#and then you grow up and people ridicule you for being outside of the binary through adolescence

[jackklinemybeloved]

ame worlds beyond number is soooo non-binary coded To Me.

[transtalesofdoom]

The Egg Years and being Cis-Adjacent

I originally made this blog to talk about my new and exciting trans experience, so let's go do that. Long post, obviously and I just figured out how to do the Keep Reading thing

I didn't have any inherent dysphoria growing up, I was just a bit of a not-like-other-girls tomboy. Jeans were comfier than dresses, boobs and bras were sooo inconvenient, make up just meant more effort. Books and video games were more fun than going out to party. I wasn't good at dancing anyway. And don't even get me started on shaving your legs.

It became obvious to me that I wasn't strictly cis pretty much as soon as I learned that gender wasn't binary. It was common sense, really. If gender is a spectrum, very few people would actually find themselves on the very end of either side. So most people were just close enough to either end of the spectrum to consider themselves cis. Including myself.

As my understanding of gender grew, it became more and more ridiculous to assume anyone was 100% cis. There's always some criterion you don't fully meet. Of course, people could still use and identify with the label of cis, clearly there was some sort of leeway. But calling myself cis started to feel wrong. It felt like I was ignoring the very nature of gender as a vast spectrum by picking a label rooted in the binary. I was cis, but in a queer way. I started calling myself cis-adjacent when talking to other queer people.

I never had a "problem" with my assigned gender at birth, outside of the patriarchy and sexism and periods, but those weren't trans reasons to resent being a woman. Being a woman suited me well enough. I wouldn't have cared if I wasn't, if I woke up one day without boobs, I'd just go on and fit into shirts much more easily. I considered "gender-apathetic" as a label, but ultimately it felt like too much hassle for something I was indifferent about.

Really, that was what it came down to. I was close enough to being cis, I didn't have any internal problems with calling myself a woman or living as one. Sure, there probably was something more accurate for me out there, but I knew about the struggles trans people faced. A good friend of mine had come out as trans and started his transition. I was happy for him, but I also got to see the difficulties it brought to update paperwork and book appointments and constantly emailing professors about your new name and pronouns. Not to mention the whole coming out to family thing. Or transphobia. There wasn't enough suffering in me to submit myself to this much effort and misery. Or force everyone in my life to learn a new set of pronouns and name for me, irrevocably changing every single relationship I had in the process. I didn't even want to be a man anyway. Just look a little more like one.

And I could easily present pretty masculine without transitioning. I only wore pants anyway. And hoodies were super comfy. I cut my hair short more than once. I considered buying a binder, just to see what that would do for me, but every time I tried looking into it, I just got overwhelmed and, like I said, there wasn't enough suffering to justify spending 50 bucks and at least one extensive research session on it. Ironically enough, during my last year as cis-adjacent, I finally reconnected with a part of my femininity and wore dresses to special occasions again.

However, a new problem had found my body: The unstoppable passage of time. I wasn't a perky teenager anymore. My body gained weight, my boobs succumbed to gravity, and I had very little in common with what was considered a beautiful woman. Even a beautiful butch woman didn't look like me. No one beautiful looked like me, really. I told myself that I had a lot of internalized misogyny and fatphobia to unlearn. That the reason I started disliking my reflection was social conditioning. I was right about that, of course. But there was more to it that I, in my self-righteous blaming of society, didn't acknowledge.

Until the last full moon night of 2023, when my mirror reflected a ghost back at me.

[powergayser]

"home"

personal essay on ideas of home from a diaspora desi living in the U.S.

while reading “white spaces and brown traveling bodies: a project of re-working otherness” by roksana badruddoja, i began thinking of ideas of home, and what they mean to me. a portion of this paper, published in 2006, focuses on “home,” and what it means to various south asian women. the paper also discusses race and ethnicity within the context of the united states, and how these desi women are situated within it. i myself have done lots of thinking and writing on these subjects, but i have never fleshed out my ideas of “home.” 

there are many unique struggles and situations that come with growing up in a diaspora. my parents are from india. i was born in ohio. i have lived in ohio my entire life. i have gone to india many times with my mother to visit her family. my father’s family moved to america when he was eight years old, and they still live here. 

throughout my life, i have constantly been asked, “where are you from?”

people are curious. they see me, they see that i am not white, but i am also not black. in america, race is constructed on a black-white binary. those of us who exist outside of the binary have a difficult time situating ourselves within this country. others have a difficult time figuring out where to place us as well, hence the age old question, where are you from?

this question seems so innocent, but it is loaded with racism, otherness, and the idea that we do not belong here. 

when i am in a good mood, i will say that i was born in ohio, but my parents are from india. if i am not, then i simply say “ohio,” and hope that they will leave it. but sometimes, i am asked, “but where are you really from?”

what they want to know is my ethnicity, but they don’t have a way to ask that question. in these situations, i usually turn the question back around, or i flat-out say that this is ridiculous. 

perhaps this is why the idea of “home” has always confused me. from a young age, the white children and adults around me insisted that i could not be american like them, that i was something else, and i did not belong here. eventually, i stopped saying i was american. it is not a label i feel a connection to, and apparently i do not get to decide what i am, so i stopped using it to appease those around me. 

as a child, i mainly listened to bollywood, watched indian films, and hung out with my local indian community outside of school. i went to a predominantly white private school, and i did not connect very well with the children there. my mother also did not connect with any of the parents, so i rarely spent time with people at school outside of school. i did not participate in american culture very much, and did not consume american media outside of disney channel and cartoons. people made fun of me for this, or they acted as though i had committed some grave sin by not listening to taylor swift (i still wouldn’t listen to her if you paid me a million dollars). to this day, there are still many iconic pieces of american media that i have not consumed, and it still stings when people go “really? you haven’t seen that?” 

my local indian community didn’t help with this. the majority of the kids i spent time with primarily consumed american media, and had very little interest in film and music of india. 

i’m also neurodivergent, and i ended up being transgender and queer as well. as i got older, i began to drift from the indian community. i no longer keep up with any of the children i grew up with. i fear that i am too different now. most of them are pursuing careers as doctors and engineers, and i’m struggling to finish college and get my humanities degree. 

alienation was something i felt everywhere: at school, with my family, and in my indian community. i never had a solid group of friends, i never had “my people,” and i could not find my way in the world i inhabited. as an adult who moved out of his parents’ house, it has become easier, but not by much.

when i went to india in december, and informed my partner that i had arrived at my family’s house, she said “welcome home.” 

what is “home?” where is “home?” is it a tangible place that i can exist in? is it a person? or more of an abstract concept? 

in india, perhaps i do feel more at “home.” i am surrounded by a family that loves me, despite not quite understanding me and my ways (they still don’t know i’m not cisgendered anymore, and i am too afraid to tell them). i am surrounded by people who look like me. they aren’t disgusted with me for using my hands to eat. they do not question my love for indian film and music– if anything, they are delighted that i care. they do not ask me, “where are you from?” 

india feels good. but india is not home. there are so many things i love about india, but it is not home, it is a vacation. it is a trip i make with my mother, because my grandmother was bound to the house for the last 20 years of her life, and we used to go to see her. in india, i do not have a schedule, i do not have responsibilities, there is nothing for me to do there but relax, read books, and play games. 

i get bored after a while. i get restless. i become depressed and anxious. there are parts of myself that i cannot share with my family. i cannot go anywhere by myself in india. i do not know enough hindi, telugu, or marathi to get around. if i speak english, with my strange midwest-american accent, it will give me away. i do my best to keep my mouth shut when we are going around the markets and sari shops. 

these days, i see many desis online commenting on the way diaspora desis live. they claim that we are not one of them. we stumble over our words trying to speak our parents’ languages. we don’t always enjoy foods that are traditional in our cultures. we dress differently. we participate in the culture of where we grew up, rather than the culture of south asia. and so, desis from south asia like to say that we are “whitewashed,” that we have forgotten our roots, that this is a decision that we made. it’s not like there is pressure to follow the hegemonic culture and internalize it. it’s not like there are consequences when you don’t follow it. no, no one ever made fun of me for bringing indian food to school, or wearing bindis, or bangles, or my traditional clothing. 

it’s not like i, a diaspora desi living in america, have ever had any struggles at all regarding my identity as the child of immigrants and my place in american society. 

we did not ask to be born here. we did not ask to be born at all. 

america is not home, india is not home, and the shitty townhouse i moved into with my ex is not home, either. what is home? where is it? 

will i ever find it? 

[excessive-vampires]

Danger in Numbers Part 2: Exo's Award

Masterlist with CW

“It just had to be Gemar,” Alex muttered, adjusting his sunglasses. 

“Do you have something against all the colonies?” Cassie teased. 

“It’s just so fucking bright.” 

“Most people think that makes it pretty.”

Gemar was in a binary star system, and the different angles at which the light hit the planet meant that in certain places during certain seasons any prism would throw extraordinarily vibrant and distinct rainbows in every direction. This meant many public spaces were built to incorporate a lot of glass and crystal, bathing the entire area in patterns of colored light. 

“Besides,” Cassie continued. “This is where Exohive’s primary residence is.”

“They couldn’t have picked any of their other residences? Or is it important that it be the queen bee’s nest?”

“You know that’s not how it works. Besides, would you rather be on Nova?”

“Not without a haz-mat suit.” Alex glanced around. “This is almost just as bad though. There’s got to be a ton of hives here but I have no idea who they are.”

“Why does it matter?”

“What if I’m talking with someone and they turn out to be a hive?”

Cassie clenched her jaw. Mel added a little something extra stress-reducing to the already drug-filled brownies they were making and said through Cassie, “Damn, looks like you’ll just have to not be an asshole at all for one whole day.”

Alex ran a hand through his short pink hair and muttered something under his breath. 

