#and for the record just in case you are already thinking this reading my reblog I will make my stance clear
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I also want to add that the importance of the type of posts that give examples of queerness being fluid and people's gender/sexuality changing over time is so people understand that this is just as normal as people who don't have a gender/sexuality that is fluid or people who have a rigid relationship with their gender/sexuality labels. It's so that way people who do or could end up having a fluid relationship with gender/sexuality don't feel as if they're broken or their previous labels were just straight up wrong (and that being a bad thing). And it's also so that people who don't have fluid queerness understand that a lot of real people change over time or have experiences that don't fit the rigid ideas of queer labels (and that they will still use labels that feel comfortable or fitting to them)
A theoretical happenstance in which someone's parent tells them that they're not actually gay because that could change/they could figure out they do like the opposite gender one day is NOT the fault of a theoretical person being comfortable keeping lesbian as their sexuality label while dating a partner who turns out/transitions to be a trans masc person.
ive seen this type of post recently thats like "you can't say sexuality is fluid because what if people harass gay people and try to get them to change" or "you can't be a bi lesbian because what if a man uses that to harass other lesbians" and it's like. well first of all sexuality is fluid, maybe not for you specifically, but for a lot of people it is or can be. and secondly if someone's using another queer person's label to harass you that is not the other queer person's fault it's the fault of the person harassing you. like YOUR sexuality does not have to be fluid YOU do not have to identify as a bi lesbian but other people are going to have experiences that are different from yours. and if someone harasses you bc of someone else's identity, again, that is them finding an excuse to be a creep. also we went over this in like 2018 with nonbinary exclusionism i swear i've typed this exact post but with "nonbinary people aren't the reason people are transphobic towards binary trans people" we have already done this discourse pack it up go home
#discourse#and for the record just in case you are already thinking this reading my reblog I will make my stance clear#While some people's experience can turn out to fit a different queer label on paper (and some people DO change their labels over time of#their own accord this way)#It is not up to you to decide that they MUST use the labels you deem fit for them otherwise they're a “bad queer who is muddying our sacred#rigid labels'#sometimes someone is going to consider themselves straight and then their partner turns out to be trans of the same gender of them#and then they come out as bi#and sometimes they just don't change their labels!#labels are supposed to be a tool#a way for people to put pride in who they are or to find terms that feel them#sometimes people will use queer because they don't want to pick a label to be summed up under#sometimes people choose not to change labels because they don't care to or they just don't want to or because they identify with those#labels even if they don't 100% fit the popular idea of them#And if you think people who don't use labels the way you think they should are queers that are making it hard for cishet people to take the#queer community seriously?#I have news for you about the mindset that performing being queer in a good and palatable way will make society accept you and the mindset#that those who do not do this are just as bad as the oppressor
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good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder
#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess
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🥚 eggvidenced Follow
honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
date posted: june 23, 2010
1,834,853 notes
⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though
🧊 just--ice Follow
okay now they're just making lawyers up
#also didn't mvk die or something?
28,932 notes
🔥 triedbyfire Follow
why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder
🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow
so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit
🔥 triedbyfire Follow
are you gonna address the copaganda thing or
1,092 notes
🌻 attorneybout Follow
he's so. 😳
📂 trialanderror Follow
why is he defending
📂 trialanderror Follow
OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???
24,374 notes
🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow
i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all
🥜 liberdeez Follow
op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.
🔐 wrightorwrong Follow
hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!
🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow
net 0 information post
#thanks again lawblr
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🍒 cherriescoola Follow
btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life
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🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow
December 28, 2016
YES!!!
702,947 notes
🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow
guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do
🔪 violencekilling Follow
you gotta let him rob you that's the law
302,948 notes
👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow
look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name
💼 courtofwaw Follow
bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late
62,193 notes
📋 lawandwhoreder Follow
guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited
#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore
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🐺 lawnewolf Follow
i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs
🌈 lawsbian Follow
the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)
🐺 lawnewolf Follow
YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.
12,293 notes
🔮 inhighspirits Follow
why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy
837,495 notes
💞 lawveyourself Follow
seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree
💞 lawveyourself Follow
what do you mean evidence fraud
503,893 notes
🎧 instrumentalillness Follow
fuck you *unguilties your love*
384,568 notes
🎀 copiicat Follow
perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me
#ace attorney#ace attorney spoilers#dashboard simulator#dash simulator#dashboard sim#dash sim#unreality#fake dashboard#fake dash#post simulator#long post#average day on lawblr i think#'op what is the timeframe for this' not applicable people reblog 10 year old posts on here all the time /lh#but sometime after turnabout serenade.#'isn't one of these urls a real blog' yeah she wanted to be included /lh
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That Friday Night
Modern!Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Influencer!fem!reader
read part one here
18+ MINORSDNI
cw: alcohol, drugs (weed and cocaine), clubbing, slight Dom!Eddie if you squint, possessive!Eddie, swearing, pet names, oral (fem!receiving), light choking, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, edging, creampie. (let me know if I missed anything)
wc: 4.3k (I'm so sorry)
a/n: First of all, I want to thank every single person who liked, reblogged or made comments about part one. I was shitting myself posting it because (like I said) this is not an original thought. I'd read a few and it gave me this wave of inspiration. I am very proud of this part. It's also a little long (sorry sorry sorry I couldn't stop) . Also I don't think I'll be doing a tag list? When I used to do that no one on the list would like the fic and it was a lot of work. I hope that is okay? Let me know if you want more! I love and appreciate all of you!
...
You weren’t the type of person who got shy. Your entire job is being in front of a camera, telling people what you like, what you wear, the type of music you listen to. You did brand deals and went on lots of trips with people you didn’t know. Public interaction was easy for you and you definitely enjoyed it.
But being personally invited to your favorite band's concert (even if you had tickets already) as their frontman's personal guest? It makes you weak in the knees.
Telling your team about the phone call went about as good as one would expect. Anna and Case frown at you while continuing to say ‘you could’ve let it go to voicemail and we could’ve handled it directly with his people. AND why did you have him send the information directly to you?’
They weren't necessarily wrong in being upset. There were plenty of ways a conversation like that could be twisted and fucked with, especially if, for whatever reason, someone was recording the phone call. It was very easy for them to manipulate and edit that kind of shit, and drama was the last thing you wanted.
However, the rest of the week went by without an issue. The gossip magazines had moved on to something else (though there were a few who continued to speculate about your non-relationship with Eddie. You did your deals, and kept yourself busy. And by the time Friday rolled around you were hardly nervous.
Or that’s what you kept telling yourself.
“Bell bottom star pants. Absolutely,” Hana says from her place on your bathroom counter, practically in the sink. “With that black leather top you love AND the red leather jacket. Oh! Oh! Oh! And the red boots!”
You put the outfit on, looking in the mirror, “you don’t think it’s too… stereotypical?”
Hana looks at you through the mirror, “no such thing. You look great.”
Hana was one of the few people in your life who’d tell you like it is. You could trust her to tell you if her gut feelings were off, or on. She was your best friend and one of the few people who weren’t just here for the exposure. She’s here to be your cheerleader and you were hers.
“Alright, let's get this going before I change my mind which I am two seconds away from doing.”
…
You should’ve changed your mind.
You can hardly keep from throwing up as you're led by security to a private entrance. To get there you have to pass by their tour buses. All you can hear is loud music and whooping from inside. It’s clear they’re running around in there as the bus is rocking and all you can do is pray they don’t see you.
You’re far too sober for the interaction you’ll be having at this current time.
Unfortunately for you, the universe hates you. Just when you think you’re home free, the door opens, almost smacking you in the face.
“Don’t think you can get away that easy, Asher,” Eddie says as he looks down at you. His pupils are blown wide, clearly from whatever drug he’s consumed. More than likely cocaine and weed. His words aren’t slurred so he isn’t drunk, though he does have a beer bottle in his large hands.
God his hands, there have been many times where you’d imagine them wrapped around your throat, cutting off air as he fucks you like he hates you. You bet he could reach you even as he’s eating you out, he’s so tall and long.
You wish you could say the grin you shoot at him is fake, however with the way he’s looking at you, like he wants to devour and smother you, it's not. You feel like a fucking school girl who has a crush. Your heart pounds so fast in your chest and you swear everyone around you can hear it.
“We weren’t running away,” you say, voice a little breathier than you’d like. “Um this is my best friend-”
“Hana, nice to meet you,” he cuts you off. It’s then that you see his eyes get wide and you know he’s been stalking your profile. Not that you can say anything because you’ve done it… a lot. “I, uh, saw the instagram story you put up earlier.”
Hana smirks, “sure you did, big boy.” She pats his chest and is clearly much braver than you. That’s another thing about you and her, if one of you is feeling not confident, the other makes up for it. Like, on your own, asking for ketchup feels like cutting off a limb, but if she can't do it then it's up to you and vice versa.
Eddie scratches the back of his neck, his black t-shirt stretching over his wide shoulder, “want to join us? We have alcohol!”
“We would love that. Wouldn’t we?” Hana looks down at you with her brows raised, still taller than you in heels.
You nod, “yes. Yeah absolutely! Are we allowed to photograph in here?”
You know it’s a stupid thing to ask, but you also don’t want to take a photo of you and Hana and then not be able to post it. And what if you get photos with the rest of the band? Everyone already knows you’re going to be here. Just not… in this tour bus.
Eddie nods, holding out his hand, “you are allowed to do whatever you want, pretty girl. And if anyone has an issue, send them my way, yeah?” He kisses the hand you’ve placed in his before leading you up the stairs of his bus.
It's chaos in there, pure and utter chaos. You turn to look at Hana, silently telling her how insane this is. She nods slightly, but you see the grin on her face. Hana loves this stuff; the parties, the madness, all of it.
Eddie introduces you to the band, pulling you in closer by the waist. “You all need to be on your best behavior. No one touches her. Do you all understand me?” Your heart flutters at how serious he is and it instantly forces his bandmates eyes to fall to your feet. It’s impressive, actually.
Suddenly, a bottle of beer is in your hands, passed to you by Eddie. “Oh… thank you.” You can hardly look at him as a small smile forms on your lips. His attention makes you feel all kinds of funny inside, your stomach doing flips. You know you have to look at him eventually, but he’s just so pretty that it actually hurts.
“Um, so are you excited for your show?” This time you manage to actually drag your eyes to his. He smiles at you, his teeth so beautiful and perfect. It’s when he sits down that you realize that was a stupid question. Of course he’s excited. This is his actual job.
He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looks up at you through his lashes, you could kiss him. But you don’t for obvious reasons. Reasons you can't really think of at the moment. Not when he’s looking at you like that. The beer bottle hangs in his right hand between his legs.
“Very. Not much comes close to the feeling I get when we’re on that stage.” He shakes his head, curly hair moving with him, “plus, being able to hear people sing my songs back to me is fucking incredible.”
His hand finds yours, pulling you a little closer. Eddie is testing the waters, you know this. Unfortunately for you, your brain can’t see through the cloud of lust. So, you let him pull you closer, sit you on his lap, and wrap an arm around you.
Your brain does catch up, quicker than expected. “It seems like it’d be incredible. I applaud you cause I could never do that. I have stage fright.”
He blinks up at you, “stage fright? Haven’t you done red carpet interviews and stuff?”
You shift a little, shrugging, “well yes. But that’s different.” You can't stop the awkward laugh that comes out of you. It was true, it was different. You weren’t exactly sure why but it was.
Eddie's thumb moves along your side slightly and it leaves goosebumps in its wake.
“I’m being honest, the lights are so bright that I can’t see everyone in the crowds. Mainly just the front rows. Makes it easier.”
Eddie puts his beer bottle on the ground by his feet before sitting up and grabbing a joint. He’s quiet as he lights it, puffing out smoke to get it going. “Want some?”
He holds the joint towards you, waiting for your answer. You’ve done this before at the frat houses at college. You’ve done it here and there in high school as well. This is second nature, but this time you’re nervous. What if you forget how to inhale? What if you throw up? Any number of things can happen.
Something happens inside you and your brain finally catches up to itself. A small stroke of confidence happens and without taking your eyes off of him, you lean forward, wrapping your lips around the joint and inhaling. His eyes stay locked on yours, his tongue wetting his lips. You pull back, slowly blowing out the smoke.
“Fuckin’ hell.” It comes out in a whisper and you know he didn’t mean to say it out loud. His eyes falling from your eyes, to your lips and back again.
God you want to kiss him. His pillowy lips would feel amazing against yours, you just know it. You start to lean into him, desperate to know if you’re right.
A bang on the door scares the fuck out of the both of you and Eddies boot knocks over his bottle. It’s a good thing he drank most of it, the contents not spilling on the plush carpet.
“Let’s get going guys. Put your dicks back in your pants, we have a show to do.” You know that voice, that’s their manager. He’s the one who called your people to make sure you had all the rules for this evening.
Photos are fine.
Everyone must be tagged.
Nothing negative.
Absolutely no photos of any white substances. Even if it’s sugar.
That last one would be hard considering it was on every flat surface in neat, clean lines.
You go to stand up, but Eddie stops you, his hand tightening on your hip. “Promise I’ll see ya after?”
You nod, “y-yeah of course.”
Before you know it, his lips are on yours. The kiss is soft, sweet and you don’t want it to end. In fact, you totally forget about all the other people in the room. Your hands find his face, pulling him closer as his tongue begs for permission. And once you grant it, it’s game over.
He tastes like beer and weed and cigarettes and you love it. You want more. You want to get closer.
But it’s not long before the door to his trailer opens up, his manager stepping into the bus. “I said get your dicks and tongues together. We cannot be late.”
…
By the time the show is over you barely have a voice, and you’re sure you’ve never been more turned on in your life. It might seem silly to say, but Eddie's kiss lingered the entire show and all you want is more.
Back stage the band is still running on adrenaline, drinking water for once to try and refuel for the rest of the night. The rest of the night being a club that they frequent. A club you don’t go to because of that exact reason.
“Ohhhhh! There's the prettiest girls I’ve ever laid eyes on!” Eddie's voice booms as security goes to double check you and Hana. “Hey! Leave them alone. They’re with me.”
Security stands back, hands raise like he knows it’ll cause more issues if he doesn’t. You almost feel bad for the poor guy, he was just trying to do his job. Like what if you had a bomb or something?
“C’mon we gotta get outta here.” He laces his fingers with yours before he pulls you along with him. You look over your shoulder, catching Hana's eyes.
Go! She mouths, hanging off Gareth's arm. I’ll meet you there!
And so, you go. Are you nervous? Yes absolutely. Are you going to pretend you aren’t and have some confidence? Yes. Fake it till you make it right?
Eddie opens the door to the car, extending a hand, “ladies first.”
You grin at him as you elegantly slide into the car, “wow. I didn’t know you were such a gentle man.” This time when you giggle, it's cute and self assured.
“Yes, I have been told my entire life that I look,” he slides in sucking in a soft, thinking breath, “mean and scary.”
“You look like a doberman but they’re precious babies.” You mean it too. He looks a little mean and scary, especially in the red lights of the stage. Not to mention the “devil music” (says the media) which can get a little dark. But that’s what makes it great, in your opinion. Plus, he does look like doberman. Like he could probably kill you but would actually not?
“‘Precious babies?’”
You nod, “mhm! I grew up with them. Very sweet and love kisses. Oh! And they each had their own comfort toys.”
“Then maybe I am one because I do love kisses.” He’s closer now, his breath fanning over your face. He still smells like beer and cigarettes mixed in with the smell of his cologne.
It’s your turn to close the gap and planting your lips on his. The kiss is hotter, more intense. One could argue it’s because of the alcohol swimming in your system that makes you so bold. You’re buzzed, but not drunk. It isn’t long before his hands are in your hair, tugging. It makes you moan in his mouth, opening up to him.
He sits back, his hands in your hair pulling you with him, making you sit in his lap. Your legs rest on either side of his hips, your cunt nestled right against the bulge in his pants. He couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to. You test the waters by rocking your hips, the friction being so sweet that you’re the one who lets out a moan.
“God, that is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.” He kisses down your neck, nipping and sucking as he goes. “Should record it and use it in our next song.”
You hum and grin, “I wouldn’t mind that. Always wanted to be in a song. Can’t sing though.”
He nips at your ear, “that’s my job baby.”
Eddie's large hand grips your hips, stopping your movements. You want to whine, you want to protest. You were so fucking close.
“We’ll save that for when we're back at my place.”
You grin and kiss along his jaw, “who says I’m going back to your place?”
“The way you were just grindin’ against my cock, angel.” He grins, “also with how you’re lookin’ at me.”
“And how am I looking at you? Hmm?”
“Like you want me to fuck you while your brain leaks out your cunt.”
You shudder at the crudeness of his words. No one has ever spoken to you like that and looked like him. The car stopping in front of the club saves you from trying to come up with an answer. One you know will either be embarrassing or non-existent.
He looks over at the paparazzi that is waiting and sighs, “are we going in together or…”
The decision you make is quick. If you’re going to do this, even for one night, you’re going to do it together and let them talk. You give him a quick kiss, “together. Give ‘em something to talk about, yeah?”
So, you do.
The second you’re out of the car, cameras flash and photographers call out a mix of your name and his and you can hardly understand what they’re saying. You don’t stop to pose, letting them only photograph you and him walking hand and hand. Give them crumbs as your manager says. Once you’re in the club, not even needing to show an ID or give a name.
From there the night happens in a blur. The band has the VIP section where bottles of expensive liquor are brought over by women dressed in a bikini. You know how much all of this costs (more than you can afford that’s for sure) but you also know that all of this is on Eddie and the bands tab. He’s told you six times.
So you drink. And you smoke. And you watch pretty white lines disappear, most of which disappear up Eddie's nose. Of course you take videos, vlogging your night and making sure to follow all the rules that were set prior to this meeting. Taking photos to remember the night. Hana is having a blast, taking shots like it’s her job and making out with Gareth in between. Of course she takes photos with you, sitting in your lap and giggling so much the photos come out blurry. But those are your favorite kinds of photos.
“Dance with me?” Eddie says in your ear over the music.
You take the shot that is in your hands, “lead the way.”
The second you’re surrounded by sweaty bodies you feel invisible. You’re sure someone has cameras on you and him but at the moment you don’t care.
Your hips move to the music, back against Eddie's chest while his hands explore your body. His lips move against your neck, sucking a dark mark into it that you know you’ll struggle to cover later. Again, you don’t care. What you do care about is the hardness that you feel against your back.
You spin around, grinning up at him. God he’s so fucking tall you have to tilt your head up a good bit to look at him.
“We should get out of here,” you say as he pulls you into him.
He smirks, “thought you weren’t coming back to my place sweetheart.”
“Seems I told a fib. Now, I need you to take me home and fuck me like you hate me.”
It’s all he needs before he’s grabbing you by the hand and pulling you out of the club. The car is there and he quickly pulls you into the back seat. Once those doors are closed, the window tint so dark you couldn’t see inside if you tried, his mouth his on yours. Your stomach flips and the neediness you feel coming off of him. He pulls you till you’re straddling him, legs on either side of his hips. Not really the safest but at this point, all you need is his lips on you.
The ride to Eddie’s consists of lots of kissing, so much so that you know your lips are swollen. You don’t get to see much of Eddie’s house, too focused on getting inside the house and into his bedroom. He drags you up the stairs, your hand is his. And once you’re in his room, he has you pressed up against his bedroom door.
“You’re so fucking hot, baby.” Eddie pushes your jacket off your shoulders while he speaks, his words going straight to your clit. Your mind can barely comprehend that Eddie Munson, the man you’ve had a crush on since they were considered an ‘underground band,’ is currently taking off your clothes.
You do the same to him, pushing his leather jacket to the ground before tugging at the ends of his shirt and pulling it over his head. “Me? You are so beautiful.”
He hums, popping the button on your jeans, “should we take a poll on who's prettier? Winner takes the loser on a date?”
That makes you laugh, “sounds like a deal. But first, you need to fuck me.”
His eyes nearly go black at that and before you can think, he’s throwing you on this bed. You land with a small oomph. You decide to take a little initiative, pulling off your boots, scooting off your pants and pulling off your top.
Eddie watches, rapt and almost possessed, his eyes scanning your partially naked body. It’s not anything more than someone would see if you posted in a bathing suit, but you can’t help but feel nervous that he isn’t going to like you.
He quickly puts those fears (fears he knows nothing about) to rest as he settles between your legs. His eyes don’t leave yours as he kisses up your thighs. You know there is a wet patch on your underwear and you know he can see it. You do feel embarrassed about it, but at the same time, Eddie is slightly rutting against the bed so he must like it. Right?
You can feel your body heat as he gets closer and closer to your center.
“Eddie, please don’t tease me.” Never have you begged a man. Typically whoever you were in bed with did the begging, much to your dislike. You were desperate for someone to take charge. Now you know why they didn’t. One bruise and they get shit from all your followers. Even if you tell them to leave these men alone.
But Eddie? He wasn’t afraid.
“But it’s so much fun to watch you squirm.”
You huff, squirming exactly like he said as he sits up to pull your underwear down your legs before setting back between them. “Need you to touch me.”
He licks a stripe up your slit, sucking on your clit as he gets to the top. The sound that falls from your lips is beautiful, sweeter than the sound you made in the car. Now Eddie really wants to put you in a song, but the jealous, primal side of him never wants someone else to be able to hear your moans.
