#and one or both of the characters coming to terms with that

[scarnatlover]

Yours is in red underlined

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Electrokinesis!Reader

Summary: Years ago, Natasha Romanoff and Y/N Y/L/N, a Red Room guard, shared a forbidden love. Y/N helped Natasha escape, but was captured and brainwashed by HYDRA, losing all memory of their love. Years later, they meet again as enemies, but Natasha still recognizes Y/N as the woman she once loved. Determined to uncover her lost memories, Natasha begins a painful fight to awaken Y/N and free her from HYDRA's influence. Will Natasha be able to rekindle the spark between her and Y/N or will theirs be forgotten hearts forever?

Warnings: dark themes, violence, torture, whipping, restraining, cutting, skin, sewing, brainwashing, blood, gore, name calling, mention of death, fainting.

Fear.

What is fear?.

“Emotional state consisting of a sense of insecurity, confusion and anxiety in the face of a real or imaginary danger or in the face of something or a fact that is or is believed to be harmful: more or less intense depending on the person and the circumstances, it takes on the character of a strong and sudden disturbance, which also manifests itself with physical reactions, when the danger comes unexpectedly, takes you by surprise or in any case appears imminent”: definition of fear

“Again”

It is a primary emotion, present since always in both the human race and the animal kingdom. Like all emotions, fear has an adaptive function, in fact it protects the individual in the face of a danger or a threat (real or imaginary) and is invaluable from the first years of life.

“You were nothing before we found you”.

We refer to fear with different terms based on its degree of intensity: Fear, Anxiety, Fear, Phobia, Panic, Terror and Horror.

Fear is the least intense form of fear and is determined when a situation promises pleasure but, at the same time, also pain: there is the perception of the possibility of losing pleasure, but one still moves towards it. In this case the threat of pain and that of pleasure are equivalent, generating a situation of conflict while waiting for some clue capable of tipping the scales to one side or the other.

Fear emerges when the context is dominated by the threat of pain or its perception: in this case one is pervaded by the desire to escape or in any case to distance oneself from the source of pain, whether real or imaginary. When the anxiety in front of a certain object, animal or event is considerable and cannot be controlled by reason, it is called phobia.

This causes a reaction that is significantly disproportionate to the situation being faced. For this reason, the subject who has phobias carefully avoids all situations that could trigger his anxiety. Therefore, his social life can be significantly affected. Examples include claustrophobia, agoraphobia, and centrophobia. When fear is at its maximum and is charged with a premonition of death, it is called panic. This is defined by Galimberti as an "acute episode of anxiety characterized by emotional tension and intolerable terror that hinders adequate organization of thought and action". The panic situation is related to claustrophobia.

Terror is the extreme form of fear, even more intense than panic, where the impulse to escape is so high that an immediate solution is sought: in this case the individual chooses to retreat inside himself. Terror is a real escape inward, so much so that the muscles can become paralyzed in an attempt to reduce the sensitivity of the organism during the presumed or real agony.

Horror is a feeling of strong fear and disgust aroused by what appears cruel and repugnant in a physical or moral sense. By extension, horror can indicate a fact, an object or a situation that arouses such a feeling.

“You will never be enough”

Many people have common fears, but you. Oh, if only I had only a few. There are so many that you probably don’t even know them all. But no fear you have ever felt can be compared to what you felt in those moments.

In the moments when you were tied to the bed, with ropes that left marks on your wrists, when they pushed your head under water and continued to do so until you passed out, when they left you in a small room without food and water for days. And the memories continue. Those memories that every day, constantly, cloud your mind, make you feel even more angry towards the people who took you. For the conditions in which they made you live. For how they changed you.

—

The footsteps that echoed in the hallway, getting closer and closer to your room, were heavy, full of anger and rage. Somehow, it gave you a very clear idea of ​​what was waiting for you.

Those same footsteps stopped right in front of your door, then slammed it open and entered that small space where you are forced to spend your few free moments.

“Get up” said the hoarse voice of the man in front of you. “You’ve done it big this time, you mutt” he approached, forcefully lifting you to your feet.

You stumbled, but the strong grip the man had on your arm prevented you from falling. The two of you walked in a direction that was now familiar to you. The red door, given by the rust that had formed on it, was getting closer and closer, and with it the consequences of his actions.

The two guards in front of the door moved when they saw you coming and opened the door, both with an evil smile plastered on their faces, knowing exactly what was about to happen to you and ready to hear the noises they would hear.

The guard who had initially escorted you now led you to the center of the room. It had no windows, the only light came from a light bulb attached to the ceiling, right above you, the stone walls almost made you feel the pain that the other test subjects and prisoners had felt and among those screams of pain, you could hear yours too.

The guard made you undress, leaving you only in your underwear. The chains that he then tied to your limbs were heavy. Those same chains that you had been attached to for hours were sometimes no longer your first thought, not even the noise of the whip with the metal tip, which dragged along the floor emitting an annoying screech. No, your only thought was whether you would actually come out alive, and if so, how much longer you would last. He circled you, stopping right in front of you and lifting your head with a knife.

“Were these not enough for you?” he asked, smiling evilly at you and tracing the scars on the sides of your mouth with the tip of the knife. “Obviously not,” he pressed against your cheek, glaring at you with hatred and causing a few drops of your blood to fall to the ground.

You still remember the pain and the satisfied face of the person who had caused them. You remember one of your attackers holding your head still while the other, without flinching, pushed the blade against your skin. You remember your eyes filling with tears and the two of them laughing at the scene. You remember your mouth filling with blood, that metallic taste that was unknown to you before, now oh so familiar. You remember being taken to a doctor who, without caring about your pain, began to sew your cheeks back together.

He spat at you, then returned to his starting position behind you.

Your back arched as the whip came into abrupt contact with your skin. Your hands gripped the chains so tight that if they had been normal, they would have broken. You could feel the skin splitting open, wounds that were now almost completely healed reopening, blood running down your back. You felt like you were on fire. The subsequent lashes were never in the same place, but each time they hit an open wound it felt like a limb was being torn from your body. You could hear the laughter of the man behind you and, unfortunately thanks to your super soldier hearing, that of the guards outside the door.

You were always taught never to grimace in pain or show signs of weakness in general. Maybe that's why you didn't cry; or maybe, more simply, because you didn't have the strength to do so. The first few times they tortured you, your screams could be heard from thousands of miles away, but now it was as if they had ripped out your vocal cords. You didn't even know what your voice sounded like anymore. Was it high-pitched, like the little girl who was kidnapped all those years ago, or hoarse, like the monster they created, or soft, like you spoke to that red-haired Russian girl you'd met all those years ago, during your time in the Red Room? You couldn't have known that. 

You didn’t know if your mind went blank for the rest of the punishment or if you fainted, you just knew that you didn’t feel the last lashes. It was almost as if your body was a mannequin. You could feel the skin of the whip on your skin, but you didn’t feel any pain. But you could see, or imagine, a very well defined, but above all very familiar silhouette. That very bright red hair, those sharp green eyes, those full lips, that body, those shapes that some time ago had been your favorite.

Natalia. Your Natalia. The girl you, against your will, began training during your time in the Red Room after the unexpected death of your predecessor. The girl with whom you formed an unbreakable bond in such a short time. The girl who introduced you to that feeling that still consumes you just thinking about it.

You muttered her name under your breath, but in that dark, windowless room, the sound was amplified. And, unfortunately for you, the murmur of that name, which even now, years later, still instilled fear, was heard by your torturer. He stopped, the hand that held the whip still behind his head, ready to deliver yet another violent and painful lash. His face showed shock and disbelief, but it was quickly replaced by an expression of anger mixed with terror. He quickly dropped the whip, and quickly returned in front of you, kneeling down and forcefully cupping your face in his hands, his fingers applying pressure against the hideous scars on your cheeks.

“What the fuck did you just say, mutt?” he spat, his spit landing on your face. You closed your eyes, not wanting to look into the eyes of the man in front of you. You tried to hide your face by turning it towards the floor, but his grip was too tight. “Say that again, if you dare.”

Silence.

The small, dark, gray room was deadly silent. The only sound that could be heard was the mix of yours and his labored breathing. You looked up at the man’s eyes, but this time there was no more anger or fear on his face, replaced by a smirk.