“Hey,” Cassie said. “You didn’t have to come with me.” Sweethive had actually been disappointed when Alex had said he was accompanying Cassie. They had been looking forward to Cassie being around other hives and not having to hide for once. But he’d insisted. “You can always go back to the ship.”

“I’m not leaving someone with no self-preservation instincts alone in a city full of hives now that they can start recruiting outsiders.”

Sweethive’s patience snapped. Silas’s grip on the cold drink he’d just bought from a street vendor a few miles from Gemar’s largest public stage tightened. He had been close enough to make the journey in time and Sweethive figured if they were reconnecting with Exohive then the more the merrier. He lifted Cassie’s hand to Alex’s ear and roughly pulled him close enough to hear him whisper. “Shut the hell up before you get yourself kicked out. If you start shit here I’m not going to defend you.” 

Alex pulled away, looking momentarily angry, then he deflated. “Yeah. I’m sorry, Cassie. I just start saying shit with no filter when I’m nervous. Not an excuse, I know, but I’ll try to keep a lid on it.”

“If you’re really sorry, I’m not who it should be directed at.” That was a lie, of course. But Alex didn’t know that. Cassie tried to quicken her pace to walk away but a sting of pain in her left knee slowed her down. She grumbled a curse. 

“Cassie, whoa, slow down!” Alex sounded concerned. “You okay? Do you need your cane?” 

“I need to be able to hold this camera with both hands. It’s an extremely expensive piece of equipment and I’m using it to document something that could end up in history books.” Carter said with Cassie’s voice. “This is worth a little pain.” 

Alex had known Cassie long enough not to argue. Finally they reached the spot in front of the stage reserved for the media. Cassie scanned her temporary press badge and moved through the barrier, leaving Alex on the other side. He frowned at her. 

“I’m fine. Go. Get some food, have fun, look at the pretty colors. Don’t stay where you don’t want to be because you’re worried about me for no reason. I’m an adult, I don’t need supervision to film a medal ceremony.”

Alex gave her a look but then sighed. “You’re right, Cassie, I should trust you. I’m gonna go back to the ship and see what ridiculous touristy shit they have at the refueling station gift shop.” 

Cassie smiled. “Good luck.”

Alex smiled back and started walking away from the growing crowd. 

Cassie’s shoulders relaxed. No more pretending for now.

“Your companion seems pretty grumpy for someone on leave from a ship,” someone behind Cassie said. She turned and saw a man with clear-framed glasses and faceted clear beads adorning his dreadlocks. The color of his badge identified him as a local reporter. 

“He doesn’t do well with new things. His heart belongs to the past.” 

“And how do you like new things?”

The smile on Cassie’s face was Silas’. “There’s nothing better.” 

The man held out his hand. “Drew Findhive.”

There was only one reason a hive would introduce themselves in a casual context with a member name. Laughter from the collective left Cassie’s mouth. And Mel’s, startling a small bird from the feeder outside their open kitchen window. The rest of the members just smirked. Findhive looked confused. “You heard Alex call me Cassie, didn’t you?”

“Is that… not your name?”

“It is. My name is Cassie Sweethive.”

Findhive laughed too now. “Oh shit, we thought you were–”

“Some thrill-seeking quiet you could seduce with the mystery and exoticness of being a hive as long as you put me at ease with a singular name?” Carter commented. 

“Okay, yeah, you caught us. So, your old-fashioned friend…”

“He doesn’t know.”

“Seriously?”

“It started as a bet between us and the ship’s captain. How long would it take the rest of the crew to realize? But then we got to know Alex. He’s fun to hang out with and a mostly good friend, but like you said, he’s old-fashioned.” 

“Ah.”

The mood was dark, so Kara decided to lighten it. “Well, you weren’t entirely wrong about us. We do love a good thrill.” 

“Really?” Findhive leaned in close. “And are you open to seduction?”

Cassie bit her lower lip. “We’re actually hoping to reconnect with Exo tonight if we can. But would you be terribly offended if we wanted to exchange information as a backup plan in case they’re too busy for old flames?” 

“You know them?” Findhive’s eyes went wide. 

“We haven’t talked in years, always had more actions in common than words, if you get me.” Silas explained. 

“Hmm,” Findhive replied as they pressed a button on their wrist-screen. Cassie’s screen dinged with the incoming contact info and all of Sweethive smiled. “Would you be terribly offended if we say we hope they blow you off?” they said with a smile. 

Then the stage lit up. Both hives snapped to attention, Sweet raising their camera and Find pulling out a screen and stylus to take notes with. 

Earth’s ambassador to Gemar approached the podium, but Sweethive’s attention was fully captivated by the six members of Exohive walking up to the opposite side of the stage. Six was a lot for a hive, and one more than Exo had the last time Sweet saw them, but the addition seemed to prove lucky. Exo’s members had each dyed their hair a different color of the rainbow to match the light thrown by the stage’s many prisms. Silas laughed. Then Cassie’s eyes locked onto Rose Exohive. Orange was a good color on her. An amazing color. It made her look like she was on fire, which absolutely matched the impression given by Exo’s behavior. Carter reluctantly dragged Cassie’s eyes back to the camera screen to make sure the whole stage was still in focus. 

The ambassador’s speech was short, which Sweethive was both appreciative of and irked by. They couldn’t help but think that if that medal were going to a quiet there would be a lot more fanfare. But still, the weight of the camera was making Cassie’s arms sore by the time the ambassador was handing the medal around Carlos’ neck. The ribbon was as bright red as his hair and his smile was wide and unapologetic. 

Then there was a horribly loud crack. Silas, now at the back of the crowd, looked up so Cassie could keep filming. 

All thoughts of getting more footage left Sweethive’s collective as Silas saw the crystal tower to the right of the stage start to fall. Cassie screamed for everyone onstage to take cover. Exohive looked up and began to scramble to the edge of the stage out of the crystal spire’s path. The ambassador ran stage right and threw himself off the edge. The heavy shimmering pole crashed into the stage without crushing anyone and for a second Sweethive thought the danger was gone. Then something backstage exploded.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

This is the same with identity: As a Black person, I am constantly made to believe that being bisexual is antithetical to my identity. Being Black and out means being constantly expected to "choose" an identity and "put one first."

Even though race and sexual identity are two separate classifications, people are conditioned to believe that there is only one way of being a Black person or an LGBTQ person. The two are somehow incompatible.

It sounds ridiculous in theory, but we see the reinforcement of that belief all the time, as recently as with Andrew Gillum. That reinforcement is commonly used against Black people, but also anyone that dares to live outside of the boundaries.

The concept that someone is defined by more than just one singular identifying classification is intersectionality, coined by academic philosopher Kimberle Crenshaw in 1989. Over 30 years since, the term is increasingly popular but is still not widely recognized. People still claim that the term is inaccurate, because the recognition of each person's intersectional identity is "divisive," "ahistorical," and "shallow."

Even bisexuality itself is held to a binary. Since the suffix bi- means two, people feel that bisexuality can only mean being attracted to two genders.

This limited view of the word is often weaponized against bisexual people. "You can't like both genders," I was told growing up, "you can't go both ways at once." Other people would assume, again based on the prefix, that being bisexual must mean "dating two people at once." These are conflations that try to set a limit on how bisexuality can work.

Despite having a slight majority in population over lesbian and gay-identifying people, bisexual people are still not given credence over their own identities. Even other bisexual people, such as Amber Rose, have claimed that they aren't "comfortable" with other people's bisexuality. People are conditioned not to fully grasp concepts if they aren't in binaries, these very narrow or disqualifying definitions of the term are the most accepted understanding of bisexuality.

Just recently, we've seen that we can be Black and bisexual, male and bisexual, non-binary and bisexual, nuerodivergent and bisexual, bisexual and in a different-gender marriage, bisexual and primarily dating people of your gender - and more.

Society has always tried to enforce boundaries. Living outside of those boundaries conflicts with how we see the world.

Bisexuality is a prime example of that - the term is more than just "two," or some non-conforming way of sexuality, or some abstract concept, or a "B" in an initialism. That doesn't mean it isn't all those things, too - but that's not its limit. 

For some, bisexuality is their dual existence of heterosexual and homosexual attraction. For some, it's possessing "characteristics of both sexes," as Merriam-Webster defines it.

Someone who have dated more than one gender in the past can be bisexual, as people have done all throughout history. It could be someone's umbrella term to include those attracted to multiple genders, such as pansexual and omnisexual people. People may separate sexual attraction from emotional attraction, and only identify as biromantic - or it may be combined.

Bisexuality could simply be the "potential for romantic or sexual attraction to genders similar to one's own and dissimilar to one's own," as one academic definition explains.

It's all a spectrum. It may not make sense to you, but that's the problem - society has ingrained anything that don't fit into their boxes as nonsensical. It's not about you making sense of it, it's for us to figure out and live with.

As Kristen Stewart once said, "You're not confused if you're bisexual. It's not confusing at all. For me, it's quite the opposite."

Like anyone else, we aren't linear beings. All people are made up of different classifications - that intersect to shape our identity.

Even Rose admitted that her inability to be "comfortable" with bisexuality in others was likely an internalized issue: "Maybe I'm not secure enough to be with [bisexual men]," she said at the time. (Note that both of her comments were from over years ago.)

Maybe, if all people interrogated why they are inclined to define bisexuality - or any identity - a certain way, they could figure out why that is.

Words are binary. Humanity just is not and won't be.

[wrenhyperfixates]

Ever Since We Met

Prologue

Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: After making a bet with Odin, Loki finally has a chance to prove he is worthy of being heir to the throne. Under mysterious circumstances, you find yourself stranded on Asgard, left with no option but to team up with Loki and help him win the crown. Now posing as visiting royalty, you must be careful of rumors in court that say you’re not who you claim, all while battling your growing feelings for the raven haired king. But some things are easier said than done because secrets, you’ll soon learn, can be deadly. Chapter Summary: Before Odin leaves for Alfheim, Loki makes one final bid for the throne. A bet that has the power to alter his future. Chapter Warnings: none :) A/N: Greetings guys, gals, and non-binary pals! I am beyond excited to share this story with you! It takes place pre-Thor 1 and will update every Friday until we reach the end in about six months. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!

Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8 @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @lowkeyorlokificrecs @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @castiels-majestic-wings​ @kozkaboi @cozy-the-overlord @birdgirl90 @myraiswack​ @mythicalgarlicknot​

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⚜︎ Masterlist | Next >>

Disclaimer: Gif not mine.

Thankfully, the halls outside the throne room were empty, leaving plenty of space for Loki to pace back and forth. He never would have let his anxious energy show in front of others, but right now it was just him. The guards had gone in to announce Loki to his father, gain permission for him to enter. It was ridiculous that he couldn’t just waltz in, the prince thought. Then again, that’s all he was. A prince. Not the king.

See, Loki had been trying his whole life to prove his worth to his father, desperately attempting to show he was deserving of the throne. But nothing had worked, and whispers that Odin was going to announce his heir any day now were common throughout the kingdom. And not a single person was saying it was going to be Loki. Luckily, the younger Odinson didn’t give up so easily.

“Prince Loki,” one of the guards said with a little bow of his head as they re-emerged from the throne room. Loki immediately stopped his nervous movement and looked him in the eye. “The king will see you now.”

“Thank you, gentlemen,” Loki replied, regal as ever. “As you were.”

Taking a final gulp of air, he pushed through the heavy golden doors and walked towards Odin. As a child, Loki had always thought his father looked so imposing sitting on the throne, as if he had in his palm the fate of all people. Well, now Loki was grown, and he knew that the old man sitting in that glorified chair did hold someone’s fate. His. And if Loki wasn’t careful, Odin would crush his dreams, his destiny, without so much as batting an eye.

Loki’s heeled boots clicked on the cold floor, as if counting down the steps left before he could make his request. They were, perhaps, a bit more formal than something one might wear on a regular basis, but he figured why not dress to impress? His semi-formal cloak swooshed behind him, and he had to resist anxiously fiddling with the fabric. With his hair slicked back and combed perfectly in place, he thought he looked very princely, but if all went well, he was going to be far more than that.

“Your majesty,” he greeted Odin in the formal way he’d been taught since birth, bowing at his waist. Oh, how he so despised that part; if he had it his way, he’d never bow to anyone again. At least he didn’t have to kneel as most of the lesser nobles and commoners did.

“Rise my son,” Odin said with a wave of his hand. “Why have you felt the need for this audience so close to my departure?”

“Well, father,” Loki began. He summoned all his strength to keep up his nonchalant facade. “It has come to my attention that you have invited Thor to join you and mother on your diplomatic mission to Alfheim. An invitation, I might add, that he has accepted.”

“Yes, yes,” he yawned. “What of it? I hope you are not looking to come. The convoy is already full.”

“On the contrary, I think it best if I stay here.” Loki studied his father’s expression a moment before continuing. “To rule the kingdom.”

It was painfully silent in the near-empty throne room. And then Odin began laughing. Not chuckling, but full on laughing at his son. This was perhaps the most embarrassed Loki had ever felt, and there wasn’t even anyone else in the room. But all he wanted was to show his father he was capable of ruling. That he would make a far more competent king than his oaf of a brother. This was a critical moment, he knew, and he couldn’t let any cracks in his armor show. He kept his face completely neutral as his father slowly ceased his cackling.

“And why should I allow for that. You see, Loki, I have already chosen my successor, and it is not you,” Odin bluntly explained as Loki’s blood began to boil and hopes began to drop. Maybe this was just a nightmare, and he’d wake up to make his plea for real. No such luck. “The official announcement was going to come upon my return, but it seems cruel to keep it from you now.”

All the times Loki played this out in his head, it never went quite this poorly. Never in his wildest dreams had he been expecting Odin to admit what he already knew deep down; he’d lost. But all his training, his preparing, his effort to show that he was the one deserving of the crown, could it really be for nothing?

“Come now, my son,” Odin said when Loki took too long to reply. He wondered if his father was trying to have a comforting tone. If he was, he was failing miserably. “You always knew I would have to pick one of you. That only one of you could take the mighty throne of Asgard.”

Yes, but I should be the victor, Loki thought, ignoring the tears pricking the back of his eyes. The last thing he would do was cry in front of the Allfather. Especially when he still had a chance to make this work in his favor. All he had to do was keep it together for the next fifteen minutes and alter his argument a little. If Odin was taking drastic measures, maybe that’s what he had to do, too.

“I do not think you should act so rashly, father,” Loki spoke up, voice impressively even. “After all, you have yet to hear my proposition.”

“And what might that be? Speak, son, and tell me.”

“Let me rule Asgard while you are gone. If I do well, you wait to make your decision on who will be your heir, allow me to continue to compete for the crown.”

The old king laughed again, not as loudly as before, but just as unkindly. “Why would I do that? I see no way in which this benefits me.”

“On the contrary, as a prince, I would have the right to plead my case to the Allmother if you took me out of the running. It would be a long, tedious process if you had to go through all the right channels to prove my brother is better suited for the kingship. And then again, they might not even find that he is. Or I could even challenge Thor for the crown, if it comes down to it. Such scandal to mark the end of your reign would be a shame, do you not agree?” He paused for dramatic effect, and to let the words sink in. “However, should I do poorly on the throne, I would have no argument to make, and would back down peacefully.”

The tension was so thick, Loki was tempted to whip out one of his daggers to try to cut it, and give himself room to breathe. But even the subtlest of movements would give way to an accusation of weakness, so he stood where he was, his piercing gaze staring into his father’s one eye, waiting for him to speak. Odin tapped his fingers on the arm of his throne, mulling over the very thinly veiled threat. By the time the king was opening his mouth to speak, Loki felt ready to scream.

“Very well,” he finally conceded. “But your success will be according to my terms. There are three things a good king needs. The first is the respect of those he rules. The second, fear and awe of his enemies and allies alike.”

Loki’s eyes flitted down for the briefest of seconds before looking up with renewed confidence. “And the last?”

“Worthiness,” Odin continued, standing up and walking down the steps, “to have the crown on his head.”

More eagerly than he would have liked, Loki nodded. He was certainly clever enough to figure out a way to prove he had each of those. It seemed that his silver tongue had not failed him today. But before he could say he accepted the terms, Odin had one last stipulation to add.

“You may not set foot out of the kingdom. Everything must run smoothly while you are here. Is this understood?”

“Yes, father, it is. And you will not interfere with my reign,” Loki replied, distrusting something about the look in the old man’s eye. “So then, do we have a deal?”

He considered for a moment more. “Yes, we do. From the moment I leave tomorrow until the second I return, you will be acting king of Asgard.”

“Thank you, father. You will not regret this,” Loki said, bowing again before leaving.

Whether he left before his father could say anything or if he never planned to at all, Loki wasn’t sure. It hardly mattered anymore. Now, his future was nearly set, for certainly he was already admired to some degree, right? Or even if he wasn’t, he’d been preparing for this day his whole life, studying his father. He knew how to be king, and he’d be damned if he let anything ruin this opportunity.

After a fitful night of sleep, Loki saw his family and their entourage off at the Bifröst. True, he was more than eager for them to leave already, but he did his best to mask it. After all, his eagerness may be mistaken for arrogance, and that was no way to start his reign.

“Alright, brother. I bid thee well,” Thor said, clapping him on the back. As far as Loki was aware, neither he nor anyone else knew of the specifics of the bet that had been made, save for his mother and Heimdall, who had been tasked with keeping an eye on him. “Do not get too comfortable on the throne, though.”

“Good luck, my son. I have every confidence in you,” Frigga said, cupping his cheeks.

Loki looked to Odin for him to speak some final words of parting. When he didn’t, Loki said, “Thank you, brother, mother. I wish you all safe travels and shall be awaiting your return.”

He waited until they disappeared into the rainbow lights and, with a nod in Heimdall’s direction, headed back towards the palace. The throne. Almost reverently, he circled it once before sitting down. Feeling perfectly pleased with himself, Loki didn’t even notice the bright flash of light in the distance. Nor what came with it.

[midground]

Not to sound old, but I’m going to have a “kids these days” moment. I feel like when I was growing up, the older queers I knew put a big emphasis on taking the time you needed to figure yourself out and try out labels to see what worked. My queer identity has been evolving and changing for over 15 years. I feel like I’m still figuring stuff out about myself, and while it’s sometimes exhausting (you ever had to come out about like 6 or 7 different identities?) and sometimes frustrating (I’m almost 30, how am I STILL learning about new facets of myself?), I never felt like I was doing something wrong by learning about myself at my own pace. My gender and sexuality is and has always been a journey, not a destination. 

But these days, I feel like younger queers put a lot of pressure on themselves and each other to know all their labels perfectly and never get them “wrong”. It feels like nobody is telling anyone that it’s ok to try a label out just to see how it fits. Trying labels out helped me immensely, both when I was younger and like... 2 years ago when I was working out my gray-aromanticism. 

The very first thing I came out as was bi (in the early 2000s sense, where being bi meant you were into men and women) and each time I used that label for myself, I was able to pinpoint a little bit better that it wasn’t right for me. So a few months later I came out as a lesbian. A few years later, as I was figuring my gender out, I ditched lesbian because I didn’t identity as a woman anymore. And all of that was ok. 

I mean, some of the labels that I use now didn’t even EXIST 10, 15 years ago. I felt nonbinary long before the term nonbinary came into the public consciousness. And I used androgynous for a few years because it was the best word I had encountered before I discovered agender.

