuetral reader tbh idrk how to make it feel lenient towards afabs 🧍‍♂️ sorry 😕🤞🤞

Dabi - While dabi was out “working” you were simply laying in bed thinking. Then it hit you. “Why does dabi even love me?” Suddenly you weee spiraling down a rabbit hole of negative thoughts and soon enough you were bawling. Maybe an hour later, he came home to see you with a tear-stained face asleep. “Doll?” He asked worryingly. Next thing you knew he was holding you to his chest whispering how much he loved you and that you were the only reason he’s trying to fix himself </3

Bakugou - you were in the middle of cutting onions for dinner when you accidentally slit your finger. You’re eyes were already blurry, how could you even see? The problem is, blood was a major trigger and you couldn’t stop thinking about past self harm. On the floor, you were crying and freaking out - throwing your hands on your head and getting blood every where - realizing your hair is drenched in the crimson liquid, and eventually passing out lol. Once he was back, dawg was scared shitless. He freaked and ran around looking for bandages. Once he shook you up you could tell you both were drained and he banned you from cooking again. You guys 100% had pizza while watching a movie and cuddling. I’m willing to bet he called you dumb for even thinking about sh.

Shinsou - lately tests have been getting more extreme for you in college, which at first wasn’t bad. You got to stay up with Hitoshi - even if you were studying. The only problem is, you completely loose a normal idea of what time it is and you always end up with hallucinations due to lack of sleep. Straight off you realize it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s not. This idea starts up really bad paranoia/anxiety so after some time you panic and your heart rate goes sky high. What’s real? What’s not? Hell, this Drabble could be fake too!! Don’t worry though, Shinsou sees and just calmly grabs melatonin gummies so you can get some rest for once 😭. He’s so unfazed too, like it’s kind of upsetting. Hoping for cuddles - gets sleep instead. 😞🤲

Kaminari - okay with Denki, he seems like the type to accidentally short-circuit and hurt himself trying to help you … but for the sake of this, he’s gonna be fine at comfort. You guys are happily watching a movie and when he brings in a massive bowl of popcorn you start to get upset. “How much have I eaten already?” You think. It upsets you with just the thought of eating and when he brings so much food it’s hard not to get upset. Before you know it you feel yourself shedding tears. He feels something wet drop on his hand and just knew that you were crying. He doesn’t exactly know what to do so he squeezes you tighter and just shushes you. Quickly realized it was the food and told you were perfect just the way you are and that if you were gonna let food beat you then fighting villians definitely isn’t the way to go. His stupid joke has you laughing and later you find yourself eating with him. 😈🙏

GUYS IDK HOW TO PROPERLY DO SMTH LIKE THIS 😭😭.

I literally had sm trouble trying to do this and istg it came out so bad LMFAOO. I really feel like this was such a letdown and my original version was great - but i closed the app and my whole draft got erased 😀. Decided to get it out earlier than planned tho because i feel bad. Hopefully this is atleast a little up to the expectation 😭.

Happy reading (๑>◡<๑)

[larentsaloud]

burden of proof

gorya has been heartbroken the moment thyme accidentally dragged lita out of the party. she became a laughing stock and while she could bare it under any other circumstances she just told his mom she was here for HIM and he did THAT.

she’s been patiently waiting on him to declare HER as his girlfriend the way he did when whoren tried to get it on with her. thyme has been claiming her as HIS for so long that she was absolutely gobsmacked when he went into radio silence upon lita’s arrival. massive red flag.

what thyme doesn’t seem to have figured out, that it’s HIM who’s changed first. bare with me. the subtle changes occur when lita x thyme share a moment to what i can only describe as a slight lita panic because thyme is taken aback and on one hand he’s not about to fall in love with someone who bites him on another he is susceptible to falling prey to women who fight him with all their might. gorya case in point.

gorya has been waiting for thyme to apologise and beg for forgiveness but instead he has the audacity to blame her. that’s his second strike. you can tell she’s disappointed but not surprised. that’s OLD thyme behaviours.

thyme utterly oblivious to his faults permits lita to her orbit and doesn’t state with the usual conviction after lita and thyme spend the night at gorya’s that in fact gorya is his gf.

another missed opportunity.

gorya is not blind. she can sense the change miles away and the request for patience is after she’s been more than patient. she literally made friends with his fiancé in order to appease him and also because gorya is kind and not only that yes she loves him and by extension welcomes any crazy additions to her nest.

even a fiancé.

imagine doing that? imagine sleeping under one roof with the love of your life who is officially about to be married to your competition whom you ultimately care about and consider in high regard.

her resolve falters because thyme is placing the burden on HER rather than comprehending her heart.

so when gorya sees the plaster, sees the ease with which they move in their elite lifestyle and how they both treat her life as a holiday from their life she is quite frankly peeved off and hurt.

thyme fails to mention gorya and the excuse of ‘oh he doesn’t know what lita will do ‘when the mother knows about gorya’s existence doesn’t cut it.

how much worse can it be are you telling me lita who was told to study thyme like we study taylor swift as a university subject does not know about gorya?

really? her female intuition? no?

because gorya has noticed the shifts she’s starting to doubt. before the plaster incident she was still convinced and believed in thyme but ren gives her this STUPID idea that lita’s feelings are of consequence.

ren? they’re not. what matters here was how gorya feels and how thyme feels and ren only propellers her insecurities and sets the insecurities wheel in motion.

after all was not gorya going to fight for her man? her resolve waivers not because of what everyone says and does. yes it did affect her spiralling into anxiety but what really convinced her was thyme and his actions.

or lack thereof. to recap.

he took off with lita in a freudian slip

he did not apologise

he did not declare she was his gf the way he did when fighting ren

he asked for patience not appreciating what she’s already done

he pushed all her buttons by talking about lita and shoving lita in her face without once considering she might be jelly because he was so SURE of his feelings he never considered HERS

gorya had to leave him because he was forcing her to compromise her values. she values integrity and lying to lita and lying to themselves was too much for her. gorya wants something transparent. she’s never asked thyme to change. he did that out of his own volition because he needed to and wanted to.

she does not owe him. she loves him but he needs to recognise he can’t have his cake and eat it.

she deserves better than to be a secret mistress. now you’ve been told why she’s right and he’s wrong so you might as well help others by reblog.

[chudleycanonficfest]

I can't imagine my life without you

Day 13, Story #1 is by @cheesyficwriter

Title: I can’t imagine my life without you 

Author: cheesyficwriter

Pairing: Ron/Hermione

Prompt: Song fic (lyric prompt), “Imagine” by Ben Platt

Rating: T

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of postpartum depression

I can’t imagine my life without you

It’s a day like no other, leaving Hermione wishing it could be over. 

The transition back to work at the Ministry full-time after giving birth to little Rosie presents more challenges than anticipated. Each day, she chips a fraction away at her massive to-do list, endless amounts of paperwork and research for upcoming trials, leaving her only mildly satisfied with what she’s accomplished. 

In reality, Hermione is aware that it’s in her nature to obsess over all aspects of her work that could go wrong. She always prides herself on her professionalism and now struggles with maintaining the work-life balance necessary for a new mum. 

Most days, she arrives at the Ministry too tired to think straight. The hours are long, and as someone running on frequent nights with minimal sleep, it’s difficult for Hermione to be as productive as she used to be in the department. 

Rosie is a fussy baby, and the hours not spent at work are spent fighting for ways to keep her calm — holding her, rocking, changing her nappy, feeding, entertaining. It’s unnatural for Hermione to feel like she has no clue what she’s doing, and that realization is frightening for a first-time parent.  

Ron is a doting father, who seems to be having a much simpler time adjusting to the new addition to the family. He approaches parenting with natural ease. As soon as Ron picks Rosie up, she stops crying. If Ron walks into the room, a smile lights up their daughter’s face. He brings joy into her world, leaving Hermione with an overwhelming feeling of uncertainty if she is cut out for her new role as a mother. 

Although Hermione tries to throw herself back into work to escape her struggles in her home life, the exhaustion takes a toll on her, resulting in far more emotional outbursts than deemed appropriate at work. 

It isn’t easy to remain patient when challenges seem insurmountable, goals unattainable, and negative thoughts creep in to seep the joy out of her day. 

As Hermione walks through the floo network to head home for the evening, she mentally prepares herself for the madness that she is certain she will walk into, if every other evening that same week is any indication. 

