#and part of me would love to work with a less anxious dog

[yelenaslyubov]

Autumn in New York

main masterlist || kate bishop || autumn fic list

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ pairing: kate bishop x reader

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ warnings: mentions of depression, lots of flufffff

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ description: kate has been noticing a change in your mood. in order to help cheer you up, she takes you out on a date day to explore New York in all of its beauty

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ word count: 1.9k

Between the sun setting earlier in the evening and the cold fronts coming in quick, your seasonal depression was taking over. Though summer could be a little too hot for you at times, you found your mood to be changing with each passing day.

Your bed started to become your best friend and Lucky felt your pain, as he looked to have gained a pound or two. It didn’t help that he always joined you in your activities, even if they consisted of eating your favorite treats while watching ‘New Girl’ in the dark.

To top it all off, your job made it all too easy to stay home. While most days you taxied to work in person, you have been taking advantage of the fact you have the option to work from home. Lately, there has been a lot more home and a lot less work.

It was just another day and you heard the door downstairs open and close, indicating that Kate was home. You were asleep when she had left, so you were not sure exactly when she had left. Since Kate was in the process of moving up in Bishop Security, she was gone at odd hours of the day. You could consider it being on call.

“Babe, I’m home!” Kate yelled through the house.

You always felt guilty for going through spells of depression, even though you knew you couldn’t help it. It didn’t take away from the fact that you felt useless and lazy, especially when you could see how hard Kate was working.

“There you are,” Kate said, acting surprised as if you hadn’t been in bed for three days. “You’re up early.”

“Am I?” you questioned. You hadn’t even thought to look at the clock.

“It’s about eight in the morning, the day is still young,” she smiled. “Speaking of…”

Kate trailed off a bit and you could tell in her voice that she was about to suggest something that you may love or hate. Most ideas lately you resented the thought of.

“When I was coming home, I was thinking that it would be nice to have a little date day?” Kate suggested lightly, knowing that it could be a long shot. “I know things have been a little bit tough lately and I want to treat you.”

She waited for your response, whether that was verbal or physical. You weren’t turned off by the idea, but nothing sounded better than staying home.

“Please?” Kate said with a pouty face.

“Are you begging now?” you asked.

“Maybe,” Kate giggled. She came over and sat on your side of the bed, looking at you closer now. That’s when the puppy dog eyes began.

“Now that’s not fair,” you whined. “You know how I feel when you do that.”

“That’s exactly why I’m doing it,” Kate smiled.

She stared longer and longer until you said “yes,” with a reluctant groan.

“That’s what I like to hear!” Seeing the excitement on Kate’s face made it worth it for you. You could tell your sadness had affected her too, whether or not she would admit it.

“What are we going to do?”

“That’s the best part, it’s a surprise,” Kate grinned from behind the closet door that she rushed to in order to find clothes for you. “It’s chilly today so you need to wear your nice coat.”

You groaned and flopped down on the bed. “But I hate that coat, it makes me all itchy.”

“I know honey, but it’s the only way you will stay warm, I promise. And that’s coming from me.” Kate was never one to wear thick clothing or layers, usually one coat would suffice.

Kate laid everything out nicely for you and helped you get ready as fast as you could. She was anxious for the both of you to leave the house and spend the day together, something that rarely happened.

Once you were carefully bundled, Kate practically dragged you and Lucky both out of the apartment and into the bustling city.

“Okay, first things first, we need caffeine,” Kate declared.

You already knew where she was taking you because you always went to the same coffee shop close to the apartment. It was also the place that you and Kate had your first date, making it special each time you went.

“You wanna hold onto Lucky and I can go in and order for us?” Kate asked and you agreed.

You didn’t want to admit it yet, but being outside felt amazing. With each passing minute there was a part of you that felt rejuvenated. The temperature was perfect for you, making it cozy but not unbearable. The chilly wind pierced your skin and gave you the wake up call you had been begging for.

After a few minutes, Kate came back out to join you. “Your usual, dear.” She handed you the warm cup and you shivered. The warmth from your drink gave you even more motivation to enjoy the day together.

You walked several blocks with Kate leading the way before you dared to ask where you were going. “So, where are you taking me?”

“I see what you’re trying to do,” she said. “I’m not telling you, but nice try.”

You groaned and walked on. The farther you walked down the street the more crowded it became with both people and dogs. Up ahead, you could now see groups of people blocking the road and you assumed you were headed that way as well.

Kate took your hand now, comforting you as you both moved through the sea of people. When you made it towards the front, you could see now what Kate was taking you to see.

“Is this the Halloween Dog Parade?” you asked excitedly.

“Are you surprised?!” Kate said with glee.

“Are you kidding me? Of course I am!”

The annual dog parade was an event you always wanted to attend each year, but something always got in the way. This year, you hadn’t even given it a thought, but your girlfriend remembered. She always remembered.

You watched as dogs of all kinds walked down the street dressed in everything from food to movie characters. Your personal favorite was the little dog dressed as Bob from ‘Beetlejuice.’

As the parade wrapped up, you couldn’t keep the smile off your face. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this happy. Whether it was the energy in the city, the autumn feeling, or the sheer fact you were finally spending quality time with your girlfriend, there was no stopping your light from shining.

“Onto the next adventure,” Kate said. She grabbed your hand once again and pulled you in another direction.

“You should have warned me we would be doing this much walking, or else maybe I would have worn different shoes,” you said uncomfortably while moving your feet around in your shoes.

“I’m sorry, babe.” Kate genuinely seemed upset, which made you feel bad for ever complaining in the first place. “We can go back and you can grab some different shoes?”

“I’m afraid if we go back we may not leave again,” you laughed. “Let’s keep going!”

The look on your face was enough to make Kate’s life. She was so grateful for your happiness that she hadn’t seen for several weeks. You walked several more blocks until you had reached Central Park.

“It’s so beautiful,” you sighed.

Taking a break from the concrete buildings seemed to be all the medicine you needed. You looked into the park and saw a flood or orange and red leafed trees. You had spent so much time looking down that you were reminded to finally look up.

There were families running through the grass and dogs playing happily through the leaves. In addition, the amount of food vendors made your stomach growl, not realizing how hungry you were.

Kate looked at you after the noise from your stomach caught her off guard. “I guess that’s a sign it’s time to eat,” Kate laughed. “My vote is a good old fashioned New York hot dog.”

“I raise you a soft pretzel and cheese,” you rebutted with a smiling scowl.

“Hmm,” Kate thought. “You have a deal!”

You laughed and wrapped your arms around her waist while she placed her arm around your shoulders. You walked together through the park until you made it to the pretzel stand. You each got your own to snack on while you strolled through the park.

You switched from holding hands, linking arms, and holding each other while you walked. You weren’t always someone who enjoyed PDA, but you were proud to be with Kate Bishop.

There were so many beautiful things. From the way the wind ran through the leaves to make them fall delicately on the ground to form piles for the children to play in, to the view on your left of Kate guiding you through the park on the most perfect day.

You hadn’t realized how much you needed this day until you were living it. Kate knew your heart inside and out.

Once you had walked as much of the park you could, you made it back to where you started.

“I have just one more place to take you and then we will be done,” Kate instructed you.

At this point, you would follow her anywhere. She made you forget that your feet were even hurting in the first place.

After walking several blocks you stopped in front of ‘The Strand,’ your favorite book store. You could spend hours walking along the aisles of books that were waiting for you to open their pages.

“Ta-da!” Kate said. “Now, I want you to pick out whatever your heart desires. It’s on me.”

“Kate, I can’t-”

“You can, and you will.”

You knew Kate was in the position to do so, but that did not make you feel any less guilty. “Whatever you say,” you smiled, unable to contain your excitement. “Wait, but what about Lucky?”

“Don’t worry, he and I will slum it out here next to the heat lamps, we’ll be alright,” Kate replied. “But that also means you can’t take five years.”

“Well, that might be hard but I’ll try my best,” you said sarcastically.

“Uh huh, bye now,” Kate waved you off with a smile.

You couldn’t deny how happy you were. You were able to roam all the aisles that you pleased. The smell of coffee and paper became your favorite smell, savoring it as much as you could before leaving. You ended up buying three books for your enjoyment, hoping that it would take your mind off of your struggles as of lately.

You walked out of the store with your books in hand and found Kate sitting in a chair with Lucky between her legs. She was watching the people fly by around her, while you just couldn’t take your eyes off of her.

“There you are!” Kate exclaimed. “I was about to call the cavalry, but here you are alive and well.”

“Oh please, I was gone for maybe 30 minutes… 45 minutes… okay maybe an hour.”

“Mmhmm, you owe me. My hands are practically ice.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I lost track of time,” you said sadly.

“Did you have fun?”

“Of course.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” Kate smiled. “Now, let’s get you home.”

“That sounds like my kind of party.”

“I’m so happy to see you smiling again.”

You blushed awkwardly. “Today meant a lot, thanks Bishop.”

“Don’t get all mushy on me now. How about we pop open a bottle of wine, take a bath, and end the day with a movie… preferably watching it on the couch,” Kate laughed.

“I think I’m done with beds forever,” you chuckled. “We should do this more often.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

.

.

,

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[mattslilies]

✩ film student!reader - gets an esa with matt! ✩

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

school was stressful. work was stressful. life, overall, was just stressful.

despite being part of a good group of friends, and enjoying your studies, it was incredibly easy to get overwhelmed.

with anxiety and mental health issues that had developed ages before college, there was no surprise when you applied to get an emotional support animal.

your boyfriend had been wonderfully supportive since the beginning, and unbeknownst to you, he had also done the same, just a week before you.

matt had his own anxiety, and issues that wracked his mind from day to day, which was why you both worked so well together, because you understood how the other's head worked.

so here you were, arriving back home with the cutest cat in your passenger seat, and you were in love with her.

her name was hazel, and she was absolutely perfect. she was quiet, calm, and had sat in your arms for an hour in the car before you had finally placed her back into her cat carrier and driven home.

you walked in, holding the cat carrier, and setting it down, gently opening it for hazel to explore her now home.

going to grab the bed and toys that you had bought for her to bring out of your room, you weren't surprised when you heard a slight jingle behind you, as hazel had a small bell on her collar.

what did surprise you was when you turned around and saw not your own cat, but another grey one.

staring in shock, you slowly moved towards the pair, who seemed to be introducing themselves and beginning to get along, trying not to scare the random cat in your apartment.

furthering your surprise, the grey cat moved over to you, a similar bell jingling on it's collar, and began rubbing up against your legs. it was clearly incredibly friendly, and both cats just wandered around you and your room.

"matt?"

you called for your boyfriend, knowing he was somewhere in the home.

he appeared fairly quickly, leaving his bedroom, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, having taken a nap.

"what's up?"

you looked at him, and then down at the cat, and back at him.

"um."

seeing the cat in your room, it seemed to shock the sleep out of him, a smile spreading across his face.

"oh! surprise, baby. i brought him home while you were gone."

you looked at him in disbelief, a smile on your face matching his own.

"you got a cat too?"

you'd known matt wanted an emotional support animal, but you fully expected him to want a dog, or a puppy.

"i did. i just saw him and fell in love with him. isn't he perfect?"

"they're both perfect. i love them."

matt stepped closer to you, reaching down to meet hazel and let his own cat come over to him.

"me too. i love us."

you smiled, kissing him once he stood back up.

"we're cat parents now."

matt playfully rolled his eyes.

"well, at least we'll be less anxious cat parents."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[anotherjheastan]

March 18, 2025

Author's Note: This the Part 1 to the Part 2 that I wrote. It can stand alone but I wrote these stories with the other in mind. Rhea and Jey reconnect after things between them fizzled out back in October.

