#thats crazy dude. i really should just drive off a bridge and see if you even fucking notice until the next morning

[ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts]

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[cheesydoesitstevie]

Unlikely Trio

Summary: Reader ends up on an Elevator with Bucky and Sam. 

Warnings: none really. Maybe a little violence. Not sure what I was going for with this. Was inspired by an Asian ad. 

Something inside you was dying for some excitement, anything to break up this mundane routine you had fallen into. The bell dinged as the elevator stopped prematurely a few floors before the lobby. Calm classical sounding music played softly throughout the gold decorated elevator. The doors slides open and two large men stepped in. Both of them were dressed pretty casually yet they looked as if they were headed somewhere important. They seemed familiar, you weren’t quite sure where you had seen them before. They definitely weren’t movie stars. You needed a better look but didn’t want to be caught staring.

One quick glance wouldn’t hurt, study as much as you could within a few seconds. Your eyes lit up and something snapped in your brain. They were the Avengers. Well what was left. You remembered something about Sam Wilson aka the Falcon taking over as Captain America and his partner was Bucky more well known as The winter soldier. Sam nods at you and smiles awkwardly. You bit your lip turning to look down at the floor before a crazy thought pops into your head. You pull your hood up over your hair. Unsure of why this was essential to your idea. Timidly you turn towards Bucky, he looks you up and down while Sam’s face contorts displaying his confusion in his eyebrows.

“Can I join you guys?”

“Sure. Just follow my lead.” Bucky replied facing back towards the doors.

“Wait. No! Absolutely not!” Sam looks at Bucky like a parent silently scolding a child.

“What?” Bucky asks with a shrug his tone indicating that he doesn’t see what the big deal is.

“C’mon man. She’s a civilian.”

“I have pepper spray and a knife.” You hold out the knife as the pepper spray dangles from a keychain that’s wrapped around your wrist.

“See Sam, she has a knife.” Bucky holds his gloved hands out as if he’s showing off the knife in a showcase.

Sam quickly becomes more annoyed, not sure why Bucky is humoring this clearly insane young woman. He looks her over before shaking his head and trying to ignore his idiot partner. Through gritted teeth Sam tries to speak so that only Bucky hears him.

“Dude, we’re after Zemo right now. It’s not the time to play adopt a civilian.” Bucky pretended to ignore everything Sam said.

You hold the knife and various ways that you had seen on Tv, Bucky only encourages you more. He pulls out his own knife and begins to twirl it around. You watch in awe as he flips it up with his right hand before catching it in his left.

A gruff sigh of disapproval leaves Sam’s mouth as you and Bucky compare knives. He tries to teach the same twirling technique he just showed you. You drop the knife a few times, each time Bucky caught it mid air just before it hit the ground. The elevator slows and the number lights up. This is where the guys are getting off. Sam shoots Bucky one last warning glare before moving to exit the lift.

“It was nice to meet you...”

“Y/N.” You say extending your hand to Sam. He shakes it politely and then turns to leave.

You feel little pang of sadness strike your heart as you watch Bucky’s frame move through the doorway. Soon the doors will close and the most exciting moment in your life will be over. Bucky looks back and nods his head towards the hallway. The feeling of butterflies shoot through you. You struggle to contain the excitement that is surging through your veins.

“Stay behind me.” Bucky whispers pushing you gently behind him.

Sam walks a few feet a head. They’re closing in on the target. The hallway is long and with cheaply painted white walls. A few large windows cast a natural light on the eerily silent and empty hall. Its the middle of the day but suddenly the feeling of a dark and creepy abandoned building starts to creep up over skin. Pebbling it in goosebumps as the hair on the back of your neck starts to stand. You weren’t sure when Bucky had grabbed your hand, now that you were aware of it made you feel a little better. Your fingers lightly squeezed his hand feeling your own heart beat thump in your chest as the sound of blood rushed through your ears.

Bucky turned to side slightly glancing at you through his peripherals. He nodded and pulled you closer to his back. He used his other hand to put one finger over his lips. You understood the message and nodded. Swallowing quietly in anticipation about what was going to unravel here.

Sam paused outside of a door that read 201. He looked up signaling for Bucky to take the same position on the other side of the door. Sam made eye contact with you and his face flushed with anger. He cursed Bucky under his breath. Bucky seemed to be un-phased by anything going on with Sam.

Everyone grew quiet listening for life on the other side of the door. The news could be heard softly playing in the background. A mans voice muffled through the television murmured on about events going on in New York City. A clanking of dishes let Bucky know that Zemo was definitely home.

He nodded to Sam, letting go of your hand and slipping his gun from the back of his pants. Sam turned like he was about to kick the door in. You drastically yet silently shook your head no and both men paused to see what the problem was. Bucky was curious while Sam grew more and more impatient with whole charade.

Pulling yourself up on Tiptoes you whispered into Bucky’s ear. Bucky nodded agreeing that was a better idea. He waved the gun towards Sam indicating he wanted Sam to go back to his previous position. To everyone’s surprise Sam did and waited for his cue.

Bang. Bang.

The room behind the door fell silent and everyone seemed to hold their breath listening waiting for a response.

“Maintenance.” Bucky yelled through the door. There was a moment of silence everyone seemed to be holding their breath. 

“I didn’t call for anything.” A mans voice echoed from the other side of the door. He was close enough to be heard but not close enough to touch the door. Sam considered he might be armed and waiting for them to kick the door down.

“We’re checking all the units. Some of the pipes burst.” Bucky called out again. They were met with another long silence before the door lock clicked and slid out of place. Zemo peeked out behind the chain lock of the door.

Bucky gave minimal effort in kicking the door in. The chain snapped as if it were made of paper, pieces exploded everywhere as the door slammed Zemo backwards into the wall. His nose and head were bleeding now. He still tried to run but Sam was on him quickly knocking him to the ground.

You watched from the busted door frame as Sam pinned the man down. Bucky slapped some high tech looking cuffs on the man and pulled him to his feet. As they passed by Zemo gave you a quizzical look. It wasn’t out of place. You were the one in a situation you should of never been in. Unsure of what to do you followed them as they moved Zemo down the stairs.

They went down past the lobby and headed towards the floor that led to the parking garage. The car was red and fast, leaving minimal space in the back seat. Bucky stood holding onto Zemo looking at you and then at the back seat. Sam rolled his eyes gesturing that the obvious answer was to ditch you. Bucky figured out his own plan and unlocked the car. clicking the trunk open. Zemo tried to resist but Bucky easily shoved him into the trunk. 

Zemo’s complaints were muffled through the car yet the still echoed in the concrete garage. Bucky escorted you to the back seat while Sam gave him the death glare. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“Waiting to leave.” Bucky shrugged tossing Sam the keys before ducking into the drivers seat. 

“Where do you live?” Sam asked being done with the whole situation he was eager to get rid of you, so he could go home and be alone. 

“Oh, I live-” 

“She’s coming with us.” Bucky intervened knowing that you lived in the building that they had just plucked Zemo from. Sam let out a big sigh pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“You live on the upper floor of this apartment complex don’t you?” You said nothing and remained seated in the back.

“Fuck it!” Sam said throwing his hands in the air before he started the car and slid into reverse. 

“She’s your responsibility.” Sam warned Bucky he was not going to be liable for anything that happened to you. 

“She’s not a cat.” 

“Well you sure are treating her like one.”

“It’s just us at the Avengers complex we could use another person there.” 

“I kind of wish I was the only one there.” Sam and Bucky continued to fight like a married couple. You watched amused from the back having more fun than you thought you would going on this little adventure. 

The drive was long as you went from one side of New York out to the more rural part of New York. At some point you had dozed off in the back seat. You woke to Bucky gently shaking you awake from the open door. 

“We’re here doll.” You clumsily stepped out of the car, taking the hand that Bucky had offered you. 

The place was more stunning than you could have ever imagined. Never in your life had you seen such a high tech and expensive place. The design of the whole building was unique with the large Avengers symbol in front and a huge helicopter pad to your right. 

“We have to take Zemo somewhere. we will be back.” Bucky lead you into the building.

Bucky started to head back out. Thats when you realized you were standing in the middle of the Avenger’s living room. You sat down on the couch taking a deep breath in. How many times had they all sat here, laughing and talking. Did they watch movies or shows together? What is a show they would of all agreed on?

