#and so many of us already have PTSD and stuff can we just be more mindful

[bonnie-the-mutt]

I wish more people in the agere community asked to use petnames/nicknames !!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's so freaking uncomfy !!! I'm not ur shnookums lovey pookie bear !!! I'm 6 years old !!!!!! /nm /dra

regression ≠ consent !!!!!!

[thanergetic-hyperlinks]

I know we had a convo over whether or not Harrow saw the body/was « insane » and having just finished the htn reread, I’d like to reopen this discussion. I truly believe she saw the body (she was being haunted ffs) but I don’t believe she had (« other ») hallucinations. This is based off of her conversation with Ortus in the bubble when she’s lucid. Anyways, would love your opinion on that, and also, what do you think happened to Harrow?? I think she completely switched places with Alecto, creating the opposite of harrow in control with Alecto latched on.

Yeah, I agree with you on almost everything. Some of it is only fully confirmed after Nona (I will annotate those clues at the bottom of the post under a cut, to avoid Nona spoilers), but this is the way I understand it, and I'm going to detail it all in case anyone finds it interesting to compare notes:

I think the conversations about spirit magic in Harrow are key. HtN tells us in detail about thanergetic links and revenants and the River, which is vital to the River bubble plotline and the revenant Wake plotline. But we also learn among other things that Harrow kissed Alecto as a kid and her lip froze at the touch and they mixed blood. Alecto then shows up in Harrow's childhood hallucinations.

Harrow is in a really bad mental health state after her parents' death. This triggers her psychosis. By which I mean, Harrow does have schizophrenia, and it works the way the illness works in real life—trauma can lead to really bad episodes. Ortus later suggests “the mind forms indentations” due to trauma (he mentions his own PSTD flashbacks about his father being an abuser, hearing him when he was already dead) but he's not saying that her illness is solely PTSD after her parents' suicide or the Canaan events. And ultimately, Ortus is just suggesting one read of the situation. He isn't an authority on whether Harrow had a preexisting condition. Abigail will kindly to tell Harrow that she is being haunted, but that doesn't mean she's not also insane. Harrow's experience is only her own to define. None of these conversations confirm or deny that Harrow's only being haunted. However, the fragility of her state is implied to make her more likely to see what isn't there… and what is. Madness bringing you closer to What's Beyond The Veil is a common trope in horror stories, too. Abigail is a medium, she'd be unsurprised by this.

The Body in many ways acts like a total hallucination—she seemed to have different personalities depending on Harrow's age—but then we learn that in the Canaan bubble the ghosts had to improv over a certain script/situation, so spirits definitely can show different sides of themselves according to the limitations or needs placed by the summoner. Harrow also only hears the Body speaking with other people's voice and sees her eyes as Drearburh black but that's logical given she never heard her or saw her eyes.

The Body, like most of Harrow's experiences in this book, is carefully written to have multiple readings, for instance as a red herring for Gideon: is she dreaming bits of Gideon through the vessel of the Body, which now has suspiciously golden eyes? Even some of the stuff that only the Body could know, like “I died once… no, twice” could be attributed to Gideon by a determined reader on first read. In the end, however, it doesn't hold up, because later we

learn Gideon has already been poking out through the narrative voice,

see Gideon doesn't think of herself as having died more than once (she hasn't figured out that being God's daughter makes her immortal and brought her back during Avulsion, etc.)

discover that Alecto's eyes were really gold in life, which means this time her hallucination might be even more real than in Harrow's childhood, if there's a difference,

(1. Nona spoiler, check at the bottom).

So my take is that the Body really is Alecto's spirit/consciousness, venturing a little outside the Tomb through the thanergetic link established by Harrow's kiss (2. Nona spoiler, check at the bottom), that she nevertheless is summoned with certain limitations (her own dead/dreaming state, Harrow's knowledge of her appearance and voice, Harrow's needs) and that she finds Harrow available as a conduit because/while she's having psychotic breaks.

Now, did Harrow have other hallucinations? I think she might. The main one is Cytherea's body! Mind you, most of the time we see Wake-in-Cytherea, she's legitimately there, I think. Like the scene in which she walks in a terrifying way towards Harrow's door, like someone who doesn't know how to pilot a corpse yet (but will eventually). No, I'm thinking of the scene with Cytherea's corpse under Harrow's bed. Yes, the one Gideon is mad about, because she saw it through Harrow's eyes and brain. But you see, it's the one appearance of Cytherea that makes no sense whatsoever: she's under Harrow's bed, non-animated, not having triggered any of Harrow's wards, and then after Harrow locks her with bone, when Ianthe looks, the bone is still there and Cytherea isn't. This makes no sense. Wake is not an adept, cannot move Cytherea's body through the River, cannot cross Harrow's bone or blood wards, or leave behind perfectly intact bone cuffs. Ianthe was right: there was nothing there. (There's a post somewhere I tagged as #Ianthe where someone explained Ianthe's psychology in this moment.)

Now, the end scene. It's narrated in a very confusing way cause our three POV protagonists are kinda rubbing souls as they change bodies (that's why, later… (3. Nona spoiler, see at the bottom), but what happens is:

Harrow decides she won't go back to her body cause Gideon might be piloting it.

Harrow takes a Third Option and travels to what looks like the Tomb—but Harrow travels there *in spirit*.

Traveling along the same thanergetic link Alecto rode to her body, Harrow goes to the Tomb—or rather, to the River Bubble of the Tomb where Alecto has been, sleeping—remember, Harrow has no body so she can't be physically travelling through or out of the River. The Tomb is Alecto's own bubble. That's why the chains are broken and the Body is gone, even if in real life Alecto is still there bodily.

In this mind-version of the Tomb, she sees a trace of Gideon represented by a magazine—this Tomb might have been where Gideon's soul was *literally* resting while lyctorized, or it might simply be a representation in Harrow's mind of the fact that Gideon was inside Harrow and she left a bit of herself behind.

Harrow swims to the center moat and lays on the stone bed. By placing herself in the same equivalent space of the bubble where Alecto's body is in the actual Tomb, we're being told she fully inhabits Alecto's body (4. Nona spoiler, see at the bottom). She is, as you said, haunting her back. Because Alecto isn't there but inside Harrow, however, and because River pressure briefly killed Harrow's body until Alecto got in, Gideon is unfortunately yeeted out to the spirit realm, or possibly even back to her own uncorrupted body.

… I am a little concerned I've written all this from memory.

(1) We learn in Nona from Crux that Harrow used to “go away” as a child and claim not to be Harrowhark, so we get confirmation that her psychotic breaks from childhood were real and not just a post-lobotomy new memory—and also possibly she was being possessed then too?

(2) Alecto pledged some kind of vow to Anastasia, and part of it is that Harrowhark is a direct descendant of hers. Alecto realizes this in the Nona epilogue simply from “kissing” Harrow and tasting her blood a second time. Could Alecto have partly awakened, and therefore found a way to haunt Harrow in childhood, precisely because she already exchanged blood with Anastasia in preparation for her needing to haunt her way out of the Tomb in the future through one of her descendants?

(3) Nona regularly dreams of seeing herself come to Harrow's body through Gideon's eyes, but also possibly is mixing it with the Pool Scene?