CW: suggestive, kissing

Rhea was checking her messages. She got an update about her dogs. She smiled at the pictures, glad they were doing well. She missed them. And she was a little tired. She had just wrapped a full morning of press with Jey Uso. The fans would love it when it came out. They were still interested in seeing them together. Rhea wasn’t sure how this morning was going to go, but it went well. They had been in touch a few times since she had her backstage interview with her saying friends aren’t real, but this was their first time really being together. Before the staff could ask, Jey was asking her if she was good or if she needed anything. When he noticed she was anxious, he cracked some corny jokes to help her relax. After another not-so-great night of sleeping, after coffee, he was just what she needed to get through the morning.

“Hey, we should get something to eat,” Jey said. 

“Do we have something else to do?” Rhea asked, eyes still locked on her phone. 

“Uh no. I just wanted us to spend more time together. I-if you wanted,” he said. 

She looked at him and he was scratching the back of his head, a nervous smile on his face. She smiled. 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she said.

“Yeah?” Jey said, his nervousness slipping away.

“Yeah,” Rhea replied, putting her phone in her pocket. 

“Bet. Let’s go,” he said. 

They went to a restaurant that had been the main hub for WWE. It had really good food. They talked about how life had changed since September, including the highs like Survivor Series and the fact that both their teams won and the lows like Jey dealing so much negativity and Rhea losing her title. 

“At least one of us will be at Mania,” Rhea said.

“You’ll be there,” Jey said.

“Yeah, watching. Still can’t believe I lost my title. I let Bianca get in my head.”

“Forget Bianca, man. You’ll get another shot for the title. And you’ll win.”

“Thanks, Jey,” Rhea said, smiling.

A beat of silence passed.

“So uh sorry if this is a little forward, but uh are you still single? Is there someone I need to be worried about?” 

Rhea smiled, her eyes wide. “Yeah, I’m still single. No, no one for you to be worried about. So you’re still interested in me?”

“Of course I’m still interested in you. You still interested in me?” 

Rhea looked down and twirled her straw in her glass of water, her smile a little bigger. She’d always been open to giving him another chance, preferably when things at work were a little less chaotic. Mania couldn’t be a more chaotic time, but was she really gonna turn him down? 

She looked at him. Their eyes met. His desire for her was written all over his face. He wasn’t nervous at all. Did he already know her answer? 

“I’m still interested,” she said. She took a sip of her water. 

He smiled. “Cool.”

They finished lunch and headed back to the hotel. As they walked through the lobby to the elevator, Rhea felt a little sad their time was coming to an end. Maybe it was her turn to extend the invitation. They could watch a movie or something. Maybe he would wanna play it cool and hang out another time. Rhea could always bother Damian. They had dinner plans after all. But if things continued going well with Jey, she was willing to cancel those plans. Damian would be okay.

On the elevator, Rhea glanced at Jey and caught him looking at her. He smiled but didn’t look away. She smiled and gently bumped into him with her shoulder. He started to put his arm around her when his phone buzzed. He dropped his arm and reached for his phone.

He was still typing away when they reached her room.

“Thanks for walking me to my room,” Rhea said, leaning against her door.

He looked at her. “Sorry, Jimmy is making plans for tonight. No problem.” 

“Oh, you’re gonna be busy tonight?” she asked.

He put his phone in his pocket. “I don’t know. I might just chill.”

“Wanna chill with me?” she asked, holding her hands. She gently tugged on her fingers, fighting her nerves. 

“Tonight?” he asked, eyebrows raised. 

“Well, I was thinking we could watch a movie or something now. That way you could keep your plans,” Rhea said. She shrugged. “It’s been nice hanging out with you. I’m…not really ready for it to be over.”

Jey smiled and stepped closer to her. She stood up straight. He looked her up and down. Rhea’s heart pounded. 

“Watch a movie?” he asked, a smirk on his face. 

“Or something,” Rhea said. 

“Something like what?” he asked, his voice was soft and low. His eyes drifted to her lips. 

Rhea looked at his lips, then back up to his eyes. “I don’t know. Guess you’ll have to come inside and see.”

Rhea pulled her key from her pocket. She turned around and opened her door. She walked in, holding the door open for him.

He walked inside and she closed the door. They looked at each other for a second. Rhea walked past him, going to take her shoes off, but he grabbed her wrist. It was gentle, just tight enough to hold her and pull her back to him. He leaned in to kiss her, but stopped just before he touched her lips, a faint smile on his face.

Rhea smiled. “Don’t stop now, Uso.”

He kissed her, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. His kisses were insistent and she matched them with her own fervor. Rhea moaned as he picked her up and pushed her against the door. She wrapped her legs around his waist and slid her fingers into his hair as he slid his tongue into her mouth. They both moaned as Rhea reciprocated, her tongue mingling with his. 

They separated, looking into each other’s eyes.

“I missed you,” he said sincerely. Rhea felt her heart ache. 

“I missed you too.” 

“Can we,” he started, his eyes drifting down to her lips and slowly back up to her eyes. “Can we not let work keep us apart this time?”

“Yeah,” Rhea said softly. “Let’s stay together.” 

“Together,” Jey repeated quietly. 

He kissed her and held her tightly as he walked her over to the bed. He laid her down gently and pulled her shoes off before kicking off his own. He put one knee on the bed and paused, watching her. She leaned her head back and smiled, motioning for him to come here with her finger. He laid on top of her, their lips and arms entangled once again. 

[mono-dot-jpeg]

a child and their 9ft pet - astral express crew

summary; the adventures of a 7 year old and their large mythical beast called ossy.

genre/extra tags; bullet fic/headcanons, anxious! reader, reader is connected to most animals (but mostly their companion), reader is from the luofu, i made reader a bit know it all sassy but it's okay it's only for a little bit, reader is a smart baby

[platonic] [7 year old! reader] [gender neutral! reader]

[buy me a kofi to support!]

a/n; this is the most steven universe shit i've seen /j /nm, that's what popped into my mind upon reading this ask. nothing wrong with it. just pointing it out KSDJKSJ also this is based off lion dog from chinese mythology which is what i assume you were describing from the shih tzu and also im rather familiar with the lion dog myself as someone who used to visit temples with my family (love those statues). anyways, hope you enjoy, you didn't really specify what type of work you wanted, so i did bullet fic/hcs

the crew met you when you were trying to avoid them

you're not really normal in the luofu, you were not really an anomaly but you weren't a normal kid either.

the general knew of you due to your larger than life pet.

well... it was more of a beast of mythic lore turned real but who's arguing about definitions here?

even if your pet was in a smaller form, they were still pretty big. about 4ft. maybe twice your height almost

but jingyuan let you have your pet as long as you weren't making trouble

anyways, back to the actual subject at hand.

the astral crew needed to find you since you were supposedly the young scholar of the luofu who seemed to know everything and loved learning about everything

you were almost a historian some would even say

but you didn't really like the idea of being a historian

you just like learning about everything

but you weren't the best around people

so when you met the crew .. .

you jumped right into your pet's fur, disappearing without a trace

"HUH?!"

"how did they disappear like that?"

"did they just jump into that animal's fur?"

march tries to reach out, but the dog barks angrily and backs up

"okay okay! sorry.. puppy?"

"they're not a puppy!" your voice erupts from the soft fur of the dog (?) your head pops up startling the express crew, "they're a lion! get it right!" you scolded them.

"but they don't look like a lion."

"and you don't look like a local, so what's it to you!?" you huffed. "you don't know everything about the luofu!"

"that's why we're here. we need to know more about the history of your home." the eldest man, welt yang, spoke gently. "general jingyuan sent us."

you sigh as you cuddle into your pet's fur, still leaving the crew to wondering how you're being contained in it. "okay. what do you want to know?" and you begrudgingly answer their questions. you eventually leave your pet's fur and they keep your feeling less anxious about the strangers who imposed on your reading time.

and that's it for now.

the crew is mildly concerned and curious about you\

they spot you around different parts of the luofu as they continue their adventure.

let's say that they even had more time to get to know you better. how you're kind of a wild card for the luofu cloud knights and how you'd rather do a plain hobby than fight.

but you're perfectly capable of doing so

well, mostly your pet.

boy were they shocked when they saw your already large ish lion change and grow into a true creature of mythology, and fought the marastruck with ease.

"no chewing! marastruck isn't good for your diet!" you had scolded after the fight was over. "put them down ossy!" despite their cowering size, they almost shrink at your words and remind the crew of a sad puppy or cat. but ossy listens to you and spits out the marastruck, letting it disintegrate into the air.

yeah.. the crew was even more curious after that.

trailblazer was the only brave enough to speak what they were all thinking. what is your pet and how did you get them?

and you told them the simple story that you gained them as a family heirloom and bonded a contract with them. you even formed other contracts with other animals but not as strong as ossy's contract.

ossy was sort of a present from your family as you came from a line of mythic beast tamers and now you're here with them

and after that, you visit the express once in a while with ossy by your side to get a break from the streets of luofu

you take up your other hobbies when you're in the express, often knitting or drawing and you make drawings and little bracelets from the crew. while your drawings and knitting works arent as amazing as your knowledge, you don't mind because it just means more to learn and improve on.

you love being with the crew now and you love ossy more than ever of course!

[gffa]

I never meant to fall into this fandom, but seeing these really stunning pieces of characters in trench coats and got supremely curious. It took approximately two days to fall ass over teakettle into OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT hell, because it has absolutely fascinating characters, interesting worldbuilding, a beautifully drawn webtoon, thoughtful plot elements on the nature of stories and the relationship with the audience and--most importantly--it has the kind of character dynamics you immediately want fic. I'm barely past chapter 40 and I was already spoiling myself for the overarching plot because I desperately needed post-canon fic that offered resolution, because everything was already so deliciously intense that I couldn't stand it! So, here I am, having a bunch of knock-out fic to go with the absolute god-tier art that's in the fandom and desperately trying to drag more of you into this with me because it's so good and I think you'd like it and I don't want to be throwing up feelings everywhere and not have you all understand how much these characters mean to me (especially the main character, he is such a skrunkly little asshole whomst I would die for!!!!) even after just forty chapters! Joinnnnn meeeee!!! (p.s. This is primarily a Joongdok recs set, but give me time and I'll love all the characters!)

OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT - POST-CANON IS WHAT I'M REALLY HERE FOR: ✦ [Message from the Universe: Kim Dokja Must Die] by jarofclay, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, NSFW, post-canon spoilers, 27.2k     Six months after returning to his original world-line, Kim Dokja almost dies (again). A tragicomedic Final Destination-esque story featuring one dreamer in distress, his personal hero and his rightfully anxious family. ✦ world's end rhapsody by wakerife, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & han sooyoung & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 11.6k     another post-epilogue fic, wherein kim dokja may or may not need a bigger hospital bed ✦ Unburying Kim Dokja by stingerra, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 21.3k     Kim Dokja is back and left to ponder such things like fitting in and making amends. None of this proves easy. He was dead for too long and it's common knowledge that resurrection is a lengthy process. Especially because Kim Dokja was someone who buried himself at the age of 15 and didn't hope for anyone to care. ✦ “You are loved,” said Yoo Jonghyuk. “This is a threat,” said Yoo Jonghyuk. by IceBreeze, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & han sooyoung & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 13.3k     Kim Dokja doesn't really know when he began collecting time travellers like stray cats but it's not so bad, he guesses. He just wishes there was less crying. ✦ show me proof you hear my sound by grdenofavalon, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 30k     Kim Dokja has two goals in his life: figure out why he can't recall anything from before that "apocalypse" everyone and their dog is traumatized from, and finally finish the renovations on his newly (if six years old could still be "new") purchased book-and-breakfast cafe. It's... a work in progress. But now he has a third goal — find out what Yoo "former-terrorist-turned-civil-worker" Joonghyuk wants from his life. Or maybe he just wants his life, to end it himself. Kim Dokja is starting to think that might be the case. ✦ The End Of A Story by mellllting, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, NSFW, post-canon spoilers, 22.8k     Kim Dokja wakes up, and the most shocking part of all that has happened was probably finding out that Yoo Joonghyuk loves him. ✦ white house, white rock by beforedaybreaks, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, post-canon spoilers, 12.1k     “Big family?” the grocery store clerk asks, as he makes his way to the front of the checkout line. The clerk motions toward Kim Dokja’s baskets. Kim Dokja laughs as he loads the ingredients onto the conveyer belt. “I guess you could say that.” After the Scenarios, Kim Dokja moves into a big house with everyone.

