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thatuselesshuman · 30 days ago

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Caspers Guide to Social Events

(Specifically events where you don't really know anyone so you have to smile and make small talk)

Whether it be a baby shower, a wedding, or just some random ass get together, we've all been in that situation where you have no clue who anyone is except for the person that invited you but you're expected to not implode. No one likes it, but we all have to laugh and pretend we're not watching the clock, hoping enough time will pass that it's socially acceptable to leave.

You may be thinking that you're just resigned to this fate forever, cursed to make small talk you never really understood in the first place because you're autistic, but fear not! This very guide is here to help

Hopefully this makes those events at least go by faster, if not bearable

Without further adieu...

Step One: Dress for the Occasion

Most events you go to will have a dress code of some sort. If you're not sure what it is, ask whoever invited you. Usually, it'll be one of a few options: casual, Sunday/church wear, business casual, semi-formal, and formal. We'll go through each of these below.

Casual: This is exactly as it says, casual. Wear what you feel most comfortable in. Don't wear anything too dumpy though, like pj's or stained jeans. This one is very dependent on your personal style, so I'd say a good rule is to pick something you'd go to a nice restaurant in.

Sunday/church wear: Nicer clothing. A safe bet would be khakis and a polo for guys, and a sundress for girls. If you go to church, this one is pretty easy, as you literally would just wear what you'd wear to church.

Business casual: This one is the toughest in my opinion. I'd say a nice blouse and pants is a good approximation, but this one is where I'd ask my friend what they were wearing.

Semi-formal: Dress shirt and pants for guys, nice cocktail dresses for women. Don't wear anything too revealing or flashy.

Formal: Suit and tie for men, ankle/calf-length dresses for women. Nothing too poofy, but it's fine to have a bit of flare. Just once again, nothing revealing or too flashy. Showing your shoulders is fine, but I'd say limit your cleavage and no super high slits.

Step Two: Brainstorm Talking Points

Life is much easier when you have talking points. If you go in with a plan of attack, you won't be put on the spot so often. Below are some common events and usual conversation topics.

Wedding: The couple getting married, relation to the couple, basically just anything about the person getting married

Baby Shower: Baby name, relation to couple/mother, how cute the baby is going to be, if you're going to be an aunt/uncle/etc how excited you are

Work Get Together: Current project, your position, basically anything about work

Generally Good Topics: "cute outfit, where'd you get it", "The weather has been good/bad", "The food is delicious", "how are you"

Step Three: Getting to the Event

A good rule is the five minute rule. Either be 5 minutes early, on time, or 5 minutes late. For something like a wedding, on time or 5 minutes early is great. For a Baby Shower, on time or 5 minutes late is good. For a Work Get Together, 5 minutes late is acceptable. Basically, if it's formal be on time, if it's more casual you have some leeway.

Step Four: Have a Drink in Your Hand

This one may seem silly, but there's logic behind it. Having a drink in your hand makes you look less awkward, gives you something to do with your hands, and gives you an excuse not to talk to people. It doesn't have to be alcoholic (it's probably better if it's not tbh), I've done this with water. What matters is that you can take sips of it which gives you something to do. It also has the added bonus of helping you blend into the crowd as just another face.

Step Five: All Things Small Talk

The dreaded small talk. No one likes it, we all do it. Fear not, however, as I will personally walk you through some common small talk and explain it in a way even me, an autistic individual, would understand.

"How are you?": Unless you're really close, they aren't asking you how you're really doing. If you're doing great say great, if you're doing okay say good, if you're barely surviving say fine/okay. Once you answer, it's courteous to say "How about you?" back. Keep the conversation light.

"The weather is good/bad": Basically just talk about the weather. If it's decent, then say that. If you like cold weather better, say something like "It is pretty nice, but I personally would prefer if it cooled off a bit more. I'm not built for warm temperatures". If you like it warmer, say the inverse of the sentence above. Keep the conversation light.

"Cute outfit": Say thank you then find something about their outfit to compliment. If you can't find anything specific, you can just say "thanks! Your outfit is cute as well!"

"Cute outfit, where'd you get it?": Don't go through the list of where you got everything. Pick one or two of the biggest components and tell them that. "Oh I got this dress from target" "Oh I got this shirt from Anne Taylor". If they ask further, that's when you can add more details.

"How is school/work?": a joke or something would work wonderfully here. "Oh y'know how it is, I'm chugging along" "I'm surviving" "it's been alright" are all also good options. Once again, keep the conversation light.

Step Six: Leaving

Our favorite part, am I right? Now, to leave tactfully, there's some rules that'll make leaving seem alright. If one of the following occurrences is true, you are free to leave

Over half of the event has passed

Someone has already left

It's past 10 pm (assuming the event didn't start at 10 or later)

A lull in the event occurs (switching between areas, etc)

You have already informed people that you can't stay long

"Oh I have to get [person] home"

"I have a test to study for/a project to complete/something to do early tomorrow"

"I have [different event] to get to"

Any of the above accompanied by enough goodbyes and apologies (usually a "sorry i couldn't stay longer") will be seen as perfectly acceptable in most applications.

Now, that should be all you need to get through any social event life throws your way. Get out there and suck at small talk slightly less than before!

(If you have any extra questions I'm happy to answer them)

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bells-of-black-sunday · 2 months ago

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𝑺𝒑𝒖𝒌'𝒔 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒔

Comfort food(s): Poptarts, hearty soups, seafood, bread. Probably the entirety of "Hometown Buffet" it was a place in town I'd always go to with my Grandparents after church on Sunday even though modernly I don't care for buffet places.

Comfort drink(s): Earl grey tea, green tea, strawberry Boba tea. The boba is because me and my friends always get it every time we hang out in person and it's always a nice time even if it's getting rarer.

Comfort movie(s): The Nightmare Before Christmas, Halloween, Sharkansas Women's Prison Masscare. Look... hear me out. I enjoy a really bad shark movie as long as they have charm, Sharkansas is so fucking funny and it never goes the way you'd expect it to. How'd the sharks end up in a women's prison? Well that'd be a spoiler—

Comfort show(s): My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, Gravity Falls, Midnight Mass. Quite a strange combination, but yeah I could talk for hours about any of them.

Comfort clothing: Big oversized sweaters, nice fitting button-ups, over sized t-shirts. I still dress like an edgy teenager, so it's all black and like band or horror tees.

Comfort song(s): Too many to list, but I listen to a lot of Red Vox in general, since they've been a favorite of mine since I really started for form an opinion on music beyond what my parents listened to.

Comfort book(s): Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, uhhh... I don't read as often as I should. Blame bad highschool teachers and a bad depression during that period.

Comfort game(s): I play a lot of "cozy games" for comfort, mostly because I can put a podcast or something on in the bg. I've been playing a lot of Ranch of Rivershine, Dreamlight Valley, and Paleo Pines, but RoR is all I can really recommend out of those 3. Dreamlight's devs do not keep their promises and you basically have to pay 70$ for a full game and Paleo does not feel finished at all and needs a lot of work, it's not worth 40$ I got it on sale and still felt like I bought an early access game. I've been enjoying a lot of Darkest Dungeon 2 recently though, but four people go into that dungeon and five come out mad, so it's hit or miss for comfort.

Tagged by: @mxlevolence (thank you!!)

Tagging: Uhhh idk who hasn't been tagged, just steal it from me

#ooc #i have too many game opinions sorry- I also rlly need to read more but man... highschool rlly did things to me #and reading is a skill i need to exercise beyond tumblr writing and fanfic

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roseshewrites · 5 months ago

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Down The Devil's Path snippet (1922 human Alastor WIP) - ARFlanagan

"Bless me, Père, for I have sinned. It's been twelve years since my last confession," Alastor had said, the words dry in his mouth.

A curl of his lip, a sardonic smile. People really did this. Good people, evil people, and anyone in between like himself who had his trepidous beginnings onto a path the likes of which would make someone's hair curl.

"It's been a long time, mon enfant.. What sins have you commited that you seek forgiveness for?"

"No longer 'enfant', Father," he had laughed, "I've done things a child would never think to do except for an exceptionally cruel one. I suppose that was me, then."

His laugh had been the hollow sort, echoing drily against the mahogany walls of the confessional booth. In front of him, the Father's shadow was cast across the grate, silent and listening.

