#and that's bullshit . i'm a big enough man to admit this

[stump-not-found]

congrats me on writing 70k words

[howlett-dekarios]

𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎

▏Worst!Logan Howlett x Reader

▏Summary: After being forced to help Wade, Logan ends up finding himself a new purpose to live: showing you that you are so much more than just his other late variant lover.

▏Warnings: angst | canon death | depression | self doubting | MDNI

▏Word count: 4k

▏A/n: This is my first story posted here so it's probably not the brightest one since english is not my first language. I'm thinking about writting part 2 though if people gonna like it. Unedited, will fix possible mistakes later.

Yeah his tantrum in the car went too far. He had said words that even if they were true, shouldn’t have left his mouth. But the red suited clown got on his nerves. Saying how he was able to fix it all, damn well knowing how big bullshit it was. 

Oh no, sorry, it was a fucking educated wish. 

Waking up next to Deadpool wasn’t a great memory. First few seconds he had been considering possibly killing that prick in his dream. Suffocating or maybe cutting the head off. Anything to finally shut him up for good. 

But after seeing that one pic after Wilson blacked out, being tied up with safety belts, he just couldn’t. Most of the people on it were complete strangers to him. Some random group of idiots, enjoying their time together. No matter how pathetic excuse of a hero, the red suited man was, he had a family. Logan got it, fuck he understood it too well. That’s why it hurt. Not physically but he had to give to Deadpool for hitting a few good punches. It hurt his ego. How Wade, even being the biggest clown, was able to stand for his world. Not willing to wait and see how it all goes to shit. Not walking away the moment life fucked him to the ground. Not like Logan did. 

He did and he lost it all. Not turning around to fight with his friends. Fight for his close ones. Admit how deep he really cares. Show his vulnerability which he has always been hiding from everyone, even himself. And then instead of getting himself together, trying to do better, be better… he abandoned it all. Sunk in self pity and anger. Killing innocent people who hadn’t even had anything to do with the raid. Losing himself and becoming a dark shadow of himself. 

In his reality, everyone knew the name Wolverine. 

And every single one hated him the same. He fucking deserved it all which was one of the reasons why Deadpool attempts to made him look like a hero were frustrating him. He didn’t want to be one. Didn’t deserve to be. Because if he would, it would be a dishonor to their memory. 

Logan didn’t give a fuck when the angry guy destroyed the bottle. He had seen more of the alcohol hidden here when he searched through the room. While Deadpool took care of talking, Howlett only brought another whiskey, opening it and starting to zero it out again. Laughing at the pathetic attempts of his kidnapper to convince these god forgotten heroes to team up in the fight against Nova. Another lies and bullshiting. 

“Oh please, shut the fuck up!” He finally got irritated enough to interfere. “You’re just an asshole who can’t accept the fact that you fucked up.” 

“I wouldn’t have been here if your handsome old ass hadn't felt like dying in a tragic overpriced act of self sacrifice, because Hugh Jackman got tired of being the main mascot for FOX, thank you very much.” Wade reminded him about the other variant who was an anchor being for his universe. Logan still couldn’t believe that. Who had been stupid enough to choose Wolverine as a great hero to glue the entire world in existence. 

“Whatever.” Another gulp of whiskey landed in his throat. “Why are we even here? Who the hell dragged us here?” His tone was stern as if he would like to argue with whoever brought them there. 

“That would be me.” 

You were patrolling the area after storming out and slamming the door behind you. The arguments were an inevitable part of living in this shithole. Plus Gambit was sometimes really an irritating dickhead. 

Deep down you knew what got you on edge. Johnny not coming back nor giving any sign of life for the last few days. It only reminded you about how this all gonna end up. Every single person who had been sent to Void and hadn't joined Casandra’s gooses has eventually vanished or died. Frank, Eric, Matt and now Johnny. Sooner or later you all will die off. And you have seen enough deaths in your lifetime already. Including one particular one… The one which you never agreed with. Constant stinging that made you cry on lonely nights when Laura wasn’t around. You could still recall how tightly you had been holding his corpse. Begging for one more miracle that never came. 

Suddenly your attention turned to a car which you knew too damn well. Nicepool’s Honda. From all the Deadpools he was the only particular one who was allowed to enter the area. Keeping in touch by being a messenger between his other variants and other people who survived. Being considered as a normal one. Or more like as normal as any Wade Wilson could be. But nonetheless even he couldn’t barge in without any previous announcement. 

“For fuck’s sake Nice, how many times we need to-“ You groaned but closer you got, it was more obvious that something was really wrong. 

Looking into the vehicle, your heart stopped. 

It couldn’t be. 

The woman who entered the room was probably in her late twenties or early thirties but Logan couldn’t be sure. Unlike your friends you weren’t wearing the superhero suit. Looking very domestic even, considering their surroundings. 

“Oh my Faige, it’s her!” Deadpool looked back at his companion in disbelief and excitement, his inner nerd showing up. “I’m a big fan. Deadpool or Marvel Jesus, but you can call me Wade, peanut. Oh fuck me, the cameos really cost fortune.” By your confused eyes Howlett could bet that you haven’t understood any shit Wilson just said, but in the end you nodded acknowledging his introduction. 

You hadn’t talked much in the whole conversation, more focused on listening and hanging on young girl, Laura as Wade previously mentioned. When the man in the red suit finally came with a plan and recruited all the heroes in, you only nodded, looking indifferent. Presumably only agreeing because others did. It made Logan curious but not enough to stick with all the clowns in spandex. In the end, this whole plan was a suicide mission and he will take no part in it. 

Yes it would be easy to just die. Too easy. 

“Love, I know, I get it.” You sighed, couldn’t blame Laura for wanting to try. To talk with her father even if it wasn’t really him. But it was dangerous. Possibly giving younger girl's hope. You knew it all too well. You’ve already seen it all. Been there in Wolverine’s lowest. And this variant? It just screamed trouble. An unsuccessful suicidal who just wanted to stay in his self pity and misery hole. It was the last thing that your daughter needed. But either way, you decided to support Laura. The girl was old enough to make her own choices, only thing that mattered was her knowing the possible outcomes. “You want to talk with him, but… it’s not Logan.” Not yours. 

“I know it!” The desperation in teen’s voice made you close your eyes. It was already too late to change her mind. “I know. He died. He’s gone. But he’s still Logan. Maybe not ours, but… he feels familiar.” Drunk, broken and running from everything and everyone. “I want to try. Talk with him and see who he truly is.” 

You sighed once again but nodded, walking towards the younger one and closing your arms around the teen. 

“Okay. But be careful and don’t let him get in your head.” 

“I always am, you know me.” Laura smiled and left to meet the variant of her father who had been sitting outside. 

After a few minutes of standing there and overthinking, you decided to focus on training which was a routine for clouding your damn brain. Anything that could be used as a distraction. Exhaust you to the point where your muscles were sore. 

You had a very bad feeling about it all. At the beginning when you both ended up in Void you had been praying for any variant of Logan to be sent there. So you could’ve felt his arms one more time. Hear his voice and smell his cologne. But with every passing day that hope slowly vanished, leaving you with only grief and emptiness in heart. 

“Such a coincidence, huh?” Gambit leaned over the door with a smart smile, looking at how you’ve been boxing the punching bag. 

“Not in a mood for your teasing, Remmy.” You didn’t hold any grudges from the morning fight. Especially after agreeing to fight Cassandra. It would be a shame if one of your last memories together would’ve been an argument. 

“You let Laura talk with him. Quite impressive.” Clearly your friend had other plans. 

“And what do you think I should’ve done, what?” An irritated look was sent towards him, but Gambit only walked closer. “She’s almost grown up woman. She can do whatever she wants.” 

“Yeah, I know and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Actually I’m surprised you weren’t the first person who ran to him.” His smirk only made you instantly regret not leaving the room the second he entered. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I only say that you finally have a chance.” 

“Chance for what, Remmy? Because let me tell you-“ 

“Don’t act stupid because it doesn’t suit you. You’ve missed Logan since you got here. You can try to lie to yourself about being over him but we all hear your little sobs when you think no one is looking. This fucked up universe finally gave you a chance to heal. To get better by facing your past-“ 

“He is not my past for god’s sake!” Not that Wolverine. “And is none of your fucking business, Remmy!” You walked over to him quickly, pointing a finger into his chest. Your emotions conflicted even more than ever before. Shit, you warned Laura not to be brainwashed and here you were, getting more and more confused by it all. All the years you’ve spent with Logan, your Logan, just to see him die on your eyes. And now the other untouched and very alive one is talking with your freaking daughter. You looked in Gambit’s eyes, breathing rapid. “Listen I know what you’re trying to do. I get it that we all gonna die tomorrow but it’s not an excuse for me to do something stupid.” To betray Logan like that. 

“Honey.” Remmy’s hand squeezed your arm reassuringly. “I won’t make you listen to me, but… I’m your friend. Your happiness is my business. And believe me… maybe I didn’t know your Logan, but if he really loved you… he would like you to live. Not only exist in constant grief.” His tone was serious which was rather an unusual thing for Gambit. “Think about it, okay? That’s all I’m asking for.” 

You knew how your friend had your best interest in minds but fuck… he hasn’t got it any better. 

After making sure that Laura had already fallen asleep, you walked out of the hideout building with your arms wrapped around yourself. 

“You gonna get cold.” 

His grumpy voice reached you sooner than expected. Screw the heightened senses…

“I’m okay unlike you.” A basic observation. The light of fire illuminated his posture and the already half emptied bottle of whiskey. Thanks to his mutation it wouldn’t affect him as much as a normal human but it wasn’t about ending drunk and you knew it. It never has been about it. Not when it came to Wolverine. “You know that we have spare rooms, right?” Thanks to the constant rotation of people around in the Void. “Your friend already occupied Johnny’s bed. You’re not gonna really rest here. The ground is rather cold and uncomfortable. That is if you even want to sleep.” Which you doubted. 

“I’m fine.” Another rough grumble, while you sat next to him. 

“Yeah, clearly.” An obvious hint of sarcasm in your voice. You stretched out a hand, signaling to pass the bottle what was met with his judging glance. But he did it anyway. 

“So since the young one hasn’t done her job to talk me into going with you, they’ve sent another one?” A low chuckle left him. Logan wasn’t looking at you, his eyes longing, focused on fire. “Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart but I’m not a hero.” 

“I know you’re not. I’m not here to try to make you change your mind. It won’t work.” The sureness in your voice was evident and it surprised him a bit. 

“Then what are you here for? Want to share your teary story? The red asshole already told me what the other one did and-“ 

“There is nothing to share. He died, I survived but it made no difference.” Probably the most painful aspect of your lover’s death. How it didn’t fucking matter. Not even a week after the events in North Dakota agents of TVA showed up in the hotel room you and Laura stayed in, evaporating you two without much explanation. Some bullshit how you had no reason to exist anymore since Wolverine was gone. 

But your words… how you were so indifferent about it all. It didn’t sit right with Logan. Your facade and previous convo with Laura… it all made him curious. Waking up some part of him that Logan was so sure was already dead. 

“Listen I…” A long sigh left him, finally looking at your face. Shit, it was the first time he saw you so close and there was no doubt why his other variant was so fond of you, how really pretty you were. Your soft face, grey eyes intelligent and shining because of the warm glow of the fire. “I’m not good at this. Apparently I’m the worst person for it. I’m not him.” 

“You are not. And I don’t expect you to be.” 

“You’re always so pessimistic?” Logan couldn’t understand why he even tried to joke but he had that deep feeling inside of him that told him to just do it. To try. 

“Just when I’m alone. I’m trying to keep myself sane along Laura.” 

“Smart girl by the way. Didn’t take any bullshit. Did a good job in raising her.” 

“I know.” Gambit’s words still rang in your head so you decided to be less defensive. “Thanks.” Your tone changed to a more polite one. 

“She’s not your bio daughter.” It wasn’t really a question but you shook your head anyway, which made Logan smile lightly. “Damn, he had to be a lucky bastard if you were willing to treat his kid as your own.” 

“She is my own.” Not biological but Laura was your daughter. 

“How long you’ve been together?” 

“Asked me out not too long after he joined X-Men. Stayed with him to the end. Almost ten years.” 

He kept looking at you intently, his eyes searching the face as if trying to recognize any familiar features on it. Ten years of being together. How on earth could someone care about the broken man like that? He couldn’t understand it.

“You never… gave up on him? Despite knowing he was a complete mess?” You chuckled at that. The first fully honest reaction. Shit, Logan had to admit how lovely the sound was. 

“He was asking the same questions, you know? And no. I never gave up on him, because he never gave up on me.” 

He let out a faint laugh at that, thinking that the other him must have been a damn saint to deserve your love and loyalty.

“So you two… you were in love huh?” 

“Yes… yes you can say that.” A simple nod, feeling a mix of curiosity and something else he couldn’t explain. The idea of someone loving him was completely foreign to him, and the fact that you loved a different version of him was even weirder.

“What was he like? The other me.” 

You looked at Logan, first time being face in face since your lover died. At first glance this variant was completely different. Younger, healthier, more bulky… but the features stayed the same. Small wrinkles around the eyes which color reminded you of all the times you had woken up in his arms. The softness that appeared only when it came to you… 

“You are so sure of your difference. But the truth is that, fuck, you’re so similiar… familiar.” You couldn’t believe your own words. After all day of denying that, now sitting next to him it all came back to bite your ass. The memories, scent, how your body instantly relaxed just because of him being close. “Both of you are thinking that you’re fucked up, that you’re the worst one for your job, that you are only good and capable of hurting others. But it’s not true. You are always on the right side, protecting people you care about… you can’t stand and just watch how everything goes down.” 

Logan could see the honesty in your eyes and the words made his stomach clench. You,  sounding so sure and so convinced that it almost made him want to believe it. But he’s always been too aware of how messed up he was, too aware of the fact that he was just a broken old man who’s only good at causing pain and violence. That his whole universe turned their back on him exactly because of how he left and watched from afar how it all burned to the ground. 

“You don’t know me, bub. You know another me. Don’t go getting ideas that I’m anywhere close to him.” 

“Oh really? Then why are you constantly drinking yourself out? Why are you here, helping Wade, huh?” 

The accusations only made him grit his teeth. These words… just stating the obvious, but it bothered him anyway. He looked at you and couldn’t help the defensive tone in his voice, as if he was trying to prove that he was in fact, the wrong Logan. 

“You don’t know why I drink, sweetheart. You don’t know why I’m here. So stop acting like you do know me.” 

“You drink because you fucking care Logan. You care so much that it hurts you, the knowledge about losing people you loved. You’re here because deep down you know that you have to help Wade, that it’s your duty to help innocents.” At this point you weren’t even sure to which Logan you were talking to. Maybe it all were just unspoken words that you couldn’t have said to your lover because he died too soon. Or maybe your brain had other plans for her. 

