#and sometimes they just don't change their labels!

[ohwell-itsme]

#what if we got bored and dissected human sexuality together

what frustrated me for a good long while before I just... shelved it I guess, because it's not going to get me anywhere is that

once you get past the point of like, trans people are normal and it's transphobia when you exclude them from your attraction on that basis alone, and it's normal and doesn't change your sexuality to love them with whatever genitalia they have the cliff of what you can define as gender based attraction soon ends when you reach "non-binary people exist"

there is nothing, NOTHING, in my appearance that indicates my gender identity, it's simply not one of those that look like anything, but we form our first impressions of people before they speak (supposedly most people just need a one good look, idk to me people are shifty strangers until I can have somewhat of a grasp on their personality and worldview, but turns out that's abnormal and highly paranoid, and like, I'm aroace), somehow the ever popular smash or pass quizzes are easy enough to vote on with just one picture of the person, the eyes just don't careeeee about the nuance of gender,

and preferences for either the feminine or masculine aesthetic no matter how pronounced mean jackshit too, because those are super fluid and constantly reshaped by culture and there's probably more people with gender non-conforming presentations than there is with green eyes, it's literally nonsense, it's case by case in reality and labels sometimes just get in the way, because again it's distressing for non-binary people to parse through who might even be attracted to me? Am I going to be alright getting with a person of that orientation, or would it feel dysphoric, bringing awareness to this side of me, feeling perceived as leaning more to this side? Are my options only mspecs, only other enbies who'll understand? Like the profiling, narrowing the scope of who you might have chances with, based on labels becomes USELESS once you're non-binary, they're not telling you shit!

All of it is stupid, like, fuck your binary, it doesn't even exist, no such a thing in biology. Fuck all the who can say what discourse and the biggest victim contests and the community tearing fucks who don't want to see how similar all of our experiences with misogyny are and conflate our labels with the experiences they think we do have, fuck all the erasure and just all of this bullshit

I'm going to make a huge beam and turn everyone consciously non-binary [the binary is already fake] and then I'll die and when I see god I'm gonna spit in his face, fuck off with all that.

so strange to me that some people aren't bisexual

[identitty-dickruption]

being antipsych while also being a recovering addict makes me want to explode sometimes. diagnostic categories are social, cultural, and political. each diagnostic category carries its own political meanings based on a variety of historical and cultural factors. someone is not "objectively an addict" in the same way the ocean is not "objectively blue"

but GOD people need to stop mistaking this for "anything can be an addiction". the fact that it is a political construction does not mean it isn't 'real'. constructs are real, it's just that they're defined by humans. the political meanings of the word "addict" are real and they matter. when you choose to describe something as an addiction, you are making choices about how you want that thing to be framed. the act of description and categorisation is not a neutral act. it is a political one

I don't cling to the addiction framework because I believe it to be true. I use the addiction framework for my own addictions because I believe it to be meaningful in the present social and political context. as such, I get frustrated by discourse about 'sugar addiction' and 'porn addiction' and 'gaming addiction' because they miss the underlying narratives of 'addiction' itself. they fail to notice the fact that 'addiction' (in these contexts) has become shorthand for 'seeking pleasure is inherently selfish and destructive'

but again. none of this means that addiction isn't real or that it is never a meaningful label. I am an addict with a diagnosed substance use disorder. the way I have used substances meaningfully changed my material conditions and the way I relate to the world and the way the world relates to me. simply not the same as your so-called 'sugar addictions'

[eclaire-went-bam]

"covert" narcissist this "overt" narcissist that, are y'all actually that consistent?

[dandyshucks]

here's a guzbug i doodled to fend off a random anxiety attack tonight djdksl, featuring my creachersona :]

(i referenced a pose base for this one!)

[smartzelda]

I also want to add that the importance of the type of posts that give examples of queerness being fluid and people's gender/sexuality changing over time is so people understand that this is just as normal as people who don't have a gender/sexuality that is fluid or people who have a rigid relationship with their gender/sexuality labels. It's so that way people who do or could end up having a fluid relationship with gender/sexuality don't feel as if they're broken or their previous labels were just straight up wrong (and that being a bad thing). And it's also so that people who don't have fluid queerness understand that a lot of real people change over time or have experiences that don't fit the rigid ideas of queer labels (and that they will still use labels that feel comfortable or fitting to them)

A theoretical happenstance in which someone's parent tells them that they're not actually gay because that could change/they could figure out they do like the opposite gender one day is NOT the fault of a theoretical person being comfortable keeping lesbian as their sexuality label while dating a partner who turns out/transitions to be a trans masc person.

ive seen this type of post recently thats like "you can't say sexuality is fluid because what if people harass gay people and try to get them to change" or "you can't be a bi lesbian because what if a man uses that to harass other lesbians" and it's like. well first of all sexuality is fluid, maybe not for you specifically, but for a lot of people it is or can be. and secondly if someone's using another queer person's label to harass you that is not the other queer person's fault it's the fault of the person harassing you. like YOUR sexuality does not have to be fluid YOU do not have to identify as a bi lesbian but other people are going to have experiences that are different from yours. and if someone harasses you bc of someone else's identity, again, that is them finding an excuse to be a creep. also we went over this in like 2018 with nonbinary exclusionism i swear i've typed this exact post but with "nonbinary people aren't the reason people are transphobic towards binary trans people" we have already done this discourse pack it up go home

[not-gray-politics]

Hey btw I see a lot of well-meaning people use "you can't change your gender" interchangeably with "you can't control your gender" and I wanna say that while you may not mean to, by saying that you are in fact erasing the existence of genderfluid people and it kinda sucks

[finalgirlgretchen]

can i be honest this shit's so bad it's got me posting in r/bpd to feel for five seconds like other people GET it and i don't have to explain myself

[thatdude-noah]

being aroace and being in a relationship is crazy sometimes because. every now and then i'm hit with the realization that i am not normal. whenever i avoid certain romantic relationship things, i remember that even though we are more than friends, we aren't ever going to be in a fully romantic relationship. and that's my fault.