✦ unwind the world, is your nightmare gone? by Scribblurri, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, post-canon spoilers, 9.9k     He learns of lots of things that these people say his older self has experienced in the apocalypse: kindness, companionship, strength, family, love, sacrifice; all things they say the older him has provided to them. (He's not sure he believes it.) ✦ Revelation by 1864_9158, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, post-canon spoilers, 2.1k     Kim Dokja realizes he's in love with Yoo Jonghyuk a month after he wakes up. Post-Canon ✦ Will you share your soul with me? (Unzip your skin and let me have a see) by Maru_Chan, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, NSFW, post-canon spoilers, 19.9k     Noticing my gaze, Yoo Joonghyuk looked up from where he was polishing his sword. “Kim Dokja, what do you want?" My eyes shifted back to the System Notification I had been making a valiant effort to ignore ever since it had appeared a few minutes ago. [I w■■t to b■■■ him ■■ half a■d ■■■■ him wi■■■ an inch ■f h■s ■■fe] Uhh... (Or: KDJ might read both books and minds, but he can't read the room to save his life.) ✦ you used to be my satellite by Karelyon, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 3.4k     Yoo Joonghyuk in his first regression, with all his memories from the 0th round, meets one Kim Dokja. ✦ The Scars of Dreaming by Gotcocomilk, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 6.5k     Or: two dreamers speak. Neither are monsters. ✦ today's prophecy: you will receive love (this is inevitable) by kdj_225, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 2.6k     “Kim Dokja!” Han Sooyoung yells first. “What the hell is this, huh?!” “You’re asking me? I’m just as confused as you, Han Sooyoung.” “This is related to you, this—huh?” It seems she hadn’t fully read the status window before she barged into his room. Her eyes, initially squinted, turn wide when they read through the lit-up words on the floating window. With a growing smirk, she teases, “A kiss? You wanted a kiss?” ✦ the false last act by younglegends, kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 8.6k     Living in a big house with everyone was convenient, most of the time. But there were other things that couldn’t be avoided. Or: The end. ✦ Pretty Fool by jokebear, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, post-canon spoilers, 1.4k     Kim Dokja is pretty. That was the undeniable, factual, and conclusive verdict Yoo Joonghyuk had reached after days of gazing at the other man. ✦ missing person report by lorilanda, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 9.7k     Kim Dokja opens his arms. "Okay, okay." He takes a deep breath. "Okay. C'mere. Give me a hug." To his absolute horror, Yoo Joonghyuk actually does. Kim Dokja returns. ✦ you made a deal, you traded daffodils for a kingdom of ash and bone by venividivici, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 21k     From infancy to adulthood, Kim Dokja has had a hard life. He copes.

OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT - BUT I WILL HAPPILY TAKE MID-SCENARIOS FIC BECAUSE IT'S SUCH GOOD TROPE FODDER: ✦ Fire on Fire by alodienr, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, 2.7k     "What are you doing?" He hissed in pain and shock and confusion. Their faces were dangerously close. He could see golden under the dark irises in front of him. The kind of golden that was warm, intimidating, and seemed to want to devour Kim Dokja at the same time. Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes glinted with longing, hunger and want. "Push me if you want me to stop." Yoo Joonghyuk stared right into Kim Dokja's eyes. There was a bit of gentleness in his tone. ✦ The Reader's Lost Hope by bobacrane, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, read the tags, 5.2k     Yoo Jonghyuk is thrown into the past right when teenage Kim Dokja makes an attempt on his own life. He must learn about the past of his companion in order to return home. ✦ Taking Action to Contain a Hopeless Squid by gayboy_advance, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, 1.2k     It started out innocent—just some minor actions to ensure the slippery man’s safety. Yoo Joonghyuk made sure to check on Kim Dokja every time before going to bed, specifically when the other was already sleeping soundly. He figured it would be less explaining if caught, as well as less likely that the man would up and leave once he had actually taken the time to fall asleep. Unfortunate or not, it was not enough to settle his worries as time progressed. ✦ proof of love by Maven_Fair, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, omegaverse, 3.6k     “Yoo Jonghyuk,” a low rumble, “bad touch,” a soft huff of breath, teeth scraping, “ooh - ah, bad touch,” a tongue, softly caressing that sensitive bundle so slowly that he just wanted him to bite already - “VERY BAD TOUCH, YOO JONGHYUK - ” An indignant bite is the only response he gets. ✦ i crave death by exocara, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, 2.2k     Kim Dokja would say that he had no idea how he got into this situation, but he would be lying. It wasn’t as if he wanted to be in this situation (except he did, it was his idea and he was the one who had to do the convincing) but Yoo Joonghyuk needed to be put in his place. Which was under him. Also with his dick up Kim Dokja’s ass, but that was neither here nor there. ✦ speak no evil by cvrely, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, 2.9k     The same hands that encircled his throat at their meeting, held the blade that pierced his body during the Demon King selection, now hold onto him as if afraid to let go—what defenses does he have against Yoo Joonghyuk when he’s like this? What defense does he have against Yoo Joonghyuk at all? ✦ My Star by TeaFlowers, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & secretive plotter/kim dokja, NSFW, 3.6k     ⸢K im Dok ja th in ks: I wa nt him to cr ush me⸥ Shut up, I didn’t want this to happen. He weakly refuted. ⸢K im Dok ja is a li ar⸥ One of the Plotter’s gloved fingers tapped Kim Dokja’s cheek, bringing his attention back to him and his smug smile. The hand tilted Kim Dokja’s chin toward him as he murmured, “Thinking of others while I’m here? That’s not very polite of you Kim Dokja.” ✦ you got me starstruck by virotutis, yoo joonghyuk/kim doka & kdj company, 3.6k     Kim Dokja is a man who has rather clear priorities after his favorite novel comes to life—unfortunately for his companions, informing them about his former idol career is not one of them.

OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT - AND THEN MAYBE SOMETIMES THEY DESERVE A HAPPY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: ✦ the tidal pain of wanting by aryelee, yoo joonghyuk/dim dokja, omegaverse, alternate universe, 14.7k     “Kim Dokja.” The sound of his name makes his breath hitch. His eyes burn with oncoming tears. He hasn’t cried in front of another person in years. It’s mortifying. He doesn’t understand why the sound of his name from Yoo Joonghyuk’s mouth hurts him, why it hollows out the inside of his chest, why it aches with a loneliness he thought he got used to living with. “Kim Dokja, allow me to know you.” ✦ How To Be A Husband by cymbelione, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, 9.3k     Being a good best friend involves comforting your friends when they're sad, eating their unwanted vegetables and remembering their birthdays. Last time Kim Dokja checked, the description didn't include "pretending to marry them". He'd think that he would recall that part. ✦ you can't skip the tutorial by cvrely, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, royalty dating sim au, 4.1k     (Yoo Joonghyuk wakes up in a dating sim. It goes as well as expected.)

[nerdinabook]

Marauders x muggleborn Reader (platonic)

- maybe slight nods to a Remus x Reader romance (I have a problem I know) but it doesn't have to be taken that way.

CW: panic attack, bad mental state, overwhelming feelings, death, grief.

I always make sure they boys are taken care of.

I make sure James remembers his schoolwork and his books before we go to class, he is very forgetful.

I know people from outside our circle often tease Peter about how he trails after the rest of the boys like a lost puppy, but I make sure he knows how loved and appreciated he is by both me and the rest of the boys.

I notice how Sirius draws away from the rest of the group before holidays and around his brothers birthday and I make sure I get him alone so he feels comfortable crying all he needs to without judgement or ridicule.

I know how Remus gets testy before the full moon so I know to try to tidy up the boys dorm, and restock his chocolate supply so he has less triggers because I know how guilty he feels after he snaps at the boys.

The point of all this being that I take care of them, watch them and make sure they take care of eachother when I'm not around so that for days like today when I simply can't bring myself to leave my dorm I know that they'll survive.

When Mary shook me awake this morning I had already decided to hibernate in my dorm all day. I brushed her off and made some excuse of it being that time of the month, which wasn't true as I finished my period last Monday, she gave me a look of disbelief but didn't push it and said she would check on me during lunch. I fell back asleep before I even heard the door close behind her.

Later I awoke to scratching on the outside of my door, confused I looked around and saw I was still alone in the dorm. I grab my wand and slowly move towards the door.

As I rip the door open with my wand out, the pit of fear in my stomach immediately leaves as I notice the familiar black dog named Padfoot outside my door.

"Merlin pads, give me a heartattack why don't ya" I keep the door open for him to enter while I return to my bed. I have known the boys we animagus since before they completed the task, them going on a month long 'silence strike' was as worrisome as a big indicator what they were doing. You see part of the procedure to become an animagus is to keep a mandrake leaf in your mouth for a month.

"Sorry it's just the only way we can get up the girls stairs without it turning to a slide" Sirius returns to his boisterous self as he fully enters the dorm room.

"Wait we?" I sit up alarmed and looking towards the door ready for the horror about to flood into the room.

Right on cue I hear the stomping of hooves up the stairs paired with the sharp breaths of some anxious person come up the stairs rapidly.

I watch in awe and horror as a deer enters my dorm room with a horrified Remus Lupin sat atop him holding a tiny rat in one hand and gripping one of Prongs' antlers in a death grip with the other.

"See I told you it would work!" Sirius exclaims as Remus quickly and awkwardly gets off Prongs' back and sets Wormtail on the floor.

Immediately after turning back into James he starts doubling over in laughter.

" Oh Merlin! That was the best thing ever! We definitely have to do it again" James eventually straightens up and plops himself next to me on my bed.

"Yeah no not happening" Remus says as he brushes imaginary dirt off his clothes.

"But Moonyy, what about next time we need to check up on our better fifth." Sirius wines out dramatically.

"There won't be a next time, why are you guys here shouldn't you be in class?" I move over in my bed to try and give more room for them, but in reality it could probably only hold 1 more person comfortably.

I guess Remus decided to be that person as he comes and sits next to me and James on the bed. "We couldn't let our best girl be all by herself" Remus rubs my leg in a comforting motion.

"Guys I promise I'm fi-" Peter cuts me off.

"Come off it, you know we know you better then that" Peter exclaims "I can see the circles under your eyes showing that you haven't slept"

"And the slight redness of your nose" James taps my nose as he speaks "in addition to the pile of tissues on your nightstand" my eyes dart to my nightside instinctively and see the tissues that I put there after my mental breakdown last night. "And the fact that you aren't showing signs are being ill and there is none of that muggle meditation out, points to the fact that you've been crying"

"Medication" I correct under my breath

" When Mary told us you were holed up in your dorm with girl problems, that was a dead give away somethings up because we know you love to pressure Moony to give up some of his chocolate when your on your period, which you did last week" Sirius moves to sit on the floor besides the bed as he speaks. "I may not be an expert in female autonomy but I know your period doesn't last 2 weeks"

"Dove," Remus takes my hand " you haven't even changed from what you were wearing last night" I look down and see he is right I am still wearing the sweats and band tee I was wearing last night as we were playing exploding snaps in the boys dorm.

I take the hand Remus is not holding and hold it up to cover my face as the emotions that were flooding through my body as the boys were talking all come to surface and a sob escapes my mouth.