Silence filled the air and the place seemed unbelievably large. It would definitely be easy to get lost. You thought about how sad it might be for Bucky and Sam. Everyone they used to live with her was now gone. You heard the stories about Captain America, Ironman and Black widow. The thought of them all not being here now set a deepness in your heart.

You wondered where Wanda was, it would of made sense if she stayed here with them. Either way you wanted to take full advantage of being a guest here while it lasted. You decided to explore respectfully. Setting up simple rules for yourself. No searching any bedrooms and don’t touch anything in the labs, just look. That is if you could get in most places.

You had so many questions yet you didn’t want to bring up anything that would be a sensitive subject for Bucky or Sam.

[nightswithkookmin]

Hii, me again. 😅

Jungkook made a three syllable poem with "min yoongi" name. At the last name of "Gi" He made yoonmin. Is he try to expose that yoonmin is a thing/ or real??

Ahjumma.... why are you being like this?

What did I do to deserve this ghettory?😟 It's too early in the year to be this ghetto uno.

Don't be like that😒

You are asking me, Goldy- GOLDY of all shippers, if I think JEON JUNGKOOK is confirming his boyfriend of seven years and counting is in a relationship with another member within the same group...

Doing what exactly in that relationship??

Is JK cockholding? What's going on.

KWENCHANAYO?!

You think BTS will survive two members dating the same guy in the same group???

Never mind that it's Jeon Jungkook and Park freaking Jimin- Mr I'm greedy and Mr I don't share my friends.

Like make it make sense to me please😭

After everything we've been said on my blogs for months now, you still asking me this??

You are bold, I'll give you that.

Now tell me slowly and in coherent words why I shouldn't pull your hair and give you three quick punches to your throat- ninja style👀

Someone get her before I snap their neck💀

For the last time-

NEITHER 🤺OF🤺JIKOOK🤺 IS 🤺 WAS🤺 HAS🤺 HAD🤺 PURPORTS TO HAVE🤺 WOULD HAVE HAD🤺 COULD HAD HAD🤺 HAD HAD HAD🤺IS HAVING 🤺 ANY 🤺ROMANTIC🤺 FEELINGS🤺WHATSOEVER 🤺 DESIRE🤺CRAVING🤺 WET DREAMS🤺 YEARNING🤺 PASSION🤺ATTRACTION🤺 AMOROUS 🤺INTENT🤺TOWARDS🤺 ANY🤺🤺MEMBER🤺 IN🤺 BTS🤺BESIDES🤺 EACH🤺 OTHER🤺

GET🤺 OUT 🤺OF🤺 YOUR🤺 IMAGINATION🤺

If you are new to the shipping community I suggest you familiarize yourself with every ships dynamics or at least Jikooks- if multishipping isn't exactly your thing.

Jikook's entire dynamics is founded on JK teasing JM to death. It's their thing.

He's said he enjoys teasing Jimin because he loves Jimin's reaction to when he's being teased. In fact, the entire group have said same about Jimin.

Did you see JM's reaction to when JK called out the Yoonmin comment in the dynamite reaction VLive?

Did you see RMs reaction too?

He is trying Jimin with these Yoonmin jokes. He's gonna get stabbed. Lmho.

Jimin reacts strongly to when JK in particular teases him with ships, Yoonmin more recently. Yet he didn't seem to mind when V did it.

V used to be the biggest Yoonminer on the planet rooting for and encouraging certain interactions between Yoonmin. Lmho.

Jimin himself perpetuates Yoonmin as a ship.

It would be an insult on his intelligence for anyone to assume he didn't know exactly why people ship two people together or what interactions and moments is considered a moment in shipping sphere.

Statements like, why can't Suga hyung look me in the eye, why does he say I'm irreplaceable to him, insinuates something and he knows this.

Once upon a time, JK couldn't look you in the eyes too. Still can't sometimes.

Jimin has a presence and he has a hold on these men and he knows it.

He goes out of his way to create the impression he and Suga have a very close bond and dynamic- I'm sold on it. Lol.

'5 Jms? As expected. You'll fall in love with them' not sure if JM said the last bit in the BE.TS Vlive, yall check for me.

It's crazy then that he turns around to react the way he does when JK teases him with his ship with Suga.

It seems to me, Jimin knows the intent and energy behind such seemingly harmless jokes- JK can be petty and passive aggressive with these things. You'd think he is joking but deep down he would be pouting and throwing tantrums behind cams🤧

It's Jimin apologizing and looking like his spirit left his body as he sat on the edge of JK's bed in the new Jersey VLive for me.

He needs to free Jimin.

Talk of things I'm getting too old for- Let's talk about why he posted his version of the bridge in disease online🤧

Not to say he shouldn't have posted it. I support that he did wholeheartedly. Deadass found his groove since he started unbuttoning the front of his shirts in 2020.

He's reclaiming the spotlight, putting himself at the forefront unlike before where he'd resigned himself to a supportive role watching his hyungs be at the center of things.

Now he's been talking about that he wants have sexy dance performances like Jimin, write rap melodies for RM, share his own music, try on a solo career one day- we get it. You found yourself Mr I'm independent asserting myself yall better fuxk off but chilee not at the expense of Jimin! 🤺

I mean it's a broad spotlight and they both can share it but damn is someone changing drastically. Not sure if I should be proud or terrified.

It's great and amazing and I'm really truly happy with where he's at mentally and physically since 2020- it's a great sign, don't get me wrong. Significant improvement. His becoming is long over due but he didn't have to grab the spotlight from Jimin like that.

Jk vs JM isn't something I'm a fan of.

It's a shame it didn't work out? What do you mean JK. I'm sorry but Jimin's version is amazing too!😟

What the actual hell JK😭

Back it up. This is not how to Jikook🤺

On guard sir🤺 on guard🤺

Dude did Jimin dirty🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

I need a refund😭😭😭😭

Here I was waiting for y'all to get on your Jikook agenda and post that first Jikook selca of the year and you are there shipping Jimin with your bandmate and thiefing his shine. Who taught you that?!😥

Y'all are competitive but y'all don't compete with eachother's shine! JIKOOK 101😭😭😭

You share it😥

Show me where in the books this new development falls under. Show me

You winging it and it's unconstitutional😟

I rebuke it in Jesus name!

Someone beam me up.

You got these 13 year olds coming in my DMs telling me you are not supportive of your man's career.

I don't have time for this shit.

SOMEONE BEAM ME UP! Kirk!

If you've watched their Be behind video, and you've seen Jin talk about how RM complained to him when Tae chose Suga's version over his version you'd know where JK is coming from or where I think he is coming from having JMs version chosen over his.

Watch their Be self interview on yt too.

He said there's a melody he worked on for RM and when Jhope thought he got snubbed he recommended he release it instead- to quench his artistic drive perhaps.

That is why he released this song. He did it for himself. Like he said, he won't put out a song unless he was confident about it.

Suga have said time and again how the music and melodies they create never go to waste because they can repurpose it like he did with Telepathy I think.

Even JK explained he was reserving the melody he made for RM for a future group song.

He could have repurposed this or something.

When Jin talked about V vs JM's Christmas song and kept repeating how much he preferred Jimin's song to Tae's because Jimin"s was bright and upbeat, he made sure to clarify he wasn't implying Tae's song was bad. He was just indicating preference.

I won't lie, I was happy he preferred my bias's song but it made my VMin heart ache a little.

V and JM made very different songs, they shouldn't be compared to eachother in that way.

I don't like competitions. And I don't like when two artists are pit against eachother- which is exactly what these two versions of the bridge is doing out here.

I will literally die if in an interview JM is asked about his part and JK isn't. I can't do this😭

Those saying JM's is better make me sick, and those saying JK's is better make me nauseous. They both great. Point blank purr.

What's even more heartbreaking is hearing how excited he really was to share that bit with Army. Dude's eyes was glistening and everything. His bunny smile! 😥

Thats what makes this very hard for me.

The JJK in me is overjoyed and excited that he is doing things that make him really happy. I'm proud of him.

But the PJM in me just😕

I even feel more guilty that I prefer JM's version this time around😭😭😭😭

I feel like I'm betraying JK🤧

I was so happy seeing JM recieve all the love and attention I know he deserves.

Then here comes his boyfriend

'Hold up what about me!' Lol.

Imagine if RM releases the version of Blue and grey he made for Tae and it turns out we prefer that to the version Tae chose💀

Imagine that.

This has been a recurring theme throughout late 2020 to date. Jk's been choosing authenticity and self interests and passions over anything else and I couldn't be more happy for him.

