#and thats pissing me off more than it should
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if this gets over 1,666 notes by December 24th I will write both chapter 2 and 3 of My regency au (I need a title ideas)
and i might put it on my writing blog @maggie-writes-things
1,666 notes by christmas eve
EDIT: 525 LIKEs GET to 525
#good omens rp#good omens#angel speaks#angel chats#angel posts#ineffable#angel starfly#archangel ariel#a.t.s morningstar#maggie writes#regency#au#fanfic#good omens au#wip#hozier vibes#kinda#regency dialouge is HARD FOLKS#i cant say gonna#and thats pissing me off more than it should#lovlies#ineffable idiots
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almost everyone at my school is a fucking zionist you talk to someone and go "oh they seem cool" and then the minute you have a class together and you're given a project where you have to discuss a problem in your community and your teacher is a hijabi who has stated that this is not a project about politics, and it would be great is you could just choose something like "cheerleader" you decide to do your project on the state of israel and use fox news as your source and them every other person next to you is cheering you on what the fuck im gonna commit murder
#i would never violence a student in a school zone#but god help me similar situations like this have happened so many times#do you know how many friends i have???? more than two!!!#there are two people in this school i KNOW are pro palestine. TWO. my husband and my child and that's IT#lord help me i don't want to make things in my social circles awkward but for this cause???? i'm gonna get out my free palestine pins#i should restart my embroidery project just for this#fuck im so pissed off#even my closest friends are FUCKING NEUTRAL and i hate bringing it up but GOD FUCKING DAMMIT it pisses me off so much im just silently stew#stewing in anger every time i remember#ok. im mad enough. i will put stickers on my water bottle i will wear a pin and i will practice embroidering the keffiyeh pattern#fuck this shit i hate everyone in this county except for like FOUR PEOPLE PLUS MY DAD. HEY GUYS WTF THATS A HORRIBLY LOW NUMBER HINT HINT F#i say things sometimes
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Thinking about current continuity Vanessa and just getting pissed off again
Like one, LET HER REST oh my god dc you ruin her FUCKING life like an asshole only to bring her back as a villain after she finally got out oh my god-
But also like its just so bad. This is a whole other woman with her name like why are we doing this. Like first you kill her mom (JULIA NOOO) and erase her YEARS of history growing up around diana (the thing that actually made her villain turn [if you can call it that w the level of manipulation involved] interesting and fucking heartbreaking) for some shitty "oh I saved you we were friends" run of the mill whatever. Then to use that and say Nessie had a crush on her OWN SISTER (Diana, so like informally adopted, but still 😡) now????
And then they took away her curls and made her a redhead but not even the realistic kind. DC SHE DOESNT LOOK LIKE THAT
It just makes me so mad. Freaking guys. They could have used another name like oh my god. She's not even the first silver swan why the fuck would they do that if they're not going to explore her history w diana (which she no longer has!!!!) or how intensely fucked up everything got for her. What is even the fucking point of this then other to drag a main character of the ww supporting cast through the mud again for genuinely no reason. They could have easily had her be Valerie Beaudry (sorry Val) instead or just MADE UP ANOTHER NAME because it's obvious that no one actually cared about her as a character they just wanted the wondy villain back so like !!!!!!!!!! Why even bother
#her entire treatment just makes me so angry#like in general it makes me mad and sad and a million other emotions#but the fucking robinson version just makes me enraged. beyond pissed off. because theres no fucking reason for it its bullshit and its the#one in current continuity right now. so i get to see tom king ww panels put on my dash that have this stupid fake vanessa and its so#infuriating. like thats NOT her!!!!!!! oh my freaking god people#her hair is BROWN and CURLY and shes dianas BABY SISTER who she lived with for YEARS like she was a MAJOR supporting ww character for the#longest time. like shes got about 100 appearances (just checked) preboot this is not a minor character#so freaking frustrating#blah#ALSO. FUCKING ALSO. THE FACT THAT