"I-I jus-s-st" I stutter out through my sobs

"Hey hey, breathe, that's all you need to do right now, just breathe" James says as he pulls my arm from my face so I can match my breaths with his.

"That's right, just focus on your breaths don't want you hyperventilating" at some point through this Sirius must have gotten up from his place on the floor and took to rubbing my back.

Remus keeps a hold on my hand and when I started bringing my other hand up to scratch at my throat he grabbed it as well to stop me from inflicting red scratch marks on my neck.

The room seems to be moving in slow motion as all the boys are doing something to help me calm down my eyes locked with James as a grounding point as Remus holds my hands, Sirius rubs my back and shoulders, and Peter runs his hands through my probably very unruly hair.

The boys my boys unfortunately have experience helping eachother down from their own respective panic attacks so they know just what I need to calm down.

When it seems like I'm starting to calm down I lock eyes with Remus and break down again, and again when I see my pile of school work out of my peripheral, or feel Sirius' hands run over the back of my necklace. I'm just constantly going up and down, doing better then doing worse, it feels like a never ending cycle.

After a while I eventually just close my eyes and that helps things not be so triggering for me and I'm finally able to calm down.

Once I open them I see Peter standing besides me with a glass of water-I didn't even notice his hands leave the top of my head that's how out of it I was- I take it and drink it all down slowly as to not choke myself.

"There's our girl" Sirius says with his award winning grin, that does bring the tiniest upturn of my lips.

"Sorry you-" I start to apologize but Remus cuts me off.

"Nope no apologies, you've been there for us more then we count so its about time you let us be there for you" Remus smiles at me and hands me a tissue.

"What do you need?" Peter kneels down to be eye level with the rest of us " do you want to talk or just exist for a bit, maybe sleep some more?" He says with a gentle rub of my hand.

" I haven't heard from my parents in 2 months" I say while I rub my eyes clear of the liquid once enclosed in them. " 2 months with no letters, it's so unlike them, I'm so scared something- I inhale- with all the news I'm hearing of muggle families going missing in the prophet... and I can't even do anything, I'm just supposed to sit here and wait till I either hear something or go home for the holidays next week and find their bodies in my living room" I take more deep breaths as I feel my heart rate spiking again.

"Oh dove" Remus cradles his arms around my head and pulls me into a hug.

"I'm just so tired, and done" I sigh into his arms.

"We're here for you, you know that right" Peter says.

"Just like you've been there for us through our baggage, let us be there for you" Sirius says as he kneels down and outs his hand on my folded up knee.

I pull out from the hug with Remus and wipe the stray tear from the corner of my eye.

"Thanks guys" I give a half-hearted smile hoping they can in-fact tell how much it means to me.

[inkdoe]

KOTOR characters as animals (cause I'm insane)

This is probably gonna get long but everytime I love a character eventually it comes a time where I start thinking "what animal would they be?" cause I'm insane like that and there's a reason my friends call me a furry lol. (Also sorry if some things are worded incorrectly, english is not my native language).

Anyway this actually started with Carth. I literally woke up one morning like "Carth is a german shepard" and it went downhill from there. So, do I need to explain this one? German shepard are THE military/police dogs. They have a job to do and they do it, they are loyal... and in general the vibes are just right.

Juhani is a cat, but specifically an oriental shorthair (the long faced one). If you look at pictures you will understand why, they are IDENTICAL.

Bastila was a bit tricky, but I settled for cheetah cause she too gave me feline vibes, but more than cat and less than lion if this makes sense. Also cheetah are kinda anxious and I felt it suited her and the perfectionism thing she has going on. And I like the idea of her "becoming" a panther when she falls to the dark side and all the black spots becoming larger as she falls idk.

Canderous is a grizzly bear. Do I have to say more? He's just built like one.

Zalbaar is a dog. The Caucasian Mountain Dog, to be exact. Or a Saint Bernard, either works really well.

I was sure Mission was a magpie or a crow (playful, loves shiny things, steals), but I couldn't figure out which. Then I found the black throated magpie jay and IT'S IDENTICAL GUYS LOOK AT IT.

Jolee is either a raven or a baboon (cause he gives me trickster/Rafiki vibes lol). An owl could maybe work too, but they have too much of a serious vibe.

Bonus: Seela, my Revan, is a seal. For the meme but also cause seals have trickster vibes too (how I imagine her), they are playful and they are adaptable... All things that suit her.

I have opinions™ on kotor 2 characters too but now I'm tired so I'll make a part 2 later. If you have other suggestion feel free to tell me cause I love discussing this stuff lol.

Bonus part 2: have some sketches I made.

[frozenjokes]

Please For The Love Of Everything Good, MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS AND LEAVE ME ALONE. With Love, HotGuy <3 (2/3)

prev / next

Therapy had turned out to be a good idea. It turns out, when you pay someone to help you, they do it quite a bit kinder and with far more grace, so Grian came out of the session feeling a little less insane. He wasn’t crazy for being afraid, that much he knew, but the ways he was planning on coping with that were extreme, not good, and should probably be avoided.

In the end, trying to branch out and make a few more friends was their agreed upon solution. Have more support systems in place, feel a little less like your entire life is teetering in the hands of one person. It was already clear that was helping; Micah had been a godsend in terms of security, and Grian would never get over how unbelievably lucky he was to have met him. His therapist had been less enthusiastic about the idea of sex and intimacy as coping, but Grian was hoping he’d get to meet more people that way, and he really wanted to meet more people. Making friends as an adult was so difficult, and he was not about to reach out to any superheroes he worked with. He wanted normal. And normal, fun people hung out at bars.

However, there was also the issue of Cub, and more specifically, Grian’s feelings about Cub, which his therapist seemed to be trying to get him to consider were a little more than just Friend Feelings. And- Grian just didn’t know about that. He didn’t quite want to deny the possibility, but at the same time, he and Cub were so impossibly intertwined as people, trying to separate out plantonic from romantic was just an entire nightmare. He was just Cub. Grian’s Cub. Deeply, unshakably family. And when it came to Cub, Grian was overcome with this primal, possessive, protective feeling, one that made HotGuy so threatening. God, Grian wished he didn’t feel so threatened. But it was deep, so deep, making him nothing more than some kind of anxious dog with bite aggression or something, shaking on its paws as it snapped through its muzzle for any sort of release.

His therapist had told Grian simply he was going to have to try to be nicer when Grian couldn’t come to the conclusion on his own. That the only way he could overcome that debilitating feeling of fear was to challenge it. HotGuy was not going to take anything away from him. Cub would not up and leave for something new. However, the thought of trying to be nice to HotGuy made Grian physically ill.

So he made a plan. On Thursday he would go out with Micah. He would try to make friends, really try, and maybe get Micah to introduce him to some of the people he knew? Surely Micah knew people. And y’know, Grian also wanted to get some! He wanted to have fun! He wanted to fuck a stranger! And not part of some mania induced frenzy this time, he just wanted it, he just wanted to live a little. On Thursday, he would be normal.

But today was Tuesday. And tomorrow was Wednesday. Meaning he had two days before he was going to steel himself into living and acting like a mentally stable adult. And in those two days he was going to get it all out of his system.

Cub happened to have Tuesday off, so Grian took it off as well, and he was going to make a day out of it. It would be fun, it would be romantic, and in the end, sitting across from each other at a candlelit dinner (at home, of course, come on, Grian wasn’t made of money) Cub would confess he was 100% utterly in love with Grian, and there would be nothing to worry about ever again.

On Wednesday, when that didn’t work, Grian would go out as Poultry Man. He would create a whole scavenger hunt for HotGuy, lead him on a completely wild goose chase, and in the end, there he would be, presenting himself for the first time for HotGuy to speak to. Poultry Man would win his heart, and HotGuy would forget about Cub, and all would well again.

And on Thursday when he was done being delusional, he’d feel ready to face the world. To move forward a better man.

But it was not Thursday, it was Tuesday, and Tuesday Grian was a man on a mission. Cub was definitely surprised to see him awake first, hanging around in the common room, but Grian’s heart lifted to see how happy Cub looked to see him.

“You’re up early,” Cub said, and Grian glanced at the time, scoffing.

“Is 9:30 early? Don’t answer that. We’ve got a big day today. Good day. Fun. It’s going to be great, all thanks to yours truly.”

“Right.” Cub looked amused, “I guess that means you’ve made plans then?”

“Of course I’ve made plans!” Grian straightened up, pleased, and flared his wings to show them off, feathers recently preened and painstakingly brushed through. It took a moment for him to catch the undertones of Cub’s words, the hint of disappointment behind the question. “I- I mean unless you had any ideas! I’m very flexible.”

“Oh, it’s nothing much, really. I was just curious about that government building all the superheroes file in and out of, y’know. Where you and HotGuy have been working out? You said a lot of stuff was centralized there, right? Tailors and such for costuming, private gyms and break rooms, weapon smiths.. anything a hero could need, really.” Cub shrugged, a lazy, deliberate smile crossing his face, the kind of expression Grian only saw on Cub when he was about to suggest something stupid or illegal.

“Okay..”

“You think they have gunpowder? I mean, I’m sure they do, but I’m also looking for other minerals, dyes, things along those lines. I bought the casings already, but I was just thinking, your place probably has an abundance of stuff I need, and I doubt they’d notice if a few things went missing.”

So stupid AND illegal today. “Cub, are you asking me to steal extremely shady materials from a government facility for you.”

“Of course not. You don’t know what I’m looking for exactly, and you don’t have the tact for this sort of thing. I’m asking you to bring me with you so I can steal shady materials from a government facility.”

Grian was suddenly forced to reconsider every denial of his feelings for Cub at therapy today in one fell swoop. He barely had the words to speak, the revelation making his mouth run dry. “That sounds very illegal, Cub. They don’t even like me there, I don’t know if that’s a great idea at this point in time.” There was no hints of rejection or denial under Grian’s voice, only some sort of lovesick fascination, the kind of feelings he always felt when he remembered Cub was easily just as fucked in the head as he was.

“I don’t think we’ll have any issues. If I’m being honest, I’m sure you’re far from the only bad tempered hero in their roster. They probably hate everyone who goes in and out of that place. I was thinking you get me in as your private scientist, assistant, whatever. I make you shit. And if they push back, you give them shit. Or maybe you should be nice instead. They might appreciate that. Or they might be suspicious. It doesn’t matter. I bought a lab coat and everything.”

“You- seriously?”

“Well I wanted one anyway, and I thought I might need it. You’ve got a job now, so I figured I’d treat myself.”

“Lab coats can not be that expensive- actually, don’t respond to that. I don’t want to know. I do want to know what you’re planning on doing with gunpowder though. You’re not making bombs, are you?”

“Not like, big bombs.”

“Cub!”

“I want to make fireworks. I want to try. How much do you know about fireworks, Grian? They’re really very cool. I’ve been watching all sorts of videos; went all the way down the rabbit hole. They’re awesome, man. I gotta try. I gotta.”

“You. Are going to lose all of your fingers. Possibly your arms.”

Cub didn’t miss a beat. “Technology is crazy, I bet they can sew that shit right back on.”

“Not if you blow yourself up!”

“I probably won’t blow myself up.” Pause. “I’m assuming that’s a ‘no’ then for working on this in the apartment.” Cub smirked, and Grian could only gape stupidly for a few moments, utterly shocked.

“You absolutely can not play with explosives in our apartment!”

“Gotcha,” Cub laughed, and Grian groaned into his hands, dragging them all the way down his face.

“So I’m guessing there’s no talking you out of this, is there?”

“Nope. But I’d still love to steal from the government, and I think that’s something we have in common. We could make a day of it. It’ll be great. I want to explore that place anyway, sounds so cool whenever you describe it. I bet the non-hero employees that work there have some crazy stories. Do you think they’d pay me just to fuck around in their labs?”