Like we discussed, he's been learning to compromise too lately, which is great.

But honey this is a red flag. Deadass.

To me anyways😏

I've been a strong advocate for a certain level of independence and detachment in Jikook's dynamics because they lowkey exhibited codependency tendencies in their dynamics which is great for us shippers but not so great in the long run for their relationship or them as individuals .

Maybe I'm thinking out loud and prematurely here. I mean we are only beginning to have intimate access to their raw unscripted selves.

I don't think it's not that much of a big deal. RM and JM have equally shared their own versions of fake love on the internet but it is an interesting development in their dynamic to me.

I remember how happy JM was about his version of fake love, and it remains to date one of my favorite beats even though he was just spewing nonsense on that track. Lol.

He was so excited when he shared it with JK and Jin. He said when he showed it to JK the first time, JK said he loved it very much- how loving and supportive is that!

More of this please. Thank you.

PMS is a bitch y'all🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Has me in my feels about this.

I'm pretty sure JM is the one that even encouraged him to share his part in the first place. Won't put it past him.

'Ya Jungkook, release your version too'

'Army will love it'

'Right but I don't want it to seem like- Goldy is crazy you know'

'Goldy who now?'

'What about the thirteen year old fans-'

'Aht aht aht Who cares about them.'

Lmho.

I mentioned a few times on here how I felt JM seemed to have been demanding 'space' and a little bit of breathing room in their dynamic which was causing a little bit of tension here and there middle 2019 through to March last year and it all sounds like drama and speculation but...

May be if I told y'all I am a witch and my analysis of their relationship is based on mediums, phantom whisperers, empathetic readings or tarot cards y'all will leave me alone?🤥

Y'all don't seem to have a problem with the witches and empaths who be doing the same shit I do out here😒

Like we are all 'reading' these mens!

There's nothing wrong with 'psychoanalytically' evaluating a ship you know? Chilee.

Imma call myself a witch if it will get y'all off my back😹😹😹😹

I mentioned JK equally embarking on his own journey to assert himself within the group and within the relationship due to this?

But damn I did not see this one coming.

This is a red flag for me. And no, it doesn't mean they are broken up or having issues in their relationship.

Jk's TMI indicates they still been spending a lot of time together.

This is just a sign there's too much independence in their dynamic now- if you know what I mean.

Relationships flourish based on how attached we are to people- too much attachment is a problem, too little attachment is equally bad.

Jikook have always had a problem with over attachment in their dynamics in my opinion, to the point it was lowkey unhealthy- the jealousy, not being able to 'act professionally' within a group and work environment, having problems with being separated however briefly, constantly wanting to be where the other is etc.

Less attachment isnt necessarily a bad thing either. It means less of all the 'toxic' aspects of their relationship that over attachment brings but too much of that too can trigger anxiousness and insecurity and resentment.

Especially if one of them hates change. Cough Jimin.

With that comes all the wild aspects of love such as possessiveness, jealousy and I know JM doesn't do too well in that department...

In my opinion, I see JM as having a problem when JK breathes down his neck emotionally speaking, and at the same time he has a problem when he is too emotionally distant.

All this is interesting to me.

Who do I need to talk to to give me more of Jikook interactions individually or jointly?

I want to see more of their interactions beyond the overly staged, dramatized fanservice and official content.

Spending a lot of time around eachother and eating each other's ramen- pun intended, does not reflect on how intimate you are.

Intimacy requires depth and depth requires attachment.

How you treat eachother's needs and goals, dreams and desires is equally indicative of the intimacy in your relationship.

That has always been one distinctive quality of Jikook's ship.

And so I wonder the thought process that went into this decision. I know JM wouldn't object to JK sharing things like these or doing things that make him happy even if it has the potential to impact his own shine in any way.

Jikook don't compete against eachother.

I keep saying this.

Remember when I said I found it sus that JK was lying there staring at JM with his hands in between his legs?

Did yall see what the run editors said when JM and JK went up against each in the pool?

'Jikook don't play by the rules'

Jimin had to push JK in the water to end whatever ancient sex ritual foreplay rooted in kamasutra they had going on. Bless him.

And in so doing, he lost to JK.

Whenever they go up against eachother, one of them intentionally lose even though they are both very competitive.

Isn't that why JK said he'd rather 5 Jms so he can watch them compete against eachother?

When JK first made that post, I felt it was out of pettiness or a move to 'humble' JM.

I thought of when he'd posted that photo of himself with a hickey after JM had 'dated' him during the JinMinKook live.

I rolled my eyes and asked, 'what yall gays up to this time?' Why you out here humbling your man?

Anywho chilee we will never know.

At ease.

Signed,

GOLDY

[ibitchytimemachine]

Chapters: 53/? Fandom: Dragon Ball Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con Summary:

With Earth destroyed, Bulma and the Z gang find themselves in an outer space guerilla war against a tyrant. The mysterious Vengeance seems to be the only hope to win the war against Frieza, but teaming up with him brings its own set of problems.

 AU, ensemble cast but with focus on BV. Several other pairings (m/F and m/m) and non-romantic relationships get significant screen time.

While Vengeance often appears to be a light-hearted, funny story, there are darker elements running through several storylines. Warnings of non-con are for isolated incidents and don't reflect the story as a whole, but explicit descriptions of sex, violence, and general depravity are contained within these chapters.

Of all the Vegebul fics I have read, this one is easily my favorite. It has nuance, gives (almost) every character full and rich motivations and story lines. You find yourself rooting for the oddest pairs and weirdest people. I can not recommend this story enough, and if you wanna read my thoughts on it, lets dive into spoilers below the cut! 

So this story has something for everyone. You want thick well thought out and executed plot? DONE! Humor? DONE! Large cast of characters, both canon and OC who are all pretty well flushed out? DONE! Smut? Name your poison, chances are, its in here. There is so much about this story that I love that I am struggling with exactly the best way to organize my thoughts. So instead of agonizing over it, instead I am just gonna throw away all my careful notes that I have taken during my read and just freaking ramble! 

I think the first thing that people are a little put off on is the rare pair of RaditzXPuar. I will tell you that I 5,000 percent ship these two and it is all because of reading this fic. I love it so much that I MAY have even taken some time to draw my own fan art for the pair, but lets just leave THAT in the vaults xD When Raditz first encounters Puar, he is NOT a cat. Puar is in a Human form and is shifted to be Bulma. Raditz immediately is attracted to Puar’s scent and when they later encounter each other in a bar and end up ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) Ray is still just enamored by Puar’s scent. Whenever we see Rays POV in-between the time that Ray has fucked Human Puar, and the time that Puar is discovered, Ray keeps catching scents of the cat. And it drives him fucking wild. He later says that he is so crazy for Puar that he was about to fuck a houseplant cause it reminded him of Puar. Beyond that we get the backstory on Bonding and that basically Saiyans bond to a mate kinda at random so Ray has basically taken Puar as his husband. Raditz is really a great lover, there is a relationship imbalance between the two, but Ray doesnt take advantage of it. Its really a pretty healthy relationship. Puar gets jealous of some stuff, Ray gets WAY jealous of stuff but they always seem to talk it over. Shit at one point Ray dreams of having kids with Puar, and he is swiftly reminded that Puar is a MAN and will never be and never wants to be a WOMAN. 

A huge part of me feels like this Puarditz pairing is commentary on identity, self acceptance and love. Ray is constantly telling Puar that he doesnt care what his body looks like (except that he is excited to see Puar has a tail), only that it is Puar that he is in love with. It is only Puar Ray wants, no matter if he is a human, cat, plant, screwdriver or anything else. Puar talks about how he feels weird in his cat body, but it is his natural form and he wants to change and be bigger, more menacing, or just different. And I think we can all appreciate that sentiment at some point in our lives, but I can also see this as a low key message about trans acceptance and its fucking beautiful. Hell even Bulma tells Puar that he should take whatever form he is most comfortable in and basically fuck everyone who disagrees. I love that message and I love this pair - fight me. 

