#and then bro got Burger King

[ironspidersblog]

Tony, returning home from multiple traumatic months of captivity: hmm I want a cheeseburger

Pepper: GO TO THE HOSPITAL

[darknanigans]

bloodweave more like bloodclot because i can feel my heart do lines of crack cocaine while i convulse on the cold hard ground for these two

[fairymosh]

omg

[animusrox]

TOP 10

Past Lives

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

How to Blow Up a Pipeline

Poor Things

Oppenheimer

Barbie

BlackBerry

The Holdovers

The Iron Claw

Killers of the Flower Moon

MY LETTERBOXD Grade A 11.    The Killer 12.    Beau Is Afraid 13.    Dream Scenario 14.    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 15.    Godzilla Minus One 16.    American Fiction 17.    They Cloned Tyrone 18.     Evil Dead Rise 19.    Eileen 20.    The Artifice Girl 21.   Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 22.    Talk to Me 23.    Reality 24.    Leave the World Behind 25.    A Thousand and One 26.    Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One 27.    Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. 28.    Theater Camp 29.   Carmen 30.    Merry Little Batman 31.    Priscilla 32.    Society of the Snow 33.    Infinity Pool 34.    Enys Men 35.    Sanctuary 36.    Rye Lane 37.    Skinamarink 38.    Monster 39.    Anatomy of a Fall 40.    Landscape with Invisible Hand 41.    Reptile 42.    Sisu 43.    Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game 44.    No One Will Save You 45.    Tetris 46.    May December 47.    The Zone of Interest 48.    V/H/S/85 49.    Dumb Money 50.    El Conde 51.    Arnold 52.    Maestro 53.    Napoleon 54.    20 Days in Mariupol 55.    Influencer 56.    The Creator 57.    Origin 58.    Thanksgiving 59.    Next Goal Wins 60.    The Boy and the Heron 61.    Bottoms 62.    Wonka

[Press Keep Reading For The Full Graded List]

Grade B

63.   God Is a Bullet 64.    No Hard Feelings 65.    Joy Ride 66.    Fair Play 67.     Cocaine Bear 68.    NYAD 69.    Asteroid City 70.    Nowhere 71.    The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster 72.    Divinity 73.    The Equalizer 3 74.    The Last Voyage of the Demeter 75.    Venus 76.    Butcher’s Crossing 77.    Somewhere in Queens 78.    The Persian Version 79.    Boston Strangler 80.    Polite Society 81.    Miguel Wants to Fight 82.    The Color Purple 83.    The Royal Hotel 84.    Saw X 85.    All of Us Strangers 86.    Fallen Leaves 87.    Ferrari 88.    Elemental 89.    Peter Pan & Wendy 90.    Renfield 91.    Cat Person 92.    Scream VI 93.    The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes 94.    BS High 95.    Blue Beetle 96.    Huesera: The Bone Woman 97.    When Evil Lurks 98.    Dark Harvest 99.    A Good Person 100.    Final Cut 101.    Knock at the Cabin 102.    Quiz Lady 103.    Leo 104.    Air 105.    The Super Mario Bros. Movie 106.    Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham 107.    John Wick: Chapter 4 108.    Beaten to Death 109.    The Wrath of Becky 110.    Passages 111.    Transformers: Rise of the Beasts 112.    Gran Turismo 113.    65 114.    Sick 115.    Sister Death 116.    The Blackening 117.    Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain 118.    Flamin’ Hot 119.    Nimona 120.    Cobweb 121.    Totally Killer 122.    What’s Love Got to Do with It? 123.     Sharper 124.    Unseen 125.    Dunki 126.    Bird Box Barcelona 127.    The Marvels 128.    Shazam! Fury of the Gods

Grade C

129.   Wildflower 130.    Freelance 131.    M3GAN 132.    Strays 133.    Sympathy for the Devil 134.    Creed III 135.    Chevalier 136.    The Marsh King’s Daughter 137.    A Haunting in Venice 138.    The Little Mermaid 139.    Silent Night 140.    Master Gardener 141.    The Flash 142.    Fast X 143.    The Pope’s Exorcist 144.    Saltburn 145.    Kandahar 146.    Stand 147.    Plane 148.   Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 149.    Fingernails 150.    Quicksand 151.    Fool’s Paradise 152.    Migration 153.    Rustin 154.    The Covenant 155.    Good Burger 2 156.    The Pod Generation 157.    Alice, Darling 158.    Insidious: The Red Door 159.    Missing 160.    Shotgun Wedding 161.    You Hurt My Feelings 162.    The Boogeyman 163.    Showing Up 164.    Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom 165.    Champions 166.    Consecration 167.    The Nun II 168.    Biosphere 169.    House Party 170.    The Exorcist: Believer 171.    Big George Foreman 172.    Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves 173.    Children of the Corn 174.    The Beanie Bubble 175.    Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Grade F

176.    Anyone But You 177.    Marlowe 178.    Paint 179.    Extraction 2 180.    It Lives Inside 181.    Deliver Us 182.    Trolls Band Together 183.    Finestkind 184.    Corner Office 185.    Wish 186.    Prisoner’s Daughter 187.    Pain Hustlers 188.    Foe 189.    The Mother 190.    Old Dads 191.    Ghosted 192.    Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken 193.    Haunted Mansion 194.    Mafia Mamma 195.    Five Nights at Freddy’s 196.    The Machine 197.    Justice League: Warworld 198.    We Have a Ghost 199.    What Comes Around 200.    Legion of Super-Heroes 201.    The Boys in the Boat 202.    Attachment 203.    Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre 204.    About My Father 205.    You People 206.    Meg 2: The Trench 207.    Pathaan 208.    Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire 209.    Assassin 210.    Dalíland 211.    Vacation Friends 2

Bottom 10

212.    Sound of Freedom 213.    Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 214.    When You Finish Saving The World 215.    Heart of Stone 216.    Family Switch 217.    Expend4bles 218.    Sweetwater 219.    Hypnotic 220.    80 for Brady 221.    Spinning Gold

[lizardsfromspace]

I keep seeing suggestions that Warner Bros' attempted vaulting of Coyote vs ACME was a marketing campaign and

Using controversy in advertising is more like when Burger King tweeted "women belong in the kitchen...but only 20% of chefs are women! Got you!" not. A decision granting them such ferocious bad press it inspired filmmakers to refuse meetings with them

I get being suspicious that they had behind-the-scenes reels ready to go, but also Warner Bros does this with everything so of course you'd have 'em ready

[anachronistic-falsehood]

hey guys wouldn’t it be funny if the suckening characters had tumblr

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

omw to burger king gonna get the no whopper whopper who wants anything

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCKV YKU FUCKG HUOU

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

suck my entire dick and balls

👑 shilo-bathory

Hello It’s Me Shilo Bathory Son ofthe Wueen hello 👋 what’s Is That There Is A Hand oon the Light Box Whose Hand Is that There Is A Tiny Man Inside The Lightbocx

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

you pressed the emoji button after typing hello see here i can do it too hello 👋

👑 shilo-bathory

Who Are Yoy Is This your Hand In The Light Box

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

why are you typing like a homestuck character

👑 shilo-bathory

Wghat is Home Suck

🦇 iamthevoid

The darkness is my only friend… my one constant companion in these long decades of breathless life…

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

edgelord alert

🦇 iamthevoid

Boy you have no idea what horrors I have seen. I have witnessed wars and massacres the likes of which would give you nightmares. You have seen nothing yet.

#darkness #my twisted mind #lonely #depression #no one understands #despair

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

@/iamthevoid stop typing like that youre clogging up my dashboard

🦇 iamthevoid

It’s what best suits my dark and twisted soul… if I even have one.

😈 phantom-flipper-official

who tf got peepaw a tumblr account

👑 shilo-bathory

Hello Emizel It Is me Shilo I Helped Arthur create a “tumblr blog” like You Did For Me ☺️ I Know How To Make The Smiley Faces now

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

👑 shilo-bathory

Emizel Hwo Is This Man inthe Lightt Box. Who is That

🦇 iamthevoid

Prince, I believe that is Keanu Reeves.

�� fromthetoprope

@/shilo-bathory Actually My Prince, that is Ben Affleck! He is an “actor.” I learned about him while watching the large light box!

👑 shilo-bathroy

grefgor

🥤 the-soda-man ✅✅

hey guys, i’m shutting this blog down. my soda addiction was getting really really bad, and i think it’s best i don’t post about vintage sodas anymore. i’m rebranding to the nalgene man

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

CONGRATS ON THE TRANSITION 🥳

🥤the-nalgene-man ✅✅

THANKS BRO YOURE MY NUMBER ONE ‼️‼️

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

the no whopper whopper is not worth the twenty five dollars

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

YOU SUCK SO BAD

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

DUDE GET OFF MY DICK

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

I’LL GET OFF YOUR DICK WHEN YOU GET OFF MINE

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

GUESS WERE GETTING OFF EACH OTHERS DICKS THEN

🦇 iamthevoid

I’m reporting this post for sexual content.

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM YOU WANNA GET OFF MY DICK TOO

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

YOU CANT GET OFF HIS DICK YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING OFF MY DICK

🦇 iamthevoid

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHO SHIWED YOU HOW TO USE REACTION INAGES?????>?>?

👑 shilo-bathory

Emizel We Are Learning ☺️ Grefgor Knows All

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

whoever showed arthur homophobic dog im going to strangle you he wont stop saying “i know what you are” and “dont tell me youre one of them” whenever i do anything i was washing the blood out of my clothes at 2 in the morning and he passed by the bathroom and said “i dont think thats normal” im going to fucking rip his throat out

🦇 iamthevoid

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOR

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHY IS THIS GETTING NOTES

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

you guys HAVE to stop asking me about arthur hes not my fucking dad i was an orphan your assumptions are offensive im not related to him i called him peepaw AS A JOKE

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

i AM related to the other guy but thats not relevant

🦇 iamthevoid

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHO GAVE YUO MORE IMAGES

👑 shilo-bathory

His Arsenal Is Expanding ☺️

🦇 iamthevoid

What is a Tumblrina and why are the people in my inbox calling me one?

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

im gonna fucking kill myself

👑 shilo-bathory

Okay 🥳 See You when youu Come Back 😊🥰

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

[lonelypep]

every smash bros character ranked by how good of a cook i think they’d be.

82: piranha plant

eating this dish will kill you instantly. turns out he spit some poison in there while no one was looking. and yeah, that sucks, but if you even accepted a meal from this guy i think you have bigger problems

81: ridley.

let’s be real, if you let this guy into the kitchen, you made a huge mistake. it’s like john mulaney’s horse in a hospital sketch: you never know what he’s gonna do next. you’re too focused on getting him out.

80: king k rool.

king k rool is many things. a king, a pirate, a scientist. but he is not a cook. he’ll try, but he has literally no clue what he’s even doing in the kitchen.

79: yoshi

yoshi will give you a dish and you’ll be like “what the fuck is this” and he’ll talk about how it was made from the finest newborns of his home planet. i’m deciding to ignore it but it’s really nagging at me.