THE WHOLE CURRENT VANESSA TURNED EVIL BC SHE REALIZED SHE WASNT SPECIAL TO DIANA BS. FUCK YOU THERE LIKE#OH MY GODDDDD “isnt special to diana” im going to fucking kill you. what do you mean she doesnt care about her specially. thats her FUCKING#BABY SISTER. not to sound like vanessa herself a la silver swan but those clowns at dc would never say that shit about cassie oh my god#not special my FUCKING ass. nessie and her mom were literally the first people invited to themyscira in post coie continuity#like yes diana trevor and steve trevor and even baby julia kapetelis washing ashore but like the kapetelises (and you could even say just#nessie bc again her mom had been there before) were the FIRST ones invited there like you cannot say diana didnt care about them more than#the average joe dc i fucking despise you.#this girl has been through so much why is dc incapable of throwing her a bone ever. nessie i am so sorry they did that to you sweetie.#gonna tag it bc her tag deserves the traffic#vanessa kapatelis#just makes me so mad#doing all that to the normal teen girl character in a wonder woman comic is so fucked actually like dc comics i should not have to explain#that to you. what message do you think you are sending here be serious
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*shaking and crying* where is Urizen
#“monsterfucker website” they cant even handle the 20ft tall grotesque demonic half of a cambion#lowkey blame VoV for that. like I love that manga to death but god did the last chapter did not help the whole-#“V is his own person/is *the other half* of vergil (and not like. one half)” interpretation. bc then wtf was urizen for.#and tbh the game itself doesnt make it easy bc *obviously* we spend more time with V than with urizen. and then there's vergil's World of V.#and I guess its obvious both game and fans would focus more on the pretty goth bait and The Literal Best Character On All Time-#rather than mr. 1 dimentional boss fight demon but FUCK MAN now im pissed off that he is treated as unimportant-#and/or straight up forgotten that he even existed. like fuck he IS vergil's power. gone wild and without goal but he IS part of vergil#just like V is. and if V couldve “gotten his own character” during the time he was separated then why the fuck couldnt urizen?#<- sidenote I do not like the whole “V is/got his own character” thing. like no thats still vergil to me.#and yeah the last chapter of VoV fuck that up for me but im mainly of the opinion that-#if vergil exists. neither V nor urizen can. and vice-versa.#which imo SHOULD be the logical way but I guess nobody but me like urizen for what he is or represent. so its all about vergil and V#(who is STILL. FUCKING. VERGIL. TO ME. HNHNHNGNHN)#anyway whatever.#justice for urizen#tagging later
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I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭
#warrior nun? only cared about beatrice couldn't really get behind ava much#the locked tomb? INSANE for gideon. harrow is like cool I guess (I feel like I should like her more than I do idk)#and now dungeon meshi. I knoowwwww I'm going to love falin. 10 episodes in and I already find her relatable and awesome and so cool and sexy#AND SHE BECOMES A DRAGON LIKE FUCK MAN (she's still dead atm but soon soooooon)#marcille on the other hand?? I mean she's fine... but I'm not really drawn to her (I like namari a lot more tbh)#and the thing is I know part of it is the feminization of all three of them#I am not attracted to femininity pretty much ever (outside of a super sexed up version in which case gugh)#and ava and marcielle both have a very bubbly personality type that has never really drawn me in ever#they can have cool stories and I can enjoy them in that. but I have no desire to seek them out outside of that#and harrow... honestly I think it might be the way fandom sees her that makes me not care much about her?#also my feelings about the series as a whole by the end of nona probably don't help#BUT I definitely think a big part for all three is the femininity. none of their counterparts that I DO love are overly fem#(and HONESTLY I don't think harrow should be either and the fact hardly no one actually makes her butch the way I see her pisses me off)#((she CANONICALLY hated her long hair!!!!!!!!! stop giving her anything more than a buzz cut I'm going to attack you!!!!!!))