#and now people are just. starting up doing it so casually again.
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hunieday Ā· 3 days ago
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Momo - 16PRODUCERS Rabbit Chat
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Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!
Yuki: Thanks for your hard work
Yuki: Anyone here?
Okazaki Rinto: Youā€™re early, Yuki-kun!? Iā€™m here!
Yuki: Okarin, youā€™re online. Yuki here
Okazaki Rinto: Yeah, I know. Thereā€™s still time before the interview though...
Yuki: Thatā€™s true, but todayā€™s an important interview day and I finished composing, so I thought Iā€™d camp here early.
Okazaki Rinto: How wonderful. Momo-kun will be thrilled when he reads this!
Yuki: Yeah, whoā€™s the star of the show today after all? Are you at the recording booth with him?
Okazaki Rinto: Actually, the recording ran longer than scheduled so Momo-kun should be back to the dressing room right around the interview time!
Yuki: Is that so. So itā€™s just the two of us for now.
Yuki: So what should we talk about until heā€™s back. Shall we have a competition to list what we find the cutest about Momo?
Okazaki Rinto: Thereā€™s no way Iā€™m winning that. Letā€™s talk about what we like about you instead!
Yuki: Are you doing a bit
Okazaki Rinto: Momo-kun himself actually suggested it. He said "Thereā€™s a chance Iā€™m gonna be late, you two can just talk about how super handsome Yuki is!"
Yuki: We thought the same thing.
Okazaki Rinto: Iā€™ll start with my opinion! You used to say you werenā€™t good with people, but now youā€™re so approachable itā€™s amazing!
Yuki: Thanks. Do I have to say something too?
Yuki: I can write music
Okazaki Rinto: Next! I also think youā€™re an incredible actor. I feel so proud seeing you soar even beyond the idol world!
Yuki: Thank you. More new rivals keep popping up, so I canā€™t slack off anymore.
Yuki: Nowā€™s my turn
Yuki: Now Iā€™m out
Okazaki Rinto: Thatā€™s it!?
Yuki: Thatā€™s it
Momo: You barely scratched the surface!?!?!?
Yuki: Here comes Momo
Momo: Here comes Momo-chan!! Sorry for making you two wait šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ I couldnā€™t stop smiling reading all the rabbichat notifications šŸ„°
Momo: But really, just three or four points donā€™t even compare in the sea of Yukiā€™s charm!?!?!?!? Like, his beauty mark is beyond handsome, the way he looks at me with such intensity makes me fall in love all over again. Heā€™s so beautiful from the tip of his fingers to every strand of his hair?!?!?!?
Momo: And the way he calls me his ā€œprecious partnerā€ is just too handsomeā€¦!!!
Yuki: You type really fast, Momo.
Momo: Lightning fast!!!!!
Yuki: I appreciate you saying all that, but today is all about you, Momo.
Momo: Thatā€™s trueee~
Momo: Youā€™re gonna share,,,, what feelings you poured into producing my project right,,,,,,,,
Momo: aaaaaaaaaghhh can my heart even handle this ā€¼ Yuki, Okarin, please take it easy on me ā€¼
Yuki: Iā€™ll be gentle.
Okazaki Rinto: Letā€™s get started! As requested, weā€™re aiming for a casual, relaxed vibe for this interview, as if youā€™re not even working. So we decided to do it over rabbichat!
Okazaki Rinto: First off, Momo-kun! Please tell us how you felt when you found out Yuki-kunā€™s gonna produce your song!
Momo: Hmm...he usually composes for Re:vale as a whole, but he did it just for me this time. To think that he created not just the song but also the lyrics, costumes, and the whole concept...I feel so lucky itā€™s almost too much to believe.
Momo: The person Iā€™ve admired for so long brings me so much happiness now. I want to take that a hundred, a thousand times and deliver it back to all my fans.
Momo: Wait a sec is this real? Iā€™m not dreaming, right?
Okazaki Rinto: Donā€™t pinch your cheeks so hard, Momo-kun!
Yuki: Itā€™s real, Momo.
Momo: It is...
Momo: This is so special to me that it always felt like a dream! I mean, just singing with Yuki already makes me so happy, but I didnā€™t know there was even a possibility to ascend to another level of happiness.
Yuki: Iā€™m just as grateful for the opportunity to focus on a project entirely for you, Momo.