78: sonic

sonic shouldn’t be on this list. because he wouldn’t make you any food. he’ll go to the local sonic and get a burger in about 3 minutes. it sucks. disqualified.

77: pac man

what can i say. it tastes like literal plastic. i don’t even wanna know how he made it. i’ll give it back to him but the nice thing about pac man is he wouldn’t give a shit.

76: bowser jr.

fuck this guy. he rage quit at making a grilled cheese. now there’s a literal canonball in the stove. now no one else can use it!! this is what happens when you spoil kids.

75: pikachu/pichu

these two are in the same category since they’d make the same thing. they’d get store bought french fries and fry them with lighting outside. it’s consistent, it works, just not really filling. and they don’t know how to make anything else.

74. wario

don’t get me wrong: he knows what he’s doing. he’s the burger king of smash. he’s this low because the burger is the most unhealthy shit you’ll ever have. eating it gave you chronic diarrhea, gastrointestinal issues, and permanently damaged your taste buds. but god fucking damn was it a good burger.

73. hero

he gave you a single piece of bread with butter on it. it’s not bad but…really dude?

72: olimar

he didn’t make you a bad meal, in fact it was one of the best here. but that’s because he didn’t make you something. it was the pikmin and he’s trying to pass it off as his own and the pikmin don’t know because they don’t speak english. 0/10: not fucking cool dude.

71: kazuya

honestly? i don’t trust this guy. i was too intimidated to even ask his name. from what i can gather no one even invited him to the party he just showed up and made a mediocre meal. what’s weird: someone came into the kitchen and claimed this guy killed their whole family. we never saw that guy again. needless to say, kazuya wasn’t invited to the afterparty.

70: link (botw)

don’t get me wrong here, link is a five star chef. he’s just really unsanitary. apparently he cut the meat and vegetables with the same sword he killed calamity ganon with. i don’t wanna taste that guy!! have you seen him?? not to mention he pulled the meal out of his pants. i don’t even know how it fit in there.

69: inkling

she made a pancake and i thought it was good! but i absolutely can’t condone this. inkling left so much fucking weird slime and shit all over my house. and got really competitive when she heard i was getting meals from everyone else. i hope they’re all ok.

68: ROB

it was so processed. the most processed food i’ve ever had in my entire life. it’s not his fault, rob is a great guy. but this tasted like literally nothing.

67: ice climbers

when they told me they were making dessert, i trusted them. but i let someone else taste test first. my best friend was sent to the hospital because of tongue frostbite. didn’t even know that was a thing. i made the ice climbers pay for it (they’re fucking loaded)

66: villager

he made isabelle do it. and she made something great! but i’m not giving this cretin credit for having the money to afford a five star chef. you don’t deserve it because you sold a shit ton of tarantulas villager!!

65: lucario.

dude got really mad and destroyed my kitchen. he’s REALLY lucky he got the burger PERFECTLY cooked.

64: male byleth.

like this dude knows how to cook. he can barely make chicken nuggets. he has to eat in the school cafeteria simply because he never learned how to cook a simple meal. but he’s a really nice guy. total himbo. love him.

63: ryu

i asked this guy what he likes to eat. big mistake. he then went on to say that his training regiment doesn’t condone copious indulgence (his words) and he lives off of nothing but protein shakes. you do you i guess.

62-61: fox/falco

these two went into the kitchen and came out with weird alien food. i didn’t eat it but everyone else seemed to enjoy it

60: greninja

when he first came out i was so excited. he came out with the most finely sliced food i had ever seen in my entire life. but it was soooo watered down. everything tasted like celery. how do you make crab taste like celery?? how??!

59-58: simon/richter

these guys both made the same exact fish recipe, came out at the same time, and proceeded to fight each other. i didn’t get to try any 😭

57-49: every fire emblem character.

genuinely, i can’t tell these guys apart. or their food choices. honestly, my bad. i’m sure they’re good. but where do i even start.

48: sheik

she doesn’t know how to cook. she kidnapped someone else. normally i wouldn’t put someone like that this high but a. i have gender envy b. it’s for the greater good (or so she said)

47: cloud

dude made a great sandwich but he kept screaming random noises while he did. personally, i’m just glad he managed not to destroy the kitchen. that’s a first here.

46: captain falcon

he promised he’d pick up some pizza but got into a car crash on the way there. eventually he got there after the car crash was all sorted out, but got into ANOTHER on the way back. i’m honestly kind of impressed

45: steve

steve could cook an absolutely fucking KILLER meal. he’ll even offer to do it for free. but you shouldn’t let him under any circumstances. he took 13 hours gathering materials and while the wait was, arguably, worth it, i never want to experience it again. (side note: we asked captain falcon to get some pizza while waiting which led to the aforementioned entry)

44: sora

sora doesn’t know how to cook but he’s by far the biggest name at this party. everyone fucking loves him. he’s friends with GOOFY. this dude hangs out with GOOFY. this guys has hung out with GOOFY AND jack sparrow. bad food but i could listen to this guy talk for hours about his story. i’m sure i’ll understand it all.

43-40: pokémon trainer

this guys organization is fucking atrocious. if he can actually get his shit together he’ll cook up some nice vegetarian meals, but that’s a big if.

HONORABLE MENTION: sans mii gunner

sans undertale is a world renowned, famous chef. his recipes are simple, but cooked with such love, care, and finess it turns a simple cheeseburger into a masterpiece. sans undertale would easily top this list. sans mii gunner is not sans undertale. he bought the real sans’ cookbook and thinks he’s some kind of cooking genius. and sure he’s got the recipes but none of the skill to actually make it.

39-38: samus/zero suit samus

hooray! we’re out of bad cook options now. samus is a great cook, but she’s so used to her alien delicacies she doesn’t know how to cook on earth anymore. shame, but i trust her to produce something edible.

37: shulk

he is really good at the grill. unfortunately, he refused to put a shirt on and made everyone a little uncomfy. that being said, he showed me the beach boys and i had never listened to them before. so he gets points.

36-35: pit/dark pit

these guys don’t know how to cook but the flew into the sky and killed some mythical bird for everyone to eat. i couldn’t have any, i’m pescatarian, but everyone else loved it.

34: bayonnetta

she opened a portal to a waffle house and a bunch of demons came flying out. she didn’t make anything, but honestly, absolutely legendary experience that was.

33: duck hunt

you’d think a dog wouldn’t bring anything meaningful. this would be false. that is the freshest duck i’ve ever seen in my entire life. (didn’t eat it: pescatarian)

32: king dedede

he made his legendary homemade mashed potatoes. everyone loved them. so creamy… weirdly perfect. too bad i hate the monarchy. sorry bud.

31: meta knight

meta knight is a great cook and should be higher. but i don’t want him to be. because he’s so fucking pretentious. he sliced all the food in front of everyone and wouldn’t shut up about radiohead. hate this guy.

30-29: daisy/peach

these two put all their private chefs together to make something for everyone. great catering, great food, but they didn’t technically make it. love them.

28: mewtwo

as if mewtwo wouldn’t just read someone’s mind and cook something. but it’s not mewtwo’s food…so…. sorry dude you cheated.

27: dark samus

she really surprised me here. she cooked up the most exquisite alien delicacies i’ve ever tasted in my entire life. should be higher. but unfortunately, i had to get a space parasite removed from my system by regular samus. honestly though… it was worth it.

26: ganon

he was rude to everyone about his cooking skills and wouldn’t stop bragging. asshole am i right? but surprised everyone by grilling his god damn heart out. he’s a bad try hard but like go off i guess.

25: isabelle

she’s trying her absolute fucking best and she deserves the world here. amazing cook, we need to save her from the island.

24: little mac

dude went so hard. brought new york pizza ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK. ok, not literally, but he made a damn good pizza

23: snake

full disclosure: snake doesn’t know how to cook. also no one knows he’s an agent. but he has to cook to blend in so you BEST BELIEVE this man is going to COOK like his life depends on it.

22-20: young link, ness, and lucas

all these guys are incredibly mature for their age. surprised everyone at this party. i had deep and philosophical conversations with all of them about appreciating life. i fucking cried. oh and they made everyone sandwiches, and even took my pescatarianism into account.

19: rosalina

she brought weird space ice cream and i felt my mind expanding as i ate it. love her.

18: mr game and watch

he feels like everyone’s dad! and he’s one of those cooks who cooks in front of everyone. dude flung his meals onto everyone’s plates expertly. love him.

17: joker

originally much lower on this list, joker showed up at my house and attempted to make a grilled cheese and made the worst thing i’ve ever taste. then he said something about gru from despicable me and stood in the corner for an hour. originally i had him towards the bottom but then he doordashed five gigantic burgers, ate all of them in one sitting, and then made me an expensive curry that tasted fantastic. dude went hard.

it was at this point i realized i made a mistake with the numbers. like hell if i’m going to fix the whole thing.

22: zelda

she made some weird food but damn was it pretty to look at! crystals, magic power, i mean good vibes all around here.

21-20: pyra and mythra

i feel like i should put them here since they’re confirmed to be good cooks in the game. but between you and me, i didn’t invite them. i’d consider some entries before this to be better cooks but at this point i’ve been working on this list for 8 hours i do not wanna go back and fix things please i mean this whole list is a joke no one should take this seriously

19: banjo and kazooie

these guys can fucking cook. they’ve been living on their own for a while so it makes sense but it still surprises me. they made a really big stew and even brought free puzzle games.

18: wolf

GRILL MASTER. dude knows what he’s doing on that thing. i’ve never seen better spatula work. holy shit.

17: kirby

kirby came in with some weird blonde hair and made some FANTASTIC ribs (that i didn’t have bc i’m pescatarian). weirdly, gordon ramsey went missing the same day…. i’m sure it means nothing.

16: mario

dude made some absolutely spectacular spaghetti. but he kept talking about how great he is and it really off put some people. kinda weird dude.

15: dr mario. dude brought 50 apples to the potluck. guess he doesn’t wanna see anyone in the office. and he didn’t because we ate them all. take that.

14: min min

she brought some soup dumplings which a lot of people hadn’t had! love her. literally fantastic. she had a whole arm for cooking. that’s what we call efficient.

13: ken

he’s kenough. he is amazing at barbecue. he can cook things with his hands, juggle, also he’s just a fun presence. (i made him make fake meat burgers for me)

12: jigglypuff

she showed up with so many pastries. like so many. not only that, but they were decorative!! she put so much work into that. love her.

11: luigi

he tried to make spaghetti like his brother but a literal fucking meteor slammed into his pot and cracked it. tough luck. then he offered to pay and i refused, but went out and got me some really expensive spaghetti anyways! he’s such a nice guy!! shouldn’t be this high… but i love this guy so much. he’s trying his hardest and i respect that.

10: toon link

toon link didn’t actually make anything. but his mom came and made everyone a salad. and honestly! his mom is some great company. she had so many interesting stories about his childhood. honestly she added so much to the function

9: terry

he is the BARBECUE MASTER!!!! literally what the hell how is he so good! everyone at the party kinda stereotyped him but he’s really really progressive with his views which you wouldn’t think for a big barbecue muscle guy in a baseball cap but everyone loved this guy.