I really want to talk about another pretty complex character in this fic, Zarbon. He struggles with so much shame and negativity in this story. He hides behind his good looks and his hair, and when that shit gets cut off, Zarbon is a completely different man, it is shedding his old evil skin and literally growing into his own as a new man, a better person, and you start to care about him. His time with Frieza has basically ruined his ability to have any sort of healthy relationship - friend or other, because he resorts to sex for just about any close relationship he has. The FIRST person he meets after being rescued from Frieza, he starts bedding. Hell he promises a pity fuck to Burter for rescuing him, and come on.. I have never wanted a Burger sex scene more than when I was reading this fic. No really... Catgirl has a way of making you root for just about everyone... I think  that besides the slavers, the only character I HATE is Frieza, and thats pretty cool. AND Speaking of Frieza, shit hes a bad dude in this story. There aren't many POVs of him, and we see a lot of Frieza through Zarbon, Vegeta and Burter, but the POVs after Zarbon escapes and Frieza is trying to replace him is she fucked up shit. You really see his madness when he is sitting in the bloody tub stroking the hair of the dead attendant wishing it was Zarbons. He repeatedly states how much he gave to Zarbon, and how he basically loved him, but then you see him torture the poor man, sexually assault him, and generally just be a complete tyrannical asshole to him. 

The way the Nameks are handled is really cool. I love the nod to canon with them living with the Briefs on Red Station, I love watching Dende figure out how to lead, and struggle with his followers. I love how he makes the decision to room with Gohan as a way of bridging the gap between the Namekians and the Saiyans. The decisions Dende makes shows that he is dedicated to moving forward and not being stuck in the past. But you see him still struggling with things in the past, Zarbon for example. it is hella tense for a while when he first comes aboard because Dende feels Zarbon is responsible for the demise of his people, and Dende seeks out others help and advice on how to manage his feelings. He gets several peoples views and chooses what he thinks is the best, just like a good leader would. He even attempts to make Piccolo feel more welcome in the Namekian contingent of beings on Red Station.

Nappa is a super important character for the beginning of the story. He is the voice of Saiyan past and he advises Vegeta, wether he takes the advice or not. Overall he is the Father figure Vegeta needs (a common role for him) but he tells Vegeta and Raditz about bonding and Gohan comments that it sounds like LOVE. Nappa has some really shitty moments with Bulma, but overall I really like the sweet peeks into his head, when he thinks about his dead wife and babies, or when he tears up about the thought of Bulma and Vegeta having “little princes” of their own, is just heartwarming. And the attraction to Momma Briefs is cute and funny and provides so much ammunition for Bulma to hate Nappa (and boy do they hate each other)

I kinda hate how K18 gets treated in this story, and part of that is how long it takes for 18 to come about, and another part of that is the fact that the story isn't finished. I feel like 18′s android qualities are REALLY played up, which isn't a bad thing - great characterization in fact... but poor Krillin deserves so much better than being mounted with no foreplay and then immediately being engaged... Now I will say that I really like both of these characters in this fic, just wish things were finished cause their relationship has so much more to explore. 

I have both love and hate the Vegebul relationship dynamics in this story. They obviously care for one another, but the relationship seems super unhealthy... there is really no talking, relationship building going on in story. a LOT of fucking sure, but it almost feels like these two banter, fuck but don't really know one another.. and thats kinda sad.. I like that part of a Vegebul fic. Bulma is legit scared of Vegeta on multiple occasions and even in the last published chapter Vegeta looks at her and thinks that she is a monster just like him. And hell with her improvements to the Ki Circlet, she probably is. I will say that their smut is A++ fantastic, it is real, sometimes it is awkward (when they fuck in her lab it is both hot and funny) and there is always a mention of safe sex. 

With all the time spent on, pretty much everyone, including 2 OCs, it is sad that 17, Dr. Briefs and Tien don't get a little more love. They have very very brief scenes peppered throughout the story, and they just seem like after thoughts.. Shit Roshi and Oolong have more impact on the story than any of these three do and thats just a bummer. I am gonna say that maybe they have parts in the unwritten bots of the fic, but who knows if it will ever be updated, much less finished at this point. 

This story is fantastic. I can not recommend it enough. The relationship dynamics alone are fantastic, never mind the fact that Catgirl is FUCKING FANTASTIC at showing not telling, but even when she tells it is impactful. She has a wonderful grasp of character voice and each POV feels like it is actually that characters POV, told through them, not through the lens of a narrator. There are some amazing quotes in this story, some are just funny, 

Others.. Not so much.... 

These are a bunch of misfits thrown together, fighting to survive, and ultimately building a home. Hell Zarbon sees it and is shocked by it.. He says he is amazed by Vegeta “Floating around this country cottage of a ship, lord and master of an assortment of weaklings.” And Zarbon is right. Vegeta is the lord and master of this rag tag crew, and Bulma is their Queen. Their relationship is the glue that holds this little family together. This story is a tale of their struggle to defeat Frieza, but thats not what this story is ABOUT. This story is about, family, friends, love, home and ultimately all the wholesome things humanity has to offer. Sometimes we fuck up, and fight and create drama, but we persevere through those trials and (hopefully) become stronger, more well rounded and more human. And that is a really nice message. 

As a bonus, @rutbisbe drew this amazing Puar/Raditz fan art for this fic and I love it (AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH)

If you liked this review, after you check this fic out, head over to my A03 and read some of my stuff!

[lostandbrokenshell]

Darkest Before Dawn Part 3

Farcry 5 fanfic. Rated M for Mature language and sexual reference. No pairing or plans for smutt.

“I thought you where dead” Whitehorse said in disbelief “The boys told me you came after us, then we heard that John shot the marshal off the bridge with a deputy.. We thought it was you”

“It was me, but survived surprisingly, thanks to ornery old man. That was John flying? Damn.” So far John has rolled out a nice welcome mat you think to yourself.

“Hi Sheriff.” Sharky said from behind you “Please dont arest me, we should focus on the peggie problem seems more of a priority right now.”

“It is Mr. Boshaw.” The Sheriff said with a small nod.

“Oh ya found him! But hes kind of my current BFF, slightly due to lack of knowing people slightly because he has a home made flamethrower.” The Sheriff sighed deeply.

“We can work it all out later. When this peggie business is delt with currently, i have to captured deputies, a captured marshal. Two back stabing peggie bastard deputies that ran off and not enough resources. Fucking Nancy.”

“Well your shiny rookie, is less shiny but willing to help. What did Nancy do? Marshal dude made the same comment.”

“She uncuffed Joseph and helped crash the helicopter so he could escape. Shes the reasons my deputies are captured right now.”

“Never liked Nacy, she was always bitchy and full of her self.” Sharky commented with a nod.

“Sheriff” some one yelled as the ran into the building

“What now Tracy?” He asked with a defeated sigh.

“Cults going into high drive in Johns region apparently their sisters back.”

“Ya but shes cool, shes with us and all.” Sharky said with a big smile. Every one stopped and looked at Sharky.

“In what world is a Seed cool?” She asked angerly.

“I haven’t been a Seed for years, ive been Knight way more years than Seed, i also didn’t know my brothers where crazy. I lived in Canada most of my life. And thought i would surprise my self with my new town and long lost brothers. And that went over well like gas in a firehose, so there is that.” You say awkwardly the Sheriff looked at you in disbelief and put his head in his hands.

“Im to fucking old for this, i wanted to retire why didn’t I retire?” Everyone in was silent and still watching it felt like the bar all over again. “You didn’t know your brothers where running a cult when you moved here?” He asked as he looked up at you.

“No, ive only ever got letters from Joseph who only said they had a church. Our dad was religious so it seemed right. I moved here to start a new life because i felt there was opportunity.” You state firmly. “You seen my qualifications, my training what i did before i came here and how long i was there. You think I moved here just to participate in a war with cult. If i was on their side why would I come here?”

“I don’t believe her, Seeds lie.” Tracy said angry.

“Knight.” Sharky cut in “My girl says shes not one of them I believe her. Shes no narc thats for sure.”

“You’ve known her for what a day sharky?” Tracy asked.

“A couple of days, the first time we met she didn’t even narc me out, she pushed the peggies out of falls end. I mean John almost blew her up when she ran to provide backup for a situation she knew nothing about. Your going to say shes one of them? Nah shes good shit in my book.”

“Says the guy who sets books on fires.” Tracy replied

“Enough! Ive heard enough and no, i dont believe shes with the Seeds. Her whole work career up to becomeing a deputy has been saving lives” The Sheriff cut in.

“Doing what?” Tracy laughed

“Paramedic, volunteer firefighter before that. Volunteering is what made me want to be a paramedic actually. No fucking clue why I wholeheartedly decided on law enforcement now though.” You reply.

Tracy stood there silently for a moment. “Theres some men over here hurt, think you can help?” She asked quietly.

