#and then try to find something part time
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Gosh, Im itching so bad to buy the new Return to Moria game and get to play it myself. I’ve been watching in on a couple of streams, so I know it fairly well by now, and I also know that it'd be more fun wirh friends when Im definitely gonna be playing solo, but Im still So tempted. It just looks like a fun, chill survival game and it's connected to LotR and Im just skrmcljwndoenr. But I shouldn’t be spending more of my savings that necessery when Im not working and dunno when I'll be able to. Aghhhhh...
#personal#I could... maybe... consider this a christmas present to myself?#especially since Im gonna be all alone for new years eve#so maybe I could spend it having some fun in the game...#and I do have enough savings to last me for at least a few months if I spend it moderately#just for train tickets and some food here and there as Ive been doing so far#Im living with my parents so at least the living costs I dont have to worry about#and then in the spring/summer it should be easier to find a part time job that Id be able to fit around my classes#tho I'll have to get an intership in the summer too#and thats not paid work for uni#but anyway#I try not to worry about that too much#it is why I saved up all that money#so I could focus only on uni at first#and then try to find something part time#so I dont get overwhelmed too quickly#but this game is not cheap and Im hhhhhhghhgh#I'll prob play it halfway and never finish#but on the other hand... that still might be some up to 30h of fun and spending time Not thinking of the everyday dread etc#soooo... I dunno#but I might just break and buy the game anyway...#I rarely Actually want something enough to go through with buying it#even when I maybe should (like some more clothes)#(but I Hate clothes shopping so I avoid it at all costs 🙈)
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Small indie artists in need of support for moving out by September!
💜 These lovely folks [@QuinsCurse (they/them) & @sswitchblade03 (xe/xem and he/him)] are part of a small queer-owned Youtube community I'm in. 💖
💖 If you could lend a helping hand by reblogging & queueing this post up until the start of September, I'd greatly appreciate it & I'm sure these fine folks would too! 💜
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
"Hi everyone! Requests are officially closed as I am opening emergency commissions! Please consider supporting me as we are getting kicked out and have managed to find a place that’s affordable but need to save up 5k by the end of the month! Anything helps! I also have a dontations page if you are willing to help do that! All the money received from commissions will be going to the deposit! https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/commissions https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/goal?g=32"
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
"https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/commissions https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/goal?g=0 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS!! My roommate @QuinsCurseand I are needing about $5000CAD for a down payment on a new place as we need to be out of our current place by September! Every bit counts! My goal is to be set to $3000CAD. I will draw anything (coloured and rendered) for $5 CAD each! If you are willing to give more it will be appreciated. Examples of my work below!"
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
#I tried to replicate the youtube posts to the best of my ability#text is in alt descriptions as well as the post itself because idk how to navigate tumblr in this way for these uses#couldn't get the images from yt itself without it messing up the formatting so hope this is good enough <3#I just went to one of the pages itself to find the closest possible images I could that looked like the ones on the original post#highlighted the links on the 2nd part though to make it easier to find the links in the post#the pronouns listed are accurate as of time of posting for those who see this post in the future; just so you're aware; go check if you wan#I have on idea what mutual aid tags are okay in our increasingly worsening internet of 2024 so I'm just gonna not tag it & queue a bunch#I just said I would post it; idk currency conversion or anything of that sort; this is my first time doing something like this so apologies#if it's not up to par with expectations#mine#op#indie artist#yknow what for the sake of not having people block my post tags; ill add a unique tag for this sort of thing#roses campaigns#FILTER THIS PREVIOUS TAG IF YOU FEEL IT NECESSARY; ill try to remember to use it when stuff like this comes up
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game
Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:
'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'
And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".
When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.
And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.
And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:
"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."
Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.
"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."
And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.
"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."
And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.
And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.
And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.
The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.
#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta#also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time#look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai#to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up#i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy#nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness#bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7#but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin#the ways to work around them in order to find happiness#like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy#the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish#anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned#love for love's sake
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I'm trying to avoid getting spoiled so I haven't looked up what's happening in the Jp server's main story, but for my own sanity I need to ask; is the story at a point where we know whether Lilia will get better/survive his almost-empty magic reserves..? Was it a true death flag from the start or only a plot device for malleus' overblot....?
not yet! I do think they're going to get back to it eventually, but -- keeping it as low spoilers as possible -- there's been...let's just say a LOT going on in the meantime.