A pang of surprise struck him. You were hitting uncomfortably close to the hidden part of himself that he so hard tried to kill off and it made him grow more frustrated and vulnerable than he’d like to show. 

“How can you be so damn sure about it?” How could you if he wasn’t even himself? 

“Because I know you, Logan. No matter if it was him, or if it’s you. No difference. You’re the same Logan.”  

“The same, huh sweetheart? Don’t make me laugh. That other me, the one you knew, was loved. Cared for. You obviously cared for him.” The walls he had built for all the time he was alone were slowly falling. “In my world everyone knows my name. Because I fucked up. Your Logan died as a hero. I can’t even die.” Not because he hasn’t tried to. But because of how his death would be a disrespect for all the other people he cared about in the past. Him living was the punishment he deserved. “I’m useless, darling.” 

“Yeah I loved him. But I buried him long time ago. And the moment I did the TVA came and told me that my purpose was over. That I was just a side lover with no further reason to be kept alive. You really think you are the useless one?” Your true feelings finally flowed out. All the concerns and insecurities. After years in the mansion, being an x-men you really thought that you found yourself. That you were so much more than you once thought. But no. The universe only needed you because Logan did. 

“What?” His confused face was enough proof that he hadn’t even thought about why exactly Laura and you were here. “It can’t be… you can’t say that stuff about yourself.” Logan couldn’t point out why, but he immediately changed his perspective. Something in his brain pushed him out of the self pity hole and guilt trap he has been in for years. Hearing that the most perfect woman he ever met, the kind and caring person who sat beside him was born only for his other self to be with… it didn’t sit right. “You are much more than that, sweetheart.” 

“You don’t know me.” The fact that you just repeated his previous words made his blood boil. For fuck’s sake why he had to be such an idiot all the time.

“Don’t be a smartass, and don’t you fucking dare to hide behind it now. You stayed with that asshole for ten goddamn years. You raised his daughter and are treating her like your own. You’re trying to help me, who’s just a pathetic excuse of a man constantly self pitying himself. Screw what those bastard told you. You are not just a lover. You are your damn fucking person.” Logan’s hand cupped your cheek. His eyes were so serious and demanding but at the same time gentle and worried. “Look at me, princess. You are an intelligent, patient, kind, strong and absolutely beautiful woman, who is not just a puppet that can be thrown away, you get it? I don’t have any idea why the fuck universe had chosen the other me to be this screwed glorified idiot, because it should’ve been you. I should’ve been the addition that was unnecessary for existing. Because you? You are the reason why he existed. Why I-“ 

The word slipped through his lips before could stop himself. All the emotions and things he heard that day, all he had seen. How Laura treasured you, how others respected you, how Wilson was fangirling and almost came just because of you being in the same room. Listening to your story of how much you’ve cared about the other him. It made him want it all. Wanted to be the other him. Do something to deserve your love. To show you how much you were supposed to be loved. How you should be a treasure to keep safe and protect at all costs. 

“Fuck it-“ 

And before you could’ve reacted, Logan reached for you, closing the distance and pressing your lips together. Trying to savor the taste of you on him, deepening it like his life depended on it. Living the moment of pure oblivion, wanting you to forget about it all. About the other him, TVA, Void and everything else. Tell you without using words how much he loved you. 

Yes, he didn’t deserve you. But it wasn’t about him. Not anymore. 

[nqueso-lies]

https://www.tumblr.com/nquesoxlies/780567152604463104/let-people-be-upset-about-their-favorite?source=share

tbh there's also something a loooot of ppl need to learn calling "setting realistic expectations." i personally wouldn't want eddie back without an on-screen conversation between him and CHRIS about what CHRIS wants, otherwise his entire plot in texas would feel kinda moot with a throwaway "yeah chris is fine with coming back to LA :)" since this plot was big enough for eddie to drop everything to go finally make things right with his son. i didn't expect for him to show up for the two-parter. meanwhile, everyone i saw who was momentarily disappointed bc no tommy was like "ah well, we know we're almost definitely getting him next episode bc of leaks" and went on to enjoy the episode as a whole

its genuinely fine to go "aw no eddie? :(" its Not fine to review bomb an episode and repeatedly bitch about the director not putting ur favorite man in the episode when it makes 0 sense for him to come back so quickly and without showing us that he IS still working on being a better dad to chris. hell, go write fanfic about it where eddie IS back instead of review bombing!!! that's probably a way more fun use of time than review bombing!!!

honestly, these fans make me dislike eddie more and more ngl which isn't even the actor or the writers faults at all. if he leaves the show then it's not going to impact me that much unless his ending is fully unsatisfying, and that'll be more of a "cmon, writers, you knew this was where this was going, do better." i have never watched the show only for eddie like these people have. came into the show expecting to love madney + henren and ended up very emotionally invested in bathena while enjoying buck and eddie as well. i'm on the same page as a lot of ppl who have been here longer than i have been: we love the entire show rather than just eddie. honestly, i think half of these people don't even like buck. i already know most of them don't give a shit about the rest of the show from insulting ravi over him distracting buck with tommy to turning josh into the "number 1 b*ddie cheerleader" to ignoring henren unless they can use them as a "gotcha!!! you don't actually care about queer rep!!!" like.

@ BoBs: do YOU? because every time there's queer rep that threatens ur fanon ship, u actively get homophobic about it down to, what, 600? of you PROUDLY admitting you would commit a hate crime to make your stupid ship canon--including both real men and fictional characters like josh and tommy in your "i'd hate crime for them teehee!" bullshit.

idk queso its just wild to me how often i also see the "eddie diaz pretty pretty princess who wants to paint his nails!!!" like. painting ur nails isnt gendered, the fuck? BoBs see anyone gender non-conforming and goes "wow, inherent sign of queerness, i am very smart :)" while feeding directly into toxic masculinity with the idea that if you don't adhere strictly to what's deemed masculine, then clearly you're queer. even if you say you're straight and know you're attracted to women and only women, you're gay because you (checks notes) have emotions and cry over your friends and did ballroom dancing when you were younger.

anyway if im being petty then i kinda hope that eddie leaves to focus fully on chris and making a life for the two of them in el paso and ravi takes his place on the team so that we get indian rep permanently on the show for a bit! i think he could bring some new life into the team (regardless of whether the show goes on for one season or more) and it'd be nice to see buck in a mentor position to him. plus i'd love to see his dynamic with the rest of the team <3 i am still available to play his love interest who is there for a single episode before being relegated to one-off mentions <3 /hj

Yes to alllllll of this, Annie!!!

What's ironic to me, based on something you mentioned, is the nail painting. They want sooooo hard for RG to actually be gay yet an actor who does paint his nails (for self-harm reasons) they call a slur and tell him to die.

Like???? Wtf are we doing???

(I know your ask is about the characters but that shit will always rub me the wrong way about Ryan stans)

[spookypete-94]

Heels John PricexFem!reader

Thought for a long time about who I would rather write about in this scenario. The big intimidating but loving Ghost, or our rather caring and gentle man of a Captain. The more I thought about it, the more John fit into this better. So! I present to you a short story called Heels (inspired by a TikTok I saw but can no longer find) that lives in my brain rent free.

Trigger warning for language, implied smut at the end.

Working alongside the TF141 is generally anything but boring. This time however, it is radically outside your normal specialties of defensive tactics. Commonly, your multilingual self worked with the front lines. Either making peace or declaring war with the faces of many enemies in their native tongue. Always willing to follow up with your promise of violence with your knowledge of weaponry.

You should have known something was off by the way Laswell pronounced herself half way in front of your make shift office in the hotel you were staying in, blocking herself with the other half of the doorway to what you would consider an evil plan trick. Using the entry way as a blockade hiding the tight black dress in a bag in her other hand.

"I need you to do me a favor." By her tone you could tell she was addressing something, rather delicately but still trying to be direct. Still acting strange none the less.

"A favor? Or is this an order?" Your tone not believing her, looking up at her through your loose hair and up past your eyebrows over the stack of papers you had finished for her.

She sighed seeing the direction this was going sensing your attitude.

"It's a mission, one I've already assigned you to."

"I'm finishing the last report for you and now you're sending me on another mission? What the fuck, Laswell?" You asked confused sitting back in your chair.

"You see," she said beating around the bush, "the dress doesn't fit me so I can't do it myself." Side stepping from the door frame and exposing the dress bag that was in her hand.

A long pregnant pause filled your office as your heated gaze glanced back at her, and back to dress bag.

"What entirety of a shit show have you signed me up for??" Your question booming out of your office and spilling into the hallway where Price stood leaning. He was watching the interaction of you and Laswell, trying to keep his snicker to himself. Laswell seeing this out of the corner of her eye stepped in and shut your office door hoping to save her hide from the embarrassment.

Behind close doors she explained that you were needed for an undercover mission at a gathering. One that you needed to drop off a mic that would allow them to get information on a weapons runner, however with this being a Russian party, they felt they would be going in blind.

"I'm your translator, not your spy. This is espionage, isn't that more your forte?"

"Please, I need your help and already told John we would help his team. You're the only one that can bullshit your way through this."

A loud scoff left you as you snagged the dress from her hand. Pulling the bag apart you could see the sparkly black dress. As much as you didn't want to admit it, your heart skipped a beat at something so feminine, fingers running against the fabric catching on the stones periodically.

"It's the only dress we have on base... And it's your size."

"You fucking owe me."

Laswell zipped up the back of the dress leaving you to smooth out the material trying to make it longer on your skin.

"Looks nice."

"Mm." Was the only thing your brain could come up with.

Finding some heels you kept with your pant suit you wore with, you slipped those on. They were a little risque seeming as your pant legs were long enough to cover them, but with the dress you could definitely see the red velvet on the back of the black heels. The heel, a normal 5" inch shaft with a tight point at the end. You always thought they would make a nice weapon if needed and here you might just get your chance.

Stepping out into the hallway following Laswell, you joined Price who was waiting patiently still. You could immediately feel his eyes on you. Somehow, even though the bright blue was like the frozen tundra, they were warm... like you could stay there.

"You ready?" His voice grumbled out.

"As much as I'll ever be," you said side stepping the two ready for this to be over.

*********************************

In the thick of it, you had been let in to the "social gathering". Turns out, if you dress yourself up well enough- no questions are even asked. Looking around, it really was rich socialites. Most of them made rich from their dirty deeds, or the lengths of how far they are willing to sell their souls.

But Laswell was right, the ability of your capability to bullshit your way through this, was impeccable. How grateful you were fluent in Russian.

"Nearly there," Price said being overwatch for you, seeing you make your way into the meeting room of the house where you had learned TF141's target would be assembling his counsel.

Placing your mic and wire under a shelf in a bookcase near the desk, you then quickly slipped out the door and found a way out of the party, heading back to the hotel to help Price and Laswell with translation.

*********************************

The meeting had already started once you had walked back into the office off of Price's room this time. Price offered you headphones which you had put on, closing your eyes to listen. Thankfully with were you had placed the wire, you were hearing everything. Repeating everything that was being said as Laswell wrote it down and Price made sure it was recording in case needing to return back to the information later.

As the meeting called to an end, you had discovered they were doing a weapons drop off tomorrow. Later in the evening to be concealed by dark to be exact. From the work you had done, you had the amount of men that would be there down to the amount of guns and bullets being exchanged.

Laswell stood up ready to go call this in as she squeezed your bare shoulder, leaving Price's office quickly due to their recent break through.

Doing so left you and Price alone.

"Thank you, I know that wasn't easy for you," he said getting up and reaching into his desk pulling out 2 whiskey glasses and a bottle with ember liquid.

"Glad its over, don't ever wish to do it again. Didn't enjoy it," you replied shuddering thinking about the many eyes that were on you. Thankfully you had quietly left, all unscathed and without issue. The whole idea of being in the enemies den however, was a bit much for you. You preferred it to be at the hands of combat, where everyone knows where they stand on the battlefield- not waiting for your cover to be blown.

He gave a quiet single chuckle, sliding the glass to you his way of showing his gratitude. Eventually leaning on the front of his desk near you.

"Dress looks nice, you look nice," he said making you flush but you tried to hide it with the glass he had just supplied you with.

"How funny, Captain. I had men with their eyes on me and none of them brave enough to flirt with me there," you quipped trying to break the awkward tension that was rising.

"Can you really call them men then?" The question he gave only rising your flush further. You snorted, still trying to play this off as banter- not realizing his full intentions of getting you riled. Finding the question rhetorical, you did not answer. Instead you focused on how sore your feet where from trying to almost sprint in the heels away from the lions den.

Making a grimace, you reached down to slip them off. The heavy feeling of Price's hand on your shoulder pushing you back though made you look at him wide eyed.

"What are you doing?"

"My girl can let me do that." He said reaching forward grabbing the leg of the chair you were in and pulling it towards him abruptly. The whole idea of him making a motion looks so easy made you weak at the knees... good thing you were sitting down. Large fingers around the back of your foot, slipping the heel down and off, quickly removing the other one as well.

A sigh of relief left you as you sat back in the chair but quickly looked up as Price was still standing above you.

"Captain?" You asked face now feeling permanently red and warm. Maybe it was the bourbon...

"John. That's the name you're gonna being saying tonight, love." A promise he intended to hold you to.

Making your jaw go slack, his chest reverberated in his normal laugh all while he kneeled in front of you. The sight of it all feeling like a dream to you. Slowly, he left kisses up your legs, taking turns moving back and forth on each one. Finally resting at your thighs, he pushed your dress up revealing your panties that he pushed to the side and buried his face in gently. Tongue separating your warmth.

"John," was all you could say near whisper. Thank god John kept his promises.

[lousypotatoes]

Because A Group Does It Better

"You open the door

Wearing nothing but a smile down to the floor

And you whisper in my ear 'Baby I'm yours'

Ooh, just the thought of you, gets me so high~"

Want To Want Me - Jason Derulo

Previous

Next

Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

But now I think the answer is plain to see

I wanna be famous

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags 'cause I've already won

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

I wanna be famous

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

I wanna be

I wanna be

I wanna famous

I wanna be

I wanna be

I wanna be famous

I wanna be

I wanna be

I wanna be famous~

It was still the night from the last challenge, The Killer Bass were now surrounded around a campfire, too tired to do anything else, but too depressed to go to bed.

They had only won two challenges even though they competed in five. It made the the whole team feel down. Did they really suck that bad?

Y/N sat on a trunk next to Duncan, her head in her hands. She wondered what he dad thought of her. She wondered how he was doing. Was he eating healthy? Was he drinking enough water? Was he being taken care of? Was he proud of her?

Y/N wanted to go home.

The sound of obnoxious crying made Y/N turn her head around, seeing Bridgette holding a crying Sadie's hand, guiding her to sit with everyone else around the fire. Sadie continued to sob, tears and snot leaking down her face, she hugged a piece of wood and held it close to her.

"It was a long goodbye," Bridgette said.

