#yesterday was rough i was angry and hurting but today i can definitely feel more hopeful
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sureuncertainty · 5 days ago
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Okay, yesterday was for crying and despair and anger, today is for continuing to live and fight and hope
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months ago
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AITA for giving a friend-of-a-friend the cold shoulder?
(First off, please note that most of this is just over Discord, because distance is homophobic)
I (26m) met the person in question - let's call them T, 24f) - about two weeks ago. The vibes have been kind of off for a while - they're really bad at socializing, worse even then the rest of the autistic folks I know and love, and they can get aggressive and pushy around misunderstandings - but nothing unforgivable. Then yesterday my beloved W (24nb) who I've known and been in love with for about two years was unlucky enough to trip T's issues. It definitely wasn't all T - W was bantering with them in a way that's definitely too harsh in hindsight - but T gave every indication that they were fine and enjoying it, right up until they snapped and pushed W into an emotional breakdown. (To be fair, W was already pretty close to a breakdown at that point, but still.) Our friends were pretty pissed at T, and even T's friends had a hard time getting her to admit that she should have communicated and that just saying "this feels bad" would've gotten W to drop it immediately. There was a lot of anger and a lot of protectiveness of W. But S (23nb), dating both W and T and a few other people, tried to mediate.
Today, T and W apologized to each other - T for not communicating, W for being too mean. They're apparently friends now, closer than they were before the event, although W has said it "feels weird" and maybe they'll end up pulling back later. S is just happy their loved ones like each other. But me and everyone else who knows W better than T are still angry to varying degrees with T, and one of W's loves is planning on leaving the server rather than risk becoming "angry controlling girlfriend" over W. I'm not planning on doing that, but...I'm sure as hell not engaging with T like W and S are. Not outright ignoring her or anything, but definitely not being any more than polite. I know T wasn't malicious, she was mid-breakdown at the time too and she didn't want to hurt W like this, but when I was talking to her at S's request later she lashed out at me pretty rough. And in anyone else, I'd justify it, but...I just don't like T. It doesn't help that I think T does want to do better, and - eventually - be a good friend.
So, AITA for not engaging with T like S, W, and T herself would like, despite W forgiving her?
What are these acronyms?
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yourmoonmomma · 4 months ago
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hi Alex, how are you? It’s breakup anon. firstly, a huge happy belated birthday 🥺🩷 I hope you had an amazing day, I wish you all the happiness and love for the year ahead!
my ex won’t return my stuff, and we were supposed to have a closure conversation yesterday in person. He didn’t show up so I had a self care day instead. It was really difficult not to cry in public though. I’m getting really tired of replaying all the events, I’m not upset that we’re not together, I’m hurt by what happened and how much I put up with..I have a lot of people telling me “it’s just a breakup move on”. Firstly, I don’t have a large social circle, i live in a rural area and I wfh. secondly, this goes deeper than just a breakup… things happened that have really messed me up. Of course I don’t share these details with anyone other than my best friend but therapy doesn’t seem to be helping either. My boundaries, self respect and trust all gone :(
I lost even more self respect by messaging him again yesterday and today. I asked if he was showing up and that I needed my stuff back. Silence. Today I messaged him the “closure” which was just a long ass paragraph detailing how I felt about the relationship. Stupid I know. I feel ridiculous :( idk if he’ll even read them but I’ve blocked and deleted him number now. I feel so dumb for stooping so low and continuously messaging him when he held his position and kept silent.
Hi! I'm doing alright, on day 2 of feeling okay, if not good. Let's hope it lasts a few more days! Thank you for the birthday wishes <33
I'm sorry to hear you've been having such a rough time! I'd ask how you are in return, but I think it goes without saying <33
You are grieving, lovebug. It sounds like you're grieving a lot of different things too; him, perhaps a loss of self-identity, the time that has passed, even those feelings of humiliation & lack of self-respect can lead to your grieving your past self perhaps. Grief is difficult and hard, and there's no easy or right way to handle it. And nobody seems to talk about the grief that comes with breakups. But it IS there and it hurts. Please know that it is okay to not be able to move on. As you said, there's a lot more to this situation than people realize! You are allowed to grieve and be angry or hurt or sad for as long as you need to be. And even if there wasn't more going on, and it was "just a breakup"... That's still a breakup!! You are losing a person you loved. In your case, it sounds like you are losing a person you loved, "despite" how small you made yourself for him (I could be assuming there of course so I'm sorry if I'm wrong!). If I'm reading your message properly, you're likely feeling that "I did whatever you wanted/became the person you wanted, and you still couldn't love me back/stay with me." feeling, and with that comes anger and confusion and shame and potentially feeling not good enough for anyone again. AGAIN I could be wrong with these assumptions, I'm so sorry if I'm accidentally putting thoughts into your head that weren't there before!! But speaking from personal experience, I know I've definitely felt that way before. And if that IS how you're feeling, know those feelings of inadequacy are lying to you. You are good enough. It will take time to discover who you are again, and learn to be okay, but you have time. There is no rush to healing (even if we wish there was sometimes). Feel your emotions, you're allowed <3
Do you mind me asking why you feel therapy isn't working? I'd love to talk about that more, if you wanted! I'm a huge advocate for therapy haha!
I'm sorry he isn't returning your stuff. I don't know where you live, but I have heard of people calling non-emergency police lines to have an escort to get their possessions back. I don't know if that's an option for you or not, but wanted to make you aware of it! Your therapist may also have some ideas for you <33
Lastly, you are NOT stupid for what you've done. I would have done the same. I have done the same. I am INCREDIBLY proud of you for blocking him (and I will not judge you if that changes by the next time you reach out!). You are hurting. The things you do when you are hurting are not stupid. It is you trying to cope. No one can fault your for that.
(Oh also I want to have an anon name for you, and I'll use breakup anon for now, but is there any other identifier you want to use? I know OUR connection started because of this breakup, but this breakup is NOT what defines you & I hate to diminish you just to that!)
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supernovanim · 4 years ago
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Strike, Dear Mistress, and Cure His Heart
I was lying in bed yesterday morning, when I realised I would like to tie Dylan O’Brien up. So i wrote this, and I’m not even the slightest bit sorry. It’s just one shortish fic as I don’t know how you’d continue it - there is no plot to speak of, it’s very self indulgent. I wrote it very quickly, although I did have to go back and rewrite some bits in case I ended up breaking his arms (I can’t be the only one that hates physically impossible smut). Let me know if you like it.
Title comes from Venus in Furs by The Velvet Underground, which is itself based on the book by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. I’d highly recommend both the song and the book.
Summary: Dylan is bad so you decide to punish him
Pairing: Female Reader x Dylan O’Brien
Warnings: References to alcohol and drinking, Swearing, light BDSM (bondage and hitting), Sub/Dom dynamic, Smut, unprotected sex (use protection!), orgasm denial, might be some British spellings
Word count: 3,554
Taglist: @hernameisnoellex3​
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You woke in the dark to a crashing sound coming from the hallway and sat up in bed rubbing your eyes. You reached across and turned on the light before you heard it again. There it was, unmistakably the sound of someone stumbling around outside the bedroom door.
Sitting up in your large warm bed you looked over at the space next to you. Empty. Which meant…ah yes, you thought, as the bedroom door crashed open and your boyfriend Dylan tripped across the threshold.
“Sssh” he slurred, putting his finger across his lips “You’ll wake Y/N. She doesn’t…doesn’t like it when I’m drunk”
“It’s not the drunkenness Dylan” you sighed sleepily “You can have as much fun with your friends as you like” you watched as he tried to remove one of his shoes without sitting down, resulting in him hopping awkwardly on one leg “I just don���t know why you always have to wake me up when you get back”
“It’s no…no fun if you’re not there” he finally crashed awkwardly onto the side of the bed and tore off his shoes “gotta wake you up to have fun” his socks followed swiftly afterwards and he removed his shirt in one surprisingly co-ordinated movement, then ruined it by tipping over sideways.
You admired the way his movements had messed up his hair, leaving it stuck up every which way. You also couldn’t help but look at his lean chest and the smattering of moles across his now bare skin.
He caught you looking and leered knowingly, crawling towards you across the covers wearing only his jeans. “There’s my best girl. Missed you” he bent his head towards you and kissed you softly on the lips, his denim clad thighs bracketing you on the bed. Unfortunately, the effect was ruined by him tasting of beer, whiskey and cigarettes.
“Ew Dylan” you squeaked “you taste like an ashtray”
His caramel-coloured eyes widened, and he looked hurt “Sorry, I’ll go...go brush them” he yawned, but instead lay back with his head on the pillow next to you. “Just…just going to have a small rest first” and with that he closed his eyes and passed out, leaving you to remove his jeans and go back to sleep.
***
The next morning Dylan took ages to emerge from the bedroom. In fact, it was pretty much the afternoon when he did, and then he spent a while having a slow shower, getting food and groaning softly to himself every so often.
This meant he didn’t notice how angry you were for a worryingly long time. You weren’t sulking, you didn’t sulk, you just stayed on your laptop out of his way and didn’t talk to him. When he bent to kiss you, you moved your head, so it landed on your cheek, and responded to his apology with a non-committal “hmm”
“Baby, baby I’m sorry” he said, the aftereffects of the drinking and smoking adding a gravelly tone to his voice. “It won’t happen again”
“But you always say that, and it always does happen again” you practically growled, letting your anger colour your voice.
“It won’t, I swear” he pleaded “let me make it up to you, I’ll do whatever you want”
“Whatever I want? You mean that?” you spoke thoughtfully, a few ideas running through your head.
“Anything” he put his hand over his heart and looked at you, sincerity filling his gaze. You wanted to believe him, but he’d always been an excellent actor.
“You’d do anything I say, without question?” you asked
“Anything” he repeated, a spark of fear appearing in his eyes. He licked his lips as he stood in front of you though, so you knew he was interested.
You stood and slowly walked around him, contemplating your options. You’d never showed Dylan your dominant side so far in your short but intense relationship, happy for him to take the reins. But now, now seemed a good opportunity to let some of your kinks show, see how he took it.
“Here’s how it’s going to go” you let your voice drop an octave and leant towards his ear “you’re going to do exactly what I say, and if you don’t, I’m going to punish you. Hard” you saw him gulp. “Do you know what the traffic light system is?” you asked
“Y-yes” he stuttered
“Tell me then” you asked thoughtfully. If he’d done this before it was going to be easier than you thought to get him to comply.
“Green means everything is good. Orange means slow down, discuss things. Red is stop straight away” he answered
“Good boy. Have you tried this before?” you asked, curious
“N-no. Just read some stuff, watched some things” he shifted from foot to foot, embarrassed
“You happy with it?” you questioned, mentally crossing your fingers for luck
“Fuck yes” he let out with a gasp, so you moved to stand directly behind him, pressing yourself against his back
“That’s the correct answer” you spoke into his ear “anything you don’t want me to do?”
“Um…no marks that can’t be covered by a shirt, I’ve got that thing I’m filming next week”
“Sure” you said, shrugging, “wouldn’t want any of your co-stars knowing what a naughty boy you’ve been”
He swallowed thickly, his throat moving “apart from that I’m all in. You can even get a little rough. That would be…that would be hot” you see him shiver in anticipation.
“Excellent” you practically purred. Then your tone changed, becoming sharp and demanding “I want you to strip completely. Then I want you to kneel on the floor right here, with your hands behind your head”
Speedily Dylan stripped off his clothes, throwing his shirt to one side. He hopped on one leg to remove his shoes, reminding you of last night.
“Wait” you said firmly, and he stopped, both shoes off but still wearing his jeans. You moved round him to go sit on the sofa. “Ok you can keep going, but slower”
He looked at you and slowly popped the button on his jeans. “Good boy” you smiled, and he smirked back as he lowered the zipper. You’d always liked this view, watching as he pushed the denim down and off. Then he hooked his fingers under the waistband of his grey boxer briefs and you unconsciously licked your lips and crossed your legs. Your eyes followed the trail of hair leading down as he slowly removed them, revealing his far from inadequate cock.
You watched admiringly as he tossed aside the briefs and knelt as you’d asked, hands behind his head showing off his biceps.
“Nice” you complimented “what a good boy you are”
You noticed his pupils widen at that, and his dick twitched, starting to harden. Interesting.
“Now stay there, don’t move an inch while I go get ready” you ordered
“Yes” he said quietly
“Oh, and from now on you’ll address me only as Mistress” you added
“Yes mistress” he replied obediently. Oh, this was going to be fun, you thought.
Quickly you returned to the bedroom and stripped, changing into your black satin lingerie set. It was one of Dylan’s favourites. Then you put on your highest black stilettos, the soft suede ones that you only wore if you knew you didn’t have to do much walking. They were unbelievably sexy but made you slightly taller than Dylan which always felt strange. Not today though, today feeling more powerful was the point.
Then you crossed to the closet, reaching into the back and pulling out a small cardboard box. You removed some items from inside, placing them on the bedside table. A couple of silk scarves, a soft leather flogger, and your favourite item – a length of black rope. It was deceptively strong but coated in something to make it comfortable. After all you didn’t want Dylan arriving on set with rope burns. That would take some explaining. You thought for a moment before taking it out of the bedroom with you.
Dylan was exactly as you’d left him, kneeling in front of the sofa, hands placed on the back of his head. You walked slowly in front of him, listening to the sharp tap of your heels on the polished floor and letting your hips sway seductively. You heard him take a sharp intake of breath before you turned to face him.
“God” he groaned “you look incredible”
“Did I say you could talk?” you snapped, the smirk on your face in contrast to your sharp tone
“N-no. Sorry…mistress” he responded quickly
“I’ll have to punish you for that” you said, eyes narrowing. At that his eyes widened, and he bit his lower lip, biting back another noise.
You stepped slowly towards him “hands held out in front” you commanded, smiling to yourself as he quickly complied. You stood in front of him, not being able to stop yourself running a hand through his hair. He started turning his head into it, but you quickly removed your hand - “eyes forwards”
His head snapped up “yes mistress. Sorry”
You bent in front of him and wrapped the rope around his wrists, tying each one tightly but leaving a length in between. You made sure the knots were secure but could be undone quickly if needed. “Colour?” you checked
“Green. Definitely green” he replied.
“Good boy” you praised, and tugged on the rope to lift him to his feet “I think we should take this to the bedroom, don’t you?”
“Yes mistress” he complied, following as you pulled him along by the rope.
When you got to the bedroom you led him over to the bed and made him lie on his back, hooking the rope between his hands over the bedpost so he couldn’t move. You made sure the pillows propped his head up and took some of the pressure off his wrists.
“Comfy?”
“Not entirely, but still green. So green” he grinned up at you.
“Good. Going to blindfold you now” you said, picking up one of the silk scarves and moving towards his head.
Dylan pouted “but…wanna see you. You look so good; you have no idea”
“Did I ask for your permission Dylan?” you questioned. He shook his head. “You’re just making this worse for yourself. If you’re a very good boy, I’ll let you see me later. Let’s try that again - I’m going to blindfold you now.”
“Yes mistress” he replied sulkily
“Better. Still think you need to learn your place though – we’ll work on that” you said sharply as you placed the scarf over his eyes and tied it at the back, taking the opportunity to give his hair a swift tug while you did so.
Now Dylan could no longer see you, you stood back and admired the view. He looked delectable, his arms stretched over his head, his pale skin with a flush starting on his chest, his impressive cock half hard between his legs. You wanted to touch him, to lick a path between all his moles and get him moaning. Oh wait, you could totally do that.
You moved onto the bed to straddle him, first kissing a path across his stubbled jawline and rubbing your nose across his cheek before pressing your mouth to his. You licked into him, deepening the kiss and tangling a hand in his hair to tip his head back, exposing the long line of his neck. As you bit gently at the tendon of his shoulder, he bucked his hips up and you felt him fully hard against you.
“No – no moving” you admonished, pushing him down with your hips and being rewarded with a pained moan from Dylan. “And try not to make too much noise or I’ll need to gag you”
At that Dylan made a strangled sound, biting it off before it could fully leave his lips. You shut off any protests by returning your mouth to his and enjoying the feeling of his tongue against yours.
Soon it wasn’t enough, and you started licking down his body, interspersing broad stripes with your tongue with small nips and bites. When you reached his nipples, you let your tongue lave over them, then tweaked them with your fingers causing Dylan to buck his hips again. To stop his movements, you placed both hands on his hips and pushed him into the mattress firmly, turning your attention to his cock.
This was the easy bit – blow jobs always got Dylan worked up. You breathed over his cock, hearing him hold his breath in return. Slowly you licked from the base to the head, collecting the drops of pre cum that had collected and savouring them on your tongue. As you took the head into your mouth and wrapped your hand around the base Dylan started moaning
“Fuck yes, yes baby. So good, so good to me”
“Sssh” you stopped touching him to admonish “no talking”
You returned your attention to your actions, taking him towards the back of your throat and working past your instinctive gag reflex by breathing through your nose. You bobbed your head for a while, enjoying the heaviness of him on your tongue. You reached down with your other hand and cupped his balls loosely. And as you twisted your tongue over the sensitive spot below the head you felt Dylan tense up and his balls tighten.
“Oh god right there yes, so good gonna – gonna” he moaned above you
So, you stopped. You removed yourself completely from him and climbed off the bed. Dylan let out a frustrated huff.
“N-no! Why did you stop?” he pleaded, breathless.
“I told you to be quiet. You’re not being very good. Only good boys get to come” you stated simply.
“I’m sorry mistress. Please, please let me come”
“Nope” you said, emphasising the ‘p’ sound with a pop of your lips “you’ll have to be good first. Now, I think we can put your mouth to better use, don’t you?”
Dylan made a sound that was half pained, half hopeful. A kind of questioning whine. Quickly you removed your bra and panties, leaving you just in your black suede stilettos. You climbed back onto the bed and moved up, so your knees were at his chest. You dug your sharp heels slightly into his sides, just to remind him they were there. Placing a hand on the headboard for leverage, you moved so your core was in front of his face.
“Lick” you instructed “and make it good, you’ve got to make it up to me”
“Yes mistress” he said obediently, already moving his face forwards and feeling you out with his tongue. Quickly he started to lap over your clit, sending electric signals down your spine.
“See” you groaned “you can be a good boy”
He groaned in return, clearly enjoying this. You let go of the headboard and moved higher, placing your hands flat on the wall so you could manoeuvre yourself over his face more. You buried his lips in your core, gasping as his tongue prodded up into your entrance before returning to your clit and moving in small circles. You moved a hand to your breasts, pinching hard at the nipples to increase the feeling. Slowly but surely you felt your release start building from your toes upwards.
“C-colour?” you rasped, worried you might be suffocating him below you
“Green…green…green” came the muffled reply, and it was the vibrations from his words that finally sent you tumbling over the edge, crying out. “Fuck yes. There, there!”. He kept licking you through your orgasm until you felt over sensitive and moved away from him.
You moved back down the bed on slightly shaky knees and looked at Dylan. He looked almost as fucked as you felt, his face slick with your juices and his cock leaking pre cum onto his stomach. The scarf blindfold still sat over his eyes and the blush that had started on his chest now extended to his throat. A light sheen of sweat covered his body as he panted.
“Very good” you praised him “I knew you could be a good boy really. Eating me up so well”
At your words he twisted slightly on the bed, his cock looking harder if that was even possible.
“Do you like that Dylan? Do you like hearing what a good boy you are?” you asked
He seemed to struggle with words for a moment, and then replied his voice cracking “Yes, yes I like that mistress. Want to be a good boy for you”
“Of course you do. Good boys get to come. But not yet, right now I think you should be punished a bit more until you know your place. Then if you’re very good and quiet and don’t move, I’ll ride you until you come” you promised
“Yes mistress” he capitulated quickly
You nodded in satisfaction even though he couldn’t see you and got off the bed to walk to the bedside table. There you picked up the soft black leather flogger – made up of many strips of leather with a handle it resembled a small whip but could be used in a number of different ways.
First you ran it over Dylan’s face letting him smell the leather. Then you moved it downwards, letting the tips fall over the planes of his chest like a brush. The blush on his throat moved up to his face, and you saw him bite off a sound.
“Good, that’s really good Dylan” you said softly, continuing your ministrations with the flogger. You teased it down his chest and the trail of hair there, ending up brushing over his balls and cock softly. At that he couldn’t help it, his hips bucked off the bed desperate to get more contact on his hard leaking length.
