#and scared and so scared and so worried why does everything hurt why cant i think whats happening

[therewithinthestars]

my brain feels fucking fried idont understand whats wrong anymore i dont know what to do

[thekingofchungus]

t shirt that says i heart reoccuring nightmares

[strawberrystealer]

Bungo Stray Dogs- What I think they’d do if someone kidnapped you

Characters: Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma, and Akutagawa

For some reason I think about this a lot sooo why not write about it!

Fyodor- 

Angry, upset, annoyed, all of those would be understatements

The pure rage that would fill this mans body once he gets the news-

If he saw like a letter or something thats like “Ayo we got ur bae come get them or they die lmaooo #livelaughlove” But a lot more sinister and stuff he’d go straight there and uhhh

Basically kill everyone there using his ability of course

He’d be so quick about it too, like drop everything he was doing and go straight there

Once he’s at the place in like the span of a few seconds everyone’s already dead and he goes over to you and idk takes off your blind fold or whatever they have on you

He becomes the softest man you’ve ever seen just for that moment cuz he doesn’t know what you’ve been through and he doesn’t want to cause you anymore pain

Once you two get home he’ll run a bath for you or something and stay by your side

He’ll make sure no one ever touches you again, he can’t ever risk losing you.

Nikolai- 

I bet he’d be like coming home all cheerful, ready to come mess with you or something and... you’re not on the couch.

Not in your room, the bathroom, anywhere

The smile immediately drops from his face and he gets worried

But then again he probably does this all the time so he texts you and you don’t respond??

Now he’s 10 times more worried than he was before!

Probably not a lot tho cuz he probably knows where you are

If thats the case then he just goes the the location and pays you a lil visit

Knocks on the door like a gentleman ofc 

But when they open it-

BOOM

“QUIZ TIME!!! Where’s my lovely little s/o?? Can you guess??” And he looks over and sees you inside the house.

Then he’d immediately kill move the kind gentleman into a burning fire! So sweet ik

He’d get to you and ofc be worried but once he finds out you’re okay he’ll be fine and back to his normal goofy self 

Unless you want the more realistic take where he cant stop thinking about it and thinks its his fault for weeks but is also trying to rid himself of emotions so ofc he cant be scared or guilty so he’s constantly battling himself on whether or not its his fault and if you still even like you because he might not have been there just in time to save you.

Sigma- 

He’d be so unbelievably worried 

He wouldn’t know who did it, why, how, or anything and he’d be just as confused as you probably are 

He’d probably have to ask for help, contemplate calling the cops but then realizes hes fr a terrorist he cant do that-

So he asks Fyodor for help and after a bit of pleading Fyodor gives him the location of where you and your abductor are

Once Sigma gets there, with some guns he’s probably scared to use, he sees the man that kidnapped you

Its gonna be like “if you give me ur casino ill give u your s/o” type of shit (super unrealistic but its all I can think of rn)

So obviously ur man isnt having that and shoots him

I mean he had no problem shooting that red haired girl (whatever her name is in the hunting dogs) so he probably wouldn’t have a problem killing some weak guy to get his lover back

Once he gets you safe he’ll keep asking if you’re okay alllll the time just because he’s so scared

“Darling are you sure you’re okay?? He seemed really scary... he didn’t hurt you did he? Do you need any bandages?”

Akutagawa- 

He looks completely unfazed

Like he’ll read some letter telling him to come get you or you die and be like “...Ugh not this again” 

He will get you though

And he is slightly scared but not really because he knows you’ll be fine once he gets you

When he gets to the place he doesn’t even knock on the door

He just punches a big ass hole in it with his ability and goes through it 

Also kills your abductor<3

Once he gets you he’s quiet

He’ll lightly hug you, glad your alive and the drive home will be silent

He’s considering weather he should be all “you’re so weak how’d you even get kidnapped” or “are you okay? ... He didn’t do any physical abuse to you, correct?” But both of them sound weird to him so he’s silent

When you get home he’ll prepare anything you wish

Tea? Dinner? Blankets? Anything, he’ll do for you

He does love you and he was very worried its just he has a poor way of showing it, thats all :)

[slashingdisneypasta]

Peter Hale x Younger!Mate!Reader || Drabble

Plot: **I forget how mates work in the Teen Wolf universe but for the good of the fic, we're going to do this in an AU where your mate is not your choice- you just Feel It, when you meet them, and Know. And you also have a little sixth sense, where you can tell when the other is in danger.**

Peter Hale is your mate, there's no question about that, but from the moment that you both realised that fact- he has made it clear that you are too young and sorry sweetheart, I'm not that evil.

But some time later he turns up at your house. He has no intentions of being there long, but will it be harder for him to leave then he thought?? After all, now its just the two of you. Just you, and him. Fuck.

Warnings: Age difference (Reader is 21-24, Peter is 35-38).

Of all the people who could've been on the other side of the door today, Peter Hale was probably the one possibility you thought would be the least likely. As soon as you see him, you straighten up your back; stand with more confidence. Even though you're really, really confused. How does he even know where you live?? Peter has never been here. And you've never been close enough to tell him.

"Wh-... " You look around. Did one of the other bring him?? Lydia??? Weirdly, you don't see anyone else. Just your devastatingly attractive, occasionally evil, quippy estranged mate. When your eyes land on him again, you cant help but notice something off about him. He looks a little nervous. A little worried. "... Is everything okay??" Your voice is gentle; soothing. You don't know how comforting that is to him, against his will.

"Hi." He starts, causing you to screw up your nose when he doesn't answer your question. "I uhh... I got your address from Styles."

"And he just... gave it to you?" You ask, dubious. Styles hates that you and Peter are mates, and one of the few things that Style appreciates about Peter is the distance he's kept from you all this time.

Peter shakes his head. "Well, no, he took some convincing, but- " His eyes flicker from your face to the rest of you for the first time- period. First time ever. But still, there's not a bit of lecherousness in his glance, just more concern. Now your lips form into a concerned frown. Why is he so anxious?? Thats not Peter-like at all. Even you know that and you barely know each other! "Uh, when I told him I was worried about you, he coughed up."

You blink. "Worried??... Why would you be worried about m- " OH fuck. Guilt rushes through you immediately. You completely forgot that that he could... that mates could sense when the other was scared. You were told it could be felt almost just as clearly as if you yourself were in the danger, if your mate was. And you were pretty damn scared, earlier.

Fuck.

Immediately your body goes cold and your eyes go round. "- I'm so sorry!! It was- I- My friend and I went into the city earlier, and she left early so I took the train back on my own, and there was this creep that sat next to me an-- It wasn't serious. I'm so so sorry."