(4) Alecto describes the stone bed as comfortable when remembering her first lying down on it, because she finds it very hard to have a spine (as I lay in bed with a TENS machine on, I fear this is very relatable). Harrow experiences the stone as infinitely confortable, like a welcoming bed. This is because she's connecting to Alecto's psychical body's perception, I think). Of course, in the John chapters of Nona, we see that Harrow is accessing Alecto's dreams. In these dreams, John seems to be not a fiction but the real bit of soul he put in Alecto. The dialogue is devoid of quote marks when the memories play as they originally went, but quote marks appear when John and Harrow break the script to have impromptu digressions, with John seemingly confused about who he's talking to in a sort of dreamlike way, leading to the “J+H” moment, and the final chapter happens on the River bank exiting the dream, in present time, no longer inside Alecto's mind.

[cryingprincess13]

So, you know this awkward moment when your hyperfixation ends and you realize that media was kinda actually bad? For me it was season 2 of Arcane.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love this show, it gave me an unforgettable emotions and, like, one of the longest hyper-fixations. But now, when I look back, it's just... so weird.

Season 2 sucked and it needs to be pointed out. If the first season was as close to reality as possible, giving us relatable characters in a kind of unreal world where you could understand everyone, even if they were a terrible drug lord, the second season gave us Marvel-esque reunion of every single character fighting one big evil with “friendship is magic” kind of end. They also added so much of unnecessary stuff??

-the prison caitvi sex

- episode 7

-black rose stuff without adding proper explanation

- Zaun trio backstory (which is once again just makes their timeline and episode 3 of s1 even more weird.)

Etc. etc. all of it was clearly a fan service, I’m sorry. Like, I did liked all of it, but if you gave me the choice between having all of em couple reunions and actually good written and placed season at the same level as the first one? My choice will be clear.

Season 1 was weaved and paced very well with its plot and characters. In season 2, they turn most characters into complete idiots for the sake of sprinting through the plot. The plot itself is paced in what can probably be described as “wonky” at best. It’s not good. There are far too many plot holes that just aren’t addressed. They completely forgot about the actual plot of the story (Zaun/Pilties conflict) and apparently made it just angst part for caitvi??? Don’t even get me started on how fucked up Vi was in this season. Like you made her a fighter whose whole world now is around her girlfriend and/or sister happiness and then, when one of them going to end herself she just makes out in a prison cell??? Like in the place where she supposed to have some kind of ptsd and where her sister was literally a hour ago? They made her enforcer like in game but never actually gave us how she came to it.

Viktor? Lmao now he’s a Jesus. Like for what you changed the perfect concept of actual machine herald?

Same with Jinx. She was so inconsistent this season. Here’s she depressed, oh here she’s manic again, hey, look, here’s a child who somehow gonna make her as sane as she could be, we gonna kill her of course and never mention her again AT ALL. As a psychology student, no child in the word could possibly made season 1 Jinx or Jinx at all sane. Even in depression state. Isha was so clearly made to be a plot device it’s actually hurts.

They also got a little too indulgent with the music videos this time as well. Zaun revolution? Jinx trying to off herself and literally burning last drop down? They could make it so deep of an episode but here we are again with the mv. Every plot important line was given just as a music video. Was fun the first two times, now give me actual conversations please.

The ending? Did I mention marvel already? Also the (not)killing off Jinx was such a stupid decision. Warwick can heal himself, they know it clearly but apparently Jinx just need to sacrifice herself and then Vander just gone at all lmao.

It's not just the pacing and the amount of new plots that make season 2 bad. It was confirmed that a lot of the writers from season 1 didn't work on season 2 and it shows. And you know what? I can tell.

[yourfckngkarma]

NINA AS THE ABSOLUTE BADASS SHE IS 😭❤️‍🔥

!!!! THIS OC BELONGS TO @dissvicious !!!

I FOUND A PREFERENCE IMAGE AND THOUGHT IT WOULD FIT HER SO WELL! 😭😭🙏🏼 Hope it’s ok that I drew her 🥺

Hope you like it! I LOVE HER SCARS AND STRETCH MARKS, they remind me of mine 🥺 Have also a large c- section scar from my daughter 😇

Okay, but this—this right here is art in its purest form. Look at Nina, sitting there like the absolute badass she is, rocking that outfit, biting through the pain with a grin that says, Yeah, life sucks, but I’m still here, aren’t I? And that’s exactly why I love her. Somehow, I can really identify with Nina—maybe that’s why she speaks to me so deeply. I really feel her pain.

I’m 25 now, and if I’m honest, life has thrown me through the wringer more times than I can count. But six years ago, when I got pregnant with my daughter, I made the decision to get clean. No more everything, just some daily weed—because, as my doctors call it, it’s “self-medication.” That, plus a couple of happy pills, helps me navigate life with borderline, PTSD, an eating disorder, social anxiety, and ADHD, ect. Yeah, it’s a lot, but here I am, still trying to figure things out—especially after two kids and a four-year relationship that ended with CPS getting involved. Why? Because my doctor failed to diagnose me with hyperemesis gravidarum during pregnancy. Like… SEE?!

And that’s why I wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH. You gave me the courage to finally start posting my art stuff, and because of that, I’ve already met so many cute, amazing people that I never would’ve found otherwise! It’s crazy how art and stories bring people together in ways we never expect.

I also won’t lie—seeing people call out Nina’s way of coping kind of stung, because I get it. When life keeps throwing you into the deep end, you grab onto whatever you can to stay afloat. And even now, after everything, I’m still learning, still struggling, still figuring out how to exist in a world that doesn’t always feel like it was made for people like me. But Nina? She’s a reminder that we’re not alone in that fight.

To YOU —I know you’ve been feeling off lately, but I hope you know there are people out here who genuinely appreciate your comics and your OC. Nina means something to people, and so do you. Thank you for sharing her with us. 😭❤️‍🔥

BY THE WAY!! I saw you reposted CAFFEINE! Well, THIS SONGS RUNS 24/7 IN THIS HOUSE since two days 😹🙏🏼 Good music taste 😌🥰

[vaguely-concerned]

ingellvar must have so many strange off-putting little personal habits in their day to day life that they don't even realize come across as weird, especially if they haven't ever dated outside of the watchers much. in rye's specific case I think lucanis has a capacity for such immaculate 'sure my life is already so fucking weird this might as well happen' energy that I believe he'd be able to roll with the punches admirably given the time, but it really would be a situation like

(what was going on there was that rook was placing down some experimental wards, by the way, it's what he does to calm down before bed and if he wakes during the night. what with the necropolis itself being a liminal space of lf sorts on a cosmic scale, watchers take the additional liminal space between wakefulness and dreaming extremely seriously b/c they know there are things drifting through that would just love to get their foot/tentacle/conceptual spores in that particular half-ajar door that should not be allowed inside. or outside, I suppose, depending on your point of view. rook and lucanis are also experimenting with whether solid wards can help any with lucanis' weird post-spite dreams even if they can't do anything for the more mundane ptsd ones. third reason because in my worldstate they still live in the lighthouse after the game: unless gently dissuaded wisps will sometimes drift by while you're asleep and hover over your face curiously as they sense your mind doing stuff in the fade, and no one likes waking up on an eldritch sneeze with a well-meaning yet terrified wisp zooming about the room. important watcher novice 101 lessons.

blessed mental image of rye cross-legged on the floor, barefoot in his PJs with his hair down and no makeup, peaceably tracing out elaborate geometric shapes that somehow make your eyes scared when you look at them* while lucanis sits on the bed and reads out loud to both him and spite and occasionally sneaks some carnal looks at rook's fully unleashed curly hair and bare wrists & throat...... okay I think I've found the thing that will help me through the day thank you for coming on this journey with me)

*what is the paint he's using made out of and why is it such a deeply unsettling colour? don't worry about it! :) patented mostly well-meaning yet also borderline condescending mortalitasi hand wave of 'don't worry your sweet little non-nevarran head about it we both know you don't actually want to know. do not ask questions lest you learn the answers, especially if you're going to be annoying at me and freak out about it. let the things man was not meant to know stay unknown. unknown by you I mean I'm built different'

[whohasthecards]

Bradley, Bob, & Jake as Brothers

Just imagining the dynamic if these three because of the Dagger Squad and Mav and Ice began started to bond.