“Oh no, what did I say about moving?” you admonished “I can see I’ll have to punish you more harshly. Colour?”
“Green. Still green, goddamn you” he replied
“There’s no call for that” you said and brought the flogger down sharply on his stomach letting the leather snap. He gasped at the feeling but managed not to make any other sound or move.
“I’m going to do that five more times” you stated, “and you’re going to count for me, ok?”
“Y-yes mistress” he said shakily
You moved the flogger down to his inner thighs so he could feel it there, and then snapped it against his pale skin again.
“One” he dutifully counted
The second hit landed on his other thigh, and you alternated back and forth each time. The skin reddened until you knew it was overly sensitive. When he got to a gasped out five, you bent over and sucked right over the reddened skin, leaving a darker mark that would remind him of the feeling for days.
“Well done” you praised “that was excellent. I think you deserve a reward now, don’t you Dylan?”
“Yes mistress. Please, please” he didn’t seem able to get any more words out. His cock looked painfully hard now, and he gasped against the pillows. You decided he’d probably had enough punishment and could be put out of his misery.
You returned to straddle him on the bed. Still soaking wet from before, you easily took his whole length as you lowered yourself onto him in one movement. You felt your walls flex around him and you braced your hands against his chest as you started riding him. Slowly at first, then faster as you heard his breathing quicken. You reached down to circle your clit with your fingers, determined to come before him.
“Hold on Dylan, just be a good boy for a bit longer and don’t come until I say so”
“Please mistress. No more. I c-can’t” he pleaded; his voice wrecked
“You can, I know you can. Hold on” you increased the pressure on your clit and felt yourself tense up. Below you Dylan bit his lip to stop himself crying out as he desperately tried to hold off his own orgasm. As you felt your release wash over you you clenched around him, and you took pity on him
“Ok, go on – come for me Dylan” you whispered into his ear
His hips bucked up into you at that, and you reached up and removed the blindfold. It seemed that the sight of you finally did it, and he came with a scream, his body arching against the wrist restraints. You felt the warmth of his cum filling you up as you rode out the last waves of your own orgasm.
You reached up and quickly untied the knots securing the rope, removing it and examining his wrists for any damage. Luckily there was nothing permanent, and you tossed the rope away, letting him slip out of you and moving to cuddle against his side. You licked a bead of sweat from one of his nipples and he twitched sensitively.
“So” you asked, “will you be waking me up drunk anymore?”
“Baby, if we get to do that again I’ll give up smoking and drinking completely” he growled, voice low “that was incredible”
“That’s the correct answer” you smiled back… “what a very, very good boy you are”
THE END
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massivedrickhead · 3 years ago
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[OPEN], pretty please?😢🙏🏼
My budy @justis14 also requested this, so thanks to both of you ❤️
[ OPEN ] : sender is openly emotionally vulnerable in front of the receiver, trusting them with this moment of vulnerability.
From this list of prompts
Read on AO3
Beca looked up as she heard the sound of keys in the door and hurried to wipe her eyes.
“Oh, hey!” Chloe said, brightly, as she walked into the kitchen. “I didn’t expect anyone to be home, aren’t you supposed to be at the station?”
“I thought you had class?”
“Cancelled,” Chloe said, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl. “Professor is sick.”
Beca nodded, but didn’t look up.
Chloe took a second to look at Beca properly. There was something off that she couldn’t place.
There weren’t a lot of people that could read Beca Mitchell, but Chloe was proud to class herself as one of them. She knew when Beca was angry or happy or bored. She knew when she was excited about something, or when she was nervous. But she’d never seen her like this before.
Her nose was slightly red, and there were smudges of mascara under her eyes.
Had she been… crying?
Beca didn’t cry. Chloe had never seen Beca cry.
Beca looked at her, and yes, she confirmed she had definitely been crying. Was still currently crying, in fact. Her eyes were full of tears, and Chloe knew she had to tread carefully. Beca looked ready to bolt at any second. She wasn’t vulnerable with other people - she hated being vulnerable with other people.
Chloe swallowed, and took a seat beside Beca, her easy smile returning to her face. “He said he was sick, but apparently he’s just really hungover. Cooper, this guy who sits next to me, said he saw him in a strip club last night totally wasted.”
Beca let out a laugh, and wiped her eyes again. “Gross.”
“Yeah, Cooper’s kinda sleazy,” Chloe said. “But he always brings snacks to class so I befriended him.”
“What kinda snacks?” Beca asked, hating the roughness in her voice.
“Peanut butter cups.”
“Your favourite,” Beca said with another laugh.
“Yep.”
There was a small silence in which Beca wiped her eyes again.
“Come on then, who do I have to fight for making you cry?”
Beca shook her head before her face crumpled and tears fell despite her every effort to keep them at bay.
“I’m so stupid,” she said. She bit down on her lip and let out a huff of frustration. “I don’t know how to do this.”
“How to do what?” Chloe asked, handing Beca a pack of tissues from her purse.
“Be… open. I don’t like people seeing me like this,” she wiped her eyes and nose with a tissue. “Why do you have these?”
Chloe shrugged. “I cry a lot. I cried earlier because I saw a really good dog. So what happened?”
“I, um, I did something really stupid,” Beca said, her eyes brimming with tears again.
“Tell me about it,” Chloe said, nudging Beca with her elbow. “I’m sure it can’t be that stupid.”
“You know Luke at the radio station? I, um, I slept with him. About a month ago.”
“Oh,” Chloe said, feeling something twist in her stomach.
“It just happened once,” Beca said. “I… I was trying to get him to play some of my new stuff and he… he was being a jackass about it. He said he’d only do it if I agreed to go for a drink with him. So I did. And one drink turned into, like, a lot of drinks. It didn’t mean anything, it was just sex.”
“Okay… I mean it kinda seems like he took advantage of you but let’s just… shelve that for the moment. How come you’re upset about it now? Did something else happen?” Chloe asked.
“I’m… look, please don’t freak out. I’m pregnant,” Beca said, looking at Chloe like she wanted to bolt again. Like she was waiting to bolt again. “I’m pregnant, Chloe.”
“Holy shit,” Chloe said. “Yeah, it makes sense to cry over that. Does Luke know?”
Beca nodded and more tears fell. “I went to tell him today. I don’t want to keep it, I told him that, but he still freaked out. Kept saying it couldn’t be his and that I… I must have been-” her voice broke - “screwing other people.”
“Hey,” Chloe said, softly. “Come here.” She pulled Beca into a hug. “It’s gonna be okay, okay? I promise. And I’m gonna kick Luke’s sexy British ass the next time I see it.”
Beca laughed, and held onto Chloe tighter. It was nice. Comforting. Grounding.
“What do you need?” Chloe asked. “How can I help?”
“I, um, I went to the doctors yesterday. In order to… you know… and I have to take these pills. And apparently it’s gonna hurt. And I just need someone to be there with me, because I don’t want to do this alone. I need you to be with me.”
“Of course,” Chloe said. “Of course I’ll be there.”
“Thank you,” Beca said. “You’re… the best Chloe. The literal best person I know.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty great,” Chloe said, ending their hug and placing a kiss on Beca’s forehead. “You wanna go grab some lunch?”
“Sounds great,” Beca replied, wiping her eyes again.
“Maybe go wash your face first? Unless you really like the Alice Cooper look?”
“Jerk,” Beca said, laughing as she headed for the bathroom.
“You love me really.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
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my-socialdiary · 4 years ago
Text
Behind His Mask
Words Count: 1973
Pairing: Childe x Lumine
Warning: it contains intense fighting scenes, blood
Here we go again, an angsty fanfiction about Childe and Lumine. For these past days I’ve been CONSUMED by this pairing and all I can think is that writing angsty story for them just becauseeeeee. And again, english is not my first language so bear with me >_< enjoy! 
***
He pushed them, they went away. It’s fair. It’s how things should be done. 
He also pushed her. He pushed her so badly, he even did wicked; he lied, he betrayed her, he even broke her faith in him. He showed her his bad side. 
Yet, 
She stayed. She smiled. She put up with everything he did. 
She’s too good to be true. She’s too perfect for someone like him.
She’s…
Unreal.
Lumine knows sooner or later, she needs to confront her biggest enemy in this quest given by Zhongli. Her enemy, he is someone who is now carving the biggest scar in her life, pushing her away because of the perspective that has been given to him, made him believe that he’s wicked. 
Yes, dozens of times, she wanted to run away from him but she just couldn't do that. Somehow, deep down in her heart, she wants to believe… in him. 
And today, she’s trying to not let her faith be shaken while she’s seeing Childe一now finally一standing in front of her, showing her that he’s her enemy she needs to beat in order to complete the quest. 
“Well… what do we have here?” His voice sounds different. It’s not the voice of Childe she knows. “Finally, the time has come. I don’t need to explain anything, don’t I? Let’s just start the battle, then.” As he was saying that, he forms a water blade each in his hands. The sound of water along with the groans of the whale. 
“No. I want an explanation.”
“No. You don’t need one,” he said. “You’ve already seen the facts but you just want to believe in your own thoughts and opinions.” Childe walks forward, he lifts up his right hand and makes a slashing move towards Lumine. 
All she needs is just one second. She dodge her way and try to balance herself while aiming her right hand forward, palm facing directly to Childe, ready to cast palm vortex. She’s shocked by Childe’s sudden movement, but she tries to calm herself. She’s now looking at him, and trying to convince herself that this is still the man she knows. But all she sees is that the warm smile is now replaced by a cold, distant smile. “You have no idea who I am, do you?” His eyes were cold and lifeless. There’s anger, rage and… guilt. “Why are you holding back?” He asks with his husky voice. He raised up his eyebrow and gave her a smirk. 
“I demand an explanation, Childe,” meanwhile, she takes her sword from her back. “Now.”
“I told you since we first met,” He is now moving again and striking her with his blade, twice. Which makes her now tossed to the side, dealing high damage to her body. Pain creeped up through her palm, making her unable to cast anything except fight him with her sword. “I am a bad guy. But you don’t believe.” Before Childe can do anything, she gathered up her stamina and stood up then ran to the center of the Golden House. 
“The truth is, I was just going to aggressively ignore that part until it goes away,” she said. Suddenly, a burst of wind fills up this space. Soon enough Childe sees a hurricane come right towards him, but he doesn’t have enough time to escape from it. The pain it caused is not high enough to stop him so as soon as he freed himself from the grasp of the hurricane, he took out his bow and shot her with six consecutive water arrows. Her body is now marked with Riptide Blast which deals more damage to her body. 
“That’s definitely not going to work!” He shouted. He now changes himself into his delusion, which is an electro and casts his homing attack. A purple-ish ring of electricity appears around her body. Before it can deal anymore damage, she runs and attacks him with her sword, once, twice, thrice. Cancelling his moves. 
Childe seems tough but now she’s sure that she’s dealing enough damage to him. And that makes her heart ache. But she is still attacking him, half of it represents her anger towards Childe. I hate you. You hurt me. I want to kill you so badly. The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. She feels the muscles of her arms tremble like a small child caught stealing those delicious fried radish balls. Her walls, the walls that hold her up all this time just… collapsed. Ruined. Destroyed. 
Her sword is making clanging sound when it met with Childe’s water blade as he tries to defend himself. With her endless attack, she is now slowly pushing Childe to the wall. I can't stop... I can't stop. Why can I not stop crying? She thinks to herself. Her vision is blurry, but she still can see expressions Childe makes. Eventually, she now pinned him to the wall. Panting, she stopped attacking and now looked at him. Her right hand holding a sword pointed to his throat, ready to slit it while her left arm held him in his chest. “All this time… you made me feel so many… emotions,” she muttered between her breath. “I was sad, confused and angry… but I couldn’t understand why,” She pressed her sword gradually into his throat. “But why does it have to be you? Why, Childe, why?” She just broke down. The sobs bursted out, ripping through her throat, muscles, and guts. 
She didn’t care anymore. All she wants is just to stop this nonsense, go back in time and choose not to follow him after he saved her from the Millelith guard. She would rather not meet him. Or she would rather not come to Liyue at all. 
Next, all she knew was she dropped her sword with a trace of Childe’s blood and pressing her forehead into his chest while grabbing his armor with both hands. She cried. And cried. And cried. She can’t hold it anymore, she chooses not to. The pain came out like madness in the form of a scream. She thought if she acted like it didn’t matter, then it wouldn’t. But turns out the more she pretends, the greater pain she gets. 
“I don’t want to put up with everything you did anymore,” She whispered. 
***
Memories are the worst form of torture. 
And Childe couldn’t agree more with that. You can heal the pain from physical torture with herbs and medicine fom Bubu Pharmacy but you can’t just cut you head off to get rid of things you don’t want to remember. Even though you really want to do that. Even though that ‘thing’ is the most beautiful thing he ever experienced. The thing that he will never, ever dare to dream in his life. And that’s exactly what he feels now. 
The muffled sobs wracked against his chest. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the anger he tried to keep. Except for those damn memories. Instead of forgetting it, it keeps playing in his head, rewind itself, filling his mind with a picture of her smiles, her cheerful expression, her flowing hair, her beautiful golden eyes and conclude with the sound of her footsteps, keep coming back to him even though he pushed her away. 
Childe, I’m back! Are you feeling better now?
Childe, I hope you don’t mind if I come back here. 
Childe, let’s go! You won’t think I’ll leave you here alone, will you?
Childe, I was being too pushy yesterday, wasn’t I? Sorry, I’ll try my best not to do it again if you don’t like it. 
Childe…!
Childe!
...Childe!
He tries to shrug that off. He doesn’t want to remember anything at all. 
Childe looks down where he sees her bleeding head, probably from one of his attacks. That girl is still burying her face in his chest, clutching his clothes, begging him to stop all of this, while he tried so hard to not lift up both his arms and bring her to his embrace. The sound of her footsteps played again. Stop coming back. Just… stop. I didn’t deserve you. His head now swarms with new formed-regrets. 
“I regret a lot of things,” he finally opens his mouth. The heaviness was in his limbs as much as his throat. He sounded tired. “Having this kind of conversation tops the list.” He pushed Lumine from himself just to see her face, now red and wet because of tears. He tried to look away but his eyes were stubborn. “Now let’s finish this game and��”
“Is this a game to you?” 
“It’s nothing more than a game with reward,” He forms the electric polearm. Ready to fight her. He’s bleeding, but he doesn’t care. “You should’ve slit my throat. Now I won’t give you another chance.” As he said that, the mask that he keeps on his hair flies over to cover his face entirely. His mind is now consumed and so all of his action. The anger form in a mask is now a safe haven to protect him from the regrets. With this anger, now he can freely do anything he wants. With this anger, his fear of hurting someone he cherishes is now gone.  
“I give you the chance to kill me, but you don’t,” With the mask on, his voice has now changed drastically. “This is what cost you for thinking that I can be tricked by your actions!” That gravelly voice is now filling up the entire Golden House, making it tremble a little. Without hesitation, he comes towards the weaponless Lumine and attacks her with his electric polearm. He didn't mind electrifying, slashing and stabbing her with his weapon. Lumine tried nothing to defend herself, she’s now beaten, smacked, thumped and all of her body is screaming with ache but she keeps doing nothing. Because she knows; nothing is matter for him right now. He had been titled Eleventh of The Fatui Harbingers for a reason. 
Behind his mask, it pained him to let out all of his attacks to her yet soon enough… a little bit more energy in a form of purple flash and waves combined into one deadly attack should be enough to kill her, giving him a sense of satisfaction amongst agony to end all of this. 
Childe is now casting his final spell when suddenly a burst of wind blows away his mask, exposing his rough face. At that time, his eyes locked to Lumine who is now strengthless, her eyes are half closed, and she’s bleeding everywhere. It was Lumine who blew the wind for the last time and made him realize what he did to her.
“Do… it…” She said under her breath. 
“No…” The anger is now gone, his emotions are back, his eyes now filled with fear, anxiety and guilt. He threw his polearm and kneel beside the girl who did nothing but good things to him. “What did I do… No…Lumine, no…” He has seen so many deaths, he never truly cried. But now, he’s unable to speak, unable to breath. The world around him becomes darker. The weight in his chest locks in his throats. A token of sorrow and misery. He bawls and screams, and that is more than crying. It sounded like a desolate weeping that comes from a person drowned in the sea of regrets. His tears mingled with the rain outside Golden House which suddenly showered the entire Liyue and his gasping wails echoed around that place. 
“Childe一” She whispered, and coughed a little bit. 
“All this time,” he cuts her sentence. His voice is now trembling with agony. “Why are you doing that?”
“Doing… what?”
“Treating me…” He sobs, again. “Like a person.”
She smiles. “Because you are.”
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tinkerbellwoo · 4 years ago
Text
Broken Wings - J. Wooyoung
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Synopsis - You take a nasty tumble after going flower picking in a meadow far from home, that's when you meet a sweet fairy boy, Wooyoung.
Genre - Fluff
AU - Fairy AU
Pairing - Fairy!Wooyoung x Fairy!Reader (F)
Warnings - Swearing and mentions of cuts/bruises
Word Count - 1,400+ oopsies
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Minutes ago, all was well. You were gliding through the sky, weaving between trees as you clutched a collection of freshly picked flower buds to bring back to your den. Until one of your flowers fell from your grip, causing you to lose concentration and accidentally flying directly into a branch. 
You fell through many sticks and leaves as you failed to regain control, hitting your head against the rough bark on a tree before landing roughly on a large leaf where you lay motionless for a little while.
You’ve now managed to regain consciousness, sitting upright as you attempt to adjust to the situation, your head remains fuzzy but you seem to remember where things went wrong and how you ended up here. Examining your surroundings, you catch sight of your flowers, scattered beneath you and beaten by the tumble you took moments ago.
“Ah shit, my flowers...” You groan to yourself. Your knees and elbows sting due to the scrapes littering your skin. Fluttering your wings in an attempt to stand, you feel a sharp pain shoot through them to your spine, causing you to fall onto your hands and knees. “Fuck. You’ve got to be kidding” You hiss through your teeth at the pain.
Tears begin to stream down your face, partially because of the pain but also because you were so excited to go flower picking today and now your once-delightful outing just feels pointless. “What am I supposed to do now? I can't fly-”
Suddenly, you hear the light fluttering of wings. You look around in confusion, knowing full well it couldn't be your own pair due to the damage they received just moments ago. The surface of the leaf dips slightly as you look behind you. 
At first you’re fearful, what if you fell onto another colonies territory and they're angry? What if it’s a large bird coming to eat you? But all of your worries subside when you’re met with the sweet smile of the boy standing behind you. His wings are a shimmering gold, glowing against his pretty, tanned skin. His black hair frames his face beautifully as the blonde underneath creates an admirable contrast.
“Looks like you took quite the tumble there” He giggles “Are you okay?” He asks. You can't respond, you're far too focused on how attractive this stranger is. “Sorry, I should’ve introduced myself. I’m Wooyoung” He smiles, holding out a hand to help you up from the floor. You gladly accept his offer and dust the dirt from your legs as you find your feet.
“Hi uh- I’m Y/N and... I think I’m fine” You reply, slightly embarrassed that this gorgeous stranger has just witnessed you take the tumble of your life. “How embarrassing...” You whisper to yourself as a harsh blush spreads across your cheeks.
He giggles at your adorable state but your face burns more due to the feeling of his gaze on you. “Hey, it happens to the best of us” He comforts you with a hand on your shoulder. “Are you hurt? Your wings are damaged and it looks like you've got a few nasty cuts” He says, concern laced in his voice. 
“It hurts when I try to fly, the scratches don't bother me but I’m so far from home I just don't know what I’m going to do if I can't use my wings” You respond, gazing down at the floor in disappointment as you pull small twigs from your hair.
Wooyoung watches your sad expression, feeling unbearably sorry for you. He’s not one to take much notice of strangers but, when he saw you in the meadow his heart skipped a beat, his glittery aura flickered pink and his pointy ears twitched. He knew he may never see you again so he secretly followed you to find out where you came from. Right now he's doing his best to act like finding you was an accident.
“I don't live too far from here. If you come back to my den, I can give you some bluebell syrup. You’ll be healed by tomorrow and you can be on your way!” He says, hopeful that you'll accept his offer. “Sure, what other choice do I have right now” You laugh shyly. 
