#I want that gender back ok!!!!
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ame worlds beyond number is soooo non-binary coded To Me.
#it’s like. hm.#like that thing of when you’re a kid and you don’t have the expectations to Fit In to the gender binary quite yet#and you can run around and be loud and rough and dirty and no one cares because you’re a seven year old girl#and then you grow up and people ridicule you for being outside of the binary through adolescence#and then as an adult you learn to perform gender for the sake of your community#(thinking of ame’s outfit being pretty hyper feminine and the way her personality as an adult contrasts with her kid personality;#like because of both her position as a witch and a woman she needs to be calm and professional and a caretaker and a mediator and…)#idk.#I’m just thinking about the 14 year old ame scene again it was A Lot#‘she’s not a girl- she’s a witch!’ sparked this post btw.#worlds beyond number#also I get such gender envy from children’s adventure ame and it’s because she reminds me of me as a kid#I want that gender back ok!!!!#twtwatwo#ame wbn
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this one goes out to all the kids who had their brain chemistry altered by werehog sonic growing up 💪💪💪
#aka me#I HAVE POSTED ABT THAT RIGHT. HOW WEREHOG SONIC CHANGED MY LIFE. HE TRANSED MY GENDER AND MADE ME A FURRY. THE POWER HE HOLDS.#i actually dont think i would really call myself a furry anymore?? like i super was in my pre and early teens but its sorta passed?? and#hasnt rlly come back#i do want to get back into drawing anthros and whatnot but ajgjhj#ok i was gonna jsut title this as “freedom” or smth but no#my art#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#lycion#havent been able to stop thinking abt him. him and fleki specifically. love those two so much.
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thw world when im working on a conlang again
#AHHHHH#every time i take a break from conlanging and then get back into it it feels so good.#ok this is gonna be my second rework of my second conlang. i already tried earlier this year but it didnt really go anywhere#and i wanted to lowkey start another rework from scratch and i think im bringing in some cool ideas#actually did i even post about this lang? i called it raz then but im gonna give it a new name now i think#but yeah it has a weird gender system and animacy based word order and like a bajillion cases and i think#i might even do auxiliary verbs??? i dont think any of my clongs have auxiliaries lmao i kinda hate them#but yeah im thinking a fusional tense + aspect marker and then moods marked with auxiliaries maybe#also wanna play around with evidentiality#ramblings
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I'm still thinking about that post about how female characters and especially wlw and f/f ships are treated in fandoms because I got a reply that I deleted on my post about how all the Nein were big shippers on deck for Beau and Yasha that boiled down to "haha Caleb making a tower so the useless lesbians would admit they liked each other!" and it's like. He made the tower to Beau's orders. She had already asked out Yasha, who in turn had of her own volition written Beau a phenomenal, beautiful letter instead of a poem as recommended by Jester. This is factually incorrect and obnoxiously dismissive of a genuinely great dynamic and attributes all agency to a man. When you say shit like this you sound like you are Chat GPT. No new thoughts no time actually spent analyzing a relationship dynamic just "ooh i see a woman in fiction what is the phrase most associated with this ok done onto the next task".
#whenever i post like 20 times before 8:15 am like this you need to understand it's bc my dumbass morning person body woke up at like 5:45 am#and i was like well i'm not getting back to sleep and then pounded 3 cups of coffee in an hour#just to give some context#also if i delete a reply or anon know that it's because i wanted to reply with something like this and (usually) restrained myself#which is very hard for me as an annoying person#like. it is very difficult to articulate this without sounding like some kind of well I don't see gender asshole and that isn't what i mean#but if you can only talk about wlw and women in general in overused memes that weren't funny the first time#you're clearly not like. spending time thinking about them. you can see this with repeated phrases#like the reason why repeated phrases in fanfic or in academic essays are looked down on is bc it shows you're not fucking thinking#you just grabbed what someone else said and said haha ok done i'm gonna go back to a busy day of eating markers
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Actually. Thinking about it because of my last reblog, but to people who get into romantic relationships (including demiro people and such): why do people make it so awkward when an unrequited crush happens?
I've seen people end really strong friendships over the other person having feelings, but if that happened to me I feel like I'd just... be flattered? And take it as a sign that the person really likes me, and be glad? Crushes are just a form of affection, isn't it kind of the same thing as a friend telling you "I really like you as a person"?