Peter nods, the worried fog in his eyes clearing as he let out a sound- a sigh? Relief? He remains rooted to the spot, though, a crease in his eyebrows that still conveyed some level of concern. "What kind of creep? Are you alright??"

"He was just- um- " How do you describe the levels of discomfort you were in with this guy, and still convince him that you're fine? You're not, right now. In fact you were still pent up when you finally got home, safe and sound. You only forgot all about it when Peter turned up at your door. "Persistent. I'm okay. Thank you Peter."

The crease in Peter's eyebrows increases, furrowing and knitting together into a grimace of disbelief. What you would almost call a sneer pulls across his pretty face. "Really?? That felt... pretty bad, sweetheart."

You immediately ignore the twitter your heart gives when he calls you sweetheart. "Really. I'm not hurt, he didn't follow me home. I'll be fine."

"Hm." Peter clearly doesn't believe you. You don't know what to tell him!

... fortunately, you don't have to. After a moment, he rolls his eyes and rolls his shoulders, shaking off the grimace and the sneer and looking once again his usual, unique brand of nonchalant. "Fine, don't tell me. But hey, maybe I should give you my phone number. That way you can let me know whenever something like that happens, so I don't have to freak out cuz my heart's about to tear out of my chest while I'm just folding laundry."

"Oh. Yeah, probably a good ide- "

"You got a pen?"

And there he goes, you think with an indignant huff. He's brushing you off and trying to get away fast, like just being near you was a chore.

Giving a nod, you leave the doorway and head into your house. "You can come in!" You call back, searching for a pen and a notepad.

It hurt that Peter was like this with you all the time, but usually it was a vague unfortunate longing feeling somewhere deep inside you. Because, in the end, you didn't really know Peter. Just because he meant to be your mate, didn't mean you knew him (Just meant that you could. That you wanted to.). So truly, was it a huge loss that he didn't want anything to do with you? You tried to tell yourself that it wasn't. And besides, you sort of respected him for not wanting to 'prey' on you. That was good... A part of him not everyone saw.

Right this moment though you felt sad, and annoyed. Because for a moment there, he was really your mate. He was worried for you, he wasn't just shocked and upset like he'd probably try to convince you if you pressed him on it, he was worried. You could see it clear as day. Because one thing you could gather about Peter, was that when he wasn't wearing that semi-permanent poker face he had on again now as he wandered through your house behind you, peering at pictures on walls and books on your shelves, his face was more like a window directly to his soul. He couldn't hide anything. Thats probably why he invented the blasé attitude he'd patented now.

"... didn't know you were a reader." He pipes up, a definite note of interest in his tone. Not Talking is not a possibility for him- even with you. "What's- "

You give him a taste of his own medicine. "Yep."

Finally you find a pen and paper, stuffed in your food cupboard with a grocery list half done on the first page. You flip to the second page and turn around, handing the pad and the fine liner pen over to Peter.

You watch him carefully write in his phone number down for you, and feel very oddly about him being in your home right now. Morally debased Peter Hale, looking way too gorgeous in jeans and a designer t-shirt- your supposed mate- in your kitchen. Absolutely nuts.

When he's done, you cant help but asking if he wants a cup of tea? You want him to stay. You want him to be comfortable with this- with you.

But you wont force him if he cant. Even if it genuinely breaks your heart a little every time that you think about what could be, here.

"No- no, I cant." He says quickly, immediately, and you nod. Yeah. Yeah, you expected that. Okay. "Well... good seeing you, Y/N. I'll, uh, see you around inevitably."

"Probably, I'm in the pack you keep trying to take over."

A little grin flickers across his face. A little fake-ashamed, a little proud. "Exactly."

You don't know if thats a joke or not. Probably a bit of both, with him. From what you knew of him, he could never ignore the allure of being alpha for very long, despite any amount of good deeds he does.

Complicated man, he is.

Peter turns his back and starts on his way back the way he came, and you go to walk him out, and you're just thinking about what you're going to do with the rest of your day- how you definitely need a comforting cup of tea after all the fear and all the oddness and all the sad- when suddenly Peter turns back around. You nearly run into him. "Oh!- Peter- "

Before you even realise what happened, he draws you and in against him and seals your lips with his and swallows down your surprise. There's a passion in this sudden, shocking kiss that you've never felt before and it almost brings you to your knees. You kiss him back, parting your lips and meeting his tongue with a clipped moan, but you have to wrap your arms around his neck just to stay on your feet.

Being this close to him finally, you find you don't mind the rough stubble against your face one bit, and his cologne is expensive but good, and his nose rubbing against yours feels perfect.

When he pulls back he releases a wolfish growl into the small space between you both, frustrated and annoyed. "Shit, I wish I had a good excuse for that, but- " He shakes his head before pressing his forehead against yours. "Fuck me, I shouldn't have done that... "

"I'm a grown up, Peter- "

"See, Y/N, the fact that you have to say that, is not reassuring to me."

"Y/N??" You blink, eyes growing wide.

"Thats your name." He groans, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, but you've never said it before."

"Yes I hav- " He seems to decide arguing about that isn't worth the time, and shakes his head again. Probably because he definitely hasn't!- "Whatever. Point is, today I have reached a new low. And guess who's fault that is, sweetheart?"

Your mouth falls open with shock, despite the butterflies that fly around inside you at him calling you sweetheart again. "Not mine!- You could control yourself, its not that hard."

His intense blue eyes have a grin in them, now, making you insides feel warm and soft. Still, he sighs. "... any chance you can keep this a secret?"

Hmm... "... Only if you kiss me again." There's a lot to discuss, a lot to figure out; you know that. But the bottom line, the only thing you care about right now, is that you're a grown fucking adult- and you're still feeling the high from Peter's touch. You need it again. You think you're addicted.

Already!

A dark smirk slips across his handsome face. "Hm. You got a couch in this place sweetheart?"

[justasecretflower]

~🪻𝐒𝐃𝐕 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐬~

Incl: alex, Shane, Elliot, Harvey, Wizard, Willy, Gunther, Sam, Sebastian.

‼️Do not reblog‼️

_____________________________________

𝘈𝘭𝘦𝘹－ he’s such a boy dad. He’d be the type to want a lot of boys but end up with a little boy and then a girl right after.

- he’s REALLY disconnected during the pregnancy with the girl. When you finally get it out of him of why he says he just doesn’t think he can relate to her as much as he can with a boy.

- you convinced him to read some parenting books. He did, while doing his daily crunches.

-slowly warmed up to the idea..

-he was her favourite parent. 100%.

-he let his nails get painted, face masks, little rainbow beaded bracelets.

-Loves doing family hikes, runs, gridball games, all that physical activity stuff.

- his kids love him so much.

Shane- girl dad. I really can’t see him having a boy.