“Great! I-I’m going to have to carry you though... for obvious reasons” He blushes lightly. You giggle at the sweetness radiating from him, noticing the pink tint to his wings and the tips of his ears. A wave of confidence pushes you to wrap your arms around his neck as he holds you against him in preparation to take flight.
--------- Time Skip --------- 
“Feeling any better?” Woo asks as he disposes of the wet towels he used to clean your scuffs and scratches. “Mhm, thank you again for this. I really didn't know what I was going to do” You reply after sipping the last of the bluebell syrup he had prepared for you. “Of course!” He smiles.
“So I wanted to ask you something-” He begins with a serious tone before getting cut off by the door swinging open and rebounding off the wall. “YO BRO GUESS WHAT I JUST- woah who? what? when? how?” The boy practically yells followed by a string of questions upon noticing you.
Wooyoung pinches the bridge of his nose as he sighs heavily in disappointment. “You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend- OW!” The guy chuckles, slapping Wooyoung’s shoulders but yelping when he receives a tug to his wings as a sign to stop his teasing.
“Y/N this is San, my best friend. San this is Y/N, she's not my girlfriend. She's hurt so I’m helping her” Wooyoung introduces you both. His aura flickers pink again, causing you to avert your gaze out of shyness. “Ohhhh I see! Wooyoungie has a crush!” San cheers before being chased out of the den by an embarrassed and slightly angry Wooyoung.
“I’m sorry about him. You should get some rest if you want to be able to fly well tomorrow. Is there anything you need?” Wooyoung asks softly. “No I should be fine, thanks. Where should I sleep?” You reply. “Sleep in my bed and I’ll stay on the couch, comfort is the key to recovery!” He smiles. 
“Goodnight, Wooyoung” You call out. “Goodnight!” He replies from the next room. You pull the wool blanket to your chin, blushing profusely as you recap the events with Wooyoung today. Your pointy ears twitch as your wings turn pink before you drift off with a smile.
Waking up to the smell of freshly baked goodies, you climb out of bed and walk to the kitchen to find chocolate chip cookies and an elderflower drink to compliment the treats. “He’s so sweet” You whisper to yourself with a smile. He left a note next to the meal which reads: “Y/N, I hope you slept well and are feeling healthy! I’ve had to run some errands but will be back before noon. Please hang around until I return! - Woo :)”
You polish off the plate and wash up the dishes as you wait for him to get back, it’s the least you can do for him after his kind gestures. 11am rolls around and the gorgeous boy walks through the door with his hands behind his back. “Hi Woo, where did you go?” You ask, curiosity overcoming you due to his actions. 
He approaches you as the pink tint decorates his wings and his cheeks once again. “These are for you” He says as he holds out an array of colourful flowers and some buds of the flowers you had dropped during your fall. 
“I felt bad seeing how upset you were when you dropped your flowers yesterday so, have these! Also, I wanted to ask you yesterday but for obvious and unfortunate reasons, I didn't get the chance-” He says causing you both to giggle. “I was going to ask if you wanted to go on a date with me-” He starts before being cut off by you wrapping your arms around his neck in a tight hug.
“Of course I’ll go on a date with you!” You accept with a smile. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in for a sweet kiss. Both of your wings flutter as you embrace each other, a light dusting of glitter falling from you both as you swear you hear the light sound of bells ringing in your ears.
You knew from the moment you met him, he’d be the one for you.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
A/N - Okay sooo, this is way longer than I wanted it to be but its cute so we’re gonna stick with it and pretend like it ain’t as long as it is okay? okay! Lol I had fun writing this, I felt really creative and I definitely want to write different AU’s in the future. Thanks for reading :3 💙
Tag List - @simphwa @yunhoiseyecandy @jonghoisababie @multidreams-and-desires
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kiegosbby · 4 years ago
Note
HEATHER PART 2 PLEASE
ok so this is NOT how I wanted this to turn out but, it’s 1 am and I would like some sleep so if you guys have any suggestions, please let me know and I’ll rewrite it however you want
** UNEDITED **
@yoonjisedits @honestgalaxy @sicbich @traumapolline @comically-sleep-deprived
I think that’s everyone, sorry if I missed you
✁- - - - - - r- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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aizawa stood there, staring at you as you got in your car and drove away.
he heard the voice of ms joke behind him, before he felt a hand touch his shoulder. he turned around and let out a annoyed sigh, giving her a death glare
“Zawa! Shouldn’t you be home yet? Kinda late to be hanging around in a parking lot?” She sounded so happy? How could she be so happy all the time? It annoyed him so much. Can’t she just shut up for one second?
“cut the crap joke, and dont think I won’t forget that shit you pulled at lunch either. using your quirk on me? That’s a low blow.” he started walking towards his car, trying to wrap his mind around why you, the women he loved had ran away from him. denied him love?
he thought you had feelings for him. all the looks you would give him, how you would become nervous around him, everything had signs of you liking him. he was relieved none the less, mostly because he had been deeply in love with you the moment he saw you, but lets ignore that for now
You were sitting on your couch, on the phone with midnight trying to explain what happened today, and what you saw
“then she called him zawa! O-only I call him that! And did I say that he was laughing with her? I’ve never made him look or feel that way. I could never be enough for him. how could I be so stupid Nemuri?” your speech was filled with hiccups, of course you had been drinking. your little heart couldn’t take this heartbreak
“y/n maybe there just friends? They have known each other for a very long time they could be close. and anyways your way better than her! I would much rather spend time with you then her.” she was trying to reassure you, you could tell but you wanted to deny it
“and when I told him I wanted to forget the kiss, after I left he started talking to joke right after. You believe that fucking bullshit?” more tears were running down your face as she tried to calm you telling you how you were better and didn’t deserve any of this
“I’m g-gonna go I’ll see you tomorrow” you hung up quickly before she could say anything, throwing yourself on the cushions and crying until you fell asleep
A couple streets away, aizawa laid in his bed staring at his ceiling thinking about you. he wanted so badly to ask you why you wanted to forget. he loved you, but it wasn’t meant to be.
he felt a pang shoot through his heart and felt tears fall from his eyes. his face stayed the same as always. he closed his eyes hoping to get some sleep and forget about everything
the next morning was rough for the both of you
you had woke up hungover, head aching and needing more sleep but, you did have a job
aizawa woke up feeling more tired then normal, the feeling still running through his heart, hurting him over and over
you felt the same way, but you knew how to cope with it. It had happened to you before and you weren’t going to let it affect you. he didn’t want you so you were going to move on.
on the other hand, aizawa was prepared to fix it. he came to the conclusion that he wasn’t ready to lose you and he never would be.
he would find you before school started and confront you. if you were actually serious he needed to know the reason.
you walked into the school, bags under your eyes which were red and puffy from crying and your hair was a mess, sticking all over the place. with a drink in your hand to help you get over the hangover, you took medicine to help and began walking to your class, hoping this day would be over quick
but of course that wouldn’t happen, and you saw him walking towards you. he hadn’t seen you yet so you tried to get away, dipping into the first classroom you saw
you looked around, trying to see where you were and your heart dropped when you realized where you had ended up.
aizawa classroom.
of fucking course
you mentally slapped yourself, how dumb could you be? you’d never live this down
you heard the door open and turned your head, watching as his face lit up at the sight of you, confusion quickly fogged your head
“Y-y/n I didn’t expect to see you here I was going to look for you but now that your here can we please talk about what happened?” he walked to his desk setting his stuff down as you closed your eyes, sighing from the headache you had. you definitely weren’t ready for this
“I don’t think there’s much to talk about, I already told you yesterday”
“but why? You seemed so happy when we kissed! I know you liked me I saw how you acted around me so what happened? Was it me?”
why was he acting like this? He should be happy that you didn’t want him. He could be with joke happily.
“what’s the big deal huh? I’m doing this for you shoto! can’t you see that? I’ve seen the way you look at her, you love her don’t you?” you were fuming at this point,
“who are you talking about? Have you fucking lost it?” at this point you could almost see the smoke flowing out of his ears.
“I’m talking about joke, you think I wouldn’t notice? You can’t just kiss me and like someone else like that!”
he looked angry, well beyond angry. it scared you
“you think I LIKE JOKE? ARE YOU CRAZY?”
he yelled at you, walking closer to you, and you took steps back rethinking this whole decision
“y/n. I don’t like anyone. but I-I love you so please just please don’t end it like this I need you I can’t just forget you I can’t just throw away my feelings!” his head hung low, fist clenched at his sides and you never saw him look more pathetic then he did now
wait did he say he loved you?
millions of thoughts ran through your head as you stared at him with confusion, not knowing what to say
“please say something y/n..”
there was a moment of silence, before you spoke up
“Y-you love me?” you were confused, you thought he didn’t care for you at all, but he loves you?
“yes y/n. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. your perfect to me and I wouldn’t want anyone else a-and I promise that whatever you think I have with joke isn’t anything yesterday when you saw us she was using her quirk on me it wasn’t anything you need to worry about I have no feels for her at all and I-“
“zawa your rambling”
he looked up at you and a small smile graced your face, making his heart beat faster
“and I love you too..”
he walked up picking you up in a hug and spun you both around, making you both let out a laugh leaning your foreheads on each other’s and you felt happy. happy that you finally had him
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batarella · 4 years ago
Text
I Don’t Hate You - Part 8 (Jason Todd x Reader)
we’ve come to the point where 4.2k words is considered short for this series. we love character development.
WORDS: 4202 WARNINGS: I smiled like I just smoked a blunt while writing this do I even have to say it
Masterlist
I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST
-----
Light and darkness can be the most shallow, categorical means to describe a human being, one whose ways were never to their fault, never to their choosing, when an upbringing has caused either optimistic or cynical perceptions on the simplest things like the weather. Calling them someone who embodies ‘light’ would bring their minds up so high in the sky that they’ll end up believing they will forever be too bright to corrupt or hurt another. That is almost never the case. With the lack of perfection with just about anyone, everyone is capable of hurt. Everyone can be capable of selfishness. It all boils down to their will, if they want to hurt that somebody. But capabilities can never be assured. Even just the thought of a corrupted act is evidence enough that one person is never just light.
And darkness? All the more is it so limiting, so detrimental to how one would end up perceiving themselves, to be labeled as something the world will never be in favor of, to cause such a belief that they are never desired, never to bring happiness, never to come up to someone’s life and possibly make it better. For them to think they will never amount to being a star so bright that another’s eyes would lovingly gleam at the sight of them. For them to be convinced that they are a shadow, undesired, a bundle of emotions that have long been thought of as unwanted, unhealthy even.
The world has always been cruel, creating such labels so human beings would be drawn to those of either the same or opposite types. Types that shouldn’t make sense when just because one might see themselves in another, it ends up leading to the idea that a person is a mere idea. That they are a sort. Something to either want or avoid. Never something so deep that a common belief prevents you to finding out the depths of a person.
Love has never been about light or darkness. It has always been about depth. And depth can be infinite. Just like how love is an infinite spectrum. It was never about opposites. It was never about types. It was never about the surface.
Jason Todd was known to be a brood, never the one you could easily approach. Never the one to approach anyone. On good days, he would be seen laughing with his friends, raising his hand in class and have a great sense of humor that anyone can be charmed with. But those days can be counted. Most days, on days when he came to class with bruises all over his face, a hood over his head, scowling at anyone who dared to look at him twice. When someone would come up to them and he wouldn’t do so much as respond. Those days were plentiful.
The days that have cemented himself as a guy to watch out for, a guy to be feared, a guy no one wants to mess with, were those when someone would get on his already irritated nerves. Those days, he used his strength, his fight, to hurt other people more than they should be, beating them further to the ground even when they were already down. Fights were normal in high school. It was always something to expect. And it most commonly ends up with a day’s detention or even just a warning. But with Jason Todd? More often than not, he’d come out unscathed, and the other guy would end up in the hospital. Those days were the ones he was least proud of.
You, Y/FN, were troubled, harsh, often so angry, and spoke everything as truthfully as your mind would let you. You do not hesitate to hurt back, often even hurt first. You never let anyone talk to you the wrong way. You were strong enough to fight back at the world when it wasn’t often so decent to you. You can almost never be told what to do. Any threat thrown at your direction, you will tear it apart with you bare hands before life will have any other say on it.
But it went far beyond to just being defensive against cruelties. You’ve hurt so many with just your words, caused so much tears, shed bucketsful of blood. So many times, you’ve taken advantage of other people’s kindness and end up being so selfish as to only work for your own gain. You mostly ever thought about yourself. You never cared about what other’s thought, about what other’s felt. You’ve instilled so much fear onto so many people.
Some would say you and Jason would only amplify each other’s rage, each other’s blackness, each other’s cynicism. Some would say you were damn right perfect for each other.
But, with love being an infinite spectrum, it’s no longer about being perfect for someone, is it?
Nobody is ever really perfect for anybody. Rough patches will be inevitable. Personalities will most often clash than not.
But whoever that person is, whatever label they may possess or how the world puts them in a tagged box, if they end up being the one you share your brightest smile with, your noisiest laughter, your genuine happiness, then what is the world to stop you?
How could the boy whose eyes were most often hidden by the shadows look at you the way he was now? Peering in from the thin space between two books on a bookshelf, one you were just about to fill in with another one from the cart. He was smiling at you, knowing you caught his eye, too. And with the yellow light seeping through the shelves so perfectly resting on the details of his face, you stopped yourself from freezing and placed the book onto its place.
Then you pushed the cart, your eyes darting to the ground when your face had gone too flushed, but you couldn’t help but look back into the spaces between the bounded, dusty books. He kept your pace, never tearing his eyes away from you even when he could only see so much. You could see dust particles float about just from concentrating too much on him. You placed another book, then he moved to the space next to it. You bit your lower lip and kept going.
He’s been at this all day. Following you in silence, glancing at you when he noticed you following him as well.
Even from the other side of the shelf, you could see that shine in his eyes, the shine not everyone had the privilege to witness.
Then when you’ve reached the end, when your corners met and your eyes followed from just each other’s eyes to each other’s whole, he faced you, and you shyly tried to look away, but that day, the day after that day¸ he’s been following you around like a lost puppy and you have been doing much the same to him.
It was the best feeling, even in silence, when Jason sat across from you, still giving you that same look he’s always had, yet no longer looking away when you caught him, when his touches felt so much warmer, when his voice just a tad bit softer. When you only ever looked at him in admiration, when you looked further out to protect him, when you stole touches whether or not he noticed. It was basically the same, but also entirely different.
Love has never been kind to you. Never been kind to him. You’ve only had your parents and a few friends, yet you couldn’t remember the last time they’ve held you just because they wanted to, or that they longed for your presence when you weren’t in the room, when they constantly thought of you and your happiness. The people you loved have only ever done so much to love you back. And you, understandably, didn’t always love so hard as a person should and could.
Jason has had a girl or two that he liked, created the blossoms of an early relationship with without much thought on commitment, but that was only within the past two years when he got back to school and somehow maybe even before he dropped out after 5th grade. It was hard when on the prime ages of his teens, he’s had to think more about what he eats for the night than whether or not a girl likes him back. So at this age, no, he didn’t have much experience. You were definitely a first.
A wonderful first.
But that also meant he hadn’t a speck of an idea what to do to move forward.
Penny sat across from you, and you ate like the food in front of you in a dirty, grease filled tray was an actual decent meal. You didn’t notice your friend was smiling while watching you eat, like what you did was so amusing to look at.
“What?” you asked, still with food in your mouth.
“Something happened,” she poked you. “Didn’t it?”
You rolled your eyes and shoved your fork into your mouth.
“Tell me.” Penny put her chin on her hands and tilted her head while grinning at you. “Pleeease.”
“No.”
“You seem happy today, and yesterday, and the day before that-“
“I’m not- just eat your food.”
“Did you kiss?” she giggled.
“Stop giggling.” You ate two spoonful’s, then with your head craned down, you smiled. “Yeah…”
“EEEEEEEEEEE-“
“PENNY.”
“I can't believe it. You two kissed,” she held her hands together and looked up at the ceiling. “Was it romantic? Or awkward? Tell me what happened!”
You’ve never actually told anyone at all. You didn’t feel the need to. But something so warm at the pit of your stomach made you want to coo and daze yourself all over him like a fucking crackhead.
Whatever.
“We were at a playground. He asked me to sing. Then he just… kissed me…”
You were smiling at your food like it was the best damn thing in the world. It was only mashed potatoes and a chicken drumstick. You were a crackhead.
“How was it?” Penny asked.
Your own smile kept getting bigger as you remembered that moment. The most perfect moment. “It went on for like… forever, but at the same time it ended way too soon. It wasn’t weird at all…”
“Look at him,” Penny was looking at Jason eating from his own tray of potatoes. “He’s so cute.”
“Stop. Looking at him,” you demanded.
“I’m just so happy for you,” she smiled. “What happened next? Did you go out again? It’s been three days!”
“Well,” you licked your lips. “Uhm…”
“What?”
“After that night, he dropped me off, then I texted him to say thank you and he was all like ‘you're welcome’ and then the subject changed before we fell asleep. Then we texted basically about anything in class before going to work at the library, then-“
“Wait,” Penny stopped you.
“Are you telling me you’re not dating yet?”
Your lips were between your teeth. Your eyes were all over the place but on your friend’s.
“Define dating…”
She leaned closer. “Did you get to talk about how much you liked each other and that you wanted to be together?”
Shoving a forkful of chicken into your mouth, chewing it ever so slowly, then swallowing, you murmured. “No…”
“Did you guys even talk about your kiss?”
You wanted to sink into the ground. “No…”
“Oh my god.”
“Penny-“
“This is both your faults.”
“Penny-“
“Talk to him, Y/N-“
“PENNY-“
“I’m serious! How is anything gonna happen when you're both too shy to do anything?”
“Don’t EVER call me shy. It’s demeaning.”
“Okay…” she slumped to her seat, her mouth pouting like a child as she stared at her food. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Don’t be a fucking baby.”
You ate your food and kept your eyes downcast. You didn’t have to rush, right? You didn’t have to talk about it right away? You’ve never been happier the past three days. Why should you change anything?
“Hi.”
You, with your mouthful of food, and your friend still pouting, looked up at the deep voice that stood over your table.
Jason’s smile at you made your stomach churn like a washing machine.
Penny almost dropped her food, then her mouth. She looked at you, then at Jason, then silently giggled at how you two had lingering gazes at each other longer than any two sane people would.
“Mind if I join you guys?”
“SIT HERE!” Penny cried out, standing up from her seat and taking out her tray.
“Oh, I can totally just sit over th-“
“THIS SEAT’S BETTER.”
“But you haven’t finished your food-“
“I’M ON A DIET.”
You wanted to bury your face into your bag and hope you’d suffocate yourself and die.
Penny practically sprinted out from the table, glancing back at you, catching your piercing glare, and gave you a huge thumbs up with both hands before running out of the cafeteria. Just before the doors closed, you heard her high-pitched giggles.
Kill me now.
Jason cleared his throat, then took Penny’s seat right across from you.
The moment you looked up and met his eyes, your glower faded in an instant and your mouth defied your thoughts and curved up. You picked on your food, trying your best not to stare at him too much. But there he was again with his eyes. He barely touched his food.
He was nervous, too. You could tell. Biting his lip.
You could handle the silence. Silence didn’t always have to be awkward. You’ve never done this before. He never did either. And too much all at once would be far too much. So just this time, with him, you’ll take all the time in the world.
Jason chewed on his food, looking up at you every so often.
Then you saw his one hand reach over to your side of the table, doing nothing but just lay there untouched. You looked up, fighting your grin.
Okay, maybe you could take another teensy little step.
You reached out your own hand, so slowly, he never would’ve noticed it if he wasn’t looking from his side eye. You laid it just an inch away from his. You pretended to focus on your food and ate.
He did the same, eating in silence with you with just one hand holding a fork. His jaw clenched the same way it often did when he chewed. Silence. More silence. But you were smiling from ear to ear.
Without glancing up, you felt his pinky brush against your thumb.
You had to bite into your lips to not look like an idiot.
His touch was so slight and beautifully delicate, yet with each miniscule movement, you could feel the buzzing warmth, down to your palm, then to your arm. It wasn’t something overwhelming, or even electric. It was just… warm. Fuzzy. Comfortable. He knew you were smiling, but he continued to eat and grin so secretly, it was annoying.