"If you're waiting for my contrition, I don't know if I have it in me," Alastor continued, "Anyway, I wanted to tell someone. Be recognized for it, maybe. I killed a woman yesterday."

Alastor tilted his head as he grinned, waiting for the poor priest's response; if he squinted his eyes and leaned in, he could just see the dark profile beyond the grate.

He hadn't actually done it, yet. The woman was currently tied up head to toe in his basement. An evil thing, he thought of her. Vicious, like him, and that was how he liked them; but not cruel, and especially not cruel to children who had done nothing deserving of torture yet on this earth.

"Ah," the Priest responded, muttering something in a latin prayer and seeming to cross himself. "Is this....the first of such crimes?"

"No, Père. The most recent of many. My first woman kill, though. I don't generally go after women. She'd done something unforgivable in my eyes. See I had witnessed her shaking her child- a four month old, mind you- and it was crying so loudly and screaming, I couldn't help myself. I saw red, and before I knew it I had taken the baby from her and sliced her throat with my pocket knife."

.."And the child?"

"Safe," Alastor quipped, "I'm not that much of a monster! Not yet. She's with the Ursuline Sisters in the French Quarter."

"You said you're not here to feel contrition. Why tell me all this then?" - dear Père was having trouble keeping the tremor out of his voice. Too bad, Alastor thought with glee, he is honor bound to keep the anonymity of Confession. It's his holy duty.

"Well, I had a curiosity, really. Since number one, I don't believe I've sinned in the traditional sense- I had a question in my mind in what the lord almighty might say about my soul...I'm on my devil's path. That's what I call it. And before I go down fully, embrace it, you tell me; how much potential is there for an absolvement?"

Alastor really didn't want to know. In truth, he didn't give a single shit. But his visit with the Ursuline Sisters had sparked a strange memory in him; of a church in his old neighborhood, St. Augustine, which he used to attend with his parents, or rather was made to attend. Even now the smoky tang of incense made his throat hurt and feel dry, the walls closed in. It was the opposite of holy.

"I would urge you to turn yourself in," the poor priest had begged him, "There is absolution in admittance of guilt. That's your first step. What you've done..."

"What I've done is unforgivable," Alastor finished for him, "But what's more, my lady friend tried to trick me. 'I'm expecting,' she said, when she saw how angry I'd gotten, and Père, what's more is that I hate a liar and an abuser in tandem."

She really thought she had him there; what a dolt. And to lie to someone like Alastor, who was well-versed in body language and silent ticks, who also was attuned to the smell of blood, he'd known she had just gotten her menses. He wasn't stupid. He had quite purposely left her to languish in her own blood so as to teach her a lesson.

He was growing bored with the situation, however; Père's trembling had become irksome and he could feel that hint of boiling haze which had been unlocked yesterday come over him. Maybe it was the sight of an abused child, perhaps the screams of said youngling, and better yet, an as untold memory striking a chord with him as he handed the squalling thing over to the gentle Ursuline ladies at their orphanage.

He wanted to act fast, and so when he withdrew his pocket knife and stabbed it through the grate, giggling inconsolably at the Père's terror, he crossed himself and gave a mocking bow toward the confessional booth as he left, saying, "And there's the end of it, really! Oh stop yelling. I'm not going to kill you."

He'd gotten his answer; absolution was a constantly changing and fluid form conducted in an ouroboros, a snake, eating its own tail in an eternal cycle. Damn foolish of humanity to make up ways to be redeemed when there was no such thing.

#hazbin #hazbin alastor #human alastor #alastor's human beginnings #hazbin hotel #Mixed Creole #mixed creole alastor #alastor hartfelt #alastor has catholic roots #haitian creole representation #New Orleans 1922

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aita-blorbos · 7 months ago

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(Long story, au so far removed from canon it might as well be ocs at this point)

AITA for cheating on my wife?

(TW child abuse, religious trauma/abuse, homophobia, death of a child, cancer)

I (34M) have been married to my wife, L (35F) for 15 years. We got married shortly after I turned 18, because that is the norm in the church we both grew up in. L has been my best friend since I was very young, we have always been part of a group within our church of people around our ages (currently 30-36, three other men and two other women). Our church is extremely conservative and restrictive, best described as a fundamentalist evangelical Christian church, and extremely tight-knit and small. I was born into it, as were most members of the church, and because of how close everyone is, there's very much an attitude of "us vs the outside world."

The home I grew up in was worse than miserable. My mother joined the church as a teenager, which is not very common, and married my father barely a few years later, as soon as she turned 18. My father is nine years older than her, and a piece of shit. Neither of them are good parents, but my father was extremely abusive to her and to his children for as long as I can remember. My mother was also abusive to myself and my little sister, but never to the physical extent that my father was, she tended much more towards emotional abuse. This is relevant because one of the reasons L became my best friend, and one of the reasons our whole group means so much to me, is that they listened to me when I said the way my parents treated us was far beyond the norm, even for other families that believed in the idea of "spare the rod, spoil the child." Every child in our church was spanked or sent to bed hungry, but not every child was held home "sick" from school for a week to hide the evidence of how bad things got when their father had a bad day at work. Whenever I tried to tell anybody who had actual power about the way my sister and I were being treated, I was brushed off as a kid who didn't understand consequences. L never did that, and neither did anybody else in our group.

My sister was born when I was eight. Her name was Kayla. When I was fifteen and she was seven, she was diagnosed with leukemia. When I was sixteen and she was eight, she passed away. L and our other friends were my rocks during that time, as my home life only got worse as my parents fed off the sympathy of others and took out their financial stress from the medical bills on me. This was when L and I first discussed the possibility of marriage once we were both eighteen and sort of started seeing each other. I say sort of because it wasn't like we dated, exactly, as boys and girls were pretty heavily discouraged from spending one-on-one time together, and things didn't really change that much between us, or in the dynamic of our group, which at that time was much smaller because a four year age gap is much larger at 12 and 16 than it is now, when the youngest of our friend group is 30 and the oldest is 36. We just knew that we were planning on getting married, and a few months before my eighteenth birthday, we talked to her parents, my parents, and the pastor of our church, and everybody agreed that we would get married once I graduated high school, a few months after I turned 18. Then I would go to college, law school, everything I had always planned to do to start a career to support my eventual family, and once I had settled into a career, she would be the housewife she had always expected to be.

Before I get to the next part of the story, let me make something extremely clear. I love L. I have loved her since we were children, and I will love her until the day I die, no matter what happens. It's a fact about me that I will never escape because she was there for me and made sure I knew that I was loved in the worst times and moments of my life, and that means everything to me.

However, that love has never been romantic.

I realized that I was gay when I was 12 years old. It was an extremely traumatic realization for me; I was physically sick to my stomach for days and experienced some of the only true panic attacks I've ever had in the days after that. I didn't tell anybody because, as you might imagine, the attitude towards gay people in our church is not exactly friendly. Quite the opposite, in fact. I knew that if I told anybody, even my best friends or the pastor of our church, that I would be an outcast and treated like garbage. I hated myself, and I was convinced that if I was a good enough Christian, God would take the burden of homosexuality away from me and make me straight like I knew I should be. I prayed for so long that my knees bled from kneeling, and I threw myself into the church like never before. I led youth groups and bible studies, volunteered to teach Sunday school, I went to both Sunday services and the mid-week service every week, I was in my pastor's office asking questions and discussing theology constantly, and still, I never had any interest in any girls and couldn't stop the random thoughts about boys from popping into my head. Puberty only made things worse.

By the time my sister died, I had convinced myself that if I found the right woman, I would eventually love her the way I was supposed to. Something in me shattered when Kayla died, and as L supported me through it, I decided that she would be the woman I loved and married.

It didn't work like that. Obviously. A few years ago, after more than a decade of marriage and still the constant prayers and begging God to "fix" me, my faith slowly died. Looking back, I almost can't believe how long it took for me to realize that if God couldn't protect me from my parents, and couldn't heal my sister, and couldn't "fix" my sexuality, then why was I spending so much of my time and effort worshipping him? Once the resentment took hold, I slowly stopped believing in everything I had been taught since I was a kid. I had always been very good at compartmentalizing, keeping the church and my faith and beliefs completely separate from the "worldly" knowledge I needed as a lawyer and to get through school. Even when I was in college and law school, there was this constant caveat of "I need to know this (ie evolution) to get a passing grade, but I know the Truth as it's found in God's word." As I very slowly started questioning things, that dichotomy started to break down in my head. If I believed in DNA, which had been proven by science, why shouldn't I believe in evolution, which was also supported by science? If I can trust archeological and geological dating on things like ancient structures in the Middle East and artifacts that support bible stories, why can't I trust those same geologists who say the Earth is billions of years old? The logic started eating away at the things I believed, and what started as resentment towards God turned into apathy, turned into agnosticism, turned into atheism. At this point in time, I would consider myself an atheist.