In fact, he doesn’t want to think about any of the other men who’ve heard you make these sounds. Murder wasn't really on his list of things he enjoyed. Bar fights? Yes. Murder? No.
“You make the prettiest sounds, sweetheart. S’very hot.” He slides two fingers inside you with little resistance, curling them up to hit the spongy spot inside you. The stretch feels good, your hips moving on their own, riding Eddie's fingers.
You're close, the build up of this moment really getting closer than you originally thought. “Squeezin’ my fingers so tight, baby. Are you close?”
You nod, afraid if you speak you’ll say something ridiculous.
But that isn’t good enough for Eddie. “Words.”
“V-very.”
That was clearly the wrong thing to say because he pulls his fingers from inside you, the emptiness making you gasp, “no! No, no, no I was so close!”
He laughs as he pushes his pants and boxers off his body. “Exactly. Want you to cum with my cock inside you.”
You look down between your bodies and your eyes widen. He was big and you accidentally voice what you’re thinking, “fuck… not gonna fit.”
His laugh drags your eyes back to him, his cock moving through your slick and bumping your clit. “Baby you are so wet that I have no doubt it’ll fit.”
You don’t have time to be embarrassed about it because Eddie is pushing inside you. The size of him stretching you makes you feel like he’s going to split you in half. But you don’t care, the burn just turns you on more and more and before you know it he’s seated inside you fully.
“Fuck, Eddie.”
Eddie is panting, trying to keep still so he doesn’t cum before he wants to. “Feel so fuckin’ good, sweetheart. A man could become obsessed with this pussy.”
He moves right as you begin to speak, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs. He feels like he’s everywhere. “W-witchcraft”
He fucks you harder, his cock hitting your cervix. You’re definitely going to have a bruise there but it's so worth it.
“Didn’t know you were into dark shit. S’my schtick.”
You wrap your legs around him, orgasm building again, “more alike than you originally thought huh?”
He wraps a tattooed hand around your throat, squeezing gently and making your head spin, “oh, angel, I knew how alike we were the second you told everyone how bad you wanted to fuck me.”
“C-can you blame me? Knew you’d fuck me just h-how I like.”
You clench around him making him hiss, “yeah you need someone who will take control huh?”
The hand around your neck slides down your body till he finds your clit, circling it.
“Oh god! Please.”
“I can get used to you prayin’ to me.” His thrusts are losing rhythm (something he’s usually very good at keeping) and you know he’s close. “Cum baby. I need it.”
And it’s all you need to fall over the cliff and into bliss. He follows you, coming inside you while you squeeze around him. You both moan each other's names and you sigh as you come down.
Eddie breaks the silence first, “that was… amazing.”
You hum in agreement as he slides out of you and curls up beside you. You take a moment before getting up and cleaning up in the bathroom. When you come back Eddie has left out an old Corroded Coffin t-shirt and some boxers. And once they’re on, you slide back into his bed, laying your head on his chest.
“We should put that poll up, huh? I’m itching to win this bet.” Eddie laughs as he says it and before you know it, you two are finding a photo the both of you like and posting it on your story with the caption, ‘which one is prettier? Honesty is the best policy.’
“And now… we wait.”
#stranger things#stranger things fic#eddie munson#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson imagine#Eddie Munson x you#eddie munson fanfic#modern!rockerstar!eddie munson x influencer!fem!reader#rockstar!eddie x fem!reader
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Reveal — Part three: celebrating
Pairing: Yoongi x fem!reader ( camboy!yoongi x camgirl!reader ) Wordcount: 4,513 words Genre: 18+ / smut. mdni! remember to not use fics as your only source of sex ed. Summary: Your birthday celebration takes a turn when Jungkook forgets to uninvite a particular guest. Part 3 of Recording & Editing. Read it in that order for context. More warnings under read more.
Includes: 3k words of just smut. Mentions of posting / selling sex content. Dirty talk. Use of pet names ( baby, doll, good girl? ). Fingering ( f ), Oral sex ( f and m ). Frottage. Cum play? A bit of overstimulation? Possessive Yoongi because Reveal!Yoongi is just like that and I can't do anything about it. It's true, I tried. Author's note: Okay, I think this is actually the last one for this. A trilogy is fine, right? But also don't quote me on that because clearly I can't seem to know how to stop writing this pair and I'm watching Jungkook from a distance like 👀 but shhh Which speaking of, I was thinking and if you want to know more about the characters in this verse specifically, you can send an ask with “( reveal!verse )” at the beginning, maybe specify if you want it to be answered ic with “( @ reveal!theirname )” , and a question or whatever you want to say. Idk, thought it could be fun~ Also, I made a post with different options for tag lists in case anyone is interested. You know, for future projects and stuff. But don't feel preassure to request it, and thank you for following this mini series. Anyway. I hope you like this and if you do please remember to comment, reblog, ask, follow, and whatnot. And again, thank you for reading <3
“You know, you could reply instead of just staring at it,” Jungkook says, over your shoulder.
You're sitting in your living room, phone in your hand with the audio post on screen. There was no way of denying you were caught, you had already embarrassed yourself by acting like a schoolgirl when telling him about SugaD leaving a comment.
“But what if I say something dumb and he deletes it?”
“Why would he do that? He thinks you're cute,” he teases.
“The cutest,” you correct, silly smile on your face once again.
“See. You should shoot your shot and talk to him, he clearly is interested in you too,” he winks, finally walking around the couch to sit at your side, fresh bowl of popcorn on his lap.
“But it's all so crazy. I don't even know how he found my page, he only follows big creators.”
“Well, he asked me.”
“What?”
“He asked who you were,” his Bambi eyes blink at you, fear creeping on his soft expression, “I… don't kill me, please.” He moves away from you and that makes you turn to him, leg over the couch and phone forgotten.
“Jungkook? What did you do?” All the scenarios go through your mind, imagining the worst. He told him you kind of have a big old crush on him even if you have never seen his face? Did he tell him about the joke of suing him because he is so—
“And I was busy so I thought, you know, he works with music and edits his own content and it seemed like a good idea,” he is talking so fast and you realize you missed the beginning of it, but before you can ask him to start over he just burst it, “so he edited it.”
“He what?”
“The audio. Your audio. He edited it.”
“My… audio.” The audio you're sure included the start of his video.
Fuck.
Shit.
That's so much worse.
You should delete your account. Delete yourself. You want to move to another country and change your name.
“Fuck.”
“I'm sorry. I should have asked you, but I figured…” he trails off, coming closer again. “I just… I didn't think it was a big deal because… well, I didn't know he was gonna subscribe to you. He only subscribes to people he is friends with and I know he doesn't even watch their stuff.”
You can tell he is trying to make you feel better, and although you appreciate the effort, everything is confusing. Does that mean he wants to be friends? But he doesn't watch his friends's content so… no friends?
“Fuck.” You murmur again.
“Are you mad at me?” Jungkook asks softly, worrying the ring on his bottom lip.
“I… don't know.”
“Do you want me to go?”
“No. Let's finish the movie.”
But you can concentrate for the rest of it, and know that you'd have to watch it again another time in case your friend brings up something important about the plot. But now, the only thing in your head is theories about what you're going to do about that one particular comment and, again, you consider just deleting the whole thing.
Jungkook invites you the next weekend to the restaurant, it's his free day but he tells you he can get you the birthday special even if it’s one day early and he can even sing for you. You tell him you are only going if he doesn't make a whole thing out of it. You'd wear the birthday hat and blow out the candles, but if he dares to bring more attention to you, you actually will kill him.
He believes you.
And so, here you are. Sitting in a booth in front of Jungkook and Hanna, your best friend. Big chocolate cake in front of you that they insisted on getting because “you can have it for dessert for the next week and think about how much we love you”, and also because you love chocolate.
“Sorry. Am I late?” A voice behind you interrupts the end of the birthday song, your smile falling because you could recognize it anywhere, and the fact that he is here makes you panic.
“Oh, shit… ah…” Jungkook stumbles over his words, even comes close to knocking his drink. “Sorry. Hi.” He greets the guy and throws an apologetic look your way. “This is my friend Yoongi.”
“Oh, hi. I'm Hanna and didn't know we were waiting for someone, but good thing we got a big cake, uh?” she jokes and looks at you. She does that whenever you're around people and you don't talk, her way of making you feel included.
But right now you want to disappear. Birthday crown and all. Maybe take the cake too.
“Hi,” you say timidly, eyes on Jungkook instead.
“I…” he starts, remorseful look on his face as he explains, “invited Yoongi last week, didn't want to third wheel with you two.”
“Oh, that's fun! Well, you want to sit there or should I move?” Hanna proposes and you're about to say she should come to your side even if that means Jungkook has to stand up too, but Sug— Yoongi speaks faster.
“I’ll sit here. Is that okay?”
You only nod, scooting to your right to make space for him. To not be so close he notices how nervous he makes you just with his presence.
He smells nice. Fresh and woody at the same time, and is only overwhelming because is him. Because a lot of things about him are a mystery still and you are about to unlock them all right now.
“Those are cute,” Hanna says.
“Ah, yes. I… these are for you,” a bouquet is presented on your line of vision. Is not big nor too much, the perfect size to be a nice present and it lets you admire the flowers’ beauty. “Happy birthday.”
“You didn't have to.”
“You don't like it?” If you weren't so focused on your own nerves you'd have noticed the ones on his voice.
“I do.” You quickly say. It's cute. The lavender mixed with two types of white flowers you don't recognize but you love the look of, mostly the one that looks like little stars. “Is really pretty. Thank you.”
“I'll bring you a drink,” Jungkook says, and looking at him you know he needs one himself. You could actually kill him after this.
“Wait, where is the restroom?” Asks Hanna and your eyes lift from your present so fast your neck almost hurts, but she is quickly disappearing in the direction Jungkook points her to.
And that's what you get for keeping everything a secret from your best friend. Karma as its finest.
“Pff,” you breathe, sinking into your seat.
“I can go if you want me to,” Yoongi says softly at your side.
“What? No, no is—” you try to explain is not him. Nothing is wrong actually. Everything is perfect and you're totally not freaking out.
“You haven't looked my way,” does he sounds hurt? “Is alright. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just thought… I don't know. JK invited me weeks ago and then I found out who you were,” you cringe at that, knowing he most likely means when he listened to your audio. “I figured I'd take the chance and meet you.”
“Why? I mean. Don't you feel uncomfortable because of the…” finishing your sentence feels unnecessary and saying it at loud is embarrassing.
“The fact that you watch my videos?”
“I swear I only watched like three and I don't do that with all of them is just— Are you laughing?” Finally you turn to him, a smirk playing on his lips.
“Sorry, sorry. But is that supposed to make me feel better?”
You don't answer.
“Of course I don't mind.” He leans in, "If you sound that cute, I'll let you watch all of them for free.”
Breath caughts on your throat, looking at him with big round eyes. His face is right there and you try to take it all in. Clean shaved, jawline not too harsh and with soft features, crested moon shaped brown eyes, pink lips, and the way they curve up when he catches you staring at them.
“I don't want to go, but if you want me to, I'll do it.” he backs out, and somehow you can tell he is genuine.
“Stay.”
After dinner and some chatting, Jungkook offers to drive Hanna home and Yoongi takes you to his place. It’s fancy, looks like taken out of a magazine and you tell him exactly that. He asks you if you want to judge his room too and with a laugh you tell him yes, because honestly, you're curious now.
You tell him it doesn't look too cozy and suggest investing in a nice blanket, he raises an eyebrow at you and finally you confess you're an interior designer by day. He tells you he is a music producer. And then you talk about how and why each of you decided to join OF and what kind of things you have discovered you like during that journey.
“Interesting,” he says when you confess you started following him because of a hand picture you saw somewhere else. He has been playing with your fingers while you lay on his bed, is relaxing and you don’t mind at all. “You said you were going to sue me, should I even be this close?”
“Oh my—” you pull away, covering your face. And he laughs. “Go away.”
“No, c'mon. It's cute.” He tries to turn your body to its side, but you don't give in. “Look at me, please.”
“No. I can't.”
“Why?”
“Because no.”
He laughs again, hand on your hip, “Baby, please?” Head shake is your answer, “I'm sorry. Should I confess something too?”
“Yes.”
“Let's see,” he props himself on his elbow, looking at you even if you are still covered. “I knew about you before the audio.”
“You did?”
“Well, Jungkook talks about you all the time and I was curious. I think it was the third time you guys collabed that I saw a picture and he mentioned your name on his page.”
“Which picture?” You ask, uncovering half your face to look at him, he smiles.
“The one with the books. You were holding one in front of you.”
You remember that. Like all your pictures with Jungkook, it was suggestive more than anything and in that one the pose made it look like you were touching yourself.
“And now I know what you sound like doing that,” he teases, “wonder if I'd be lucky enough to see it someday.”
“You've to stay subscribed and see,” is your turn to have fun.
“Should I make another instruction video for you?” or maybe not. And before you cover yourself again, he holds your wrist, bracelet digging a little on your skin but not enough to actually hurt. “Don't. Let me see you.”
“Yoongi…”
“Fuck. Don't say my name like that,” is only half joking, but he knows you can tell he wants you just as much. “Can I kiss you?”
You nod and his lips touch yours in a millisecond. They are soft, but his movements are quick, and soon his tongue is asking for permission to enter your mouth. With a moan, you granted happily and hungry to taste him.
His hand goes back to your waist, only resting before squishing it gently. Your own hand traveling to his nape and bringing him closer, your chests touching.
In need of air you break the kiss, and instead of stopping, his mouth keeps working down your jaw and neck, “ohh…” you try to breathe, throwing your head back just enough to give him space. It feels so good you don't want to stop.
And he doesn't. He continues until he reaches the fabric of your dress, covering your chest. He imagines your little gold collar he saw in some pictures. He thinks about buying you one on silver to match his own jewelry or buying a chain for himself the color of yours. Anything would do, he just wants you to be his and for people to know.
“W-wait,” your voice brings him back, and he stops immediately, “don't leave marks. At least not visible.”
“Okay, I can get creative.” A wink seals his promise and his hand moves to the buttons in the front of your dress, his lips following soon behind to attach themselves to the exposed skin. To your breast. He licks and kisses and when he reaches your nipple he flicks his tongue a few times.
That gets a good reaction from you, but he still asks “You like that?” because it does good to his ego and the mid-erection on his pants.
You nod between whimpers and can feel his laugh through his chest resting on your stomach, “is that enough?” You look at him, the lust on his eyes and his stupid smirk on his lips when he frees your abused skin from his mouth, leaving a bruise on your breast. “Is my tongue enough to make you cum, doll?”
And your pussy answers for herself. Legs impossibly close in search of some friction and, of course, Yoongi noticed.
“You need something?”
“P-please…”
“Tell me. I'll give you anything, baby.” His voice is raspy like on the videos you watch alone at night. Except is not through a screen and is actually directed to you. Is everything you wanted while touching yourself and for a second you wonder if it's really happening.
Running your hand through his hair you look at him, now lower on the bed and playing with the bottom of your dress while he waits for a sign between your folded legs, cheek against your thigh, letting you catch your breath.
“Yoongi?”
“Hmm?” his hand stops on your leg, heavy and warm.
“Touch me, please.”
And you don't have to tell him twice. His hands roam your body, while he leaves kisses here and there. Too desperate to finish unbuttoning it, the bottom of your dress gets pooled at your waist, revealing the lilac lingerie he saw a picture of the other day.
“So pretty,” he whispers, fingertips traising the embroidered details. It makes you shiver. “Fuck, I can see how wet you are.” His movements travel south to the patch over your entrance, and you respond just as he expects, moaning.
And before you can get used to that, his tongue is on you, flat over the wet and thin fabric. “Can't wait to taste you properly,” sounds a lot like a promise.
Biting your lip, you contemplate asking him to hurry, to give you anything. To get rid of all of your clothes yourself.
But he knows exactly how to drive you crazy.
Moving your panties to the side with the help of his left hand, the fingers on his right one make an appearance again. Collecting your wetness and using it to rub over your pussy, only applying little pressure at first. Moans echo throughout his room once again, louder and this time in the company of a couple groans from him when he finally pushes in.
“O-oh… oh my,”
“That's it. Let me hear your pretty sounds,” he encourages, letting you get used to the sensation before adding another one, his eyes on you the whole time. In the way you lick your lips before moaning, the way your hips move towards his hand asking to be fucked, the way your pussy wraps around his fingers.
“...more.” Is barely a whisper but he hears it, smiling at you.
“Want more? Is not enough?”
“Need you, please”
And how can he say no to you when you look at him that way. Like he is the only one that can give you what you need, how you want.
His head disappears between your legs, mouth watering at the thought. He can't even deny he was waiting for you to ask him to eat you out, he would do it in a second, whenever you want, because “oh, god, you taste so sweet.”
Feeling your legs closing he holds them back, pushing them against your torso with his free hand and squishing your soft skin just as tight as you are doing to his fingers. Thinking about how much force he would need to apply to leave a mark.
“F-fu… fuck. It, it feels so good, please.”
He is proud, lips curving lightly but without wanting to pull away to smile properly. His tongue laps at your entrance alongside his fingers, moving faster and faster, against that spot that makes your body tremble and makes the knot at the bottom of your abdomen want to scream.
“Please, please, please…”
And he knows what that means. Knows you're close and just need a little push, and he gives it to you in the form of a “Cum for me, baby.”
And you do. Head back and pussy tight around him, legs closing and hand pushing him away when his tongue keeps working, overstimulating and catching all that you give him.
“Oh… my…” you breath. Legs still shaking but feet finally on the mattress again.
He is standing at the end of his bed, one hand pushing his long hair back and the other unbuckling his belt, eyes on you while he takes you in. “Was that good?” He asks, you nod and he smiles matching yours. “Great. You deserve it.”
“You want some help with that?”
“What do you want?” Yoongi throws back, “You’re the birthday girl, after all.”
Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, thoughts filled with ideas of the things you had wished to be able to do before, you watch him get rid of his jeans and boxers, his dick on full view for you. Only you. “Can I suck you off?”
Obviously, he can't say no, so he nods and you are quick to stand up, legs still feeling a bit weak after your orgasm, but it isn't a problem because as quick as your dress falls completely to the floor, you're kneeling in front of him, between his legs and hands on his tights.
You watch him stroke himself a couple times through gritted teeth, his other hand coming to cup your cheek as you get closer to his length. Saying you had been waiting for this wouldn't be an exaggeration, and without breaking eye contact you stick your tongue out, touching the blush tip slowly.
He sighed, as if he was, too, relieved at the contact. “So pretty.”
You push his hand away, taking his hardened length into your hand, only realizing then how big he actually is.
Tapping his dick on your tongue gets you a groan from him and you hum as you wrap your lips around the head, circling your tongue around it inside your mouth before letting go. He smiles at you, his chest moving fast as his breathing increases and his eyes are filled with lust. Your hand moves up and down when your mouth is not working, still wanting him to feel good.
Preparing yourself, you get closer again, taking more in and closing your eyes, adjusting to the girth.
“Fuck,” he moans, thumb softly stroking your face as his hand moves to the back of your neck when you imitate the previous movements of your hand, going up and down, taking more and more into your mouth. “Y-yeah, just like that.”
The encouragement helps the feeling on your lower abdomen to build in again, pussy squeezing around nothing and moaning around his dick, making Yoongi clench his jaw, bucking his hip up, and letting his grip go only at the last second. He wants to fuck your mouth so bad. Only watching your lips around him is driving him crazy and you feel oh, so warm.
“So pretty, doll,” he compliments as you try to keep your eyes on him as much as possible, only closing them when he hits the back of your throat.
You come up, catching your breath as you let your hand do some more work. Collecting your spit and rubbing your thumb on his sensitive tip. He reacts just as you expect, groans and head tilted back slightly, with his hands on either side gripping the black sheets. And that gives you an idea.
“Can you…” eyes are on you immediately, but you wish they weren't because that makes you shy and is even more difficult to ask.
“Tell me, baby.” He pleads, “I'll give you anything, just ask.”
But is easier to show than tell, and your fingers grab around one of his wrists, positioning his hand on the back of your head. “Just… hold it.”
“Fuck.” He has to inhale quickly before nodding, are you reading his mind? “tap my thigh if it gets too much, okay?”
A nod of your own, licking your lips before taking his dick in your mouth once again, the simple weight of his hand being enough to encourage you to take more in and staying there a bit longer before bobbing your head.
Yoongi alternates between letting you follow your own peace and holding you down for a few more seconds every once in a while, finally letting himself slam his hips more harshly against your mouth and the back of your throat. His moans fill the air as he pushes into you. “feels amazing… you take my cock so well.” You hum, making his hips fuck into you at the vibration, increasing the tension on his lower abdomen. “Such a good girl.”
“I could fuck your pretty mouth all night,” he goes on, looking down at you and all the mess you've created between his legs. “Oh f-fuck. What a beautiful sight.” opening your eyes makes the view even better, and he holds your head down, making you gag around his dick, “ah… ah…” he lets go, not wanting to come just yet.
And it might be the first time you see him and his beautiful dick in person, but SugaD’s last video is fresh on your mind, —how could it not after the anxiety of him finding out— so you remember he likes to hold back. And is hot. But he is right, is your birthday celebration and you don't want to play by his rules.