#also. marcielle has green eyes and I'm sorry but I just can't 😭#I need every single character ever in existence to only ever have brown/black or gold/yellow eyes#stop with the blue and the green 😭 please#ANYWAY POINT BEING: I hate that this happens to me because I end up not getting obsessed with the ship#and mostly only getting into the single character but then I don't want to read fic about just one person#so I try out the ship stuff and shocker no one writes the other character in a way I like so I don't read it#and then I feel bad cause all my ships and main characters I'm obsessed over are men#and then I complain all the fandom favs and mcs in stories are men#but like I'm contributing to the problem!!!! but like I'm not attracted to hannibal but I like his personality#I'm not attracted to optimus but I love how fucked up his whole deal with megatron is#I DO love both luffy and zoro even though I'm not really attracted to either of them#the lotr/hobbit ships.... eh I love the world and I love dwarves and I will do anything for them so the characters don't matter much lol#AND THATS THE ISSUE 😭 the worlds of warrior nun and tlt and most of what i've seen of dungeon meshi don't really entrance me much#so I don't get into the ships for that. and I'm not attracted to both people in the ship. and I can't relate/project on both in the ship#and sometimes I find one character type less likable/annoying so that makes me not want to engage
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So which is it? Did Bruce treat everyone like that or was he only super mean to Steph bc of the writers? Like I’m tired of the excuses being made, if it was one and done whatever but the way Bruce treated steph did impact her story and then changing stephs personality to golden retriever blond doesn’t change that at all lmao
#fans when the character flaws are socially unacceptable 😖😖😖😖#like yeah a lot of tim and Bruce’s writing did reflect racism classism and misogyny of the writers#that doesn’t make their impact on the characters they were talking to any less racist misogynistic or classist#and i genuinely think choosing to ignore it in order to preserve ur image of ur white fave whilst completely changing the way steph Duke#Damian cass etc. behave is more racist than the writing#this is just to me#to ME changing the things tim said and making Steph a ditzy Girlboss blond is more misogynistic than ANYTHING they could’ve written#at least they had a point where growth could happen and the possibility to give Steph a backbone#y’all just say tim is a coffee addict and go#and It’s the personality shifts that bother me the most#like this most recent Damian is ass sorry#like in canon making his relationship with Bruce good or closer than it actually was….#and ppl saying Bruce changed post death like no he hugged Damian once lmao#like that didn’t change a damn thing between them before#and if it was presented as codependency and trauma bonding whatever but it’s not they just act like he was always a difficult fave#which fuels racist fans who already thought that even more#yuck#and every single personality shift that happens is to prop Bruce up and by extension tim bc the meanest thing dc does to him is nothing#like y’all think tim is most hated NOT true#he’s badly written in the sense that his personality becomes being the perfect soldier for Bruce#which y’all play into by doing the same shit downplaying everyone else but making him pissed about it#get real#if I see another fic or hc about how Damian actually can’t withstand torture or needs Tim’s help to hack smth 😭#y’all can’t stand that Damian IS talented it’s so sick like his whole issue is that he’s a kid with kid emotions who knows how to do all#this shit and mentally knows he ‘should’ behave differently and fails in an effort to go towards that bc he doesn’t take him still being a#kid into account UNLESS it’s an advantage. saying ur a better writer than dc by saying Talia was play fighting? ok…#when ppl are like ‘Talia/Ra’s would never respect a kid enough to do XYZ…’ THATS THE POINT!!#anyways sorry tiktok vid pissed me off this went everywhere
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the discussion around trans pregnancy has gotten really annoying for me bc i feel like a lot of it comes down to either (trans)misogyny at this point or viewing trans people as like a hivemind of people who have the exact same desires and experiences. like yes, several trans men and nb people with uteruses are uncomfortable and dysphoric at the idea of pregnancy because of the language and experiences around it. that is true and that's something ppl need to be conscious of! that does not mean you get to yell at trans people who DO want to get pregnant and accuse them of fetishizing it or disrespecting it.
