#and start finding weird subcultures

[beneathsilverstars]

one of my irl besties i follow on twitter and i do NOT get her posting style. irl our senses of humor play so well together that we have been complimented by strangers at the store on how funny our idle conversations are, but i look at her posts and feel nothing but confusion. i can't figure out what it means OR what's funny about it. i don't know if i'm misreading the tone, or if her online circles just have a totally different posting style than mine, or what, but her posts are incomprehensible to me!

anyway i think this is what following loop on socmed would be like.

[fairestwriting]

hihi! i love ur writing soso much!! could i request jamil, idia and jade with an s/o who has a flashy fashion sense? specifically alternative, if thats alright :3

IT’S MORE THAN ALRIGHT this was fun to do… maybe just a tiny bit self indulgent . i miss my emo phase dearly

𐙚 Jade Leech

Jade likes interesting people in general, having an unusual fashion style is just one out of many possible ways to catch his attention. NRC does have a lot of students with some pretty out there looks, but… if you stare for long enough, it’s too easy to recognize all the patterns.

One of his favorite things is seeing the different ways to incorporate whatever your style of choice is into your school uniform. The dress code isn’t *that* strict, sure, but it still doesn’t enable any particularly flashy looks all that easily— He does genuinely admire the creativity and effort you put into details like accessories, or how you do your hair and makeup. He’ll want to hear about the work that goes into it, even though it’s not anything he plans on personally getting into.

Likes how funny you two look like next to each other, especially when you’re off campus and you get to really dress up the way you like. He’ll happily stand next to you in whatever obscure shop or thrift store you like to shop at, in his crisp dress shirt and classy loafers. He’ll carry all your bags and just absolutely bask in the amusement from the weird looks others throw your way.

If you’re not really into DIY yet, Jade might be the reason you end up getting into it. Sooner or later, he’ll come across it online when researching the things you like — Which of course he’s going to do, he needs ideas for the gifts he wants to buy you — and his mind immediately starts to wander to what sorts of things you could do with it. He’s your number one business casual supporter.

𐙚 Jamil Viper

Honestly a little on the fence about it at first — Not because he’s judging you for how you look or anything! — but just on an instinctual response level. You’re so clearly going against Jamil’s own personal rules of blending into the crowd. It just kind of makes him feel a little uneasy, even though he does feel it’s sort of stupid to feel like that. He’s just imagining how it must be to get all that unprompted, unpredictable attention…

But when he gets past that feeling, he honestly likes it. It makes him feel more comfortable to stand out around you, he’ll still hold back when he actually has to for whatever reason, but he’s less guarded than he would be with others. Besides, it’s fun to hear you talk about how you style things, and if you’re into a music-based subculture he’ll definitely want to check out the stuff you listen to.

He can relate to the experience of sometimes taking a significant amount of time to get ready, even though his reason and outcome are both vastly different from yours. And he does use magic for things like styling his hair now, but he still had to learn how to do it manually before that! Jamil finds that he does like to get ready with you when you’re going out together.

When doing that, he finds out you two have more to talk about in the topic of fashion than he imagined. He definitely knows a thing or two about makeup, and while he’s a bit clueless on alternative hair styles, he can definitely teach you some of the magic he uses for doing his own— He’s curious about what sorts of looks you’ll come up with, if you’re able to speed up your routine.

𐙚 Idia Shroud

Honestly. He’s definitely that kind of guy who at least once posted some kind of meme about wanting a goth girlfriend. And you might not be exactly goth, or not exactly a girl, or even neither of those things— But the sentiment still applies. It’s not necessarily about that specific of a type of person, but rather about having a partner who radiates that sort of... confidence maybe? Just that energy of being so comfortable with standing out.

You probably will have one conversation about his “makeup” that ends a little disappointingly for you. Idia doesn’t really wear any, his face just looks like that, he tells you. No product recommendations from him, sadly… The look in your eyes after you hear that makes him want to get into it, though. He doesn’t want to stand out like you do, but, well. He already stands out even without trying, doesn’t he?

He doesn’t believe he’s doing it when he’s asking you about the places you shop. Even if your personal style isn’t really the “darker and edgier” sort of alternative (Like most gyaru substyles for example) that he ends up getting interested in, you’ll probably still know a thing or two about how to get that look, right? Idia stresses over and over that he doesn’t want anything too flashy or elaborate, just maybe some accessories or new shoes…

Idia will be really nervous to go shopping with you, if you two decide on doing that. He’s always a little anxious to go out, but there’s an extra serving of it because he knows he’s going to be trying something new— But he’d definitely end up feeling pretty at home in whatever the Twisted Wonderland equivalent of Hot Topic is. Fully committing to any subculture is a bit too much for him, at least right now, but if you want to get matching bracelets or something, he’ll be happy to do it.

if you like my work you can support me by commissioning me or tipping me on ko-fi ── ᵎᵎ ✦

[rivetgoth]

I feel like part of what’s kinda wild to me about the weird “born in the wrong generation but in an alternative 80s punk goth queer way” crowd that idolizes this nonexistent 80s that was like a goth alt GNC queer safehaven is that without fail every time I actually talk to older goths or other older alt people or even just older queer or nonwhite people who were actually there in the 80s they’re IMMEDIATELY like “oh you were NOT missing out hahaha.” Like at best the coolest things they’ll talk about is getting to see some OG alt bands live in their prime or getting to see a cool movie in theatres, that IS genuinely cool, like major jealousy to anyone who got to actually witness Skinny Puppy or Ministry live in the 80s ykwim, but literally ALL of these people will then immediately start talking about how much people sucked, how much mainstream culture sucked, etc. It was literally Reagan-era AIDS crisis. Dystopian literature took off for a reason. Racism was a massive society-wide issue. War on drugs was in full swing. Even just the insanely racialized pushback against disco during that time is of note tbh. Massive brand commercialization was getting worse and worse. Whenever I talk to gay people from that era they express so much relief about how much the world has improved since then. I was talking to an older woman in her 50s who’s been in the goth scene since the 80s who was saying that back in the day if she went out dressed in her goth clothes she was called a faggot on the street. I remember her jokingly being like “well at least they were saying it to me and not actual gay people I guess haha…” There are aspects of 80s culture, especially 80s subculture and counterculture, that I really really enjoy, obviously, and certain sentiments surrounding big art trends of the time that I love, but it’s just kind of ridiculous to me that YEARS after collectively mercilessly mocking the trend of white girls saying they miss the 50s while ignoring the fact that Stonewall and the civil rights movement hadn’t happened yet, no-fault divorce didn’t exist, and lobotomies were still acceptable, I’m seeing posts nearly daily on this site that are like “well if I had been born in the 80s art would be good and music would be good and there’d be a queer alt community for me, but instead I was born in the tiktok poser generation 💔” like girl I’m sorry but you ARE the tiktok poser. Get offline and go FIND your community. Your issue is not that you were born in the wrong generation, you literally just do not know how to find modern underground subculture. Because it is underground.