“Did I hear that right?” he began, after you whispered the forbidden name again. “Is that the name of that cheating bitch Black Widow? The girl who made you weak? The bitch who’s the reason these scars were made on your face?” he laughed.

“Did you really think she fell in love with you, that you two had something special? Oh, honey, she just used you to escape that shithole that is the Red Room. No one could love a monster, not a murderer, not even a monster himself,” he continued.

“I’m not a monster,” you muttered, watching the man’s face harden and turn red with anger. “You made me one,” you spat in his face, smiling at his shocked face. Apart from the first few times, you had never spoken to anyone like that, too scared of the consequences. But you had nothing left to lose.

He looked at you for a few seconds and then called out to the guards outside the door. They untied you from the heavy chains and forcefully dragged you out of the small room, walking down the long corridor that smelled of death, probably from the multitude of now-deceased bodies that remained in the basement to rot.

They pushed you into another room, this time much larger and much brighter thanks to the many lights, but still without windows. You realized how heavy the consequences of your actions would be only when you saw the chair in the middle of the room, surrounded by all the other utensils.

“No no no no, please. I’ll be good, I swear. Please, I beg you. Everything but the chair” you screamed, your voice full of terror. They ignored you, without even deigning to look at you and, with a few struggles, they tied you to the seat. You started to squirm, trying in every way to free yourself from the straps, but one of the two guards, positioning himself behind the chair, held your face still while the other, after briefly heating the blade of his knife with a blowtorch, started to cut your cheeks, in the exact same spot as the original carvings.

This time, unlike before, you screamed in pain, hot tears streaming down your face and mixing with the blood, landing on your wounds and starting to burn. This went on for quite some time, the guard only stopping when a deep, raspy voice ordered him to stop and move away from your painful form. Your vision was blurry, the figure in front of you unidentifiable, but that didn’t matter. He touched your cut and bloody cheeks, pressing hard against the cuts, making you moan in pain. “Oh, how I love it when whores like you moan for me,” he muttered. He motioned for another individual to come over and position the machine above your head in the correct position. The iron was cold against your skin, which brought relief for a millisecond.

“Wipe her,” he ordered, not a shred of hesitation in his words.

“But Sir, she is too weak. She may not survive,” another voice replied, higher pitched and with an Eastern European accent, very different from your Western one

“I told you to do something, and you will do it, without question. Wipe her.”

The doctor approached the control panel of the machine, and with uncertainty, he lowered a large lever and immediately the room echoed for a second time with your cries of pain. The procedure took a long time, almost longer than usual, but it was much less precise and effective, since the last thing you thought about before giving in to the pain and passing out was the very person who put you in these conditions.

Natalia Romanova.

[booksandchainmail]

A Little Vice, by Shadell Original fiction hosted on the site Sufficient Velocity, this story fills in the gaps around a (fictional) magical girl anime, following the anime protagonist's best friend C who desperately wishes he could join her as a magical girl. In the manner of magical girls stories, the focus is solidly on C's emotional journey, particularly in regards to gender.

Scapegracers, by HA Clarke An outcast teenage lesbian witch gets drawn into a coven of popular girls. Urban fantasy YA trilogy focused on feminism and queer sexuality. There is a lot of orientation and gender discovery in this series, including a transfem supporting character (book 2 on)

Her Majesty's Royal Coven, by Juno Dawson A group of middle-aged british witches who were friends as children are divided on how to deal with an unusual boy with magic. This urban fantasy series is pretty directly about british feminism splintering over trans issues and one particular trans girl, who gets a point-of-view in the second book.

The Sapling Cage, by Margaret Killjoy In a medieval-style fantasy world, a trans girl who doesn't quite know what she is switches places with her best friend to become a witch. This book feels very YA even though it was published as for adults.

Tamir Triad, by Lynn Flewelling After an evil king usurps his sister's matriarchal throne, wizards hide his infant niece, the rightful heir, by magically swapping her body with her brother's and raising her as a boy. This trilogy follows Prince Tobin as he comes of age in a politically unstable kingdom, haunted by his brother's ghost, as unknowingly Tobin grows closer and closer to reclaiming her throne and gender. This is sort of a weird sideways recommendation since this is neither urban fantasy nor, technically speaking, trans, but also metaphorically and in terms of character arc it is about being trans.

Desdemona and the Deep, by CSE Cooney 1920s-ish heiress goes into the lands of the Fae to rescue trapped miners her father sacrificed. A major supporting character comes out as trans partway through, and although this novella mostly takes place in fae realms where it matters less, if you can get your hands on the short story collection Dark Breakers it expands more on the day-to-day world

Of these, A Little Vice is my top recommendation for both fitting what you are looking for and quality, followed by Scapegracers. Tamir Triad is maybe my personal favorite, but has the caveats as explained in it's section. Her Majesty's Royal Coven and The Sapling Cage I was less wild about as novels, but fit your criteria (especially HMRC). Desdemona and the Deep is mostly here because I like it and think it's good.

Coming to tumblr because god knows where else I can ask for book recs this specific and expect answers.

Does anyone have any recommendations for urban fantasy books with transfemme protagonists who arent out or just came out at the start of the story?

[pamillie]

I feel like the more I surf the Dandandan tag, the more I come across people grossly misusing the term “fan-service”.

Here’s my take no one asked for.

(A read-more for descriptions of SA, etc)

The depiction of nudity, the SA, and the bodily violation shown in Dandadan are meant to make viewers uncomfortable at times, but are also meant to convey humor or terror or to be relatable.

I think the story exists in this balance between being whacky and goofy and not taking itself seriously while also having these very mature moments with depth.

The murdered girls in the bound spirit that Turbo Granny was guarding. The exploitation and violence that Acro Silky experienced as a woman- just as the two most prominent examples in the anime so far (there are so many more in the manga).

But time and time again, the teenage characters themselves are not being overtly sexual. Sure, there’s ball jokes and awkwardness and the like. But it’s never escalated to the point of making the characters seem horny or perverted.

I think Dandadan is a lot of things. It’s wrong to say that it’s totally and intentionally a gritty and symbolic metaphor for sexual violence just as it’s wrong to say it’s nothing more than a stylish battle shonen or a raunchy romantic comedy.

What I think it does strive to be though is universally relatable. Women and girls can (unfortunately) relate to the depictions of SA we see through Momo. Young men and teenage boys can relate to feeling worthless or useless based on a perceived lack of masculine traits like Okuran does. Or the feeling that they have to craft a likeable or palatable persona just for others to value them- despite the grief or loneliness they’re experiencing privately- as Aira and Jiji experience.

And not for nothing- I think the point I keep coming back to when I try to explain the appeal of Dandadan to other people is how it captures how SIMULTANEOUSLY traumatizing and precious being a teenager is.

Puberty is inherently traumatic. Going about life as a child only to suddenly be ogled like an adult, when all the while you haven’t even come to terms with the changes going on with your body? It’s terrifying. It’s vulnerable!

Is Momo still ‘valuable’ after being called a slut or being pursued by older men? Is Okuran still a ‘man’ even if he lost his junk?

People keep saying that ‘the story could be exactly the same with aged-up characters and then it wouldn’t be gross’ but I disagree. The story would NOT be the same.

Because something else you gain with puberty and growing up is a radical and empowering acceptance of yourself. It’s this scary uncharted territory of deciding who you are and how you want to be perceived by the world. It can be a rejection of who you were before or boldly asserting who you’ve always been. There are other times in your life where you will change or develop but there’s a reason coming of age stories set from around 12 to 17 are so timeless and universal.

The fact that Tatsu is telling this genre-bending subversion of a story in a generic high school setting is actually the most genius part about it in my opinion.

It takes itself just seriously enough to be emotionally gripping and realistic while also reminding you that the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you probably wasn’t even that bad- you were just fifteen.