8: mega man

the MASTER CHEF!! literally. he was on master chef. he uses thin round blades to slice vegetables, heats things perfectly, has an instance knowledge of spices, just damn. this guy knows what he’s doing.

7-6: bowser and donkey kong

common misconception: everyone thinks these two would have no idea how to cook. but these are FAMILY GUYS HERE!! they’re providing for absolutely gigantic families, these fuckers know how to make a sandwich and they did. initially they started off making separate sandwiches but they have a really similar recipe and decided to work together. and i really respect that. also turns out peach is just bowser’s kids’ babysitter.

5: palutena.

everyone expected her to show up with some absolutely mystical food. naturally, she showed up with the literal ambrosia of the gods. holy shit. unfortunately, she didn’t put as much effort into it as she could’ve.

4: sephiroth.

ok this guy didn’t really cook anything amazing. but his sheer fucking commitment to the vibe is literally legendary. this man has a long as sword he cut 10 veggies at a time with. he heat them with magic world ending fire. when he was done in the kitchen he surrounded himself with fire and gazed menacingly at me. his sheer commitment to the edge lord aesthetic is truly exemplary.

3: incineroar.

THE GRILLING GOAT!! this man is a grill master. he was prepared to grill ANYTHING. and i mean anything. fish, veggies, meat, fucking grilled cheese. love this guy.

2: wii fit trainer

she made the most well balanced and healthy salad i’ve ever had. and she made it taste extraordinary. she can be a little intense about fitness but i’ve never had a healthier meal in my life. it immediately lowered my extremely high cholesterol.

1. diddy kong

he’s about ten. he made you a pb&j. he had homework to do, but he made you a pb&j. he didn’t have to. he wasn’t asked to. he just wanted to make you a pb&j. he could’ve done anything else but he made you a pb&j. what heartless monster wouldn’t accept it.

[diorsluv]

feather , part 35

“ i’m up, where i’m at ”

series m. list previous chapter

slightly (ish) suggestive again, nothing extremely explicit (kind of)

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, trevorzegras, rutgermcgroarty, and 300,190 others

yourusername i love my boyfriend and his silly little friends

tagged: lhughes_06, markestapa, edwards.73, mackie.samo, dylanduke25, jackhughes, _quinnhughes, trevorzegras, adamfantilli, rutgermcgroarty

view all comments

lhughes_06 why does trevor get his own picture when I’M your boyfriend

→ yourusername it’s because he’s secretly the favorite but don’t tell him i said that

→ lhughes_06 but it makes it look like you’re dating him and not me ☹️

→ yourusername lukey no it doesn’t dw

→ trevorzegras I KNEW I WAS THE FAVORITE

lhughes_06 also you’re so sappy and i love you more

→ yourusername ☺️

rutgermcgroarty “silly little friends” is crazy but we sorta love you too so we’ll let it slide

→ yourusername quit acting like you’re so indifferent to me 🙄

→ rutgermcgroarty luke would beat us up if we professed our love to you

→ lhughes_06 very true

username20 i’ve been waiting MONTHS for this to happen

username9 my cuties

adamfantilli you suck at basketball

→ yourusername it was a 3v1. you’re like 6’2. you’re all men.

→ adamfantilli and??? you would probably lose against mackie’s sisters too

→ mackie.samo is that a dig against my sisters

→ adamfantilli NO i’m just saying that she’s really bad and it doesn’t matter who she plays against 😰😰

→ mackie.samo uh huh… i got my eye on you

username77 there seems to be a recurring trend with the shopping carts..

→ username43 they just love the shopping carts

_quinnhughes burger king??

→ yourusername THE KING OF THE BURGERS 🙏

→ lhughes_06 she wanted a milkshake

→ _quinnhughes so if she wanted to drive your car into a tree would you let her

→ yourusername WHAT no why would he ever let me do that

→ lhughes_06 yes i would and then i’d just buy another car

→ yourusername LUKE NO

mackie.samo you know what would be really funny

→ yourusername i have a feeling it’s not gonna be funny

→ yourusername but go ahead

→ mackie.samo what if barclay and super why came back

→ lhughes_06 who the fuck are barclay and super why

→ lhughes_06 OH WAIT

→ yourusername god i hope not

→ mackie.samo 🫢

→ yourusername ur thinking up some devious shit aren’t u mack

→ lhughes_06 stop praying on our downfall man

luca.fantilli what the flippity flapjacks i’m not in the post

→ yourusername that’s the exact reason you’re not in the post

→ luca.fantilli MAN WHAT THE CRAP

→ yourusername stop this rn

→ adamfantilli mom and dad said they’re disowning you

→ luca.fantilli GOSH DIDDLY DARN IT 😔

→ markestapa what the fuck

username10 NO RESTRICTED COMMENTS THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME

edwards.73 i heard your back break when we all piled on top of you

→ yourusername i’m actually in the hospital rn because of your ass

→ edwards.73 aw my ass is so fat you’re in the hospital!! 😘

→ yourusername ha ha ha. 😒

→ lhughes_06 bro stop trying to seduce my girlfriend

→ edwards.73 I’M NOT THOUGH??!!

→ lhughes_06 THEN LEAVE HER ALONE

username62 tell me why that first pic is so fucking obx coded

→ username27 OH MY GOD IT IS

→ username15 YOU’RE SO RIGHT??

dylanduke25 i’m so hot

→ yourusername yes you are duker 🫶🫶

→ lhughes_06 oh ☹️

→ dylanduke25 you’re so whiny luke YOU’RE LITERALLY DATING HER

colecaufield the leafs hoodie..

→ yourusername i won’t name drop but i think you can tell who it is 😰

→ rutgermcgroarty 🫢

→ markestapa 😱

→ lhughes_06 😟

→ trevorzegras 😥

→ adamfantilli 😧

→ colecaufield WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS IT

→ yourusername he refuses to admit who he is

jackhughes i think my heels touched the back of my head

→ yourusername that’s an outer banks quote if i’ve ever seen one 🫡

→ lhughes_06 jj maybank dupe

→ jackhughes you wish you were a jj maybank dupe lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 you’re not even blond 🙄

username17 how does it feel to LIVE MY DREAM luke 😔

→ yourusername i’m willing to split my love between you and luke 🫶

markestapa posting me shirtless while dating my best friend?? scandalous 😱

→ yourusername stop trying to instigate random shit mark

username98 too cute 💗

elblue6 you two never change 💖💖

→ yourusername ily mama hughes 🥰

→ lhughes_06 mom i lost a sock

_alexturcotte crazy how i’m not in ANY of the pictures 😊😊😊

→ yourusername all you boys are so needy

lhughes_06

liked by yourusername, jamie.drysdale, jackhughes, and 310,102 others

lhughes_06 my favorite dates with my girl 💘

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

yourusername stop it you’re making me blush 🤬

→ lhughes_06 that was the point baby

msamoskevich this is so unaesthetic

→ lhughes_06 like you could do better???

→ msamoskevich i could actually

→ yourusername THAT’S WHAT I KEEP TELLING HIM

→ msamoskevich babe you gotta fix your man

→ yourusername i’ll make him my little aesthetic boy don’t you worry

→ lhughes_06 should i be scared

→ msamoskevich be terrified 😍

username86 they’re actually so in love that it physically pains me

username20 horrible taste in froyo but it’s okay they’re cute together

markestapa pottery..???

→ lhughes_06 shut up it makes her happy

→ yourusername shut up it makes me happy

→ markestapa i’m shutting up because it makes you happy 🙄

→ lhughes_06 yay

→ yourusername yay

edwards.73 GO KARTS

→ lhughes_06 ik u wanna be us so bad

→ edwards.73 I DO

→ yourusername fanboy type shit

_quinnhughes you guys are always teaming up against all of us

→ lhughes_06 and???

→ yourusername you got a problem with it??

→ _quinnhughes yes i do actually

→ lhughes_06 suck it up

→ yourusername walk it off

username4 i need someone to take me on a date like luke does with our lil drizz

username31 those toppings…

trevorzegras 🤮

→ lhughes_06 😑

→ yourusername ☹️

→ jackhughes 🤮

→ _quinnhughes 🤮

→ rutgermcgroarty 🤮

→ markestapa 🤮

→ _alexturcotte 🤮

→ jamie.drysdale 🤮

→ luca.fantilli 🤮

→ mackie.samo 🤮

→ adamfantilli 🤮

→ dylanduke25 🤮

→ edwards.73 🤮

→ colecaufield 🤮

→ lhughes_06 goddammit

adamfantilli god i hate you both

→ lhughes_06 🤯

→ yourusername the feeling is mutual!!! 😘

→ lhughes_06 why the kissy face 🤨🤨

→ yourusername I’M SORRY

→ lhughes_06 it’s okay 😁

username22 MY CUTIES

username15 gross yuck barf vomit (oh my god he’s so in love)

username49 buy the ring rn luke.

rutgermcgroarty if you don’t stop posting about each other holy shit

→ lhughes_06 me and my girl at your service 🫡

→ yourusername me and my man at your service 🫡

→ rutgermcgroarty do you just copy everything he says

→ yourusername do you just get on my nerves to piss me off

→ rutgermcgroarty i can’t believe you just found that out

dylanduke25 you should see our dms

→ lhughes_06 oh god

→ yourusername THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH OUR DMS

→ dylanduke25 yeah except you complain to me every time he breathes in a girl’s direction

→ yourusername THATS NOT TRUE

→ lhughes_06 awww you’re jealous?

→ yourusername NO

→ lhughes_06 it’s okay to be a little jealous sometimes i know it’s hard

→ yourusername SHUT UP I DONT GET JEALOUS

luca.fantilli WE GET IT UR DATING

→ lhughes_06 WE GET IT UR JEALOUS

→ luca.fantilli 🖕

username57 pop quiz who hates dryshughes the most

→ lhughes_06 trick question they all hate us equally

jamie.drysdale my sister won’t stop talking about you MAKE HER SHUT UP

→ lhughes_06 i have a lot of ways i can shut her up

→ jamie.drysdale OH GOD EW NO GROSS

→ yourusername LUKE

→ _quinnhughes LUKE

→ jackhughes LUKE

→ lhughes_06 WHAT ITS NOT LIKE IM LYING

mackie.samo IS THAT GO KARTING DATE THE REASON SHE SKIPPED OUR WEEKLY SPONGEBOB MARATHON

→ lhughes_06 ……….no……?