[taki118]

Kirishima and Other Women

Among the criticism and complaints of Raise Wa Tanin Ga Ii aka Yakuza Fiance the most common is about how Kirishima "cheats" but what if I were to tell you this aspect of him actually serves an important point within the narrative? Because it does, in fact it serves a few.

First and foremost this is common in the Yakuza subculture. The series is a bit of a send off to Yakuza subculture and media with references that tend to go over your head unless you are into it (most go over mine). This is no different. While this isn't as narratively important it is important to know overall, the series embraces all things Yakuza the good and the bad (unlike some other Yakuza series but that not a rant for here) And like it's implied pretty much all the guys in the series to it to some degree yes even Shoma. I only have some knowledge of this myself so I won't get into it but I would recommend looking into cause it is interesting and makes sense for the series to incorporate on some level due to this and it would feel wrong to not mention it here.

Now lets go onto to something more meaty and kinda spoilery, so don't read if you dont want. (though I don't think it will ruin your enjoyment)

So these other women actually help to better understand Kirishima and his relationship/feelings towards Yoshino. One detail the anime leaves out is who these women are and they are women. All college age or older, and all some kind of working professional who has skills or connections Kirishima does not have. Remember Kirishima is not technically Yakuza so he does not have access to resources that actual members of the group have but because he is involved with that world still he has to find a way to make up for what he resources he lacks. The safest resource he has found over the years is women.

Just like how Yoshino unintentionally raises the ire of women, Kirishima does the same to men both intentionally and unintentionally. He has difficulty connecting with people which is a topic in and of itself, but because of this he has learnt how to gain connections on a superficial level so he only does so with those he can feel some control over or feels safer. AKA Women. Kirishima knows he's attractive, and he knows how easy it is to charm people but those he had an ongoing connection with are those who understand it's a game and want something back.

It's all quid prop quo, he does something for them and so they in turn do something for him. FYI I'm pretty sure what he's getting out of it isn't psychical pleasure, information, connections and a safe house for sure but actual enjoyment from sex? Not likely again the anime doesn't show it very well but many manga readers have noted how disconnected Kirishima looks during these moments. (Which I will fully get to later) It's an exchange when Yoshino calls him a gigolo she's not wrong, and there is a greater discussion to be had here about how early Kirishima started doing this and all the messy stuff that comes with it but because we don't have enough information on how that started I won't get into it. (and its a little off topic)

Overall all though this shows the audience that Kirishima has a kind of warped view of sex and intimacy, he views it as a resource he can use much like his fighting ability, to him it's the same thing. At least at the start.

When Tsubaki tells Kirishima that he is actually very easy to understand when she has Yoshino there to compare, I believe this was a hint the author was giving us. To understand Kirishima and how he really feels about Yoshino one just need to look at how he is with other women.

It is INCREDIBLY telling that the closest thing Kirishima has to an ex-girlfriend is Nao, because notice how that term is never used within the story by the pair as to what their relationship was. Nao calls Ozu an ex but not Kirishima, he's just a guy she had a fling with (with a weird age gap) even though she seems to care more about him than Ozu (another deep dive I'll probably do). Kirishima also never uses the term, he does note that he did like her to some degree more than likely a little more than the other women he has similar situationships with but it was still at its core transactional. They both wanted what the other could offer more than them as a person. (also just fucking for weeks isn't a relationship) Kirishima always keeps everyone at a distance, keeps everything close to the vest, makes sure the situation is advantageous to him so he can't get screwed over, every single one. Except Yoshino.

You see it constantly in the series as Kirishima WANTS to connect with Yoshino. He wants to better understand and connect with her in ways he has never bothered to before. In fact you can argue that Kirishima is actually more emotionally unintelligent than Yoshino as he has such difficulty in understanding what Yoshino wants from him. He's so use to being fake, to acting the way women around him want him to that it throws him through a loop that Yoshino doesn't want that. She forces him to be a person not a persona.

Because of that, like Tsubaki says, he is desperate to understand and connect with her unlike with the women who he is connected to in a superficial way. I know it weirdly upsets some viewers that these women "Know" Kirishima in a way Yoshino hasn't but they don't actually know him Yoshino does. People often conflate love and sex as being the same thing but its not, sometimes it overlaps (and like that should be the standard but its not). This series sort of forces you to confront that assumption, because the real moments of love are in the smaller things.

It's Kirishima helping Yoshino with her garden, its him trying to get her focus on him, its him talking to her about mundane things, its him seeking out the things she wants, its him telling her his birthday, and yes it's him sleeping with other women to keep her safe. A LOT of people don't realize this but it is right there in the text he only reconnected with Nao because it would make the situation in Osaka more advantageous for him to keep Yoshino safe. There is a very good likelihood that if the situation would 100% not get Yoshino involved that Kirishima would have just stayed out of it. (which like damn sucks for you Nao) In actuality Kirishima likely would have preferred just a normal trip to Osaka with Yoshino (even though the chaos does help him confirm his own feelings again) Kirishima wants so desperately to be connected to Yoshino in anyway he can but you don't see that in how he is with other women, and it's in seeing that you can see his authenticity.

For further reference to something I noted earlier look at how Kirishima looks in these scenes with women both during and after sex.

There's little to no actual emotion or care, he operates almost robotically like you see when he fights someone he doesn't really give a shit about. It is something he's doing cause he has to not cause he wants to. Now compare these reactions to how he reacts when he finds out he accidentally/unconsciously felt Yoshino up

It's this flurry of emotions you can't even fully quantify like he can't even fathom he really did that. Kind of a strange reaction to give to someone who has done way more for way longer, but it makes perfect sense if you remember love and sex are different. With these other women he didn't care, sex didn't mean anything they could have been anyone and in all honesty if he could get away with not doing it he'd probably prefer it. But he loves Yoshino so he actually cares, he is actually turned on, he actually feels something.