So anyway- stop calling it fan service. And just accept that stories about puberty deserve to exist. Especially if they can accurately portray both how hilarious and traumatic it actually is.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Dialogue: Happy Expressions

to describe your characters

Happy as a clam - Cute as they are, clams are not the most emotive creatures in the animal kingdom, so why do we say happy as a clam? Some have speculated it’s because a partially opened clam shell resembles a smile. But the expression is a shortening of the longer happy as a clam in mud at high tide or happy as a clam at high water, both of which were in usage by the mid-1800s and serve to mean “happy as a critter that’s safe from being dug up and eaten.” The longer expressions evoke a sense of relief more than the shorter happy as a clam, which is widely used to mean “extremely happy.”

Happy camper - A person who is cheerful and satisfied, although the expression is frequently used in negative constructions, as in “I’m not a happy camper.” The word camper was widely used to refer to a soldier or military man when it entered English in the 1600s. It took on a more generic sense of one who camps recreationally in the mid-1800s, paving the way for the expression happy camper to emerge in the 1930s. Interestingly, use of the phrase happy camper skyrocketed in the 1980s.

Happy-go-lucky - The word happy comes from the Old Norse happ meaning “chance” or “luck.” The wildcard nature of chance is reflected in the wide range of words that share this root. While the adjective happy-go-lucky, meaning “trusting cheerfully to luck” or “happily unconcerned or worried,” is widely used in positive contexts, its etymological cousin haphazard, carries a more negative connotation. The expression happy-be-lucky entered English slightly earlier than happy-go-lucky, but fell out of use in the mid-1800s.

Happy hour - People were using the word happy to mean “intoxicated” as early as the mid-1600s, alluding to the merrymaking effect of alcohol. But the phrase happy hour didn’t catch on until the early 1900s. This expression originally referred to a time on board a ship allotted for recreation and entertainment for a ship’s crew. Nowadays the expression refers to cocktail hour at a bar, when drinks are served at reduced prices. This definition caught on around the era depicted in the well-lubricated offices of TV’s Mad Men.

Happy medium - The phrase happy medium refers to a satisfactory compromise between two opposed things, or a course of action that is between two extremes. The notion of the happy medium is descended from an ancient mathematical concept called the golden section, or golden mean, in which the ratios of the different parts of a divided line are the same. This term dates from the 1600s, though it is still widely used today.

Slaphappy - Around the time of World War II, the word happy began appearing in words to convey temporary overexcitement. Slaphappy is one of these constructions, suggesting a dazed or “happy” state from repeated blows or slaps, literal or figurative. Slaphappy can mean “severely befuddled” or “agreeably giddy or foolish” or “cheerfully irresponsible.”

Trigger-happy - The happy in trigger-happy indicates a kind of temporary mental overstimulation. But in this construction, happy means “behaving in an irresponsible or obsessive manner.” The term trigger-happy entered English in the 1940s with the definition “ready to fire a gun at the least provocation.” Over time, it has taken on figurative senses including “eager to point out the mistakes or shortcomings of others” and “heedless and foolhardy in matters of great importance.”

Source ⚜ More: Notes ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs ⚜ Some Personality Idioms

[yokelish]

About Lucanis and Neve

I need someone to make a valid argument to convince me this relationship isn't' doomed the moment Elgar'nan dies. Especially if Lucanis is the hardened one.

Either way, one of them gets hardened. Neve still retains more leniency when hardened (Rook can pursue her), her complex about attachments to people is made worse. Rook would have to actively dismantle walls to be able to pursue Neve romantically. Neve (hardened or not) sees the Venatori wounds on Lucanis and refuses to poke them. In her own way, it's out of consideration, sympathy. To her, it's kindness. Venatori wounds are painful like bones that never fuse together properly, and she isn't exactly a healer (pun intended). She doesn't like anyone poking into her Venatori wounds either.

Lucanis, while passionate, is just isn't' very good with people or feelings. He isn't good with his own emotions in terms of processing them. He is great at compartmentalizing but that mostly means an emotion is put on a shelf and never touched again. It takes Rook, romantic or platonic, to literally speak into his mind so he has no choice but hear: this is NOT how you deal with complex feelings or trauma. You can't just put it on a shelf and forget about it. You will have to stare down the abyss if you want the abyss to stop haunting you.

Hardened Lucanis is an even bigger can of worms in terms of romantic entanglements. Because via the virtue of Veilguard writing, the man is denied healing. He not only denies Rook a possibility of romance (which isn't the best writing choice, hardened Lucanis romance could have been mindblowing, but I can understand the choice to cut off romance). Lucanis denies himself the possibility of healing. There is a prison inside his mind he could start to dismantle after Inner Demons quest, but hardened Lucanis will fucking ignore the prison's presence and will internalize continue carry it like it's a vital organ and not appendicitis.

And in Neve/Lucanis pairing one of them IS hardened, no matter what. Which is nice! You deserve love and affection even if you've been through shit. But the virtue of Veilguard writing, either Neve or Lucanis gets the short end of the stick in terms of character growth.

So you either have Neve who has drawn the line in the sand, built a wall upon it, and decided that certain depth of a relationship with another person is just a bad idea. It's like underwater pressure: at certain point you just need to stop swimming deeper. She will dedicate to her pursuit of helping dock town, but if LI Rook hasn't carved out a hole in that wall and climbed through-- it is solid. Only people who got on the other side before the wall was finished (Rana, Bellara, Harding) will get to stay behind it.

Hardened Lucanis is...What kind of deep relationship do you expect from a man who actively sees himself as a danger to his romantic partner? That's a man with a broken leg refusing to get a cast. And Neve will not be able to watch this happen. Neve tells Lucanis they are both terrible at letting go and he shouldn't adopt that quality, but Hardened Lucanis not only adopts it, he cranks it up to 11. She will ask him to put on a cast, he will refuse. They'll argue about it. No one will give in, they are both incredibly stubborn. Maybe it happens once, maybe twice or thrice, but Neve will not do this to herself and simply watch a man she cares for, however deeply, sinking into misery. And Hardened Lucanis kinda comes across as miserable, even his speech of reclaiming his life after the war is over is underlined with 'or I'll die trying'.

Both of their romances require Rook to display incredible patience and understanding of the past wounds on either Neve or Lucanis, to encourage either to stop wearing the shackles of past traumas as part of armor. Those are shackles, they do not protect unless you seek protection from a fuller, richer life.

But in Hardened Neve/Lucanis this will not happened because Lucanis, while passionate and kind, just isn't fucking good with such things. He will come across an obstacle in his relationship with Neve and is just about as likely to think it belongs there as he is to make it awkward. It's a talent and a skill that will take years to even begin to master. Hardened Lucanis/Neve is just a bit of a nightmare for my girl, honestly. While they claim to take their romance slow, it will definitely take a few years for those problem spots to star showing. And I hope either Lucanis or Neve get the help they need before their romantic relationship with each other combusts like an ancient elven relic.

On that note, it is ENTIRELY A FUCKING CHOICE that you have the ability to forgive and push a man towards healing, when said man has:

a. Committed genocide via Rite of Tranquillity b. Tried to tear down the Veil twice and all with disastrous outcomes where thousands died c.Once accidentally killed his friend and twice very deliberately d. Betrays both Player Characters even if you are have been nothing but a friend to him e. Used blood magic on your to alter your mind

Butt you cannot push your companion, your friend, person you trust with your fucking life and the fate of the world to, to heal if you do not save his city. Even if the other city might be your home. it's a fucking choice, to be honest. Lucanis could have still hardened and healed and perhaps started to choose himself over other people finally but nooooo.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Wassup y'all, I'm back from lowkey radio silence with another hot take.

I've been trying to figure out lately why my multishipper ass dislikes a lot of ships within the fandom- more specifically a lot of greaser/soc pairings, and I realised at the core of it it's because there is no conceivable universe where they work without completely changing canon or the personalities of the characters. or at the very least their loyalties and motivations. Narratively, the novel is very clear about this, it even throws Marbit in our faces to prove it, showing (greaser) Two-bit his absolute dream girl who is beautiful and fun and likes him too , and yet is forever unattainable because she's a soc.

"Oh but Lovely, you ship Marbit! And you've written Parry! Obviously you're just hating on our ships."