If you wanted a relationship with them, it means you like them a lot, but just because they don't return it, you... leave?? Even though you felt that close to them?? Can people not just enjoy the feeling of having a crush and treat it as a casual thing that's just there? Why is it such a big deal. Having a crush is a pretty pleasant feeling from what people say. Just enjoy the feeling. What's the problem here
#Again#maybe it's just me being lithoromantic but I could not care less whether the person likes me back or not#I'd even rather they don't.#I honestly would love to just have a crush on someone who doesn't like me back and just... treat it as casual banter material.#It's just a feeling. It's really not that big a deal.#I don't get why people treat romantic love like it's so special. It's just a form of affection like any other.#my gender apathetic too-independent-for-a-relationship mom's still friend with her ex from 30 years ago sl#i guess i wasnt raised with the social expectation that staying friends with exes was a red flag#and even when i still dated i guess i was too poly to see it as Not a green flag (shocker)#if someone's still friend with their ex it shows a degree of emotional maturity in most instances imo. idk#people will see that as a red flag and if it isnt for cheating reasons (i dont understand the concept of cheating.) idk wtf thats about#--i UNDERSTAND the concept of cheating i just dont understand why 90% of people care about it#why do you want to be your s/o's one and only. external support systems are important#if the only person in your life who matters to you is your s/o thats a recipe for disaster#ok i'll stop rambling now. eurgh#rant#aromantic#open question
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*grits teeth*
i do not want to discourse here or anywhere anymore but it does kind of affect me as a transmasc bi person when i see shit that indirectly misgenders me and implies that bisexuality is an icky no good word and identity and you have to be bi and gay and bi and lesbian and bi and straight at the same time or support them or you're an evil stinky stinky terf like... hello where am, i
#it makes me feel othered by an otherwise inclusive community bc how dare i think that men aren't involved in lesbianism#or how dare i think that bisexuality is a whole and valid sexuality#or how dare i think that any and all nonbinary genders are included in every single sexuality by default#or that trans women are women so no fuckin g duh theyre included in lesbianism and if your knee jerk reaction to seeing:#men cannot be lesbians is to think of trans women then you are the transphobe here#or how i dare think that trans man and transmasc aren't the exact same thing#that genderqueerdyke person is also a transadrophobia geek and theyre buddies with genderkoolaid#which like. do i HAVE to say it?#IF U IGNORE THE TRANSMISOGYNY (WHICH U SHOUDLNT) THEYRE ALSO A ZIONIST HELLOW?? WHATS NOT CLICKING WHATS NOT CLICKING#OK IM KINDA MAD ABT THAT LIKE... SORRY BUT HOW ABOUT WE DONT PLATFORM IDIOTS NO MATTER HOW GOOD THEIR RHETORIC MIGHT SOUND#BC U WANT TO BE TOTALLY INCLUSIVE AND NOT GATEKEEPY#ive BEEN around the fucking block ive BEEN on tumblr when the resident terfs here coined bi lesbian#if you scrolled back far enough in certain keywords you wouldve seen that shit in the early 2010s being discussed in their circles#to mean lesbians who are attracted to trans women#you cannot reclaim that or recoin it#yes ive done the research too#i looked at every single piece of evidence of that label existing in the past 50~ years#its just bisexual women back when lesbian spaces also included them#plus like may i also fucking ssay that bisexual also used to mean being of two sexes (transsexual/gender and/or intersex?)#this close to fully believing that the pushback against bisexual being it's own whole and valid sexuality is some kind of psy op#i sound schizophrenic well Maybe I Am#i feel like im going to end up deleting this post bc i dont want to argue with people who disagree with me because there is no getting#through to any of you#tbd.
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pieces of my soul i can't reject
love letters, prayers, diary entries, maybe all of the above. for the little girl i used to be <3
I’ve been thinking about this post a lot lately. How it really, truly, and deeply conveys the way I conceptualize the younger version of myself. The version of myself that didn’t know we were genderqueer.
I think about her a lot, that little girl I used to be. She was strong and bright and brave. Her girlhood was so intrinsic to her. But she’s not me anymore. I laid her down in a grave I dug a while ago so she could rest. She didn’t get that— rest— when she was here, but she has it now. One day, I’ll rest with her. I’ll wrap my arms around her and hold her close like I was always meant to; even if it can only be in death and never in life.