THAT is the point of the side women. Kirishima is very hard to understand his character is a mystery for a majority of the series (and to a degree still is) these women help to solve that mystery if you take the time to really look at what's happening and not get parasocially angry that he is "betraying" his love for Yoshino. In his mind he's not because love and sex are different, sex to him until Yoshino is just a tool, its one of the many things that Yoshino changes in him over the course of the series. Lets not forget that one of his side women actually makes him realize the situation with Yoshino isn't all that great (the scene is better in the manga) cause he doesn't have the emotional intelligence to realize that himself and is a catalyst for the two actually growing closer. Like I keep having to cut myself short cause I'll just go off on how wonderfully complicated and uncomplicated Kirishima is as a character, but this is an important aspect to understand and shouldn't just be written off as "He's a red flag".

These women give us insight into how Kirishima is Pre-Yoshino and shows us how far he's come Post-Yoshino, in a way that could not be done otherwise. So maybe it makes you uncomfy for a bit but it's not bad writing it serves a purpose that could not be done otherwise.

[girlishguitarist]

I always feel so weird when I see companies making mega expensive “punk” and “goth” clothes. I used to know this other person who kept on wanting to get into the goth scene, and another one of my friends literally was so willing to help her and get her started out with like music recs and clothing tips and she’d constantly tell us. “Oh, but dressing goth isn’t accessible for me. I don’t have the money.”

Which y’know makes sense, not everybody has the money to drop on getting goth clothes. Especially when your priorities are literally keeping a roof over your head and paying bills. We’re all from working class families here. But then we just kind of realised she was referring to the shit you’d find on like… Killstar or Dollskill and everything made a lot more sense. It’s been making me think. Ever since alternative subcultures such as goth, such as punk, even grunge tbf have made their way into mainstream fashion trends on the internet it’s made people believe that the only way you’re able to get clothes to “dress the part” is to fork out shite tonnes of money to these ridiculously overpriced online clothing stores. (You don’t even have to dress goth for example to be goth because it’s a music based subculture but that’s a whole other thing.)

The way trends are today with this whole, “aesthetic” thing along with the consumerist HELL that is fast fashion sparks a wave people just buying swathes of overpriced clothing to hop onto a clothing trend that is actually ripped from a subculture they don’t really understand? Like part of the whole core of these subcultures is that we are anti-consumerist and anti-capitalist. You are a fucking joke.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking negatively about people who truly want to get into these subcultures. There is nothing wrong with that at all, of course there isn’t. I’m talking about people who will see a fashion trend and just hop onto it and really have no idea what they’re doing. (This is part of the reason why I believe it’s unlikely we’ll ever have a new subculture as big as previous ones ever again because of just how everything is a trend now.)

Fashion that has been born from these subcultures has always been DIY. Making your own battle jackets, thrifting pieces of clothing and tweaking them to be how you want. Like… I don’t know about you babes but I don’t think goths in the 80’s were getting their clothes from fucking Hot Topic.

The fact that companies are now and have been making ridiculously priced pieces of clothing to capitalise off of: 1.) People who want to hop on trends because they don’t want to make the clothes they just want the style now, and 2.) People who want to genuinely get into subcultures such as punk and goth but may be misguided as to where to get clothing just makes me so fucking mad because it makes getting into the fashion within these subcultures seem inaccessible and consumerist-ridden when they’re absolutely not meant to be.

[sp0o0kylights]

I once had to pose in a ton of photos for a friend's AP photography final back in high school so may I present to you:

Steve Harrington, who gave in to Robin's begging that he act as her weird art model for her senior year portfolio (the same one her teacher is encouraging her to bat out of the ballpark and enter into contests.) 

She's doing a whole thing on fashion, subcultures and sexuality using photos and collaged poetry, a project that has Steve trying on different outfits and posing in different places. 

"This might help me land a scholarship, Dingus." She hisses while she's got him bent over her bathtub, spraying parts of his hair blue with wash-out dye.

Steve, soulmate and best friend extraordinaire, goes through it all with minimal (for him) bitching, even if the goth outfit feels absolutely ridiculous, and the 'geek' photoshoot downright laughable.

He starts to have fun when she has him mimic Nancy's straight laced, all A's good girl aura, and equally has a blast with the country look (he has no idea where Robin got a miniature horse but it conned him for every piece of food he had on him and then some.) 

The final piece is the one they're struggling with, the one Robin's now (fake) dying his hair partially blue for. 

A few hours later and he's dressed up once again in a studded leather jacket, the tightest jeans he owns ringed with belts, and combat boots.

 Robin had even talked him into letting her use eyelash glue to attach a few metal studs on his face--two acting as an eyebrow piercing and one on his nose. 

The looks he drew took a minute to get used too when all was said and done, Robin dragging him around Hawkins while she tried to find the 'perfect backdrop' but he's not gonna lie. 

He kinda enjoys being punk Steve.

That is, until Robin has him posing in an alleyway and Eddie Munson comes around the corner, jaw right about falling to the floor.

Even better? 

Eddie doesn't recognize him. 

Not at first, when he siddles up to Steve, nodding to the handkerchief in Steve's back pocket and then flicking the pink triangle pin on his jacket with a finger. 

Steve owes Jonathan a bottle of his father's best alcohol for giving him enough knowledge to get through the music razing Eddie subjects him too, and Steve's all too happy to play the part of punk asshole to Munson's music-snob metalhead.

It's not until Eddies playing with his hair and Robin gives in to letting him have a quick break from the shoot that he gives up the ghost, leaning in to whisper in Eddie's ear. 

"Gotta say, Munson," Steve all but purrs."I wasn't expecting you to fall for the Harrington Charm that fast."

"What?" Eddie asks, jerking his head back to look at him with wide eyes. 

Maybe it's the outfit giving him the extra ounce of courage, but Steve likes to think more that it gives him the freedom to lean forward and brush their lips together. 

Eddie doesn't return it, but that's alright. 

Steve's played this game enough to know that it was merely a hook for a real kiss. 

"Okay." Robin says, annoyed, camera at her side. "Steve, I'm happy that you're finally exploring that repressed as fuck homosexuality we keep arguing about, I really am, but I have to get this last photo!" 

He ignores her, instead nudging Eddie's shoulders.

"Care to pose with me?" Steve asks, grinning. He can tell Eddie still isn't sure if this is a joke, that he's seconds from running, and reaches out to tug on his black handkerchief. "Get Robin her photo, and then talk about this after, Mr. S&M."

Eddie flushes scarlet, but after some reassurance (and wheelding) from Robin, finally agrees. 

(Later, he agrees to a date, which Steve also credits the outfit for.

Even if Robin demands half the credit.) 

[anto-xyan]

Some of the ghouls with an Alternative MC

Leo Kurosagi

• He probably thinks you're old-fashioned

• But, because of your looks are so daring and original, he may use you to gain views....