It feels like there are exponentially more labels today then there were when I was growing up, and that “kids these days” are using that wealth of nuance and expression to restrict each other rather than free each other. I’ve been working on a tabletop game recently about (among other things) being nonbinary, and I CONSTANTLY encounter people who are like “I want to be in your playtest, but I don’t ID as Nonbinary, I just have some kind of feelings about gender, so I don’t know if your game is For Me” as though the word nonbinary isn’t just shorthand for “having some kind of feelings about gender”. But people seem to think of it as Capital N Nonbinary instead of lowercase n nonbinary, like an Official Label instead of just a catchall for the plethora of genders that exist outside of the gender binary, and so people are afraid of taking up space not meant for them because they don’t personally ID as Nonbinary. (Which is, in my humble opinion, ridiculous.)

When I was younger, I heard “sexuality is a spectrum” “gender is a spectrum” “gender and sexuality are fluid” a LOT. We didn’t have as many labels, and things were confusing and messy, but also forgiving and exploratory. Now it’s all so rigid.

(And I can’t help but feel like the rise of gatekeeping in queer spaces and T*RF rhetoric is a huge component of that. When you claim that one group of people simply existing and living their truth “takes away” from another queer identity, you can also claim that trying out a label “takes away” from that queer identity as well. Like somehow there’s a finite amount of lesbianism in the world that’ll get used up if too many people ID as a lesbian and then move on from it later.)

I don’t know. I can’t really do anything about people who are going to get mad that some poor 14 year old hasn’t figured out ever single thing about their gender and sexuality by the end of their first year of high school. But I can say this: No matter how old you are, if you are still figuring yourself out, you have my permission to try that label (or those pronouns) out. Just try it out! And if it doesn’t work, put it aside and try a new one. Or don’t! You don’t have to do labels at all. Be kind to your friends when they want to try something out too. And let them move at their own pace.

The labels exist to help us express ourselves. Or at least they should. They don’t exist to arbitrate what kind of feelings we’re allowed to feel or how we’re allowed to feel them. And they CERTAINLY don’t exist to divide us out into separate little boxes. We all exist under the same umbrella. And just to be 100% crystal clear, my big queer umbrella includes asexuals and aromantics as well. And if you don’t like to use the word queer for yourself, you are welcome to think of it as a big LGBTQIA umbrella instead.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

When Amazon's version of Good Omens was first unleashed on the masses, a Christian group in America asked thousands of followers to petition Netflix and ask them to cancel the show. Netflix, not Amazon...

Clearly, Return to Order made a mistake of biblical proportions, and we're not just talking about the target of their wrath either.

Listed among their many objections was the show's portrayal of the first humans and the fact that God is voiced by a woman. Funnily enough though, one of the biggest mistakes the group make in this long list of ridiculous statements is their claim that the "angel and demon are good friends".

If the friendship between Aziraphale and Crowley upset them this much, just imagine what they'd think if they realised Good Omens is actually a "love story", as defined by Neil Gaiman himself.

Fans have been shipping the "Ineffable Husbands" ever since Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's book was first published back in 1990. Throughout its six-episode runtime, the show expands on this even further through the chemistry shared by its two leads, Michael Sheen and David Tennant.

Tender moments such as when Aziraphale covers Crowley with one of his wings have led to copious amounts of fan fiction which portray them both as a couple. Sister Mary and even a random passerby make similar assumptions about them at various points on the show. However, attempts to label their relationship as canonically queer are more difficult than they might initially seem.

When asked directly if Crowley and Aziraphale are in a gay relationship together, Gaiman told a fan online that, "They're an angel and a demon, not male humans."

At first, that might seem like a cop-out. After all, the pair are depicted as male, even if they're not in the human sense, and queer baiting is a real issue. Certain scenes in Good Omens certainly read as flirty, and far too often, the LGBTQ+ community are forced to read between the lines or label characters themselves in the absence of overt and meaningful representation.

During a recent interview, we asked Gaiman if he'd considered making this "love story" explicit or more concrete on screen to rectify that. Surely, this would have been the perfect opportunity to canonise these elements of the original text while updating it for modern times?

Gaiman said no, not really, referring back to a line in the book which says, "Angels are sexless unless they specifically make an effort."

He went on to say, "I like the idea that we know Crowley and Aziraphale don't really... these are two ethereal and occult beings who aren't really quite clear on what mammals are about, even. I don't really think that they've sussed complicated human things like gender."

On the one hand, it's easy to see why some fans have interpreted comments like this as an excuse designed to deflect criticism and avoid featuring actual queer characters in the text. However, this particular situation is actually more complicated.

In recent years, a surprising number of authors and screenwriters have declared that their characters are canonically queer, even when there's no mention of it in the original text. JK Rowling is a key offender here, regularly announcing that her books are more diverse than they actually are in a patronising bid to appease the LGBTQ+ community.

Crowley and Aziraphale are more obviously queer than most of these characters who were retroactively altered post-release. Sheen's character in particular is coded with elements of the Victorian Dandy lifestyle which acted as a clear precursor to modern queerness in both fashion and outlook. Still, confirming a sexual relationship between the pair on screen would ultimately rewrite what's considered canon in the book.

That's not to say the pair don't love each other. Gaiman has confirmed more than once that Crowley and Aziraphale are in love, but labels like gay, bi or even pansexual don't quite fit in this instance.

In our interview, Gaiman clarified that their story arc in the show uses "all of the beats of a love story" to make it "purer and more fun".

"Watching them meet, watching the relationship grow, watching the ups and downs of it, watching the huge breakup in the bandstand in episode three, and then watching what happens to them after that."

The idea is that Crowley and Aziraphale don't have sexual desires in the same way humans do because they weren't created for reproductive purposes. Therefore, their love is portrayed as strictly platonic.

Understandably, a number of queer fans have taken offence at this, seeing Gaiman's treatment of these characters as erasure, but comments the author made during a recent Twitter exchange flip that idea on its head entirely.

By saying he "wouldn't exclude the ideas that they are ace [asexual], or aromantic, or trans," Gaiman is actually suggesting that Crowley and Aziraphale could represent areas of sexuality that are all too often ignored both outside and also within the LGBTQ+ community.

Even acknowledging that the ace spectrum exists is rare indeed, and comments from Twitter users below this exchange highlight just how validating this can be. Platonic love can be just as deep as romantic love, so why does sexual desire need to be used as proof that love each other?

Asexual relationships are almost non-existent on screen, so the idea that Crowley and Aziraphale could represent this spectrum is actually far more groundbreaking than people often give Good Omens credit for.

Of course, labels are hugely important and the fight to see them used in this particular context is understandable. However, if Gaiman ever did decide to define the central love story as gay or trans or ace, then that would also trample over other readings which actually mean a lot to more marginalised members of the queer community.

At its heart, Good Omens is all about dismantling binary notions of morality and gender, and however you might want to label them personally, Gaiman has always maintained that Crowley and Aziraphale are in love, no matter what form that might take.

Both the book and the show are undeniably queer in this respect, whichever way you look at it, so this might be the rare instance where it's better to not define what this queerness might entail and instead just celebrate our "heroes" for what they are. Ineffable and in love.

[feminisedlad]

nb tumblr, a screenplay

me: so you think we should broaden our ideas about non-binary people

tumblr user im making fun of: yes, absolutely. have you ever noticed how people use ‘non-binary’ to mean ‘white skinny hairless androgyne’? its fucked up

me: i agree, that is fucked up. and you also agree that we shouldnt assume things about non-binary people based on their birth assignment?

tumblr user: yes, absolutely. whether or not someone was assigned male or female is irrelevant. in fact the very question is basically a woke way of asking non-binary people what they have in their pants

me: yeah i agree, thats pretty fucking irritating (especially because agab does not necessarily correlate to whats in your pants, but i assume youre as neurotic and overly-online as me enough to get that without us needing to be explicit)

tumblr user: (yes, i agree, we’re both that neurotic)

me: cool. so with that in mind, whats that post youre wriitng

tumblr user: well i want to support non-binary people who fit outside the norm. you know, those of us who have a lot of body hair, or who are tall and broad, or -

me: hmm i think i see where youre going with this. youre not just gonna say “AMAB nbs” and call it a day, are you?

tumblr user:

me: because AMAB non binary people arent a monolith, and if they were, characterizing that monolith as “hairy + male passing” would probably be pretty fucking cruel

tumblr user: well ok but thats not-

me: also AFAB people can have body hair? and be tall or broad? i mean many nonbinary people go on testosterone, but also youre aware that AFAB people can grow body hair, right? 

tumblr user: why are you being so fucking pedantic? i was just trying to spread some positivity for AMAB non binary people, holy shit. obviously im not saying theyre all hairy or broad-shouldered or whatever, but like... some of them are! and we should respect them!

me: yeah no shit! but some nonbinary people are hairy and tall and broad and theyre Not AMAB!

tumblr user: yeah but ...... ugh you know what i meant though! obviously theres minute exceptions but generally when ppl shit on nb folks who look like dudes, theyre shitting on amab nonbinary people. its about numbers. no one wants to write a million caveats into their one-off positivity posts

me: yes, but as a nonbinary person who both looks like a dude, dresses femininely, and gets shit on anyway -- like, my AFABness doesn’t save me from the social ridicule or rejection i receive -- i think that posts like yours imply a bunch of weird shit about assigned gender that isnt even true all the time! especially in trans spaces! we shouldnt associate ‘AMAB’ with ‘masculine’ and ‘AFAB’ with feminine! its just reinventing gender! fuck, its not even REINVENTING gender, its just....gender! its the same gender! like these are the same genders we already had. and we’re talking about non-binary people! isn’t that a problem to you? don’t you find it convenient that our discourse still assumes the same tired cliche tropes about people based on birth assignment? that “afab = weak whiny hairless baby” and “amab = huge hulking loner who needs extra support and pity”?? isnt that a depressing and ghoulish idea of gender freedom?

tumblr user:

tumblr user: ok but as a TME person you should shut up and kill yourself

me: (already undergoing radiation poisoning and growing mushrooms on my back)

[crystal-moon-101]

My redesigns for this popular trio!