enjoy 7-6!!! :)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#i AM going to talk more about spoilers for a minute (i will try to keep it just up to 7-6 stuff though)#but i have. THEORIES.#my current hypothesis (based on absolutely nothing except vibes)#is that they're going to find the princess glow and use it to save lilia#via magic boost or...something. idk it was vaguely-defined enough they can handwave exactly how#because. look. they made a point of introducing this super powerful macguffin gemstone with magical dad-saving powers#and then never solidly established what happened to it#(twst? talk at length about something totally irrelevant that never comes up again? surely not)#but it would tie in very nicely with the rest of the parallels between silver and the knight of dawn#and i like how it would be sorta like...a little bit of meleanor coming back to save lilia#(again) (less violently this time)#my even-more-based-on-nothing theory is that crowley might have the princess glow and this might segue into whatever's going on with him#as always i could be completely wrong but i'm just. y'know. feeling it.#i'm still obsessing over that one line from episode 4 where azul was like 'oh yeah i totally know crowley's big secret'#which was most likely azul bullshitting but i'm still like IT'S GONNA COME BACK AAAAANY DAY NOW#(at this point no one will be more shocked than i) (the validation would be nice though)
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Gosh, do I love discovery writing. The freedom. The sense of play. The way you have to hold the material lightly and follow where it leads, never being afraid to scrap things that don't work or to rewrite to emphasize things that do. You have the fun of discovering the story you're writing rather than the frustration of being unable to capture the ideas in your head. This way might wind up taking ages, but it makes the writing process such a joy.
#adventures in writing#i stayed up until i'm-not-going-to-tell-you-how-late finding my way into my inklings story#good news: this process means that i like the story that's taking shape#it's not the story i had in mind#the concept is there but i'm not sure i'm going to be able to work my way to my planned inciting incident#but it's delightful so far#i started the story and spent an hour or more on it#then realized it wasn't working and completely started over#with new names for all the characters and places and a new starting place for the story#new way's working much better but i'm already considering how i can rework some sections and rename some characters#the great thing about this is the freedom that comes from trying something and then trying something else#the bad thing is that when you know every detail could impact which direction you take the story#you spend a lot of time carefully crafting the details#but there's a decent chance you'll completely rewrite the whole section#at least i've learned this part of the process and i'm not going to agonize over the timeline#the opening takes forever but i know once the story gets going the later parts fall into place more easily#anyway this'll likely take more than five days#but at least i'm spending the time writing instead of dithering over an outline for two weeks#and having fun instead of wallowing in frustration and indecision
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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I'm not thinking about it. I am making the active decision to not think about it. If I think about it, I will spiral. I cannot spiral right now. There is work to do and life to live. So for now, I am not thinking about it.
I will remember this though. There are approx 345 million people in the US. 71 million is a lot. It's a scary lot. But it is not half. Not even a quarter.
I believe, I have to believe, that most people did not want this. That most people are kinder than this.
#current events#election 2024#ailith talks to the void#I think I'm going to take my laptop to work today#To have something more than just Tumblr on my tablet once I'm done with my tasks#Perhaps I will finally type up the next part of A King in Arkham#Or build a nice house in Minecraft#Or maybe I'll pull my sketchbook out and finally try my hand at drawing Birdritch Danny preening the Bat-cowl#I will find something to do that will keep me from spiraling in my down time#And I will think more on these events this weekend
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what's up homos ‼️‼️ i’m tight on money rn so i’m opening up an INPRNT store in the hopes of selling some prints. much of my old stuff is too small to get printed so it's mostly newer pieces, but if there’s any particular piece you want, let me know and i’ll try to get it up for you.
#good news i have a part time job now#bad news im still in da tranches trying to find something that will pay me enough to live#wherefore art thou#i will b honest i completely forgor that i could sell prints in exchange for cash money. it just did not occur to me#as a rule i don't upload commissioned pieces unless the commissioner specifically asks#so if i drew something and you want a print of it just let me know and i'll put it up for you
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While I love the storyline where Alfred was there from day one and helped raise Bruce, I think the original where he’s just some guy who shows up one day and Bruce and Dick just have to cope is extremely funny
#Alfred belongs in the family because he really is just as insane as the rest of them#he just knocked on their door and said I live here now#and both dick and Bruce are like ???#but then he learns their secret and he’s like cool!#I can also be a great detective!#and he isn’t but he really good at getting things accidentally#give me weirdo Alfred that becomes the respected father figure over time#and all the younger robins know him as the family butler who been there ages and knows Bruce better than anyone#and they’re like it’s really great he had someone when he was younger#and then they find out that’s not true#he was just a guy that showed up#and forced his way into the family#a lot like the rest of them#but it still absolutely throws them for a loop#so they try not to think about it too hard#can you imagine Gordon??#oh Bruce I didn’t know your family had a butler#oh we didn’t he just showed up one day#Gordon: ????#the fact that dick was part of Bruce’s life first#is something so personal to me#and the fact that he was there watching Alfred break and enter his way into the family#is something so funny to me#batman comics#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth
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Specifically thinking about long distance relationships today.
So tell me how you and your f/o would first meet online?