For the first time in weeks, Hermione doesn’t arrive home to a crying baby. In fact, the stunning silence brings a wave of panic, prompting Hermione to withdraw her wand and call out,

“Ron?“ 

Soft, melodic music floats through the room, and Hermione begins walking towards the source as she listens for the lyrics. 

Your eyes give life a new meaning

It’s like I found the North Lights

I never knew what I needed

Until I felt your hand holding mine

The sight Hermione uncovers has her at a standstill in the doorway of the kitchen. 

There is a self-stirring saucepan on the stove and several knives chopping potatoes. The sink overflows with bubbles, piles of dirty dishes sticking out from underneath the suds. 

Ron is there in the center of the room, cradling Rosie in his arms. He has a flannel thrown over his shoulder and a dummy in his hand as he bounces their cooing daughter.

A flat disc spirals on the gramophone in the corner of the room, the sound coming from it reverberating off the walls. 

Yeah, you say I’m your hero

But you are the one that saved me

If I ever lost you

I’d fall to my knees

Hermione leans against the door frame, her heart swelling with great love for her little family. She watches as Ron twirls around the room with a squealing Rose, and he’s dancing with a rhythm that she didn’t know he possessed. 

Covering her mouth with one hand, Hermione stifles a giggle, thinking back to a younger Ron and his clunky two left feet when they danced together at Bill and Fleur’s wedding. He was so nervous then — they both were — and she marvels at how far they’ve come. 

Dancing is about letting go and being free. When nothing else works — as Hermione suspects is the case with Rosie, who has quite the set of lungs on her — turning on music seems to do the trick. 

I can’t imagine my life without you

I can’t imagine one night without you

Seeing her family in the kitchen does wonders to lift Hermione’s mood, and it’s as if all of the stress and negativity just melt away. All she can see is her husband and daughter, and Hermione becomes conscious of the heart beating inside her chest in time with the steady rhythm of the music. 

She’s torn between laughing, and crying, and bouncing along, and crying some more. Sometimes the best surprises can change the entire tone of a single day from the simplest of tasks. 

In the Granger-Weasley household, dancing is their reset button. 

If something happened, don’t know what I’d do

I can’t imagine, I can’t imagine my life without you

Ron has his back towards Hermione, slowly rocking Rosie from side to side with one hand while flourishing his wand towards the plates to start setting the supper table for three. 

“What d'ya say, Rosie?” Ron murmurs before plopping a kiss on his daughter’s cheek. “Shall we tell your mum to stop gawking at us and come join us?”

Your eyes give life a new meaning

It’s like I found the North Lights

Oh, I never knew what I needed

Until I felt your hand holding mine

Hermione gasps as Ron pivots around, meeting her gaze with a lazy grin and a wink. 

Rosie squirms in Ron’s arms, and she’s reaching towards her mother with glee. 

With a shaky breath, Hermione walks forward to take hold of her daughter, who rests her little head on Hermione’s shoulder. 

“She’s missed her mummy today,” Ron comments as he leans over Rose’s head of ginger hair to press a soft kiss to Hermione’s temple. 

“Mmm.” Hermione’s eyelids droop to a close. “Is she the only one?“ 

“Not a chance, Granger.” Ron brushes a hand down her cheek, making her eyelids flutter open. He’s studying her like he has a window into her soul, and it’s as if all of the emotions she’s felt throughout the day are now on full display for him to see. 

Ron always does have the impeccable ability to get her, particularly when she’s stressed beyond belief. 

“Bad day, love?" 

"Better now,” Hermione replies, burying her nose into the small patch of curls on Rose’s head, inhaling the sweet scent of fresh strawberries and warm milk. A smell that is so wonderfully baby. 

Her baby. 

Yeah, you say I’m your hero

But you are the one that saved me

If I ever lost you

I’d fall to my knees

When Hermione first arrived back at their cottage for the evening, all she wanted to do was fall underneath the covers and wallow. It could’ve been easy for her to fall into a looping pattern of self-pity.  

Seeing her family provides a sense of calm in the natural ebb and flow of life. However big or small, bad days are only temporary. 

Now, standing with the two most important people in her life, she’s filled with a sense of gratitude for their constant presence. Thanks to them, she knows what it means to be happy and to see the beauty in tough moments. 

I can’t imagine my life without you

I can’t imagine one night without you

If something happened, don’t know what I’d do

I can’t imagine, I can’t imagine my life without you

“It’s okay, love.” Ron cradles her cheek with one hand, a gesture that he knows always calms her. “It’s okay to let it all go.”

He rests his forehead to hers, and they slowly start to sway together along to the gentle rhythm of the song playing in the background. Rose squeals from the space between her parents’ bodies, reminding them of her presence. Both Ron and Hermione chuckle, planting matching kisses on both sides of their daughter’s cheeks. 

A wide grin spreads across Hermione’s face, and a familiar set of words filter into her thoughts: Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. Fond memories flashing through her mind of Professor Dumbledore — long white beard, spectacles, and all. 

It’s easy to lose sight of what’s most important when drowning in negativity. Dancing provides an opportunity for her to slow her thoughts down and root herself in the present. 

Her family is the source of light in her darkest times. 

I can’t imagine my life without you

[lieutenant-simp]

Stuck With Pity

GN! Reader x Wanda Maximoff

Warnings: One cuss word? Slight Angst I guess

Summary : Getting stuck in the elevator is less than ideal but it’s even less so when you are claustrophobic. To make matters worse you’re stuck with the girl you’re secretly in love with.

Gif not mine

A/N: This is my first Wanda Fic. I also didn’t proof read so take that as you will! I am claustrophobic to a certain extent so if this is not entirely accurate I am sorry. I also did not want to be as angsty as this is and please please leave me requests!

Words : 1,395

Part Two! Here

Groaning you reach over and grab the phone that has effectively woken you up for the second time that morning. Looking at who’s calling makes you groan even louder. Steve is relentless, since you’ve joined, to create some “team bonding” between everyone has resulted in breakfast with everyone on the weekends. You sit up slowly, extremely tired since you had been up training the night before, aside from it being 7 in the fucking morning.

You stand wincing slightly at your soreness but you push through it, after all, you’re an Avenger you can take a little pain. That doesn’t mean you can’t complain about it though. Walking over to the closet you grab a sweatshirt and put it on before walking into your bathroom. Tony may be hard to be around occasionally but he is quite accommodating. Brushing your teeth you try to wake yourself up, you pray that Steve made coffee. You walk to the elevator, push the button and wait for yourself to reach the communal kitchen that everyone is probably already at. You normally take the stairs but since your late, you do what you can so you don't get a yelling from Steve later.

Stepping in you wait for it to start and the floors to start counting down, but it stops before reaching your floor. You sigh, you didn’t want to be in here any longer than you had to.

“Geez Y/N/N at least pretend to be excited to see me” You look up slowly to see Wanda giggling at you. You give her a small smile, blush tracing your ears from embarrassment. You start to stutter an apology and explain yourself but she cuts you off. “Don’t worry I know how you feel about small spaces.”

You look down for a second before laughing as the doors close, “I’m an Avenger I shouldn’t be like this, it’s ridiculous.” Wanda squeezes your shoulder reassuringly as the doors close on you both again. Tony assured you when he put you on one of the top floors that his elevators are of the highest quality and surprisingly fast to ease your worry about it.

Closing your eyes and trying to focus on the music and Wanda's warm presence beside you to distract yourself from the panic that not only because elevators are terrifying for you, but because Wanda has always made you a little nervous.

Since you got there, you have just been pulled towards her. You don't know what it is about her, whatever it is it makes you extremely nervous and leaves you a flustered stuttering mess. Wanda is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen, to you, she glows gently. Her blue eyes bright wherever she looks and it makes your heart skip a beat whenever you look at her. The aura that surrounds her always warm and welcoming. You look back at Wanda and see her smiling a little and you join her.

Looking away and back at the numbers that seem to slowly tick by the longer your in there, makes your breathing slightly faster. Sensing your discomfort Wanda grabs your hand to try and keep you grounded, which helped a little, but now the butterflies flip in your stomach and your face is bright red. She gently squeezes your hand to pull you back. The sensation providing a bit of comfort in the very unpleasant place you put yourself in. You look at her and she opens her mouth to say something.

*THUMP*

Well, that sense of comfort didn’t last long now did it. You look around trying to figure out what happened. The number on the elevator not showing where you're at, it has stopped. You let go of Wanda's hand before reaching out and grabbing the bar the wraps around the elevator, completely forgetting why you were in there in the first place. Why didn’t you take the stairs? So many thoughts spiral around your head and you slowly sink to the ground to feel something, to make the room feel bigger, anything.

