#and stretch your wrists and neck and take any meds you have

[scientia-rex]

Hi Dr. Kristophine, do you have any advice on what kind of information doctors need for medical issues that are more nebulous than "my knees hurt"? I've been feeling Weird and Bad in a way that has me concerned, but I'm afraid to make an appointment because I don't know what to say that will get the Weird and Bad feeling across in an actionable way. Going to the doctor takes SO much energy that I don't have to waste and I don't want them to just take a blood test and say everything's fine go home (again).

The best thing you can do with medical information you're trying to prepare for your medical provider, as a lay person, is be as specific as possible.

-Location: Is it one place in particular, or everywhere? Does it stay in one place, or move around?

-Timing: When did it start? Did it come on suddenly or slowly? Does it happen continuously? Does it come and go? Is it always there to some extent, but it gets better and worse? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being fine and 10 being the worst you can imagine, how bad is it at its best, and how bad is it at its worst? How much time does it spend really bad vs only kind of bad?

-Quality: If it's pain, is it aching, burning, stabbing, dull, electrical zap, etc.? If it's not pain, what is it? Is it discomfort? Is it weakness--i.e., you can't do that thing? Is it fatigue--like maybe you can still push through doing the thing but it feels like you're trying to wade through mud to do it? Is it a racing heart, sweating, pressure?

-Triggers: Does something in particular set it off? A time of day, a food, an action, a medication, a thought? A surprisingly common trigger for migraines is sitting still with your neck in one position. (New research suggests that necks are critical to migraine formation, to which I yelled out loud at the paper, no duh!) There may be triggers you haven't noticed; try keeping a symptom diary, where you note down when you have episodes and what you were doing beforehand, what you ate that day, menstrual phase, etc. Any detail that you can remember, whether or not it seems relevant at the time.

I cannot tell you how many times I've dug deeper into a chronic issue only to discover that the patient can, in fact, tell me what the trigger is, but because it's something important to them, they simply haven't noticed. May subconsciously even avoided noticing. Do you get migraines every time you DM? Do you need to work a stretch break into your D&D session?

There can also absolutely be multiple triggers--I know I'll get migraines if I don't sleep, if I'm sick, if I sit still for too long, if I have dental work, etc.

So bring in all the info you can. Write it down if you're afraid you'll forget. Don't hand it to the MA, too many doctors will go "oh my GOD they brought a LIST how high-maintenance" and tune out. Hang on to it but tell them about everything.

I don't expect patients to be able to tell me "I believe I've had a left radial styloid fracture" but I do expect them to tell me "I fell and tried to catch myself with my left hand and now my wrist hurts," and that's good enough. The rest of it is my job. When it's something more vague, like "I started feeling different and bad about six months ago," any other information helps. Did you start a new med around then? Are you going through menopause? Do you struggle with anxiety? Do you have first-degree relatives (parent, sibling, or child) with genetic disorders, autoimmune disorders, etc.? Do you have a history of anemia? Are you vegan? Have you started having night sweats and unexplained weight loss? Did you recently travel internationally? This can go a lot more different directions than a hurty wrist, so bring in all the info you can.

And keep in mind that modern medicine is very limited--much more so than most people think. There is an excellent chance that medicine will not be able to diagnose your condition. It may still be able to offer treatment. It may fall on your shoulders to manage it as best you can, knowing that doctors don't have answers. Nobody can tell me why I have chronic pain, and I don't mean as in "I've asked doctors and they don't know," I mean "I've personally scoured the literature and had the relevant and appropriate tests and no one can know at this phase of medical knowledge." So I deal with it, I've stopped trying to push myself past my reserves because people who can't admit to ignorance tell me to, I keep my painful body moving because that helps, I do PT, I take a multivitamin occasionally because I know my diet sucks. I manage.

There are not always right or wrong answers--I don't take gabapentin, because I don't want the sedation and kidney exposure, but patients with my exact symptoms might find it helpful and may find the risks and costs worth the benefits. My mother, who has whatever it is that I have, right down to the tricky stomach, from whom I presumably inherited it, has taken medication at different points in her life, depending on how much pain she was in and what other responsibilities she has, and that is perfectly reasonable. Autonomy matters. People have to be able to make these choices for themselves, with assistance but not paternalism from their medical professionals, because the math is different for everyone.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Time for a Check Up!

Hello! How are you doing today? Have you taken care of yourself/your system lately? We’d like to ask you some questions to help you check in with your body, mind, and headmates! This list of questions is not exhaustive - there may be some things we’re missing that are important when it comes to managing your self care. This is just something to get you started if you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or just Bad and need some direction to figure out what’s been bothering you lately.

Physical Health Check Up!

Nourishment: When did you last eat? What did you have for your most recent meal? Have you eaten any fruits or vegetables lately? How about something substantial, like grains, rice, potatoes, or pasta? Or something with protein, like eggs, meat, or legumes? Do you normally take a multivitamin? If so, have you taken one today?

Hydration: When did you last have something to drink? When did you last drink water? Do you have a water bottle or beverage nearby that you can sip from regularly? If you don’t like water or can’t drink it for any reason, how about some milk, juice, coffee, or tea? Any liquids are better than none at all!

Rest: Have you been getting enough sleep lately? Does your sleeping space have everything you need in order to get proper rest? Do you need: a security blanket/plushie, a night light, an air purifier/humidifier, a white noise maker, an extra pillow, a water bottle nearby, or anything else in order to ensure your sleep is restful at night? Are you tired, groggy, or exhausted right now? Can you take a brief, 15-20 minute nap? Can you lie still and close your eyes for a while?

Physical Exercise: When was the last time you got your heart rate up? Is there an exercise you enjoy that you can do occasionally? When have you last stretched your muscles - your hands and wrists, arms, neck, back, feet, and legs? Every body is different, but almost everyone can benefit from regular exercise, even if it’s light! How about taking a walk, doing some squats or sit-ups, lifting some light weights, playing a game or sport outside, or going for a swim?

Mental Health Check Up!

Medical (this could be physical too): Did you take your meds today? Do you need to refill your pills box/dispenser? Do you need to refill any of your prescriptions? Are you keeping track of any upcoming doctor’s appointments?

Mental Exercise: Have you solved any problems/exercised your brain lately? When was the last time you built a puzzle, solved a math problem, or played a word game, sudoku, spot the difference, or other sort of mind-strengthening game? When was the last time you tried to learn something new? Have you had any meaningful discussions, read any interesting books or articles, or used critical thinking lately?

Leisure: When was the last time you did something you enjoy, just for yourself? Have you checked for tension in your body and relaxed your muscles lately? When was the last time you treated yourself with something tasty? Have you listened to some music you love recently? When was the last time you cuddled a pet or plushie, watched a calming/silly show or movie, played a low-effort video game, or done something to decompress and have fun?

Self-Expression: Have you done anything creative lately? Have you recently tried to express your thoughts, feelings, and ideas somehow? When was the last time you journaled? When was the last time you wrote stories or poetry, drawn, sketched, or painted, worked with modeling clay, made a collage, or experimented with another art form? When was the last time you created art just for you or your system, and not for others?

Cleanliness Check Up!

Mouth Hygiene: Have you brushed your teeth today? When you brush your teeth, are you getting your molars, the backs of your teeth, your gums, and tongue? If your toothpaste/toothbrush causes sensory issues, have you tried children’s toothpaste, fruit-flavored toothpaste, and a soft-bristled toothbrush? Have you flossed today? Do you need to use a WaterPik/water flosser or a plastic floss pick to help you floss? When was the last time you used mouth wash? If your teeth are sensitive, do you need special toothpaste to help rebuild enamel?

Body Hygiene: When was the last time you bathed? Do you need a shower chair, bath floor grips, or another accessibility tool to make bathing easier for you? If bathing is difficult, do you have wet wipes handy to help clean under your arms, your groin, and in between folds of skin? When was the last time you washed your face or brushed your hair? When was the last time you trimmed your fingernails and toenails? When was the last time you cleaned your ears? Do you need to change into some clean clothes? Even just a fresh pair of underwear can help a lot!

Living Space: When was the last time you tidied your bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, or other living spaces? Have you checked your house for stray dirty dishes lately? When was the last time you swept or vacuumed your floors, scrubbed your sinks, dusted, or wiped down your countertops? When was the last time you washed your clothes or bedsheets? Can you think of any accessibility tools that might make maintaining your living space easier? Have you considered making a chore schedule to balance out housework throughout the week? Living in a clean home can help improve your mental health and boost your mood!

Relationship Health Check Up!

Inside: How recently have you checked in with your headmates? Is there a member of your system who is struggling more than the rest who you can try to connect with? What have you done lately to help build your relationships and strengthen your bonds with your system members? Have you done anything nice for your headmates lately without expecting anything in return? Have you had any conversations with your headmates one-on-one lately? When was the last time you tried to get to know the different members of your system? When was the last time you communicated your needs to your headmates, and tried to learn their needs as well?

Outside: When was the last time you spoke to your friends and family? Is there anyone you care about who you don’t live with who could use a text or phone call? Have you recently had a good conversation with someone in your life? Have you shared something with a loved one lately? Have you told someone in your life how you’ve been doing lately, or asked how they’ve been doing as well? Have you been communicating your needs and expressing yourself to your friends, partners, family members, or caregivers? Have you let someone in your life know that you love and appreciate them lately?

Wrapping up!

Remember, when it comes to self-care, every little bit helps! It’s better to do something small and simple to take care of yourself, your body, or your system than nothing at all. We hope this post is useful to some of y’all, especially others like us who might struggle to know how to take proper care of ourselves!

Please try to treat yourself and your headmates with gentle kindness today, and remember that it’s okay to not be okay! It’s okay to struggle, and it’s okay to have difficulties with practicing self-care. We just wanted to check in with some questions you can ask yourself to make sure you’ve been meeting your needs. But even if you can’t meet all your needs, we hope that you can do something small to help yourself feel better!

As always, thanks so much for reading, and take care!

[whump-about-it]

Bedridden/ Semiconscious/ Light Sensitivity

@whumpril day 28 

CW: capture, implied torture, implied strangulation, concussion, prescription drugs (administered responsibly), abandoned whumpee, disregarded mental state. 

Caretaker woke up with a start. They hadn’t remembered falling asleep in the first place, but it had been the kind of slumber that had left them wondering where they were and what century it was. It took a few groggy seconds before they were able to recognize that they were lying in a bed in the infirmary, with Medic staring at them from across the room with an eyebrow raised. 

“Bad dream?” Medic asked sounding half amused, half concerned. 

“Did I pass out?” Caretaker ignored Medic’s question and rubbed the rest of the sleep out of their eyes. The lights in the infirmary were too bright. Caretaker had been awake for all of 30 seconds and they were already getting a headache from the harsh they were. Then again their whole body was sore. It felt like they’d been hit by a truck. 

“Only from exhaustion” Medic told them and put down the paperwork they’d been reading when Caretaker woke. “Though you do have a mild concussion. I finished your stitches and you were out like a light. I didn’t even get a chance to give you pain meds. You want any?” 

Right. They remembered the stitches, and the concussion. And last night. Whumper. The rescue.

“Whumpee!” Caretaker swung their legs over the edge of the bed in a sudden panic. The overly bright lights and their body pains temporarily forgotten. The panic was partially quelled though when they immediately saw Whumpee lying in the bed next to them. 

They didn’t look good by any stretch. Their entire face seemed to be one big bruise. One of their arms were in a sling, and the other was heavily bandaged from shoulder to wrist. There were shallow cuts on their neck, poking out from under a bandage Caretaker knew was covering a ligature mark. They had been with Whumper for less than a week, but they looked like they’d lost a significant amount of weight. And the very little unbruised skin they could see was pale and waxy. 

Whumpee did however, look alive. Caretaker could see their chest rise and fall as they breathed and a screen next their bed showed a steady heartbeat. 

“They’re still stable” Medic reassured Caretaker as they stood up painfully (one of their own injuries included a twisted ankle) and hobbled over to Whumpee’s side. 

“They haven’t woken up at all yet. But vitals have been regular and there’s no internal bleeding. They’re going to make a full recovery” Medic nudged Caretaker and held out a glass of water and few painkillers for them to take. Caretaker nodded absently and finished examining Whumpee before stumbling back to their own bed and taking the things from Medic. 

“Physically maybe” They mumbled. Medic hadn’t been there. They could see Whumpee’s injuries. But they hadn’t seen where they’d been kept. What Whumpee had been through. Or how Caretaker had had to beg them trust them to come with.

“Well, yeah. But that’s a bridge we’ll cross when we get to it.” 

Medic watched Caretaker take the pain medication and then took the glass back from them before speaking again. 

“Team Leader came in while you were asleep. They wanted me to tell you, that they’re going to skin you alive for going alone without their authorization, and to go give them a debrief as soon as you’re conscious again.” 

Caretaker groaned. They knew they had gone against Team Leader. Sneaking out to go rescue Whumpee. But all things considered they felt justified, and they weren’t in the mood for a tongue lashing about it. 

“In that case, I’m still asleep until further notice.” 

Medic hummed their understanding and went back to their paperwork. 

“You can’t hide here forever” They said nonchalantly.  

“I know, just give me some time to figure out how to nicely tell Team Leader “I told you so”“ 

“You act like you know Whumper.” 

“Nah,” Caretaker shrugged squeezing their eyes tightly closed. The lights really were bright. “But I know their type. Sadistic assholes, who have a grudge against the world, and need to feel powerful in anyway possible.” 

Medic looked up from their paperwork. Their eyebrow raised again. 

“I’m not about to unlock another tragic back story am I? I get enough of that between Whumpee and Team Leader.” 

Caretaker smirked and shook their head. 

“Nothing you don’t already know” They assured them “I used to be one of the bad guys, remember?”

“Hmm” Medic hummed then noticing Caretaker’s discomfort with the lights, reached out and dimmed them ever so slightly. Caretaker sighed in relief and opened their eyes again. 

The whole team generally ignored that specific part of Caretaker’s background. Normally they were thankful for it, but in certain situations, Whumpee being captured having been one of them, Caretaker would have been appreciated their expertise being taken into account. In this situation, they had known Whumper wasn’t merely going to hold Whumpee hostage. And the longer the team sat around trying to come up with a plan to rescue them, the slimmer their opportunity became. 

Caretaker and Medic were pulled from their individual thoughts when a strange mumbling noise came from Whumpee’s bed. They were both on their feet within seconds, crowding around Whumpee’s as they finally stirred after hours of complete motionlessness. 

“Caretaker?” Whumpee mumbled in a weak, breathy voice. Their eyes cracked open a bit, but it was clear they weren’t really seeing anything. 

“Yeah, Whumpee I’m right here.” Caretaker said trying to sound soothing. “What do you need?” 

Whumpee turned their head half way towards Caretaker, clearly trying to focus on them. Caretaker and Medic waited with baited breathe for Whumpee to try and speak again. However, instead of doing that, Whumpee suddenly sat up much in the way Caretaker had when they first woke up and started making a weak but obvious effort to get out of bed. The screen next to them began to show their heartrate rising rapidly. 

“No, no, no, no, no” Caretaker and Medic both began to say in near unison. Reaching out their hands to grab at Whumpee and force them back down as gently as possible. 

“Stay in bed Whumpee.” Caretaker insisted “don’t try to get up.” 

Whumpee fell back against their pillows heavily and almost relieved, but seemed confused in their semiconscious state. 

“But-” They breathed “You said we had to go” 

“Yeah,” Caretaker told them “But we did already. You’re safe now. But you need to stay in bed. Okay?”

Whumpee nodded, and their half lidded eyes slid the rest of the way closed. They reached out their better arm and tried to grab at Caretaker with almost no strength. Caretaker took Whumpee’s hand in their own and stroked the top of their head with their other. 

“Why?” Whumpee slurred after a moment. 

“Because it will make you better faster” 

Whumpee shook their head, but they seemed like they were loosing consciousness again. 

“Why... didn’t team come.” they slurred “Why... did they... leave me there?” 

With that Whumpee fell completely limp back into their pillows, slipping back into unconsciousness once again. 

Caretaker continued to hold Whumpee’s limp hand as they and Medic watched the heartrate display on the screen go back to a normal rate. The two then looked at each other. Medic’s eyes were wide, their usual snarky expression absent. Caretaker however pursed their lips with contempt. 

“Well, Medic” They said flatly. “Here’s the bridge.” 

[masterofrecords]

Angstober 2024 day 14: Only around you

I am... aware that I'm very behind. The executives are not functioning (upon some reflection, that might have something to do with me being late to refill my meds a while ago and then. Forgetting about them entirely. Oops.)

I am also aware that this one's barely angst, but have mercy on me and on these two, pretend it's proper angst.

Shackles

“Why do you never go out?” Ashton asked Phoenix one evening. Even Ashton had gone on his fair share of group outings, as rare as they were among the researchers, and field agents usually left early every week to go to some bar or another. And yet, today just like any other day, Phoenix replied with a polite yet cold no to the colleague passing on the invitation.

Phoenix just shrugged. “Not interested,” he replied simply. He looked annoyed, but Ashton decided to push for once.

“Not a fan of drinking? Maybe you can join us next Sunday, we were going to see a play. I’m sure no one will mind.”

Phoenix looked like someone who would enjoy theatre. Maybe even opera – he had that refined look to him, even beyond the handsomeness of his face.

“I’ll pass,” Phoenix said curtly. A beat passed, and then he added, slightly softer, “But thank you for the invitation.”

Ashton pretended not to be disappointed.

“Is your objection to the activity or the company?” he asked, not sure if he wanted to really know the answer. He was still having trouble figuring his new coworker out; he seemed more awkward than bitter, but also avoided any friendliness like a plague. It was hard not to take it personally.

Phoenix’s jaw tensed before he said, “It’s neither.”

Ashton took a moment to figure out what Phoenix was implying. When no clarification followed, he prodded, “Then what is it?..”

“That’s…” Phoenix exhaled loudly and silence stretched as he was searching for words, “That’s hard to explain. It’s just not a good idea – let’s leave it at that.”

“You’re not even trying to explain,” Ashton countered. Phoenix didn’t answer, and Ashton tried again, “Look, we’re sharing an office, for better or for worse, surely you can spare a few more words instead of being cryptic.”

“It’s just… not very believable, I suppose,” Phoenix looked away, and Ashton’s frustration dissipated.

“I talk to ancient relics for a living,” he reminded Phoenix, as gently as he could. “The first time I came across a magical object, I saw things I couldn’t explain and that no one would believe. Try me.”

Phoenix blinked. He tightened the scarf around his neck, and then started… stripping.

It was Ashton’s turn to be surprised. “What are you doing?”

“You’re… you’re right. Maybe you can actually make it out – look at the magic on me.”

It took an embarrassingly long moment for Ashton to realize that Phoenix was only removing the enchanted items.

“Right – right, hold on.” Ashton adjusted his glasses, letting the magic flow through them and into his eyes. Everything dimmed, the bright colors of magical auras standing out. There were the relics on Ashton’s desk, the pile of discarded items by Phoenix’s side.

Then there was Phoenix himself.

Ashton saw the pulsing of Phoenix’s innate magic, a translucent veil of deep blue around his head.

Ashton also saw… something else.

At first it appeared like a bit of dust, something in Ashton’s eyes. But the more he looked, the more definition it had – a bit of metallic glow, there one moment and gone the next, circling Phoenix’s neck and wrists like shackles.

He reached out, and it clung to his skin, quickly dissipating on it without trace and yet leaving a hint of that painfully familiar impression.

Ashton tried not to jerk his hand as he pulled it away, instincts screaming at him to run away. His vision faded back into normality, and he looked up at Phoenix’s sad smile.

“You’re… cursed?”

“I’m surprised you figured it out just from that. In a manner of speaking, yes,” Phoenix replied casually, seemingly unbothered by Ashton’s momentary display of fear. “The details are… irrelevant. Bloodlines. There’s… a history.”

There usually was, with these things. Ashton thought back to the visions of blood and decay, to a row of graves on a faraway coast, and to an innocent piece of jewelry that was never to be touched.