Bradley: An only child who was suddenly given 2 baby brothers.

Goose and Carol's only son, became a Mama's boy

After Goose died, the class of '86 helped chip in to raise him, meaning before they settled in with their own families he got the attention of so many uncles.

Mav of course took the most active role, basically being the father-figure to Bradley after Goose died. Bradley sees him more as a dad than Goose, that's why it hurt so much when Mav pulled his papers.

Then suddenly, the mission happened, they turn into a permanent squadron, and wow is Mav bringing Jake and Bob around more and more.

Hmmm, so Bob's former squadron giving him some trouble? No they're not.

Goddammit, Jake, give that back, right now!

Bradley: Hangman's the worst, selfish prick (Jake ate his leftovers). Some guy: Yeah, the guy's a fucking selfish assho- Bradley: What the fuck did you just say?

Bob: The youngest child given an older brother that actually pays attention to him and a younger brother that he needs to protect.

Big age difference between him and his siblings, he's the baby, was born when his siblings were already teenagers and young adults, focused on their own lives than him.

He was spoiled and loved by his family though, but they couldn't give him a lot of time and attention. His siblings were building their own lives, his parents were getting older, and he was an "easy kid". Bob was quiet, easy to please, easy to ignore.

When he said he wanted to join the Navy, his family was not supportive and doubted his ability. Deeply hurt him.

Then Bradley came, who would actually listen to him. Ruffle his hair and offer to hang out with him. They would play instruments together and stuff. Who defended him against his former squadron when they were making fun of him.

Then there was Jake who loved poking fun at him, but never in a mean way. Who would forget to eat when he was busy or having fun, making him have to shove fruit snacks in his mouth. Who would simultaneously teach and make fun of him when playing pool.

Bob: Come on, Rooster, not the hair (Bob rolled his eyes as Bradley ruffled his hair) Bradley: Awww, you're taking after Jakey, caring about your hair so much. Bob: Well, we actually want to look presentable (scrunches his nose at Bradley's Hawaiian shirt) Bradley: How rude.

Jake: The forcibly responsible, yet ignored middle-child, being given 2 older brothers who are protective of him, and finally gives him the chance to be free.

Jake is the middle child, have two older siblings and one younger sibling. His parents were neglectful, did not care enough.

He and his siblings used to be tight, but due to circumstances falls apart.

His older brother is a Navy SEAL, but suffers from PTSD, when he's on leave, he gets into trouble and drinks too much. He has to bail his brother out a couple of times.

His older sister began to be distant, he doesn't know where she is, she sends money and calls every now and then, but she started a new life. Whenever Jake asks for help, she refuses, claiming that Jake is strong and smart enough, that he can do it. (Jake simultaneously can't blame her and is resentful of her)

His younger sister needs financial support since she's just a teenager, she's in college right now and Jake is extremely proud of her. Just lonely as well. She's doing well for herself, Jake wants to protect her innocence. He acts more like her dad than their dad ever was.

Jake always has to be the rock, steady and strong. He's just tired.

He's a twenty-something, and he wants to be a twenty-something, careless and free. Fuck up and have fun every once in a while.

Then Bradley and Bob comes in.

He can't help but allow himself to play around with them, mess with them, tease them. They make him let his guard down, it's fun being around them, he's not responsible of them outside of being their teammate.

And they actually pay attention to him, and dote over him. He grumbles about them being overprotective or being too much of a mother hen, but he's sad whenever they hesitate to ruffle his hair, wondering if they were overstepping.

Maybe one day, he'll tell them about his family.

Jake (sinks 8-ball in): HAH! I won this game Bobert, pay up Bob (rolls his eyes as he pushes the cup of peanuts towards Jake): Eat up, you mean. Bradley (Ruffles Jake's hair): You gotta let him win once in a while. Jake (pouts): But how will he learn? And plus, how else would I be able to get some peanuts?

[foone]

Alright, listen up:

We need to stop with the anti-rooting attitude for brainpals, alright? You're just doing mnemonocorps job for them. Cut out the discourse about people with modded brainpals, for TF's sake.

(scifi worldbuilding by way of fictional Tumblr discourse under the cut)

There's tons of valid reasons for by people would hack their brainpals! Testing new memory/skills without paying for a dev kit, piracy of skills (and do not @ me with that "but you're stealing from the original skill creator!" bullshit. All the legit skills on the market now are from people who did work for hire by mnemonocorps, and THEY ALREADY WERE PAID. It's only mnemonocorps that is losing money!), home ptsd/cptsd/jptsd treatment, the list is endless.

And before you jump into the comments, YES I KNOW PEOPLE DO SEXUAL MEMORY PLAY. People do every kind of weird shit, name me a technology that no one has used for sex in some way? Hell, the first topless photo was taken within a week of the invention of the daguerreotype. But we need to be adults here, okay? These things can be simultaneously true:

1. People do memory play

2. No kids have memorypals

3. The vast major of memory play is NOT VP.

Mnemonocorps has done a lot of work to try to keep people from using brainpals for memory pal, with their artificial limits on how much you can block at once, but that's fundamentally an over reaction to the negative press from the whole VP scandal. The news loves a juicy story like "people are using a new technology for weird sex shit" because their readers/viewers are always interested in Weird Sex Shit, either because "ooh, sexy!" or "BAN THIS FILTH" reactions.

And like all big companies, the last thing mnemonocorps wants is a new law aimed specifically at regulating them! So they stuck a bunch more restrictions on brainpals so they could say they have taken steps to prevent VP.

Now, I need you to listen to me before I say this: I am NOT saying I condone VP, alright? I'm not going like "oh but no one is hurt, everyone is (technically) adults, it's basically roleplay"? This is not an excuse for VP, alright?

Memory play is not just VP, and it's deeply insulting to everyone who engages in memory play to conflate the two!

The reasons people would do memory play are many and varied, as are the things that people do with memory play. And I think people are extra quick to jump on the "memory play is bad" bandwagon not just because of the spectre of VP, but because it's all "eww, kinky sex things".

And yes, I'm not going to try to sugarcoat memory play, alright? There's a lot of weird stuff going on there, and it definitely isn't for everyone. But the thing y'all need to keep in mind is that it's between consensual adults and they (usually*) know what they're doing, okay?

It's safe and mind healthy and consensual. (yes I know these are the same arguments the veepers use to definite VP but I'm not talking about VP here, damn it!).

People can do CNC play with mblocks. People can do roleplay with temporary personality patches, either because they're too awkward/shy/whatever to have sex or because they (or their partners) want to do some vcheating. All these are perfectly safe if done correctly and don't hurt anyone. Especially not you, who aren't even involved in their memory play!

