aihpuankelana-blog

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It’s really comforting to think that Jesus dealt with anxiety and loneliness in His life. Even surrounded by followers and Disciples, He still felt alone in the world.

He foresaw all the sins of mankind, all He’d have to atone for through His Passion, and experienced so much anxiety and fear that He sweat drops of blood.

He lost His footing and fell down carrying the Cross. The Stations of the Cross cite three times He fell, but in reality it was far more than that. He needed help from a stranger, and one who, at first, dreaded having to aid Him at that.

He cried out in pain a few times and asked His Father why He had forsaken Him. He felt, even for a moment, a sense of despair and hopelessness.

After what I’ve gone through in the past month, it’s really comforting to think that Jesus felt what I did, He went through the feelings I went through, even as God Incarnate.

No matter what some Christians say, mental illness is not a sin. Anxiety is not “not trusting God enough,” depression is not “a lack of faith.” They are sufferings Christ Himself bore.

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Ottoman Wonder Tales - Translated by Lucy M Garnett Illustrated by Charles Folkard London A&C Black Ltd 1928

Scarce with the original dustjacket after 90 years

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Mengapa dan Bagaimana?

Apa yang kau cari sepanjang jalan?

Memaknai hidup, jawabnya.

Mengapa? Buat apa?

Tak tahu, ibu bilang itu inti dari kehidupan.

Aku ngeri, ingin muntah.

Hanya aku saja yang gerah,

ketika ditanya pak dokter apa yang buatmu gelisah?

Malu. Memang bisa bilang aku tak tahu caranya hidup?

Bagaimana memang orang-orang hidup?

Tak tahu, coba dulu waktu pembagian hidup aku mundur saja.

Bilang pada Tuhan, duh Allah! Kau salah panggil.

Mengapa tak juga Kau turunkan buku petunjuk menjalani hidup?

Puan Kelana, 3 April 2020.