#so removing stressors it is

[figofswords]

thinking about taking a little bit of a step back from social media for a bit for mental/physical health reasons (as in: chronic severe anxiety is causing chronic health issues and I need to remove stress Somehow). I will still post art but I’m probably gonna make an effort to engage with my dash only minimally, if at all. (that being said I have very poor discipline so if you see me suddenly reblogging stuff out of nowhere just. roll with it)

[acheaptrickandacheesyoneline]

Mr. Cheaptrick and I have lived at our place for over 13 years. I moved in December 2011, and he joined August 2012.

Which means that packing our entire place for a move that neither of us really wants to make but kinda need to just....sucks.

So many memories, and so much stuff.

[kyngsnake]

Well, the process of moving into a new place is finally over and done with after nearly a month. Having a major ice storm happen within days of signing your lease, thus preventing you from acquiring any of your belongings/furniture from storage, isn’t exactly an ideal situation. But shit happens, you get through it, important part is it’s over.

Having more time, space and my desk back should make it a lot easier to work on art, writing, interacting online in general. I’ve really missed being more active here but I keep getting smacked upside the head by Unforeseen Circumstances. Things are still a little turbulent and weird offline but moving finally being out of the way should make a big difference.

Anyway. I think the reason I’m making this post is to be basically be like. Hey, hi, I’m still around, I would like to interact w/ ya’ll more often again, shit just keeps Happening. But being done with moving and having all of my stuff back is one less big Thing.

[vbs-kaitos-big-naturals]

you ever feel like your parents dont love you

[arihi]

The difficult thing about openly blogging about healing and going through a long period of growth publicly is the feeling of “I’m not doing super great, and it’s worse than it has been before” springs to mind, but for the X number of times you’ve said it in the past, it feels more trivial. And maybe that’s a sign that things have always been an up and down sort of pattern, and that it will pass again, but maybe it also serves to feel more isolating in not having the words or energy anymore to describe how it is *this* time. And it is a position that changes day to day, and on better days it feels more passable, and on worse the void feels more vast. The mere fact that it changes is probably a good sign, that nothing ever has to be set in stone. But boy are some days so, so dreadful.

[mars-ipan]

i have a check-up tomorrow morning and did the little depression screening thing online just now so it could be done. erm

[snakes-and-fluff]

My pet Orekoto theory that I know is 100% not true is that he's a pro assassin who kills for money and is saving it so Bokuto/Mikoto can quit his job and still have financial security.

[whentherewerebicycles]

ruthie slowly realizing I have the front camera turned on 😂 this dog hates being photographed!

we were up for a bit at 5 but it was too early and I was sleeepy so ended up dozing for another hour or two. rainy morning here. I’m trying to really savor the cozy snuggly days as life is about to get so hectic for me:

I’m in pittsburgh friday morning through monday night (YAYYY) attending two weekend games and hanging out with bec!!!

I have tuesday to run errands and do laundry before my mom arrives wednesday

we leave early thursday morning for 14 days in japan and korea, during which we are hitting tokyo, osaka, kyoto, nara, mt koya, hiroshima, miyajima island, fukuoka, busan, daegu, and /seoul… I’m soooo psyched but also 🫠 it’s gonna be a whirlwind and I still have to do quite a bit of prep to be ready

we get home on a wed, I have thurs to recover from jetlag slash finalize my job talk, and then friday is the all-day campus visit

THEN I leave sat morning for houston and get back late monday night

it’s gonna be a lot!!! so very okay to be slothful this weekend and for as much of next week as I can manage I think. I am building up my reserves of rest and solitude lol.

mmkay. tonight I am having dinner + watching tár with mary later (and maybe seeing my sister at some point in the afternoon tbd) but the morning is my own! no pressure to get anything done in particular but here are some options:

could do more campus visit research for fun! my first gen programming book is arriving sometime today so I could read that and take notes, or I could spend some more time working through these articles I pulled up on designing programming for transfer students. I was also thinking it might be fun to create some one-page idea/vision/notes docs by hand on various topics—I feel like writing by hand will reinforce my memory of key details, and then making decisions about how I want to visually organize/arrange content will be a good exercise in synthesizing what I’ve learned. lol even as I’m typing this out I’m like ‘OOOOH that sounds like fun!!!!’ so I guess I’ll probably do that.