“Are you close?” the hoarseness in your voice is surprising for a second, but you don't have time to think about how it's most likely going to hurt tomorrow because he is fixing your hair behind your ears with a devious smile on his beautiful face.
“Want me to come in your pretty mouth?”
“No.” He raises an eyebrow at the quickness of your answer. “I have an idea.”
Standing up, your knees thank you, only realizing then you'll also have to deal with that later, being so in your head while giving head, the weight of having him in your mouth a priority, that you didn't even care until then.
You're back laying on his bed, pulling Yoongi to be in front of you, between your legs. “Is going to be embarrassingly fast if you ask me to fuck you right now.”
And for a second you consider it. Because he is not saying no and because he looks so good like this, hands reaching down to hold your waist and bring you closer to him down the bed. But you shake your head no. “You ruined my plans today,” feeling the need to justify your pervy desires you explain, “I was supposed to take pics today for my birthday post, so now you have to help.”
“You want me to take pictures of you?” also not saying no, just clarifying, and you can see in the lust of his gaze he likes the idea.
“I want you to do something first,” shyness invades again but looking down at his hardened length is enough to deliver the message, “and then take a picture. If you want.”
Yoongi is close to you again, bending down to kiss you with a “fuck yes, I want to.” His dick is resting over your pelvis, and you can't help the involuntary thrust your own body does. It feels heavy, and warm, and just so perfect. And when he thrust his hips, frotting against yours, you can't take it.
“Y-yoongi,” and he does it again and again, and soon you're cumming by just the feeling and the thought of how would it be to be actually fucked by him, how much would he reach inside you, making you feel so full and “Ohhh… oh”
He holds you and kisses down your neck as you come down your high a second time, before kneeling once more at the end of the bed. “You look so fucking precious, baby,” he notes, hand wrapping around his dick once more.
“You look great too,” you offer, biting your lip before letting honesty take over shyness, “I finally get to see you.”
“You been thinking about it?” He knows exactly what you mean. The reason he cuts it off his videos isn't just for privacy, is to give people something to wish for, to yearn.
You nod.
“Baby wants to see me cum?” Another nod, lost for words, but he is not having it. “Tell me.”
“Yoongi…”
“C'mon, baby. Tell me,” he taps his dick over your clothed pussy. Once, twice. Making your body jump at each touch. He teases the tip over your over-sensitive area and then taps again. Honestly, is hard to tell if he is teasing you or himself, but either works.
“I-I want to see you, please.”
His wrist moves in a faster rhythm, his other hand resting on your leg because he just needs to touch you. “Yeah? I'm going to cum,” he pants, “and you're going to show people how gorgeous you look covered on it.”
You really don't know how much he loves the idea of that, how much he wants to show the world you let him ruin you, how you whisper “please, please,” as he finishes, head thrown back and your name escaping his lips on a moan, shooting white over your naked stomach.
But you can imagine, his victory smile gives him away. And the way he keeps complimenting you all the while grabbing his phone and snapping picture after picture just confirms it.
But you can judge Yoongi too harshly, it does something to you as well. It helps your confidence and a proud smile matches his as he tells you people are going to hate him if you really post this on your page. And that newfound confidence tells you is going to be the first time you click upload without second-guessing yourself.
[ afterhours(y/n): Thank you for the birthday wishes! I indeed got a nice present, don't you think? [ picture ] ]
[ SugaD: Unbelievable 😻 Can we do something for my birthday too? ]
♡ Tag list: @m00njinnie , @sexytholland , @seoullove96 , @thelilbutifulthings , @disneyprincessshuri , @yoongibaybee ,
Thank you so much guys for your interest and support on this little series, I appreciate you 🥺💙
➪ Part one. | ➪ Part two | ➪ Updates for this verse | ➪ Ko-fi
➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Updates in general | ➪ Request & chats ♡
#( writing. )#( reveal )#( reveal: celebrating )#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi smut#min yoongi fanfic#min yoongi fic#yoongi fanfic#yoongi smut#yoongi fic#yoongi#yoongi x reader#bts x reader#yoongi x f!reader#yooglefics
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Evidence ✂️ (Tim Rockford One-shot)
Pairing: Tim Rockford x Female Reader
Summary: Tim knows a lot about vasectomies
Word count: ~1.8k
Rating: Explicit (18+ only. NO MINORS)
Content Warnings: Vasectomy kink (aka the opposite of breeding kink), unprotected PIV, vague detective work (don’t worry about it), destruction of important documents?
A/N: It has been a while since I wrote one of these! Big thanks to @veryprairieberry for sparking the idea and for patience while I pondered it for a very long time. Also, thanks to @burntheedges for the beta and assuring me I was not crazy lol. All my vasectomy kinks are marked with “✂️” and linked on my new Vasectomy Kink Masterlist!
Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!
Vasectomy Kink Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Taglist – link in my bio or ask me to add you!
“Think,” Tim admonishes himself, staring at the board filled with crime scene photographs and bits of evidence. “What are we missing?”
“We’ve been staring at it for days.” You pull at your neck, trying to relieve the tension, a habit you likely picked up from your partner. Sharing an office with someone will do that. You sigh and sit down at your desk, leafing through pages of witness testimony you’ve gone over a hundred times already. “Maybe we should call it a night. Look again in the morning?”
A knock at the door interrupts you. “Excuse me, detectives, the medical records you requested arrived. Thought I’d drop them off on my way out.” A lackey from the records office holds out a manilla envelope in Tim’s direction.
“Thanks,” Tim stands up from the chair he had been straddling and takes the envelope. He pulls out the stack of papers and begins to scan them one by one.
“I don’t know what you expect to find in there.” Your frustration over this case has made you pessimistic.
“You never know,” Tim mumbles under his breath as he continues reading page after page. You go back to your testimony, looking for anything you could have missed. Apparently, you’re not done for the evening.
“Got it!” Tim exclaims making his way over to you and dropping the stack of papers on top of your desk with a thud.
You read the top page. “He had a vasectomy?”
“He had a vasectomy,” Tim repeats back to you. “Five years ago. He isn’t the father.”
“You don’t know that. Vasectomies fail.” It’s compelling, but not the slam dunk Tim seems to think.
“No, they don’t, not if…” He shuffles through the papers some more. “There,” he points to a test result a few pages later, “he gave a follow up sample and no sperm was detected. The chance of a vasectomy failing after that point is basically zero. Men just say that to get out of having it done.”
“How do you know so much about vasectomies?”
“Well, I had one.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, long time ago,” he says distractedly as he makes his way back to the board of evidence, rearranging things in light of this new discovery. He picks up his mug of, what has to be by now, very cold coffee and takes a sip.
You, on the other hand, are frozen at your desk. Tim had a vasectomy? Tim is shooting blanks?
This information is eliciting a strong reaction in your body.
It’s swooping through your gut.
It’s making your palms sweat and your skin prickle.
It’s…
Rage.
Burning rage floods your system, heating your skin and making your heart pound.
“You had a vasectomy?” you ask him again, trying to keep your tone even.
“Yeah, are you… angry?” Tim turns to face you, looking confused. Maybe your voice wasn’t as neutral as you hoped.
“I’ll be asking the questions, Detective Rockford.” You push back from your desk and stand up slowly. You take a deep breath in and exhale through your nose, keeping your voice deadly calm, as if you’re interrogating a suspect. His forehead creases in confusion, but he waits for you to speak. “When did you have it done?”
“Twelve years ago now, I guess.”
“Why?”
“I decided kids weren’t something I was interested in, seemed like the right thing to do.”
“I see,” you pace across the room, tapping your finger to your lips, rage still simmering below the surface of your skin.
His eyes follow you as you go.
“You made this decision on your own?”
“Well, yeah. I wasn’t in a relationship at the time. I don’t und….” You hold up a finger to silence him mid-sentence.
“You found the doctor, scheduled it, all of that?”
“Of course.”
“So, you are telling me…” You turn to face him as he takes another sip of his coffee, “that I could have had you bare these past six months?”
Tim chokes.
When he finally stops coughing, he wipes his hand across his mouth. “Is that why you’re upset?”
“Yes! We’ve been using condoms when we didn’t need to!”
“There are other reasons to wear a condom.”
“Do I need to be worried about any of those reasons with you?”
“Well, no.”
“You don’t need to be worried about them with me either.”
“I never thought I did.”
“You’re so fucking responsible.” The words come out angry, but there’s a new heat growing in your core. Responsibility is fucking hot.
“I’m… sorry?” Tim apologizes as you make your way to the office door and lock it.
“You should be sorry.” You stalk towards him until you’re close enough to grab him by the holsters. You watch as his adam’s apple bobs in his throat. You pull yourself flush with his front, noting the bulge pressing against your thigh.
“How can I make it up to you?” he rasps.
“Fuck me on your desk, Detective. Bare.”
“You’re so fucking sexy when you’re angry,” he growls, pulling you into a searing kiss. His tongue invades your mouth as you both scramble with belts, buttons, and clasps. You’ve come to love the taste of bitter coffee and Chinese takeout on Tim’s tongue. Tastes you will forever associate with him as it’s never been very long since he’s had either.
Your clothes come off quickly in between frantic kisses, but you stop him as he moves to remove his shirt and holsters. “Don’t… I need something to hold on to.”
“Fuck, baby, when you say things like that…” his fingers dig into your bare hips as you set your ass at the edge of the desk and lean back on your elbows, opening yourself up for him with a smirk.
Tim’s cock bobs eagerly in front of you, framed by his open shirt. He takes it in his hand, stroking slowly up and down the thick length.
Pages of documents crinkle underneath you, but you can’t care. Right now, all that matters is the beautiful man looking down at you with lust blown eyes.
“I want your cock, Tim. Now.”
He steps into the space between your open legs, cock in hand, and guides the tip through your wet pussy. You both groan as he nudges at your clit and drags back through your folds.
“So wet,” he whispers, reverently. He repeats his path several times, coating his cock in your slick before notching the head at your entrance. “You sure you don’t want my fingers first?”
You vehemently shake your head and bite your lip as you look down between your legs. He nudges at your entrance gently and you whimper.
“I know baby, I know,” he soothes you, and probably himself, from how completely wrecked he looks – slack jawed and panting. With a guttural groan, he breaches your entrance.
You both watch as his bare length disappears into your wet heat.
“Oh god, fuck,” your eyes roll back in your head as he enters you slowly, stretching your sensitive pussy around his cock, working his way in inch by inch. You feel the thick ridge of his head drag along your walls as your body gives way. Without any barrier between you, the sensation is divine.
“Fuck, baby,” Tim breathes as he bottoms out inside you. “I need a second. You feel so good.” He closes his eyes, overcome with the feeling of you. His hands flex against your bare thighs as he takes deep, centering breaths.
After a few moments, he opens his eyes, locking his gaze with yours and, slowly, starts to move.
“Yes, yes, yes,” you whine with each slow thrust and drag of his cock. Sex with Tim has been good, great even, but this… this is heaven. You glance down to watch his clock slide in and out of you. The sight of him veiny and glistening is almost too much to bear. Your pussy begins to flutter.
Tim leans over you, pressing your knees into your chest. “Fuck, you’re amazing. So wet and hot and tight. It’s been…. oh god… so long…”
The new angle hits just right and you can feel your orgasm building.
“Yes, just like that,” you throw your head back. “Fuck, your cock feels good.”
Tim licks his thumb and finds your clit between your bodies, speeding up your impending release.
“Are you going to come on my cock, baby?”
“Oh god, yes, please,” you beg, feeling the telltale pressure deep in your core.
“You have to be quiet for me,” he rumbles under his breath. You’re not new to sneaking around at work, but until now you had saved the fucking for outside the office. “Look at us,” he murmurs, rubbing your clit in time with his thrusts.
You look down and gasp at the sight of his thick cock entering your pussy. The last of your control snaps and you’re pulsing around him as you try not to scream his name and announce your relationship to the entire precinct.
When you come back to yourself, Tim is still slowly dragging himself through your sensitive walls, nostrils flared, clearly fighting to delay his own release.
Aftershocks zing through your body and you clench around him.
He hisses and pauses, “Baby, if you squeeze me like that, I’m going to come.”
You smile to yourself as he picks up his rhythm again, then squeeze as he pulls most of the way out.
He gasps and pulls out the rest of the way, pressing a kiss to your knee and laughing, “You have to stop that.”
“What if I don’t want to stop that?” You reach between your legs with one arm and grab his holster, pulling him to you for a sloppy kiss. “I want you to come. Fill me up, Detective.”
Tim practically growls as he lines himself back up with your entrance and slides in fast and deep. You bring your other hand up to grab the holster on the other side, balancing on your ass and holding on for dear life as he thrusts into you. His strong arms cage you in and support you as he pants into your neck.
“You feel so good, what was I thinking not fucking you bare this whole time? Oh god… oh fuck…” he stutters as he empties himself inside you.
You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, nuzzling into his neck and his scruff as he catches his breath.
“Who would have thought… responsible Detective Rockford fucking in his office.”
Tim chuckles into your shoulder. “Can’t be responsible all the time.”
You smile and pull his lips to yours for a soft kiss. “Let’s get out of here.” You peel your ass off the papers on the desk and turn to survey the crinkled mess you’ve left behind. “That’s going to be a problem.”
Tim wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your shoulder, “Eh, I’ll just spill some coffee on it, no one will know the difference.”
You laugh, “Tim Rockford, you are just full of surprises.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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Title: Everyone Else Is No.2 {One-Shot}***
Lewis Hamilton x Attorney Friend Reader
Warning: Cursing, NSFW, Mature 18+ Content, Angst, PLENTY OF WORDS, DIALOGUE HEAVY
Words: 15.2k
Summary: Again, nah.
Note: Inspired by that old August Alsina song "Kissing on My Tattoos". So sorry for how long it is and for the long sentences toward the end, it couldn't be any other way. Forgive the weird spacing throughout, Tumblr has a 1,000 block limit per post, and guess who reached it before correcting the spacing.
Note II: Really interested in hearing what you guys think about this one. Let me know.
As always, thank you guys for reading! I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this.
If you did enjoy this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!
***NOT Edited/Proofread***
-Y/N-
"You're beautiful you know that right?"
You smiled and took a sip of your drink.
"Thanks."
The man sitting across from you, Darius, nodded and before he looked down to his plate you caught his eyes drop to your cleavage. Of course, you thought. This was your 2nd date with him. The first went smoothly though you'd went with little to no expectations for it to be so. Tonight, he said the right things, did the right things, and was the perfect gentleman.
He'd even chosen a great restaurant. The ambiance was perfect for a second date. So far you had only counted 2 things that were less than satisfactory, everything was on point. He was so on point that you wondered if he was acting and not being his genuine self.
You hated the dating scene. Everyone held their cards too close to their chest. No one was ever real about anything. Everyone liked to waste people's time all in the name of fun and sex. These days you only treated dating as a pastime and a way to relieve stress after long hours of working on briefs and reviewing case files.
"A woman with your track record in law. Wheeew. Was it hard?"
You shrugged then wiped the corner of your mouth, "It definitely wasn't easy. I still remember the sleepless nights, and times when I only had 1 meal a day. My parents still remember not seeing me for 3 months because of the bar and my first major case that came nearly right behind the other. They won't let me forget it."
"It looks like it paid off. You're on the partner track. Shit, you'd be the first woman under 35 to make that happen at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw," Darius said.
You bristled, but politely smiled and took another sip of your wine.
"I'm sorry I don’t mean to make this weird I'm just in awe of you."
You studied him for a few moments but found no lie. You could always tell a lie. No matter what the case, no matter who it was. It was your secret weapon and it served you well as a lawyer.
"Thank you, but enough about me. What about you? Tell me about Darius Forrester."
He smiled, licked his lips then looked you directly in the eye.
"I'm pretty much a what you see you get kind of guy. I've been at Berry & Clark for the last 6 years as a criminal attorney. The work is challenging but I do alright for myself.
You nodded. He did. From what you heard his win ratio was nearly 92% and he took upstanding cases. He was a good attorney. Normally you wouldn’t shit where you ate because mess was not your style. You did not want to walk into a courtroom or boardroom and see the opposing counsel was an ex. That one thing gave you nightmares.
So dating lawyers was out of the question. You dipped in every other career field, playing it safe. The further they were from a law career the better. However, after a conversation with your other lawyer girlfriends about limiting oneself in the already limited dating pool, something clicked, and you decided to try it once but only if they weren't in your firm. Darius was your first attempt.
As he continued to tell you facts about himself you listened, but he didn't have your full attention. There was another person who held your attention, a person who though was usually out of sight was never really out of mind.
You heard your phone sound from your clutch resting on the table and both your eyes shot to it. Darius spoke before you moved.
"Go ahead please."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm an attorney as well, Y/N I know you come attached to it."
You smiled, held up your finger to him silently promising it would be quick, then took your phone in hand. You expected it to be Kemi, your paralegal, with files you were expecting, but it wasn't her name on your screen.
MSG Lewis: What're you doing tonight? Going over an endless to-do list of contracts and briefs?
You smirked.
MSG: Not even close.
MSG Lewis: Wow did someone finally decide to live a little and cut loose?
MSG: This sounds an awful lot like the pot calling the kettle black.
MSG Lewis: Plead the 5th.
MSG: The Lewis Hamilton out maneuvered. Say it ain't so.
MSG: I'm close to your place. Just got back in town. Can you be ready in 10?
Your eyes flitted to Darius across from you who was taking the time to check his messages as well. You looked over him slowly, noting again how great he looked in his suit and how you liked the effort he had put in the last 2 dates down to the flowers he brought you and the activities you'd done. Things could progress if you chose to allow them to.
MSG Lewis: Is that a no?
MSG: I'm not home.
MSG Lewis: Okay. Where you at, the office? I can come pick you up.
MSG: I'm not at the office. I'm actually on a date.
You waited a few seconds, but he didn’t reply. Why didn't he reply?
"Everything ok?"
Caught off guard, you looked back up to Darius whose eyes were already on you. His brows were knitted with concern.
"Uh--yeah. I uh--I think so."
"A case?"
You thought about it and technically he was right. You were Lewis' entertainment lawyer. You were his personal attorney who reviewed the contracts after the company attorney said they had. You gave it to him between the eyes, never sugarcoating, and told him what was made with his best interest and what was made to capitalize off of him. However, when your services weren’t needed you were friends. Had been for practically a decade now.
Sometimes you couldn’t believe you’d known each other that long. You’d known him since he was just another F1 driver rather than the greatest. He knew you when you were going through school always on an empty tank all in the hopes of rising above the tax bracket you were born into. A decade later and he was dominating F1 and you’d more than risen yourself several levels past the tax bracket you’d been born into.
You were on the partner track at one of the largest firms in Europe. You brought in more revenue than most of the attorneys at the firm thanks to your high-class clientele. You'd both worked your asses off to get to this level and enjoyed the spoils of your labor often. You clubbed together, went to dinner, and sometimes did the vacation vibe together. You enjoyed one another’s company.
"A client."
"Oh. Everything cool or---," Darius said.
Another message came in just then. "Everything is cool."
Darius smiled. "Good. I'll be right back, men’s room."
"Yeah."
Darius stood then walked off leaving you with the perfect opportunity to check your phone.
MSG Lewis: Is that right?
MSG: Yeah. 2nd date. Well technically 3rd if you can have 2 dates in one day.
MSG Lewis: Cool. Is it going well?
MSG: Yeah. He's made it this far.
MSG Lewis: Cool.
MSG: When he drops me home Ill text you. Come get me then.
Several moments passed before he replied. Again, you wondered why.
MSG Lewis: Cool.
The remainder of dinner you were distracted. Darius played all his cards right, even scoring himself the green light on a little hand-holding action. You had to admit he was smooth. When he pulled up to your condo building he walked you to your door then went in for a kiss. You hadn’t expected it, but rather than pull away, you allowed it to play out. It wasn’t a bad kiss. He hadn’t been too overzealous, only slipped you a little tongue, and had kept his hands respectful. All in all, for a first kiss it was a solid 8.
With a promise to call to set date number 4 sometime next week, you went inside and allowed yourself to come down. The dating scene was not something you enjoyed often. You always felt like you were performing, like men wanted a certain kind of woman, the perfect woman who they could prance around on their arm to make other men envious and that took its toll.
You never felt you had to perform with Lewis. Never felt like he wanted the perfect you. He made fun of you whenever you were perfectly put together for work meetings and said many times he liked you out of the makeup and heels. After another sigh, you took your phone out and texted him.
~~~~~~
-Lewis-
The ceiling looked like every other ceiling he’d ever seen but that didn’t stop him from focusing most of his attention on it like it was the most interesting piece of construction ever. His eyes should have been focused elsewhere but they weren’t. A loud 'slurp' echoed in the mostly quiet room reminding him again that he wasn’t alone.
"Mm. Why are you so distracted tonight, bae?"
Julissa's voice was as smooth as honey and as seductive as ever. He lowered his eyes to where she was kneeling between his legs and took her in. Her lips and chin were wet as she gave him her bedroom eyes. This was not the first time between them. Usually, it would work but not tonight. Tonight he was struggling to even keep his head in the room.
He watched her tip her tongue out and lick from the base of his dick to the glistening tip. Once there she swirled her tongue around him then sucked his head into her mouth. He’d have to be dead for it not to feel nice but that’s all it was--nice.