→ mackie.samo LUKE WARREN HUGHES

→ lhughes_06 THERES NO NEED FOR THE GOVERNMENT NAME

colecaufield aw you two are adorable

→ lhughes_06 you’re like the uncle no one invited to the family reunion

→ colecaufield absolutely uncalled for

→ yourusername LUKEY WHAT

→ lhughes_06 that was a bit mean i apologize

→ colecaufield just a bit huh???

jackhughes apparently mom shows dad every single post you make about lil drizz

→ lhughes_06 i know he keeps texting me about it

→ _quinnhughes he has like 20 burner accounts so he can like all your posts

→ lhughes_06 wait WHAT

→ lhughes_06 is that who keeps liking my posts like a second after i post them

username83 remember the song quoting era yall were so cute trying to be slick

username50 wondering when luke will finally start sharing his gf

→ lhughes_06 never

_alexturcotte so you’re like her uber driver

→ lhughes_06 i guess so

→ _alexturcotte you guess so?? 😭

→ lhughes_06 i mean i’m also like her golfer

→ _alexturcotte golfer????

→ lhughes_06 i fill her holes up pretty good too

this reply has been deleted

→ yourusername LUKE WHAT THE FUCK

→ jackhughes bro we all saw that

→ markestapa THERES NO POINT IN DELETING IT CUZ TURCS SENT A SS IN THE GC

→ trevorzegras YOU’RE NOT FUCKING SLICK MY DUDE

→ lhughes_06 maybe i’m not but she is fs trevorzegras

→ rutgermcgroarty UR JUST MAKING IT WORSE MAN

→ jamie.drysdale GOOD FUCKING LORD THATS MY SISTER

→ adamfantilli WHAT THE HELLLLL 🗣️

series m. list notes ) so TECHNICALLY this is the epilogue and the last chapter of the feather au (it doesn’t really feel like it is) but i mean i’m ofc going to be open to you guys sending requests and thoughts about my dryshughes babies because we all love them too much and i might also add more bonus chapters like later on and stuff but yeah!! i guess this is the end… for now 😈

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02 @ho3forfakeguys@loveforaugust@cstads-blog@h0e4fictionalme-n@bunting58

[corroded-hellfire]

Just a Spark - Eddie Munson x Reader

A Collaboration with my beloved kindred spirit @munson-blurbs🤍

Summary: Eddie takes his sons to watch fireworks at Lover's Lake for the Fourth of July. But when he notices you there with some friends, including some male friends, he can't help but be jealous.

Note: Thank you to my dearest @joejoequinnquinn for loving jealous!eddie as much as I do and for coming up with this lovely idea! I still find it funny that it's a Fourth of July fic and you do not live in the US, lol. I hope you all enjoy and happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans 💙

Warnings: older!eddie, dad!eddie, babysitter!reader, eddie being jealous hehe

Words: 3.9k

[As You Wish masterlist]

It wasn’t often that Hawkins held activities that appealed to the whole town. The haunted houses around Halloween only appealed to the teenagers, the winter wonderlands at Christmas only mattered to young children, and the Thanksgiving Parade was something that everyone swears they got dragged along to against their will. Fourth of July in Hawkins was the one day a year that could be counted on to bring people of all ages out to Lover’s Lake for sunshine in the afternoon and fireworks at night. 

Kids would splash and swim together in the shallow area of the lake while their parents watched from picnic blankets spread out not too far away. Teens and college students would come with their friends, the college kids drinking beer out in the open while the teenagers had to hide sips behind a tree or behind a friend’s back. 

It was a tradition in the Munson household to grill up some hamburgers and bring them down to eat at the lake while they watched the fireworks. This particular year things seem to be off-track, though. Brittany had left the house early in the afternoon to run a few errands and pick up some charcoal for the grill so that Eddie could cook the hamburgers. After being gone far too long for just saying she was heading to a few stores, the phone rings and Brittany gives Eddie some sob story about how she ran into her sister who’s having a crisis and she needs to stay with her for a while. Eddie just sighed as he hung up, thinking to himself that at least Brittany wasn’t dumb enough to say it had something to do with work when banks are closed because it’s a national holiday. The only problem—because going out with his boys without his wife was certainly not a problem—he ran into now was that he didn’t have time to run out and get charcoal and make the burgers before they were going to leave for the lake. 

Improvising, Eddie swings through a Burger King drive-through on the way, making sure the three of them would still keep their tradition intact as much as possible. The boys don’t seem to mind the differences between this year and last, maybe just glad to have a chance to hang out with their dad while they did something as cool as watch fireworks. 

Eddie pulls his truck into the already-crowded parking lot and grabs the bag of fast food. As he and the boys get out, people walk by carrying coolers, picnic baskets, and a few types of inner tubes to use in the water. There are tons of people there—which Eddie expected. He takes Luke’s hand into his own and instructs Ryan to grab onto Luke’s other so they don’t lose anyone. 

“Eddie!” A familiar voice calls out and has Eddie whipping around to spot its owner. He quickly sees the Sinclairs; Lucas is waving with his left hand to get Eddie’s attention, with Tiffany on his right hip. 

Eddie nudges the boys. “Look who’s here!” Their eyes widen when they notice Uncle Lucas—who Eddie swears is his younger son’s namesake and certainly isn’t Luke Skywalker—along with Aunt Max and their baby. They practically pull Eddie across the lot to them. 

Clapping Lucas’s hand and pulling him in for a modified bro-hug so he doesn’t crash into Tiffany, Eddie offers his long-time friend a grin. “How have you guys been?” he asks as he gives Max a hug. 

“Good. Tired.” Max says with a laugh. “Tiffany slept through the night for about three days before she started teething.”

“Aww, poor thing,” Eddie coos, chuckling when Tiffany proves her mother’s point by grabbing Eddie’s finger and gnawing on it. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t last as long as it seems,” he reassures the new parents. 

“We’re just headed out,” Lucas explains, kissing his daughter’s cheek. “It’s this little lady’s bedtime, and we’ve gotta get home before the fireworks start.”

“We have no idea how she’ll react to them, and we’re not about to conduct that experiment in public,” Max chimes in, making Eddie laugh again. “But we’ll see you at Ryan’s birthday party next week!”

The Munsons and Sinclairs part with goodbyes and more hugs before Eddie and the boys head towards the lake. 

“I wanna sit near the water!” Luke insists, and Eddie winces at his high-pitched whine. 

“Think we might get a better view of the fireworks if we sit up a little higher.” It’s the truth; plus, he won’t have to worry about Luke flinging himself into the cesspool that Hawkins calls a lake. 

They find a shady spot right under a tree, and Eddie lays out three beach towels so they won’t have to sit in the dirt. He passes out the parchment-wrapped burgers and little bags of fries and sits back with a sigh. This is what he’d always wanted—family traditions with his boys. If only…

“Has anyone seen my sunscreen?”

Eddie freezes mid-bite, only remembering that he has a burger in his hand when his arm starts to ache from being in one position too long. He chews and swallows as though nothing happened, but his mind is racing. 

It can’t be, he thinks. He’s almost certain that this is all in his imagination—God knows he can’t get you out of his head—until he hears someone say your name. 

Just one look, Eddie convinces himself. A quick peek so I can see that it’s not actually her; just someone who sounds like her and has the same name…

His stomach flip-flops when he glances over and sees you in a low-cut red tank top and cutoff denim shorts. Oh, shit, it’s her. And she looks really, really good. He takes a deep breath, trying to gather his scrambled thoughts. He wishes he had a six-pack; a cold beer can always calm his jangled nerves. Okay, I can’t let the boys see. Once that happens, she’ll come over here and—

Eddie’s anxious thought is disrupted by the sight of one of the three guys you’re with applying sunscreen to the back of your neck. He’s got long, light brown hair—though not as long or luscious as his own, Eddie notes wryly. 

Long Hair spends far too much time massaging the lotion into your skin. Calm down, Buffalo Bill. She doesn’t need that much sun protection. 

The only other girl there plucks the lotion bottle from Long Hair’s hands, much to Eddie’s relief, and Eddie turns his attention back to his boys. “You guys ready for the fireworks?” He tries to keep the enthusiasm in his voice. “Sun’s setting, so they’ll be starting soon.”

Ryan nods, chewing on a fry. “I wonder what colors they’ll have,” he muses. 

“Well, I wonder what would happen if I sat on a firework!” Luke pipes up with a mouthful of burger. “Like, would I fly into the sky? Or would it blow up in my butt?”

Eddie laughs loudly. “My money’s on the second one, little man.”

Your laughter floats over to Eddie on the breeze blowing off of the lake. He mentally berates himself, thinking of how he should be enjoying this family tradition with his boys and not be wondering if any of those guys you’re with are your boyfriend or if you’re sleeping with any of them or if…

“Daddy, what’s wrong?”

“Hmm?” Eddie looks up at Ryan’s worried face and frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Your lip,” Ryan says, pointing at the bottom half of his father’s face. “You were chewing on it, and it started bleeding.”

“Silly me,” Eddie says with a forced chuckle. He grabs one of the napkins from the Burger King bag and dabs at his lower lip. Luke has shifted to watch a game of volleyball happening on a court that someone set up and it gives Eddie the opportunity to scoot closer between his boys, so his back is to you and your friends. Maybe now he’ll be able to focus. 

It works for a while. The three of them finish their burgers and Luke is immediately complaining that he’s still hungry. Eddie tells the five-year-old he has to wait and tries to play a game with them to distract his youngest son from his rumbling tummy before the fireworks start. 

“Simon says put your hands on your head. Simon says give your brother a high five,” Eddie instructs as the boys eagerly await the next command. “Simon says stand up. Sit back down. Ah! I didn’t say ‘Simon says!’”

“I win!” Ryan cheers as Luke sprawls out on his beach towel with a groan. The familiar twinkling tune of an ice cream truck approaching has him bolting up, though. 

“Ice cream?” Luke stands up and balances on his tippy toes to get a better view at the parking lot. When his suspicions are confirmed, he hops up and down. “Ice cream! Daddy, can we get some? Pleeeeease?”

“Okay, okay,” Eddie says as if it’s a hardship for him to indulge his boys when in reality he’d already planned on getting ice cream for them at some point tonight. “Get me some too, okay?”

“Cookies and cream?” Ryan asks, citing his dad’s favorite flavor.

“Atta boy,” Eddie says, handing him a ten-dollar bill. Luke starts to walk away and towards the truck, but Eddie stops him with an, “ah-ah-ah. It’s crowded here. I don’t want you to lose each other so hold your brother’s hand.” When Luke opens his mouth to respond, a frown creasing his forehead and his nose wrinkling up, Eddie halts the whining before it even happens. “Hold your brother’s hand.”

“Fine,” Luke huffs and offers his hand to Ryan in the most limp, unenthusiastic manner possible. 

The two walk off and Eddie adjusts his position so he can keep an eye on his sons as they snake their way through the crowd and over to the ice cream truck that already has a line of a few kids in front of it. But from this new angle, Eddie can also see you out of the corner of his eye. A breath rushes out of him as if he’d been holding it since his eyes were last on you. Seeing you makes Eddie calmer and more tense at the same time. As always, your presence brings him comfort and happiness. But you’re with a bunch of guys your own age and the jealousy monster is rearing its ugly head like nobody’s business. Eddie looks down at his lap and his eye catches on his wedding ring, glinting in the fading sun.