- he’s very loving and doting. All of her drawings are on the fridge and honestly they’re completely covering it to the point you can’t even see the silver anymore

-Had a problem with sending her to school.

- “just one more year.” Kinda dad

- he loves his little buddy. She helps with his chickens and they have fun. Why would he ever want her away for hours every day?

- when she finally got to her first day of kindergarten. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and realised that it wasn’t that bad and stopped worrying.

𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 - boy dad. And he’s the shyest, sweetest, most polite little boy ever.

- the little boy would be decked out in either Ralph Lauren or knitted sweaters with little animals or insects on them

-I have a feeling Harvey’s son is either obsessed with bugs or dinosaurs..idk

- Harvey stays away from insects but definitely acts like he isn’t scared of them.

- the kid has a bug watch where he can put them in a little watch and carry them around.

- such a health nut with his son. No extra sweets, or more juice. Bundles him up during winter. Maybe a little overboard he just loves his little boy so much:(.

Elliot - i see him being a parent to both? He has very polite kids and they speak fresh out of the 1800s. Thanks to him. But they’re very picky towards everything.

- his daughter wears those frilly white socks and cute little ribbons in her hair all the time (which is Elliot’s hair colour.)

- his son wears his hair slicked back and those black shoes.

- Elliot picks his kids outfits out. Does his daughter’s hair while she eats breakfast and kicks her feet.

-Elliot reads his kids to sleep, has a designated reading nook in each of their rooms. Has little notebooks that they write about their day in.

- Mentions his kids in his book. In the dedication before the story, in the “about the author” section, little side characters like his kids, everywhere.

Wizard- he’s really awkward as a dad. But he tries!

- a boy and girl dad, he has no preference.

- teaches his kids magic.

- can’t punish his kids for the life of him, he just can’t, y/n, you do it.

- his kids aren’t allowed to use magic to clean their rooms / do chores but if they do he isn’t gonna tell 😭.

- “Wanna hear how I met your mother?” He tells your kids stories from your youth ALL. THE. TIME!!

Willy- tears, tears, tears, when he holds his newborn for the first time and tells people all the time he doesn’t care.

- neither a boy or girl dad. He just loves his kids.

- “grab it d/n!!” *his daughter, in literal tears* “I CANT DADDY😰😭”

- both of his kids are fishing, they both have their own mini poles. His daughters has her name in pink sparkles and princesses on it.

- his sons has little dinosaurs on it with his name in bold green print.

- I’m leaning more towards Willy’s daughter loving animals, fish included, so she breaks down whenever a fish dies or gets hurt. At a point Willy has to lie about the fish they have for dinner.

- “this fish? Oh no baby this fish was already dead! It’s not one of the ones I caught today!” Daughter - :)

- hates sending his kids off to school. “Why do they need it? They can learn how to fish and own the store?” Is his line 24/7 every morning before school.

- Willy and ur kids will gang up on you and they’ll fake sick if they promise Willy they’ll go fishing (🙄).

Sam- he’s the fun parent. Again, not a girl or boy dad.

- his daughter match nail polish.

- his kids have mini skateboards (my dad got me a mini skateboard when I was younger as well:) )

- always nagging them about a helmet or kneepads when he himself doesn’t even wear them?

- writes songs for them, and lullabies to go to sleep.

- he can’t dress his kids to save his life, especially his daughter.

- she has baggy jeans on, a pink tutu, baggy hot pink princess shirt, and mismatched white and pink converse.

- “Sam what is my daughter wearing.” “..clothes..”

- tries to teach ur son how to swoon girls. I heard a story about a little boy telling a cute older woman that he has big building blocks at home and made motorcycle noises for 10 minutes.

-that’d be his son.

- also, he can’t cook. Don’t leave him alone with the kids it’s cereal/ McDonald’s for dinner and Ice cream for breakfast.

Sebastian- stops smoking when he finds out you’re pregnant/ adopting.

GIRL DAD!!!

- his daughter is really introverted like him. They take little cat naps together.

- speaking of cats, you have one.

- she finds her dads work so interesting; sits there and watches her daddy work.

- you have to force now both of them out of the house.

- your daughter is the definition of dressing down EVERYWHERE.

- she has little pink sweat sets galore. Doesn’t like dressing up.

- he can’t really express his love for his girl, so he does it with tiny things like randomly reading to her, or sometimes giving her a lil forehead kiss just cuz.

Gunther- I CAN’T DECIDE IF HE’S A GIRL OR BOY DAD..😟

- teaches his kids history

- takes them out digging.

- I feel like..his son would be the lazy one when it comes to digging up bones with dad💀

- “can we stop now?..” - son “NEVER!!” - daughter

- your son definitely likes to be more of a hermit, your daughter likes to go out digging, watch video essays about the 16-1800s and stuff.

- she’s obsessed with those huge puffy dresses from the Rocco era. She has a whole clothing rack just for those type of styled dresses.

- Gunther likes slow dancing with his little girl.

- tries his absolute best to engage in whatever your son likes.

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[shradsmanifestt]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Hey love,

I get you, I really do but trust me when I say this.

THIS SHIT IS REAL AF. Manifestation is real af. It's as real as the fact that you are a human being. All you have to do is trust yourself that it is already done. If good results is what you want then that is exactly what you'll get. You need to choose to stop having doubts because it is already done. That is the simplest answer I can give you. Persist on what you want.

I am glad to tell you this but I just got test results for a major exam held in my uni today and I got into the 95th percentile just by saying to myself that my super power is aptitude tests and that I already scored great. In my friends group only 3 of us were eligible and I have 70+ more marks then them as well. If I can do it, you can do it. You need to stop doubting yourself. Atleast stop doubting manifestation. Cause at this point you're only gonna manifest your doubts.

I'll give you a scenario - If you're worried about getting bad grades, Trust me when I say this you're gonna manifest exactly that coz you will manifest exactly what you assume. You can choose to stop that right here, RN. Choose to accept that you got great marks. I mean don't even like aim for B's go for A's. I don't care even if you left the paper blank coz if you assume you're the topper, that is exactly what's gonna happen.

If you do get bad marks and I'm gonna be harsh here - You're the only reason why! You're gonna manifest exactly what you assume to be true even if it's good or bad. Your sc mind don't differentiate btw what's good for you or what's bad for you. It only knows what you feed it.

You got this, TRUST ME

Love, Shrads.