He sighed then brought his attention back to the ceiling. "Work."
"Aw babe, when you’re with me work should be the last thing on your mind," Julissa said before lowering her mouth down his shaft. When he felt her tonsils he groaned. His body wanted to like this wanted to give her the reaction she was working so hard for, but something was holding him back. Julissa's mouth bobbed up and down his cock sucking and slurping to her heart’s content trying to get him off, but he knew she had her work cut out for her.
He thought back to your text from 2 hours ago. You were on a date. Well shit, he hadn’t seen that coming. That was the last thing he had expected you to be doing tonight. It wasn’t because you weren’t desirable, or he thought no man would want you. For fuck's sake, you were beyond desirable, you were gorgeous and so damn intelligent. He couldn’t figure out which of those made you more beautiful, your looks or your brains. You also worked hard to be where you were, and you deserved all the praise and attention you got wherever you went.
However, sometimes he wished you got a little less male attention--x that, a lot less male attention. He sighed again. This had been going on for 10 years now. Your friendship had only strengthened but along with a strengthening friendship came a lot of other stuff. Stuff like him taking notice of the fullness of your hips or being tempted to peek when you’d been changing in the backseat of his car, or being painfully aware of how your breasts felt against his chest when you hugged.
That coupled with things he had picked up from you, made the unspoken and ignored things that much more—confusing. There were times when the way you stared at him when you thought he wasn’t looking spoke volumes or the way your hand always lingered on him for a few seconds longer than necessary but not long enough for it to be inappropriate, or the time you'd fallen asleep together on the couch and he'd woken to you wrapped around him using him as your personal body pillow and mumbling his name in your sleep.
Yeah, there was a lot of extra stuff, stuff neither of you ever addressed. The only ones who assessed it were his friends. Miles told him on several occasions that he should be careful before he or you fucked around, and someone ended up hurt. That stuck with him, but not in the way Miles had probably meant it. Rather than taking it the way Miles meant, he used it as a means to keep himself in check, a form of prevention from him crossing the line. He knew if he did, neither of you would be able to go back. It would be impossible and was one fuck up worth a decades-long friendship?
So friends were where you stayed until he added another facet--professional. Years passed, dates passed, flings, non-labeled encounters on both your parts passed and through it all your friendship remained, and nothing changed. Except today there was even more extra stuff.
The feel of Julissa’s lips wrapped around his balls sent his hips jerking upward as a curse left his lips. Julissa moaned and giggled.
“Daddy likes that?”
He knew how he would like it more. As quickly as he revved to that thought he steered away from it. That was when his phone sounded.
MSG Y/N: I’m home. Whatdaya you wanna do? Should I change?
His eye caught the time. 1am. Almost 3 hours from your last text and you were only now getting home. Clenching his jaw he took a deep breath. He had no right to be mad or annoyed right now. He knew where this was coming from. You’d been on a date, and you said it was going well. A date going well had a chance of making it upstairs. He closed his eyes squeezing them tightly. He hoped to God that you hadn’t just gotten it in.
MSG Y/N: Hello?
MSG: You don’t have to change. How about some treats and a view?
MSG Y/N: Okay. Still 10?
MSG: Make it 15.
Pulling himself up he reached down to stop Julissa. She looked confused.
“I gotta go J.”
Now she looked even more confused. He didn’t owe her an explanation, that’s not how this worked between them.
“With your dick out?”
He scoffed then fixed himself as he stood.
“Lewis this’s never happened before. Are--,” she began before he cut her off.
“All good, just—not in the mood I guess.”
She looked offended now. “I’m sorry J. We’ll talk.”
He walked to the door then left her apartment without a glance back. He didn’t feel any way about it because both of them knew what their relationship was and wasn’t. She’d agreed. Once he was in his car, he zipped through the London streets maneuvering the quickest route to your place. Thanks to the time it was an easy drive with minimal traffic. 15 minutes on the dot he swerved around to the front of your luxury condo building then sent you a text letting you know he was there.
A few minutes later, he peeped you from the corner of his eye. You walked off the elevator in a short and tight black dress, impossibly high strappy black heels, and a flowy robe-like jacket that danced behind you as you walked.
“Fuck.”
You were beautiful. Just then the thought that you’d gone on a date dressed like this rubbed him wrong. Some other man had seen this view, a view you gave willingly. Clenching his jaw, he looked through his windshield as he tried to push all those thoughts—all that other stuff to the side as he’d done countless times before. He looked back just in time to see you open the door of his car then climb in. His eyes dropped to your legs but seconds later he corrected that.
“Hi!”
Your smile was bright as if you really were as happy to see him as your voice indicated.
“Hey.”
You reached over and pressed your cheek to his for a bougie kiss. The only thing he could think was that you smelled like a treat all by yourself.
“How are you?”
“Good. You?”
“Good. Wow, what’s it been? 2 months?”
He shrugged as he shifted gears and took off. “Something like that.”
“Mercedes sure knows how to keep you busy,” you teased.
He tried to focus on the road but from his peripheral, he could see you crossing your legs displaying even more skin.
“What were you doing? You smell like fruits.”
He chastised himself because he hadn’t done a bit of cleaning up before he came. His only thought was you. Julissa’s fruity lip gloss still stained his dick that he couldn’t manage to get hard for her.
“Nowhere special. Just kickin’ it.”
You didn’t press further which said you knew just what he was doing. He clenched his jaw again, this time annoyed with himself. As he drove to the dessert place you told him about what was going on in your life while he shared some bits of his with you. Like always conversation flowed like a calm river. It was something he loved. It didn’t take long for him to pull up to the drive-thru of the vegan dessert shop. When it was his turn at the window he tipped his hat lower and left the ordering to you.
You ordered damn near everything on the menu. You didn’t care if it was cake, cupcake, ice cream, brownie, or whipped cream. You ordered at least 2 of everything. It took the staff a good 5 minutes to prepare it all and when he loaded them in the backseat it was completely filled. When he looked at you with an “are you serious right now” look, all you did was giggle. Fuck, he thought. There went all that extra stuff again.
“There is no way we can finish all this,” he said looking at the bags they’d moved to the front since parking at their destination.
“Speak for yourself. I always have room for sugar, sugar.”
He snorted then shook his head. “Mad whack.”
Your jaw dropped as you gaped at him, and you looked too fucking adorable. You sifted through the bags until you found the dessert you wanted—the vanilla bean cheesecake. Your eyes lit up as you gawked at the large slice that was topped with white chocolate shavings. “It's so pretty,” you gushed.
He watched you snap picture after picture of the treat before you took your first forkful. When you did, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a completely indulgent, hearty, and dick-hardening moan. The fuck, he thought as his dick spasmed to life. Quickly he moved one of the bags to his lap and looked out the window.
“This is so good,” you obliviously said still munching on cake.
He pulled out the vegan chocolate truffle cake and took a bite. It too was good.
“That looks good. Is it?”
“Try it,” he said holding out a forkful to your mouth.
You paused for a split second then cut off a piece of your cheesecake before you held your fork to his mouth.
“You try too.”
The image that came to mind was that of a new husband and wife feeding each other wedding cake and with it, his throat went dry. He knew if he tried to speak he’d sound like a pre-pubescent boy, so he wrapped his lips around your fork taking the piece of cake then fed you his. Your eyes lingered on one another for a few moments nut when you moaned again his dick spasmed again. with that he turned his head so fast that he was surprised he hadn’t snapped his own neck in the process.
“So good,” you repeated.
The two of you sat there commenting on the desserts you went through in record time. He didn’t indulge in sweets often but when he did he found it was usually with your sugar-addicted ass. You said there were 4 things in life you would never give up, sugar, your favorite perfume, your favorite underwear set, and sex. He believed you on all points. When there were only a few pieces of cake left the silence in the car stretched.
“So—a date huh.”
“A date.”
“I thought you gave up dating.”
You took a deep breath then slowly released it before turning your body at an angle facing him. The hem of your dress hiked a little higher and he forced himself to look away.
“I did. Then I got bored and he asked.”
“What does he do?”
You didn’t answer automatically, instead, you took another forkful or 2 of cake, then you spoke.
“He’s an attorney.”
“I thought you didn’t date attorneys.”
“I don’t but me and the girls were talking, and it clicked that by x-ing out a whole career field greatly decreased me finding someone who could stick around.”
He paused. Stick around? This was new.
“Stick around? Are you—are you looking for something—serious?”
You took a beat then shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought the other day, I have everything I have ever wanted. I am on this partner track, I make very high 6 figures, I have a great condo, my mental health is amazing, I have no debt, no baby daddies or drama, I—I’m kinda a catch but I go to sleep alone 98% of my nights. I come home to an empty place, I have no meaningful text exchanges, there is—nothing fulfilling in my life. I began to wonder if it was time to change all of that last bit.”
Silence stretched again as he thought over your words while studying you. This was the first time he’d heard you speak like this. Usually, you changed the subject or downplayed having any other thoughts than fun, sex, and work. Now hearing the vulnerability in your voice he knew you’d come to a point where all of this, intention-free dating, pastime sex, stress-busting flirting and all the meaningless interactions were unfulfilling and empty. You wanted more, you wanted love, a life, a husband, kids, vacation homes, and retirement funds, you wanted the quintessential definition of it all. He also noted you now found everything he was currently partaking in meaningless and unfulfilling.
Dropping his head, he stabbed the cake still in his hands. The more puncture holes it picked up the less and less he wanted it.
“Fuck, maybe I’m just bored and need a really, really, good fuck.”
He snorted but it was humorless.
“Don’t downplay what you feel, Y/N. Don’t—make what you feel insignificant, so you feel less vulnerable. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s you and me here.”
“It’s just—you—I know those are things you don’t necessarily want and you’re happy with the--.”
“Who said I don’t want those things?”
His tone was sharp and defensive though he hadn’t meant for it to be.
“Uh—you did.”
“No. I said it’s not something I can afford right now with my schedule and my contract extension. I didn’t say I never wanted it.”
You looked away from him to out the window. “Yeah, but your actions say a lot different,” you mumble.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Y/N, look at me. What does that mean?”
You sat quietly for a few moments then just when he was about to ask again you blurted.
“There is a difference between I don’t want it now and I don’t want it ever. Someone who wants it someday would leave themselves open to it rather than boxing every interaction they have into--other things.”
“What if I don’t want to open myself to it?”
“That’s clear Lew.”
“No. You don’t get it. What if I don’t want to open myself to it because I don’t want to find the perfect thing—the perfect woman and then be fucked because it’s too soon and too hard to keep her in my world to wait until I can make those commitments because my world is fucked—I’m fucked because I want the world and will actually keep going until I get it anyone else be damned.”
He could feel your eyes on him, and it was his turn to feel vulnerable and exposed.
“You think because you put everyone in one box it stops what’s meant to be from—being?”
He glanced at you with a pained expression, he knew it. He was actually feeling pain.
“Also—you’re not fucked because you want the world. I want the fucking world. Am I fucked?”
“To be determined.”
You both busted out laughing then. You laughed for a good minute then smiled as it tapered off.
“Aren’t you the tiniest bit lonely in the other side of your life—away from F1?”
He didn’t need to think about that. He knew the answer, but he didn’t want to tell you. The facts were that he was lonely more times than not. That was when he called someone to come distract him or make him feel good. He’d become an expert in the art of distraction. In his life, he only had time and the capacity for low stress and no mess. He had enough of both already.
He felt your hand creep into his and squeeze gently. Suddenly, there was all this other stuff again. The feel of your smaller hand in his larger one was something he really liked. Usually, when either of you took the other’s hand it was in passing or for a second, but the moment lingered and stretched, and still you kept your hand in his swirling your fingers against his palm and other fingers. He liked this too much.
“You can tell me. I won’t judge you. In fact—I’m lonely.”
His eyes slipped to you. Your head was down staring at your hands. It had now moved to trace the tattoos on his hand with the point of your nail as if his flesh were an adult coloring book. He watched you trace the rose on his pinky, then the planets on his ring finger. When you got to the lined arrow down his middle, he was having trouble swallowing again. Slowly, you traced the spaceship then went up across the sword until you reached his wrist.
He didn’t know if there was rhyme or reason to your movements or if you were just absently doing it. Goosebumps peppered his skin when you went up his forearm. He looked at you just before your eyes met his.
“You are?”
You nodded. “I am,” you whispered.
The air was on but inside the car easily felt like a sweltering 99 degrees. He didn’t know if it was from your touch or if it was the shift in the air between you. Did you notice it too?
“I think it’s okay to be lonely especially looking at how we live. We’re always working, always pushing ourselves to and through glass ceilings and when we do there is no one really there to share it with, not really, not in the way that fulfills,” you said.
Your face was closer to his now. Had he moved closer or was it you? Your eyes met again, and the temperature kicked up again. Fuck, he thought as his dick recklessly spasmed, begging for attention.
“I’m never lonely with you,” he said before his brain could stop his mouth.
A small smile lit your face, “Me too. Never with you.”
The smile slipped. “Well—not always.”
He turned to you more now, curiosity filling him. “What do you mean?”
You stayed quiet for a few moments but kept tracing his skin with your nail.
“There are times I can’t—guess what you’re thinking. Times I can’t—figure you out.”
“Then ask me.”
“Would you really tell me?”
He leaned closer. “I’d tell you anything.”
You searched his eyes, but you didn’t move back.
“Anything?”
He nodded slowly. His head felt hazy like you had him under some sort of spell with nothing more than your presence and the tip of your finger and all he truly wanted was to touch you in return. So he did. Reaching across to your exposed knee, he circled his finger around the smooth skin there. You sucked in a breath the moment his finger touched you and that one action nearly had him pulling you across the partition right onto his lap. Nearly.
So there on a hill that overlooked London, in his car, sitting near enough to a lone road light, you trailed your finger across his forearm while he did the same to your knee. The low light that illuminated the car bathed your skin in amber making him feel like you were on a whole different plane of existence rather than this real proven and tangible one. Your eyes held him in place to the point where he felt like he couldn’t move though he wanted to.
Without even realizing it you were mere inches from him. In fact, you were so close he could make out the hidden colors in your eyes, so close he could smell the fragrance on your skin that went deeper than perfume. This was your essence and by God he was intoxicated. Unable to stop himself, he inched his hand higher gripping your inner thigh. A soft moan fell from your lips and that was all it took for him to press his forehead to yours like the sound was tethered to his very core.
“Y/N,” he groaned.
The sheer might it was taking to keep himself restrained was becoming too much. At this point, it wouldn’t take much for him to abandon those restraints and give in.
“Lewis,” you whispered.
Your voice was raspy and dripping with what he dared label as desire. Fuck, he thought as he squeezed your thigh. He was so close, mere inches and it wouldn’t take much to close the gap between his fingers and your core but still, he fought himself. He was so wrapped up in his own battle for control within himself that he didn’t even realize when your hand rested on his upper thigh. You were dangerously close to kicking the lid off the box of other stuff that he’d worked years to keep shut. Half of him silently begged for you to keep going and kick it off so everything would be out in the open and it would be do or die but the other half of him hesitated still. The unknown was a powerful and sobering drug.
Your hand inched higher, then closer to what was the rock-hard physical evidence that deep down, now closer to the surface than ever before, he felt more, wanted more than what was. He wanted more than he could possibly afford. Still, his hand persisted, it inched higher making your hips jerk forward. The knowledge that he’d hit a sensitive spot sent his system into overdrive making a deep moan from his lips fill the car.
On cue in response, your legs opened a few inches more, making way for his hand. Jesus Christ he thought. There was his consent, you wanted him as he wanted you. There would be nothing wrong with him slipping his fingers underneath whatever underwear you wore. Fuck, he hoped they were lacy and strappy. There would be nothing wrong with him letting your hand slide to the aching dick straining against his pants begging for your attention. Shit, he bet your hands would feel incredible wrapped around him. There would be nothing wrong with him moving closer and finally claiming your lips as his. Damn, he just knew they were as sweet as they looked, that they felt amazing. There would be nothing wrong with him pulling your body against his for more than a clothed hug. There would be nothing wrong with him cupping your breasts and swirling his thumb across your nipple just to see the reaction it elicited. God damn it, he knew your moans would destroy him. There would be nothing wrong with him finally learning what you tasted like, nothing wrong with him finally smearing your wetness across his lips. Holy fuck, he knew you had to taste like pure sugar and cream.
His cock spasmed again then your hand made the move for him. In the same breath with his eyes squeezed tight, he lurched for your hand, gripping you by your wrist stopping you just before you touched him. As he did that his jaw clenched, the only thing he could do to stifle the moan at the tip of his tongue. It came out as a half groan and growl instead. The strangled whine that left you said you liked it, and he knew he had to end this here. It took him some time to find the smallest bit of control to open his eyes, but he didn’t possess enough control to look at you. There was no way he could.
“I’ll take you home,” he said, voice low and so close to a whisper.
He tried to keep the longing, regret, and hope from it. Slowly he removed his hand from your thigh hoping with everything in him that you grabbed it and nudged it higher. You didn’t though, so he turned forward readying himself to drive. You didn’t move for several long moments; you remained there half facing him with your thighs still tempting him to go back and take things further. With his hands on the steering wheel, he trained his eyes forward. He could feel all the antsy energy bouncing off every cell of his body, he could feel all the need in him wreaking havoc on him telling him to stop being a pussy and do what he really wanted to, say what he wanted to, take what he wanted.
His hands squeezed so tightly that the creaking of the leather echoed in the intense silence in the car. Just when he was about to say fuck it, you turned away from him. You softly cleared your throat then buckled yourself in. Sighing, he pushed started the ignition then swerved out of the parked spot they were in taking the route back to the city. As he drove you didn’t speak, you didn’t even move. You kept your head turned away from him looking out the passenger window with your legs crossed away from him. Your body language sent a completely different message now. Before you were open and so close to him. Now, you were so far he wondered if he’d turned Miles’ words into truths.
~~~~~
-Y/N- 8 Months Later-
The loud ‘pop’ of a champagne cork echoed just behind you making you spin in that direction. A group was just behind you laughing and toasting to something you guessed was momentous. You sighed then turned back to the painting you were currently studying. The abstract lines and swoops looked so similar to the slopes of a body. The longer you stared at it the more it felt like an erotic image than some random lines and swirls. There was something about it that stirred something in you, something that you’d ignored and buried so deep, something you hadn’t felt for 8 months.
You drained your champagne glass then squeezed your eyes shut. It had been a long 8 months. You’d worked your ass off times ten taking on more and more clients than before. You brought on 12 celebrity clients and 4 major corporate ones which brought Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw to the top of the field in revenue. You brought in so much money that you’d gotten 7 poaching offers from firms in different parts of the country.
Thanks to those offers that you hadn’t necessarily kept confidential, the interest in you for partner rose to unbeatable levels. Anyone you were competing against for the position paled in comparison. Those 8 months of ass-busting work led to your name being signed on the paperwork titling you as the new partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw. It was so much of a done deal that your bank account proudly embraced your new status.
With that new status came an increase in the events you had to make an appearance at as thee number 1 entertainment and criminal attorney in London. Your calendar quickly filled with meetings, speeches, appearances, court appearances, dinners, and more. You were so booked that the next time you had any schedule free time was 6 months away. You’d catapulted so far out of your original tax bracket that you’d shattered the glass ceiling that tried to confine you and now you wondered if you’d aimed too high.
“Looks like I’m right on time.”
You looked to your right and found Darius holding another glass of champagne for you. Smiling, you took it.
“That you are, thank you.”
“Of course. To you, the youngest and newest partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw and in the greater London area.”
You smiled as the man who’d stuck around through your insane schedule, your hot and cold behavior, your pull you close one minute, push you away the next, your disappearing acts, your reluctance to place a label on your interactions, your give me sex then get gone rule, and more for the last 8 months.
“Thank you, Darius,” you said leaning toward him and pressing your lips against his.
Darius moaned and reciprocated the kiss, snaking his hand around your waist and pulling you close. You felt like you were thanking him for much more than the toast and the fresh glass of champagne. You felt like you were thanking him for taking your bare minimum and it made you feel like shit.
Darius pressed his forehead to yours and instantly you had a flash back to the last man who’d done that to you. In a split second, your heart rate spiked, and an intense feeling gripped you.
“You don’t have to thank me, love.”
Your reaction to the action ricocheted through you making you pull away from Darius. Turning back to the painting, you gulped down the champagne.
“It’s crazy that your firm has so many celebrity clients and that this many are here to welcome you as partner,” Darius said in hushed tones.
“It is crazy.”
All night you’d been rubbing elbows with actors, musicians, models, athletes, and more. All of them congratulated you on your promotion and wished you greater success in the future. It was touching but a little bit overwhelming. You couldn’t let on though, so for the entire night you’d been performing, and you were nearing the limits of your stamina for it. You’d been performing for the last 8 months. Shit, you’d even been performing with Darius. You’d been performing ever since you were dropped off in those early morning hours those 8 months ago.
“Y/N,”
To your left, your paralegal now turned assistant, Kemi touched your elbow drawing your attention to her.
“Hey, girl.”
“Hey, you look incredible,” she said.
“Stop saying that please, you’re gonna blow my head up so big I just might start thinking I deserve a higher position.”
She giggled but gave you a look that said “well ya’ do.”
“The big wigs are asking for you, although you’re now one of them so--.”
