#and saying it on main would have not been productive

[dilatorywriting]

Twisted Hearts: The DLC

Gender Neutral Reader x The Draconia Fam Word Count: 3.2k

Summary: In which the Isekai Truck Driver of Fate sends you right into the messiest Briar Valley Sitcom you never could have asked for. Found family wasn't meant to come with a kill count, you don't think.

Twisted Hearts was a game that had grown so popular that it had veritably wound up eating itself along the way.

What had started as a simple but effective love story spanning the social hierarchy of a medieval world had shot off into horror game emulators, snack brand sponsorships with weird, integrated advertisements straight out of The Truman Show, and so many DLC character packs that the original cover art boys had all but been drowned in a sea of pastel ikemen with tragic backstories each more miserably sad than the last.

The creators had concocted sweeping romance routes for every available NPC down to the distant, foreign merchant mentioned exactly once in a letter you could unlock during one of seven royal escapade routes. They’d even introduced technology—technomancers, technically. As if a fancy name suddenly made the idea of dragging beep-boop squeaking robots into a world still living without modern plumbing less of a desperate bid for relevancy. They’d run through a hundred heroes and a hundred villains. Written ‘I object!’ into so many wedding scenes that it ought to have been basic tradition for nuptials by this point. The spited lovers laughing in glee could all be overlayed into their own goddamn harmonized symphony, and the list of tropes lined up and ticked off like an itemized to-do list could have made a bureaucrat wince.  

And you hated it.

The miserable, repetitive, corporate slop it had become. A money tree blooming from what had once been a seed of genuine greatness.

No, the original plot had never been anything to write home about. A tale of lovebirds finding solace in one another in a world where pairings were made off practicality and romance treated as a tool. The King falls for his Lowly Servant, and his Vengeful Fiancé will ruin them. The Second Prince falls for his rival royal’s Lowly Servant, and his Vengeful Betrothed will ruin them. The foreign dignitary falls for his host’s Lowly Servant—and on and on. But what had made that generic garbage so worthwhile had been the golden shine of the characters buried beneath it all. True gems hidden just there, right beside the sludge.

So you’d stuck around. For them. As ridiculous as that sounded.

Endured all the pay-to-play walls, and the looping circles of cliffhangers, and the product placement. Scoured each new route like a weary archeologist searching for the creaking remnants of a lost civilization. For just five keys you can unlock a special dialogue branch off the main route with [Selected Character]—

And maybe the original story had just happened to come along at a time in your life when you’d needed it most—had offered up lovely, warm promises of forever when a scarred, fragile heart had wanted that gentleness so terribly. It’s hard to forget the first person who tells you that they love you, that you’re worth something to the world. Even if the voice behind such a sentiment is filtered through the tinny grain of a laptop speaker and their soft smiles grew pixelated at the edges.  

But anyways.

The point of all of that was to say that you knew this goddamned game. You knew every ending, every dialogue pitfall, every enemy, everything.

So you would certainly know when you’d wound up as one of its most reviled antagonists.

‘Brother Complex,’ as they were so often called, did not have a set name. Like Professor Oak so often forgot the moniker of his own flesh and blood, the player was expected to look the littlest Prince or Princess of Briar Valley in the eye and dub them whatever they wished. It was one of the first examples of an otome game so flagrantly allowing their player base to project their most hated foe onto its antagonist. Middle school nerd drama had found a new battle ground in Twisted Hearts: The Regency Routes.

‘Brother Complex’ was a character that hadn’t existed in the original series, but had been incorporated along the line as an extra level of challenge for those who saw Lord Rune’s reign as an obstacle too easily toppled. ‘Brother Complex’ was Malleus Draconia’s adopted sibling—a rare, draconic fae, just like him. One of perhaps the last in existence. ‘Brother Complex’ doted on Malleus, and expected just as much rabid devotion in return. They were expected to grow together, age together, and eventually wed—restoring the dragon race to the land and ruling as a beloved king and queen for all time. And that was what made ‘Brother Complex’ so much more of a fight.

Because the original Malleus hated Lord Rune. Playing the main character in that tale was more a fight to avoid the petulant fae’s attempts on your life than it was to win the male lead’s heart. And no one liked Rune in those timelines. So sneaking your way into the dragon’s arms didn’t leave many dissenting voices in the crowd.

But ‘Brother Complex’ was not that. Malleus adored his sibling, and on top of that, they were two dragons. Veritably destined to wind up mated and married. Childhood friends to lovers with just enough of a sprinkling of forbidden ‘oh, step-bro, what are you doing?’ to make things juicy. So when you played as the MC in that story, you were out there fighting for your goddamned life. Battling with an antagonist who had the male lead wrapped around their little finger, and the entire government body of their world rooting for their success.

On one hand, it made for a genuinely intriguing story. Particularly as the MC uncovered more and more about ‘Brother Complex’ and all of the dastardly deeds carried out in the name of keeping their favored sibling all for themself. On the other hand, it had landed ‘Brother Complex’ at the top of everyone’s villain shit list. They had the worst deaths, the cruelest ends, and the most fandom antagonism you had ever witnessed on god’s green earth. Unlike in many other otome tales where the hero’s failure just meant spiraling into their own demise, you could snap in this one. Kill the scheming sibling when you saw no other option to end their reign of terror, and in doing so, lose the love of your life in the process. Or said sibling could even off themself in the name of laying blame on your weary shoulders—backed into a corner with no way to victory, so deciding to simply take the MC down with them. It was complicated, it was dramatic.

And now your life, it would seem.

Because when you had first woke with teeny, tiny claws for hands and fluffy wings at your back, you hadn’t thought anything terrible at all. Just that Heaven was pretty cool, and you would love to be a dragon. Even if you were only the size of a housecat for now.

But then you’d seen him. Lilia Vanrouge. A man who needed no introduction but received one in every iteration of Twisted Hearts that had ever been released nonetheless. Adopted son of Maleficia Draconia, companion and brother to Maleanor Draconia, father figure and blood uncle to none other than Malleus Draconia, himself—the Cover Art Boy. The hallowed night general who had reared not only the future dark prince, but his sibling.

Brother Complex.

Fuck.

“Oh, you poor thing,” the fae frowned, leaning down amidst the heavy droplets of a Very Convenient Rainstorm to shield your teeny head. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

‘Not letting you pull me into Plot Hell, is what!’ you hissed, instantly scrabbling for a tree, a big rock, anything.

Lilia yelped out a ‘hey!’ and was diving after you before you could blink. He almost got a hand around your tail, but you turned around and bit him square along the wrist until he was cursing under his breath and dropping you back into the mud.

“Get back here! You little—!”

No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. You weren’t going to face down the isekai gods just to wind up as the most hated antagonist in all of bodice-ripping literature. Because what else could you be. With your useless, fat wings and snuffling, silver snout. Made to be a literal foil to Malleus’s sleek, black hide and sharp edges.

You jumped for it—dove into the air like a fat caterpillar dreaming of its wings—and Lilia snatched you out of her freefall with a squawk.

“You—” he gasped, winded, and you smacked him square in the face with the feathered tufts of your tail.

He spat the downy fluff from his mouth and you screamed enough obscenities at him to make the devil blush. But all that came out of your pointy toothed maw was a cacophony of shrieks, and bleats, and growls that were infuriatingly squeaky.  

Lilia huffed, eyes narrowing as you hissed, and spat, and chewed at his fingers.

“You’re not making this easy, you know,” he complained, bordering on good natured, and you wondered if you could force yourself to shit in his lap. “I don’t know how you managed to get yourself stuck all the way out here,” he continued, and you were really focusing now. You swore you could feel your stomach starting to churn. “But for a hatchling—and you—you’re a—"

You opened your mouth and promptly vomited all over his vest.

Lilia gawked, you preened. You burped, a cloud of funky, unpleasant mist that had Lilia wrinkling his nose.

“…Such a baby,” he rumbled under his breath, and you turned up your nose.

But then his palm came down to rest between the buds of your new horns and you froze. Because Lilia was smiling. Small, and crooked, and amused.

“You have a lot of manners to learn, I see.”

You gulped.

Lilia reached up to tweak the point of your snout between his black-tipped nails and you burped again in a miserable effort to burn off his hands. He snorted and tucked you into the loose hood of his cloak, wrapped up like a burrito and restrained. You wiggled, miserable, and Lilia shot you a smirk.

“Nice try, beastie. But I’ve had more than my fair share of experience with unruly children already. You can’t beat me.”

You scrunched up your nose in irritation and then tipped open your silver maw with a yelp. To wail, and wail, and wail the whole way home.

.

.

You arrived at the Wild Rose Palace in the same sort of way that you pictured children sneaking frogs into the house in their back pockets.

Lilia kept you tucked in the folds of his cloak the whole while, whispering promises of treats and toys if you just kept quiet for a little longer. Your lip curled, and you would have screamed out of spite alone. But you’d roared your teeny throat so sore that you couldn’t do much but croak in miserable complaint. A proper pocket toad, indeed.

Eventually the flashes of light from windows, and chandeliers, and who knew what else came to a steady standstill. Soft, repetitive flickers of pale green licking the walls rather than wispy streaks of smudged embers whipping by. Lilia shifted, pulling you from the makeshift cradle of his arms, and you were rumbling on a snarl again all at once. This time he was clever enough to keep his fingers well out of reach, but surely there were more ways you could manage to wiggle free.

“You’re late,” a silken voice trilled, far too amused at something so simple, and from above you, Lilia’s mouth curled into a smirk.

“Oh? We had a prior engagement? Other than you simply taking all your dedicated periods of counsel to tug at my pigtails?”

“I’d cut them right off your head if you still had them,” the other lamented. There was a shfft, expensive fabrics slipping against each other in a waterfall of velvet. “What have you got there? Another mortal bauble for your collections?”

Lilia puffed, and you gnawed determinedly at the buttons on his vest.  

“Not exactly.”

There was a pause—telling, somehow. And the air of whomever Lilia was sparring with shifted alongside it. Into something focused and stern.

“Well. Go on then. Out with it.”

The night general held you aloft in your burrito prison like a baker presenting his most prized loaf of bread out of the oven. And the whole room went silent all at once. Even the crackle of the flaming sconces seemed to fall muted beneath the sweep of… whatever had settled over the hall. You blinked, dizzy from the height, and promptly sneezed in a burst of sparking, silver embers all over the floor.

“…this cannot be.”