Even more of his warmth raced to your chest when his leg grazed against yours under the table. You didn’t even try to hide your smile anymore, but you knew if you looked up and catch his eye, you wouldn’t be able to take any more of this warmth and fuzziness.
You inched your hand closer, too close until his pinky and ring finger were on top of your hand. His leg kept touching yours. Your heart felt like jumping out a ten story building. You were an idiot. Such an idiot.
But you actually liked being an idiot at that moment.
At that point, neither of you moved. And just like the kiss, it lasted forever, but ended far too soon.
For days, it was like that. Silence. Comfortable silence. No talks beyond what was on the surface, or anything about feelings or anything to move forward. As much as you’d love for it to go past this, you just enjoyed the moment.
It will come. Soon. For once, you felt secure.
Jason made you feel secure.
Back at the manor, he could only ever think about you when you weren’t texting. He was just nervous. And scared. Not of you. But of himself. He could mess up and lose you. Losing you wouldn’t be so easy to undo. He stepped on the right track with that kiss, as much of a risk it already was, he really didn’t want to mess up the next move.
You were an entire maze to him. So mesmerizing and so prone to get lost in. Difficult to understand. Not at all easy. But that’s what made you so beautiful. That’s what drew him in the first place. And like a maze, when he finishes, fuck, will it be rewarding.
With his suit on, sitting at the computers with his legs up on the keys, he fiddled with his phone, thinking of what to say to you to make you laugh.
“Robin,” Batman said to him as he put on his cowl. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah. Just hold on.”
He thought a meme would just cover it. He sent it to you and hoped for the best.
“So who is she?”
“What?” he choked, putting his phone face down.
“The girl you’re always with. Who is she?”
“I have no idea who you're talking about.”
“You expect me to believe you stay in school all the way until 6 pm at night, visit an abandoned house far away from the city, and hang out at a playground in the middle of the night all by yourself?”
“How did you- you placed a tracker in my phone, didn’t you?”
“Answer me, Jason. Who is she and are you going to bring her here in the manor anytime soon?”
He fell face down onto the computer keys. “I like you better when you’re Batman and not an absolute dad.”
“Well, I technically am your father, which means I would like to meet your nice girlfriend and invite her over to dinner-“
“She’s not even my girlfriend yet!” he coughed. “Sorta…”
“Then why don’t you ask me, Dick, or Alfred on how to get a girl to-“
“Bruce, I am NOT having this conversation with you.”
“Alright. Alright. Then you can put your phone down or else I go on patrol on my own. You can take your bike.”
Batman went into his batmobile and drove out of the cave. Jason laid on the rotating chair, facing the ceiling.
His girlfriend. You. He’ll have to take that in before he goes to sleep at night.
A tongue suddenly started licking his fingers. Jason looked down. Ace was on the ground, looking at him with the widest eyes.
“I’d rather talk to you, Ace.” He patted his head. “What do I say to her?”
He showed the dog his phone, which had your reply. Ace looked at the screen, then at Jason, then proceeded to lick his ass.
“Nice. Could always count on you, boy.”
Alfred took the liberty of placing his domino mask on his face while he continued to text you for several more minutes.
“I really like her, you know,” Jason told the dog, who was now lying on the ground asleep. “I hope I don’t mess up.”
Ace’s back heaved steadily in his slumber.
“You don’t think I can mess this up? You're too kind.”
Several minutes passed. Jason told you he needed to do some homework for the night, and to text him if you needed anything. He placed the phone on the table and fixed his mask, standing up. The dog followed him.
Ace watched him get onto his bike, pulling down his helmet. He sat down, panting like he was smiling.
“You think I’m in love with her?” Jason scoffed and snorted. “No…”
And as if the dog understood, he stopped smiling and whined.
Jason laughed at the dog, then at himself. With a bright smirk looking down at the ground, feeling his heart race at the thought of you wishing him safe before patrol, he drove out of the cave.
Yeah. This was eventually going to have to change.
The end was so close and near.
Now, you were at the library. Tomorrow, at 4:30 in the afternoon, it will be you and Jason’s very last day being library assistants. The last day of the one thing that excused both of you to see each other as if you were forced to. The one reason you could always rely on to hang out with each other without it being weird.
At that point, you’ve grown to be fond of the old book covers, grown to take the time to admire the old classics that Jason lingered on often. You no longer complained having to shelf the same books over and over. You no longer dreaded writing dates by hand. You’ve grown to love your work.
Even if everything else progresses, you were going to miss it here. Even Ms. Peterson.
The old woman was silent on her computer. And even when it was almost 4:30, you still took your sweet time at the shelves. Jason had his own cart to take care of at the shelf beside you. You looked up at him, smiling. This view. Of him glancing at the pages before putting them on the shelves. This was definitely what you’ll miss the most.
Jason looked back at you and returned your smile. Jeez, your heart.
You bit your lip and looked down.
You took out the very first Edgar Allan Poe collection book that belonged to the library, the one you never asked to borrow from Ms. P, and ran your hand over the cover.
A long dead, emo writer ended up pulling two people together the way he never meant to. He was probably looking down at both of you all confused, since he wrote about the most depressing themes that almost never ended in a good way. But he ended up mending a story so beautiful, you couldn’t help but thank him.
You had another book of his at home, anyway. So with a longing brush of your palm over the cover, you placed it back onto the shelf where it belonged.
“Y/N!”
A group of three girls. One of them was the one who handed you a flyer the other day and you ended up shoving it down her bra.
“We’re the party planning committee, and you know the Winter Wonderland Ball is coming up, right?”
You squinted your eyes at them.
“And we also know that you are a very good singer-“
“No.” You went back to shelving the books.
“Please!” she begged you. “Our last singer had a throat infection just today and he had the audacity to tell us just now.”
“No.”
“Come on! Please! You are an amazing singer.”
“I know,” you smirked. “But I’m not gonna do it.”
“The ball is two days away! Please! Just one song!” She was on her knees now. “I can't lose this job and I need this on my resume for college! We promised a live band!”
You rolled your eyes and turned back over to your shelf.
Jason was looking at you. Straight at you. He heard everything and you just knew he wasn’t going to let you hear the end of it.
You sighed and looked back at him.
His smile just melted every block of ice inside you. You loved that smile. You wanted to see it every day. And you did, technically. But like this, silently telling you to push yourself, be your best version.
And the thought of him seeing you on stage, you seeing him in the crowd and having that flutter in your chest that hadn’t gone away since that night at the playground.
God, you were an actual, undeniable, enormous crackhead for giving in to him.
You turned to the girls and shrugged. “Fine.”
You flinched when they shrieked. The girl who begged you held your shoulder. “THANK YOU-“
“Neeeever touch me,” you growled, glaring at her. She backed away, still with a smile, then the group ran out of the library before you’d possibly change your mind.
Placing the last book onto the shelf, you felt proud of yourself. With a deep sigh, you walked over to the tables and grabbed your bag. Jason came up from behind you.
“I can't wait,” he grinned while swinging his bag over his back. You licked your teeth and rolled your eyes at him. “Shut up.”
“Really.”
He took a step nearer to you, looking straight into your eyes with that same smile that drove you nuts. “You’re gonna do amazing.”
You shook your head and you both started walking out into the hallway.
“Can I take you home?”
Your eyes were locked on the ground, then you covered your lips with your scarf when you stepped out into the cold. “Sure.”
Holding him on his motorcycle, you laid your head against his back, circled your arms around him tighter than you usually do.
Love is infinite. Love is depth.
Jason is both.
-----
I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST
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fuckinuchihas · 4 years ago
Text
So my obsession with Tsukishima does not appear to be going away so here have some like janky fake texts and a mini fic about the hell you feel when you fall in love with Tsukishima Kei.
Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Reader
Rated: Teen and up+
Warnings: The amount of angst you’d expect to come from falling in love with an asshole...but happy endings all around! Xoxo Enjoy!
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‘I’m so stupid,’ you whisper to yourself in the dark of your bedroom. ‘Stupid stupid stupid.’
Of course if Kei knew what you were really thinking he’d probably agree that you’re worse than Kageyama and Hinata combined with or without the head trauma.
What were you expecting anyway… a love confession...from Tsukishima?
He would never. 
Even if he actually liked you, even if he wanted you, he’ll never say something like that and not ever in public.
Being in love is lame, you’re lame...and that’s exactly what he’d say to you if he could read the word written on your heart.
One single word…
Kei
★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★
You do your best to put on a brave face the next day, smiling as you say hello to his mother and feel her arms wrap around you. It takes everything inside you not to break down when Akiteru does the same.
“It’s so good to have you back,” she says, patting your head.
“It’s really nice to be back, don’t have to feel homesick any more,” you lie, because being at home for you has always meant Kei and now it just feels like you’re drifting even further apart. You push away your thoughts and grin up at them. “I know, what do you think of pork and noodles for dinner tonight? It’s the least I can do after Kei picked me up from the airport yesterday.”
“You don’t have to-” he starts, but Akiteru quickly interrupts him.
“Shut up, Kei. Let them make a meal for us,” he says through his smile, “I’ve really missed your cooking.”
You smile, genuinely this time. “Well I’m happy to do it. Seriously, you’re welcome to have dinner next door any time.”
Tsukishima scoffs, but the other two grin at you so you focus on that.
Making dinner is calming, you find your peace in the kitchen even with the whirlwind of emotions that are still spinning wildly in your chest.
A constant thrum of ‘we’re just friends’ plays on loop through your head as you pour the gravy over the drained pasta.
You pull out your phone to let them know dinner is almost ready.
Part of you wishes you did have Akiteru’s number, not that you could use it. You’re trying to pretend everything is okay and Tuskishima isn’t a fucking moron so if you text his brother instead of him to say dinner is ready for the first time ever, he’s definitely going to notice something is up.
You take a deep breath and type out your message.
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★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★
Surprisingly you manage to make it through dinner without too much hassle, mostly thanks to Akiteru who keeps the conversation going.
Tsukishima is quieter than usual but you try not to think too hard about it.
You’ve got to get better at this pulling away thing. No matter how much you try to distance yourself; both emotionally and physically, your heart doesn’t seem to be getting the memo.
“Thank you so much for dinner, it really was delicious. It might be my favorite so far!” Akiteru says and you grin as he wraps around you again.
“You’re welcome and I wasn’t just being polite, you can come over to eat anytime.”
“I will take you at your word, it really is good to have you home, right Kei?”
There’s a hesitation and your heart shatters in your chest. The sharp broken pieces splicing open everything they touch. Each one feels like a gaping stab wound and you’re somehow surprised that you’re not actually bleeding out on the floor.
“Of course,” he says, absentmindedly. He’s been drifting out of the conversation all night and now he’s...he’s staring you in the face and thinking of something or someone else.
“I should really get some work done but you guys have a nice night and don’t forget to save some of the leftovers for your mom, okay?”
“If I have to,” Akiteru grins, sticking his tongue out at you.
You chuckle as they move further into the doorway.
“Goodnight,” they both say, Kei’s almost whispered.
“Goodnight!”
You close the door behind them and start to clean up when there’s a loud almost violent knock on your door.
You wipe your hands off and quickly make your way to open it, only to find Kei red faced and angry on the other side.
“What happened?” you ask, looking around to see if Akiteru is with him.
“That’s what I’d like to know!”
“I don’t-what are you talking about?” you ask, racking your brain for a legitimate reason why he could be angry with you, only to come up empty.
“Every time I leave you, you say be safe... text me when you get home...but not today, not yesterday either. Not once since you got back.”
You honestly didn’t even think about it, you just... you were trying to create distance.
“I’m sorry, Tsukki. Of course I want you to be safe…”
“No, that’s-there’s something... you’re mad about the sign, I know that...I even understand why but I don’t understand this,” he says, shaking his head as a gust of cool air blows around you and you feel yourself shiver.
“Come back in, there’s no sense in catching a cold,” you answer.
Once he’s back inside you sit him on the couch and will yourself to be strong. “Tsukki I’m not mad about the sign...not really. It was funny and any other time I would have laughed but…”
“But what? What happened? What changed?”
And that’s the kicker, nothing changed. Your expectations were too high, too unrealistic, but how do you say that without admitting your feelings?
“I did, I changed Tsukki. I’m sorry that I upset you. I didn’t mean to worry you or anything, not that you’re worried, I’m just saying...I didn’t mean to inconvenience you.”
“Inconvenience me... “ he says, slowly sounding it out as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Since when have you ever been an inconvenience?”
You sigh, realizing that you’re probably not going to escape this little conversation with your dignity intact. “Tsukki do you remember that black and white spotted stray we found when we were younger?”
“Uh, yes…”
“And how I went out and spent all of my allowance on food and toys because I just expected it would want to come home with me?”
“I don’t see what this has to do with anything but yes I remember it.”
“Well in my heart that dog was already mine, but when I tried to get it inside the house, it would yelp and run away…eventually I just had to realize that the dog wasn’t mine, he wasn’t ever going to be mine. I shouldn’t have just expected him to want to come home with me, to live in a strange place away from the things he’s always known.”
You swallow, heart pounding in your chest as you give him a minute to connect the dots.
“It hurt for a while but eventually I got over it. I will get over this too, don’t worry.”
“I’m the dog…” he says, whispering quietly. The only reason you hear it is because he sat so close.
“I’m going to finish the dishes, you can head home whenever you’re ready,” you say, squeezing his shoulder as you step away.
You barely get a couple feet when you hear a swoosh of air and you’re jerked backward a bit, tight grip on your wrist.
“Kei?”
“I’m not a dog…”
You sigh, “I know Kei, it was just-“
“I’m not a coward either,” he says, cutting you off.
“I wasn’t implying you were scared, Tsukki; only that you don’t belong to me.”
“I-“
“Kei listen I know it’s not fair that I put all of this on you, but you don’t need to feel any obligation. You’ve been the best friend I could ask for, it’s okay that you don’t feel anything beyond that. I’m the one who messed up,” you say, the emotion of it finally starting to come out through your shaky voice and the tears that threaten to spill.
“You’re the most frustrating person I’ve ever met!” he says, tightening his grip before jerking you back in against his chest. “Do I really strike you as someone to do something out of a sense of obligation or duty?”
He’s holding you against him and it feels so warm and comforting and he smells like the fabric softener sheets you used to get for his mom when you went to the store.
The dam breaks and you start crying. You start and you can’t stop, just heaving and sobbing in his arms. It hurts so much.
“I’m sorry, Tsukki. I’m sorry I’m such a loser, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, I’m sorry I couldn’t just be happy with our friendship. I'm so sorry,” you say through the tears, though it’s hardly audible.
“Never apologize for loving me,” he says, pulling away from you just enough to tilt your chin up so he can see your eyes. “After all I’m hoping you can manage to do it another seventy or eighty years.”
Your heart stutters and you gasp in surprise.
You don’t have time to really think about it before you feel his lips on yours, bruising and rough almost like a punishment.
You’re panting and trying to hold yourself up when he pulls away, staring down at you with glassy eyes. “Don’t let me hurt you like that ever again.”
He kisses the top of your head and you feel him frown. “I never imagined you would think that stupid sign meant I didn’t love you. I’m not running away, I want to be yours and for you to be mine.”
“You... you really want that? You’re not just doing this because you umm feel guilty or whatever?”
“Say that again and this time listen to yourself. I’m not the kind of guy who makes big romantic gestures, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less than someone who does.”
“I don’t need gestures. I just need this,” you say, squeezing tighter around him half afraid he’ll disappear.
“Hmm,” he hums, kissing your forehead one last time.
“It’s getting late, I should go but clear out your plans for tomorrow you’re spending time with me.”
“Okay,” you answer easily, happier than you ever thought you could be.
★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★
When Kei comes to pick you up the next morning he actually comes inside making you chuckle because you haven’t even gotten the invitation out before he pushes you gently to the side and heads straight for your bedroom.
You gasp in shock, “KEI!”
He turns to look at you and seems to just know that’s where your thoughts went and he smirks. “Not quite there yet,’ he says, teasing you in that way that warms your chest but also kinda pisses you off.
“Well then what are you doing, asshole?”
“I’m just getting a few things,” he says, like it’s not your drawers he’s rumbling through as he-packs your suitcase?
“Uhh...where exactly are we going on this date?” you ask, because you’re kinda hoping to be back before dinner time.
“Just trust me, okay?” he says, and he looks kind of...well not serious but determined so you nod quickly to reassure him.
“Okay, I’ll leave things up to you then. Please stay out of my underwear drawer, it’s the smaller middle one,” you say, before grinning and walking away.
You both trust him not to look but also don’t really mind if he does. There’s not a lot of embarrassing things in there or anything, but you doubt Tsukki is the type to investigate, at least not yet...maybe when you’re closer.
He comes out of your room straight faced and wheeling your suitcase behind him like a professional flight attendant even though one of the wheels doesn’t quite spin at the same pace as the others.
Smug fucker knows you’re impressed too.
“Are you ready to go now?” you ask, waiting for him to join you by the door.
“Yes, let’s go.”
He opens the door for you, which is new...and kind of sweet. You try very hard not to let the heat you feel crawling up your neck go all the way to your cheeks.
Then he puts your luggage in and climbs behind the wheel.
You mess with the radio just a bit but you both have similar tastes in music so he doesn’t care too much. You close your eyes for a while and just listen to the music, stealing glances at Tsukishima every now and again to remind yourself that this is real.
After a while you look up and see the road sign for NIA and you jerk forward a bit.
“Tsukki umm...I’m not questioning your judgement or anything but why are we headed to the airport exactly?”
“I thought you were going to trust me…”
“Trusting you doesn’t mean I can’t ask questions,” you say, eyeing him skeptically.
Tsukishima signed, “Don’t make me get the blindfold.”
You barely manage to stay composed at that, but you face toward the window letting the cool glass press against your burning cheeks. “Whatever you say, Tsukki.”
“Now that’s the attitude I’ve been waiting for,” he says, and you can hear his smug grin in his voice.
“I will literally leave you at the airport, don’t push me.”
He laughs, but doesn’t say anything further. It feels a little like he’s grateful for the banter, but that could just be you projecting. You love his sarcasm even when it stings; not having that, even for a couple days, felt like an eternity.
You follow instructions, however reluctantly and eventually Tsukishima pulls into the parking garage near the airport
He hands you the handle of your suitcase instead of wheeling it himself and it’s not that you really mind wheeling it but...why?
“Here, take this and wait for me near the ticket counter, okay?”
“Uhh sure...I guess,” you say, feeling more confused than ever but you told him you’d trust him so you do.
You sit there for a while, long enough for it to cross your mind that maybe he’s just left you there looking like an idiot, but you know he wouldn’t, not really. He has a sharp tongue but Kei isn’t ever intentionally hurtful, not to anyone.
There’s a few sounds, mostly shock as people turn to stare. You follow their gaze and nearly fall out of your seat when you see what they’re looking at.
Tsukishima is somehow managing to hold onto a bouquet of your favorite wildflowers, half a dozen green and gold balloons, and a sign that says, “I’m here to pick up… THE PERSON I LOVE!”
Tears stream down your face as you run and jump up against him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as they’ll go, completely ignoring the fact that his hands are full and he can’t hold you along with everything else.
The sign drops, the balloons are released into the air and the flowers are smushed but he’s holding you, and to him, that’s the most important one of all.
★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★
MASTERLIST
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excusemin · 4 years ago
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Keys - MYG
-Part Two of Quarantine with Bangtan
Pairing: Yoongi x female reader
Rating: PG
Genre: established relationship, FLUFFY FLUFF
Warnings: mentions of insomnia, a bit of anxiety, other than that I think we are good? :)
Word count: 4.4k 
Summary: Coffee and warm chocolate croissants can go down a sweet, sweet road.
A/N: Hello, this is so far my longest fic created and I hope it is likeable. Super huge thanks to @dontaskshhhhh​ for helping me throughout the whole phone call part. I’m so socially awkward, it’s embarrassing lol. The phone call was slightly inspired by the song 10000 hours hehe. Remember to send in an ask if you’d like to be tagged in the following parts to Quarantine with Bangtan. Enjoy. 💜
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Sleeping at night was always hard so finding different methods to sleep have become hopeless. Y/n has tried almost about everything that could come up in her mind. Ranging from aromatherapy to melatonin supplements, nothing seemed to work. Even avoiding the small afternoon naps after coming from work have made it worse. Fearing the dark corners of the room but disliking the bright light coming from the television, it was hard. White noise seemed to help but it could not be too loud. Sleepless nights were rough but can be dealt with coffee in the morning.  