You snorted while rolling your eyes. “Then doesn’t that make you the big wig assistant?”
She posed then making you laugh.
“I’ll be right back,” you said to Darius as you walked off to find those big wigs.
It didn’t take long before you found them surrounded by a group of about 10 people. When they saw you they waved you over with large smiles on their faces. You took a deep breath and approached them with an equally large smile.
“There she is ladies and gentlemen!”
The group smiled, patted your back, and welcomed you with friendly banter.
“Everyone!”
The music died down and someone handed Malcolm Boyd a microphone. He was your biggest fan, a black man who’d made unfathomable feats in the field and became an incredible mentor and second father to you. He put his arm around your shoulder as he always did.
“I am filled with great happiness and pride calling this woman the new partner here at Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw!”
Everyone began applauding then, drowning out his next words so he paused and allowed them a few moments before continuing.
“She has been with us for 6 years now and in those 6 years she has accomplished incredible things and when she was done with those incredible things she moved on to outstanding things. Y/N has reminded many of us of what it means to be determined and persistent. She tackles every case with poise, confidence, and grace and that confidence has given her that 99% win record.”
Again everyone clapped. You softly smiled at them half embarrassed by the praise but half so damn proud of yourself and happy that your accomplishments were being recognized.
“Just as Malcome said, “Patrick Halsey began placing his hand on Malcom’s shoulder, “Y/N more than deserves this promotion and I expect her to blow all of our minds in the coming months and years. We just might have to add another name to the plague.”
Many in the audience hollered and hooted at that and you couldn’t lie that the greedy ambition within you salivated at that possibility. You still wanted more. You exchanged a look with Malcome who gave you an all-knowing look. You just found your next accomplishment. The founding partners took turns praising you and giving reasons why you’d earned this promotion then raised their glasses to you for the ultimate toast of congratulations. You humbly thanked them and gave a quick appreciative speech before lifting your glass to the audience.
As you drank down the tart liquid, your eye caught sight of a figure you hadn’t seen in person for almost 2 months—Lewis. He stood at the back in a black suit that clearly was made for him. His braids were pulled back in the way he liked when he was tackling more professional events. He looked as good as ever. He lifted his glass of water to you and in response you gave him a tight smile.
The same thing happened that always happened when you met one another ever since that night. Your body went through this strange cycle of reaction, excitement, confusion, hurt, anger, annoyance, and disappointment. It was exhausting. Because of these feelings, you regretted that night. You regretted allowing your thoughts to go so astray that you opened up your ‘what if’ box. You regretted every whisper, every lean in, every almost touch, every lingering look, everything. You even regretted getting out of his car when he pulled up to your condo instead of pulling him by his hair to you and telling him to go upstairs with you. you didn’t know what you regretted more.
The worst part was that you had to continue on like always. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem because that night was not the first night there had been many ‘what if’ nights over your decade-long friendship. The common factor was that both of you moved on and slinked back into the basics of your relationship—comfort and friendship. This time is difficult, so difficult you contemplated passing his case off to another attorney. If it hadn’t been for Malcome talking you out of it he would have been someone else’s responsibility. Instead, you put on your big girl panties and a mask and did something you never thought you’d ever do with him—performed.
When the crowd thinned out and everyone returned to what they were doing you began making your way back to Darius in the opposite direction. You were ready to leave. Before you got far Lewis stepped in front of you stopping you in your tracks.
“Congratulations, Y/N.”
Smiling, you thanked him.
“You look--,” his words stalled as his eyes roamed your body. You noted the conflicted look on his face before it disappeared. “Incredible,” Lewis finished.
His compliment made your body warm and something like hope filled you. Chastising yourself you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you. You look nice too.”
Lewis scoffed softly then nodded. You then tried to slip by him, however, Lewis wasn’t having it. Again, he stepped in front of you.
“In a rush to get away from me?”
“Why would you say that? Have you done anything to me for me to want that?”
Silence stretched and Lewis studied you his jaw clenched tightly. Instead of speaking, he looked down, an act of defeat.
“Can we talk, Y/N?”
“We’re talking right now.”
He gave you an unamused look, but you kept your nonchalant, innocent one. Unexpectedly Miles approached then.
“There she is--partner lady. Congratulations Y/N.”
You smiled then hugged Miles. “Thank you!”
“This is incredible news, Y/N. So happy for you.”
“I appreciate that. Thank you for coming,” you replied.
“You know me, always this fool’s plus one.”
You smiled then the silence returned for a few seconds before Lewis spoke again.
“Maybe we can go somewhere—quiet after this?”
“Unfortunately I don’t think I can.”
“Why?”
Just then Darius approached and wrapped his arm around your waist resting his hand on your hip. You watched Lewis’ eyes drop to that hand and continued to watch as his jaw turned tight as if it filled with cement.
“Oh wow. Lewis Hamilton,” Darius said turning to you, his voice awestricken. “Babe it’s Lewis Hamilton.”
You nodded as a soft smile played on your lips. “Let me introduce you. Darius, this is one of my clients, Lewis Hamilton, and his best friend Miles Chamley-Watson fencing champion and Olympian. Miles, Lewis this is my—.”
You hesitated and in the same second, you felt Darius’ eyes on you filled with hope. Two other pairs of eyes were on you--one giving complete double eyeball emoji and the other searing you almost daring you to continue. The longer you didn’t speak, you watched Darius’ hope turn to disappointment. Glancing back at Lewis you found his eyebrow up with a curious and confrontational look while Miles was the epitome of if ‘well this is awkward’ was a person.
“This is Darius Forrester.”
You felt even more like shit now. Darius shook Lewis’ hand first then Miles’. While he did Lewis looked him over sizing him up. You knew he was wondering if he was the same man from those months ago when you’d told him you were on a date.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m a fan,” Darius said to Lewis.
“Thank you. I appreciate that. I can sign something for you if you want.”
You rolled your eyes at his underhanded jab while a half chortle escaped Miles. Darius on the other hand leapt at the opportunity, handing Lewis the only thing he had, an art bidding ballot. Lewis signed the back but kept his eyes on Darius’ hand on your hip.
“Bidding on some art tonight?”
“I am. There is a piece this gorgeous angel has been staring at all night, it’ll be my gift to her for her promotion,” Darius explained rubbing your hip.
You smiled at him then kissed his cheek. Lewis now looked entertained while Miles’ eyes widened as he finished the drink in his hand.
“Ehm, anyway. So I’m sorry I can’t pencil you in tonight but if you call Kemi and make an appointment she’ll get you on the calendar for a different day for that talk,” you said.
“Plans tonight,” Miles guessed looking between you and Darius.
“Absolutely. I’ve had way too much to drink and plan on taking advantage of that.”
You leaned closer to Darius kicking up your performance another notch. Lewis smirked but also clenched his jaw to that. Miles whistled while nodding his head.
“Go on then Ms. Partner, fly by the seat of your panties or no panties,” Miles teased making you and Darius chuckle while Lewis gave him an unamused look.
“Well, enjoy your evening gentlemen. Thank you again for coming by,” you said before you made a move to walk off with Darius.
As you walked away you placed your hand over Darius’ and slyly slipped it lower to rest on your ass. You knew Lewis was watching and decided to deliver the last blow. Was it petty? Yes. Was it fair to Daius? Not at all.
The next hour or so passed with you roaming around the gallery looking at the art while Darius flirted with you. As you roamed, no matter where you went you saw Lewis from the corner of your eye and no matter how much space was between you, your skin reacted as if Darius’ touch was his. The more you felt that way the reality that Darius’ touch was in fact all his own annoyed you making you feel even worse. You knew what needed to be done and knew it had to be done soon.
The only way you could distract yourself was with glass after glass of champagne. As you emerged from one of your countless trips to the bathroom you bumped into Miles.
“Funny bumping into you here.”
You smiled warmly, “Still here? I thought you and Lewis left hours ago.”
“You knew we were still here,” he accused.
You tried to give an affronted look but failed. He was right. Sighing, your act fell for the first time that night.
“Wow. Feels good to not perform huh.”
You looked at Miles and wondered just how much he knew. He didn’t keep you in suspense long.
“What a twisted web we weave when we practice to deceive.” He scoffed, shook his head then continued, look, I am going to tell you the same thing I told Lewis.”
You perked up then but tried to play it off.
“You better stop playing before somebody gets hurt and by the looks of it, it’s gonna be your homeboy Darius if not all three of you.”
You took in his words then put your mask back in place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah you do, just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”
Your curiosity peaked then. “What are you talking about Miles? What do you think you know?”
He scoffed. “I’m a straightforward kinda guy so I’ll say I know everything. As the neutral 3rd party who is both on the outside looking in and the inside watching this train wreck, I know everything. I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”
Your eyes lingered and the longer they did the more you got his meaning. Glancing away you tried to pretend like his words meant nothing, but you knew you were failing.
“I get it, I really do; 10 years is a long time to put at risk but are you really putting it at risk knowing all you know? You have 10 years of proof. Man up.”
Miles leaned in, kissed your cheek, and whispered, “Let homeboy go so he can find someone who really loves him, someone who can love him. Your corner is full.”
With that, he walked away leaving you speechless and confused. Your corner was full? You had no idea whatsoever what that meant, and you were tempted to follow Miles and get some clarification, but you decided against it remembering the last time you chased down the rabbit hole. When you found Darius again his expression was somber when he told you that the painting he’d been bidding on was outbid and that he didn’t have it to gift you. After assuring him you were fine, you decided you were more than ready to leave.
Darius got the car as you waited outside allowing the cold air to cool your skin. You didn’t care that you were risking illness because it served as a needed distraction. When you felt a fabric drape over your shoulders you bristled at first but then Lewis’ scent circled you and your body relaxed. Even that annoyed you.
“I don’t need this. Darius will be back soon anyway.”
Lewis snorted. “8 months, is that a record?”
“I think it’s a record for you, but I’ve gone longer.”
He scoffed then shook his head. “No doubt, remember Y/N. I will be here long after you get bored with them all. I’m always here.”
Your eyes locked and his should have been radiating cockiness that matched his words, but instead, they were gentle, open, and vulnerable.
“Will you?”
There was no time to reply because a car horn blared drawing your attention. Darius waved at you as he got out of the car to walk around to the passenger side.
“Good night Lewis.”
You walked away from him then slipped into the passenger side. As you waited for Darius to get in and drive off, you stared at Lewis who hadn’t budged from the curb where you left him. Miles’ words echoed back to you then.
“Just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”
“You have 10 years of proof.”
“Your corner is full.”
The word ‘full’ echoed over and over as Darius pulled off. Bullshit, you said to yourself in disbelief.
When Darius pulled up to your condo you sat there marinating in all your thoughts throughout the nearly thirty-minute drive. It wasn’t until you felt Darius’ hand on your exposed knee did you realize he was still there.
“Are you okay? Want me to come up?”
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “We need to talk Darius.”
When you looked at him his expression said he knew just what you were about to say. Being as gentle as you could, you ended things. Although the old “it’s not you it’s me” line fit the situation perfectly. You dug a little deeper and gave him and heartfelt reason without revealing you were and had been in love with your best friend for 10 years and didn’t realize it until his feelings were already on the line. When you finished, Darius remained the good guy he was and told you he understood and that he’d expected this sooner or later. You thanked him for being good to you then began making your way to the elevators.
Halfway there you dug into the pocket of the jacket you wore and froze. When you took your hand out you held a note with your name sprawled on the front in Lewis’ handwriting.
-Y/N-
I’ve thought for months about what to say to you because there is so much to say, so much that has gone unsaid for so long that I don’t know where to start—how to start. 10 years is a long time especially when neither of us has been 100% honest with the other. I want to end that. Please.
-Lewis
You read then reread the note over and over hoping you would know what to do next but no matter how many times you did, you had nothing. So you walked back and forth in the lobby. When your phone sounded, you found a message from Lewis.
MSG Lewis: Ball’s in your court. I’m outside your building.
You froze then slowly turned and saw his car. It had been months since you’d been in a car with him and the thought of doing it again freaked you out a little. Your eyes met at that moment, but he didn’t move. He was giving you the time to decide for yourself. You turned your back to him then walked to the elevators but stopped halfway. After a few moments, you turned back around and walked to the doors only to stop halfway again and repeat the whole cycle. Still, Lewis didn’t budge. He just watched as your internal debate played out physically.
After ten minutes you stooped down and put your down, completely exhausted by your indecisiveness. Taking a deep breath, you held it and allowed your lungs to adjust. It was an action you often did to help you think and calm down. As your oxygen levels decreased your heartbeat would slow and as it did, there was always one particular beat where you figured it all out. It usually came right in the nick of time.
So you allowed your heartbeat to slow and though you should have panicked you didn’t. You thought clearer than you’d ever thought before.
“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”
Miles’ words came back to you again and it was then you gasped filling your lungs with air. After a few breaths, you stood then turned to the doors. It worked all the time. With your head high and back straight you walked toward them then climbed inside Lewis’ car. Without a word, he pulled off then turned back onto the streets.
~~~~~~
Thirty minutes later you walked into a penthouse suite right behind Lewis.
“Why here?”
“Thought neutral ground would make you more comfortable.”
You scoffed and beelined right to the bar, tossing his suit jacket over the back of one of the bar stools. As you mixed yourself a drink you tried not to focus on him, but you did. No matter where he went you knew. You were hypersensitive to him at this point. You’d only meant to make a glass but ended up making a whole shaker cup. You kicked off your heels, climbed onto the bar stool then plopped yourself on the countertop. Once comfortable you crossed your legs and sipped your drink.
“Where’s Darius?”
“Not here obviously.”
“You and I are so alike it’s insane,” he said as he approached you, but he didn’t come close. He stopped at the sectional couches in the middle of the large living area and then sat.
The silence in the room was thick for such a long time you began thinking about leaving altogether.
“Congratulations again. I’m so fucking proud of you. You saw something you wanted and didn’t stop until you got it. You deserve this.”
Your stomach flipped hearing his praise. More than anyone he knew what you’d gone through to get here. It touched you. Looking away from him, you cleared your throat. “Thanks.”
His eyes remained on you as if daring you to look back at him. It was a dare you had to accept. Your eyes locked and you instantly felt it. There was so much to say. Just behind him, you saw something familiar. Squinting, you made out the painting you’d been staring at all night, the painting Darius wanted to bid on for you. It clicked then, the reason why Darius couldn’t win it was because Lewis claimed it first. You scoffed, the man was competitive and dominant to a fault. You couldn’t help but be touched by the gesture though.
Lewis sighed bringing your eyes back to him, “I don’t even know where to start,” groaned, rubbed his eyes then spoke again. “Maybe I’m sorry is a good place.”
You studied him for a few moments then took a mouthful of your drink. “For what?”
“You know for what.”
That night.
Those words hung in the air, and you did your best to remain aloof. Scoffing, you shook your head. “It’s all good Lewis.”
“You’re lying and you know it. I thought attorneys believed in the truth.”
“Who are you to tell me what my truth is?!”
You hadn’t meant to shout it, but you did.
“Because more times than not our truths match up and I am sure that what happened was not all good to you because it wasn’t to me.”
“And what exactly wasn’t all good to you?”
“The way we—I left things,” he quietly said.
You waited for him to continue because there was no way in hell you were going to make this easy for him. He wanted to talk so he’d talk. Lewis shook his head then hung it backward. He sat there staring into the ceiling for almost a full minute before he looked back at you.
“I just—flipped when we were—you were—you wanted--,” he stuttered.
You scoffed again, “Don’t flatter yourself, Lewis,” you said slipping into the barstool and spinning it around so your back faced him.
“What?”
“You and I both know that none of that meant anything to you. It’s all good.”
“Now who’s telling who what their truth is?”
You didn’t take the bait, instead, you kept your back to him and finished your glass.
“You forget, I know you, Lewis. 10 years of friendship and I know you so well that it was my own damn fault that night.”
“Whatdaya know?”
After refilling your glass you turned back around then hopped off the stool and walked toward the large floor-to-ceiling window. “I know that that you were with one of your rotation chicks before you came to pick me up. I smelled her on you. That fruity aroma was all her. I know that because of that tidbit of info, none of it meant anything.”
Leaning against the window you stared down at the view of London. Lights glistened down below, and you imagined everyone scurrying to where they had to go so wrapped up in their own thoughts or existence to even suspect that it all was fleeting.
“Okay, I’ll own that bit. Yeah, I was with one of them but that was only after I found out you were on a date.”
“So it’s my fault. I was on a date living my life, so you decided to get your dick wet. Okay.”
You took another sip from your glass not liking the direction of this little talk he wanted to have.
“I never said it was your fault. It’s just a fact. I texted you because I wanted to see you, wanted to spend time with you and you were spending time with someone else, someone you probably did God knows what with hours before you saw me.”
And with that, you were done here. Finishing the glass you turned and walked to the door.
“Good night Lewis.”
He scurried in front of you blocking your path. “Wait, please. Shit! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Two sorries in the span of twenty minutes, cool. Get out of my way.”
“No, Y/N, please wait.”
You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I’m sick and tired of waiting. I’ve waited 10 years!”
“You’ve waited? I’ve—.”
Lewis threw his hands up then walked away grunting and talking to himself. He looked insane and it kind of made you pleased seeing it. He always appeared so in control, so aware of himself and his actions at all times. It had all gone to shit now. You stood there debating if you should just leave and let things remain how they were until the day you both just stopped talking and checking in and it ended up going on for another 10 years until you were just people who used to know one another, people who’d missed out on something. It was then you realized you weren’t wearing shoes.
“Shit,” you whispered.
“I wanted you that night. I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anyone, including anyone in the rotation. Do you know what I was doing while you were on your date?”
“Getting your dick wet. I know.”
“I was lying on Julissa’s bed as she gave me head.”
You scoffed, “Of course you were.”
“She’d been going for 40 minutes and still I was barely hard. No matter what she did, no matter the tricks, no matter how nice it felt, barely hard. I was lying on her bed with my dick in her mouth thinking about you on your fucking date.”
You looked at him then. Those were words you hadn’t expected.
“My mind went crazy thinking what was happening. The longer that went by without you texting me the thoughts killed me. As soon as I got your message I left. No other thought, just you. I prayed to God that the date didn’t go well enough for you to let him upstairs. Then I saw what you were wearing, and I couldn’t believe I was jealous. I was jealous.”
“Why?”
Lewis looked at you then. “Because he got to see you like that. You’d dressed up for him, wanted to turn him on with that outfit. He’d spent the entire night with you. He’d had what I wanted.”
Well shit, you thought before walking back to the bar. Rather than making another drink, you took up a bottle of champagne and brought it to your lips.
“Do you know what it feels like to want someone so bad that it fucks with you and everything you do? To want someone more than you’ve wanted anything. To want someone in a way that is new to you, so new that it scares you. Do you know what it feels to have this crippling fear every time that someone is in your grasp, but not being able to resist the temptation, the desire to make them yours? Do you know what it feels like to know that you only burn this bright, this hot, this dangerous with one person, and the burn is all-consuming?”
He looked almost hysterical now. “Do you know what it feels like to want the perfect someone for you? I’m talking molded for you in every way while knowing it’s not the right time for you because you both want too much from the world and because you know that because you burn so hot, so bright that you’ll burn each other if either of you ever let go and let it happen? To know you are so similar that you will either destroy each other or ruin one another for anyone else.”
The look on his face was so damn relatable. He’d just said everything you’d thought over the last 10 years. Everything.
“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me.”
He was practically ranting now. Spewing every single thing that he’d ever thought, confessing it all.
“So because of all that you try to keep up pretenses that you’re friends and nothing more though you have countless moments where you slip up and stare at them too long, or hold them in your arms from a hug for half a minute too long, or let your hand linger in theirs or around their waist to test boundaries because you just can’t not touch them, or even find reasons to do every single thing together. You take those 2 steps forward not realizing you do because the pull is too strong, then you freak out and leap back 5 steps. You do this for weeks, months, years until 10 of them have passed and you have this huge box you’d filled with all the other stuff between you that you can’t express or fess up to until that box just gets stirred by one action, one moment--one night.”
His eyes were locked on yours. Somehow he’d traveled across the room to the bar and was standing right in front of you. Somehow he’d locked you in the frame of his arms leaving you nowhere to run. Somehow he’d managed to inflate your chest with hope right beside your thundering heart.
“Then suddenly—everything has changed, and nothing can be the same ever again,” he finished, his voice a whisper in the completely silent room.
You watched his eyes lower to your lips and your gut flipped again.
“Do you know what any of that feels like, Y/N?”
There were only mere inches between you now and the sheer proximity of his body to yours made you shiver.
“H—how long—have you—felt this way?”
Your voice quivered in a way that made it obvious to him what his nearness was doing to you.
“10--fucking years,” Lewis replied eyes glued to yours.
He took one step to you, “I’ve spent the last 8 months cleaning my life, cleaning my circle because I’ve gotten to the point where I could no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. You’re number one, Y/N.”
You were frozen in place, unsure what to say, and even more unsure what to do. He was right, your truths usually did line up and this was no different.
“And I know it scares you, shit it scares me too. All of this does. I know my life is insane and yours is about to be even more so, I get you still have things you want to accomplish; I saw your face when Halsey mentioned adding your name to the plaque. You want it and I want it for you as well as the world for both of us. Our timing can’t be any worse, but something has got to give, love, because I can’t take another year let alone 10 of this.”