“That’s what I thought as well,” Lilia returned, gently lowering you flailing self back down to the floor. You rolled around in a mess of feathers and clumsy wings—scrabbling at the black marble and flopping over face first when your little claws slid right out from under you. Lilia scooped you gently beneath the arms to right you again, and you bowled right back over in an attempt to swat him away. “But I found them. Abandoned by the borders of the Verduous Moors.”

“The Moors?”

Another pause.

You bolted forward, running in place against the slippery floors, and Lilia calmly reached out to pull you back by the scruff with a screech of nails over tile.

“…it’s been years,” the woman continued. Maleanor, you realized. There had only been a few portraits of her shown throughout the whole of the game—that, at least, had been kept sacred no matter how the IP descended into degeneracy—but her regal visage and youthful, sharp face would have been enough to give it away.

She was meant to die, as all Mother’s were in games like this. More space for a soft touch later in life, when the poor, lonely hero needed it most. But clearly whatever tragedy befell her had not yet had a chance to sink its teeth into this happy, blooming family and rend it apart. She looked down at you with narrowed, emerald eyes that crackled with a power that you could feel all the way from across the hall. You shivered before you could help it, curling down into a teeny, tiny ball of scrunchy fluff and feathers.

“And there was no one else? You’re certain?” she pressed, something anxious twisting her lovely features. Her claws drummed against the seat of her throne, sending off sparks of spitting, black static into the air.

Lilia shook his head, already bending to work away at easing you out of your armadillo squat.

“No one, Melly.”

You could have sworn that the Great Queen’s lip wobbled at that. Something quick, and jerky, but there. And then she was clenching her jaw and lolling back against the high back of her throne with a put-upon sigh.

“Well then, do whatever you like with it. It’s hardly my concern.”

You paused in your cycle of burrowing and biting to rear up, startled. None of her concern? But Brother Complex had done nothing but wax on and on about Maleanor’s grace and sweetness—how the dragon queen had so readily brought this new hatchling into her fold. Maybe that little bitch had really just been a liar through and through, or maybe you had already managed to make such a poor impression that Briar Valley’s Matriarch was happy to throw you out on your ass.

You perked up, tail nearly wagging, as you turned to trot towards the nearest window. Ready to take a plunge to freedom.

But then there was another noise.

A small, squeaky yawn and a leathery flutter not unlike a bat’s wings.

You turned before you could help it, serpentine eyes narrowing in on the sound like a second instinct. There, rising from a heap on Maleanor’s lap the same color and sleekness of her ebony dress, was Malleus Draconia. Or, well, the creature that would one day become Malleus Draconia. Right now he was just… a lump. A small, black and purple drake with the proportions of what a dragon might look like if drawn from memory by a toddler. Thick and round at the middle with eyes far too big for his head and wings far too stubby for the rest of him. He yawned again, high pitched and whiny. And instantly Maleanor was bending down to fuss over him with big kissy faces and head scritches.

But Malleus was looking at you.

With those stupidly vacant eyes and head tilted like a dog.

A sharp ‘what the fuck are you looking at’ came out as barely a chirp—like an angry baby bird. And Malleus blinked again, out of sync and slow. Your hackles raised and you paced in place, stomping your little feet and swishing your tail. Because this was the man who would lead to your end in all but a select few timelines. And on top of that, there was some new, core, instinctual part of you that was rearing up afraid over the idea of a strange dragon snuffling around your very delicate self. You bared your fangs and Malleus showed his in a strange, gummy display that almost looked like an attempt at a smile. But awful.

You stomped again and Malleus hopped down from his mother’s lap like a spoiled house cat. He fell half-way off her knees and the Queen had to give him a proper scoop to help him to the floor, but he just rolled forward with it like a pill bug. Used to the coddling.

Your feathery hackles arched up and up the closer he trotted, and off to the side Maleanor and Lilia were sharing an entire, silent conversation in terse looks and astonishment.

Malleus plopped himself down about a foot away, forked tongue flicking past his canines. And he just… stared. There was a low, slow rumble coming from somewhere in his throat, and you Did Not Like It. You curled around yourself with a growl, ears flat and claws kneading anxiously into your tail feathers.

And then the future Dragon King and Demon Lord folded over onto his side like a deflated balloon—head against your furred hip and stared up at you with the most braindead, green eyes you had ever seen in your entire life.

“…Sevens,” someone gawked, and Malleus’s tongue flopped out of his mouth like fucking road kill.

“Do you think he—”

“—Maybe it’s—”

“—And if that’s really—”

You glared down and Malleus returned your bitter leer with something so endlessly empty for a moment you wondered if he was even alive in there at all. He reached out with one of his clawed toes—syrup slow and lazy. And then his talons were kneading into your tail alongside your own, and he sighed contentedly. Burrowing into the fluff there with a strange thrum almost like a purr.

“…well,” Maleanor choked. “I suppose that decides that.”

“It does indeed,” Lilia echoed, sounding distantly astonished.

The princeling hummed again, low and long, and Maleanor murmured something that you did not want to even think about.

“Do you hear that, beastie,” Lilia called, warm. “You’re going to be staying with us now, hmm? How’s that sound?”

You lunged forward and bit Malleus straight in his Cover Boy snout.

.

.

[bearbackyard]

Wild Card - Bobby x Reader | Chapter 3: All I've Ever Known

why'd you make them exchange instagrams rather than whatsapp" shhhhhh. in the middle of writing this, there was a big car fire near my house lawl. i thought this was so much longer than it was but its a transition chapter bare with me. the format looks so much better on docs ughfhfhsjsjns

No warnings

Summary:

Music, sound, it was your everything.

So the day you found your baby cousins notebook was the day you knew she’d be something golden.

or

Zoey's older cousin, her main supporter throughout her teen years, ends up befriending and falling for her manager.

Word count: 1770 here for ao3 link! part 1 2 3 4

June 16th, 2025. 8:00 am (PST)

You groaned, rubbing your eyes before shutting off your alarm. Phone still in hand, you flopped back down on your bed and put your arm over your eyes with a sigh. You’d been on a brief break. The last show your small theater company had done had really sucked the energy out of everyone; cast, crew, and orchestra. Today it was back to work. New set, new roles, and having to figure out if you’re going to be on the sound board or in the orchestra pit. 

There was a deep pit in your chest. This was your dream. You loved playing with people, for people. You loved supporting a cast and watching everything come together. You were tired of it though. Tired of the same theater on the same street in the same city you’ve been in for your entire life. You don’t hate it, of course you didn’t. You loved your city and the people in it, but you needed a change. You wanted to travel, to see the world. It just seems like it wasn’t in the cards for you.

Ping!

Lifting your arm, you blinked the dark spots away before checking the notification on your phone. 

WhatsApp: One new message from Bobby. 

You smiled a bit before opening the message. You’d swapped Instagrams after your little dance at Zoey’s welcome home party. The app had gone down one night last week in the middle of a late night conversation and you both decided it would be better to switch apps. 

Bobby

Good morning Y/n! Good luck with starting the new production today!

Bobby

Or is it break a leg? 

You giggled as you messaged him back. 

You

Good morning!! Thank you Bobby :) I hope tonight's show goes well <3

Feeling a little more energized, you got out of bed and started your morning routine. You studied yourself in the mirror for longer than you intended. You looked tired but at the same time, hopeful. Like someone had sparked something inside of you that made you feel more energized than you had in months.

You walked out of the bathroom, grabbed your bag, keys, and walked out the door.

-

Bobby was losing his mind. One of the people on the audio team had been driving him up the walls. There was just something wrong everyday, with them or with their surroundings that they just refused to work. 

He was so tired of it. The only thing that kept him going was thinking of that night two weeks ago. He had so much fun. Not just dancing with you, but being able to see the girls just… being themselves around a large group of people warmed his heart. 

They were currently in Tennessee which had a two hour time difference. He’d waited as patiently as he could to send you a message, considering he’d been up since 6 am, and he didn’t want to schedule the message because he thought that wouldn’t be genuine. So he waited. Dealt with the obnoxious audio tech as much as he could, making sure the girls had eaten, patching up small tears in their costumes. He even went out to get the girls a bunch of snacks from multiple stores and it still felt like time was dragging on and on and on and on and…

Oh, it's 10:59. 

Bobby hurriedly took out his phone, nearly dropping it, as he opened WhatsApp. 

You

Good morning Y/n! Good luck with starting the new production today!

He suddenly remembered all the old theater superstitions; don’t say MacBeth, don’t say “good luck,” don’t forget to leave the ghost light on. Bobby quickly typed out a message which sounded way more nervous when he read it than it did to you. 

You

Or is it break a leg? 

God, why was he so awkward? Why couldn’t he talk - or type - normally? A pretty lady takes interest in him and he just- 

You texted back!!

Y/n

Good morning!! Thank you Bobby :) I hope tonight's show goes well <3

…

Someone help him. Any God or spirit or even that obnoxious audio tech, please help him control his heart. It's just a heart. Two characters put together. It doesn’t mean anything, right? God, Bobby,  you’ve barely known the girl for two weeks! 

“Bobby! Jen has a problem! Again.” One of the stage hands said.

Whatever, it probably meant nothing

-

It definitely meant something.

It meant enough that anytime you thought of the little heart you sent, you got giddy. Like that middle ground embarrassed by hyper kind of giddy. There was nothing wrong with it. It was just a sweet “wish you well" message. And if you were to flirt with him, you’re into him. That's not a crime. Even if he is your cousin's manager, you’re both adults and it's fine. 

“Y/n! Did you hear what I said?”

“Oh, sorry Layla! Here I come.”

-

June 30th, 2025. 9:30 pm (PST)/12:30 am (EDT)

“So you’re in the orchestra pit this production?” 

“Yeah!” You said. “I’m really happy. I missed playing.” 

Huntr/x had just finished their Miami show and were back in their hotel for the night. Bobby, having gotten stressed out over the same audio tech again, needed to do something to decompress so he decided to call you.

“You said you guys were doing Hadestown, right?�� He sounded tired. His voice was a bit groggy and, what you couldn’t see, was him laying on his side, looking at his phone with the biggest, giddy, tired smile on his face. Just talking to you was calming him down and he was trying his best to not fall asleep. “What’s it about?”

You gasped excitedly. “You’ve never heard of it? It’s based on the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice.” You went on to explain the plot, now laying in your own bed. Your phone was on your bedside table while you laid on your back. About halfway through your retelling, you heard small snores coming from his end.

You stopped, smiling before biting your lip. You didn’t want to hang up, too scared the sound would wake him up.