Phoenix turned away to put his gear back on, face hidden. His shoulders were tense, but Ashton wasn’t sure what there was to say for comfort.

He knew better than anyone how a curse could wreck a life – or many.

He… knew.

“I’m… good with curses, actually,” he said, the realization surprising even himself. “Or maybe the curses are good around me – I’m not explaining myself very well, am I?”

Phoenix turned back to him with a confused frown. “You’re not,” he agreed. “Try again?”

“I’m not as affected by curses as… pretty much anyone else?”

Phoenix looked skeptical. Ashton tried again.

“Have you ever been to the Director’s stash?” Phoenix nodded. “Do you know the – the daemonic orb? That makes everyone sick if they touch it?” Phoenix nodded again, and Ashton perked up. “I can carry it around and nothing will happen! Just doesn’t affect me – um, we tried, back when I just joined and they were figuring out what my deal was – I can show you if you’d like!”

Phoenix blinked. “We are not going to the Director for this.” He didn’t say he believed Ashton, but there were small lines between his eyebrows, eyes were open wider than usual.

Ashton liked to believe that he looked hopeful.

[ghosttotheparty]

the secret of red sea glass

AO3 The train is always louder than Lucas expects, even if he expects the most.

It’s even louder when he rests his head on the cold glass of the window, his head bumping with the rhythmic rattling and thumping as the train speeds past fields and fields, and villages and villages, and skies and skies. They change colour as he watches. After watching the cottage-covered cliffsides and the stretches of sand and crashing waves of his home pass by, he watches vibrant colours pass, more vibrant, more bright than his home in the South.

There are green and pinks, purples and yellows, flower-covered cottages, trees, shrubs, gardens, fields of flowers in the East. Lucas has only been a few times, painting some of the rich, stuffy old families that can afford mansions. And their portraits to be painted. He’d be lying if he said he did his absolute best on all of them. But he supposes he doesn’t really have to do his best on all of them. There aren’t many people who paint sit-in portraits and the few others who do cost more than Lucas, who’s willing to take any amount of money he can. He smiles at the flowers because no one is in the cabin to see him, remembering the flowers he stole for his mother. He’d presented them in a messy, crumpled, dishevelled bouquet, after having stuffed them in his jacket to hide them. He’d had to wear the jacket until he arrived at the train station in the South, and he’d already been sweating and miserable hat point, but it was worth it to see her face light up. He knew she’d suspected him of having stolen them, but she still placed them carefully in a vase on the kitchen table proudly, until the petals had all fallen around the glass. Lucas kept some of the petals and crushed them into flakes, which he keeps in the locket he wears around his neck. His mother still has a collection of flowers, now dead and faded, but still beautiful in her eyes.

After a while (he doesn’t know how long; there isn’t a clock and he’s never been able to afford a working watch), the brightness of the East changes to darker, richer reds and oranges that blur until the landscape looks like a sunset under the sky in the West. Though Lucas likes the exuberance of the East, he can also appreciate the more toned-down colours. They remind him of his mother’s hair, a rich, dark brown that shines red under the sunlight. Lucas likes when she goes with him to the beach, rare as it may be, and lets her hair loose. It flows in the wind like waves, glistening and sparkling like the water under the sun. (Everything he sees seems to make him think of her.)

He would paint it all if he could.

He clutches his bag to his chest, resting his chin on the softness of where he’s stuffed his clothes, and sighs, letting his eyes drift shut.

---

When he wakes up, it’s dark. And cold.

The window feels like a sheet of ice, and it hurts to pull his head away.

It’s too dark to see much, except flashes of white in the shadows of night, as the light of the train windows speed past mounds of snow. He pulls his bag closer, wishing he had a blanket or a quilt, and moves closer to the window, suddenly awake. He’s never seen snow before. He’s never had the opportunity, never had anybody in the North hire him to paint them.

Of course, until someone recommended him to the king.

Thinking of it still makes his stomach swoop, still makes a shiver go down his spine.

The king.

He’s going to paint the king.

And his family, of course, though Lucas doesn’t know how many people are in it.

The queen, he supposes.

He knows they have a daughter, an ambassador of some sort to foreign nations. He thinks he has other children, but nobody really knows. Safety reasons, he assumes. Maybe he’ll have to take an oath before he leaves. An I-swear-not-to-tell-anyone-about-your-children-whom-I’m-painting oath.

If there are others, he assumes they’ve never left the North. Lucas can’t imagine. Though, to be fair, he can’t really imagine living in the North full stop. It’s common knowledge that everyone here is rich, richer than Lucas could ever hope to be. (Part of him is glad; he doubts anyone at his status could survive this weather. He shivers just looking out the window, though it’s cosy enough inside the train.)

The snow outside looks like it’s glowing. Lucas can’t even see the ground outside, or the gravel under the train tracks. If there are hills and mountains and trees, Lucas will have to wait until the morning to see them. If the morning ever comes. He glances around the compartment, forgetting about the lack of clocks, and sighs, wondering what time it is. After drifting in and out of sleep, seeing the world in a way he’s only seen in paintings, time feels like it’s fluid, like it’s flowing and rushing, and Lucas has lost track. It could be midnight or it could be six am.

He supposes it doesn’t matter, though, when he arrives at the castle. Or rather, the time of day is definitely not the most important thing going on his mind.

The fucking castle.

Lucas stops thinking when he sees it outside the train window, snowflakes falling like flashes of white light, the castle looking like it’s glowing, like the light from the sky is being stored inside.

It’s the biggest building Lucas has ever seen, bigger than the mansions and manors Lucas paints in. He doesn’t know what he was expecting if he’s honest, but a part of him is saying Yeah, that makes sense.

Another part of him in angry. Angry that these people (because that’s all they are: other living, breathing humans just like Lucas and the others) are living in a home with more rooms that they can use, more space than they can take up, more food than they can eat, more air than they can breathe, and Lucas has friends who skip breakfast because they save food for dinner. One of Lucas’s shirts is a hand-me-down from his friend’s dad.

But he stares in awe, forgetting his anger. A few of the windows glow gold against the white, like the insides of it are on fire.

Lucas exhales, a slow Woah that fogs up the window, and he quickly rubs the glass with his arm, watching as the castle comes closer, becomes clearer. He briefly wonders how he would go about painting it. It would need lots of blues.

It’s not until he’s making his way down the halls, following two posh-looking men who are carrying his bags, that it really sets in that he’s staying here. Not for long, of course, just for a week or two to finish the portraits, but it’s still somehow absurd to him.

The men lead him to a bedroom at the end of a long hallway. They go in first, struggling and stumbling through a slightly-too-narrow doorway with his bulky bags, and he hangs back, watching worriedly and uncomfortably for a second before looking away.

There’s a corner just outside the room, leading to an open stairwell. It looks dark, and a little dustier than the golden, glowing parts of the palace Lucas has seen. He glances up, and in the shadows and nighttime it looks endless, like it leads into a void. Lucas wants to go exploring.

But his name is called by one of the men (he can’t tell which), and he goes back.

The room is dark, except for the faint streaks of light coming in from the window, gold reflections off the snow outside, but Lucas can see well enough to glance around. It’s small in regards to the rest of the building, and dingy, neglected and ignored. It’s still the size of Lucas’s living room.

His lips purse in that same frustrated expression, and he takes a deep breath. It smells old.

“You’ll be called for tomorrow,” one of the men says, and Lucas turns around. He still can’t tell which one said it.

“Okay,” he says.

The men nod and leave.

Lucas sighs again, and he’s almost sure the slight disturbance blows up dust that’s settled on the crackly wood floor. He finds a candle on the desk (which rocks when he touches it; one of the legs is shorter than the rest) and lights it with a pack of matches laying next to it.

Even with the snowlight and candlelight it’s still dim, but it’s bright enough for Lucas to navigate around the room. The floor creaks under his weight, and it’s almost eerie in the desolate silence of the hall. He wonders what the other rooms down the hall are for. More guest rooms? They must not have guests very often based on the maintenance.

He unpacks, carefully setting an easel against a chest at the door of his bed. He doesn’t put anything in the chest, deciding to set his suitcase on top of it, open and resting against the wall. The tubes of paint go on the desk, sorted by colour, and he sharpens the pencils, gathering the shavings into a little pile on the desk when he can’t find a bin.

He changes into his sleep clothes, setting his clothing in his suitcase after folding them neatly and blowing out the candle. When he lays down in the bed, he realises how cold it is. And that there’s no fireplace. He falls asleep shivering.

[celestial-fucking-weeb]

NAGĀ!SERO

Hey y’all! This is a part of the Citrus Server Hybrid!AU Collab! The masterlist is HERE, please please please go check everyone’s pieces out!

A/N: I am fully aware that this is all over the place, ya girl is off her meds and will edit later. Please don’t tell me it sucks, I already know and I hate it, too.

SERO HANTA X F!READER

WARNINGS: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, angst, smut, double penetration, aphrodisiac, interspecies miscommunication, size kink, breeding kink, mating, idk tell me if i missed anything

You had always heard stories about creatures in the forest; ones that eat humans, ones kidnap children, ones that would hurt you if you ever ran off by yourself. You didn’t believe them… Or maybe you did, but either way, the creatures could never be as scary as the life you already lived.

You had been taken prisoner when your coastal village was raided by pirates. Your clan’s viking warriors were off on a journey, leaving all of you oh so vulnerable with depleted numbers. They were going to kill you, like they did most of the others, but the pirate setting fire to everything in his path halted when he found you trembling under the rubble.

“Tomura, come see the new toy I found. Don’t you wanna keep her?”

“You sadistic bastard, how you get off to them crying like that never fails to make me sick. I don’t care what you do with her, Dabi, but I’m not cleaning up after you this time.”

They hauled you back to their ship, stripped you of everything and chained you in the hull. People came in and out, always different but always vile. You never spoke, you knew they wanted your screams. Overhaul, the captain, was the worst. You never knew when he was coming, and once he was there, you wondered what he wanted from you at all. Chained up, never touching you with anything but knives and his boots, not looking for your reactions… You wondered if he’d even notice if you stopped breathing. You dissociated for most of it, choosing instead to safeguard your mind, plan an escape.

About a year later, you found an opportunity in the carelessness of one of your captors. You docked someplace warm, someplace humid, maybe tropical? Toga had left your chains too loose after your last “date”, and had tossed the keys just a bit too close. As soon as she left, you had slipped your wrists out of the restraints, strained for the keys, and unlocked the shackles around your ankles. Not taking a moment to revel in the surreal feeling of being unchained, you listened until the heavy footsteps above you all faded into nothing, leaving the ship and most importantly: leaving you alone.

You ran. You ran so steadily, somehow comforted by the sounds of destruction getting further and further away. You found yourself blindly sprinting into a forest that looked nothing like your own, so damp and bright and warm. You kept running until you heard shuffling behind you, causing you to find the first thick vine hanging in your vicinity and clung to it as you climbed. Looking back, you see a simple boar grazing the forest floor. Sighing in relief, you relaxed a bit too soon, as the vine you had wrapped yourself around began to move.

Before you could react, you were wrapped up tightly in bands of muscle and brought towards the head of the- wait…- man? You had heard of nagā before, but the ones from your village’s stories were never described as so… tan, muscular, handsome. He didn’t look all that mean from the waist up, just the black, orange, and yellow scales trailing down his massive, strong tail seemed intimidating. He looked confused, concerned even, by your nakedness and panic stricken silence. Forked tongue flicking out to taste the air, smelling the blood and the abuse on your skin, seeing your quickly defeated body give up, and your mind resign itself to the comfort that at least you died free of your captors.

“Are you… okay?” The giant snake rumbles, human hand reaching towards your face and recoiling when you flinch.

You haven't spoken in months, your silence having been a security blanket, and you’re not ready to give that up. You do nothing, just look into his eyes and search for any sort of indication as to what he’s going to do. He loosens his grip a bit, just enough to slip down from his tree and head towards his hide- an old cave covered in ivy, moss, and little orange blossoms. He brings you in, and places you down on the ground before turning away to rummage through his things. He brings out water and bandages, along with some kind of salve that looks like a mixture of plants. You don’t reach for the water when he sets it near you, so he resorts to using the tip of his tail to bring it to your lips while his hands are busy tending to your wounds and gently rubbing the salve over your poorly healed scars. He offers you food, very confused when you don't seem to know what to do with the forest rodent he’s brought you, and decides on fruits he’s found. You don’t seem to want to do anything, not even going to sunbathe even though you’re obviously shivering.

THAT’S IT!!! SHE’S COLD! He thinks to himself, before wrapping his tail around you once more and bringing you outside to the rock where he typically warms himself. He gently places you down, uncoils you from his grasp, and gives you enough space to move as you please. You blink a few times, slowly realizing you’re free. He helped you? For no reason? He doesn’t know you…

“H-Hi… Thank… Thank you.” You mutter, looking away and blushing.

Cute… He thinks. “YOU TALK!!! What’s your name? I’m Sero, but you can call me Hanta! I was worried about you! Who are you? Why are you here? How did you get here?”

The line of questioning makes your head spin, and you try your best to answer before looking down and realizing you never found clothes. Blushing once again, you meekly gesture to your body and ask, “C-Clothes. I need clothes.” Hanta looks confused, but retreats to the cave and returns, bringing you a large piece of cloth that somewhat resembles a hemp blanket. It smells like oranges and spice, and you unconsciously snuggle into its comfort. Sero notices your calmed reaction to his scent and approaches you, gingerly grasps your ankle and picks up your leg, never having been so close to a human, and explores the strange angles your appendages bend.

“What are you doing?” You seem embarrassed, despite the number of people who've touched you before. This is too familiar, too intimate, almost too gentle.

“Tiny… Humans are… Small…”

You let him bend your limbs and play with your squish, strangely calm and trusting in his presence. He seems so enthralled by your body and how you move, so intrigued. That is, until he makes his way to massaging your plush thighs, causing a rush of arousal you hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. He prys opens your legs to continue his ministrations, not knowing the smell of your lust would have him flicking his tongue out and his eyes turning to hyper-focused slits. He suddenly releases your legs, slithers around your back, and presses against you. He taps the top of your head with his chin and waits for your response. Not knowing what this means, but wanting him to continue his exploration, you lean back into him and whine quietly.

You have no idea what you’ve started.

Hanta leans down, pressing sweet kisses down the column of your throat and leaving scathing bites in all the right places. Aphrodisiac venom coursing through your veins, you don’t even register his muscular arms wrapping around your body and lifting you, carrying you back into his cave and up into his hammock. He wraps his strong tail completely around your torso and takes his time kissing and groping your soft body, mumbling “mate, mate, mate” into your heated flesh. He finally makes his way down to your mound, prying your thighs apart and diving straight in before you could question his reverent gaze.

“HANTAAA~” You practically screamed as his long tongue slipped between your folds, running along your clit and down to your clenching hole, his saliva increasing the heat coursing through your core. “M-More, please… More~”

“More, what?” He smirks against your heat. “Say it. Tell me I’m your mate and I’ll make sure you’re fucked dumb, yeah? My pretty little mate.”

You stutter for a moment, getting more desperate the longer his fingers drag along your wetness. “Mate… Please! I need you… I’m yours!”

“Good mate~” His tongue wriggles back into your cunt, and his fingers slowly move further down to stretch your tight ass, making you squeal in surprise. Your orgasm takes you by surprise, all thoughts abandoning your mind as you ride out your high on his face and fingers.

“Are you ready, little one?” He growls lowly, lining up two long, thick cocks with each hole. Your eyes widen in surprise, head clearing for a moment after your climax.

“T-two?! Wait wait wait, I’ve never… I can’t! Two?!”

“Oh, little mate, but you can and you will!” He punctuates his statement by spitting down onto your cunt, thick venom slipping down to your tight rim. You moan and grind against his cocks, aphrodisiac leading your body into a blissed out state of submission. “Gonna fill you up so good. I promise you’ll be so full, feel so good, little mate. Trust me?”

“Y-yes! Wanna be full, want my mate!” You beg and plead for him to push into you, hips bucking against him, trying to get him to satiate the burning want he’d created. It isn’t until you thread your fingers through his hair and wrap your legs around his waist that he thrusts into you completely.

“That’s it, wrap around me like that. So tight, so warm… Fuuuck!~” Sero pants, chest pressed tightly to yours and face tucked into the crook of your neck, licking and sucking deep marks over your pulse point.

You’ve never felt so full, your body strangely welcoming the pleasurable stretch of your holes, pulling him deeper and deeper until you can feel him in your belly with every roll of his powerful hips. Your whimpers and tears only seem to spur him on, drawing orgasm after orgasm from your body.

“S-Shit, keep squeezing around me like that. Come on, little one, I know you have one more for me. Cum with me, I wanna feel you cum one more time. Gonna breed you, gonna fill you so good. Come on, pretty mate- fuck- cum for me~” He reaches down and pinches your overstimulated clit between two fingers and bites down on your neck one last time, sending you over the edge with a cry of “breed me, breed me, breed me!” and nails digging into his back.

“Mine! My mate, pretty little mate. Breed mate, all mine!! Gonna- gonna… Ah~” Hanta’s words steadily fell from his lips as he released deep inside your holes, belly bulging from the sheer amount of seed he spilled into you.

Utterly exhausted and dreamily floating off, you cling to him. Sero wraps you up in his tail and lays back into his hammock, keeping you as close as he can. When you snuggle into him, he whispers little praises into your hairline, a constant stream of “so good, pretty mate, all mine, i love you, so perfect, did so well, took me so well, such a good mate”.

The next day, you wake up surrounded by soft cloth, feathers, fruits, fluffy furs, a dozen shiny objects and pretty dried flowers. You sit up, looking around frantically for your mate before your eyes settle on a sheepish-looking Sero, wiggling nervously around the cave.

“Um… Do you… like it? I made it for you… I just- please tell me you like it!” He shrinks himself a bit, arm coming up to palm the back of his neck.

“Oh, is this a… nest? It’s- It’s very nice. Thank you, Hanta!” You smile softly at him, curling up into your nest and reaching out for him.

“MATE!!! I’m so happy you like it, I was so nervous!!! My mate. You can stay here all the time, so I can protect you, forever! My pretty little mate.~” He climbs into the nest and coils himself around you, content to guard you.

Maybe this time, being kept isn’t so bad.

[mermaidxatxheart]

Better Together Chapter Seven

Chapter 7 already? I must really love you guys. I hope you enjoy. If you'd like to be added to my tag list, send me an ask. My work is not to be reposted under any name or anywhere else. Reblogs and comments, however, are always welcome.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Warnings: trauma, probably language, descriptions of violence, torture, blood.

Word Count: 2k

Series Master List

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

The sunlight is bright and you twist your face into Poe’s chest, trying to hide from it. You feel him chuckle under you and it’s only then that you realize he’s awake already.

“Morning.” He says softly.

“What time is it?” You mumble.

“Early, about six.”

“How can you sleep with the sun shining in your eyes like that?”

“I like getting up early.” His fingers trail lightly over your arm and he pulls you tight against his side.

You’re quiet for a long time, but it’s not because he’s lulled you back to sleep. You feel bad for waking him up so late last night. “I’m sorry I woke you up.” You say finally.

“It’s okay. I’d rather you wake me up if you need me than suffer by yourself.” He brushes your hair back behind your ear. “I don’t sleep much anyway.” He admits.

“Because of dreams?” You ask, twisting your head back to look up at him.

“Among other things, yeah.”

You squint and he smiles softly. If you had to pick which is brighter, the sun or Poe’s smile? Poe’s smile wins by a landslide.

“Here, roll over.” He urges, guiding you onto your other side. He turns behind you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“This isn’t any better.” You huff. His chest shakes behind you as he laughs. You lift his arm and roll back over so you’re facing him. His soft brown eyes are watching you, amusement sparkling in them as you shift.

“Now you’re facing the window again.” He points out. So, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and take a big, satisfying breath. “G-good now?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah.” You whisper, eyes already drooping shut again.