That's until he came in the picture. It was any other ordinary day, walking into the nearby coffee shop to get an iced Americano for herself and a chocolate croissant as a ‘thank you for covering for me while I was running late again’ gift to her beloved coworker.
The wait for her order to come was slightly longer than usual and she could not stop the wave of anxiousness flowing through her body. She wondered how her coworker would scold her for being far more late than usual. Y/n started to unknowingly, pick at her nails while she waited for her order to be called up.
“Iced Americano and a chocolate croissant to go!”
Snapping out of her daze, she walked forward to grab a hold of her items, when she was met with a larger hand above hers. Immediately, her hand froze as she let out a gasp.  The larger hand was removed quickly as soon as the gasp came out of her lips. Her body jolted backwards at the action and ended up bumping into the chest of whoever the large hand belonged to. Too scared to bring up her gaze, she apologized to the owner of the large hand. Hearing nothing, she feared being told off for grabbing the drink. Stumbling over her thoughts, she mustered all the courage she could to bring her gaze up to the most likely angry person. 
Instead of being met with an angry person, she was met with locks of mint colored hair covering their face. Their gaze was focused on the floor as their hand moved to the nape of their neck, blocking Y/n’s view from their face. Worried, she stepped slightly closer to get a look of the person's face.
“Hey, are you okay? I’m so sorry about that, I hope I didn’t hurt you.” She spoke softly as she slowly raised up her hand to see if the person was okay.
Y/n softly touched the person’s shoulder and luckily her hand was not swatted away. She took note of the person’s comfortable outfit as she calmly waited for a response. They were wearing an over sized black hoodie, dark blue jeans with a few rips here and there along with some black combat boots. Comfortable indeed. She stared in awe of the mint colored tresses on the head of the person standing before her. Y/n wanted to reach out to see if they were as soft as they appeared but she didn’t want to push her luck too much. The locks of mint colored hair moved to slowly allow their gazes to meet. 
She was finally granted sight of the minty haired person’s face. Y/n was not expecting to be met with such a delightful sight. Letting her eyes wander, she noticed the soft features of the guy standing before her. Starting from his lips, they were a soft hue of pink, they looked slightly chapped but she wondered how soft they would feel. Moving her gaze up little by little, she took note of the faint mole near the top on his button nose. Too busy admiring his features, she did not notice him admiring her features as well.
Their eyes met and they both shied away from each other's gazes. Both faces were flushed and avoided eye contact at all costs. Luckily, the barista called out another order of an iced Americano and a chocolate croissant. Once again, looking at each other, their eyes widened realizing they had ordered the exact same thing. Smiling softly at each other, they walked up to the counter to retrieve their items. 
The mint haired guy reached out for the first order that was out on the counter before the incident while handing the one that was recently put out to her. Curiously looking up at the guy with a questioning gaze, he let out a soft chuckle. 
“It’s fresher so I’ll let you have it. I’m okay by the way. Not hurt in any way, I was just startled.”
“Oh! Are you sure? I don’t mind, it’s still a drink.”
“It’s perfectly okay...”
“Y/n. L/n Y/n. I am sorry for that.”
“I’m Yoongi, Min Yoongi. Nice to meet you. No need to worry sweetheart, it’s my fault after all, I did reach out after you’ve gotten a hold of it.”
“Thank you Yoongi, I’ll see you around?”
“Definitely sweetheart.”
Y/n smiled at him one last time before walking out of the coffee shop flustered. She wondered if she would still see him around as she rushed to her job. Work seemed to pass by in a flash and in no time, she was back home to finally rest. Falling asleep that night was easy because all that was replaying in her mind was the sound of Yoongi’s soft voice.  
The next day was a much brighter one, thanks to the extra hours of sleep. The whole walk to the coffee shop was full of hope to see the Yoongi once again. Arriving at the coffee shop, Y/n began to pick at her fingernails in nervousness when she entered the door. Immediately getting hit with the smell of freshly brewed coffee, she took a deep breath in letting the scent calm her down. 
Looking around for the mop of minty locks, she frowned when they were nowhere to be found. Y/n let her feet trail her to the line to get her usual order as she let out a sigh. 
“Good morning, sweetheart.” Y/n gasped at the sudden voice that spoke from behind her. Recognizing the voice right away, her face flushed while she hoped that he didn’t catch her scanning the coffee shop for him. Turning around, she offered Yoongi a warm smile. He moved up to be next to her as they moved forward in the line.
“Good morning Yoongi.”
 “It is a good morning indeed. I thought I wouldn’t see you around after yesterday.”
“Me? I’m not going anywhere any time soon.”
“That’s good to hear, I’m glad I didn’t scare you off.” 
“You scaring me? I bumped into you. If anything, I feel like I did enough to scare you off.” 
“I’m happy for that, I wouldn’t have met you if you didn’t bump into me. Plus, a cute little thing like you could never scare me away.” Feeling heat rush to her face, she figured it was going to natural now when in the presence of Yoongi. 
“U-um...Y/n?”
“Yes Yoongi?” Sensing a pinch of nervousness laced in his soft voice, she turned around to look up at him to let him know that he had her full undivided attention. Noticing her attention on him, his hands immediately went into the front pocket of his dark colored jeans and avoided all eye contact with Y/n.
Noticing his shy behavior, she placed her hand on his arm and offered him a warm smile when he finally looked at her. Smiling back at her, he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. 
“I-It may seem a bit ridiculous considering the fact that we are standing here but would you let me treat you for coffee or anything you’d like?” 
“Coffee with you? I’d love that.” Hearing those words come out of her lips, Yoongi released a breath he did not know he was holding. 
Noticing that the line was nearing the front of the cash register, he placed his hand gently on the small of her back to guide her up the line as it advanced. Affected by the action, Y/n felt her heart pound in her chest as she felt her face flush for the hundredth time that day. She was faced with Yoongi’s black knitted sweater along with the faint aroma of laundry detergent. Yoongi glanced down at Y/n, eyes widening once he took note of how close they were.  
“Hello, how may I help you today?” Both of them looked ahead of them while mentally thanking the cheerful cashier for snapping them out of the little moment. 
“Go ahead sweetheart.” 
“Um hello, can I get an Iced Americano and a chocolate croissant?”
“Can you make that two of each please?” Y/n felt her breath hitch as she felt Yoongi’s presence behind her. Once the cashier read out the price, Y/n tried to reach into her bag to grab her wallet but before she could, Yoongi held her hand and told her that he had it.
Eyesight falling from his face to gaze at his larger hand holding hers, Y/n felt her cheeks burn up at view. She muttered a small ‘thank you’ once he paid for the both of them. 
 Side by side, they walked to a few empty stools to sit on while they waited for their orders to be prepared. Pulling out the chairs for the both of them, Yoongi waited for Y/n to sit down first so he could take a seat as well. As he waited, he felt his heart swell up at the sight of Y/n struggling to get on the wooden stool. Once she got settled down, he sat right next to her. 
Y/n’s eyes narrowed down at how easily Yoongi was able to slide into the stool. Watching her little fit of frustrations, he couldn't help but laugh at the observation. She tried to keep up the ‘angry’ look but eventually gave in to join his laughter. Once they both calmed down, they relaxed back into the wooden stools as their gazes met once again. Yoongi offered a small smile before he took the initiative to break the comfortable silence between them.
“Do you come here everyday sweetheart?”
“Pretty much, I live off of these coffees. How about you?”
“I think I started coming here about two weeks ago. Now, I think I’ll be coming more often. It feels so nice here, it feels so...”
“Soothing?”
“Yeah, I needed to get some fresh air and instead I got the aroma of freshly brewed coffee in my lungs.”
“That’s the highlight of my day.”
“I think it’ll start being mine too.” Looking back at Yoongi, Y/n noticed his cheeks tinted with a soft pink color while his eyes avoided her lingering ones. His gaze darted to hers once he heard Y/n giggle. Softly smiling along, he noticed his fingers were itching to hold her hand and whisper sweet words to her. Luckily, he didn’t get the chance to embarrass himself as the barista called out their orders. 
“Stay here sweetheart.”
Once again, Yoongi mentally thanked the barista for snapping him out of his daze as he walked to receive their orders. Coming back to the beautiful girl that caught his eye, he handed her the coffee and warm croissant. 
“Thank you Yoongi. Unfortunately, I have to go before I’m late to work.”
“No worries sweetheart. If it’s not too much for me to ask, is it fine if we can exchange phone numbers… we don’t have to if yo-”
Chuckling at his little stammering, Y/n unlocked her phone and handed it to Yoongi. Slightly embarrassed, Yoongi focused his gaze on her phone to type his number and his name with a little heart on the end. He tapped on the call button so he could get her number as well. Once he felt his phone ring in his pocket, he handed hers back to playfully answer the ringing phone.
“Hello sweetheart.”
“Hello Yoongi.” They could have sworn that they looked like complete idiots smiling at each other to anyone who was in the coffee shop but they did not care. 
“As much as I want to stay here with you, I have to get to work.”
“It’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow sweetheart.”
“See you tomorrow Yoongi.” As Y/n walked out of the coffee shop after getting her things, her phone chimed notifying her that she received a message. Carefully balancing her iced drink on one hand as she unlocked her phone, she smiled when another message popped up on her screen. 
‘I hope you have a wonderful day at work and well all day overall sweetheart. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.’
Y/n looked back into the coffee shop to spot Yoongi already looking at her. She brought up her hand to wave as she mustered up a bright smile. 
Her phone chimed once more and her eyes widened seeing the message of her coworker asking if she had to cover for her again. Quickly, she typed a text back letting her know that she’d be there in six minutes. Before starting her walk, she took a deep breath in and released it with a content smile on her face. To her, that coffee tasted much better than any other day along with the warm chocolate croissant that seemed to make her heart warm up at every bite. 
That content smile remained for the rest of the day, not even the loads of work that her boss piled on her desk was enough to bring her down. Almost exactly like the day before, work passed by once again in a flash and she was ready to go home. The walk home was not far but it seemed to pass by much more quickly than any other day.
Once Y/n was able to reach her home, she directly walked to the restroom to prepare for bed. As she passed her bedroom, her bed looked so comforting and she could have sworn it was calling out her name. Giggling at the thought, she made her way into the bathroom and turned on the water to the shower. As she waited for the water to adjust to the preferred temperature, she removed the clothes she wore for the day. Before she hopped in, she turned on a soothing playlist on her phone and set it down on the bathroom counter where it would not fall.
Feeling the water pour over her head, she pretended that her worries and troubles were being washed away along with the rose scented soap she lathered on. Once she felt she was clean enough, she wrapped a towel around her body as she stepped out. Gathering her phone, Y/n walked back into her bedroom humming the tunes she heard while she showered. 
Tossing her phone on the bed, she stood in front of her wardrobe looking for what to wear for the night. Settling in for an over sized shirt, she hung the towel on the hook by her wardrobe to dress up. 
When everything seemed just right, she let herself fall right in the middle of the bed. The phone next to her head chimed and Y/n bubbled with excitement in hopes that it was the guy with the minty hair. Sounding out his name, she realized that his name had a nice sound to it, she loved it. Or maybe she loved the guy that name belonged to. 
Shaking her head at the thought, she unlocked her phone and read the message. Her heart skipped a beat for the thousandth time that day. 
‘Hello, sweetheart. I hope it’s not too late for you but is it okay if I call you?’
‘I don’t mind Yoongi.’
Before she could pause to think if the message was decent enough to send, her own fingers betrayed her mind and it sent her heart into a frantic state. She’s talked to the guy before but it does not ease down her racing heart. Before she had any more intruding thoughts, her phone rang and her breath hitched. Once again, her fingers had a mind of their own and answered the call.
“Hello sweetheart.”
“H-hi Yoongi.”
“I hope I didn’t wake you up.”
“No, I just laid down so no worries. So Yoongi, to what do I owe the honor for this call?” 
“Um well… I just… well I wanted to hear your voice.”
Feeling ecstatic, Y/n shifted around to place her burning cheeks on her cool pillow as she let out a giggle. Part of her wished she could see his face but the other part of her is thankful that he doesn’t get to see the outcome of his words. 
“It’s just that you have a soothing voice and well, calling is so much easier than texting.”
Y/n stumbled upon her words as she tried to mentally gather what to say back to Yoongi but before she could embarrass herself any more, he started talking again. 
“The rain looks really nice tonight. Is it raining with you?”
“I actually didn’t notice it until you brought it up. It is soothing.”
“Do you love the rain?”
“Does it make you dance?”
Bursting into a fit of laughter, Y/n tried to muffle her laugh with her pillow to listen to Yoongi’s. She decided at that moment that it was definitely one of her favorite sounds in the world. After calming down, she let out a sigh as she felt her body less tense than when the phone call started. 
“Tired of me already?”
“No, I could never. I’m enjoying this Yoonie.”
“Yoonie? I like the sound of that sweetheart.”
“Really? Good, now I have a nickname for you too. I gave you my name and you still use sweetheart.”
“I just wanted to know more about you and I still do.”
“Feelings mutual Yoonie. Tell me something that’s on your mind.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Well, the only thing that comes to my mind other than you is that I need to finish the song that’s sitting on top of my piano.”
“You play the piano? You’ve gotta play something for me someday.”
“Actually, I can play a part of it and you can tell me if you like it or not.”
“Play me a song piano man.”
“Very funny, here we go. Ready sweetheart?”
“Ready Yoonie.”
Shifting was heard in the background, Y/n imagined that he was getting comfortable so she adjusted herself to lay comfortably on her side and brought her knees near her chest. Y/n turned the speaker on and pressed it close to her chest, hoping that Yoongi wouldn’t hear her heartbeat. 
At the sound of the first few notes, she let her eyes close to enjoy the sound coming from the other side of the line. Mellow tunes were being played so gracefully that Y/n felt as if she were floating in the softest clouds.
The peace and warmth that enveloped in her body was indescribable but it was enough to bring her comfort that she did not know she was missing. Tiredness was consuming her body but instead of giving in she tried to keep her eyes open to listen to the beautiful melody that Yoongi played so gracefully. The peaceful melody eventually came to an end and Yoongi’s soft voice made an appearance again.  
“I still need to work on it but it’s almost finished, did you like it?”
“Yoonie that was so beautiful, I loved it so much. What’s the name of the masterpiece?”
“Ah, I’m really happy to hear that. You’ll know the name pretty soon if everything works out sweetheart.”
“Hmm, I’m excited for that day to come. I’m sure whatever name you choose, it’ll be amazing.”
“ Thank you sweetheart. Your nickname suits you very well.”
“You know, your voice is pretty soothing too.”
“Ah you heard that.”
“Were you hoping for me not to hear it?”
“Part of me did but the other part of me is happy you did.”
Before she could answer back, a yawn escaped her mouth. 
“Sleepy?”
“A little.”
“You should try to get some sleep sweetheart.”
“Already trying to get rid of me Yoonie?”
“Not at all but who am I to keep a princess from getting beauty sleep.”
“Very funny, I’m enjoying this conversation a lot but I don’t want to fall asleep on you.”
“Go ahead and sleep, I’ll be here when you need me to be sweetheart.”
“Will I see you tomorrow Yoongi?”
“I’ll be there waiting for you.”
“Good, I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night Yoonie, sleep well.”
“Sweetest dreams to you sweetheart.”
Sighing as Y/n finally let sleep consume her, she does not remember if she ended the call or not but she could not bring herself to check. She heard a faint chuckle before she drifted off to another restful sleep.
When Y/n walked into the coffee shop the next morning, Yoongi had been waiting for her along with their orders of iced Americanos and warm chocolate croissants. 
As each day passed by, their mornings became dates whenever they found free time in their busy schedules. As each week passed by, they became more comfortable with each other. As each month passed by, their feelings became stronger for each other which led Yoongi to confess with a mixtape labeled as ‘Honey FM’. 
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Waking up to an empty bed was slightly disappointing but hearing the soft tunes flowing out of the piano made up for it. Smiling to herself, she stretched out and released a couple of tired yawns. Y/n would have made the bed but she knows that somehow they’ll end back under the comfortable sheets pretty soon.
Following the source of the soft tunes playing until she caught sight of her boyfriend sitting in front of the piano with his eyes closed while his hands flowed up and down the piano gracefully. 
Zoning out, she remembers the nights where they cuddled together. There were nights where he’d be the big spoon and there were nights where he would be the little spoon, she loved both especially when one of his arms were wrapped around her body while his other hand was intertwined with hers. When she was sure he had fallen asleep, she would bring up the hand that she held and place soft kisses on them. She felt as if the action was showing her wordless appreciation towards him even if he was asleep.
Little did she know that he would sometimes still be awake. The first time she had done it his heart warmed up and he wanted nothing more than to turn her around to place the most love packed kisses he could muster up but he didn’t want to startle her. So he would pretend to be sound asleep just to watch her display so much affection, his heart never seemed to cool down at the affection. 
Snapping back to reality, she slowly walks up behind her boyfriend bringing her hands up to place them softly on his shoulders. Smiling to herself when he shifted his head to the side to let her hand caress his face. He let a soft sigh escape his lips as Y/n placed a soft kiss on the apple of his cheek.
“Baby?”
“Yes sweetheart?”
“Can you show me how to play?”
“You want to learn?”
“If you don’t mind showing me, yes.”
“Come here baby.” Yoongi grabbed Y/n’s hand from his shoulder and led her around to have her sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her into a small loving embrace once she got comfortable enough. 
“I’m not a good teacher but I’ll play something short and easy for you to learn. How does that sound?”
“Perfect Yoonie, I think you’ll do amazing!” He tightened his hold around Y/n’s waist as he placed a peck on her cheek.
He stretched his arms in front of them to place his hands above the keys, instructing Y/n to place her hands on top of his. Nuzzling against the crook of her neck, he started to test out a few keys to warm up.
“I want you to guess the song I’m going to play. Ready sweetheart?”
“Ready.” 
Nodding, Yoongi began to move his fingers on the keys playing notes gracefully while Y/n’s fingers tried to remember the keys he played. Once she caught on to the song, her heart warmed up to the sound he played. It was the song he made for Y/n when they first met. She remembered the little mixtape he gifted her along with that song were many covers of the songs she liked. The most unforgettable part of the mixtape was the little handwritten letters with shiny black letters reading out ‘Honey FM’ with a tiny little heart at the end. It was sweet indeed. 
Y/n shifted in Yoongi’s lap slightly to place her forehead on his and give him a small peck on his slightly chapped lips.
“Baby, as much as I’d love to continue kissing your lovely lips, I will need you to pay attention. I promise that I’ll give you all the kisses you want as long as you learn this.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay Yoonie.”
Once again, he unwrapped his arms from around Y/n and put them on the keys of the piano while she took in a deep breath to calm her heart down. Years after being together, she expected to get used to this feeling but he always found a way to speed up her heart and she did not mind one bit.
“Okay. I’ll go slow about a few tries and then once you memorize them, I want to see you try on your own.”
“Do you think I’ll learn it quickly?”
“If you set your heart to it, yes. Even if you don’t learn it, I’ll be here every step of the way.”
“Let’s get started then. Show me your ways piano man.”
“Slow down princess, we have all quarantine to learn this.”
“That’s not what I’m eager for. I want my unlimited kisses so let’s get learning.”
Chuckling underneath Y/n, Yoongi placed one last kiss on the back of her ear before getting ready to play again.
“Let’s get learning then sweetheart.”
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revisionaryhistory · 4 years ago
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Three Days ~ 70
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~*~Emma~*~
Sebastian was right. I did like hearing him moan too much. Such a deep, breathy, needy sound. I’m not sure he realized he was making the same sounds as I played guitar. Not as frequent, but still. Seemed only right I should finish what I started. Plus, he’d had a rough day.
I’d gone back to the proposal thing partly to let him off the hook, but more because I didn’t want that to happen. On our second anniversary, I was terrified Jimmy was going to ask me to marry him. My girlfriends had convinced me it was coming. Two years is the time, they said. Thank fuck they were wrong. I didn’t have a problem talking about it and Sebastian had seemed to handle it fine, but I knew the possibility of freaking out was there. Still was. A blow job and a lazy fuck would get his mind in a different place.