[wassupmygays]

yap about ur headcanons about the socs pls!!

heheeh okay some misc things about the soc guys that have popped into my head throughout the week (im sorry this is so long)

EDIT: ok ive put it all under the cut bc it got so long but i do yap a little bit about each soc guy so please read hehe :)

Chet

chet and his family moved from california when he was in 3rd grade. his first friend in town was one sodapop curtis on his little league baseball team

his dad is a cop and wants to advance up the ranks, and his mom wants to make sure they keep up their good social standing, so chet was not friends with soda for long

you know those boys in like 5th grade that crack all the dumb jokes, hit all the door frames, and tease every girl "because he likes her"? thats chet and trip

this is inspired by @/sky4cherry iirc but chet does Nawt get attention at home man. his dad is always busy with work and a little mean (yknow how dads are in the 60s) and his mom is always working on the next social function or trying to appease his dad. anyways he is just always at another soc guy's house just to have someone Talk to him

i think he picks up drinking and smoking, and fighting, for a similar reason to bob: he just wants his parents to fucking notice he's doing something wrong. but theyre high enough now in the social and job spaces that they can just wipe any misdemeanors under the rug

i cant decide if chet is an only child, or if he has like 2 siblings that are way older than him. idk

Trip

terrance dipp is The Exasperated older brother ever. bro did Nawt want a little brother sorry melvin.

anyways unfortunately i do think trip is very much a guy's guy. that boy is Not a good boyfriend to marcia unfortunately :(((((( at least by the time we get to their sophomore year/the show

him and chet can not be sat together in class. they will never shut up or stop hitting each other.

chet broke his arm one time in like 6th grade. trip threatens to break it again at least once a month

ive said this before but ill say it again: trip and melvin are just soc steve and ponyboy. trip is so tired of his kid brother being in all his sports and trying to tag along to everything

that being said, he was looking out for melvin so much during the rumble. he knew their mom would kill him if he brought his brother home all beat up, but also he really really didn't want him to get too hurt.

he Always goes to marcia to patch him up after hes been in a fight. (after the rumble though, him and marcia are on the rocks, and hes got melvin to worry about. so he just sneaks melvin home and tries to clean him up before their mom sees. its actually a sweet bonding moment between them i think)

trip lovesssss verbally poking fun at any greaser in school, especially two-bit. after he realizes two-bit likes marcia, his mean jokes become a lot more threatening

(i do love trip i promise i just also think hes kinda a mean guy. you know the kind of rowdy douche bags in high school im talking about. im so sorry ksco and sean jones i promise i love trip kdjfkdjf)

Brill

clark brillstein i'll be so incredibly honest i dont have much in my brain for him :((( i gotta sit and think more

i do think he has one of the better home lives out of the bunch, and hes got his lovely perfect girlfriend, and hes good at sports, and honestly i think he just. gets tired of everyone thinking hes got it so perfect all of the time. i think maybe thats why he likes all the fighting so much

while he is relatively happy with his life rn, hes tired of being doted on like hes perfect. and also sometimes he sees everyone else's lives being so shitty, he feels likes hes got to pick fights to justify him feeling bad about his lot.

Paul

ohhh im gonna have to hold myself back from talking about him forever. he will get his own post at some point aDKFJDKFJK

anyways. paul holden. the messiest and most scared gay kid in the town of tulsa

i think he and bob literally grew up together. like their parents are Old old friends, so paul and bob have always basically been brothers despite a 2/3 ish year age difference (i dont feel like doing the exact math). i think bev's parents are also in this old friend group, so pauls known her forever too

anyways. he was probably the bob of his friend group in his class, which is why nobody really really protested darry being in their group. but i also think that when he was with darry, paul didnt really care about the whole social friend group of things too much.

contrary to popular belief i dont think paul is the friend-group-leader type. idk if that makes sense and i can yap about it more but.

anyways post-darry breakup paul is a fucking mess. hes sad and angry and those fights that darry was always trying to stop feel so damn good. maybe bob and his buddies are on to something, and bob's dad always has a full liquor cabinet

Bob

obviously we know the most about bob and his home life and inner psyche and reasons for fighting and honestly all of it really resonates in my brain. like yea im keeping all of that

bro has charisma to the max. like he has always been the ringleader of the friend group, even in like 4th grade when all the boys started becoming best buddies

he used to be such a mommas boy. before her praise just became so meaningless.

oh ive just had a revelation. he is an angrier and more resigned buddy aldridge from rotpl. his dad is pulling the strings to make sure his precious son is climbing all the right ladders.

the difference here tho is bob realized this earlier, and that started his spiral into fights and drinking and causing problems. he wanted to see what would finally make his dad stop covering and fixing everything for him. he never found that limit

he knows cherry cant stand the drinking, and i do think he does feel bad about ignoring her feelings about it. but his urge to push back against everything and spit in the face of anyone who tries to tell him how he should be just overpowers. and god everything is more fun when hes boozed up

[flowers-in-your-basement]

As requested by the wonderful

@chineseshoestore I hope it's everything you've wanted and more.

It's a rare night when Dean strikes out. its even rarer that he wouldn't try again, with a different girl.

Maybe fate wanted this to happen.

Who is he kidding, it's just plain old bad luck.

It's the early, early morning and dean is just outside the motel. The lights are on inside, so he's not worried about making too much noise.

Clearly that didn't matter. When he steps inside it's like he walked into another world, one where everything is wrong

Because dad is on top of Sam one of the beds. Actually it takes him a few seconds to really realize what's happening. Dad is fucking sammy, baby brother.

It takes him another couple of seconds to unstick from his place in the doorstep, seconds where they don't notice him.

Dads making these little grunting noises, ones that he's heard before, thought it was nightmares or pain. Sam's making noises too, little squeals and whimpers, high and sobbing.

He's heard that before in the night too.

At least three years ago, when Sam was younger, young. How long has this been going on under his nose?

Too fucking long.

There's a gun on his waistband and smoothly, surely, he grabs it.

Everything stops when he gets it into his hand.

Somehow, somebody noticed him.

Shaky, gun held up in front of him, he steps forward into the room. The stench of sex invades his nostrils.

At first his voice just cracks, but then Dean gets a full sentence out. "Don't you fucking touch him anymore dad, get AWAY FROM SAMMY" yelling at the end.

Dad seems scared, gets off of Sam, pulls out with a gentle grunt, dick slick with lube and soft. He's not even fully undressed, still got socks on.

That doesn't matter. The only thing that matters right now is sam.

"hey sammy, he's not gonna hurt you anymore just- just get off the bed, please Sammy"

Sammy doesn't say anything. Not protesting that his name is sam. Not saying anything. Sammy's chin is quivering.

Then dad starts to talk. "Dean! Dean, he wanted it I swear to you I promise, I promise he wanted it, I would have stoped if he wanted to."

It's a wonder that dean doesn't shoot him there.

Instead, he circles over to the bed, keeping his gun of dad the entire time. Sam's still on the bed, not moving, but there's something in his eyes.

