#and the constant guilt trips
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brynalyn · 1 year ago
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I hope other people who have experienced trauma from the floraverse discord servers and the toxic environment from that circle know they aren’t alone, and that they are valid, and their feelings are valid. It’s not cool that so many get bullied due to others whims. there are others who have experienced the same sort of alienation, you aren’t alone and you aren’t bad for wanting to be treated humanly and with respect. No one should live with constant guilt trips, feeling like they are being scrutinized constantly, constant fear of being punished for any misstep, that feeling of oppressive control is incredibly detrimental to mental health. I hope everyone can find a place that isn’t only half safe, but fully safe, where your presence isn’t looked down on, tolerated, scoffed at, mocked or ignored. Where you feel safe to be yourself and grow without judgement and with love and respect. Half safe is not actual safe. You shouldn’t be shamed for being a human being and growing as a person, and I’m sorry and it makes me genuinely upset that shame is used as a weapon to hurt others there, it’s wrong and it’s hurtful.
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pjharvey · 3 months ago
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my current plan re: tumblr is to use this site once a week TOPS at least until the US election in november, then maybe resume every day. i literally dont think the amount of anger i have over the stupid bullshit i have to see from people who think you should have to be guilty about everything you do and that feeling as much guilt as possible is peak activism is like sustainable in terms of purely like. my own health reasons. im being tested for hyperthyroidism and a number of other things rn bc of chronic pain + issues eating exacerbated by stress and i don’t feel like mass unfollowing ppl bc a lot of it is coming from ppl i care about
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figofswords · 5 months ago
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thinking about taking a little bit of a step back from social media for a bit for mental/physical health reasons (as in: chronic severe anxiety is causing chronic health issues and I need to remove stress Somehow). I will still post art but I’m probably gonna make an effort to engage with my dash only minimally, if at all. (that being said I have very poor discipline so if you see me suddenly reblogging stuff out of nowhere just. roll with it)
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phoenixisnthere · 4 months ago
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‘Honestly people don’t realize-‘ ‘I never see people talk about-‘ ‘How come no one mentions-‘ ‘Pretty funny how people seem to have forgotten-‘
EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME! FUCK YOU FOR ASSUMING EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT YOU KNOW AND ARE JUST IGNORING IT! FUCK YOU FOR ASSUMING EVERYONE HAS THE CLARITY AND STRENGTH TO TALK ABOUT EVERY IMPORTANT TRAGEDY HAPPENING RIGHT THIS GODDAMN SECOND AND YESTERDAY AND TOMORROW AND AND AND!
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sureuncertainty · 2 months ago
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Okay, yesterday was for crying and despair and anger, today is for continuing to live and fight and hope
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mycological-mariner · 4 months ago
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God i miss privacy
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moneygoblin04 · 6 months ago
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I kinda feel like I'm falling apart
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raitrolling · 9 months ago
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tho to be clear i actually dont mind if people think my ocs are Dateable unless you get Weird about it (i.e. ignoring character flaws or legitimate bad shit theyve done in favour of fawning over them for being cute/sexy), i just think its funny when people pick the terrible options when decent dateable characters like lucy and nancor are Right There
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pepprs · 1 year ago
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feeling despair i don’t know how to put into words. im trying to figure out why im like this and how i got to be this way but i can’t even do it bc of the way i am and what im like. if that makes sense. like the problem prevents me from fixing the problem bc i can’t get to the root of it. despair despair despair
#purrs#delete later#basically i can’t internalize anything about myself. i can’t internalize that i am talented smart strong whatever and i can’t internalize#evidence that i matter and belong and am loved. i take in this evidence constsntly and it just evaporates. and then it’s like i have none of#it at all and im starving and shaking and dying and howling like a wretched little animal. and i live in this constant defaulstate of like..#feeling worthless and alone and utterly empty and like everything in my life is a dream or something. and in feeling that way and being#quite literally incapable of having emotional object permanence.. i actually make that situation real for myself. i make myself alone and#wretched. i isolate myself and shut down and don’t let myself take up the space i can. and it’s just awful. it’s unfixabke.#i just suck it all dry. i deny myself to myself and to everyone else. and idk what made me like this bc i don’t think i always used to be#this way w depression and depersonalization or whatever the fuck dsm 6 type shit i have going on. but i can’t internalize anything about#myself and my life and have no desire / willpower to look back beyond a certain point and really analyze and probe to figure out what#happened to me to make me like this so i can heal the core wound. soim just constantly in wretched tortured panicking creature mode. awesome#this cry for help brought to you by: my sister guilt tripping me into doing her laundry + my brother showing me his beautiful music +#realizing that unlike redacted i have not documented every part of my life and have no access to early childhood artifacts that would reveal#anything about me and that it does n’t even matter / isn’t special anyway. i love being normal 😎🫶🏻‼️#at least i haven’t been dissociating as badly about work stuff lately but. that’s definitely still a thing too so. what if my whole life is#just the wrong timeline i wasn’t supposed to be in and nothing is actually real. lawl 😳#this is a ​really awesome time for my therapist to be going on a monthlong honeymoon btw 😍 she deserves it so much but omg im dying already
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ficsempai · 2 years ago
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Me: *hating on Alhaitham* 😃
Some people: *Actually hating on Alhaitham*
Me:
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theflamingmarshmallow · 5 months ago
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Thank you so much 🍉🍉for being generous and supporting for my family that is now undergoing to all forms of pain, torture 😞😞and hardship. Please don't hesitate to help the miserable, hopeless and jobless 😢😢people of Gaza in such hard and dire time We need your kind help 😍😍through donating whatever you can to enable us to cover some of our daily basic necessities or through sharing my posts to other. Your contribution will be highly valued.  ❤❤
Damn whoever made this spambot sure didn't do a good job at it because half of my dash is:
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LMAO. I've never once contributed to a GFM or even had the money to.