And I promise the slippery slope argument is bullshit: even if people use mblocks to age regress, that doesn't make it VP, alright? There's plenty of people (especially us elderly trans who missed out on a gender-correct early adulthood. (I wasn't able to get genespliced until I was nearly 60!). If I want to experience how my 25-year-old self would have had sex as a girl, that's my own god damn business! And it's not VP and it hurts no one. And all these non-vp uses of memory play are completely blocked by the stock brainpal software, because of their heavy handed approach to trying to prevent VP.

But with this whole stigma against hacking brainpals means that if I ever even mention I've got mine modded, people immediately start side-eying me because they think the only reason anyone would want to hack their brainpal is VP.

No! Piracy of skills and mblocks and yes, memory play. Which isn't entirely VP, even if it keeps getting tarred with that brush.

The piracy argument you'd think would be an easier one to make. I know half of you have all the PS6 ROMs downloaded onto your tangles. How are you gonna steal half the video games on the iarchive and then turn around and say it's wrong to download fluent-Japanese or woodworking to your brainpal? Come on.

Basically my whole point is that mnemonocorps has done a great job convincing the general public to associate illicit (by their rules) brainpal use with VP, and it's solely because they know the average person (rightly, I would add) thinks VP is abhorrent. They're using that disgust to turn the general opinion against the idea of brainpal modding.

And look, look me in my eye, do you really think mnemonocorps is doing this because they genuinely think VP is bad and want the public to help them stop it by shunning people who hack their brainpals? Or is it, just maybe, because they don't want to lose trillions of n$ on skill piracy? And they're just using VP as an excuse?

It's like, come on gals. No one ever went broke assuming companies are acting out of the most basic capitalistic greed, because THEY ALWAYS ARE.

And don't get me started on the people clitriding mnemonocorps for inventing the brainpal in the first place. Look, we all love the brainpal, yes, but it's not like you owe them endless loyalty over it, okay? They can and have done wrong in the past. Accept that you can love the work and hate the company trying to control it.

(it's like: is Thomas Chellae an abusive asshole who should not be out of crimrehab? Yes of course, no question. Is Shadowed Skies the best album of the last 30 years? Also yes! It can be both! Bad people can make good things)

Anyway: end of the day, stop bringing up VP every time anything involving brainpal modding comes up. Don't judge people for modding their brainpals.

(especially since half the problem people have with memory play isn't VP, it's just y'all being antisex. Which is bullshit given how many people subscribe to those "expert oral sex" skills! You're using your brainpal to have better sex, then turning around and going "but I'd never use it for WEIRD sex!". Grow TF the fuck up!)

Also, just because I know someone would bring it up, the whole mind control thing is A MYTH. There have never been any legitimate cases of people getting hacked through their brainpals, hacked or not, okay? I mean, who knows what the nsa or uhsa can do, but no one has ever been able to demonstrate a remote hack on a brainpal. Anyone being "mind controlled" through their brainpal did it to themselves, either with a ppatch or intentionally routing their admin to someone else. "you'll get hacked and turned into a bpZombie!" is a bullshit reason to be against brainpal hacking: it simply does not happen. I used to be a rengineer, I've looked into the brainpal security: it's well done!

* Yeah, Adrian Reach was a tragic case, but it was definitely a million-to-one case. Make your backups, run the ccheck, and don't try to mblock your whole damn life on a failing bp! You'll be fine.

EDIT: I forgot to elaborate on the "no kids have brainpals" thing: yes, I know there are some kids who do have them, BUT they're not the same as regular brainpal installs. They're only done in some extreme cases of mental distress (like survivors of the cWar) and they're locked down. Only their doctor can adjust them, it's not like regular consumer brainpals where you can just fiddle with the settings themselves. So all this memory play stuff we're talking about is only between adults. REAL adults, alright? Even when people are doing VP, everyone involved is of age.

[bibbibib]

Peeta's amputation

One of the things I really wish we'd gotten more information for in the books was the impact of Peeta losing his leg. On himself, on his habits, his reactions, anything really. We don't even know how badly he took it because around that time all Katniss was able to describe was him (understandably) being just happy to have survived it all along with her, plus he was putting on a brave face throughout the interviews, and maybe even in front of her so she would feel less guilty. And, I get it, most of the stuff I'm going to mention is just slice of life and maybe not that important as plot points, but I find them super interesting, for the perspective if anything.

Would Peeta's self-esteem take another deep dive after that? With everything happening during that time (moving out of his parents' house, his falling out with Katniss, being viewed differently by the rest of the district, living alone and possibly lonely, his romantic hopes crushed, PTSD from the Games, etc etc etc) he had a lot of triggers seemingly supporting those thoughts of being useless and uneeded and generally not good enough.

It's so frustrating to lose a limb and have to basically relearn everything from the beginning. How to navigate stairs, how to get in and out of a sitting position, how to balance and not tip over, stuff you've been doing esentially your whole life. And Peeta was athletic, he worked manually, he trusted himself to be capable of doing physical things, so that might have hurt a little more.

How about medical complications? From weird sensations to nerve pain, possibly phantom pains, everything related to his prosthetic leg (which, depending on the type, can get uncomfortable in sooo many ways, especially since he's still a teenager who's growing). And he was dumped at a place with basically no medical care at all, let alone anything specialized. Which, ok, was part of everyone's life in D12 already, but it must have still left a bitter taste... There was no one around to know much about his state, (exept maybe Ripper the liquor seller) and he had to make do on his own.

What if the Capitol had chosen his prosthetic more for aesthetic functions and less for functional? @whenthewallfell has a fantastic post about it, complete with illustrations!

Peeta's artificial foot getting tangled in the vines in the second arena and impeding his ability to run was no funny business. With prosthetic legs, there's usually different kinds for different functions. Your average foot people use to be able to walk is stiff and does a horrible job at supporting these sorts of activities. That's why equipment like running blades exists for amputees who want to be running and jumping. And you have to switch to that before the activity! Peeta apparently never got one. Even if he had, he would have to carry the alternative equipment around in the arena.

Speaking of that, even with a single type of artificial leg/foot, adjustments are frequently needed throughout the day. Most people as far as I understand remove the prosthetic to sleep, but also ball -and-socket models at least move around and need to be put back in place because it gets uncomfortable (sleeves -stump covers- sliding down, etc). The fact that Katniss never mentioned anything like this means that either he was actively not doing it in front of her or she just doesn't wanna talk about it (or maybe his leg is some fancy Capitol tech that doesn't work that way?)

Also, he's got to be hungry. All the time. He needs more food after the amputation, because the rest of his body is compensating for the lost limp and he has to use different muscles/nerves/tendons/etc. that are not designed spesifically for this. The same thing means he gets tired more easily. So Peeta being that active and training for the Quarter Quell while battling insomnia and nightmares with an amputated leg? Even harder than we thought.

[cripplecharacters]

hi! I’m tryi be to write a fantasy book. Most of my characters are disabled for several reasons. For example, 2 of them are written very clearly autistic, because I am*. One of those also has adhd and trauma, and the other also has c-ptsd. My question is pertaining a different character. He is a cyborg. I want to make this a species in my book, but I’m not sure how to go about it. I am also considering making it a catch-all term used in my fantasy world for those who are given prosthetics. Anyway. I want cyborgs to have a culture and stuff like that. How would you recommend you about this? If this isn’t worded very clearly or more details are necessary, please let me know and I’ll elaborate. Thank you. /all genuine *i am not diagnosed, unfortunately

Hey,

[standard disclaimer that we don't have amputee mods]

Please don't make any kind of disabled people into a separate species. What you're describing as a species are literally just amputees. They are very much human and suggesting otherwise is dehumanization. Losing a leg doesn't turn you into a different kind of being.