It’s weird, sometimes, to think about who I used to be. I look at photos of that little girl I was and I don’t see myself. But I feel her within me, in the dreams I can’t dare to give up on because that would be a betrayal. I still have her memories. I was her but she isn’t me and isn’t that all a bit contradictory?
I could talk about my past self with they/them pronouns if I wanted to, other people do it all the damn time, but I won’t. I won’t do it because she was a girl to her core and I can’t bring myself to take that from her. She hurt so much when she was here, she faced things that no kid should have to face (the catholic church really will do a number on you). And I cannot imagine hurting her more by denying her existence.
I didn't grow into a woman But I grew up as a girl
Teenagehood provoked me and soon, womanhood choked me But sisterhood held me with care
~ Girl by Cammi McDermott
To me, there is something sweet and gentle and tender in acknowledging my past self’s existence while also recognizing that she is not me anymore. There is something gentle and tender in caring about my past self, in loving my past self.
I wonder, sometimes, if in a different life she wasn’t a part of me. Maybe in some other universe she’s a girl I get to hold close to me while we’re both alive. Maybe in another timeline I get to tuck her into bed and shroud her in the softness she deserved but didn’t always get. Because wouldn’t that be lovely?
I love her, that little girl I used to be. I’m not her anymore, but I hope that somewhere in the ether she can hear me telling her, “I love you, I’m proud of you, I remember you. I will always remember you.”
#some trans feels for your dash i guess#been wanting to write something for her for a while#i guess i wrote her something back in march#but she deserves more#trans#gender stuff#personal#probably too personal if we're being honest#ok to reblog
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doctor who star beast special spoilers ‼️
the metacrisis Let It Go resolution scene was a little funny bc like. what do u mean “u wouldn’t understand this as someone male presenting” bro was literally a woman like a minute ago 😭 fun episode fr though idec that it got a little bit cringy like that
#i’m NOTTTT being one of those Ugh It’s So Woke people but 😭 the doctor was Just a woman right before this so idk if that totally makes sense#yknow#anyway i’m not gonna complain hello hi doctor who is back i’m SO EXCITED WOOOOO#idk how to say this but it definitely felt disney-y#does that makes sense#still good tho 🙏🏼#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#doctor who the star beast#also rose is cool ☝🏼 fun character i love how supportive donna is with her#like donna was so prepared to throw hands for her lolll#also#likeeee ok ik it’s affirming rose’s gender and all but. the doctor has been living as a woman until like a day ago at this point#(or something) (idk the specific time gap between regeneration & seeing donna again)#i wouldn’t say he’s in total Male Mindset rn considering how recently he regenerated#yknowwww?#anyway i’m not complainingggg i swear i just. had a thought and wanted to type it out here
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that writer got so heated when they said ‘I write the best queer gender characters’ and I replied ‘then where are the trans characters other than that creepy predatory trans woman’ that they’re STILL writing 6 PARAGRAPH dissertations about how they don’t owe anyone anything WEEKS AFTER I SAID THAT
#it’s truly pathetic.#’you came into MY house to MY dinner and demanded a meal…’ <so why did you call it a queer dinner and get mad when i ask where the queer is#also they don’t owe their readers anything …. ok so who are you writing for ? who is your target audience if it’s not for them ??#the wildest thing is they didn’t reply and blocked me (stupid but whatever) and yet they STILL keep posting about it ??#the whole reason I even commented is bc they were patting themselves on the back for writing such great diversity#and how they’re giving the queers everything they want (cis gay men but they write for fojoshis so..)#how you gonna brag about how great your diversity is and how genderqueer your world is and then get mad when someone asks to see a single#a single trans character ☹️#SAME POST WHERE THEY SAID INTERSEX PEOPLE IN THEIR WORLD GET ASSIGNED GENDER 3 as a hashtag diversity win without analyzing how bad that is#the worst part is they were a pretty good writer before they got into twitter and discord queer discourse :(#a day in the life of steeve#Rowland if you’re reading this PLEASE HIRE A SENSITIVITY READER!!!!
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[Image ID: Man from the WOE PLAGUE BE UPON YE MEME throwing a chibi of Momoi Satsuki or Muku Sakisaka to the viewer. The text reads "WOE MOMOI/MUKU BE UPON YE." End ID.]