No, I'm not. I very specifically DON'T hate on any ship, because that makes fandom less fun and more toxic and that is the LAST thing I want to do and because everyone deserves to have their blorbos and their ships that make them happy, I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum. And I realise my claiming I can't see greaser/soc pairings and using Marbit as an example of why while also actively shipping them looks very hypocritical. That said, I ship both Marbit and Parry in a very specific way, that would work canon compliantly, or at the absolute minimum still within canon verse without changing the tensions or the history between the east side and the west wide, or the characters as people.

Do I think Marbit could work in canon (in a post canon verse)? Absolutely I do- but not with Marcia staying a soc, or (more unlikely) Two-bit staying a greaser. If it's going to work- and I think it will because they are each others person, in any universe, whether it works or not- then Marcia either needs to fully acccept that the man she's in love with is a greaser and will always be a greaser, he is from the east side, and he has nothing set up in terms of a future, and no family money to keep him safe and sheltered. She needs to accept it, and accept Two-bit in the process, and embrace a life where she is ok with it being her future, particularly if she and Two-bit ever want to date in the open, and definitely if they ever want to get married. If Marcia wants Two-bit she needs to be prepared for the judgment she will face from her peers for marrying a man so far 'beneath' her, has to be prepared for potentially being disowned/cut off by her parents, needs to be okay with the realities of east side life becoming her reality. In a slightly different reality, Two-bit needs to be prepared for marrying Marcia meaning he needs to clean up his act, needs to realise it will entail being forever looked down on by her family and friends (if they stay in contact), be prepared for Marcia's parents to pull some strings and get him a decent job, not a soc level one but one available to the upper middle class and definitely not poor kids. If Two wants Marcia he needs to recognise that it will mean no more petty thieving and no more booze and being viewed as a class traitor by the majority of his neighbourhood. In either version he has to be ready to deal with the people who will tell him he's ruining Marcia' life, that he dragged her away from her life and her potential, will perhaps have to grapple with those feelings even if they come from no one but himself.

But I still could see them working in canon, and working as themselves, but their relationship would always be affected by soc and greaser dynamics and if they work out, one of them will forever be viewed as a class traitor, and it will absolutely not be smooth sailing no matter how much they love each other.

Parry is a little bit different, but it's still a greaser/soc ship I could see fitting in canon, or in universe without egregiously changing the characters or class tensions, and a big part of why is because it's a clandestine relationship that is doomed from the start, and is doomed in every universe. It's a first love, a secret gay relationship between teenage hypermasculine football players in the 60s. Here, class tensions probably caused tension in the relaionship, but outside pressures would be less because Darry was well liked by even the rich kids and known to be going places, and also because the relationship itself never saw the light of day. The reason I ship Parry but only when they're doomed is because it very obviously could happen: Darry could kiss Paul in secret and still be a greaser loyal to this neighbourhood, and Paul could snog Darry and still be an upstanding upper class golden boy without looking like he's punching down, because no one knew they were dating in the first place. They could have truly loved each other when they were together and in canon it means nothing except the fact that their fight was a bit more personal than any other at the rumble, because neither of them ever intended for their relationship to be anything but a secret. They knew it would never be real in the sense they could have a life together, so it fits in canon because they characters were only ever going to be themselves, and as themselves their social classes make it so they are fundamentally incompatible, even if homophobia wasn't a barrier that it so obviously would have been. Darry and Paul work as a plausible couple because they never plausibly would have ever made a go of a serious relationship, and they both know it.

"Oh but Lovely," you say "by that logic any greaser/soc gay ship works in canon verse or canon adjacent verse. You should be able to see/ship any of them." To which I say no, not necessarily. First of all, not every queer person throughout history was okay with having a secret relationship- quiet ones sure, but gay people had 'roommates' in the sixties, and i think textually there is a lot of evidence to support that the majority of the Outsiders characters, were they queer, would not be particularly interested in being anyone's dirty little secret. And even if that weren't the case, and they'd be fine with a secret relationship, the fact remains that the greasers and the socs don't like each other. In fact, they canonically despise each other to the point where violence between the groups is commonplace. Darry was in a very unique position as captain of the football team and boy of the year, to form a connection with Paul that would be able to blossom into romance. He had a level of comfort and familiarity with the socs that the vast majority of the greasers don't have, and would never attempt to or even want to attain. The average greaser sees the socs as a danger and the reason they always get the short end of the stcik, and the average soc sees the greasers as ruffians and thugs, dirt under their shoes that belongs there. Yes, the book makes the point that all people are just people, but from what we see textually the chances of a greaser and a soc- particularly of the same gender- getting close enough to form a romantic attachment is slim to none unless both sides got really cool with a bunch of stuff really quickly after the rumble.

ANWAY if anyone is still here thank you for listening to my rambly unedited thoughts from 2am, these are my reasons for not shipping the majority of greaser/soc pairs, I hope they make sense

[convenient-plot-device]

Was anyone else surprised by how much more visceral the violence was this season of TDP? Not in a bad way-- I'm a horror fan, I love fantasy violence-- it just feels like the show has matured a lot in terms of what it thinks its audience can handle since season one. I remember when they never showed any blood onscreen, even during battles and invasions and assassinations (all the guards lying uninjured on the ground during the invasion of Katolis comes to mind), and now we have fully animated, front-and-center scenes of Aaravos getting shot through the throat with an arrow, Lujanne getting stabbed in the gut, Aaravos crushing Karim to death like a bug, Claudia getting her leg chopped off, Stella *decapitating a dragon with her portals* (I'm still not over that one), etc. It's such an interesting change, and honestly I'm all for it! Let the violence match the stakes, and let both grow with the characters and audience. I love how more and more complex and painful topics are being covered as the show goes on, like learning that you were taught whitewashed history as a child (specifically calling back to the real-world Terra Nullius belief with the story that the land was already empty and magicless when the humans arrived), or domestic abuse (with how Viren attacked his wife). I don't know what my thesis here is, I just like that the show's grown up with me.

[sapphoscreature]

Caitlyn and the Grey- A Deep Dive

I’d really like to explore Caitlyn’s use of the Grey in Act 1. This is not me trying to excuse Caitlyn’s choices, but I think, as with all things in Arcane, there’s nuance in the reason, the outcome, and the reactions this causes from other characters. There are grey areas where the characters interact, and nuance in the morally grey choices they make, something I think in large part the Grey embodies, and I just really want to explore it out of a fascination with the storytelling in this show.

The Background

In episode 1, it is agreed that enforcers will enter the Underground to locate Jinx as a ‘single deranged individual’ responsible for the Council attack. Mel and Caitlyn are reluctant to allow this to happen, knowing ‘innocents will be caught in the crossfire.’ With Ambessa’s interjection, however, the invasion is set to go ahead, although without the use of Hextech.

Throughout this episode we see Caitlyn’s dwindling mental state. Her grief, guilt, and anger are battling with her empathy and level-headed thinking. This affects all the choices she makes. This is so interesting to watch, especially when it comes to Vi.

Vi is the person with whom Caitlyn is vulnerable. She collapses into her arms and breaks down. She represents calm to Caitlyn, as reflected in the vent/wind chime system in her hideaway. Yet Caitlyn’s guilt is causing her thinking to go askew, and I think she is falling back onto the systems and structures of Piltover with which she has grown up for guidance. Not only that, but she is now head of the Kiramman house, a ‘pillar’ of the Piltovan society, something which she admits she does not feel deserving nor ready for. Heavy is the crown.

In relation to Vi, this leads her to spring an enforcer badge on her. Caitlyn’s reasoning is complex, for she no longer believes in the ‘reckless plans’ which they had carried out in season 1 and which she believes led to her mother’s death (‘my arrogance led me to take on more than I could handle, and she paid the price’), but there remains that belief in each other that was there in season 1 when they addressed the council. ‘You can show that not all of Zaun supports Jinx. We can show them. Together.’ Caitlyn is falling back onto old systems, but I think she also believes that Vi can be the difference within those systems, that she defies, to an extent, those systems. The lines blur around them as their feelings for each other continue to defy the ‘oil and water’ division. And, if Maddie’s words are to be believed, Caitlyn demanded a badge for Vi because ‘if every enforcer had a heart like yours, we could take on Noxus itself.’