• When he's on camera he'll say you look fantastic and amazing. Off camera? He'll probably call you a weirdo and make fun of you (even though he adores you and your outfits)

• Most of all, he likes how you don't care about other people's opinion, many times when you go on missions outside Darckwick, he notices the looks you get, and he knows you are aware of how people act around you, you are not stupid, but you have never given it a thought and he finds that amazing

• He usually asks you what subculture you belong to specifically, so to search a bit about it and get an idea to make a board on Pinterest to see similar things he could buy for you, mainly on Instagram (since you already explained to him that you don't support consumerism, which irritates him a bit, since that's what he consumes the most, but if you don't want to he'll respect it)

• He enjoys taking pictures of you, you always have such creative outfits that he needs to post them (the most beautiful ones he will keep for himself in his folder dedicated to you, he refuses to let others see something so personal to him) (he is a jealous bitch)

• If you ever receive negative comments on his videos, he will not only threaten them privately, but he will also publicly humiliate them on his account, and speaking abt that, he will do the same if someone dares to hurt you in person, only with the bonus that he will make them look bad in front of everyone present, no one touches his pretty girlfriend in his presence :)

Yuri Isami

• At first he doesn't know what to think, he thinks you look very disheveled and even ragged

• As he gets to know you more, he starts to get interested in you and your style

• “Specifically, why like that?”

• He is surprised to hear that the way you dress has more meaning than he thought, from the origin of sub culture, and everything it relates to, such as politics, feminism, and human rights

• He likes how passionate you are about the things you enjoy, he finds you adorable, and he sees himself reflected in you a little bit, which is why he always encourages you to join him in the lab and tell him more about whatever you wanna tell him

• He loves how decisive you are about your own things, how you do what you like without caring about others, he really wants to learn to be like you in that sense

• What he doesn't like very much is that whenever you listen to your music (with your headphones, obviously, since you both have very different tastes) you practically burst your ears with the volume on full blast, so, forget about loud music (at least while he is arround)

• If someone is mean to you or hurts you, he will immediately intervene "What do you think you're doing, you worm! Are you aware that you are insulting the girlfriend of THE Dr. Yuri Isami himself?! Think twice before you lay your disgusting hands on her!"

• When he feels insecure, one method you like to apply is to basically making him listen music with you, dedicating love songs to him so he listen that he means everything to you

• He loves you, your style, your mentality, everything. You became the most important person in his life <3

Lyca Colt

• When you met him for the first time, he was surprised how delighted you were with him, apparently you were not afraid of him nor did you judge him. He quickly became attached to you

• He doesn't really find what's weird about you, he sees that many people point you out in his time in class, he often hears not very positive things about you, But he doesn't understand, of course you're different, But there's nothing wrong with that, why are people so mean to you?

• The poor guy doesn't understand why people can't see the good in you, you are one of the few people who supported him from day one (not to say only you and Suba) that's why he is so fond of you

• Now every time he hears someone talk bad about you he starts snarling and clenching his fists, Needless to say he scares off all the bold idiots

• He doesn't know anything about fashion, But enjoys seeing you in original outfits every time

• "hey, is this new? I don't remember seeing it last time"

• Very attentive to your outfits, he always comments abt it

• Likes to draw you, thinks you are so pretty and you smell nice, every time you have lunch together he shows you what he has drawn of you this time

• He knows that you only wear clothes made by you or buy old and used clothes, so sometimes he asks Rui to teach him how to sew so he can make you gifts as nice as the ones you make for him

• In fact, giving you gifts became his hobby, anyone who saw his accessories would think that only someone who would be crazy enough would use them, but you LOVE them. They are made with so much love and it goes perfect with you! <3

• Get curious about your music, you know his ears are a little sensitive (after all, he is a werewolf) so you play him music that is softer and that you think he might like

• You both always attract attention when you go out together

• He's definitely head over heels in love with you, he just doesn't know it yet, he also doesn't know that you're almost in the same for him ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠��⁠˖⁠♡

______________________________________________________________

Well, I'm alternative, so this is totally self-indulgent lol

I don't think I have (that many) spelling errors, seriously I hope it can be read without inconvenience, I repeat! English is not my first language (I only speak Spanish)

I made only my three favorites, but if anyone is interested in having me write for another character (or more) feel free to ask me!

[mikehasfleas]

Life hack for people with short attention spans:

WATCH DUMB VIDEO ESSAYS!!

I am so goddamn serious. If you have a short attention span, the best thing I've found to help with that is video essays. Please bear with me on this post, or read the tldr:

My attention span was, and still is, totally fucked from my years on the internet and my adhd. I would spend hours on tiktok, instagram reels, yotube shorts, etc, and could barely sit through a TV show episode without opening pintrest to get even more mental stimulation.

But fast-forward to mid-fall last year, where I got really into video essays. Started out with 5 minute "storytime stickmen" videos, then 10 minute explanations of game lore bits, then 15 minute videos on punk subculture stuff, etc, and even though I was still using pintrest and reels relentlessly outside of that, after a little while, I realized that I had stopped pulling out my phone mid-video. The videos were actually grabbing and KEEPING my attention, even if I had little to no prior interest in the subject.

And by now, I've finished multiple 2.5 hour long videos on totally random stuff like the characterization of king candy, the making of a now lost-media tinkerbell movie, weird random stuff in fnaf security breach, etc. Now I actually SEEK OUT these longer videos, and even find myself getting involuntarily disappointed when a video essay I'm watching cuts out at 20 minutes! I actually enjoy sitting through long videos now!

And sure, I don't always watch them in one sitting, but if anything that's even better! I can come back to a video I was in the middle of and STILL keep my attention on it!

This is all to say, you can't just cold-turkey your way out of the instant-dopamine-rush of shortform content. It's just not gonna work. But if you do it gradually, you will likely find yourself getting actually INTERESTED in just the act of watching a longer video. And maybe by extension, you'll find yourself being more engaged in things like your classes because you're already GOOD at being engaged with lectures on random stuff, which will likely make you want to find MORE of that class content (the coursework) because you're used to the information being given for even longer periods of time than the classes are.

Now, this won't work for every type of content, and it obviously won't completely fix your attention span. Hell, I'm still addicted to plenty of online shortform content. But it is undeniably helpful to have even just one facet of your attention span be over an hour.

TLDR (since this IS a post directed at people with short attention spans); I used to have a detrimentally short-as-fuck attention span, but I basically exposure-therapy'd myself into enjoying long videos, and it did WONDERS for my attention span. I want to help you do the same.

