#and possibly failing miserably
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thinking about whumpee who just wants to engage in freaky funtime. they've gone through the horrors and they never want to go through them ever again- but being afraid is so very fun and they're badgering caretaker for it endlessly. but whenever caretaker demonstrates any willingness, whumpee immediately goes "but it'd just be play, right? it'd be pretend?" making caretaker think that maybe it's just not a good idea. whumpee just seems so anxious. it's like they love the idea of it, but any talk of execution makes them recoil.
still, they eventually work out an arrangement. whumpee is jittery as ever, testing out the safeword a thousand times to see whether caretaker would really stop. they say it before and after caretaker is finished tying them to the chair, they ask "but it's all pretend, yeah? you're not mean for real? it's all bluffs?" another hundred times, then they follow it up with "no, i do want this, i do, i just wanna make sure it's not too scary, or real"
and then caretaker gets into the rhythm, and whumpee is immediately captivated. all that nervous energy that should absolutely be there during play like this just vanishes almost without a trace. whumpee looks the calmest they've looked in a long while, and caretaker can barely believe that someone can be this calm watching them play with a knife and throw out threats
#im trying to convey a very specific mental image here#and possibly failing miserably#i see it so clearly#i feel like a fortune teller staring into a plane of existence no one else can see#while being blind to the real world and just flailing and trying to explain what i see#but everything comes out in vague cryptic messages and riddles#maybe thats why they talk like that#its just hard to convey stuff#whump#whump prompt
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Role-reversal AU where Machete opens a library on Florence and slowly becomes a very influencial local political figure, while Vasco's parents become fed-up with his "lifestyle" and send him away to the clergy (he probably has a brother in this AU, to make their decision more believable)
They reconnect in a similar way to the original, but their relationship is much more tragic as Vasco became self-hating and thinks he corrupted/doomed Machete in their youth and meanwhile, this Machete is trying to protect him from the corrupted side of the Church and possible assassination plot, that he's too indoctrinated to see happening around him
A interesting ending for this AU should be that Machete still dies, but results in Vasco finally running away from the clergy/inquisition (not sure if Vasco joins the inquisition or not, you can decide) and hiding in the country-side. Where he grows old dedicating various paintings and poems to Machete and possibly taking care of some noble's horses for a living
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#that's interesting#Machete could potentially really shine in politics I can see that being a thing#but Vasco would most likely have miserable time in the clergy#the pressure and guilt and expectations would break his spirit#even if he doesn't always get along with his parents his family relatives and social bonds mean a lot to him#he wouldn't take it well if he felt like he had failed his parents#and was subsequently pushed into a profession that forbids personal relationships#Machete would have hard time watching him and comparing the young jovial Vasco he used to know to his current dejected state#but in this situation it might be more possible for them to escape together#Machete can't leave the church because he's been indoctrinated from early childhood and has never had any life outside of it#Vasco's relationship with religion is a lot less intense he might be able to detach mostly in one piece#and look after horses for the rest of his days#answered#anonymous#Vaschete scenarios#Machete the librarian#he'd love that
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the team holding hands 😭
#aegon ii targaryen#grand maester orwyle#house of the dragon#'you’re a good man orwyle'#still has me crying#ok but real talk why couldn’t they shave his head completely#i know they’re trying to make him as ugly as possible (since day 1) and fail miserably#but whooo would keep like half their hair#then again he could look wild it just would need a proper haircut#😂 ok bye
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Nothing will ever rewire my brain like c!Schlatt screaming "Make it hurt!" at c!Tubbo's execution
#+ c!Techno saying hed try and make it as painless as possible (though he failed miserably)#like. how long did cschlatt know. do you think he was nicer to ctubbo in the days leading up to the festival to make it hurt him more#''make it hurt'' from someone who cared about next to nothing. means everything.#like. which is worse for ctubbo. cDrm seeing him as nothing but an object to use to get ctommy to comply?#or cSchlatt wanting to make him hurt! wanting to watch him suffer! eanting to see him yell for help while no one saves him!#and the thing is i dont think cSchlatt ever really wanted that!!!!!! he wanted to make the execution hurt like cTub's betrayal hurt him!!#the way BOTH cSchlatt and cDrm treat him is bc hes so ride or die for Tommy. everything all the time with cTub comes right back to cTommy.#doodle.txt
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I will make that cake btw, probably next week on Wednesday or Friday so I actually have time lmao
#i shall take pictures of my progress#so y’all can watch me fail miserably 👍👍👍#cable’s txts#milestone cake#i should figure out what to write on it. it needs to be as stupid as possible.#any suggestions are welcome
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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#toh#the owl house#little miss perfect#polls#drabble post#I WAS ADOPTED WHEN I WAS TWO#MY PARENTS SPOILED ME ROTTEN OFTEN#I ASK MYSELF WHAT DID I DO#TO GET AS FAR AS IVE GOTTEN#A PRETTY GIRL WALKS BY MY LOCKER#MY HEART GIVES A FLUTTER BUT I DONT DARE UTTER A WORD#CAUSE THAT WOULD BE ABSURD BEHAVIOR FOR LITTLE MISS PERFECT#my sincerest apologies to everyone getting flashbanged on their dash with this blast from the past#but in my defense i dont have impulse control. and also i was encouraged by friends#im making this last a week so it can hit everyone possible or fail miserably#either way it will be funny but also no one look at me
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Ducktales 2017 ran so all Disney reboots could fall flat on their faces.