“Good night, Bobby.” You switched off your lamp and settled into bed, shutting your eyes and falling asleep with one of your favorite people on the line.

-

July 2nd, 2025. 10:00 pm (PST).

Everyone was gathered on the stage. A couple of the actors were sitting on the floor, reciting lines and rehearsing songs. You and a few other band members were tuning your instruments while the crew fit the remaining cast in their microphones. It was one of the last rehearsals before next week's performances and Joel, the owner of the theater, had called everyone to a meeting. 

The older man stepped on the stage. He looked upset, defeated. It made everyone immediately quiet down and look towards him as he took a deep breath. “Well, I don’t know how to put this. I, along with the rest of the community, have been working day and night to combat the city’s plans to buy out the arts center. Many of you even accompanied me to numerous city halls.”

“I appreciate all the work that you and the rest of the community has put into this project but, it is with a heavy heart that I…” He took a breath.

No. Please, no. Please just be messing with us. You felt your heart drop, holding your breath. You set your instrument down on your seat slowly.

Tears welled up in Joel's eyes as he confirmed your fears. “That I must announce that the city has denied our appeal and that they’ve moved up their construction date to two weeks from now.” 

The theater erupted in gasps and sobs as cast and crew, those who’ve been here since the start and new talents that had only joined in the last two months embraced each other, fell to ground, pulled on their hair. 

“I am so sorry.” Joel could hardly maintain himself. “This theater has been my dream for years. To be able to work with you all has truly been a gift and I-” A choked sob escaped him as you and others tried to console him. You hugged the man as tight as you could as the theater dealt with the news.

Someone from the cast, you couldn’t tell who through your tears, spoke up with a fire in her voice no matter how many tears fell from her face. “Then let's knock this show out of the park. They can take our theater, but they can’t take our hearts.”

She was right but… what would you do now?

-

“You know what, I’m done. I’m putting in my two weeks. Once we’re out of this country, you better have found yourself a new sound tech.” Jen rolled their eyes at Bobby. “You’re lucky I don’t just leave now.” 

Bobby has never been more happy to see a crew member quit, but now he only has two weeks to find a replacement? Well, it's time to get looking.

-

The rest of rehearsal was hard, but you all pushed through. Locking your apartment door behind you, you set your instrument case down and drug your feet all the way to your bed. Falling face first, you fished your phone out of your pocket and called Bobby. You didn’t even bother to check the time, you just called him in hopes that you could talk to someone.

And to your luck, he answered. 

“Hi Y/n!” You felt the tightness in your chest loosen just a bit.

“Hi Bobby.” God you sounded pathetic. 

“Hey, what's wrong? Are you alright? Did something happen?” He was worried. He didn’t like hearing you sound so upset. 

You took a deep breath in, bracing yourself as if when you say it, it’ll happen faster. “The theater’s closing down. The city denied the appeal and moved the construction date up. We have two weeks.” You let out a shaky breath. “What am I going to do, Bobby? I haven’t worked anywhere else since I graduated college. Where am I going to find someplace to hire me that’ll let me do what I love? All the other theaters are full.” You held your hands over your face, refusing to let your tears fall.

He took a minute to comfort you. Let you process a bit more until he got an idea.

“Hey, I know it's really big, but our main sound person quit. Do you want to come work with us?”

-

tags

@joyfulllittlething

@blackstar-gazer

@minkyungseokie

@wondertoad

[astroboyart]

Bit of an odd one but do you call him Astro/Astro Boy or Atom? (Or some other third option)

Personally, I call him Atom as that's what his original name is in Japan ( アトム , Atomu ).

Occasionally, I'll also use Astro or Astro Boy in certain contexts, but for the most part, I prefer using Atom.

I certainly will not judge anyone who uses either name though. In fact, I welcome seeing either name!

Tezuka Productions refers to him as Astro when communicating in English, and I think even Osamu Tezuka himself would call him Astro when working with Western companies and audiences.

I will say that it was interesting hearing him called Atom in the dub of the 2023 Pluto anime! With this blog having been around since 2016 and with me using the name Atom since that time, I sometimes have to wonder how much I might've influenced the people in charge of that dub using names like Atom and Dr. Ochanomizu!

For anyone seeing this post: which name for the main character of the franchise do you like to use?

[betty-fran]

I think the main problem with any sequels/prequels/reboots/adaptations/etc. is that they don't just rework the text of the original, they rework its perception. You can stay as close to the original as possible, but completely twist the very idea of ​​the work (which, for example, happened with Tarkovsky's adaptation of Lem's Solaris). Honestly, I've rarely come across really good adaptations. Post-TOS films start with the words based on Star Trek because it's still an interpretation, one way or another, and the filmmakers are well aware of this. But it seems to me that this understanding is lost outside the fandom (and sometimes even within the fandom itself) because Star Trek is positioned as a franchise, and the events of the films are perceived as a continuation of the original series. That is, for me, for example, as a person who only watched AOS during my university years (and before that I only heard about Star Trek in The Big Bang Theory), and who even from fanfiction had an idea about "one way or another, the events of the series lead to the events of the films", TOS became an absolute revelation.

Unfortunately, my generation on forward mostly got to know the characters first from the movies. TOS was a little dated and slow paced, but the movies hold up better for a younger audience, so a lot more of us watched those first.

It's really interesting to know. I had a slightly different situation considering the conditions in which I grew up. I'm pretty sure TOS wasn't shown in the Soviet Union; the films might have been shown after the collapse in 90s, but my parents never watched them, and I also don't remember them from my childhood... It's actually hard for me to say that Star Trek was ever really popular in the post-Soviet space, well, in Ukraine anyway, among my (mostly artistic/literary/cultural) circle in which I grew up, were popular Star Wars, or Marvel, or LOTR, or HP (in my childhood) but not ST, and even AOS I watched completely by accident years after Beyond was released. So I watched TOS for the first time only this spring, and watching the films now, they really feel fundamentally different from the original.

TMP and TWOK, besides being very bad at reading the characters, are firstly poorly filmed, and because I'm a production designer (by education), it's kind of painful to watch. So I'm pretty critical of them (but I don't want to offend anyone who likes them, they're still quite romantic, and I find it charming). I really like The Search for Spock and The Voyage Home (we finally watched them with my sister). And Nimoy was an objectively good director, I would be really interested to see how he would have directed the first two films if he had the chance. That is, these are still separate things from TOS, but they are good.

I completely agree that TOS Kirk would never accept the admiral's position and lock himself up like that in an office on Earth; it completely contradicts his very essence, and since it makes up the main plot of the films, it makes them so "out of character" in the first place. And I completely agree about Spock, and that his reset as a character deserves a separate post (it's obviously harder for me to write about him), I also believe that TOS Spock, after all the development of his character throughout the series, after season 3 and especially Turnabout Intruder, would never have decided to leave Jim and go to Kolinahr. And although this is generally explained by "he was scared of the power of his own feelings etc. something happened between him and Jim etc.", but this actually contradicts TOS, so it's perceived as some kind of absolute alternative branch of events. And Spock actually experiences more than one reset as a character, because after seemingly accepting his own feelings in TMP, he is again quite constrained in TWOK, and then he dies and loses his memory, and oh my god, it's so in the style of those 80s melodramas, Idk. Therefore, all this is really very difficult to perceive in connection with TOS.

But when I write TOS fic, I write within a canon that ends with Turnabout Intruder.

And I especially, especially agree with this.

Thank you very much for your reply, it's always very interesting to read what you write!

Being in the process of watching post-TOS films right now, and having rather mixed feelings about it, there is something that probably surprises me the most about all of this. We talk a lot about AOS Kirk and even SNW Kirk (which Paramount tries to show us as the canon young Kirk) as being non-TOS-canon, very different readings of Kirk as a character, but we never really talk about the fact that Film!Kirk is an equally non-TOS-canon reading of the character.

ETA: this is going to be a very long post that I wanted to finish earlier, but my latest meltdown obviously didn't let me finish anything I had planned this week.

[there will be a bit of film criticism now, you can skip that right away and move on to criticizing Kirk's characterization… this really sounds bad, but don't get me wrong, I like post-TOS films, but they're so damn different and I want to talk about it]

The post-TOS films certainly lose all the noir and theatricality of TOS, all its épater la bourgeoisie, this legacy of old cinema (TOS, strangely enough, is completely a child of the golden age of Hollywod, and is much closer to "Casablanca" than to "Star Wars") by completely projecting itself into science fiction (which, to be honest, was the last thing TOS did at all, like they flew in space, of course, but it was such an obviously special transcendent type of space, where you would rather meet Socrates than Xenomorph) and outright militarism.

Perhaps the most shocking moment in "The Motion Picture", and my personal point of no return in the sequels, was one of the opening scenes in the Enterprise's transporter room. The ship wasn't ready to leave yet, and the transporter wasn't working properly, but two crew members were sent out of the Starfleet transporter room, and they… just died in the process (why?). This wasn't negligence on the part of the ship or the crew; it was clearly blatant negligence on the part of Starfleet, and it was presented so quickly and dryly as if it were a fairly routine situation for everyone. They were a little upset, shook their heads, and went off to more pressing matters. It was an absolutely unnecessary scene for the plot (the only thing it affects is the appearance of a vacant science officer position on the ship, which, like, could’ve been vacant anyway? these scene is generally never mentioned again, you could just not add it at all), meaningless and cruel in its absurdity, which perfectly highlights the changes in the approach to the display of violence between the 60s and 80s.

[Enterprise transporter room] RAND: Do you read me Starfleet? Override us. Pull them back! STARFLEET [OC]: Unable to receive their pattern, Enterprise. KIRK: Give it to me. Starfleet, boost your matter gain, we need more signal! ...More signal! SCOTT: We're losing their pattern. RAND: Oh, no! They're forming! WOMAN: (a scream) SONAK: (a moan) KIRK: Starfleet, do you have them? STARFLEET [OC]: Enterprise, ...what we got back didn't live long, ...fortunately. KIRK: Starfleet, ...Kirk. Please ...express my condolences to their families. Commander Sonak's can be reached through the Vulcan Embassy. There was nothing you could have done, Rand. It wasn't your fault.