I didn't know how to talk about any of this with anybody. I didn't have any friends who weren't also in the church, not even at work, where I rarely talked to anybody about anything not directly work-related. I knew if I tried to talk to L about it, especially the part where one of the things it stemmed from was my being gay and lying to her about my feelings and attraction to her for years, at best, she would try to convince me to talk to the pastor about it and at worst, she would tell everyone, and I would lose every important person in my life. So I didn't. I kept acting like everything was the same, going to church and work and bible study, leading worship music on Sunday mornings. It was eating me alive, but I didn't know what else to do.

I'm not usually an impulsive person. I love planning and knowing exactly what is about to happen. It's not like me at all to do something on impulse. But one night, after work, and after months of trying to figure out what to do about my whole life being a miserable lie, I texted my wife that I had to stay late to finish some work for a case and not to wait up for me, and I went to a gay bar. It was my first time in any bar, actually, and very much my first time acting on anything when it came to my sexuality.

There was a guy there. I mean, there were many men there, but there was one I couldn't look away from. It wasn't just that he was physically attractive, though he was beautiful, it was how free he was. He was dancing and wearing makeup and had his fingernails painted, and it made my chest hurt to look at him and wonder who I would have been if I could have been so free. And he clearly liked the look of me, too, because he came up to me when I'd been inside for a few minutes and asked me to dance, and one thing led to another and I went home with him. It was the first time I had sex with somebody other than my wife, obviously, and it was also the first time I ever felt like I understood what sex was supposed to be about, because I was actually attracted to the person I was having sex with. Was it perfect? No. I had no idea what I was doing because I've never done it before, but it was fun. I smiled without faking it for the first time in a long time, and he even made me laugh.

He gave me his number before I left. I started texting him at work the next day, and never stopped. It's been around five months, and I'm a little bit scared to admit that I think I might be falling in love with him.

As far as I know, he doesn't know that I'm married. My wife obviously doesn't know, and I don't know how I would even begin to tell her. I know I have to tell him that I'm married and that I've already waited too long. He deserves better than I've given him. But I'm scared that if I tell my wife, she'll tell everyone at church, and I'll lose every semblance of a support system that I've ever had.

So, AITA for cheating on my wife with a man and having no idea how to move forward?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality #religious abuse #cults #child abuse #abuse #partner abuse #child death

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manuscripts-dontburn · 1 month ago

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The True Story of the Romanov Family

Author: Diaconesti Monastery

First published: 2024

Rating: ★★★★☆

This graphic retelling of the story of the Romanov family was done with a great amount of love. The illustrations are rich in colour and detail and the book is worth its price just for them. But if you want more than a simplified overview, you will not get too much from it. is it factually correct? Yes, for the most part. But I have to say that in the pursuit of underlining the saintliness of the Romanovs, the actual human beings they once were are being lost and overwritten by the Orthodox Church. they had flaws which made their humility and piousness at the end all the more impressive and touching, but somehow the discourse here is that they were saints from the moment of their births. And you cannot simply leave Rasputin out of the story and not be disingenuous about your intentions. If you are an avid Romanov enthusiast, I would recommend this book for the artwork, but at the same time, this is not the TRUE story of the Romanov family. It is an outline told from only one point of view - that of the modern Orthodox church.

Les Misérables

Author: Victor Hugo

First published: 1862

Rating: ★★★★☆

I have watched this story adapted so many times that there were no surprises left for me to find in the book, except for the really, really long description of the Battle of Waterloo (curiously enough I did not mind all of the other "let´s hit a pause and talk about this thing for 50 pages" instances). And even knowing the story so well I was still captivated. The story is so well thought through and so well constructed one can only admire it and even though unrealistic in the way characters tends to give long speeches, it really hits hard. by the end I had genuine tears in my eyes. I would not hesitate to recommend an abridged version if you would like to read it but are afraid of the huge chunks of text which I have mentioned above.

Reputation

Author: Lex Croucher

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I expected little, considering this is clearly described as "Bridgerton" like thing, but it really gives obscenely little. The main point of setting your story in history is to use that historical epoch´s mindset and social conduct as an important part of the narrative, at least in my opinion, but all that was borrowed here were the dresses. The characters, their behaviour and everything else is really just high school drama from the modern times. And the biggest crime? To claim something is in the vein of Jane Austen and not being even remotely funny.

Down and Out in Paris and London

Author: George Orwell

First published: 1933

Rating: ★★★★★

Orwell wrote his memories down the way he would write a novel. I found this book both very informative, quite relatable (even if only from the perspective of a once-exploited hotel employee) and sad because hardly anything has changed for the homeless and downtrodden since the book was written and the story lived by the author.

Yellow Jessamine

Author: Caitlin Starling

First published: 2020

Rating: ★★★★☆

It is quite remarkable how much such a short book can do. It is only about 130 pages long, but the story itself feels like you have been given at least thrice that amount. A good mix of fantasy and horror, it is constructed in a way one could easily mistake it for historical fiction. I did lose a thread once or twice because my mind drifted off suddenly and perhaps less talk in the latter half could have been replaced by action and thoughts. Still, a solid and quick read, the perfect recommendation for any Halloween readathon.

The Four Loves

Author: C.S. Lewis

First published: 1960

Rating: ★★★★★

I find great comfort in Lewis´ musings. Even if, as any woman, I realize his view of the role of women was rather old-fashioned and there are moments when I did not completely agree, I do believe he had a deep understanding of Christianity and its underlying principles. I wish more modern Christians, especially the ones who are leaning towards nationalism, would read this book and meditate upon it. I especially enjoyed the parts about friendships and their importance.

Ordinary Monsters

Author: J.M. Miro

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★★★☆

At first, this felt like Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children but much better from the start, as it progressed it definitely was shaped into its own thing. And I was surprised just how much I liked and enjoyed this adventure! The characters really grow on you, the pacing is excellent with the right balance of discovering, talking and action, there are some genuinely unexpected surprises along the way and I am now definitely invested in what happens next.

The Graveyard Book Graphic Novel

Author: Neil Gaiman, P. Craig Russell

First published: 2017

Rating: ★★★★☆

The Graveyard Book was a great story and the graphic adaptation of it is gorgeous. That said I am sad to say this is probably my last ever Neil Gaiman book, unless the SA/harassment reports which have recently come to light are proven false. The human experience is not kind to that possibility.

Romola

Author: George Eliot

First published: 1863

Rating: ★★★★★

I officially love George Eliot. This is the fourth book of hers I read and thought quite different to the others as far as setting and time period goes, it is as engaging and alive as them. Romola is an exploration of characters who find themselves in a marriage and only too late find out they are completely unsuited for each other. While Tito, the greatest fuck-boy of them all, proceeds to lose himself bit by bit in his selfishness, Romola needs to shape her life and ideas according to the disappointments and losses she keeps encountering, to save her own integrity and her mind. Their private dilemma takes place during a restless period in Florentine history after the expulsion of the Medici and during the "reign" of Savonarola, and these events are crucially intertwined with the lives of the characters. The research is top-notch and descriptions of life in the renaissance Florence are extremely vivid and ring true. One of my favourite classics I have read in a while.

Nikola Šuhaj loupežník

Author: Ivan Olbracht

First published: 1933

Rating: ★★★★★

Seznámená s příběhem dokonale díky Baladě pro banditu, nečekalo na mne na stránkách této knihy žádné překvapení kromě jediného: jak překrásně napsaná je. Během několika málo vět, v nichž Ivan Olbracht začal popisovat divokou nádheru, kde kdysi Šuhaj skutečně žil, jsem se propadla do příběhu a neměla jsem vůli ho opustit až do poslední strany. Tohle není příběh, kdy by autor očekával, že někdo bude jeho "hrdinu" obdivovat či vůbec za hrdinu považovat. Je to příběh tvrdého života v kraji, kde se čas zastavil někde ve středověku.