Dad just stares.

"hey, hey Sammy, just get off the bed and put some clothes on, just wait in the car for me, okay, 'comon sammy" Sam is still almost still, but starting to sit up.

Sam just sits up, doesn't pull the blankets over him, doesn't cover up.

"dean. I know you want to"

Dad's still just there, fully clothed now but still standing, not pleading for forgiveness. Why does this even matter, Sam knows.

does he?

"what?"

"I know you want to. I've seen how you act when i'm just 'outta the shower"

"you can do it, I wont mind"

He gives a little giggle, some noise that he's never really made before. "you- you 'cant mean that, comon Sammy, you cant mean that"

It feels like he's quivering, muscles barely holding him up.

Even as they've been talking, Sam's been shuffling closer to him on the bed, Dean's hands on his belt buckle.

Glances over to dad, unconscious need to check with him, make sure it's okay. Dad looks like he's okay with it, like he's not mad at all.

Backs at Sam, looking for all the world like he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. He hears the gentle metal clink of his belt buckle before he realizes that it's being opened.

By sam.

Sam whose mouth his hot and near, mouthing through his boxers. Making eye contact with dad the entire time, making sure that this is okay.

It feels like pleasure is coursing through his veins, like all those girls in bars and bathrooms have been nothing.

Dad's hands are in his pants.

Fuck.

[stevie-petey]

could we perchance get a lil blurb about why/how reader and dustin started their code blues, or maybe just one of their code blues before all the upside down stuff started ? love seeing their sibling relationship always and i think seeing them talking and sharing emotions with each other would be really sweet <3

dustin n reader <333 babies <333

enjoy !

"just because dad left it doesnt mean you can be a bitch."

dustins words cut through you like knives.

"okay, first off, never use that word towards a girl ever again." he rolls his eyes at you and you flick his nose, which he scoffs at. "secondly, i have no idea what youre talking about."

dustin again rolls his eyes. "yeah, you do. youve been a real b- i mean, a real jerk lately."

you want to argue with him, but the words dont seem to come. all you seem to do lately is argue with everyone. and now, confronted with your little brother calling you bitch, you find that youre exhausted.

"i have, havent i?" you finally admit.

dustin nods. "yeah."

you forget sometimes how smart the kid can be. hes only nine and yet here he is, calling you out for actions you shouldve noticed yourself. hes too young to be worrying about this.

"im sorry,"

"its okay. i get it. he sucks, doesnt he?"

"he does, but im still sorry for being such a bitch."

"i thought we couldnt use that word."

you ruffle dustins hair. "nope, youre not allowed to. i am, though."

he sighs, as if expecting that response, and starts to walk out your room. the conversation doesnt feel finished yet, however, and you call after him. "wait!'

"i gotta pee."

"okay, and i told you to wait."

he groans but sits back down on your bed. "do you wanna... talk?"

"ew!"

"i know, but... im serious, buddy. we havent really talked since dad left and i realize i kinda suck as a big sister right now." you feel guilt crawling up your throat, one of the few emotions youve felt these last few days. your dad left a few weeks ago, but sometimes it feels like its been a lifetime.

"you dont suck," dustin reassures you. "youre just... scary right now."

you snort. "yeah, like thats any better."

its quiet now, and dustin sits stiffly against your bed. he seems scared being so close to you, as if you could erupt any second, and you feel horrible for it. youre not sure what you can do, though. theres still so much anger within you, resentment and betrayal, and you dont know how to express so much without hurting those around you.

then, an idea comes to you.

"what about this. we'll call it a code blue."

dustin looks up at you, curious. "whats a code blue?"

"well, my dear brother, its something we'll do when we cant express how we feel or when we think the other sibling needs to have a talk. whenever one of us calls a code blue, the other has to answer honestly and listen as best as they can. once its over, we never bring it up again and we conclude with a hug. hows that sound?"

he thinks for a moment. "honest about anything?"

"mhm,"

"alright. i think that could work. seems less emotional."

you laugh. "i figured youd like that part."

"so... code blue?" dustin asks hesitantly.

"code blue."

you tell dustin everything, explaining why youve been so destructive and bitter and mean. he listens as best as any nine year old can, and as you tell him everything, the weight that had been pressing against your chest these last few weeks begins to lessen. slowly, during the code blue, it becomes easier to breathe.

when youre finally done, right as the last words leave your lips, dustin throws his arms around you. "i love you."

you bring a hand to his hair and kiss the top of his head. "i love you, too. dont let me get all mean again, yeah?"

"i wont."

"good."

[fujisfuji]

the one within

full creds : edward art series , part 4 , inner self must be exalted .

who is desiring ?

So when you go to meditate, close your eyes and remove the outer-world. It is just this blackness. This sacred area of Creation. This place is where you can conjure up images and words you want to hear or what you don't want to hear and see. But you are doing it all. now listen to the voice in your mind, your awareness. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS: THAT IS YOU. THAT IS THE TRUE YOU. NOT THIS BODY. THAT IS "SELF" !!! When Neville says "Leave the world just as it is and change self. No one to change but self," he means the self that is within, the only self there is. Why leave the world alone? Because it is only an expression of "SELF!" Why does he say to change that and that alone? Because "SELF MUST BE EXPRESSED," that is the Law. You don't have to doubt "is my imaginal act going to come to pass?" Who is doubting? "SELF!" Who is worrying? "SELF!" What gets expressed? "SELF!" YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST THAT SELF WILL BE EXPRESSED! Here is what I mean: That voice, the one in you that imagines, is YOU. THAT IS THE ONE WHO IS DESIRING. THAT IS THE ONE WANTS TO BE EXALTED. THAT IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO HAVE THEIR DESIRES FULFILLED. Discard the outer-world and that includes your identification with this body. This is ALL an EXPRESSION OF THAT "SELF." So just take a moment and close your eyes and see the blackness. Then pay attention to your inner voice. THAT IS THE ONE WHO IS DESIRING. THAT IS THE ONE WHO IS IN PAIN. THAT IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO BE FREE FROM ITS BONDAGE. THAT IS THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO BE EXALTED, THE TRUE "SELF." THAT IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO SEE BEAUTY, TO HEAR GOOD NEWS. THAT IS THE ONE WHO DESIRES TO LIVE A LOVELY LIFE!