“I do love to steal from the government,” Grian sighed, letting himself drop across their little couch, legs hanging off of the arm. “Hope you’re not planning on going in your pajamas, though.”

“Hope you’re not planning on showing up in that sweater of yours. You get changed too, bird boy.”

Grian groaned, loud and obnoxious, “You’re making me get in costume? When I’m not even working? Cub, I just preened my feathers and you’re going to make me paint them again?”

“Only the tips. Is it really such a hassle? Most of them are hidden under the cover, aren’t they?” Cub shrugged, but chuckled at a sharp glare from Grian, “If it bothers you so much, I’ll wash the paint out myself. I would say we could do this another day, but actually, I don’t want to wait.”

“You- Fine. But I’m holding you to that. No explosives before my wings are clean.”

“Aye aye.” Cub gave a quick salute before turning right around, disappearing back into his room. Grian watched him go, a little more indulgently than he’d rather admit, then got to his feet, talons clicking against the hardwood floor. Well. Guess he’d better get ready.

…

Sneaking Cub into the facility was frighteningly easy; walking at Grian’s side, hardly anyone even questioned Cub besides security, but with CuteGuy being as he was and Cub moving with the confidence of someone who knows what he’s doing, the two of them were given very little hassle. Cub was asked to wear a guest badge, but that came off the moment they were inside; if Cub really wanted to check this place out, Grian wasn’t about to deal with the restricted access that came along with a guest pass.

It helped that Cub looked absolutely stunning today. He wasn’t usually the type of guy too focused on his appearance, and often did as close to the bare minimum as he could get away with for work, but today he had really gone all out; ironed, blue button up, slick black tie, that lab coat he had been talking about, which was pristine of course, and he messed with his hair a bit too- it was nice! Grian couldn’t even put to words the amount of napalm delight that exploded through his brain when Cub asked him to do a little bit of makeup- just a little bit- but Grian enjoyed every second, only a little disappointed when Cub had turned down the eyeliner. But the request in itself was enough to put Grian in a good mood for the rest of the week.

And so began the tour!

Grian took Cub everywhere, from his favorite places to corridors he had never seen and through doors he had never opened. Grian hadn’t actually explored this place very much, too focused on fighting and not thinking, but there was no one else in the world he’d rather choose to venture places he wasn’t supposed to than with Cub. They got lost multiple times in the back rooms of the facility, where it felt like no one must have stepped foot in for years, that is, until they were rescued by disgruntled janitors or another half-miserable employee, and yeah, Grian understood. He wouldn’t want to work here either, not in positions like those.

But they found some pretty cool stuff digging through long untouched storage rooms. They took whatever they pleased, from dusty old posters to silly Halloween decorations that hadn’t been used in years. Cub even found a box of masks, all of them old and tacky and hilariously unhelpful for protecting any part of your face; they both spent at least an hour trying them on and laughing, just laughing until there was no more air to laugh, until all they had left was strangled wheezes and heaving chests.

“With one of these I bet I could- I mean, I could be your sidekick!” Cub managed to catch his breath, cycling through several different masks before digging back into the box and cackling as he produced one that was coated with glitter and sequins. “This. This is it. Look at the grin and the sharp teeth! The eyebrows, oh my. This is mine.”

“Sidekick? I don’t know about that. I don’t think you’d thrive on the battlefield.” Grian laughed as Cub put it on, “No wonder the rest of these have been covered in glitter! We found the culprit!”

“Well I don’t have to fight. I would cheer you on! No one would hurt the guy on the sidelines, no no, that would just be plain rude. Oh wait-“ Cub scrambled to his feet, and Grian watched fondly as he pawed through another box, then another, looking for something.

“What would your superhero name be then? Smile Guy? Glitter Man? The Cheery Cheerer?”

Cub scoffed, “Uh no,” Cub pulled something from one of the boxes, concealing it so Grian couldn’t see. Grian careened forward as far as his legs would allow, crossed as they were. He was still wearing one of the old masks, fake neon feathers visibly hot glued onto the base.

“What then-“

“CUBGUY!” Cub cut Grian off with a shout, swiveling around with a small jar full of glitter, the whole thing flying into his face. Grian screeched as the world went sparkly, vision blurred by purple dust and AUGH his EYES it was in his EYES. Cub laughed maniacally, and then a little less manically, and then a little more worried when Grian wouldn’t stop coughing, glitter all the way down his throat.

“CUB!” Grian half-yelped half-sputtered, and Cub was there, helping him take the mask off and dust glitter off his face.

“Oh shit- sorry-“ Cub laughed, not sounding the least bit sorry at all, “I kinda thought the mask might protect your face- that was stupid. That was probably stupid. If it makes you feel better that backfired a bit and I am also a little covered in glitter. I have some tissues in my bag, one second-“ Grian made a scratchy hiss-groan of agony while Cub dug in his bag, “Oh god. Glitter. It’s all glitter. How did this happen.”

“I know how it happened!”

“So this may have been a mistake.”

“Cub, I am going to-” Grian cut himself off with a few animalistic noises, which he was pretty sure got the point across just fine. He stopped when Cub touched his face with something soft, gently pulling Grian’s hands out of the way so he could brush off glitter with the tissue.

“Why is it so sticky? Y’know when I imagined doing this the glitter was not sticky.”

“It’s in my eyes.”

“I’m trying!” Cub laughed, still not feeling nearly as bad as he should be in Grian’s humble opinion. “Maybe I’d make a better villain,” Cub said, rubbing the tissue a little harder for emphasis, but honestly, that was probably more help than the gentle brushing across his eyes. Grian didn’t complain, a short huff the only sound that escaped his mouth. Cub continued, maybe uncomfortable in the silence, “It’s all stuck in your eyelashes, geez. How did so much get through? I mean I know there are eye holes, but still. Oh, your eyes are watering now, that’s good.”

“My makeup, Cub. It’s going to be ruined.”

“Yeah, that’s probably my bad. At least most of your face is covered by the mask, right? Once we get some of this off we can go to a bathroom and properly clean you up. You guys have private bathrooms, right? More than stalls?”

“Not enough.” Grian grunted, letting himself fall in Cub’s arms, “Always some asshole taking their sweet time in there. The rest are stalls.”

“I guess we’re going to try our luck then, aren’t we?”

“You are so dumb.” Grian managed to blink his eyes open for the first time, still watering, but he could see at least and oh. Their faces were so close, Cub’s eyes narrowed behind his glasses as he kept working the glitter off Grian’s forehead, cheeks, chin, and then a hand was brushing through his hair and Cub was laughing- ah, that was because of the amount of glitter raining down off his head. For fuck’s sake.

“This is pretty bad. Maybe I’ll take up a villain persona afterall.”

“I hate CubGuy.”

“Then I’ve made a great start! You know, with a move like that, I bet I could make anyone hate me. I’d be the most wanted man in town, and with glitter in their eyes, no one would be able to catch me.”

“Most superheroes’ masks cover their eyes, y'know.”

“Well I’m pretty sure at least 80% of them are also too concerned with their vanity to function after having glitter thrown in their face.”

“Maybe. Ugh, I-” Grian stopped short when Cub’s hand ran back through his hair, brushing and pulling gently in all the right ways. It was almost like preening; similarly mollifying and similarly, beautifully personal. Again, an impossible amount of glitter rained down off his head, but Grian didn’t care so much this time, his attention entirely on Cub’s soft laugh. “My therapist thinks I might love you more than friends love each other.”

Cub stopped completely short, and Grian looked up to see his eyes, everything behind them, thinking, moving, whirring, even as the rest of his body stalled.

There was a long, still silence.

“What does Grian think?”

Grian considered the question, taking his time for a soft moment. “I think she’s right.”

Cub stayed quiet, but something like peace settled inside of Grian, something like acceptance, something like relief, something like love. There was grief there too, a little bit, coiling and writhing like his stomach was a pit of molten snakes, but that wasn’t new; that cold and angry feeling had been crawling through his veins from HotGuy’s first touch, first contact, when he first left in the middle of his and CuteGuy’s fight just to see Cub, just to talk to him. Grian had watched. He watched the whole thing. He had watched HotGuy take off his mask for Cub, a man he had never met, pouring his damn heart out to a complete stranger on the street. Grian just.. knew. He knew he’d already lost.

But it wasn’t a secret anymore. Not one he was keeping from himself, and not one he was keeping from Cub. And it hurt. Of course it still hurt. But the weight over his chest, flattening his lungs and crunching his ribs.. it was gone now. His heart hurt a little less. The air was a little lighter, a little easier to breathe. Was this freedom? What an odd feeling.

“This makes things a little complicated for me,” Cub said, strained, so strained, and Grian didn’t want that at all.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Cub. You and HotGuy.. I dunno, I think you should explore it. I want-“ Grian felt his voice break, and gritted his teeth past the feeling of open chested despair, “I want you to. And I just.. I didn’t know how to say that to you until now. I wasn’t brave enough to say it. And I’m sorry for being such a dick about him, just, all of the time. I couldn’t- that kiss was just.. a lot for me. I didn’t realize things were happening and then They Were Happening and I was just so hurt and confused and I didn’t really know why, y’know? I didn’t..”

“I like you, Grian.”

Grian paused. “..But?”

“No buts. I like you, and I could be just as happy with you, holding you, than I would be with anyone else. I would choose you, if that’s what you wanted me to do.”

“This- no, this isn’t about what I want.”

“Of course it is. It’s about both of us. I’m not the only deciding factor here.”

“I don’t want to drive a rift between you and HotGuy. And I- I mean, there’s someone I kind of like, too.. I feel.. I don’t know, Micah and I are going out on Thursday together so that I can meet some new people, but if I’m being honest, I kind of like.. him. And maybe I’ll pursue that. See where it goes.”

It couldn’t be more impossible to tell what Cub was thinking, eyes dark and eyebrows creased in thought, “That definitely.. makes me feel some kind of way.”

Grian barked a laugh, he couldn’t help it, laying in Cub’s arms, glitter far from the only thing making him cry. Cub looked a little alarmed, and Grian hit his shoulder gently, unable to do much else to compose himself. “Cub! Are you jealous? Are you jealous of Micah?”

“I-I don’t know!” Cub nearly yelped, equal parts helpless as he was distressed, “I just had no idea you- I don’t know! This is new for me-“ the end was strained, and Grian laughed harder, the tears that were rolling off his face starting to take a new form.

“You know what I told him? I told him I don’t want to be a virgin anymore,” Grian snickered, eying every twitch of Cub’s mouth, every blink of surprise, every intake of breath, “And he said he’d take me out, help me get into someone else’s bed, yeah? But if we don’t have any luck, he told me if I wanted to, he’d fuck me himself, fuck me like a total freak, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking about it. In fact, I’d say I’ve been thinking quite a lot of things about him lately.”

“You- Grian-“ Even in the dimly lit room, Grian could see Cub’s face turning a deeper shade of pink, his grip on Grian’s back just a smidge tighter.

“How does that make you feel, Cub?” Grian asked, barely a whisper as he rested his head close to Cub’s cheek. He could feel the heat radiating off him in small waves, his shallow breaths soft on Grian’s neck.

Cub’s voice was barely more than a mumble, “Makes me want you,” and Grian shuddered as Cub’s hand slid across his lower back.

“Kiss me today, then,” Grian breathed, eyes already closed, “And tomorrow we’ll decide what we really want. Sounds good?”

“Couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do,” Cub sighed, eyes sharp as they raked across Grian’s face, and Grian hardly got the chance to breathe before their lips connected, something strange and a little awkward before passion took over, leaving Grian blind and breathless. He wanted this, yes, he wanted this more than anything else in the world, and maybe this was a bad idea, maybe this would cause problems down the line, but that was Tomorrow Grian’s problem, because Right Now Grian had Cub’s tongue trailing over his teeth, and his own heart was being so hard he was half convinced it would explode. That would be a mess, wouldn’t it. Would probably traumatize Cub forever. Grian wasn’t about to stop, though. Nothing could take him out of this moment.