#didnt want to derail that last post so im making my own but thats a great example right there#''why would YOU as a TRANS woman want pregnancy? itd make ME dysphoric'' ok well you are not her though. you have different values#also like i understand that pregnancy can be dangerous and a risky procedure but like.........#if cis women are allowed to love and desire it? why cant a trans person feel the same way?#im saying all this as someone who doesnt want to be pregnant or have kids ever ftr im not saying that you need to have kids or whatever#echoed voice#also this pisses me off moreso now w trans ppl being sterilized or denied adoption or denied family in general#like fuck off#i think ppl think reproductive rights are like... just about abortion. which the topic does include yes#but like its also about people who want to get pregnant at all but have less rights and support about it#i think some ppl are like ''well i dont want kids so why should you?'' and leave it at that#when the topic is a lot more nuanced than that
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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john always praising sam for having the kind of intelligence henry was looking for in a man of letters (books and that sort of stuff) but never allowing dean to explore his intelligence and all that he could do because he was the punching type not the reading type so dean had to be too just neglecting and criticizing his kid like he did himself but dean was sooo smart and quick and he probably got into so much trouble for "being a smartass" whit his dad because john felt dumb all over again when his kids showed how clever they were and i don't know if this makes sense its just the sadness of it all the cycle of criticism and low self-esteem that just kills me if i think too much about it how our parents never got their chances and its so unfair but taking it out on their kids is also so unfair
#I don't know if this makes sense#its just pissed me off#people are so much more than meets the eye#and we should allow them to explre it all#but also is it possible to heal our parents#People are different and thats supposed to be great!!#we are all a part of this big fucking puzzle that is life#I don't know how i got this from one line#going through some shit#supernatural#dean Winchester#dean winchester is smart!!#the winchesters#john winchester#fuck grammar#fuck commas
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there is absolutely nothing i hate more than people telling me how to live my life and chiming in with opinions that i did not ask. do i look like i lack self awareness to you. there is no one on the planet who understands me better than me so fucking choke on your opinions and leave me alone man
#i Loathe when people tell me haha you're going to change your mind about x thing just you wait! die a little man lowkey#i have my own opinions and stances about certain subjects and unlike most people i KNOW what i like and what i don't like. crystal clear#more specifically when i'm not even doing anything and then someone chimes in telling me i should be doing something. YOU do something. die#sorry about the rant i just got very pissed off because there is nothing i hate more than people telling me what to do#no one is entitled to tell me how i should live and thats fucking final#personal thoughts
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eh now that im thinking about it again i think maybe my problem with fandom is mainly just that its completely incapable of remotely understanding how any sort of interpersonal relationship works in the slightest and portrays them in the most ridiculous stupid ways not only is everyone ridiculously too emoteionally expressive and self aware and way too eager to therapise each other and discuss things in ways that no one really ever would but they also way overstate the way the characters even think about these things and then when its not the writers invented versions of the characters psycological states its always just about stupid internet subculture memes that i refuse to believe anyones even capable of finding funny or else the other way of completely misunderstanding interpersonal relationships which is making everything about romance or family structures its either throwing away all their actual relationship to just be about kissing and they love me they love me nots and honestly i reckon its actually worse when you actually ship them cause then your actually invested in their relationship and think they could actually have a romantic relationship while still resembling the actual characters relationship, at least if you dont really ship them its less annoying and you can just appreciate it as a random story. and the only other thing these people are interested in writing about tends to be totally misinterpreting the non romantic relationships as well like its hard to believe these people have ever actually had family if this is how they write them but i suppose they can at least acknowledge thats actually a valid reason to care about someone? plus the ways they always have to make non familial relationships into family like its especially ridiculous who they think has a parent and child relationship like seriously just admit your brains too small to comprehend more than too types of relationships. also they way theyll insist characters have a parent child relationship based entirely on the fact that its the kid of one of the characters they ship together i mean thats just getting obsessive not everything has to support your ship and its ridiculous to think that every kid would see their parents partner as a parent let alone the way they insist its like this with adults like ypu know they can still have a good relationship and everyone can get on great without them getting another parent when theyre literally in their twenties