giving it to yourself

So give it to yourself in your mind! It is incredibly simple. If you take what I say seriously, you will change how you see and live life. You will identify yourself from within and you will grant your every wish from within. It does not matter if it is impossible, if your "SELF" wants it, grant it within. There are no rules for that "Self." If it wants guilt gone, then remove guilt in the mind. Feel forgiven and its all fine, that Self the true you, is desiring that. There are no rules that says you cant have. The beautiful thing is that the inner world can give you anything. I hate separating You and Self because they are not separate, but I am just doing that for clarity. If you embarrass yourself in your mind, or hurt yourself, spark fear into yourself, you are doing that to "Self" the true you which is expressed. You worry about what society thinks, what so-so might think? Who is worrying? SELF! It is ALL YOU. Then you feel hurt, scared and you feel you can have what you want but who is hurt and scared? Your body? No, it is the inner you, the true you. The one who can shed its skin (state) like a snake. When you are fearing, who is doing it? THAT "SELF!" YOU. IT IS IMAGINING IT! But that "Self" does not want to feel that fear anymore, it desires to imagine something new. But since you identify yourself with outer-world and outer-self instead of your True Self and inner-world where everything is possible, you remain stuck. "SELF" becomes irritated, fearful etc. You feel fear in your body, your irritations, that angst will forever remain until you fulfill it within.

identification

So that "SELF" that you are scaring, embarrassing gets expressed! If you want to change, leave the fearful, embarrassing, irritating world just as it is. Do exactly what Neville says. Then identify yourself FULLY with your True Self, the one that is desiring within. Then fulfill all your dreams to its fullest. We already do this but we do it in ways that are harmful to "Self." We try to eat this and that, and read this and that to save "SELF," but "Self" cannot be saved by outer means. Self always wants fulfillment.

So identify yourself, not with this world, but with the one within, the one who is truly desiring. as within , so without .

[collidescopeeyes]

I hope youre doing fine, Will you write Renata and Swain with a femreader who easily cries when someone insult her but if someone insult Renata or Swain they would totally fight that person. Like she cant defend herself but will totally fight hair by hair someone who insult them

Renata and Swain with a softy S/O who'll throw down to defend them

Renata has mixed feelings; on one hand, your protectiveness is very endearing and let's be honest, kinda funny–like a mouse squaring up to defend a lion. It's also very touching that you think she's worth going so far to defend–after all, Renata isn't used to being anyone's first priority, she's used to leveraging their first priority to get them to do what she wants. On the other hand, it's also frustrating–there are a lot of people who have less than sparkling opinions of her, and while she appreciates you trying to protect her reputation, the idea that you'll be in danger of so much as a broken nail sits poorly with her. If you ever got hurt on her behalf there would be no end to her overprotectiveness, and absolute hell to pay for whoever laid a hand on her darling. As such, she'll staunchly maintain that you absolutely should not be getting into fights on her behalf–not personally, at least. You've got bodyguards (she has far, far too many enemies for you not to, especially since you can't fight–but if you'd prefer, they can be so discreet you don't even notice them), get them to beat the fuck out of anyone who badmouths either of you, problem solved. She's been trying to convince you of this since the very first time someone said a harsh word to you and you burst into tears–there’s not a chance in hell someone makes you cry and walks away intact, but unfortunately she can't be with you all the time so someone has to pick up the slack.

Swain hears you getting into an argument firsthand through his birds, and his first reaction is worry, since he knows you don't react well to confrontation. His second reaction is an icy anger towards whoever is bothering you. Understandably, he's absolutely gobsmacked when you slap that person across the face for daring to insult him, and then immediately clutch your hand in pain. Then he's dropping everything he's doing to go get you, doesn't matter if he's in an important meeting, they can wait. If there's literally any danger of the person being suicidal enough to try and strike back, there's suddenly a giant demonic eyeball staring them down, and that scares them off pretty quick. Once he's sure you're okay and he's had a moment to collect himself, he'll very calmly request that you do not do that again. Harsh words don't phase him–you being in any kind of danger does. He understands how frustrating it is to hear someone insult a person you care about–there have been exactly two people stupid enough to badmouth you to Swain's face, and they conveniently were used as scapegoats for Swain's other political machinations (he’s very efficient–why not get revenge and profit at the same time?). He appreciates the thought and he's more than a little touched you'd go so far, but still, your safety is the most important thing to him.

[lass-us-slay]

Now imagine bee, now free of sub level 50, always feeling cold, freezing even. Nothing he ever does warms him up. Others grow concerned as he shivers in warm temperatures and becomes no longer functional in cold temps, simply because he's not used to it :((

Omg yes.

Like during their travels to find the matrix of leadership, B is shivering somewhat but it’s manageable because the suns out and is somewhat heating him up. Which is why he chooses to stay in the suns light while the rest decides to be in the shadows.

They’ve had enough of the heat from the mines ✋💀

But I would guess Elite, Orion and Dee dismiss the little clatters of B’s armor, writing it off as him being excited.

That is until they stop and rest, and with the sun gone, the cold settling in. B-127’s armor starts shivering more, which leads to B moving slightly further away from the group to not bother them.

And the next morning they ask, he shrugs saying idk, then they get to the cave with the primes.

Oh boy is B shivering.

The three other exchange glances cause that’s not normal. Yea it’s a little chilly but not freezing!

And then they get their cogs.

B can heat himself up from the inside now cause- transformation cogs allows that! :D

But it’s not enough.

His insides feel a little better with the internal heating, but that sh-t isn’t enough even on the highest setting.

I mean could anything beat the on holly levels of heat from that darn furnace room???

Unless he’s in a volcano? No.

But the internal heating makes B even more cold on the outside because he misses that warmth, that heat that was constantly melting his outsides AND insides from a how close to it he was.

And the first few hours of having the cogs is pure torture for B because now that he’s got some warmth, he needs more but can’t get it.

It was more bearable when he didn’t have any heating except the sun on his frame.

So he distracts himself from it by yapping a lot, more then usual about anything and everything, from the things he learned from the data pads to questions about the surface and Iacon.

And it works yk- even tho the high guard get a little worried when this yapping unconscious bot’s platting is shivering. But they don’t care they just want him to shut up-

But when Sentinel captures them?

Oh boy does that shivering sound so loud in the room.

Like at first Sentinel thinks it’s cause he’s scared, but then Arachnid reminds him it’s that guy that was sent to sub level 50

And Sentinel has this revelation and laughs

Cause he knew that room was a furnace, he just didn’t except the bot to get sent down to a literal smelter to still be alive.

And he’s impressed! But that doesn’t matter-

Anyways what I’m trying to say is, by the end Optimus goes to put a hand on B’s shoulder, and when he lifts it he has a full blown panic attack cause-

DID HE JUST DENT HIS SON FRIEND’S PLATTING?????!??? OH MY PRIMUS IF ITS THIS EASY TO HURT HIS SON FRIEND THEN CAN HE EVEN HUG OR SHOW PHYSICAL EFFECTION????? WHAT HAPPENS IF HE ACCIDENTALLY BUMPS INTO HIM?? WILL HE KILL HIS SON FRIEND??