And nothing did.

Grian didn’t know how long they sat there in the dark, Grian in Cub’s lap with legs tangled around his waist, making out like their lives depended on it. Grian didn’t want or need anything else, not when he had everything, everything he could have ever dreamed of, sitting right here below him. His hands were restless, never staying in one place for too long, but they loved the warmth of Cub’s cheeks, playing with his hair, and ghosting touches down Cub’s back, coaxing out surprised little noises that made Grian’s heart sing. Cub’s hands seemed to be the opposite, wanting nothing more than to keep Grian right where he was, stable, sturdy, and absolutely perfect. How long could they have had this? Maybe it didn’t matter. They had it now, and at this rate, tomorrow would never come.

Cub did eventually pull away, saying, quite simply, “I’m bored,” which made Grian laugh so damn hard the tears started to return to the edges of his vision, and Cub laughed in return, somewhat defensive in his flustered state, “I don’t know how to stop these things! You’re a monster, I wasn’t sure you’d stop anytime soon!”

“I wouldn’t have,” Grian managed through a wheeze, instead collapsing into Cub’s shoulder in favor of playing with his hair.

“Exactly. There you go.”

“I’m kinda tired, actually, is that weird?”

“Given how emotionally charged that was, I’m gonna go with no. We should try and get you cleaned up, though, I don’t even want to think about how much glitter that was in your mouth is now in-“

“Gross! Cub! Gross!”

“What? It’s true. You put that mask of yours back on and let’s see if the single bathroom is open. Otherwise, we’ll just go home, but quite honestly I’d rather make a huge mess here than at our apartment.”

“I’m pretty sure the mess is going to follow us regardless, but you’re right. If it’s closed, then we can just wait and see if we get lucky.”

And they were, in fact, quite lucky. Grian had never walked by this bathroom without it being occupied, but apparently, no one had to piss on Tuesdays, so the two of them sidled inside, leaving a trail of glitter in their wake. Grian had also never been so giddy while covered in glitter; thank god for the covers over his wings, because if he was going to have to pick bits of glitter out of his feathers for the next two years, he might’ve strangled Cub before he could have kissed him.

So today, they were the assholes hogging the private bathroom, but Grian couldn’t have cared less. Washing his hair in the sink was a process, and even just picking the glitter off and out of his clothes was a certified nightmare, one that would take hours, though only forty-five minutes passed before someone knocked hard on the door, clearly annoyed.

“Maybe it’s time to go,” Cub mumbled, still sparkly and purple himself (clothes far more wrinkled than they were before), and Grian huffed, still unhappy with the state of his uniform. Cub bumped him gently, throwing a small smile his way, “Most of its out at this point, we can do the rest when we get home.”

“We? You did not just say we.”

“Ah, look at the time! We’ve been here for a while, haven’t we? Time to go, yes, time to go,” Cub grabbed his bag, barely giving Grian enough time to fix his hair before throwing open the door, only to be met by the one person they could not be seen by today.

“Cub!?” HotGuy almost shrieked, his voice cracking in his surprise, “What are you doing here? You can’t be here! Is- CuteGuy! You said you weren’t working today! Did you sneak him in? Why are you both purple? Why is the bathroom purple!?”

“CUBGUY!” Cub suddenly had another small container of glitter in his hands, and HotGuy couldn’t even scream before it was thrown in his face, nor could Grian do anything before Cub’s hand was in his, pulling him out of the bathroom and away faster than Grian had ever seen him run before. Normally Cub would have trouble keeping up with Grian, but the roles were switched today, Grian cackling so hard he couldn’t suck in enough air to breathe. And given that HotGuy didn’t catch up, or even try to follow them in the first place, it appeared that the distress of being assaulted with glitter (sparkly silver this time) immobilized heroes with masks just as effectively as heroes without.

[davidjordanphoenix]

It is SO FUCKING HARD to figure out what "working hard" looks like when you're disabled.

I want to be a hard worker. I want to learn work ethic. But I HAVE to remember it's going to look different from someone who doesn't live with chronic pain, chronic fatigue, chronic anxiety. There's a difference between laziness and real limitations.

I am in pain all the time. Everything hurts. I have headaches and migraines. My muscles are constantly sore even when I've not exercised. I have constant nerve pain in certain parts of my body that is constant 100% of my waking hours. My feet always hurt. I have a deep tissue skin condition that causes pain. I am always, always, always hurting.

I am tired 100% of the time and honestly? The fatigue is worse than the pain. I would rather have MORE PAIN if it meant I was somehow less tired. The fatigue is so bad I panic when I feel exhausted. When I feel my fatigue getting worse it causes anxiety because I have flashbacks of the days I had to sleep for 2-3 days in a row with no food and only the water I brought with me before crashing. I FEAR exhaustion. Pain is miserable but you can learn to tune it out mostly if you're focused enough on something else. You cannot tune out fatigue. No amount of distraction can pull you away from the despair of being trapped in a body that cannot move the way you need it to because you are simply too exhausted to make it move. Fatigue pulls all focus because you don't have the energy to focus on anything else. When I say I'm exhausted, I don't mean I want to take a nap. I mean that down to my bones, every muscle fiber, down to my fucking eyelids feels soupy and heavy and sapped of whatever life juice keeps them functioning. Exhaustion feels like wakeful death. And sleep doesn't fix it.

I get sick. Constantly. I always either have a fungal infection, or a sore throat, or a nauseous stomach, or a migraine, or SOMETHING. I get sick if I push too hard, even if I had fun. I just went on vacation and spent about 3 days after feeling like I had the flu. My tonsils were red and swollen, I could barely swallow, I had a wet cough, migraine for a week, could barely choke down food. Nobody else got any symptoms. I just get sick because I decided to do something.

On top of the pain, fatigue, and sickness, my brain is a nightmare of anguish. I have a "very severe case" of major depressive disorder that has been treatment resistant since I was a teenager. My head feels like there's constant screaming. I am anxious and fearful of EVERYTHING. There is always noise in my head, screaming in pain and screaming at me that I'm not doing enough, I'm not good enough, I'm an idiot I'm worthless I'm garbage I'm better off dead. I think about suicide obsessively. My brain is a place of torment I am constantly trying to escape.

And then I wonder why it's fucking hard to exist.

Here's the thing: I so, so, so badly want to learn how to work hard. I want to learn how to pour the energy I have into something beautiful. I want to learn how to work hard and take the time and effort to create things that I'm proud of, that can help people feel seen and loved and ease their suffering just a little. It's creation from others that brings me so much joy every day and makes life worth living. I want to create too!

I want to exercise to be physically strong and as able bodied as I can be. I want to be able to cook meals because I love cooking. I want to be able to go for a hike with my dog. I want to spend hours working on something beautiful that makes people feel joy. I want to live a full life. I want to be free.

I have to remember my freedom will still have its shackles. I cannot have a life without chronic pain. I cannot have a life without chronic illness. I cannot have a life without a broken mind.

But if I learn how to work hard, despite all that, maybe I can have something worth it for me.

[sleep-deprived-luka]

If all the pjsk characters where animals what do you think they would be

Oh my brain tends to waver in all different directions, so here's current *looks at time* 3-4 am Zondes takes

Ichika: Wolfdog in a way. She gives me abandoned oupy vibes. Maybe Wolf au also played a part

Saki: Golden retriever, I'm taking that from Corv with no semblance of shame. Saki is Dogcoded, her twintails are big floppy ears and you can squish her face

Honami: I can see her as multiple things really. Anything big and gentle, but the first thought is bear (although a small voice in me says bears are loners so that couldn't work so maybe reindeer?)

Shiho: Arctic fox I suppose? There aren't many Shiho animals in my brain, except ig canon bnuy Shiho (very valid) and shoebill Shiho (which I very like) . I'm still more or less indecisive and assign based on vibes, setting and au theme.

Minori: Another dogcoded girl for me, she got that dawg in her. Definitely a mut, idk what mix though. I do sometimes gravitate to otter or hummingbird☝️

Haruka: Easy penguin, but Wolf au rewired my brain to think falcon. Specifically because a fairytale I read for reference had a guy collect multiple unique things to lift a curse or something (3am brain) and the first one was the blue falcon, then the white lightsword, the golden horse and lastly the princess of France (which I jokingly call Minori pfahaha). I gave au Haruka a falcon because of that and heavily associated it with her (also falcon fits her personality imo)

Airi: Once again Wolf au bias, she in my eyes is a lynx. Maybe severe brainrot has influenced me, but lynx fits her well. It's a feline, it's said to be observant and knowledgeable of humanity, but isn't part of it (I connect this with main story Airi and her idolhood + it's also Wolfs themes) fwuffy paws☝️....Yeah I rest that case

Shizuku: Snowy owl. I want to draw wof au Shizuku with snowy owls, gog au Shizuku is a snowy owl, Wolf au...nah there she is connected to hares, so except that, heavily see her as a snowy owl. Additionally, Owls are very pretty and seem intelligent, but are really dense in reality, so that fits. (Although Sega does give us a good Shizuanimal with swans)

Kohane: Call me lazy, but hamster. Things are speaking for snake and I would actually love some snake!kohane in the world (looks at mirror with big beady eyes) still hamster is the kohammy animal. Hamster and/or sheep.... yesh

An: Another Wolfdog in my eyes (points at a-crowcats-nonsense furry!au) I see her having that dog in her. Although she could also be a dolphin of sorts, many thoughts

Akito: Cat. He's very catcoded and lives in a cardboard box (in my heart)

Toya: Moth is the first thought, maybe because I think he's giving... powdery texture and the base moth I think about is a black and white one. He could also be a snow owl, or a hooded crow... gasp *points at goliath beetle that hangs on my wall* and that

Tsukasa: I initially wrote lion, but then I recall Tsukasa in the Wolf au being connected to deer (in Airis Pov) which I stand more besides. Still his hair could be a banger mane for a lion

Emu: Can I say doggirl? Ig I do put all the energetic girls into the oupy category. Emu is actually just an adjective used to describe energetic animals. Emu kinkaju, emu ferret, emu budgie etc. etc. I see a thing with too much energy and go "just like Emu from my gacha game" she's a dog for me but so much more

Nene: My first impression on Nene was "Her hair makes her look like a pathetic dog"... yes this is another dog girl for me. But she can also be Emus anxious cheetah to her overly social dog.

Rui: I could say platypus, but I see Rui more as a bird. Likely an owl of sorts (I am suspecting a gog au bias) Although a manewolf would work aswell

Kanade: *fighting the urge to say dog* snake... or deer. She's giving "animal who has to be put down" but also "emotional support animal that also needs emotional support" I see a dog, but I'm not brave enough to declare the ninth doggirl

Mafuyu: Jellyfish I suppose. I do associate Mafuyu with many things, yet jellyfish is the most concrete. Probably because of her aquarium + the kitchen lamp resembling a jellyfish + wof au. I do think more of her as tangled in one as really one, but the thought... maybe octopus aswell

Ena: Cat or wolf (Wolf au bias for the latter). She is giving more of a cat though so I settle with Ena hissing and batting at people (Mizuki)

Mizuki: Cuckoo, because of Wolf au bias, but cat in my heart. Cuckoo is just because it dabbles in ugly duckling themes, something something your body is betraying you (which only works in a au setting though, since there she's also a changeling which makes the connection clearer) Cat fits better with canon Mizuki, so my final say is cat, or feline of any kind.