[lovinglin]

Lynelle gives me major gender euphoria

[sarumans]

my gf likes to watch tiktoks as i sit silently on tumblr next to her and i just. the amount of tiktoks spewing bullshit pop psychology and pathologizing everything is so infuriating. it makes me want to punch holes in the wall.

[etlu-yume]

I know it says "in the tags" but.

I was about to say 'hands down it was Gordon's Lemon Gin" but then something reminded me about Bundaberg Spiced Rum.

The Lemon Gin was an utter disappointment. I think I still made it through the bottle (with some help from similarly disappointed helpers). You know how Lemon has like. Two kinds of lemon flavour? Like that sweet lemon flavour you'd expect from pies or lemon and poppyseed muffins, vs that almost bitter and sour citrus you get from very few - but often enough to recognize - sources?

It was very definitely not sweet lemon. I would not pair that in any way, shape, or form with anything sweet.

(Which is a shame! The pink gin? lovely. The tangerine? Not bad! The lemon though I would run for the hills)

The Bundaberg Spiced Rum, however.

I never thought I'd find something that tasted like burning plastic.

They proved me wrong.

It was probably the most foul, worst thing I've tried. I think we even tried mixing it with coke, and that couldn't save it.

tell me in the tags either the worse drink you've ever had or what you do to alcohol to make it palatable

[081098]

bit of an epiphany that religion to other people is what i see as The Curious Ways Of The Universe

[creaturemoment]

Current status on The Gender Situation: Might have some fluidity up in there. Gender jello, dare I say.

[runawaymarbles]

One of the things that frustrates me about some of the Discourse is that obviously it's obnoxious to tell people they'll change their minds about things like having kids, or their identity label or what have you, and people shouldn't do it. But those posts are always full of testimonials of people who never changed their minds and using 'I was right all along' as a reason for why you shouldn't question people. Which is fair!

But also consider: people change their minds all the time. Some people don't want kids until they're 35 and then they want a dozen. Some people really DO 'meet the right person.' Sometimes something really IS just a phase, and that's fine!!! Yelling about how this never happens or acting like other peoples' experience invalidates our own is not perhaps the inclusive and supportive message we think it is.

Don't tell people they'll change their mind because it's obnoxious, don't tell people they'll change their mind because there's a good chance you're wrong, but also don't tell people they'll change their mind because it makes it harder for them to actually do that.

[inkskinned]

even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or are there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.

[5ummit]

New Mature Content Warning Overlay (And How to Get Rid of It)

More fun community label "features"! Unlike the new mandatory label for #NSFW, this one is a bigger deal to me because it affects my entire blog and it can't be avoided by just using a different tag.

Apparently on custom blog layouts, if you happen to post or reblog even a SINGLE post that's been flagged with the mature content community label, a full-page warning overlay will appear blurring out your entire blog that must be manually clicked through every single time the page is refreshed. At first I thought this was just a bug due to my older layout but I've come to realize it's not. It's a feature (as confirmed by this recent changes post) that affects all custom themes. The formatting will vary based on your own theme but here's what it looks like on my blog:

I don't know about you but I find this is stupid and annoying. If it could be dismissed once and never seen again that might be one thing, but that's not the case. The vast majority of my blog is not "mature" enough to warrant such an aggressive and invasive warning. I also think pop-ups are obnoxious in general and I'll be damned if tumblr's going to force me to have one on MY blog.

After some desperate googling for a known workaround and being unable to find even a single mention of it, I decided to take on the challenge myself. I'm not a theme coder, so apologies if there's a better way to do this, but luckily it only took me like 10 minutes to figure out a simple fix, which I'm now sharing with anyone else who may want it:

.community-label-cover__wrapper {display: none}

Just copypaste that somewhere in your CSS and goodbye pop-up!

If you're not sure how to access your theme code, check out this help article. You can also add the code via the Advanced Options menu, which is actually even better (if you can get it to work, it depends on how your theme was coded), because it will then automatically be reapplied to a lot of themes without having to remember to manually add it every time if you change your theme in the future.

Obviously this will only remove it from your own blog for anyone who may visit it. If you never want to see this warning again on other people's blogs you can also add this custom filter to your ad block:

tumblr.com##.community-label-cover__wrapper

Unfortunately I do not have an easy tutorial on hand for this one as the method will depend on your specific ad block app or extension.

Some additional notes:

After adding the theme code and saving the changes, give it a minute to update as it sometimes takes a little while for the page to refresh.

The warning overlay only seems to appear if a "mature" post is on the FIRST page of your blog, which is still annoying and makes the whole thing even more pointless and stupid because what if someone visits any other page of your blog, and oh no, happens to see "mature" content they weren't warned about?!

The warning also appears on direct links to "mature" posts.

This hack has NOTHING to do with entire blogs that have been flagged as NSFW. It only works for non-flagged blogs with custom themes that happen to have individual "mature" posts.