The Secret Generator 10 (Or Celebrity Trio but that doesn’t really work for me because of Zak...) I’ve been meaning to get around to doing this, since I am really fond of these three boys. With Zak and Rex both being part of my top two shows of all time. Sorry Ben....

-Zak Saturday-

He was the most fun working with. His warm colour palette isn’t something I work with often, but I think I did alright. He also as some small details you might notice, like the fangs, eyes and scales.

Notes:

14 Years Old

5′5 (Will only grow to be 5′8. Which confuses him since both sides of his family have very tall genes. Ulraj pokes fun at him, saying all that height is going towards his ‘Kur Form’)

Dead on the inside.

Aggressively Pansexual

His human side has been growing reptilian features. Noticeable fangs, scales growing around his lower neck, around his chest and upper back/shoulders, pure orange eyes with pupils that can become thin slits and a slight forked tongue. 

Even also displays some reptile behaviour. E.g, soaking up sunlight on a rock, alert nature, able to stand still as a statue. (He’s done these things since he was young. His parents just thought it was something he picked up from Komodo.)

The light that forms around his eyes when using his powers have darkened the skin around his eyes. (Suggested by my friend)

He is oddly thin and lanky, but it’s often hard to see because of the baggy clothes he wears.

That being said, he’s a lot stronger than you think he is. Can easily lift people twice his size.

Constantly has to get new hair ties. They keep breaking because 1. Every time his powers cause all of his hair to flow, the tie snaps. 2. Working out in the wild, it keeps getting snagged by tree branches or slipping off when he tumbles downhills.

While quiet and casual outside of battles, he will become a lot like his mother on the field.

Has freckles from his maternal side. His mother doesn’t have them, but Doyle does.

Will casually mention his ridiculously and scary adventures like they’re nothing, not because he’s bragging, but because he truly doesn’t understand what normal really is.

So use to being grabbed by the scruff of his shirt that he will always go limp when you grab him like that, much like a baby animal. 

While he can act very eerie and strange, he’s a very sweet and understanding guy. 

That being said, he can be hella scary when he wants to be.

Don’t mess with his family or he will send an army of Grootslangs to your house.

Still trying to figure out his placement in life and what Kur was really meant to be.

After being taught by his family and uncle, he went to Tsul 'Kalu to be his new mentor.

-Rex Salazar-

I think I changed him the least, but I added extra details and made his shirt, pants and shoes into a one-piece suit. It always baffles me how he can pull off this colour scheme so well.

And while I didn’t draw it here. I would definitely make his pure EVO form a lot smaller. Make him come across more like a monstrous zombie robot thing. The reason why is because those EVO forms he had just felt like they belonged to different shows, like transformers. A more creature design would fit better, I feel.

Notes:

16 Years Old

6′1 (Will grow to be 6′5. Yeeeeeee, he’s a big guy.)

Lady killer~

Best wingman and even offers pretend dates to help you.

Can always hear and feel the technology around him. Strange to everyone else, but he’s learnt to live with it. Even comes in handy when trying to find a good wifi connection.

Knows when to cut the bullcrap.

He does have a bit of a science brain, but he uses it differently than his family had.

Constantly jumping between worlds. Sometimes even tossed by someone.

Talks in his sleep, mostly reciting nanite binary coding.

Lonely lad and child solider, great mix, right?...

Goes all out with holidays. He once, somehow, got real snow in Providence. No one knows how to this day.

Hates lightening.

Has nearly called Holiday and Six mum and dad multiple times.

Has a lot more abilities he has yet to discover. (Including turning people EVO.)

Never asked for any of this, but, eh, what ya gonna do

Is always overexcited when doing normal things. (Werids out Noah a lottt.)

You’re endangered if he decided to use his full raw power. (Key signs to look out for is a large amount of circuit patterns covering him, glowing eyes, tips of his hair glowing too, sharp metal growths and technology around you flashing like crazy.)

Loves Imagine Dragon.

Sharp eyelashes.

Just wants hugs, give him hugs!

Always frustrated when someone from his past tries talking to him about the past. Sometimes he wonders if people forget.

Skilled drawer and smooth singer.

Has an EVO pet (Her name is Siri, Btw)

Some have compared him to being a living, breathing nanite. 

Eager to have family game nights! “Poker doesn’t count, Bobo...”

Once had a malfunction, his whole body was out of wack. (Noah laughs about it and even has some recordings, much to Rex’s dismay.)

Has a civilian outfit that Noah put together. (He refuses to take off his goggles, however.) 

-Ben Tennyson-

Now, I already made a redesign for him, along with Gwen, Julie and Kevin (Both for teen and kid versions). I used the same look, just adjusted some details and colours.

Notes:

15 Years Old

5′9 (And he stays that height. He peaked in height very young, but stop growing quickly. This does annoy him.)

Dumbass with bad impulse control.

Even he’s confused by how he keeps attracting women.

Had a rather lonely childhood with many bullies. (It’s why he often seeks attention, he’s afraid of being alone and forgotten again.)

It’s also what made him jealous of Gwen when they were young. Most treated her like the better of the two.

Pretty crap at sharing his feelings. He would rather play it off as a jerk, then go and drown himself in smoothies...

A secret momma’s boy. “Benny Bear” As his mother likes to call him.

Has an interesting dynamic with Azmuth. Despite their arguments, they balance each other well. Others have even seen them taking care of each other (Almost like father and son), but the pair will always deny this and say it’s ‘strictly’ professional.

 Surprisingly great with kids. (This was truly noticed when seen around his 14 baby chills.)

In the future, he will have a nasty wound on the battlefield, which will result in the Omnitrix becoming his new arm and merging with him.

When he takes thing seriously, you know shits going down!

Has a german shepherd name Boston.

 Likes to call Vilgax ‘Calamari’.

Has grown to be close to most Tennyson members. (E.G Camille, who was actually his babysitter after she joined the family.)

He doesn’t like peacocks after...an incident at the zoo. His mother still apologizes to this day.

Decent singer and very skilled at the guitar. 

Has picked up combat moves from Tetrax.

Has always felt like he’s nothing without the watch. Others have said otherwise.

He knows how to speak certain alien languages, Galvan being one of them.

His schedule is a nightmare, because something is always popping up that involves him. This means he sometimes forgets to eat, sleep or even wash. It’s why he’s often caught napping.

Sometimes wonders if he’s human or alien at this point, maybe something else entirely. 

Very soft poofy hair.

Is hated by almost all his villains. He just loves pissing them off.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Hi, I saw you posted a meme referring to what is happening in the Harry Potter fandom. You seem really open minded and educated so I was wondering if you would be willing to explain what exactly happened there? I’m just a little confused how it escalated. Thank you in advance!

Ooooh I am not the expert on Rowling's transphobic history but I will say this - JKR is deeply transphobic and it's come up in the past.

Recently, she accidentally copied & pasted transphobic bullshit into a tweet reply she was writing to a young fan. While she deleted the tweet, people saw it, asked about it, and she flipped out.

She dug herself a nice hole of being a TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist, ie feminists who are transphobic).

Then, I want to say... Last week, although time is meaningless in this Year of Our Lord 2020 the Plague Year so I'm not sure... She saw an article that referred to "people who menstruate" and went on a FUCKING TEAR of awful bigotry about it, threw her transphobic bullshit around like confetti, dug her own grave deeper and deeper on the subject. She filled out the "how to not respond to people who challenge the misinformation you have bought into" bingo card.

Then, in what she seemed to think would help in some way, she posted a ridiculous essay "defending" her viewpoint by spouting the same hideous unfounded discriminatory lies that have always been fed about any group seeking equal representation and justice under the law. She managed to cram some serious damaging ableism into the essay too while she was at it.

None of this is... inherently surprising. JKR has been proving herself like this for a long time. But it seemed a bit like she realized no one was looking at her for five minutes and decided to have a tantrum and hurt/damage trans people for funsies.

Multiple other authors (Rick Riordan, Tamora Pierce, etc) have put out statements supporting the trans community or, in Riordan's case, put out a call for recommendations of works to pick up by trans and non-binary authors or books that featured trans and nb characters that helped showcase some underrepresented writers to bookworms everywhere.

And hey, if it's not utterly clear already what my position is, let me say this:

Trans men are men.

Trans women are women.

NB people are outside the binary, and I won't hear a word otherwise.

You are who you are regardless of how the bigots of the world want to define you.

You are yourselves utterly and completely and deserve every recognition of the incredible courage that assholes like JKR do not recognize in you.

I am sorry for the people who loved HP as kids and young adults and have been so hurt by its author. You did not and could never deserve that, I know how influential and formative a book series you love can be when you're growing up.

If you read this and think you want to send me something supporting JKR, repeating anti-trans talking points, or whatever... please don't. Please please don't.

I will not publish them and give a platform to damaging discriminatory thoughts that hurt people I love. I will not give that a platform here.

To my trans and nb friends and readers... I got your back. I care about you. I know who you are is more important than how any world might want to define you, and you matter to me.

This blog is a place that has a welcome mat out for you.

[yikesharringrove]

what do you think about a crossdressing Steve? Maybe he started just liking the soft fabrics of his mom's clothes but then he started wearing them as a way to attempt to hold on to the feigned affection she gave him. Eventually he just got his own stuff because they helped him feel calmer, softer. He would only ever put them on when he believed he would be alone for a while to cook or do chores... And then one day Billy comes over. Do with it what you will.

So, maybe you wanted smut, but non-binary femme presenting Steve is a ridiculously big headcanon I have that I have talked about with several folks and will be included in the next big fic I roll out, so this is some Soft Shit bc I wanted an excuse to write Steve as non-binary femme presenting.

For some drag queen Steve, I got a little thing here.