The sound of more people coming towards made Y/N inwardly groan. She already knew who it was. "What do you guys want?" Courtney sneered. "Come by to rub it in?"

"We got some extra dessert after out tuck shop party," Trent smiled. Y/N saw that Beth was holding up a platter of green jello with a gummy worm in it. "Thought you might want some."

"That's weirdly nice," Y/N remarked, eyeing the team with suspicion.

"Okay, Owen stunk up our cabin and we need some time to air out," Gwen said, rolling her eyes over to Owen, who farted silently.

"Oh, dude," Trent said in disgust.

Beth walked over the Courtney, holding up the jello to offer it to her. "No!" Courtney said quickly, a freaked out look on her face. "I mean, no thanks."

"What, are you on a diet or something?" Duncan asked.

"No! I just don't like green jelly, okay?" Courtney snapped, crossing her arms.

Beth shrugged, walking over to DJ, Duncan, and Y/N, offering them the jello instead. "No thanks, I'm good," Y/N said. Instead of saying something, DJ screamed, "Snake!" and knocked the platter out of Beth's hands, the jello all over the ground.

"Chill dude, it's just a gummy worm," Cody said, holding up the gummy worm.

"Sorry for trippin'," DJ sighed. "Snakes just freak me out."

"I feel you," Tyler said, patting DJ on the back. "Chickens give me the creeps, dude."

"You're afraid of chickens?" Gwen asked.

"Wow, that's, that's really lame man," Duncan laughed.

~Confessionals~ "So suddenly, everyone's having this big share fest by the fire," Gwen said. "Like Beth went on and on about how her mortal fear is being covered by bugs, Harold's afraid of ninjas, even Heather admitted she's afraid of sumo wrestlers."

--

"What's my worst fear?" Gwen shivered. "I guess being buried alive."

"Walking through a minefield. In heels," Lindsay said shakily.

"Flying, man," Owen admitted. "That's some crazy stuff."

"I would never go up in a plane! Never!" Izzy chimed in.

"I'm scared of hail," Geoff said. "It's small but deadly, dude."

"Being left alone in the woods," Bridgette said, looking down.

"Bad haircuts," Sadie said tearfully. "Oh, okay! I changed mine!" Lindsay said. "That's so much scarier than a minefield!"

Cody had to think about it before giving her answer. "Having to diffuse a time bomb under pressure."

"Open areas of water," Y/N bit her tongue. "Like lakes and oceans."

"I'm not really afraid of anything," Courtney said proudly.

"Bullshit," Duncan said, disguising it with a cough.

"Oh really?" Courtney said. "Well what exactly is your phobia?"

Everyone around the campfire looked at Duncan, curious to see what the fearless badass was most afraid of. Even Y/N, who Duncan talked to the most on the island, didn't have a single clue what Duncan was afraid of.

"Celine Dion music store standees," Duncan muttered, his head down. Y/N started giggling uncontrollably, covering her mouth when Duncan glared her, still giggling even though her hand was covering her mouth. "Not funny," he glared. "Oh yes it is," Y/N laughed.

"Exsqueeze me?" Cody smirked. "I didn't quite get that."

"Dude, did you say Celine Dion music store standees?" Trent asked. Duncan hid his face in his hands, embarrassed that everyone was laughing at him.

"Ooh! I love Celine Dion!" Lindsay squealed, before a look of confusion appeared on her face. "What's a standee?"

"It's the cardboard cutout that stands either outside in the inside the music store," Y/N explained, still slightly giggling.

"Don't say it!" Duncan snapped.

"Kind of like a flat Celine," Y/N smirked.

"So if we had a cardboard standee right now..." Courtney smiled.

"Shut up!" Duncan shouted, covering his face. "What about you, huh?" he pointed to Trent.

"Okay, well I hate mimes," Trent said. "Like a lot, alright." Courtney rolled her eyes.

"Courtney you have to be afraid of something," Y/N said. "Everybody said what they're afraid of. Now it's your turn."

"Nope, nothing," she smirked.

"That's not what she said last night," Duncan whispered to Y/N, Geoff, and DJ.

"Duncan, did you ever consider that maybe I was just humoring you and your lame-o story?" Courtney frowned.

"Sure princess. Whatever floats your boat," Duncan smirked.

"Shut up!" Courtney snapped.

A little bit after that, everyone decided that it was too late, and they decided to head to bed. Y/N said goodnight to her other friends like Gwen, Trent, and Leshawna, and headed off to the Killer Bass cabin. 

It was the next morning, each teams were sitting at their respected table in the mess hall, a bowl of Chef's oatmeal in front of everyone. Chris was at the front of the mess hall, grinning mischievously at all the of the campers.

"Campers, your next challenge is a game I like to call Phobia Factor," Chris said. "Prepare to face your worst fears!"

Y/N immediately froze up, her eyes widening.

"Worse than this?" Leshawna pointed to Chef's disgusting breakfast. "We're in trouble," Gwen said.

"For our first victimes, Heather, meet us all in the theater. It's sumo time!" Heather spit out her tea all over Trent.

"Gwen, you, me, the beach, a few tons of sand?" Gwen gasped and her eyes widened, a scared look on her face.

"Wait, how did they know those were your worst fears?" Lindsay asked.

"Because we told them," Gwen sulked, putting her head on the table. Lindsay still had a confused look on her face. "At the campfire last night," Trent said, patting Gwen on the back.

"Wait! They were listening to us?" Lindsay shrieked, standing up.

"It's a reality show, Einstein," Gwen frowned. "They're always listening to us."

"That's like, eavesdropping!"

"Chef Hatchet, didn't you have a special order for Tyler here today?" Chris asked. Chef, who was frying something up, nodded his head, a malicious smirk on his face. Chef handed Tyler a fried up chicken, Tyler grabbing it with a freaked out look. He hesitantly took a bite. Nothing happened at first, but then a chicken appeared where he took a bite, making him scream loudly.

After that, Chris had everyone gather outside to watch Beth face her fear. What she had to do was jump into a kiddie pool filled with worms. It made Y/N cringe when she imagined all those slimy worms all over her.

Everyone else seemed to think the same thing, everyone had disgusted looks on her faces, DJ even threw up.

Beth didn't seem to have a problem with it, shrugging and jumping into the kiddie pool. Y/N grabbed Duncan's arm when one of the worms was really close to touching her.

"Are you scared of a little worm?" he laughed.

"Oh shut up, you're scared of cardboard cutouts,"

That shut Duncan up real quick.

Beth was at the bottom of the kiddie pool for a few seconds, resurfacing with a big smile on her face, and worms covering her and inside her mouth, earning the Screaming Gophers a point and making Y/N wanting to puke. "And Beth sets the bar way up there," Chris said, making the Screaming Gophers cheer and Owen faint.

Next it was Lindsay and Sadie's turn, the two of them having to wear very ugly wigs. The two of them had very terrified looks on their faces, cringing as Chris very slowly.

Then it was Owen and Izzy's turn, the two of them having to fly up in very poorly looking plane flown by Chef. Y/N watched from the ground as she saw the plane fly, the plane doing all these rolls and flips. It would have been cool to see if the plan didn't look like it was about to fall apart.

It was Harold's turn next. He was in the bathroom when ninjas ambushed him. Obviously Y/N didn't see what happened, but the Chris told their team that Harold knocked himself out with nun chucks. So no point for them. 

 Everyone watched as Leshawna was chased by Chef dressed in a ridiculous spider costumer, Leshawna shrieking and screaming as she was chased. It made Y/N want to laugh, but Leshawna was her friend, so she didn't.

After that, everyone gathered around the outdoor amphitheater, sitting on the bleachers to watch Heather confront  a sumo wrestler. "Oh this is gonna be good," Y/N smirked, watching as Heather shook as she looked at the sumo wrestler. The sumo wrestler came running towards her, an angry look on his face. In response, Heather crouched in fear, the wrestler tripped over her and rolled down the hill, earning the Screaming Gophers their second point.

"It'll be okay, Bridge," Y/N hugged Bridgette before she had to face her fear. Her challenge was she had to spend six hours in solitude in the woods.

"Thanks, Y/N," she said shakily. "I'll be okay, I promise."

After Bridgette walked into the woods, Y/N went to the beach to watch Gwen face her fear. She was in a glass box, and all she had to was stay buried for five minutes.

"There's enough air for an hour, you only need to do five minutes," Trent comforted.

"As long as we decide to dig you up," Chris said, shoveling the sand onto the glass box.

"Not funny, Chris!" Gwen shakily cried, genuinely freaked out.

"Sheesh, take a pill," Chris smirked.

"I'll be listening to whole time," Trent smiled, handing Gwen a walkie talkie. "Just yell for me if you panic and I'll dig you right up."

"Goodbye cruel world," Gwen said as Trent closed the air slot, Chris continued to bury her.

After that it was DJ's turn. Everybody went back to the theater to watch him conquer his fear, which was having to touch a tiny little snake.

"Hey, you can do this buddy!" Duncan cheered.

"Yeah, go DJ!" Y/N hollered.

DJ stood on the stage, shaking and deciding whether he should just do it, or risk losing the challenge for the team. "It blinked!" he screamed, jumping back.

"It means she likes you," Sadie called out.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "It's the smallest snake ever, DJ, come on!"

"Yeah but it's slimy and scaly and slithery-"

"We need this point DJ!" she screamed. "Suck it up!" Y/N rolled her eyes and scowled. She really hated when Courtney acted like this. Everyone else on the team seemed to think the same thing.

"What, we're heading back to Loserville, people," Courtney said.

"Doesn't mean you have to be a bitch about it," Y/N muttered.

"What was that, Y/N?"

"Oh, nothing,"

DJ took a deep breath and with his eyes closed, very slowly picked up the snake with his finger, earning the Killer Bass a point and making everyone cheer.

"See, fear is only in the mind," Courtney said.

Now it was Trent's turn. Trent was supposed to be keeping Gwen company while she was still buried, but got distracted and started running when he saw a mime. "Just talk to him bro! And ask him to go away!" Chris said using a megaphone. "Okay, we've got two minutes before Gwen's done. Cody, you're up."

Chris told everyone else to go back to the campsite while he dealt with Cody. Cody had only ten minutes to diffuse a trash can bomb. If he didn't diffuse the bomb in time, it would explode, garbage going everywhere.

Now it was Duncan's turn. A few feet in front of him was a Celine Dion cardboard cutout. Y/N stood next to a scared and terrified Duncan. "Isn't she pretty?" Y/N asked. "I promise you, she's really nice."

"Just one hug and you're done," Chris snapped his fingers.

"That-that looks really real, man," Duncan stuttered.

"Dude she's made of cardboard!" Tyler shouted. "Get in the game!"

"Hey, you can back out if you want," Y/N smiled, grabbing Duncan's hand. "No one's forcing you yo do anything, besides Courtney. But if you don't want to do this, that okay."

Duncan took a deep breath, blushing a little bit when he realized Y/N was still holding his hand. "All right, I'll try," he said.

"You got this," Y/N grinned.

"Okay, okay," Duncan hyped himself before running towards the cutout with his arms open. With a determined look on his face, he hugged the cardboard cutout, lifting it up in the air, and earning another point. The Killer Bass started cheering and hollering. Y/N had the biggest grin on her face as she walked towards Duncan.

"I did it!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah you did!" Y/N said, the two of them hugging each other. After a second they realized what they were doing, and let each other go, chuckling awkwardly.

"Sorry about that," Y/N coughed.

"Nah, you're fine, it's okay," Duncan said, the two of them looking anywhere else.

"Y/N, it's your turn," Chris said. Shit. "Go change into your swimsuit and be at the beach in five minutes."

Five minutes later, Y/N was standing on the sandy beach in her swimsuit, multiple different thoughts going through her head. Thank God Duncan was going swimming with her, or else she would of quit the challenge before it had even began.

"All right, Y/N. All you need to do is swim around for only fifteen minutes," Chris explained.

"Yeah, yeah I can do this," Y/N shakily said, walking into the cold water. Duncan didn't say anything, walking behind her. 

Y/N walked stiffly toward the edge of the dock. The lake seemed darker up close, like it went on forever underneath. Duncan stepped up beside her, shirt off, tattoos visible under the fading light. Y/N wished she had a little more time to admire his tattoos and lean build.

“You ready?” he asked.

“No.”

“Too bad,” he said, grinning. “Come on. I’ve got you.”

She hesitated, then jumped with him.

The cold smacked her in the chest like a punch. Panic clawed up her throat instantly. Her arms flailed. “Y/N. Hey.” Duncan swam closer, steady hands on her shoulders. “You’re okay. I’ve got you. Just breathe.”

She clung to him without thinking, eyes wide and gasping. “I can’t—I can’t—”

“Yes, you can,” he said firmly. “You’re not sinking. I’m right here.” Slowly, she nodded. Her breathing evened out.

They floated for a bit. She gripped the water like it might turn solid if she tried hard enough.Ten minutes in, she was swimming small laps near the dock. Not graceful, but alive.

“You’re doing better than I expected,” Duncan said, watching her.

She smirked weakly. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

He swam beside her for a moment, then asked, quietly, “Why are you so scared of this stuff anyway?”

She froze mid-stroke. Water lapped softly around them.

He waited.

Y/N sighed. “When I was six… before my mom left, she was supposed to be watching me at this apartment pool. She said she’d be right back, just going inside to answer the phone. Told me to stay out of the water.”

Duncan stayed silent, eyes on her.

“I didn’t listen. I went in. Slipped on the steps. Went under.”

She glanced away, like she could still taste chlorine in the back of her throat. “I remember the water in my nose. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t scream. Just sinking. Everything felt huge and empty. I honestly thought I was gonna die.”

“Your mom find you?”

“Eventually. I don’t know how long I was under. A neighbor pulled me out.” Her voice turned brittle. “My mom was too busy yelling about me not listening to even realize how scared I was.”

They floated in silence for a moment.

“That’s why I don’t do water,” she finished softly. "If I can’t see the bottom, it’s like… it all comes back.”

Duncan nodded, his face unusually serious. “That’s messed up. But you’re not that kid anymore.”

She met his eyes. “Don’t feel like it.”

“You don’t have to,” he said. “You’re still out here. That counts.”

The buzzer on the dock went off. Chris’s voice echoed across the water. “And that’s fifteen minutes, baby! Phobia faced!” Y/N let out a shaky laugh and swam toward the dock. Duncan followed, climbing up beside her.

He handed her a towel without a word. She took it, hands trembling slightly. “Thanks,” she muttered. “For asking.”

He shrugged. “Thanks for not letting me drown out there.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please. You’d cling to me like a leech.”

He grinned. “If it means getting that close to you, maybe.”

She bumped his shoulder with hers, smiling despite herself.

Everyone was beginning to finish their challenges. Gwen got dug up, Lindsay and Sadie got to take off their ugly wigs, and Izzy an Owen got off the plane, kissing the ground as soon as the touched the ground.