#theres so many things that annoy me about fandom isnt there#my last post still stands but i reckon thats not the main thing#really theres loads of things though#but literally like its hard to believe its even like this like how do people come up with these interpretations unironically#i mean i know it feeds itself and grows on its own flesh but like still#again not my people#whatever#urgh the whole tone of this feels so flat i dont know why thats annoying#is that better than horribly pissed off at everything#i was just typing it as i thought of it its all stuff ive thought before i suppose im just recalling it to put down#its weird how weird everything is like i dont really feel anything like ever or at least not now#this doesnt even sound particularly smugly judgemental or ironically pathetically ridiculous like it probably should#i mean the ridiculous stuffy voice is still there with all the stupid bloody essay word choices and rubbish#urgh i cant be bothered to analyse my self expression and what it shows about my mental state and presentation of myself right now#even though its definitely something there about that something#though to be honest the stuffy wording randomly coming up in places is a bit of a habit whenever i use my brain even slightly for anything#i just write what comes to mind and cant be bothered to think of the wording cause apparently my brains to small to think#two thoughts at once#not exactly a surprise i only ever read fanfiction is it#it really takes up a lot less brain space and effort and its quicker and doesnt make me think etc#dont know why even non deep books are more effort
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"Why are all SK fans proshippers" Silence fetus
#text#mind you SK was released in a very different time period where fandoms back in the day were built different. freaks strived and#everyone back in the day followed fandom etiquette “ship and let ship” and “dont like dont read”. fandoms back in the old day were#peaceful and supported one another. ppl shipped anything and everyone and ppl minded their own business in the early 2000s#thats how almost all old sk veteran fans i know turn out to be what they are today#(ofc there are some. other veteran folks i do not fuck with as theyre also genuine assholes and are hypocrites/ostracizes others.#. but another discussion for another day lol. you must be a level 100+ of friendship to unlock my tragic sk fan backstory)#also news flash all of your favorite anime/manga stories are all written by profic ppl! thats right! everyone in japan are profic#shocking i know#japanese folks dont give a flying rat ass when it comes to FICTIONAL morals because they know how to differentiate between fic and reality#the fact that so many antis keep on twisting the word proship so many times to the point where its widely misinterpreted and ppl#nowadays esp the younger gen easily believe in the misinformation and keep repeating the cycle of misinformation in modern fandoms today#it pisses me off honestly#but yeah what did you expected from a old series that came out in the late 90s. the fact that theyre consuming the series when the series#itself also literally has problematic elements too lol#and see this is why im glad SK is niche despite that i wish it was popular so it can bring in more renmei fans but in the end its better of#being niche#because had it blown up it wouldve attracted all of the chronically online kids/puritans/fandom police and ruin everything for everyone#modern fandom today is the reason why all fandoms suck nowadays and its why i gave up joining and being part of them#theres discrimination everywhere in modern fandoms. oh your a proshipper? gtfo DNI and kys!!!!11111#its like theres eggshells everywhere no matter where you go. you have to abide with morality and puritanical rules its the “automatic” law#but fuck that thats never been the automatic law in fandoms lol. Ship and let ship AND dont like dont read is the real fandom laws here lol#but back to what i want to also say. theres nothing you can do about SK fans being proshippers. the old fans has always operated that way#since the old times. either adapt / cope with it OR you can just. block everyone and preserve your peace. which takes like 10 seconds#this is like maybe the 15th SK puritan fan i know lol. then again i also know theres ALOT of renmei antis who follow the puritan mindset#imao. I say this alot many times but SK fandom is only ugly and almost everyone becomes a puritan when renmei gets mentioned#which has always made me ????????????????? so yall can handle yoyo boy and anna teen preg can handle serg getting groomed/manipulated#by marc and xes laws can handle kids getting their arms and legs ripped off can handle kids getting killed left and right#can handle shipping bruce lee whos like plenty years older than JUN which btw beginning of the series she starts off being 17#but a 4 year age gap between ren and jeanne is too much apparently and should be cancelled. geez louise
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you have to admit its pretty funny that transphobes will go red in the face screaming and foaming at the mouth because their basic understanding of gender is being challenged while somewhere in the world some trans person is chilling in a hammock drinking from a coconut with a bendy straw and a little umbrella
#i mean the vitriol is scary more than anything but its also funny considering that trans ppl r just like. chilling#its just really simple. and at least for me my goal is not to be a 'biological male'...#like yes i get dysphoria and shit but where i am atm im actually fairly comfortable with my body. not super interested in phallo#cuz thats always the main thing transphobes say like 'YOULL NEVER BE A BIOLOGICAL MALE!!' which like ok 1. what is a biological male#2. I DONT GIVE A SHIT !!!!!!#bc taking hormones means i develop male characteristics. or like yknow. characteristics that allign more with my internal image of myself#and honestly starting hormones has been so epic. not seeing a major voice drop yet but well... there are changes#and my moustache is honest to god coming along . ive had shitty lip hair for the past couple yrs but like ... i stg... the potential is here#anyway. this is all to say that i think its very easy to come to terms with the fact that like. we have autonomy#you can do whatever you want to your body. people split their tongues in half. people get gauges and piercings and tattoos and what have u#you should be able to experiment with your body and bring yourself closer to inhabiting a body that makes you comfortable#the goal at least for me is not to become biologically male. i want to be comfortable in my body#and i want to be percieved as male#bc another thing that pisses transphobes off is im not particularly masculine (or rlly feminine for that matter)#but they dont know the joys of being a fairy beloved by mothers around the globe. okay.#anyway its almost 1am can you tell i cant sleep lately and also dont want to do a thing that is due on friday. xo