Vi is fiercely protective, and Caitlyn’s safe space, and Caitlyn needs her help. She says as much after the memorial attack when admitting she was ‘wrong’ to ‘spring the badge’ on Vi. It is only that ‘every way I slice it, if I go after your sister alone, one of us comes back in a box.’ Caitlyn does not want Jinx dead, although once again why is complex, perhaps both for Vi’s sake, and for justice’s. But Vi is crucial, not only in being the first to become suspicious of the attack on the memorial and stopping it, but also grounding Caitlyn afterwards. Well, as much as she can, as this is when we see Caitlyn slipping. The memorial attack is the tipping point. She is so angry. She is losing her empathy, calling the attackers ‘animals.’

Vi encourages her to stop the invasion on Zaun. ‘Down there, you’ll be on their terms.’ ‘None of this is on our terms,’ Caitlyn replies, growing more and more anguished. ‘Maybe you should change that,’ Vi challenges, looking, I think, for the Caitlyn who took on the council in season 1. The Caitlyn who, after that failed, was ready to make a new plan and ‘fix’ things. The Caitlyn who was a misfit to her own society.

But as I’ve said, she is falling back onto Piltovan power structures. And she reveals as much to Vi. ‘She dies and leaves this giant hole, and I’m just supposed to fill it. Like she was never there to begin with.’ This is an expression of grief but also, I think, of the rigid structure of Piltovan society. One Kiramman dies, another steps into their place.  

I think this is the most vulnerable we ever see Caitlyn when she admits that ‘it’s all coming apart,’ and Vi is there to offer her comfort and hope. ‘We won’t let it.’ We’ll figure this out, she seems to say. We’ll come up with a plan. ‘We,’ as if they can function as they used to, defying all the power structures in place to follow their own path. But it is far too late for that, they are already embroiled in a war, and having to pick a side. Vi in this episode deserves way more attention than I’m giving her right now, but she puts on the enforcer uniform, believing her sister is gone. Believing this is how she can help.

And Caitlyn seems to stop fighting the pressure of her name. She accesses her family archives using the literal symbol (the key) of their power and discovers the vents and the Grey. She interrupts the council and wields her family name like a weapon to impose her own choices. There will be no invasion, just her strike team. They will enter Zaun to ‘locate Jinx, dismantle shimmer, and neutralise any agents still loyal to Silco.’

The plan is structured and methodical, as is Caitlyn. The plan is stopping full on invasion. The plan is targeting those individuals who are harmful to both Piltover and Zaun. But the Caitlyn of season 1 has vanished beneath a colder exterior. Her visual presentation is enough to tell us that she might be driven by justice, but she is also driven by revenge. And that revenge, that burning hellfire of emotions, is distorting her vision and her choices.

Zaun

I want to touch now on the context we are given as to what is happening in Zaun following Silco’s death before finally tackling the use of the Grey (I know, sorry, but I think this is all important in trying to analyse what is going on).

Jinx puts it best. ‘It’s all going to shit.’ Fighting has broken out amongst the chem-barons now vying for power in the vacuum Silco has left. The ‘Sucker’ sequence shows us fighting on the streets, fires breaking out. Children like Isha are running from the chem-barons’ goons. The Firelights are bringing people to their safe haven because of all the fighting. Deaths are referenced in a meeting with the chem-barons organised by Sevika.

Jinx walks through all of this, cloaked and seemingly uncaring, focussed on the loss of Silco. She does, however, save Isha from the goons when she literally falls on top of her. Like Vi, she deserves her own deep dive, but I will be touching on her actions in response to Caitlyn’s across episodes 2 & 3 in a bit as it’s so interesting, particularly considering how they always parallel and contrast each other.

Something that’s clear, I think, is that these are, as Sevika calls them, ‘turf wars.’ Inference tells us that different chem-barons control different areas of the city- ‘you started this dance when you raided the Rapturewalk.’  Innocents are getting hurt because the conflict is in the city itself. This is the environment into which Caitlyn’s strike team enters.

‘Hellfire’

So, let’s look at Caitlyn’s use of the Grey, and how it intersects and impacts what’s happening in Zaun. I am going to discuss the ‘hellfire’ sequence alongside events as shown in episode 2 as they happen concurrently, teasing out a timeline before analysing what we can interpret from character actions and how they are framed within the narrative.  

Timeline of Events

Having decided on a plan, Caitlyn’s strike team descend into the undercity using the ventilation system which they access through the wind chime mechanism in Caitlyn’s hideaway (this is where the strike team- minus Cait and Vi- are shown to be exiting from in episode 3).

We see Caitlyn activating the vents in order to drive the Grey down into the undercity. First, Silco’s goons are seen running from the plume of gas. Then, they target Margot’s base, engaging in physical violence to incapacitate her group and question them about Jinx’s whereabouts (who we know wants nothing to do with this).

Chem-baron Smeech arrives at Margot’s base, from my understanding, as the strike team are carrying out their plan. He sends his men in, where one encounters the strike team. These same men are shown fighting with the strike team during the hellfire sequence. The strike team seem to be easily able to overpower them. They have the Hextech weaponry, of course.

Piecing together the timeline, I think Smeech moves on to the meeting with the other chem-barons and Sevika. I’m assuming they have left their lackeys to do their dirty work. The strike team then heads for the shimmer factory, flooding that with the Grey. As far as I can tell, Caitlyn uses the net device on her gun to capture two of the chem-barons before destroying vials of shimmer.

The next time we see them is with Jinx in the arcade. We can assume that Vi is the one who leads them there, seeing as it was a place they frequented as kids. After Jinx escapes, we next see them in the pipes for the vents where they come across Heenot and Jinx’s booby trap meant to lure them towards her in the temple of Janna.

(I’m going to focus more on Jinx and her retaliation in a bit).

Analysis and my own interpretation

(Disclaimer: this is all I have gleaned from my interpretation. Tbh to an extent it’s difficult to see what exactly is going on, which maybe be an intentional choice which only adds another layer to grey areas surrounding these morally grey choices)

So, the strike team’s aims were:

Locate Jinx

Dismantle shimmer

Neutralise any agents still loyal to Silco

We see them doing all three (or, at least, trying to find Jinx). And this is where it gets complex, because to an extent the strike team’s motives might actually benefit Zaun. Destroying shimmer, something which stems from the damage Cait and Vi see shimmer cause, because of Silco and Singed, in Zaun during season 1, would be to destabilise the power struggle going on between the chem-barons causing violence on the streets. When Smeech reaches Margot’s, he comments that the Grey has ‘cleared the place out. Might have made our jobs a lot easier.’ The Grey may have de-escalated violence (although what Smeech wants- domination for himself- is hardly beneficial to Zaun, but Sevika soon takes care of him).  

When Vi confronts Jinx, she argues that they used the Grey to ‘clear the streets. To keep people safe.’ If Vi believes her own words, the Grey might be perceived through the strike team’s eyes as a preferable choice to a full-on invasion. We do see them run and free Heenot, Smeech’s lackey who Jinx leaves tied up (I’ll get into that soon), inhaling the Grey, to aid him. Harming innocents is not their intent. Their use of the Grey appears targeted to the chembarons, Silco’s ‘agents’, and Jinx- the Grey seeps from Margot’s base but the street itself is not flooded. As the strike team enter the arcade the Grey seeps in, but when Jinx escapes afterwards, the street outside is clear.

But this is where it is important to consider the framing and Caitlyn’s mindset at this time. The Grey is threatening, even if it is not being used with blind abandon. It is consistently presented as a monster. We see this through its depiction in the Kiramman archives and through the eyes of the Zaunites- Smeech’s lackey and Jinx perceive it, and the strike team who appear from within it, as such. That the reflection of this monster is reflected back onto Caitlyn’s face is a clear indication of the dark path she is going down.

And, as with the chem-barons’ terf wars, this is playing out on the streets of Zaun. The frame of the strike team coming after Silco’s goons appears to be on a street (note: from what I can tell, these are Silco's people. Looking back at season 1 they appear with him). Crucially, they are the only characters depicted in this frame, no other Zaunites, but that this frame is paralleled to an image from the Kiramman archive of Zaunites running from a pollution cloud is striking (although also worth considering the differences in these frames, too), and is why I think the Grey intentionally represents the morally grey path down which Caitlyn is venturing through its very being.