IF HE CANT HAVE CUDDLES AND HAND HOKDING HE DONT WANT THE MATRIX

FRAG ITS PURPOSE AND IMPORTANCE HE WANTS TO SHOW PHYSICAL AFFECTION TO HIS LOVED ONES

IF HE NEEDS TO RIP THIS MATRIX PUT HIS CHASSIS TO BE ABLE TO HUG HIS SON AND FRIENDS THEN SO BE IT

[v-a-m-pxe]

Strange- Miguel O'Hara x Reader

TW: Mother reader, Blood/injuries, Bathing together and touching Genitals.

A/N: This is a story i really didn't think much of but i really cant think of anything right now but this so here's a story of Miguel i also want to make this a series.

Part 1...

Miguel never really left the house after your first baby Gabriela was born he always stayed no matter if he had a really good paying job he just couldn't leave you with the stress of a baby. You never knew much about his job which was apprehensive to you.

Today was not normal Miguel just disappeared, He wasn't home in his office like he usually is. You had his location but he turned his phone off. "Strange" you say as you paced back and forth from the front door all around the couch.

You tried calling him over and over but he just didn't answer the call, "Miguel please answer me" you repeated as the final call went through. "Baby i know you are worried but i'm not coming for a while te amo mami" he says on the spur of the moment.

"Miguel what's wrong why aren't you coming home!" you say trying not to shout because your new born baby is sleeping in the other room. BEEP, the phone hung up after you said your words worrying your husband has been taken by a villain making you scared you won't see him again.

Fear is all you felt the unsettling feeling making your stomach clench and small tears run down your face. You hear a sudden bang and cry from upstairs which triggers your mommy senses to run up and see what's wrong. You opened the door only to see a buff arms pick up your crying baby.

"Miguel is that you?" you say worried someone else is in your child's room his black figure turned around facing the door way where you were standing. "Yes darling" he says still holding baby gabi. "Why didn't you answer the phone and where were you?" you say with so many other questions falling behind the main one that needed to be answered.

"Shh amor gabi might wake up again" he says putting a finger up to his lips, you wanted to yell at him so bad but you didn't want your little baby to wake up from the commotion" Miguel tell me where were you i was worried and your phone was off" Miguel put gabi into her bed holding her little finger. He starts making his way out the room into the bathroom.

"MIGUEL IS THAT BLOOD?" you say holding your mouth as you look him up and down wide eyed "Yes, my nose was bleeding" he said taking his shirt off throwing it in the basket on the ground. WOW you forgot how sexy your husband was but you were still mad at him for making you worried and scared.

Miguel turned on the water to the bath tub and walked to the room like everything was normal, His demeanor was way off "Miguel what's up with you" you say walking up to him softly holding his arm so he wont move, suddenly he pulls you into a embrace squeezing you a little.

"love i got caught up with work, i didn't want you to worry too much but i'm here now so join me in the bath and ill show you a better apology" he says holding your hand leading you to the bathroom. You could only follow him pulling your clothes off your body seeing him do the same thing.

You both look at each other admiring the moment as if it was a painting on display, Miguel gets in first spreading his legs so you cant sit in between them. He starts rubbing down your back and shoulders " Tell me about your day mi Vida" he says still massaging your body making you feel so good and forgetting your worries.

"I had a really stressful day without you, Gabi cried a lot, my back started hurting, i just needed a break so bad" you say groaning from the feeling of his hands on your hurting back. "Its okay i'm here now don't stress anymore" he said rubbing your stomach and down.

You grab his hand leading it down to your heated cunt, Miguel rubs at your clit making you moan his name closing your eyes and relaxing as he does the work of pleasing you.

You heard a knock at the door which made you jump look up and suddenly the door opened...

A/N: i'm always rushing when i'm writing but i actually like this story i hope y'all like it too part 2 with be up by Sunday...

Part 2 is up!!

[kirbyystar]

fluff Inosuke - headcanon

character: Inosuke Hashibira

a/n: my kyojuro blog did so well (thank you for those who reblogged and liked <3) I decide to keep this going! I will be doing Inosuke in this blog, either Giyu or Tanjiro.

NOTE: my work will always purely be fluff. I will not write 18+ work as of now.

where do i start..

for one, he clearly has his own way of love. its clearly different and not what you might experienced with anyone else. but, his love is definitely one of a kind. Of course it took a while to grasp the idea you guys were together- his feelings were always there, he just didn't know how to cope with it. He likes to come back from missions with flowers for you <3 most of the time the flowers are crushed from being in his pocket. but its the thought that counts! he genuinely cares for you. in fact, your name is the only name he can verbally pronounce right! it took a while but he made it his goal to remember it! you understand he might be a bit.. naïve or silly most of the time but you're always there to help him understand, almost as if your guide. part of why hes so fond and attracted to you. you're so intelligent, he loves it.

his favorite thing about you is your personality

he loves how smart, bright, cheerful you are. especially when your his #1 cheerleader lol

inosuke loves your scent, you constantly remind him if he wants to cuddle or physical contact.. he gotta shower😭 hes always out of missions and now he comes back ready to shower to soon jump on you

many many things improved of him since being with you, in a good way ofc!

he loves to physically fight with you

most of the time, he wins. but when YOU win, he immediately demands a rematch

inosuke has his way of complimenting you

he doesn't usually use nicknames bc he somewhat manages to pronounce it wrong

"my paby" 😭 took you both at least 4 times to say "baby"

he loves LOVESS when you give him nicknames, especially if you praise him

praising him makes him feel like the king of the world

not really a kisser or a hugger, moments like these are rare

although he immediately folds and is basically at your feet when your in his presence. he just cant control himself

so, its clear to say, inosuke is in love with you. he won't ever admit being in love unless he truly felt. he's the type to be very honest and wouldn't want you to get hurt. he does his best with you because he wants you to be happy. he never wants you to leave him. separation is prolly the scariest thing for him. although its almost as if he has commitment issues, ONLY BECAUSE he worries a lot if he isn't good enough. (which ofc hes more than enough, hes everything) but inosuke is very open about the thought. just for reassurance from him. part of the reason why hes so scared to leave you is because how you guys met lol

both of you had a separate mission however, you just happen to cross path with inosuke. this made him headbutt you because silly inosuke thought you were trying to interfere with his mission </3 it was quite a moment though, he kept declaring he'll kill the demon before you can and you just stood there like... what LMAO its ok tho cuz after a lot of communication mainly from you, inosuke finally understand you, and it was almost as if it was fate, you guys kept crossing each others path, soon enough, you guys were doing missions together. it didnt bother either of you considering how many times you guys often seen each other.