#How is it possible to make such an perfect reboot and then miserably fail every other try ever#Ducktales#Dt17#Ducktales 2017#ducktales reboot
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Sometimes Les Mis being a musical is really funny to me because it leads to these really weird scenes that only make sense in a musical. My favorite of these has got to be near the end of Who Am I when Valjean gets to the trial. Of course Javert has to be there so there doesn’t have to be a separate scene of a messenger telling him about Valjean. But that means that he’s literally just there to observe. He can’t do ANYTHING. While Valjean is singing the really long note at the end of the song, Javert just has to politely wait until the singing is done. Even then, when Valjean runs off, Javert can’t immediately chase after him because then how would Valjean get to Fantine’s death scene with so much time to spare. It’s so silly.
#in-universe explanation: Javert’s brain stopped working for a minute like in the book#“He was stupefied; thought and speech alike failed him; the sum of possible astonishment had been surpassed.”#les mis#les miserables#musicals
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Young Masriel au [part 6: the green-eyed monster]: in which Marisa gets jealous over Asriel meeting with certain witches in the North and tries to make him look bad in front of her husband. Unfortunately, and to Marisa's surprise, Asriel has been paying attention and likes to play this game as much as she does. He should've anticipated she'd be angry about this. Completely hypocritical of course, since she's the one that's married here. First she couldn't get rid of him fast enough, and now she's acting as if he put her through the worst betrayal imaginable. If she wants to play dirty though, he's more than willing to participate. He's been watching her when she thinks no one is looking. Her daemon straying uncomfortably far from her at times, testing his boundaries. If there are any, that is. she never even flinches. Anyone else would be appalled by the very idea, but he's just fascinated by the science of it. The Northern witches, their magical abilities and way of life have always intrigued him. Marisa seems to be less impressed. Asriel would be lying if he said he doesn't enjoy the look on her face when she realises he knows about her little secret.
(part 1/ part 2/ part 3/ part 4/ part 5)
#his dark materials#hdm#hdm au#masriel#asriel belacqua#marisa coulter#asriel x marisa#masriel au#young masriel#gif fic#okay so I've always wondered when and how Asriel found out that Marisa can seperate from her daemon and how that conversation went down#like no one ever acknowledged this in the show except for Lyra in s1 and then it was never mentioned again#or maybe I just missed it#also when and how did asriel tell marisa about him and Ruta like i need more info Pullman#This au is some kind of mix of both#I'm aware its not that clear#juuust go with it okay#my edit#hdm edit#im trying to make these as short as possible and failing miserably#young masriel au#part 6
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"DEAD GAY SON" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)
Now, you're seeing the word "Dead" for the third time in my adapted songs. Am I obsessed with death? No, JD is, that's why it's there. I should also say I don't really like how this one came out, but I had to give you something in theme with pride month, even though this song isn't exactly the best (and I'm sorry for that but I would've had to adapt this song eventually and idk how but many people seem to find this song funny on YouTube so here you are). I should specify I could do way better with other songs and that I dislike how this one came out but it's very close to the original meaning (IMO) so here you have it, "Dead Gay Son". I'm also sorry for keeping the slur, but it was in the original song and adapting songs is (at least for me) keeping them as close as possible to the original meaning while keeping them singable. Also I fucked up the syllables and rhymes so bad
ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)
(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)
[PAPÀ DI RAM, parlato] Aspetta solo un minuto, Paul! È parlare in modo ignorante e odioso come fai tu che rende questo un posto che i nostri ragazzi non sopportavano!