So please, for the good of your brain,

WATCH DUMB VIDEO ESSAYS!!!

[vampbloodx]

DIY Basics

-Goth DIY Tutorials Number 1 (Part 1)- Hi there, I decided to start a little DIY series! I’m not the most professional at anything lol but I’ve been doing DIY and crafts my entire life and been part of the goth subculture for 10+ years. I’ve seen a lot of baby bats and people inexperienced in crafts online saying they don’t know how to DIY thrift store clothing to be goth so I’m here to help! I believe DIY is super important to the goth subculture and should be easy and accessible, and if I can stop anyone from buying big fast fashion brands I’ve done my job.

For the first post of this series I thought I’d link some sources for people new to DIY or looking for some easy projects to do yourself (projects will be in part 2)🖤This will help you find a starting point if the idea of DIY is overwhelming.

None of these links are mine! I will be posting my own tutorials as part of this series though:)

Some of the most basic starting points for goth DIY are using fishnet tights as a top (just cut a hole in the crotch and cut off the feet), putting safety pins in everything, adding holes to clothes, and adding pins and patches. I like to make my own patches, either by free handing or stenciling, which I linked a tutorial for in this post.

Helpful tools to have:

(I don’t agree with buying from aliexpress but their other sources are great!)

Sewing Tips for Beginners:

T-Shirt Design Methods:

This is just s few ways to weave t-shirts, there are a ton of different ways to do it and YouTube has some great tutorials, especially on Angela Benedict's channel

RIT Dye Tutorial:

Patches:

Sewing them:

Stenciling them:

[katherinakaina]

I also need to add a bit of context to your very short bit about Zizians, @strange-aeons .

TLDR: Ziz left the rationalist community 6 years ago and even at the time she wasn’t liked there, the fact she managed to exploit. Her actions directly contradict both hpmor and what CFAR was doing and teaching. Her other affiliations that are no less relevant include being an anarchist and a vegan. You are not immune to cults just because you are not into any particular weird internet subculture.

Cults form from niche subcultures, that’s true enough. But any subculture can form a cult because any culture, even the mainstream one, contains some ideas that can be twisted to an insane degree. And any ideology, even the most niche and scary one, can be approached casually and sceptically. What is actually needed to create a cult is not a special ideology but a cult leader and vulnerable people to follow them. That is the main uniting quality between all cults. Trying to figure out what’s wrong with a certain music band or a certain fantasy book forum is an exercise in motivated reasoning. You will always end up finding something that's wrong.

The rationalist community was trying to prevent the formation of a cult as best as they could. Partly that’s the reason why people like Ziz and others with bad and unpopular takes were often tolerated longer than necessary. To encourage criticism and prevent getting stuck in a positive feedback loop. Because it’s not a high control group! You cannot be simultaneously mad that people are allowed to talk about wacky ideas on forums and also that the group is supposedly very rigid and controlled. Apparently, they could use some control. Not like it would actually stop an aspiring cult leader from recruiting, they’d just go some other place.

Zizians were not mostly trans by accident (what are the chances?). Ziz was recruiting the most vulnerable people who related to her and were willing to trust her (also because there’s a lot of trans women in the community, like a lot). She used their very real and grounded experience of discrimination to convince them that her not being liked is not due to her takes being bad but because she’s trans.

And she had a lot of takes, some of them not being popular enough you actually complained about. You criticised LessWrong for being too pro-capitalist for your taste and then started talking about the Really Bad rationalists and THEY ARE LEFTISTS killing landlords and cops.

Now if we are talking about ideologies that devalue human life, how about some that require actual Class War (guess what people do in wars) or violent mass uprisings? Or some that require assassinations of certain select individuals? How come you hear that there are people on forums discussing the ethics of murdering those directly responsible for destroying our planet and you, as a leftist, do not immediately recognize yourself in it? Nothing discussed on LessWrong is more violent than a communist revolution or even the killing of Brian Thompson.

Why being into rationality at some point and reading hpmor is the only thing you told about Ziz? I think I know why. All the right wingers really leaned into the whole ‘trans vegan cult’ thing. That is not a good look for our side, is it? How amazing would it be to find a scapegoat. Who cares about those AI safety freaks anyway? They are all cishet men anyway! All cishet men who somehow have an offshoot of violent vegan queers, that certainly adds up.

Ziz being a radical vegan* (another niche subculture) corresponds to her actions way better than anything that's discussed on LessWrong or happened in hpmor. In fact, there’s an exact scene you probably skipped. Harry is on a very important and dangerous mission with Quirrell and at some point he is told to hide while Quirrell duels a cop guard at magical Guantanamo Bay – a total pig and an absolute scum who Ziz would kill without a second thought. Harry does share her sentiment, he fucking hates Azkaban. But when Quirrell tries to kill the evil torture cop Harry instinctively protects him jeopardizing the entire mission. And it’s not a random scene. It starts the entire disillusionment spiral where Harry realizes his beloved groomer professor might be a bad guy. Murder of a bystander whose only crime is being a product of his society is not something Harry can tolerate. He does end up decapitating a bunch of actual death eaters in the very end (the bit you probably did read) to save his own life and defeat Voldemort and even then he regrets it and apologizes for it (despite it being the right thing to do and not even comparable to a random cop). There’s an entire scene where Harry bonds with Draco over their mother’s deaths where he expresses that every death is a tragedy, even deaths of very bad people (like Voldemort).

Not to mention the entire immortalism theme (did you skip the entire third book?). One cannot read hpmor and walk away thinking human life is worthless or only super geniuses deserve to live. Timeless decision theory leading to murdering people is not in there**, nothing in the fic even suggests such a conclusion. More about how you got most things wrong about hpmor here.

Let’s face it, those were a bunch of sleep deprived vulnerable people high on all sorts of radical ideas, who were kicked out of every decent movement and that’s why they slipped into a cult.

Any subculture can become a cult. If you ever read a boring preachy fanfic or ever went to a physical meeting with internet weirdos. If you ever felt rejected by mainstream society and went looking for ‘like-minded people’, for a ‘found family’, for a ‘place where you belong’. You are not safe. Touching grass from time to time is not enough. You have to never leave the pastures to be highly immune to cults. And that ain’t you, my friend. That’s none of us.

Previous post about rationalist community.

* Ever heard ‘veganism is the moral baseline’ (sometimes minimum or imperative)? That’s not a slander, it’s a commonplace argument and an actual slogan.

** The only use of timeless decision theory in hpmor is about being able to reliably cooperate with other well meaning people, not about killing anyone.

