#zalbaar

[inkdoe]

So, I was thinking about the sleeping situation on the Ebon Hawk. Mainly, that it's a miracle they managed to not kill each other while traveling. And I'm talking about the first kotor crew. I can't even imagine what was that place like WHEN ATTON AND MICAL HAD TO SHARE A ROOM. But let's talk about kotor 1 first (massive amount of stupid headcanons incoming).

So, not counting Revan (that could go in either) or the droids (who don't sleep), we know that there are two dorm rooms on the Ebon Hawk. I believe that they are canonically described as the girl's quarters and the boy's, but neverthless it's a fair assumption to make.

The "boys" would be Zalbaar, Carth, Canderous and Jolee. The "girls" are Juhani, Mission and Bastila. Yes I know you know, but look at them and think about all this idiots sharing a room. I'm already laughing.

The first group is a decent arrangment, it seems. Canderous is a bit of a dick, and maybe sometimes he tries to get the others to do a late night shooting/sparring match, but it's tolerable. The problem comes when it's time to actually sleep. I think Carth and Jolee could handle Zalbaar and Canderous's snoring... If they weren't doing it together. I bet they armonize, too. It's a whole concert, a ship's engine, a series of frag granades, you name it. Jolee deals with it sleeping in the med bay. Carth sometimes tries to resist, other times he just goes to the pilot's chair in the cockpit.

In the second group there's chaos from the start. Mission is too hyperactive to sleep at normal hours, and she loves to chat and pull pranks on her bunkmates. Bastila doesn't like this so at least two times a week she ends up loosing her cool and screaming at Mission (after lecturing her hasn't worked), who is actually delighted by this turn of events and doubles on the pranks. Juhani used to just suck it and keep to herself until they started to drag her in their fights. She absolutely doesn't want to get involved and take a side. Her solution is to go very stealthly to the co-pilot's chair everytime she smells trouble. Often she meets Carth there. They stare at each other's eyebags. He says "You too?" and she just nods. They share the space in blessed silence (FINALLY) for the rest of the night.

[dairine-bonnet]

Rakatan computer on Kashyyk: ...Your loyalty is dangerous. Your companion could take the opportunity to benefit by turning on you.

Uthar Wynn: ...True or false: there is nothing worse than love.

Jorak Uln: ...One of your underlings has made a major mistake which makes you look bad. He is normally very competent and skilled. Do you kill him or give him another chance?

Me, as a player: Are you all hinting at Malak or what?

[tobyig]

oh i HATE kashyyk in KOTOR. i never enjoy it ever ever ever

"Well, Dantooine was fun and all, but now I've got a whole galaxy of other planets to explore! Let's go to Kashyyyk! I bet my Wookie pal would love to visit home again!"

- me, naively

My party is Mission & Zaalbar.

Zaalbar explained why he was banished, and then Mission bumped into her brother's ex, and it's very clear to me that he's a piece of shit and we're probably going to have to rescue his dumb ass from being a Tatooine mine slave or some bullshit.

I'm not enjoying my time here on Kashyyyk. These corporate shills are real pieces of shit.

We extorted and then murdered the very first gang of corporate thugs that were unlucky enough to encounter us outside the starport gates.

Feels good to give in to the blood lust. I fear this planet will be the end of my brief time spent on the Light Side of the Force... 😅

I wonder if this is the path that lead Revan and Malek directly to the dark side, do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Every planet with a piece of the map is a corpo-fascist nightmare of oppression and they just antifa'd their way one step at a time directly into "well I guess there's no way to fix these problems without taking over the whole galaxy. Move over, Jedi, you useless fucks, and let us show you how it's done!"

Save some of that force lightning for me, lads, cause I'm coming with you!

Might as well switch my lightsaber crystal to a red one now and save myself the time...

[incorrect-kotor-quotes]

Jolee: You don’t need to see our papers. Guards: We don’t need to see your papers. Jolee: You’re um… you’re um… Guards: We’re um… we’re um… Jolee: Quick! What should I say to them? I’m running out of power! Guards: Quick, what should he say to us? He’s running out of power. T3-M4: [Tell them they’re both teapots!] Zalbaar: [No, Wookiee chefs!] Carth: Look, just tell ‘em we’re not the ones they’re looking for. Jolee: Wait, I got it! You’re both… Neimoidian! Guards: *dropping their guns and throwing their hands up* We surrender!