“You’re a fucking hypocrite, Munson,” Eddie mumbles to himself. 

Unable to not look in your direction—I swear to God she’s got something magnetic about her, he thinks—Eddie sees you gazing out over the lake. You raise your hand above your eyes to shield them from the bright, falling sun and look around the whole area where people have settled in to have fun. Eddie’s just about to look away, not wanting to risk being caught staring at you if you spot him, when he sees one of your guy friends walking over to you. It’s not Long Hair from before. This guy is shorter and as muscly as the other guy was scrawny. Eddie can hear him calling your name, but you must be too caught up in your thoughts to hear him. Muscles reaches out and touches your arm to get your attention. As if seeing him just touching you isn’t bad enough, Eddie watches as you turn around to face Muscles, but the guy still doesn’t take his hand off of you. The tanned, muscular hand is slowly moving down your arm and a knot grows in Eddie’s stomach. If this asshole takes your hand, Eddie feels like he might throw up the burger he’s barely started digesting. 

Luckily, you move to walk back towards your group of friends before Muscles’s hand could reach yours. Eddie feels twenty pounds lighter. He turns back to look towards the parking lot and sees his sons approaching, Ryan holding an ice cream in each hand, and Luke holding one and holding onto the back of Ryan’s red t-shirt with the other hand. By the way his youngest son is rolling his eyes as they approach, Eddie realizes it was Ryan’s idea that Luke holds on to him. 

Ryan hands Eddie his scoop of cookies and cream, plopping back down to enjoy the mint chip cone he’d bought for himself. 

“DAD! OH MY GOD, DAD!!” Luke shouts, and Eddie nearly drops his cone. 

“What? What’s wrong?”

Luke points down towards the left. “Look at that doggy! He’s so cute!” Sure enough, a middle-aged couple is walking a golden retriever along the lake. Both boys sit up a bit straighter and watch as the owners toss a tennis ball into the water and the dog eagerly paddles after it. 

As Eddie’s heart rate steadies to a normal pace—seriously, he’s going to have to talk with Luke about using his “emergency voice” when it is not an emergency—he finds his gaze drifting back to you. He’s just in time to see Long Hair take the baseball cap from his own head and put it on top of yours. Eddie silently wills you to take it off, chuck it into the lake, set it on fire…but he’s utterly disappointed when you adjust it to your head and wear it proudly. 

Would she wear something of mine if I gave it to her? He silently wonders. He’s so engrossed in whatever flirtatious games you’re playing that he barely hears his older son trying to get his attention. 

“Daddy, your ice cream is leaking over the cone. Daddy! It’s getting runny and gonna drip! Daddy?”

“And whaddya keep looking that way for? The lake is that way!” Luke chimes in, face covered in cotton candy ice cream. 

“Y-Yeah, sorry, guys,” Eddie mumbles, but he keeps his gaze locked on you. A blonde guy wearing a puka shell necklace like he’s on Hawaii Five-0 points to a beach volleyball net that’s just been vacated, and you and your friends follow him. 

It’s two versus two; Muscles is serving as a referee for this game. You and Puka Shell are on a team, and Long Hair and the only other girl in your group stand on the other side of the net. You serve, the girl returns it, Puka Shell lobbies it to you, and you spike it back, surprising yourself. 

Eddie clenches his fist until he feels the ice cream cone begin to break when your teammate wraps his arms around you in a hug. Jesus H. Christ, whatever happened to high-fives? But he knows that he’d envy any little touch these guys got from you. 

He tries to distract himself, asking Ryan if he’s excited for his birthday, but he’s only half-listening. 

“What do you want for a gift?” he asks, raising his eyebrows when his sons look at him curiously. “What?”

“I just said I wanted a new Lego set,” Ryan says. He’s not annoyed, just confused. “Are you feeling okay, Daddy?”

“Maybe he has scurvy,” Luke suggests, “like the pirates in that movie we watched.”

“‘M fine,” Eddie reassures them. It takes a second for him to register what Luke’s suggested. “Did you just say I had scurvy?”

There’s no time for Luke to elaborate—not that Eddie necessarily wants him to—before your joyous squeal filters through the air. It seems as though you and Puka Shell won the game, because he’s twirling you around triumphantly. 

Does she want him picking her up? Touching her? Eddie’s inner monologue runs wild. Okay, she’s laughing and smiling, so that’s good. She’s fine with it; yeah, so that’s fine. Everything’s fine. We’re all fine here. She’s with her friends, I’m a married man here with my kids, and that’s all there is to it. 

The whistle and boom of the first firework lighting the sky is a welcome distraction. Ryan lets out a gasp as he stares in awe of the red shooting through the dark sky. Luke scoots backwards and plops himself in Eddie’s lap. He leans against Eddie’s chest and lays his head back on his shoulder as he becomes engrossed in the spectacle. It’s been a while since Luke’s sat in his lap like this, so it brings a smile to Eddie’s face. 

Mixtures of red, white, and blue fireworks crackle through the air, occasionally making shapes other than the usual spherical pattern that shimmies down. Eddie looks over at Ryan, who has a bright grin on his face. The red firework currently popping off leaves a scarlet shadow behind on his older son’s face. Beyond Ryan, Eddie glimpses a view of you watching the fireworks. You’re still with your friends, but you’re sitting a little bit in front of them with your legs crossed and your elbows resting on your knees. There’s a peaceful joy on your face and it makes Eddie’s heart give a few thumps harder than usual. Your friends behind you are talking but you couldn’t seem to care less about what they’re saying. You’re solely focused on the show in the sky. Eddie looks back at his kids and sees them just as mesmerized by the bursting colors. Luke snuggles back against his chest and Eddie is filled with warmth. He wraps his arms loosely around Luke and rests his head against his son’s smaller one as he looks up and joins in watching the celebration. 

By the time the fireworks are done, Eddie’s pretty sure his hearing is damaged. Didn’t I used to play in a metal band? Jesus, I’m getting old. Luke springs up from his dad’s lap and Ryan stands up and stretches his arms out over his head, releasing a long yawn. 

“How was that?” Eddie asks as he collects the beach towels they had been sitting on.

“So cool!” Luke says, jumping as if to emphasize his point. 

“I like the ones that make the fizzy noises as they go out,” Ryan says as he picks up the empty Burger King bag and balls it up in his hands. 

“My favorite are the ones that go pheeeeew,” Luke attempts to mimic the whistle, “then BANG!”

“What about you, Daddy?” Ryan asks. 

“Hmm,” Eddie hums as he considers the question. “The ones that were shaped like circles. They looked pretty cool. Okay, now come on and take my hands, guys. It’s gonna be like a stampede getting out of here.” Eddie tucks the towels under one arm and offers a hand to each son. 

They only make it about five steps before Luke is groaning. “It’s going to take forever to—hey! Look!”

Both Eddie and Ryan turn their heads to look in the direction that Luke is pointing. Eddie’s heart stalls in his chest. Luke’s grinning from ear to ear as he notices you walking with your friends. Ryan gives a gasp of delight when his eyes land on you as well. 

“I’m gonna go say hi!” Luke exclaims, and he’s already halfway to you before Eddie can even open his mouth. 

“Luke, I—ugh, shit.” Eddie mumbles the last part under his breath as he leads Ryan by the hand over to you and your friends. Luke is already in your arms by the time they get there. 

“And then the red one went higher than all the others! And I think it had the loudest boom, too,” Luke is saying. You look up and the brightest smile lights up your face as you see Eddie and Ryan standing there. 

“Hey, strangers,” you greet and Ryan dives in for a hug. You chuckle and wrap your arms around him too. 

Long Hair is standing to the side, slightly closer to Eddie than he is to you, and the rest of your friends are behind you. He gives a small chuckle at the intensity of the hugs the kids give you before turning to Eddie and saying, “You want a hug, too?”

You jab Long Hair in the ribs with your elbow, but that only makes him chuckle more and wrap an arm around you to pull you back against him. This time, Eddie notices, you don’t have the same enthusiastic grin that you had earlier in the evening. It takes everything in his power not to pry you from his arms. 

“I’ll see you guys on Monday, yeah?” you ask the Munson men, desperate to fill the silence. 

“Usual time and place,” Eddie says. The words would usually be accompanied by a wink or a smirk, but something about being around these college guys is grating on his nerves and it’s the closest he’s felt to being intimidated since he was a senior in high school—the first time. 

“Bye!” both boys call and wave at you before walking away with their dad. You wave in return, but it looks pitiful compared to their enthusiastic ones. 

As soon as they’re out of earshot, you pull out of your friend's arm and spin around to face him. “Peter, do you ever shut up?”

“Calm down,” Peter says, exhaling a sound that’s a mixture of a laugh and a scoff. “This guy’s old enough to be your dad.”

Tony smirks and rests a muscled arm on Paul’s shoulder. “Maybe she’s into the whole ‘daddy’ thing.”

The eye roll you give them is involuntary. “You guys are assholes!” 

Turning on your flip flop heel, you spin in the other direction and jog a bit until you catch up with Eddie and the boys. 

“Hey! Where are you going?” Paul asks.

A soft, gentle hand lands on Eddie’s shoulder and he looks back to see you offering him an apologetic smile. 

“I’m sorry if my friends were weird…and I’m sorry if I’m making this weirder.”

Eddie’s entire demeanor changes; despite having to watch you flirt with those douchebags—and then being mocked by them—he can’t help but soften towards you. “Nah, Sweetheart, you’re good. Be safe tonight, okay?” Be safe? Seriously, Munson? What are you, her grandpa?

You don’t seem to notice the way he bites his tongue, trying to quell the surge of embarrassment. “I always am,” you say reassuringly. “See you Monday?”

Eddie nods as you turn around to head back to your friends, utterly oblivious to the way your natural beauty outshines the brightest firework tonight. You’re everything he could ever want, but you’re young and gorgeous with a million better prospects than an old married man. 

He takes one last look at you before he brings the boys to the car. The passenger seat is empty, and he wears a sad smile when he thinks about you sitting there, excitedly chatting with him and the kids about the evening. Eddie would rest his hand on your thigh while he drives back home, and once Ryan and Luke are sound asleep, you and Eddie could make some fireworks of your own. 

Shaking his head, Eddie pulls out from the parking spot and braces himself for the holiday traffic. He grumbles some swear words under his breath, flicking on the radio to the first station that doesn’t have commercials. 

“…say I’m not so tough, just because I’m in love with an uptown girl.”

He leans back in his seat and taps out the rhythm on the steering wheel. Funny, he’s never really been a Billy Joel fan, but something about this song reminds him of—

“Dad! Luke’s looking at me!”

“He looked at me first!”

“Both of you close your eyes,” Eddie orders. He can’t see whether or not they listened, but the squabbling stopped, so he’ll consider it a victory. 