hes not afraid to stand by you in public, holding hands only makes him more flustered ofc

but hes def the "man of the relationship"

wont let you hold any of your things when shopping

keeps notes you write for him so he can always read them <3

(you help him so much and hes truly thankful)

bluntly compliments you-

"y/n, you're so beautiful today."

he always got that smirk on his face when he knows he got you flustered lol

always backfires tho every time you say a comeback (as u should)

you guys be having the most random convos

Honestly, in the end, hes truly all you got and will do anything to protect you. Your happiness makes him happy, and thats all he needs.

divider: cafekitsune

[ask-eden]

The mew continues to scream and practically falls backwards, scooting away quickly from the manaphy Eden: W-WHAT. BUT YOU.. YOU WERE- Immune: I was what? The manaphy hops up happily, brushing her body off as if there was dust on it. Eden: Y... YOU.... Immune giggles and hops back over to Eden Immune: You are so silly and kind Mister Eden Sir! Crying over someone you just met! You have such a kind heart Sir! The manaphy does a little bow Immune: I am perfectly fine! Eden's fur doesn't puff back down, his hand shakily raising to point at the heart object on the ground and then back at Immune Eden: B-BUT... Y-YOURE.... Immune: Hmm? Oh? My gem? Oh no worries! The manaphy taps it gently with pride Immune: This is all standard procedure! Everything went as planned! Look! You are fully healed! The manaphy holds up the heart back to Eden, gently to not scare him further. Immune: When you wake up, you will be entirely healed! As if nothing ever happened Sir! Eden hesitantly takes the heart object back from her, his other hand quickly trying to soothe down his fur Eden: T-then... What about... Y-youre...? Did you just... Immune: MMmhmmm! I absorbed ALL of your physical pain and injuries! But worry not! I cant feel a thing Mister Eden! That is why they call it "Heart SWAP" Sir! Eden cocks his head confused, grabbing his tail gently to cover himself in a feeble attempt to calm himself down from the sight Eden: It... it doesn't... hurt...? Immune: I have no physical form, so therefore, no nerves to feel pain or agony! Eden: S-so.. it doesn't... h-hurt at ALL? Immune: Would you like it to hurt me Mister Eden? Eden: N-NO! I J-JUST... WHY WOULD ANYONE... W-wANT THAT... Immune shrugs and sits down in front of the mew, almost playfully Immune: Sometimes people want others to feel the pain they feel Eden: W-well I d-don't want that!!! N-never EVER!! The two sit in awkward silence as Eden begins to slowly calm himself back down. Eden gritting his teeth and attempting to brush his fur back down to normal. He really thought she had died on the spot and the shook feeling was refusing to go away Immune merely kicks her feet in the air as she observes

[lotusmi]

Inner self must be exalted

📚PART 4: The True Self Must Be Exalted

read more of my summaries | full post on reddit

⬸ [go to PART 3, "He who will not live by love will be subdued by fear"]

I wrote how you must remove "outer world" from the mind and I think I need to expand on that. Hopefully this different view shows you exactly what I mean.

It comes down to who you think you are. Who you are identifying yourself with.

In order to feel completely free, you must identify yourself with the one within you.

So when you go to meditate, close your eyes and remove the outer-world. It is just this blackness. This sacred area of Creation. This place is where you can conjure up images and words you want to hear or what you don't want to hear and see. But you are doing it all.

Now listen to the voice in your mind, your awareness. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS: THAT IS YOU. THAT IS THE TRUE YOU. NOT THIS BODY. THAT IS "SELF" !!!

When Neville says "Leave the world just as it is and change self. No one to change but self," he means the self that is within, the only self there is. Why leave the world alone? Because it is only an expression of "SELF!" Why does he say to change that and that alone? Because "SELF MUST BE EXPRESSED," that is the Law. You don't have to doubt "is my imaginal act going to come to pass?" Who is doubting? "SELF!" Who is worrying? "SELF!" What gets expressed? "SELF!" YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST THAT SELF WILL BE EXPRESSED!

Here is what I mean: That voice, the one in you that imagines, is YOU. THAT IS THE ONE WHO IS DESIRING. THAT IS THE ONE WANTS TO BE EXALTED. THAT IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO HAVE THEIR DESIRES FULFILLED.

Discard the outer-world and that includes your identification with this body. This is ALL an EXPRESSION OF THAT "SELF."

So just take a moment and close your eyes and see the blackness. Then pay attention to your inner voice. THAT IS THE ONE WHO IS DESIRING. THAT IS THE ONE WHO IS IN PAIN. THAT IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO BE FREE FROM ITS BONDAGE. THAT IS THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO BE EXALTED, THE TRUE "SELF." THAT IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO SEE BEAUTY, TO HEAR GOOD NEWS. THAT IS THE ONE WHO DESIRES TO LIVE A LOVELY LIFE!

So give it to yourself in your mind! It is incredibly simple. If you take what I say seriously, you will change how you see and live life. You will identify yourself from within and you will grant your every wish from within. It does not matter if it is impossible, if your "SELF" wants it, grant it within. There are no rules for that "Self." If it wants guilt gone, then remove guilt in the mind. Feel forgiven and its all fine, that Self the true you, is desiring that. There are no rules that says you cant have. The beautiful thing is that the inner world can give you anything. I hate separating You and Self because they are not separate, but I am just doing that for clarity.

If you embarrass yourself in your mind, or hurt yourself, spark fear into yourself, you are doing that to "Self" the true you which is expressed. You worry about what society thinks, what so-so might think? Who is worrying? SELF! It is ALL YOU. Then you feel hurt, scared and you feel you can have what you want but who is hurt and scared? Your body? No, it is the inner you, the true you. The one who can shed its skin (state) like a snake. When you are fearing, who is doing it? THAT "SELF!" YOU. IT IS IMAGINING IT! But that "Self" does not want to feel that fear anymore, it desires to imagine something new.

[!] But since you identify yourself with outer-world and outer-self instead of your True Self and inner-world where everything is possible, you remain stuck [☆]. "SELF" becomes irritated, fearful etc. You feel fear in your body, your irritations, that angst will forever remain until you fulfill it within.

So that "SELF" that you are scaring, embarrassing gets expressed! If you want to change, leave the fearful, embarrassing, irritating world just as it is. Do exactly what Neville says. Then identify yourself FULLY with your True Self, the one that is desiring within. Then fulfill all your dreams to its fullest.

We already do this but we do it in ways that are harmful to "Self." We try to eat this and that, and read this and that to save "SELF," but "Self" cannot be saved by outer means. Self always wants fulfillment [☆].

So identify yourself, not with this world, but with the one within, the one who is truly desiring.

[go to PART 5, "Imagining is fun" ] ⤑