(cantato) Non erano sconci! Non era una svistina! Eran due versi solitari Nella grande canzone divina!
[PAPÀ DI KURT, parlato] I nostri figli erano finocchi, Bill!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Sì! Mio figli'è un omosessuale E di questo non mi vergognerei— Voglio che il mondo sappia... Amo il mio morto figlio gay!
(parlato) Sono stato a pensare. Pregare. Leggere un po' di riviste. Ed è tempo di aprire le nostre menti!
(cantato) Beh, il buon Dio l'universo ha fatto Dio ha creato l'umanità E penso che sia parte del suo piano nella sua immensità So che Dio ha una ragione Per ogni oceano ed ogni goccia E perché ha deciso di lasciar i ragazzi farsi nella doccia! Non erano sconci— Non erano animali! Eran due lacci isolati nei divini stivali! Non m'è mai'mportato tanto di gay ma ora me ne interesserei
[PAPÀ DI RAM & CONGREGAZIONE] E ora ho imparato ad amare…
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Amo il mio morto figlio gay!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Ama suo figlio Ama suo figlio Il suo morto gay figlio!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Ora, dico che mio figli'è in Paradiso! E che s'abbronza in piscina Il cherubino cammina con loro e, Gesù dice ch'è 'na cosa carina! Non hanno crimini o odio, non ci sono bigottismo o'nsulti - Solo persone amichevoli vestite come i loro compaesani preferiti! Non erano sconci—
[CONGREGAZIONE] No, no!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Si sentivano rimossi!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Whoa!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Nei lunghi capelli di Dio eran due elastici rossi Prima quando vedevo un gay avrei detto "Gli sparerei"
[PAPÀ DI RAM & CONGREGAZIONE] Ma ora ho imparato ad amare…
[PAPÀ DI RAM] E per di più! Quei due, eran coraggiosissimi! Quei due, ne erano coscientissimi! Quelli li avrebbero giudicati, eran disperati d'esser liberi! Si son comportati da ribelli, nudi quasi ai gioielli! Paul, non posso credere Che continui a rifiutar di capire Quest'è quel che eravam destinat'a fare—
(parlato) Parlo di me e te! Nell'estate dell'83!
[PAPÀ DI KURT, parlato] Quello è stato un viaggio particolare
[CONGREGAZIONE] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa! Non erano sconci— No! E non solo una percossa— No, no! Erano dello strass Sulla divina borsa!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Il nostro lavoro è di fare quel che da tempo pensavo: "Lo farei"!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Perché ora amiamo, amiamo, amiamo Amiamo i vostri—
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Sono sù là al battito delle ali angeliche a ballar!
[PAPÀ DI KURT] Un compagno prendono…
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Verso l'un l'altro si tendono—
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Mentre Judy Garland sta a cantar!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Vivono una seconda vita spensierata e spericolata!
[PAPÀ DI KURT] Si dondolan sul cancello incastonato—
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ & CONGREGAZIONE] E hanno una collana incastonata!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Whoo!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Non erano sconci!
[CONGREGAZIONE] No!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ & CONGREGAZIONE] Eran bravi uomini! E ora son felici cuccioli nella tana dei divini!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Andate avanti e amatevi ora Come avrebbe fatto mio figlio Insegneremo al mond'ad amar...
[CONGREGAZIONE] Al mond'ad amar...
[TUTTI] Al mond'ad amar...
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ sovrapponendosi con la congregazione] Amo il mio morto gay figlio! Mio figlio! Mio figlio!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Non tanto male, il tuo morto figlio gay! Vorrei aver il tuo morto figlio gay! Grazie, papà, per il tuo...
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ & CONGREGAZIONE] Morto! Figlio! Gay!
So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)
[RAM'S DAD, spoken] You wait just a minute, Paul! It is this ignorant, hateful way of talking like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not tolerate!
(sung) They were not dirty(but as in filthy/indecent)! It (I mean as in their "love" but can't find a way to specify it) wasn't a small oversight! They were two lonely verses In the great divine(/heavenly? I don't really know how to translate that but it's as in God's/Heaven's) song!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] Our sons were pansies, Bill!
[RAM'S DAD] Yes! My son's a homosexual And of that I wouldn't be ashamed (for the rhyme)— I want the world to know... I love my dead gay(those two got inverted [gay and son])son!