The strike team is both helping the undercity and harming it. They are seeking justice against those who have harmed the undercity by being complicit in the distribution of shimmer, but are utilising systems which underline the ingrained imbalance of power between Piltover and Zaun- Caitlyn has knowledge only available due to her position of power and privilege. At the same time, becoming ever more blinded by revenge, Caitlyn is harming her own name and legacy- the vents had originally been built to help- and losing her moral compass. She is a figure of vengeance in the hellfire sequence, eyes burning red. The framing pulls no punches.

Jinx

However, there is yet another layer to the Grey that I want to explore, concerning Jinx and her retaliation to the strike team’s actions. As in other cases such as cracking hextech and breaking into Caitlyn’s house to kidnap her in season one, Jinx defies the power imbalance between Piltover and Zaun (something which leads to her becoming a symbol of Zaunite resistance, but I’m not going to go deep into that right now).

She is deeply upset when she sees Vi as part of the strike team flooding the arcade with the Grey. We see she lays trigger explosives in the vents to presumably incapacitate the strike team. She stops a propellor, tying Smeech’s lackey Heenot to it (following the fight with Sevika) and also hanging vivisected dolls of the strike team members. She is taunting them.

Heenot tells Cait and Vi that ‘Jinx is off the rails, even for her. She’s got a real fire lit under her ass. She’s planning something big, right here in the pipeworks. She was heading towards the old tunnels. Something about rerouting the vents.’

We see Silco and Jinx use the Grey (or something like it) on both the chem-barons and Sevika in season 1, and it seems clear Jinx has some knowledge of the vents. She redirects the Grey down towards the temple of Janna to lead Caitlyn and Vi to the fight in episode 3 (worth nothing- who is Janna? Idk anything about lol lore so maybe I’m wrong, but is there something in suggesting it could be a Kiramman ancestor, if they were the ones to provide cleaner air to the undercity? Interesting to consider in light of the myriad ways the two cities interact with each other).

Significantly, following the fight, Sevika triggers explosives which releases air which travels at high volumes through the vents. This streamlines the Grey directly up towards Piltover, where it explodes throughout the city in Jinx’s trademark flourish of vibrant colours.

To me, this represents how Jinx defies the power imbalance. She does this for her own ends, but her actions also benefit Zaun as a whole, churning the Grey up to topside. Arcane features a conflict between two cities older and larger than the characters, but it is through the characters we watch it play out. Their choices. How they continue the cycles of violence.

For Caitlyn, I think Jinx’s retaliation reflects how her actions have become more harmful than helpful. She is harming everyone, including the city she is trying to protect, as well as the people she loves, turning on Vi out of a feeling of betrayal. The Grey explosions cause great distress and injury, something which enables Ambessa to consolidate her position as Piltover’s saviour (and so, in a way, ironically doom Caitlyn to the commander position to which she is appointed).

She is harming herself, too, which is symbolised by the Grey (dyed Jinx’s blue) bursting through the metal slats in the wind chime device in her hideaway. This device had represented the turning of Caitlyn’s mind and the peace she had found in Vi. All of that is destroyed and stained blue.

Conclusion

There is so much more you could interpret about the Grey, about how the characters’ personal vendettas become political as Piltover and Zaun are pushed further and further into war. However, I really wanted to dive into Caitlyn’s use of it and why. The good intentions of the strike team to prevent a full-on invasion and dismantle shimmer are mixed in with the thick air of grief and guilt-poisoned vengeance. It’s devastating to watch, I think, as Caitlyn loses herself. But then, ‘Arcane’ is a tragedy.

If you’ve reached the end of this, thank you so much for reading. I realise it is really long. This is just my interpretation of things born out of a fascination with the layers and complexity in this show and is by no means intended to be definitive. I could have probably kept rewording and exploring more layers and parallels, but I have other things in my life lol.

But I will say, I think it’s easy to look at Caitlyn and decide that she represents all the wrongs Piltover has ever done to Zaun. But if Arcane is character driven, then it is worth considering how Caitlyn herself becomes trapped in a system far greater and far older than herself. This entrapment is certainly of her own making to an extent, although we see how the power structures in Piltover work to create demands and expectations (and add to that Ambessa’s presence… it’s a power battle), but what I’m trying to say is- we have characters who are agents through whom systems of power, etc. continue to function and whose legitimacy is either questioned or upheld, defied or manipulated. By act 3, we see our characters willing to defy these systems, to end cycles of violence and trust in ‘the promise of tomorrow.’

But in the smog of the conflict, everything seems grey.

[utilitycaster]

I kinda felt disappointed and kinda disheartening in the discussion surrounded taash being non-binary and people just framing their gender identity discussion as just baby first queer meetup it just I've been out for several years as non-binary and I still don't have access to these kind of outlets I don't know but I guess people forget that everyone journey is different.

and also like it does make sense for taash experience to be like that since its literally their first time exploring new gender identities?

Hey anon! I think that's exactly it - this isn't at all limited to people talking about Taash or the Veilguard fandom (or people who played and didn't like it) but on some level Taash actually seems to me to exactly play out the (explicitly canon scenario) of "what if you felt like something was weird or off about how you experience yourself but didn't know what and it had been going on so long that you'd internalized it and thought it was normal for everyone and this also got caught up with your complicated relationship with your mother and you blew up at your coworker for walking around in a kinda low cut shirt on her own personal time and instead of being like WELL FUCK YOU TOO she was like 'interesting. why are you doing this because I don't think I'm the problem.' " Like, I was on a lot of feminist websites aimed at young women in the early 2000s as a teen and so lesbianism and bisexuality were both talked about a lot but no one was like, bringing up Kate Bornstein and Leslie Feinberg and actual THEORY until college. Like, truly, until maybe 15 years ago, when social media with an anonymous angle started blowing up? You had your gender and sexuality discovery through doing and living and talking to other queer people irl or by finding a library or bookstore that had what you needed, if you even knew what you needed beyond "I'm weird and feel wrong." You had to go to a group. You can literally read Alison Bechdel's account of doing this for lesbianism in the 80s. Taash is actually just acting like someone who can't privately learn all of this from a carrd and has to actually talk to people and take notes. And as for the actual term...you know how people always mock historians for being like "these two people were close friends" and they're like OH MY GOD THEY WERE FRIENDS WHO WANTED TO BE BURIED TOGETHER? Well, have you considered Taash is referred to as nonbinary and has the whole pronouns discussion because if you go with more euphemistic language, again, someone will be like "no this is just representative of gender nonconformity" and call Taash a tomboy.

I don't want to derail the above but I do feel a lot of people online, especially who have been on social media from a very young age, just...struggle to comprehend the following three things to a degree I find worrying.

perspectives, opinions, and experiences that are different than yours are good things to experience regularly; you should expand your mind and comfort zone

representation does not mean "people who had the same exact experience with the same exact outcomes as you for the same exact gender/sexuality/race/ethnicity/gender" and is just as much to show people not of those demographics the inner life of characters who are

You do not need to like a character as a person to find them interesting or well-written/acted.

and i feel a lot of weirdness towards Taash coming from people who are nb or queer themselves lands in those categories.

[ghostycritter]

Post Chatter Silence ☆

Context - Silence in between small talk is a happening that's gifted upon acquaintance upon acquaintance. Due to hesitation between topics similar to a sailboat with no wind— a boat with no motor is a raft. How would you and your 'acquaintance' handle the unspoken moment that is transitional silence?

Characters - Wolfgang Akire, Grace Madison, Ulysses Wilhelm, Mark 'Mayhem' Berskii

Warnings - none

A/N - Mb if Grace is OOC, I liked her writing better during chap 0 so i based it off that. Idk why... don't come @ me but chap 0 Grace on top!!!

Masterlist (✧) P:EG Masterlist

[🐑] Wolfgang Akire -

Silence remains a law that's inevitable. Simply a slope that none could get out of— especially during times where you'd strike up an idle conversation.

Chatter becomes a temporary solution towards lull. Even so, you attempted to initiate chit-chat with the Ultimate Lawyer. It feels reckless to construct such casual words in the presence of a very prestigious man. However, his soft spoken nature churned the mood to a sensual lightheartedness. Imbuing it with a warm and intimate stimuli that made you feel strange.