[kirnet]

my modern kotor au no one asked for:

set in and around las vegas, split between rival spice running mobs the revanchists and the mandalorians, the law of the republic, and encroaching group the sith

on top of leading the revanchists revan is also a undefeated street racer (motorcycle helmet = revan mask). they still cut malak's jaw off bc thats very sexy of them

canderous starts out as a mando thug but after having to survive on the run with revan for a bit he and the revanchists establish a working relationship once he takes over

atton is a cardshark / gas station employee trying to avoid detection after defecting from the revanchists

the ebon hawk is a fucked up volkswagon van. license plate EBNHAWK. it is ugly as shit.

T3 is a shih tzu and HK is revan's beloved doberman pinscher

mira is still a bounty hunter. she wears a lot of camo cargo pants

mission is just some kid that revan took a liking to and took under their wing. can't decide if zalbaar is a newfoundland or a full lumberjack human man

juhani is a member of revan's new crew after leaving the city goverment

carth is like. a cop or something. he would be. bastila might also start as one and then get pulled into the life. or she's some psychologist/social worker who is consulting after being entrusted with an amnesiac revan's care

disciple is a history grad student who recently moved into the area and started going to the casinos. actually an undercover republic agent trying to catch them in a sting operation. brianna is a spy sent in by atris, who's part of the city government

visas is a sith assassin thats causing problems for the revanchists and destabilizing them

bao dur. beloved mechanic. used to be part of the revanchist crew but he's since left and mostly spends his time living in the desert and defending the land from developers

goto is also there ig but everyone's too busy for that

kreia is completely unchanged and she still has the force. no one questions that she is the only one operating under star wars rules. she still wants the death of the force and no one understands what that means except for the exile who had a really bad spice trip and now has a harry du bois understanding that theyre in a fictional reality

[lexl52]

[for-the-love-of-starwars]

aka the chaos family 5000...

Mission: what does "take out" mean?

Zalbaar: food

Jolee: dating

Canderous: murder

Revan: it can be all three if you're brave enough

[pure-pazaak]

shrimps frying rice, complex apartments, and based. aka taking the humanoid kotor + kotor 2 companions and putting them into the funniest alignment chart I’ve ever seen.

[mydetheturk]

this just in: canderous is dad shaped

~~

Canderous damn near walks out on the conversation he walked in on.

“Rev,” he starts, “what the kark.”

There’s a chart taking up the back of the worktable, and Mission and Zalbaar are huddled together in front of Juhani, who looks amused. Bastilla looks mildly pissy, but in Canderous’s opinion her expression is either pissy or confused or stressed, with very little in-between.

“Mission wanted to know how genders worked outside of Twi’leks,” Rev chirped. Wily bastard. Canderous couldn’t believe how fond he was of the General. “What’s your thoughts?”

“Fake. Thought you knew this already,” Canderous adds at Rev’s incredulous look. At the baffled looks of both the Jedi and the kids, he elaborates. “I’m Mandalorian. Gender is.” Hands spread out in an imploring gesture. “Fake.”

Rev’s mouth opens and closes a few times like some sort of anti-Jedi fish, Juhani looks intrigued, Bastilla looks even more pained than she did, and Mission and Zalbaar are looking between Canderous and Rev like they’re players in a strikeracquet match.

“Fake?” Rev finally wheezes.

“We reproduce by adoption,” Canderous resolutely says. His words are dry. “Small children are any Mando’s weakness. Can’t believe you didn’t realize.” The Jedi – all of them – are adults and can handle their own osik, but Mission and Zalbaar are just traumatized kids and Canderous has blatantly been nicer to them than any of the others. He was there. He knows how that goes.

Mission blinks very solemnly. “Mr. Rev,” she says, “Mr. Ordo is my favorite now.”

Rev gasps dramatically, clutching his chest. Mission and Zalbaar break down into giggles and laughter while Juhani snickers and Bastila puts her face in her hands.

This is nice. No Sith, no Jedi nonsense, just trying to raise the kids right. It might not be the Mando way of doing it, but sometimes you just had to the best you could.

[oodlesofd00dles]

For the doodles request: Canderous been a simp lord after he found out Revan is Revan.

He is like five years old on christmas once he finds out 😆

Love how their reactions are basically just

Carth, horrified: you’re darth revan??

Canderous: you’re darth Revan?? :0 cool

[wr3hart]

KOTOR 1 in the style of A New Hope!

[inkdoe]

KOTOR characters as animals (cause I'm insane)

This is probably gonna get long but everytime I love a character eventually it comes a time where I start thinking "what animal would they be?" cause I'm insane like that and there's a reason my friends call me a furry lol. (Also sorry if some things are worded incorrectly, english is not my native language).

Anyway this actually started with Carth. I literally woke up one morning like "Carth is a german shepard" and it went downhill from there. So, do I need to explain this one? German shepard are THE military/police dogs. They have a job to do and they do it, they are loyal... and in general the vibes are just right.