Now it was Tyler's turn, everyone gathered around a chicken coop to watch as he faced his fear.

"All right gang, we're in the ninth inning," Chris said. "Tyler, for your challenge, you need to get in this pen for three minutes with these chickens." Chris opened up a box to reveal a chicken with two baby chicks.

"You can do it Tyler!" Y/N cheered.

"Yeah, unless of course you're chicken," Duncan laughed. Y/N hit him hard in the ribs, hoping it would leave a bruise.

"I'm not sure we're getting anywhere on this one," Chris said. Tyler was in the pen, but he was completely frozen, rocking himself back and forth on the ground.

"Tyler, this is the last challenge, quit being such a girl!" Courtney snapped. "You have to do this or we're going to lose."

Cody pulled out a calculator, pressing all sorts of buttons. "Actually, if you do the math, you can't possibly win and the score's seven to four."

"Not necessarily," Chris smirked. "We've got one more challenge set up."

"Who? It can't be me," Courtney said. "But I didn't-"

"You didn't have to," Chris interrupted. "W"e're always watching you and your reactions."

Y/N though back on it. What was Courtney afraid of? She replayed last night in her head, trying to remember if Courtney reacted strangely to something. Then it hit her.

"You're afraid of green jelly?" Y/N burst out. "You're getting on us for not getting over our fears but you're afraid of something so simple as green jelly? Oh man, that's way too much."

Courtney glared at her, but didn't say anything, too embarrassed to speak.

"I knew it!" Lindsay said. "Didn't I tell you guys they were eavesdropping?"

"Oh, who cares," Courtney said. "It's not going to make a difference."

"Let's make this interesting then," Chris said, walking up to Courtney. "I'll give you triple points if you can complete it."

Courtney sighed but agreed to the challenge. A few minutes after that, everyone was standing at the bottom of a tall diving board, a pool of green jelly at the bottom, which Chef was stirring. Courtney looked up in disbelief.

"You're afraid of jelly," Duncan giggled.

"Shut up!" Courtney seethed. "Only the green kind. It's like sugary, jiggly snot!"

"You can face your fear and dive straight into this pool of jelly," Chris said. "Or let your team lose yet another challenge."

Courtney sighed, her head down as she walked to the ladder and began to climb. "This is insane. I could seriously die doing this."

"Oh, that is cruel," Gwen cringed. "It's probably warm by now. Warm, green jelly. Snotty, bouncy-"

"You're not going to make me quit!" Courtney yelled down as she climbed. After a few more seconds, she finally got to the top, her legs seemingly turning into jelly as she looked down. After a moment, Courtney covered her face with her hands. "I can't do it! I'm coming down!"

The Killer Bass looked down and sighed in disappointment, the Screaming Gophers cheering that they got another win.

"Then there you have it," Chris smiled into the camera. "The Gophers win invincibility this week. Again."

Y/N walked away from everyone, frustrated that the Bass lost another challenge. She was definitely voting Courtney off, that stupid hypocrite. 

An hour later, it was time for the elimination ceremony. Chris had already handed the marshmallows the campers who had completed their challenge. Y/N chewed on her marshmallow as she watched the rest of the ceremony unfold.

"There are only two marshmallows left on this plate," Chris said. The only campers who didn't receive a marshmallow were Bridgette, Tyler, and Courtney. "The three of you did not complete your challenges today. One of you is going home tonight and cannot return. Ever. The next name I'm gonna call, Bridgette."

Y/N was relieved to see that Bridgette was leaving. She really hoped that Tyler was staying instead of Courtney. Although she hardly talked to Tyler, she liked him a lot more than she liked Courtney.

"The final marshmallow of the night goes to, Courtney,"

Fuck.

"You'll get that chicken next time," Duncan smirked, patting Tyler on the shoulder. Tyler got up from his trunk and walked very slowly to the dock.

"Looks like a new pecking order has been established here," Chris joked.

"It's not like he can cry fowl," Duncan chuckled.

"Time for Tyler to fly the coop," Geoff laughed.

"He won't be flying high tonight," Bridgette giggled.

"Okay that's enough!" Courtney stood up.

The air smelled like smoke and pine, and the lake in the distance was quiet now—no cameras, no yelling, no challenges. Just stillness.

Y/N sat on a worn log her arms around her knees. She stared into the night sky, replaying everything that had happened earlier, diving into the water, the panic, Duncan’s voice pulling her back to the surface.

She heard footsteps crunching over dry leaves.

“You always brood this dramatically, or is it just a post-trauma thing?” Duncan’s voice broke through the quiet, teasing but softer than usual.

She smiled faintly without looking at him. “Just trying to decompress.”

He sat beside her, close enough that their shoulders nearly touched, but not quite. Neither of them spoke for a moment, watching the stars in the sky.

“I never said thank you,” she said eventually, glancing at him. “For earlier. For staying with me in the lake.”

He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Wasn’t a big deal.”

“It was to me.”

He didn’t respond right away. Just stared into the fire, jaw ticking like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to start.

After a beat, he muttered, “You did good. Most people would’ve bailed.”

“I almost did.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t. That’s what matters.”

Something about the way he said it made her chest tighten. She watched the flickering light dance across his face, normally so smug and unreadable, but right now, he looked… different. Open. Guard down.

“You surprised me, you know,” she said quietly.

“By not being a total ass?” he smirked.

“By giving a shit,” she said, nudging his boot with hers. “I didn’t think you’d actually get in the water.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, well… guess I don’t always do what people expect.”

They lapsed into silence again. Not uncomfortable, just heavy with things unsaid. Riley could feel the words forming in the back of her throat, unspoken and fragile: I like you. But she swallowed them down.

He probably didn’t feel the same way.

Duncan glanced sideways at her. She looked tired but strong, hair messy from the lake and wind, eyes glowing in the firelight. He wanted to say something too, something real. But the thought made his stomach twist.

Instead, he said, “You gonna be okay next time we hit the water?”

Y/N nodded slowly. “I think so. I mean, I’ll still freak out. Just… less.”

“You can always hang on to me,” he joked, but it came out gentler than usual.

She smiled. “I might take you up on that.”

Another moment of silence. This one stretched a little too long. She wanted to stay. He didn’t want her to leave. Neither moved.

Eventually, Y/N stood up, brushing ash off her hands. “I should get some sleep.”

“Yeah,” Duncan said, standing too. “Me too.”

They both hesitated.

“Night, Duncan.”

“Night, Y/N”

She turned and walked toward the cabins, the fire’s glow fading behind her. Duncan watched her go, scratching the back of his neck, heart beating faster than he liked to admit.

Why the hell did she have to make it so hard not to like her?

Y/N climbed the steps to her cabin, closed the door softly, and leaned against it with a sigh.

Why does he have to be so impossible to read?

Neither of them knew the other was standing on the edge of the same feeling.

But for now… that was close enough.

i cant wait to write them being so down bad for each other

reader is now officially head over heels for duncan <33

stay safe and drink lots of water <33

xoxo, Izzy

Taglist <3

@sc4rrc @casualluminaryobject @kys-kawaii0 @that-b-word-lol

if you would like to be added to the taglist, lemme know <33

[hockeygirl101]

The Lake House

Part five: Kiss and yell

The party had calmed down, Luke and Jack still in the back with everyone. I had snuck away to the front porch, I sway lightly on the swing. I hold a joint loosely between my fingers, Phoebe Bridgers played from the small speaker I stole from Theo's room. I take a long drag of the joint, inhaling deeply, holding it letting the smoke fill my lungs. I exhale with a small cough, I take a few more big drags. I ash out the joint and sit back letting the high take over my body. I can hear the slight nose of the Hughes clan in the back with my parents. Luke's college buddies have Jim and my dad acting like frat guys again. Everyone else is drinking and talking, winding down before going home.

I start to think about all the time I spent here when I was younger, how me and Luke would pretend there were fairies in the front garden. How me and Jack used to run all over the front yard with a hose and spray each other. I have good memories of this house, these people.

"You look lonely" a voice says from behind me, it sends a shiver up my spine. I turn and look at Quinn, he's standing beside the house, leaning on the railing of the porch.

"M'not lonely, just by myself." I mumble looking at him. The high making me less cautious.

"Is that so? Yale must be teaching you big things." He says moving over to the stairs, he sits down on the top one, his legs stretching down the rest. "You're happy there?" He says softly, as if it was supposed to be an inside thought.

"I am, the most I've been in a while." I reach over to the second joint I had brought out. I slip the lighter between my fingers, flicking the spark. Bringing it up to my lips, I look at Quinn. His mouth a slightly open, eyes dark. The porch light reflects in his hair, making it a golden brown. His hair had been grown out for the season, and he had yet to trim it. It looked good, maybe too good.

"What" I try to say with the joint between my lips, frowning at him

"Nothing, just sometimes I forget what you look like here. Carefree, happy." He says shaking his head like it's an embarrassing thing to admit. "Well I don't actually forget, it's engraved into my brain. But sometimes I forget just how good it truly is" he says looking down at his shoes, cracking his fingers"

"Quinn" I whisper out, not letting myself get sucked in again. He can't do this to me, he knows he shouldn't. Quinn always knows.

He shakes his head and stands up Turing to face me. "Don't do that. I mean come on Ave it's been years.I know I hurt you, that summer I really hurt you, I never wanted to but I did. I shouldn't have brought her here, this is our place. What happened that day we moved you into Yale was on you. Not on me, you." He says walking back down the steps. He looks back at me and sighs. "I just wish you could see how much we missed you, all of us. Jack loves you, and you pushed him away. Luke is your other half, and you left him." He's pushes me to a breaking point, brining his brothers into this mess, it's a low blow. Thinking about her, and him. It cuts me deep, I finally snap.

"Enough. You don't get to put that blame on me, everything is your fault. You brought her here, you told me to move on then got mad when I did. I had made my choice and you just didn't like it. So fuck off with your whole, I'm older and wiser bullshit Quinn. You aren't fooling anyone who truly knows you." I bite back at him, I'm so sick of his bullshit. He didn't even understand what he did to me, how he hurt me. I stand up and walk down the stairs, marching up to him.

"You don't get to act like you're some innocent little boy. You're a man Quinn, an adult. You knew what you were doing, you just thought you could get away with it." I poke his chest with my finger.

"You're right I am older, I am the adult here. But that doesn't excuse what you did. You dated Jacks best friend, in front of everyone." He shouts, stepping back. I scoff at his words, who does he think he is to throw that in my face? I had problems that I needed to sort out with jack, everyone knows that, And I will when jack wants to.

"So that's what this is about? You're mad I went out with Trevor for like one summer? Or are you mad I didn't come back?" I say walking after him, we're slowly moving to the backyard, where a few party goers turn to look at us.

"Fuck off you know it's more then that" Quinn barks at me over his shoulder. "It's not about the fact you moved on, it's about with who. I didn't care if you came back or not, but you hurt my family."

"Right, so if I had gone out with another guy you would have been fine? You wouldn't have kissed me in my dorm after you moved me in? You wouldn't have asked me to leave with you to Vancouver? Huh Quinn?" I shout after him, ignoring the looks of everyone.

Quinn stops and whirls around facing me, my chest bumps his. "You regret that kiss, that's fine. But you can deny you loved me, at some point." he says quietly, making me gape at him. This, this is the mood swings I can't deal with.

"What are you- that is so not what this is about" he looks down at me, his eyes have softened.

"I don't, I've thought about it for the past three years, that night in dorm after everyone left." He confesses, looking down at his shoes. I hear my mom let out a small gasp. Everyone's staring at us. I feel myself get hot, my skin is burning. He knows what he's doing, he's trying to get me to lash out, prove to himself I love him.

"Come on." Luke's suddenly beside me, leading me back into the kitchen. He sits me down at the small table, getting me a glass of water.

"What the fuck was that?" Luke asks in a hushed tone, sitting beside me.

"I don't even know. We were talking, then he brought up what happened. He started blaming me for everything. He brought you and jack up, he brought Trevor up. He was just mean Lu" my voice cracks as I let the tears slip.

"Ok, ok. It's okay I got you Bear. I got you" Luke wraps his arms around me, cradling me in his arms. I look past Luke, out the kitchen window, Quinn stands there. A sad, almost hurt look covers his face. I squeeze my eyes shut and bury my face into Luke's neck.

[analogwriting]

Beer Pong

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3.3k a/n: this idea came to me while i was obliterated and playing beer pong. the only thing i could think of was how much i wanted killer to rail me. also disclaimer, i'm actually ASS at beer pong lmfao. also also, only one version of this one bc it doesn't quite go that far whoops

“C’mon! Who else wants to challenge the undefeated champ of beer pong?” Your voice was loud enough for people to hear over the thumping music of the party that you and your brother were hosting. 

It was the same every year. The two of you would host an end of the year party and invite all of your friends, have them invite their friends who invited their friends and so on. It was one of the biggest parties of the year every year. It’s been a tradition at this point for about five or six years.

“I think you’ve officially defeated everyone, Bigs.” Your younger brother, Kid, chimed as he walked into the room you were in. This was also the same every year. Those who have been to the parties before knew how ruthless you were at beer pong. Some of them never tried challenging you again, some would practice throughout the year just to take you on again. Newcomers also challenged you. However, no one was able to beat you for the past three years.

You huffed, folding your arms. “That’s so lame!” How much you drank didn’t affect your ability to win either. You were somewhat sloshed and still crushing everyone at the party.

“I’ll challenge them,” you heard a deep voice come from behind you. The room you were in had several different entrances. You looked behind you, seeing the finest piece of man you’ve ever laid your eyes upon. Motherfucker took your breath away - almost. You blinked.

“Killer! You made it!” You turned, seeing your brother walking over to him to greet him. You watched in confusion for a moment. The hell kind of name was that? 

“Bigs, this is Killer, he’s one of the new teachers for one of my mechanics classes.” You blinked, nodding at him, still stunned by how unbelievably hot he was. 

“Killer, this is my older sibling, y/n.” Killer offered a small wave with a lazy smile that made your heart skip a beat and your body warm up. “‘S a pleasure. Heard a lot about you.”

You glared at your brother for a moment who shot his hands up in defense. “All good things, I promise.”

“Bullshit.”

He cackled, putting his hands back down. “You’re right.”

You felt your eye twitch, but you kept yourself in check. You looked to Killer. “You said you wanted to take on the challenge?” you mused, a devious glint in your eye as a grin spread across your face. You were going to absolutely obliterate him.

Killer matched your grin. “Absolutely. I’ve heard about your skills, so I figured I’d test the waters. I play a lot myself, actually.” He shrugged.

Kid spoke up. “They’re undefeated, so I’d proceed with caution.” Without looking away from you, Killer nodded. “No need. I think it’ll be fine.”