Assassin of Reality

Author: Marina and Sergei Dyachenko

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Vita Nostra was a book that f*cked with my mind more than any other. Assassin of Reality is not a bad sequel at all, it is written well and there is more mind-f*ckery to wallow in. But I do not think it was truly needed and most importantly what made Vita Nostra SO appealing to me and my sensibilities was the extremely believable campus and student life described (so vivid you could smell the clothes drying on the radiators in the small rooms) and that is no longer here. The setting has been moved into our present time, including the technology, and the story no longer has that patina that had made it so immersive. There is also not a lot new to discover, we already know pretty much everything as does the main protagonist. Read if you felt unsatisfied with the opened-ending of the first book.

Somewhere Beyond the Sea

Author: T.J. Klune

First published: 2024

Rating: ★★★☆☆

I adored the first book and was happy to meet up with the characters again, I also understand the intention behind it and appreciate it. The dressing up our world´s issue in the fantasy garb is clearly purposeful, but I personally thought it a bit too heavy-handed and 50% of the book is really just inspirational quotes, to the point where nothing is happening. Some of the scenes seemed endless. The ending.... was a bit too much. It is a fairy tale with a moral core, but even though I agree with that moral, I did not have the absolute best time as a reader.

Angela Carter's Book of Fairy Tales

Author: Angela Carter

First published: 1992

Rating: ★★★★☆

Beautifully published, this is a collection of fairytales from various parts of the world from Africa to Siberia, many of which feel familiar (as they had made their way into other cultures), some are laugh-out-loud funny (the Palestinian one about a girl born as a pot, I´m looking at you), some with a lesson to be learned. And then there are the Innuit ones. Those are just weird, man. :D

Carmilla

Author: J. Sheridan Le Fanu

First published: 1872

Rating: ★★★★☆

Surprisingly readable and enjoyable, as long as you do not get too mad at men "protecting" the young but adult woman by withholding information about her own health. This book must have been truly chilling when it first appeared and frankly, it is clear that it still works today, considering that much of what is used in it has repeatedly been re-used to the point it became a cliché. The sapphic tones I had not expected, but it definitely made the whole thing more interesting. A good and quick read for the spooky season.

The Witch and the Tsar

Author: Olesya Salnikova Gilmore

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

The beginning held so much potential... but then it became very generic, the character completely divorced from anything even remotely making her THE Baba Yaga she is supposed to be... sigh sigh sigh.... I guess I´ll just point you in the direction of this all-problems-encompassing review and just... move on to other books.

#booklr #wrap up #September 2024

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aromancy · 7 months ago

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On Gendered Storytelling

Okay, so.

For the purposes of this discussion, I'll be basing my arguments on the two most prevalent genders; those being cis men and cis women. There are other genders, and any time anybody tells me there aren't, we'll add another, but this is going to be a broad-strokes analysis which such nuances won't really assist in dissecting, so I'm going to gloss over that stuff. Know that when I say "men" and "women" for the purposes of this mini-essay, I'm referring to the "average" man and the "average" woman. I'll be making plenty of generalizations in the proceeding text, but every rule has exceptions aplenty, especially when discussing gender, and nothing I say is going to be universally applicable.

Okay? Okay.

My household consisted of four men (myself, my two brothers, and my father) and one woman (my mother) for the majority of the 2000s-2010s. During that time, our family got very much into the Marvel Cinematic Universe; or at least, most of us did. Despite repeated attempts to engage our mother in the universe, my brothers and I failed to capture her interest. More than once during trips to the theater to view installments of the films, she fell asleep halfway through. This made sense during Thor: the Dark World, but less so during our viewing of Ant-Man, which, despite several notable plotholes, was overall an engaging experience for 15-year-old Aro.

More recently, mom has been trying to connect with us through communal viewing of reality TV based on our interests; LEGO Masters is commonly playing, due to my brother's interest in legos, and ever since I got more into cooking, we've also added Chopped and Master Chef to our repertoire.

And it's all boring as sin.

Oh, we watch it. It's nice to see mom happy, and to spend time with her; she spends so much time at church nowadays, and given how the rest of the family has stopped attending mass since the youngest turned 18, that means that the reality shows are about the only social time we get with her. And I do like spending time with her, but I frankly couldn't give a 15-minute ice cream sundae who wins this episode of Chopped.

So I got to thinking why that is. I voiced some of this to my parents, wondering if it had something to do with the culture in which we are raised; men are typically seen as active participants in society, expected to be breadwinners for their families and more involved with social progress; while women are typically put in a more passive role, as the caretakers and raisers of the next generation.

My father pointed out that you can't knock the biological component; men, generally having higher levels of testosterone than women, are typically more aggressive and competitive than the fairer sex. As such, they'd be more receptive to action-heavy films that otherwise lack substance, a la the Transformers franchise. I don't love to reduce things to biological essentialism, but I do think he's got a point; we know that testosterone, like all hormones, has a significant impact on mood and behavior.

That said, I don't think it's purely a matter of people with more testosterone finding action more engaging; the shows I mentioned above are all competitions, after all, which you would expect to resonate well with competitive people (generally men). I also know for a fact that many action films, made poorly, fail to resonate with audiences of either gender. Green Lantern comes to mind as an example of a superhero show that nobody liked, and I already mentioned Thor: the Dark World above, just to solidify my point.

I think the main difference is in the stakes. In a lot of action movies, the stakes are extremely high; the stability of nations, the power of an organized crime syndicate, the world at large are all common stakes in such films. Meanwhile, a lot of reality shows have much more personal stakes; the relationship between family and friends, the love between two strangers, the bereavement of a widow. Both stakes have their place; I want to get along well with my family, but I also want the planet to not explode. But for some reason, media targeted towards men seems to focus mainly on the former, while media targeted towards women often focuses on the latter.

And I don't think it has to be this way. There are action movies, for instance, which focus a lot on lower, interpersonal stakes. I seem to recall that Venom was a lot more popular among female audiences than expected, and conversely a lot less popular among male audiences than expected, for basically telling the story of a man and his symbiote like it was a romantic comedy. John Wick has a dark order of assassins operating in the background, but the debut film is just a story about a man getting revenge for the death of his dog. Women love John Wick! (Here I'll remind you of the notes about generalization back in paragraph one.)

Meanwhile, there are stories with very high stakes and not a whole lot of action. Interstellar threatens the extinction of the human race, but only due to a global famine, with nary a punch thrown throughout the entire film. Yet it seems to resonate with men just as well as with women, perhaps even moreso.

I would assert, therefore, that it is the difference in stakes which resonate more with one gender or the other, and that men typically prefer situations with grander stakes, while women typically prefer situations with more personal stakes. I'm still not sure precisely why that is, but I'd love to get the input of others, if anyone wants to contribute their two cents! Or maybe you think I'm wrong! I'd love to hear about that, too! Leave a reply and let me know why I have no idea what I'm talking about! Thanks!

#film #movies #gender #media analysis #tropes #demographics

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rochenn · 8 months ago

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eastern bloc gal here. I get what you mean (I'm atheist and about as spiritual as a rock so this is a wildly different perspective) but I did feel like I was missing a bunch of cultural references because my parents weren't willing to teach me any of it. so I chose to go to a religious school (on purpose. out of my own free will) and boy was it a mistake. So many bigotted people (not everyone ofc but the outstanding majority) with the vilest takes you've ever heard, and I swear even I'm more familiar with the Bible than some of them, they just parrot things back that no one has ever said. and overall they're not even the majority but they're getting louder and somehow the whole country has this image of a good Christian country while almost half the population isn't even religious. I think this turned into a rant. I AM SORRY feel free to ignore

Noo don't apologize this is so real!! My parents sent me to a fucking evangelical elementary school—not because they're religious but bc all the state schools had a reputation for lacking teachers back in the late 00s. That evangelical school was right next to an 800yo church and I thought the building was really cool! But in over four years of attendance, bible study and church assembly I never even *remotely* vibed with the religion because I couldn't take anything away from it. They took all the holidays I loved and removed the best ("heathen") parts and also said that Pokémon is Satan's work. Lol. Way to turn kids away from your faith I guess.