[drdemonprince]

do you think it's worth it being nonbinary if you dont have like, body/physical dysphoria? Ive been identifying as nonbinary since i was 14 and when i was in high school it was great, i had my little liberal bubble queer friend group, and the rest of the school didnt pay much attention to me. My mom accepted me in the "i dont get it but whatever i dont want you to stop talking to me so i guess ill go along with it" sense, which while not perfect, its fine. But last september i started studying engineering and. Its really not going well. Like 85% of my classmates are straight guys and they range from thinking nonbinary people are cringe (and therefore they make fun of me when i walk by) to being extremely transphobic (im very scared of some of them.) And ive been trying to make friends with the girls in my class, and some of them are nice, but i can tell they also dont like that im nonbinary. One of them literally told me "i get that being a woman is hard, i dont like having periods or the ways guys look at me either, but you dont gain anything by denying yourself". So. I kind of think about that nearly every night now. Doubting whether im really nonbinary. And it really doesnt help knowing that basically every girl here either thinks that or just straight up thinks im gross and weird, ive literaly heard one of them go 'what is THAT doing in the womens' when i walked past her from the bathroom. I dont like going to class much.

Im thinking of detransisioning, i guess. I never started taking hormones (good luck getting those in eastern europe lol), so I could easily start looking like a cis girl again. These will be my coworkers and bosses, i cant live like this until i retire. i want to have fun uni experiences too. And ive been thinking so much lately about why im even doing this. Its just a few words that people call me by. Theres nonbinary people who use binary pronouns and pass as cis, i could be one of them and just not tell anyone that im actually nb. but on the other hand, it feels like im giving up on the trans community if i do this. Giving up on activism. Im sure im not the only one in this situation, if i detransition ill be letting them down completely. I dont want the next generation to be as fucked as this one. Also i came out very publicly to my entire class (i wanted to find other queer people to be friends with, i hoped that would do the trick maybe. I was so naive and stupid) and it will be so fucking humiliating to go back on that and im scared ill do all that and theyll keep treating me the same anyways because im already "tainted" by transness. So i would let so many people down for nothing.

The one other trans friend from my high school friend group solved this issue by paying more than ten fucking thousand euros per year to study in the netherlands btw. The exchange rate to our currency makes it somehow even worse than it sounds. Hes probably going to be able to start taking hormones before he gets his bachelors. I wish my mom was that rich :|

First of all, I want to say that I am so sorry anon that you are facing so much fucking exclusion and harassment. That kind of treatment pushes a lot of trans people into detransitioning, and it is brutal, and that this experience can happen to nonbinary people who are not on hormones but have otherwise transitioned is something that does not get acknowledged enough.

I can't tell you what you should do in your situation, because no outcome is great. But I think you might find some elements of this article from Kier Adrian Grey on ceasing their use of they/them pronouns (among the cis public!) interesting. They're an "ex anarchist" and a bit of an anti social justice dogma kinda person so I don't agree with them on many things, but I did like this point that they made:

"Hear me out: maybe the best way to understand they/them pronouns, within the context of a pluralistic democracy, is as a subcultural norm, a way for LGBT people to show respect for one another within our community. That sense of belonging I felt when I first found queer spaces was profound, and if using gender-neutral pronouns gives someone that gift, I am all for it. "But I do wonder if we are setting people up for hardship when we tell them that they should hope for, expect, or insist on they/them pronouns being used by everyone they encounter, and that they will be emotionally injured every time this fails to happen. In my thirteen years, misgendering was rarely malicious, and yet it still fed into a wounded identity and a suspicious worldview."

I don't think that what Kier has written about their experience applies to even most nonbinary people, and if taken too prescriptively by the wrong people it could be an awful dysphoria cope that leads a person to some pretty dark places. But! For someone whose feelings about it all are like Kier's, and whose life experiences have given them similar perspective, I think there is something to it. It's true that thinking a great deal about how one is gendered by others is crazy making and sometimes isolating, and if that's the sole way in which one's transness interfaces with the world, it's not always to the person's net benefit.

Here's the full piece:

I will say that based on all you had to say, anon, it would be a lot better for you if you could get around a lot of queer and trans people! What you're struggling with is not being seen and appreciated for who you are, and all the cis people undermining you are driving you crazy and making you doubt yourself. I'd MUCH prefer if you could find more local queer community or relocate if necessary to feel more appreciated as you are.

BUT if you find yourself resonating with this author's points and it feels like only being out to other trans and queer people would be good for you, that is okay to do. That isn't "detransitioning," it's being choosy about whom you trust. And many of us navigate those decisions. I'm not out as trans to everyone I meet! Most people just think I'm a cis guy. The big difference between you and me is that I have medically transitioned (and if you want to, I recommend ordering some hormones on India Mart!!!). You have some choices here about how much information you give to other people, how much you trust people who are incredibly ignorant, how much you will expose yourself to harm by making requests for treatment that might not happen, and how to build the community you need to survive this awful transphobic reality.

[altzfanfic]

Chase Davenport x Alt! Reader HeadCanon

a/n: im so sorry for how long its taken but college has been kicking my ass lately :(  i don't really have a full story idea right now but i didn't want to keep procrastinating on this so im writing headcanons as soon as i have time i will write a full fic :P 

To a lot of people, it would seem weird that you guys are together since he is so bookworm and you are so alt

Chase is secretly into alt stuff like music and the history of the subculture. 

That's most likely how you met and bonded for the first time

You probably had a band shirt on and he probably tried to mansplain the meaning of the band name or something.

And at first, you might have been a little annoyed that he was doing that but you might have found it endearing.  

He thought you were so cool tho.

I don't think he’d ever be brave enough to fully dress in alt fashion, but after he meets you he def started wearing more black and some band t-shirts and stuff maybe some combat boots.

He would get into horror movies/books and whatnot.

He wouldn't get a piercing bc he's scared of the needle and infection, but he admires you for having them.

He probably wouldn't wear much jewelry, maybe some rings

He would love to hear you talk about your interests and opinions

He'd also be very defensive tho when it comes to people talking about you

Usually, he's very level but if he hears someone call you weird he's ready to stand up for you almost enough for Spike to come out 

I think he would try really hard to plan dates that fit you like watching horror movies, and shopping, but he would have a hard time going to shows bc of his bionic super hearing but he would find a solution fs

At first, he would be scared of pda but after someone makes a comment about you he would walk as close to you as possible with pride

He would prolly not wear makeup often or anything but if you ask he’ll let you do eyeliner and black nail polish 

[ceilidhtransing]

I feel like so much shitty discourse could be avoided if people more consciously bore in mind the fact that Mainstream Society and The Queer Community are, you know, meaningfully different spaces that often have different social phenomena and different issues.