(spoken) I've remained to think. To pray. To read some magazines. And it's time we opened our minds!
(sung) Well, the good Lord made the universe The Lord created humanity And I believe it's all a part of his plan in its immensity I know God has a reason For each ocean and drop And why he chose to let our boys do each other in the shower! They were not dirty(/filthy/indecent)— They were not animals (it fit for the rhyme)! They were just two stray laces in the divine(/Heaven's/the Lord's) big boots Well, I never cared for homos much but now I would be interested [RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] And now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] I love my dead gay(inverted in this part [son and gay])son!
[CONGREGATION] He loves his son He loves his son His dead gay son!
[RAM'S DAD] Now, I say my boy's in Heaven! And he's tanning by the pool The cherubim walks with them, and Jesus says it's cute! They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or insults - Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite fellow village Person! They were not dirty(filthy/indecent)—
[CONGREGATION] No, no!
[RAM’S DAD] They felt removed (for the rhyme)!
[CONGREGATION] Whoa!
[RAM’S DAD] They were two bright red rubberbands in God's long hair Before(,) when I saw a homo(/gay) I would've said "I'd shoot him" [RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] But now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] And furthermore! These boys were very brave! These boys , they were very conscient of it! Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free! They behaved like rebels, stripped almost to their jewels(/balls/testicles)! Paul, I can't believe That you keep on refusing to understand This is what we were meant to be doing—
(spoken) I'm talkin’ you and me! In the summer of '83!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] That was one particular trip
[CONGREGATION] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa! They were not dirty(/filthy/indecent)— No! And not only a hit (because they were bullies and hit people and that's what they were recognised from? Would that make sense?)— No, no! (Damn ok thanks for the confirmation) They were rhinestones On the divine(/Heaven's/God's) purse!
[BOTH DADS] Our job is now doing what for long I thought: "I'd do this"! [CONGREGATION] 'Cause now we love, love, love! We love your dead—
[RAM’S DAD] They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!
[KURT’S DAD] They grab a mate…
[RAM’S DAD] And lean(more like tend/stretch) toward each other—
[BOTH DADS] While Judy Garland is singing!
[RAM’S DAD] They live a second life that's fancy-free and reckless!
[KURT'S DAD] They swing upon the gates with gemstones set inside them—
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] And wear a necklace with gemstones set inside it!
[CONGREGATION] Whoo!
[BOTH DADS] They were not dirty(/filthy/indecent)!
[CONGREGATION] No!
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] They were good men! And now they're happy cubs in the Gods' (yup the apostrophe placing is intentional and not a mistake, that's what I mean, I'm hinting at the trinity) den!
[BOTH DADS] Go forth and love each other now Like my boy would have done We'll teach the world to love...
[CONGREGATION] The world to love...
[ALL] The world to love...
[BOTH DADS overlapping with congregation] I love my dead gay son! My son! My son!
[CONGREGATION] Not half bad, your dead gay son! Wish I had your dead gay son! Thank you, dad, for your...
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] Dead! Gay! Son! OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):
[RAM'S DAD, spoken] You wait just a minute, Paul! It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not live in!
(sung) They were not dirty! They were not wrong! They were two lonely verses In the Lord's great song!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] Our boys were pansies, Bill!
[RAM'S DAD] Yes! My boy's a homosexual And that don't scare me none— I want the world to know... I love my dead gay son!
(spoken) I've been thinking. Praying. Reading some magazines. And it's time we opened our eyes!
(sung) Well, the good Lord made the universe The Lord created man And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan I know God has a reason For each mountain and each flower And why he chose to let our boys get busy in the shower! They were not dirty— They were not fruits! They were just two stray laces in the Lord's big boots Well, I never cared for homos much until I reared me one
[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] But now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] I love my dead gay son!
[CONGREGATION] He loves his son He loves his son His dead gay son!
[RAM'S DAD] Now, I say my boy's in heaven! And he's tanning by the pool The cherubim walk with him and him, and Jesus says it's cool! They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin' - Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite Village Person! They were not dirty—
[CONGREGATION] No, no!
[RAM’S DAD] They just had flair!
[CONGREGATION] Whoa!
[RAM’S DAD] They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun
[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] But now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] And furthermore! These boys were brave as hell! These boys , they knew damn well! Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free! They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants! Paul, I can't believe that you Still refuse to get a clue After all that we been through—
(spoken) I'm talkin’ you and me! In the summer of '83!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] That was one hell of a fishing trip
[CONGREGATION] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa! They were not dirty— No! And not perverse— No, no! They were just two stray rhinestones On the Lord's big purse!