Butterflies — that's the scientific term to describe that tingling feeling in your gut when he'd respond to your little inquiries. Despite the guarantee of him having these types of discussions an uncountable amount of times— He made the current one you both reciprocated feel special.

His replies would always feel thoughtful. It was never generic or vague, the responses were made for *you*. His words were a gentle reminder that your sentences were invaluable. You wonder if everybody felt this way when he'd commence a conversation like this, or if this was something special.

The exchange dissolved into an unresolved mute. Just as you expected. Although, it didn't feel uncomfortable, definitely not the quiet you dread. In fact, the silence was welcoming. As though you shouldn't feel burdened by the lack of reaction, instead you should let go of the interaction.

The mute stretched between you both. Unbroken until Wolfgang glances back at you.

"You're pleasant to chat with, Ms/Mx/Mr [Surname]." His smooth voice is soft yet so determined.

A spark in his eyes spoke for himself, the glimmer told you what his words did not:

He'd love to talk again.

[🐰] Grace Madison -

Silence remains a law that's inevitable. Simply a slope that none could get out of— especially during times where you'd strike up an idle conversation.

Striking a chat with *the* Ultimate Golfer was a gamble. Disclose something mindless or uncultural you would get met with a verbal bash to the face. Yet, despite the topic being surrounded regarding the unbelievably difficult industry— you still got a marvelous chuckle having a chat with her.

It's challenging for you to commit a reply to Grace. She's so swift and unstoppable with her words, a few drops of your head giving her a nod is enough signal to let her continue her harsh sentences.

"...So, what about you?" Her question was like she crafted a new full-stop to the conversation.

The unexpected question caught you off-guard. Unsure of what to respond with. What could you say? Did you have any struggle regarding the industry? You gifted yourself a halt to brainstorm her question. Eventually, enough thoughts form a coherent feedback.

For the first time, you had the freedom to express how you felt. But your nervousness got the best of you— desaturating your sentence to a more anticlimactic anecdote.

"Exactly what I expect! We both can't catch a break, can we?" You felt a thrilling astonishment bubble within you. Grace relates! Her engaging comment ignited a conclusion in you:

She cared for your input.

With that, the noise withdrawal. Leaving you both in a silent trance. You expect for it to be broken by one of her lines, but no attempt was made to do so. Rather, you both sat in the basking lull. Still, you expect her to strike, like a pounce from a predator to a prey. You never expected such a sentence—

"You know what? You're pretty sensible."

That was the nicest thing she had ever said.

[🦉] Ulysses Wilhelm -

Silence remains a law that's inevitable. Simply a slope that none could get out of— especially during times where you'd strike up an idle conversation.

You found yourself having a conversation with none other than the insomniac Ultimate Historian. It was a rare privilege, like conversing with a living history book in front of you. Every single word that escaped your mouth was a scribble etched to the pages of his journal. It was a natural habit for him to record his entire daily interactions, however it gave him no time to give you full responses.

Your conversation unfolded on a superficial level. Yet, Ulysses paid extreme attention to what you have to input to the casual talk, making it feel as if it's more significant.

The conversation traveled at a comfortable pace. You both— or rather you only— is now on the subject of your recent accomplishments that earned you a place at the academy. As the explanation spilled out of your mouth, similar to what you rehearsed to what to tell friends and relatives; Ulysses spoke up, pausing his quill equipped hand.

He revises his notes, the silence overpowering the moment. You felt still. It was such a contrast from how much you talked about and now suddenly you were quiet. The silence was obvious, the words no longer formed in your mouth. You felt burdened from chattering too much, you fear it etched a high-ego image on your person. 

"Would you please elaborate on the event part? I'd love to know more." A spark of interest glittered his steady, indifferent tone.

As each word came to be his question. It felt like your talent was renewed and celebrated in a different perspective. He wanted you to clarify further!

You continued your explanation, offering him the vivid details of how your contributions during this 'event' came to be. As you finished up your story, he seemed to still be jotting down the specifics of your anecdote.

He lets out a yawn as he deliberately dotted the tip of the quill onto the parchment insinuating a period.

"That was interesting." He briefly commented.

[🐊] Mark 'Mayhem' Berskii

Silence remains a law that's inevitable. Simply a slope that none could get out of— especially during times where you'd strike up an idle conversation.

It's an ambitious challenge to converse with the Ultimate Music Producer. To say the least, he's extremely aloof, nearly impossible to approach. His distant demeanour made him tough to converse with. However, it's difficult to imagine how you even got into this situation.

Small talk was futile. Idle chats didn't work on Mark. He did not seem to be fazed by anything you attempted to say to spark up a chat between you both— you'd always be met with an unyielding silence.

Finally, you take matters into your own hands and start to introduce yourself.

Mark didn't seem too interested by your rant, your efforts seemed to be brushed off the more you tried. The only responses are stares— glares, in fact. It's obviously shown that he limits his interactions as much as possible.

You said one last conversation starter. He just gave you a small nod. The bare minimum of a response.

A heavy sigh escaped you. You aren't irritated, rather tired. At least you tried, a nod from Mark Berskii himself? That's well enough for you.

You continued with a subtle end to the conversation, not wanting to push him further. Probably for the best, but you didn't feel too pleased.

"What's your talent again?"

His voice was just as aloof as he is. There was no insinuation of welcome, but you'd gladly answer.

It was hard to believe that was Mark. A small humble smile graces your face as you respond with your talent.

A sentence from Mark Berskii himself?  That's surely something worth celebrating!

[ynnxbun]

arcane life series au:

ok so i got a super good au idea; combining my 2 fandoms that have been rotating in my brain to fuel myself </3

arcane au with all the lifers coming from either topside or the undercity, shimmer and hextech are still present in the storyline tho (note this will be it’s own universe so not all plot points will be included in this au nor will lifers be placeholders for the arcane characters tho there will some parallels!)

NOW ON TO CHARACTERS: ( this will NOT represent their personality in the story, more of their role in the au)

Vi: Grian (main character duh)

Jinx: Joel (get it cuz their names both start with J?? haha.. ok ill shut up)

Caitlyn: Mumbo (he gives me goody goody vibes so…)

Ekko: Etho/echo (found it funny lol)

Jimmy: ???

Lizzie: ??? (their both important)

viktor: Martyn

Jayce: Ren (treebark fans are in for a wild ride..)

Mel: Gem

Ambessa: Cleo

Slico/Sky: Scott (u’ll see why soon)

sevika: Pearl

Scar: BDubs (you would think Scar would be scar tho hehee)

Tango: ???

Scar: ???

Singed: Bigb (his important)

impulse: ???

Skizz: ???

Ok now we can go onto factions!! ill be breaking them into people from undercity and topside and then into their respective grps(lifers who do not fall into any category will be put in others

UNDERCITY/THE CITY OF ZAUN:

Etho/Echo, Bdubs, Tango, Scar.. (Firelights, Etho is the leader with bdubs as his lieutenant)

Impulse and Skizz (Impskizz bandits)

Joel/Jinx (wanted criminal in piltover, beloved in the undercity)

Scott and pearl (run the city of zaun)

Grian (was in jail for 7 years, got bailed out by mumbo, joel/jinx and jimmy are his siblings)

BigB (genius madman, runs the shimmer production, on good terms with pearl)

Jimmy (….?)

Lizzie/shadow lady (……….)

TOPSIDE/PILTOVER:

Ren and Martyn (the inventors of hextech/treebark, they were engaged for a short period of time..)

Mumbo (also an inventor, created many machines and also helped a bit with the management of piltover, great with guns)

Gem (a council member, recently became a mage and has been trying to master it, was one of the few people to have faith in hextech)

OTHERS:

Cleo (a warrior, led many wars in their prime years, they are gem’s guardian)

This au has been all ive been thinking about and i just really want to share my thoughts on it and hear yours! I will make some Fanart of this au that’s certain tho it will take some time as im revising for a test coming up lol. Let me know your thoughts! and questions on this au are very welcomed so please send them in my askbox <33

[fynnlink]

Personal opinions aside your first post claimed that none of these points were explained which is simply untrue. They may not have been explained as in depth as one would like but we have been given answers.