***

“I can talk to Leia, you don’t have to do the report.” Poe says.

“I told her I would. She said I could take time but I was petty and angry at the time and said I would have it for her by today.” You tell him, pushing yourself up from the bed.

“So that means you can still take your time.” He says, catching your wrist gently. “Stay.” He whispers and you turn back to him. “Please?”

“Come with me. You can get some food. I know you need caf. I kept you from doing your usual stuff all morning.” You say, kneeling on the bed. This feels dangerous. It feels like flirting, like crossing a line. But you meant it when you said that Poe is the easiest person to be around.

“You should get food, too.” He says, pushing himself up closer to you. One little inch and you’d be almost touching. You could kiss him. You could feel his lips on yours, tell him how much you…

Your eyes close and he pulls back. You should have expected it. But that doesn’t stop you from feeling like the floor is falling out from under you. Suddenly, you don’t want him to go with you. You straighten up, feeling dizzy and unbalanced. You feel numb, you can’t feel your pulse, can’t hear the way you’re breathing too quickly.

“I just remembered. It’s been a while since I’ve showered. I should do that first.” You mutter, already turning for the door.

“Y/N,” he calls, but the door is already shutting behind you and you squeeze your eyes shut. You deserved that. Why would you think he would want to kiss you again?

Poe can only be your friend. Nothing more. He doesn’t want anything more from you. And honestly, count yourself lucky that he even wants that much.

You hurry off to your room, locking the door behind you. You just want to be alone. That’s what’s best for everyone. Painfully, you peel off your clothes, wincing as every move causes you pain.

You shower quickly, blindly, taking no more time than is absolutely necessary. It would be so easy to just let yourself cry, pretend it’s the water dripping down your face instead of salty tears, but you can’t go there. You can’t let yourself feel sorry anymore. You made this mess, ruined a perfectly good friendship, cheated on your boyfriend and now you have to deal with the consequences of that. You’re in your comfiest clothes, settled at your desk to start your report. You wish you had thought to ask how much detail Poe had put in his. He clearly exaggerated about your part in what happened.

Your hands hover over the keyboard, waiting for your brain to tell them what to type. The longer you wait, the more they start to shake. You yank them back against your chest, squeezing them painfully to get them to stop. You welcome the pain, it somehow serves as your penance for what you’ve done.

Your door tries to open and there’s a muffled curse outside, startling you. You quickly unlock it and outside is Bryce. He holds out a caf silently and your eyes widen and you realize you promised him you’d be in the med bay after his shift.

“How was it?” You ask, taking the cup and backing up to let him in.

“Boring as always. I hate post work. Nothing ever happens.” He grumbles, following you and flopping on your bed. “What happened?” He asks, balling up your pillow and stuffing it under his chest to rest on.

“Um,” you clear your throat, scrambling for an answer that wouldn’t start a fight. I went to sleep with the guy you hate would definitely start a fight. “I couldn’t sleep. Kept waking up. Then I just said screw it. Been trying to work on this stupid report of what happened.” You gesture and he nods, understanding. At least, understanding your words. You know he doesn’t understand what you’re feeling. Nothing bad has ever happened to Bryce.

“What did happen?” He asks, tilting his head to look at you.

The blood drains out of your face and your hands start to shake. Your stomach falls to your feet and your knees get weak. “I-I don’t… I don’t really wanna talk about it.” You mutter, sitting back down before you fall down. You take a sip of the caf and try not to blanch. He never makes it how you like it and every time you forget.

“Well, you’re gonna have to talk about it. People are gonna wanna know.” He says, his voice gentle like he’s trying to be kind. But it feels like a punch to the gut. Why would people need to know what happened to you? Before you can protest, there’s a knock on your door. Bryce glares at it before looking at you. “Expecting someone?” He asks pointedly.

“No. I wasn’t even expecting you.” You stand up and press the release, even more surprised to see Snap on the other side.

He looks nervous as shit, holding out a bag of food from the commissary, and a caf. He has never ever brought you food before. “P…” he cuts off and glances down the hall. “Pando in the lab wanted me to remind you that he needs your help analyzing those plants you brought back.” He says, rolling his eyes at the name.

You frown in confusion, taking the bag. “Pando?” You repeat.

He narrows his eyes and slides them to the right, back down the hallway where he looked the first time. “Yeah. Pando. That’s what he told me. He needs your help.”

The name is entirely unfamiliar. As far as you know, it’s not even a name at all. “Alright… well, if you see… Pando, then let him know I’ll be there in a while. I have something to finish.” You say and he nods. Abruptly he turns and walks down the hall to your right and you blink. Maybe Snap is losing it? Too many missions? Flying too close to the sun? Maybe his ox-mask isn’t operating at full capacity. You poke your head out to watch him, wondering if he’s okay, and a figure darts from view before you can catch a good glimpse.

“That guy.” Bryce shakes his head.

“He’s a good dude. Just under a lot of pressure.”

“Who’s Pando?” He asks, taking the bag of food from you and rolling over onto his back.

You have a feeling you know who Snap was talking about, but why would he lie? Do you keep up the lie? Something in your gut tells you that telling the truth would be a bad idea. “Just one of the guys from the science division.” You shrug.

Bryce digs into your food and you frown. “I thought I knew all the freaks you work with.” He tilts his head, biting into a yacba fruit.

“They’re not freaks.” You snatch your food back. “And you don’t know everything about me. I have work to do.” You say and he rolls his eyes.

“So? Do it. I’m not stopping you.” He sighs, stretching out and laying back.

You want to hit him with something, that rage burning through your veins again. To save your holopad, you grab it, the bag of food, and the caf from Snap and march out of your room. You’ll find somewhere to eat in peace and then go to the lab and find this Pando.

There’s an observation tower on the outskirts of the compound that isn’t used anymore. You climb to the top, leaning against the stone post overlooking the woods. Finally, peace and quiet.

While you eat, you try to get as much of the report done as you can. You decide to be vague on the method of interrogation, instead focusing on what they wanted to know.

The lack of horrific details in your report doesn’t stop you from remembering them.

Hours. He has been asking you questions for hours. For every one unanswered, he slices at your best friend, nicking his skin all over. His face, his hands, his arms, his chest, his legs. There isn’t a body part left unscathed.

For his credit, he never wavers, never gives any sign of weakness, never cries out. He just clenches his jaw, and squeezes his eyes shut.

You, on the other hand, can’t stop crying. You’ll keep your promise, but seeing your best friend in so much pain hurts more than anything you’ve ever experienced.

In the back of your mind, you wonder how he knows about being tortured. As far as you know, he’s never been captured. He’s an excellent soldier, always on guard, always alert. He knows his shit, he’s good at this.

Until he goes on a solo mission with you.

And then you kiss him. And he drops his guard. Now he’s being hurt.

The trooper grunts in dissatisfaction and sets his blade down. “Seems like you rebel scum like pain.” He says, starting to take off his gauntlets and gloves.

Your stomach tightens, nerves spiking as you watch his movements warily. Is he going to give Poe a break, and turn on you?

“Nothing’s as painful as living in the world of the First Order.” Poe replies calmly.

Before you can see it coming, the trooper throws his fist, slamming it into Poe’s solar plexus. Poe doubles over as much as he can, coughing hard and gasping for air. You press your lips together to keep from crying out as your tears spill over. The trooper rains down blow after blow all over his body. His lip splits against his teeth, blood dripping down his chin. Around his eye, his cheekbone, along his jaw; you can hear his ribs shifting, maybe cracking.

Your heart breaks for him. You want to do something to help him, but you’re useless against your restraints.

“Ready to give up your precious General?” The trooper sneers, grabbing Poe’s thick hair and pulling up on it to see his face.

“Who?”

The trooper drops his head unceremoniously and turns to you for the first time. “You can stop his pain.” He taunts. “Just give us the location of your base.”

You straighten yourself as much as you can in defiance. “What base?” You ask coldly.

He grumbles and grabs his gloves, stalking from the room. Poe lets his head sag, breathing hard. You don’t dare speak. Blood drips from his mouth slowly, pooling on the floor.

You twist your face away so you don’t have to see your handiwork, crying silently. You can only hope that for the next session, they turn their attention to you instead of Poe.

He deserves so much better.

Chapter 8

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[joestarwhore]

Can you do headcanon for jojos forcing there darling to intimacy with them

oooo HOT, yes!

TW: forced intimacy, delusions, non con, DDDNE

PART ONE - Jonathan, Joseph, and Jotaro

Dark NSFW!

💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫

Jonathan

Jonathan’s demeanor revolves around being the perfect gentleman; taking you fancy places, having beautiful dresses made just for you, even having a small gold necklace made with his name engraved on it for you.

He did everything for you, so why would you ever say no? He didn’t think he’d find out until one night you said no to having sex with him.

Unacceptable.

Jonathan would scold you & tell you that there’s no reason to deny him of what he wants, & the more you would deny him the more he’d push. Eventually, breaking.

Jonathan would grab your wrists in one hand and would hike up your silk nightgown in the process. Words of possession would pierce your ears as his long hands would find your thighs, squeezing & rubbing them ask much as he wanted, muttering how perfect you feel. Your pleas for him to stop & to think, his response was simply pressing his pelvis against yours. “Quiet my love, you’ll wake the whole house.”

You knew after that you really didn’t have a choice. Jonathan’s hands worked his giant cock out of his sleep pants, pushing the head of his cock inside of you. You unintentionally arched up into him, his lips finding the side of your neck to kiss. “Perfect darling..” he muttered, followed by a bottoming out youd never forget.

Jonathan rammed your pussy as hard as he could, moaning in your ear to arouse a reaction from you. Your busting orgasm made him cum inside your hot womb as he growled with his release. Jonathan’s property, forever more.

Joseph

His cocky attitude makes his view on you very easy. You are to give him whatever he wants, and he’ll protect & love you with every fiber of his being.

But what if you said no one night?

You’d see something snap in Joseph, and a sickly sweet grin would show up on his face. He’d say that’s alright, & would let you turn over so he could spoon you.

You fell into slumber soon enough, & the Joseph who helped you fall asleep would disappear. He’d slowly work off your pants & underwear, nearly drooling at the sight.

He’d slowly pick up a leg as he’d wrangle his dick from his pants. He’d place his lips next to your sleeping head, whispering sick & twisted comments about your body. All of a sudden, you yawned and stretched out, and that was the breaking point. Joseph slammed his dick inside of your pussy as he slapped a hand over your mouth. You awoke with a gasp and wide eyes, trying your hardest to get away from him. Joseph wasn’t having it.

Joseph assaulted your clit as he railed you, making you have to work to hold back any moans. “Gooood job taking me baby, you didn’t mean to say no did you!!” he assured you, rolling his hips into your heated frame. “My pretty little wife looks so good on my cock, whenever her loving husband wants, isn’t that right?!”

You couldn’t respond due to the mind blowing orgasm ripping through your body, your hands tightly gripping his arms to steady yourself against the waves of pleasure being ripped through you. His cum was hot and seeped inside of you, his dick sliding out with a satisfied pop.

“Good girl.. my sweet angel..” he murmured against the back of your head as he laid you both down on your pillow. Your nerves were shot and your core shaken, unable to move. “I’ll always take care of you, just be sure to listen to me the first time, okay love?”

He already knew the answer.

Jotaro

Jotaro’s relentless.

He didn’t count “no” as a thoughtful response when he wanted to have sex with you. Often times it was after stressful events that he’d do this, the first time being after Holly fell sick.

After his final battle with Dio, you were sent to the hospital with Joseph for intensive treatment. Jotaro didn’t leave your room, only to check on the old man.

Nearing the end of your stay, your treatment mainly revolves around a schedule of sleep & scheduled fluids. Jotaro became quieter & quieter towards you, & you thought it was just because of him trying to process everything that had occurred.

In all reality, he needed release. Whether you’re in the hospital or not.

Jotaro’s hands trailing your body would wake you, feeling an all too familiar feeling shoot to your core.

You’d squirm against his hands. “Not now Jojo, it’s too much right now.”

No hesitation or words were given to you.

Star Platinum held your hands down as Jotaros knees positioned themselves between yours. He had already unzipped his black slacks & his rock hard cock was eagerly awaiting to be inside of you.

Jotaro’s mouth landed next to your ear, muttering sweet nothings of “god, i love you” or “I love your tight cunt”, “you’re all mine bitch”

Shoving his dick into your weak body wasnt hot enough for him, so he turned on the machine that fed you your nightly sleep meds. “You’re to be controlled by me, i’m the only thing to protect you in this world, do you understand slut?”

Your brain felt groggy as the sleep drip made your body slowly relax. His dick fucked you harder and faster until your body inadvertently squirted all over his dick.

His dick drew out of you, and he dragged the blanket back over your shaken body. “Sleep, darling.”

You don’t remember anything after that.

[midday0nightmares]

14 - painless.

previous chapter like father, like son.

m.list.

tw - angst, kidnapping, mental health, blood, drugs, non-con.

*this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

“I hate you.. “

He responds with an annoyed sigh.. 

 you simmered through out the ride, your unwell condition exaggerating your emotions..

the car pulled in the underground parking lots, as soon as he unlocks the doors you throw the teddy bear at him hitting his face.. 

You bolt out the car starching your steps as wide as you can, He stalks behind you, thanks to his long legs he mange to reach the elevator door before you.. the lifeless stuffed toy in his hand..

He steps I first and you follow him.. you lean on the cold steal walls of the elevator, finding solace in it’s coolness against your hot body..

You stomp to the apartment door and cross your arms huffing while he opens the door.. he lets you walk in first

When you step in you attempt to slam the door in his face.. but your pity attempt fails as he catches the door before it closes. 

You were testing your limits with him.. even though you know you should quite before he snaps, you continue

You kick the ridiculous crocks shoes he had given you earlier and storm off to his room, this time successfully slamming the door.. 

you took of the hoodie and threw it on the floor remaining in a thin t-shirt, a pitifully announcing your rebliouling ..

 you flopped on his bed, your bottom lip quivering.. the anger turned into frustration that could be only be expressed with tears.. tears you don’t want to cry any more, tears you don’t want to show any more..

You expected him to follow you, to shout, to beat you.. anything, but he doesn’t.

After you’ve calmed down.. you reflect and you think you may have overreacted..

It’s 3:53 am .. it’s almost morning, you’ve given up on today.. you lay to sleep your frustration away..

Days have passed with you keeping your distance, and due to your unwell condition they have allowed you your space..

 Days turns over in waste.. another tools over, a bitter taste stronger than ever before blooms in your mouth greats you as you open your eyes to the new day.. a heavy sadness resides inside of you, weighing your limbs down.. 

You feel empty, a shell of human.. mentally drained, you try to push through it.. 

You get up to an empty apartment.. the clock reads 11:48 am, they should be at work right now..

You open the fridge looking for something to appease you.. cereal and milk, 

Jaemin’s blanket folded neatly over the couch next to it was the teddy bear he bought you.. still sitting in it’s place since that night..

You feel embarrassed for your childish actions.. your heart squeeze in guilt, dose he even sleep? 

You finish your sweet breakfast and take your temperature.. it reads 37, you follow with the last round of your meds..

With n nothing to occupy it, your mind wonders to him.. to his warm embrace, it was all you could think about..

You overcome your pride and lay on the couch, in the same spot he sleeps on.. you wrap yourself with his blanket.. 

you lie to yourself and pretend you only did it because you are too lazy to walk back to his room.. 

You doze off once you were content with the warmth that surrounded you.. 

You jolt up and scrambling to put the blanket to the it’s original form before they get back and see you clinging to jaemin’s blanket..

You know you shouldn’t indulge yourself in him.. it’s not healthy, he’s deeply disturbed man, you shouldn’t.. but only this time.

Another week comes and goes with no events.. 

the calmness feels uneasy, a nagging feeling in you keeps you on guard..

One of those boring evenings, that you usually spend hiding in jaemin’s room reading whatever book is available, started taking a steep turn when you hear your name being called.. 

You pounder whether to answer it or ignore it.. 

You walk out the room turning the corner to the open space of the living room to see three men seated around the couch..

 jaemin, jeno and an unfamiliar face that rings alarms in you.. the air smells like alcohol, three pair of dark eyes staring at you.. 

“is that her?” The stranger asks.. oilgning you

“come closer.. he’s not gonna bite you” jeno says in an upbeat tone.. his face is flushed red, side effects of being intoxicated.. 

“Your dad has a great taste ..” The stranger nudges jaemin who remains eerily quite..

“Come here..” Jeno pats the space next to him..  

and against your better judgment you take one step closer, jeno grabs your wrist.. you dig in your heals and try to free your arm..you struggle against jeno’s strength before the stranger man speaks again .. 

“oh jeno don’t hurt the pretty girl.. let het go” he humors jeno .. and they both laugh..

The stranger stand, his hight stretches above you..he’s not as built as jeno but you can tell you have already lost against him, he comes closer to you, sister look in his eyes.. 

“Hey .. my name is haechan, what’s yours sweetheart?”.. 

 His right hand stretched to shake yours you look at it with disgust.. 

His hand retreat to fall to his side, his young poking the inner side of his cheek.. he turns to look at jaemin, who was quietly watching the interaction, cool and seemingly relaxed he sips on his whisky and nod giving an approval..

Feeling of dread crept up to your stomach.. your heart beats loud in your ears, your mind begins to cloud with fear..

Haechan turns to you, his hand shamlessly blaming his crotch.. your eyes wiedding in shock cracking jeno into a laughter.

He strides towards you like an animal cornering it’s prey,

“Stay away from me!” You bark at him with no intimidation, 

Amused jeno warns “carful she scratches” .. 

Your attempt to run was intercepted by jeno’s arms.. he catches you and lock you in his arms, you twist and struggle in his hold.. “let me go!” 

but your weak fight makes them laugh even more than before .. 

“You have been bad sera..” Jeno whispers in your ear..

“Jaemin .. jaemin please!” You plead to him.. 

but he remains non responsive to your pleads..

“Just go with sera.. it will be much easier “ ..

Jaemin finally spoke, his words shattering you.. Your eye well up with hot tears blurring your vision.. you still in disbelief, haechan turns to open his back bag, reaching for something, You desperately try to free yourself.. when haechan returns with a needle in his hand, you start kicking and screaming..

jeno grabs your left arm and straighten it and Hacehan .. they overpower you and hold you still while Hacehan inserts the needle in your arm emptying it’s contents into your blood stream.. jeno lets you go and the room goes silent except for heavy breathing..

 jaemin’s cold eye watch as the horrific scene unfolds..

The hot substance burns through your veins.. your fast heartbeat stumbles as it slows down, your body slowly relaxes and the stress evaporates as warmth takes it’s place..  

All of worries and pains start to evaporates.. the room spins around you, limps heaving, eyes loses it’s focus, you collapse but it’s euphoric.. 

You lay in pleasure you have never felt before.

Everything feels like a lucid dream.. being carried.. rough hands undressing you.. unfamiliar body against your.. “Shh don’t cry” wet mouth kissing your neck.. “Don’t worry.. I’ll be gentle..” whispered in your ear.. 

you keep falling in a bottomless hole, hours of your life goes missing, faint memories remains to remind you that you will always be the only victim of this war.

[quinncupine]

Yo imagine being in the general class of UA and being recovery girl’s little apprentice/intern and one of the 1A boys constantly getting hurt (whether its on purpose or accidentally ) as an excuse to come visit; I’m imagining todoroki or kaminari because I’m in a mood for those 2 and Deku wouldn’t need to an excuse 🙄

Ha, of course Deku wouldn't need an excuse!🙄 That's his second home at this point. I’ve never written for Kaminari before so this was a fun little experience! Sorry I’m answering this so late, I took a little writing break last week, but now I’m back on the grind! (Also I tried to keep this gender neutral as well!)

Word count: ~2.8K

Wanna request something?

Quinns Masterlist!

Midoriya, Kaminari, and Todoroki with Intern!Reader

Midoriya

"Midoriya, Midoriya, Midoriya," a soft voice sighed in mock exasperation. "How did I know I would find you here yet again."