All of these things were the result, in political and cultural changes, the growth of noticeable gloom in science fiction, and mostly changes that the film industry experienced after the 1960s (the rapid development of technology, the expansion of the audience, and the attempt to move away from the theatrical relic of the past to spectacular films) and in the sequels this is felt not only in the script, which emphasizes dynamic scenes and is much more simplified in literary terms, but also in the acting, which is already much more static and tied to the camera (the acting is one of the reasons why TMP is so difficult to watch, apart from the frankly weak direction and editing, and despite the pretty good [still very Roddenberry-esque with all this love is a touch but not a touch] plot, which is quite funny, because the fact that this is happening against the background of the character of Ilia, who really plays a non-human /a body/ that uses a computer, doesn’tt improve the situation in any way, because none of the actors look noticeably more alive than her, and the only glimpse of emotion in the entire film is the scenes between K/S, which is of course very sweet, but…).

First of all, this concerns Shatner, who is actually a very good theatrical actor (and criticism of his performance in TOS is completely incomprehensible to me). Where he is absolutely alive, natural, and sincere in the noir, theatrical TOS, he is exhausted, stiff, and (I'll be honest) repulsively arrogant in the films’ blockbusterness and their efforts to be dramatic. I partly attribute this to the fact that, like me, he is completely unsuited to dark hair and it turns our lives into a Nietzschean abyss, but more likely the combination of his ego and inability to realize himself played a bad joke on him, and he lost something real, really important in the pursuit of attention. But that's why the K/S interaction scenes in the films (and all the Kirk scenes that involve Spock in any way) are so surprising to me, because they're the only scenes where Shatner suddenly sheds all of his ego, arrogance, and discontent, becoming again... sweet, alive, and natural in his acting, and sincere in his absolute admiration and warm love for the one important person in Kirk's life, and it's such a contrast to his acting at other times that I'm just, I don't know, Bill, what are you doing? He just sees Spock, and bang, he becomes a completely different person. In any case, Shatner's changes and internal conflicts have their impact on the character's formation and perception in the films, but they are only part of the bigger picture.

[end of films criticism, let's move on]

"The Motion Picture", our ground zero in Kirk drift, generally sets this emphasized masculine tone in Kirk's portrayal from the very beginning, clearly departing from both his gender-ambivalence and his noir femme fatale, and becoming quite constrained even in his nature of utopian humanism. In my conversation with my sister, I joked that it was quite funny that they were trying to convince us that TOS Kirk, who had survived genocide (famine, mass murder, psychological/physical abuse, and clearly read SA) at 13, and then went through a mass massacre on a ship he served in his 20s, for which he blamed himself, had become this in a few years of paperwork. The midlife crisis had apparently erased even his traumatic experiences. I generally understand the idea they were trying to show - a real captain who is tired on solid ground and more than anything in the world wants to return to space, and even more - to his ship, the only place where he was truly happy + (this is of course not so obvious, but it's damn visible in Shatner's acting and in subsequent K/S scenes) this existing gap between him and Spock is a tangible trauma and Spock's absence in his life breaks him to pieces. But, even with this idea of growing up/(literally) returning from heaven to earth, Kirk's behavior in TMP frankly doesn't align well with his characterization in TOS.

We see several consecutive scenes of his conflict with Decker, the acting captain of the Enterprise, whom he removes from his post by order of Starfleet, and although Decker himself is a rather static character, in whose development not much effort was put, in all these scenes, he is clearly... right.

KIRK: I'm taking over the center seat, Will. DECKER: You're what? KIRK: I'm replacing you as Captain of the Enterprise. You'll stay on as Executive Officer. Temporary grade reduction to Commander. DECKER: You personally, are assuming command? KIRK: Yeah. DECKER: May I ask? Why? KIRK: My experience, five years out there dealing with unknowns like this, my familiarity with the Enterprise, this crew. DECKER: Admiral, this is an almost totally new Enterprise. You don't know her a tenth as well as I do. KIRK: That's why you're staying aboard. I'm sorry, DECKER: No, Admiral. I don't think you are, not one damn bit. I remember when you recommended me for this command. You told me how envious you were, and how much you hoped you'd find a way to get a starship command again. Well, it looks like you found a way.

KIRK: All right, explanation? Why was my phaser order countermanded? DECKER: Sir, the Enterprise redesign increases phaser power by channelling it through the main engines. When they went into anti-matter imbalance, the phasers were automatically cut off. KIRK: Then you acted properly, of course. DECKER: Thank you, sir. ...I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. KIRK: You saved the ship. DECKER: I'm aware of that, sir. KIRK: Stop ...competing with me, Decker! DECKER: Permission to speak freely, sir? KIRK: Granted. DECKER: Sir, you haven't logged a single star hour in two and a half years. That, plus your unfamiliarity with the ship's redesign, in my opinion, sir, seriously jeopardises this mission.

We are also given an emphasis on how Kirk puts pressure on his crew:

KIRK: Programming ready? DECKER: Programme set for standard warp entry, Captain, ...but I still recommend further simulation study. KIRK: Mister Decker, every minute brings that object closer to Earth! Engineering! Stand by for warp drive. SCOTT (on intercom): We need further warp simulation on the flow sensors. KIRK: Engineer, we need warp speed now! McCOY: Jim, you're pushing. Your people know their jobs.

It's not that he's never done it before, but there's a literally physically palpable difference in how and when it happened in TOS and how it happens in TMP, and how truly unjustified (apart from wanting to seem significant and controlling again) Kirk's behavior in TMP is.

He also, not particularly justified, takes a risk by allowing that weird electric thing onto the bridge, which leads to further tragic events.

KIRK: Mister Decker? DECKER: I advise caution, Captain, we can't withstand another attack. KIRK: That thing is twenty hours away from Earth. We know nothing about it yet. DECKER: That's precisely the point. We don't know it will do. Moving into that Cloud, at this time, is an unwarranted gamble. KIRK: How do you define 'unwarranted'? DECKER: You asked my opinion, sir. ... DECKER: Ilia! ...Ilia! (the probe with Ilia disappears) DECKER: This is how I define unwarranted!

In fact, this whole Kirk vs Decker situation is an obvious paraphrase of "The Doomsday Machine", where the same Kirk vs Decker conflict is played out (god, it's not even funny), but with the roles reversed. Kirk now finds himself in the role of an older, more experienced man, but it’s his self-confidence, obsession with an idea, fear of being rejected, and his apparent conflict as an authority figure against the younger and more brilliant captain (ok, it's not about TMP Decker, but you get the idea) that prevents him from being truly flexible and leads to abuse of power. Of course, TMP Kirk handles this situation better than TOS Decker (but he was also not in a state of traumatic shock after the death of his team at the time of the events).

I understand what they meant by this (ok, again), but it's such a blatant misreading of TOS Kirk as a character that I'm starting to think that even AOS Kirk at some points was read much closer to TOS Kirk (maybe not really, but even in the face of the obvious opposition between the two, AOS Kirk got his clearly existing psychological trauma/unhealthy coping patterns and (coincidentally, this was definitely not planned in the heteronormativity of the reboot) his sexual ambivalence) than Film!Kirk. Now I understand much better where this concept of the Golden Boy of Starfleet, the lucky guy who easily gets out of any situation, a kind of exemplary good young man who has had no real difficulties in life, or terrible PTSD or anything shameful, disgusting, dirty, that you want to forget, in his past, came from. The 2009 film (thank's aos) gave new life to this, clearly emphasizing the key difference between AOS/TOS Kirk - the presence of parental support (although it's not like Kirk's parents were ever actually mentioned in TOS, which makes this concept pretty meaningless in light of TOS):

KIRK: Wait. Where you came from, did I know my father? SPOCK PRIME: Yes. You often spoke of him as being your inspiration for joining Starfleet. He proudly lived to see you become Captain of the Enterprise.

And of course, there's that important line between Kirk and David in TWOK, which is obviously easy to read as "the loss of Spock has become such an all-encompassing and overwhelming grief for Kirk that nothing can compare to it" (the films unexpectedly turned out to be even more romantic than the series, which is partly exacerbated by the fact that they lose TOS in the plot and K/S becomes just the only palpably real thing on which it’s based at all), but it actually works very strangely with the TOS Kirk’s death experience, by crossing out the very existence of this:

DAVID: Lieutenant Saavik was right. You never have faced a death. KIRK: No, not like this. I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I tricked my way out of death ...and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. ...I know nothing.

I patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I honestly think about these words in the context of Kirk's words in Obsession /No man achieves Starfleet command without relying on intuition, but have I made a rational decision? Am I letting the horrors of the past distort my judgment of the present?/ and it somehow doesn't fit together at all. How can a man who has lived for over 10 years with a constant paranoid sense of guilt for the deaths of about 200 people through his own mistake consider a survival experience as cheating death and commendable ingenuity? And of course, another obvious thing that doesn't fit together is his Tarsus IV experience. Even if we imagine that somehow Kirk managed to escape a truly horrific experience and that he could’ve saved his own life through trickery and ingenuity, this absolutely contradicts his characterization in TOS. He was a child (at that borderline age when traumatic experience is particularly merciless in its memories), he saw four thousand people die, he experienced a terrible famine (which is hinted at repeatedly in TOS), violence, and experiences of violation of personal physical/psychological space (which is hinted at even more in TOS). "The Conscience of the King" is a beautiful episode in its complexity, which actually gives us enough to understand how fundamentally traumatic these events are, and how much they have influenced Kirk's increasingly (humanistic) worldview:

KIRK: What were you twenty years ago? KARIDIAN: Younger, Captain. Much younger. KIRK: So was I. But I remember. Let's see if you do. Read this into that communicator on the wall. It will be recorded and compared to a piece of Kodos' voice film we have in our files... ... KARIDIAN: (reading) The revolution is successful, but survival depends on drastic measures. Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. (stops looking at the paper) Your lives means slow death to the more valued members of the colony. Therefore I have no alternative but to sentence you to death. Your execution is so ordered. Signed, Kodos, governor of Tarsus Four. KIRK: I remember the words. I wrote them down. You said them like you knew them. You hardly glanced at the paper. KARIDIAN: I learn my parts very quickly. KIRK: Are you sure? Are you sure you didn't act this role out in front of a captive audience whom you blasted out of existence without mercy? … KARIDIAN: Or is. Kodos made a decision of life and death. Some had to die that others might live. You're a man of decision, Captain. You ought to understand that. KIRK: All I understand is that four thousand people were needlessly butchered.