Juhani is a cat, but specifically an oriental shorthair (the long faced one). If you look at pictures you will understand why, they are IDENTICAL.

Bastila was a bit tricky, but I settled for cheetah cause she too gave me feline vibes, but more than cat and less than lion if this makes sense. Also cheetah are kinda anxious and I felt it suited her and the perfectionism thing she has going on. And I like the idea of her "becoming" a panther when she falls to the dark side and all the black spots becoming larger as she falls idk.

Canderous is a grizzly bear. Do I have to say more? He's just built like one.

Zalbaar is a dog. The Caucasian Mountain Dog, to be exact. Or a Saint Bernard, either works really well.

I was sure Mission was a magpie or a crow (playful, loves shiny things, steals), but I couldn't figure out which. Then I found the black throated magpie jay and IT'S IDENTICAL GUYS LOOK AT IT.

Jolee is either a raven or a baboon (cause he gives me trickster/Rafiki vibes lol). An owl could maybe work too, but they have too much of a serious vibe.

Bonus: Seela, my Revan, is a seal. For the meme but also cause seals have trickster vibes too (how I imagine her), they are playful and they are adaptable... All things that suit her.

I have opinions™ on kotor 2 characters too but now I'm tired so I'll make a part 2 later. If you have other suggestion feel free to tell me cause I love discussing this stuff lol.

Bonus part 2: have some sketches I made.

[grandpaapiss]

Knights of the Old Republic on Switch?

Well... time to bond with these party members before killing them all again :)

(if you know you know)

[naurispelto]

Day 9 - Traveling

[misunderstood-mischief]

Revan and Malak: the comedic and stoic duo

Revan and Bastila: the chaotic and lawful duo

Revan and Mission: the parent and child duo

Revan and Carth: the meme and dude bro duo

Revan and Zalbaar: the child and babysitter duo

Revan and Jolee: the gen z and boomer duo

Revan and Juhani: the gays

Revan and HK-47: the murder duo

Revan and Canderous: the klutz and the warrior duo

Revan and T3: the idiot and the computer duo

I plan on writing fanfics or at least scenarios for all of these.

[lexl52]

Ezra Bridger & Ebon Hawk crews headcanon.

Revan would low-key adopt Ezra.

Ezra, Big Z and Mission would annoy Bastila and Carth.

Ezra would love listening to Canderous and Jolee's stories.

Ezra would be too scared of and too in awe of Canderous to prank him.

Juhani would adore Ezra, and he would adore her.

Ezra would connect with Juhani as easily as he connects with Loth-Cats.

Mission would be Ezra's best friend, and he'd have a crush on her for a while.

After a kiss with Mission under the Life Day version of mistletoe, Bastila would lecture Ezra on the no attachments rule before Revan pulls her under the mistletoe, into his arms, and kisses her.

HK-47 would get along with meatbag Ezra.

T3-M4 would remind Ezra of R2-D2.

Mission and Ezra would play matchmaker for Revan and Bastila.

Ezra would find himself with a new mother in the form of Meetra Surik.

Atton would remind Bridger of himself for all the wrong reasons, but see him as a delinquent brother.

Ezra would have a crush on Mira who'd remind him of Sabine.

Ezra would pin Mira down and tickle her senseless before being sent to the infirmary.

Ezra will actively avoid Kreia whenever possible, recognising her voice from the Sith holocron he found on Malachor.

Whether she likes it or not, Visas will receive daily hugs from Ezra who, from her tone of voice, demeanor and Force presence, believes she needs constant comfort and support.

When he thinks Visas is upset, which is every few minutes, Ezra will go out of his way to cheer her up, and make her smile or laugh.

Brianna the Handmaiden would find Ezra curious but annoying, yet love him as a little brother.

Ezra would stick up for Brianna after hearing her sisters being mean to her.

To wipe the smug expression of Brianna's sisters' faces, Ezra would provoke Brianna's most skilled sister into a duel which he would somehow win fair and square before mentioning that Brianna had beaten him.

Bao-Dur would teach Ezra a few things about technology, and help him fix his lightsaber when it gets damaged.

Ezra would "accidentally," shoot G0-T0 in his giant red eye while doing target practice with Mandalore.

Bridger would be given homework by The Disciple, and he'd actually do it.

Atton would teach Ezra how to play Pazaak.

When the girls had to dance for Vogga the Hutt, Ezra watched and enjoyed the shows.

When Vogga's representative tried to suggest Visas dance for Vogga, Meetra had to stop a protective Ezra from drawing his lightsaber.

Visas appreciates Ezra's kindness and acceptance of her.