It may not be too specific but still an answer was provided. And the series literally points out again and again that no witness of or account of history is objective. We literally just found out that the Human Kingdoms weren't barren but exploited until they lost all magic which was then hidden from history to sway the future humans' opinion of Xadia. Neither Aaravos nor any character is a truly reliable narrator.

With the line he won't fall for that trap twice he literally confirmed that he did in fact fall for it at one point. And fighting four Arch dragons at their prime (and potentially a few powerful mages) would be difficult even for Aaravos.

Also we don't see in depth how Xadia managed to exspell ALL humans but we get a stylised montage explaining it back then we also just had an unreliable narrator (Aaravos) explaining it and were only given vital context later. The Series literally "show don't tells" us this with the S1 and S3 intro reframing the fight between Ziard and Sol Regem.

Again you never specified anything regarding what you consider obvious or not and asked about what his "beef" with Sol Regem was and despite it being "obvious" the answer is that Aaravos' side of the conflict began with Sol Regem telling the C.O. about Leola. There doesn't have to be any other reason for it. The nature and full extend of Aaravos taking revenge on SR hasn't been explored but the reason has been given. Aaravos manipulated SR both by everything with Karim's part of the Sunfire plotline and before that with stoking the conflict between humans and elves and especially against the dragons to lead tensions to a point where SR in his blind (figuratively) and aggressive fury would also harm someone he cares for. Sol Regem is impulsive, vindictive and prone to outbursts of anger which literally leads to him charging head on towards the dark mage he just provoked by threatening to murder innocents. And while I do find it interesting and would like their history to be explored further this series isn't primarily focused on the specifics of the past but about how it impacts the present and future.

Sidenote Zubeia didn't "allow" Avizandum to imprison Aaravos she actively contributed. The betrayal comes from the Archdragons trapping and outsmarting Aaravos, who it is important to note is also not a reliable source and who and what he deems a "Traitor" or "Betrayal" isn't objective.

I'm not disagreeing with the want to see these stories explored further but we know the Orphan Queen was involved with and literally present and participating in Aaravos' imprisonment, that she found the KoA and probably kept it as it went to Katolis with her, that she may have been involved in the Mage wars and that she went on to become Ezran's ancestor (again that's the answers we have so far no matter how unspecific they may be)

Again you never said what was obvious to you. I don't know you so I can't know whether or not you know this stuff so I explained parts of it.

No the Staff has never been confirmed to be stolen so "taken" is a better term for it. But the staff is missing from the zenith point of the Starscraper. As to Ziard getting it from Aaravos who else could he have gotten it from as no other Startouch Elf was active during this time or at least not trying to assist humanity and Ziard is literally depicted as one of the pawns/chess like pieces of Aaravos (like Callum, Claudia and Viren)[1], Ziard also bows to him after returning from the In-Between. Also they are obviously setting up Elarion as the next focus point with even the Key of Aaravos leading there. (My working theory is that Aaravos and Leola's home was close to where Elarion would one day be founded and may still be there.) And it's literally built on the banks of the Sea of the Castout so of course Aaravos is a relevant figure. (But yes, the poem hasn't been explained further yet)

The reflection in the Sea of the Castout is what first leads "the wisest among [the humans]" (which was probably Ziard at that time with how Aaravos likes to flatter Mages he tries to convince) to "imagine what such power would feel like in his own hands, should he be allowed to hold it." Thus leading to the humans exploring magic -> dark magic.

There is no need to remind me but the writers setting up a continuation or sequel was obvious so they could get interest for said follow up. But the core plot of the series has more or less been resolved especially with the founding of Evrkynd.

And the driving force behind Aaravos' actions, the most important parts of his history, his goals and his character have been explored compared to Aaravos in Seasons 1-3 the "Mystery" of Aaravos has been lifted. He's no longer the "Hand -" -> "Elf in the Mirror" (with half the fandom debating his gender identity)(good times /pos) -> "Aaravos, the probably a Star Elf" -> "Oh it's StarTOUCH Elves" -> "Let's translate these two useful frames of a poem" -> "What the h- is an 'Elarion'?" -> "is he the Elf from the prologue?". We actually know things about him and even back then Act 1 introduced Aaravos and explained he was imprisoned but never got specific or explained why the Archdragons did it. That was all answered in the following Act after a years long hiatus in which it was also uncertain whether we'd get another season. (Blame streaming and profit maximisation) then in this Act we got his backstory and more basic facts about Startouch Elves (their immortality, apparent lack of interest/empathy in the world, their powers, etc)

The original titular mystery surrounding Aaravos has been lifted. Who is he, why is he doing this, what even is he doing. All these questions have been answered.

Also Aaravos was already important and semi-active participant in most of the series from S2/3 onward and again this isn't the end of his/the story even if Netflix decides not to renew the series.

[1] (official and canonical drawing, featuring a figurine of Ziard tipped over and Aaravos' hand reaching for a similar figurine of Viren standing next to one of Callum. All on what looks like a chess board)

Final addendum all mages who have used Dark Magic fall prey to Aaravos' control and no one else's so I makes no sense for Ziard to have been assisted by any other ST-Elf

wait a fucking minute...

We still don't know why and how Aaravos was imprisoned.

And what exactly his beef with Sol Reg and the other archdragons was about.

And what his relationship was with the Orphan Queen.

Oh yeah! And also his relationship with Ziard... and city of Elarion...

DID THEY JUST KILL HIM WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION?

I'M SO PISSED OFF

[thegildedbee]

winter solstice 2024 fic rec

The winter solstice in the northern hemisphere is one of my favorite holidays: Yuletide, the ancient Norse celebration of the arrival and departure of the shortest day and the longest night, as our planet's patterns begin their reversal as part of the natural order. In dark times, it's important to remember that gathering quanta of light are always being regenerated, even if, sometimes, it is hard to spy them out. It's an especially apt occasion to rec a story like this one: in which two characters, who endure separate darknesses, have their worlds gently transformed by a warm, golden radiance rooted in hope and renewal, at the moment they meet: Ache by @finamour [ 2018 / M / 7284 words ]

FinAmour's story begins in London grit and despond, for a drug addict who lives on the streets and a damaged war veteran who lives in suspended animation; both untethered, until they come into each others' lives. It's a sweet and joyful regeneration in many meanings of the term, not least because of the subtle dream-like threads that re-enact the Holmesian legacy. 🌘A Happy (belated) Solstice to you all, and to all a good night!!! ...................................................................... { You can find other Solstice🕯️recs by scrolling down at thegildedbeeloves 💛🐝💛}

@calaisreno  @totallysilvergirl  @friday411  @peanitbear  @original-welovethebeekeeper

@helloliriels  @a-victorian-girl  @keirgreeneyes  @starrla89  @naefelldaurk

@topsyturvy-turtely  @lisbeth-kk  @raina-at  @jobooksncoffee  @meetinginsamarra

@solarmama-plantsareneat  @bluebellofbakerstreet  @dragonnan  @safedistancefrombeingsmart  @jolieblack

@msladysmith  @ninasnakie  @riversong912  @dapetty

[turtleblogatlast]

I love Raph and haven’t said that enough so to be more specific I love that Raph is a soft boy who loves bear plushies, a gross boy who eats an assortment of things that are definitely better left alone, a smart boy who is more than capable of taking down villains through planning and fortitude alike, a strong boy who is dedicated to training his muscles and fighting prowess, a teenage boy who loves his brothers but is more than happy to tease and roughhouse with them, an angry boy who sometimes lets his anger take a hold of him to cover the fear, a gentle boy who is generous with hugs and affirmations to those he loves, a capable boy who takes on more than should ever be expected of a teenager, a good boy who just wants to be a hero and slowly comes to realize the cost of that duty, a good boy who has no reservations about putting himself in the way of harm coming to his family, a good boy who’s a great brother and son and person and deserves only the best the world has to offer.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bestie Deficiency

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[taddymason]

hey, maybe a hot take, but I think the best relationships are the ones where one character isn't just the other's romantic interest, they have more arcs than that, yk