Random example, there'll be a discussion about femininity often being prized over masculinity, especially transmasculinity, in some queer spaces. And there'll be a bunch of transmasculine people talking about being made to feel unwelcome once they came out, feeling pressured to identify as nonbinary rather than as a binary man as that receive less hostility, being increasingly isolated and othered once they started T, feeling pressured to act more feminine and GNC, being told that their presence as a man makes others in the space uncomfortable, etc.

And then inevitably someone will respond with something like “OP what fucking planet are you on. You're fucking insane if you think femininity is prized over masculinity in society. And the idea that nonbinary people have privilege over binary trans people - what is this fucking enbyphobic bullshit? God, some people are so stuck in an echo chamber of terminally online tumblr queers with their invented problems that they've forgotten what it's like in the real world.”

But was the discussion about wider mainstream society? Or was it very particularly about the queer community and issues that these people have faced specifically within that community?

The queer community is a subculture (arguably many subcultures but let's try to keep it simple), and it's totally, utterly standard for subcultures to - even deliberately, as an act of pushback - value different things from the mainstream culture. Aesthetics thought of as “weird” or “[insert slur here]” by the mainstream can be highly prized in the queer community. Identities that are all thought of as equally “fucked-up” and “cringe” by the mainstream can find themselves organised into some weird hierarchy of validity and oppressed-ness within the community. Politics which are considered extremely fringe and radical by the mainstream can be considered the default norm, even a necessity, in the queer community. Gender expressions that are seen as the most basic “normal” thing ever in the mainstream can be devalued by the queer community for “not looking queer enough” or “being straight-passing”. And none of this is a contradiction because this is pretty much how subcultures operate! They assert different values and cultural norms from the culture they exist within and that's partly what makes them subcultures.

So if someone's pointing out “I face this issue specifically when I'm interacting with queer spaces”, it doesn't do the conversation any good to assume that they're talking about mainstream society and attack them for “being deluded about how the real world works” or “inventing fake problems to sound more oppressed” or something. (And the inverse - someone pointing out “I face this issue when I'm interacting with the mainstream” and someone else responding with “I don't know what you're talking about; I never face that issue at all [in my exclusively queer friend group and support network]” - is far rarer, but it does still happen, and it's just as unhealthy for the discussion. Probably the most common example of this I can think of is when cis gay and lesbian people discuss homophobia they've faced, for instance to do with their gender expression, and someone goes “but that doesn't happen, because actually cis gays are a privileged group and I've never seen anyone attack their presentations” - yes, because the frame of reference you're using is the queer community, where being gay is pretty much the expected default, and you're forgetting that in mainstream society, even cisgender gays and lesbians are by no means “a privileged group” that experiences no oppression ever.)

People need to be able to discuss issues in the specific social contexts they're talking about without it being basically guaranteed that someone will misinterpret them and start jumping down their throat in anger at something that wasn't even said or implied. It is so bad for the community when people seemingly can't fathom that the dynamics at play might be different within queer spaces versus out in mainstream society and it leads to so much pointless toxicity and aggressive misunderstanding.

[utilitycaster]

Hot take: with the way the campaign is going, Ashton is getting dangerously close to turning into someone who has a "don't tread on me" flag. Fully "the reason I am upset by people getting stepped on by the boots of those in power is because the 'little guy' (me) doesn't have the opportunity to be the boot". Which makes all of the people at the beginning of the campaign acting like Ashton was a 'true leftist' punk instead of a bitter and angry person with no direction in life and next to no principles hilarious in retrospect. People love to forget that sometimes the ones rebelling against those in power have a busted view of what power is, does, and who is currently wielding it.

Hi anon!

So I'm broadly in agreement. I don't think this is a terribly hot take not because it's wrong but because I've just reblogged like 5 pretty popular posts that are all saying "Ashton's teetering on the edge of full manifest destiny/blood and soil/humans are the virus ideologies" which all go rather further than just a shitty libertarian flag*.

I have a post in queue somewhere to this effect but there's a weird very Tumblr/Twitter/otherwise terminally online belief that anyone who's experienced systemic oppression is automatically going to have Good Politics from it when that's simply not true. Plenty of people look for someone else to blame, and they blame another oppressed group they don't happen to belong to, or something utterly unrelated. Like, I think a lot of punks are genuinely trying to live in a world that is unkind to them, but a lot of punks do so by taking a fuckload of drugs and kicking the shit out of someone who looks weird. I made this post YEARS ago, literally, very early in the campaign; it is ahistoric to act like punk automatically equals leftist when it started as an aesthetic to sell clothes at a London boutique and when homophobic, misogynistic, and racist subcultures were rampant within it. We remember and uplift the punks who weren't like that, but something that really gets me is like. I know some metalheads and a lot of them are REALLY open about having to learn to spot the metalheads who are here to talk about Norse Superiority vs. the people who just want to scream about Satan for fun. For some reason a lot of people in the CR fandom acted like punks were exempted from this and that's a fast track to being very easily swayed into these ideologies; it's literally "you are not immune to propaganda, but I am" and like. bud. you're not.

It feels related to the weird way people treat Liliana. I am still, to be honest, low-key furious that several white southerners are like nooooooo you should be sympathetic to people in cults, because it could happen to anyone and it's like. well. you see. I am Jewish. I am not hanging around anyone who is white and southern and in a cult long enough to find out if they want to kill me, and it's appalling and indicative of how sheltered and ignorant you are of other perspectives that you would have the gall to demand this. They're entitled people who demand that people most at risk from violence do the work of dismantling it - not them, oh certainly no, they're too busy playing Elden Ring or some shit. There's a certain kind of Tumblr user that claims to be leftist and yet extends a thousand times more sympathy and understanding to their neighbor down the road who openly flies a Confederate flag and definitely voted to deny them medical care, than to people who have a cringe "childless cat lady" bumper sticker and voted to reinstate said care and will bad-faith cherrypick why this is actually very radical of them (if not outright lie) and they have rather transparently claimed Ashton as one of their own.