“Jarvis, what happened,” Wanda asks suddenly. You don’t even hear his answer as you put your head in your hands. Whatever happened did not sound good.

You don't even feel an arm wrap around you as you just sit in your thoughts. You were trapped, in an elevator, with the girl you have a massive crush on, and now you were embarrassing yourself as you were having a panic attack. Panic from not only from being trapped but you were very clearly making a fool of yourself, Wanda can read minds and your thoughts are very very loud right now.

“Breathe Y/N, breathe” Wanda talks slowly to you careful not to disturb you. She talks to you trying to distract slightly, breathing does slow down slightly to get your thought in order more. You look up at her, her heart breaks at the fear in your eyes. “Can you talk?” you shake your head no, your breathing picks back up again as you have more time to think about what’s happening. You feel the gentle arms around you again. Instead of pulling away you wrap your arms around her and focus on her breathing trying to match it. Hearing her heartbeat you feel her slip into your head to talk, to understand, and help you. She feels what you’re feeling, she feels the fear, but most importantly she hears you. Hears your panic, in your head she calls out.

“I’m here Y/N/N” You look up at see her eyes focused on yours, becoming very aware of your situation, you back away slowly. As much as you longed for the physical contact, it kills you to know that to her it’s purely platonic. You shake your head gently the thoughts of where you are long gone as more come swirling in.

This morning was turning out to not be your day.

“Your thoughts are loud you know” You look up at Wanda the shock on your face clearly present.

“I’m sorry” The look of pity on her face breaks your heart. You didn’t want her pity. “What did you hear?” She looks at the ground slowly avoiding your eye contact. You don't even want to hear what she thinks, the look on her face full of pity and sadness for you. You're not weak, and you do not know what she heard. Whether it was about being stuck or your feelings for her didn't matter. You can tell she doesn't romantically like you, and you just wanted to be alone. You had a lot to think through when you can process your thoughts. You look back up to Wanda and you watch her mouth open slightly.

Suddenly you feel the elevator start moving again. The look of disappointment clear on Wanda's face before she can say anything. You pull away and shake yourself from your thoughts as you stand. She stands next to you as you pull away. Your thoughts not breaking from her, however. What you didn’t know is that she did actually have feelings for you. She shakes her head slowly the tears ready to spill from her eyes. Her thoughts also running just as fast as yours are, she wanted to tell you how she felt but you the look you gave her earlier had shown fear but anger towards her. She was trying to help she just wanted to help.

The door to the elevator opened and you don’t even bother for breakfast anymore, you’re headed straight for the stairs. You don't see the confused look the Avengers in the kitchen give each other as you walk past them. Never again will you take the elevator. Remembering what had happened in there with Wanda, sadness clutches your heart as you start to cry. The pure pity that was emitting from her eyes when she looked at you after reading your mind only proving the point of your love being one-sided, after all, Wanda was perfect and you, well you were you. An Avenger that is scared of small spaces.

What you didn’t know was that Wanda did love you back but you both had misread the situation. She didn’t even leave the elevator just letting it close again before crying softly in her hands. For once reading someone’s thoughts didn’t answer any questions but only showed more.

[semischarmed]

Clarity

My hot roommate Zach is the perfect man. I think I won the cosmic lottery when we got paired freshman year. “Roommates for life!” he shouted, as he wrapped a tone arm around me in a side-hug. I chuckled, of course. Who knew the cutest guy in our dorm was such a dork. I remember that moment vividly, committed every last detail to memory. In what he likely only barely remembers, I recall to the last detail. I play it back often -even moreso, nowadays: The crisp autumn breeze. The filtered sunlight through amber trees, bathing us both in golden afternoon. The warmth of his touch, and the unintended taunt from his arm pulling me towards him and his jacket ever so slightly wrapping over my back. The slight, dense smell of coffee wafting from him and his minty breath cutting through. Thats how I remember him. Warm. Sincere. Safe. Zach would probably say that was the moment we became best friends. I, on the other-hand, would say that was the exact moment when I fell for him.

We did everything together from then on: Ate together, joined the same clubs, signed up to the same classes- that first year we were inseparable. Best friends to a tee. I’m not even sure what he saw in me- the guy was a hell of a lot more sociable than I was. He could literally find anyone else on campus, yet I had the privilege of being his roommate and friend. I commit that wonderful first year to my life. It is my happiest year to date. I commit that version of Zach to myself as well.

Trouble started early in our second year. He spent all summer back home, hanging out with his high school friends and his brothers. When we finally met back in our new room, he seemed distant. Still, I made the effort, getting closer and closer to him every day. He’d been sending signals too, I think. A stray touch, just a half second too long. A lingering stare in my direction. A gentle smile when I ask him a bout his day. I had to know for myself with certainty. 

So, one terrifying October night, I asked him straight up.The fucker laughed. Cruel, hideous, insensitive laughter. I’d never felt more alone in my life than when he laughed at my confession. That broke something in me. I quickly ran to my bed, crying myself to sleep. Without skipping a beat, Zach left the room to grab a bite to eat, seemingly unchanged by my outright confession. I had never been so humiliated in my life, yet only he would ever know. Still I felt him hold that over me in the weeks to follow like a dark cloud. Of course he’d still offer hangouts. He’d ask for help with some dumb assignment or try to get me to open up by faking some issues about himself. He was mocking me. I felt his sneer, ever-present from behind. Thats when I began researching alternative methods to exact what I needed from him.

Why a private university had a book like this is beyond me. It was a spellbook. A dangerous one, at that. All manner of incantation and processes regarding the human soul. I poured myself the next few weeks on its pages religiously. Translation is a massive pain in the ass but it gets done.

“Love cannot be created by spell,” it stated. Leave it to a fucking book to let me down too. I wiped away stray tears until I caught sight of the last batch of spells. I sighed at its contents. Fine. I couldn’t make him love me through magic, but I could have him the next best way. His body. The final section of this book of spells is, of course, the curses and enchantments required to possess another being.

———

The preparations have been made. It’s another late, awkward night in our room, where he just passes by, gives me a nod and a grimace and then heads to bed. This night would be different. I chant the words. The price is steep. Half of my body’s lifespan for the ability to take someone over in their sleep. That’s the one I settled on. Of course, there were more permanent spells outlined, but this seemed to be a happy medium.

The magic is dark in nature, and I feel the cloud over me deepen. I feel myself detach. It’s weightless, but grounded. Makes sense, given the purpose of this spell. I watch my target and lick my astral lips. There he was, happily dreaming without a care in the world. I study every curve, like sculpture. He is muscled, but tone. Zach likes to sleep with his shirt off, so I get to see what powerful chest up close. I watch as powerful lungs, drawn in air before gently dispersing it. Perfection. I watch that beautiful face lie still in a satisfied smile. Angelic. This body is power, incarnate. My power, soon.

I follow closes until I am but inches from his face. I stir around him, slightly. I want him to know it’s me. Bleary eyes open and he gives a weak smile when he sees me. “Dude-” the smile quickly fades to shock. “Wait what the fuck...” in sinful glee I push into my man. He involuntarily absorbs my particles, my spirit. He tries to push me away, to get me off him. Hands are useless to stop me. I phase through them with no resistance. His breath quickens as he begins to panic. This only further brings me into him, as he is forced to breath in the only air around him-me. 

Then, he starts choking, trying to force the parts of me in him out. I am unfazed. Instead, in I keep filling into him until all of me is inside. This is the way we were meant to be. He pulses and convulses and chokes while I align myself into him. I revel in Zach. In being Zach. Despite all the shit he pulled this year, he still is perfection. My perfection, now. 

I command his lips mine. “Invoke me. Become me. Manipulate this body. Explore us. Stay, in me. I want you here, forever.” They’re not words he usually uses. I rile in a frenzy when these phrases leave his lips at my behest. When his voice becomes my own and I make us moan. When his body complies with my every whim. When Zach’s flesh is mine. It is euphoric. Orgasmic even. I intend to follow through, to reward it. To pleasure it. God it feels good being in him. Being him. He may not love me, but love me he will, even if indirectly. Every waking moment I spend inside this man will be a moment of him loving himself, loving me. Now, And then I feel it. I clutch my head in pain. Zach.

Veins strain in his forehead as he puts every last effort to exorcise me out. Resistance almighty in this body. In tears I feel myself stripped from momentary heaven. He chokes as a dense fog that is me escapes his mouth. He is successful.