“I can do what i can.” You reply with a nod.It was all small things with the hurt men easily enough to patch up and treat Tracy helped you she was smart so it made it easy help.

“I was a part of it at one point, Edens gate.” Tracy said after you both finished. “I left when I realized the bull shit. The rules aplied to everyone but the family. Thats how i knew it was crap. So i left.” She looked at you, you got the impression shes still reading you for everything you have. “Joseph always said it would start with your return.”

“I didn’t even tell him i was coming here. I wasn’t planing on it for a week or two. I was hoping being a rookie I would hang around here more before hitting the streets.” You say as you wave to the station around you. “I was hoping for a normal religious family, praising Jesus, no premarital sex maybe stern views on drinking. That kind of shit. Not Waco militant lets occupy a town religious.”

“Family.” Tracy said with a small smile and laugh.

“Right? Hell of a welcome wagon. Theres got to be more that needs done? I mean theres a war raging if John has Hudson who does Faith have?” You ask

“Burk, the marshal.” Tracy replied

“Damn i liked him the least. That means Jacob has Pratt? How the hell do we get any of them back? Let alone deal with this mess.” You sigh as you sit on the floor and put you back to the wall.

“Well at least i dont know Faith. So i might, you know on her door and nicely ask for the mashal back? Think that will work?” You ask Tracy who seemed surprised for a second then realized your humour and laughed.

“She’s going to drug you so hard.” Tracy said with a laugh. “Thats her thing, she uses bliss. It messes with your head you see thngs, to much of it makes you crazy and loopy. Theres no come back from that their called Angels when they reach that stage. Dont let her get to your head shes full of lies.”

“Seriously she drugs you? Thats messed up, i kind of remember ornery old guy mention it though.” You say.

“Ornery old guy?” Tracy asked.

“Yeah, Dutch i think his name was.” You say. Tracy nodded.

“We going to go beat up some peggies or what?” Sharky asked “The hurt people are all patched up now right?”

“Just figuring out the next where to.” You say.

“Why dont we go get my cousin Hurk! Hes got a rocket launcher, tapped bombs to monkeys once. He’s really dope dep. Hes like the best party buddy!” Sharky said while doing a dance “I promise hes good shit dep!”

“Hurks a stupider version of Sharky” Tracy said and Sharky looked offended at the statement.

“Ya, but he had me a rocket launcher and hit gold with the monkeys. Lifes shit right now might as well keep good company.” You reply and Sharky busted out the dance moves in excitement.

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

Hello everyone. I would like to thank my loyal followers for questioning my whereabouts on Twitter. I was actually on vacation, because Im not poor. Sorry, but watching these morons was just not a fucking option. I was zen AF and I dont need Carolinas crocodile tears ruining it, k thx.

ANYWAYS, so onto the episode. It was kind of eh, Im going to be honest. If youre looking for another reason to be annoyed by Giannas existence though, then it def delivered.

AFTER THE MATCH CEREMONY

They are all pumped about getting four beams. In fact, if you took a shot for every time someone said four fucking beams youd need to get stomach pumped four fucking times.

Tyranny is like Ossssssssssssssssvaldo is my match. Honestly can we just cut the accent though? Hes from Chicago for gods sake, not Italy.

Oswaldo is not so sure. Hes like she could be my match! Or she isnt! Yeah, thats pretty much how life works, actually.

Also, can we acknowledge the giant-ass drink Tee has the whole time? That cup is actually my favorite cast member this season.

Carolina and Hayden start having a pillow fight because FOUR FUCKING BEAMS, AMIRIGHT?

Now Carolina is very suddenly into Hayden. Carolinas emotions give me whiplash. Betsy DeVos nomination was more certain than this bitch.

Gianna is like “OH NO. NOT TODAY. I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTHSIDE FOR THIS.” Shes like I’M GOING TO CONTINUE TO PURSUE THIS MAN WHO TREATS ME SO WELL. Even though they are a confirmed no match. Makes total sense.

So you unfriend-zoned him to cock block him? Seems v fair. So when you go to sleep, do you leave Haydens balls under your pillow or on your nightstand? Let me know.

*Starts Twitter Poll* Is Gianna hot? Yes or No?

Tyler apologizes to Taylor and is like “I have no excuse for being the ‘big bad wolf’ in this.” So youre eating peoples grandmas now? Very Hannibal Lecter-chic. Not sure Tyler understands that hes referencing a fairytale, but hes pretty so well overlook it.

Hes like these girls are all over me wah, life is hard.

TAYLOR: Im mad *looks at Tylers beautiful face* but Im not like, thatttt mad

Hes like Im not that guy, you know that! Shes like,

TYLER: I want to dump Shannon and date you

EVERYONE AT HOME:

Gianna goes to have a talk with Hayden, which she announces for everyone to know. Shes from the Midwest, okay? Shes not used to this whole having brains thing, cut her some slack!

GIANNA: HEY CAMERA GUY IM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HAYDEN ALSO GIANNA: were very low-key shhhh

Little Mike is like this is bullshit, they are not a match, they need to stop and its like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

GIANNA: I dont want to stop you from doing something but stop fucking doing it. (Im not even making that up, thats an exact quote) HAYDEN: But I need to play the game GIANNA: Did I fucking stutter

So Hayden has relocated from friendzone island to being a little bitch island. Need a house warming gift, Hayden? Ill get you crowbar so you can pull your head out of your ass. Youre welcome.

Gianna and Hayden have sex, giving life to the newest Trump supporter Im sure. Carolina sees all of this and is like wtffffff. Shes like, totally in love with Hayden! Like, they spoke for a whole 10 minutes. Didnt that mean anything to him?

Andre is like “IF THEY FUCK THIS UP IM GOING TO BE PISSED” and Im like do it. Get mad. You wont. No balls.

Honestly, Gianna could probs take Andre in a fight. That girl should be a fuckin prison warden.

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge this week is for the dudes. The guys have to spin themselves and then go through an obstacle course. Then they have to shoot a basketball into the hoop of the girl they want to date. The person who shoots the third basketball in the hoop wins the date.

challenges sound like the hazing the gay frats do. Its all v weak.

The guys start the game and are falling all over the place. *plays Ed Sheeran*

Hayden is like, fuck it. Fuck this game. Idfc anymore, Im here for Gianna.

HAYDEN:I love Gianna

ME:

He decides to help Oswaldo win a date with Tee. See heres the thingI like Hayden, but I also think hes being very dumb. Its a hard spot for me rn. Really struggling.

Tee being proud of Oswaldo for winning is like Trump being proud of winning president. We all know he couldnt have won without Hayden/Russia.

Derrick and Joey are trying to win Rush Boobss date. Derrick wants to win because fuck Joey. Theyre shooting for legit five minutes. Seriously, Ive seen better shots from . When is the last time you played basketball? Third grade? Derricks like I played division I basketball! which sounds like an alternative fact to me.

Joey wins. So its Osvaldo/Tee and Joey/Rush Boobs.

Ryan tells them they are going to trapeze and Tee is like Im black, I shouldnt be in the air. How did you get to the Dominican Republic? Drive? Horseback? I didnt know your skin color made you less aerodynamic. I just saw and honestly, Im a fucking scientist now.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Lets all agree that Tee is low-key alcoholic. Shes constantly sipping from that big-ass cup and it seems like they have a good connection. Could that be her match?

Eddie is talking to Alicia about how he is poor and shes like “LOL not me, cant relate to you peasant.” Eddie, you need to get your ass over to Kam where you fucking belong. Know your fucking place. Do not fuck this up for me, Eddie.

Tyler is trying to break up with Shannon and it is a train fucking wreck. Hes like I need to do the right thing and leave you. He actually stole the whole speech from Gabriella in .

REAL PICTURE OF TYLER:

Shannon is like “I feel dumb.” And she should, because she just got played. I feel bad for Shannon. Her voice makes me want to take a waltz off a bridge, but I do feel things, kind of.

Tylers like I didnt realize girls have feelings and get mad when you treat them poorly. Thats like saying I didnt know when you light shit on fire, it gets hot.

Meanwhile, Tee is very much trying to date rape Osvaldo. Its creepy tbh. If a guy was doing that to a girl on this show I would be dialing 911 by now. Tee, knock it off, it’s super gross.

They go to the boom boom room and literally boom boom because they break something. Oswaldo, way to not hold your ground.

Kam is oiling Eddie up and being goofy. I needed this.