Izuku flinched and looked up from his spot on the bed to see you casually leaning against the doorframe. That signature white lab coat draped over your form suited you perfectly. You looked like a real doctor standing there with the little clipboard tucked neatly into your waist and that warm smile radiating off you. To say that your smile had an effect on him was an understatement.

"Uh," he chuckled with a nervous smile, "sorry, I know I was just here yesterday."

"Yesterday? Midoriya, you've been here every day this week." Hopping off the door frame, you crossed your arms. "Do you wanna see me that bad?"

It was only a joke, but his face flushed a bright crimson at your words. Suddenly, every spot other than you seemed much more interesting to stare at, so he didn't catch that smirk lighting up your face as you stepped into the room.

A quick flip through the probably too many pages in his chart that he'd racked up this year alone, "So, what's it this time?"

"Just a sprained wrist," he held up said wrist. "I thought it was fine, but then it started to swell so I, uh, thought I should come here…just in case."

"And how did it happen?" you set the chart down and pulled the little wheeled stool to sit in front of him. With gentle fingers, you prodded the bruised skin.

At your touch, he stiffened. You were so close, eyes solely focused on his wrist. While you were examining him, he took the opportunity to stare at you with those giant green eyes of his, cataloging every inch of your face. When you began your internship with Recovery Girl, he was shocked the first time he walked in here to see you instead of the older woman. Not that he was complaining. You were way more amiable with him and although you didn't appreciate him injuring himself so much, he'd come to quite like these little meetings with just the two of you.

"Lucky for you, it's not too bad," you decided, looking up to meet his deer-eyed gaze. One which he promptly looked away from. "Ice it for twenty minutes a few times today and the swelling should go down. I'll get you a compression bandage." When you stood up to root through the doors for the bandage, you glanced back at him. "What'd you do, punch a brick wall?"

"Concrete actually," he stuttered out. "I missed my opponent, couldn't stop my follow-through in time."

The power he held always amazed you, but you were always the one to see the after-effects during training. He was strong to a point of recklessness. Something he really needed to work on. Finally finding the bandages, you walked back to your stool.

"Well, I hope you kicked that wall's ass then." Grabbing his hand, you locked eyes with him, "just don't overdo it too much. You only have two hands so try and keep them for at least a few more years yeah?"

Izuku was only half-listening, too entranced by your touch to keep up with the conversation. As you carefully wrapped his wrist, he sat back, taking the time to take in your image. This was really the only time he ever got to see you. The support department was on the opposite side of campus and those classes rarely ever teamed up. Besides, you were part of the relief support courses, not tactical, which meant the two of you would never train together while here. And while you were great at this part, patching him up right quick, and sending him on his way, he couldn't help but wish you were slower. All he wanted was to just sit here forever with you, injuries be damned.

"Right then, here we are," Straightening up, you finished wrapping the limb, and with a double check to make sure everything was in order, you smiled up at him. "You know, I should start charging each time you come in here. I bet you'd be able to cover this entire department's budget in a week.

"Oh, you think so?" the way he cocked his head, that cute little innocent widening of his eyes seemed to inject serotonin straight into your veins. The boy was just too adorable for his own good and he didn't even know it. "Sorry, I don't mean to be a bother."

"A bother? You?" An airy laugh blew past your lips. "My day would be so boring if I didn't have my favorite patient to keep me company." He tried his best to hide that all too obvious blush creeping up his neck. "Although, I could do without all the injuries you seem to be racking up."

Izuku turned his focus to the newly wrapped wrist, biting on his lower lip. He couldn't even bring himself to look at you or he might combust on the spot. When you left his side to go wash your hands, he finally sneaked a peek. Now that you were done, he was going to have to leave. He didn't want to leave. He liked being here with you. For whatever reason, anytime you were near him, his heart raced and he felt lightheaded, but also a million times better, even with whatever injuries he was sporting. If he didn't already know your quirk, he would've thought you had the ability to heal with just a simple smile. You were an adrenaline boost he always looked forward to.

"You're not always here, right?" the words left his mouth before he even realized he said them aloud. "I, uh, I mean, you do other things outside the recovery ward?"

"Sure," you shrugged, drying your hands. "You're not always training, right?" With a pause you shook your head, "wait, don't answer that. I think I already know that answer." Casting a smirk at him, he looked down at his shoes, a smile of his own taking root. "I'll have you know I do do other things besides patching up one Mr. Broken Bones Midoriya."

"Oh yeah, of course, you do!" he tripped over the words as they spilled from his mouth. "I just mean that your really cool and stuff but I never really see you other than here and I know the campus is big, but I just thought that maybe you, or I, or, or…uh…" he was running out of gas and confidence so he decided to abandon ship and jump to his feet, intent on escaping this sinking boat. "Um, anyway, thanks for the uh-thanks for this!" Waving his wrist, he made for the exit but before he could make his hasty getaway, you stepped in front of him.

"Geez Midoriya, calm down," it was like trying to corral a frantic bunny. The boy's eyes were darting all over the place, probably looking for a different escape route. "Tell ya what, when that wrist heals up and if you don't get any more injuries before the weekend, let's see if we can change not seeing each other around."

Izuku froze, the words processing in his mind a few times before they finally clicked. "You mean like a-a…"

"Just try not to get hurt for at least a few days? You placed a hand on his shoulder and lead him towards the door. "Think you can manage that?"

He'd never been so motivated to stay this healthy before. A furious nod and you sent him off with a wink. When the door closed, he slumped against the wall outside, bandaged wrist against his chest, trying to stop the mini horse race trampling through his chest. What he didn't know was that you were on the opposite side of that door, one hand to your own chest, the other trying to combat the heat on your cheeks. You'd been working up the courage to do that all week because god knows when Midoriya would ever find the courage to do it. An all too excited squeal rushed out of your mouth before you could stop it. This was going to be an interesting week.

 KAMINARI

You could hear the babbling from down the hall before you saw him. That stupid deep-fried laugh was synonymous with one person and one person only. Dropping the pen and whirling around in your chair, you leaned your elbow on the armrest as two of the school's med bots ushered Denki in. Thumbs up and that dopey smile plastered on his face had you trying your best to contain the giggle building in your throat.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," you smirked at the blonde who'd been sat on one of the beds. "Go over your limit again Kaminari?"

"Yay…" he mumbled and fell back on the bed with a groan.

It wasn't the first time he'd come in with a fried brain and if there was one thing you knew about him, it wouldn't be the last. The good thing is he usually just needed to sleep it off for a bit. But being the ever diligent medical intern, you came over to check him over.

Denki laid sprawled out on the bed, hands finally giving out and falling to his side. After a quick examination, he appeared to be in working order, just needed a bit of a recharge, so you returned to your paperwork and let him be.

A half-hour later, he sat up with a loud groan, rubbing his head, "Uh, that majorly sucked."

"Ah, so sleeping beauty finally rises," you didn't even turn to him but still felt that charming smile bounce off your back.

"You really think I'm a beauty?" he grinned, standing up to stretch. "You know I'm still pretty sore, I could always get back in bed and we can see if a kiss will make me feel better."

"Tell me," a playful tug on your lips as you twirled in your chair to face him, "do any of those lines ever work?"

"That's for you to answer and for me to find out."

"Sorry to disappoint bud, but I don't think you're gonna like my answer." Satisfied with his little pout, you turned back to continue your work. "You're fine Kaminari, you can go back to class now."

"Aww, but being here with you is so much better," he trudged over to your desk and leaned on the back of the chair. "Can't you write me a doctor's note so I can stay here with your beautiful face for the rest of the day?"

"And what would you even want to do here with me for the rest of the day, hmm?" you hadn't meant it to sound like an innuendo, but judging from his flushed expression, he'd taken it that way.

"Don't tell me you're interested in the medical field now?" it was your attempt to gain control of the conversation again. "And after all that hard hero training you do."

"Uh, I…" a small spark shot between his hands as he tried to think of something to say. You must've really thrown him off this time, although that isn't very hard to do. After a few moments of fidgeting, he deflated and dropped his head. "All right, I'll go back to class."

"Aww come now, don't look so down," you laughed, leaning back in your chair. "I'm sure Mr. Aizawa is much more fun than I am."

"Yeah, if you think torture is fun," he pulled his hair with a whine and slogged towards the door. When he reached for the handle, he paused and glanced back at you with a forlorn look. "Not even a kiss for the road?"

"Hmm," tapping your chin with the pen, you smirked, "maybe if you come up with a less cheesy pick-up line, then I might be more inclined."

That perked him up more than any jolt of electricity could do. "Well you're in luck babe, I've got plenty of 'em!"

"Let's hear it then, I'm all ears."

"Okay, okay…" he scrunched his face and crossed his arms. You could practically see the gears turning as he thought it through. "Damn," he spoke after a moment, trying to hide his smirk, "you're so beautiful you made me forget my pick-up line."

You chucked the pen at him with a snort, which he narrowly dodged, hopping halfway out the door in the process. "Oh my god Kaminari, I said less cheesy, get out of here!"

That dorky grin back on his face, he held up his hands. "Fine, but don't think I'm finished here. I will find one that works." With a wave, he disappeared, yelling through the door, "mark my words!"

TODOROKI

Honestly, the scrape wasn't even that bad or that deep, but he still found himself marching towards Recovery girls office in hopes he'd find you there. Ever since you became her intern, he seemed to find himself injured more and more frequently…by total accident of course.

"Oh, Todoroki," you smiled as he walked in. "What brings you in today?"

"I injured my arm during training today," he said flatly, holding the appendage up. There was a sizable gash under what looked like scorch marks. "I thought it best to get it checked out."

"Geez, who were you fighting this time?"

"Bakugo," with a shrug, he glanced at his arm.

"Well, that makes sense," you waved him to one of the beds, "come on, let's have a look then."

Silently, he sat down on the examination bed, the stiff paper ruffling as he scooted back slightly when you approached. His whole body was stiff, eyes staring everywhere but your face. It didn't look much different from his usual self, but internally, he was having a slight meltdown from your mere proximity alone.

Sliding the stool over, you sat down and twisted his left arm back and forth to get a good look, muttering a few things before giving it back. "the cuts shallow which means no stitches, so that's good. Should heal on its own in a few days. I'll just clean it and wrap it, then you're good to go."

"Oh," the word unintentionally slipped out.

When you looked up at him, you noticed the tiniest of pouts forming on his lips. "Unless something else is wrong?"

"No!" he said a little too quickly.

Something else was definitely wrong. Throwing him a quizzical look, you headed for the drawers that held your supplies. "That's good I suppose," you said lightly, "It seems like I've been seeing you almost every day this week alone."

"Sorry," he muttered.

"I didn't say I was complaining," with a grin, you sat back in front of him with sterilizing pads and gauze.

Those words alone were enough for his left side to flare up. When your fingers touched his arm to clean the wound, you flinched away.

"Uh, hey Todoroki," you cocked your head, trying to maintain that professional demeanor Recovery Girl kept pestering you about (although the old woman should take her own advice) and not crack a smile. When his eyes finally met your own, you pointed to his arm, raising a brow. "Might wanna tone down the heat there."

He blinked. Then blinked again before realizing what the problem was. His cheeks flushed almost the same color as his hair and turned his head in embarrassment, rasping out a quiet apology.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" dapping the wound after the skin cooled down, your eyes wandered up to his. "You seem a little worked up."

"Something like that," he mumbled, watching your hands delicately work, using that as a distraction to keep from staring at your face. The same face he could easily find himself lost in if he gave himself the chance. So he decided to change the subject. "It's quiet here." Yeah, way to go, man, real insightful.

"Yeah, Recovery Girl gives me the quietest shifts until I gain enough experience." Once the soot was cleaned off, you grabbed the gauze. "You don't always have to be injured to come visit me, you know." Sparing a quick glance up at him, you started wrapping the limb. "I wouldn't mind the company."

"Am I even allowed in here without an excuse?" It was just a curious question but your frown caught him off-guard, wondering if he said something wrong.

"Couldn't hurt to find out," you mumbled, "I mean we are in an infirmary." Tying off the gauze, you patted just below the cut with a small smile. "Okay, you're all patched up. You're free to go."

"Does it have to be here?" Shoto suddenly stood up, eyes meeting your own.

"What?"

"You said you wouldn't mind the company," he furrowed his brow. "Does it have to be here?"

"Well, no, I was just saying…wait, you wanna see me outside of here?" you gestured around the room, a little baffled.

He nodded, looking less confident by the minute. "If that's alright with you."

The smile that lit up your face was brighter than any flames Shoto could ever hope to produce. "It's more than alright with me."

...

taglist: @dorki-time @awilddreamerwrites @peachsenpie @thecindy @miriobaby @kiyoobi @dragonsdreamoffire @amive2567

[keilemlucent]

half-day

hawks | takami keigo x reader 

word count: ~3k

absence helps the heart grow wounds 

warnings: reader takes medication, angst, sad uwu 

beta’ed: @hawnks

a/n: so in the middle of all the horny, here’s some angsty, SFW, hurt/comfort i wrote as a vent. enjoy 💗

...

“Did you take your meds yet?”

You paused on the edge of the bed, rubbing at your eyes with the inside of your wrist.

“No, I forgot. Sorry.”

You kicked yourself for how weak your voice came out.

Keigo’s wings drooped, though you could only tell by the wide shadow they cast on the wall of your shared bedroom.

It was late, far too late for you to be awake, but you’d forced yourself to stay lucid and somewhat lively to wait for Keigo to arrive home after patrol. It wasn’t something you did often, as he so often was kept past his scheduled hours.

This night was no different.

He’d come through the balcony door in the early hours of the morning, sighing harshly and kicking off his boots with a huff before even noticing you blinking at him from the couch.

And with a single look, his heart sank.

Keigo wasn’t an idiot.

You looked so tired.

Your eyes were shadowed, punched with sleepless bags and the corners of your pretty lips pulled down and taut. You worried your hands, picking at your cuticles and fingernails.

You mustered up a smile, and fuck, if it wasn’t one of the weakest things he’d seen in a long time.

He’d been quick to whisk the two of you off to bed after that. A short shower later, he slung on some sweats and draped a towel over his shoulders. He tried to keep his look casual, despite his own exhaustion, aches and anxiety.

Because you looked shitty.  

Not that you ever looked bad, Keigo had seen you in any number of states. Fucked up, fucked out, bright and shining like the sun itself and tear-streaked—

But none hurt in the same way or as much as he’d been seeing you lately.

When he crept into the bedroom, your gaze was vacant, trained on the floor as you picked at a hangnail on your thumb.

So he asked about your meds, just probing, seeing where you were at.

Truthfully, Keigo’s work had been keeping him from home, though he wasn’t actively avoiding you like this.

But, he did have the undeniable knowledge that his absence was hurting you.

Guilt.

“You don’t need to be sorry, dove,” Keigo slipped next to you on the sheets, letting his wings stretch out and back over the thrown back covers. “Do you want some fresh water?”

You shook your head, silent, as you grabbed your pill organizer from your nightstand.

Keigo eyed the old glass of water, frowning. He could practically see the dust settling on the surface of the stale liquid.

“Are you sure—”

“It’s fine, Kei’, let’s just go to bed,” Your voice was so hollow, half-broken and swallowed up by the gulp of water you took down with your meds.

Keigo managed to keep a grin on his face, but it was hard.

He couldn’t restrain himself from taking your cheeks in his hands, worrying your undereyes with his thumbs the moment you set the murky glass down.

You didn’t say anything, just sagged into his grip, brow creasing.

There was a tension in the air, but nothing that could be cut or the kind that could easily immolate. This was the kind of sluggish frustration that pulled on your muscles and ligaments like gummy syrup.

It dragged the two of you down.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You spoke without thinking, your hands inching towards his knees.

Why was he?

“Lots of reasons, the first being that I love you,” Keigo reminded you, softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

It was all the touch you needed to fall into his shoulders, pressing your face into the wet towel around his neck.

It would’ve been cumbersome, a deterrent from fully touching him, but in that moment, it soaked up the budding tears at the corners of your eyes.

He didn’t need to know how poorly you were doing.

Why did his little affections send you spiraling?

Why did each of his touches feel like aloe to a wound that was deep and tarry, impossibly endless and nothing that could be tackled in a night?

Why did it hurt so good?

“I don’t want to hear the others,” you told him, squeezing his covered knee. “I think I know. I’m sad, not dumb.”

Your quip earned you a half-hearted chuckle, Keigo smoothing a hand up and down your spine.

“Can you lay with me?”

You gave a wordless answer, slipping into the sheets with him while feebly rubbing at your eyes.

Keigo sends a few feathers to click off the bedside lamps, keeping on a small light atop the dresser, the kind that throws pinpricks of faux stars onto the ceiling in oscillating little rings.

It was a false comfort, but you’d both take it.

You laid facing each other, naked in mind and body by then.

With your cheek squished into your pillow, it was even easier to see the tear tracks and worry that you carried.

Keigo had to be careful, he knew he had to, if he pushed you too hard for your words or feelings, you could just lockup, deflect and drift off into fitless sleep yet again.

You didn’t make him reach for too long, didn’t let him worry himself for very long, before you spoke up, weakly, and interrupted his thoughts.

“We’re okay, right, Kei’?”

The question sent splinters of worry into the tender flesh of his heart.

Keigo responded instantly, dragging your body into his as his feathers twitched and ruffled, “Yes, yes, we’re completely okay, better than, I love— “

“I know,” You pressed your face into his sternum, locking an arm over his lower back. “I know you love me.”

You still sounded so empty.

Keigo didn’t know what to do, fuck, he was grasping for even what to say.

“How can I make it better?”

He had to try, right?

Maybe that was the reason why he’d been rushing off so often and for so long lately, without rest, no matter how he felt.

He was a hero, his job was to make things better. He wanted to fix things, mend and stitch the ills and pains of others.

Yet, the person closest to him was splitting at the seams.

Work had been busy, busier than normal, and it just gave him the excuse to avoid his personal problems, like any sane, normal person.

Maybe, he was justified in shoving off the weight of everything, maybe, but only because every time he asked how he could help, you’d just say—

“You can’t, Kei’. It’s okay.”

Just like you did then.

Except, in the past, your voice would just echo from your lips as you gave him a sad smile.

This time?

Your voice broke and your breath hitched as you tried to tug him closer.

He can feel your tears wet his chest.

You tried to fight for so long.

You still were, notably. Against the loneliness and against the odds of your odd relationship, you smiled and mused your way through the struggles of it. You loved Keigo, and the burdens were bearable. They were never from him, they were from the fucked circumstances of his employment and the conditions around it.

You had a deep, heartfelt understanding of this. It was communicated about since the beginning of your partnership, and you had learned, quite well, how to deal with Keigo’s job as a hero. You’d peace with it, mostly.

A lot of the time, contending with this reality was hardly difficult.

But, it was distinctly entirely unmanageable during times when your own mental health started to spiral downward.

So, here you were, beginning to weep into your partner’s chest over all of the weight that was bearing over your mind.

Each moment, your mind sparked with a new poison, until one slipped out amid your muffled tears.

“I can’t even fix m-me— “

You snapped.

And you damn near shrieked into his chest.

Keigo hadn’t seen you do this poorly in a long time.

It hurt, all of it did, but like fuck he was going to push off the responsibility any longer. You’d never admit it, but his absence had to be doing some damage.

“You don’t need to,” Keigo promised, shifting to straddle your hips.

Maybe, on a different night, things would’ve gone a different direction.

Not that night though.

Keigo pressed his weight over your chest, tucking your face into his neck as his feathers settled up and over the two of you. A scarlet shield that read black in the witching hour of the evening.

You didn’t really notice, but you could feel Keigo’s breath and body over the top of yours. He was like some sort of barrier towards the outside world and god did you need it.

You tried to reply, but your words came out as blubberings, broken by tears and ragged breath as you buried yourself into Keigo.

Despite the fact that Keigo was over you, it was the unseen, soul-crushing weight of you that bore down on him.

How did you let it get this bad?

You choked on another sob, your thighs squeezing around his hips.