When I am kicked out of his body abruptly, I flare in anger. How could he do this? How could he? I look back at my slumbering form. No matter. My resolve is steel. Somehow, somewhere deep inside me, I knew somewhere it had to come to this. I chant the final curse mentioned in the spellbook. The price is the steepest of them all.

I watch as my physical form dissipates. I writhe as I am renewed with newfound energy. Potency. Virility. I’ve put in everything. Everything I ever was into becoming him. Zach would be mine, no matter what. 

Before he can readjust, before he can even think about what had just occurred, I flood back inside my man. Inside my body. My one true body, now, given what I had to sacrifice. I make him smile while he takes me in. Smile in preparation of a new, permanent driver. I thrust my astral form inside its new home. It’s warm. Roomy. muscular. We make this body grin, shout, cry, writhing all the way in its sheets in our battle for control. I’m not even sure he knows what he’s doing when he fights me- but he always was a natural in everything he picked up. I feel our shared muscle contract and relax as it is forced to accept its two masters- soon to be one. Soon to be me. Zach’s soul was strong but no one was a match for the full force of an entire human body-turned-spirit. I feel his soul start to lose footing. Jackpot. Immediately fill take its place. My place.

I was far deeper in Zach now than I was before. His essence struggles, trying to escape me but I keep us steady, hold us tight. Our minds begin to connect this time around and we sync. The book said this was a necessary step. I blink away our tears into a satisfied smile. Our face is flush from the fight, flush from my greatest victory. “You’re mine forever,” I think to myself, My words. The verbalization of my invasive thoughts in his head- they’re spoken in his tongue. In his jock-like inflection. I even now think in his voice. Of course, it’s relatively minor in the grand scheme of things. Yet it is undeniable proof. The finality of it all. Proof that my body no longer existed in this world. Proof that for me, forever, Zach would be my default. Just one last step to it all. One last push- I’ve already given this much, there was no going back. I would displace Zach as the true owner of this body. It’s as the final line in the book states: “Encapsulate their soul, devour it, digest it, make it yours. Then, true control at long last.”

Tears stream down our shared cheeks as we both realize the true gravity, the true consequences of my actions. We are synced now, but I haven’t yet completed the process. So, our emotions are a mix. So, it’s bittersweet. He’s mine. We’re one. I’m finally with Zach in a way most intimate. Despite it all, he isn’t fighting back. Why?

I rage inside him, wanting him to be mad, wanting him to hate me, to give me justification my ultimate transgression. He offers none. Instead, I am hit with borrowed clarity. More of his memory floods into me and I begin to cry. 

I watch my every worst moment through his lens, relive the demons of my past and yet, from his perspective they never looked quite as dark or traumatic as I had made them out to be. Even my confession itself, my initial catalyst, had merely been a blip in Zach’s mind. If anything, he had been more concerned that his own nervous laughing was the cause of my spiraling. I quickly realize how much wasted time I spent, building up Zach into this god in my head. My god. In the end, he was human after all.

I feel Zach pull instances of himself from my memories in turn. It turns out he had many, many insecurities as well. Many moments where he needed validation or support. Many moments, even in recent memory, where I had never picked up on on his fear and self doubt. An offhand comment here. Some self-deprecation there. Of course, stupid me always there to respond by telling him to quit joking around. I felt the months of torment he felt in my coldness after my confession. He wasn’t making fun of me or being an ass, he wasn’t even patronizing (well, he wasn‘t trying to at least)- he thought he was losing a friend. The guy was just a bit oblivious. God I was so dumb. Of course, he blames himself for my eventual actions. Poor guy. Zach didn’t deserve any of this- he never did. “Thank you” he cries in new clarity.

In mental tears I begin to undo my connection to him. It’s not something he had the capacity to do himself- I made that a reality when I used my physical form as tribute. I know the price which must be paid, for my greatest sin, born from misunderstanding. There wouldn’t be much left for me- the price for the spell was my physical body after all. It didn’t matter. I made that choice for myself when I recited the spell. But Zach... he had no choice at all. He still had a chance at a life. A life well-lived with knowledge and confidence gained from my memory. It was the least I could give him.

I begin to drift away as I balance the cosmic scales. I detach the last of myself from Zach, ready to give him back his body, ready to return him to his life. It’s merely a reverse of the process from before, yet it all feels lighter somehow. I take it as a sign of karmic justice. Of course, I am scared. Who knows what awaits me? Maybe I can find another body to inhabit. Maybe one in a coma. Maybe i’ll be reincarnated. Maybe nothing. Maybe I’ll just vanish on the spot...

Zach doesn’t give me the chance to find out. I feel his astral hand holding on to mine. His face is sympathetic. Kind. Warm. Like it used to be. Like it always was. His body leans up to pull me into a warm embrace. I start crying in spirit. “You, you don’t have to do this-” 

“I know” he says. He pulls me tighter. “Roommates for life, remember?” Now he’s crying. “There’s no way to go back- we both know that, but you still got a life to live-we both do.” He smiles as he guides me to himself. I reattach to him. We weave our souls as one. “C’mon man, I told you I grew up sharing a room.” I am a complete mess of emotions at this point. Unworthiness, Love, Relief. I feel his mess too. Neither of us knew where to go from here, but we both knew we’d face it together.

The experience was sobering, to say the least. We cried together that night. We cried at newfound realization. We cried at irreversibility of what I had done. Hell, we even cried at the extra rent that had to now be paid. I had no way of undoing what I did, and Zach wouldn’t let me go. In the end, we decide to just give it a go, a resolve to live as one person. “Zach 2.0,” as he jokingly put it. Dork.

———

“A happy accident,” is what Zach called the events of that night. He always was the optimist. Although, these days, I’m a bit of an optimist now too. I am Zach now too, after all. All things considered, we’ve done quite well together. Zach 2.0 was everything. We were smart, intuitive, confident, compassionate. We’ve made this body the healthiest it’s ever been. Hell, together we even graduated with honors, something neither of us could ever hope to do alone. Both our parents were real proud of that one- he told mine at my funeral that we had been together and we’ve been in close contact ever since. By no means were we the perfect man though. There was no perfect man. We’ve had our share of fights, struggles, times where one of us would take full control of this body we share, shut the other out.

Once in a blue moon, we both dream of what our lives could have ended up as, had I not done what I did or had he let me disappear that night. In retrospect, I really do think my life had a lot of things going for it. Hindsight is always 20/20, as he likes to say. I saw many an opening, so many areas for improvement that my younger self was blinded by in lust and perceived betrayal. There was so much life I could have lived, had I just not opened that stupid book. I don’t dwell on it too much though. We’re both quite happy sharing this body. I’m living in one body with my crush, whats not to like?

The first few months were quite jarring. Our friends and family would see us happy and outgoing at one moment and then flip to quiet and reserved on a flip of the switch. Gratefully, they been patient with us, assuming it was the byproduct of a grieving boyfriend. The more years I grow with him, the more alike we have become. Sharing one body and living one life tends to do that. I’ve probably rubbed off on him a little too. He’s just a bit more analytical now, a bit more perceptive, and I’ve learned to let loose every once in a while. Altogether, we make a great team. We’ve even managed a slew of relationships along the way. Hell, he’s even gone out with some guys-no doubt a byproduct of my soul being a part of him. Of course, in the ultimate cruel twist of fate, they never last- he tells me “none ever match me”. Well of course they can’t. I’ve lived every moment with him, felt his every thought, lifted him when he was up, consoled him when he was down. Ironically, in a roundabout way, the spell did end up causing love, causing for him to fall for me- at the cost of us never being able to be a couple in the physical sense. Guess you really can’t have it all.

In the few years we spent together my love for him has only deepened. I know he feels the same way. We are one person, after all. All things considered, it’s not a bad setup. If love on the physical plane happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t- then we still always have each other. Regardless, I’m sure we’ll find someone out there for the both of us, someday-there’s that optimism again. Of course, we don’t pine for it. Our main focus has always been each other. Growing together. We’ve got a whole life yet to live. And he’ll have me with him every step of the way. And we can’t wait to face it all, together.

-End-

Eh, it’s a bit underdeveloped but I’m not a novelist and I didn’t want to spread this out over parts. Going for something a little different with number 14- hope y’all like it!