Shes like I know Alicia and Eddy have a good friendship, Im not getting territorial, because this is a game show. I LOVE YOU KAM, I AM STARTING YOUR FAN CLUB. Shes so rational. Everyone be like her please.

THE DATE

Oswaldo is like this date will take our relationship to the next level, even though it already has gone to the next level. *wink, wink* I remember when I lost my virginity. We get it, you had sex.

They go to the trapeze place and Oswaldo is like Hopefully I dont break my neck. Thats a pretty reasonable goal.

They all are like surprisingly good at this. Even Tee, whose blackness surprisingly does not hinder her capabilities. Its a miracle.

Oswaldo and Tee are like being lovey-dovey because they fucked that one time. Hes like shes not trying to rape me and I like this side of her. I too am a big fan of the people who dont try and sexually assault me. Weird.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Ryan comes in hot and asks about the no matches, aka Gianna and Hayden, still hooking up.

Giannas like HOW IS THIS OUR FAULT??? Uh, youre a confirmed no match and youre hooking up. I feel like Im taking crazy pills. Leave the dumb shit to Rush Boobs, please god.

The house is like, “ugh we hate you, lets just get this shit over with.” Thats how I felt with pledges in my sorority.

Tyranny and Oswaldo go to the truth booth because duh.

OSWALDO: Im excited to learn if were a match and really connect on a deeper level. TEE: Im tryna fuck.

Im stressed because Tee will def die of alcohol poisoning tonight if this doesnt work out. And what do you know, NO MATCH.

Tee was like I was falling in love with him. Shes crying. Hes crying. This is depressing. Did I accidentally sit on the remote and turn on ?

Oswaldo starts boxing while Andre is talking him down and all the guys hug him. Wow, I love the bromance. What I love more is that eventually one of them will try and fight another. #Drama

After everything, Tyler and Shannon are still hanging out. Whats Tylers favorite thing about Shannon? She isnt Taylor. Hes got high standards, ya know? #FourFuckingBeams

Taylor is like youre fucked up. And hes like why, because Im having a conversation?

Ugh Taylor, this paaaaains me to say, because I usually automatically side with the hot girl, but hes low-key right. You need to chill out and move on. Hes not worth it, dude. Hes just not.

Andre asks Taylor wtf shes doing with Tyler and Im like YAS KEEP THIS UP.

Andre is like actually, we like each other, Taylor. And shes like wait, yeah we do. WTF is this Jedi mind control shit Andre has.

ANDRE: *swinging coin back and forth* you are getting very sleepy.. and youre going to fuck me TAYLOR: *eyes glazed* yes, master

He says that she should be a Victorias Secret Model and honestly she should marry him just for that. Like thats compliment of the goddam century.

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

Its the boys pick tonight. Please note that last time they blacked out harder than Tee does on any given weeknight.

Little Mike gets the ball rollin the wrong way and picks Kam.

Mikes like following our heart doesnt work. Hes like we should venture off, and though thats noble, maaaaaaybe not at the match ceremony. Thats like Michael Phelps being like LOOK FREESTYLE JUST DOESNT WORK right before the 4×100 relay.

Ozzy picks Hannah.

Oswaldo is up next and hes like “I GOTTA DO ME.” He picks Taylor.

Ryan asks Taylor how she feels about Tyler and shes like whos Tyler? Andre and her give each other looks and Im like OKAY YES IM HERE FOR THIS SHIT.

Ryans like Andre, do you wish you were with her and hes like Im practicing my patience. Whatever the fuck that means.

Oswaldo is like standing next to her like, lol just fuck me, right?

Andre picks Casandra.

Eddy picks Alicia and is like this is my homie.

KAM: I AM NOT WORRIED. ARE YOU WORRIED, BECAUSE I AM NOT WORRIED!!! *twitches*

Joey picks Rush boobs.

Derrick picks Gianna. Weird.

Tylers up and fucking moseys up to the front. Goddam hes like a walking Shakespeare playtragically beautiful.

Hes like Ryan, let me speak and Ryans like I didnt even say anything, but ok.

Tyler goes off about how he was painted as the villain and how he is innocent and how all this Taylor shit is fake news and the failing lamestream media is spreading false rumors!!! Sad!

Ryan asks Tyler who he likes more, Shannon or Taylor and Tyler picks Shannon.

RYAN: Do you think Tyler is your match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is Taylor his match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is the world round? SHANNON: IDK

Tylers talking about his breakup with Taylor and is like it sucks because you cant delete people in the real world. This is the first thing that I agree with him on. Dont worry Tyler, Ive watched . Well get to that point someday.

Michael picks KARI. Is it Carrie or KAAAAAARI? I have been saying KAAAAARI. Please DM some confirmation.

Hayden is next. Hayden tells the group that him and Gianna are affecting the game and they are going to stop screwing everyone over.

Gianna is like “WTF. WHO TOLD HIM HE COULD SPEAK? WHO LET HIM OUT OF HIS CAGE?” He picks Carolina. Hehe.

Jaylen and Tee are last. Tee is really bummed about Oswaldo and Ryan is like, “bitch its week four.”

These couples are random AF but idk Im drunk and just here to shit talk. Dont give that much of a fuck.

No blackout, so thats good. They get four beams again. Cant wait to hear them talk about it incessantly.

Read more: http://betches.co/2kojpty

from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

[nbafunnymeme]

'Are You The One?' Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

Hello everyone. I would like to thank my loyal followers for questioning my whereabouts on Twitter. I was actually on vacation, because Im not poor. Sorry, but watching these morons was just not a fucking option. I was zen AF and I dont need Carolinas crocodile tears ruining it, k thx.

ANYWAYS, so onto the episode. It was kind of eh, Im going to be honest. If youre looking for another reason to be annoyed by Giannas existence though, then it def delivered.

AFTER THE MATCH CEREMONY

They are all pumped about getting four beams. In fact, if you took a shot for every time someone said four fucking beams youd need to get stomach pumped four fucking times.

Tyranny is like Ossssssssssssssssvaldo is my match. Honestly can we just cut the accent though? Hes from Chicago for gods sake, not Italy.

Oswaldo is not so sure. Hes like she could be my match! Or she isnt! Yeah, thats pretty much how life works, actually.

Also, can we acknowledge the giant-ass drink Tee has the whole time? That cup is actually my favorite cast member this season.

Carolina and Hayden start having a pillow fight because FOUR FUCKING BEAMS, AMIRIGHT?

Now Carolina is very suddenly into Hayden. Carolinas emotions give me whiplash. Betsy DeVos nomination was more certain than this bitch.

Gianna is like “OH NO. NOT TODAY. I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTHSIDE FOR THIS.” Shes like I’M GOING TO CONTINUE TO PURSUE THIS MAN WHO TREATS ME SO WELL. Even though they are a confirmed no match. Makes total sense.

So you unfriend-zoned him to cock block him? Seems v fair. So when you go to sleep, do you leave Haydens balls under your pillow or on your nightstand? Let me know.

*Starts Twitter Poll* Is Gianna hot? Yes or No?

Tyler apologizes to Taylor and is like “I have no excuse for being the ‘big bad wolf’ in this.” So youre eating peoples grandmas now? Very Hannibal Lecter-chic. Not sure Tyler understands that hes referencing a fairytale, but hes pretty so well overlook it.

Hes like these girls are all over me wah, life is hard.

TAYLOR: Im mad *looks at Tylers beautiful face* but Im not like, thatttt mad

Hes like Im not that guy, you know that! Shes like,

TYLER: I want to dump Shannon and date you

EVERYONE AT HOME:

Gianna goes to have a talk with Hayden, which she announces for everyone to know. Shes from the Midwest, okay? Shes not used to this whole having brains thing, cut her some slack!

GIANNA: HEY CAMERA GUY IM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HAYDEN ALSO GIANNA: were very low-key shhhh

Little Mike is like this is bullshit, they are not a match, they need to stop and its like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

GIANNA: I dont want to stop you from doing something but stop fucking doing it. (Im not even making that up, thats an exact quote) HAYDEN: But I need to play the game GIANNA: Did I fucking stutter

So Hayden has relocated from friendzone island to being a little bitch island. Need a house warming gift, Hayden? Ill get you crowbar so you can pull your head out of your ass. Youre welcome.

Gianna and Hayden have sex, giving life to the newest Trump supporter Im sure. Carolina sees all of this and is like wtffffff. Shes like, totally in love with Hayden! Like, they spoke for a whole 10 minutes. Didnt that mean anything to him?