“Uptown girl, she’s my uptown girl…”

[bolshefem]

if you think people are more empathetic to women than men you are straight up fucking delusional. men have proved themself almost INCAPABLE of empathy for women, and this is statistically and empirically supported. they are incapable of understanding that women have an internal life, do not see us as humans with emotions who exist external to them. look at the comments on a post of a man talking about self harm vs a woman. "men's mental health matters too🥺" "I'm proud of you" vs "attention whore" "sideways for attention downwards for results" "ugly bitch trying to get sympathy"

this is what happens for ANYTHING regarding sexual assault, mental health, suffering, trauma.

or an overweight man vs woman "keep your head up king👑" "you got this bro, I believe in you" "these women don't deserve you." (like totally unprompted not discussing relationships) Or often no comments on his weight at all if he's not talking about it. For a woman, no matter WHAT she is posting about "landwhale" "starve yourself" "put down the burger" "kys fat b*tch" and the most vile and insanely cruel comments The amount of threads and forums dedicated to eviscerating degrading and insulting overweight women on places like lolcow and kiwi farms and just social media in general and I genuinely have never seen one for a man. Same thing with things like facial deformities, the comments are unbelievably cruel to these women.

the level of vitriol is not even remotely comparable, and I don't even think it's mostly a double standard. I think they just lack the capacity to feel empathy towards women and perceive them as human and capable of feeling pain. Things are solely perceived in how they relate to them and thought to be performances for men. Women exist to serve them and if they don't give them a boner they don't deserve to be alive. If something, no matter how innocuous, pisses them off in the slightest they don't have a single qualm because they just don't view them as real people and full human beings with internal lives. women having emotions is inherently manipulative, anything they say or do is a performance for men. And like look at things such as the gender credibility gap https://www.tedxmilehigh.com/gender-credibility-gap/ Women are systematically less believed as witnesses in a courtroom, reporters, academic authorities, in claims of sexual assault, discrimination, or harassment.*

Women's reports of pain symptoms are less likely to be believed by doctors, and they are staggering more likely to not receive proper medication, go undiagnosed and untreated. Women are 32% more likely to die post-op if their surgeon is a man. "Womens' pain not taken as seriously as mens' pain. Researchers found that when male and female patients expressed the same amount of pain, observers viewed female patients' pain as less intense "(sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/04/210406164124.htm) "Nearly three-quarters of cases where a disease primarily affects one gender, the so-called “men's diseases” are overfunded, while the “women's diseases” are dramatically underfunded."

https://www.concernusa.org/story/gender-bias-in-healthcare/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/interactive/2022/women-pain-gender-bias-doctors/ https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/gender-bias-in-medical-diagnosis#how-does-it-affect-diagnosis https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/women-and-pain-disparities-in-experience-and-treatment-2017100912562 I could literally go on on this topic forever. The gender empathy gap is a form of epistemic violence against women.

* "Suicidal behaviour and self-harm in women can be viewed by family, health professionals and the community as attention-seeking, manipulative and non-serious, which can negatively influence how young women are treated." (Curtis, 2016) *Men with overweight tend to be perceived as wise or experienced, while women's credibility tends to decrease with excess weight... women seem to experience higher levels of weight stigmatization than men, even at lower levels of excess weight (Flint et al., 2016)

*Women are at greater risk for weight/height discrimination than men (Puhl et al, 2008)

*so many papers on this but "Across the board, women are perceived to be less credible than men. Especially women’s testimonies of rape and sexual harassment are widely trivialized and disregarded, even though reports of sexual abuse are not more likely to be false than reports of other crimes" (Schreurs, 2020) more like Mack, 1993

[i-am-church-the-cat]

Logan Sargeant is a silly little guy

@vii-tto idk why but it wouldn't let me tag you. Hopefully you see this. also @spell-of-the-rain i added things if you want to check out 75-87

But here's the list of things i know/want to know about logan sargeant

Favorite Actor is Brad Pitt

Favorite Movie is Wolf of Wall Street

Favorite food is a hamburger

Has a boat and often goes deep sea fishing

Lived in London since he was 15

Lose Yourself by Eminem is his favorite hype up song

Is a Dolphins and Heat fan

Enjoyed “No Man, No Cry” by Jimmy Sax

Drinks iced lattes with oat milk

Pumpkin spice lattes?? Edit 12/16/23: No

Has been to Wimbledon

Knows what cricket is

Has a rescue dog named Coco

Also enjoys hockey Edit 11/1/23: Supports the Florida Panthers NHL team and has gone to at least 1 of their games with his friend Kyle Kirkwood

Does he follow college football?

What does he think of the new Miami head coach? 

If not for motorsport, does he think he would have gone pro in a different sport, and if so which one?

Enjoys listening to 50 Cent (is also a big rap fan in general)

Can he speak any other languages with any degree of familiarity?

Cannot draw

Can make a sandwich (other foods?)

Rates all food from one bite and with weird decimals

Gritty-ed in his f1 car

Makes the Williams photographers look like they take good photos

Does he have an English or a Florida driver’s license? And does he still have US citizenship even though he lives in the UK? What kind of visa is he on?

Top three female athletes? (Serena Williams, Simone Biles, and Megan Rapinoe are all acceptable answers) 

Collects Aussies and Kiwis for friends

Does he like the snow? Prefers the heat but does he like snow?

Does he like Missy Elliot? (Requirement) 

“Basic Halloween Bitch”

Calls people “mate” but in an American accent which will never stop being funny

Eye Crinkles™️

Does not have a set eye color he’s just too mystical for that

Has never been to a concert (presumably too busy with racing)

He can swim, he can drive, but can he ride a bike? Edit 11/15/23: He can indeed ride a bike

American commercial cars or  European ones?

Has an older brother but is like an older brother to Benny’s kid

Likes marshmallows

Does not like black beans

Did not think apple could be chips

Knows how to sail??

Knows how to golf

Can paddle (required for any F1 driver)

Lost the F3 championship in 2020 bc of a DNF in the last race

Can he sing??

Does he drink energy drinks? Red Bull or Monster? 

He and Duracell are passionately making out

Blush is very pretty 

Wears a lot of baseball hats

Somehow beat jet lag (expat king)

Mostly spends his nights in but he has some nights out (presumably very interesting ones)

Has an iPhone with a blue case

He looks very pretty in blue

His eyes are sometimes blue

Blue=fav color?? Edit 11/6/23: favorite color is Ocean blue (credit to @spell-of-the-rain)

Pretty insecure (armchair diagnosed anxiety)

Close with his brother and parents but maybe not his extended family?

Is Florida State his college team?? (Worst thing a man can be is a Florida St fan) Edit 12/16/23: believing that FSU got screwed over this year is acceptable

Did he graduate high school??

Did he ever consider going into NASCAR or did moving to Europe at a young age kind of set in stone his path towards open-wheel racing?

Hair is blond/dirty blond

Does he vote in American elections?? (If he supports RonD I cannot stan)

Burger Sauce™️

Logan Hunter Sargeant, certified Frat Bro, most American man ever

Has seen peaky blinder and presumably stranger things

Knows how to carve a pumpkin but has not celebrated Halloween at home in a bit

Possibly dating some instagram model

Caused $4 million in damages, gets payed $1 million a year, and supposedly brings in $30 million in sponsors

Key phrases: “Locked in”, “Bam/Boom”, “Done and dusted” Additions 11/1/23: "Oh hell yeah", "I think you're a little lost here, Chief". Additions 11/6/23: “Yeh” (gets quieter throughout the word (how it’s one syllable??)), “on the bounce” (credit to @spell-of-the-rain i believe)

Joined the Williams Driver Academy in 2021 

Got stuck in F3 bc he didn’t have the money to move up

Driver for Carlin in 2022

Former teammates include Liam Lawson, Oscar Piastri, Frederick Vesti (Edit 11/6/23: Max Fewtrell possibly?)

DOB: December 31, 2000

5'11

Had a giveaway for gloves he used to win an F4 race on Twitter in 2017 and both Lando Norris and Max Fewtrell replied

Originally his number was 3 but he switched to 2 for F1 (to much fan consternation who thought he had so many better options)

Childhood best friends with Kyle Kirkwood, a current Indycar driver

Logan's older brother Dalton raced in NASCAR until 2018

Did a commercial for Sport23

Does not have cowboy boots as of COTA 2023

Born in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, USA

lived in Switzerland from 14-15(?)

knows the conversion rate for a kilometer

is taller than a tuna fish

Podiumed at the Macau Grand Prix in 2019

Won the CIK-FIA championship when he was 14 Additions as of 11/1/23

Loves waffles but they are not his favorite dessert

Very patriotic (oh hell yeah)

is the first American F1 point scorer in 30 years and the first one to score on home soil since 1989

Went to see the Nets in NYC (but would have preferred to see the Knicks)

has a custom Miami Dolphins jersey with his last name on the back

Claims to know all the lyrics to "Ice Ice Baby" (credit to @formulaaone) (Edited 11/6/23)

Additions as of 11/6/23:

Under the same talent agency as Alex Albon

Has the same manager as George Russell

George Russell was his mentor coming up

Went to a catholic private school (credit to @wenevrknew)

Does not like fish? (Credit to @spell-of-the-rain)

He runs weird (in my opinion as he reminds me of my brother when he was 12 (he ran very strangely))

Karted in Las Vegas when he was a kid

Can he drive a stick shift? (Alex believes he cannot)

Enjoys video games

Refers to his car as “she”

Knew how to attach a visor to his helmet prior to February(? Could’ve been March but before the season) 2023

Additions as of 12/16/23

Broke his arm in a 2014 German Karting Championship when Marcus Armstrong took him out at T1 (credit to @spell-of-the-rain )

Has gotten his head eaten by the Golden Knights mascot

If he could have any superpower, he would like to teleport

Has never flown a drone

Favorite racing movie is Talladega Nights (sad Mater noises)

Does not trust other people to drive him

Would rather sleep in then get up early

Considers himself fairly organized

His mother makes a very good sweet potato casserole

Got his habit of worrying from his mom

“Santa’s Little Helper”

Driving for Williams Racing Formula 1 Team in 2024

Got out qualified by his teammate every race of 2023

[noirvette]

WE NEVER EXISTED

[band smau]

[FIFTEEN]

masterlist.

prev. | next.

Note: haha... it's a long one guys..

The concert had ended and you couldn't help but think it was the most fun night of your life. South Park certainly knew how to draw in a crowd and give a band their best experience ever. Endorphins running through your body at an all time high, you felt happy, light, floaty in a way. Like nothing could ever tear you down.

"What a night!" Clyde exclaimed, tossing his drumsticks in the air, doing some random juggling routine with them.

Nichole hummed a noise of agreement, "Right! I don't think I've seen so many people of South Park in one place before."

Everyone nodded at Nichole's statement.

"Well, I for one am beat," Stan sighed out, before taking a sip of his water, "I don't think I've sang that many high notes in my life before in one concert."

"You did a good job bro," Kyle slapped his hand on Stan's back, rubbing his shoulder a bit, "You all did."

Clyde stared at the scene in front of him before turning to you mouth open wide in shock before looking back at Stan and Kyle, "Oh my god they're making out in front of us guys!"