Lacking that sort of cultural touchstone because your parents aren't connected to it because your grandparents never taught them because your great-grandparents abandoned it is kinda weird. Like being brought up irreligiously is great but in the end you're still "culturally Christian" and the actual Christians in your country suddenly expect you to stick up for that shit?? They start talking about Christian values like it's supposed to be a big part of your national identity and yeah then some loud (sometimes even regional) minority says that certain women shouldn't be allowed to cover their hair because I guess that's only cool when Christian nuns do it. Idk man the whiplash is crazy. Almost as crazy as ppl claiming that a whole nation is defined by a thinning religion lmao

#i guess germany is a weird case tho bc all the religious loudmouths are from the south #and they have their own annoying ass political party #meanwhile the alt right would not dream of invoking god in their east germany-oriented marketing #bc my home state there is 75% atheist lol #ask #this is actually really interesting stuff. i wonder if there are papers about it

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fundielicious-simblr · 1 year ago

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(Valentina's pov)

We've definitely been enjoying our summer here in Brindleton Bay! We try and spend most of our day outside, now that the girls are toddlers we have a lot more freedom as to what we can do. Aria and Ansel have been going with their dad to fish in a nearby lake almost every day since summer started, and whilst they don't come back with a fish everyday, they come back with stories about their fishing adventures that I'm sure they'll look back on with fondness. Whilst we aren't actively doing schoolwork in the summer, we're still learning when we're outside. The kids research the kinds of fish that are local to our area, so they know how to identify anything they might catch. Ever since we got our chickens, we've been learning all the things about them like the differences between the eggs that are laid for us to eat versus the fertilised eggs that hatch into chicks. We've also been learning about the fruits and vegetables that we've been growing, as well as the local plants and animals in the area. We've been debating whether to move to a property that has more land to have more animals, but that's a big undertaking so we're definitely praying on it.

These four are proving to be thick as thieves, there's a year between them and they're determined to put me through my paces. I don't mind it though, I'm taking my time and cherishing all these memories while they're still young. Before I know it they'll be in school, then maybe even college, then getting married and moving out. I'm so thankful for the Lord choosing me to be the mama of these rambunctious kids.

(AN: The kid should really be a toddler cause he's 2 weeks younger then valentina's youngest 2, but lets pretend these are old pictures. Also, I hate that the infant blanket has to appear when they're being posed)

My sister Sabrina and her husband Tucker live further out in the country from us, but we still see them at church and manage to plan to see each other when our schedules align. Though Tucker's family still does their touring music ministry for parts of the year, Tucker and Sabrina have chosen to focus on maintaining the farm and being at home. They've even bought their own home close to the farm, as they wanted their own place for their growing family. Sabrina announced that they're expecting another baby by early next year!

My little brother Zachary is courting! He met Kelsey Parnell (19) last year when he was in Brindleton Bay to visit us, Kelsey lives in a town an hour away from Brindleton Bay but has the same social circles as our aunt Danielle. I guess my aunt is determined to have her nieces and nephews have ties to Brindleton Bay so that there will always be a way to see her, because this is now the 3rd couple she's used her match making skills on (the first being Me and Eric, the second being Sabrina and Tucker). Kelsey spends her time helping her mother at home, or working with the same ministry my aunt sometimes works with. They first met at a christmas bake sale to support an pro-life ministry, and would see each other everytime Zach would visit Brindleton Bay either for work or to see us. My parents were able to meet her parents as well and our families got along great, they agreed that it was okay for the two to get to know each other better in order for a courtship to happen, and recently Zach got the greenlight to ask her to start a courtship. Kelsey is a great girl, we've known her and her family for a few years and I think they'll make a great couple.

Celeste is also courting! She's in a courtship with a delightful young man named Reid Robbins (25) from Northbury, a town a few hours outside Britechester. They met through mutual friends when she was at a young women's retreat that was a ministry run by his church. She met one of his sisters and they became fast friends, and she later introduced the girls to her family and the rest of the church congregation. These two met and there was a group chat formed where they all got to know each other and challenged each other daily to keep up in their walk with the Lord. Between a few visits to Newcrest, a few visits to Northbury, and some group trips added into the mix, Reid had started to pray to the Lord about Celeste (what he didn't know is that she'd also started praying about him!). After discussing the fact with his parents, they contacted our parents and after both sides approved, he made his way to my parents house in Newcrest and officially asked her! Though she was excited, Celeste was slightly apprehensive at the beginning because she is slightly older than him (her being 27 and him being 25), but my sisters and I reassured her that if she felt the Lord leading her in that direction - then to follow where she's being led. Now she's happier than ever before, she's already started dreaming about what their wedding will look like!

#fundie sims #fundiesims #quiverfull sims #collins family #quiver full sims #modest sims #sims 4 legacy #collins legacy #homeschool sims #sims 4 courtship #sims 4 pregnancy #gen 3 #Eric and Valentina #tucker and sabrina #Zachary and Kelsey #Reid and Celeste #gen 4 #post #eric and valentinas kids are actually always outside #they wander everywhere #theres always one in the pen with the chickens #sabrina and tucker are shooting out children #both their families are very much the 'have all the babies' type #theyre also the 'marry young' crowd considering the courtships #celeste is giving allison bontrager energy but shes not got the outgoing personality #its mostly the younger man tbh #but at this point shes just happy to be in a relationship #three siblings on either side of her are all married with the last two still in highschool so she was def feeling the pressure

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edupunkn00b · 1 year ago

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The Uses of Adversity, Ch. 19: The Discovery

Prev - The Discovery - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Janus and Logan in court. Everything comes to light. Everything. A light against the darkened sky Your truth must outshine all the lies, it seems But from the outside looking in I say I'll move mountains! - I’ll Move Mountains by Roo Panes

WC: 4266 - Rating: T - CW: infidelity discussed, homophobia (oh, hello, Karen) -

“I just got back from court,” Logan said, poking his head into Janus’ office. Janus was surrounded by stacks of redwells, bursting with case files and xeroxed sheets of paper. “Beatrice said you needed to see me.”

“Yes,” Janus nodded and waved him in toward the couch. His mouth was set in a tight, thin line. “Shut the door and have a seat,” he said, closing one of the files. “Please.”

Logan sat down, hands folded over the files in his lap. He watched silently as Janus popped a handful of peppermint Altoids in his mouth and crunched. Not a good day for him. Finally, he spoke.

“They sent the discovery.” Janus was quiet for a moment, then got up to make tea.

Janus didn’t need to say who ‘they’ was. “I see it’s good news, then,” Logan remarked dryly, stiffening in his seat and adjusting his glasses.

Janus huffed out a little laugh. “Yeah.” He opened the box of matcha and scooped out two generous teaspoonfuls before glaring at the collection of files on his desk. “Even setting aside how they ran out the clock and only sent all that the day before our first hearing… No, it’s really not good.” The kettle clicked and Janus poured the hot water over the matcha, stirring rapidly with the little bamboo whisk. He set the first cup in front of Logan, then prepared the next. “Does the name Jessica Michaels ring a bell for you? This would’ve been… early 2000s. She was a—”

“She was a marriage counselor we saw shortly after Virgil was born. After…” Logan gestured vaguely with his left hand. Janus nodded, mouth turned down in a scowl. “We met once a week for… four and a half years.”

Janus set down his tea next to Logan’s, then gathered the thickest redwell of documents and sat next to his friend. “I don’t know if you were aware at the time, but… she wasn’t an actual counselor. She was a…. “ Janus fished through the documents and pulled out a C.V. with her credentials. “A ‘women’s fellowship leader’ at Ms. Croft’s church. Layperson, not a member of the clergy.” Janus folded his hands over the worn cover of the file holder. “There was no patient confidentiality in anything discussed during those sessions. Nor any documents… or journals used.”

Logan paled and his breathing grew shallow. Hands shaking, his tea threatened to spill over the edge and the cup clunked heavily as he set it down. He eyed the redwell on Janus’ lap like it might grow fangs and bite him. “Tha—that’s what you have in there?”

“Copies, yes.” Janus gripped the redwell, tapping it while he thought. “I’ve already filed a motion to have the journals and any notes from those sessions suppressed, with the originals returned to you due to the fact that any reasonable person would’ve believed they’d been collected under the rules of patient confidentiality.” He let out a low sigh. “If that fails, I plan to request copies of the full documents. These are… excerpts. We need the full context and—”

“I know the context,” Logan said quietly. “Those are my dream journals. Recording and sharing them in session was meant to foster an environment of ‘trust and open communication.’” Logan drowned the bitterness in his voice with the tea and stared down into the now-empty cup. “Have you read them?”