Andre is like “IF THEY FUCK THIS UP IM GOING TO BE PISSED” and Im like do it. Get mad. You wont. No balls.

Honestly, Gianna could probs take Andre in a fight. That girl should be a fuckin prison warden.

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge this week is for the dudes. The guys have to spin themselves and then go through an obstacle course. Then they have to shoot a basketball into the hoop of the girl they want to date. The person who shoots the third basketball in the hoop wins the date.

challenges sound like the hazing the gay frats do. Its all v weak.

The guys start the game and are falling all over the place. *plays Ed Sheeran*

Hayden is like, fuck it. Fuck this game. Idfc anymore, Im here for Gianna.

HAYDEN:I love Gianna

ME:

He decides to help Oswaldo win a date with Tee. See heres the thingI like Hayden, but I also think hes being very dumb. Its a hard spot for me rn. Really struggling.

Tee being proud of Oswaldo for winning is like Trump being proud of winning president. We all know he couldnt have won without Hayden/Russia.

Derrick and Joey are trying to win Rush Boobss date. Derrick wants to win because fuck Joey. Theyre shooting for legit five minutes. Seriously, Ive seen better shots from . When is the last time you played basketball? Third grade? Derricks like I played division I basketball! which sounds like an alternative fact to me.

Joey wins. So its Osvaldo/Tee and Joey/Rush Boobs.

Ryan tells them they are going to trapeze and Tee is like Im black, I shouldnt be in the air. How did you get to the Dominican Republic? Drive? Horseback? I didnt know your skin color made you less aerodynamic. I just saw and honestly, Im a fucking scientist now.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Lets all agree that Tee is low-key alcoholic. Shes constantly sipping from that big-ass cup and it seems like they have a good connection. Could that be her match?

Eddie is talking to Alicia about how he is poor and shes like “LOL not me, cant relate to you peasant.” Eddie, you need to get your ass over to Kam where you fucking belong. Know your fucking place. Do not fuck this up for me, Eddie.

Tyler is trying to break up with Shannon and it is a train fucking wreck. Hes like I need to do the right thing and leave you. He actually stole the whole speech from Gabriella in .

REAL PICTURE OF TYLER:

Shannon is like “I feel dumb.” And she should, because she just got played. I feel bad for Shannon. Her voice makes me want to take a waltz off a bridge, but I do feel things, kind of.

Tylers like I didnt realize girls have feelings and get mad when you treat them poorly. Thats like saying I didnt know when you light shit on fire, it gets hot.

Meanwhile, Tee is very much trying to date rape Osvaldo. Its creepy tbh. If a guy was doing that to a girl on this show I would be dialing 911 by now. Tee, knock it off, it’s super gross.

They go to the boom boom room and literally boom boom because they break something. Oswaldo, way to not hold your ground.

Kam is oiling Eddie up and being goofy. I needed this.

Shes like I know Alicia and Eddy have a good friendship, Im not getting territorial, because this is a game show. I LOVE YOU KAM, I AM STARTING YOUR FAN CLUB. Shes so rational. Everyone be like her please.

THE DATE

Oswaldo is like this date will take our relationship to the next level, even though it already has gone to the next level. *wink, wink* I remember when I lost my virginity. We get it, you had sex.

They go to the trapeze place and Oswaldo is like Hopefully I dont break my neck. Thats a pretty reasonable goal.

They all are like surprisingly good at this. Even Tee, whose blackness surprisingly does not hinder her capabilities. Its a miracle.

Oswaldo and Tee are like being lovey-dovey because they fucked that one time. Hes like shes not trying to rape me and I like this side of her. I too am a big fan of the people who dont try and sexually assault me. Weird.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Ryan comes in hot and asks about the no matches, aka Gianna and Hayden, still hooking up.

Giannas like HOW IS THIS OUR FAULT??? Uh, youre a confirmed no match and youre hooking up. I feel like Im taking crazy pills. Leave the dumb shit to Rush Boobs, please god.

The house is like, “ugh we hate you, lets just get this shit over with.” Thats how I felt with pledges in my sorority.

Tyranny and Oswaldo go to the truth booth because duh.

OSWALDO: Im excited to learn if were a match and really connect on a deeper level. TEE: Im tryna fuck.

Im stressed because Tee will def die of alcohol poisoning tonight if this doesnt work out. And what do you know, NO MATCH.

Tee was like I was falling in love with him. Shes crying. Hes crying. This is depressing. Did I accidentally sit on the remote and turn on ?

Oswaldo starts boxing while Andre is talking him down and all the guys hug him. Wow, I love the bromance. What I love more is that eventually one of them will try and fight another. #Drama

After everything, Tyler and Shannon are still hanging out. Whats Tylers favorite thing about Shannon? She isnt Taylor. Hes got high standards, ya know? #FourFuckingBeams

Taylor is like youre fucked up. And hes like why, because Im having a conversation?

Ugh Taylor, this paaaaains me to say, because I usually automatically side with the hot girl, but hes low-key right. You need to chill out and move on. Hes not worth it, dude. Hes just not.

Andre asks Taylor wtf shes doing with Tyler and Im like YAS KEEP THIS UP.

Andre is like actually, we like each other, Taylor. And shes like wait, yeah we do. WTF is this Jedi mind control shit Andre has.

ANDRE: *swinging coin back and forth* you are getting very sleepy.. and youre going to fuck me TAYLOR: *eyes glazed* yes, master

He says that she should be a Victorias Secret Model and honestly she should marry him just for that. Like thats compliment of the goddam century.

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

Its the boys pick tonight. Please note that last time they blacked out harder than Tee does on any given weeknight.

Little Mike gets the ball rollin the wrong way and picks Kam.

Mikes like following our heart doesnt work. Hes like we should venture off, and though thats noble, maaaaaaybe not at the match ceremony. Thats like Michael Phelps being like LOOK FREESTYLE JUST DOESNT WORK right before the 4×100 relay.

Ozzy picks Hannah.

Oswaldo is up next and hes like “I GOTTA DO ME.” He picks Taylor.

Ryan asks Taylor how she feels about Tyler and shes like whos Tyler? Andre and her give each other looks and Im like OKAY YES IM HERE FOR THIS SHIT.

Ryans like Andre, do you wish you were with her and hes like Im practicing my patience. Whatever the fuck that means.

Oswaldo is like standing next to her like, lol just fuck me, right?

Andre picks Casandra.

Eddy picks Alicia and is like this is my homie.

KAM: I AM NOT WORRIED. ARE YOU WORRIED, BECAUSE I AM NOT WORRIED!!! *twitches*

Joey picks Rush boobs.

Derrick picks Gianna. Weird.

Tylers up and fucking moseys up to the front. Goddam hes like a walking Shakespeare playtragically beautiful.

Hes like Ryan, let me speak and Ryans like I didnt even say anything, but ok.

Tyler goes off about how he was painted as the villain and how he is innocent and how all this Taylor shit is fake news and the failing lamestream media is spreading false rumors!!! Sad!

Ryan asks Tyler who he likes more, Shannon or Taylor and Tyler picks Shannon.

RYAN: Do you think Tyler is your match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is Taylor his match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is the world round? SHANNON: IDK

Tylers talking about his breakup with Taylor and is like it sucks because you cant delete people in the real world. This is the first thing that I agree with him on. Dont worry Tyler, Ive watched . Well get to that point someday.

Michael picks KARI. Is it Carrie or KAAAAAARI? I have been saying KAAAAARI. Please DM some confirmation.

Hayden is next. Hayden tells the group that him and Gianna are affecting the game and they are going to stop screwing everyone over.

Gianna is like “WTF. WHO TOLD HIM HE COULD SPEAK? WHO LET HIM OUT OF HIS CAGE?” He picks Carolina. Hehe.

Jaylen and Tee are last. Tee is really bummed about Oswaldo and Ryan is like, “bitch its week four.”

These couples are random AF but idk Im drunk and just here to shit talk. Dont give that much of a fuck.

No blackout, so thats good. They get four beams again. Cant wait to hear them talk about it incessantly.

Read more: http://www.betches.com/are-you-the-one-season-5-episode-4-recap

http://nbafunnymeme.com/nba-news-and-higlights/are-you-the-one-recap-hi-my-name-is-tyranny-and-im-an-alcoholic

[lostandbrokenshell]

Darkest Before Dawn. Part 2

Farcry 5 fanfic. Rated M for Mature language and sexual reference. No pairing or plans for smutt.