YOU 🫵 want to vote for momoi satsuki and muku sakisaka in the @pinkhairswagtourney later today !!
this post has been sponsored by the knb/a3! alliance! like and subscribe for more!!!
#never gonna call eminem anything but woe plague be upon ye meme guy in image ids#ANYWAYS <3 IF U WANT TO VOTE FOR MY DAUGHTER AND MY SON IN LAW THATD BE SO COOL :)#if anyone is curious what im talking abt its that there have been several polls where a3! fans have voted and supported knb charas and#vice versa (i think in the end its only a handful of ppl but its ok :>)#it started with aomine and momoi and muku and yuki and now here goes momoi and muku... cheering them on.... these pink and blue guys...#momoi satsuki#muku sakisaka#kuroko no basket#act! addict! actors!#kuroko no basuke#kuroko's basketball#a3!#knb#choo choo losers#ALSO OP WELCOME BACK!!! VERY EXCITED!!!! i hope the days have been well and to the girl (gender neutral) reading this... have a great day :
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getting into fandom recently,,, by god is it scary!! lmao
(i don't mean this as hate to anyone/anything in particular i am just out n about exploring communities and By God it is terrifying someone come pick me up lmao)
#elize.txt#idk most of the fandoms I've been in for years have been like. mostly small/indie/dead#then like after cookie run kingdom blew up#did you know there's. a ban on the wiki abt discussing cookie genders#cookie. genders#n like#timekeeper cookie#i saw people talkin abt the selfcest ship with them and croissant cookie being toxic and stuff#which is. ok everyone is free to interpret stuff however they want! no one's exactly wrong here#devolved into mentions of problematic age gaps n other. things. real fast.#how did we get here?#cookie game??#then seeing h*yoverse stuff across the horizon as well#censoring not as an insult but mainly bc idk enough abt the games to tag it ToT#i do not think modern day fandom wouldve survived some of the old maplestory ships /lh#HoM x Freud#freud x evan#idk what the ship names were oops#eclipse x luminous#whatever's going on in the kbms tags also scare the hell out of me#like. ok amen have a good day goodnight.#drawing#art#oh god right 4851 being fetishized as some kind of yandere ship as well....#when will i be free... god forbid my ships don't come backed with Unspeakable Horrors
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Same venue. Same-ish crowd. Opposing seasons. Contrasting vibes.
#me#sometimes you have a few beers and yr feeling yrself. sometimes you feel too much like yourself and consider leaving early#for all the talk of yearning and intricate rituals let me tell you. a drunk girl sidled in right in front of me and the sense of rage i-#her and esp the guys she was with got kinda rowdy in the pit later on shoving each other also into the crowd whom did NOT want part of that#its a lot of people in a small room and at this point i was already further back and against a wall let me tell you#i think if someone had touched me i might have snapped fr#still had an ok time though once i got over feeling super embarrassed about my self and dared looking other people in the eye lol ah#one thing i do like abt the culture is the genderneutrality of it all... the most long and luscious locks in the room belong to some guy#and i can show up in sport bra and oversized shirt no typa bag no makeup wearin black laceup boots that could be m or f#my gender is uh. dont worry abt it lets just turn off the lights and vibe#got talking w someone tho who said she recognised me frm a diff event & i didnt much like that idea.. im not in the mood to be Perceived at#the venue IS p cool tho... like oo at a forgotten space on the other side of the tracks. by the water. by the skate park. yea#edit HOW could i forget. the rowdiest of drunk guys got either shamed into stepping out or str8 removed fr a lil while im not sure lol#and another guy wantedto crowdsurf but only 2 of his friends came to the stage to get him so he just kinda. crawled on top of them#and they awkwardly took a few steps carrying him round the vacated front. none of the crowd wanted shit to do w them lmao
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how does one like. get a binder
#like ik how#im priveleged enough to be able to buy one#ik ehic5h company id go with#but its like im waiting for permission#which no one can really give me#like i could wait til im registered back with the doctor's but even if i was brave enough to bring it up they'd either say just don't#or your asthma is completely fine like they always do#like im the best placed to gauge if my lungs can handle wearing one#really i want someone to come along and say it'll help you're allowed this it wont be a waste of money#and you won't have to share with your parents the specifics of your dysphoria#when i could barely come out without apologizing for it even tho they were ok with it#if it were anyone else i cannot emphasize how behind them id be but when its myself im just stuck going in circles#im gon try and call sib at lunchtime and order it then bc yesterday was really not pleasant#a properly fitted binder can't be much more uncomfortable than a too small sports bra surely#and im already good at taking breaks w that so#we'll see ig#mine#gender adventures with neednoggle#not to complain abt being a skinny person w a big chest when society is obsessed w skinny ppl w big chests#but JFC