Your nails raked down his back, an accident borne from your own frustration. Keigo didn’t react to the pain, even when it tread so close to the sensitive roots of his wings. He could bear it— if you had to, he would as well.

This is the least he could do, right?

Be there, though he definitely should’ve been there sooner.

He nuzzled his nose into your temple, brushing his lips over the sweat and tears gathering.

“Cry, dove, I’ve got you now.”

And god, did you.

You sputtered and wept against him, whatever hollow sheen you’d been carrying falling away to a flood of pent up pain.

Keigo had his own mess of emotions about being complicit in letting you get to this point, and what that said about him as a partner, but he swallowed those feelings down to the pit of his stomach and busied himself with comforting you.

He wiped the tears from your cheeks, kissing away the stray ones that dripped down to your jaw and neck. His fingers and nails scratched and massaged your scalp, part of him prayed that the little circles he drew would pull some of the tension and stress from inside your skull, but that was just fantasy.

Ultimately, the only thing to do was nothing, and that was probably why Keigo avoided it for so long.

Powerlessness was not something he was used to, nor did he want to become familiar with it. He was the number two hero in the nation, for fuck’s sake. The last thing he ever felt was helpless, sans a few choice feelings about his arrangements with the Commission.

But with you?

He felt so useless in moments like these.  

But, that was the nature of these things, and he knew this, the two of you had been over that, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel himself getting choked up.

And as much as he wanted to suppress his own feelings, he just fucking couldn’t.

And everything spilt over at once, as things tend to.

Keigo scooped you up, pressing your front to his, pressing your cheek into his own, a few of his own tear tracks forming.

The feeling of Keigo’s own sadness tugged you from your own panic.

You swallowed thickly, your dry tongue sticking in your mouth as you tried to speak coherently.

“H-hey, Kei’?” You asked, trying to rub away at his tears. “C-could you take a h-alf day tomorrow? You don’t need to, but— “

Keigo shushed you with a kiss, sagging over top of you a moment later.

“Yeah, y-eah, of course,” Quietly, Keigo added, muffled into the crook of your shoulder. “You shouldn’t have to ask.”

“It’s okay, but it’s how i-it is,” Your voice shook as you coaxed Keigo to meet your gaze.

And oh, to bear souls with another is quite an intimate thing, don’t you think?

Especially when there was so much raw between the two of you, things that weren’t quite right, and things that hurt a bit too much.

Yet, at the same time, as you searched Keigo’s pretty ambers, more vibrant next to his reddened eye whites, you held nothing against him. There was both implicit and explicit understanding swimming in the air between you.

The unavoidable harshness of your arrangement with the truth that both of you cared so much, even if you didn’t know how to chew of your chunks of reality. It was comforting, seeing Keigo give you a broken little smile as you rubbed his tears away, and he yours.

“I love you,” Keigo's wings fluttered with his words. “I’m sorry for not being here like I should’ve been.”

“It’s okay,” It was, mostly. “I’m sorry for pushing you away.”

You both needed to be better, but being ‘better’ was a process in and of itself.

Carefully, you rose, your hands finding Keigo’s bare hips while his helped prop up your back.

You swallowed around your fat tongue, grimacing and reaching for the stale glass of water.

Just before you could grab it, Keigo reached past you, stopping your hand from closing around it.

“Let’s start small,” Keigo gave you a weak smile. “Can I grab you some fresh water?”

You nodded, the warmth and care of the gesture immediately relaxing you. Quirking a brow, you managed a small grin, “Yes, thank you.”

And you let him.

And all that you’d been carrying with you didn’t dissolve, but it maybe felt lighter.

...

You spent the rest of the night twisted up in each other.

Truthfully, Keigo felt greedy. He’d been too absent and that had made him needy for you and your touch, even if it was just idle and soft.

He craved you in other ways, but you were more than enough.

By the sun rose came, he was hardly sated, but he had calls to make and things to arrange.

...

The next morning, you awoke alone, though the sheets were warm.

A few feathers laid around you, snuggling up to your cheeks and under the covers, fluttering every so often against your bare skin.

As you drew back to lucidity, you could hear Keigo’s muffled voice from the kitchen.

Your body ached, but in a necessary way. It reminded you of the night prior, along with your scratchy eyes and raw throat.

You threw on one of his shirts and padded towards his voice.

Despite your state, and the rawness of the air, Keigo still managed to stun you speechless, as he so often did.

He stood in the kitchen, hip popped against the counter with a pair of sweats hanging dangerously low on his hips. His phone was tucked between his shoulder and ear as he spoke low, hushed and hurried, his hands and a handful of feathers helping prepare two steaming mugs of coffee.

You didn’t eavesdrop, only approaching when Keigo breathed a sigh of relief and the phone was set down on the counter.

Somehow, you were able to surprise him.

Your arms looped around his waist from behind, circling and squeezing.

“I’m guessing you’ve gotta run?” You mumbled into his spine with a weak laugh. “I should say fly, huh?”

Keigo clicked his tongue, turning to drape his arms over your shoulders, “Nope, neither, dove. Two days.”

“… Two days?” You scrunch your brow, though Keigo was quick to smooth out the wrinkles with a quick kiss.

“Two days off a month, barring emergencies, not counting today. Fully off and all yours. And that’s not counting today,” Keigo’s smile warmed his voice. “Sound good?”

Your scrambled psyche rushed to catch up with the revelation that ‘holy fuck, Keigo actually had real, scheduled time off.’

“I can see how hard you’re thinking, chickpea,” Keigo tsked, somehow wrangling you onto the counter top, slotting himself between your parted thighs. “I’ve got this one, okay? I want to be around more.”

You bit your lip, gaze pointed towards the ground.

“For me or for you?”

“Why can’t it be both?”

You swallowed your tongue, still frowning.

It easily could.

Keigo needed the rest, even if he had trouble admitting it. As much as he claimed to be lazy, he was more so a workaholic due to his background. It was difficult for him to ever stop working for any considerable length of time.

Perhaps it wasn’t in his nature, just his training.

All the same, the idea of having Keigo around and mostly to yourself for a few days a month seemed goddamn fantastic.

“... Can it?”

Keigo softened visibly, rubbing at your side, just below the bottom hem of your sleep shirt. Maybe, he was a bit sheepish in those moments, but he’d had to be pretty stern making the calls he had that morning.

Speaking to the right people to allow him to get that time off had been a pain, but seeing the slow way you were deflating and melting into his arms made it worth it.

Not to mention he needed some lazy days as well.

“Of course it can,” Keigo gave a soft little smile. “Both of us getting a bit of extra rest, don’t you think?”

You flickered your gaze to his, where the gooeyness of his amber eyes caught and held you.

A part of you, one that had been particularly loud lately, screamed to ask for more reassurance. That in some way, Keigo was lying and you had to know.

But, with a deep breath, and a press of your forehead to his, you relaxed a bit.

Not enough, but it was a sure start.

“Alright, but only if you promise to let me help you relax too, and that includes today,” You silenced any retort he might have with a gentle kiss.

The moment you tried to pull away, Keigo’s hand was on the back of your neck, holding you steady and close.

“I dunno dove, it is my half-day,” He hummed with a raise of his eyebrows, the dark circles under his eyes hardly detracting from how luminous he so constantly was, “I think I’ll do whatever I’d like.”

You gave your own little grin, “That’s alright too, I guess. As long as you get some rest today.”

“So, a lazy day, that’s what I’m hearing?” Keigo’s wings fluttered at the concept.

With a nod and one more stolen kiss, you hummed, “A lazy day it is.”

[germvity]

RISES THE MOON

leon s kennedy x reader // 2 // the home away from home

leon regenerated before you, and he started looking for you in the tree line. eventually catching sight of you, the two of you made eye contact, but you didn't come to the campsite. instead, you ran off in another direction, and leon had to follow you into the fog.

genre: angst, attempted fluff

tags: leon tries to help you, touch starved reader, cuddling, nightmares, jill may be ooc- idk how to write her in this situation tbh 😭

warnings: nightmares, ptsd themes, mentions of bullying, violence and death

---

leon peeked into the small shack you inhabited in the woods. you had decorated it how you like and was quite cozy. you seemed busy, digging through your belongings that you kept in a chest. gently, the blonde knocks on your doorframe and you jump with a gasp, spinning around to see your fellow survivor. "sorry, i didn't mean to scare you." leon smiles sheepishly. "did anyone see you?!" you ask desperately, worry filling your eyes. "no, they were busy at the campsite." the cop furrows his brows, shuffling from foot to foot. "can i come in?" leon asks, keeping his voice soft. "i guess.." you mumble, remembering how desperate he was to help you. "nice place." his comment makes you a little flustered, and you look away bashfully. "thanks." you reply, sitting back down and continuing to sort supplies into med-kits and toolboxes.

leon sits behind you and crosses his legs, watching you carefully, something that made you grow nervous. "you have so much stuff." the blonde chuckles, hoping to ease your anxiety. "yeah... i used to hoard stuff for the other survivors before everything went bad." you shrug, "i see. perhaps we could help each other then." leon smiles, grabbing one of your med-kits to help. you let out a soft oh, glancing at the blonde on your right to carefully watch him. "hm?" he looks back at you and you fluster more, looking away. leon laughs a little, continuing to organise the kit how you were doing it. "you don't have to be so shy. i don't understand what's going on here yet, but i can keep you safe." leon says softly, glancing over at you again as he zips up the med kit. your lack of response makes the man nervous, and he gently rests his hand on your arm, hating how you flinch.

"i'll keep you safe, no matter what happens here. i'll help you and anyone else if they need it." leon's smile stumps you and you feel like crying. "you shouldn't even be here... if they find us then god knows what they'll do.." you whisper, putting your supplies away. "if who finds you?" leon asks, rubbing your arm softly. "them! all of them... anyone out there." you shudder, pulling your arm away as you move away slightly. "hey.. no one will hurt you, okay? i'll keep you safe. it's my duty, you have my word." he smiles sadly, pulling you against his chest to hug you. your breath catches in your throat, and you tense up. "it's okay. i'm gonna keep you safe." leon assures you, coddling your much smaller, malnourished form against his chest. you whimper softly, tears welling up in your eyes as you try to wiggle away from his burning touch. "it's okay.." leon soothes you, his fingers wiping away any tears.

eventually, you relax, clinging to his police vest with a few soft sobs. "is it really this bad?" leon whispers, his heart hurting for you. "yes..!" you cry, letting him hold you tightly. "hey, i have an idea." leon admits, and you hum softly, wet face staring up at him. "i can be your bodyguard so to speak, and my friend jill can keep you safe if i'm ever away." he smiles, seemingly happy with his suggestion. "i don't want anyone else getting hurt though.." letting out a small breath, you let his calloused, warm hand rest on your cheek, wiping away any tears. "we'll keep you safe and we have professional training in self defence. you shouldn't worry your pretty head." leon smiles at you, and you can't help but circle your arms around his waist to hold him closer. "thank you..." you whisper over and over again, a mantra that makes leon feel saddened for you.

"get some rest, you look like you need it." leon hushes your grateful rambling, and you fall silent as you huddle impossibly closer yet your eyes glance up at him for confirmation. "go on, i'll be here when you wake up. i'll keep you safe." the blonde assures you, and moves with you so he could bundle you up in your actually comfy cot. when the cop goes to sit down somewhere else, you sit up suddenly and catch his wrist. "don't go..." you beg, trying to pull him back to you. "please... please don't go..!" leon acts quickly as your breathing picks up. "okay, okay. i'll sit with you instead of on the floor." the officer smiles, heading back towards your bed.

when leon sits down, you can't help but try to press yourself under his arm so he would cuddle you. laughing at your attempt to slip under his arm like a needy kitten, leon wraps his arm around you securely. "you don't need my permission for this, y'know?" leon smiles, finding cute how you warmed up to his affection, however he couldn't help but also worry at your naivety to any positive touches. the officer felt like he had to protect you from any harms way, that he should hide you from the horrors of this world. but alas, all of it was out of his control and that was infuriating. "get some sleep." you hear leon whisper as he pulls your half asleep form up onto his lap and cuddles you against his chest. only humming in response, you eventually drift off and leon lets out a small sigh. "i'll keep you safe. i have to... it's my job!" leon speaks, despite knowing you can't technically hear him. "i have to make sure nothing happens to you whether it kills me or not. you're too precious." the blonde continues to monologue, before his own tiredness from a days worth of trials starts to get to him and he drifts off as well.

leon's brows furrow at the small noises that wake him up. he raises his head, neck aching from slouching over in and resting his head on you subconsciously. "y/n..?" he mumbles, becoming more awake when he realises your discomfort. you shuffle in his lap, distressed noises still falling from your lips. "hey, hey hey! it's okay, it's alright." leon shakes your shoulder softly, trying to be gentle with you. "y/n!" he calls a bit louder, finally jerking you awake with a startled inhale. you yelp and fall away from him, scrambling back with a wild look in your upset eyes. "don't hurt me! please don't hurt me!" you beg, keeping your hazy, tear-filled, sleepy eyes locked onto the figure in front of you. "hey, it's just me! it's leon, remember?" leon responds with a soft voice, slowly approaching you as if you were a wild animal. "leon..?" you whimper, blinking a few times and realising that it was in fact the blonde who looked deathly worried.

the man stretches out his arms for you, and you quickly rush for his comfort. you almost knock the poor cop over as you wrap your arms around his torso tightly. "it's okay, i've got you." leon lets out a small breath, rubbing your back as you cry against his uniform. "make it go away..! just make it all stop!" you cry loudly, hands gripping the back of the bullet proof vest leon adorned. "you're safe with me, i promise." leon offers instead, and you continue to shake with each desperate sob. "you poor thing... i'm not going to let anything get you anymore." leon sounds more sure of himself as you slowly calm in his warm embrace.

"please don't leave me alone." you whimper, feeling tired from crying. "i'm not going anywhere, okay? i'll stay with you for as long as i can." the blonde smiled, his fingers coming up to gently brush over your damp cheek. "i'm making it my duty to protect you whilst we try to figure a way out, okay? i'll keep you safe." you let out a sigh at his words. "thank you..." you whisper and the blonde laughs. "you shouldn't be thanking me." leon smiles, raising your head by your chin with his forefinger and thumb so he could look at you properly. you can't help but glance at his lips as he smiles at you, the air becoming more thick woth tension.

"there you are! jesus what the hell's happening in here?" a new, female voice that you didn't recognise chimed in, and the two of you jumped away from each other. "jill! thank god, are you alright?" leon smiles at the woman, and you follow him when he gets up to greet her. "i'm fine. who's this?" jill smiles at you softly. the aura around her was strong yet oddly comforting to you. "this is y/n. i'm going to be protecting them." leon declares to his friend. jill rolls her eyes. "he has quite the hero complex, doesn't he?" she jokes, whispering loudly as if leon couldn't hear her. you don't really respond, shuffling behind your new friend. "jill..." leon sighs, "don't worry, she's also here to help." you look at leon with uncertainty, and he smiles at you.

"sorry, didn't mean to be overbearing. i don't really know what else to do right now as it seems you're quite stressed. i'm jill valentine." the pretty woman extends her hand for you to shake, but you fully hide behind leon at her gesture. "be careful, they show signs of ptsd." leon scolds, and you feel a sense of comfort wash over your heavy mind. "oh! sorry... i'm still yet to find out what's going on here." jill laughs sheepishly, retracting her hand. "y/n, it's okay. jill's trustworthy." leon soothes you by taking his hand in yours, slowly coaxing you out to greet the woman.

"hello." jill smiles, now keeping her actions and tone soft to ensure she won't scare you. "hi..." you mumble, grabbing leon's wrist with your other hand for any sense of security. leon smiles, and looks back at jill. "jeez, they've really warmed up to you, huh?" jill jokes, and you're quick to jump to leon's defence. "he helps me!" you snap, but shrink back once you realise your outburst. leon rubs the back of your hand with his thumb comfortingly, and you relax slightly, but not fully. "it's alright. i didn't mean anything by it." jill raises her hands in faux surrender. "sorry..." leon says for you, as you seemed to have regressed to silence. "it's completely fine. nothing i haven't seen or dealt with before. i've got thick skin." jill smiles at you, and you feel your lungs deflate with relief that she isn't mad at you.

"come sit down, jill. we'll explain." leon gestures to the cot as you rest your head on his bicep. "sure." jill shrugs, following the two of you in, and settling down on the other end of the makeshift bed. when leon sits with his back against the wall, you curl up into his side, still uncertain of jill's company as the blonde speaks to her about what he's gathered so far.

[hopeless-ro-simptic]

Familiar Cerulean Eyes - Part 8

Click here for other parts! Part 9 is up!

Just gonna leave this here.... 

Warnings: heart breaking arguments, also spicey. 

Word Count: 3.5k

TAGLIST: @skzero-99 @superblyspeedydragon @jparra4587 @flyingowls @emrysaaryn @imuziawi @sheedaabee @peculiarinsomniac @littlelovebug98 @plutoneu @giftofwonder @kitty-kat-ash @fukyouthink @anarchys-bnha-mess @threbony @orenjineki @toobsessedsstuff @bamf-barnes @x-a-delama-x @inanabsentia @reallyshey @godsblesstheboi @operatorsdime @drownedbytears @emilymikado @fluidfandoms @gotagan @mikasackrmann @flowersgirl02 @bohica160 @andrastesbeard @riapxq @percabethismyotp14​

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Your eyes fluttered open, looking up into bright blue eyes that for once didn’t seen familiar. You let out a chirp flinching away from the blondes touch as you tried to sit up.

“Shhh, shhh, Kroshka, Lie back, you are alright.” You sniffed the air cautiously only to be surprised by the soft smell of the omega in front of you. You were in an unfamiliar room, with yet another unfamiliar person. Your body ached but for some reason you expected it to hurt worst. Tiny flashes of what had happened swirled in your mind panic setting in as you were unable to make sense of it all.

“D-dabi… help..” You’re voice was a scratchy whisper, your throat dry.

“It’s okay Kroshka. You’re alpha is right here. I am just here to help.” Sure enough, Dabi was asleep just about two feet down the bed in a chair, face resting on one of his arms, facing you. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, kind of cute.

You immediately relaxed at seeing him, your omega feeling safe. You glanced back to the omega in front of you, confusing crossing your features. You don’t remember there being an omega in the league before… who was she?

It was like she could read your mind, her immediately answering your unasked question.

“I’m Anna, a friend of Dabi’s, I’m a healer. You hit your head pretty bad, I need to check the wound.”

Your head? You couldn’t feel any pain in your head, you could definitely feel the pain in your stomach though, the rest of your body feeling completely sore, but your head felt completely fine.

Still you let her shift you enough to check behind the wrapping covering the back of your skull. It was weird, you couldn’t even feel her hand back there as she shifted things. You were about to ask her about it when Dabi’s form shifted, his eyes opening to rest on your own. Your heart lept into your throat at the intensity in them.

“You’re awake…” It was like he was breathing a sigh of release, like all of the worries he had ever had melted away at the sight of you. You didn’t understand it. Why was this alpha so concerned about you? Why did he care that much? Was it just his alpha being concerned for an omega that they claimed as theirs? A voice in the back of your mind was whispering the answer to you but it was too muddled to understand.

Anna had finished checking your head, shifting the bandages back into place before guiding you to lay back down. Stepping to obstruct your view of the alpha that you were locked in a stare-down with unable to break eye contact.

“You’re head is healing fine, with my quirk it should only take a couple more hours for it to completely heal, the staples will disappear on their own once it does, and everything should stay numb until they go away as well. You still need to rest, healing takes a lot of energy and if you move around too much you could easily rip a staple out, trust me that will be very awful for you. Dabi has my number if you need anything and I have told him to call me if anything happens. Seriously, anything. If you feel any pain in your head at all, call me..” She was packing up her med kit as she said this, glancing behind her to make eye contact with Dabi to reinforce her last statement.

“I guess I was lucky.” You could still barely manage a whisper, Anna grabbing a water bottle and passing it to you a frown on her lips as you took a drink.