Your head hurt fiercely slowly you open your eyes there was a man sitting not far from you, your hands where zap strapped to a post.

“Good your awake, you people really kicked the hornets nest.” He said staring you down.

“Sir im a lonely red head.”

“Im reffering to the shit job you deputies and that dumb ass marshal did.”

“Well it was my first day, i skipped the tutorial. Probably a my bad.” You reply as you close your eyes. Fuck did your head hurt.

“Is this a joke to you? Because those peggies are out there murdering people and burning their homes to the ground. They where waiting for some dumb ass to start their holy war and you ass holes just did it. Now good folks are dying and im trying to figure out this mess you made.”

“No this isnt a fucking joke, i was literally blown off a bridge. I went to see what happened to the dumb asses when we lost contact and another deputy split. I have no fucking clue whats going on i arrived in this town yesterday to start my job today. I went from being a fucking paramedic to this shit? Fuck. Fuck this is fucked. Am i going to make jokes? Yes, why? BECAUSE I WAS BLOWN OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE! Worst first day ever and now im tied up in what looks like is some old dudes basement. Sorry if im not taking it to seriously right now i have had a doozy of a time trying to figure this shit out.” You say while glaring at him, he studied your face for a few minutes before sighing deeply and pulling out a knife and cut you loose.

“Theres clothes in there, get changed burn the uniform meet me down the hall.” He said as he walked away. You pick out a flannel red shirt and jeans and go see the old man. There was one wall dedicated to your family and another woman. Clippings about disappearing people,a cult, people being strong armed out of their properties and homes. Your family was the centre of it all.

“Jeez” you whisper and you hand traces the wall. You look at “Faith” and the flower named bliss it was some serious chemistry compound drug work.

“Near as i can tell, shes a replacement for the sister they couldn’t find. Call her Faith because they believe that their sister will come back, and that “Faith” will help harrold her into a new beginning.” He said from behind you. “Names Dutch. I get you didn’t kick this hornets nest, but your involved non the less deputy. Help me, help the folks out there in this mess and maybe we can fix it.” You turn to face him, his face was stern and fixed on you for your reply.

“They’re killing people?” You ask and he nodded.

“If not themselves, they order it.”

“Im in.” You say with a small nod. Your heart had sunk. Blind leap of faith was a bad idea. Should of looked up everything, is that why the house was so cheap? People cutting losses and getting the fuck out of town? Dutch talked with you for a while catching you up on Edens Gate and “Peggies”. He helped you get a good lay of the land and where to find some things and even gave you few guns to leave with.

“Other than your, brief training as a deputy what else do you have in your bag of tricks. Because you cant underestimate these peggies.” Dutch asked as you where heading to the bunker door. “ These peggies dont mess around.”

“Fair enough, i was in air cadets until i was 18 got my pilots license through them, learned to shoot to. Im a ace shot actually.” You say with a smirk. “I also volunteered as a firefighter at 16 did that for a few years to, become a paramedic and did that until I moved here. I have lots of experience saving lives, this is the first time i get to use guns to do so.” You say with a smile.

Duth noded “Good dont die then.”

Securing falls end wasnt easy, you had to wait for a group of peggies to take off and act, strike fast and once they had the opportunity the rest of the town fought with you. Mary May put a shot and beer in front of you.

“You earned it darling.” She said with a smile “You really shoved it to those peggies! And it was beautiful.” Before you could answer the tv flickered and started showing an image of John, he had Hudson and was talking. You couldn’t hear what he was saying your mind tuned it out. You where lost, it really is your family and they are fully aware of what they are doing. The video started over again it was on a loop you realize you where holding your breath and exhale. You take the shot and put your head on the counter. This is fucked.

“Dep-you-tee” the radio crackled “You must have a radio from my men enough of them had one.” You look at the radio beside you Mary May was glaring at it. If looks could kill.

“Hello John.” You say slowly your mouth was dry, your heart pounding.

“Ah, there she is! I was wondering if I would get to hear your voice. I wonder when we get to meet? Will it be at your baptism maybe?”

“Not surprised you don’t recognize my voice John, but we met.” The bar was silent probably the quietest its even been you didn’t know.

“Oh? An old conquest maybe? Did you have a habit? Lots of possibilities. But none that matter. We maybe short what was promised but reaping day is here.”

“Where you promised another person?” You ask remembering Dutchs words about how they believed you would be back.” Laughter erupted on the other end.

“Dont you worry about that dep-you-tee, Joseph hasn’t been wrong yet, see you around John out.”

“Looking forward to the reunion, kind of its conflicting now... Joanne Hope out.” You didn’t add your last name, you didn’t go by Seed anymore but you think that was enough for him to get the picture. Everyone in the bar was fixed on you and the radio. There was a long silence before it was broken surprisingly by the radio.

“You’re top priority Dep-you-tee, your marked now. Lets see if you are, who you say you are hm?”

“Nothing like a good ole sibling rivalry John, in the midst of a hostile cult takeover. Lookin forward to it, because im not turning my back on these people. Ive dedicated my life to saving lives im not going to stop now.” You slide the radio away and the pastor sat down beside you everyone went tense watching you. “Im not like my brothers.” You say quietly as you sip at your beer.

“I certainly dont think that you are. Im pastor Jerom” he said warmly has he put his hand on your back. “Thank you for saving us.”

“Seeds arent welcome here” someone angrily yelled

“Then i guess its a good thing my last name is Knight. After my parents that raised me.” You say as you turn around to face the people. “I dont know what shit show i walked into, but this certainly isnt what i was expecting. Finding long lost homicidal siblings running a cult that almost killed me multiple times since i came to town. Fucking great. Just fucking great. I didn’t look into shit moving to this town because i wanted to be surprised. Looked beautiful seemed like a great job everything just seemed to fit so i thought it did. Should of stayed in Canada, paramedics dont deal militant cults.” It looked like a couple people where going to say something and you where getting ready to leave. Mary May slammed her hands on the bar.

“The deputy stays. She chased those peggies out of town, she freed us and gave me my bar back. Got a problem with that then walk.” She said as she nodded towards the door everyone looked down and walked away. “You got balls. I like that.” She said to you with a smile “Have another shot, we cant pick family.” She slid another shot to you and Jerom and poured one for herself. “Cheers” you all raised your shot glasses.

The next day you start driving up to the jail Jerom thought that maybe some space between you and the men looking for you might be best. You where not ready to deal with Jacob yet either so you decided on Faiths region. Besides should probably check in at the office so the know your alive, if they haven’t heard already. It was easy to zone out driving no one one the roads. Just tree, tree, tree, sign, tree, tree, tree, flaming person, tree, tree. Shit! Flaming person? You slam on the breaks and look back a peggie was on fire while it looked like Sharky assisting in the lighting of the fire. You put it in park and hop out.

“Sharky my man! Safer to travel in numbers want to come?” You ask as you to nod to your stolen truck.

“Hang out with the coolest deputy ever bashin peggie heads? Hells yes im in! Your like the coolest bro ever, i mean dude, dudette? You know. Uhh, yeah.” He said with a nod.

“Great, I remember something about a flamethrower? That would be great in times like this.” You say as you both get in “I mean if the worlds going to burn, might as well help it.”

“Seriously your like, the fucking coolest how did you end up with the popo?or this shit hole town for that matter”

“An absolutely terrible judgement call.” You reply With a laugh. “When my parents passed and left me everything i saw an opportunity to try something new. I had money to sit on while i did training and that for some reason i thought law enforcement. I mean i did some firefighting, was a paramedic and thought why not law. It ended up the town i had long lost family in, needed someone of my position i went for and got it.” You say the jail was close by now. “I wasn’t expecting a crazy cultists hostil take over on day one of the job.”

“No one ever expects the crazies, you just cant know how crazy they are untill its to late. Like we all knew they where crazy but not likeTHIS crazy. This is set your house on fire with you trapped inside crazy. Because thats what they’re doing ya know, litterly what they’re doing.” Sharky said with a nod “I feel bad because i may of shown one or two peggies how to make a flamethrower before i knew they where crazy peggies.”

“Dont worry Sharky, i wont blame you for that... If you dont blame me for my long lost family. Im, uh.. My last name was Seed a long time ago, before i was adopted.” You say stiffly not sure how he would react he looked surprised for a minute then nodded.

“No worries bro, we’re on the same team!” He said as he patted you on the shoulder. The prison came into view and it looked like it was through a war.