It honestly surprises me how a character who was written as someone who had more than one experience of mass slaughter, which he witnessed at a young age, suddenly begins to be interpreted as someone who never really encountered death, but only trickery and ingenuity avoided it. TOS Kirk is obviously a player, an actor, a pirate, and a seductress, a person who is really capable of using all available methods to survive/to save others, but all of these actions of TOS Kirk are, and this is actually well written and consistently shown to us, the result of the fact that he has really faced death, and is very well aware of what it is. This is not empty /I don’t believe in no-win scenarios/ this is a clear awareness of what price you have to pay to survive things like genocide. A person who pays that price, who goes through something like that, will never say that they have ingeniously escaped death or that they are lucky.

This reminded me of a very stupid conversation I had with my coworker about Dostoevsky, he's obviously one of my least favorite writers, and talking about him on a special level means just ruin the day, but in this conversation we touched on the topic that Dostoevsky was supposed to be executed, but at the last moment, literally before the shooting, he was pardoned, such an inhumanly cruel experience that forever broke his psyche and affected all his subsequent work, to which my coworker just said, "Exactly, he's such a lucky guy.” I thought for a long time about what to answer him, and I realized that it wasn't like I really had the words for it. Some experiences are the exact opposite of winning a lottery ticket, and living with the memories of them can be more unbearable than death itself, sometimes the price of survival is too high, but even if you get through it, it stays with you forever, and TOS actually talks a lot about these things, but it was hardly something that was really thought about in the 80s.

Spock's death would undoubtedly be the most terrifying and personally difficult experience in TOS Kirk's life, but it wouldn't be the first. It wouldn't be that first terrifying shattering, first shock of a great loss, but it would be the last straw, that point in the chain of all these endless losses and loneliness and pain, after which there would hardly be anything else. It would read much closer to the quiet absolute doom of Yanagihara's "A Little Life" ending than to what we see in TWOK. And while this scene is particularly touching for understanding the K/S relationship, it would have had much more meaning if this confession /No, not like this/ had occurred against the backdrop of Kirk's already existing horrific death experience, the reminder of which is a constant line in TOS, rather than against the backdrop of completely erasing this experience from the plot, reducing it to a simple /I cheated death because I don't believe in no-win scenarios/ simplifying both Kirk as a character and Spock's true significance in his life.

[cuteniaarts]

Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!

Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3

(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)

Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:

[unproduciblesmackdown]

trying to say things about the bsol finale & how it has these little twists about what you don't necessarily expect for these roles but would you believe it i'm like i can't use my [just saying some shit] ability i'm pressed about wanting it to be more coherent & verbalizing doesn't even really happen if i don't have the [just saying some shit] wind in my sails But trying to say One Thing, how about the little twist like the miracle banana gets being that he himself lives, vs his emotional resolution that he would have died to help the musician, even as the musician is like no bestie you're good, even as the audience may expect & approve of even dying from funny little second banana guy who may even be supposedly taken as Superfluous now that thee man & thee woman have reunited (but it was always queerer than that) like. more resolution to our themes that that very second banana is doing just fine vs that the hero is, more classic iconisiquisms

[geddy-leesbian]

I wish I was good at anything that could actually make me money. I write decently and write a shit load, but don't write anything I can monetize. I doubt anyone would want to commission me for fic in the first place (especially since I don't like writing smut) but even if they did my ability is too at the whims of whatever my brain decides it wants to do to be able to confidently say I would write X for whatever money

I've seen that there's some RE2R/RE4R mod creators who do commissions and have patreons for paid mods and stuff, but no one is going to pay me a cent to make them a gamecube/wii RE texture edit.

there's potential with my shrinky dink jewelry but it's already stressing me tf out that I'm going to have to figure out prices and logistics.

I need to be paid for being terminally online that's all I contribute to society my stupid fandom stuff

[sapphia]

USA please listen to me: the price of “teaching them a lesson” is too high. take it from New Zealand, who voted our Labour government out in the last election because they weren’t doing exactly what we wanted and got facism instead.

Trans rights are being attacked, public transport has been defunded, tax cuts issued for the wealthy, they've mass-defunded public services, cut and attacked the disability funding model, cut benefits, diverted transport funding to roads, cut all recent public transport subsidies, cancelled massive important infrastructure projects like damns and ferries (we are three ISLANDS), fast tracked mining, oil, and other massive environmentally detrimental projects and gave the power the to approve these projects singularly to three ministers who have been wined and dined by lobbyists of the companies that have put the bids in to approve them while one of the main minister infers he will not prioritise the protection of endangered species like the archeys frog over mining projects that do massive environmental harm. They have attacked indigenous rights in an attempt to negate the Treaty of Waitangi by “redefining it”; as a backup, they are also trying to remove all mentions of the treaty from legislation starting with our Child Protection laws no longer requiring social workers to consider the importance of Maori children’s culture when placing those children; when the Waitangi Tribunal who oversees indigenous matters sought to enquire about this, the Minister for Children blocked their enquiry in a breach of comity that was condemned in a ruling — too late to do anything — by our Supreme Court. They have repealed labour protections around pay and 90 day trials, reversed our smoking ban, cancelled our EV subsidy, cancelled our water infrastructure scheme that would have given Maori iwi a say in water asset management, cancelled our biggest city’s fuel tax, made our treasury and inland revenue departments less accountable, dispensed of our Productivity Commission, begun work on charter schools and military boot camps in an obvious push towards privatisation, cancelled grants for first home buyers, reduced access to emergency housing, allowed no cause evictions, cancelled our Maori health system that would have given Maori control over their own public medical care and funding, cut funding of services like budgeting advice and food banks, cancelled the consumer advocacy council, cancelled our medicine regulations, repealed free prescriptions, deferred multiple hospital builds, failed to deliver on pre-election medical promises, reversed a gun ban created in response to the mosque shootings, brought back three strikes = life sentence policy, increased minimum wage by half the recommended amount, cancelled fair pay for disabled workers, reduced wheelchair services, reversed our oil and gas exploration ban, cancelled our climate emergency fund, cut science research funding including climate research, removed limits on killing sea lions, cut funding for the climate change commission, weakened our methane targets, cancelled Significant National Areas protections, have begun reversing our ban on live exports. Much of this was passed under urgency.

It’s been six months.

[angeltism]

doing a final project (website portfolio) for a class you've basically done fuck all in (and therefore are having a VERY hard time remembering and finding your work) is sooo fun actually.

[smoolpotaeto]

Manager Crashout

Pairing: Saja Boys x Manager!Reader

Summary: Overwhelmed with the amount of work you had to do in addition to the boys' constant chaos? Total crashout

**Doesn't exactly follow the movie timeline

[smoolpotaeto] Main Masterlist

"Abby, stop taking pictures of yourself every 5 seconds and help out in here!"

"Stop flirting and get back to work, Romance!"

"Mystery! Come back here!"

"Can you please stop complaining and just follow my instructions, Baby."

"Jinu! Stop smirking and manage your members!"

It was a nonstop chaos in the Saja Boys' studio room as the five were practicing their dance— or well, supposed to be practicing their dance. The four won't even listen to you properly, and their leader didn't even think of lending a hand to discipline them. Jinu was just there, staring at the chaos and you shouting at all of them to get back on track.

The boys had a show they were supposed to be in tomorrow after their 'debut' weeks ago at a street where they had performed their hit song Soda Pop. And you, drawn in by their energy and their undeniable good looks, applied to be the newly founded boy band's manager. Seeing that the five needed someone human to do most of the work for them and act as a "front," they didn't think much of getting you.

So now we're here—

You, an overworked manager who handles their PR, scheduling, idol actvities, as well looking for producers, lyricists, and the likes for their next new song, all the while handling the chaos that the five ensues. It was pretty much an everyday occurrence— Abby's narcissism, Romance's flirting, Mystery suddenly disappearing when curiosity gets the best of him, Baby being a literally man-baby, and Jinu relishing in the chaos.

Normally, it would be fine. While it's only been a few weeks, you've grown quite attached to them. They were nice when they wanted to, and they took good care of you despite their annoying attitude.

However, things have been real hectic lately. You didn't expect how huge the boys would get in such a short amount of time, and now they're being requested left and right in a lot of shows. Naturally, that meant receiving and sending phone calls and emails continuously. Aside from that, it also meant managing the boys' everyday schedules. To say that you were tired is an understatement— you already felt like a walking corpse at this point.

"Guys, please," You groaned, pleading, "Just practice your damn song. You'll be in front of a lot of people tomorrow, and you can't mess up unless you want to get your image thrown off." Your words fell on deaf ears, the five continuing to do their own thing.

It's been like that for the past hour or two— you weren't even sure at this point. What you were sure of, however, was that your anger was steadily rising, and you didn't know how long you can keep it at bay.

Without warning, your phone rang. Displayed on the screen was the name of one of the producers of the show for tomorrow. "Ah fuck, I completely forgot..." With a sigh, you started walking out of the room to answer the call, but not without calling to the boys first. "You guys better be doing something productive when I get back."

...

The call took longer than expected. The producer really wanted everything noted down and clean down to the smallest detail, and that usually meant a lot of reassurance and planning. "Well, time to check to see how they're doing."

The boys are not in fact, doing something productive when you got back. Instead, Abby and Baby were now running around the studio, Mystery was sleeping, Romance is now laughing at Abby and Baby, and Jinu was scrolling on his phone...?— where did get that?

"Oi! Didn't I tell you to—"

You didn't even get to finish what you were saying when Abby crashed into one of the studio lights, toppling and destroying it rendering the light useless.

The studio went into complete silence, and you stood there stunned. Did they really just destroy one of the studio lights? One that you worked so hard on to secure at a good price? One that costed a bit too much compared to other expenses? One that has not even been there for at least a week?

"What. The. HELL?!"

The four turned their heads towards you, and Mystery who was sleeping was now awake. "Do you know how much that thing costs?! How much effort I put in to find you guys nice lights to use for the studio room? Do you have any idea how tiring it has been for the previous days?!"

Sensing that they were about to get in trouble, Jinu quickly stood up from his position and walked towards you, "Hey, (Y/N), I'm sure the two didn't mean to destroy the lights. How about we—" The demon quickly shut up by the intensity of your glare.

"And you!" You pointed at Jinu. "M-me?" "No, it's the wall behind you— of course you! Who else is there, huh?!" The boy gulped at your tone, "How many times have I told you to watch over them? To discipline them? Tell them to get back on track? Make sure that they don't cause any problem?"

You were on a rant at this point. All the anger and tiredness you were trying to keep bottled up for the past days had now come undone.