This exact kinda character study of sorts has actually been in my drafts for like, a month, so I’ve incorporated some of it into this. It's modern, and there is some language that may be harmful, so PLEASE be careful with yourselves, no slurs or anything along those lines, just ignorant stuff. Also, this really went off the rails at the end, I’m Sorry.

Thank you for sending an ask!

Read on ao3!

When Steve was a little kid, he always preferred playing with the girls.

They would have clothes for dress-up, princess dresses, and pirate costumes, anything any child could want. They had wigs, makeup, crowns. Little girls also had babydolls, little pretend kitchens he would play in, plastic baby bouncing at his hip.

When his nanny would come to pick him up from Carol’s house, she would have wipes in the car, to clean off his face. Your father will be very disappointed if he sees you playing with girls’ things again, Steven. He learned very quickly that playing dress-up, wanting to be Mommy when playing house, those are not things little boys did.

He remembers fighting with his parents, when they found the little plastic case of goopy lipglosses Carol had let him keep. He was seven years old and was crying, had screamed as loud as he could that if little boys weren’t allowed to play with makeup, then maybe I don’t want to be a boy.

When his parents started leaving him more often, their absences growing longer the older he got, he began going into his mother’s things, trying on her clothes. He was twelve when he first learned that women’s clothes were made of finer materials, were softer, felt like butter against his skin. He was thirteen and would slip into designer dresses each night, learning makeup from YouTube tutorials, practicing with things left in his mother’s vanity and whatever he could discreetly put in his pockets at Meldvald’s.

He got pretty good. Good enough that at sixteen, he wanted more, would go to stores in Indianapolis, would spend his allowance on dresses, skirts, blouses, frilly little things that fit, that made him feel good, correct.

The first time he put on a pair of lacy panties, he almost cried. the material was soft, the cotton tight and nice against him, the delicate lace trimming the waist and legs was pretty. Steve realized, all he ever wants to be in his life is pretty.

He began thinking of himself as a girl, a young woman. He would tuck his dick back, make the space between his legs flat, let his hair grow out more, long enough to braid, to pin with floral clips.

He started dressing up, going out. Finding bars that would let him in if he batted his false eyelashes just so, would overlook his obviously fake I.D. so that he could go in, talk to men that were too old for him, too interested in his doe eyes, his soft cheeks, men that would buy him drinks, fuck him in the back seats of their cars, whisper about how pretty he looked, men that would touch his cock and coo that his pussy was so tight.

He found he didn’t like that but would grit his teeth, didn’t understand why wearing women’s clothes felt so right but the idea of having a women’s body felt wrong. He didn’t get why he felt the most himself, the most comfortable with his dick tucked up in lace panties, but the minute a man told him he was a good girl he felt sick. 

When he was seventeen, he stopped going out, stopped dressing up. He had Nancy now, a beautiful young woman who wanted a nice, regular young man. He almost told her, almost told her so many times, but then she was drunk, slurring in his face that he was bullshit, that he was fake, like he didn’t already know.

So he kept to himself, started dressing up again, putting on a full face, a delicate outfit the minute he got home. He would dance around while cooking diner, would float around the house in heels and sweeping dresses. They made him feel better, feel good. He would dress up on particularly bad days, would wear his most beautiful pieces when he got poor grades, when his father told him he was a disappointment over the phone. He had been informed today by his English teacher she had assigned him a tutor.

So he had blinked back tears while blending eyeshadow, had put on his prettiest dress, a pretty dark green number, the fabric light, delicate feminine. He was ready to wallow in self-pity and makeup when there was a knock on the door, followed by the voice of his something-like-a-friend Billy Hargrove, announcing with a laugh that you should REALLY start lockin’ your front door, Harrington. Wouldn’t want someone UNSAVORY comin’ in.

Steve was frozen in the kitchen, his best-kept secret all over his face, his body. Billy didn’t even blink twice when he saw Steve, asked what’s cookin’? while leaning over the stove. Steve’s eyes were screwed shut, breathing fast when Billy looked back, took Steve’s shoulder lightly in his hands said, you need to breathe, Sweet Thing, take it slow, match me. He rubbed gently down Steve’s arms, his eyes clear blue when Steve was able to open his own teary ones.

“Billy, you need to swear to me you won’t tell, you, I, people can’t know. They’ll, I mean, I know I’m a fucking freak but no one-”

“Whoa, who said you’re a freak?” Billy’s eyes were sharp.

“Look at me, Billy. I’m, I don’t know what I am. Sometimes, sometimes I wish that I was a girl, but, but something about that feels just, bad, but, but being a fucking boy feels like shit too, and I just,” he was sobbing, loudly and openly, knew his dark liner was no doubt streaming down his face.

“Hey, that’s okay, Honey, you don’t have to know. You just have to feel good.” He led Steve in a few more breaths. “It’s not black and white, you don’t have to be one or the other. You can just be you. Can be Steve, if you want.”

“What-I don’t understand.”

“Well, you don’t feel right as a boy, but you feel just as not right as a girl. There’s more than that. You have more options.” He turned off the stove, led Steve to his bag, whipping out a laptop covered in worn stickers. “So basically, there’re a whole bunch of genders.” He pulled up an infographic on his screen, a color-coded mess of columns and descriptions. “There’s way more than man and woman. There are people who are non-binary, don’t adhere to the idea of two genders. Sometimes non-binary people identify as another gender, a third gender, sometimes they identify as a mixture of identities. Agender people often identify as having no gender at all. genderfluid people tend to fluctuate between identities, can feel agender one day, the next feel like a man, it all depends on the person.” He looked at Steve, hand gentle on his arm. “And none of it’s wrong. There’s no correct way to be a human. And they each are up to interpretation. There are people who identify as agender but choose to present a certain way, there are people who identify as male but choose to present androgynous, there’s no one way to do it.”

“So if I, if I feel good like this,” Steve gestured to the dress, the smeared makeup. “I can still be, a guy, like I can just be a guy that likes to look like a girl.”

“If that feels best to you. Like I said, you don’t have to  be a guy, just because that’s what you were assigned at birth.”

“What do you mean? ‘Assigned at birth’?”

“That means the gender that’s on your birth certificate. It’s just a better way of saying like, male-bodied, since that can be, kinda shitty for people. And like, what even is a male body, you know?”

“You’re getting a little introspective for me here, Bill.”

“Basically, just because you were born with a dick and a doctor was like, it’s a boy, doesn’t mean you have to be a boy that likes looking like a girl, or whatever you said. That’s a perfectly valid way to be, a femme presenting guy, don’t get me wrong, but earlier you said you didn’t feel right as a boy, and I just don’t want you to back yourself into a corner.” Steve blinked.

“Yeah, I think, I think you’re right. I don’t, I’m not a guy. I don’t think.”

“You do not have to know right now. You literally just learned about this, you don’t have to like immediately make a choice. Take some time. Try different labels, try different pronouns, try no labels, see what feels best.” He smiled, looking at Steve softly. “If you want to, I can, like, help you. If you, if you think of something you want to try, it may be nice to, like, hear it from someone else.”

“What was, what was the one that was like, sometimes people identify as like, another gender?” Billy typed away, pulling up a new article.

“I think you mean non-binary. It’s more of an umbrella term to some people, they find more leeway in it.” He scrolled down, pointing at a list of pronouns. “So, some people who identify as non-binary also use alternative pronouns, things like they or ze, which is a way for them to be referred to outside of the gender binary.” Steve’s mind was racing. He tested the words on his tongue, thinking ze, sie, hir to himself, to, themself?

“But if I identify, as, as non-binary, or something, can I still, like, dress like this?”

“Of course. Identity and expression are two different things. To some, they go hand-in-hand, but to others, they can be totally separate.”

“I think, as of right now I think non-binary is okay.” Billy beamed.

“Okay! You don’t have to decide right now, and some folks never decide, they spend their lives flowing through different ways to identify and express themselves, and again, that’s totally fuckin’ okay. Nothing has to magically click into place for you. You can experiment.”

“Can I, can we experiment with, with they. I kinda, it kinda makes sense.” Billy just kept grinning, his smile huge and beautiful.

“Yes, I can do that.” But his face fell, “But I, I mean, this is fuckin’ Hawkins, and I don't’ know, I mean, is it, like safe?” Steve felt like their heart was breaking.

“No, it’s, I don’t think it is, I mean, there haven’t been like incidents but also, we don’t have a lot of people that are, like, openly different.” Billy’s brow was drawn.

“I can, I can call you whatever you want just the two of us, but, I don’t want to like, out you-”

“You can, you can say he was it’s, when it’s other people. I don’t, I don’t want this to get back to my dad, or anything.” Billy’s eyes were sharp.

“I can do that, I can protect you, like that.” He was nodding vigorously. “I just, I wanted to be on the same page, didn’t want to be like misgendering you behind your back and make you feel like shit.”

“You have my express permission to, uh, misgender me, or whatever you just said.” Steve sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “I just gotta get outta this fuckin’ town, man. Then I’ll be good. Live my little queer life outside of the shitty bar outside of town.” Billy laughed.

“You go there?”

“I used to, when I was first kinda, questioning myself. Used to let guys fuck me and call me, like, their pretty little slut or whatever. Not my finest moments.”

“Christ, Stevie. That’s some deep shit. I went once when I first got into town, and some guy was like, I wanna hear you screaming ‘Daddy’ for me and I was like, nope. No thank you to That.” Steve laughed with him.

“I’m pretty sure I did let that guy fuck me. Bily groaned.

“Stevie, no. Don’t call random men Daddy.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, Bill, I got a lot of daddy issues.”

“Yeah, me too, but not that many.”

“Just enough to be called Daddy, then?” Billy went red, dropped his eyes from Steve as they cackled. “Hit the nail on the fuckin’ head then, didn’t I?”

“Whatever, you little asshole. Let’s just fuckin’ get on with your English homework that is why I’m here after all. Go grab your books.” Steve grinned, leaning in close to Billy.