“I stopped once I saw what they were.”

Logan looked away. “But you saw enough.”

“I did.”

The two men let the silence sit between them for several minutes. Janus took Logan’s empty cup and prepared him more tea, then resumed his seat next to him. “If the motion to suppress is denied,” Logan’s voice was stronger than Janus would’ve expected given his pallor and the lingering tremor in his hands. “We need to ensure the court redacts any details that could be used to identify him.” Logan shook his head, jaw trembling. “I can’t have Roman dragged into this mess.”

Janus sighed again and opened the redwell. He pulled out a thick blueback petition and passed it to Logan. Several of the pages had been flagged with bright sticky notes. “Even if we’re successful with a petition to redact, I’m afraid that won’t make much of a difference.” He looked significantly at the document.

“They’ve filed an amended petition alleging infidelity starting in law school.” Logan’s brow furrowed, mouth opening to protest. Janus held up his hand and continued gently. “Roman is named in the case.”

“But—but, no! That’s—that’s not what happened!” Logan jerked away from the document as though touching it would be an admission of guilt. “I never—we never—”

“Logan, I’m on your side. I believe you. Regardless, though… even if it were true,” Janus gestured around the office. “I’m your lawyer and your friend and I’d still be on your side.”

Logan put down his tea and wrapped his arms over his belly, staring down at his lap. “I just….” He squeezed his eyes shut, and turned his face up to the ceiling. He blew out a sharp breath. “I thought I was done with her… hurting me.” Logan shook his head. “And now she just wants to hurt Roman, too, and—” His voice broke and he looked away. “I never should’ve mentioned his name,” he whispered, almost to himself. “I thought it would be safe. I thought…” He yanked off his glasses and scrubbed at his eyes. “I thought I’d never see him again. Not… not in real life.”

Janus put down the case files and locked the door. He made a show of closing his laptop and then sat on the little sofa sideways and faced him. “I need to ask you something, Logan. Not as your lawyer. Not as your boss. And not as Roman’s brother-in-law.” Logan looked up at him, eyebrows knit together. “I ask this as your friend.”

He took a long sip of his tea, then looked down into the cup, watching the darker green swirl at the bottom. He raised one eyebrow at him. “Are you concerned about Roman learning through a court case that you have feelings for him?”

“What? No. No, I…” Logan shook his head. “No. They’re just dreams. Were. They—they were dreams, nothing—”

Janus met his eyes, a wordless, ‘Who exactly do you think you’re fooling?’ splashed over his face.

If only the couch could swallow him up whole.

His shoulders sagged. “Janus, I can’t pull him into any of this,” he whispered. “Even if I thought there was any chance he might… reciprocate…” Logan shook his head again and massaged his fingers. The ache hadn’t let up since Janus had started the tea. “Roman could have… he deserves so much more than all this.” He gestured around them, unsure how much he was referring to himself or to the legal fiasco unfolding around them. “He deserves so much more than anything I can offer him.”

Janus set down his cup. “Perhaps you should let Roman be the judge of that.”

Logan dragged both hands through his hair and shook his head. “Is—is it a closed proceeding tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Janus sighed, but nodded and pulled up the short list of attendees. “The lawyers, you, Ms. Croft, a court reporter, and the Adjudicate.”

He nodded and adjusted his tie. “Let’s get through tomorrow,” he whispered. “And then I’ll think about it.”

Fifteen minutes before the scheduled start of the hearing, Janus and Logan sat together at the Defendant’s table in the tiny hearing room. The judge’s bench ate up more than half the space, and, notably, one of the walls was papered over in a faux wood finish, pale and hardly matching the genuine wood paneling on the other side. The hastily assembled dividing wall split the ornate crown molding, leaving the left side of the room plain and dreary.

Still, the chairs were reasonably comfortable and the court staff had managed to fit a decently sized table for each party in a given case. While they waited for the rest of the court to appear, they arranged files on the desk, preparing the various exhibits in the order in which they would need them, their numbers clearly marked for easy retrieval.

The sharp clack of high heels against the linoleum in the hall drew Logan’s attention and his head shot up. It was merely someone passing.

“Eyes on me, remember?” Janus murmured. “Eyes on the judge when the judge is speaking,” he nodded slowly, holding Logan’s gaze. “Otherwise, eyes on me.”

The familiar advice, the advice he himself had given countless clients in DV proceedings, took root in his mind and nodded back. “Thank you,” he whispered, jerking again at a loud footsteps outside but he kept his eyes on Janus’

“It’s not easy, but you’ve got this,” he whispered as the court reporter shuffled in, her heavy transcription machine slung over one shoulder, her lunch bag on the other. Janus stood and bowed his head.

“We haven’t really begun yet, April,” he smiled. “May I give you a hand?”

“The answer’s still no, Pater,” she rolled her eyes behind their thick reading glasses but graced him with a smile. She nodded, still smiling, at Logan in his seat. “I have to admit,” she said, hands automatically assembling her machine without looking. “I saw the name on the docket and wondered.”

April looked around the tiny hearing room and lowered her voice. “Good luck, Mr. Sanders.”

“Thank you, April,” he nodded. For all his worry that the judge hearing his case might find it difficult to separate this from his professional work the next time he tried a case before them, he hadn’t considered the likelihood he might come across others who knew him, as well. If it was to be anyone, though, he was relieved April was the court reporter for this case.

Without looking up from his notes, Janus murmured quietly near his ear. “The Clerk of the Court requested April for this case.” He flashed Logan a tiny smile. “I believe you have more friends than you realize.”

A few minutes later, Kelly's attorney appeared. He waited near the door for several more minutes, finally taking his seat at two to eleven. The thin red second hand on the clock had already passed its nadir when Kelly stomped into the room and dropped into the empty seat next to her attorney. He turned to her, “You made it just in—”

“All rise,” April recited when the little light near the judge’s chambers lit up. Closed hearings were run with the barest of staff and Logan felt a rare brush of relief. He wasn’t certain there were many bailiffs he would want in the room for this.

“Take your seats,” Judge Dain said before she’d even reached the bench. “This is a pretrial hearing in the matter of Croft v. Sanders, to decide the Defendant’s motion to suppress.”

“Yes, Your Honor,” Janus rose and smoothing down his charcoal grey three-piece suit, the quiet clacking of the court reporter’s machine dropping down to a low, ignorable drone. “As you might imagine, dependent on the outcome of this motion, we may have additional motions to present.”

“Expected and understood,” she nodded. There was little point in presenting a motion to redact evidence already suppressed from the case. She looked down at the case file and flipped through the motion before nodding. “Regarding the defendant's motion to suppress Exhibits 13 through 53 inclusive, with all sub-sections therein—” Kelly huffed from her seat, maybe a cough. Maybe a laugh.

The Judge paused, one eyebrow raised until Kelly’s attorney nudged her and she murmured, “Excuse me, Your Honor. A cold.”

She returned her gaze to the documents in front of her. “The defendant has claimed that under RCW 42.56, these documents were collected, retained, and shared in violation of privileged communications.” The judge lowered her glasses at Janus and nodded.

“Yes, Your Honor,” Janus stood again and bowed his head. “Thank you. Given a reasonable assumption of medical confidentiality—”

“Objection.” Kelly’s lawyer, someone different from who had filed their divorce petition. He looked vaguely familiar and Logan wasn’t certain, but he believed he, too, attended Kelly’s old church. “Mrs. Michaels was known by the defendant to be a lay leader at my client’s church and there should have been no such assumption of confidentiality.”

“Your Honor, it is more than reasonable to accept the word of one’s wife that she has made arrangements for marriage counseling with a certified—and confidential—counselor.”

“Are you asking the Court to believe a lawyer didn’t think to ask for clarity?”

“I am asking the Court to believe that even lawyers trust their spouses.”

“Your Honor,” Kelly’s attorney interjected and she turned and smirked at him past their respective representation. “Those documents are the heart of my client’s grievance with Mr. Sanders, both for the charges of infidelity—”

“Alleged and unproven,” Janus interrupted.