Momo: Yukiiiiii~
Momo: Wait a sec, how come my darling is the most handsome guy in the world !?!? šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Yuki: I know. So what did you think when you heard the song?
Momo: It was so cool... I thought itā€™d be more cutesy
Momo: But it was completely different! And it has this super stylish dance number, I could picture us dancing together the moment I listened to the airy melody.
Momo: Even though we sing in a high pitch, the deep bass was so powerful, I love it soooooooo muchā€¦
Yuki: Iā€™m happy
Yuki: I wanted to capture all your different sides
Okazaki Rinto: Interestingā€¦! Iā€™d love to hear more about your creative process!
Yuki: You could say itā€™s about Momoā€™s ā€œswitchesā€, in a way. A switch for when heā€™s singing, when heā€™s performing.
Yuki: A switch for when heā€™s pressing close to my side, thinking about lyrics to write. Working earnestly and wholeheartedly.
Yuki: Theyā€™re all different switches within Momo. It all shifts. The gap between them all is intriguing.
Momo: My ā€œswitchesā€ huh... So thatā€™s how you see me.Ā 
Momo: Youā€™re right though, I do change depending on the person or situation without even realizing. The gap between the melody and the high pitch reflect that.
Momo: And the electronic sounds are supposed to represent little switches, right? Thatā€™s just like you, itā€™s fascinating!!!!
Yuki: Thank you. It was challenging since I wasnā€™t allowed to compose the entire thing myself, but it was worth it.
Momo: And the lyrics moved me deeply. I could feel your message of wanting to face the future together, and to keep singing for an eternity and beyond.
Yuki: Thatā€™s right. This song is for you, who pulled me forward and shone your light upon me that day.
Momo: Thatā€™s because
Momo: Yukiā€™s music gave me the push I needed back then
Momo: So thatā€™s why I
Yuki: Momo. You always say youā€™re thankful to me but
Yuki: "Beneath the countless stars, I can reach anywhere as long as Iā€™m with you." Being with you lets me sing anywhere, Momo.
Yuki: Just like that day we sang together on the sandy beach of a deserted island, the place where you and I sing, the place where Re:vale is, will always be the best stage ever. (1)
Okazaki Rinto: Momo-kunā€™s crying.
Yuki: Donā€™t shed tears when I canā€™t be with you to wipe them.
Momo: Wh
Momo: Whoa stop stop stop stop hold up wasnā€™t that way too smooth?!?! That line was so hot my tears stopped on their own!?
Yuki: Hello, itā€™s me, the handsome Yuki.
Momo: Kyaaaa!! Please look my wayyy!! šŸ¤©āœØ
Yuki: Yep. Iā€™m looking straight at my phone.
Momo: lolololol thanks! I totally feel your eyes on me šŸ¤©āœØ
Okazaki Rinto: Alright, Iā€™m sorry but letā€™s get back on track. Iā€™d love to hear about the concept behind your outfits and promo shoots!
Momo: Iā€™m so excited to hear about it! I was hyped the moment I walked into the room for the photoshoot! It looked exactly like a gaming room šŸŽ®
Yuki: The song doesnā€™t fit an outdoor setting. I felt like even indoors would still be too bright, so I went for a moody, neon-lit setup the moment I found out something like that existed.
Yuki: It was perfect for Momo since he loves gaming, but the gentle neon light reflecting in the dark felt especially very Momo-like to me
Momo: Iā€™m so happy!!!! I really do love those kinds of lights toooo~~ I see how it is, hehe~~~~
Okazaki Rinto: Yuki-kun, your idea of what ā€œfeels Momo-likeā€ is always very diverse.
Yuki: Is it? I think itā€™s normal
Momo: And donā€™t forget the outfits, I loved them so much >u< Yuki doesnā€™t usually wear clothes in that style so I snapped a ton of photos of him!
Yuki: I thought we might as well embrace the Momo vibe for this shoot too. We even took tons of pictures together.
Momo: Yup! We were dressed like Player 1 and Player 2! šŸŖ„
Yuki: It's been fun trying a style I donā€™t normally wear
Momo: You looked amazing!! šŸ˜ šŸ’š Why donā€™t you start wearing clothes like that more often?!
Yuki: Then how about we try some different combinations next time? (2)Ā 
Momo: Huh?! W-w-ww-w-ww-we donā€™t have to go that far!!!!!!!!!???