"Don't you see how much I've been working and handling for you guys? I can't even sleep properly at night knowing that everything has to be perfect so that you guys can keep charting and be on shows. All I ever asked from you guys was to listen to me— get back to practice, behave yourselves, act like fucking adults, but what do I get in return? Nothing! Not even a single thank you!"

Tears were now brimming on your eyes, and while you felt embarrassed from suddenly lashing out, you didn't care at this point. You were tired, and no amount of patience can keep up with this amount of work. "(Y/N)—"

"No. Don't get started right now.... You know what? I'm done. Fuck this. I'm leaving." Without missing a beat, you placed down your Manager ID and clipboard and all related things to being their manager.

Abby was the first to recover from the shock. There was no way you were actually leaving now right?

"(Y/N), hey, wait." With a scowl and tears on your face, you faced Abby. "What?" "I know we messed up, but you can't be serious about leaving us, right?"

With a scoff, you turned on your heel. "Yeah... goodluck with finding a manager that can stand all of you."

The boys stared at the door that you just left in. "We fucked up big time didn't we?" "Yep..."

[supportgaza]

From Gaza to Ireland: Out of the Fire of War to the Fire of Soul-Crushing Survival Guilt and Fear for my Family

Note: My main account (@mahmoudkhalafff) was unfortunately terminated by Tumblr for no reason. This is my back up account. Please continue to boost my campaign. We are too close!

At times of peace, having to be away from your family for months and years is a high price you pay for obtaining an academic degree or securing a better job. Imagine while you are away, they were trapped in a besieged strip of land and thousands of missiles rained down on that besieged area of 360 km² around the clock for almost 11 months. That would crush every cell of your mind and drive you crazy, wouldn't it?!

Imagine suddenly getting addicted to watching the news and the gory videos and pictures all the freaking time. You follow relevant social media pages that only show images, videos, and stories of entire families that were wiped out in an instant in an airstrike and deemed as collateral insignificant damage. While plunging deeper and deeper into an unprecedented state of acute depression, I wondered: how come all my suffering from displacement, fear, and hunger in Gaza for 5 months during the war before being evacuated to Ireland is nothing but a drop compared to my ocean of suffering now?

The constant thinking of my family in Gaza during the genocide and all the potential scenarios is consuming my sanity and mental health at a time in my life and a place where I am required to be 199% focused and productive. To give you a glimpse of my horrible psychological suffering these days: I fear going to sleep because I know horrible horrible nightmares are waiting for me on the other side. Some have to do with the horrors of wars I witnessed in Gaza myself and others relate to the horrible potential scenarios I keep thinking about.

Seeing the images and pictures of Gaza makes you think a thousand earthquakes hit every neighborhood of the Gaza Strip! Nothing and no one has been spared. The horrific war has turned the place into a hell on earth, unfortunately. How can young people have any hope for a better future seeing the mass destruction and the relentless Israeli efforts to stifle Gaza and squeeze hope out of its people as a form of collective punishment. How monstrous and heartless!!!

Amid all this chaos and madness, my number one priority and focus is evacuating my family to Egypt as a first step and hopefully reuniting with them in Ireland at a later stage.

Please do consider helping me save my family by donating, reblogging, and sharing.

Note: Vetted by:

1. @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi # 151 on the spreadsheet of Vetted Gaza Fundraisers List]

2. @riding-with-the-wild-hunt Here .

Tagging for reach <3

@riding-with-the-wild-hunt @ibtisams @vakarians-babe @90-ghost @sayruq @fairuzfan @sar-soor @fallahifag

@el-shab-hussein @taamarrud @humanvoicebox

@plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural @commissions4aid-international @nabulsi @stil-lindigo @soon-palestine @communistchilchuck @palestinegenocide @northgazaupdates2 @northgazaupdates @ghost-and-a-half @kyra45-helping-others @kyra45 @commissions4aid-international @feluka @appsa

[pr0cyon-lotor]

AU where SJ is a horror movie director and actor. All the movies he makes aren't overly gore filled and they focus on psychological horror (and have an all female cast with very few exceptions because of course). However, all the movies he acts in have him get brutally murdered (it's in his contract).

SY is a horror movie nerd and got hooked on SJ through his acting. He loved the monsters and the creative deaths. The interviews he watched of SJ, he's enamored (in a TOTALLY PLATONIC AND PARASOCIAL WAY) with the way SJ says he's usually the one writing his own death scenes. That led him to find SJ's movies and he was even more hooked.

But SY is also an actor, but he plays love interests in cheesy romance dramas (he did it originally to beat his sister in a bet but it's not a bit anymore). He's charming and sweet with all his co-actors and even amassed his own irl harem. He wishes he could act in horror movies, but he's too well known as the kind pretty boy from the romance genre. And people will most certainly riot if his characters die, so :(

And as cheesy and sappy SY thinks his roles are, SJ is absolutely enamored as well. His guilty pleasure is watching cheesy romance dramas. He loves them in secret and wishes saintly men like SY's characters existed in real life.

Anyway, during an interview with SY, he's asked what genre he likes, and he tells them that he's actually fond of horror. They ask what type of horror and he immediately starts gushing about SJ. About his acting, his genius, his writing, his directing skills, etc. He tells the interviewer that his dream is to either work with or under SJ, but he laments that he always gets rejected for horror roles.

In the distance you here all the woman SY has enchanted wail in unison as they realize they don't have a chance because he likes men.

SJ obviously sees this and doesn't know what to do with the obvious praise. He panics as SY says he wants to work with/under him, and is struck with inspiration (he had writer's block for a long time). And he writes a script with a kind man that gets everyone to love him with a few words that is actually a siren that secretly consumes his admirers (or something IDK I'm uncreative. it doesn't matter it just has to be a monster role that is obviously made for SY)

He refines the script and starts casting. SY hears SJ is looking for roles openly, which is rare because SJ usually has closed castings. So he hurries over and auditions for the main villain, and he gets the role (to no one's surprise).

When they start the filming process, SY has basically enchanted the whole crew and they all agree that SY was the best option. And then one of the scenes where SY reveals himself as evil, and everyone had something awake in them.

The entire time SY is hoping he's doing well so SJ will like him. And in SJ's corner, he's fighting demons to stay professional. Everyone is fighting their battles while SY keeps looking at SJ after each shoot to see if he's doing a good job. But SJ keeps leaving, so obviously he's not. So he tries even harder (causing so much emotional distress in everyone that wants him desperately)

When everything wraps up, SY asks if SJ would be interested in dinner so he can pick his brain. SJ hesitates thinking SY was going to reveal that he too was two-faced like his character. But no, SY genuinely asks him so many questions and looked stary eyed when he answered. SY didn't try anything and they left with SY walking SJ to his car before going to his.

SJ drives home conflicted because apparently a prince charming does exist and he casted him as a murderer in his show/movie. And SY is happy because he thinks he did so well in getting his favorite actor/director to finally like him.

The movie/show releases and everyone also has a violent awakening and want SY in more villain roles.

SY is happy because he can finally be in horror movies. SJ is actively making scripts to just invite SY to act in them (the most productive he's been in a while). SY is over the moon when he gets an invite to act in another of SJ's scripts and puts his all in his characters. He ends up shining so much that even if he was a side character, he'd be a fan favorite.

And eventually he and SJ get invited to play in a movie. SY is excited to act with SJ (he didn't read the script before accepting the role), and SJ is so conflicted because not only does the movie have a kiss scene between their characters but SY kills him. It's like evil, toxic yaoi or something.

SY finally reads his damn script and is having a whole sexuality crisis, but he shuts up because he doesn't want to lose this opportunity (and he doesn't want to offend SJ, who is openly and maliciously gay). The director (Airplane) is doing this for the love of the game and fan service, so he makes them redo scenes over and over again until he liked a shoot.

SY locks in and tries not to think much of it. Then SJ tells him they have to practice the kiss scene because it has to look authentic (Airplane is a tyrant and demands it to be sloppy and crazy and REAL), and suddenly SY is thinking WAY too much about it. They try, SJ tells him he kisses stiff, and that he figured all his romantic main lead roles would make him a better kisser.

SY doesn't know how to say that he uses stage kisses instead of actually kissing his co-actor because he always felt uncomfortable with it, so he settles on saying something accidentally suave. Probably something like "It's different to kiss someone you admire so much".

SJ takes at least 15 points of psychic damage and tells him that they better practice for him to get used to it (excuse to kiss SY).

Then the day of the scene comes and like... I can't think of anything to end this with. Idk they get caught in the moment and have weird sex on set or something and Airplane calls it genius and takes the movie to production.

This optional if you want to write this au. I just don't have a way to end this post :3

[zvaigzdelasas]

Gum arabic, a vital ingredient used in everything from Coca-Cola to M&M’s sweets, is increasingly being trafficked from rebel-held areas of war-torn Sudan, traders and industry sources say, complicating Western companies’ efforts to insulate their supply chains from the conflict.

Sudan produces around 80 per cent of the world’s gum arabic, a natural substance harvested from acacia trees that’s used widely to mix, stabilise and thicken ingredients in mass-market products including L’Oreal lipsticks and Nestle pet food.

The paramilitary Rapid Support Forces (RSF), at war since April 2023 with Sudan’s army, seized control late last year of the main gum-harvesting regions of Kordofan and Darfur in western Sudan. Since then the raw product, which can only be marketed by Sudanese traders in return for a fee to the RSF, is making its way to Sudan’s neighbours without proper certification, according to conversations with eight producers and buyers who are directly involved in gum arabic trading or based in Sudan. The gum is also exported through informal border markets, two traders told Reuters.

Asked for comment, an RSF representative said that the militia had protected the gum arabic trade and only collected small fees.[...]

In recent months, traders in countries with lower gum arabic production than Sudan, such as Chad and Senegal, or which barely exported it before the war, like Egypt and South Sudan, have begun to offer the commodity aggressively at cheap prices and without proof that it is conflict-free, two buyers who have been approached by traders told Reuters. While the acacia trees that yield gum arabic grow across Africa’s arid Sahel region — known as the “gum belt” — Sudan has become by far the world’s biggest exporter due to its extensive groves.[...]

Before the Sudanese civil war, the raw gum would be sorted in Khartoum and then trucked to Port Sudan, on the Red Sea, to be shipped via the Suez Canal around the world. Since late last year, however, RSF-affiliated gum arabic started to appear on sale at two informal markets on the border between the Sudanese province of West Kordofan and South Sudan, according to a buyer based in an RSF-controlled area, who declined to be named due to safety concerns.