You took a deep, ragged breath.
“Where--,” Lewis began before stopping and chewing his top lip.
It was a nervous tick. “Where do I—stand—with you?”
For 10 years he’d been so hard to read, so nearly impossible to gauge, and here right now in the darkness of the room you could see him as clear as day. He was oh so transparent and scared you’d reject him. Scared you’d decide he was more trouble than he was worth. Scared he’d just showed you his heart and ruined your friendship in the process. Without realizing it you were crying; you felt a tear roll down your cheek.
Sniffling, you wiped it away, “Ehm, I broke up with Darius tonight.”
Lewis looked shocked. Clearly, he thought you were still together.
“Why?”
You wiped the other tear that fell from your eye then looked away from him. All of a sudden the room felt smaller than it was, it felt as if the walls were closing in on you. Lewis cupped the back of your head cradling your skull in his palm making you look him in the eyes.
“Why?”
“For the last 8 months, I’ve been hot and cold with him, I pulled him close one minute then the next pushed him away, I disappeared a lot always using work as the excuse. I was busy, yeah, but it wasn’t work. I was always so reluctant to put a label on what we were doing, every time he brought it up I changed the subject never giving him the answer he wanted. Even when we had sex--.”
Lewis took a deep breath, dropped his head, and harshly released it, clearly displeased with confirmation that he’d had you that way, but you continued.
“Even then it was usually always on my terms, and I always wanted him to leave right after. I was—I was always thinking about someone else, something else instead of him, and for 8 months I never felt anything remotely close to what I felt that night with him. over the months every time I saw you it hacked at whatever was going on between me and him until tonight seeing you again it just--.”
You flicked your five fingers indicating an explosion. I’ve become hypersensitive to you, and I don’t know when it happened. It dawned on me that—I was using Darius and it wasn’t fair.”
Lewis searched your eyes not hiding the hurt in his. You took a step towards him. “You’re right about a few things. Our timing couldn’t be any worse.”
He nodded.
“Our truths usually always line up.”
Lewis looked hopeful then.
“Your life is insane.”
The hope faltered.
“I do want my name on that plaque, and I will get it.”
A small smile crooked his lips.
Another tear rolled down your cheek and again you wiped it away, “I can also no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. Always has been because you’re my number one.”
He clenched his jaw then and the emotion that washed over his face rocked you. Like an earthquake rocking the Earth’s surface.
“I am scared.”
As this tear rolled, Lewis was the one to reach out and gently wipe it with the pad of his thumb. Your lip quivered.
“I’m so scared.”
Lewis pushed forward then, crashing his lips to yours in one swift move. Once your lips met neither of you went slow. The kiss was frenzied from the beginning, both of you wanting it all and not wanting to waste any more time taking it. As his tongue rolled with yours you closed the space between you pressing your body against him. Lewis softly moaned, wrapping his arms around you. When you bit down on his bottom lip he groaned then walked you backward until your back collided with the edge of the bar. Trapping you there once again, he kissed you without holding a thing back and your body responded to him instantaneously.
In a matter of seconds, you both were moaning against each other and completely wrapped up in the new feelings that were consuming you. Lewis cupped your face as he kissed you then ran his hands down to your neck. You couldn’t deny that this felt even better than you imagined. Moaning, you clutched his waist but when that didn’t suffice, you slowly slid your hands up along his toned abs, over his chest taking in the bulge of muscle there. When you wrapped them around his neck, Lewis pressed more persistently against you.
“Mmmm!”
Lewis tore his lips from you and put his forehead to yours. “Fuck, I don’t want to get too carried away. I’m sorry I should have asked first.”
“Consent fucking given,” you said before you crashed your lips to his.
This time you took control. Swirling your tongue with his you didn’t give him time to react or gain the upper hand. You wanted to taste him, and you refused to wait any longer. Teasing his lips, you nibbled his bottom one, taking your time to sensually suck on it until he moaned against you. The vibration shot through you making you feel like you’d only now just begun to truly feel. Lewis’ hands roughly gripped your hips, holding you steady so you could feel that you weren’t the only one finally feeling for the first time.
Heightening both if your pleasure, you sucked his tongue until he groaned. The next thing you knew Lewis’ had you by the hips lifting you onto the bar top. You wrapped your thighs around him and nearly came when you felt his hands pry your legs apart. The heat radiating off of his hand on your bare thigh reminded you of the night in his car and you prayed he didn’t stop again.
As if reading your mind, Lewis met your eyes while he slid his hand higher and higher and higher until his fingers crawled to your inner thigh. Softly he raked his manicured nails against your skin forcing a whimper from you. You bit down on your bottom lip and silently willed yourself not to cum from the anticipation. Suddenly the back of Lewis’ fingers brushed against your sex. Your gasp was loud, breathy, and stretched out as he took his time moving centimeter by centimeter until he’d trapped your clit between his pointer and middle finger. Your jaw dropped all the while he held your gaze.
When he tightened his fingers and rubbed against you, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You knew then he was dangerous, and you were going to cum.
“F—ha—fu-huck!”
Your back arched, head fell back as your body moved like it were possessed. Each spasm of pleasure had you bucking against his fingers until you could hardly breathe.
“My god you’re so fucking beautiful when you cum, love.”
You giggled and moaned as the tremors worked their way through you. “Mmm, orgasms and compliments, a girl could get used to this,” you cooed.
“Good. This is your future.”
Lewis moved his hand, brought them to your thighs then lifted them. As he planted your heels at the edge of the bar, you knew what he wanted. Your eyes dropped to his lips then you moaned. Pulling your dress away from your legs you allowed them to fall back to the bar showing him not only gymnasts were flexible.
“Oh fuck,” Lewis groaned.
You watched his eyes drop to your sex and the look on his face was unlike any you’d ever seen. No one had looked at you like this before. He stared where your thighs met like it was the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen, the first of its kind and something he wanted to completely destroy. You now felt like prey spread before him like this, like at any moment he was going to pounce on you.
“Mmm.”
Lewis came closer and closer until he rested on his elbows and was just inches from your sex. The anticipation was killing, and he had to know it.
“I knew you were a lacy knickers kind of woman,” he muttered.
“I take it you’re a lacy knickers kind of man.”
“On you, fuck yes.”
With that, Lewis hooked his thumbs in your underwear and pulled them to the side. He blew out a breath in reaction to seeing you bare for the first time and that breath fucked you up all over again. You threw your head back trying to calm your anxieties, but just when you met his eyes again you found his tongue out sliding against your wet folds.
Oh—my—goooood!”
Lewis moaned and did it again and again until he circled your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Mmmm.”
Lewis pressed your thighs back keeping them spread then went to town. If you’d ever doubted before that his mouth game was incredible you didn’t now. He licked, flicked, and sucked along your flesh making your back remain in a prolonged arch. Within seconds you were whining and writhing as his tongue worked literal fucking magic. The sound of Lewis’ slurping echoed in the living room and that was when your hands grabbed his head. Pulling his hair free you held on and bucked against his mouth.
“Mmm.”
He stuck his tongue out and let you take over. With every buck against his tongue, you called his name and the more the tip of his tongue flicked your clit the more out of control you felt. Your release was so close your body moved more wildly needing it at all costs.
“I’m gonna cum Lewis.”
“Cum for me, Y/N!”
You didn’t need to be told more than once and when you were right on the precipice you felt Lewis slid two digits inside of you. Just like that, your orgasm morphed from a toe-curling release to soul snatching one. You screeched as your body convulsed but he didn’t stop then, he pumped his fingers in and out of you then added a third finger stretching you wide.
“Uuuugh fuck!”
You barely finished your words before Lewis threw you over his shoulder, keeping his fingers inside of you. As he walked through the suite his fingers kept fucking you, readying you for him. When your back met the soft sheets of the mattress, Lewis still hadn’t broken contact. He watched you now as you lay there unable to control your body.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Pulling his fingers free he cleaned two of them off before you sprang to your knees to claim the third. As you sucked his finger you kept your eyes on his. You could see how badly he wanted you, how much he wanted from you, and you couldn’t believe he’d held back all this time. You took your time sliding each button through its slot until his shit was wide open. When you pushed it off of him you took in a sight you’d seen plenty of times only now it was different.
You brought your hands to feel across his torso marveling at each defined ab muscle and each tattoo. When you intentionally rubbed against his beaded nipple you noted the way his Adam’s apple bobbed. How had you never noticed your effect on him? How had you never taken it seriously? Bringing your hands back to his waist you undid his pants. You brushed your palm against the protruding mass straining against his pants which made him shiver as he grunted.
“Oops.”
Lewis scoffed then licked his lips and that was all it took for him to claim back some of the control you possessed over this exchange.
“Of course, you’re a fucking tease.”
You innocently smiled. “I haven’t even begun to tease you.”
“I bet.”
Lewis snuck forward kissing you one peck at a time, over and over.
“Mm, can you take it?”
“Any other night my answer would be yes, hell in an hour my answer will be yes but right now--.”
He cupped your sex with on hand and the back of your neck with the other.
“Mmm.”
“Right now, I have no control left. I’ve remained in control around you for 10 years and right now I just want to let it all go. I want to bury myself so deep inside of you there is no mistake that we belong to each other bad timing or not. It’s you and me, Y/N.”
You groaned as his words only increased the wetness between your legs. You kissed him again, then you turned your back to him and swayed your body against him. Lewis dropped a kiss to your shoulder as his hand crept around to cup the underside of your breast. You leaned forward getting on all fours with your ass poking out to him.
“Undo me?”
He didn’t move for a few moments, and you waited for him to enjoy the view. When you felt his hand rub against your ass you dipped your back lower which only made your ass poke out more. Lewis trailed his hand along your spine that the backless gown proudly showed off. Then he went to your tailbone and lowered the zipper of the dress. Peeping over your shoulder, your eyes locked as you allowed the dress to fall away from your body.
His groan was low—primal. It was all you needed to hear to know he liked the strappy number you wore that was made of fine lace. You expected him to take his time but instead, you felt him peel off the garment leaving you completely naked before him for the first time ever.
“You’re so wet for me, Y/N. So wet and so fucking perfect.”
You spread your legs further then stretched your arms over your head using your head to hold you up. As expected, Lewis flipped you onto your back making you giggle. You roamed your hands over your body, cupping your breasts then sliding them down your abdomen to your dripping core. The entire time, Lewis kept his eyes on every move you made while he pulled his pants and underwear off.
When he stood bare before you, your surprise could not be masked. You didn’t know what you’d expected in your late-night thoughts about what he was packing but you had no way of expecting this. Lewis gripped his length then slowly stroked it as he pressed a knee onto the mattress.
“Scared?”
You bit your bottom lip as you gawked at what the good lord blessed him with. It was unfair and completely intimidating.
“Now I see why everyone in the rotation was so happy being one of many.”
He snorted, bringing his other knee to the mattress between. Slowly he stalked closer like a predator with a deadly weapon in hand.
“There is no rotation anymore.”
“Oh yeah. The LH44 Harem has been disbanded?”
As he crept closer, you slid backward.
“You’re not funny.”
“So am I the first to usher in a new era—a new harem?”
Lewis grabbed your ankle then pulled you back to him making the backs of your thighs slam into the fronts of his. He then hovered over you before dropping an opened mouth kiss on your nipple. Sucking the peak into his mouth he sucked raising your back off of the bed.
“You’re in no harem. I told you, it’s you—and me,” he said nibbling your flesh.
Stared at him letting it all sink in. You brought your hand to his bearded cheek and rested it there.
“Are we really doing this? Like—for real?”
Lewis boxed your face in with his muscular arms and stared into your eyes. “I’ve told you where I stand, Y/N. I’ve told you everything that’s in here.”
He took your hand and placed it over the roaring lion etched on his skin keeping his hand over yours.
“It’s time you tell me what’s in here,” he finished placing his other hand over your left breast.
“You,” you whispered.
“I love you, Y/N.”
Before you could react or even respond Lewis thrust forward sending the tip of his hardness inside of you, stealing your breath, and every thought. A breathy gasp filled the air. Slowly he pushed forward, leisurely filling you giving you time to adjust to his size.
“Haaaa.”
Lewis kept his hand over your heart while holding yours over his as he filled you inch by tortuous inch never taking his eyes off yours. Your entire being was on fire like he was pouring molten lava inside of you with every inch he gave you.
“Oh fu—Lewis,” you panted.
From the way his jaw was clenched, and eyes focused intently on you, you could tell he was feeling everything you were.
“How are you so tight?”
Digging your nails into his chest you tightened your leg around his waist and as if that was his last straw, Lewis flicked his hips forward filling you completely and tearing a scream from both of your lips. Neither of you moved for several moments but with every second that passed by your body blazed. Bucking against him, you slid your hand up to his throat and then gripped it.
“I love you. Fuck me. Now!”
Those words would be your ruin because he did just that without mercy and complete recklessness. Your moans and whimpers melded together rising in decibel and power until the entire room shook with the power of your screams for one another. As he plowed inside of you he didn’t go slow, he followed his basal instincts that were imprinted in his DNA, a need to claim, and dominate.
You’d never felt so out of control in your life. No matter how he fucked you, you couldn’t get enough. No matter how deep he went you wanted him deeper. No matter how he called your name you wanted him to scream it. You wanted every fucking thing he had. You wanted to leave him in shambles. When he flipped you onto your stomach like you weighed nothing, he held your ass in the air and fucked you so thoroughly you’d lost track of how many times you came. It didn’t matter because you wanted more.
He must have been able to read your mind because there was no way he could tell what you needed this soon, you thought to yourself as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you back, so he had your upper body hovering above the mattress.
“Oh my god, I’m cumming Lewis! Ooh shiiiiiit!”
He took advantage of this new angle and circled his hips as he jackhammered into you, fucking you as you did something you’d never done before—squirted. You screamed from the force of your release, but Lewis didn’t stop, he fucked you through it then torpedoed you into another one that you knew would tear you apart. Racing for it, you slammed yourself back into him relishing the mix of pain and pleasure that only intensified when Lewis bit down on your shoulder.
“You got one more for me, darlin? Cum for me. Soak this dick, pretty girl, drench me so I can fill that pretty pussy up.”
“Aaah!”
You clenched around him as you lost yourself and fell off the cliff and into an endless pit of pleasure. You felt Lewis spasm inside of you before he cursed and shouted his release doing just what he promised. Filling your pretty pussy up.
When the two of you finally collapsed on the bed Lewis held you to him spooning you while still being nestled inside of you. Bit by bit you came back to your body and slowly your body went from violent shakes to subtle tremors and a hazy feeling washed over you. Lewis peppered kisses along your neck and shoulder nipping your skin every now and then.
“Mmm. Oh my god!”
He snorted. “You good?”
“Good? Am I good? Are you—at the risk of swelling your head even more than it already is that was--.”
“Was?”
You searched for the words but couldn’t find the right ones. “It was,” you settled on making him laugh as he held you tighter.
“Naw, I was alright, you—you were,” he said making you snort.
“Shut up.”
“No, I’m being for real for real. It’s a miracle I held on that long, you feel unbelievable, so good, too good. You—are!”
You giggled then moaned, sleepiness creeping up on you.
“Don’t you dare fall asleep, I’m nowhere near done with you.”
His manhood inside of you lurched nudging your g-spot and just like that your eyes snapped wide open.
“Watch yourself, I know your weakness now.”
“You?”
“Nope, this pussy.”
Lewis snorted then flipped you onto your stomach again. This time he straddled you as he slowly pulled out of you only to plunge right back in.
“Mmm.”
“Still so damn tight,” Lewis groaned.
“You’re welcome to try stretching me out.”
Lewis jerked his hips forward delivering a bruising thrust as punishment for your your sassy mouth. It was a thrust that took your breath and made you go cross-eyed.
“Mmm, yes!”
“Oh, aren’t you full of surprises. Pretty girl likes it rough and hard.”
He did it again and again, making you hit the bed each time as you buried your face in the sheet to muffle your screams.
“God yes, Lewis!”
“So fucking alike,” Lewis said before lowering his lips to your ear. “Remember I love you 'cause I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”
Not waiting for a reply he held your arms to the bed then delivered on his promise. Everyone else was number 2 compared to you being each other’s number 1. Nothing else mattered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton fanfiction#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton x reader#everyone else is no.2 one shot#black fanfiction
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When I was your man
Pairing: idol!Bang Chan × gn!Reader
Genre: angst
Warnings: alcohol consumption (nothing much tho, it's barely there)
Request: ok so as much as i hate sad fics, i have an amazing idea that is definitely going to break many hearts... when i was your man by bruno mars, as inspiration for a chan fic.
A/n: ik this is inspired by when I was your man but listen to "shot glass of tears" by jungkook and "million reasons" by lady gaga, it really adds to the experience
He could just call you. He knew you would pick up and listen to what he had to say, even though it was probably going to be nonsense. Even if all he had to say was bullshit and excuses, you would listen. You could even give him another chance. But that time, he didn't want that.
No, horrible wording, Bang Chan thought to himself. Of course he wanted another chance. He loved you so much that all he could think of, even when the alcohol was all over his brain and the members and staff were talking about the new comeback, was when he'd get another chance to see you. I'm still not over with all the work for today. Tomorrow we have rehearsals. The day after that we have recording. We probably have something to do later as well, but I can't recall what it is. I don't think I'll have the time this week.
Oh, that was one of the problems. Time. Or the lack of it for that matter. He'd always be late for dinner and would always miss breakfast. In the beginning you thought it was understandable, although you never liked it. But as time went on, you felt you were dating a ghost: the only thing that guaranteed you had a boyfriend was the same old message he would sent you before any date. "Won't be able to make it. I'm sorry. I love you." After receiving so many texts like this in the spam of the last six months, you started to doubt the last two sentences.
But he was sorry. And he loved you. He was planning on how he could show you this now. Maybe he should buy you flowers. You've always liked it, you felt as it was romantic. But there's nothing romantic in excuses that hold no regret. Your words, not his. Won't buy flowers. Yeah, he'd already tried that one before.
Maybe he should take you out. A real date. He'd show up this time, he was sure of it. But would you? He remembers the episode of last week. He showed up after what felt like an eternity without seeing you. But you stood him up. At first he thought it was a little revenge. He would've deserved that if that was the case. But you weren't playing any games. You had just given up. How can you call it a date if you don't look at my eyes throughout it, just because you're to worried a paparazzi will show up? You can't even bring yourself to hold my hand. He read the message you sent at least a hundred times, enough for him to know it by heart and for those words to follow him everywhere he goes. It was the last text you sent him.
He could've called. You would've picked up. He knew you were just looking for a reason to stay, though you had a million reasons to quit. But you still had faith. You still loved him. Right now you were probably looking at your ceiling with teary eyes, trying to make the worst seem better. He knew you that much, and he knew you well.
But he didn't know himself that well. He didn't know then that he was able to put his pride aside. He didn't know that you weren't looking for a grand gesture. He didn't know that he was enough. You just wanted him, and he wasn't able to give it to you. He should've called. But he didn't.
If he had called you, you would've heard him. You would've believed in whatever he had to say. You wouldn't be dating someone new. Someone who has time for you. Someone who gives you flowers without trying to use it as an apology. Someone who's not afraid of being seen with you and holds your hand. The things he could've been to have you by his side if he had tried a little more.
Yeah, he should've called.
Dividers by @cafekitsune
Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!
#hehe#celi drabbles#skz angst#bang chan angst#stray kids angst#stray kids#skz#skz x reader#skz x you#stray kids x reader#bang chan stray kids#bang chan × reader#bang chan#anon - 🦦
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epilogue . . . “ the medical record of the love between the hunter and me ”
— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties for characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!
— this is the epilogue story for roger’s past records, which is available after sending hearts 700 times. this is told in kate’s point of view, and takes place after they become a couple, so i would personally recommend reading this after you've read at least one branch of his route. (but it's not necessarily required!)
— cw: roger without glasses 🤭, nsfw (fade to black), a bit unedited.
It was the early afternoon, the weather clear, a little after Roger and I had become lovers.
“Your medical records could use some polishing, lil lady.”
That was what Roger said as he called me to the laboratory.
Roger: I asked Victor for your diagnostic tests, right? As for your weight——
Kate: Don’t read it out loud!
Roger: Humans are about the only living beings that care about every little thing about their weight.
Kate: Well, I can’t argue with that, but still...
Roger: It’s all well and good you grew up big.
Even after becoming lovers, it seemed Roger’s tendency to lack delicacy sometimes was going strong.
(Well, that said... I also love that about him too.)
Kate: Wait, I’m pretty sure filling in my medical record won’t make much difference... there’s not much point...
Roger: ‘There’s not much point,’ you say?
Kate: I mean, what you want is data on the Cursed ones, right?
K: As much as I’d love to be of help to you, I’m not Cursed myself...
Roger: Hey now, don’t go saying sad stuff like that.
R: Kate, as my special fairytale keeper, you’ll need to continue to accompany me on missions from here on out.
R: And that’s already asking for more danger than a normal person. That’s all to say,
R: if I get to know you on an even deeper level, I can save you more.
With a broad grin, Roger’s canine tooth peeked out.
That smile alone was enough to make me happy...
(To think Roger’s thought this much about me!)
The happiness at having become his lover spread through my entire body, and I gave him a broad nod in turn.