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

i banned myself from posting on tumblr (ik i haven't been entirely successful but an effort was made) until i submit my thesis so here's the shit i wanted to say in my absence (03/29/25 - 04/15/25)

Part 1, Part 2

4/7/25

accidentally bought waterproof mascara which i hate but it does work. sobbed for an hour and it did not budge at all wtf

4/11/25

the way im thinking about kissing someone for science. been thinking about andreil too much. i dont even like kissing, this would not help me write them. at least not emotionally - nothing could lmfao i don't have those feelings so i stay silly and guess and ask my allo friends. but it's been yearssss since i kissed someone. less since someone kissed me but i dont think drunk kisses in bars are going to help me with literally anything

i need someone who will have no feelings for me whatsoever and that will not expect sex to kiss me so that i can figure out blocking for scenes in my fanfiction. wAIT we don't even need to actually kiss i just need someone who is comfortable with gratuitous physical contact/affection and doesn't want to fuck me

instead of working on my thesis (due in 4 days) am thinking about andreil and neil's oblivious ass and the reason we don't have an andrew pov is because it's just him being like i have to kill that idiot every time neil doesn't realize he's being flirted with

andreil + kevin friendship soooo funny to me never die feral angry short bitches as scary dog privilege for anxious asshat who is an entire foot taller than them

genuinely if you think andrew+neil+kevin are not friends i don't know how to talk to you. arguing with me will accomplish nothing btw ALSO jeaneil bestfriendisms. will live and die on that hill. pry it out of my cold dead hands

i love jean moreau. this is known. i could not give a solitary fuck who he dates so long as they're nice to him. so like. jeremy is fine. i love him by proxy bc he's @eleanorpowers 's baby and i love her. this is just how it goes. the only ship i have ever actually felt emotionally invested in is andreil

me, completely exhausted and accomplishing nothing for hours: bitch you have four days. you're in so much debt and you have four more days. finish your fucking thesis. my good bitch. please for the love of fuck

4/12/25

i am actively in this moment filming a timelapse in the hope that it will make me work on my thesis. its working a little. but then also here i am on this fucking hellsite

live laugh lobotomy someone fukcing stab me

trying to LOCK IN but wrote 900 words of my aftg fanfic instead fml

can't imagine hating on kevin as a character. as a person however. oh sweetheart we would be having words

i've said something to this effect before, but i think it really is the killer combination of people pleasing + the insane levels of apathy i feel about my life on a near daily basis that, were i a Fox, would have me going like damn we're doing knives today : / and just sitting there. like unless andrew were actively killing me, which he would have no reason to do bc why would i be in his stabby business, i'd just be like damn maybe don't commit a crime in front of me i've talked to enough cops in my life. Everyone there cares about everything too much. In my head it's like okay i have scholarship to do this one thing. and i have to maintain grades to maintain scholarship. so i go to practice and class and then i go to bed. how do they have time for all this drama. like i remember once when i was using public transit bc who drives anymore anyways and because i walk or take public transit everywhere and someone started talking about stabbing people and i was like damn this is my stop (it wasn't) but like that was the whole interaction. i dont have a response for these people, can't imagine involving myself in their business

4/13/25

wheres that fuckin post thats like will you be a man and watch ponyo with me will you be a fucking man and watch ponyo i need to flood people's dash with it

also. and another thing. thesis kicking my ass. two more days fuckkkkk im writing too much fuck my miserable tamagotchi life and my bitchass tummyache rah

have yet to find a position i can sit in for more than mayyyyybe 20 minutes before Pain or Numb. somehow both tbh. it feels like my legs disconnected at the knee. have you ever been typing and your hands just stop being yours. what the fuck

laptop fan sounds like its fighting for its life

fuck me its cold as hell

the like three? specific vertebrae that crunch and pop horribly all the time are actually a bit concerning like bbg i dont think they're supposed to be like that

4/14/25

locked in too hard and now am over 1000 words over the maximum word limit of my thesis and am still going hahaha oh no

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for not answering the call I got from my friend when her dog died?

T. W. death, animals death

Friday I called my friend who lives in another continent, let's call her A. When she answered the phone she was crying, I instantly froze and I asked her what happened and she told me that her old dog killed her new dog while she was at work. I was shocked. She cried again and I heard her talking in a foreign language with other people, I waited a few minutes but she kept talking with other people so I hunged up and sent her a message (I told her that she seemed busy and that's why I hunged up and that I'm sorry for what happened to her dog and that if I were there I would have hugged her).

She texted me two hours later that after crying she felt a lot better.

Fast forward to two days after. She called me but I didn't answer. I was feeling too shaken to answer, I knew she wanted to tell me about the dogs, but I... Couldn't. I felt too anxious, especially because she expects me to tell her that it's not her fault, but I think it's totally her fault. Her first dog is 1y.o., she let's this dog alone for the whole day from 8 a.m. to 7p.m., she doesn't take him on walks, and when she goes out in the evening or during the weekend she doesn't take him with her. She bought her new dog more or less a week ago. This new dog is 3/4 months old. These dogs are both from a breed known to be territorial and possessive. The first five days when she wasn't home she left those dogs in two different rooms, but on the sixth day she left them together and that day the younger dog died. I don't want to talk to her, I think that her actions took a big part in the death of the younger dog (you don't have time for a dog and you take a second one? Your first dog is suffering because he doesn't receive enough love and you take home another dog with whom he has to share the already to little love he receives? You left them alone even though you knew they didn't like each other? They are from a breed known for being territorial?)

AITA for not answering her call? I texted her that I was out with my mum (true) but I didn't call her back either, and today she called me again but I didn't answer. Normally I would tell her what the problem is, but I don't think it would be a good idea telling her that I don't want to talk to her because I feel it's totally her fault that a dog died.

(She is 30 btw)

[labradork]

I'm so frustrated. Rant under the cut.

So I guess I'd say Milo is dog selective. He went through a phase of barking and lunging at bigger dogs, and especially GSDs, which we worked through. But when he meets dogs, it's like a 50/50 chance that he'll get along with them or suddenly tense up and snap. And I think that's because of experiences he's had in the past: twice now we've had off-lead dogs run up to us, get right in Milo's face and then attack him completely unprovoked. On his first birthday three mastiff-looking dogs started fighting him at my feet, and I had to drop his lead and watch them chase him. Luckily he wasn't physically hurt but it was fucking traumatic, for both of us. Even after that he was okay until something similar happened in the woods near our house. After that he developed reactivity to bigger dogs, which we spent a lot of time and effort working through, and now he can comfortably pass dogs as long as they aren't right in his face.

So while I'd love for him to meet and befriend every dog we see, I made the decision to not let him meet strange dogs on walks because I don't think it's worth the risk of him snapping. I mostly take him to on-lead parks or walk him along busy roads to avoid meeting off-lead dogs for this reason.

So today at the on-lead park (on-lead because it's a habitat for several native birds, and this is clearly signposted around the park) probably 90% of the dogs we saw were off-lead. And some of them were calmly walking alongside their owner and left us alone. Fine.

We got to one of the car parks and someone opened a car door and a cocker spaniel started running at us. She was small and wasn't the type of dog Milo usually has a problem with but like I said, I don't like to take the risk. I called over to be careful because he isn't friendly and they tried and failed to recall her while I moved away.

We take opposite directions around the loop and eventually meet again, and again their dog runs up to Milo and ignores their recall. The dog is right beside us before I can move away and I don't have a lot of choice this time - and they greeted each other and were fine, which I had kinda suspected would be the case, and the other owners said he seemed fine and I explained that having been attacked in the past he can get scared when dogs run at him and he's on the lead, and that I just avoid meeting all dogs to avoid the risk. I say it's frustrating because sometimes he is friendly but I don't want to put other dogs at risk.

The guy nods and seems sympathetic but the lady starts telling me about the wonders of Cesar Milan and how she's trained her dog perfectly by hitting her when she misbehaves. She tries to demonstrate her perfectly trained dog by pointing down at her side and telling the dog to sit. Her dog ignores her. Milo moves to her side and sits. She continues explaining how her dog is perfectly trained and I need to "be tough" and "show him I'm the boss" and beat him. I suck at conflict so I just keep nodding til she runs out of things to say, then say it was nice to meet them and leave.

I constantly feel guilty that Milo isn't like "normal" dogs. I worry that I'm just too anxious, that I did something wrong or am doing something wrong. I wish I cared less so I could let my dog run around the woods and get in fights and act like it's not my fault like people have done to us. Part of me feels ridiculous and overdramatic, but another part of me has seen Milo be attacked and seen him snap at other dogs and I just don't want to break up another fucking dog fight on a quiet walk on my day off. I'm running out of places where I can safely walk my dog without constantly worrying about other people's dogs.

Mostly I'm angry. MY dog is on a lead. I'm FOLLOWING THE RULES. And other people treat me like an idiot because they aren't. It feels unfair. And I feel stupid for expecting fairness. And I'm sick of people who don't know what they're talking about telling me to hit my dog because that was NOT the first time I've been given that advice by someone with no control over their own dog and it makes me fucking sick.

[hislittleraincloud]

Sigh.

I had to explain why Afterburn hasn't been finished yet, so I'll repeat part of how I responded to this really awesome (I mean that...I love all my fans 😭) fan, but here with harsher lang because I have hate for this fucking bitch who hasn't even given me a "Thank you" for anything and has just fucking ghosted me after she got out the last time:

1. The Junkie Neighbor and The Cat. Her fucking going in and out of rehab fucked up my creative process because I had to take care of the cat and her apartment every night for long stretches at a time. I've posted pics of kitty, and will post the last one I think I'll ever take with him (😭😭😭😭😭 I raised him from a kitten) under the cut. This bitch was supposed to be my friend, but she has fucking...problems with herself and her personality disorder. I have zero idea why she hasn't responded and I don't even know where the fuck she is. So if she's reading (I think she knows of this blog), the YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME, BITCH. And what you're doing right now is fucked up.

2. My 17yo dog is on his last legs. I've written how he's had seizures, but I haven't written how his barking after a seizure can get me a noise complaint from my shitty building manager, so that shit makes me anxious. I hand feed him, I help him get water the same way Peter Griffin helped Old Brian in that cutaway:

I wrap my boy's pills in gummies, not PB and beef 💀

LOL Except I don't have to push his tongue into the water like that. And I have to do it every...day...when he's awake. This is a disruption in my creative process too, because I REALLY wanted to pass out around 4PM today to be able to map and write all night but couldn't because he just would not settle. Dogs with dementia are like people with dementia, but less propensity towards violence when you try to help them (at least my old dogs are...they're small dogs and don't have any teeth left).

I didn't even mention my own health problems, in my explanation about how Afterburn's creation got messed. I've got Stage 4 CKD (kidney disease) and only 1 working kidney (lost the other to cancer in 2016). My kidney issues began when I was in France in 1986 and they failed on me because I ended up having HSP (and the strange nature of HSP and the possibility of certain vaccinations bringing on HSP in a few people has left me practically defenseless against COVID). Another HSP flare up would literally kill me (because there would likely be kidney involvement, and since I only have one left...the first time was Hell on Earth, I was pissing and shitting blood — stool is black when that happens...and my urine was bright red — and my parents thought I was gonna die), but I've been masking since January 2020 and have no intention of unmasking.

Having one kidney leaves me utterly exhausted to do any simple thing, so most of my energy goes to taking care of my boy/my girls. I'm on BP meds, PTSD meds, and pain meds (for chronic pain; I suffered through childhood arthritis that just ended up continuing into my adulthood), and when the Big Pharma pain meds don't work, I use cannabis. I don't really talk about or complain about it as explicitly as I am now bc it's tiring to explain over and over again why I'm a useless sack of 💩. I worked a "normal job" until I couldn't anymore; I am physically disabled.

Besides my seniors, the one other bright spot in my life is the baby. I have an Ask that wants more pics of her (I got it shortly after I posted her "Lookit me, I'm Jenna Ortega 🤓🤓🤓" glasses pic LOL), and I was going to do a whole post on her but I'll just slip a pic or two under the cut with the others.