As I said during Downfall, some of it is people who love the taste of the boot as long as they think it might end up on their foot one day but some of it is just people who are so nihilist they'll let the world burn and ignore that perhaps other people are also living there. Like, a big reason why, even when Dorian was angry at the gods, I never felt the same way about him as I did for Ashton is because Dorian was angry about what happened to Opal and Cyrus. Dorian wanted an option that would hurt the fewest people, and his main experience was seeing a god overtake Opal and hurt people! And as he saw new perspectives and heard from others he incorporated that, and I don't agree with everything he says but he really has been thinking about people other than himself, and increasingly I can't say the same for Ashton. The moment at the end, where they say that apologizing would be for them, was promising; but it also feels like Ashton learned this lesson with the shard and completely forgot it and was like "THE GODS WILL KILL US SPECIFICALLY" and the fact that the gods they literally met in person didn't do so seems to have failed to sink in. This is a character obsessed with their own highly specific experiences, insistent that there is someone ALIVE to blame and not their shitty dead parents, and defined by refusing to hear anything that will conflict with what they already believe, and that's REALLY fucking bad for a hero and a fast track to right-wing reactionary politics.

*ngl the Don't Tread on Me flag is darkly hilarious to me because it's available as a vanity Virginia license plate, which means there's a LOT of people who are like "I shall express my distaste for the government by paying the government 25 unnecessary dollars per year solely to have a customized license plate." Deeply indicative, frankly, of this mentality. I mean I don't hang around anyone who has one because they're probably fucking shitty, but I am going to laugh about it in private.

[iminyourwallsbabe]

Gyaru hot takes

First and foremost, having the mindset isn't enough. Gyaru is very much a makeup and fashion based subculture. BUT, that does not mean you need to look that way 24/7 nor does it mean that someone who does these things but doesn't have the mindset is any more gyaru than you. If we're being fr, I have more respect for people who put more emphasis on the mindset than the people who don't actually respect what it means despite wearing the style. And some of you truly do not exhibit that mindset, which takes me into my next take.

Racism and other weird shit like that is way too normalized. The whole point, the whole reason gyaru was created was not only to put a middle finger up to beauty standards and allow young women in Japan to exist freely and be themselves outside of the constraints of what society expected from them. What to emphasize is those constraints because a lot of that seems to go over your heads. Those constraints dictate what women and men can and should be, those constraints create a narrow idea of what it means to be Japanese, those constraints dictate who is valuable in society and who shouldn't be given the time of day. When you shit on black gals, Chinese gals, or gals with disabilities, you help perpetuate the very things that people were fighting against in the first place. I also want to point out how much cultural appropriation y'all let slide because it "goes against the beauty standards". You miss the implications of that entirely. Like if I see a gal (who's not black) with box braids or fulani braids and I'm like "hey wtf" and you tell me "omgggg RELAX the whole point is to go against the beauty standards", you're not helping your point. You just indirectly called several countries traditions ugly and the fact that they're being worn to stand out and make people mad moreso than out of respect for what they mean to people is absolutely insane to think is okay. Again, that kind of activity helps fuel the very systems that people broke away from in the first place. Y'all make it very hostile for gals outside of Japan (and gals that aren't white). Which is not "wild, fun and sexy".

On the subject of hair, I also don't think you really have to do anything special with your hair to be gyaru. Like not even remotely. Idk where this idea came from but no. If you look back at early gals and the people who inspired them, you'll notice that the hair isn't super crazy. Most of the time they were just blonde, and not even that is really a requirement. Like for some subcultures I'd understand a little bit, but even then, it doesn't feel necessary, especially if you have all the other elements. Shit, you don't even NEED hair. Be bald and be bold and you'll still be 10 times more gyaru than the mfs telling you you need to do things one specific way.

And to wrap it up, I also think the community over complicates the fashion aspect of gyaru and it turns a lot of newcomers off. Again, look at what gyaru started off as. These were not super special outfits that you couldn't find anywhere else, they were tank tops and jean skirts. When we get into subcultures or more extreme levels of gyaru, it might get a little more specific but over all? If you really wanted to, you could probably find a whole gyaru outfit at your local bargainland, or it's already in your closet. Like life gets so much easier (and less expensive) when you realize that a lot of gyaru fashion isn't actually gyaru specific. The thing that makes it gyaru is the makeup and the motifs. Usually in combination. Like if I see someone wearing a ton of hibiscus flower patterned clothes or lots of cheetah print, I can make a few guesses as to what kind of subculture they're in, and one of those guesses would be gyaru until I see their face or talk to them. So no, you don't need that dia belt that bad. It will not make you less gyaru not to have it. And for the love of god y'all, please learn some diy skills

[noisytenant]

i think it would be too simplistic to say that kinnie shit is the main reason the system zeitgeist is really detached from the literature (especially when some literature IS frequently cited), but i do think that fictional introjects--a documented and completely understandable phenomenon--trying to wed themselves to their sources of inspiration rather than articulating themselves in the real world is a canary in the coalmine for a lot of the other maladaptive patterns we end up seeing.

you could make the case that dissociation is an extreme form of "escape from the self"; to be one person is so intolerable that you escape to another. And then another, and another. so escapism is arguably the driving mode of dissociation.

but if you have these parts of yourself that long to escape BACK to, essentially, a "pre-birth" state, who can't bear to accept the circumstances they're in now, then you're probably more broadly still in an escapist paradigm. and so of course you're gonna be splitting new guys weekly, of course none of you communicate, of course you have these strong and extreme wedges between you and the others and you have these clearly defined boundaries while also, in practice, existing in such a limited context that you haven't really self-actualized.

escapism is an understandable reaction to trauma and severe chronic stress, so rather than dismissing this entire kinnie-system phenomenon as doomed, i think we can build bridges toward an understanding of Living As A System that are more aligned with established and successful therapeutic interventions.

the kinnie-system combo melds two subcultures that magnify maladaptive escapism tenfold. this adds new terminology and points of focus that aren't necessarily relevant or accurate (distinct and discrete identities and roles, "fictive" and "factive" language, source material focus, generally Online behavior and interests), and obscures other experiences (lack of clear identity, blending and blurring, dissociation as a coping mechanism for the stresses of tangible daily life, introjection as a start&not an end) and strategies (expanding the window of tolerance, grounding in the present, unburdening of extreme roles, intra-system cooperation, etc.)

i think as you work toward a grounded view of yourself and accept your reality, you can start to hold yourself more proudly, and own your experiences--even the bizarre one of essentially being a cartoon character ejected from the screen to do dishes.

dissociation is mushy, highly individual, and weird, but also a really practical solution to an impossibly difficult problem. i'd like it if we could change the common vocabulary and perspective to better reflect the diverse and unique experiences of finding a way to live When Guys.

EDIT 04/06/2025: i turned off reblogs as this is an old post that suddenly blew up! i don't disagree with myself here per se, but i would have rather offered more specific alternatives than just problematized what i saw.

i don't really feel the need to make a new post on this topic but i hope it provides you some food for thought on your journey 🌱