my former student is calling me at some point today to talk about transfer students’ experiences. he’s around my age (went back to undergrad after serving in the military for a long time) and is fun to talk to because he’s super smart and just like… more of a fully formed person and professional than the college-age kids. so that will be fun and should give me some useful threads to follow in my research. 

pick up my CVS prescription

hmm maybe I’ll put my laundry in right now? I also want to change linens/towels. I cleaned most of the house yesterday so don’t have much else to do in the way of chores… and I have a bunch of leftovers to finish before I’m allowed to make anything else so no cooking to do today either.

if it clears up I’ll go for a shorter long walk (the hourlong loop?) unless it’s really nice and I feel like doing the 90+ min trek again. not gonna let myself run today though—I can tell I pushed it a bit yesterday with the long fast walk + running two days in a row at a quicker clip than usual. just a little bit of achiness!

I finished a novel yesterday and want to start the next one today so I don’t break stride, but that can wait till before bed unless I’m moved to read earlier.

mmkay I think that’s it! take it easy and do fun relaxing stuff today.

[quirkle2]

I see you and i are both having a hard day today (for different reasons) so. Solidarity?

Sending you good vibes

Im just gonna be over here upset cuz my job cutting my hours from full time to only 24 hours a week (I'll be okay, my parents are willing to help and i have options to get more hours elsewhere, im just frustrated and need a good cry over it) so i hope things go better on your end too

OUGH im so sorry that happened to u anon :( i hope everything goes well!! tysm for the good vibes i am sending some ur way as well <3

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

[0rionz-belt]

sometimes i’ll be like “i wish i could go to a doctor and they do a scan of my brain and find that i have brain damage from how stressed i’ve been the past 3 years” and then i remember that this burnout was probably actually already physically changing my brain by the time i properly noticed the symptoms over half a year after the catalyst

[kavehater]

If things keep going wrong like this I’ll soon become like the xiao-less people in 2021 ;-;

[vaguelydefinedshapes]

ok but what do u do when u have all A's probably (ur too scared to actually check to confirm this) but ur just so overwhelmed by the concept of finals that ur just trying to ignore it and pretend it's not happening so ur just ditching ur second to last class bc u didnt make a presentation and ur just gonna head to the product building at 10pm (when ur teachers have left and wont be able to yell at u for ditching class) to take the photos and submit them? what then

[dogheartbf]

what if i dropped out of school haha

[hazzasultimatekiwi]

i hate how time works

[rosecoloredtarot]

I think people have become so far removed from the natural world that "witnessing nature do it's thing" is often misinterpreted as having mystical significance.

This is not meant to be a judgement of anyone, no one here is the reason we live in a society away from the wilds. But I think that the little to no exposure people have with non-human spaces turns perfectly ordinary occurrences into something of a spectacle.

"I keep seeing large groups of crows around, who is trying to reach out?" Probably no one, crows are diurnal flock animals that actively seek out people because they are smart and know we have lots of stuff they can scavenge.

"This tree in my yard put out SO many flowers but seems to be dying now, did someone curse me?" Nope! Trees, particularly fruit trees, can stress bloom, where they put out tons of flowers in response to any number of stressors. Might wanna see if you can fix the stressors to save the tree.

"I was walking around during a storm and lightning hit a tree I was near, what does that mean?" It means you should thank your lucky stars you didn't get hit yourself. Lightning wants to touch the ground so badly and will zap the tallest thing around because that is the fastest way there.

"A cat gave birth under my house, do I have a familiar now?" Maybe. But under the house is dry, warm and relatively safe. She picked that spot because its a good place to keep her babies.

All of these things and more happen ALL THE TIME, we just aren't as aware of them as we used to be. Seeing nature in action is incredible and special in it's own right, just maybe not in the way you want it to be.