[willowcrowned]

for the earth!anakin au: but what if time in a gffa and on earth move differently? so like it’s been a lot longer for anakin so when obi wan shows up he’s like prime aotc mullet obi wan and anakin is like... f*ck i Do Not remember him being this hot.

so normally i have zero feelings about obikin whatsoever, but this au was co-created with someone else, and apparently talking to her flips a switch in my brain so that I do have feelings about obikin (most of them because of sentences that start with “hey wouldn’t it be funny if...”), so I am happy to inform you that there isn’t just an obikin version of this au, but several.

Version One (Normal Earth)

 Obi-Wan crash lands when Anakin is twenty two and just out of college. He does not recognize Anakin. Anakin recognizes him. Because he’s a massive slut, his first reaction to Anakin is to try to sleep with him. Repeatedly. Anakin isn’t sure whether to be flattered that Obi-Wan wants to sleep with him, or hurt that Obi-Wan can’t recognize him. (Normally I’d say that Obi-Wan should be let off easy because he clearly has brain damage, but in this case... I mean jesus christ he could just keep it in his pants and it wouldn’t be a problem.) Anakin has a lot of old angst surrounding it— if Obi-Wan doesn’t recognize Anakin, does that mean he’s forgotten him? Does that mean he never cared enough to begin with? Anakin has many spiraling angst sessions. 

When Obi-Wan finds out, he panics. I’m talking breathing into a paper bag in a closet for three hours panicking. He does not stop. (That’s his PADAWAN and he doesn’t even RECOGNIZE him!! Has it really been so long? Is he really such a bad person? And Obi-Wan tried to have SEX with him, completely incognizant of any damage he might be doing. How could he do this? How could he hurt Anakin like this.) On the upside, seeing Obi-Wan freak out really lends Anakin some perspective on how unstable the guy is, and makes him feel a LOT better about... everything.

Version Two (Normal Earth)

Anakin is twenty two and just out of college. He’s dating a grad student. This grad student is ginger, is surprisingly ripped under his sweatervests, and has piercing blue eyes and an English accent. (It’s worth noting that in this AU Basic and English aren’t the same language. Anakin is just Like That.) When Obi-Wan shows up, he is immediately protective of his padawan, which he attributes to latent parental instinct. (It is not latent parental instinct, which, pardon me, Obi-Wan didn’t even have in the first place.) Neither he nor Anakin notice the fact that Anakin’s boyfriend is startlingly similar to Obi-Wan. They do, however, bicker about him constantly. While glaring passionately at each other. With full eye contact. While moving closer and closer together. 

Obi-Wan hits his breaking point around the time he sees Anakin meditating shirtless, at which point the lust he’s been suppressing finally overwhelms Obi-Wan’s ability to repress things, which he’s been perfecting for decades. Honestly, it’s almost impressive. Neither of them ever realize that Obi-Wan is apparently Anakin’s type to a T. Anakin’s boyfriend does, and before breaking up with him, he gives Obi-Wan a copy of a summary of Freudian theory. You know, just for fun. (He’s not above a little pettiness, and Obi-Wan quite frankly deserves the breakdown.)

Version Three (DC Earth— Anakin isn’t brothers with Clark Kent)

 Please bear in mind I know next to nothing about DC.

Anakin moves to Gotham after college. Instead of being a normal person, he decides to become a typical masked vigilante— he dresses up as a Jedi and goes around stopping crime like the rest of Gotham’s jamokes. When Bruce Wayne cottons on to the fact that there’s a young traumatized extremely athletic vigilante, he adopts him. Anakin does try to bite him. Bruce is still endeared. 

When Obi-Wan shows up, he has a lot of emotions. First and foremost— “Anakin, are those leather tabards? You know Jedi don’t wear leather, right?” “Shut up.” “I was just—” “No. Shut up.” He is also very... worried when he hears about Batman.

There’s two ways the ensuing conversation with Bruce goes:

1) Obi-Wan believes Bruce really has adopted Anakin, and is there to have a Dad Talk with him— make sure Anakin is doing alright, that he’s eating vegetables, sleeping enough, etc. Bruce, on the other hand, has seen Anakin drooling over Obi-Wan, and has concluded that Obi-Wan and Anakin are fucking (which, fine, whatever, Anakin is an adult), so the conversation for him is a shovel talk.

2) Obi-Wan believes Bruce is Anakin’s sugar daddy. He stalks over to the manor, hair resplendent, lightsaber out, ready for some... negotiations. Bruce believes he’s there for a Dad Talk. The conversation goes sideways immediately.

In both situations, Anakin is horrified, and also mildly turned on because Obi-Wan is clearly so into him. (Obi-Wan has not realized this yet. His brain explodes when he does.)

.

There are more than this, but these are the ones I feel qualified to recount. I don’t know enough about DC to talk about the other ones, but I think in one of them Obi-Wan joins a group of anti-heroes and he and Anakin become nemeses but in a fun way

[varanest]

one thing i’ve left to do, discover me, discovering you

a/n: this is a ‘whoever you want to read it with’ piece i have posted and deleted twice but i decided i will post everything that’s on my drafts so - any feedback is appreciated. 

As soon as they were in their Uber, he was all over her. His hand slipped between her thighs, slowly working his way up. His face was buried in her neck, his tongue and teeth mapping out the column of her throat. She fisted his hair as he assaulted her neck, keeping her lips firmly together so that her moans didn’t reach the ears of their driver while she dragged his hand up to her cunt.

“Impatient little thing… can’t even wait ‘til we’re home to have my hands on that pretty cunt,” he growled into her skin as his fingers traced the damp circle soaking through her panties. The heat rose to her cheeks, though she wasn’t sure if it was from the filthy words dripping off his lips or from the way their driver’s jaw clenched in annoyance. Didn’t really matter which, though. Maia still grinded against his hand while he murmured cheesy praises into her neck.

Once inside his building, Maia barely got a chance to catch her breath. He had her caged between him and the wall during the elevator ride, letting his hands trail over her sides as he pressed his full weight into her. His thumbs reached just below the underwire of her bra when the elevator doors slid open.

She whined quietly as he pulled off her, already missing the feeling of him practically engulfing her. He was taller than her, maybe six feet tall if she were to guess. When she was pressed up against him, she almost felt small. Little. Like a fragile thing surrounded by him.

It was a foreign feeling. She had never really felt small.

And as his large hand engulfed hers as he pulled her toward his apartment, this giddy, warm feeling pooled in her stomach. Just his hand covering hers made her feel little. That feeling only grew as he tugged her into his apartment before pushing her up against his door. “Fucking finally,” he grumbled before his mouth took hers.

As greedy and hard as his lips on her neck had been, his first kiss to her lips was surprisingly gentle. And warm. His entire body was pressed hard against her, squeezing her body tight between him and the door, but his lips remained soft. And the way his tongue dipped into her mouth… she’d call it filthy if it were more urgent, but the slow pace made it feel reverent.

It was so easy to respond to him, to just shut her mind off and only think about reacting to the tongue exploring her mouth and swallowing his quiet grunts. It wasn’t until minutes later when he pulled away and they were both breathless that she realized how urgent it had become. His hand was now fisting her hair, her hands were gripping his collar, and the two of them were gasping for air.

“Bedroom.” She meant for it to come out like a command. After all, Maia was a little bossy in all aspects of her life, but especially when it came to getting laid. But her voice sounded smaller than it usually does, a little breathless and pleading. And it wasn’t without an effect on him, whose lips smirked and eyes darkened as he took a step back. She almost whined at the loss of contact, but he kept both his hands on her as he walked her toward his bedroom.

This time, he had her up a dresser. He flicked the lights on before slamming his lips back onto her neck, this time on the other side… perhaps his way of making sure there was an even distribution of his marks when Maia woke up in the morning.

She tried to get back into it, but she was itching to turn the light back off. Its presence transformed her excitement into fear. Fear of him seeing her naked. Fear that he wouldn’t like what he saw. Fear that every dimple on her thighs and roll on her stomach would repulse him.

Before her thoughts took the dark turn into a full-on body-loathing spiral, she asked, “Could we keep the lights off?”

He blinked several times, his brows furrowed as he processed her question. He was going to ask her why. They always asked why. And then Maia would try to downplay it, but he wouldn’t buy it. And next thing she knows she’s spilling all her body image problems onto a stranger instead of having sex. Fuck, she should have just kept her mouth shut and suffered through having the light on.

After a beat, his face faltered. “Yeah, okay,” he murmured before flicking it back off. Relief should have washed over her once the lights were out. No longer did she have to fear him seeing her naked in a well-lit room. It meant that Maia could fuck him however she wanted without her anxieties about her body ruining it.