#I feel like Bakugou and I would meet in one of those online games he’s downloaded to mindlessly waste time between shifts#and he’s so foul at first because he thinks I’m weak but we play and he realises that I’m#actually whooping everyone and he’s like well damn okay#and now he’s messaging in the alliance chat and like getting excited when I’m online even tho he tries to hide it#and gets annoyed when other creeps in his alliance try to flirt with me#and then he’s asking for my discord#me and Sanemi get into a fight on discord the first time we interact#in some stupid big server I only joined for the emojis#but he’s a jerk so I tell him to shut up and a message later I find a msg notification and it’s him trying to continue the conversation😭#enjin slides into my dms on Instagram#he finds my post at a concert and hates the fuckboys that are commenting below#ends up messaging me to see if I’m okay but then immediately worries he’s one of those guys#Tamsy I feel like is that mutual I’ve had forever on twt and we like each others posts but we’ve NEVER talked to each other??#it’s not until I’m feeling sad at 2am and I post something self-deprecating that he drops me a msg🥺#and we end up staying up until 5am just talking to each other#Kirishima is ALWAYS the guy that responds to my ‘morning’ with a morning back! every day without fail#and I slide into his DMs one day and ask how he’s ALWAYS awake when I am??? like to say it back so quick#and he admits he’s kinda learned my schedule and he tries to be online for it because it’s one of the best parts of his day#and he likes saying it back😭😭😭 even if he’s off from a night shift and needs sleep he can’t without seeing me msg#Shindou blatantly flirts with me in a gaming discord and I think he’s an incel so I block him#he gets a friend to ping me to beg me to unblock him and I refuse#the friend then sends another message with a screenshot of Shindou basically begging me to unblock him😭#Dot and I meet in one of those AITA Reddit threads#and we end up borderline arguing over whether op is TA#so much that we get told to take it elsewhere😭😭😭#enjo#bakujo#eijo#but also catch me sending Dynamight sassy banter on his official socials😭😂
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Charles and Seb: the crackvid™
#charles leclerc#sebastian vettel#sebchal#the way i have been working on this on/off since january 😭😭 at this point im so done i just want it finished and out there#and what better day to post than april fools!!!! even included a disclaimer so hopefully people won't take this too seriously but 🙃#anyway this is my humble offering for my fellow seb and charles enjoyers in these trying times 😩👊🏻😻🤧#also dont repost this outside of tumblr fr. if i find this floating around somewhere outside of f1blrsphere istg 😒😡🤬#this should go without saying buuut lbr im gonna wake up one day to find it all over twt or something which 🙃#strotegy & brazil 2019 feat camila cabello & wolf like me are probably my personal fave parts tbh. even if the last one is scarily serious#*#*mine: vid#*mine: video
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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................ he
#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so...#......he#cats#EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he#I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video#s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted#for now though yeah.. just cats#The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a#sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist#who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb#and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left#undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth#So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects#so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on#this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on#them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain#organizes tasks sometimes lol#***#(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word#it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj)#ANYWAY... eeeee#Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing#Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!
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turns out i turned the assignment i was stressing over into something a lot more complicated in my head & its actually really simple
#somehow mistook my far too ambitious plans as the actual assignment#:(#this is really good though bc i thought id be at this all day but if all goes well i could be done in like 2 hours#:)))#which is good bc i have 2 tests tomorrow and an assignment#none of which were put on the online platform we use#which means that i forgot#and another test i have to redo at some point#but i dont know when#aaaghhh why is there so much work always#oh and i need to work on my final project too#the current step is due by the end of next week & its a lot of work#i have to find a bunch of relevant sources#and then paste or type all relevant parts of them in a document#and also provide a defence as to why the sources i picked are trustworthy#and i have to do this for a bunch of them#i have to defend them all individually too#if it was just a text on how i judged the trustworthyness that would be fine#but this is a lot#and im also trying to prepare for the exams already#mine#im so so sick of school#i want some free time to watch a film#!!#its been at least 2 weeks since i had the time#ugh#are they trying to drive us all to burn out or something??
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silver 😑 with his one(1) facial expression + the two most expressive people on this earth that he hangs out with every day
and kalisil :3
#twst#kalim al asim#silver twst#sebek zigvolt#kalisil#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#hehehhehehe#i was writing my fic earlier and then i went to watch silvers dorm vignette for ref#and then i just had son boys on the brain#i love silvers bonds with the other diasomnia characters AND ALSO KALIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!#HIS GOOD BUDDY KALIM WHO IS SO DIFFERENT FROM HIM AND YET. HEART OF GOLD SOLIDARITY#i love them so much. kalim and silver are always so sweet to each other#and sebeks a little freak always i love him every time hes on screen kfdbhkjfdsjfkdlsjf#he was so sweet to silver tho in that story waaaahh WAHHHHH#boys who grow up together and know each other so well ;;;A;;;#also that bottom kalisil fanart is loosely also based on me remembering like. this one pixiv fanart comic from years ago#that i dont fully remember bc i didnt have my phone translator app at the time and i dont speak japanese but#i think it was about kalim losing his phone in the well and trying to get it back bc it had photos of friends on it ?#silver is there and jamil + azul are like. hanging out or something idr theyre there too lol#and theres just a part of it where kalim excitedly jumps on silver i think when he gets his phone back or something#it's just super cute the way he clings onto him and silvers just like yep ok im holding u now. lololol i was always so starved for fanart#pre engtwst so i'd remember older things really well cuz i'd revisit them a lot. i need to go find it again 🚶
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