After our romp in the guest room, Sebastian pulled me into my bedroom and pushed me on the bed. His smile was lethal as he came for me, kissing from side to side up my body, before laying his very naked body on mine and taking over my mouth. A very long and thorough kiss later he kissed my nose, “Let’s start over at the beginning.”
Over at the beginning meant an extended period of making out, foreplay, him going down on me until I came (twice), and then some very un-lazy intercourse. All followed by collapsing in a sweaty heap. Good times.
Sebastian scooted closer and pushed me to my side where he could wrap around me. A couple of well-placed kisses on the back of my neck had me smiling and making satisfied sounds. I held onto the arms around me and turned my head enough to see him. “I love you.”
“I know you do.” He kissed me as softly as we were speaking. “I love you.”
I smiled, “I know you do.”
“What do you want to do Monday? We should do something.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. I put my hand on his face and squirmed to turn where we were facing. “We should go on a date. A first date.” A first date to commemorate a month since our first date.
He smiled, “A movie.”
“Something scary so I can hide my face against your chest.” We both laughed, “Gelato after, that place we passed a couple of weeks ago.”
“Pizza before.”
“Sounds perfect.” We kissed and stayed close, breathing and being quiet.
Sebastian took a deep breath and fought a yawn, “Sorry.”
“Please.” We rearranged again and I laid my head on his shoulder, his fingers trailing along my side. “If you want to go for a run or anything before I get up there’s an extra set of keys in the entry table.” This was completely prepping for if our talk resulted in an overnight panic attack. “Wake me up if you want.”
His fingers never stopped moving, “What’s your alarm code?”
“Same as my car code.” I tilted my face up to see him. His blue eyes were drowning me. The soft look, the slight smile. I reached to play in his beard. His smile grew and mine matched it, “Whatever you need, Bastian.”
He shook his head slightly, “Just you.”
I woke up before Sebastian. I propped my head on my hand to watch him sleep. He was on his back with one arm stretched to the side and one on his stomach. The sheet covered midway up his chest. He'd gotten a little sun at his mom's yesterday on his chest and shoulders. I was excited about our beach vacation. Lay on the beach, lay by the pool, play in the pool, play in the ocean, maybe dinner on a yacht at sunset.His face showed no sign of tension and worry. I think what I’m seeing is peaceful relaxation. His cheeks were relaxed, his lips barely parted, and his eyes were twitching behind his eyelids. He was in REM sleep. Dreaming. Lying like this he looked beautiful. I wanted to run my fingers over the indentation of muscles. I wanted to put my lips to his eyelashes to feel their twitch against my lips. Run my fingertips over his shaven cheek, stroke through his beard, run a finger over his pink lips. And when he started to wake I wanted to kiss him. I wanted his first memory of the day, even before he opened his eyes, to be me kissing him.
I didn’t touch. Just watched. The eye movements increased and his face started twitching. Definitely dreaming. A few minutes later I felt like the dream wasn't a pleasant one. I carefully laid my palm on the smooth part of his cheek, barely touching skin, letting my fingertips touch the twitches. As they settled, I applied more pressure, his beard against my palm, using my thumb to caress bare skin on the line of his beard, the contrast felt good against my thumb. Whatever the dream, my touch had calmed it. Sebastian's eyes fluttered enough for me to see the blue. I moved where he could see my eyes too.
His lids lifted for a second and he licked his lips. I crept closer and pressed my awake lips to his sleeping ones. "Good morning, my love."
"Morning." Sebastian closed his eyes again and smiled. "Do that again."
I moved over him, pausing long enough for the arm on his stomach to move around me, before pressing my naked chest to his naked chest. I kissed to the right of his lips, "Good," kiss to the left, "morning," and a solid kiss to his lips, "my love."
I felt the slightest touch of his tongue, "Love waking up with you."
His fingers trailing down my spine made me shiver, "It is nice." My accent came out strong.
Sebastian laughed, "My southern belle." He put his hand on my face. "I love when it sneaks out."
"Just ask and I can conjure up a lovely accent for a weekend or so. If that would make you happy." I laid it on thick.
Sebastian squirmed happily, "Very dangerous."
"Why?" Holding on to the accent.
He shrugged, "I love southern accents. All that time shooting in Atlanta and Savannah was pleasantly painful."
"Did you get in trouble?"
"I tried. Wasn't greatly successful."
“I imagine my southern sisters were uncertain what to do with you. You're very pretty. They'd play with you, but how’s your game?"
He chuckled, "Hit or miss."
"We'll have to go south and see if you can pick me up."
"I like either of those ideas." He kissed me long, "We need to make a list."
"We can do it on the train."
I kissed him again, "Do you want breakfast before we get the train?" We didn't have a solid plan.
Sebastian shook his head, "Not super hungry right now. Just get some coffee and yogurt. You hungry?"
"Not really. Angie and I are going shopping then grabbing lunch." Sebastian had said he needed to work and I hadn't had a day with my best friend in a long time. "I'm guessing doors are at seven. It's at Bowery Ballroom, did I say that?"
"Nope. I was just going to follow you. We can walk."
I raised my eyebrows and shook my head slowly, "Not with the heels I'm wearing tonight."
Sebastian pursed his lips, "That sounds fun."
We showered and I left my hair in a towel until we were ready to go. I was stressing myself with what to pack until I remembered today was shopping. My plan was the black dress I didn't wear to dinner last time, but that could change today. Now, I was really excited.
Thankfully early morning Saturday on the metro north train wasn't busy. My guitar wasn't rush hour friendly. We tucked ourselves at the end with our backs to the rest of the car. Sebastian had easily put our stuff in the overhead bin and I found his lack of struggle sexy as hell. When he sat down, I wrapped around his bicep, "You are so hot."
He cocked his head, looking at me with a smirk, "What did I do? Mostly so I can do it again."
I kissed him chastely, "You put our bags up like they weighed nothing. The way your shirt crept up to show off your stomach. Mmmm."
"Keep being so easily impressed."
"You got it, baby." Thinking of luggage had a question pop up. "Does your building have parking?"
"Yes. My apartment has a spot. Can't remember where." He looked over, "We could have driven."
"Windows open, music turned up, singing loud."
"I'll have to find where it is. Mini road trip would be fun."
"Lots of crazy conversations on a road trip."
"And you peeing on the side of the road."
I glared at him, "You can't forget that for me?"
He shrugged, "Sounds like too much fun. We should take off and drive somewhere. Maine in the fall. Montreal, Toronto. Go to LA and drive up to Seattle."
I pulled out my phone, "We need to make that list" I went into my notes program, opened a new notebook titled “Sebastian”, and started a to do list.
Sebastian looked over my shoulder, "First was blindfolding and tying me to the bed. You want a massage with a happy ending. There were plans to wake each other up with various kinds of sex. A weekend with a very southern accent. Me trying to pick you up. Now a road trip. Beach vacation. We should call Will and Alissa, get together a plan while you’re home with me."
“Sounds good."
Sebastian took my hand to his mouth “Will you tell me what happened Tuesday?"
I had to think back to Tuesday. It seemed a very long time ago. A lot had happened since them. All good.
I smiled and took a deep breath, "Sure.” Most of what mom and I had talked about Sebastian already knew. I just filled in mom's side of the confrontation. "Her "but Amy" when I said she'd hurt me..." I trailed off and waved a hand in front of us. I didn’t know what to say.
Sebastian caught my hand, "That had to have hurt." His face showed a mix of sad and angry.
"Yes." I nodded, "More angry when she said it didn't take anything from me to watch what I say in front of Amy. She missed the whole point, and for real, it does take away from me to pretend I'm not happy. Over time what hell would that do to my self-esteem? If you act like your unimportant you start believing it. My father thinking I'd ever come back and live like that."
He snorted, "Bad idea."
"Very. I told her it wouldn't affect me because I wouldn't let it. Mom thought she'd won and we moved on. As soon as I was off the plane, I called Trevor." I smiled, "He was proud of me. I needed the validation that I wasn't overreacting or being a brat. He reminded me this wasn't really new for them and asked what had changed with me." I leaned closes to kiss him. "Wasn't a hard question. It's you."
"Me?" His smirk said he was enjoying my answer.
"Pretending I'm not happy and in love is my line. I'm not willing to hold that in." I kissed him again. "It's not right they ask me to. They should be happy that I have someone who makes me happy."
Sebastian's expression changed again. This time his eyes brightened and his features softened, "You make me happy too." The back of his fingers caressed my cheek. "Very happy."
If I wasn't already in love with him the way he was looking at me now would do it.
"What do you mean she thought she'd won?"
"The way she smiled she thought I was agreeing with what they wanted me to do. I’d muzzle myself forever because they were afraid for Amy. I’m afraid for Amy too, and I’m not a bitch, but I matter too."
“Refusing to sacrifice yourself for someone who’s not in trouble doesn’t make you a bitch.” He shrugged and I could tell he was weighing his words. “Your mom asking you to does kinda make her one. Sorry.”
I shook my head, “Nothing to be sorry about.”
He smiled, "What does it mean that you won’t let it affect you?"
He's a smart man. I shrugged, "I'm not completely sure. Right now I go back to Alpharetta a couple of times a year. I used to spend two weeks near the end of summer, but I dreaded it, so I started going first to get it over with. Now it’s less than a week. Maybe spring break. As soon as school lets out for winter break I head down and leave for Hawaii Christmas day. I don't think I’m doing that anymore."
He turned his head to the side and looked worried, "What are you going to do?"
“I’ve never not woken up in my parent’s house Christmas morning. Jimmy’s family celebrated Christmas eve so that was never a conflict. I want to spend my holiday with people who want to be with me. Really be with me and let me be happy. I’ll probably go to Hawaii early. I haven’t given it a lot of thought outside of the stink it’s going to create.” I laughed a little.
“I imagine it will.” He laughed then went serious, “You are welcome wherever I am.”
“Thank you.”
“Not a problem.”
“Are you going to Hawaii with me?”
His smile was back, “Just book my flight with yours.”
“What do you do for Christmas?”
“Depends. I’m not a big Christmas person. Sometimes with mom, sometimes with friends. It’s a little early for making plans.”
“A little.” We’d known each other a month and it wasn’t even July. There’d been no reason to talk about this.
Sebastian let go of my hand, put his arm around me, and kissed my head. “I sense you are a big Christmas person.”
“I love Christmas. I love decorations, presents, baking cookies, snow. Not until after Thanksgiving though. I get very excited.” Putting up the tree and setting out my obscene number of snowmen was fun.
“I think we’ll do whatever you want this Christmas. It matters more to you. And if you decide to go to your parent’s house, I’ll follow you there too. Make sure they see exactly how happy you are.”
“You’re the sweetest.” I held my thumb and forefinger an inch apart, “And a little bit petty.”
“More than a little.”
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whatispersonalspacejyp · 4 years ago
Text
Sucker for Family
Genre: Angst Fluff
Pairing: Vampire Daddy Felix x vampire little Reader
Word count: 1221
summary: Y/N is 18 when she got changed, she had a rough youth. And was found by Felix as Y/N laid in an ally. He took her home and found out she was a little and later found out that Y/N was a vampire.
Warning: The readers little isn’t anything sexual. Also it mentions adoption.
@vampireskzz​ I could help myself! The idea kept in my head the whole day, and it was inspired by our talk and do not forget Felix!
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You felt totally weird as you felt hungry, but felt afraid for the humans around you. You curled away in the alley was as the sun was still up and it hurts, you had tried it yesterday, but got burned pretty quickly. You hold your sloth plushy to the chest as you wanted for the sun to be down.
Now it was finally dark, you got out of your curled up spot and holds your plushy closer. You keep on walking and walking, not knowing your destination. You mindlessly walked until you walked into something or rather some one.
You look up and saw a young man standing there, he was pale and wore all black. You quickly turn away from the man. “I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t watch where I was going.”
The man kneels down and ruffles your hair. “No worries sweety, what are you doing here on the street?” 
“I don’t know, I don’t remember. I remember mommy and daddy kicking me out. Then I woke up in an alley way sir. Just me and slothy!”
“I have some space for you sweety, you can stay with me tonight.” The man helped you up and you walked towards his house. “What’s your name sweetheart.” 
You look at the man with a smile. “Y/N! Sir? Are you going to be my new daddy?” 
The question shocked Felix slightly, but he smiled. “You are a little sweetheart?”
You nod. “Yes sir, my older self is 18, but I’m more like a 8 year old.”
Felix nods and holds your hand tightly. “Well then, my name is Felix, but you can call me daddy. I have my home open for people like you.”
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You have been living with Felix now for a week. He was very nice and bought you a lot of stuff already.
“Daddy? Can we cuddle and watch some cartoons?” You ask smiling.
Felix nods. “Sure my cute little bat. Go change into your comfy clothes. Baby, I got some rules. With punishment and rewards.”  
You nod at Felix and walks to your room. You grab your biggest jumper and your fluffiest panda socks. “Daddy! Can slothy join too?”
“Of course baby.” Felix yelled back as he made the couch ready, with pillows and the fluffiest blankets.
You ran downstairs to Felix and hugs him. “I’m here daddy! Elizabat bit me again last night I my foot! She meanie! Daddy, tell her she can’t do that it hurts.” You pout cuddling into him.
“Yes baby, I tell Elizabat to get out of your room and say out of your bed. Now, let’s cuddle and daddy has something important to say.” Felix lays on the couch and pulls you in his arms.
“Well daddy has decided he want you here and is going to adopt you, but there are rules in this house.” You nod as you cuddles against him, holding the blanket and Slothy close.
“Well the rules. Rule 1, be a good girl. Rule 2, say good morning and goodnight to daddy. Rule 3, don’t do anywhere without daddy. Rule 4, don’t steal any snacks or food. Rule 5, always ask daddy for things. Rule 6, no swearing. Rule 7, don’t scare people away.” You pout at the last part. “Okay daddy.”
Felix nods. “Rewards includes: You can chose your own snack.  Play dress up. You can stay up later or Choosing a punishment.”
“Punishments include: Spankings. Soap in your mouth if you say bad things. Earlier bedtime. Grounded. Doing chores or have a time out.”
You nod at Felix again. “I understand daddy! I be your good batsie!”
Felix giggles at your cuteness. “Please stay precious forever!”
He holds you against his chest as you were watching a cartoon. You were nibbling at his arm as you did that often and it made you feel very calm.
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You were sitting in your room as Felix had someone over in the house. He didn’t tell you who it was, but only that you needed to stay in your room. As you were obedient you were now in your room. Feeling very bored. Felix had given you a tea set so you can have tea time with your dolls and plushies. He had also giving you a coloring book with crayons and markers.
Today out of all days you were feeling extremely bored and mischievous. The toys that daddy had giving didn’t bring you joy. You looked at the wall and smirked. You grab the markers and started drawing on the wall. You were making a picture of you and daddy. Slothy and Elizabat where there too. You look up the ceiling and saw Elizabat hanging on the chandelier.
“Daddy said you weren’t allowed in here anymore!”
You hissed at the bat, showing your teeth and your eyes turning red, but it quickly turned back. “I’m daddy’s cute little bat! No! No! Meanie! Meanie!” you screamed loudly as Elizabat taked back.
You quickly ran out of the room and hug Felix. “Daddy! Elizabat called me ugly!” You cried out.
Felix wraps his arms around you and lifts you up. “Come baby, I’ll bring you back! I told you not to come out of the room.”
Felix walks into your bedroom and looks even more angry. “You colored the walls too!? You have a coloring book!” he groans out. Elizabat was still making noises.
“Elizabat! Stop it, y/n is not ugly if you keep up this behavior I’m kicking you out! Now get out and y/n stay in here till I say so!” Felix slams the door shut and you started to cry.
“Daddy is being a meanie! Unfair! Unfair!” You said as you threw a tantrum.
Felix walks out. “Sorry for that, that’s my adopted child as you can see the mental age is way below the normal age.” The other man nods and they talked for a while before he needed to leave.
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Felix was thinking for a punishment when he thought again about what happened. “Wait… how did my baby knew Elizabat was being mean. They can’t understand that! The nibbling… not wanting snacks?”
Felix jumps up and ran towards your room, slamming the door open. You sat on the bed looking angry at him. Your eyes were glowing red and your small teeth were resting on your under lip. “You are mean daddy!”
Felix gave you a small smile. “Baby? Why didn’t you tell me you were like me. You know I wouldn’t have judged you!”
You look in shock and then shyly looks away, holding both your sloth plushy and a bunny plushy. “Sorry daddy… I was just very, very scared.”
Felix ruffles your hair and pulls you into a hug. “This give the definition of stay precious forever a whole other meaning.”
You smiled at Felix and cuddles against him. “Sorry daddy, for drawing on the wall and leave the room without your permission.”
“It’s okay my cute little bat.” He gently kisses your head and lays your head against his chest. “Yeah daddy! Cute little bat! Rawr!” You growled cutely and showed your small vampire teeth.
“Our little family! Just daddy with his cute little bat. Now it’s nap time baby.” You nod and closed your eyes. The warmth of Felix was enough to lullaby you to sleep.  
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rosedavid · 5 years ago
Note
angst #2 for tyrus! but happy ending pls:(
2.  "Don’t you ever say that to me again. I mean it.“
“So you’ll never guess what I have planned for date night ton—Cyrus?” 
TJ walks into their shared apartment that night after a grueling day of school, keys swinging as he hums a catchy tune he heard on the radio. No matter how crappy the week, he always had weekly date night to look forward to with his boyfriend. Normally, when TJ walked in the door on date night, Cyrus would already be getting ready, calling out an exuberant hello. Tonight, though, the whole atmosphere feels a bit off as he enters. The apartment is dimmer than normal, as if a thick storm cloud settled inside. It’s eerily silent, the type of silence that isn’t relaxing but rather like the moment in a horror movie right before the jump-scare. And Cyrus, Cyrus is curled up on the couch, so still that TJ thinks he’s asleep until Cyrus turns to meet his eyes. 
“What’s wrong? Are you sick?” TJ worries, because what else could explain this type of behavior? 
With pursed lips, Cyrus shakes his head. His fingers scratch into the tops of his legs. “I need to talk to you about something.”
Dropping his backpack on the floor, TJ wonders what could have possibly made Cyrus act this way. Normally, if they have fights, Cyrus will confront him directly and immediately. If Cyrus is sad, he’ll be sniffling and trying to hide his red eyes. But this…this isn’t a feeling that TJ is familiar with from Cyrus, and somehow it feels worse. 
TJ sits beside Cyrus on the couch gingerly, as if the slightest wrong move will cause Cyrus to bolt. TJ attempts to wrap his arm around the smaller boy, but Cyrus seems to shrink away from him. For once, TJ doesn’t know what to do. He’s never felt so out of place next to Cyrus in all their years of knowing each other. Then, Cyrus speaks, a whisper in the air so soft that TJ has to strain to hear it.
“I’m leaving.”
TJ blinks, trying to understand what he’s saying. “Leaving? Where?”
“New York.”
The cogs in TJ’s head are spinning as he attempts to make sense of the jumbled words coming out of Cyrus’s mouth. Why would he be going to New York City right before his Clinical Psychology internship here in California? 
“I…I don’t understand,” TJ stammers, mouth dry. 
Cyrus sighs, placing a hand on top of TJ’s own. “I’m moving to New York.”
“What are you talking about? What about your internship? You have a whole life here!” 
“I applied to another one in New York,” Cyrus admits. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t think I would get accepted, but then I got the letter today–”
“I wish you would have told me sooner, but we can deal with this. Have you found any good apartments yet in the city? I need to see what credits of mine will transfer, but–”
“No, TJ, you’re not getting it. I’m moving to New York.”
Time feels achingly frozen. TJ’s hand stiffens in Cyrus’s grip. He pulls away, eyebrows furrowed. He stands up and tries to gain some sense of bearing of this situation. He and Cyrus have been dating for nearly 5 years, ever since high school. Despite the rough patches they went through, they’ve stayed together all this time. And now, it feels like Cyrus is just giving up on all that work, all the time they’ve spent with each other, loved each other.
“Cyrus–” he attempts to argue, but Cyrus interrupts him. 