[BOTH DADS] Our job is now continuing the work that they begun!
[CONGREGATION] 'Cause now we love, love, love! We love your dead—
[RAM’S DAD] They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!
[KURT’S DAD] They grab a mate…
[RAM’S DAD] And roller skate—
[BOTH DADS] While Judy Garland sings!
[RAM’S DAD] They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!
[KURT'S DAD] They swing upon the pearly gates—
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] And wear a pearly necklace!
[CONGREGATION] Whoo!
[BOTH DADS] They were not dirty!
[CONGREGATION] No!
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] They were good men! And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!
[BOTH DADS] Go forth and love each other now Like our boys would have done We'll teach the world to love...
[CONGREGATION] The world to love...
[ALL] The world to love...
[BOTH DADS overlapping with congregation] I love my dead gay son! My son! My son!
[CONGREGATION] Not half bad, your dead gay son! Wish I had your dead gay son! Thank you, dad, for your...
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] Dead! Gay! Son! THE ONE I NOW COMPARE IT TO (29/5/24)
#heathers#heathers the musical#heathers 1989#paul kelly#bill sweeney#or however kurt and ram's dads are called#song adaptation#i'm sorry#in italiano#heathers fans my creativity has died I don't know what to tell you anymore#italian-speaking heathers fans look at the previous tag#i don't like this#i don't like it#except for one line/verse or two#non è ufficiale lol non so se hanno mai fatto la traduzione ufficiale o anche la traduzione#i tried to keep as many rhymes as possible#and failed miserably#some syllables got fucked up (not in a dead girl walking way but in an “i am damaged” way [tried my best])#and once again failed miserably#this machine runs on coffee adapts “heathers: the musical” songs in italian#dead gay son#also y'all remember you're gonna get another song at 9am (hour in France) or around that hour but later#though if you check tumblr at (hour in France) 10 you'll see it for sure#this one was made for pride month but i'm not proud of it#i would've eventually had to do it but still#i hate how it came out#the other one was the one that should've come out because yes I wanted it to come out#but yeah you guys still get this one because yes#it's not like it would've been better even if i'd done it another day later on
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ok so this isnt exactly my usual brand of art but like. SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES: I MADE A DRESS myself. from scratch. behold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was wild bcs i got GRIPPED by insanity for like a week n would not stop working on this thing. ive never sewed clothes before. i do believe i may have been possessed, big huge thanks to my bestiest bestie @blu3mila for being the photographer 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
#kunst huli#anywaysssss at first i tried looking for patterns online bcs i was like#ive never done this before i cannot possibly do it by myself ill make so many mistakes ill just look up instructions#found one vid which explained everything very nicely. did the measurements did the fucking#paper template#used a fabric no one would miss to try it out#failed miserably#re-measured everything#re-did the paper pattern#used fabric no one would miss to try it out again#FAILED MISERABLY ALSO#went to sleep sad#but as i was falling asleep of course i cant just like. stop#so i was like OMG I CAN. DO IT MYSELF#this dress is basically.#4 triangles. two rectangles. one trapezoid#it took a lot of Trying On and pinning n saying hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#and praying to fuck knows who before using the sewing machine#but i did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#n it even looks good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i wanted to do it in red at first bcs um. the initial inspiration came to me because of#noel. also of course rodya dearest#but yeah anyway i wanted to dress in a noel inspired outfit for a thing#but i couldnt. find anything fitting to wear#n u know. clothes can be expensive#and our local fabrics store always has 70% off of fabrics...................#but i COULDNT. FIND THE MATERIAL I NEEDED. IN THE RIGHT COLOR#and at that point it was either i do it with what i have or the fixation runs out#also the lipstick is actually an eyeliner pencil. improvise adapt overcome etc#also if u see that the shoes are a bit too big for me no you didnt. its hard to find stuff in my size ok
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gruxime makes me a little insaneeeee esp from maximes perspective cus its like. damn. a hell of my own creation.