Kate: If that’s the case, I’ll answer anything!
Roger: .........Anything, huh.
In my enthusiasm in answering, I missed Roger’s words, which came in a whisper.
Roger: Then, let’s start the examination.
Kate: Alright, I’ll be in your care!
Roger: What’s your type, lil lady?
(.........Huh?)
Kate: Is... is that needed for the medical record?
Roger: Very much actually. I’m a former doctor, so you think I’d go around asking pointless questions?
Kate: W-well, besides, we are dating already, so do I really need to say my type out loud...
Roger: Your type could be different, even if we are dating. So I have to ask, just in case.
(Is... that true?)
There was no hesitation in Roger’s tone, so it would be strange not to be able to answer.
My type, huh——Roger’s figure popped into my mind then.
Kate: Uhm, I like to watch someone eat a lot, I think.
Roger: Eat a lot, you say? Ahh, so you mean me?
Kate: T-that’s not necessarily the case!
Roger paid no mind to how flustered I was from him hitting the bull’s eye, instead asking the next question.
Roger: Okay, next. What’s something you’ve found fun recently?
He asked the question so quickly to me, I felt I had to answer quickly.
Kate: Something fun is... ah...
K: Yesterday, I had some very hot food, and it was so spicy I ended up laughing.
Roger: You’re talking about the one we were eating together, right? I remember that too.
Kate: ...Eh, ah...
Roger: Okay, next. Who in Crown do you find the most charming?
Kate: That...
I didn’t even have to mull over it; that was just how charming Roger was.
(...Oh no.)
——This is definitely not for filling in the medical records.
But by the time I realized, it was already too late.
Roger: What, keeping quiet? Then, let me ask a final question, for a bad patient.
Roger’s fingertips poked over where my heart was.
Roger: You’ve been teased so relentlessly, and yet your heart’s beating so fast... why is that?
Roger has the ability to hear sounds up to 100 yards away.
So it came as no surprise that he was aware how fast my heart was beating.
Kate: Please don’t listen in...
Roger: No can do, your heart’s the one that’s too noisy.
R: See, it’s going thump thump so fast, it’s pretty cute.
Kate: Uu...
Roger: Oh? You’re going to cry? In that case, by all means, feel free to. I’ll be happy about that.
(T-this man, I swear——!)
I threw him the sharpest glare I could muster at a grinning Roger.
Kate: I thought this before we got together, too, but why do you always have to do things like this!?
K: You say you don’t like doing anything unnecessary, but then you go and do exactly that!
Roger: That’s because I want to take care of you.
R: Because your crying face is cute.
R: Because I want to talk more with you.
R: And because, if it’s with you, I don’t find any of it unnecessary.
R: I’ve got loads of reasons up my sleeve. You wanna hear more?
He hit me with one sweet reason after another as if being shot by a gun, rendering me unable to respond.
No matter how frustrated I got at his teasing, I ended up on the palm of his hand,
and I end up wagging my tail in happiness, like a dog.
I really do like Roger.
(God... I really want to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him right now.)
But, if I wag my tail so easily for him, I wouldn’t be any different than Ale.
(I’m the woman who’s been trained by Roger, so I need to have some kind of comeback.)
(After all, I’m not someone who just falls on the palm of others!)
Regaining my composure, I tried to act out a confident, capable woman.
Kate: Haven’t we talked enough about me? Now you answer my questions.
K: It’s not fair if I’m the only one doing the answering.
Roger: Hmm? Okay then, ask away.
Kate: “What’s your type,” Roger?
I returned the question that had left me flustered before back at Roger, and I inwardly chuckled to myself.
(Hehe, it would be nice if I could make Roger feel the same way I did, even just a little.)
——But, my intentions were seen through all too soon, to my disappointment.
Roger: “My type” is someone who’s much like a dog, and someone who can think for themself.
R: And if you have the spirit to try and get back at me for what I did to you, all the better.
R: Ahh, come to think of it, someone like the one right before my eyes is really my type.
Kate: Wh...
Roger: “What’s something you’ve found fun recently?”
R: Right now, this moment.
Kate: Ah...
Roger: “Who in Crown do you find the most charming?”
R: If you count as a member of Crown——then it can only be you, Kate.
I could only blink in response as Roger’s strong arms wrapped around me.
My ears were pressed against his warm chest...
Roger: Here, listen to my heart.
Being hit with those sweet words on top of that, I felt myself going dizzy.
Kate: I think my heart’s being too noisy... so, I can’t tell.
Roger: Pfft, hahahaha!
R: Guess that makes it my win.
Seeing him laugh so happily while patting my head, that sort of innocence was rare coming from him, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
(...Jeez... I really am no match for him.)
Kate: Hehe, I don’t recall this ever having been a match, but I surrender.
I was always on the palm of his head, and that was so frustrating it was unbearable.
But, I’m not someone who will fall into anyone’s palm.
(Roger, you are the most special to me, and I wouldn’t replace you for the world.)
(That’s why, I will happily fall into the palm of your hand.)
Roger: What’re you talking about, isn’t it too early to surrender?
The hand that had been on my head slipped before grabbing and lifting my chin.
Roger: We’ve only just become lovers. So we have to get to know each other more.
The eyes before me pierced me with a heat that resembled a hunter aiming for his prey.
He didn’t even try to conceal that heat, and it brought out my desire as well.
Kate: ...What do we need to do, in order to get to know each other deeper?
Roger: Let’s see now, first of all...
Kate: Mn, nn...
While kissing me, Roger lifted me before pinning me down on the lab table.
Roger: Do I need to spell out the rest... lil lady?
Just thinking about what he was going to do made the bottom of my stomach throb.
As if seeing through my desire, Roger’s fingers traced my thighs before they made their way in my underwear.
Roger: ...Hm?
(Ahh, jeez...)
I removed Roger’s glasses, and in an attempt to divert him from my embarrassment, I turned my face away.
Kate: ...I know, but still... tell me.
Roger: .........Alright, I’ll tell you everything.
—— Time skip ——
As the night deepened, Victor and Roger’s shadows were present in the lounge.
Victor: Oh, right, Roger. About Kate’s medical records...
Roger: Ahh, that. I have it here.
Victor: Thank you, that was quick as always. Oh? This date...
V: To think you’ve taken such detailed records on her since the day she started as a fairytale keeper...
Roger: Well, yeah.
Victor: I’m sure if Kate knew, she would be delighted.
Roger: No, best to keep that a secret.
R: Since the day I met her, the thing I liked the most was giving her a bit of trouble.
Fin.
← main story 👑 ecb story 🪞🍻
full masterlist 🍻
END NOTES: i believe this basically concludes my translation of roger’s past records! and a big big thank you to everyone who read to the end! i had fun translating this story, since in addition to roger, we can see a variety of other characters being featured — and they even feature a chapter where crown is just being the dysfunctional found family they are 🤭
i hope this story can serve as a good starting for roger’s route (and perhaps future routes too, though in the end we still don’t know too much about victor, haha). i’d love to hear your thoughts 🥹🙏
#ikemen villains#ikevil#イケメンヴィラン#ikevil roger#ikevil roger barel#roger barel#ikemen villains roger#ikevil victor#ikemen villains victor#cybird ikemen series#cybird ikemen#cybird otome#ikemen series#otome game#otome#ikevil translation#ikevil translations
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The Curse of Cassandra [EP : XIII]
Read in Ao3 : here
Pairings : Qimir x f!reader(SEA Reader) [The Acolyte]
Content Rating : Mature 18+ Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warning (AT YOUR OWN RISK)
tags/themes : Alternate Universe - Dune & Star wars, Partners in Crime, Strangers to Lovers
Summary : The last bloodline of House Atreides is about to reach its own conclusion. Both Yord and you understand what lies ahead and are ready to do whatever it takes to protect each other, even if it means one of you may have to sacrifice their life.
Status: just finished writing this fic! (It will end in Episode 14)
A/N : Just one chapter left until the end, and I'm feeling sad to see that many have stopped reading my fic. It's been tough to stay motivated to continue, but I want to finish what I've started. I hope those who are still following along are enjoying the story. Thank you for sticking with me
Ps.If you enjoy my work, please reblog it. Just liking the post won’t help others discover it.
➡ Intro // EP : 1 // EP : 2 // EP : 3 // EP : 4 // EP : 5 // EP : 6 // EP : 7 // EP : 8 // EP : 9 // EP : 10 // EP : 11 // EP : 12 // EP : 14 (Completed)
Special OS : Phantom Thread
[Episodes 13] Here I am, here I remain.
"Run away with me."
You aren't particularly surprised to find Yord standing at your doorstep in the early evening; however, his sudden plea still manages to catch you off guard.
Yord is still panting, one hand gripping the doorframe tightly. His face glistens with sweat dripping from his forehead, a sign of how hard he must have pushed himself to rush here. His wide eyes looking at you reflect a whirlwind of emotions—anxiety, concern, and anger.
"You don't have to do this," Yord says, his voice serious as he continues when you remain silent. "Those plans are complete nonsense! How desperate do they have to be to drag you into such madness?"
Ah, so he knows everything, you think to yourself, assuming it was likely Jackie or Sol who told him.
The plan Yord refers to is Sol’s secret scheme, a final attempt after repeated failures to capture the new Sith Lord. It involves using you as both bait and a means to force Qimir into revealing himself.
Qimir is an unparalleled assassin known for his perfection, having never left any evidence or shown any vulnerability that could lead to his capture. The Jedi call him ‘The Stranger,’ a faceless phantom, an identity-less shadow. No one knows who he is, when he will appear, or who his next victim will be.
Until now, only you and Sol know about Qimir's past, but even that hasn’t helped solve the case. All records of his time as a Padawan were erased long ago, and Vernestra, who could have confirmed everything, is dead.
The final solution comes down to you. Your visions and the deep connection you share with Qimir are the only keys Sol believes can stop him.
You remember when Sol came to you personally to discuss the plan. You sensed the weight of his desperation and the pressure he was under to make this choice, despite the warnings you had already given him.
In your vision, Sol wasn’t even a match for Qimir. The chances of him throwing his life away in this plan were dangerously high.
Yet, despite knowing this, Sol remained determined.
"Perhaps this is the only way I can atone for what I did at Brendok," he told you in a calm voice, his eyes reflecting his weariness. "We all have sins to repay and fates we cannot escape. Let me face mine as a Jedi."
His words took root in your heart. You knew that fate wasn't just pursuing Sol—it was after you as well.
Your thoughts return to the present. You turn away, unable to meet Yord’s eyes. "It’s impossible," you finally reply, trying to keep your voice steady, but the words come out in a trembling whisper. "You're a Jedi Knight, Yord. You can't throw everything away for me."
"Fuck the Jedi and the Sith! They don’t even care if you live or die!"
You flinch. You’ve never seen Yord explode with such rage before.
Noticing your reaction, Yord realizes he's let his emotions spiral out of control. He wipes a hand over his face, taking a deep breath to calm the fury still simmering within.
“Please, I’m begging you... just come with me,” his tone softens, shifting from anger to a plea. “There’s still time for us to run. I’ll make sure no one finds you. You’ll be safe with me. I swear.”
Yord grips your hand tightly, and you can feel the tremor in his hold. The Bene Gesserit training tells you immediately what’s behind it—he’s afraid. But afraid of what?
“This has nothing to do with you, Yord,” you say, feeling a pang of sympathy but not knowing how to comfort him. “But I’ve seen clearly… it’s impossible.”
You know that facing Qimir again is inevitable. Even if you fled with Yord now, it would only delay the inevitable. Eventually, Qimir will find you, and this path would lead Yord to a cruel, tragic end—something you would never allow to happen to your only living relative.
“But I’ve seen it too!” Yord blurts, still refusing to accept your decision. “I dreamt of you... of your death, at his hands. I won’t let that happen.”
His words don’t surprise you. Instead, you offer him a soft smile. The bond inherited from Paul Atreides stirs within your heart, prompting you to instinctively caress his cheek with loving concern.
"You may have just seen it for the first time, but I've seen it a thousand times," you say, weariness lacing your voice.
You’ve seen every choice, every possible outcome, and every death of your own—both in dreams and while awake. It feels as if you’ve lived through countless deaths, and the fear you once held has long faded into numb acceptance.
This is the torment of one doomed to see everything—a suffering no ordinary person could ever understand or endure.
"But death isn't the only path," you continue. "There are still many futures that can be changed, even if just slightly. But even a slight change can make all the difference. That's why I have to follow this plan."
"Then I’m coming with you," Yord insists.
You study the determination in his eyes under the temple’s dim light, realizing just how serious he is. "Yord, I’m not sure if..."
“You can’t stop me,” he interrupts, cutting you off as if he already knows what you’re thinking. “If you won’t go with me, then I’ll go with you.”
You want to argue, but you choose silence instead. You don't want him to come, yet you know that trying to stop him would be futile. Yord will do anything to stay by your side, to make sure you’re safe from every danger—even if it costs him his life.
And deep down, you know you’d do the same for him.
In that moment, both of you feel an unbreakable bond woven from a shared consciousness through the memories of your ancestors. The sibling love between Paul and Alia from the past intermingles with your own memories, merging into a blood bond that binds you both to your very souls.
Every path of fate and coincidence has intertwined to lead to this moment, where the last remnants of the Atreides bloodline stand before each other, waiting to take the final step toward the end of everything, together.
You press your lips tightly, your heart trembling with emotions too complex to name. Finally, you throw yourself into his arms. “I love you,” you whisper before pulling away.
Your unexpected action catches Yord off guard. He looks at you in surprise, noticing the silent fear in your eyes—the fear you refuse to voice and the fear he chooses not to ask about.
"I love you too," Yord replies, entwining his fingers with yours. In that instant, he feels as if the past and future have collapsed into one, compressing and enveloping both of you. His mind suddenly understands, without the need for explanation, that fate has already changed its course.
And though Yord can’t see visions as clearly as you do, he can still feel it…
...feel that this might be the last time he will ever see your face.
Eiram
Most of this planet is covered by vast oceans, with only a few forests deep within the islands. Scattered remnants of past disasters still litter the landscape—derelict houses crumbled by violent storms, massive trees left in unnatural positions, and the decaying remains of the Starlight Beacon, now completely covered in moss.
The ship lands silently on the beach of a deserted island. The ocean stretches behind them, dense forest lies ahead. It is peaceful and beautiful—an ideal spot for a tourist destination. Yet, Yord can’t shake the unease that gripped him the moment they arrived. Something feels wrong, but he can’t put his finger on why.
Yord tells himself it’s just the stress of the mission, but deep down, he knows it’s more. He’s sure you sense it too—the worry on your face confirms it.
“Are you all right?” Yord asks, his voice full of concern as he notices you dabbing a handkerchief to your bleeding nose.
He’s only recently learned that this always happens when you use your visions. You’ve told him it’s the price of defying nature—that each time you dive into heightened awareness, you pay the toll with your body. Yord feels sympathy for you, but there’s nothing he can do. He doesn’t have the power you do, and he has no idea how to ease the pain you endure.
“Not great, but I’ll manage,” you reply, your voice unusually cold as you nod at him. “Let’s keep going. We have a lot to deal with.”
Your gaze is steady as you look toward the wild forest ahead, the place where you told the Jedi The Stranger was hiding.
At that moment, Yord doesn’t catch the underlying meaning in your words or actions.
He doesn’t realize... until after it has already happened.
Why?
This thought races in Yord’s mind during his final moments of consciousness. His body slumps against a tree, completely immobile. Pain radiates in his head and back, and his vision slowly darkens. Yet he can still see you clearly. You stand above him with an expressionless face, holding the stun blaster—the very one he gave you for protection. It’s the same weapon you just used to shoot him from behind.
He furrows his brow, desperately trying to understand what just happened. What mistake led him to this situation?
His recent memories flash back to when the Jedi group, led by Sol and Jackie, ventured into the forest on your guidance. Yord had chosen to stay behind with you, ensuring your safety in case anything went wrong.
But they had unknowingly walked into the trap of a Sith Lord. None of them had suspected they were being watched the entire time—until the attack came suddenly when a tall man in a dark cloak lunged at them with a red lightsaber in hand. Though the man’s face was concealed beneath a strange helmet, Yord had known immediately who he was—The Stranger, the Sith Lord they had been chasing all along.
The battle erupted in a chaotic frenzy. Yord quickly realized how skilled Qimir was. His skills were no less than a master's, perhaps even beyond that. Despite being attacked simultaneously by multiple Jedi, Qimir maintained his defense steadily without flinching, countering with swift and powerful strikes. The brilliant red beam cut through the air with deadly precision. He moved too fast for anyone to keep up, and one by one, the Jedi fell before him, as if killing Jedi was no more than a simple task for him.
Yord could only watch in horror. Fear gripped his heart as he tightened his hold on his own lightsaber. In all his years as a Jedi Knight, he had never faced an opponent this terrifying.
“Yord! Get her out of here! Master and I will handle him!"
Jackie's shout snapped Yord back to his senses. He quickly grabbed your hand, taking advantage of the chaos to escape immediately. He wasn’t even sure which direction the ship was in—all he knew was that he had to get you as far away from Qimir as possible.
A deep instinct told him that if Qimir reached you, something terrible would happen.
Yord stopped running when you suddenly pulled your hand away from his. At first, he thought you were just exhausted from running, but before he could turn to check on you, an immense force slammed into him. His body was thrown violently and crashed hard against a tree, the impact knocking the wind out of him.
And now, here he is—helpless, barely conscious, and fading fast.
His mind races, but no answers come. His blurry eyes focus on you, filled with confusion. Gathering the last bit of strength he can muster, he manages to ask, “Why?”
You slowly kneel before him. For a brief moment, Yord sees guilt in your eyes, but it quickly fades back into cold indifference.
“Because of love,” you answer him. "That's why I had to do this. Please forgive me."
Your voice sounds distant and faint. Yord wants to ask more, but the darkness spreads too quickly, swallowing him whole and completely overtaking his consciousness.
#qimir fic#qimir x reader#qimir x y/n#qimir x you#qimir#the acolyte#the acolyte fic#star wars#star wars fic#qimir the acolyte#qimir the stranger#star wars the acolyte#star wars qimir#the acolyte qimir#the acolyte x reader#the acolyte fanfiction#star wars fanfiction#star wars au#dune au#the stranger x reader#the stranger#manny jacinto#dune fanfiction#dune fanfic#dune fic#dune#yord fandar#master sol#jecki lon#the curse of cassandra
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Simon Month 2024 Masterlist - Saynomore
I'm so happy we all got to celebrate Simon's month together, and I truly can't BELIEVE it's already over. The amount of love that went into each fic, gifset, text post, fan art, and all other mediums is so astounding to me. The amount of talent and love you guys all possess is so unreal. Also, so much gratitude to the audience / readers for keeping this little community thriving the way it is <3
Simon's character is so dear to my heart, so it's meant a lot to me we all got to show this character so much love and attention. I've participated in a few fan events and ficathons, but this has far and away been the most amazing one I've been a part of. Thank you to everyone who has left comments or reblogged my fics, you guys make me smile in disbelief each time. And of course, thank you so much @youngroyals-events for organizing and hosting 💜💜
I've seen others do it, so I'll compile a little masterlist of the ten fics I wrote for Simon's Month 2024. You can find the series here, and each work is listed below.
Day One: Not just pencils // Pencil Case
Simon starts finding mysterious objects in his pencil case. He has his suspicions as to who is responsible. Post Season 1.
Day Seven: Purple like the colors of the moon // Purple
Simon thinks about dyeing his hair. (Other people have feelings about it.)
Day Eight: Gross negligence // Identity & Discrimination
Simon (finally) gets interviewed about his experience with discrimination and harassment at Hillerska.
Day Ten / Day Seventeen: Chasing waterfalls (1/2) // Travel, Venezuela
Ch 1: Simon and Wille hike Salto Ángel (Angel Falls) in Venezuela.
Ch 2: Rosh receives a suspiciously royal letter.
Day Seventeen: A fresh start // Friendship (bonus: Secrets)
Simon and Felice finally have *that* conversation.
Day Nineteen: As Wilhelm awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed into a fish // Fish
Basically Kafka's The Metamorphosis, except Wille freaky fridays into one of Simon's fish after Erik's death.
Day Twenty-Two: Labor of love // Labor Day
Sara goes into labor, naturally, on Labor Day. Simon is about to be an uncle, and Wilhelm is Sara's distracting pediatric nurse.
Day Twenty-Seven: When I'm in your arms // Physical Touch
It was that promise that he held onto in their weaker moments. That Wille’s words and actions were unreliable narrators when they always ended up in each other's arms despite not trying to, despite trying not to. Simon reflects on physical touch throughout his relationship.
Day Twenty-Nine: He sees stars and rocketships // Stars
Simon (accidentally) eats a weed brownie, Wilhelm is worried until he isn't, and somehow stars are involved.
Day Thirty-One: Photo flash focus record // Photos
When Wille started his photography class all those years ago, Simon had been more than wary. Wille began with nature photography, but he needed someone to practice on for the portraits unit. Being the good boyfriend that he was, Simon had swallowed his feelings and volunteered. That's how it started, anyway.
Thank you so much for reading <3 Don't be a stranger and come say hi!
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Agents of SHIELD Incorrect Quotes 🔏
-> In other words, Nikolai, Melissa, Marlene and Amelia being idiots ;)
—~~—
Maria Hill: Report of your mission with Melissa Wallace.
