#and there is only one bed

[capn-james-t-spirk]

ToTK: casually places Zelda’s diary in Link’s home from BoTW

Me:

[evilasiangenius]

When Crowley woke, the air tasted savory-crisp to his snakey tongue and it took him a moment to recognize the scent of fresh bread baking in the hearth.

���Aziraphale?” Crowley sat up on the bed.

“My apologies for being a poor host,” Aziraphale said from across the room where it seemed that he was poking about in the hot ashes with a fire-blackened stick. “I have no cheese or butter, and very little oil. Trade isn’t what it was these days. I think this city is on the verge of failure.”

“Verge?” Crowley’s mouth twisted in a squiggle of sadness. “I’d say from what I saw it’s quite beyond that verge. Why are you here at all? There are hardly any humans at all in this city anymore. We’re usually posted in more populated places.”

“You know I can’t tell you that,” Aziraphale said primly, as he pulled a big piping hot flatbread off the hearthstone still gray with ashes with his fingers and set it upon a terracotta plate. “You should eat this. The oil’s over there.”

“Do you want me to get anything? I could make us some–”

“No,” Aziraphale said decisively. “Frivolous miracle usage will get both of us in trouble, it’s best to make do with what we have at hand.”

Crowley blinked; whatever happened Upstairs must have been extremely serious for Aziraphale to talk like this. The angel had never been one to be particular about the finer points of miracle expenditure and economy. He glanced at Aziraphale, but the angel’s expression gave nothing away.

“Sounds like a change in policy?”

But Aziraphale did not answer him.

“It’s all right, angel,” Crowley said, choosing his words carefully. “No one is doing any accounting like that at Head Office, no one really tracks these things Downstairs. And besides, I have a little extra in reserve…well, a lot more than a little extra. He’d never mind what I was using it for, and even if he knew you were involved he’d probably think it was funny and would only want to know what I had made for you–”

“No. Please. You’re my guest, please just let me do this.” Aziraphale’s face was tense and unhappy and Crowley wondered where this tension had come from.

“Fine,” Crowley shrugged.

Thinking better of it, Aziraphale reached out for the jar of oil himself and poured a healthy drizzle of golden olive oil onto the bread, handing the plate up to Crowley.

“Oh,” Crowley said softly, realizing that little white wild garlic flowers floated in the oil and he wondered how Aziraphale must have gotten it so late in the season until he realized that the flowers had been preserved in the oil, probably since at least spring. “Are you not going to have some yourself?”

“No. I ate already.” But the angel eyed the bread with no small amount of longing.

“Here, it’s too much. I won’t be able to finish this.” Crowley tore the bread in two, and handed Aziraphale the larger half.

“I really shouldn’t,” the angel murmured, but his hands trembled as he took the bread.

more

[aspenispoplar]

I think Team Fortress 2 is mutuals with Tumblr now that both Overwatch and Twitter have been piloted into the dirt.

They both have that "Luigi wins by doing nothing" vibe

[fandomsandfeminism]

Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?

Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.

All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)

But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.

But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.

I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?

It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.

Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.

Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)

[dokani]

decided i’m gonna get this printed as a poster and just hang it above my bed so each morning i can wake up feeling like a victim of medical malpractice

[bisexualpercyjacksons]

pjo tv show episode 5 alignment:

[circuscountdowns]

many centuries down the line they can manage to have a civil enough family game night.

[keferon]

I love when they do the funny acrobatics for whatever plot reasons👌

[creativepromptsforwriting]

only one bed

morning after dialogue

"Please, don't make this awkward."

"Did you know that you snore quite a lot?"

"We don't have to talk about it."

"You stole my blanket and fought me for it."

"I need to use the bathroom, could you let me go please?"

"See? That was alright, wasn't it?"

"Never thought you would be a cuddler."

"You're seriously like an octopus."

"How did you sleep? I slept surprisingly well."

"I can't feel my arm anymore, you were laying on it all night."

"You are like a furnace, I felt like I needed to get my clothes off."

"Has anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep?"

"I couldn't leave, you were lying basically on top of me."

"When did you decide that I was the pillow?"

"Can we delay getting up for a few minutes more, please?"