Now, who the hell did he think he was? He really had that much confidence that he thought he was going to beat you? Genuinely? You narrowed your eyes at him. You weren’t going to admit it, but his cockiness was insanely hot. Too bad you were about to humble the shit out of him. Nothing excited you more than being able to crush the dreams of the hopeful.

“Then take your place at the other side of the table.” You gestured.

He did as instructed and the game began. You started off strong, immediately sinking the first one. He tossed his ball and it bounced off one of them. “Oo, too bad. Sure it’s just a warm up, right?” you mused, grinning.

He just shrugged, sharing your grin. He didn’t seem to be worried at all in the slightest. 

You decided to give him a fair shot, purposefully missing some to keep the game going. Some of his that spun around the inside of the cup, you could’ve pulled in time but you let sink. 

“Stop doing that,” Killer said, folding his arms and narrowing his eyes at you as you missed another shot.

“Doing what?” You blinked. There was no way he caught on that easily. He’d never seen you play before, so how the hell would he know?

“You know what you’re doing.” You narrowed your eyes at him, putting a hand on your hip. “If that’s the way you want to be - fine. Don’t cry when I obliterate you.” You were pissed now. Who the hell did he think he was?

It wasn’t long before you knocked out most of his cups and he’d only gotten one or two of yours. He was about to toss when he paused. “What do I get if I win?” he asked, a mischievous look in his eyes.

You blinked, looking at the table. There was no way in hell this man was winning. It’d be a miracle. “If you somehow manage to make it back and win - I’ll give you the best head you’ve ever had,” you snorted, rolling your eyes. 

“I could’ve went my whole life without hearing that,” Kid chimed from the sidelines, making a face. You just looked at him. “Sorry not sorry. Maybe you shouldn’t be in here with the grown ups then.”

“You’re only four years older than me, Bigs, so shut up.” You both were in your twenties, but it was your duty as the older sibling to always hang it above his head that you were, in fact, older.

You just snorted, rolling your eyes before you heard a ball sink into one of your cups. You blinked, looking to Killer across the table. Lucky shot. “You should be focused on me,” he said, a glint of something wild in his eyes. It made your heart race with excitement. “You want head that bad?”

“Okay, I’m out.” Kid threw his hands up, heading out of the room and you just laughed, but you didn’t take your eyes off the man across the table from you.

Killer just shrugged, the corner of his mouth curling a bit. “Maybe.” You didn’t know what he was playing, but it excited you.

Honestly, you weren’t sure how it happened, but next thing you knew, you both only had one cup left. He had been able to distract you during your throws to make you miss, pulled out your ball as it spun in the cup, and sink every single one of his ping pong balls into the cups. People had started gathering, watching as you desperately tried to save face. You had no idea what was going on. You’d never been smoked like this before.

“Were you fucking toying with me this whole time?” you said, feeling your eye twitch as you glared at the man before you. He just grinned, shrugging. “I did say that I play too.”

With that, he sank his ball into your cup. This was your last chance - redemption. If you made it into his cup, you’d be safe and the both of you would go another round. You took a deep breath, not looking at him. You knew if you did, you’d fuck up and end up missing your shot.

You went to throw but heard him make a noise, drawing your attention to him. He looked at you, winking and licking his lips right as you threw the ball. As you predicted, you fucking missed, costing you the game. The room was silent for a moment, distant conversations heard in others rooms and music thumping.

Then it erupted into cheers. “That was the greatest game I’ve ever watched!”

“Holy shit, I can’t believe they lost!”

“Finally! Someone who was able to knock them down a peg!”

“Was kind of hoping they would win. It’s weird having a different reigning champ now.”

The conversations and cheers blurred together as you just stared at the cup across from you. You couldn’t fucking believe you just lost. Three years and you’ve never lost. Not once. Ever since you started playing, you were just fucking good at it. And now that was all over.

You didn’t even process that Killer had moved from his spot until you felt someone hoist you over their shoulder. You were yanked back into reality as you were lifted into the air. “What the hell?!” You noticed that it was Killer who had tossed you over his shoulder.

“I believe someone owes me ‘the best head I’ve ever had’,” he mused as he started carrying you towards the staircase that led to the bedrooms upstairs. This motherfucker had been planning this all along and you couldn’t believe you fell for it - hook, line, and sinker. Fuck.

Dammit. You just had to say that, didn’t you? You grumbled. As you were carried, various people whistled and cheered. “Yeah! Get it, newbie!”

“Gotta pay up, y/n!” 

“Taking your spoils from victory, huh?” 

You covered your face with your hands, feeling your entire body heat up with embarrassment. You couldn’t fucking believe this. And now everyone knew what was going to happen next and you couldn’t function. You just had to open your big mouth. God, you were never living this down. This was like the walk of shame only before the shag not after.

You heard him enter a room and close the door before setting you down gently. You still had your face hidden, unable to look at him.

“Y/n?” You were silent, not wanting to say anything. You were beyond embarrassed at this point. You felt his hands on yours, trying to pull your hands away. You kept them firm against your face and you heard him sigh, his breath dancing across your skin.

“Y/n, I’m not going to make you do anything. That was all for show.”

“Bullshit.” You finally removed your hands from your face, narrowing your eyes at him. “I’m sure you want nothing more than to put the mouthy brat in thei-” You stopped, noticing the concerned look on his face.

You blinked, processing. Oh, he was serious. You shook your head, pulling your hands away and pushing him towards the bed.

“Nah, I keep my word. So, you best get ready for the best blow job you’ve ever had.” He stumbled, plopping onto the edge of the bed in surprise. It took him a moment to catch up before he snorted. “I mean, I’m not going to say no to a free blow job, but we’ll see if it’s the best.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. He was using your competitiveness against you and it was working. How the fuck did he already have you figured out? You know what? What the fuck ever. You were going to give him the time of his life and make him beg for more.

You dropped to your knees right before the bed and in between his legs. “You know just how to get under my skin,” you grumbled.

“It’s not hard.” 

You just stopped for a moment, hands on his pants. “I will absolutely rip your dick off.” He just stuck his hands up with a snort. “I fold. I’d like to keep my dick. Besides, how am I supposed to rail you otherwise?”

You blinked several times. Oh? “You think you’re gonna rail me, huh?” He just grinned and you narrowed your eyes. You didn’t know what fucking game he was playing but you were about to bite his entire dick off if he kept it up.

You made quick work of his pants, undoing the buttons and pulling him out. Your eyes widened slightly. Jesus fuck, he was huge. Possibly the biggest you’ve been with. That thing could tear you in half probably. You could feel your own body heat up, it only made you more excited.

With as hard as he was, you were sure he’s been hard for a while now. “Beer pong your version of foreplay?” you mused, pressing a kiss to the base of his cock. He let out a hiss through his teeth, leaning back on his hands. “Not really,” he ground out. If these minimal touches were enough to make him act like that, you weren’t sure he was going to last long at all.

You began to slide your hand up and down the length of his cock, earning a small groan from him. “Not really? Then what was it then?” A smug smile spread across your face as you dragged your palm over his tip before running your hand back down again. You could already see his chest heaving. He was already struggling.

“Probably something to do with the really cute hot head across from me,” he ground out. You gasped as he called you a ‘hot head’, squeezing the base of his cock, causing him to growl slightly as he tilted his head back. Oh, you liked that noise.

“A hot head, huh?” Was he wrong? No, but you weren’t about to let him just call you that. You let go of him, standing up. “I believe I told you to stop playing these games, Killer,” you mused, turning and acting like you were about to leave when you felt him grab your wrist, pulling you into his lap.

You gasped, feeling your face set ablaze. His lips pressed against your neck as your back pressed against his chest. You went to pull away but his arms wrapped around your middle, pulling you in close. “Don’t be like that,” he cooed against you. You felt a shiver down your spine, your heart about to jump out of his chest. “I won’t do it again, I promise.” You had a small feeling he knew exactly what game you were playing, but he was going along with it. Probably seeing if you’d stick to your bit.

You swallowed hard, trying to keep yourself in check and trying to keep your attitude the same. You cleared your throat. “F-Fine.” You were trying hard to keep yourself together and not fling yourself at him.

“I’ll let it slide. This is your last chance.” You were fighting to keep your breathing even as you felt him smile against your skin. God fucking dammit. He was impossible.

You pulled away from him again and he let you go this time as you dropped between his knees once more. Your face felt like it was on fire as you suddenly wondered if you reacted exactly how he had planned. Was he some evil mastermind? No, it wasn’t that.

Jesus fuck could your mind just shut up. It wasn’t that deep.

You took his cock in your hand once more, feeling it twitch with excitement. You looked up as he licked his lips, watching you. Again, your face felt like it was on fire under his intense stare but you shrugged it off, pressing your lips to the tip. You felt his body shift as he leaned back on his hands once more, slowly melting as you began to run your tongue down the side of his shaft.

One of his hands found its way into your hair, tugging at it slightly as you began to slide the entirety of his cock into your mouth. The deeper you took him - the harder he pulled, making you moan around him. The sudden vibration caused him to buck his hips, shoving himself down your throat rather suddenly. 

Luckily for you, you didn’t really have a gag reflex, so you mostly just widened your eyes in surprise as you suddenly felt your throat stretch and your nose press against him. Fuck, you could probably reach your own climax just from giving him a blow job at this rate.

You slowly pulled off of him, making him groan lowly. You quickly found a rhythm and pace, beginning to bob your head and work his cock like the pro you were. This wasn’t your first rodeo sucking dick, but it surely was the biggest.

You just prayed you didn’t end up with lockjaw due to his size. That would be a nightmare; not to mention you’d die of embarrassment.

It wasn’t long before you felt Killer begin to roll his hips, pressing him further down your throat each time. “Fuck,” he breathed, panting heavily at this point. Honestly, he was lasting longer than you thought he would. You thought he would’ve finished the first time you shoved him down your throat, but he was still going.

With how much he was twitching and throbbing, you knew he didn’t have much longer anymore.

The hand in your hair suddenly grabbed you a bit rougher, keeping you in place slightly. Your eyes widened as you knew exactly what he was going to do next, so you relaxed your jaw and gripped his thighs as you braced yourself. His hips started thrusting much rougher now as he fucked the shit out of your throat. 

You definitely were gonna feel that in the morning. Not that you cared because honestly, this was the best time you’ve had in a while. Shit, you might have to keep him around.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt your own body heating up more and more. A coil was forming in your stomach, tightening with each thrust as you held onto his hips for dear life. Were you really going to finish just from this?

Part of you hoped that he wouldn’t be tapped out after this so you could keep going.

The man’s hips suddenly stopped as he shoved himself deep down your throat, releasing fully inside of you. It was enough to send you over the edge, moaning against him as you came yourself, making a mess of the pants you were wearing. Fuck.

Killer slowly pulled out of you, you carefully making sure you swallowed every bit of semen that he gave you as he did so. Once he was pulled out, you gasped for air. Both of you were panting; your head spinning rapidly, your body buzzing. Fuck, you hadn’t felt this good in a long time.

You felt him pull you up, kissing you hard and sloppy. Instantly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back, and moaned into him. 

After a few minutes of a hard make out session, he pulled away from you. Both of you were still panting, but a little less so than before. “You still have it in you to keep going?”

You looked at him with surprise, but excitement. You had hoped he’d have enough juice to keep going. “Mm, maybe. How’d I do? Best you’ve ever had?”

“Gonna have to start calling you Sloppenheimer with how bomb that head was.”

You stopped, looking at him with an unreadable expression. Then you stood up, throwing your hands up. “Okay, I’m out.” Just as your brother had done earlier.

Killer laughed. “Wait, no!” 

“No! Absolutely not! I can’t believe you said that!” You felt as he grabbed you around the waist pulling you back into bed. “That’s the dorkiest and dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!” you shrieked as he pinned you beneath him. You pouted up at him.

“You’re right. You’re right. I’m sorry. Should’ve saved that line for later.” He grinned, looking down at you. “You actually should never had said it because that was so lame.”

He just smiled at you. “You win. That was the best head I’ve ever had. Gonna have to keep you around,” he mused. You rolled your eyes.

“Oh, shut up and just fuck me already.” 

Killer just grinned, kissing you hard. You knew you were going to be in for a long night. And he was right, you were probably gonna have to keep him around.

[hikarimiyanaga]

The Queen's Bride (Part 1)

Summary :

Being a rich man's kid isn't as exciting as everyone makes it out to be.

You have no freedom.

Every choice has been made for you ever since you were born.

What you eat. What course you were going to study. What school you're going to.

Even the one you were going to marry.

So to your surprise, your father has finally chosen one thing right for you.

Daenerys Targaryen.

Warnings : Omegaverse. Stark!Reader. Omega!Reader x Alpha!Daenerys Targaryen. Modern!AU.

Look who's finally watching Game of Thrones. Surprise, surprise, I fell in love with Daenerys.

"This is bullshit!" Jon, your cousin, shouts as he paces around you.

Both of you were just given two names.

Two people you never met that you were going to spend the rest of your life with.

"Who the fuck is Ygritte and why do I have to marry her?" Jon shouts in frustration and you shrug.

"I mean, Father could've paired you with one of the Lannisters. Myrcella is an omega-"

"Shut up." Jon glares at you.

"You have to admit it. Ygritte is pretty as fuck."

"Lucky for Robb, huh? He's the heir so he could choose freely."

"She is. But- I don't know her, Y/N." Jon sighs as he sits next to you.

"Lucky asshole." You slap his arm.

"He's my big brother."

"He is. I wish I could be the heir."

"Seriously? You? Jon Stark of Winterfell Corp? Are you hearing me?"

"Shut up." The two of you look at each other then laugh. "Yours is pretty too, by the way. And a Targaryen too."

"Why them? Our mottos are literally parallels."

"Yeah. Winter is Coming."

"Fire and Blood. Like why her?" You groan at the ceiling.

"Just be glad that she's pretty. Some don't get that lucky."

"Are you talking about-" Jon nods and you sigh.

"I just wish we had freedom."

"Me too. Y/N. Me too."

-

You get your bag and look at the empty apartment around you.

"I need Sansa to room with me. Like gods, this place is fucking big enough for ten people at least." You mumble to yourself as you leave the apartment.

Just like everything else in your life. The apartment was provided by your Father, Ned Stark. You could count the number of times on your fingers that you've actually talked to him rather than just receive orders or scolding from him.

Your phone rings just as you get inside the Westeros University. You answer it as you see your little sister's name.

"Y/N! How are you?" You smile at Arya's voice.

"I'm good, Arry. Where are you?" How is she calling you right now?

"I'm at home. There was a lice problem at school today so we went home! Are you free??" You grin at her exciting tone.

"In two hours, I will be. Why?"

"Can we go play? Mom said she'll let me go to the mall if I'm with you!"

"Sure, can you wait there and behave?"

"Yep! See you later!"

"See you." You say softly and smile as you go to your first and last class of the day. You were so glad that you chose your own schedule. You sit down at your usual seat and hum as you take out your laptop. Looks like professor Varys is late today.