“No you weren’t Kroshka. What happened to you… it’s not lucky and I’m really sorry that you had to go through that.”  

Anna said her goodbyes, leaving the two of you alone to go find Kurogiri to take her home. Dabi’s eyes were back onto your own and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes that you had been holding back since you woke up, memories that you didn’t want flooding your mind. All you could smell was leather and amber and it made you want to gag.

“Princess, what can I do to make things better?” Dabi was hovering just off the bed, looking like all he wanted to do was wrap you in his arms, and for once you and your omega agreed. That’s what you wanted too.

“Make the smell go away.” That was all it took and Dabi was crawling into the bed beside you, careful not to move you much as he gently rubbed his nose along your neck, slowly and gently scenting you, pulling you tight against him. Within minutes you were completely enveloped in the smell of cinnamon, whiskey and smoke.  You wrapped your own arms around his waist hesitantly, pulling him closer to you enjoying the scent, only for him to let out a soft groan of pain.

It was at that moment that you finally noticed he looked almost as beat up as you did. Confusion crossed your features as you slowly sat up, looking him over, much to his complaint as he let you go. His jaw was more purple than normal, his lip was cut, and the tiny amount of stomach that was peaking out under his shirt was bruised as well. You unconsciously ghosted your fingers over the stomach peaking out at you, a soft groan leaving the alpha’s lips again, this time not in pain.

“If you want to do that you’re going to have to wait little mouse, I’m not risking injuring you more right now as much as I’d like to.”

“What happened to you?” You ignored his comment, your omega internally squealing at the thought, your cheeks heating up.

A smirk graced the lips of the alpha laying down on the bed looking up at you, looking quite devilsh as his hand lightly caught your wrist, stopping you from pulling his shirt up further to check for more bruises and cuts.

“I had a run in with your alpha.” The cockiness on his face faded as he saw the realization dawn on your own face. Shoto had fought Dabi? He was looking for you? He was probably on his way! Wait.. was he… is he..?

“Is he okay?” Dabi frowned at the way your voice cracked, you pulling away from him curling in on yourself. One step forward two steps back his alpha growled internally at him.

“He’s fine, a little roughed up maybe, definitely a lot pissed off. He’s probably tracking me down right now, daddy Endevor in tow.” He shifted so that his arms were behind his head, looking up at the ceiling, his face guarded and any emotion missing once again. A perfect poker face of disinterest.

Your omega deflated at seeing his face like that, he had shown you so much raw emotion just minutes ago, yet he shut down so quickly. Like he didn’t care two shits about you. Like he just wanted to prove to the other alpha’s that he was better than them by having you in his grasp.

“Dab-“

“Do you love him?” He cut you off, staring at the ceiling like he couldn’t give two shits about your answer. Like he didn’t just ask that question.

You paused a frown pulling at your lips, you started playing with the charred blanket that was bunched up like a wall between the two of you.

“Not like I’m supposed to.” The words were barely a mumble, and you could feel the tears pooling in your eyes again. Once again you reminded yourself about what a crybaby you were, how was it possible to cry this much? Why did it feel like your heart was being ripped out slowly, the anxiety in the air mounting? You were sure that your scent was turning sour as the seconds ticked by. What was this stupid alpha doing, you were finally having a nice moment and he goes and ruins things?

“What does that even mean?” He continued to act like he couldn’t care less about you. Even when he could see the tears in your eyes from the corner of his own eyes. Even when he could smell the sadness tinging your usual (Y/S) scent.

“It means I don’t want him to be my alpha! I don’t want to be trapped in a loveless bond with him for the rest of my life. I want Touya back! I want … ” Finally the tears spilled onto your cheeks, dripping onto the blanket beneath you as you stared down at it, memories flooding your mind of a red-haired alpha calling you princess, a dark-haired alpha holding you tightly, both having a distinct scent of cinnamon and smoke and cerulean blue eyes that pierced into your soul. Could it be? Or were you just forcing yourself to see something that wasn’t there. It had been so long since you had seen Touya, since you had smelled him. You weren’t even sure you could trust your own memories. Touya was dead after all…but they had never found the body… Could he be?

“Who’s Touya?”

Anger flared up into your body, the tears drying up immediately. There was no way this could be the same person. Touya wasn’t such a fucking ass.

“My alpha.” You gritted the words out. The words feeling way more truthful than the many times you had called Shoto your alpha in the last several years.

Dabi hummed, rolling out of the bed, stretching and turning away from you, hiding his face from you.

“Seems to me like you have quite a few alpha’s little mouse. That’s a bit cruel to them don’t you think?”

“He’s dead you fucking asshole.”

“Is he now? Is that why you’re screwing his brother?”

You froze, hearing the controlled anger in Dabi’s voice. He was upset.. what was his problem?

“I haven’t touched Shoto…” You watched with confusion as the anger in you swirled mixing with the panic settling in as you watched the alpha grab his phone which was lighting up with message after message, putting on his jacket like he was about to leave again.

“Where are you going?”

“I need to go finished killing Mr. Compress off for one, and for two I need to go give Shigaraki a head’s up that your child alpha is probably on his way to kill me.”

“Dabi wait-“

“What?!” Finally the angry alpha looked at you, fighting to keep his tone under control, to keep his face disinterested. He was losing.  

“I never said he was Shoto’s brother.” You tried to keep your voice even, watching as his eyes widened just a fraction. You don’t think you would have noticed it if you weren’t studying his eyes so closely as it was. There was no way he should have known that. Endevor hadn’t flaunted any of his kids except for Shoto, and that was only recently. The uneasy silence that followed ignited a flame in you that you couldn’t ignore. Seconds ticked by as you stared at him, Dabi’s gaze for once anywhere but on you as he tried to come up with an excuse.

All at once it clicked in your brain. Why he chose you at the market, why the smell was so damned familiar, why he knew that you wouldn’t be burnt by his quirk, why he was so angry at the idea of you with Shoto, why your omega yearned for him like no tomorrow, why he was so kind and gentle to you when he was a damned villain who was known for being the exact opposite, why there was a fur blanket sitting halfway in your lap now, too similar to the one from all those years ago. You knew who he was, there was no denying it anymore, and you were pissed.

“You lying son of a bitch. You let me believe you were dead!” You launched off the bed snarling, stalking towards the alpha, anger clear on your face as he backed up with his hands up in mock surrender until he hit the door behind him, closing the both of you in the room.

“Mouse, you need to relax, you’ll hurt yourself,” His voice sounded low and gravelly, a warning, not at all the same as it used to when you were kids. He had changed so much, it was no wonder you hadn’t recognized him. Even his scent had matured, the distinct smell of whiskey mingling in. Not to mention the scars… when exactly had he gotten those?

“You left me alone! In that house! With your father!” You were almost to screaming now as you accused him, only shutting up when he covered your mouth with his hand, switching places, pressing you against the door towering over you, his other arm resting against the door, holding himself up.

“Y/N if you don’t shut up I will make you shut up. Let’s not scream my identity out for the whole League to hear, if you want to scream so bad I will give you a reason to.”  

Your cheeks heated up, how was this the same Touya as the one you had grown up with. How was this the same person. You guessed he wasn’t in a way the same person. He was a villain now, a thug, a murderer. He had grown up in a big way and left you behind.

“You left me.” You mumbled against his hand, it was muffled, but the look in his eyes told you he understood your words anyways.

He looked down at the floor for a moment, licking his lips and steadying himself before he looked back up at you. You deserved to know. He knew you did. You deserved the world, but he didn’t think you would want it from him anymore after this.

“I did. I left you alone in that house, after I promised I wouldn’t. You’re right. I let you believe I was dead, and left you behind and didn’t look back.” You flinched at his words, hiccupping against his hand that was covering your mouth, his thumb moving to wipe at your tears. “I thought he would let you go… I really did princess. I thought he would just take the loss and send you back to your parents, or at least dump you onto the streets where you could find your own way. I never in a million years thought he would just pass you along to that little brat. I didn’t think he would keep you.”

He paused, inhaling your scent, watching your face go through a myriad of emotions unable to settle on one. He had singlehandedly ruined your life. Shoto wasn’t old enough to protect you when Dabi left… meaning Endevor had years to torture you in whatever way he saw fit with no one to stop him. Fuyumi being an omega wouldn’t have been able to do anything, and Natsuo, a beta, had never had the guts to stand up to his alpha of a father. Not to mention even after Shoto was old enough, would he go against his father? He was the favorite child after all. Not to mention all the things that had gone wrong for you since Dabi kidnapped you in the last several days. You have almost died twice already. And all of it was Dabi’s fault.

“You wanted to be free so bad. I thought it was the best way to get us both what we wanted. I thought-”

You yanked his hand away from your mouth, your voice ringing out strong against the quiet room, shocking you both.

“All I wanted was you. I never wanted to be free if it meant I couldn’t have you.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Dabi looked down at you, a pained expression on his face. No matter what he did he would just keep hurting you. He couldn’t fix this. He couldn’t do anything right, other than being a villain. He should have just left things alone at the market. He should have just taken you with him when he left all those years ago. He should let you go now... before the brat gets here. Give you a head-start to a life you deserved.

You could see his thoughts running across his face a mile a minute. He had changed so much since you had known him. He was a completely different person now, yet your omega still knew him, you still knew exactly who he was deep inside. He was the person you missed with every ounce of your being. He was the boy you fallen in love with as children. He was the alpha that you wanted now.  

So for once in your life, you made a choice. Your own choice. You gripped his shirt, pulling him down to you, pressing your soft lips against his rough ones, taking the quiet strangled noise from the alpha as a good sign. It only took a split second for Dabi to react to you, molding his lips against your own, pressing you back against the door as he towered over you. His hands moving to grip each side of your face, tilting it up for a better angle, thumbs wiping away what was left of your previous tears, long fingers tangling into the hair behind your ears.

You let yourself melt into his touch, your grip on his shirt loosening until dropping it all together to warp your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you even still, stepping up onto your tiptoes. You couldn’t help it; your omega was begging you to get closer to the man in front of you and you were done ignoring her.  Dabi was feeling a similar way, his tongue darting out between his lips, running along your bottom one asking for entrance, which you granted with a breathy whimper.

You could tell he had experience, the way his tongue rolled against your own was practiced, slow and almost lazy, the feeling of the cool metal ball contrasting with the heat of his mouth. He was taking his time, exploring you thoroughly, slowly, sensually. You on the other hand could feel yourself heating up, your body aching to be flush against his. You didn’t want to take your time. You finally found your alpha and you just wanted to be marked as his before you lost him again. Your omega was growing antsy, your hips rolling against him on their own, a soft moan leaving your lips at the friction causing the alpha in front of you to chuckle lowly.

“Slow down baby, no need to rush this. You’re going to hurt yourself.” He shifted his lips to your jaw, pressing kisses along it, stopping to nip just under your ear, sucking on the skin there, eliciting another moan from your lips, your fingers digging into his shoulder, your other hand tangling into his dark hair pulling subconsciously, pulling a low growl of satisfaction from the alpha. The sound directly in your ear causing your insides to clench, the smell of your building slick wafting through the room.

You couldn’t help it, the noise building up in your throat and bubbling out with no control as you purred at his touch. It was like your omega had been dying of thirst until the very second he touched you. He was just as affected as you were, melting at the sounds you were making, his hands dropping down, gripping you under your butt, lifting you up and wrapping your legs around his hips using the door to hold you as his hands rested under your thighs, kneading them roughly.

You were practically shaking, dropping your hands, dragging them down his body hurriedly, fingers fumbling at the button on his pants, your omega barking at you in your mind to hurry up. You needed this, him, all of him. You were only stopped when one of his hands left your thigh, using the door and one of his knees to help keep  you up as he easily captured both of your wrists in his large hand, holding them tightly together between the two of you, bringing them up only to press chaste kisses right where he could feel your pulse running through them, his eyes watching your own like a predator, his alpha’s fangs dragging against them slowly.

You let out a moan at the sight.  You wanted him. Now.

The world had other plans however, the door suddenly disappearing from behind you, causing you and Dabi to plummet to the floor. Him landing on top of you, causing you to wince at the pain in your stomach, cradling your head to insure you didn’t hit it again. When your eyes focused you were looking up at, once again, an annoyed blue haired alpha.

 You were really starting to hate Shigaraki. 

[hisoknen]

warnings: dubcon, mirror sex, unprotected sex, mild degradation, malpractice lol wc: 2.9k prompt: “do as you’re told.”

a/n: thank you @joyousandverywarlike​ for being the best beta reader, friend and hype lady! i appreciate you endlessly

Your lower back has been killing you for weeks. When you went to the doctor, they had recommended Advil a few times daily, but it certainly wasn’t getting any better. You couldn’t sit at work properly. Getting out of bed sent pain shooting down to your legs and you couldn’t take it anymore. You finally decided to go back and beg for a physical therapist recommendation.

The clinic was very intimate and quaint. The walls are a soft beige paired with dark brown chairs and couches. You sit in the waiting room, idly scrolling through your phone after checking in. 

Your eyes move up from your phone as you hear a low voice call your name. There’s a toned man with dark brown hair giving you a crooked, charming smile. He has a white button-down that snuggly wraps around his figure, paired with a dark green tie.

“Uh, that’s me-” you thickly swallow as you rise from the chair walking toward where he stood. “Right this way,” he holds the door open, letting it go as you cross the threshold. 

“I am Doctor Shindou, you can call me Doctor Yo,” he speaks as he strides in front of you. You can see the muscles in his back ripple against his tight shirt. “Right in here, you can take a seat,” he motions as you step past him and find the spot. “So what brings you in today?” he settles himself in front of the desk, taking a look at the file in his hands. 

“I’ve been having an ache in my back for quite some time now,” you relay to him the steps you’ve been taking with pain meds and how work has become a challenge. Taking in his unruly dark brown hair and warm chocolatey eyes. 

“Where would you say it’s located?” His jaw fixes as he holds out a diagram. You can’t help but let your eyes wander to his large hands, nails trimmed, before you point at the spot.

“Did you start experiencing this after something in particular?” He places the chart onto the table. You stare up at him taking in his gaze wandering down your body before climbing up to meet your eyes. “Picking up a heavy box or falling?”

“Nothing I can really think of.” Your brow furrows as you try to rack your brain for something inn particular that could have started this all, coming up blank.

“Chin up, Y/n!” He clasps his large hands around yours holding them tight, the warmth radiating against your skin. “We’ll figure this out together!” He assures you with a vibrant smile. The initial contact startles you, but after taking in his warm gaze, you nod with a smile.

“Stand up for me, yeah?” He drops your hand, rising. Gathering your bearings, you stand. He smiles warmly, closing the distance between you. Taking a step toward you, a little too close for comfort. Shindou wraps his arms around you, pressing his fingers into the small of your back. You stumble forward, against his chest.

“Is it here?” His breath fans across your face, a hint of mint washing through you. You glance up at him with a start, the same vibrant smile from before sending a shudder through your body.

“Uh, yeah-” you can feel your cheeks heating up, eyes darting to the floor. “It’s actually just a bit lower down.” You aren’t lying. He needs to know where it is, but the close proximity and prompting for his hands to travel lower feels indecent. 

You wouldn’t mind letting your own hands wander down his body. Worse things could happen. The hottest man you’ve encountered in months has his hands on you, who are you to complain?

“Here?” He asks, his hand lightly tracing down your back to the small divots at the base, thumb swirling circles against the fabric of your shirt. 

“Yes-” you clear your throat as his touch lingers a second too long. Doctor Yo steps away from you, seemingly not as phased by the close proximity you shared only moments before. 

“Lumbar pain is fairly common, let’s try out a few things and let me know if you feel pain or a stretch anywhere.” He shoots you a friendly smile, walking to his desk to make notes.

This couldn’t have all been in your head, right? He could have checked from the side if he wanted to, but he came at you straight on. It seemed a bit too casual for a physician to be doing. But then again, you aren’t going to be the one to complain. You think to yourself, recalling the feeling of his body close to your own.

“Y/n, you still with me?” A voice brings you back to reality, you can feel the heat creep onto your ears. 

“So what I’m going to have you do is put your legs shoulders width apart and bend at the hips,” he motions with his own body. “Make sure to keep your back straight as you lean forward and go at it at a 90-degree angle.” You follow his motions, feeling a stretch in your muscles. 

“Feel anything?” He asks tilting your head up. You find him in front of you. “Here I’m going to take your hands and adjust you real quick,” his fingers grasp at your wrist, lightly tugging your body forward. 

“Make sure you keep the angle, angel.” You look down at the floor, the name sending chills through your body. “You’re a little off-kilter. Here one second.” Shindou drops your wrists throwing you off balance momentarily, standing up straight. 

“Everything good?”

“Ah, yes, sorry I could feel the stretch. I just needed a second to catch my breath.” You assure him. Taking the opportunity to slow your heart that’s pounding too fast for a physical therapist visit.

“Alright, this time, grab onto the exam table for something to prop you up,” he smiles kindly. 

“Okay, I’m ready,” you look down and adjust your feet before bending forward once more, fingers latching onto the cool plastic, feeling his gaze on your body.

“Like this, right?” You let out a breath, relaxing into the position. The stretch feels fantastic. Dr. Yo really knows what he’s talking about.

“Almost, here more like this,” you sense him moving behind you and feel him press gently against you, hands lowering onto your hips to push you down slightly. 

“That’s better,” he moves slowly, sending your warmth through you. “See, if you don’t do it right, it can actually be more harmful than helpful.” His laughter makes you uneasy. There is something about it that you can’t quite place. It feels empty.

“Doctor Yo, I-” you try and straighten up. 

“Do as you’re told.” The tone he’d taken at the beginning of your appointment has disappeared completely. Once light and friendly, his words are now cold and stern, fingers digging into your clothed hips.

Your mouth dries up. You can only focus on the heat radiating off of his body as he commands you, the shape of his hardening cock imprinting into you.

“Can you feel it?” You can’t tell if he’s talking about the stretch from the exercise or his growing erection pressed flush against you. He dips his fingers underneath your shirt, scaling them up to your waist, kneading your flesh.

“Lucky for you, I have a tool that is perfect for getting your muscles relaxed,” you can feel his breath fan across the back of your neck as he cranes over your body. His hands moving to your hips, thumbs pressed into your lower back. You let out a startled gasp as vibrations begin to course through his fingertips. He lets out a soft chuckle above you, massaging into the muscle.

“Feel’s good, right?” He pulls your ass to his strained cock. A soft moan floats past your lips as you feel the vibrations thrum through your tense muscles. Maybe this is all just his method of practice. Your body that were once tight and sore is starting to release tension.

“I- It does,” you nod your head, moving back against him without thought. 

“These might get in the way.” He pulls away from you, releasing your hips in a swift motion. The cold air hits your naked skin the instant he drags your shorts down to your knees. 

“Dr. Yo,” you try to push off of the table. 

“Ah-ah,” he pushes your back, “You didn’t even wear panties to come here?” His tongue clicks in amusement

Your cheeks heated up. He shouldn’t be doing this. It’s not like you knew something like this would happen, you left in a hurry this morning to make it here on time. You could reason with everything else he had done up to this point, but this was another level. 

“What do we have here,” your body jolts forward at the light touch he directs at your glistening core. You can feel his breath tickling the skin, craning your neck back to see what he’s doing. He’s crouched down, parallel to your indecent body. His eyes look over to you when he notices your body shift. 

“We can’t have you making a mess in my office, Y/n.” His mouth closing in on your exposed cunt as he envelopes your lips. You let out a moan, the feeling of his tongue softly trailing up and down, sending a wave of vibrations to the sensitive bundle of nerves. 

You feel his smile against your skin after letting out a string of incoherent sounds as he continues his assault. The combination of the vibrations and the swirling of his tongue take over your mind. 

You hear a shuffling accompanied by the sound of a zipper as he disconnects from your core. You let out a whine at the loss of contact.

“But if you stretch in one position for too long, it’s no good,” he whispers into your ear, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you flush against his chest. Your back arches as your ass is pushed flush against his cock, a bead of precum leaking onto your back. Your head rests against his shoulder, his other hand wandering to your hips. 