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transphobes attacking me on insta for taking HRT after i literally explain that T saved my life by stopping my near-constant menstrual linked-hormonal seizures that i've been having since i was abt 16ish.... they don't actually care if it literally is keeping you alive in a medical sense they want you dead because you don't hate that you're not cis regardless
#pre-T i was never sure if i wanted HRT but after starting T it literally fucking saved my life and i can't imagine going back#full on. my roommates used to have to sit with me for hours in case i choked and died while going in and out of sei#seizures#it was terrifying for me AND them. i would have no thought going through my head besides 'please dont let me die like this'#HRT literally saved my life. it has been the ONLY thing to stop such aggressive and regularly seizures#and while im still disabled im at least not worried ALL THE TIME i'll die suddenly from this struggle#cis people would literally rather me DEAD than being ok with facial hair growth in exchange for no seizures#im a little drinkie i apologize for ranting. im just genuinely so upset objectively#someone said im ABUSING hormones.....#i had an episode in late 2021 that i was in and out of a seizing state for 2 hours. TWO HOURS.#the longest episode i've had since starting T over a year ago was maybe 20 seconds#i feel sick at the idea that people want me to suffer so significantly because they don't like that i'm enjoying the gender euphoria too#fuck. anyway.#rant#ig.....#alcohol tw
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I've got like 5+ other creative projects i want/need to do, but holiday cookies gotta be made, lol. Started with almond cloud cookies <3
Ft. A lump of soon to be choc chip cookies
#frankly. id love to have my shit together enough to do those baking challenges through Dec#but uh... yeah. i dont have enough people to bake for yet to justify it to myself anyways lol#i need a baking/cooking tag in case anyone doesnt want to see these. uhhhhh#[teles cooks]#that'll do perhaps. for now at least#idk. technically this is a interests/hobby blog thing. and baking counts as both. so??#was thinking about the folks that come around for rbs or art. and instead get the odd ramble and baking stuff. like. welp :/#ya get what ya get ig. tis an everything blog. theres gonna be a bit of everything :]#also also. this is super totally unrelated but its been bothering me all day-#whyyyyyy do some of these younger queer kids wanna put everyone in a box againnnn#witnessed a debate about the validity of he/him lesbians again. and i wanted to claw my eyes out#like. augh. 1. read your history. 2. why does it matter so much?#maybe its part of the journey now or smth. idfk. back when i was in my early teens i just worried about going to hell and stuff#now its like. you gotta become a little gender cop to justify yourself to yourself now or smth#its wack. and as a technical he/him lesbian. whenever the fancy takes me. who gives a shit?? dont be an ass. too many of those these days#it makes me feel old somehow. like christ. chill out. theres so many other far more important problems than lesboys. stfu#its tiktok tho. aint it :/ usually is. augh#...anywho. uh? yay for the holidays? one last hurrah before we all have to buckle down for who knows what? yippee?#ok oven beeped. chit chat time over
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i hate slow damage so much there are tears in my eyes i am not joking
#HIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR?!?!??!??#''rei changed his gender expression to be more masculine''#he now looks like someones quirky straight aunt#i could have forgiven the short hair if it either looked good or if he looked like a lesbian but my god this sucks so bad#men should never cut their hair actually#unless they want to ofc but i will b judging#what happened to my beautiful beautiful man#this guy sucks ass#i went from being a rei hater to a rei lover back to a rei hater so fast#im joking i dont hate him#but hes so ugly#ok maybe this will grow on me#i doubt it.#leevi liveblogs#i just realized my tags made it sounds like lesbians dont look good im so sorry lesbians for wording that weird#i meant like good in a man way or good in a lesbian way#as in both options are good and the option i personally dont like is someones straight aunt
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