“Okay, Daddy,” they purred, racing off up the stairs laughing loudly, hearing Billy cursing them out from the kitchen.

[lunarimagines]

SEOKJIN AS YOUR SUGAR DADDY

you had jokingly made a tinder account looking for a sugar daddy after your friend had told you they’d found a sugar daddy on the site a few months prior

honestly you thought it was a waste of time until you found Kim Seokjin

he was someone who exuded more confidence and wealth than you’d ever seen

so of course you swiped right

even if he didn’t swipe right on you too at least you’d shot your shot

BUT HE DID SWIPE RIGHT ON YOU AND HOLY SHIT WERE YOU UNPREPARED

Jin was so nonchalant when he first messaged you about what being your sugar daddy would entail

he had a small set of rules outlined and you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d done this with other people before

his rules were super simple though: send him photos of you with the things you were buying with his money and don’t share the money he was giving you

they seemed like odd rules at first but in reality Jin was looking for someone to spoil and to boost his ego a little bit because he knew he could provide and make you happy

plus he thought you were attractive…

you had no idea what his full name was so you couldn’t google him

basically you blindly trusted him and he sent you RIDICULOUS sums of money in return

he sent you enough money for you to buy a luxury car one time and you were so surprised you almost choked on your own spit when you saw the number hit your bank account

there was no way it was a real number…. no number had that many zeroes…

but you also got to know him better as a person and find out just how funny he was

if you’d known the bad dad jokes were a part of the whole “sugar daddy deal” you would have asked for more….

but honestly you loved his humor and how witty he was

he never spoke of you to his outside friends and you only spoke vaguely of him to your friends whenever they asked you about a new expensive item you’d bought

nothing is ever so simple though

eventually you found that you didn’t even want to spend the money he was giving you and you didn’t even want the money

maybe you were going crazy

the reality was you were beginning to see Jin in a new way

a way that did not include him sending you money across a screen or even sending you money at all

you’d begun to find yourself texting him just to talk and to share your thoughts and worries

Jin ended up confiding in you on numerous occasions as well

so now you’re fucked

your friend encouraged you to end it, but when you tried to tell Jin you were backing out he only increased the amount of money he was sending you because he thought you’d found someone better

truthfully Jin liked talking to you often and seeing the goofy photos you took with whatever you’d spend his money on because they made him smile and overall lifted his mood

he began to become moody after that last encounter when you tried to stop the arrangement and it was driving his coworkers and friends up the fucking wall

his friends staged an intervention because you’d beat him to the realization that there was the potential for something more between the two of you

“I’ve never done this before… do you always fall in love with your sugar baby?”

“…no, dumbass” - Yoongi, without sympathy for his thick-headed friend

so this guy thinks “maybe I should confess” and does it in the most RIDICULOUS way possible

he sent you money transfers and the amounts were actually binary codes

peak dumbass culture

and of course you have no clue

so he FINALLY sends you a binary code translator in a text message and another message just containing this emoji “😏” which makes you NERVOUS

he’s never asked for explicit photos of you before and you’re not sure you’d like to give any out to ANYONE not just Jin

but you find that his cute little ass has been sending you love confessions for the last week after he sends you another sum of money and you decide to plug the number into the binary code translator and then plug the other sums of money into the binary code translator as well

so now the two of you have to work on where you stand with one another because you’re realizing that you don’t actually KNOW anything about Jin, you only know that he’s wealthy and funny and compassionate

so he send you his WIKIPEDIA page and you’re like holy shit this dude’s a CEO of an insanely big company

and you realize how different you are from him and get a little freaked out at first

but you know that Jin likes you despite you two being from different worlds so you take a leap of faith and ask to meet him for lunch sometime

this man

he picks you up in his luxury car and drives you to the fanciest restaurant you have ever been to

and then proceeds to tuck his napkin into the front of his shirt just to make you laugh

you continue to go out on dates with him, even taking him to some of your favorite spots, and he begins to learn more about you and realizes that he got lucky when he’d chosen you as his sugar baby

he finally asked you out as he was dropping you off at your apartment and when you’d said yes he’d suddenly asked if he could kiss you

oh hell yeah

he’d asked partially to hide his smile after you’d said yes

his lips were soft and warm and plush against yours and his hands were wound loosely around your waist as your hands tugged in his jacket to pull him closer

pulling away he had only winked at you before walking back to elevator to go home

something that had started out as a joke and a whim had turned into something where you felt loved and cherished each day and something that made your chest grow warm just at the thought of Jin

[sharkfish]

ps i loved this one

(rereading bookmarks edition)

i’ve been rereading stories from my bookmarks as a comfort thing. i’m getting real deep in there to stuff i haven’t (re)read for years, and damn do i have good taste. the ones i’ve read recently that you should, too: 

(under the cut so i’m not that asshole that makes you scroll past an endless post) 

A Change of Scene by SurlyCat

When Dean goes over to see his Dom on Christmas Eve, he isn't expecting Cas to play naughty Santa, and neither of them is expecting how it turns out for them.

ooooomg fuck me up with that sex to lovers thing featuring bdsm. yessssss 

A Room of His Own (or not) by Valinde (Valyria)

Dean took a deep breath and reassessed the situation. He was in bed with a guy, sure, and technically they were snuggling, but it was Cas. The guy had absolutely no reference on what was appropriate physical contact between two dudes sharing a bed in the... normal, completely unsexy, no-funny-business, way.

cas is fallen, dean is confused (what else is new), A+ cuddling. that’s the fic. 

Boys On Film by LoversAntiquities @tragidean​ 

But maybe that’s what it is—maybe Castiel’s finally realized something Dean is too chicken to admit, despite the fact he’s been jerking off to the idea of Castiel fucking him for the past few weeks. The idea warms him as much as it pains him to think about, his friend not being able to talk to him about something like that. That has to be it—it’s the only explanation. Castiel likes him.

“Or maybe he knows you do cam shows.”

Dean chokes on his burger.

idk what to say, i love a good sex worker fic and here you go. @tragidean​ is always here with that first-class content. 

Castiel's Angel by Valinde (Valyria) @valinde​

The angel took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. He was fidgeting Cas noticed. Usually he was so bizarrely at ease in his human form, lounging around and tossing winks and smirks at anyone with a pulse. That more than anything had Cas straightening on his stool and wishing he was a little less tipsy.

“Ineedyoutogroommywings,” Dean muttered in one long, almost unintelligible, string. He was blushing.

all my fellow wing hos should flock* to this fic. i also love me a good switcharoo with angel dean (and hunter cas, as this is an alternate canon universe). and dean gets all claim-y, which is also my jam. 

*this was unintentional but a pretty funny joke 

For Science! by pm_lo 

Selected transcripts and supporting materials from Dr. Castiel Williams and Dean Winchester’s seminal study on physiological and psychological sexual response by gender designation.

i believe this was the first abo fic i added to my bookmarks. story time: many, many moons ago, i kept track of my reading list. i was doing that “50 books a year” thing so it was mostly for tracking that, but i had another tab for fics, because i read few enough that i could track them. i rated things and sometimes left notes, and by all the abo ones i was like “don’t tell anyone i read this.” yes, i shamed myself for liking abo. it was a dark time in my life.

anyway, then i read this, and was like, all right i can see what’s going on here.

this is a great fic for multiple reasons, and the format is one. it’s written as dialogue-only transcripts from their experiment. it’s hard to make that kind of format work, but pm_lo ain’t fucking around. 

Just a Stranger On the Bus by Amelia_Clark 

December 31 9:32 PM When Castiel boards the bus in KC, they think it’s empty at first—but when they toss their backpack onto an aisle seat and climb in after it, there’s a muffled yelp from the dimness at the back of the bus. They turn in time to see a man in a faded Carharrt jacket, sitting up and yawning as he rubs sleep out of his eyes. The man’s hair is greasy and matted down on one side, and there’s drool on the side of his face; nonetheless, he’s ridiculously good-looking.

“Hey man,” he says. Castiel does not correct him. “This can’t be Chicago.”

the non-binary tag, just like the trans tags in general, are a house half-built and left to rot in the rain. even if that wasn’t true, this series is goddamn amazing. also there’s rimming. also there’s a line in there that said something like “they don’t dislike their body, it just never felt like theirs” and i had a lightbulb moment irt my own experience. did dean ever wear carharrt in the actual series? if not, mistakes have been made. 

Just Turn Around and Go by PorcupineGirl @porcupine-girl​

Dean should be happy. His best friend and housemate of five years, Castiel, is moving out to live with his boyfriend, Balthazar. Dean's career is going great, so he can easily afford the house on his own now. This is just growing up, moving forward to the next phase of their lives.

It would be awesome, if he weren't in love with Cas.

Well, here we go, he thinks as he opens the refrigerator and digs around for sandwich supplies. First day of the rest of your life. Time to move the fuck on. As he slams his meat and mayo and pickles down on the counter, he considers adding the bottle of whiskey he knows is hiding in the cabinet, but decides that he has enough self-respect to wait 'til five. Then he'll get fucking blackout drunk. Yep. Awesome.

y’all, do i even have to say anything about this? roommates to friends to a pathetic amount of pining without saying shit to disgustingly in love. also i think i cried, but i’ve been in tears so many times in the last week, who’s to say. 

Plus One by ceeainthereforthat @ceeainthereforthat​ 

Castiel Novak might have to attend three weddings in two months, but he’s not about to let his brother play matchmaker. His family’s Internet streaming company is too important to let a relationship steal his time, but he knows exactly what to do–hire someone to pretend to be his boyfriend.

Dean Winchester has worked five-star hospitality long enough to know how to fit in with Castiel’s crowd, and this job could score him the connections to make his acting career take off. It’s a business deal, no matter how they’re drawn to each other. When the lines of their contract start to blur into real feelings, can they withstand Castiel’s family and jealous fans working to split them up?

there are a lot of great fake dating stories out there, but this one takes the cake (or, at least, a slice of it). also, i cried a lot rereading this, both “ohhh god i love their love” tears and also “ohhhh god this hurts so bad” tears. 

Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche) 

Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird.

they’re both oblivious idiots in love, cas is grey-ace, dean’s a total dork, it’s all just very lovely (and frustrating in the way oblivious idiots can be!!!). 

PS - annie d is writing marvel fic lately and i’m sure it’s fantastic if you’re into that kind of thing. 

Support Your Local Gay Beekeeper by Powerfulweak

It’s not like Dean goes on Grindr very often, just when he’s bored and alone. The blue-eyed guy's profile reads "Beekeeper, 29, 5'10, Single, I watch the bees." Dean is intrigued. He has to send a message.

this is a series that starts with some great phone sex and then goes on to very, very awkward sex injuries. a goddamn cringefest that had me in complete horror imagining it. but it’s fun! they persevere! people so rarely write about Sex Going Wrong and i love @powerfulweak​ for taking the bullet for us on that one. 

Take Me Home Tonight by Persephoneshadow @persephoneshadow​

“Come on, we’re finding you someone to…engage with sexually or whatever,” Dean explains, chancing another swig of beer before going on. “Anyone in this bar, no limits, who would you would be your top choice to bang?” “Well, you, ideally.” Dean spits out some beer before collapsing in on himself, legitimately choking this time. “Excuse me?!” ---- Or the one where Cas wants to have sex and Dean is there to help.

your classic denialist “i’ll be your wingman” turning to “actually imagining someone else touching you makes me want to punch someone.” which is dumb, because cas actually wanted dean all along. 

Words with Friends by betts

"Dean Winchester is as straight as an arrow. He’s a lady’s man of epic proportions: the king of the one night stand, the messiah of the friends with benefits paradigm, the emperor of perpetual bachelorhood.

Except, apparently, when it comes to his best friend, Castiel Novak."

***

Wherein a longstanding acquaintanceship leads to friendship, then best friendship, then sexting, then dirty talk, then mutual masturbation, then, inevitably, fucking.

look i think you’re always in good hands with @bettsfic​. but this one has some good sexting and phone sex right at the start, which i’m totally into, and then it gets even better. cas is a lil bossy, by which i meant to say he’s the kind of bdsm geek who has equipment installed in his bedroom for sex purposes. 

You're The Only Stranger I Need by lyndsie_l

When Castiel receives a text from a stranger, he finds himself engaging in conversations daily. He's drawn to the outgoing college student and longs to interact with the other man as often as he can. Slowly, he finds himself falling in love with the other and can't imagine ever meeting a more beautiful person.

The only problem?

He's never actually met this other man.

be still my heart! a long distance/texting/phone sex thing! i want to read it again right this second. cas is such a cool nerd, dean is a brat, it’s a good time all around. 

if you enjoy these fics (and you should), please give the writer some love via kudos and/or comments. <3 

ps - as always, if i didn’t tag the writer and you know their tumblr, please tag in the comments. i don’t think there’s a writer alive who wouldn’t be happy to be on a rec list. :) 

[anti-anti-stevinel]

I really don’t understand the SU fandom. They get all gaga over the gems being together and praising them for the queerness. But if some other fan(s) ship Steven, and some other humans, with those of the same sex or with a gem (the gems are non-binary) they suddenly get up in arms about it.

Person A: Oh, I headcanon Steven (or some other human/gem character whose sexuality isn’t specified) as bi/pan/gay/ace/ect...

Person B: NO! They are straight/gay! They must only be with this character (who is of the opposite/same sex)!

Person A: But... I thought this fandom was all about characters being in a whole wide queer spectrum, not just straight or gay...

Person B: NO! Straight or gay, that’s it!

Person A: But I like to headcanon Steven/Lars/Sadie/Connie/ect... as bi/gay/pan/ace, ect... like myself.

Person B: Nope! All straight! They can’t be with anyone else other than the popular character we put them with!

Person A: Ugh, but I like to think of Amethyst and Lapis as asexual.

Person B: No, they are gay only!

Person A: Yeah you know what? Fuck this fandom.

This is pretty much how I feel and it gets on my damn nerves. Ships outside the “accepted” ones and the ones deemed “canon” aren’t allowed. Any queerness thrust upon any character that isn’t in the “gay” category is pretty much laughed at if they are gems. Or “straight” for a lot of the human characters. Like to imagine Steven as gay? Bi? Pan (which is what I do)? Naw, he can only be straight and end up with Connie. Lars as bi? Nah, he has to be straight too and end up with Sadie.

God, the close-mindedness of this fandom pisses me off something fierce. I get more freedom with this shit in Harry Potter and the Avatar fandoms than I do with this one. It’s called freedom of expression and imagination, deal with it! I don’t care if one ship or headcanon hurts your wittle fweelings, you don’t get to dictate what people ship or headcanon in the slightest!

I despise Lapidot, Amedot, Larsadie, and Connverse, but I don’t go out of my way to belittle those who ship them on a daily basis. I understand people like these ships, for one reason or another, and that’s okay! You can extend the same courtesy to those who don’t ship those ships for their own reasons. Perhaps for their own headcanons, or perhaps they like those characters with different characters. 

I swear, it’s like you people have never been in any other fandom with multiple ships and headcanons that exist outside the more popular ones. It’s like you bundle up SU in a tight, oppressive, blanket, and anything you don’t like that tries to get in the blanket is vilified and ridiculed. 

Grow the fuck up, the show and fandom don’t belong to you and never will.

[ad2150mit-blog]

Repsonse post #2: Gender

This week's reading tackled the issue of gender. Alison Bechdel’s graphic memoir “Fun Home” discussed the issues she faced throughout her childhood, adolescence, and then adulthood years.  Allison was a child who struggled with her sexuality at a very young age. She always wished to portray herself in a less feminine manner and was ridiculed by her father when selecting unladylike clothing. It was not until she began her adult life, she truly came to terms with her sexuality; openly classifying herself as a lesbian.  

I believe social norms and gender binaries make it very difficult for a child to grow up when unsure of their sexuality or gender identity in today's society. We saw how Alison faced this firsthand because whenever she dressed herself in more manly clothes, had short hair, and wrestled with her brothers, her parents did not approve and constantly tried to make her look more feminine. Even forcibly making her wear certain things; as we saw when her father became hostile about her taking off a barrette. Alison Bechdel explaining and sharing pieces of her childhood and the struggles she faced is very brave and I believe extremely important because many people today face similar struggles. Our society being more open and understanding of numerous sexualities as well as genders is something, I believe, is very beneficial and needs to be continued.  

We are slowly starting to realize that gender is not mutually exclusive and allowing people to freely express themselves is only going to create a more diverse society. There are numerous ways people view or identify themselves. It is now common for people to choose to be identified by the pronouns ‘they’ and ‘them’. Stating that the label of he, his and her, hers do not fit and agree with how someone may choose to identify themselves. I have been in many instances, often in a class setting, where an ice breaker would be to go around and say your name as well as the pronouns you associate with. This hopefully creates a safe space where people are being called by the pronouns they feel comfortable and wish to be identified by. I think this is a great step in our society and we should continue to accept people and call them how they wish to be referred to.  

Upon announcing her sexuality, Alison’s mother was unsupportive and hoped she would keep this to herself. Unfortunately, Alison was not as accepted for being lesbian as one would hope, but sadly, many people can relate to this and experience this as well. Not all people and families have come to terms with the idea of someone in their family being homosexual. People are often treated harshly and resented due to ‘coming out’ regarding their sexuality. Upon hearing and reading stories, I am aware that suicide is often a result of not being accepted for being homosexual, as well as many homosexual people face struggles and are discriminated against daily due to their sexuality. I think this is extremely wrong and such a sad fact, someone's life is so valuable, and it is sad that young children are committing suicide because they feel unaccepted in society and are bullied. Beginning my last year of secondary school, there was much controversy regarding a teacher possibly showing discriminating towards homosexuals. One of my close friends, who had come out as gay wished to fill his page of the year book by photographing people freely expressing themselves as well as including gay couples photographed together. The teacher did not support this idea and said there needed to be more diversity. She instructed him to shoot people of all sexualities for his page. He argued that he wanted to represent people who are constantly being told to “fit in”, rather then including numerous heterosexual people. He believed the whole yearbook was showcasing that and he wanted to shed light on students who are typically left out. In my opinion I believe that he should be allowed to design his page however he wishes. As well, having a page that represents homosexual people is in fact more diverse than including all students in that one particular page because they may not be featured in the other pages of the yearbook as frequently.

In today's day and age, many people are sexually fluid, and although I personally have never faced what it is like to question your sexuality, I know close friends and acquaintances who have. I have experienced seeing people fearful of coming out because of the discriminated that is often associated with doing so. This in turn creates anxiety, alienation, isolation and many more issues that frequently have a negative effect on a person's mental health. In my opinion, people should be taught about all types of gender and sexuality and move away from gender norms and the idea that heterosexual is what's best. Without norms, there is no underlying rules or constraints that prevent people from being open about these issues. This as well, would hopefully eliminate that fear, anxiety, and alienation people are facing.  

Overall, I am grateful to have grown up in a society and community that is more accepting of all people and less judgment is present. I can only hope that this fluidity and openness continues to grow. In regard to Bechdel’s memoir, what I have read so far, is unfortunately not uncommon. It is very difficult to express yourself if you fall outside these pre-decided standards. Alison had to spend most of her childhood unaware of her sexuality and repressed the feelings she felt, along with hiding how she wished to appear. She was told that she must fit this mold of femininity and how she wanted to dress was unallowed and frowned upon. I am aware the issue of binaries and social norms is not something that will disappear within a day, but I believe new generations should be educated about these issues so we can live in a world accepting of all sexualities and gender classifications. My goal for society is to be supporting of all gay, straight, bisexual, LGBTQ+ people and more.