“How about we turn over here so we can see your form?” He shifts his body so that the both of you are now facing the mirror beside the exam table. Your heart picks up when you take in the reflection. He has his hand wrapped around your throat, tilting your head back, and his other hand sneaking around your front to prod your clit.

“See, for the most part, you have it down. But I think we need to make one more adjustment to make sure the form is perfect Y/n,” the hand vanishes from its place, a whine escaping your lips at the loss of delicious contact. 

“I think this will do the trick,” you can feel the tip of his cock running a lazy line up and down your soaked lips. He sends another steady wave of vibrations to his length, teasing you while you struggle to let him know what you want. 

“Pl-” you try to get out, the vibrations increasing in their intensity. Your mouth hangs open, eyes closing while you focus on the sensations overcoming your body. 

“Eyes open,” he commands, his hand tightening its grip around your throat, pulling you from your lustful thoughts.

In one fluid motion, he has your lips splayed open as he buries his cock in you. A gargled gasp escapes from your open mouth, walls convulsing around him as they attempt to accommodate his size. The stretch is laced with pain and pleasure. 

The pronounced veins on the underside of his cock imprint their memory into your mind. Your entire body just a vessel meant to receive the pleasure he is willing to give you.

“Fuck Y/n,” Shindou lets out a strangled groan. Dragging his cock slowly out of your quivering hole, only to plunge back into it once more with haste, mouth attaching to the soft spot where your neck and shoulder meet.

“Your slutty pussy is just sucking me inside.” He ruts into you, gradually picking up his pace. Snaking his hands to your front, finger sending waves of pleasure the moment it makes contact with your bundle of nerves. 

Pleasure surges through you, your mind going blank as he uses your cunt to please himself, fingers creeping past your lips. “Suck.” Hazily, you wrap your lips around his fingers, swirling your tongue around his digits. 

“Fuck angel, you’re really getting the hang of this,” his voice is full of enthusiasm while he continues to pump himself into you. You can feel yourself on the edge of climax, your cunt milking his cock, each stroke timed with a growl in his throat. 

“Come for me, Y/n,” his fingers push down onto your clit while picking up his pace. The urgency in his rumbling voice and the pulsing of his fingers pressing into you sends you over the edge. You cry out his name as the orgasm is ripped from your body. His fingers don’t let up their pace as he slows inside of you. Your cunt threatens to push him out with the way it squeezes around him.

“Good girl,” the slick sounds of cock moving in and out of your abused hole reverberate around the room, slowly coming to a halt as he stills inside of you. His heavy breathing tickles the back of your neck.

Your knees give way under you, and he moves in tandem with you to the floor. The slick covers the insides of your thighs as you pant, recovering from the waves of pleasure that coursed through your body.

“On your knees,” he lets out in a raspy breath. “What do yo-”

“We’re not done with your exercises Y/n,” you weakly crawl forward so that your knees are pressed are on the tile, your arms trembling as you press your palms into the cold surface. 

“Knees apart,” he prods your thighs spreading them for you. “They need to be line with your shoulders,” he instructs, whipping his mouth with the back of his hand, grabbing hold of your hip.

“Your eyes need to be looking straight ahead, so you keep your spine in line.” He positions behind you, bottoming out in your stretched hole. “You’re going to need to alternate between curling your back and straightening it.” You push back against him, following his instructions with a weak ‘yes.’ The authoritative tone in his voice ringing through your ears. 

“Just like that. Fuck, you feel amazing.” You let out small moans as he continues his sloppy thrusts, using your body to stroke his cock. Continuing to undulate your back like he’d instructed, you feel his cock begin to twitch inside of you.

“Plea-” you beg him to give you more. Your core flexing and releasing around, you begin to push back against him, forgetting all about your instructions.

“You want more, huh?” His grip on your hips is impossibly tight. Fingernails dig into your flesh. With each thrust, you can feel the vibrations strike against your cervix, tears pooling in your eyes, and clouding your vision. Pain and pleasure blend into one as he fucks into your spent body. 

“You have such-” he thrusts into your tight hole, “an eager little pussy.” You can hear the sound of him pulling air through tightly clenched teeth.

“Are you that hungry for my cum?” He pulls at your thighs, using them as a lever to inch further inside of your cunt, his thick cock threatening to enter your womb.

“I’m gonna cu-” you’re cut off by the tremors in his cock intensifying. Your hands give out from under you, your cheek pressed to the floor, vision going blurry. The buildup of pressure in your stomach releasing.

He stays buried in you, wet forehead resting against your heaving back, both lost for air. Your pussy continues to milk the cum from his cock as you both let out soft noises. Gruff pants escape from his lips with each pull.

The moment he pulls out of your abused core, you can feel the cum spilling out. You lay on the floor to catch your breath. The cold tile is the only thing tying you to reality. There is no sound in the room other than the both of you gasping for air, bodies spent.

“You still have plenty of work to be done before that back of yours is back in working order.” He smiles at you before walking to the mirror to readjust his tie. He walks over to the desk and opens the cupboard, pulling a towel from it and tossing it your way.

“Clean yourself up, you’ll need to schedule a follow-up appointment on the way out. Make sure you look… somewhat presentable,” he nods to your disheveled figure. Is he just going to fuck you and leave? Move onto his next patient while you lie in the other room, cum spilling out of your sore cunt?

“I’ll be seeing you here again next week.” You look up, startled to find him zipping his pants, threading the belt back through the loops. You hadn’t even noticed him standing, let alone dressing once again. 

“I’m excited to continue working with you, Y/n! You’ll be feeling as good as new soon enough.” The same buoyant smile crosses his lips, a glint of satisfaction shining in his eyes as he closes the door.

—

masterlist

[ghosttotheparty]

say my name and say it twice (cotton candy skies)

30. also on AO3 chapter twenty nine

Lucas is leaning against a crosslight pole, ignoring the cold seeping through his jacket and sweatshirt (and ignoring the cold biting at his cheeks and nose, which he’s almost positive are the same shade of pink as the sky.) He scrolls on his phone, his fingers moving deftly across the screen as he responds to the group chat with Kes and Jayden (“you guys are so stupid”), and as he sends a message to Isa. 

He came out to her the day after he came out to the guys, through a text message. 

Hey, Ies So I don’t really know how to tell you this so I’m just going to say it I’m gay  And I’ve actually, really come to terms with it since moving and I have a boyfriend (his name is Jens, I think you’d really like him) and I kind of just wanted to tell you because I love you and you’re really important to me even though we haven’t been talking much so yeah

And her response had made him cry.

Lucas. I love you so much and I support you and love you no matter what I expect to meet this Jens, I need deem him worthy of you

Now he responds to a meme she’s sent but looks up when he hears Damien’s voice say his name. 

He grins as he watches Damien, Lena, and Rosa come out of the studio building, laughing as Lena attempts to trip Rosa unsuccessfully. 

“Hey, honey!” Lena says as they approach him and they both reach out, slapping their palms together before she lifts herself up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. 

“Jens is talking to Cecile, he should be down soon,” Rosa tells him, answering his unspoken question before kissing his cheek and Lucas nods as he shakes Damien’s hand. “I know you miss him,” she adds, smiling sweetly. 

“I do,” he says, sighing. “How was practice?” 

“Good,” Damien says, his voice a stark difference from Rosa’s, which is light and gentle, soft-spoken as Jens had said, whereas Damien’s, while also gentle, is low and rough. “I would like to go to bed like, right now, but I have homework.”

Rosa gives him an exaggerated frown, drawing a finger down her cheek from her eye, and he laughs, hitting her shoulder lightly. Lucas shakes his head at them, smiling, and he catches Lena’s eye. She shakes her head, copying him, and rolls her eyes. 

“Stop flirting in front of Lucas,” she says, hitting Damien. “You’re gonna make him miss Jens even more.”  

“Shut up,” Rosa says, her cheeks darkening, as Damien hits Lena back saying, “We’re not—” as she giggles, hiding from his swinging hand behind Lucas. 

“Anyway,” Rosa says when Lena steps next to Lucas. “Practice was fine. Cecile is excited about the recital coming up so she’s extra bubbly.” “If that’s what you want to call it,” Damien says. 

“What do you mean?” Lucas asks. 

“It’s like she chugs five cans of Red Bull before we get there,” Lena says, looking up at him. 

“It’s actually ridiculous. But, also kind of encouraging?” Damien says, cocking his head, and Lena and Rosa both nod, agreeing. 

“She’s kind of like Lena before she has a date,” Rosa says. 

“Look,” Lena says, holding a finger up, and Damien smiles as he pulls his phone partially out of his pocket, looking at the screen. “I get very excited to see Elsa because she’s fun, and you know that.” 

“She is, it’s true,” Rosa concedes.

“She is,” Damien adds, and sighs. “I have to go, I have a project due tomorrow and I have not started.” He does finger guns to Lucas. 

“What’s it about?” Lucas asks. 

“Psychoanalytic behaviour theory.”

“Eeee-yikes.” Lena makes a face, grimacing. “Good luck.”

“Thank you for your sympathy.” 

“Always.” 

“I’ll see you later,” Damien says to Lucas, shaking his head at Lena as she gives him a faux smile. 

“You know, you and Damien would be really cute together,” Lucas says to Rosa after Damien leaves, and she gives him a disappointed look as Lena squeals, grabbing Lucas’s arm and shaking him back and forth. 

“Lucas, don’t you start…” 

“I’m just saying!” 

“Well, stop saying,” she says, leaning forward with emphasis, a hint of a teasing smile on her face. 

He holds his hands up, surrendering, still laughing as Lena shakes him one last time, finally shoving him and letting go. 

“You would be cute together,” Lena says, just to jab at Rosa. 

“Sto-o-o-op.”

“Whatever,” Lena huffs. “Anyway. I’m tired, so I’m going to go to bed as soon as I get home.”

“No homework?” Lucas asks, bumping his shoulder against Rosa affectionately. 

“Oh, no, there’s definitely homework. But am I gonna do it?” She raises her eyebrows, looking at him. “No.”

He holds back a laugh, inhaling, and then purses his lips, furrowing his brow at her. 

“I feel like you should do your homework.” 

“I feel like I need a nap.” 

He shrugs. 

“Can’t argue with that.” 

“Well, I’m gonna do my homework,” Rosa says. “So I’m going to go home.”

“Can I walk you?” Lena asks. “I don’t wanna be lonely.” She sticks her lower lip out, tilting her head slightly and giving Rosa puppy eyes. 

“Sure, why not.” 

Lena drops the look immediately. 

“Because I for sure am going to annoy the shit out of you.”

“Fuck.” 

Lucas laughs and leans down as they both tilt their heads up to kiss his cheeks simultaneously, and he smiles, his cheeks turning pinker than they already were. 

He watches as they walk down the sidewalk together, and smiles more when Rosa catches Lena’s hand and swings it. Lena lifts their hands and makes Rosa twirl, catching her by the arm when she stumbles and Lucas can just hear their laughter from where he stands. 

He waits a few more minutes, his hands curled into fists and stuffed into his pockets, until the doors open again and Jens steps out, his cheeks flushed red, his hair mussed, his mouth smiling. He shuts the door behind himself with both hands and then comes toward Lucas, clutching the strap of the duffel bag going across his chest. 

“Hey,” he says, stepping up close to Lucas and grabbing his waist, kissing his mouth and swinging him around slightly, the soles of Lucas’s shoes rubbing roughly against the concrete.

“How was practice?” Lucas asks when they pull back, pressing his cold hands to Jens’s face. His skin is warm. 

“Good.” He steps back slightly so he can see Lucas’s face clearly. “I’m really tired.”

“Understandable.” Lucas kisses him again, tossing his arms over his shoulders. “The flat’s empty tonight, do you want to come over?” 

“That sounds good. I don’t have any homework either, so we can just chill. Or, I don’t have any homework due tomorrow, I definitely have something due next week but…” 

Jens keeps talking, but Lucas glances past him, over his shoulder. 

And sees Robbe.

And Moyo. And Aaron. 

He almost immediately feels sick, his eyes locking with Robbe’s, who looks surprised, frozen in his tracks like a deer in headlights, like a child caught stealing candy. 

“Uhm…” Lucas interrupts Jens, not taking his eyes off the guys, his arms slowly coming off of Jens’s shoulders as he steps back. 

“What?” Jens asks, his smile dropping as he notices Lucas’s distressed expression, and his hands fall from Lucas’s waist. Lucas’s eyes flick to Jens’s and back, gesturing to them subtly. 

Jens turns, and what little was left of his smile that was left on his face vanishes. He looks blank for a second before he steps away from Lucas, facing the guys. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, his voice lower than usual, shaking slightly. Lucas looks to him, his heart aching, scared. He wants to grab his hand. 

“Jens, I swear, we didn’t know there was even a dance studio here,” Moyo says, stepping forward slightly when Robbe and Aaron don’t say anything. 

“What are you doing here?” Jens asks again, slower, louder. 

They’re quiet, looking dumbstruck, speechless. 

“Get out of here,” he says quietly, shaking his head faintly. 

“Jens—” Robbe steps forward, looking to comfort him, to reassure him, but Lucas shoots him a look, a not now, just leave, please go look. 

“Get out of here,” he says again, stepping forward with emphasis. 

Lucas reaches out and grabs his sleeve, tugging it gently, trying to pull him away, glancing at the few dancers around, who are starting to turn to watch. 

“Leave!” 

“Baby…” Lucas says quietly, tugging his sleeve again, stepping closer to him. “Come on.”

The guys finally go, giving Jens one last apologetic, somewhat frightened, look. Lucas wonders if they’ve ever seen Jens like this, this angry, this scared. Robbe gives Lucas another look like he’s asking for reassurance, and Lucas shakes his head. Just go.

“Fuck,” Jens says softly, lifting a hand and pressing his fingers to his forehead. 

“Jens…” Lucas pulls at his arm, trying to pull him somewhere else, somewhere where there aren’t people looking, watching, wondering. 

“I…” Jens inhales shakily, and Lucas pulls again, finally leading him to the entrance of the alley, murmuring “Come on.” 

When they’re behind the wall and there aren’t any eyes on them, Lucas pushes Jens’s hand out of the way and brushes his fingertips over his face, over his forehead, brows, cheekbones, nose, lips. 

“Okay?” he asks softly when Jens takes a deep breath, his eyes closed. 

Jens lets out a quiet whimper, and his face scrunches up. Lucas shushes him quietly, pulling him into a hug, wrapping his arms around his neck and feeling Jens’s wrap around his waist, pulling him closer. Jens buries his face in Lucas’s neck. 

“I’ve got you,” Lucas whispers quietly. 

“They weren’t supposed to know,” Jens chokes out, his voice thick. 

“I know, baby,” Lucas sighs, and he shuts his eyes. 

Jens pulls away abruptly. “I’m not—” He cuts off with a sharp breath. “I’m not ashamed of you.”

“I know, Jens,” Lucas says, shaking his head. “I know.”

“It’s just…” His eyes flick back and forth between Lucas’s, his mouth ajar as he seems to think his way through his thoughts and words. 

Lucas lifts a hand and wipes a tear from his cheek. 

“I’ve always had a secret,” Jens says after a second, quietly. Lucas listens. “For a little while, it was that I had a sister. I don’t know why,” he says adamantly. “I love her, with all my heart, it was just… how it was. And then it was the ballet. For years. And now they know about that, and I just…” 

“I understand, baby, I do,” Lucas whispers, leaning in and pressing his forehead to Jens’s, closing his eyes. 

“I don’t have anything,” Jens says, his voice breaking, and Lucas pulls back to look at him. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Like…” He stops, crying, and Lucas holds him. “I’ve always had a secret, I’ve always had something that was mine, that I…” He trails off, looking at Lucas, his eyes glassy and desperate, and Lucas nods, leaning in and kissing him gently. 

“I don’t have anything,” he says again.

“It’s okay, Jens,” Lucas whispers, ignoring the cars driving past, the sounds of voices from outside the studio, ignoring the rest of the world. He pulls him back into a hug, his arms around his neck, and carefully runs his hands through Jens’s hair, scratching his scalp and tugging his hair gently. 

Jens’s shoulders shake and he hides his face in Lucas’s neck again, against the warm skin of his neck (Lucas can feel the chill that’s beginning to set in on the tip of Jens’s nose and cheeks) and the fabric of his coat. Lucas sways him back and forth, squeezing his own eyes shut and trying not to cry, tightening his arms around him. 

When Jens’s shoulders stop shaking and his arms loosen around Lucas, the sky has darkened slightly. 

“They don’t know about this,” Lucas says softly. 

“Yes, they do,” Jens responds helplessly, lifting his head. His eyelashes are dark and clumped together like he’s wearing heavy mascara, and his cheeks are red. 

“No,” Lucas says, specifying, moving his hands to hold Jens’s face, his thumbs brushing under his eyes. “This right here. This moment. It’s ours.”

Jens’s face doesn’t change, and then—

“I love you.” 

Lucas smiles, pulling him in for a soft, slow kiss. 

“I love you too.”

---

The flat is empty when they get there, though Jens had been prepared just in case someone was home. 

“What do we say if Zoë or Senne is home?” Lucas had asked as they made their way to the flat, their hands linked between them. 

“The truth, I guess,” Jens had responded, shrugging. “Might as well.”

It’s also dark, and Lucas turns the lights on as Jens messages his mom. 

“She says I can spend the night as long as I go to school tomorrow.” 

“Promise to go to school tomorrow?” Lucas asks, raising his eyebrows as he takes Jens’s jacket and hangs it by the door. 

“I guess,” he sighs dramatically, and Lucas kisses him again, smiling. 

They lay in Lucas’s bed together, their legs tangled, facing each other, Lucas’s fingers brushing over the back of Jens’s hand between them. They leave the lights off, letting the small amount of light left in the sky and from the streetlamps come through the window. 

“I might come out to Zoë when she gets home,” Jens says, his voice soft, his eyes watching Lucas’s fingertips run over his knuckles and down his fingers. 

“She’s coming home really late tonight,” Lucas says. 

“Then maybe I’ll tell her in the morning. It would be hard to take the same route to school as her without telling her I’m here.”

Lucas chuckles quietly. 

“True.” He looks up at Jens, studying him, seeing the flicker of uncertainty flash across his face. “She’s going to be supportive. You know she is.” 

“I know,” Jens says, almost inaudibly. “I’m still nervous.”

Lucas laces his fingers with Jens’s, squeezing lightly. 

“I wish…” Jens sighs. “I wish I could just… not care about what anyone says. Or thinks.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Like…” He shifts, his legs untangling from Lucas’s and then one of them laying on top of him. “I wish I could be like you.” “What do you mean?” Lucas says, furrowing his brows in confusion. 

“I mean… You don’t care about what other people think and—” 

“That’s not true,” Lucas interrupts, and Jens’s eyes snap back to his. “I do care.” Jens doesn’t say anything, listening. 

“I care too much, honestly.” He sighs, looking at where their hands are joined, watching his own thumb run back and forth over the back of Jens’s hand. “I care so much that I just… pretend not to. And hope that eventually maybe the care will just go away.” 

“It doesn’t seem like you care,” Jens says. 

“Maybe it’s working, then.” 

Jens smiles softly. 

“I mean… I care about how people look at me, what they think about my clothes—” he looks down at his purple pants and makes a face— “and my makeup, about the kinds of things people say online about people like me. And it’s… scary, you know?” 

Jens nods. 

“So I pretend I don’t care. And I shouldn’t honestly, I mean, life is short. Too short to give a shit.”

Jens scoffs and kisses him, leaning in close. 

“Well for what it’s worth,” he says when he pulls back, “I think you’re amazing.”

Lucas stares at him, smiling slightly. 

“And funny,” he says, “And smart and creative. And clever and beautiful and talented.” 

“Stop…” Lucas says half-heartedly, looking away as he feels his face flush, and Jens lifts his hand, detaching it from Lucas’s and pushing a curl out of Lucas’s face before letting his palm press to his cheek.