Don't shy away from using the actual words, just like "disabled" is not a bad word, so isn't "amputee". Same as how autistic people are humans with autism, not [different species] with [sci-fi word].

Making a culture is an interesting topic, since in the disability context, pretty much only Deaf and DeafBlind people are considered to have a culture in the traditional sense. Three main factors are involved in it; one, these often run in families, so there can be generations of people involved and passing the culture and language, two, there are schools designed for Deaf and DeafBlind people that help them connect with each other, and three, the disability directly impacts communication so they have their respective languages, which tends to be an important part of cultures in general. How would the amputee culture of your setting work? Amputation is rarely genetic and not that common, many amputees don't know a whole many other amputees. What would their culture be based on? Amputees will often become disabled later in life, many of them would already have their own communities. How much would different members have in common with each other to create a whole culture? A mobility aid in the form of a prosthetic didn't result in there being prosthesis culture in real life, nor it did for any other mobility aid. I'm not saying they can't have their own culture, but I just don't see how it would come to appear in the setting.

As mentioned earlier, we don't have amputee mods, and it would be helpful to work with a sensitivity reader who is one if you're planning to make a whole culture centering people with a particular disability.

mod Sasza

Hello, thank you for your ask!

A cyborg would not be a different species since they are still part human, and an amputee would especially not be a different species, they are still human and exist as human in the real world. A different species would be something like full robots or ‘humans’ with extremely modified dna to the point that they cannot be classified under homo sapien. To exclude someone from the human species because of their disability would be dehumanization, and I would recommend against it!

Calling everyone who uses a prosthetic a cyborg in a futuristic setting isn’t a bad idea [cyborgs in media are basically just amputees with robotic body modifications], but remember not all prosthetics are robotic, especially leg/foot prosthetics.

As for them having their own culture, I actually like the idea! Just note the culture wouldn’t come from being separated from other groups of people like how historical cultures formed, but rather a culture within the larger culture. In a world where prosthetics are more robotic there would probably be forums and workshops, people passing tips for clustering wires and what joint attachments work the smoothest and what repair shops are affordable. Basically people brought together by something they share, but not isolated from the outside world, if that makes sense.

And as always remember, cybernetic prosthetics aren’t perfect replacements! Here is a post that elaborates on that specifically:

https://www.tumblr.com/cripplecharacters/764893470773084160

Have a lovely day!

Mod Rot

[myobsessions247]

Hello it's me the guy from the hexsquad ask, I'm back with more questions!!

1: Did Hunter ever try to escape before he was converted into a toy? He would have had his teleport move, and we know from "For The Future" thanks to Willow's vines that he can use the spell to move through solid objects like say the door to a cell. I know we all like to joke about Hunter just being a bad but sad boy, but he is a trained soldier, he knows how to fight, and is probably more than a match for a bunch of human realm security guards.

2: Does Hunter still have his teleport move after he was converted into a toy? If the answer is no, I'm going to resurrect every single playtime co employee and kill them again because how dare they take Flapjack's last gift to Hunter away from him!!!!

3: Did the doctor oversee Hunter's conversion into a toy or had he already been replaced by that point? If he did oversee the conversion then Luz gets to kill at least one of the bastards who took her brother away from her.

4: Did Luz bring Stringbean with her to the factory? In the comic you make of Luz reuniting with Hunter, she doesn't have a grab-pack, so she has to be using something else to get passed all the locked doors and stuff. I can just see Luz and Hunter coming to a locked door and Hunter being all: we need to find the three pieces of the password to open this door. And then Luz just blasts the door down with Stringbean.

And finally not really a question, just more of an observation: out of all the bigger body experiments, Hunter is the one most likely to have a happy ending. Think about it, all the other experiments' familys are dead at this point, they can't go outside with how they look and not to mention their "dietary restrictions", but Hunter not only still has living family members (not Belos, he doesn't count because he's smelly), but no one on the boiling isles is going to look twice at a giant red wolf man eating raw meat.

Oh boy, that is a lot of well thought out questions! :)

1. There is a lot of struggle regarding Hunter and all of the guards. But he is like thousands of feet underground in a high secure prison, there are not many chances to try to escape; plus he’d be easily outnumbered and they have their ways to get these “creatures” to behave. And the food rations are not fulfilling, so he’s weak, outnumbered, in a high secured area… it’s unlikely.

2. Hunter was placed into another body, the essence of Flap sadly did not transfer too, though maybe the reason Hunter is fine after the conversion was because of him. The main point is he does not have his dash ability.

3. I like to think that with Hunter’s need to just, be good and obedient (the ptsd and formality from the emperor’s coven really is shining through…) the Doctor, like with Yarnaby, would love using him. (*COUGH COUGH COUGH*POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER AND THE NEED TO BE PERFECT REALLY SHINING THOUGH!*COUGH COUGH COUGH*)

Heh… so yeah, there were some interactions.

4. I honestly just forgot that she would have it… Either Luz has Stringbean in her fanny pack, or she left her at home so she won’t get hurt. For “gameplay” having Stringbean at home and using the grabpack, but your scenario is really funny lol

And lastly, your question but not:

Yep.

And Hunter still can eat normal things, I just interpret the hungry toys had nothing else to eat but the people they killed yk?

Thank you so much for the ask, I really love that people love this au! <3

[not-poignant]

Can you tell me which of the alphas and omegas in UtB are extroverted and which are introverted? I think all the alphas are extroverts and the omegas are introverts? Is Faber extroverted?

Hi anon,

I don't really find introvert/extravert to be super useful terms, overall, because a lot of what seems like introversion is sometimes neurodivergence or social anxiety etc. and sometimes what seems like extraversion is like hyperactive ADHD etc. and people change throughout their lives and this stuff tends to exist on a spectrum.

That being said, I think we can actually see from the stories that it's definitely not true that all omegas are introverts and all alphas are extraverts even from the classic definition.

And going from the classic definition, we'll define as: Introverts - energise by being alone, thrive on their own, do well working for themselves. Extraverts - energise when with people thrive in large social network, do well in teams. Like, you can already immediately see that Gary is an introvert by the classic definition, and he's a peak alpha.

We can't really quantify the omegas we meet because they all have PTSD to varying degrees, and it's not really correct to say a person is an introvert when their way of socialising is generated by trauma and intense social anxiety. Because that person might then become someone who does energise around others, as they heal.

Very broadly I'd say that Gary, Augus, Kent, and Anton are all introverts of the alphas. I'd add Crielle and Lludd to that as well, even though we don't meet them much.

Janusz, Temsen, Efnisien, and Ash are all extraverts of the alphas. (Efnisien's extraversion is to the point that Gary finds it pretty bemusing, that he talks about Efnisien's like 'social tour' after they have a few days of sex together, where Efnisien literally re-energises by spending day after day socialising with many people, lol, meanwhile Gary is totally happy and energised being alone, or alone + one safe person that he can feel sort of alone with lol).

Of the omegas, we actually never meet any that well, outside of Nate and Flitmouse (though we'll be meeting Corbyn soon enough as well), so it's really not fair to draw any conclusions from a sample size that small. Nate is more ambivert, I'd say, at his healthiest. That's why he does so well in FFS in the choir, a side choir, and running a poetry group etc.