“Alleged infidelity and our assertion that he is unfit as a parent and role model for a young boy.” Kelly smiled one more time at Logan, then turned to face the judge, eyes wide. “Additionally,” her laugher cleared his throat and looked significantly at the judge. “Refusal to admit these documents into evidence could be perceived as prejudicial against the practices of Ms. Croft’s house of worship.”

The judge pursed her lips, then nodded. “Motion to suppress denied.”

Janus cut off Kelly’s quiet laugher, “Your Honor, motion to strike from the record any and all names, identifying information, descriptions, or any details whatsoever that could be used to trace back to Person A, so named in the plaintiff’s revised petition.” He stood tall, holding a fresh blue-backed document. When the judge signaled him closer, he passed one to Kelly’s attorney and presented the original to the judge.

“Given the salacious nature of the claims and his relative fame, even a spurious”—he cast one cold glance at Kelly’s attorney—”claim such as this could cause Person A a great deal of financial and psychological harm.”

The judge hummed, narrowing her eyes as she scanned the motion. “You’re also alleging the intent of naming Mr. Prince is to encourage a settlement.”

“It would hardly be the first such case to cross this Court, Your Honor,” Janus nodded. “There is precedent in Dunkely v. Roy, Powers v. Powers, Whitman v.—”

“I am well acquainted with my own docket, Mr. Prince, thank you.” She leaned forward. “Any relation?”

Janus straightened his tie. “Yes, as disclosed in our motion to suppress and in this motion, as well. Person A is my brother-in-law.”

The judge stared at him for a long moment, then signaled to the court reporter. “Motion sustained.” The repeated tapping of the court reporter’s redactions accompanied his return to their table.

Logan couldn’t help a tiny relieved sigh and Janus flashed him a smile as he sat down. At least they had that victory and they could keep Roman’s name out of this.

“What?” Kelly hissed, none-too-quietly. Her attorney’s voice rumbled, too low to understand the words. She jerked away from him, chair scraping the floor. “You’re telling me that this—”

“Ms. Croft, please,” he muttered between clenched teeth.

“Counsel, is there a problem?” the Judge asked.

“Your Honor, if I might request a brief recess so I may confer with my client—”

“That’s bullshit!” Kelly said, louder and rising to her feet. She wobbled on her high heels for a moment and Logan’s chest tightened. He scrawled on a bit of paper and passed it to Janus.

She’s drunk.

Janus watched as her attorney spoke close to her ear, tugging her back into her seat.

Are you sure? he wrote back.

Logan nodded.

“No, we don’t need a recess,” she snapped from her seat. “We just need a legal system that isn’t afraid of looking ‘unwoke.’”

“Your Honor,” her attorney tried again. “Motion for—”

“And we need a judge who isn’t going to kowtow before some fruity little lawyer my ex dug up to try to defend his pathetic ass.”

“Counsel, approach the bench,” the judge ordered, jaw set.

Janus scribbled a question mark on their note, a concerned, ‘Are you okay with this?’ in his eyes.

Logan nodded and wrote back, “Give her all the rope she wants.”

“Your Honor,” Janus bowed his head as he approached. “It appears my esteemed counterpart’s client does not wish for a recess. Defense is ready to proceed.”

Her attorney smiled thinly at him. “You are a credit to your craft, Mr. Prince. Your Honor, not providing my client an opportunity to compose herself, given her current… impaired state could be grounds for an appeal if—”

“Do you mean the client alleging mine is an unfit father reported for court at eleven in the morning inebriated?” Janus turned to the judge. “Your Honor, even I couldn’t make a case for that appeal.”

“I can hear you from here,” Kelly snapped, rising again to her feet. “I told you, Brett,” she leaned over the table, staring daggers at her lawyer. “If his cheating with that twink—”

“Objection, You Honor,” Janus interrupted. “Assumes facts not in evidence and is an ad hominem attack.”

“Sust—”

“He doesn’t have any real parental rights anyway. Patton’s not even his!”

“Objection, Your Honor—” Kelly’s attorney began.

“You can’t object to your client’s own statements in court,” the judge sighed. “Ms. Croft,” she addressed Kelly directly. Kelly flipped her hair back, smiling triumphantly at Logan. “Would you care to repeat that?”

“Patton’s not his child,” she spat, pointing at Logan.

“Counsel?”

Kelly’s attorney shook his head, glancing at Janus. “A brief recess would be beneficial for all, I believe.”

“Your Honor,” Janus turned and Logan nodded, stretching to pass him the pale blue folder on their table.

The day before, as they’d strategized for the hearing, Janus had frowned when Logan had told him there was one more important incident he had not yet shared. “It is risky keeping information from your attorney until the last moment.”

“I… I know.” Logan had hung his head, but Janus’ gut told him it was more than shame for keeping secrets from him. “I was… optimistic this wouldn’t come up. But if she’s dredging up all this…” He shook his head, glaring at the redwell of dream journals. “There’s something she doesn’t realize I know.” He swallowed hard, lips curled like he’d tasted something sour. “And I think if we push her, she might reveal it herself.”

Janus moved closer and listened.

“I told you I had a genetic screening after Virgil was born.” He looked up and waited for Janus’ little nod. “I carry the gene that caused his birth defect and…” He looked down at his hands. “Likely Kelly does, too. If we’d had more children, they would each have a twenty-five percent chance of his condition. Virgil’s had been mild, reparable.” Logan shook his head. “But seeing his tiny body cut up and hooked into tubes and monitors—” His voice cracked. “I couldn’t bear to go through that fear again, I couldn’t bear to knowingly put a tiny infant through that… or something worse. But Kelly… she wanted more kids.”

Logan finally met his eyes again. “I had a vasectomy six months after Virgil was born and never told her.”

“But, Patton—” Janus pulled out the notes with the children’s birthdates. Patton’s five and a half years younger than Virgil.

“Around when the marriage counseling… failed,” Logan sighed and set down his cup. “Kelly began working with clients all over the world and she’d…” he shrugged. “She would travel for face time with them. All throughout the year but especially the month and half after Christmas and through January, she’d be gone.” Logan hugged himself, scrunching deeper into the couch. “I… I liked the freedom. The…” he sighed and twisted his fingers in his sleeves. “The peace. It was just me and the boys and… we were happy when she was gone. I think she was, too, because when she’d return, she…” He shook his head again and sucked in a deep breath, a new tremor in his jaw.

Janus refilled his tea and pressed the cup into his hands.

He nodded a small thanks and took a sip before continuing. “The winter before Patton was born, though, she came back a different person.”

“Angrier?” Janus asked, reaching out to cover Logan’s hand.

“Kinder,” he whispered, meeting Janus’s eyes. Tears welled behind his glasses and he shrugged again. “Softer…” His face went pink and he dodged Janus’ gaze. “She was affectionate,” he said with emphasis. “Those first few weeks when she came home, it was…” He pressed his lips together, breathing hard through his nose. After a moment, he cleared his throat, breath still shaky. “It was like when we’d first started dating. Romantic, and… passionate. I thought we’d made a breakthrough, and put the past behind us. I thought she—“

Logan’s voice cracked and this time Janus squeezed his hand, imagining a thousand different ways he could destroy that fucking Karen.

“I thought she’d started to… love me again,” he finished in a thin whisper.

Janus’ stomach sank as he counted the months in his head, but he remained silent and waited while Logan drank more of his tea.

“Four weeks after she returned, she showed me the pregnancy test.” He tapped his cup, eyes fixed on the swirling green tea. “And everything went back to the way it had been. I… I tried to convince myself it had been real. And that, maybe the procedure had reversed itself. I… I even went to a fertility clinic… Was evaluated.” He shook his head and drank the rest of his tea. “It hadn’t. It’s not physically possible for me to have impregnated her that time.”

Janus had more questions than he knew what to do with, but Logan’s jaw worked like he had more to say, so he filled the silence with pouring more tea.

“Patton was born ‘early,’” he cocked his head knowingly at Janus. “And he was small relative to his brothers’ size at birth.” Logan shook his head. “But he had no lanugo, there was meconium in the amniotic sac. Fully developed. He wasn’t a preemie.” He massaged his fingers. “Patton was conceived during her trip.”

“That’s a lot for circumstantial evidence,” Janus finally said. “We’ve tried cases like that before and—“

Logan shook his head. “You saw him at the park.” Janus frowned. Surrounded by his tall, dark-haired brothers and father, Patton had stood out. “It’s his hair, his features…” Logan continued. “The only physical trait we share is—“ he tapped his eyeglasses with a wry grin. “But he’s near-sighted and I have an astigmatism, same as Virgil and Remy.”