Yuki: Why not? Matching outfits always have a wide variety
Momo: Huh!!!!!!!!!! Okarin !!!!!!!! What do I do !!!!!!!! Work is one thing, but a private setting is totally different?!?!?!?!?!
Okazaki Rinto: I find it funny that youā€™re typing what youā€™re muttering in real life, LOL.
Yuki: How nice. I wanna be there too
Momo: You have work after this right? so Momo-chan will wait for you to finish!!
Yuki: Yeah. Thank you
Okazaki Rinto: The request was to make this a more relaxed conversation, but you might be a bit too relaxed right now, or maybe youā€™re just acting like you always areā€¦.
Yuki: Is that a problem? Itā€™s fine, right, Momo?
Momo: Right, Yuki! šŸ«¶
Okazaki Rinto: Thatā€™s right! Itā€™s totally fine! And finally, please share a message for the fans!
Yuki: This new direction may surprise some fans, but from where I stand, Momo is strong, gentle, and full of warmth. Just like a sunrise that blends the dark and light, heā€™s a mix of many wonderful qualities.
Yuki: Thatā€™s why the song plays tricks with a variety of rhythms, melodies and singing tones. They reflect Momoā€™s ever-changing expressions. I hope you enjoy ā€œGet in the Groove.ā€
Momo: I always spend every day thinking about how happy I am ever since Yuki and I became Re:vale. Sometimes so much so that I wish time could stop.
Momo: But you know, listening to ā€œGet in the Grooveā€ made me feel even happier! I know this project was born all thanks to our fansā€™ unwavering support. Thank you so much!!! I feel like the happiest person alive right now!
Momo: And thatā€™s why I want everyone who supports us to feel as happy as I do, always and forever! I hope that you never get your feelings hurt! And if sadness ever comes your way, I hope our songs will be able to heal you!
Momo: Re:vale will always be a warm light, shining on everyone like the sun that rises each morning. Now and forever, with Yuki by my side!
Momo: Thatā€™s all I got!
Okazaki Rinto: Thank you both! This was Re:vale in full force!
Momo: Yup! I feel Yukiā€™s love overflowing more than usual šŸ„¹ā¤
Yuki: Really? Iā€™m not really good with words
Momo: Well no, youā€™ve gotten dangerously much better at that recently!!??!!!
Okazaki Rinto: Itā€™s hard to believe you once had to practice saying stuff like this.
Yuki: Yeah, that sure did happen.
Yuki: Momo, promise me youā€™ll keep smiling by my side now and forever
Momo: Yeah. I promise!!
For those who are confused, the sandy beach of a deserted island refers to a specific plot point in part 5 of the main story.
I. am frankly not entirely sure how to interpret this. Because judging by Momoā€™s reaction I believe Yuki was Most Definitely Not insinuating an actual change of color combinations but. A Different Kind of ā€œcombinationsā€.Ā 
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puck-luck Ā· 3 days ago
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Ooh omg congrats on the 1K!!
I would like to request 5 of clubs with Jack Hughes please. (Maybe with an exhibition kink šŸ™ˆ)
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This isn't quite as clubs-like or exhibitionist, but I've been feeling slightly out of the mood today (I think because I had to make a lesson about the American relationship with Native Americans during colonization... not the most uplifting topic). Hoping for something better tomorrow!
Also I'm watching a 2.5 hour video essay about One Direction's history right now. I love that people can make whatever content they want, and they usually give it their all :)
after typing that i'm realizing that statement is really meta since i'm writing nhl fanfic. sigh. ok fine i guess i enjoy my own content whatever
Warnings: fingering, exhibition, Paul Mescal in Gladiator II WC: 592
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Youā€™ve never been one to keep trivial secrets from Jack. Heā€™s your boyfriend and you are thoroughly against miscommunication. Your openness has resulted in plenty of fun jokes for Jack, the latest of which has landed you in your current predicament. Youā€™re in the bougie movie theater that Jack always splurges on, sitting in a plush recliner and watching Gladiator II. Jack thought this would be a fun date night, becauseā€“ wellā€“ you love Paul Mescal.Ā 
Itā€™s something about his nose. Itā€™s very Roman, which you find sexy. Jack knows this, and knows that youā€™ve particularly enjoyed the costume design of the film, even joking with you about dressing up like a gladiator for Halloween.Ā 
He hadnā€™t mentioned it again until this morning, which is when he told you that heā€™d bought some tickets for the film. It had actually been out for a while now, so the theater is relatively empty, but youā€™d never had the time to see the movie. Jack, after all, had wanted to see it with youā€¦ probably because he wanted to pull something like this.