Flitmouse I think actually leans towards extraversion. He likes seeking out different conversational partners, he's never shown any signs of being drained by social settings beyond what's caused by specific anxieties around trauma, and he's honestly pretty chatty. We've seen him liven up specifically around strangers and new people, and enjoy driving out of Hillview for work.

Someone wanting to be alone because they're scared is not true introversion, and that's important to remember. And likewise, someone socialising a ton just because they're high-masking and really good at it, doesn't make them an extravert.

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Bad Batch 3.1 ‘Confined’ Recap

Image from this post by @isthereanechoinhere96

Fuck you for starting with that line

Why are the captions in a serif font?

Going heavy on the theme of freedom for the clones already in the recap. Foreshadowing?

Rex!

CODY

Meme by u/No-Needleworker5295 on Reddit

Ah fuck here we go again

Why must I be made to relive this?

Damn the music is really hitting hard and it’s only the recap

Spoilers for Season 3 below!

Mayday! *sobs*

Oh great, it’s fuck face again

Hemlock being a bastard as per usual

Poor Omega

“Prisoner? Omega, you are no such thing.” Said to the child kept in a cage.

Still not trusting and heavily side eyeing Emerie

Why do they let Omega carry around a little lunchbox? That seems like an obvious security risk. As does the cell with a window, even if it has a heavy grate on it.

LMAO Crosshair looks the saddest, wettest, most bedraggled little meow meow in existence

Who are those other clones??? I must know

Why are they taking blood samples from the top of the hand? That seems like the least useful place to take it from

“All of us serve a purpose here” Big oof

The shots and framing are making it pretty clear that the blood, and Omega's blood in particular, is important

So many commandos with the glowing visors

Oh, it’s a door scanner. I thought Omega was sitting in a cell in that shot in the trailer

Nala Se (derogatory)

Lmao that wasn’t even subtle. She just destroyed Omega’s blood sample without even hiding what she was doing

“This research, it’s not like what we did on Kamino, is it?” Pretty sure what you did on Kamino was just as horrific. Though you can’t really blame Omega for that seeing as she’s a literal child who was also probably experimented on

M-count. That’s midi-chlorians isn’t it. Lol they aren’t even being subtle about this. Force sensitive clones ahoy!

“Experiments on the specimens” Jesus H Christ

Vault? That doesn’t bode well

Everything about this episode is very eerie and sinister

Ok that is an excessive, overkill amount of security. Who the fuck is in there?

And straight into electrocuting space dogs. Great.

I knew the lunchbox was for hiding something!

Batcher? Aw, she named them after the Bad Batch

Yes, stick your arm into the cage with the aggressive space dog. That’s a good idea

Nuggies???

He was shivering T_T

Who are all of these clones??? I keep pausing the video and zooming in but I can’t see any identifying characteristics on any of them yet. 

And there he is

Oh fuck Crosshair’s hand is shaking. I know most people have probably watched the clip of this already but I deliberately didn’t. Shaking hands for a sniper is Not Good. That’s his right hand too, so presumably his trigger hand/finger/whatever it’s called? Is this a physical injury inflicted on him by their experiments or PTSD or both?

I’m intrigued at how much relative freedom they’re giving Omega. She’s not being kept in a cell all the time like the other clones. Though I suppose this is part of their plan to make Nala Se cooperate.

Ok the tap dripping in Omega’s cell is definitely a visual metaphor for how repetitive, dreary, and isolating this all is

That’s 21 tally marks

Oh, she made a straw Lula. Ow

[shrieking in distance] – what shrieking? Captions, what are you going on about?

Oh fuck that’s a lot of tally marks. And a hair change. Lots of time has clearly passed. They’ve updated Omega’s model too but I think it’s a tad heavy handed as she hasn’t aged that much.

Wow, she didn’t even look at Crosshair. Is this attitude change Omega being ground down by what’s happening to her or something she’s doing deliberately to try and play along and be more cooperative so she can find out about more stuff? Also, that’s the second time she’s walked past Crosshair in the same spot at the same time of the day. That seems deliberate. 

Lol could you be any more obvious with the lighting in that shot that Omega’s blood is important? It’s like the vial of her blood has a moody spotlight on it. Important plot point here!

Nooooo Batcher’s hurt 😭

Bacta sponge?

“If I get the chance to escape, I wouldn’t think twice about leaving you behind.” Hmmm, you keep telling yourself that Crosshair

“I’m not them.” T_T

“Don’t risk anything for me. I belong in here.” Oooooooooowwwwwwwww

“None of us belong in here.” Damn right

There is some really lovely cinematography and framing in this scene between Omega and Crosshair

Well that was brutal and heavy handed

A successful transfer? A successful transfer of what?

The “specimen” has a high M-count. So they’re force sensitive. Now for the speculation on who it is?

“You should not question my loyalty to science, Doctor.” LMAO bitch what?

Urgh, of course they’re killing the dog once it’s friendly

Ahahaha squished

Aw, she’s setting Batcher free but she doesn’t want to go. 

“I didn’t know you were so cruel, Omega.” Oh fuck right off

Piss weak attempt to help there Emerie

Hemlock getting his evil baddie laugh moment

Clever. Omega knows why she’s here.

Urgh, of course Hemlock would threaten Crosshair to get Omega to cooperate.

Re-education?!?!?! You sick fuck

“Actions always have consequences. Sometimes not in the ways we imagine.” I am really hoping that line comes back to bite him in the ass later on

Oh fuck off with bring back the doll Emerie. That is such a bait to try and get Omega to like her and behave

That’s 164 tally marks. Omega’s been on Mount Tantiss for 5 and a half months

Aw, Batcher made it out. And that’s the crashed shuttle from earlier that she’s howling on the top of. More foreshadowing?

[freddie-77-ao3]

Gonna use the ask box for this 🙃 ask 1/? (I have so many questions, though you have answered so many already)

What are your thoughts on Trials of Apollo, and the characters?

go ahead and keep asking!!! i love your questions!!

ANYWAY

gonna start smaller with characters:

lavinia: the jewish thing wasn't handled completely correctly (just a couple of small things there) but overall 10/10 character. i think she's hilarious and her official artwork ROCKS.

meg: i love her. she seems a little immature for twelve years old TO ME but i also had a... rather abnormal upbringing so that might explain the differences. overall she was a great character and i LOVE the demeter rep (my thoughts on how riordan treated demeter take five pages to clarify so-- basically) love seeing it-- demeter was a kronide and her kids should be treated as such! great character development. peaches was also hilarious (as was crotch-kicker mccaffrey)

lester: calling him lester to separate between godly apollo and post toa apollo. again, fantastic character development. he's so fucking funny. like he does some really dumb stuff at the start of the series (swearing to not use a musical instrument and stuff?? LESTER MAN CMON) his and meg's relationship is so sweet-- and kayla and austin with him? chefs kiss. love apollo kids getting some time with their dad.

jason: absolutely got fridged. i've already touched on my suicide theory so i won't go into that here but basically i think we shoulda seen jason similar to percy (very minor, doing his own thing behind the scenes) but alas.

piper: the shel thing was a bit sudden. don't get me wrong, i'm ALL for queer rep (i think there should be more of it in the books actually) but-- going straight from breaking up with jason to jason sacrificing himself for her to a relationship seems really unhealthy. i think she should have a chance to grow outside of a relationship.

reyna: joining the hunt was a bad end for her. since when was that an ambition of hers? she seemed genuinely happy in new rome and called it her home multiple times in HoO and going from that to the hunt? idk seems like rick doesn't know how to write characters NOT be in a relationship (piper, reyna, leo... they all get squared away)

leo: oh leo baby he didn't get to see jason before he died??? so heartbreaking. didn't belong in a relationship with calypso. the punching thing was weird when he came back to camp-- esp with a character who has a history of physical abuse

frank: i love the frank deciding his own fate thing but also idk seems like a cop out.

hazel: shouldn't have just become praetor i mean cmon. i love her but she's what, 14 now? no way.