“If you knew… All this time you knew… Why?” Janus stared at his confounding friend. “Why didn’t you say anything? You had proof of her infidelity. You… you didn’t have to care for another man’s—”

“Patton is my son in every way that matters.” Logan’s voice was fierce. “I fed him in the night and rocked him when he teethed. I picked him up held him when he cried. I taught him to ride a bike and how to read… how to solve an equation. He is my son. Whose sperm fertilized some egg is inconsequential.”

He nodded. “And I’m his father. His speech was delayed, but his first word, his only word for over a year, was ‘Daddy.’ When he was first born, he cried… so much. But he was happy in my arms. When he got older, he signed with me and with his brothers. Kelly… “ He rubbed his right wrist. “Kelly blamed his speech delays on the rudimentary signing and refused, with all of the boys.” Logan finally looked up again. “But he signed with me, his father.”

Janus had nodded and pulled out a fresh, robin egg blue folder. “Then let’s be ready to fight for your sons, no matter what she tries.”

“If I may direct the Court’s attention to Exhibits 1A and B, 2B through 2F,” Janus continued after nodding to Logan from his position before the judge. “Mr. Sanders’ and Ms. Croft’s dated marriage and divorce certificates, as well as the childrens’ birth certificates, signed by both parents and witnessed by attendants at each birth. Additionally, there is the attestment of parentage from the original divorce decree and child support agreement, notarized as signed by each party.”

He paused, and gave the judge a moment to review the documents. He did not smirk when a single drop of sweat ran down the other attorney’s temple. “Ms. Croft is more than welcome to deny the veracity of her earlier sworn statements. I would imagine there to be some sort of consequence for perjury on these documents if she attested to statements she now claims to have been false. I imagine the Office of Child Support Enforcement may require a remuneration of funds fraudulently obtained, as well.”

The judge looked up and met his eyes. She wasn’t smiling, but Janus was sure as fuck she wanted to. “Furthermore, it would appear that Ms. Croft’s new claims of parentage expose her to proven infidelity during the time of the plaintiff’s and defendant’s marriage.”

Janus turned to her attorney. “Given that, does your client have anything beyond my client’s alleged sexual orientation to preclude his ability to parent his children?” He smiled. “Because if that is your only argument, I assure you, Brett, you will have an army of ‘fruity little lawyers’ at your doorstep before you can staple the tops of your bluebacks.”

Taglist: @crossiantgay @emoprincey

Happy to add any and all who'd like to be added to this list!

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canmom · 1 year ago

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L'Aventure de Canmom à Annecy - Vendredi 1: Short Films 5

Olá from Portugal! I am recovered from travelling, and it's time to finish my Annecy writeups...

Friday I ended up waking up pretty late, all those late screenings catching up with me. I spent a while writing up Thursday in my hotel before realising that my computer clock was still on UK time. This meant I missed another chance to fruitlessly queue for Mars Express, I missed the new film Toldi by Marcel Jankovics, and I even missed Graduation Films 1 which contained the eventual winner of the category. So, rip. 仕方がない。。。

I got into Annecy just in time to catch the next block of short films. I elected to go to block 5 at Pathé because afterwards I could scoot into Bonlieu for Tunnel to Summer. More on that in a bit lol. Let's cover short films 5!

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We begin with La saison pourpre by Clémence Bouchereau from France. This one was really neat. It's traditional animation in pencil, depicting a group of people, mostly children, who live naked in the roots of a mangrove. It made great use of partial drawings, just enough to recognise you're looking a character's arm or legs or cunt or whatever, depicting the tense interactions as the nameless characters hunt, play, and find themselves threatened by a storm. The sound design is also really strong. I feel like the nudity works for this film, although I could understand having qualms. The characters' eyes are just dots, and their expressions opaque, but the context and the way the interactions are framed expresses plenty of tension and emotion. I can only guess what motivated this film, but it ended up being really absorbing.

Ce qui bouge est vivant by Noémie Marsily from Belgium was kinda eh to me. A woman's voiceover narrates an existential crisis as we get a series of disconnected images, most of which I struggle to remember now (don't do your writeups four days later lol).

D'une peinture... à l'autre was better than I expected. By this point I saw quite a few films that used a rough oil-painting like effect and a lot of them don't use it very well, but here the paintings - which depict a camera flying around through a painted world establishing (I assume) a context for the two paintings it's about, was solid.

I don't know that I really picked up on the implied contrast between the two paintings, which both depict a reclining naked white woman and a Black woman in two different poses, but I looked them up while writing this post. The first is Olympia by Édouard Manet. Here, the white woman is looking directly at the 'camera' position, and the Black woman is clearly framed as a servant; apparently this painting caused controversy at its time, partly for many symbols that suggest the white woman is a sex worker, partly because she is recognisably a well-known model at the time. The second painting is Le Blanche et la Noire by Félix Vallotton, a response to Olympia; here the Black woman is chilling on the bedside smoking a cigarette instead of trying to present flowers, regarding the sleeping woman on the bed - apparently to suggest the two women are lovers, since this pose would usually be assigned to a man. The animation in the second half progresses in a different direction (right to left rather than left to right) and reframes the scenes from the first half.

I was not familiar with either of these paintings so all I could really do in the moment was appreciate the animation. But tbh I'm kind of glad they didn't put a context card up front because that would make it feel painfully didactic. I wouldn't mind seeing this film again with more of an idea what it's getting at.

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Carne de Dios directed by Patricio Plaza, animated in Mexico and Argentina, was one of the strongest entries in this set. It depicts a priest during the colonial period; at the outset he encounters an indigenous girl running through the field with some mushrooms, which he knocks out of her hand and crushes. But, he falls ill, and finds himself in a church, where an older indigenous healer is preparing to treat him with the same mushrooms. From this point on the film goes full psychedelia; the priest dreams of the statue of Jesus on the cross turns into a giant, who devours him. Inside the guts he finds himself sucking on kaiju!Jesus's nipples and getting fisted by a giant kaiju finger (don't ask why kaiju!Jesus is inside his own stomach). It's strongly presented with traditional animation so if you enjoy ridiculous psychosexual imagery it's a fun one.

The next morning, the priest wakes up after his bad(?) mushroom trip terrified to find the healer seemingly dead; he flees from the area.

The imagery of the priest's dream is interesting, for poking at the weird sort of sex obsession-revulsion in Christianity; it's also better for the film that the priest didn't really Learn A Valuable Lesson or anything. The animation was extremely cool, and I'm definitely immensely curious to see what this team does next.

Love Me True by Inés Sedan from France depicts a woman who gets into online dating, and becomes infatuated with a man who mostly wants to take her to group sex and has very little use for her otherwise. She has a bad time; eventually she turns to other men who treat her as poorly. It's another one that uses rough paint textures and relatively limited animation, set to a voiceover narration. I think I'm coming to feel that voiceovers are a technique that is tricky to use effectively. If they're redundant with the animation, the animation should be allowed to speak for itself.

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27 by Flóra Anna Buda depicts... I think it's a daydream? But essentially a girl in a cramped family situation (her brother catches her masturbating and teases her about it cosntantly) standing at the window and then going out to have a lot of sex. It's got a highly abstracted style where everyone is big old shapes. By this point I was definitely starting to think of short films 5 as the porn block lmao.

Tongue by Yoshida Kaho flashes by in just two minutes. With a very stylised approach to drawing that's basically what they call "corporate memphis", it shows a woman who bites out tiresome mens' tongues and stores them in a box. For feminism, you know. I think it could have stood to be hornier with it, like make the tongue biting really juicy. But that would weaken the metaphor lol.

The final film was Eeva directed by Morten Tšinakov and Lucija Mrzljak from Estonia and Croatia. I needed to scoot out of the theatre early to make sure I could get into Tunnel to Summer, so I didn't see this film. I think it actually got an award so that might have been a mistake if it was really good! The description of it is...

It's pouring down with rain at the funeral. There's a lot of crying, too much wine, several woodpeckers and a couple of dreams that fill in the gaps.

...so make your own guesses as to what kind of film it was.

So, solid collection with a couple of really strong ones. From this point on the day was all anime...

#l'aventure de canmom à annecy #annecy festival #animation #film #annecy #Youtube

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