He knows that Paul Mescal is your celebrity crush. Youā€™ve been repeating that to yourself since you realized that itā€™s the motivation behind Jackā€™s movements. His touch had been casual at first, just tapping his fingers against your thigh. Heā€™d convinced you to wear a skirt by claiming youā€™d be going to dinner afterward. You expect that his real reason is that he wanted easy access.
His fingers are inside of you now, petting over your walls. Heā€™s teasing you, moving slowly when Paul Mescal isnā€™t on screen and thrusting into you at a quicker pace when your crush graces your vision with his presence. Jack also particularly likes drawing circles over your clit as he moves inside you, constantly keeping you on the edge.
ā€œJack,ā€ you hiss, ready to try and convince him to stop, even though you only half-want his movements to cease. Youā€™re flushing a bit, eyes darting around the theater to make sure no one is watching you. There are only a few other groups in the theater: another couple two rows ahead, a group of university-aged girls near the middle of the theater, two middle aged women in the front row. All in all, there are less than fifteen people in this theater.Ā 
ā€œBe quiet, baby. I canā€™t have everyone hearing you,ā€ Jack murmurs. He shoves a handful of popcorn into his mouth, continuing his movements. Heā€™s acting completely normal, even as your cunt squeezes him tight.Ā 
You bring your hand down and clutch his wrist, trying to halt his movements.Ā 
Jack turns to you. ā€œDo you really want me to stop?ā€ He asks quietly. Paul Mescal starts speaking on the screen and Jackā€™s eyes flicker away from you to check the screen. His thumb increases its pace against your clit and his fingers flex rapidly inside of you.Ā 
You whimper a bit, clenching down involuntarily. Your knuckles turn white while your fingers grip his arm. Your hips jolt.
Jack quirks an eyebrow.Ā 
ā€œNo,ā€ you admit, loosening your grip and allowing him to continue.Ā 
ā€œJust pay attention to Paul,ā€ Jack encourages, smirking at you and brushing a kiss against your cheek. ā€œIā€™m just here to help you along, baby.ā€
You scoff quietly, cringing a bit at his words.Ā 
Jack clocks your reaction, his face breaking out in a tiny smile. He giggles to himself, tracing the line of your jaw before mouthing against your throat. ā€œDonā€™t laugh. Weā€™re having fun. You, me, and your other boyfriend.ā€
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rwby-encrusted-blog Ā· 2 days ago
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Reese as a Sea Bunny faunus?
~At a Certain Kind of Establishment
Reese: *Sees jaune* Oh, you're-
Velvet: Hello Sir! Are you having a good time?
Jaune: Uh, Pardon? Well .. Yeah!
Reese: Heh ...
Reese: *Walking over to Jaune and Velvet* Leave this to me! you can help someone else!
Velvet: Huh? But ...
Reese: It's alright!
Velvet: Oh- okay ... alright then ...
*Velvet leaves*
Reese: *Turns to Jaune* Are you having a good time
Reese: With another "Bunny" Girl?
Jaune: *Thoroughly intimidated* No! I mean- I- I'm sorry?
Fun Fact! Zelda Wynn Valdes and Latvian ƩmigrƩe designed/tailored the bunny suit to help enhance and show off the figure for the playboy bunny waitresses in the penthouse! However, they didn't take into account that the guest would be in leather armchairs which is lower than a a regular chair that sit at tables which lead to spillage (and not from the drinks) so the bunny dip was a technique to help by leaning back a little slightly bending the knees and serving drinks and/or food behind them.
~Later~
Jaune: I don't understand how people can have preferences between Humans and Faunus ... We're all pretty much the same.
Neptune: ha! you say things like that, people are gonna think you're picking a fight!
Reese: *Going to serve another customer* Oh hey!
Jaune: *Blushing*
Reese: You're back again! Good to see you! Have fun!
Jaune: Y-Yeah! haha ...
Jaune: *Ahem* L-like I was saying I don't understand why people have preferences ...
Neptune: ... Face the facts man.