“And,” he continues, smiling, “I would be perfectly happy to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“Are you proposing to me right now?” Lucas asks, putting on a scandalized expression. 

“Yeah,” Jens says. “Come here, get up.” He lifts his hand from Lucas’s face and sits up, pushing himself up and standing at the end of the bed, and Lucas turns to watch him but doesn’t get up. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, laughing softly. 

“Come here.” Jens beckons with a jerk of his head and Lucas scoffs lightly, shaking his head as he joins him. 

“I don’t have a ring, but…” 

Before he can move, Lucas lifts his hand, showing him the gold ring around his ring finger, and Jens lets out an “Oh!” excitedly, waiting as Lucas carefully slides it off, dropping it into Jens’s outstretched hand. 

Jens kneels in front of him, and Lucas watches in disbelief, shaking his head again, smiling. 

“Lucas van der Heijden, love of my life—” Lucas interrupts him with a snort, but he can’t take his eyes off him— “will you marry me?” 

Lucas watches him, his smile softening, his eyes burning. 

“Someday?” Jens adds. “When we can actually legally get married because we’re still just in high school right now?” “Yeah,” Lucas says, the word just a short gasp, nodding. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he repeats, laughing, nodding again. 

“Oh, thank God.” 

Lucas laughs again, louder, and Jens carefully slides the ring back into place. 

When it’s on, Lucas grabs Jens’s face, leaning down and kissing him and Jens slowly stands, placing his hands on Lucas’s hips to pull himself up. Lucas smiles against his mouth, opening his lips and feeling Jens’s do the same. 

Jens’s hands slip around and grasp his legs when Lucas bites down on his lower lip, tilting his head to kiss him deeper. He pulls, lifting Lucas up, and Lucas wraps his legs around his hips as Jens turns and kneels on the bed, lowering Lucas onto his back as Lucas’s fingers bury themselves in Jens’s already messy hair, pulling when Jens’s tongue slides into his mouth. Jens hums, and Lucas feels it vibrate into his mouth. 

Lucas places his hands on Jens’s face, holding him in place and kissing him again after pulling back for a gasp. Jens’s cheeks squish under his hands, and the kiss lingers, both of then inhaling deeply as Jens slides his hands under Lucas’s shirt, pressing to his skin. His hands are gentle, a little cold against Lucas’s waist, and Lucas shivers, kissing him again. 

Jens’s hands move up more, sliding over Lucas’s chest and making the sweatshirt ride up, but Lucas pushes at his shoulder, detaching their lips with a breathless huff, pushing Jens over so Lucas can climb onto his lap, leaning down and kissing him, sliding over his exposed collarbones and neck before he straightens up again, reaching down and pulling his sweatshirt over his head. 

Jens’s eyes scan over his bare chest, his hands sliding over his waist, up, up, up, until he pulls at his neck, pulling him down and leaning up until their open mouths crash together. Lucas presses his fingers against his neck again, just under the sharp line of his jaw, and smiles when he feels Jens’s quick pulse on his fingertips.

He pulls away, his smile growing when he hears Jens let out a quiet whine, leaning up and trying to catch Lucas’s lips again as his hands travel down his sides, resting on his thighs, slipping over the thick, folded fabric at his hips and squeezing. 

Lucas pauses, biting his lip and looking down at Jens’s face, his eyes shut, mouth hanging open, looking wistful. Just as his eyes begin to open, foggy and dazed, Lucas leans back down, pressing a short kiss to his mouth before kissing his cheek, his jaw, down his neck, pausing to bite and suck gently. Butterflies blossom in his stomach when Jens hums, open-mouthed and breathy, and Lucas smiles, kissing up his neck until he finds his earring. 

He kisses around it for a second, listening closely as Jens’s breath catches in his throat, feeling Jen’s hands tighten on him.

Lucas bites it, gently pulling before letting go and lifting his head, looking down at him, smiling at Jens’s heavy breathing. 

“Fuck,” Jens says, letting go of his thighs before tightening his grip again. “I love how you do that.”

“I know,” Lucas says, giggling as Jens’s mouth curves into a lazy, slow smile. Jens shakes his head, the smile growing, and leans up, kissing him. He lets go of his thighs again and wraps his arms around Lucas’s waist, the fabric of his hoodie soft against his bare skin, rising until he’s sitting up straight. Lucas runs his hands through his hair, pulling until Jens lets out a soft moan. 

---

Lucas is almost asleep, but not quite. 

He knows Jens isn’t. He can feel him touching him, running his fingertips over his cheeks and lips, pushing back curls that fall in his face, pulling the blanket up over him. He isn’t cold, having put on Jens’s hoodie when he’d begun to shiver, but he does appreciate the extra warmth, and if he were slightly more awake than he is, he would smile. 

Instead, he sighs, nuzzling his face into his own arm, which is bent under his head, and Jens’s finger brushes lightly over his cheek. 

I love you.

The words echo in his head.

They only said it once, in the alley, in their alley. They didn’t need to say it after that. (They didn’t need to say it in the alley either if Lucas is honest. Everything they do says it. Every touch, every glance, every whisper and gasp.) 

Lucas hears the front door open, the sound of the slight creak and quiet click of it shutting muffled by the walls and Lucas’s bedroom door. He doesn’t move but feels Jens’s hand still on his face before it lifts, leaving his cheek cold. The bed moves as Jens gets up, and Lucas bends his knees, curling into himself. A part of him wants to look at Jens, but his eyes don’t open. 

The bedroom door opens and the room chills slightly. Jens must leave the door open because his voice is clear in the silent flat. 

“Hey,” he says, sounding tentative. 

“Jens!” Zoë’s voice says, quiet and friendly. , and there’s a quiet thump like she’s dropped her backpack. “What are you doing here?” 

“Uhm, I’m here with Lucas.” He sounds hesitant, careful. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys were friends.” Lucas can hear her smile in her voice. 

“Actually, we’re uh… we’re dating.” 

A pause. 

“Oh!” 

Another pause. 

“I didn’t know…” “Yeah, I haven’t— I haven’t told anyone.”

“Oh. Not… Robbe? I mean…” Jens laughs quietly. 

“No, I— I didn’t tell him, but uhm…” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” It’s quiet for a second. “I was thinking about telling Jana and them tomorrow.” “If you want to. We can walk together.” 

“Yeah.” 

It’s quiet before they both laugh quietly. 

“I’m assuming you’re the one that makes Lucas all smiley,” Zoë says, and Jens giggles again. 

“Maybe…” 

It’s quiet again, and Lucas smiles to himself. 

“I’m really happy for you, Jens,” Zoë says. 

“Thank you.” 

There’s a quiet rustle like they’re hugging, then quiet shuffling on the floor and a slight creak, and a few seconds later, Zoë’s voice says, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” whispering just outside his open door. 

The bed moves again, shifts under Jens’s weight, and the blanket lifts off of Lucas before lowering again, shutting out the short rush of cold air over him. (He appreciated the blanket a little more now.) He can feel Jens’s eyes on him and Jens’s fingertip traces his cheek and lines of his lips. 

Jens takes a short, quiet breath before, 

“I think it’s getting easier.” 

His voice is hushed, just a breath. 

And Lucas smiles again, turning his head slightly and pressing a lazy kiss to his hand. Jens moves closer, tossing the blanket up so it doesn’t get caught between them, and Lucas straightens his legs, letting Jens’s entwine with them, and Jens’s arm wraps around Lucas’s waist. Lucas feels Jens’s hair brush his chin and neck, and Jens presses his face to Lucas’s chest. 

Lucas finally starts to drift off, his arm resting over Jens. 

“I love you,” Jens breathes, and Lucas almost doesn’t hear it. 

But he does. 

He moves his hand, feeling up Jens’s back and neck until he finds his head, and then tangles his fingers in his hair, tugging lightly once. 

I love you, too.

[light-yaers]

Sweet Escape: Chapter Seven

Poe Dameron x Reader

Warnings: banterous flirting that may or may not crack your teeth, slight injury, alcohol, and OSCAR FUCKIN ISAAC

A/N: Honestly this is a bit of a filler, but I was having too much fun writing Poe and her's interactions that I simply couldn't stop. I didn't want to have such a large chapter, so I stuck with this little filler just for funzies. They do be getting closer doe....

Find the Masterpost here

Word Count - 2.5k

Chapter Seven: Blush

The first feeling upon gaining consciousness was ouch. Even opening your eyes made your muscles throb. The slow realisation that you were in the base’s med-bay, lying in a bed, came to you in waves. First, you let out an internal groan. Then, you let out an actual groan, as you tried to hoist yourself up to a sitting position.

Your body objected, rushing your limbs with an aching sort of pain that felt like you’d been training for 48 straight hours, but nevertheless you managed to sit up. The bay was quiet and collected, like a library, and only a few beds were actually occupied.

You felt her before you even saw her—Leia strolled round the corner then, eyes fixing upon you instantly. She gave you immediate comfort, despite your internal bruising and the anxiety that had started to bubble within your gut when you thought about what you’d just done.

The cat was out of the hypothetical bag. Your Force abilities weren’t just known now; you’d given the base an entire fucking demonstration. Brilliant.

“That was quite a show,” Leia said as she approached your bedside. You gave her a tired and half-hearted smile. “Thank you,” she added, and the seriousness in her voice was apparent. You nodded at her in response, not yet knowing what you could even say.

There was a silence that radiated from her—an intelligent and knowing quiet that told you all you needed to know; if you hadn’t of done what you did, many would have died. The base would have been all but destroyed.

“Are you okay?” she asked then, trickling her kind words over you softly.

“I feel like I’ve been punched all over my body, repeatedly,” you let out. A small scoff burst from her lips.

“I understand. The Force takes a lot out of you,”

“You could say that again,” you replied, testing out the movement of your arms. You stretched them out slowly, and your elbows clicked noisily. “Is everyone okay?”

“Some are more shaken up than others, but everyone’s just fine. Thanks to you,” Leia said, raising her brows at you in understanding. “Dameron’s waiting outside,” she added, causing you to whip your gaze to her suddenly. You let out a groan in pain as you brought a hand to rest on your stiff neck.

“Dameron?” you winced. Leia only nodded.

“I’ve never seen him be so proactive. He carried you here after you collapsed,”

You looked to your lap, overcome by a feeling half-way between wanting to vomit, and wanting to smile. Sure, you’d just revealed your gift and saved the damn Resistance, but you’d fainted afterwards—embarrassment wasn’t something that you dealt with well, as much as you shouldn’t have cared.

“Great,” you whispered to yourself. Leia let out another comforting chuckle, before placing a reassuring and gentle hand on your shoulder. You looked at her then, not even trying to cover up the absolute fear and anxiety on your face. Leia could feel your Force; she would have known your true feelings even if you had the strength to try and hide it from your expression.

“Shall I tell him to come back later?” she asked, but you were already shaking your head.

“No, no. He can see me,” the confidence in your tone was more prominent than you’d expected it to be, but maybe it was because it was him. It wasn’t Heidi or Lynx, who, as much as you liked them, were still closed books. Poe, though—

You already shared a room. What was one more?

Leia left after giving you a small nod. You took the few seconds it took her to leave the med-bay to mentally prepare yourself. You needed a nap, or ten naps, and you needed to keep it together. You’d never used your Force this way, nor had you been expecting to. The entire situation was a lot to take in.

But everyone was fine. You were fine. And that’s all that mattered.

Poe bound in before you could even slide yourself up the bed to lean against the wall. The first thing you noted about him was his expression; it wasn’t what you’d been expecting. His eyes were wide, his brow dotted with sweat, his shoulders hunched and tense and rigid. Maker forbid, the pilot was scared.

He grabbed a chair on his way over and sat down on it immediately, tucking himself in next to your bed as you fumbled with sitting.

“I’m fine, Dameron,” you said, as an involuntary chuckle escaped your lips.

“You sure?” he questioned, just double-checking. You nodded at him firmly, and then he visibly relaxed. He let out a large sigh of relief, leaning back in his chair and wiping his forehead with the sleeve of his jacket. “Had us worried there,”

“Had you worried,” you replied, shooting him a smile. It felt good.

“Hey, you’re the one that blacked the fuck out,” he let out, and you bit on your tongue as a wave of anxiety rushed through your gut. Dameron’s demeanour changed then, as an understanding settled onto his face. “Why didn’t you tell me you could use the Force?”

You swallowed uncomfortably, knowing that he’d obviously have questions. “Don’t take it personally. I haven’t told anyone before,”

“Why?” he repeated, looking at you with those big pretty boy eyes and delving deep into your damn soul. You didn’t realise just how hard it would be, being put in this position, but it was your own doing. You’d chosen to act.

“It was always easier to keep it a secret, okay? I wasn’t planning to ever use it in front of any of you, but—,” the breath hitched in the back of your throat as the image of the hurtling TIE hit your mind.

“The TIE followed Green-Two through hyperspace. It got hit and entered the atmosphere,” Poe explained. “They didn’t have time to realise what was happening and destroy it from the sky,”

“Yeah,” you replied, feeling overexposed and vulnerable and all of the feelings that you hated.

Your brain pelted thoughts at you then, as you tried to keep it together. It told you that everyone would look at you differently, even though you were all fighting for the same thing. It told you that you’d only become the brunt of another joke, that everything you despised about cadet life like this would be all-encompassing.

It told you that pilots would look at you like you had an unfair advantage; like you didn’t work to become as skilled as you were. It told you that Poe would think the same.

You fiddled with your fingers as Poe’s stare stayed glue to the side of your face. You didn’t want him to see that you were almost trembling, so you sucked it up. You forced yourself to perk up, to put on a blunt face, to ignore how close to screaming you were.

“I understand if you choose to take me off Black squadron,” you said plainly. Poe’s expression changed quicker than you could blink.

“Why the hell would I take you off my squad?” he replied. His squad.

“Unfair advantage and all that shit. Like I cheated or something,” you replied. Poe shifted in his chair and clenched his jaw.

“Did you use the Force on rank day?” he asked plainly. You immediately furrowed your brows at him, slightly angry.

“Fuck no. I don’t use it when piloting. I never usually use it—,”

“Then why the fuck would you take you off my squad, Ten?” he repeated, sterner this time. You let his words sink through your skin as you focused on calming your raging emotions. You were torn between kicking a wall, throwing a chair or crying on the floor like a baby. All three options sounded appealing to you.

“Even if you did use the Force to fly, I wouldn’t change your rank,” he added. “You’re a fucking good pilot. That shit can’t be learned just because you possess the Force. Unfair advantage my ass, Ten,”

The blush crept into your cheeks before you had the chance to look away. Poe’s lips curled into a small smirk—his most punchable expression. You had to speak away the tension before it consumed you.

“Can you go back to teasing me or horrendously hitting on me, now? All this mushy stuff is insufferable. It’s not like I fucking died,” you let out, trying to subvert his gaze away from your blotched cheeks. This was the second time the pilot had made you blush today—you didn’t want it to become a fucking daily occurrence.

You froze when Poe’s fingers reached out and touched your face. Your stare was upon him in an instant, watching the gentle way his eyes looked from cheek to cheek.

“I call you a good pilot once and you start blushing, huh?” he said lowly, sensually.

He was doing it on fucking purpose.

The redness of your face immediately elevated, but you’d grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm within seconds of taking in his words. He yelped in pain as you twisted his arm over the bed, causing him to stand from the chair and lean forward as you jerked him painfully.

That’s when you grabbed him by the collar, pulling his face close to your own and shooting him with a stare that only communicated one thing—death.

“If you want to keep this pretty boy face then I suggest you tread carefully, Dameron,” you said unapologetically, ignoring the pain in your limbs. Poe started to relax more now that your grip wasn’t on his arm. Hell, maybe he fucking enjoyed being threatened this way, because the smirk didn’t wipe off of his face at all.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re hot when you’re angry?” he said it as clear as day with no hesitation.

You dropped him immediately, causing his upper body to whack onto the mattress and spring back into his chair. He fell back into the chair and almost twisted onto the floor, but he regained his balance as chuckles fell from his lips boyishly. “Hey, you asked for this,” he said, raising his arms defensively at the unamused look on your face.

You pinched the bridge of your nose quickly, clamping your eyes shut as the hammering heartbeat beneath your ribs all but consumed you. “You—you—,”

“I really rile you up, don’t I?” Poe cut you off, crossing his arms smugly as you started to calm down slightly. You composed yourself as best as you could, not removing your angry stare from his pretty boy face. He thrived off of this, that much was certain. But it was true—you had just asked for it.

You just hadn’t expected reacting this way when your guards weren’t all the way up. There was something about being here with Poe, alone, after knowing that he’d been the one to place you on this bed himself, that hit you harder than you’d ever fucking admit.

These weeks hadn’t exactly been easy; being in the Resistance was literally the hardest job in the galaxy; but Poe had been a constant that you were only now realising. He was there when you went to bed, he was there when you woke up. His smug face was there whenever the subject of sex arose, or whenever he was ready to push your buttons, but his anger and rage was there whenever someone crossed you, as well.

Maker, it was almost like he cared.

And you weren’t used to that. You weren’t used to that at all.

Apparently, all of your thoughts had just made themselves known through your face, as Poe let out a soft scoff, eating up your expression.

“I’ll take that as a yes. What can I say? There’s no one like me,” he spoke so easily, so happily and upbeat. You could tell he was just trying to tease you more, but he was right.

“There is no one like you,” you repeated his words, jaw clenched. It wasn’t a compliment, and he knew that.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Poe said, waving his hand in the air. He leaned forward then, perking a brow at you questioningly, overly confident to the point that you were almost jealous of how open he was. “Does this mean there’s a tiny, minuscule, microscopic part of you that actually likes me?”

You rolled your eyes immediately, as you began to twist your legs to dangle over the side of the mattress. You placed your feet on the floor gently, applying pressure to them to see if you could stand.

Poe stood quickly, pushing back the chair as he got out of your way. You stood, leaning against the bed for subtle support, but other than the aches and internal bruises in your muscles, you were just fine.

“Don’t hold your breath, Dameron,” you said, as you started to stroll towards the med-bay exit. Dameron was at your side, cautiously staying close while also somehow keeping his distance. He was hyper-vigilant to make sure you weren’t about to fall.

When you both reached the door, Poe gently took hold of your forearm. All prior playfulness was gone from his face. “Thank you, for stopping the TIE. A crash like that... it would have ruined us,” he said sincerely.

“We’re all fighting for the same thing,” you replied. “I’m glad I could be of service,”

He smiled at you genuinely, and you couldn’t stop the warm feeling in your gut from spreading all over your body. As much as he teased and toyed and you had this back and forth; somewhere between hatred and likeness and flirting and fighting; you were both fighting the same war, performing the same jobs, living the same life.

He nodded once, before the two of you made your way down the corridor slowly. He stayed at your pace, not complaining as you got used to your creaky and stiff limbs or winced at the way your body pulsed with every step.

“So, no chance of a beer tonight, then?” he spoke up, perking a brow at you. You perked one back at him as an unexpected smirk curled onto your lips.

“I exposed my Force abilities, moved a crashing TIE with my mind and blacked the fuck out today. I think I’ll take a fucking beer,” you said. Poe chuckled to himself and you couldn’t help it when you joined him.

Slowly, he brought his arm to wrap around your shoulders. He shoved you into his chest playfully, just once, before gently pushing you back and removing his grip from you. “That’s what I wanted to hear,”

You and Dameron headed for the dorm together, shoulders often swiping against each other. Tension still hovered in the air, but it was as if both of you were slowly getting used to it. Maybe that was something that should have been scary to you, but when your Force wrapped itself around Poe when you both entered your dorm, exposing the gentle and fond way he was thinking of you—

All you felt was peace.

@foxilayde @onceuponathreetwoone @ecuadorlady @voidmalfoy @20th-centu-fairy-girl @frickfrackpattywhacktictac @baueoud @300nightmare003 @lilitrth @salome-c @youre-a-wallflower-charlie

I know this chapter is a bit short, but when I tell you big these are coming then please believe me.... get ready. <3