Nico: FINALLY ONE OF THE CHARACTERS CANONICALLY GETS THERAPY. the doctors note is--

will: solangelo flirting is hilarious 10/10. "do you want to be my buddy?" "significant annoyance" i can't breathe. also poor will for putting up with apollo in the hidden oracle because i could not help my dad learn how to use the toilet i'm sorry but that shit is crazy.

malcolm: why is malcolm going to battle without pants on so funny to me i just-- 10/10 i love him.

connor: such a dumbass. the hair grafts 😭. i feel bad that travis isn't there and then communication lines go down like oh buddy :(

cecil: see me RUNNING with the knowledge cecil can cook

other small stuff:

love the waystation, always been my personal hc that there's more than just that one but that's for another post.

percabeth finally making it to college!!!

speaking of which AT WHAT TIME DID TRAVIS AND CLARISSE FILL OUT COLLEGE APPS THEY WERE AT WAR???? WHAT DO THEIR OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPTS LOOK LIKE???

the jackson-blofis family warms my heart <3

thoughts on the series as a whole?

i love it. definitely top three riordan series (tied with pjo and mcga)

i like that (like mcga) toa was more mature? like we finally see demigods with ptsd, we get queer characters, just... everything

[asha-mage]

WoT S2 Premier - The Good, the Interesting, and the Messy

Now that I've had a chance to sleep on it and become half way coherent again, I want to say that I really really liked what their doing so far in season 2. You can see the seems of course, the places where COVID era production and changes had to shift things around, but the show is continuing it's central ethos of adapting the heart of the series and characters, even while having to shift the details to suit their limitations and medium, and that to me is far far more important then one-to-one accurate book scenes.

I don't have anything bad to say about the show, so instead I am going to split up my more general thoughts into three broad categories: The Good (stuff I adored), The Interesting (Things I'm very very curious to see where they are headed), and the Messy (the places where some of their working within limitations has created complex problems for further down the road, or might inform certain things more directly).

The Good

Every actor so far has knocked it out of the fucking park. I have to give special shout outs to Rosamund Pike, Joshua Stradowski, Zoe Robins, Natasha O'Keeffe, and Ceara Coveney for really clearly managing to convey the nuances and complexities of their characters in ways that just blow me away. The show's writing continues to get these characters on a fundamental level and every actor is turning in a performance that conveys their heart so well.

The visual look of the show still rules, but channeling especially has taken a huge step forward in how it's depicted. I didn't mind the way it looked in season 1 the way some did, but I appreciate that they've decided to hew to something closer to what the Darkhorse Comics did, especially as we have so many characters now trying to figure out how to actually channel the One Power.

I also like that we're seeing sharp differences already in the different groups channel, just visually. The Aes Sedai use sweeping graceful gestures, the damne sharp, short gestures, with little wasted energy, all clearly rehearsed as if drilled into the military style.

In other ways the visuals of the show, especially in it's art direction, also rule. The way Cairhien has a mix of Versailles era France and Han Era China in architecture and fashion. The way the Seanchan feel alien, strange, and other, and yet how key parts of their Empire's culture come through even as their conquering and destroying.

The use of the Texan/American accents hits the PERFECT balance I was hoping for to add to that level of strangeness. It's not heavy enough to be a joke, but it's so stark in comparison to everyone crisp vaguely European accents. On that note- the sheer brutality of the village's subjugation, this tiny nowhere village probably somewhere on Almoth Plane, just one ant being smushed by the huge fingers of the Empire. Talk about effective introductions.

The Interesting

I was admittedly a little skeptical of the choice ot have Rand working a asylum but having seen the show I'm glad I reserved judgement because it fits in perfectly with hie Messiah vibe. Here is the savior of the world, and is he staying in palaces and toppling cities? No (well not yet). He's spending his time caring for the sick and the mad, doing menial back breaking work for those society rejects and wants to forget. And of course, it's more complicated then simple altruism: Rand is being driven by his own fear of going mad, his own desire to know what he's facing, and yet that compassion still shines through.

I also really like that, since Rand can't be Lan trained in the show, they decided to do something very Jordan: take a classic trope (cooky wise old master) give it a shine of realism (he's got dementia and PTSD from being a vetran soldier) and dig at the humanity underneath (Rand is letting the old man train him as much to help the man as to learn the sword).

Liandrin is a character I'm shocked by how much I am enjoying her in the show. The decision to explore her depths more, to dig into her anger, her arrogance, her desire for control and power, is fascinating, and her relationship with Nynaeve and Egwene even more so. Her scene with Nynaeve where she gets Nynaeve to channel (an adaption of Siuan scene from the books) especially kicks ass. It's got the same fundamental point as the book: Nynaeve is limiting herself, holding herself back, but the show lets it be starker, crueler, because it IS Laindrin, not Siuan.

The choice to have Perrin be solo with the Shienarans, even if was basically forced on the writers by Barney Harris's departure. They don't waste any of that time, using it to explore Perrin's growing sense of isolation, his grief at Lalia, his relationship to Loial, and his growing fear of the wolves. I've always felt that Perrin, who is very introspective and quite, was the hardest of the main heroes to adapt, and the ways their bringing his conflict out and literalsing continue to be very smart.

The Messy

Some of the merges have caught me off guard, even though I knew they where coming. Elays and Hurin makes a great deal of sense. I have a strong fondness for Hurin, but I can admit he's an easy cut. It does raise the question though of how they are going to incorporate the element of noblesse oblige, which is an important part of how the series explores it's themes of government, nobility, responsibility, and duty. Of course, even if they had kept Hurin the party splitting means he'd probably be no where near Rand right now, so this was almost certainly the right choice.

Nynaeve's Acceptatron Test. Having sat with it, I still like it a lot, and I understand the choices they've made. I wish it had been a little bit more clear that her decision to go back in the final arch was her decision, having a scene of her forcing the arch to appear with the Power, but overall I think they had a good job otherwise. The first test was always going to have to be different since they've cut Aginor and Balthamel from the show, and the important part was Nynaeve choosing to go back over her own anger and desire for revenge, which they kept. The second arch probably would have required half the run time of the episode if they wanted to do it in full, so I don't mind them condensing it down, and again the important thing is that Nynaeve choose to leave the role of Wisdom behind for good, to seek the power to truly make a difference in the lives of those she cares about. The third arch is the big one, and the point of that sequence was always Nynaeve rejecting paradise in order to go back and protect those she loves. She is offered everything she could possibly want, but it isn't enough because her friends, those in her charge, are still at risk, and nothing has changed. She has to go back to save them, because that is the essence of who she is. The show takes the plank of showing that paradise would be hollow anyways, doomed to fall apart because the world needs Nynaeve, she is called to duty, and she can not reject it. It's....actually moment very reminiscent of Rand's Portal Stone journey/his arc in TGH which makes sense since they've always been parallel characters, and the closest thing to a male and female lead the series has.