But something lurched in her chest at this visible disappointment in his eyes. As he leaned forward to kiss her, she stopped him. “Is that okay?”

“Of course, whatever you want, baby,” he shrugged it off, but Maia stopped him again when he leaned forward. “Okay, I just…”

“You just what?”

“I just wanna see you.” There was no smugness in his voice. No teasing tone that came with all his pick-up lines. No endearment or praise. Just him, with a hint of sadness in his voice, admitting that he wants to see her.

Maia bit down on her lip and stared back at him. The lamppost outside his building illuminated his face in the dark, meaning she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

So, even though her stomach lurched at the thought, she leaned over to flick the light back on, and the change in his demeanor was immediate.

“There you are,” he grinned as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She tilted her head up in time for his lips to glide against hers again, and the contented moan that escaped his throat sent a chill down her body.

He kissed her like he did before, his mouth demanding her full attention. She felt her mind go blank again, only vaguely aware of him tugging off his own jacket. She kicked off her heels next, giggling a bit into his mouth when she realized just how much shorter than him this made her.

She tugged at his shirt next, whining until he helped her get it off. Maia wanted to run her fingers all over the warm, newly exposed skin, but he had other ideas. His fingers worked the zipper of her dress, and Maia felt a familiar panic set in.

Maia tucked her face into his neck, pressing kisses to distract herself from the fact that her dress was about to fall to the ground, exposing every stretch mark to him. “Baby,” he murmured right into her ear. The zipper was completely undone, meaning he was just waiting for Maia to pull her arms out of it and let it fall.

He tilted her chin up with his finger, and Maia locked eyes with him. His were warmer than they had been, not the dark, smug eyes that had watched her for most of the night. She relaxed under his gaze, letting her dress fall to the floor with an easy exhale.

His body snapped back into focus. His hands gripped her waist as he walked her back to his bed. “Fuck, look at you,” he growled right into her ear, his breath hot on her earlobe. “Gorgeous.” She was about to roll her eyes again when the back of her legs hit his mattress. She fell back onto the comforter with a thud. A giggle escaped her lips. There was no way that was hot or graceful.

When she looked up at him, his eyes were raking over her… staring at her uncovered body for the first time. God, she should have kept the lights off. His soft eyes lingered on her chest, which wasn’t surprising. One silver lining for Maia’s weight gain had been the massive breasts that came with it. But when his gaze drifted lower, her arms automatically came up to cover her stomach.

”Maia.” His voice broke on that one syllable. It was low, gravelly, and forlorn. “Will you let me look at you some more?”

She kept her eyes trained on his face as she removed her arms, and there was a small twitch at his lips, curving the corners of his mouth up. His eyes didn’t leave her body as his hands slid up and down her bare thighs. And just when she got her heart rate down again and relaxed into his touch, he whispered one quiet, earnest word that sent a shudder through her entire body.

“Beautiful.”

a/n: who did you picture this with? let me know.

 ✿masterlist.

[random-tinies]

Sea and Sky and Stupid Decisions

hi there! bio anon here, wanted to post a thing i made in the mcyt g/t discord here. it was initially just a little prompt but it ended up spiraling out of control ;P this is about 1 parts noms story to 3 parts legend myth, because i haven’t any idea how to write noms without plot ;P

(thanks again for letting me submit this to you!!)

content warnings for: soft vore, fearplay, major injury (not delved into at all), blood (also not delved into much)

The sea is vast and unforgiving. It holds no master, it does not bargain or hold grudges, it simply takes and gifts as it pleases, a bringer of life and freedom and of death and deep crushing depths all at once. It is unknowable to mortal minds.

It can also, on occasion, be extremely stupid in its decision making.

The sea god, in the form of a vast whale shark, had been gliding through his domain with a peaceful certainty of his power. The sun beat down upon his vast spotted back, glittering the stripes of gold and emerald that signified his divinity along his fins. The vast open ocean was where he was most powerful, most tricky to deal with. Along the calmer coral reefs and kelp forests and shallow shores of his domain there was the certainty of land beneath you, even if it was buried under the ocean tides. In the open ocean you were a puppet to the playing tides, the world went on endlessly beneath and above you, and if you were in danger there was nothing you could do but plead to the ocean for a mercy that he never felt too inclined to give. 

The sea god had been making his way, with the endless patience of the filter feeder he was taking the form of, towards a tiny wooden boat bobbing like a toy atop his ocean. It was always fun to snap up a couple of mortals from their refuges at the surface, to remind them that their fear of the sea is not unfounded. It was a little surprising though that there was one all of the way out here - the main village trade routes generally kept to the shorelines in fear of his capricious nature. This mortal was either very brave or very lost.

It didn’t matter. The sea god swam languidly towards the tiny toy contraption, and however many creatures were inside of it.

He shifted into a sea serpent’s shape as he got closer, allowing the mortal the dubious honor of seeing its own doom approaching in the form of almost a kilometer long stretch of scales and fins, far more vast than even the greatest of the sea god’s creatures.

The psychic scent of a mortal in a deep panic, of a fearful and desperate prayer being sent out, made him grin. Then the sea god surfaced in a blast of surf and, in one bite, entrapped the boat and crushed the wooden frame like it was little more than a splinter. The sea god sank below the waves that were pushed up by his arrival, descending into the depths to play with this mortal.

The first thing he did was shrink down from his vast form into something a little more manageable. The scent of fear and terror and faster prayers (too late little mortal. You are in my domain now) made him decide on something that would tease even more terror from it. He chose an enormous shark, one with rows and rows of teeth that oh-so-carefully shredded the boat further, releasing the mortal from it and spitting out the remains of the pathetic ship. 

It flailed in his mouth, and he could feel the texture of feathers and wings. Perhaps the mortal had been bringing birds with it. Feathery little ground-fowl that were so beneath him he could hardly feel their presence. He amused himself in the mortal’s pathetic struggles for a moment longer, before opening his mouth and gulping in an enormous swallow of sea water that washed the mortal down into his gullet. It continued to struggle all the while, and he was starting to really like it’s fear. Just the tiniest hint of useless hope in the center of it to make it persist even when the mortal was all but dead. 

He swam for a long while in the indigo blue deep sea, indulging in the feeling of struggle and burning land-based life in the middle of his domain. But… hm, he could go more with this. The mortal had remained remarkably resilient and active in its useless hope, and he wanted to see if he couldn’t tease out any more reactions from it before it eventually perished.

He started slowly, shrinking from the enormous shark into a massive tuna fish with scales lined in emerald, and felt with it the movements of the mortal get arrested in his stomach. The once large space it had been flailing in had decreased dramatically, and he could tell it was nervous about that. 

Then he shrank further, into an oarfish with trailing fins of gold glitter. Its long snake-like body compressed the mortal further, and it had started struggling again for a different reason than before. The sea god whipped around joyously at the feeling, spurring from his erratic movements another wave of fear. 

Finally, the sea god shrank further still into the form of an elder guardian, its spiny scales shivering and clicking as the size of the mortal within him pushed out against the organs that crowded close around it. He lazily made his way back to the surface, the warm sun once again comforting on his back. He was done with this mortal, and the way it curled up tight within him was satisfying enough that he desired nothing more from it. Soon he would let it die, or descend further into the depths and allow the ocean to crush it more thoroughly than any animal’s stomach could. 

It was there, lying at the surface of the open ocean, shivering alabaster scales as the mortal seemingly never ran out of energy to push on the god around it, that the sea god was interrupted. 

And lo, the sky ripped asunder and the heavens fell and in their wake the Goddess of the Continuation After stepped upon the ocean god’s calm sea, shepherded not by her faithful acolyte.

And She said unto the ocean god -

“Release him from your grasp, he is not yours to take.”

And the ocean god smiled and transformed into an enormous dragonfish, and spoke to Her on the sea breeze.

“Deaths at sea are my domain, dear sister goddess. I do not tell you who not to take on land or sky, you should not insult me to insist you take from my oceans too.”

And She said in return, “that is my messenger and lover, my Angel who harkens my power. I demand his safe return to me.”

And the ocean god said - “wait shit really?”

If he weren’t so caught up in playing with the mortal in such a way, the sea god supposed he would have realized that the feathers that had tickled his mouth had continued to persist, pressed up against a wall of his stomach. Not a simple ground bird’s plumage, but a vast creature’s wingspan. Wings fit for an angel. 