The buyer, a major trader in the West Kordofan area, said that traders collect gum from Sudanese land owners and sell them to South Sudanese traders in these markets for US dollars.

4 Mar 25

[liviawildrose]

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲

take yourself seriously. every inch of you. every dream of yours. every damn thing.

this isn’t just a pep talk; it’s a full-on life shift. if you’re not taking yourself seriously, no one else will either. i’m actually kinda irritated how us women in general don’t value ourselves enough cause bitch it’s a privilege to have a woman in your life like please, we have the power to create a life inside our bodies so best believe we also have the power to change our entire lives. it’s you versus you, babe, and it’s time to step into the main character role you’ve been putting off. here’s how you shift the vibe:

1. start by loving yourself to the fullest

every single inch of you deserves to be loved and respected by you. you want someone to love you? you want people to respect you? start by loving and respecting yourself first. how you treat yourself sets the tone for how others treat you. the mirror won’t smile unless you do. seriously like what’s stopping you from loving, cherishing and prioritising yourself? it’s your body, mind and soul ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE UTMOST CARE OF IT.

take your body seriously. work out, not because society says so, but because your body carries you through this world. strengthen it, nourish it, adore it.

do workout, stretching and yoga to strengthen your body. eat good quality food, healthy food to nourish your body and speak words of affirmation to adore that work of art aka your body. cause why the fuck not? go to a dermatologist, gynaecologist, dentist etc get your check ups done become the most hottest version of yourself. this will keep you strong and healthy ensuring a healthy and fulfilling long life while achieving your body, beauty and physical goals would be just an added benefit (the best possible benefit is your body will thank you when you’re old cause all this workout, yoga regular check ups led you to age like a fine wine without any health concerns)

take your appearance seriously. it’s not about vanity it’s about self-expression and confidence. dress like you care, because you should care. look in the mirror and know you’re that bitch.

do yourself a favour and stop following trends and start becoming more you, pro tip start wearing clothes and makeup according to your venus, rising or mid heaven to suit you better, take your skin care, body care, hair care seriously too. take your time to understand your style, your self care routine. understand your body type, face shape and get clothes that suit you, understand your skin and get skin care that suit you and your skin concerns, understand your hair type and develop a great hair care routine too. do you colour analysis and understand which colour palette suit you the best. START TAKING YOUR APPEARANCE SERIOUSLY.

do your colour analysis done for free with the help of chat gpt

understand your body shape and proportions to dress accordingly

figure out your face shape and get your haircut, eyebrows, eyelashes done accordingly (even getting the best shades or reading glasses)

understand your hair porosity and hair type (even your scalp type) and your hair issues to buy hair products accordingly

understand your skin type and issues you’re facing to buy skin care products accordingly

understand you body too, sometimes you face is oily type but body is dry (like me) so different products

experiment and see what suits you over time (another reason to start using journal, check if certain products are actually showing results if not replace) even certain workouts

2. take your goals seriously

whatever you want to achieve, treat it like your life’s purpose, because it is. no one else will believe in your dreams until you do. stop waiting for validation from the outside.

take your career seriously. what are you doing every day to move the needle forward? no more procrastinating or making excuses. schedule your time. commit to your craft.

become the best at everything you do, dedicate time to becoming better everyday single day. become addicted to getting better becoming the top 1% develop a mindset of getting better everyday single day. keep developing your crafts your passion and practice daily

take your learning seriously. every book, every lesson, every skill it’s building the future version of you. treat your studies, hobbies, and passions like they’re sacred, because they are.

one thing that i’m doing these days is taking my learning seriously, be it academic and school stuff but also watching youtube videos on manifestation and learning better my top recommendation for understanding manifestation better is this channel called nero knowledge. now the thing all of his videos are long videos surpassing 30 mins average easily but that’s one way up putting it i’m trying to get my attention i’ve lost to short term 1-2 mins content back (and you should do it too) learn new skills, cooking, baking, new language, or whatever seriously why? cause this will help you get better as a human and as a player in the game of life. no skill is a waste or not that great like someone told “cooking is not that great of a skill” but guess what it is. you can use this skill to feed yourself but also this is such a flex skill it’s a patriarchal world unfortunately and just because we as women hate it doesn’t mean the patriarchy will go away. knowing how to cook is a survival skill which is important for both the genders but for some weird reason when women do it it’s “hot” and “ domestic” so let’s just use this skill to use and throw men and society in general. similarly drawing is a skill that you can use to show off too. skills is not just about learning language or coding etc

3. curate your reality like it’s your personal museum

your life is your masterpiece. everything you consume; what you eat, what you watch, what you listen to, who you hang around is shaping your reality. be intentional about it.

• what are you watching? is it inspiring you or draining you? binge less nonsense and more content that pushes you to grow.

again, if you haven’t made your mindmovie, please make it. ask chatgpt to make you a beautiful story where you have everything you desire and read it every single day. listen to subliminals. watch long form educational content like nero knowledge. be very intentional with whatever put in your brain. i’m not even kidding. your brain will shape your reality, so be very intentional. with whatever things you say to it, movies you watch, songs you listen to. everything. also be very intentional with your friends and people you surround yourself with because they can also influence you a lot. you are the average of five people you spend your most time with so be very fucking intentional.

• what are you eating? fuel your body like you care about living long enough to see your dreams come true.

as i mentioned earlier, eat your food intentionally and eat your food. if you’re planning to lose weight, eat food accordingly, if you’re planning to gain weight, eat food accordingly. (make a meal plan and get a nutritionist too if needed) if you’re like me who wants to become a singer, stop eating ice cream and stuff that will affect your throat. eat your food like your medicine or you have to eat medicine as your food. be intentional with your food as well. don’t eat unhygienic food either eat home-cooked food. and if you’re eating outside, make sure that the food is hygienic and the ingredients are also good quality being very mindful with whatever the heck you are putting in your body my love. 

• who are you around? energy is contagious, babe. surround yourself with people who make you want to level up, not stay stagnant.

i’m not saying, cut off all your friends. but i’m saying that distance yourself at least with people who are not ready to grow. people who are way too comfortable in their own comfort zone. and people who are not ready to see anyone else grow. people who constantly put other people down. and people who try to undermine you. be friends with people who want to grow. if you are at a certain level get friends who are also at your level, but are willing to change. or get friends how are at higher level than you who can help you grow too. and is that means you have to cut ties with your old friends it’s okay

4. respect yourself enough to show up

it’s not about perfection; it’s about consistency. every single day is a new chance to prove to yourself that you’re worth the effort.

• wake up earlier. give yourself time to breathe and plan before the world starts pulling you in every direction.

half of the game is literally to show up every single day. most of us fail to do so. consistency is what matters the most. so show up every single day respect yourself. don’t disrespect yourself by showing that “oh i am just a lazy bitch.” no, you’re not. respect yourself enough to show up every single day. for example you respect your professor and that is why no matter how drained you are, you will still show up to the class or at least hand in the work on time because you know that professor have the power to deduct or increase your marks just like that in your life, the professor is all your goals and in order to please this professor (goals) you need to show up every fucking day so that the professor aka your goals, give you the results that you want 

• set boundaries. protect your peace. say no to what drains you, and hell yes to what fuels you.

respect yourself enough to set boundaries and protect your peace, no matter what. this is actually the very first step of levelling up and i have mentioned this in the first steps. have enough courage to say no to things, people and circumstances that are not aligned with who you wanna be and the goals you have. for example, if a friend asks you that or do you wanna drink? say no. especially if you’re like me, and you wanna become a singer, alcohol damage your vocal chords, and i cannot take that risk. start saying no to plans that do not align with your goals and the person you are trying to become. it’s a way of showing respect to the person you’re trying to be. again if your show respect to the person you’re tryna become or the reality your chasing you will not have it, your actions and beliefs should be in alignment with the reality you seek

• prioritize self-care like it’s non-negotiable. rest, hydrate, and treat yourself kindly.

again i’ve mentioned this earlier too in the first steps so please read that, no matter how much you train and hustle you need to give yourself enough time to recover even athletes do this after intense training, they do spend some time recovering so that they muscles and overall stamina get used to everything. if you’re only working like a robot and you refuse to give yourself time to rest, it’s not gonna work. moreover, it’s not healthy. give yourself time to rest. hydrate and do self-care. treat yourself, kindly. as i mentioned in my become your own mother blog. you have to become a mother to your own self, who says. “i want you to work hard, because you deserve a better life” but also a mother who says “you should rest and take some moment to relax because you’ve worked hard and you deserve it” it’s all about balance. even in my game of life blog, i mention fun and recreation category, because having fun and treating yourself kindly, relaxing all these things matter too. because you just can’t keep on working and not have fun and relax in your life. that’s not how i want you to live this life. i want you to hustle hard and the party even harder.

5. start dating yourself

no, seriously. treat yourself like the love of your life.

• take yourself on solo dates. dress up, and go somewhere that makes you happy.

ask yourself, when you’re in love with someone what do you do? you try to become better to get their attention (my sister aka me changed her entire music taste to get validation from this guy, yeah i know embarrassing) but seriously you take care of the way you dress, what you post on social media, your words etc. so now put that same “im obsessed with you” energy towards yourself. workout get a better physique FOR YOU, better your conversation skills FOR YOU, score good marks FOR YOU, become rich FOR YOU.

• journal your thoughts and dreams like you’re getting to know someone deeply because you are.

start journaling, shadow working etc to understand yourself better cause that’s exactly what you’d do if you’re the love of your life, understanding yourself your flaws, your dark side, your patterns, your attachment style etc why? cause you love yourself. do scrap book journaling to honour your life. paste photos of your achievements etc (i’ll make a post about my journals too) but y’all got the idea. start journaling you thoughts and feelings, you don’t need a “how was your day?” text to write about your day in your journal

• spoil yourself. don’t wait for someone else to buy you flowers or treat you to nice things. do it for yourself.

stop letting life happen to you, go live your life yourself, go audition alone, go start a business alone do things alone and be okay with that, if you do have a friend who is in this journey of growth with you together that’s great but please don’t wait for a man or a friend to start living your life be okay with doing with on your own and as well as in a group

6. heal for the little you inside

your inner child is still here, waiting for you to show her the love and care she deserved

just read become your own mother. i have explained this topic in detail. but seriously, one way to honour yourself is to honour your inner child too

7. your energy will mirror back to you

the way you treat yourself is the way the world will treat you.