Marlene: Target was taken out.
Maria Hill: Very go-
Marlene: Then I took her to a lovely restaurant. Candle lit dinner. I proposed by the end of it. She has my last name now.
Maria Hill: I—
—~~—
Nikolai: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.
Marlene: You people already know too much about me.
Melissa: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.
Amelia: Leave the poor girl alone!
—~~—
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Marlene: Shit.
Nikolai: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Melissa: OH MY GOD AMELIA FELL OFF!!!
—~~—
Amelia: Am I in trouble?
Nikolai: Take a guess.
Amelia: No?
Nikolai: Take another guess.
—~~—
Marlene, tending to Nikolai’s wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Nikolai: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
—~~—
Melissa: Is something burning?
Marlene: Just my love for you.
Melissa: Honey, the toaster is on fire.
—~~—
Nikolai: I can explain.
Amelia: Can you?
Nikolai: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
—~~—
Amelia: Someone will die.
Melissa: Of fun!
—~~—
Melissa: I turned out perfectly fine!
Marlene: Babe, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.
Melissa: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!
—~~—
Marlene: I prevented a murder today.
Amelia: Really? How’d you do that?
Marlene: Easy. Self control.
—~~—
Nikolai: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Melissa: What did you do?
Nikolai: Nobody died.
Melissa: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
—~—
Nick Fury: I know you snuck out last night, Marlene.
Melissa: Play dumb!
Marlene: Who's Marlene?
Melissa: NOT THAT DUMB!!!
—~~—
Nikolai: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Marlene: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Amelia: In that case, we're definitely lost.
Melissa: Well shit!
—~~—
Nikolai: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Amelia: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Nikolai: Absolutely not.
—~~—
Melissa: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Marlene: Oh, I’m always running!
Melissa: The question is from what.
—~~—
Maria Hill: You know those things will kill you, right?
Nikolai, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Marlene, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Melissa: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
—~~—
Nick Fury: I think we're missing something.
Amelia: Teamwork?
Melissa: Cohesion?
Marlene: Research?
Nikolai: A general sense of what we’re doing?
—~~—
Amelia: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Marlene: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Nikolai: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Melissa: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Coulson: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
—~~—
Coulson: Anyone d-
Melissa: Depressed?
Nikolai: Drained?
Amelia: Dumb?
Marlene: Disliked?
Coulson: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...
—~~—
Marlene: Good morning.
Nikolai: Good morning.
Melissa: Good morning.
Amelia: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Nick Fury: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!!
Amelia: Just like that!
———
Thanks for reading! Keep it going y’all haha
Please like, comment and reblog for more like this one
Tags: @msrochelleromanofffelton @gcthvile @hanlueluver @gaminggirlsstuff @parisparker269 @rooster-84 @superspookyjanelle @sherloquestea @blackheart-beauty @yetanotherwells @triptuckers and etc.

#marvel incorrect quotes#avengers incorrect scenarios#avengers incorrect quotes#agents of shield incorrect quotes#agents of chaos#oc incorrect quotes#marvel oc#spiderman oc#darcy lewis#marvel x oc#aos#aos icons#danielle campbell#zooey deschanel#amy jackson#thomas doherty#harry hook#davina claire#jessica day#imra ardeen#maria hill#nick fury#phil coulson#marvel fancast
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I wanted to let you know how much I admire your writing. Your talent for storytelling is incredible, and I've been a big fan of your work for a while now.(You could see my comments in ao3)
Going through the comments in ao3 one thing was clear that u DO wanted to write a s4 fic but I guess u must be very busy which is understandable and if u need any help just let me know. I would love to assist you
I've been thinking about how amazing it would be to read a Season 4 fanfic from you. I can't help but imagine the magic you'd create with those characters and plotlines. So, I wanted to make it clear that it's now my mission to gently (or not so gently) nag you to write a Season 4 fic, every week.
I would definitely stop if it's not acceptable.
I'm really excited about the idea, and I would be absolutely thrilled to read your take on it.
Your writing has a special place in my heart, and I believe a Season 4 fic from you would be nothing short of extraordinary. Please consider it, and know that I'd be eagerly waiting to devour every word of it.
Looking forward to any updates on this mission of mine!
Love 😘
Cassy from ao3
Yeah, this is not a good idea. Don't do this, especially not now. I don't know if you're a member of the group of friends who recently overwhelmed my private messaging with questions about season 4, almost creepy enthusiasm, and nagging for responses. But if not, be aware that after something like 56 messages in less than two days, I actually started blocking people. This is something I've rarely done to non-porn bots--I've probably blocked real people less than 5 times in the 10 years I've been on tumblr. I appreciate that you like my work, but with this context in mind, now is not the time.
And just a note for the general audience out there and those people I blocked in case they're lurking about: I'm not a meta tap you can privately turn on for your Hannibal fix, nor a stand-in for Bryan Fuller and production now that most have lost hope for a season 4. I still enjoy Hannibal but have mostly moved on to other hobbies, and if I do ever write another fic or a season 4 fic, it will be when I feel moved by inspiration, not by being inundated by demands.
For the record, what specific ideas I have for a season 4 fic will remain unstated unless I write it, and what speculations and predictions I have that seem realistic for the actual show, I've probably mostly stated in previous metas, or if not, have kept to myself for personal reasons. I'm sure some of it I've forgotten by this point.
The right way to approach me for a meta discussion is to send an ask to my inbox like Cassy here did, so that I can make a public response and generate a discussion if possible: that's how a meta blog generates content for blogging. No one who writes meta has time to write whole analytical essays and arguments for an audience of 1, unless that audience is a very close and trusted friend.
With that said, I do understand that this isn't that satisfying since I haven't answered asks in a long time, and when I have, my responses have been brief. The truth is, I just haven't got that much to say about Hannibal that I haven't already said in the past. I believe there are a variety of more recent Hannibal meta blogs out there, as well as ones that reblog and index meta from multiple writers. Good luck to you all in finding what you're looking for.
Cassy, I do appreciate your enthusiasm, and I'll make an effort to catch up on my AO3 comments here in a bit.
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Why is syscourse about fucking plural headcanons now??? Do you know?????
I was just talking about this on Discord—
Anyways, while I know why, I think it’s rather silly. Someone posts a headcanon, people get salty, then people get salty about the salt.
Personally, I feel there is a difference between saying “I think this character could be read through this lens” and “this character 100% has an incredibly stigmatized disorder.” (Note; that’s in cases of people suggesting characters have CDDs).
It’s all brought back to mind something that happened when I was still MotCR. A user (a singlet) made a post that was extensively researched and expertly written, essentially saying “What if Steven from SU:Future had DID?” And analyzing with that premise. No, they didn’t say “Hey, Steven’s a system!!” They said “let’s analyze this as if he does, this is an interesting headcanon.” To this day, when I was Steven universe content, I think about it through the lens of my own experiences as a system and find it vastly more enjoyable than it already was.
Then someone reblogged it with vitriol, hatred, and aggression, because they read it in bad faith, and read it as if the user was suggesting that Steven DID have DID within the show, and screaming about how it was falling into stereotypes. The original post was deleted, the user wrote a huge apology, and sought out everyone to ask that they delete any reblogs, lest their “ableism” spread.
It’s unfortunate how much of the online plural community reacts strongly to plural headcanons; it’s also unfortunate how people sometimes use those headcanons to reinforce negative stereotypes.
For the record: I do love headcanons about my disorder. I am just wary of individuals deeming a magical case of transformation or amnesia to be DID. Headcanon what you will, but stating things in absolutes will always be a source of trouble.
#syscourse#asks#anon#I didn’t fully answer your question I’m afraid#but I’m a touch out of it!#Lilac Bound Hauntings
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FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
(Part 64 of ?)
18+ readers only (sex scenes)
Return to the Master Story Index
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FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
or
Making Fiends and Influencing Ponies
An Anthro *Tail* of the Mane Six
Part 64 of ? (Work in Progress)
by
De Writer
67461 words (story in progress)
© 2022 by Glen Ten-Eyck
All rights reserved. This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.
//////////////
Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users
This story is age restricted to 18+
years or older!
Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.
All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.
///////////////////////
New to the story? Read from the start HERE
//////////////////////
Princess Twilight's attention was captivated by the dancers on the different stages. She practically glomped the other two Princesses and demanded to know, “Have you ever seen any dance performance like these? I know that there is no record of them in the Royal Library! I looked, after I found your private closed stacks!”
Princess Luna gave her a sideways look as she replied, “Oh, you did, did you?”
Princess Celestia just turned red in the face. Quietly, she returned, “No, Twi, a performance like this is turning into? Never in close enough to four thousand years have I seen anything like this.”
Kin had quietly herded Pinkie Pie back to the group. She whispered, “Twi is hatching an idea that you will absolutely want to hear.”
The Gryphon Ambassador was listening closely. He had a mirror out and was whispering, “Grata, Hisst, Empress, this show is like nothing ever done before and it is being done for our aid! Princess Celestia just confirmed that she has never beheld anything like it! The show has not even been put on and already they have raised about thirty eight thousand golden bits for us!”
He listened carefully to the reply. “I will tell them. There is much else happening in the Kingdom. They are, along with this, working to forstall a coup attempt.
“The first of the four casualty trains will be coming this afternoon. The Kindred Spirit Trauma Hospital is fully staffed and waiting for them.”
He listened more and closed his mirror.
He turned to Pinkie and gestured with a wing at the set dance going on the stage, “How do you manage to have a three step waterfall and pool on the stage?”
Pinkie snorted, “We had a little help with that one! It is mostly a Glamor spell cast by one of the foremost practitioners of non Equine magic in the kingdom.”
Meanwhile, Luna, eybrows raised almost all the way to her crown, was asking, “Are you sure about this, Twilight? Yes, Tia and I are the second and third best Rom dancers presently living but Rom dance is not like this!”
Nodding emphatically, Twilight stated, “True. Kin can coach us in how this kind of dance works in only a few minutes. We saw that last night.”
Celestia pointed out, “This might conflict with the Hospital's work.”
Luna replied, “We have a day and a half. Besides casualties we have ten more Gryphon surgeons who are not injured coming to learn. With their help, we could easily deal with the new cases.
“I think that Twi's idea is a good one! We have WATCHED enough performances. It is about time that we are IN one! Get Pinkie, Foamy, and Clarice over here while we still have the time!”
Pinkie piped up, “I'm already here. What's your idea?”
The other two nudged Twilight forward, “It's your idea, Twi. You pitch it.”
She took a deep breath and began, “Well, I thought that We, the Princesses could do one of the features between the set pieces. The basic idea is that we will all be on stage, taking turns as the lead. We will all be using those hidden wing outfits. First, Celestia will begin, with a low spotlight that will brighten. As it does, she will do the wing reveal and some flashy wing work, then she will be pulling hers close as I join her and sort of do the same while she goes to support dancing and then Luna will join me and I will retire to the support role with Celestia.
“Sort of presenting the passage of a day, through evening and night. You see?”
Pinkie bobbed her head as she turned and sprinted for the stages, “Foamy! Clarice! Quick! We have a dance emergency! You need to score a new one, fast!”
The Princesses huddled with the choreographers as Twilight explained her idea. Kin joined them shortly.
Kin pointed out, “I will need to do Princess Twilight entirely from scratch, which is no problem. For both Princesses Celestia and Luna I will need to lift coordination issues from Red. Their dancing is done to a music that is completely alien to what you will all be working with. Also, stripping is a whole different mindset. With your royal permission I will take care of it for you.”
Without waiting, she took up a pencil and pad, beginning to make sketches while talking over the act with the choreographers.
Pinkie nodded, not even waiting for their answer as she took off for backstage! Shortly she returned with Red. “Here you are, Kin. She is happy to do this for the show! Giving Royals, wing work and stripping reflexes? Not something found on most resumes!”
Celestia nodded, “True enough! Have we got time enough to do a full rehearsal? I mean, those trains of casualties will be arriving soon.”
Luna gave a slightly embarrassed happy skip as she replied, “Plenty of time, actually. Even once they get here, they have to be offloaded and the cases transported to the hospital. These are nearly all serious injuries but not life threatening. What I wonder is whether our costumes can be ready in time for us to rehearse with them.”
Rarity spoke up from where she was watching the finale of the mainstage second act, “If I can get the measurements and costume work up sketches, I should be able to have them for you in less than an hour.”
Kin put down her pencil and handed Rarity the file of drawings that she had been working on. “Here you go, Sweet Love. But not before you get a kiss. I've missed hugging you for simply hours!”
Suiting action to words, she pulled Rarity close and kissed her deeply. As they broke the kiss, Rarity added, “As soon as I get back with these, we will watch a run through of the act and then, Love of Mine, we both are in serious need of milking!”
Kin grinned, placing a hand over her boobs in fake modesty, she replied archly, "Should you speak of such things in public?” Breaking into a grin, she finished, “Only when alone or with some pony, like say, ME! Now scoot! Sooner done, sooner we play!”
With a flirt of her tail, Rarity got.
Kin held Red close and gently stroked from the back of her head to the end of her ribs, her fingers dancing lightly along. She gave Red a quick hug and then gestured to Princess Twilight.
“You first, My Princess. It will not take long, but I have the most to do with you. As I have promised, State and personal secrets are totally safe.”
She simply nodded and snuggled up to Kin. As Kin's fingers danced along her spine, Twilight's ears pointed down to the stage where the between act feature dancer was beginning! Her eyes opened in comprehension! “So THAT is what all those dance teachers were trying to show me!”
As she traded places with Princess Luna, Luna giggled, “What? They were trying to teach you how to strip?”
Twilight bleped her tongue at Luna and confessed, “Actually, it was picking up the rhythm of the music for dancing. I've always sort of had two left hooves at dancing. Now I know how to do it right!”
As Celestia took her turn with Kin, she commented, “That's wonderful, Twi. I love Rom dancing but Court ballroom? Boring. I rather expect that this will be anything but!”
TO BE CONTINUED
<==PREVIOUS ~ NEXT==>
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#FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC#Part 64 of ?#age restricted 18+#MLP Fan Fiction#Written by De Writer#WORK IN PROGRESS
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Do you think that even pedophiles and those who abuse or kill children deserve basic human rights and second chances?
ooooo look at this! its bait! lets break down why, thank you so much for volunteering as a demonstration anon
for context for those who are seeing this without it- I reblogged a post about how even bad people deserve human rights. you can find the post here. I added tags of my own to it, which you can read there, but for ease of access I'll also quote here-
#'but what about-' yes even them#human rights are not fucking conditional#and if you start taking away from some people where do you stop?#people think its so clear cut and its not#'oh but if we only take from the worst of the worst' who is that?#who is the worst of the worst?#what exactly defines the worst of the worst?#and where does that definition stop?#when is somebody bad but good enough to still deserve rights?#and who gets to decide that?#who decides who's good who's bad who's irredeemable?#who do you put in power to control morality?#where does it end?#where does it fucking end?#so yeah. bad people deserve human rights#and if you think you can come up with an exception I promise you cant
as we can see, anon here has of course come up with the worst people they can think of- pedophiles, people who abuse and harm children- and has come to bait me into a fight with it. because, as we can see in my tags, I clearly stated, quote, "'but what about-' yes even them", so anon already knows my answer here! this message doesnt want to have a discussion, or even a good faith argument- you, anon, just want to bait me into a fight
you'll also notice anon added the idea of second chances. this is not an idea present in the original post or in my tags! you added that as further bait to get me to say pedophiles deserve second chances
you want to challenge me anon? you cant. but let me challenge you. what's your definition of a second chance? what exactly does a second chance mean, in this context? are you asking if I think pedophiles deserve to walk free? are you asking if I think pedophiles deserve to live? are you asking if I think pedophiles should just be let off the hook no consequences? given a chance at life after rehabilitation? what are you asking me? if youre gonna bait people into a fight, at least try to ask decent questions. this is a laughable attempt
and you know, anon, I usually delete messages like this, but I figured I'd use you as a demonstration to show what bait messages look like for those who havent gotten them before. you should always delete messages like this rather than answer them, so do as I say and not as I do, here
and, for the record- I think every single human being on this planet deserves human rights. every single one. without exception.
just in case I was unclear :)
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KM Discord Server
As a POC (SE Asian) who was also dogpiled on a much a smaller scale in another discord server, and as one who'd witnessed in real time the events that unfolded in December 2023 in the KM discord server, I think the one thing that's been lost in all this chaos and drama is the human decency of giving people the benefit of the doubt.
Feel free to skip this section!
And for a little background, here's my experience: I reblogged a post on my blog and ranted about a few headcanons that I don't agree with in the tags. Some people read my tags, and concluded from that one post that I'm an outright ableist. Mind you, it was one day, and one post when I had absolutely no filter. Yet still, in which case, the conclusion drawn about me was fair, since in retrospect, I see where I went wrong. Again, I was frustrated for one day in that post and did not think of my tone whatsoever. I face the repercussions of that misjudgment today. For the record, just because I'm a POC, it doesn't mean that I'm immune to hurting other people, no matter the fact that that was never my intention. I did hurt certain individuals with that one damn post and the tags I wrote, and I'll be apologetic and remorseful about it for a long time. But having said that, I'd honestly expected certain people in this fandom to be mature enough to reach out in private first and ask for some clarifications, not to be immediately gossiped about in the discord server we were a part of. On top of that, besides that one incident, I hadn't even realized there was already growing resentment towards the metas I've written for KP/Kimchay, besides one of the few times I brought up personal frustrations I experienced as a POC. Lol
From what I've noticed with this incident in the KM server as well as the small discord server I was a part of, when POC share their own cultural context and understanding of something, not just the piece of media for which is the reason why we were all there in the first place, the knee-jerk reaction for most westerners are almost always to think of those things as "fandom policing."
In fact, in a separate conversation from my experience, one of them even said, "it's not so much about culture!" LOLOL To have that sentiment hurled towards me, while I was speaking of my frustrations of when culture erasure takes place in conversations of certain topics, while the conversation took place in a discord server meant to celebrate an Asian piece of queer media…was quite an experience. XD Goodness, I can only wonder what it's like to be able to have the privilege to say that so easily. That's all I'll say. Ha~
Yet still, from my own point of view, do I call the people who hurt me “individuals with a colonizer mindset” and that other word that’s hanging around right now and unsaid, just because of these few incidents? My knee-jerk reaction is to say yes, considering I wasn't even given a chance to explain myself, but I'll clamp that knee-jerk reaction down as much as I can, because despite everything, I still personally think the KM discord server and that other discord server still did more good than bad (not by much though), in the grand scheme of things. Those servers allowed for some instances of astounding cross-cultural communication (even if it also allowed rampant western ignorance to thrive), and for what it's worth, there are still good people in this community, despite everything.
And at the end of the day, who am I to hurl hurtful labels towards those who'd hurt me, when I hardly even knew them in the first place (two of them I never even talked to, LOL), and I know to myself that they meant no harm at the end of the day. Even if they certainly didn’t hesitate to throw the label “ableist” at me without a second thought.
It's a serious thing to throw a label like that at someone, even if my own experience as a POC who was dogpiled on by a number of westerners...hmm, let's stop that train of thought.
Getting back on track. Even still, these opinions I hold won't erase the experiences of other POC members in this fandom and in the KM discord server, the hurt they've experienced, nor can I speak for any one of them.
I think the bad habit of knee-jerk reactions—specifically the knee-jerk reaction of those wanting to protect the KM discord server in the way that's perceived to result in the least amount of drama, the gut instinct to not want to be caught in the crossfire, the conscious choice to tolerate such things, for the sake of preserving the safe space that one has left—is pretty much what's dominating the behaviors of people responsible right now.
The mods who run such servers like the KM server and others like it—they're not perfect, but I would have at least expected from them to be more open and proactive to the concerns of its POC members. Perhaps it's too much to expect that they would be equipped to handle very sensitive issues as the ones its POC members experienced, but damn...the bar is quite low, even just to meet the minimum.
And that's the most frustrating thing, to be honest. All this time, in all these various situations for those who’ve spoken out, it's the POC members of the community who are ALWAYS the ones who are pressured to having to give people the benefit of the doubt, to have to be careful of what they say, but NOWHERE in these situations is that sentiment even remotely returned to POC.
It was the POC members affected by the incident in December who had to remain patient with the mods, it was the POC members who had to face the backlash of negativity that happened, it’s the POC members of the community who’ve had to face the accusations of fandom policing, it’s the POC members of the community who have to face daily micro aggressions in this fandom, when all we’ve done is express opinions and our viewpoints.
At the end of the day, it’s POC members of the community who face the repercussions of having spoken out, yet the rest of the westerners in this community have the damn luxury to walk away, unscathed, to think to themselves that they did nothing wrong.
So I’ll be blunt this one time: yes, for the most part, there are good people in this fandom, there are. But even so, not a single one of us here is perfect, we’re all human.
And if I do say so myself, there is indeed quite a desperate need for fandom spaces, not just the KP fandom, to decolonize their ways of operating, starting with: giving POC the benefit of the doubt and actually trying to handle our concerns with some effort.
#KinnPorsche#KimChay#kinnporsche the series#KM discord server#yet again#another piece of Asian queer media#being taken over by westerners#and their callous attitude towards POC#what else is freakin’ new
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