Verin being merged with Vandene. This is one that it will take far more for me to decide on. On a very practical level it makes a lot of sense, but it has long term implications for Verin's arc in the series that wont be apparent for a very very long time. How will Adeleas factor into Verin's scheme? Does she know? Is she in on the plan to bring down the Black Ajah? Is she ignorant and Verin has been carrying this off in secret while her own sister had no idea? A lot of how this merger goes hinges on how those questions swing. Also, there is Adeleas's murder to consider. It's likely to be kept, but the circumstances being different, and Verin being Verin, the vengeance she seeks will likely be a great deal more dramatic and direct then what Vandene could do.

Past that though I mostly just have gushing and nitpicks, and far more gushing then nitpicking all things considered. Overall....another banger start. I probably liked the opening to season 1 a little bit better, but I suspect season 2 is going to go to some Interesting Places that I am Ready For.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Refuge (2023)

The best thing I can say about Refuge is that it has its heart in the right place. Though the evil in this horror film comes from Afghanistan, writer Ben Sztajnkrycer and director Renny Harlin really want to make it clear that not all Middle Easterners are terrorists and that the Afghan immigrants living in the United States are our friends. That’s admirable but it doesn’t make up for a lack of scares or a story you’ve seen so many times it’s more likely to put you to sleep than give you nightmares.

After a tour in Afghanistan, Sergeant Rick Pedroni (Aston McAuley) returns home after a strange incident. His wife, Kate (Sophie Simnett) hardly recognizes the quiet, cheerless man before her now. After sudden fits of violence, nightmares and events that can only be described as "supernatural", Kate reaches out to Ibrahim (Raza Jaffrey), an Imam at a nearby temple, for help.

Some trivia I read claims producer Gary Lucchesi was inspired by the 2017 National Geographic Article “Behind the Mask: Revealing the Trauma of War”, detailing a type of art therapy that has veterans use masks to express the way they feel on the inside. I was stunned to learn this because while watching, you’ll swear the mask therapy stuff is all made up. Every person we see at the clinic wears something that would be at home in one of the “Purge” movies, except for Rick, whose mask looks like a paper bag soaked in dirty water. The evil spirit possessing him eventually spreads to the clinic's other patients, making the guys already wearing creepy masks act creepy. I was going to criticize the film for doing the obvious thing… but the masks in the article are creepier than they aren’t, so it’s merely taking advantage of a real-life unsettling visual. If anything, that's a strength.

Continuing down this line, we can see why this film was made. We know soldiers come back from armed conflict with PTSD. Rick’s father, Sebastian (Jason Flemyng), still has nightmares and it’s been decades since he saw combat. The idea of your loved one returning as a different person is scary enough. What if what everyone assumes is PTSD is something even more serious? Something… satanic? That’s a good idea but unfortunately, the creativity stopped there. Everything in this film you’ve seen before and better. The demonic possession scenes aren’t shocking or frightening, they don’t showcase any new visuals, say anything interesting about the human psyche or reveal anything about what war does to people. The “exorcism” performed is pretty standard, with the key to defeating the wicked spirit being the kind of thing that makes you go “I guess that’s clever… but it also seems way too easy”.

I mentioned the film’s good intentions earlier. These are showcased primarily in the scenes with Ibrahim, his wife Rasha (Mila Lyutskanova) and their teenage son, Farid (Shervin Alenabi). There’s tension between the men because Farid has been getting into trouble. The police officer who keeps bringing him back home hasn’t been too subtle about his racist views. Farid is fed up with the hate he encounters. When Kate comes to them for help, Farid sees her as just another white woman who didn’t care about them until she needed their help. He thinks the evil spirit isn't their problem. Ibrahim wants to help and his wife is like “Well, is helping these people you don’t know really worth it?” For the wife of an Imam, she’s not very sympathetic, particularly this isn't some charity handout she's asking for, it's an exorcism. The best thing I can say about those scenes is that their heart is in the right place. It doesn’t make them any less clichéd.

The performances in Refuge are not strong but in the actors’ defense, the material they’ve working with is forgettable. Writer Ben Sztajnkrycer doesn’t have a lot of credits to his name but he's been working on feature-length films since 2006. As for directory Renny Harlin, it's time to accept he’s not the same director who made Die Hard 2 anymore. Among its many flaws, Refuge isn’t scary and even when it’s genuine, it feels phony. (October 2, 2024)

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hi there! I hope you guys are doing well.

I've been a questioning system on and off for the past long while, and was just wondering - is it normal to feel like it's difficult to think about? Not in an anxiety or "I don't want to think about it" way, but in a "I want to think about it and understand better but it feels like there is a physical barrier in my brain preventing me from thinking about it too hard or reaching out to any potential headmates?" It's starting to get really frustrating.

It takes a lot of concentration and effort to be able to reach out, and when I am able to, I rarely get responses, and they're normally just one-word replies where it's almost hard to tell if I got a reply at all or if I'm just psyching myself out.

I was just wondering if y'all had any advice or thoughts? Is this normal? Does this mean anything? I don't know what to do, or if I'm actually a system at all (I have all of the symptoms of PDID but can't tell if it's actually PDID or just a compound of a bunch if other symptoms from other stuff) and I'm really lost. Any advice that any of y'all have would be monumentally helpful.

Also, I just wanted to say thank you for the amount of resources y'all have on this blog. I've found so many of them so helpful, so, just, thank all of you so much. I hope y'all have a wonderful day :)

Hi! The short answer to your question is yes, this is very normal, especially for systems with dissociative disorders or those who have dissociative barriers between headmates.

Our host also seriously struggled to establish and build contact and communication between us at first - and that’s even just with our established core fronting group! It took a lot of effort, patience, and work in therapy for us to reach the level of communication we have today. Even now, there are quite a few alters in our system who many of us do not have access to. At this point, we’ve learned to take things slow and try not to rush to bring down those barriers. We’re focusing on moving forward a little bit at a time, and that’s honestly been quite effective for us!

We’d encourage you, if you haven’t already, to start journalling, and encourage other potential parts, alters, or headmates to write in the journal as well. Even if you can’t get in touch with them, reminding yourself that the journal is for everyone and leaving it in an easily accessible place might allow your headmates to start expressing themselves and attempt to get to know each other even if y’all aren’t able to contact each other well inside just yet.

We also have this post on establishing contact with headmates - maybe it’ll be helpful for y’all?

Please don’t stress too much if no one writes in the journal or you don’t hear back from any headmates straight away. Again, this process takes plenty of time and patience! Honestly we’d say give it a few months of attempts before you start to grow discouraged. Also, having access to a qualified therapist who you trust can be immensely beneficial for getting through to headmates, especially at first!

And if it turns out you’re not actually a system, remember that’s okay!! That is totally fine. You mentioned PDID, which means you might have PTSD or C-PTSD, both of which often come with dissociation as a symptom or trauma response. So as long as you’re prioritizing your health and getting the help you need, to us, that’s definitely most important!

We’re wishing you the best of luck with figuring this out. Feel welcome to reach out to us again if you need any more help in the future! We’re not experts or professionals, but we’re more than happy to help with advice and resources to the best of our ability.

🌸 Margo and 🖋 Cecil