(Just for clarity, see that I have all donation posts blocked, and I have both sides blocked, this is just the first one on my dash and is related to the ask. All of this became almost my entire feed. It's too much man I'm a broke bitch part-time janitor and I just come here for fanart and memes occasionally. This is NOT a declaration of my stance on the matter, nor am I the most informed.)
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askshivanulegacy · 2 years ago
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This. I've seen sooooo many artists hating on people who like their stuff.
Man, that's someone who liked your stuff!! Embrace it! They didn't have to do anything, and they did!
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Something I found on Twitter that really puts things in perspective as a creator.
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bumblebeepixie · 11 months ago
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bean-pronounced-bawn · 1 year ago
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The closer it gets to Normal People Are Okay With Eating A Lot season (i.e. thanksgiving and chrimus), the more grating my mother is becoming because she's got fucking issues and loves controlling other people's diets, and it's genuinely starting to push me towards the edge. It's one thing to be a health freak and not eat anything that doesn't fit in your narrow and tragic category of Okay To Eat, it's a whole nother thing to get on someone else's ass for eating A Cookie -- cookies that she fucking bought for us to eat because she has no self control and would rather self flagellate over buying/eating Evil Foods than sticking to her own stupid fucking morals and Not Buy them in the first goddamn place. You'd think that November - December she'd reel herself in a bit because this is literally Eating Season, but she has somehow become more irritating because instead of just Not Allowing Bad Foods in the house, she buys them and then gets mad at me for eating them after explicitly saying I could eat them. And that's not even touching on the fact that she thinks that there are limited Normal Times to eat and gets mad at anyone who eats outside of Her established breakfast lunch and dinner times, but that's not how my body fucking works and I tend to eat 4-5 small meals a day and I always get hungry around 10pm, but she gets mad at me for not eating enough at Normal Times even though I've explained to her that her Normal Dinnertime is right between my Body Gets Hungry times, so of course I'm not eating a lot cause I'm not fucking hungry regardless of what I've eaten today. And then she makes some snide fucking comment about my weight when I actually Do Get Hungry later and grab myself something to eat and acts like I've downed ten thousand fucking calories when I most likely haven't even had two full meals. I'm so fucking done with her, and I'm pissed because living alone the past two years finally allowed me to work on having a healthy relationship with food, and now not only am I backtracking on all of that cause I have to adhere to my mom's stupid fucking arbitrary bible, but I'm starting to do shit I never did before moving out like sneaking food when I'm out of the house and stashing candy to snack on at night and I know it's bad and it's pissing me off that I feel like I have to fucking do it. I've reached the point where little comments are making my fucking blood boil and I know that means I'm gonna start snapping soon and I don't have the ability to move out now or anytime in the near future. Fuck.
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whoviandoodler · 1 year ago
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im this close to blocking a third of my dash like usually ill just look past things that are mildly annoying bcs i like the rest of it but if i see another fucking guilt trip 'reminder' i will lose it i will start mauling
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ghostprinceiii · 1 year ago
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As soon as I get home I am never leaving my house again.
#im having a horrible morning :D#I've been staying with my brother the past few days for guilt reasons and as nice as he and his girlfriend are this house is#my own personal hell. In the area that im staying everything is cold and damp (including the toiletpaper) and I think ive been rubbing mold#on my face because my towel wont dry. I cant go two inches without seeing or accidentally stepping on a bug and theres dirt and debris#literally everywhere. There are so many goddamn stairs. I tried to actually make something to eat today that was more substantial and more#effort than like a fistful of goldfiah crackers. The knife I had seemed very dull. My noodles are probably undercooked because I don't#understand the stovetop. When I tried to pour my soup out of the pot the shape of it made it so half the liquid in there just poured#straight onto the stove. All of the chairs in this province are so goddamn uncomfortable. I am miserable as I knew I would be#and I want to go home. I miss my cat and my ability to create a semi-sterile environment. My flight (which is itself a horrible stressor an#impending miserable experience + I had to spend $350 for a flight I don't want to be on to get home from a trip I didnt want to go on)#isnt until Monday and its only Wednesday today. I already always feel like Im seeing bugs and like theyre crawling on me.#I cannot live somewhere where thats actually *true*. I'm also constantly being unsubtly judged for using a mobility aid and any time I talk#to my mom she doesnt listen to literally anything I say and theres so much goddamn noise in this house and I dont wanna say anything to my#brother because thats *rude* and *ungrateful* but the only texture I can stand in this place is the tiny couch I have to curl up but keep#vigilant on because not even that is safe from bugs!!! And all of the counters are sticky!!! And they made me get expensive groceries that#I cant make myself use! I'm in a sensory and emotional nightmare and in constant physical pain! And then people get upset with me for being#miserable to be around! What the fuck do they want me to do!?!?#anyways.#ghostprince posts#vent#delete later#I want to go home.#update: I took like two bites of my food and immediately became nauseous. I've also become convinced there's bugs in there. Great.
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