It (he? The god supposed he would need to no longer think of it as a simple mortal) had renewed its struggles with more vigor than even before, hearing its Lady’s voice. 

Despite the sea god’s surprise and Her demands, he felt anger build in him. The angel had been foolish enough to travel his seas, he should accept the risks that are brought with it. She had allowed her attendant worshipper to leave Her all-seeing sight - clearly She didn’t care about it that much. Gods can be territorial over what they own, and clearly this was just a case of the sea god taking a toy that She decided She still wanted.

And so, in his infinite wisdom, the sea god bared jagged glass teeth at the Goddess of What Comes After and refused to relinquish the angel to Her. 

“I am fond of Your angel now. He has travelled with me to the depths of the ocean, and witnessed my power and myriad of beautiful creatures. I think I would like to keep him, dear sister.”

The Goddess raised Her wings of ebony and jet, and scavenging carrion birds that did not belong in the domain of the open ocean fled from Her and trailed into the sky.  She said to the sea god - 

“Do not become a fool, brother god. You will let my Angel go, or I may tear him from your gut. I will scatter your blood to all of the oceans of the world, and let your own creations feast upon you as you have feasted upon what is Mine.”

The sea god dropped his guise of the beasts of the sea, and in the form of a man wrought in gold and emerald he rose from the waters to stand before the Lady of the Lost. The two mighty gods clashed, tearing the sea and sky with their battle as the Goddess seeked to take back what was Her’s and the sea god desired to keep what he had claimed.

Their struggle only ended when the Angel, fearful and hurt by the pain his Lady had received in the fight and the harm that had come to himself from within the sea god, cried out. The Goddess of the Unforgiving Conclusion drew up a vast sword of midnight and tore the sea god open from the back.

From the god’s divine blood, the Angel emerged unharmed from his Goddess’ attack, and fled from the grasp of the wounded sea god into the great swarm of carrion birds that circled above.

The Goddess cast the sea god into the dark depths of the ocean, and wiped her sword of deep black clean. Where the droplets of divine blood hit the earth, all over the world, lay the tiniest portion of the sea god’s power in totems of gold and emerald. Where it hit the sea great pyramids of prismarine grew around it to celebrate its power. Now with his power broken into a thousand pieces, the sea god fled into the depths of the ocean, and he knew himself to be foolish for having tried to fight Her.

He never was quite the same from that day forward. The sea, his domain, was never fully his anymore. The wound along his back, struck to slice his gut open and release the mortal, never truly healed and even in the many shapes of the creatures of the sea it was still visible as a deep black scar. 

In penitence for his childish stupidity he stepped up onto the shores that he had so despised for so long and, in the form of both a shark and a man, he tried to learn about the mortals that lived outside of his open ocean waters for the first time. 

He had been foolish, and as such he didn’t deserve to rule the seas he had before. Perhaps though, one day, he can regain this title. Perhaps he could be reborn into this role, if the Lady so permits.

If the Angel forgives him, he may find his way back to the sea again.

.

.

.

AAAAAAAAAAAA *stimming on my desk* THIS IS SO COOL???? BIO, THIS IS AWESOME OIHUGYUFT I’M HONORED TO POST IT HERE 🤩 HOW?? DO YOU WRITE SUCH MASTERPIECES???? THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING ORIGIN MYTH FOR TOTEMS AND OCEAN MONUMENTS AND FOOLISH!!! I will be thinking about this for days. Incredible uwu Thank you so much for blessing us all ohuigyuty GAh THIS MAKES ME HAPPY!!

[yourdeepestfathoms]

song of storms

Texas decided to flash flood, so my school went into its severe weather drill yesterday. we sat in the hallways in darkness while some kid played his guitar and sang for us. it got me inspired, so here’s some hurt/comfort!

—————————

In Romania, it sure did rain.

A storm so powerful it seemed to have some kind of vendetta against Castle Dimitrescu had blown in around the early afternoon, and by the time dinner was almost ready to be served, the brisk rainfall had warped into a mini hurricane. Raindrops fell like silver bullets and thunder cracked repeatedly, lightning tearing through the sky with white fangs, splitting the horizon in two. Water splattered across the windows like sprays of blood, and Alcina went around making sure they were all secure against the howling wind, seeing as the maids were too useless to do so.

While checking the glass and locks in the western wing, a massive boom shook the entire castle, making even Alcina feel small in comparison. Pulling the drapes shut firmly, there was a second crash of thunder, but this time, she heard something inside of it.

A whimper.

Alcina turned. The room closest to her was the library. It had to have come from in there.

Creeping inside, Alcina first checked the windows, making sure there were no leaks, then looked for the culprit of the cry. It wasn’t very hard when the sky roared like a vicious beast and caused its victim to sob from behind a bookshelf. Peeking around the polished wood, she found the sufferer.

It was her eldest daughter, curled into the fetal position, her knees to her chest, hands clamped over her ears, shaking all over. She flinched when a burst of thunder seemed to shake the entire castle, threatening to bring the ceiling down on top of them, and then let out a choked whimper, digging her claws into her scalp in a vain effort to block out the noise.

“Bela?”

Bela’s head snapped up, and Alcina watched as shame crept into her expression.

“M-Mother--” she stammered. “I-- I--”

Alcina walked over and crouched down next to her. She set a hand on Bela’s shoulder, feeling her shudder beneath her touch. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, Mother,” Bela said, despite her obvious panic attack. “Of course.”

Alcina narrowed her eyes. “Bela, what have I told you about lying to be about your health?”

Bela lowered her head. “I shouldn’t do it…”

“Right. Now, I will ask you again: are you alright?”

Bela shifted, sniffling. “I’m-- I’m just a little freaked out, that’s all. But-- but I’m okay. It isn’t that bad.”

And then, like it was trying to be helpful, thunder crashed, and Bela jolted right into Alcina’s arms with a yelp, practically vibrating with fear. She clung to Alcina’s gown with her claws, her eyes wide and bulging.

“Isn’t that bad, huh?” Alcina said.

“It-- it just startled me!” Bela blustered. She was adamant about saving face, it seemed.

“Uh-huh,” Alcina set a hand on her back, rubbing up and down her spine slowly. “Bela, I thought you said you weren’t scared of storms anymore? Were you lying just to look strong for your younger sisters?” She squinted. “Or did they shame you again? I’ve told those girls that all fears are valid, no matter how irrational--”

“N-no!” Bela cried, clenching fabric between desperate claws. “No! Don’t get mad at them, please! It-- it wasn’t them!”

Alcina looked at her curiously, one eyebrow raised.

Bela lowered her head. “I-- I’m not afraid of storms. Rainstorms, I mean. But the thunder…” She cast a dismayed look at the nearby window and jumped when lightning torched the sky. She huddled closer. “It’s just so loud. And dangerous! What if-- what if there’s a tornado?!”

Alcina bit back a laugh. Her eldest child had the wildest imagination.

“Don’t be silly,” she said. “Romania doesn’t get tornadoes.”

“It has before!” Bela said, steadfast on her opinion. “And FLOODS! Oh, Mother, what if it floods? What if the castle floods?! Where will we live?! What if-- what if--”

Sensing Bela’s growing panic, Alcina cupped her cheeks and made her look at her. “Breathe, darling. Breathe. You’re starting to spiral.”

“But-- but--”

“Breathe. Here, follow me,” she then inhaled deeply. “Come on, my love. Just like me. In…” She demonstrated again.

Bela shakily inhaled.

“And out…” She exemplified.

Bela shakily exhaled.

They repeated this process three more times before Bela was calmer, though she wouldn’t stop glancing out the window. The rain had gotten so bad that the trees outside weren’t even visible through the pelting sheets of rain. The lightning, however, still made itself known, slashing right through the water walls like the talons of a monster.

“It’s so bad out there,” Bela murmured, her eyes becoming distant as she started wrapping herself up in her own fear again.

“Ah, ah,” Alcina redirected her gaze over to her. “Don’t look at that, darling. Look at me.”

Bela swallowed thickly and obeyed. Her claws dug into Alcina’s arms. “Mother,” she whispered hoarsely. “I’m-- I’m scared.”

Alcina frowned, though she was proud of Bela for openly admitting such a thing. She pulled her in close.

“It’s alright, my darling,” Alcina murmured. “It’s alright. Nothing is going to get you. It’s just a noise.”

“I-I know, but--”

Thunder cracked, and Bela buried her face against Alcina’s chest. Her shaking worsened.