“Listen, Teej, I know how you must be feeling right now…”
“You have no idea! I don’t–I don’t get it, Cyrus. I can come with you. We can move together–”
Cyrus bites his lip, tears forming in his eyes. “No, you can’t. I’m sorry. I need to do this, okay? But you need to stay here, finish school, enjoy yourself–”
“How? How could I when you’re thousands of miles away?!” TJ asks incredulously, throwing his hands up in the air. 
“This internship is the best opportunity for me, for us. You know I need to help my mom, too, and this will give me the resources to do that. It’s what’s best.”
The room descends into silence once again. TJ towers above Cyrus, arms folded. His back is turned away from the other boy as he stares out the window, dissatisfaction spreading through him. How could Cyrus say something like this?! How could he have made this choice without even discussing it with TJ first? TJ can’t believe that, after so many years of their relationship, it’s come to this. Finally, TJ turns away from the window, glaring down at Cyrus. Then, he lashes out.
“You’re being selfish.”
Cyrus suddenly stands up from his position, stomping over the short distance to TJ. There’s a ferocity burning in Cyrus’s eyes that seems so opposite of the person TJ knows that it causes him to take a step back in surprise. 
“Don’t you ever say that to me again. I mean it,” Cyrus seethes, hands clenched at his sides. 
Then, without another word, Cyrus storms right out the front door. 
Cyrus doesn’t return the next day, or the next. TJ can’t even bring himself to sleep in their bed, not alone. He takes up camp on the couch, instead. His back aches from the cruddy support, and his feet hang off the edge, but he still can’t do it. It feels wrong to sleep in there without him snoring softly on his side. Without his cold nose pressing into TJ’s shoulder. 
TJ tries to stay mad. It works for the first night. He paces a hole in the floor, tugging his hair so hard that a few strands definitely come out. He blames Cyrus for everything, thinks about how stupid and selfish he’s being. He thinks to himself that he’s glad Cyrus isn’t there right now, that he can’t stand to see him anyway. It’s true, to some extent. The anger is certainly present inside him, but as the tensions from before vanish, and TJ sits alone in the apartment, that anger dies down, only to be replaced by a building sense of deep sadness. 
He shouldn’t be sad, at least not more than he’s angry. This is all Cyrus’s fault, after all. New York?! Does he even care about TJ, about their relationship? TJ knows that Cyrus wants to have the money to take care of his ailing mother, but he can have enough by staying here, too, even if things are a little tight. TJ should be happy for Cyrus getting into his dream internship, but he isn’t. He’s not happy at all, he’s upset, because Cyrus will leave him to go across the country for this fancy job even though he could get everything he needed from here, with TJ–
TJ freezes, realizing something horrible in that moment. 
It’s not Cyrus who’s being selfish, it’s him.
On the third night without Cyrus, TJ cries himself to sleep. 
The next morning, TJ wakes up with sticky eyes and a pounding headache. He coughs, throat dry and ragged. His body is sprawled at an uncomfortable angle across the couch. The pillow previously clutched in his arms fell to the floor. He sits up, legs still cramped from stuffing himself onto the small area. 
Suddenly, the past nights come back to him like a punch in the face. He bolts up, ignoring the dizziness from standing too fast. He looks around for any sign of Cyrus, but everything is just as it was last night. 
TJ has to make this right. He can’t let Cyrus leave without apologizing, that’s for sure. They need to talk, sooner rather than later. But Cyrus hasn’t answered any of his calls yesterday or even read any of his texts. TJ thought that Cyrus was destroying their relationship by leaving, but as it turns out, it’s TJ who’s destroying it himself. 
What if it’s too late? 3 days of not speaking at all, no contact. For all TJ knows, Cyrus may already be in New York by now. He may have just lost the best thing in his life because of some stupid fight. And TJ remembers back to the fight, really focusing on how Cyrus looked more than what they said to each other. Cyrus looked awful: anxious, guilty, depressed. Cyrus was scared to tell him, and TJ reacted just the way Cyrus feared. 
With no other options left, TJ does the only thing he can: He texts Buffy. 
TJ: Buffy, I need your help
At first, he worries that Buffy won’t respond, but thankfully a few minutes later, the typing dots pop up on his phone. 
Buffy: Yeah, right. You think I would help you after you hurt my best friend so badly?
Guilt fills TJ even further. He hurt Cyrus. He hurt the person that means the world to him. Even if Buffy doesn’t want to help him, he has to try again, for Cyrus. He can’t live with himself knowing that Cyrus is somewhere, hurt and broken because of TJ. 
TJ: Please, Buffy. I know I’ve been terrible, and he never deserved any of it. I’m an idiot, and you don’t have to forgive me, but I can’t just leave things like this. I love him, so much, and even if he doesn’t want to forgive me, I have to try. Please, tell me where I can find him.
Five minutes later, Buffy responds. TJ nearly cries out in relief as he reads her text. 
Buffy: You have one chance, Kippen. Do not screw this up. He’s over here now.
Not caring about how he looks, TJ throws on a pair of shoes and grabs his keys on the way out the door. Buffy’s place is about 45 minutes away with no traffic. Normally, that long of a drive wouldn’t phase TJ, but in this context, it feels like an eternity. 
TJ presses the button for the elevator repeatedly, as if that would help it get to him faster. Suddenly, though, a startling realization comes over him. He sprints back into their shared apartment to grab something stuffed in the bottom of his drawer. If there’s anytime to make a grand gesture, it’s now. 
Just like expected, the drive to Buffy’s is like torture. TJ can hardly sit still. He’s even more snappy at the bad drivers than usual. The only thing he can think about is getting to Cyrus. 
An hour later, TJ finally rounds the familiar corner to Buffy’s own apartment. TJ shudders out a sob as he spots Cyrus’s little car parked outside. He parks his own car directly behind Cyrus. Despite his intense need to apologize to him, TJ feels stuck in place as he stares at the apartment building. What if Cyrus doesn’t forgive him? What if Cyrus never wants to see him again? 
TJ has to take that chance. It’s better to know than to always wonder, always regret never trying. With a deep breath, he climbs out of his car. To his surprise, Buffy is there waiting to buzz him in. She has a stern expression on her face, similar to the way she looked at him before they became friends. She doesn’t say anything to him, but the look she gives him is enough of a warning. He sends a grateful look back toward her before heading up to her apartment. 
He pauses outside the door for a second before knocking. He hears shuffling inside, closer and closer. The door opens. 
Cyrus stands there in a pair of Buffy’s sweats and sweatshirt, as they’re a bit too big on him. He looks completely swallowed up by the fabric. His hair is mused, not styled meticulously like TJ is used to. His face is pale, and his eyes hold an unwavering sadness as he stares at TJ. 
“C-can we talk?” TJ stutters. 
“No, we can’t. You can’t–I don’t want to be put through this all again, TJ,” Cyrus declares with a sniffle. 
“Please, Cyrus,” he begs, reaching out for his sleeve before Cyrus can close the door. “I’m not here to argue. I’m here to apologize.”
Cyrus stills for a moment, and TJ counts this as a cue to keep talking. 
“You’re not selfish, Cyrus. You’re the least selfish person I’ve ever met in my life. I was the selfish one. I didn’t even consider–” TJ cuts off. “New York was your dream. You gave up New York for school to stay with me. You wanted to stay closer to your mom because she got sick. You came with me to the school that I dreamed of going to because it was my dream. You’ve loved me, unconditionally. God Cyrus, you’re not selfish in the least bit. All you do is care about others.”
TJ takes in another breath to continue. “And I know how hard this decision was for you, I really do. And I know that the only reason you want me to stay here is because you love me and don’t want me to leave everything I’ve made for myself here. And I know that going to New York for this internship will help you get a better job and pay for your mom’s medical bills. And I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t know this before, and even though you’re going to New York, I can’t lose you–”
Cyrus interrupts TJ’s rambling by pulling him flush into his body, pressing their lips together firmly. They slot together perfectly as their lips meet. TJ cups Cyrus’s cheek with a gentle touch, while Cyrus clutches his arms around TJ’s neck. Tears fall down both of their cheeks. They only break apart when they absolutely have to, gasping for breath. 
“You should probably come in,” Cyrus mentions breathlessly, opening the door, “or Buffy’s neighbors might throw a fit.”
TJ’s heart flutters. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
Cyrus makes them both cups of tea in silence. TJ waits at Buffy’s table, not knowing whether he should speak or let Cyrus speak when he’s ready. He ends up deciding to wait out of nerves. A few minutes later, Cyrus places a hot mug of steaming tea in front of him with one packet of sugar inside, just the way he likes it. 
“I don’t want to lose you, either,” Cyrus finally whispers. “In fact, I don’t know if I can get through this without you.”
“You don’t want to break up?”
“No, I really, really don’t. Unless you want to?”
“Never.”
Cyrus’s lips quirk upwards as he sips his tea. “I’m sorry for springing all this on you so fast. I should have been more sensitive.”
“No, I’m sorry for reacting so rashly without letting you explain yourself,” TJ apologizes, reaching over to touch Cyrus’s hand. 
They sip on their tea quietly for a while longer. Every drink TJ takes burns his mouth, but he doesn’t care, not when Cyrus is right in front of him. 
“I love you,” TJ promises, squeezing Cyrus’s hand. “I love you so much. And since you’re going to New York, I think I need to do this now.”
Cyrus looks at him, perplexed as TJ reaches into his coat pocket. His hand clenches around the little, velvet box that he’s had tucked away for months. 
“Cyrus, you’re the best person I’ve ever known, and you’ve made me better because of it. I don’t know if I could handle not being with you for the rest of our lives–in fact, I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it.” 
He pulls out the box and opens it up in one fluid motion, sinking down onto the floor on one knee. Cyrus’s eyes widen. He reaches for TJ’s arms. Tears bubble up in both of their eyes. Soon, Cyrus is sinking down alongside him. 
“Teej,” he gasps. “A-are you…?”
“I’m sure,” TJ affirms. “I’ve had this ring for a few months now, but I’ve been too scared. But I have to show you how much I care, how much I want to stay with you no matter what we go through. I know you’re going to New York for a while, but consider this a promise for later.”
Suddenly, Cyrus starts giggling. 
“What is it?” TJ worries, hands hovering over Cyrus. 
“I just…you never asked the question,” Cyrus mentions, smile widening. A blush forms bright on TJ’s cheeks. 
“Oh my–I can’t believe I forgot that part! Cyrus, will you–?”
Cyrus wraps his arms tightly around the other boy.
“Yes, TJ, I’ll marry you.”
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skyechaser · 5 years ago
Text
Silence in Atlas (30/30)
I did it. After so long I did it. I really hope you like this. SIA has been one hell of a ride and it is, as I post this final chapter, the first fanfiction I have every finished. I hope it made the hiatus more bearable to you as it did for me. I want to finish it before V7 aired but that clearly didn't happen jajaja. Yet here we are. Thank you so much for reading. I'd love to read what you think of this finale or if there is something I missed.
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Blake woke up before Yang did. She wasn’t sweating cold and she wasn’t shivering. For the first time since she had been taken she hadn’t had one of those vivid nightmares. Deep breath. The blonde was facing her way, her left arm wrapped around her waist. They were both naked and the realization made her blush. She recalled the night before and couldn’t believe how bold she had been. She had hoped that intimacy wouldn’t trigger her if she was the one on the giving end. It worked. The sound of Yang moaning her name in ecstasy was so clear in her head that it turned her on. 
She tried to sit up but found her legs tangled with Yang’s in a way that would definitely wake her girlfriend up if she moved. The blonde’s face looked so peaceful. Blake closed her eyes and leaned in, resting her head on the crook of the other girl’s neck. She could get used to this. It was the closest she had ever felt to paradise. 
“You awake?” Yang’s voice caught her by surprise and her eyes shot open as she looked up. Amber met lilac once more. She moved up and kissed her girlfriend on the lips. “I’ve been awake for a while” the blonde admitted. “But I really like being like this”. Blake smiled and kissed her girlfriend once more. She couldn’t tell what  time it was and she didn’t care. They could stay like that forever for what she cared. Several minutes went by and they both started to drift back to sleep when they were interrupted by a familiar sound. Yang’s scroll lit up, Ruby’s face on the screen. They exchanged a concerned look as the blonde moved to answer the call.
“Ruby?” she said as soon as the scroll was pressed against her ear. 
“Hey, sis” the younger sibling said, her tone cheerful as always. Still, Yang could feel something was wrong.
“How are things in Vacuo?” the blonde asked. 
“Well… A little intense. We fought off a pretty impressive amount of Grimm yesterday and today their numbers were still...” her tone suddenly changed. “We need you and Blake” 
“Ruby… We are…”
“I know she’s healing. I know you are too. I know you need time but you deserve to know what is happening. I… I need you with me too, Yang” 
“I know, little sis” she replied. Blake stared at her, confused about the interaction her girlfriend was having with the silver eyed girl. “I’ll talk to her about it. We’ll try to be ready as soon as possible”. The truth was she didn’t know if Blake was ready to go back to their mission. She didn’t even know if that was possible at all after everything she had been through. She made no promises but she knew her little sister needed her as well. 
“Thanks… I love you” Ruby said.
“I love you too” Yang replied before ending the call. Amber eyes looked at her with a question in them. “She says things are pretty rough and…” Yang considered lying. She knew Blake would want to leave for Vacuo as soon as she heard the truth. A part of her wanted to remain in the beautiful bubble they were living in, simply enjoying each other. Still, something hurt inside her. She knew they had to go back an finish the mission. They needed them. Her sister needed them. “She asked me if we could go with them”. 
Blake’s eyes opened wide and a shiver ran down her spine. She was afraid she wasn’t ready to get back in action. She didn’t feel like it: she’d have nightmares almost every night and clicking sounds would still feel like electricity ran through her body. However, she knew it was their duty to stop Salem. They had taken the mission and they had to go through with. She wanted to. She wanted to help. But, could she? The faunus pointed at herself, then she the bent her index finger and pointed down. Finally she touched her wrist with the tip of her finger. 
“Ok” Yang said almost in a whisper. “We’ll wait a bit more”. 
Two days passed and things were simply beautiful. They’d get up late in the morning, have breakfast, make love and tour Atlas. Some people would make disgusting comments about them. A waiter in a small restaurant refused to serve them and called Yang a zoophiliac. However, this time, Yang didn’t lose her temper. 
“You are a sad little lonely man” the blonde had told the waiter as she and Blake left to look for a better place to have lunch. It was hard not to get angry but she had learnt making a scene wasn’t something her girlfriend liked. So she took a couple a deep breaths and calmed herself. Still, as they exited through the establishment’s door, she waited for the faunus to turn her back so she could give the waiter the finger. 
When the third day arrived Blake woke up after having a beautiful dream about her and her girlfriend and something in her told her it was time. She was still not back to her old self but she was good enough. When Yang woke up the faunus stared at her with words in her eyes. The blonde sighted and smiled sadly. 
“It’s time isn’t it?” Yang asked as she held Blakes hand tightly in hers. The black haired girl nodded. “Let’s go tell Ironwood. He’ll know how to get us to Vacuo”. 
---------------
“It’s so good to see you!” Weiss said as she embraced Blake. The faunus hugged her back. It was really good to be with the rest of their team again. They were staying at Shade Academy’s dorms and it gave her some sense of calm. It reminded her of beacon. It was around two in the morning and there were no stars in the sky. 
“I’m so happy you could get here so fast” Ruby added, giving Yang a knowing look.
“It was becoming pretty clear that you simply can’t do without us” the blonde joked. The group laughed. She looked calm but it was just a facade. Deep down she was scared shitless. There was no way of knowing what their mission was going to throw at them. She was terrified it would be something Blake wouldn’t be able to handle. 
“We’ll brief you on everything in the morning. Now let’s get you both to your room” Qrow said, placing a hand on Yang’s shoulder. 
“Yeah, it's pretty late and you must be tired” Nora’s voice made its way into the hall. Jaune and Ren were behind her. 
There were many hugs and many smiles before all of them headed towards their respective bedrooms. In the end it was only Ruby and Weiss that accompanied Blake and Yang to their room. The first thing they noticed once they were insided was that there was a single full sized bed. They both smiled and blushed at each other. They would sleep together just like they had for the last weeks in Atlas. Maybe they could be all right. 
---------------
Living in Patch once more gave Yang a feeling of peace she had not felt in a while. Waking up with Blake at her side everyday was the greatest joy she could feel. After battling Salem and saving Remnant they deserved to be happy. They deserved peace and quiet. Her girlfriend was still mute but she knew Doctor Yu and other experts were looking for a solution. Meanwhile they had mastered sign language, something that actually became handy during their mission, mostly when they need to be quiet and discrete. 
It was a regular morning and the blonde had gotten up early to make breakfast. Blake wasn’t really good in the kitchen and Yang loved to cook. It was the perfect arrangement. She was making pancakes when her scroll lit up. Weiss’s face appeared on the screen. She picked up. 
“Hi Weiss, what’s up?” she said. Almost as soon as she did the white haired girl answered with a surprisingly upbeat tone. 
“Go get Blake and put us on speaker right now”
“Us?” the blonde asked. 
“Hi, sis!” Ruby’s voice was full of excitement. “Go get her right now” 
She did as she was told, entering their room with the scroll on her hand. The faunus was sitting on the bed, a book in her hands. Her hair was still a mess.
“It’s Weiss and Ruby” she said, pointing at her phone. The faunus nodded and left her book on the bed, inching towards the edge to sit down next to her girlfriend. “Okay, guys, we are both listening” 
“He did it” the former heiress said. “Doctor Yu and his team are ready to act. They found a way to get Blake’s voice back”
Silence. Three seconds of absolute silence. The concept took a while to land in both of their heads. For the longest time they had forgotten, or perhaps ignored, the fact that Blake could someday get her voice back. Neither of them wanted to have high hopes only to be met with disappointment. They had had enough of that already. Their normal wasn’t so bad at all. Still, there was a part of Yang that prayed every night that the medical team would finally be able to help Blake. She wanted to be able to hear her voice again. Some days she would listen to voice notes in her scroll that Blake had sent so she wouldn’t forget how she sounded. Whenever the faunus told her something in sign language she tried to recreate her voice in her mind. She’d give anything to help her. Now, if Weiss was to be believed, there was an actual chance to heal Blake. 
“What?” was the only word that left Yang’s mouth “Are you serious?” 
“Yes, yes, yes” Ruby replied. “Get your butts to Atlas as soon as you can” 
“We’ll get there tomorrow” the blonde answered, tears forming at the edges of her eyes. They said their goodbyes and she hanged up. Was this real? Had that call actually happened? Yang turned to see her girlfriend and  her heart stopped at the sight she was met with. 
Blake didn’t look happy at all. Her mouth was open and her eyes wide in shock. She was breathing heavily. Her mind was suddenly filled with memories she would rather not revisit. The Traders. Aleph. Yudok. Names that she tried to forget with everything she had. Blake did her best to ignore that fact that she was mute. She and Yang could communicate perfectly with signs and that was enough. Things worked. Now she could be cured of that horrible thing they had done to her. Now she could be fixed and not be broken. All those thoughts had sent her back in time. 
“Baby are you okay?” Yang said as she gently placed her hand on her girlfriend’s knee. Blake was shivering. With her other hand she moved the other girl’s head so they were looking into each other’s  eyes. Deep breath. “It’s okay” the blonde said almost in a whisper and the echo of Agape’s voice appeared in the faunus’ mind. It would be over soon. Not being able to speak was always a reminder of that happened to her with the traders. She had gotten used to it and sign language made it easier to deal with the situation and ignore her condition. Still, she dreamt of getting her voice back. She wanted to tell her girlfriend how much she loved her. She wanted to have a chance at normal once again. 
“Blake?” 
Yang almost fell backwards when her girlfriend launched at her and hugged her, placing her face in the crook of her neck. She was crying, a raspy noise coming out of her mouth. They held each other for a while until Blake was able to calm down. Once she did the blonde moved back and kissed her. Her stomach filled with butterflies. They stared at each other, having mastered wordless communication a long time ago. 
“Let’s do this” the blonde said as she kissed her girlfriend on the lips.
-----------
The procedure was really simple. They would replace Blake’s broken vocal chords with artificial ones. They were custom made, specially designed for the specific kind of damage that was done to her. It was actually nice to see doctor Yu again. She would always be thankful to him for taking care of Blake. However, waiting at the very same room where she waited so many times a year and a half ago wasn’t really nice. 