More: bed sharing scenarios + only one bed dialogue

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[astosangels]

i want a dog bed that’s big enough to sleep in because god can you imagine how nice it’d be? laying in your little bed that’s meant for pups like you, then your owner coming over and fucking you dumb in your own bed, making you really feel like a mutt. just being in the bed itself making you fall deeper into that headspace, only being able to whine and bark and whimper as you get ruthlessly fucked. even better if you get to fall asleep in the bed afterwards, dozing off while surrounded by reminders of what a good pup you just were for your owner… ugh

[my-castles-crumbling]

motel - November 3rd - jegulus - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 248

"There's nothing else?" Sirius asked the harried-looking person at the front desk, his voice a bit desperate but not rude.

"Sorry sir," she frowned. "Two rooms on opposite sides of the building, each with a king bed. That's all we have."

James, Sirius, Remus, and Regulus all stared outside from the snow storm raging to their very ill-equipped car.

"Alright," Sirius sighed. "We'll take them. I'll share with Reg and James and Moons can share."

"That's stupid," Regulus piped up, rolling his eyes. "Share a bed with your boyfriend, Sirius. James and I can deal with each other for one night."

Frowning, Sirius looked between James and Regulus, as if trying to see if they could actually last twenty four hours without killing each other.

"I promise I won't severely injure him," Regulus added, sending Sirius an annoyed look. James just chuckled uncomfortably. "We can get along for a night, can't we, James?"

"Yeah," James shrugged, grimacing a bit.

After a moment, Sirius seemed to give in. "Fine. But remember the roads are out, so no there are ambulances if you stab each other."

It wasn't until ten minutes later when they entered their room that Regulus and James turned to each other. James, beaming ear to ear, pressed Regulus against the door and immediately began kissing down his neck. "Think we can get along for the night, Reg?" he whispered in his ear, his breath making him shiver.

"I think so," Regulus smirked, pulling their lips together.

[heartorbit]

figure skating set right now please. thanks

[wattemeer]

IDK I'm obsessed with snake Luci sobs

[a-fangirltrash]

Do u guys think that Fiddleford sometimes accidentaly called Stanford darling, sweetheart and love because he kept mistaking him with his wife hahahah.... and that he was so sleep deprived once that this happened....

Yeah this is canon in my head like this would totally happen, he's not beating the cheating allegations

[scealaiscoite]

reasons for there to be only one bed ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍊 ꒱

¹⁾ they’re undercover as a married couple, and as such need to act like one

²⁾ there’s technically two beds available, but it’s freezing cold and everybody knows body heat works best

³⁾ it’s a camping trip, and one character’s forgotten their sleeping bag

⁴⁾ a character goes to their friend’s house after an emotional upheaval in search of comfort, and ends up staying the night - but refuses to kick the homeowner out of their own bed, resulting in the two of them sharing it

⁵⁾ in a roommate scenario, one character’s bedroom has been rendered unusable - and with the couch being unsustainable in the long run, they proffer sharing the one remaining bed as a solution

⁶⁾ there are two beds, but only one blanket

⁷⁾ a character’s taken ill, and the other party worries too much to leave them alone for even a minute

⁸⁾ in a fit of anger after a mission gone wrong, both characters sleep in the only available bed because no one was chivalrous to offer to take the floor

⁹⁾ a character’s had a nightmare, and needs company to feel safe enough to go back to sleep

¹⁰⁾ the weather takes a tumultuous turn, meaning a late night hangout has to turn into a sleepover when a character gets stranded there for the night

¹¹⁾ it’s a late night at work and when they both grow too tired to continue on, the only option is the lone office couch

¹²⁾ a threat’s been made against one/all character(s) involved, and so under the guise of safety in numbers it’s deemed safest if they stay together - everywhere

¹³⁾ one character joins the other for a late-night conversation, and ends up getting comfortable in their bed next to them - evidently too comfortable, as the char in bed falls asleep on the visitor and effectively traps them there

¹⁴⁾ there’s no bed in the shoddy refuge they’ve found after things went sideways, so when it comes time to sleep the only real choice is to stay close together

and, of course,

¹⁵⁾ it’s the last room available at the hotel after a long trip

[silvrrsun]

Why is nobody talking about how small the decontamination chamber is for Ford and Fiddleford’s bunker??

(Text written out below)

Ford: “A little cramped isn’t it?”

Fiddleford: “Ah!… I’ll fix it soon…”