Westeros University is the biggest University in all of Westeros. It has lessons even in magic.

"Did you hear, Y/N?" You look up as Oberyn sits beside you. You were somewhat friends. He can charm anyone in a room while you can outread anyone in a room. Truth be told, even you didn't know why he talked to you.

"Hear what?"

"Not interested in rumors as usual?" He asks and you shake your head.

"Even if Varys tells us otherwise, I still don't like rumors and hearsays." Oberyn nods and grins in satisfaction.

"Which is why you make the perfect audience." You sigh. "Listen to this. Someone is doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Seeing if the dragons will choose them."

"Seriously? That thing hasn't been done in like 200 years."

"Right? But someone is brave enough to do it now. You know what it means, right?"

"Yeah. They get to sit on the Iron Throne regardless of their last name."

"And?" You raise an eyebrow at him in confusion.

"And what?"

"Complete freedom!" You tilt your head at him. "No more choices by parents! No arranged marriages!"

"Damn. Sounds like a dream come true."

"For you guys. I still don't get why you guys won't love freely."

"Because last names have a value of their own. Here at Westeros at least. Oh. And Westeros Conglomerate too." Oberyn shakes his head.

"What you guys should value is talent, not blood."

"Meritocracy rather than blood right. Reasonable." Oberyn looks at you. "I don't make the choices though."

"Marry the king then."

"I'd rather die, Oberyn. I'd rather eat my own shit."

"Still hate men?"

"Only romantically." Oberyn chuckles just as Varys comes through the door.

"You're missing out on like half of the world then." You give him a smile.

"I don't think I am."

-

You hum as you park your car in front of the Stark Mansion. You were just getting your bag when you feel a pair of arms circle around your legs. You look down and see Arya smiling at you.

"Hey, Arya!" You scoop her up and she squeals. Arya is only 9 years younger but you love doing this to her. "Where's Ma and Father?"

"Dad is still at work! Ma is inside!" You put her down and nod.

"Come on, then. I'll tell Ma that I'll take you to the mall." Arya grins at you and she begins to tell you about her classmates and school.

"And then this one guy-"

"Y/N! You're home!" Catelyn Stark rushes over and hugs you. You hug her just as tightly.

"Hey, Ma. Arya wanted to play with me and it's been months since I've been home so I figured I should take her."

"I'm sure she understands that you're busy with university and all."

"I know, Ma! But school is out and she said she was free." Arya pouts from beside you and you smile.

"I am free, no worries." You ruffle Arya's hair and she smiles at you.

"Be sure to be back for Dinner then."

"We'll buy some before we get home. Are Robb and Father-"

"Busy." You nod in understanding then take Arya's hand.

"You ready for an afternoon with me? Your best sister?"

"YEAH! We'll destroy those high scores in the arcade!" You grin and agree.

-

You come home with a passed out Arya, a bag full of plushies, and a bag with food.

"You actually made her sleep? You are a godsend." You laugh at your mom and grin.

"Once you get Arya's quirks and use them against her, she can make herself run out of energy."

"Please don't tell-"

"Ma, she wants to. She can afford to learn it still."

"But her marri-"

"She's still 9, ma. She doesn't need to think about that yet."

"Right. Are you staying for dinner at least?"

"Sure. Is Sansa-" Before you finish your sentence, someone has already hugged you.

"Y/N! Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" You turn around and find your other little sister, Sansa Stark.

"Well, I had to exhaust this one so." Sansa looks at Arya who was cuddling your neck still.

"Whoa. Arya never sleeps this early."

"Like I said. Exhausted. Are Brandon and Rickon here?"

"Yep! They should be getting back from Winterfell by now."

"What did they do there??"

"Father wanted to show them something. Are you staying tonight?"

"If you're willing to share your bed."

"ALWAYS!" You shush her and smile.

"I'll just be putting this one in her bed then I'll come down. Here." You give the bag full of food to Catelyn and smile. "Some of my favorites."

"I'll plate them up." You nod and begin your walk with Arya still sleeping while cuddling your neck.

"You're becoming heavier, Arya. I wonder if I should do some training just so I can carry you around."

-

"Y/N! You're back!" Brandon says then hugs you.

"Hey, little brother." You kiss his head and smile as he beams at you.

"SIS!" Rickon shouts then tackles you to no avail.

"Heya, baby bro." You pick him up and grin. "Did you grow??"

"I did! I'm defeating Arya soon!" You grin at him.

"Don't let her hear you!" You ruffle his hair then turn to Sansa. "Did you do your homework yet?"

"No? Will you help me later?" She gives you her puppy dog eyes and you groan at her. You admit that you're too weak to your siblings.

"Fine. But no talking about boys. I swear to God if I hear one more thing about-"

"But Ser Loras is just so dreamy." You look at her with a deadpan expression.

"Try me and I will sleep besides Arya." Sansa pouts.

"Fine. No boy talk." She grumbles. "Stingy."

"I'm gay. I'd rather marry another omega as long as she's a woman." Catelyn smiles as she sees you getting along with your siblings.

"Do not plant ideas in their head."

"Ma, Sansa is as straight as a ruler. These two don't even know what their second genders are." Catelyn rolls her eyes at you. "That reminds me, when's your test?" You look at Sansa as you place Rickon at his seat.

"This Monday! I'm so excited to confirm that I'm an Omega!"

"And if you're a beta?" You ask and Catelyn slaps your arm. "What? There's nothing wrong about being a beta! I wanted to be one before."

"You did?" Sansa asks and you nod. "Why?"

"More options." Catelyn hits your head and you laugh.

"Why? Does being an omega lessen your options?"

"Technically, I can't have another omega as my soulmate. Not that it matters."

"Oh yeah, dad said he sent you someone." You roll your eyes at that.

"He sent a file of someone. He wouldn't just let some stranger in my apartment."

"Who is it?? Can we know??" You groan at the excitement in Sansa's voice. There's nothing more that interests her than love talk.

"She's a Targaryen."

"The Dragon Family!" Rickon shouts and you ruffle his hair.

"Yup! Bran, do you know their motto?" Brandon hums as he gets some food.

"Yeah. Fire and Blood, right?"

"Yup! You all will get some ice cream. I brought some earlier." Catelyn glares at you. "What?"

"Cavities."

"I only visit once in a while, Ma. Just this once." Catelyn pinches your cheek. "Ow! Give! Give!"

"Just this once and don't ever do this again without saying anything to me."

"Yes, Ma! I got it! Ow!" Catelyn finally lets you go and you hold your cheek. You pout at her. "You didn't have to pinch that hard."

"You know how I feel about sweets." You sigh.

"I know. Sorry."

-

"Good thing the ice cream didn't give Rickon sugar rush."

"Yeah. It was a relief that Ma didn't pinch me."

"Those two boys really love you and adore you."

"They do." You look at Sansa and pat her hair. "I hope you become a beta, baby girl." Sansa scoffs at you.

"Wha- why!?" You smile sadly at her.

"So then you'll have more freedom." Sansa holds your hand. "Sadly. As an Omega, everything is controlled for you here in Westeros. Specially if you have a last name of a noble."

"Y/N." You squeeze her hand and grin.

"Hopefully, you and Arya get to decide your own futures. And your own partners." Sansa gets teary eyed at that. You let go of her hand then pat her hair again. "Time to get ready for bed. I'll just check on Arya for a second, okay?" Sansa nods at you and you close her door before covering your mouth with your hand.

Freedom. What a grand word. For you, it was thrown out the window when you got your test results.

Everyone says that Omegas have equal standings with Alphas. That the world is getting better.

"What a load of fucking bullshit." You mumble to yourself as you make your way to Arya's room.

You open the door and see that Arya is still fast asleep. You get to her bed and kiss her head.

"I hope you'll have more freedom than me, little one." You tuck her in and leave.

-

PS.

Jon is a Stark here and Catelyn knows he's Lyanna's son but no one knows who his father is. Let's just pretend for a second that he's not a Targaryen.

I actually was going to go the usual route for this aka Alpha Reader but decided against it. Omega Reader just works better for the angst inside my head.

[johnwickb1tsch]

Vino Veritas - Part IV

A Destination Wedding Frank x Fem!Reader Fic

Attending the wedding of your ex-fiancé gets slightly better when you meet someone having just as miserable a time as you... Warnings: Nothing too serious holy shit. Cursing. Broken engagement. Nihilism, existential bullshit, copious amounts of sarcasm. NSFW. Angst. Grump/sunshine trope. Loosely based on the movie but I'm not that smart. Or bitter. 😆 chapter map.

IV. Showering Together To Conserve Water

You are both tired as you return to the hotel, and maybe a little giddy from what you did in the backcountry of the vineyard. You certainly didn’t drink enough wine at the reception to be stumbling the way you are, and when you nearly trip over your tall shoes again Frank sweeps you up into his arms for the second time that day.

When you look at him with surprise he qualifies, “If you break an ankle, it will ruin my night.”

You chuckle to yourself, and rest your head on his shoulder. It’s a very nice shoulder, broad, solid. If you were braver than you are, you might even dare to think it feels…dependable. It doesn’t escape you, that he carries you like a bride over his threshold, on this day when you watched your ex-fiancé marry someone else.

Frank would be a much better prospect than Keith—but you are not thinking about that.

You’re trying not to, anyway.

The shine doesn’t even diminish while he curses as he fumbles to get out his key. It’s all highly entertaining, and very sweet, and that cloyingly painful ball in your chest only feels like it's growing.

He sets you down on the bed, and immediately sets about unbuckling the ankle straps of your shoes. “These things are an accident waiting to happen.”

“But they make my calves look amazing,” you defend.

He pauses to assess the body parts in question, nodding begrudgingly. “They’re quite nice on their own though. You’re a very attractive woman.”

This hits you a bit like a shovel to the head. You guess he’d complimented your clothes before, but it wasn’t quite the same thing.

“I think you’re very attractive too,” you confess, though you’re sure he already knows it.

The fleeting look on his face isn’t exactly surprise—but you dare think that maybe it moves him too.

“Excellent. We’ve had sex and now we admit we’re attracted to each other,” he deflects with a smirk. “However, I also think you’re dirty after our roll in the hills, and I am too. Want to take a shower?”

You can only presume he means together, and you nod.

*** 

At first you focus solely on washing, which is nice when he lathers his big hands up with soap and runs them all over your body. You’re all too happy to return the favor, which yields the inevitable arousal for both of you.

“I know it’s how it’s done in the movies,” he says between kissing you, “But if I pick you up to fuck you the odds are excellent I will slip and fall and we will both get hurt.”

You’re not entirely disappointed to hear this. You’ve always thought it precarious and awkward anyway. In answer you turn to lean on the shower wall. “How about this?” you suggest, standing on tiptoe to offer your ass up in the air, looking back with a mischievous smile.

“Maybe if we could get you a footstool,” he snarks, before engulfing you with his body behind yours, his front pressed to your back. He grumbles with appreciation as he kisses the back of your neck, his hard member pressing into your spine. “I think we can make this work,” he muses, his voice gone low and gravely with desire. That alone is enough to make you gush between your legs, and when he touches you he finds your slit slick and ready for him. It’s almost embarrassing, really, how much you want it with this man.

When he bends his knees to enter you the both of you moan, the wonderful pressure of his beautiful cock filling you up making you see stars.

It’s also embarrassing, how fast you cum on his fingers with his cock inside you like this, the hard clench of your walls bringing him right along with you again.

“Oh my god,” you pant, pressing your cheek against the cool tiles. You can feel the hot drip of his seed running down your thighs—it’s marvelous, if you’re being honest. It’s wonderful and you’re afraid you never want it to end.

“Yeah,” he agrees, leaning above you, leaving you feeling surrounded by his body and strangely secure in the shelter of his larger form.

“I never—” You stop yourself short, thinking that maybe it’s too much to confess this soon in your budding relationship, if this can even be called yet. Leave it to you, to scare him off straight out the gate.

“Tell me,” he says, almost gently, his throbbing manhood still inside you.

Fuck it.

“I never cum this quickly. I usually get freaked out that I’m taking too long, and it’s a nightmare, and I just end up faking it to make it stop. You are…” You evacuate the breath from your body, so that you don’t say something insane, like you’re a dream come true.

You tense, waiting for the inevitable snide comment that will shatter the moment, but it does not come. He just kisses the back of your head and slides out of you, so that he can stand upright again. However, he does not let go of you, holding you snug against the shelter of his body with an arm still looped around your waist. 

“That sounds crushingly disappointing,” he says against your ear.

“Yeah.” You’re not sure why your throat is suddenly tight, and that’s all you can get out at the moment. You guess before Frank, you weren’t that into it either. 

He turns you in his arms and kisses you again under the warm stream of the shower, so sweetly one would find it hard to believe he’s the same man from before. “I’m honored. And…same.”

“You’ve faked orgasms before?” you ask, incredulous.

“No, but you—this is the best I’ve had in a long time. So…same.”

You nod, and resolve not to pick at it anymore, happy with what you have for now. You rest with your head against his chest, catching your breath, your knees–and your heart–feeling like they’ve turned to jelly.

[rius-cave]

Most of the headcanons I've seen about Adamsapple in Eden were portraying them having a good relationship, like Lucifer being sweet and kind to Adam, overly interested in him, liking him etc. while Adam being way more innocent back then and of course very curious. While I like the idea of them being in love even back then and having this cute relationship between them, I also like to play with the thought that Lucifer didn't always like Adam (and vice versa). What I mean is, Lilith and Adam never really got along well, they had their constant conflicts and such, mainly rooting from their different personalities, as in I imagine Adam being this kinda obnoxious person who's full of himself, stubborn and doesn't like when things don't go as he wants (not exactly in a toxic way, like I don't think of him as an actual bad person, rather like a big child lol). While I see Lilith as a way more mature and collected person who's had enough of Adam's "childish bullshit". (I know it sounds kinda stereotypical but my goal isn't that lol I can just genuinely see it, also canon!Adam is a walking stereotype so it's hard to ignore it haha)

So, assuming that both of them were created at the same time, when Lucifer started visiting the garden he warmed up to Lilith first, they started spending time together. Lilith regularly complained about Adam, how he acted so childish/talked too much about insignificant things/followed her etc. (again, I don't think she was cruel, she was literally the first woman, had so much to learn and expressed how she couldn't get along with Adam). Lucifer listening to her all the time, and also being fond of her, involuntarily started to develop doubtful feelings about Adam. Of course Lucifer was sweet and kind, he didn't hate the man, but all of Lilith's talk had an effect on him, and Adam's behavior when they interacted just deepened it further (although Lucifer himself didn't exactly find him annoying, Lilith's talk just caused him to focus on Adam's "problematic" behavior more and he subconsciously confirmed Lilith's words).