You stifled your laugh as Stan turns to Kyle make obnoxious kissing noises towards him, "Style will be real in 10 seconds."

Kyle scoffed and turned to find a place to sit down and Stan threw his arms around Kyle's waist, "NOOOO babe don't leave meeeeee."

"Oh my god you weirdo," Kyle rolled his eyes in mock annoyance, "Fine, fine I'll sit with you, scooch over."

Stan does so and Kyle sits besides him, "Well we've got some downtime before the truck guys come to grab our equipment, what do you guys wanna do?"

"FOOD. OH FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING PRECIOUS TO ME, CAN WE PLEASEEEE ORDER SOME FOOD!!" Clyde falls to his knees, begging.

Kyle took his phone out opening DoorDash, "Yeah I'm feelin hungry myself, what you guys want? I'll start a group order but you all owe me back."

You patted your pocket, "Oh wait where's my phone?"

Kyle's face briefly shows one of panic, "I uh, put it on the charger you left it and I found it dead.. so I plugged it in for you."

"Oh! Thanks Kyle."

"No problem, I'll just pay for you for tonight."

Clyde scoffs, "What is THIS Kyle Broflovski? You pay for our dear bassist but not for your lovely Clyde THE Donovan?"

"Clyde."

"This is like........instrumentalism..Do you just like bassists? Do you hate drummers?"

Nichole looks up in confusion, giving Clyde a side eye, "That.. is definitely NOT a word meant for that use smart ass."

"Uh huh, it sure is, don't change the topic though Nicky.. the important thing here is that no one is paying.. for ME!"

Kyle sighs, "Clyde."

"Uh.. I'm not finished yet," Clyde holds a finger up, "As I was saying, why don't you pay for me too! Do you just hate me, Kyle? I thought we were besties..."

If emoticons could be used as tones... you swear Clyde would sound like exactly like the sad emotion right now.

"Clyde." Kyle tries again.

"Oh my god can you let me do what I need to do?" Clyde frowns in fake irritation.

"Did..are you quoting Tyler the Creator right now? Seriously?" Stan asks.

"Yeah."

You snort at Clyde's antics and Kyle rubs his eyes, "Dude.. You can pay for yourself.. your phone is right there.. and CHARGED. You literally just got an angry birds notification."

Clyde turns around and sure enough his phone sat lit up with an angry birds notification sitting on his home screen, "Oh well this is awkward.. but still! It's the principle of things.."

Before Kyle could utter another word, Clyde continues, "BUT! I'll let you off the hook.. I'll pay for myself; you win this time.. Kyle Matthew Broflovski.."

"NOT THE FULL NAME." Stan bursts out laughing hard and Kyle sits there with his head in his hands, face covered in a slight blush from embarrassment.

Nichole, having tuned the conversation out and scrolling on DoorDash herself, pipes up with, "Does Burger King sound alright? It's either that or McDonalds and I'd rather not have them again tonight."

"Sounds good with me!" You chirp and the other three give their own mentions of agreement.

Kyle sends the link out and then gets up to sit beside you, "What would you like?"

"Hmm.." You lean in to get a better look at his phone and Kyle stiffens a bit before handing his phone to you.

"Thanks," You add your order in and hand the phone back to him, "Hey Kyle do you think my phone's charged by now?"

Kyle hums briefly and without thinking says, "Yeah should be."

"Oh great, where is it?"

He pauses briefly, having realized what he said, "Uhhh... You know.. I'm not sure where I plugged it in, give me a second to place the order if everyone would FINISH," He gives Stan a harsh side eye who just shrugs in return, "And I'll help you look."

Nichole frowns and gives you a glance and you catch it and just shrug, "Alright works with me, just as long as my phone is still here and someone didn't take it.. because you'd be owing me a new phone mister."

Kyle places the order and stands up, "Yup, I know.. That's why I'm hoping it's still here myself. Alright well lets go find it."

Kyle starts walking off towards the trailers and you follow, the other three look at each other and immediately start gossiping once you two are out of ear shot.

"Alright, what the hell is going on between those two?" Nichole asks.

Stan shrugs, "Hell if I know, suddenly they just became like that!" Stan snaps his fingers.

"Okayy.. well they've always been relatively close, I mean not as close as recently but, they've always had an easier connection." Clyde points out.

"Right and this is Y/n we're talking about.. she wouldn't be stupid enough to cheat on Kenny right?" Stan questions and Nichole shakes her head.

"No, that girl is dedicated to him, she wouldn't dream of doing that to Kenny."

Clyde sits for a minute, thinking, "Well what if Kyle's manipulating her? To like fall in love with him? I mean he's liked her since.. how long now?"

Stan looks over at Clyde incredulously, "Dude! That's my best friend you're dissing right now and absolutely not, Kyle isn't that kind of guy."

Clyde shrugs, "Hey bro I was just throwin ideas out there."

"Yeah, shitty ones."

Nichole chimes in, trying to break the random argument that's about to start, "Uh guys."

"I don't hear any genius ideas coming from YOU, Stanley Randall William Marsh."

"WHY ARE YOU SAYING OUR FULL NAMES LIKE THIS." Stan raises his voice in exasperation.

"Cuz it's funny." Clyde simply states.

"Uhhh... Guys?" Nichole says with more urgency.

"Yes Nichole?" Clyde turns to look at her, batting his eyelashes.

"Have.. you two seen twitter?"

You turn to ask Kyle, "You sure you left it in here?"

Kyle scratches his neck and looks around the trailer room, "Yeah, it should be here."

"No it's not." You sigh.

"What?"

"You have a thing, you scratch your neck and refuse to make eye contact when you're hiding the truth."

"A...thing?" Kyle asks confused.

"Yeah like a tell, people have these quirks about them that they do.. when they're lying or if they're happy or you know something like that."

Kyle still stares at you with slight confusion, "And... mine is scratching my neck and refusing to make eye contact?"

You nod, "Yeah.. pretty much."

"So you're calling me a liar?"

"I'm not calling you a truther."

"Don't," Kyle holds a hand up, "Quote Drake and Josh when you're accusing me of lying."

You cross your arms annoyed, "I'm not accusing you of lying I'm stating you're not telling me the truth right now... about MY phone no less."

Kyle sighs in defeat, "Okay.. You got me, but Y/n, sit down."

"Wha?" You start.

"Please."

"Wow, okay.." You slowly start to sit down and Kyle sits down at the couch across from you, "What is this about.?"

Kyle bites his lip and refuses to meet your gaze, "Y/n.. I.."

"Oh my god," You nervously chuckle, "You're scaring me, Kyle."

Kyle runs a hand through his hair and stares at the ground, you can see his jaw is clenched.

He looks back up at you and wordlessly fishes your phone out of his back pocket and slides it over to you.

"You had it? Kyle what the he.." You trail off, meeting his gaze. His eyes tell you that he's nervous.. that he's serious.. and that he's sad.

You swallow nervous again.. you can feel the mood change in the room, really you think it changed a while ago but your nonchalance about the reality of whatever is happening prevented you from fully noticing it.

You're not sure what to be thinking, thoughts run through your mind at the speed of 120 miles per hour. Complete worry stains your body and covers you in a blanket of fear.

"Y/n." Kyle starts, in a full serious tone.

"...Yeah?" You answer apprehensively.

"Kenny's cheating on you. I found out during the set."

White noise. White noise filled your ears, the room was so silent that you could literally hear the noise of dust settling around you.. at least you thought you could. What you could be hearing is the blood draining from your head or is it the blood rushing to your head?

Your heart beats faster and you're pretty sure to Kyle you look as if you just had a heart attack. Frozen in shock... frozen in.. dread? You're not sure what to feel.

Your throat is dry, your mouth is dry, "How..? Who..?" You croak out.

"The podcast earlier released it, it uh, was Red.. They've been together since right after we left for our tours."

"Oh- Oh my god I'm going to be sick." You gasp out.

Kyle instinctively wraps his arms around your body, holding you tight. You know that if you were standing, you'd have collapsed onto the ground. He rubs circles into your back and rubs his hands along your sides to comfort you.

You can also feel Kyle whisper in your ear comforting phrases, at least you'd assume it's comfort. You can't hear anything, the shock of the situation hitting you even harder now you know everything.. or at least everything you need to know.. everything you want to know.

You can't feel tears.. you're not sure why, maybe a part of you expected this... no, no how could you ever expect something like this? Your body is in a catatonic state. You feel sick yet you feel fine. Almost as if your body is fighting itself in a way that you don't know how to deal with.

You feel hollow.. empty.. like someone just ripped a half of you away with no explanation as to why. Except you HAD an explanation.. a horrible, awful, shitty, excruciatingly painful explanation.

You hear the trailer door open and a few gasps, before feeling three pairs of arms circle your body. You felt cold, you felt numb, you felt broken. But above all?

You felt alone.

TAGLIST: @captivq @kimiesstuff @bwljules @the-cooler-kira @1one1person1 @kenny-the-ken @neenieweenie @n0tangeliccc @frogindisguise @revzxn @ryenwritess @mirophobic @gonefiishiing @musiclovebot @bootsieboo @bonez4brainz @s0l4riss @1996kj @sweetadonisbutbetter @scinclaitnoir @okarigold

[td-yuri-takes]

Mod cricket is a pinch of duncan slander allowed with your usual yuri takes please 🙏 cuz ngl he seems like the type of guy to say "i can fix you baby cheeks" UNIRONICALLY. He looks like a threat to any lesbian in a 50 kilometre radius

OKAY SO TALKING ABOUT DUNCAN IS ALLOWED ON THE BLOG IF WE’RE HATING ON HIM.

I have a few words myself.

BRO GOD DAMN YOU AIN'T GOT WAVES ON YOUR HEAD YOU GOT A WHOLE DAMN TIDAL SEQUENCE ON YO HEAD YOUR ASS UGLY AS SHIT BRO LOOK AT YOUR EMO ASS BRUH IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR I'M A BURGER KING WITH MY BURGER KING CAN I PLEASE GET A LARGE FRY LOOKING ASS AND LOOK AT YO NIPPLES BOY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOOT LASER BEAMS OUT OF YOUR NIPPLES PEW PEW POINTY ASS NIPPLE ASS GARDEN GNOME NOSE LOOKING ASS NIPPLE BOY YOU UGLY AS SHIT SHUT YO DIRTY ASS UP BRUH SAY SOMETHING BRUH WHAT WHO TF AM I BITCH WHAT THE FUCK IF YOU DON'T GET YO ISHOWSPEED DRIED OUT WEED BODY BUILT LIKE AN ANAL BEAD HEADPHONE WIRE DEFLATED TIRE FARTED IN THE MIC AND CALLED IT FIRE CHICKEN POX DIRTY SOCKS AYO EVERYONE GO AND FOLLOW PARADOX CRYPTO SCAM ORANGE CRAYON PEANUT BUTTER JELLY JAM DIRTY TOE SLOPPY JOE CHRISTIAN RONALDO LOOKING ASS UP YOU UGLY AS SHIT SHUT YO STUPID ASS UP YOU DIRTY AS HELL BRO IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE TWENTY TWO SAVAGE MOLDY CABBAGE WENT TO THERAPY TO QUIT YOUR HABIT OF HAVING UNPROTECTED BUTT SEX WITH OBESE RABBITS REFRIGERATOR IS FILLED WITH MAGGOTS FATHER ABUSES YOU WITH A TENNIS RACKET SCHOOL GAVE YOU A CHROMEBOOK YOU TRIED TO HACK IT SEMI AUTOMATIC SOY SAUCE PACKET ROACH INBREEDING INSIDE YOUR ATTIC BUST DOWN GRANDMA LET ME SMACK IT LOOKING ASS BOY YOU UGLY AS SHIT IF YOU DON'T YOUR HALF A FRY CHERRY PIE BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY LOOKING ASS BACK YOU UGLY AS SHIT BOY YOU DIRTY AS HELL YOU LIKE YOU WERE BORN INSIDE OF A HANDICAP PARKING SPACE WITH YO STUPID ASS BOY YOU DIRTY AS SHIT BOY BITCH YO MOM LOOK LIKE WRECK IT RALPH WITH ESTROGEN IMPLANTS I'M GONNA WRECK IT.

