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There was this guy in the 1800s - I can't remember his name, but his name is recorded somewhere - who honestly argued that if given the choice between a beautiful woman and a heron, deep down in their most earnest true heart, every man would rather fuck the heron. And he got mad when people denied this, continuing to deny this what he had decided must be an universal truth, instead of praising him for being the only one who was brave enough to finally say it out loud. Like he really thought that every single person telling him "Jesse what the hell are you talking about" was not only denying him, but denying themselves their true desires and perpetuating the apparently massive cultural lie that herons aren't fuckable.

Anyway what I'm saying here is that every once in a while whenever you find yourself in a situation where nobody else is willing to agree with something that you consider the most obvious truth, take a moment to meditate on the possibility that perhaps they do mean what they say, and perhaps they are right. Maybe nobody else but you wants to fuck the heron.

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today's warm up: Shooting stars, worse than wolves and even hungrier (1:30hr)

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two year anniversary of my vocabulary being permanently changed for the worse

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“Why are you here?” Ben asks.

Leia feels halfway to hurt, all of a sudden. You called me, she almost says, but that’s not true, even if it’s a little bit the truth. He was just calling, and she answered. She’s old enough to know that at least.

Part 2 of Another Strand

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Today my professor picked up a garter snake, said “Ow!” five times as it bit him, set it back down, and said, “Okay. That’s one defense mechanism snakes have.”

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happy star wars day to everyone who heard binary sunset as a child and never recovered

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"every possible kind of content can be found on the internet" yeah sure except for the One fucking thing I'm looking for. why does no one want to talk about the One Singular thing I'm looking for. but yeah other than that everything is on here.

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Funniest timeline would be Misha Collins realising he is in fact bisexual and having to deal with the fact he can’t really do this whole coming out thing again because nobody will believe him

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do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

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Never posting my fanfiction. Call that AO2.

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Shout out to the USA for pissing Canadians off so bad it flipped an entire election that was supposed to be a landslide for the center-right, forever in your debt o7

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it's spring, the signified is out and the signifier is in.

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"he tastes like you only sweeter" is an insane thing to say dawg that song used to play on the radio

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Kozacha Hora. The Outskirts of Zmiiv. Kharkivshchyna by Serhii Vasylkivskyi, 1900

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joe biden should make it a law so that any time i fall asleep on the couch at night 400 cops have to come to my house and gently move me to my bed without waking me and then they all fall into a machine under the floor that grinds them up and converts them into a new kind of special gel that can be fed to elderly horses to make them sick

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She let me hit it because I solved her riddles three