Meanwhile Adam obviously noticed that Lucifer was spending way more time with Lilith and didn't seem to feel too pleasant about him, he was kinda offended about that and started to dislike Lucifer.

However, I can imagine them interacting at one point, cause like, Adam obviously felt bad about feeling excluded and that neither of them liked him, so once when it was just the two of them with Luci, he kinda snapped and confronted him about it. (I can't really imagine him as a person who keeps it in, I rather see it as he was offended which led to him becoming frustrated and telling it straight into Lucifer's face angrily.) So he told him that he doesn't understand why they both dislike him but it's not fair and he's so much better than them anyway yada yada but it was clear that he was upset and hurt. That would be the point when Lucifer realizes the situation and it would become a turning point in their relationship??

It got kinda long lol sorry

My dear friend, this? This is what I strive for.

I'll be the first person to admit that my characterization of their Eden personas is allllll over the fucking place. My apologies, I try to be better 😂 but I agree with you almost a 100%

I love depicting them as friends in Eden, but if I had to be realistic? In canon he probably didn't care much for him LOL or at least not as much as the fandom likes to believe. I also want to see more of this scenario with an adamsapple endgame, I'd like to do it myself, but to be truthful I wouldn't really be sure how to do it.

I like to think of Eden!Adam as, yes, more innocent, but he was still a bit of a shit, sarcastic and sassy (not an outright asshole, but his personality had a bit of a spice to it ya know?) I try to let this part of him show as much as I can in my newer depictions of Eden, but well I'm not sure if I've succeeded lol

I think that, if he's a brat now, he'd be even MORE SO in Eden. Basically, exactly what you said that he'd be obnoxious, full of himself and childish, just more out of a place of immaturity rather than malice.

I also really like this characterization of early Lilith. Yes, I absolutely see her as more mature and independent, more thoughtful and observant than Adam ever was, and of course those personalities clashed.

I absolutely love the idea of Lilith planting seeds of doubt in other people. In fact, that's a personal theory I have about the current Lilith and why Charlie's and Lucifer's relationship is so stranded. I think there must have been a lot of miscommunication and Lilith, whether on purpose or not, fed a lot of ideas about Lucifer to Charlie. She isolated her and fed her ideas about who her father was and what he thought of her, creating this wall between them that is now only starting to crumble down. So, the idea of her doing the same thing between Adam and Lucifer? Fuck yes. I want Lilith to be a manipulative bitch, whether she's doing that with malice or not LOL.

Adam immediately going head first into confrontation sounds very likely to me too! I'd absolutely agree, except I don't think this would make Lucifer actually realize the situation. Depending on how bad the argument was, I could see Lucifer thinking that oh Adam really is just that toxic or whatever other misunderstanding comes up. They're both idiots and unless Adam expresses his feelings with something other than anger, I think Lucifer would be more prone to bite back, or just simply not understand the deeper issues.

Overall I'm in LOVE with this description though!

[majaloveschris]

"he does all this because she is the one and he is so in love" /////

I believe everyone needs to realize if the above were true then there’d be no debate as to if this is a real or PR relationship.

The simple fact that so much comes out about them to drive or paint a narrative, only for Chris to be the complete opposite physically of how he expresses things ……says enough.

People can call us delusional for not believing this relationship, but I call those who blindly believe what’s purposefully crafted for you to believe gullible and delusional ….to think that this man who has been in the spotlight for 20+ yrs, whose expressed his emotions freely, who stated what he wanted in a relationship in the SMA article only to go public with the complete opposite two days later. To think he’s done a 180 in the worst way due to “being in love”…..nah, I’m not buying what’s being sold.

One has to ask themselves why are all these articles trying to paint him and her as so in love, yet REALITY based on their own body language and expressions show you the complete opposite?!

Show me ONE pic or video shot of them not aware they are being filmed acting or looking so “in love”.

(Oops that already happened …..in the park when he put his hand in his pocket as she reached for it.)

Even the purposefully crafted Valentine’s Day montage and the scare videos seemed fake and staged, every new update the past few months just adds to the speculation that this is bs based on their own actions.

What couple so in love acts like they don’t know or like each other like that. People claim we get a glimpse in their lives, but it’s been two freaking years of bs, regardless of not knowing their every move every single day, we can clearly see something isn’t genuine.

Even after the marriage confirmation from this man’s own mouth, it STILL doesn’t add up based on HIS own actions/inactions.

If Chris was genuinely happy and in love……we’d clearly see it, not have to “read” about it.

I agree with you! I think it's important to note that this whole "PR or real" debate started because of them. It started with them kind of alluding that something is going on with different things (NYE 1.0., LV, the follows and likes) while not admitting they are "together" and then continued with the NYC pap walk 1.0. As you said, if from the very beginning we'd seen how happy and in love he is, Team PR probably wouldn't even exist. I'm not saying there wouldn't be people out there who believe it's PR, but not this amount, for sure.

I agree that his body language is always off and weird around her, like he isn't comfortable or like he is forced to be there. And considering the things you've mentioned, everything seems so fake and manufactured. We saw him being out with his girlfriends for years, and I'm not saying they were always smiley and all over each other, but there were clear moments where you could see they were in love, but there isn't a single one with Alba.

I don't blame people who think this is real. Most people just don't care enough about them or simply think whatever they say must be true. I think there are people on both sides who are "delusional" (I don't really like using this word though), believing and creating things that are clearly bullshit, or thinking that everything that happens proves a point.

It's truly weird to see the contrast between the articles and their body language. They are supposed to be "the one" for each other, yet they behave more intimately with their friends and seem to be more comfortable and natural around them. His body language and behavior should be the three times of everything we saw from his previous relationship since he is "head over heels" for her, but where is that huge love? I don't see it.

I think the NYC Pap Walk 1.0. video you mentioned was a big turning point. I mean, that pap walk was awful, but seeing how tragic it was behind the scenes was really interesting. He clearly didn't want to hold her hands, and to this day, they always walk next to each other as if they were just fighting a few minutes before.

The VD day dump didn't help either. Everything just feels so unnatural, fabricated, and out of character for him. I know we don't know him, but we saw how he acted in this previous relationship, and maybe if I saw that huge love we are supposed to see, I would believe he's changed his habits, but I see the exact opposite. And the wedding story has a lot of plot holes too.

The words, spoken and written, just don't match the body language.

[magicratfingers]

hey! when you say you're doing konmari, what specifically *are* you doing? is it one of her books or a course or smth?? a lot of the struggles you've talked about working through with all of this are similar to ones I struggle with so I'm interested in giving something like that a shot!!

Hiiiii!!!! I’m followin her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. The whole deal! I started it with just whatever info was free on the internet but actually bought the book a bit into the process. The daily posts were to be silly but it became pretty nice to look back & stay with it. So I admit maybe I didn’t really do the first step “envision the life you want” part very deeply actually what even are the rules

Ok

Rule 1 yeah ok I was pretty excited to start I had always wanted to try it I once met a woman at a party who said everything she owned could fit in one box and I thought that sounded so cool and I just really wanted to do something kinda “big” I was feelin pretty stuck pretty overwhelmed and also Marie calls it a “Tidying Festival” which is so goofy and sweet

Rule 2 ok I kinda didn’t do much work here it was more like “idk man who even am I let’s find out” I had done something similar for a “nutritional therapist” (kinda bullshit but I don’t regret it) once and found it difficult so I really just have uh a brain feeling of ease and playfulness I’m thinking of as a lazy Sunday energy

Rule 3 I do get a bit stuck here in that I don’t always know where I want to put my stuff so I find myself doing some surprise deep cleaning. But! This means I’ve cleaned a ton of areas without wanting to cry or barf and it feels weird to admit as a grown ass gender but it’s probably the first time I’ve felt actual pride

Rule 4 - this and 3 are probably the secret sauce for me. It’s a nice structure and it keeps the steps simple enough to not freak out but just challenging enough to wanna do it.

Rule 5 the order did sound a bit random (clothes, books, paper, Komono, sentimental items) but it rips. Clothes are so unavoidably functional and emotional that it really is the easiest. Books are surprisingly aspirational?? Very “I want to be the kind of person that wants to read this” and I had to figure out how to divorce potential from actual appreciation. I did books three times. Like. I can just go to a library such low stakes with discarding books. Paper I wanted to die but what a gift

Rule 6 being the thing that everyone knows. I really have been making myself TOUCH THE ITEM and genuinely thank it. It’s also the part people don’t do?? Which is wild!? It’s so helpful??? Thanking things dissolved all the anxiety and loss aversion or guilt. It was also really fun to pick up something that gives you the giddy and imagine what it could be like to feel that for everything in the house. I mean why not it’s achievable. Oh also people think it’s about minimalism (it’s not) and getting rid of stuff you need (no) or replacing everything with a fancier thing (definitely not)

Oh wow I wrote a lot hahaaa

[wyniepooh]

Enjoyment

Dbf!hotch knows you’re not enjoying the festivities at a family dinner party. He tries his best to change your mind, and you both hope he succeeds.

Dbf!hotch... do I have to say more? Mentions of alcohol, Younger!reader, but R is fully an adult, obvi. R’s parents host a cutesy little dinner party, R has enough of the bs and escapes to backyard, hotch finds her. hotch is mildly out of character if u squint ur eyes, but he’s sexy nonetheless so it doesn’t matter.

the initial excitement of the party had long blown over.

you never did like having people over, never mind people who weren't immediate family. you had put on your usual polite-but-no-bullshit mask when greeting the guests and all throughout dinner, but the disguise was beginning to crack, your tolerance was beginning to thin.

now that your parents and company were all slightly tipsy and gathered around in the living room to recount their carefree, childless days, you didn't miss the opportunity to sneak out the stuffy room. Your eye caught a glass of liquor that was sitting on the kitchen island, and you quickly swiped it before heading out through the back door.

you didn't know whose drink you were holding in your hand, nor did you care what exactly was in the cup. all you desperately wanted was a break from the chatter and, perhaps, a break from reality.

you paced around your backyard for a minute, eventually settling down against an outside wall of your house. the cold bricks prickled your bare shoulders, but your senses turned blurry when you downed the mystery drink in one go.

"is that yours?"

the sudden voice startled the established, calm silence, causing you to cough and choke on the already hard-to-swallow liquid. as you tried to recover from nearly dying, you took the time to eye the man standing across the yard from you.

aaron- no. mr. hotchner.

you cleared your throat before answering. "oh, yeah. I, uh... love whisky."

"really?"

you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, nodding quickly. “really.”

"because i’m positive I left that exact glass on the counter when I went to go to the bathroom... and it's no longer there."

you sighed, looking down in defeat as you rubbed your face with one hand. "you got me. sorry, mr. hotchner, I just grabbed the first drink I saw and-"

he shook his head to stop you. "aaron- please."

you chuckled as you tested the way his name felt rolling across your tongue and slipping past your lips. you set the empty glass down on a stool in front of you, crossing your arms defensively. "well, aaron. just so you know, I'm legal to drink. the only thing I'm guilty of is being too lazy to make my own."

he smiled and started walking toward your lazy position against the wall. "I believe you."

a loud silence fell upon the both of you as he turned to stand beside you, mirroring your movements with his back up against the wall. as you stared up at the tiny stars decorating the sky, you weren't sure what you were supposed to do. offer to make him another drink? make conversation? Thankfully, your frantic prayers were answered when aaron spoke again, breaking the silence.

"so, I take it you're not a big fan of these dinner parties."

you turned your head to look at him and found that he was already looking at you. "is it that obvious?"

"yes."

you snorted. "well, that's not fair. you're a... profiler, or something, right? isn't it your job to read people's expressions and whatnot?"

"yes, that's right..." he admitted. "...but it doesn't take a profiler to recognize that a pretty girl isn't enjoying herself."

The last words came out in a whisper, but you heard them loud and clear. you mouth gaped as you struggled to think of what to say, and suddenly, you became too aware of just how close he was to you.

you looked him up and down, a blush creeping up your face as you took in the sight of his casual jeans and tight tee. his hair was gelled, but it was clear that the adventures of the night had messed up his previously perfectly coiled hairstyle. as your eyes found his again, your thoughts flickered between grazing his stubble with your finger or touching his smooth lips.

finally, you retaliated a response.

"well... how does a pretty girl who is enjoying herself look like?" you used the same hushed tone as he did, but again, your words rang loud and clear under the chilly night sky.

“I have yet to find out,” he murmured as he looked down at you. His weight was now being supported by one arm leaning against the wall as his other toyed with the hem of your shorts. He was a significant bunch taller than you, and while the height difference make you cross your legs to stop the heat from pooling, it also acted as a stern reminder of the obvious taboo between the two of you.

You wondered if he even remembers that you're the daughter of his best golf buddy, wondered if he’s been thinking about this for a long time or this was completely spontaneous. most of all, you wondered whether or not he truly cared about any of that at all.

God knows you didn’t care, no. Not with the drink you shot down earlier already taking effect in your stomach, sending tingles to all the right places and blurring out all the grim places and thoughts.

You reached down, hands first beginning by playing with the edge of his tee, then slowing trailing a finger down to his jeans. You scratched the brown belt lightly, fighting back a smile as you heard him sigh. You hooked one finger on the loop of his jeans, pulling his pelvis towards you as you looked up at him with an aching desire.

“can you figure it out, sir?”

He smiled with the same mischief you had across your face, the sides of his mouth curling up as he chuckled quietly.

“I'll try my best”

As he enclosed you with his body and smell and stupid smile, you thought to take back your earlier statement about there being no excitement present at dinner parties such as this one. Because you’ve never felt so alive, breathing against the chest of a man whom you knew you had no business entangling with.

-

A/n: tbh the moment I see the letters d, b, and f, ESPECIALLY w hotch I simply cannot resist. At all.

@hotchsdoormat @zaddyhotch @hotchscvm idk I feel like u all would enjoy this… 🙈

[all-pacas]

house live-ish blogging: damned if you do (oh you thought my other ones were long. buckle up)

the nun patient is played by elizabeth mitchell aka juliet from lost and it always distracts me. because i love juliet from lost. man lost was a great show

chase doesn't say a word in the first differential, which i'm noticing is a theme in these early episodes. it really is always cameron and foreman with the ideas. he chimes in with a point about treatment but that's it.

love that cameron takes it upon herself to decorate the office. she would. she is absolutely the type. i bet her house is always drenched in decor

also love chase dipping in real quick to grab one while they're center camera. (he needs to Chew Things)

chase hasn't bothered to particpate in the differential so far but he does chime in to hate nuns. the first of his many lies this episode btw

i'm not even making a joke about his s8 rebound nun - he admits himself the priests and nuns he knew growing up were the closest he had to family, and even in this episode he hardly can keep up the pretense: he starts off icy and avoidant, but the second the nun is upset and vulnerable he drops the bullshit and does his best to comfort her. he doesn't hate nuns. but i can buy he thinks he does, or maybe that he wants to: he lost his faith, he failed (and will continue to fail) that test, but he openly admires people who do have faith, who do believe in more. to me it reads like jealousy more than anything: she has something he wants. and he thinks he dislikes her for it.