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i can finally like have that semester where i dont have to think about school all the time its only 40% of my thoughts
#spring 2023 was bad bc i took chemistry and that was a mistake#im not a stem student i just thought it could be fun.. i was wrong#i passed w a B though 😏 doesnt mean i did well though aha teacher just curved everyone i think#but yeah last unstressful semester was fall 2022#spring 2023 was stressful but still fun bc no annoying people fall 2023 was dreadful as mentioned before#i had an israeli teacher & teacher who likes to hear himself talk more than us so we never interacted#an old white teacher who was annoying as fuck like he told me my queer story is not relatable to non queer people#okay? thats the fucking point not everything is made for you fuck off#and a class where we watch old white people movies made by the west and listen to stupid peoples horrible opinions on stupid movies#and a teacher who is not outright zionist but doesn't speak out on it so still a contributor and complicit#i still have her bc its a fellowship but my classmates are pretty normal so its a balance i guess.. they help when she really pisses me off#surprisingly and unfortunately the teacher who's teaching structure was best is the israeli.. i looked him up and i dont think hes a#violent zionist like “kill all arabs” but i think he is still a zionist which is inherently violent so#he never talked about it in class which is a relief honestly bc it would make it unbearable to be there#you see i would never choose these teachers it was part of the film program but after that semester i left it even though its the reason#i even came to college but now im doing other stuff that i like with more normal teachers#but i have realized higher education is an oppressive institution like any other so it will never be the level of radical i want#unless teacher just happens to be so.. its by luck but yeah i had some trial and error the last 2 semesters but now it should be okay#learned what works.. no more than 2 reading classes 2 arts/creative class 1 class that is like a freebie like easy teacher or smth silly#but with my interdisciplinary study which i want to start next term we will see how many semesters i have left#im on my 6th now so i hope to be done in 8 but it may take 9 or 10#bc all courses are not related to my degree#unless i make a good case that it does fit we will see#🧃
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#knowing that you know i left and you didnt even try to check on me hurts more than the fact that you upset me#and didnt apologize and just went to bed#thats crazy dude. i really should just drive off a bridge and see if you even fucking notice until the next morning#cant believe im in the spare room and you just dont give a fuck#wtf is happening#i can't tell of I'm being a bitch now or of im justified in being upset and that pisses me the fuck off#you literally tried to go to bed wothout even talking to me and then said nothing when i left the house in the middle of the fucking night#so i could drive and cool off#literally nothing#like you dont even fucking care#i dont get it. i dont.
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i love that my boss says that we're in a flexible and considerate work environment, and that if we have emergencies or need a day because our health is bad that morning, we can text and take the day off with little notice. i text her at like 5 am, i usually work at 10, so thats five hours of notice, and she still hasnt text me back! i text her again about 10 minutes ago and told her i can come in tomorrow to make up for the missed time and she still hasnt text me back about that either! i understand that we're getting ready for the holidays and shes stressed, but it absolutely is not fair or professional to completely ignore me and be pissed off every time i ask for a day off with as much notice i can give even though she says "its fine." her communication fucking sucks and its wild. like dude. be an adult. tell me youre mad at me or tell me i wasnt supposed to do that thing if i wasnt, tell me that i need to make up for my time gone, etc. we would all be better off if you didnt act like a fucking elementary schooler with a grudge
#the reason i gave her this morning was a good reason#i said that the dog im dogsitting got really sick out of nowhere last night and ive been up with him for hours#and i have to contact his owners but theyre out of the country so i didnt know when that was going to happen so i needed to be here#like! thats a good reason! thats an emergency!#i absolutely made it sound like it was worse than it was because i needed the day to do schoolwork#but he legitimately didnt feel well last night and hes old so i was worried about him#i dont have to contact his owners but i do wanna keep an eye on him#so like#half lie#but i dont do that often so whatever.#i dont feel like she should be pissed off at me and not responding for that excuse. its literally more valid than some other reasons ive no#shown up#update she text me back and said 'i thought you were working thursday anyway' when i offered to work thursday to make up for missed time#note: i am not scheduled to work every thursday and havent been shes just asked me to work every fucking thursday for the last two months#even though thats not a part of my schedule officially#love that#fuck dude#if they werent so accommodating (for the most part) and if this wasnt such a specifically good job for me i would absolutely quit#aiilov-personal
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