• if you neglect yourself, people will neglect you.

it starts with you, babe. how you show up for yourself sets the standard for how others show up for you. if you don’t take your boundaries seriously no one else will. if you’re not putting effort in showing up for yourself no one else will, that is why one way to manifest your dream life (your dream reality) is by wearing what your alter ego (your higher self would wear) i have written about alter ego in first steps and the game of life so read it if you’re new here

• if you don’t respect yourself, people will disrespect you.

as awful it may sound, but you have to earn your respect. why do you think your professors will take you seriously? if you don’t score good marks it’s not like they will treat you like a piece of shit, but they won’t take your opinion seriously because you haven’t improved yourself enough for that yet i’m not even kidding. if you really wanna be heard, you have to do something that is remarkable. i know it’s a hard to swallow and it might feel like what the heck?. everyone should deserve respect equally. and that’s true. i agree with you. i personally would never look down on someone just because he or she haven’t done something remarkable, or they aren’t as rich or pretty. i would never do that, but that is not the same case with how society thinks if you wanna step up, you have to do things and show the world that: yes, i am capable. for that, you have to respect yourself enough to take the first step in order to achieve greatness. and then people would respect you more because the energy you’re putting will mirror back to you.

• if you don’t take your dreams seriously, no one else will.

i mean, seriously, just start taking your dreams, seriously. no one else will take your life, your dream, your looks, your income, seriously, if you don’t. it’s not like other people owe you success. you have to do that. you have to become your own knight in the shining armour. and change your life completely. because if you’re not taking your dream, seriously, why will anyone? you have to take initiative. you have put yourself up there. and get that bag. 

8. stop waiting for permission

you don’t need someone to tell you it’s okay to go after your dreams. you don’t need a cheerleader to remind you that you’re worthy. you have to affirm it to yourself, every single day: “i am capable. i am worthy. i am doing this.”

• stop hesitating. the perfect moment will never come. just start.

for example, i want to become a singer. but that doesn’t mean that i will wait for a label to notice me and change my life upside down. no, i will start making covers. i will start practising my craft, i will email managers and people in that field to notice me because it’s on me. i have to do that. i’ll have to do the research and look up for any audition. and by the time, i am gifted with a perfect moment or opportunity i will be ready to snatch that opportunity because i kept on levelling up my skills, so when the opportunity comes, i will be more than qualified for it. 

• don’t wait for external validation. be your own biggest hype squad.

there are gonna be days. no one is gonna hype you up, and you have to do that. actually, you have to do that every single day. if you wake up early and get your morning routine done give yourself a pat on the back every. single. day. tell yourself, “i’m so proud of myself.” you studied for three hours? give yourself a pat on the back. like come on, if no one else gonna appreciate you, you can! you can appreciate yourself every. single. day. and yes, every single day, i’m not exaggerating. i want you to keep on hyping yourself up every fucking day. and i’ll keep hyping you up too because i love y’all

9. get 1-2% better every day

you don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight. just focus on being a tiny bit better than you were yesterday.

• drank one more glass of water? better.

• walked an extra block? better.

• studied for an hour extra? better.

those small wins add up, babe. before you know it, you’ll look back and barely recognize the person you used to be. it’s me vs me

10. make yourself proud

this is your life. your story. your masterpiece. stop living like you’re a side character and start owning the spotlight.

• take yourself seriously because you’re worth it.

i think i have explained this quite a number of times throughout the blog. but I’ll say it again. take yourself seriously. take your thoughts seriously. take your mental health seriously. take your body seriously. take your mind seriously, your spiritual beliefs seriously, your presence seriously, your ideas seriously every single thing i mean it every single thing seriously and get rid of anything that is trying to come between you and your goals (your dream life)

• work for your inner child, your future self, and the person you’re becoming.

be intentional with everything you do, the people you hang out with if the same people have hurt you or you’re inner child get rid of them. if these people will affect your future and your future self, basically, the person you’re trying to become get rid of them. similarly, if a thing or particular circumstance is affecting you, please get rid of those things. be intentional with how you talk to yourself and the things you listen, to the videos you watch, the food you eat, the songs you listen to, all of them should align with the person you’re trying to become. start aligning yourself in the same frequency as your dream self i.e your future self by wearing clothes that she might wear, by talking and watching videos that she might watch and basically embody her habits, believes and mindset. while doing all this, keep working on your shadow self (do shadow work) and healing your inner child simultaneously. (healing is a daily practice)

• every single thing you do for yourself now is setting the foundation for the empire you’re building.

also, the same thing be intentional with whatever you’re doing. if you wanna become a millionaire, your habit should look like one. if you are trying to become a good person, a loving person, your habits should look like one. If you’re trying to become a singer, your habits should look like one. It’s all in what we do daily and our habits literally.

if you want to join me on this journey of becoming my higher self. please comment, like, reblog, and follow let's embrace the glow of together.

[nanihirunkits]

WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME??? ANOTHER MEMORIAL BOXSET 😩😭

i'm going to be so sad if gmmtv permanently replaces the dvd boxsets with memorial boxsets from now on

[sleepn0tfound]

That's MY Daughter

DC x Fem!Neglected!Batsis! Reader x Marvel [Just some midnight thoughts]

Bruce and Tim realised something odd about Stark Industries. Ever since a few months ago the technology being produced there had improved by an unbelievable amount. It was futuristic, nothing that this world has seen before. And the weirdest part of it is the fact that Tony Stark had offered to partner up with Wayne Enterprises. THE Tony Stark, Iron Man, the most egotisical man they knew had willingly offered to partner up with them? After years of being petty with Bruce and the JL?

Tim had been made to prepare to become the new CEO soon, thus he recently started taking up more work at Wayne Enterprises when the agreement was made. Though instead of Tony being the one to talk about ideas it was an unknown woman communicating with him about the ideas, the product, the marketing, etc. And the merge of the two companies was an absolute success, the marketing especially drawing in young adults. (courtesy of Tim and the mysterious women who seems to be around the same age as him)

Who was the mysterious women though? Well both Bruce and Tim could only come to one solution. The least known character to Bruce, to Batman, which says a lot considering the fact that he had made a contingency plan for every Avenger, every hero, including his own teammates, including himself, yet this one character was completely unknown, zero plans if she were to go rogue. And that drove Bruce crazy. Her file was blank. Every vital information was marked with the word 'unknown'. It had been making Bruce paranoid for years since she had appeared next to the Avengers.

The reassurance from the Avengers never helped. It was as if something was gnawing at him. After all how could he trust them anyways? (careful Bruce your trust issues are showing)

One of the only things they knew about her is that she is the main hacker/coder for the Avengers, hence the reason why the Avengers digital security was admittedly better than the Justice League's and how much faster they got, what should be, classified information. (no matter how much Bruce wants to deny it)

And her codename, Special Agent Reaper. No she wasn't originally an Avenger, she was crowned the most skilled assassin of this era, working under S.H.I.E.L.D and one of the sole reasons why all of the HYDRA agents that have sneaked into S.H.I.E.L.D have been successfully taken out, her name would pass by in the wind every so often, they might be rumours or the truth but no one truly knows. Hell even Ra's Al Ghul, The Demon’s Head, had acknowledged her once. Even Talia had admitted that Damian's fighting technique was made to mirror The Reaper's, the only difference is he used katanas while the Reaper, fittingly, uses a scythe.

But one thing was for sure. If you saw the shadow of a hooded figure you better run, though at that point it might be too late.

As the saying goes, "Beware of the Grim Reaper. Wherever it goes death follows closely behind.”

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

“Ah! Brucie! Here you are!” Tony said, wine in hand as he approached Bruce at the gala. Well that was a first. He usually never played into the Brucie persona. Well nonetheless the show must go on.

“Tony!” Bruce threw himself at the other billionaire, acting as if he was drunk, ignoring the way Tony’s expression turned into a grimace for a split second.

As usual, they were both around other pretentious socialites who never seemed to run out of questions.

“Ah! Tony, I heard Stark Industries have been bringing in more money than ever.”

“Oh yes! It’s all because of this prodigy i had found. She actually was the reason why Stark Industries and Wayne Enterprises had a collab. I might even give the company to her when I retire!" He let out a laugh that seems to emanate the word 'rich', a small smirk stayed on his lips as he heard the guests at the gala begin to whisper.

"Oh? Is that so? Then I would love to meet the person I have been working with this entire time." Tim Drake-Wayne said as he finally came out of the corner where he would usually stay in to observe rather than interact.

"Be my guest." A subtle challenge, as if Tony was daring him to go through with it as they locked eyes. A smirk on one face while a well practiced smile on the other.

Bruce let out a light hearted laugh as he tightened his grip around Tony, a subtle warning to stay away from his son, "Well then I wouldn't mind arranging a meeting! I'm sure you wouldn't mind the others joining." His tone had a slight change that even the most observant wouldn't realise.

Bruce could barely keep up the 'Brucie' act with Tony bragging about how Stark Enterprises profits have shot up with him finding a 'prodigy' and someone who will take over the company once he retires.

"Not at all. The more the merrier. I assume you wouldn't mind me inviting more people as well." Tony sipped his wine, he wasn't one to back out from a challenge, especially when he is so confident.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

This certainly wasn't how the Justice League and the Avengers expected their next meeting to happen. A petty fight between the two men that singlehandedly funds their respective teams causing all of them to be in one room together.

"Well then, Stark. Where is this prodigy that you speak so highly of?" Bruce said as he sported his famous batglare.

"I assure you she is on her way. She should just be right about done with her mission." Tony replied with the same tone, shooting a glare as well.

Meanwhile the two teams were watching this as if it was the most entertaining show they have seen.

.

.

.

"Hey I'm here." Y/n entered the hall, still wearing her assassin suit, though her signature black hood was down, revealing her face.

Silence seemed to engulf the room.

"Kid... Your hood."

"...Fuck."

hi! i might have disappeared for a month :D To those who are waiting for more parts of DC x Super/Kent!Reader it will come... eventually. I'm having the biggest writer's block for that specific AU so uhm yeah! I wasn't really planning on making that AU a series since it was mostly just me being bored and writing for the lols but since it received so much attention [thank you guys so much!] I have to do it now. i was doing some worldbuilding and already know how I want the reader to be and allat but I cant really think of how to shape the story ukukuk. so yeah stay tuned for that! also this thing was also just a blurb. Might make somewhat of continuation parts if I feel like it. [Also the neglected!batsis! fanfics I've been reading is getting to me. i have a feral urge to create a diff AU series for that] Also would you guys be interested in me creating a twitter/insta account or like a tele channel to post random things