"do you think it's the work of the devil, or do you just not get cable where you live?" chase's bad mood snark once again

actually i find his take in the argument cam and foreman have really interesting too: foreman thinks house screwed up, cameron isn't sure but isn't ready to be conclusive either way; when chase's opinion is asked he says "if house is right, then this; if house is wrong, then that." he doesn't actually answer at all (although he implies he'd rather house be right because it makes his life easier). he does the same thing in s2 iirc, and later in this episode: when asked to give an opinion he'll often skirt around and avoid giving one.

"did you always want to be a doctor?" LONG PAUSE "always" i think about this every fucking day. second big lie from chase this episode. he probably always knew he would be a doctor. it's also, come to think of it, a different take than his (equally fake) tonsil story. i wonder how many different version he's told!!

we really don't talk about foreman's religious leanings and baggage enough btw. because. he basically says here he believes in god. he and cameron rehash this same discussion in house vs god (i love the implication that they just have fun little debates like this sometimes), and he implies the same thing, but always in a way like… "if there's a higher order, obviously it is concerned with humans." in house vs god he says something like "the question of god existing is the most important question," which, sorry foreman, really is only true if you already believe and care (it also comes up a lot in euphoria, and in forever; there's probably also a reason chase told foreman he prays sometimes while trying to comfort him in house training) -- anyway i fully believe foreman fully believes he's an atheist, staunch and rational and cool, but. he clearly was raised in a religious-ass house, and clearly internalized a lot of it. and, i think just as clearly, unlike chase has no religious trauma or baggage: he tends to feel pretty positively about it for something he doesn't believe in, you know?

"what about you, chase? you believe in god?" chase: "oh man look at this mri" hahahha love this man's refusal to state even the most obvious of opinions (i actually think chase's answer is no, but that he also very much wishes he believed).

cameron once again acting as chief asskisser, coming up with 18 other ways house could secretly be right this whole time

and as soon as cuddy takes over, cameron also tries to chime in with "house thinks :)"

nice wardrobe touch: foreman and chase both pull on their suit jackets before meeting with cuddy. chase also puts on a tie

love how annoyed cameron and chase are with foreman for ratting lol. like for real, these early episodes really do set up foreman as this new/opposing force to house, with cameron and chase as the sort of… loyalists. (which they are, but we haven't hit the crush/lapdog eras at all)

this early episodes are fun because wilson actually seems like he has a job and doesn't just hang around house all day. what's that like

ugh i love this scene with chase and house. it's actually the first scene they have together in the show and it's just. can you believe THIS is the first scene with just the two of them. chase actually pushes back on house and doesn't give an inch: "my mother's been dead ten years" and not "what do you want?"; "which nun? why do you say that?" - everything house says, chase pushes back on. "i don't know nuns." "maybe i hate them on principle." chase doesn't say anything. everything house throws out he denies immediately. it's honestly fascinating, it's also not remotely the last time: to go back to what the nun tells him, it's not that chase is a good liar (it's very obviously he is lying), but he really, really doesn't budge or open up or allow house's prodding to land. he does the same thing in s8, in chase: i know you want to know this. i will not tell you. i know you'll help me, because my not telling you has gotten you invested.

"i have a theory of what makes good boys good --" and chase just starts blinking rapidly, i love it. i think chase is hand's down an angry crier (case in point: lockdown. cursed. right now).

HOUSE: I have a theory on what makes good boys “good”. It’s not because of some moral imperative. Good boys have the fear of God put into them. Catholic Church specializes in that kind of training, to make good boys afraid of divine retribution so they will do what their daddies tell them, like, for example, going into medical school when it’s the last thing they want to do. What do you think?

dead to rights he's got him dead to rights. chase never wanting to go to medical school is. it's so overlooked. i mean, we know it, but he's so good at this that it's easy to forget. and yet again: chase doesn't budge. he doesn't say i went to catholic school. he definitely never says i wanted to go to seminary.

something about this compared to hunting actually. kalvin and cameron talking about doing what's right ("good") vs what makes you happy. satisfaction vs happiness. cameron scheduling fun on a calendar. i used to be a good boy, says kalvin. chase, who is 'good,' who does what he's told, who has always done as he's told. who has jumped from one authority figure to another his whole life. something

something i've always liked about this show on a meta level is how it tends to treat religion fairly evenly: house hates religion and is loud about it, but chase's rotisserie chicken of catholicism is treated seriously, and minor religious characters run the gamut - it would be easy to make the nuns in this episode silly and "wrong," but instead the mother superior is reasonable and kind, the nurse one is petty but intelligent, they're not made fun of for believing or proven right or wrong by the narrative. the show does this a lot: it isn't interested in any sort of Gotcha!! of atheism or faith, and tends to allow characters their beliefs. i like that honestly. it would be very easy for house to treat the religious like the clinic patients, you know? instead, the jewish convert lady truly just found faith. the rebound nun chooses to be a nun and will be happy with it. the cast falls across a wide spectrum of religious views from "devout" (cole) to "raised religious" (foreman) to "chase" (chase), to cameron's staunch atheism and taub/wilson/cuddy's deeply reform judaism.

CAMERON: Maybe House was right. Maybe there is an underlying condition that explains the symptoms, something we haven’t considered. CUDDY: Like what? CAMERON: It could be a metabolic disorder. CUDDY: Specifically? CAMERON: Mitogenetic. CUDDY: Specifically? CAMERON: I’m just saying – CUDDY: You’re just saying you think House is right. CAMERON: Might be right. CUDDY: Of course he might be right! It might be the Hand of God at work. Don’t say it’s something else unless you’ve got something concrete to offer.

i've always liked this exchange, because it would be very easy to make cuddy the 'bad guy' in this episode for not agreeing with house, and the delivery on these lines are very "okay, and?" instead of argumentative: cuddy is making some good points, and that point is, cameron, stop kissing house's ass if you don't have anything lol. written down it seems much more argumentative but as filmed it's very reasonable, i just like it idk. also chase, take notes, you will never exhibit as much blind loyalty to house as cameron does in these early episodes l m a o

cameron is all proud of herself when foreman points out it's an allergic reaction like she initially suggested - and house immediately shuts that down by pointing out cameron didn't stand by it. fascinating little reaction, especially given how hard cameron has gone this episode in defending him: house doesn't give her credit for asskissing at all, but we see later in heavy that she really does feel like her loyalty should be rewarded. cameron also very much loses this trait later on! but house really is not interested in being pandered to or defended. we actually see he pretty consistently prefers and appreciates and likes to surround himself with people who disagree: foreman is the ur-example, but taub was pretty blatantly hired for the same reason. but also it's like. huh! cameron really spent all episode sticking up for house and he could not give less of a shit. they really have an interesting dynamic in s1.

chase IMMEDIATELY dropping his i don't give a shit, i am aloof and uncaring act when the patient is upset is so. he's so bad at pretending he doesn't care lmao. and don't get me wrong: he sometimes to often actually does not care, but. the second he connects a little, he goes all in, you know? he can't do cameron's brand of nice to everyone; he either freezes you out or falls over himself. no middle ground

i have talked about this before but chase's favorite bible verse being essentially "the more you struggle and suffer the more god loves you, so stick with it, seriously" is just. WOW. w o w. of course he'd pick that one. of course he probably clung to it for fucking years. my guy

he's actually really good at talking to her about this. which is so insane from chase, especially at this part of the series, where he's never really spoken to a patient before: we saw him schmooze in the pilot, we saw him very awkwardly try to comfort the mother in maternity, but this is the first conversation, and it's also the first time we've seen him be earnest and serious like this: usually he keeps his head down, shuts people out, stays fairly quiet. it's a sharp contrast, you know? i also wonder what his mother was like when she died, given chase's your faith will affect how you experience your death and his much later comments that she died with him hating her…

cameron trying to comfort/reassure house and getting dismissed again. she then gives him a christmas present. i'm not sure if we're officially meant to see this as her Crush Arc: i honestly feel like at this point cameron would act this way for anyone (and hasn't gotten anything to really "trigger" her feelings -- they had a moment in maternity, kinda, except she was really mad at house about it; same with pilot and his trying to figure her out), but the scene is definitely staged in a sort of loaded tension way. cameron also gets a mystery christmas gift at the end of the episode, but tbh, i have never believed house would have done that lol. like i know we're supposed to think that. but. given how he acts every other christmas episode, given how little concern he's shown cameron so far … you know?

i am not here doing hameron denialism. if anything i'm actually really interested in watching these episodes to figure it out from a meta/direction perspective. they definitely start pushing it by mid-season. but i'm just saying this episode does not really make sense to me, even if i suspect we're supposed to see it as sort of romantic. cameron is defending him beyond reason and dismissed for it; their interactions so far have otherwise been her being angry at him for prying; house has betrayed no real vulnerabilities or personal interest in cameron besides figuring out her Deal. there are moments later that makes sense to me. this ain't it.

do love chase barging in and cameron jumping back from house lmao. SYMBOLISM FOR YEARS TO COME

going back to my thing on religion earlier: house refutes all the nun's points on miracles, but the nun is very much given the last word on the debate; she's not shamed or convinced and if anything house seems to come around to her side (he decides to let her check out AMA); he respects her faith for what it is, if not her beliefs.

chase being called the prodigal son……………………it's so clear that none of the later seasons house's successor bullshit was planned for now (it's so obviously foreman) but MAN do we love Accidental Foreshadowing. man do we ever

foreman in a santa costume handing out gifts………hahahaha it's cute but it's so "oh that was sooooo abandoned as a character beat" of him. s2-8 foreman would never

chase turning away from the chapel!!! my guy!!!!!! like i've said before i bet he sincerely, despite all evidence, truly believes he is no longer religious and has no religious feelings. i think he thinks he's a super atheist. because he is so fucking dumb

i think this is the first time we get house playing piano??? man

[criminal-sen]

Ranting about terminally online queers below the cut (tw misgendering and um. Idk I guess transmisandry? Is the word? Or maybe just misandry idfk but there's some terfy man hating is all I'm trying to convey here)

Hsvsgshshwh so my partner, who for the purpose of this post I will admit looks like a big, imposing cis male (they are very much nonbinary and fucking HATE being he/him'd, but it's relevant to point this out) keeps getting into these fucking.. pickles??? with the local queers, specifically those of the transmasc variety? (Well okay that's not quite true, as one was a cis woman whose variety of queerness I can't fn remember rn, and she's undoubtedly, by FAR, caused the most harm in this whole debacle, to the point where i dont even feel comfortable discussing it, and wont, but I digress) and it's varied from person to person, but the constant is that they basically meet my partner on whatever fuckin dating platform, IMMEDIATELY mark them as 'dangerous and potentially predatory man', yet this marking is seemingly *just* far back enough in their subconscious that they engage in anything from.. flirty/sexual msging with them, all the way to actual physical hookups

and then, in HINDSIGHT, long after the fact, decide that their consent has been breached in some nebulous way and they've been harmed??? And this would be one thing if they were going to my partner and saying this, but no they're going around saying it everywhere else!

And let me be perfectly fucking clear: consent and boundaries are very important things! And to feel like those have been encroached upon feels shitty! But when you're talking about shit so fucking TEPID and IN YOUR HEAD as 'we were having a discussion via text about BDSM and after we were done, I felt icky, so I'm going to tell ppl I was harmed' then guess what! The only harm that's being done here is to my partner, by spreading around your stupid, EXTREMELY online understanding of what these terms are and why they exist in the first place

Like I know my partner pretty well at this point. And I know they're 1) always sober, at least from substances like booze that might cause one to be overly flirty and miss cues. Like they literally jist smoke weed avshsbdv and 2) extremely read-up on current language/discussion around How To Behave within the queer community, and yes this includes COPIOUS checking of the other person's mental state and whether they're still into whatever is being done

Like the only thing they're 'doing wrong' in the eyes of the ppl saying this shit is looking like a spooky scary cis man. Which they're not. But they can't fucking help how they look, especially when they're over 6 ft tall and fucking bald:/

And like. All of this is super frustrating to hear about, like it just keeps HAPPENING. And the part of me that's salty about the polyamorous nature of our relationship (not from a jealousy standpoint per say its just. a whole can of very insecure worms) wants to tell them, with all my heart, that maybe they should stop fucking around with Sensitive Queers they've barely (if at all) even met. And jist keep it in their fuckin pants for fucks sake, at least until they know the person on even the barest level. Because some of these ppl are fucking tar pits, I'm sorry. And the t4t hookup scene in this city reeks of terminally online AND small town bullshit, and they're already getting a very quiet but definitely non-zero Reputation. Like I can't even tell my transmasc group (who I finally met in person the other day btw) who I'm dating bc they're the ones doing this shit like oh my fucking god how Exhausting

But that's not a suggestion that can come from my mouth without sounding um. very shitty. so I make a post about it instead:)

[creedslove]

It can't be just me who thinks abour what genre of movies pedro boys are into. For example dave is surely into horrors but Marcus into romcoms! 🌝

Featuring: Javier Peña, Joel Miller, Agent Whiskey, Dave York and Marcus Pike x f!reader

A/N: this is so sweet anon, and also, I skipped Javi G because he is affectionate for movies and he likes them all 🤌 lmao

Javier Peña: Javi likes action movies, he thinks it's so entertaining to watch stuff explode and guns and drugs and all that shit because he is a cop and he's able to tell what is real and what's not, it's just fun, but overall Javi watches a little from everything, whenever he's at the movies it's because he's usually taking a girl on a date so they can pick whatever they want

Joel Miller: Joel is also into action movies, he just like explosions, gunshots, fight scenes and all of that shit, he's also into horror thought it ain't his favorite and after Sarah was born he had to open his horizons to a lot of princess, Barbie and animation movies, which they found out they are all pretty entertaining... does he enjoy them? Yes! Does he admit it? No! Does he know how to sing the songs? Yes! Would he rather die than let anyone know about it? Also yes

Agent Whiskey: our sweet cowboy is a walking cliche and his movie taste had to be a cliche as well: he likes cowboy movies! Old western movies are his favorite but I see our big old Jack being into movies like Grease, The Blues Brothers and Saturday Night Fever, and I'm sure he likes Star Wars because it's about cowboys in space... sorta... in a way

Dave York: Dave thinks movies with death thematic are entertaining like horror, action etc because well he understands a lot about it and I'm sure he is able to tell what's cool and what's bullshit, he seems to me the kind of man who would enjoy documentaries too

Marcus Pike: I don't think Marcus likes romcoms, that man has had enough heartbreaks to know shit doesn't work that way, but we do know he likes classic movies, he enjoys black and white movies, and I'm sure he would be a cute geek too so you can expect all star wars and star trek movie marathons and that kind of stuff