#like even outside of shipping or w/e if maxime hadnt embarrassed gru at homecoming they cld have been friends. more even#meeeee when im miserably unhappy in my group of friends trying to live up to something i can never be#instead of being myself w ppl who get it#it does make me smile that they seem to be on good terms at the end of 4 and makes me think that like. maybe gru never rllyyyy hated him..?#like to maxime it was world ending catastrophe but gru likes destroying ppls will to live for fun even as a kid#autism to autism communication… FAILED.#undecided on if gru wld have liked maxime back or not. at least in canon#ummmm. i think it cld be possible. but in a weird confused rivarly kinda way#like maxime is so bad at giving mixed signals that gru genuinely cant tell if he likes him or wants him dead for ages#like when ppl go ‘oooh hes just being mean cus he likes u’ but like. genuinely#um kind of a tangent but my thoughts for gru at lpb is that he mostly keeps to himself and doesnt rlly have any friends#but he dgaf (effect of literally never having had anyone close to him b4)#in comparison to maxime who is all abt cliques and surrounded by ppl …. but still alone 😔💔#i do think some of maximes friends wld be actually nice tho. like in the same position as him#everybodys just trying to fit in. u know#anyways i think gru wld spend 99% of his time either alone or chilling w the minions#but its just nicer for him to mostly be left alone instead of bullied by like. the whole school#btwwwww interesting that when maxime mocks him at the reunion 1. everyone laughs and 2. gru looks surprised that everyone laughs#like hm damn maybe having crazy popularity and connections pays off. Damn.#he doesnt seem to be bullied while actually at the school as ppl cheer for him at the show#i think this is maybe a byproduct of gru being considered a failed villain in the current day#HEY BTW i thought it was a littleeee strange that gru being an avl agent isnt like. common knowledge among villains. seems like big news#that wld have leaked somehow. but idk maybe he got lucky or the avl covered it up#but damn after the reunion they DEFINIETLY all know. cld be an interesting setup to dm5 [blinks cutely]#lol. anyways. my thoughts
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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Having a bunch of Koyama thoughts, particularly about the early part of his and the other Scars' redemption arcs following the disbanding of their division. As fun as it would be to write a fic about it I definitely don't have the time to do so, so! Text post it is.
When I was first watching S2, seeing Koyama among the group of former Scars who were trying to put their lives back together definitely surprised me a little. "The Scars did shitty things" is a given, but when it comes to Koyama I feel like his wrongdoings are more...personal to a lot of the audience, if that makes sense. His fight with Mob--if you could even call it that--had this drawn out, visceral brutality to it that I don't think any of the Scars replicated, except maybe Muto. If Koyama got his ass kicked during the end of S1 and went poof along with said Chin Man and Miyagawa, I wouldn't have been surprised.
Don't get me wrong, I love where his arc ended up, and I think the Scars' stories fall in well with the messages the show was trying to convey. That change in him feels like a big leap to make, though, so it's been fun to try to fill in the gap. I'd imagine that transition period after the fall of the 7th division must've been...pretty messy(gonna ramble more about this under the cut)
The blanket explanation the Scars gave was how being beaten by a bunch of kids snapped them out of their flawed way of viewing the world, which makes sense—for the majority of them, anyway. But Koyama wasn’t around for the Great Reigen Roast of 2012–you could say the same for Terada, Takeuchi and Tsuchiya as well, but while all the Scars have been characterized with a certain immaturity towards society and the like, Koyama’s blaring faults directly clash against any kind of progression.
He’s the school bully that gets in trouble and only resolves to get revenge, that one little kid who’d refuse to ‘lose’ when playing make believe by coming up with all sorts of excuses. Judging by the way he’d lash out at any sign of his strength being questioned…I don’t think his pride would’ve let him have that swift moment of clarity like the others(even after being turned into a human ping pong ball by a middle schooler). Far from it as you could go, in fact—that humiliation would only make him double down. Not that the other Scars aren't drastically affected by the whole thing, of course, but Koyama…Koyama’s a prime candidate for making his frustration everyone else’s problem.
Hell I could even see him getting it into his dumbass head that he could find a place in Claw again if he just took down the ones that put an end to the 7th division. His fellow Scars who failed—well they just didn’t have the grit to fight their way past this setback, lost their teeth, but not him. He thinks he could succeed where they failed, and rise back to the top. Shallow as hell plan, painfully desperate, but it’s all he has now. I’m sure that would go sooooo well for him, especially when the rest of the Scars find out what he’s up to while they’ve been trying to fix their lives. Lmao.
#i just think he should try to put his life back together in the worst possible way and fail miserably to noones surprise#i think it would be fun! for me.#mob psycho 100#koyama megumu#koyama#casper chatter#long post/#scarposting
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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