I'll stop yapping and do that. Dogs under the cut.

This is my life now:

And before anyone gets on me about "HE NEEDS WET FOOD!", he gets wet food, but he likes his dry food. I try to spray it with water for a bit of moisture, but if I spray it too much, he won't eat it.

The orange on his face is pasta sauce (he likes licking cans...and he gets what he wants).🫠 It's sometimes hard to clean. He is always wearing pajamas (he has 6 different ones) and his elephant hoodie (he's got 3 of the same, so I can switch them out). Weird story but...one time several years ago I got him a simple elephant costume (the hood had the trunk, the body was thin jersey material but it also had 4 plush legs and a tail 🤣) and he LOVED it so much that he basically wore it out. He would get sad when it wasn't on him and excited when I would hold it up after it dried/after washing. He's fkn weird, okay? So I looked online to see if I could find another one but instead found the elephant hoodie. It doesn't have legs or a tail, but it has the trunk and it's soft and he likes it as well. Having him clothed really helps when I need to hoist him up onto the couch or help him drink. He doesn't have loose skin and even if he did, I wouldn't want to grab onto skin. It's my job to make him as comfortable as possible, not to hurt him.

Now this little (17yo as well) old lady here:

I inherited her from a nasty (racist) old bat who died right before the pandemic. Bat had CKD as well, but she went into kidney failure at some point after she wouldn't listen to me about fixing her diet (she had uncontrolled diabetes too...her blood sugar was over 400 at one point when I was visiting her at her physical rehab with the dog 😨).

She is blind, but even before she went blind, she was freaky about being handled when she didn't used to be. She can't walk outside because she gets disoriented, so she uses the pee pad set up I have for the seniors. I do love her like my own, as she is my own now (my last screenplay actually features a dog just like her). She was part of the same dog group as my boy in the rescue that I worked at...my other boy from the same rescue passed in 2021 and devastated me. His passing led me to find this little baby here:

She only wears jammies when it's cold in here.

I had never gotten a puppy before, but I was in a really dark place when my other boy died. I was seriously contemplating taking myself out too (God knows I have enough drugs here to do so). But I channeled my grief into cleaning up this place and finding another pomchi/chion (we were never sure what he was, but I think he might've been part Papillon because of his ears/fur/tail)...and I found one, albeit chocolate instead of white. I've had her since she was 8 weeks and a day, and thank the gods that she's the sweetest and pretty low maintenance. I raised her on Harry Potter 1 and 2 and Victoria Stilwell videos, and she somehow picked up what good behavior is vs. bad behavior from the Stilwell videos 😶. She used to howl at Harry Potter during the Neville scenes and the Quidditch matches (and the Mandrakes scene). I didn't want to raise her on Potter, but I chose it because it was kid's thing and as soon as I put it on her eyes were glued to the TV. She also likes Stranger Things and is okay with Wednesday. She's spoiled af, so she's got toys from all of those (she ate off the legs of her fave Harry Potter plush, adores her Eleven squeaky toy, and loves her Enid plush...yes, the Kid Robot one that came in a set with Wednesday and Bianca, the latter of which I kept for myself because it's fkn Bianca).

Anyway. That's what's up with me. I have no one here to help me anymore, so it's just me and the dogs. If I fkn die, no one will find my body for days unless one of the dogs starts barking, and the baby doesn't normally bark (she wheeks like a guinea pig). I will likely ask one of the ficwives if they would be willing to at least know my notes for Afterburn in case something does happen to me. They know the general trajectory of the story for Afterburn 2, so they already know what happens with Wenovan, but they don't know the details of the whole (the Goodmen, Joseph Crackstone & Goody, OG Nightshades (Morticia, Gomez, Larissa, Chancellor, Vincent, Mina (the Twins' mother), Francoise, Osamu (Yoko's father), the Petropoluses, and Grandmama Addams (the oldest living "local" Nightshade)) story. I've yet to decide on a few other Elder Nightshades, but I've got ideas. The Nightshades and Wednesday's power as one are a BIG focus of Afterburn 2, so maybe now you get my irritance at the fkn show deleting 2/3 of them.

My boy's sleeping now so I guess I ought to sleep too, otherwise he'll wake up when I'm about to sleep and THAT fucks me up even more.

ETA: Forgot the pic of the cat.

My buddy, Prince (the name he was given when he was born, so ✨I✨ kept it, but his weirdo mom named him "Tennessee Tuxedo"). Wow, Tennessee... I just now realized that.... To me he will always be Prince Ovaltine of Meowcatsia, a cat who adored playing tag with me. 💔💔💔💔💔

[ginevralinton]

@its-a-hare-pom-pom thank you for the tag!!

Favourite colour and why? blue - it reminds me of the sea, it feels calm and sad but happy too. I like the sound of the word. I also love pink, because it's a happy and bright.

Five comfort movies: i don't really watch movies...

Favourite season and why? winter! i like when it's cold and you can wrap up in blankets; i like those really cold mornings and cold nights and the frost and ice; less people are out when you go to parks/outdoor places; there are several things that can't happen in winter and those things give me anxiety; i have work and while it's stressful, it's not intense like other parts of the year

Favourite book(s): Villette by Charlotte Bronte, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte are my top three

favourite aesthetic(s)and why? I think 'cottagecore' is pretty cute, or like, space aesthetics or 'arty' ones - oh, and like, horribly gaudy rainbow ones. Idk all the proper names but those ones just appeal to me

Favourite genre and why? It depends on what it is, but I'll talk about books because TV tastes are just - random. With books, I like 'literary' fiction, classics, historical fiction and short stories too? I guess I like the analyse stuff when I read, to look at the layers and structures, and I find those genres lean more easily towards that.

Favourite clothes style: honestly shifts between girly dresses and fluffy coats to dungarees, oversized shirts and DMs

Favourite music genres: most of my favourite artists fit under the 'indie' category somewhere

Favourite artists: Florence and the Machine, The Killers, The Wombats, King Princess

Favourite song(s): King by Florence and the Machine and Battle Born by The Killers

Favourite fandoms: BBC Ghosts ❤

Hobbies: writing, drawing, reading, walking

Care language you give: acts of service, I guess? or being a willing listener? idk

Care language you like to receive: willing listeners?

Are you an introvert/extrovert/ambivert: introvert

Morning or night person? i'm less anxious in the morning but i'm also awake most of the night so...

City, country or suburbs and why? suburbs. basically, i like where i live, the balance between having green space but also having easy access to towns/shops/cities

Favourite time of day and why? between 8:30 and 9:30pm, because day anxiety is over and night anxiety hasn't fully begun

Do you have any religious beliefs(don’t have to answer if not comfortable)? not really

What does your ideal family look like to you? me, a gf and many many guinea pigs? maybe a daschund (if i get over the fear of dogs)? and friends too? (and ofc some of my actual family now)

Dream future: no idea, can't see a thing

Dream place to visit: I'd love to go to Geneva, Brussels or Iceland, but realistically, I'd just like to go back to Haworth or Lulworth (or, lbr, the Isle of Wight)

Favourite type of nature: I like flowers, the sea and cliff tops

Favourite habitat (eg jungle, desert, tundra etc): the ocean and forests

How would you describe yourself in 4 words: awkward, anxious, serious, creative?

If you could be another thing on earth what would it be: something inanimate, like a rock

Favourite type of weather: sunny but cool (or snow, but i feel bad for saying that 😁)

If you could travel anywhere right now where would it be: Haworth

Do you have any fears (serious or otherwise): everything? dogs, house fires, burglary, the future, people in those mascot costumes, social interactions etc.

Dream job: who knows

Would you be a pirate/vampire/cowboy/astronaut/werewolf/wizard/witch/knight/cryptid and why? cowboy, i guess. i like the hats

I'll tag @sonnet-of-anarchy @thelastplantagenet @thatgordongirl @breitzbachbea @athelstan-anglecyning if you want to do it

[cater-the-diamond]

Agnea awoke with a start. Her lungs refused to work as the horrific visions from her dreams replayed over and over and over. She was not safe in that inn.

In the other bed, Throné was fast asleep. The candle on the table between them was nearly burnt out. A light wind Whipped branches and leaves against the window and moonlight illuminated parts of the room. All was silent, but silence didn't mean safety.

Countless times on their travels had monsters, even people, ambushed them when they believed they were safe. Nowhere was safe, not even Cropdale. There, at least a dozen bad things happened to her within the village walls.

Just the thought of it brought her to tears. It seemed as thought there was no good left in the world, everyone had either hurt her already or would do so at a moment's notice if the urge struck them.

"Why are you crying?" Throné asked.

She put a hand on Agnea's mouth before she could scream.

"Didn't mean to scare you. What's up?"

She, wiped the tears from her cheeks and calmed herself, "just a nightmare, I'm fine."

Throné had gotten far worse truths out of far worse people before and she merely cocked an eyebrow at Agnea's flimsy lie.

"I'm worried."

"About what?"

And she fell silent. She clenched the blanket and looked at the wall, anywhere but Throné's eyes. She was a friend but her eyes truly lived up to the "blacksnakes" title.

"You have nothing to worry about. I'm a light sleeper and would hear anyone enter, not to mention that Hikari and Partitio are just on the other side of the hallway" Throné explained, "anything, or one, that would try to hurt you would be nothing but a stain on the wall in a matter of seconds."

Agnea blinked several times. It was as though Throné had read her mind.

"How did you-?"

"I get anxious about those things too."

Throné? Anxious? But she was always so calm and collected.

"Wouldn't expect you to be," Agnea muttered.

"I'm awesome but I'm still just a human," Throné smiled, "why are you anxious about those kinds of things?"

"... Some things happened when I was younger."

"Like what?"

Deafening silence.

"Sorry, we don't have to talk about that," Throné muttered, "do you want to hear about my dog?"

"You have a dog?"

"Well, more like had. He's not dead, just in the care of my girlfriend for now."

"Your GIRLFRIEND?!"

Throné chuckled at Agnea's shocked words. She had never said much of herself. Even when she hobbled in with a stab wound in Winterbloom, it took hours of convincing for Partitio to break her. Of course every word of it was a lie but neither he nor Hikari or Agnea knew that.

But some things she was willing to share. Fond memories of her father, brutally honest opinions on her hometown's architecture and what she thought of her friends.

As a blacksnake, she loved no one but herself (and her dog and girlfriend, both of which Agnea only just found out about) and "Father", but that as apparently an accident. But her friends she loved with all her heart. They were lovely traveling companions and she never once regretted the sacrifices she had to make for them.

Throné sighed thinking of that lovely woman who awaited her back home. She was just about the only thing that could make Throné step foot in New Delsta again.

"It's this drop dead gorgeous musician," she started, watching Agnea's reaction.

"A musician? How come you didn't introduce us last we were there?" Agnea pouted.

"I didn't feel ready telling you those things yet," Throné rolled her eyes, "anyway, she's from another continent. She initially wowed me with her knowledge of some country called "At-less-dam" and I got to show her the ropes of life in New Delsta. And gods, her accent is adorable."

Agnea thought long and hard about this "At-less-dam" and if she knew it, but only drew blanks. As she thought, Throné moved to sit beside her in her bed and hugged her. She stroked Agnea's hair as she spoke more of the woman who had so mercilessly stolen her heart.

Agnea yawned, "and what did she think of your work?"

"She didn't mind when I told her, but she fully supports my decision to leave. We're thinking about running off to Merryhills or Tropu'Hopu when I'm free," Throné smiled.

She looked down at Agnea to see she was fast asleep. The "target" had been "eliminated" and she could finally rest.

WAHHHHHHHHH THRONÈ BEING SOFT,,,, COMFORTING AGGIE.......... PIE HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE SUCH A GOOD WRITER