[its-to-the-death]

Songs that made it through preliminaries (minus the MLP songs)

Rogues Are We (Holy Musical B@man)

Kick It Up a Notch (Starship)

Nerdy Prudes Must Die (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

Join Us (and Die) (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)

No One Remembers Achmed (Twisted)

Feed Me (Little Shop of Horrors)

Dentist (Little Shop of Horrors)

Mean Green Mother From Outerspace (Little Shop of Horrors)

Old King Cole (Once Upon a Time in Space by The Mechanisms)

Favoured Son (Ulysses Dies at Dawn by The Mechanisms)

Odin (The Bifrost Incident by The Mechanisms)

There's a Platypus Controlling Me (Phineas and Ferb)

Evil for Extra Credit (Phineas and Ferb)

All the Convoluted Reasons We Pretend To Be Divorced (Phineas and Ferb)

I Love You (As Much As Someone Like Me Can Love Anyone) (Galavant)

No One But You (Galavant)

She'll Be Mine (Galavant)

Mother Knows Best (Tangled)

Ready As I'll Ever Be (Tangled the Series)

Nothing Left to Lose (Tangled the Series)

Pretty Women (Sweeney Todd)

Dancing Mad (Final Fantasy VI)

When the Chips are Down (Hadestown)

Master of Masters (Kingdom Hearts)

U.N. Owen Was Her? (Touhou 6: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil)

The Old Man of the Mountain/You Gotta Ho-De-Ho/The Scat Song Medley (Betty Boop)

Our Love is God (Heathers)

Biskit Family Business (Littlest Pet Shop)

We Both Reached For the Gun (Chicago)

Heaven on Their Minds (Jesus Christ Superstar)

Good to Be King (Journey to Bethlehem)

Jester (Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return)

Sympathy for the Devil (song by The Rolling Stones)

Dressed to Oppress (Play It By Ear - The Muck of Merkmere)

One Step Ahead (Spies Are Forever)

Let the Pun Fit the Crime (Wander Over Yonder)

Necrostar (The Vice Quadrant by Steam Powered Giraffe)

Lost in Thoughts All Alone (Fire Emblem: Fates)

The Ring motif (Lord of the Rings)

I'm Alive (Next to Normal)

Where There's a Whip, There's a Way (Return of the King 1980)

There Ain't Nothin' But Bad Days Ahead (The Swan Princess: Mystery of the Enchanted Treasure)

Les Poissons (The Little Mermaid)

It's Our House Now (The House of Mouse - Halloween special)

Grandpa's Gonna Sue the Pants Off Santa (Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer)

Master of the House (Les Miserables)

Peaches (The Super Mario Bros. Movie)

The Boys Are Back In Town (To Kill You) (The Boys)

Dark Riders (Star Stable Online)

Grand Ceremony (Pyre)

Coraline (Coraline)

Better Than You (Camp Camp)

In the Hall of the Mountain King (Peer Gynt)

Get in the Water (Epic: The Musical)

Descole's theme live version (Professor Layton)

Isabella's Lullaby (The Promised Neverland)

Get Jinxed (League of Legends)

Pieces of You/Hologram Professor Song (Puppet History)

Great at Crime (Epithet Erased)

Davy Jones' theme (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest)

Herbert Style (Club Penguin)

No One's Gonna Make a Monkey Out of Me (The Donkey Kong Country cartoon)

Diddy Drop Rap (The Donkey Kong Country cartoon)

Attack at the Wall (Mulan)

No More Toymakers to the King (Santa Claus is Comin' to Town)

What's Up Duloc? (Shrek musical)

If I'm Gonna Eat Somebody (It Might As Well Be You) (Ferngully)

The Phantom of the Opera (The Phantom of the Opera)

Prowler's theme (Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse)

How Can I Refuse? Reprise (Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper)

Friends in Low Places (Bigtop Burger)

That's Not How the Story Goes (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

The World Revolving (Deltarune)

Heffalumps and Woozles (Winnie the Pooh)

Waikyou Shenshoujin (Senki Zesshou Symphogear G)

No Good Deed (Wicked)

Fabulous (High School Musical 2)

Kidnap the Sandy Claws (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Between Two Worlds (Limbus Company)

Your Best Nightmare (Undertale)

We Don't Talk About Bruno (Encanto)

Jaws theme (Jaws)

The Executioner (Umineko no naku koro ni)

[davekat-sucks]

Despite how so, so many artists draw the cast, there are only four characters in the main cast who I can see realistically being fat.

Rose: Not shown to be particularly active and has a neglectful alcoholic parent who I doubt would be highly concerned about keeping her healthy

Jane: Only one with any canon basis, regularly bakes and eats sugary foods, not shown to be particularly active

Tavros: Limited room for physical activity after being paralyzed

Sollux: Rarely leaves his hive and spends most of his time at his computer, doesn't seem to take good care of himself, could use his psiionics in place of many physically demanding activities, would play into the "fat neckbeard nerd" stereotype

As for the others:

All of the trolls live in a "kill or be killed" society where they need to be in good physical shape to stay alive and are shown doing a lot of highly physical stuff.

Dad Egbert is diligent enough that he would likely not let John get overweight.

Dave regularly has to train and swordfight and there is no chance Bro would let him get out of shape.

Jade and Jake regularly run around outdoors in the wilderness and have to sustain themselves, plus Jake regularly spars with the Brobot.

Roxy and Dirk live in the post-apocalypse fallout and like Jade and Jake have to be almost completely self-sufficient.

I wouldn't say Mom Lalonde was that neglectful to starve her kid. Don't let any of the Pesterquest bullshit sway you. Mom was even willing to drive to a Burger King for Rose despite it taking an hour or so long. I guess I wouldn't mind Jane being canon fat, if that only means that everyone, narrative wise and fanbase, validated Caliborn's insults and claims towards her. So he technically is right and was the reason she is fat now. Tavros, I can see it. But nobody wants a 'chaser' to represent fat. Surprised nobody makes Sollux really fat to play up the stereotype. It may even make it funny or sweet that someone like FEFERI would want to date a fat bastard like him. Adding in a contrast of Eridan being lanky thin or the guy who is concerned about his weight, you got some funny stuff with how he hates Sollux and feeling confused jealous on Feferi liking the chubby mustardblood. John also couldn't be overweight because dude rejects CAKES. He does not want to eat too much baked goods. Dave's training, Jade and Jake's hunting and roaming around outdoors, and Roxy & Dirk in the post-apocalypse world are also valid and good reasons why they can't be plus sized. I think the fandom assumes even the fattest person could move around like Yoda from Star Wars.

[supernaturalkickparty]

Toddler watched Beauty and the Beast for the first time.

His commentary and thoughts

Opening scene-once upon a time-

Toddler- oh hey it's like a bed time story.

Belle singing opening song- me singing along because I can't help myself.

Toddler-hey you sing it too?

Me-yeah buddy this was my favorite movie when I was little.

Toddler- nu uh😳

I pause the movie to give him my beast from either Burger King or McDonald's and my Cogsworth that I got a pizza hut. Tell them there his now.

Toddler- this is so cool! Hey mommy do you have the girl?

Me- no baby I lost Belle a long time ago and I'm still sad about it.

Toddler don't be sad, here's a pokemon card-hands me a card.

Maurice gets lost in woods/wolves chase him/he finds the castle

Toddler-that was scary, ooh a castle....hey its my toy!(he saw Cogsworth)

Toddler has asked me to buy him Belle and Lumiere.

Gaston proposes to Belle puts his muddy boots on book/table

Toddler-ewwwwww that's dirty. You no put shoes on table, nasty.

Gaston falls in mud/pig on his head

Toddler-he needs a bath....thats a pig.

Toddler- she's singing again. Its a horse.

Toddler watches with extreme focus as Belle walks around the castle

Belle finds her father/Belle switches places with her father.

Toddler- wait what happening? Why her daddy go? Where's beast?

Me-belle and her daddy are switching spots. She's gonna stay in the castle and her daddy can leave.

Toddler- she didn't say bye bye. She's sad. I'm sad.

Me- it's ok baby, it's gonna get better I promise.

Toddler watches quietly while also grumbling he's hungry.

Be Our Guest-

Toddler- oh wow everything dances-goes to his toy box and gets his toy plate and fork and makes them dance.

Belle finds the rose/beast looses his shit.

Toddler-he needs to count to 3 and breathe.

Me- remember that the next time you wanna throw a toy at me bro.(he's 4 I know but still lol)

The wolves/beast saves belle

Toddler- wolves look scary, oh he fall down

Something There That Wasn't There Before/me singing along

Toddler- you sing this too?!

Me-yes baby I told you it's one of my favorite movies.

Toddler says quiet till Mrs. Potts sings

Toddler-hey I know this song! It's on radio disneyJr!!!!

Belle hugging beast/leaving the castle/beast roars

Toddler-why she leave and why he sad?

Me-belles daddy is in trouble so she left and she isn't going back to the castle. That's why beast is sad, he loves Belle.

Toddler-oh...I love you.

Me-love you too mijo.

Chip is talking to belle/Maurice

Toddler-he left the castle.

Gaston sings Kill the Beast

Toddler- they can't kill the beast! That's her friend!

The storm of the castle/Belle escapes

Toddler-she going to the castle? Oh no look at the mess they made. That's not nice, they need to clean the castle.

Gaston/Beast fight

Toddler legit looked like this😳😳😳😳

Toddler-THERES BELLE!!! BEAST WATCH OUT! HE GOT STABBED HE DIED!!! MOM HE DIED!

Me trying not to laugh-its gonna be ok just watch.

Toddler watching intently as beast transforms into his human form

Toddler- what the heck?! He a...a boy?

Me- yes baby he's a person. Is that what you were looking for?

Toddler-person yes a people. Hey they kissed.

Lmao now he's telling me he needs to ask Santa for a Belle because he needs it