After a couple of hours Doctor Yu opened the door into the waiting room, his face looked so very tired. For a moment Yang feared the operation wasn’t successful. She feared all of this was pointless. If this failed was there any chance Blake would talk again? What if something severe had happened during the surgery? All the negative thoughts echoed in her mind as she stood up to meet the doctor.
“Could you do it? Did it work?” was all she could say as she walked towards the man.
“We think it did. We’ll have to wait for her to come out of the anesthesia. But I am pretty sure we did it” he said with a smile. The blonde couldn’t control herself and inched closer to give Yu a hug. 
“Thank you so much” 
“You are very welcome”. 
Blake was asleep on her room when she walked in. Just like she had done back then she placed a chair next to the bed and sat down. After a while she fell asleep, half her body sprawled over the mattress. 
Blake woke up with a sore throat. She looked around the hospital room, memories rushing in. Deep breath. She looked to her side and saw a certain blonde totally asleep at her side. She smiled. 
“Yang” she said and the sound of her own voice surprised her. It wasn’t loud, more like a whisper, a little bit raspy, but she had actually said a word. “Yang!” she repeated a little bit louder, moving the alluded one lightly with one hand. The blonde raised her head from the bed, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands.
“You awake, babe?” she said.
“Yes” Blake replied. It took her girlfriend about three seconds to fully comprehend what was going on, sleep still present in her eyes. Then the realization hit her. 
“IT WORKED!” she exclaimed as she stood up “You can talk!” 
“Yes” the faunus replied “It feels a little bit weird but… I can” there were tears at the corners of her eyes that started running through her cheeks incessantly. It had been so long since she had heard her own voice. 
“BLESS DOCTOR  YU!” the blonde said, half joking half serious. She sat once again, looking Blake in the eyes.
“I love you” she smiled into the words. She could finally say it. She could finally tell her girlfriend how she felt. She had waited a year and a half to say those words for the first time. They sounded so good.
“I love you too” the blonde replied. 
When their lips collided together it was like this was their very first kiss. Yang placed her mechanical hand on Blake’s cheek. The faunus grasped it with hers as she deepened the gesture. When it ended they both leaned in, their foreheads touching. In that moment their love was the strongest force in the world and they felt in their hearts that nothing could ever break them apart. 
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teddy-bear-surprise · 4 years ago
Text
Chapter 7: Groundhog Day- Spencer
|| Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 Part 1 || Chapter 7 Part 2 || Chapter 8 || Almost The End || Chapter 9 ||
Same warnings as the previous chapter. This was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever written so please let me know if there are any inconsistencies or if you have any constructive criticism. Lastly, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy!
I was sleeping deeply, swaddled in the comfort of my dreams when I heard a series of loud bangs outside of my door. My mind churned as I struggled to form a cohesive series of thoughts. We had gotten along together so well yesterday so why was it that Ophelia still felt the need to wake me up in such a crude manner. The ceaseless racket that she was stirring up outside broke through my concentration and planted a painful headache in my mind.
“WHAT THE HELL?! I THOUGHT WE WERE PAST THIS!” I yelled out to her, not trying to be mean or anything, but I just could not stand the constant perturbances.
She stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, her eyes had changed. I could see the devil in them again, it was like everything that happened yesterday had only happened to waste my time, energy, and hope.
“You should be kinder to your host. After all, I am the one paying for the bed you’re sleeping in and could easily throw you out to dry up in the desert. You wouldn’t last a day, moron.”
I was taken back by her words. My yelling had been merely a statement intended to stop the commotion she created, nothing more. But even the insinuation that she might leave me to die in the desert was enough to scare me. I wanted to love Ophelia, I really did, but some aspects of her genuinely frightened me.
“I– What are you talking about? I just thought that after yesterday, you would be less aggressive,” I tried my best to convey the betrayal and confusion that I was feeling and for a second I could have sworn she understood me.
Her reply, however, confused me even further, “I haven’t the slightest idea as to what you’re talking about. Stop talking nonsense and get out of bed so we can get started. We have a long day ahead of us.”
What kind of mind games was she trying to play? What was she getting at? There I was, vulnerable and distressed, while she picked away at every ounce of hope I had left. It grew more challenging for me to understand her by the minute. Though I may have gotten a peek into her mind yesterday, I was now certain that I had only scratched the surface.
“You said you would go easy on me. We caught up last night. I thought we were on good terms again.”
“Did you hit your head? What the fuck are you talking about, you fucking worm?”
Ophelia walked closer to me and I tried to retreat, but she was in control before I could protest. Her hand connected with the fabric of my shirt and she lifted me by it as I felt it stretch uncomfortably.
“Stop fucking around and let’s go.”
I struggled to find the words to express my submission as she pulled me closer to her face, “F–fine. Fine. I’m going, just let me put on my socks again.”
My hands flew around blindly trying to find my socks when she released me. Eventually, I found a grey sock and a blue one, sliding them onto my feet with trembling hands.
“How the hell did you manage to mix up your sock colors? I literally gave you matching pairs of socks, fucking dumbass.”
While I tried to ignore most of her insults, this one hurt me deeply. The tradition was one that my grandmother had taught me about as a child. It was one of the only memories I had with her and I would rather die than let Ophelia shame me for doing it. Especially with her unpredictable temper, luck was something I could not waste or forgo.
“I just switched them around, it’s good luck.”
“Yeah? Well, you’re definitely gonna be needing that luck.”
Her maniacal laugh filled my ears up and sent shivers down my spine as I pulled the second sock up to my calf. I was already expecting the worst from her, but after that, I was not so sure my expectations were gruesome enough to match her plans.
“Give me your hands.”
She did not even give me enough time to react to her request before jamming her pointy knee into my sternum and retrieving a pair of handcuffs from her pocket. My mind struggled to process the overwhelming sense of Deja Vu that I was feeling at that moment. After a few moments, my thoughts caught up and I offered my arms to Ophelia shyly.
I had tried to be as inoffensive as possible with my actions, but I guess she must have perceived it differently because soon she was yanking my arms up to her level. As she pulled my hands closer to her, I felt my shoulder pop slightly, sending shooting pain down my arm. It took all of my strength to not react to the injury. It was much too early on in the day for me to show weakness. I was going to put up a fight for as long as I could, even if that was only a few minutes.
But as soon as she closed the cuffs around my wrists, I winced. The combined pain of my wrists and shoulders being abused was just enough to draw a reaction from me and I knew she had noticed immediately. She laughed at me, probably thinking about how weak I was.
“Man up, Mr. FBI, stop being such a wimp. My three-year-old neighbor could handle more pain than you.”
There it was, the not so subtle jab that lowered my self-confidence until I was vulnerable. I wanted to hide my emotions, but with all of the turmoil that churned in my mind and the salt she was rubbing into fresh wounds, I could not help but mutter my disappointment. Luckily, I was quiet enough that Ophelia thought that I was just sighing and did not take offense.
I looked up to face her, “Sorry, I’m ready to go now.”
“Come on, princess, I’m gonna have a lot of fun with you today,” she dragged me by the handcuffs and I struggled to keep up with her, still only half-awake and tired.
She plopped me down onto the same chair I had sat in yesterday but it felt slightly off. It was less comfortable than it had been before, not that it had been comfortable in the first place. Ophelia dragged my arms aggressively to the table to restrain me. I really needed her to stop doing that or soon I would end up with a dislocated shoulder and I certainly would not want that.
I sat there motionless for the most part, every once in a while I would have to shift a bit to keep my arms from going numb. While I was not certain of my theory, I suspected that either the table or my chair had changed. Yesterday I had not struggled so much to keep my hands red and feeling, but today they were easily turning white and tingly with the awkward angle that had been created. I had no choice but to accept the discomfort.
A part of me wondered if yesterday had even been ‘yesterday’ at all. It was entirely possible that I had dreamt the whole thing. Made up elaborate scenarios in my mind based on what I had seen of the house already and taken it as truth. My familiarity with the interrogation room could just as easily be construed as faulty storage of short term memory.
Who was I to know? Based on what I am almost certain is a real memory, I had a concussion. If that was the truth, then I doubt that my memories would be feeling normal anytime soon. Maybe it would be in my best interest to accept each day as a dream. To protect my consciousness and subconsciousness.
I kept my eyes trained on my hands as I considered my hypothesis but I could feel Ophelia’s ardent stare penetrating my mind’s walls. And while I had no idea what thoughts were running through my mind, I felt as though she did. Fearing that she was plotting something, I stole a glance in her direction. Ophelia’s eyes immediately darted towards the ground and my curiosity grew ten times stronger.
What twisted thoughts occupied her mind? Was she thinking about how to dispose of my body? How she wanted to kill me? How she wanted to traumatize me even further?
I opted to use the last of my wit to get her attention back. “So, what are we doing today? You said I would need my luck, I’m waiting.”
“Did you really think I’d just jump to the chase like that? No, it’s all a game, darling. You wait your turn, play your angle, and then maybe you’ll win.”
Ophelia walked towards me, slowly, like a lion waiting to pounce on her prey. Her eyes were fixated on me and it seemed like time stopped when she touched my shoulder. I felt vulnerable. Frightened. I could have sworn that she stole a sultry wink in my direction and I felt my heart flutter. Why was my mind betraying me like this? I did not want that tingle on my skin to go away, but at the same time, I knew that I should not be feeling this way about a woman whose hobby is murder.
I was unable to tell if it was her touch or her words that had me shaking. All I knew was that she had planned for my reaction and I gave her exactly what she wanted.
I castigated myself, angry at how I let her mess with my mind. For all I knew, I could still be dreaming or in a coma. Why else would Ophelia be reenacting yesterday and flirting with me? Why else? She hated me.
She did, didn’t she?
Ophelia left the room and while the soundproof walls of her house were practically iron-clad, I could still feel the vibrations of her movement as she ran up the stairs. I stared at the smooth ceiling for nearly five minutes trying to hear her steps but soon became bored and began counting the stones that lined the rough walls of the room.
It was a strange design choice for sure. I knew that we were in Arizona, but I would never have expected someone as smart as Ophelia to use a soft rock like sandstone to build an interrogation room. Though, I assumed that she must have included some other more resistant material behind the stone. There were little mounds of dust lining the floor, the house must have been so new that some of the dust still fell off when Ophelia went up and down the stairs.
I sat patiently in my chair, hoping that she would return soon today. Though I was anxious for the day to end so that I could return to bed, I was not looking forward to the cold again.
Anxious to know what lay in store for me, I fiddled with my hands, using each of my knuckles to help me keep track of the stones on the wall. I bounced my legs, hoping that some kind of movement might relieve the pins and needles. I had counted sixty-two stones when I began noticing a light layer of sweat accumulating on the surface of my skin. The neck of my shirt suddenly felt tighter and the air much thicker.
Now the real question was: Had I dreamt of the cold or was the heat a method of tricking me?
Had Ophelia planned to fluctuate the temperature daily so that I would not know what day was which or what was real or my imagination? There were so many variables that I could not account for and I felt helpless knowing this.
My thoughts began melding together, the distinction between each idea growing more convoluted by the second. I could vaguely understand why I felt this way, but I did not know what to do. Ophelia had not given me anything to eat since the first day. I was starving and dehydrated. The heat that was building up around me did not help either.
Suddenly a pang of hunger exploded in my stomach and I knew that my malnourishment was to blame. I felt sweat dripping from my hairline and down to my neck, soon even taking over my entire back. My breaths grew shallow and my mouth dried up.
I tried to straighten my body and stand up, but my attempts at comfort were hindered by the handcuffs. Defeated, I sat down again and leaned back, trying to stretch my body and ease my breathing. My lungs struggled to take in the hot air and my vision blurred slightly.
All I wanted was to relieve myself of the heat, but the garments on my body only made it worse. My shirt had been practically soaked through and the rest of my clothes were not far behind. In a futile attempt to cool me down, I slipped off my socks. The relief was quick but temporary.
I closed my eyes, tilting my head towards the ceiling again and a creak broke through the silence, “It seems that your luck has ended, handsome.”
Ophelia’s once demonic voice sounded so angelic that it surprised me, “Wha–”
I turned to face her and in my mind, I was ecstatic to see her but my facial expressions could not keep up with my thoughts. I felt my forehead creasing and eyes squinting, indicating confusion or disgust, in actuality, however, I could not be happier.
“Don’t worry, you’ll see soon enough. Just sit tight and I’ll be right back.” My heart smiled when she winked.
It felt as if I were floating in a dream. My limbs felt nothing besides the heat fanning onto them, I was losing my touch with reality.
I was certain that only moments had passed when she came back in, but somehow it also felt as if I had waited a whole day for her to return. The sudden noise of her slamming the briefcase on the table in front of me brought me back to the present.
I croaked, struggling to speak with my dry throat. “Uhhhh, Ophelia, what is that?”
I opened my eyes wide to try to see the black blob better, but my eyesight was deteriorating as my existence crumbled. Ophelia was sporting a sinister look upon her face and I could not understand what it meant.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Ophelia spoke with a low voice and clicked open the case’s closures slowly.
Of course, I wanted to know what lay inside, but knowing Ophelia– or assuming the worst– it would not be anything good. I was praying that there would just be a bottle of water inside. That was all I wanted.
She played with a blindfold in her hands and stared me down, under her gaze I lost control of my body and gulped loudly. She heard me.
“Don’t worry, I won’t kill you, that wouldn’t be any fun.”
I could not comprehend the words that I heard so I asked tentatively, “K–kill me?”
Ophelia smiled back at me with vile drops of poison dripping from her mouth… or maybe that was just sweat. I was too spaced out to tell. She walked behind me and my mind could not grasp that I could no longer see her in front of me, but that I could still see her behind me in the mirror.
“Why are you so worried? I said I wouldn’t kill you.”
This talk of murder along with the complexity of mirrors baffled me. The mental toll of it grew to be so much that even my breathing stopped for a moment. But when I felt Ophelia cover my eyes and my vision finally left me, I relaxed. The loss of such a vital sense should have scared me, yet its departure soothed me. I no longer needed to worry about seeing and my energy could now be used on my other senses.
Ophelia’s hand slithered down my arm and I could feel her touch throughout my entire body. Though I could feel her grip on me very clearly, the primitive side of my mind still wanted to know where she was and my head turned every which way in search of her. I guess I must have subconsciously forgotten that I had a blindfold on. Suddenly her fingers reached mine and I felt her squeeze my hand, I wondered why she would do that, but nothing made sense today anyway.
I sensed her hand retreating and soon heard the clatter of objects as she dug into what I assumed was her briefcase. Her footsteps approached me again and I felt myself overheating. This time, I could hear a subtle whir of a blade cutting through the air every few moments. Was it a fan that she held, or was it a knife of some sort? There was only one way that I could find out and I was not anticipating it.
“So, how’d ya find me, Mr. FBI?”
Her voice brought blood rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment. “I–I don’t know, I don’t think I can answer that question.”
As much as I wanted to give a good response, the inside of my mind now resembled a labyrinth that even I could not navigate. I racked my dull brain in search of an answer but I could not seem to find it anywhere. I was uncomfortable with how useless my mind had become. According to everyone, I was supposed to be a genius, now I was nothing more than a dumb nobody.
“You sure about that?”
Sweat dripped down into the blindfold and stung my eyes. I tried to come up with a better reply this time. I tried. Apparently, Ophelia was not in the mood for patience or grace today because the next thing I knew, a sharp knife-like object was piercing its way through my shirt.
Ophelia dragged its blade along my chest. She was so close to my heart that I became even too frightened to breathe. I could not go out like this. Not cowering in a crappy metal chair in some basement in Arizona. This was not going to be the end for me.
Then I felt it pierce my skin. Maybe this actually was the end. My blood fell onto the blade and I was thankful for my dazed state. If I had been fully conscious, I would have yelled, kicked, and cried from the pain, still, I could feel nothing more than the warmth of my own blood dripping down my skin.
“Would you like to reconsider?”
I wanted to be strong but knowing that blood was escaping from my already weakened body was disheartening and I allowed myself to shed a single tear. I had no answer. I had no idea what she was even talking about. My memory barely went far back enough to remember what she had said just now. I was probably only a few minutes away from passing out– my limbs grew lighter and my eyes heavier– there was no use in even trying to cooperate.
“I don’t know. I swear I don’t know.”
“Why are you lying to me? I know you’re lying and your tears aren’t going to deter me.”
There was nothing left for me to say. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.”
The words lost their meaning as more tears escaped my eyes. I thought she would have given up by then, but quitting has never been a part of Ophelia’s vocabulary, that much I was sure of. “Okay, fine, I get it. You don’t know. Is there anything you do know? Like your name maybe? Anything?”
“Spencer Reid!” Finally, something that I could say with confidence.
“Wait? As in Spencer Reid from Las Vegas, Nevada?”
I was shocked. Ophelia did not know it was me, could I really have imagined everything about 'yesterday'? I pushed a bit further, hoping that I could gain some sympathy from her. “Yeah! Ophelia, it’s me, we’re friends, remember?”
“Oh my gosh, it’s little ‘Germs’! Holy shit, I haven’t seen you in ages, kid. You changed so much that I didn’t even recognize you.” She remembered and I smiled at the nickname. The sound of it blessed my ears despite the slightly embarrassing memories that it carried.
“I know, it’s been over twenty years, I was too scared to say anything, but it’s me.” The truth was more complicated than that, but frankly, that was all that I could manage to say as my body grew weaker and weaker.
She pulled the blindfold off of my head and I blinked rapidly, trying to accustom my eyes to the room’s brightness again. While I could surely see better now than I could with the blindfold on, there were still black spots dotting nearly every corner of my vision. I noticed her hand moving up to my face and instinctively flinched.
She looked apologetic and spoke quietly to me, “Spencer, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was you. If I had known… you should have said something.”
“It’s okay, you didn’t know. I trust you, Ophelia, you would never hurt me.” I had no idea what I was saying. I prayed that my words reflected the truth, but at this point, I was just grasping at threads.
When I saw her bury her face in her hands reprehensively, however, I was assured that I had made the proper judgment call. I tried to reach over and comfort her, only prevented from doing so by the chains that still held my hands to the table.
“I’m so sorry. I– I never meant for this to happen.” Ophelia’s breath faltered and I thought I could hear her crying quietly from beneath her hands.
I tried to comfort her again. “It’s okay…”
She got up, wiping away her tears, and approached me, “Here, let me take those handcuffs off.”
“Thank you, Ophelia.” The relief that I felt when I was released was unparalleled and I forgot about everything else for a moment.
“Oh shit, I forgot about the cut. I’ll be right back to take care of that.”
She quickly stuffed the knife and blindfold back into her case and ran out. I assumed that she locked it out of fear that I would try to steal something from her, but she underestimated just how frail I was. I could barely see and I had almost no control over my motor functions, I posed no threat to her or anyone.
“Hey, Spence, I’m back.” When she returned I noticed that she was relieved that I had not moved. I was almost proud of myself for meeting her expectations and gave her a silly grin.
“Ophelia! That was quick.”
“Yep, I’m pretty efficient.”
Ophelia positioned herself between my legs and dug through her first-aid kit. I saw her grabbing all sorts of different items but they all looked the same from where I sat. She cleaned my wound gently and I looked down to see what exactly she was doing, I could not help but notice how close that our faces were. She was so quick and efficient that before I could even ask what she was doing, she had already bandaged my cut.
She might have been a criminal but she was a damn beautiful one at that. I was so delirious that her proximity to me triggered something deep inside of my subconscious.
“Hi…” I spoke in a singsong voice, wanting to get her attention.
Ophelia looked up at me and I did something that I had been wanting to do since the first time I saw her. I leaned down and kissed her. It took everything in me to move my lips against hers and kiss her back with the same energy that she brought.
My lethargic movements actually worked in my favor this time. Rather than showing how excited and anxious that I was, my lack of power channeled sensual energy instead. Her kisses felt just like I had imagined, soft and sweet. I felt as if I was on cloud nine and I only wanted more. My hand wrapped itself around her back and pulled her closer to me, not wanting to let go of the magical feeling.
A sharp pain emerged in my thigh suddenly and split through my thoughts. I looked down at Ophelia with pleading eyes. Then everything went bla–
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