“I hate it, I hate it,” Bela wept.

Alcina moved her hands over Bela’s ears, holding them firmly, hoping to block out the sound for her precious daughter. How could she forget that Bela didn’t like loud noises? Of course this would be like hell for her.

“Shh, shh,” Alcina rocked Bela back and forth in her lap. A faint rumble rippled through the house and she glared at the window, cursing the storm for causing her baby so much distress. “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay…”

She spent five more minutes on the floor before Bela finally pulled her head back. She didn’t look any less terrified, nor had the storm lessened its brutality, but there was a new light in her eyes. Alcina already knew what she was doing.

“Bela, don’t--”

“I’m sorry, Mother,” Bela said anyway, dipping her head for a moment. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Don’t even pretend, child,” Alcina scolded. “You’re still as white as a ghost. And these shivers… You’re shaking like a newborn goat!”

Bela shook her head. “I’ll be fine. You said it yourself, didn’t you?”

Alcina wrinkled her nose, then sighed. “Alright then. Shall we both go down to the parlor, then? I should check on your sisters.”

Guilt flitted through Bela’s eyes. “Yes. Of course. We must make sure that they aren’t scared.”

That got a small chuckle out of Alcina. “Sure.”

They both stood up, with Alcina helping Bela on her unsteady legs. While walking down the hallway to get to the main parlor, both mother and daughter couldn’t help but gaze out the windows.

The sky was the color of the ocean- dark, wild, and swallowing everything in its wake. The only thing that could possibly rival its impenetrable wall of thick black-blue were the constant cracks of blazing lightning that split the roiling clouds like a hot knife. The storm would be cut in half at the flash of its searing glory, then sewed itself back together like a monstrous, watery wound. The wind was so fierce that it seemed to be sent by an enraged being to punish the castle for some unruly sin. Water rushed down the pathways that Alcina could just barely make out in the garden like baby rivers, threatening to drag anything and anyone in its way down the dirt with it. Raindrops battered the glass and walls and doors, knocking so viciously like an unwanted guest.

An unwanted guest. That was what this damn storm was. And Alcina was at her wit’s end with this elemental stranger.

Especially when one particular crash of thunder knocked the power right out.

Now, a good portion of Castle Dimitrescu used natural lighting to ward away the darkness, sunlight and torches and whatnot, but there were also light fixtures and lamps, which were cut into complete blackness by the outage.

Shadows swept around the corridor like curtains, chased off only by a few flickering torches. At Alcina’s side, there was a sharp cry of terror that pulled at her heart with talons, and she turned to see Bela pressed against the wall, trembling and breathing heavily, her eyes practically bulging right out of her skull.

“Oh, honey,” Alcina said sadly. She reached out, tenderly cupping her daughter’s cheeks. Bela was aware enough to press into her touch like she usually did, which was good. She was too far gone in her panic just yet. “Shh, shh… It’s okay.”

“Th-the lights--” Bela gasped. Her hands were pressed flat against the wall behind her, claws dug against the plaster. She wouldn’t look at Alcina, instead peering around her figure to the storm outside. “It’s-- it’s--”

“Breathe, Bela,” Alcina instructed, seeing her spiral again. It was worrying just how quickly it could happen, coming out of nowhere and consuming her like a colony of angry fire ants. “Breathe. In and out. Just like I taught you.”

“M-Mother--”

“Shh, shh,” Alcina stroked Bela’s cheeks with her thumbs. She moved closer, trying to block out the view of the windows with her form. “Don’t look at that. Look at me. I’m right here and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Bela whimpered and looked up at her. Hot tears slid against Alcina’s fingers and she brushed them away. She smiled when she heard the shallow sound of her daughter’s rhythmic breathing.

“Good girl,” Alcina cooed. “Good, good girl. Just like that.”

Bela closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Alcina’s smile grew a little wider.

“You’re doing so well,” Alcina praised her, knowing it would help her work harder to calm down. Bela was always the easiest to manage out of all of her children, as all it took was a few words of approval for her to do just about anything she wanted. “Such a good job, even when you’re--”

“I’m not--”

“I know, baby,” Alcina said, humoring her. She moved one hand to stroke Bela’s hair. “You’re not scared. Of course you aren’t. I was going to say when you’re in the middle of a blackout.”

Bela opened one eye to stare at her incredulously. Alcina grinned at her. Bela huffed, closed her eye, and then nuzzled into her hand with a faint purr.

They stayed like that for a little longer before Bela finally extracted herself from the wall. The color had yet to return to her face, nor had she stopped shaking, but at least her breathing was back under control.

“Ready?” Alcina asked.

Bela nodded quietly.

With one hand on her daughter’s back, Alcina continued down the hallway with Bela.

Upon entering her favorite parlor, Alcina found her other two daughters already inside. Cassandra was stretched out in front of the fireplace like a lounging cat, her head pillowed by her arms and a look of bliss on her face, while Daniela was bouncing by the window, watching the storm eagerly. The youngest had always been fascinated by the sheer destruction of weather.

“Thirty-four!” Daniela shouted when lightning flashed across the sky.

“That’s great, Dani,” Cassandra said dreamily without lifting her head or even opening her eyes.

“What are you two doing?” Alcina asked in amusement while ducking inside.

“Counting lightning bolts,” Daniela answered.

“Relaxing,” Cassandra said a moment later. “Isn’t this weather amazing?”

Bela winced.

“It certainly is something,” Alcina said, glancing out the window. She gave Bela’s back a gentle rub before walking over to her chair and sitting down. Daniela instantly skittered over to her and pressed her head right into the space between her neck and shoulder with a bright smile. Alcina chuckled, stroking her cheek, earning her blissful purrs.

“Where were you, Bel?” Cassandra asked, rolling over to look at Bela, but not quite getting up. She seemed much too relaxed.

“I-I, umm--”

“She was helping me close the windows,” Alcina answered for her eldest. “After I had to berate her for reading in the dark again.” She gave Bela a playful glare, making Bela smile faintly.

“Ooooh,” Daniela giggled. “You got in troubleeeee!”

Bela rolled her eyes. She finally moved from her rigid position by the door to sit on the floor next to Alcina’s chair. Alcina reached down to set a comforting hand on her head.

It was then that thunder ripped through the castle, causing all of the walls to shudder, and each of Alcina’s girls jolted. Daniela and Cassandra’s heads popped up, while Bela sank her claws in the cracks between the floorboards, trying to keep her breathing under control.

“Goddamn,” Cassandra muttered, sitting up straight. She stretched out the sore spots in her back. “We’re going to drown at this rate.”

Bela’s shoulders lurched. Alcina gave Cassandra a stern glare.

“Oooh, you know what we should do?” Daniela said. She didn’t wait for an answer. “Beli should sing to us!”

“What?” Bela snapped her head to her younger sister faster than the lightning could strike outside.

“Ohh, yeah,” Cassandra nodded.

“What are you talking about?”

Daniela gave her a look. “Don’t be dumb! We all know you like to sing!”

“No, I don’t,” Bela stammered, the tips of her ears turning red.

“Yes, you do,” Cassandra said. “We hear you sing when you fill up the bathtub.”

“You can hear me?!” Bela shrieked.

“Yeah!” Daniela said. “When you hit that vibrato last night… Incredible! Amazing! Showstopping!”

“You did sound very nice,” Alcina nodded.

“MOTHER!!”

Bela buried her face in her hands, which had gone completely red with embarrassment. Alcina chuckled and scratched her scalp.

“You have a wonderful voice, darling,” Alcina said.

“Yeah!” Daniela agreed. “Much better than Cassie. She sounds like a crow with a chicken bone stuck in its throat!”

“At least I don’t belt at the same octave as the torture victims,” Cassandra struck back, and she and Daniela both burst into laughter.

“Now, now, girls,” Alcina said.

“Oh, come on, Mother,” Cassandra said. “Daniela knows I’m just kidding. The victims sound better than she does, and they’re not even trying to sing!”

Daniela shrieked with more laughter. She didn’t seem offended at all. “Oh, I sound bad? You know the noises a donkey makes?”

Cassandra slapped the ground while snorting into her hand.

Alcina rolled her eyes in a good-natured way, then smiled down at Bela. “You would be a step above whatever they can do. But only if you want to.”

Bela looked up at her, her amber-gold eyes glinting in the firelight, then nodded. After a moment of silently encouraging herself, she took a deep breath and began to sing.

It was a beautiful melody in the howling of the storm.