Sea Bunnies, or Jorunna Parva, have a set of organs resembling Lagomorphic ears near their 'face.' However, they are not hearing organs, but more akin to Scent organs. Their "tails" are external gills.
~~~~~
Jaune: Hey! Excuse me, are you Miss bunnygirl?
Reese: *beginning to run away* Sorry! You've mistaken me for someone else!
Jaune: Wait! !ou might fall if you suddenly-
Reese: *thud* Ouch!
Jaune: ... Run.
Jaune: *Helping her up* Hey, are you alright? Why did you start running?
Reese: Well, i'm ... not used to getting recognized in casual clothes ...
Jaune: ...? But I usually see you in a bunny suit though?
Reese: There's a separation between work and normal life.
Jaune: ... I'm Jaune by the way. It's nice to officially meet you.
Reese: ... you can call me Reese.
Sea Bunnies come in many colors, but all of them are covered in dark-tipped papillae.
~~~~~
Reese: Hey, how about a game? Whoever loses has to grant the other persona wish!
Jaune: Uh, Okay!
Reese: Rock! Paper! Scissors! Shoot!
Jaune: *Throws paper* ...
Jaune: Reese? Why didn't you extend your hand?
Reese: *Slowly raises her fist* Oh No~ I lost. It seems I'll have to grant you a wish~
Jaune: ... Did you lose on pur-
Reese: NO! Of course not!
Sea bunnies prey on Toxic Sponges. Some of these Toxins are used in Cancer Treatments.
~~~~~
Jaune: *carrying groceries for Reese* You're cute when you're not working Reese!
Reese: Ah ... Really?
~At her apartment~
Jaune: So do I just set these here, or- WHEN DID YOU CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES?
Reese: *in her bunny suit* You said I was cute? *Slams apartment door shut* Right?
Reese: As of right now, I will be working~
Jaune: W-WaiT!
Sea Bunnies are hermaphrodites. when mating, the pair will interlock their genitalia and exchange sperm.
~~~~~
Reese: *Serving Jaune a Drink*
*CLICK*
Reese: Huh?
Jaune: Ah! Aw, the power went out! Hang on, Ill get the
Announcement: Attention dear Customers, there seems to be an issue with the electricity. Please be patient while we fix it.
Jaune: ... I'll ... Turn the flashlight on on my phone- I left it on the table somewhere ...
Reese: Here, let me help look for it to-
*Gentle Squish*
Reese: Uwah!
Jaune: Ah! What happened?
*CLICK*
Jaune: Oh! The lights are back!
Reese: *Holding her hands to her chest*
Jaune: Huh? What's wrong?
Reese: *Blushing against her anger* Patrons Are not allowed to touch the girls at the bar!
Jaune: What Happened?!?
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passengerprincessblog Ā· 15 hours ago
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ā€œOff Trackā€ - pt 6 Franco x Reader
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Summary: As Y/Nā€™s guilt grows heavier, her attempts to balance her feelings for both Lewis and Franco spiral out of control. A tense encounter at the Vegas circuit leaves Lewis suspicious and possessive, while Francoā€™s presence only fuels the fire.
It had been a few days since I last texted Franco. Iā€™d been avoiding it on purpose, partly to manage my own guilt, partly because I knew I was slipping into dangerous territory. The guilt sat heavy in my chest, mingling with confusion and that thrill I couldnā€™t shake. What kind of person was I, cheating on Lewisā€”Lewis, of all people? He was one of the most accomplished, disciplined, and admired men on the planet, and he loved me. And yetā€¦ I couldnā€™t get Franco out of my mind.
Heā€™d texted me a few times, little messages that I hadnā€™t replied to.
ā€œHey, what are you doing?ā€
ā€œAre you okay?ā€
ā€œLook, if I did something wrong, please tell me.ā€
Each time, Iā€™d felt a pang of guilt, tempted to reply but holding back. I knew Franco hadnā€™t done anything wrong; it was me who was tangled in my own emotions, who couldnā€™t let go of this secret, forbidden connection we shared.
Now, here I was in Vegas for race week, a city that hummed with energy and excitement. It was the perfect distraction, the perfect place to bury all my complicated feelings. Lewis had us checked into an opulent hotel suite, and Iā€™d been surprised by how affectionate heā€™d been, almost overwhelming me with his attention. So much sex, intimacy, so many moments where he seemed to be trying to rekindle whatever spark he felt was slipping between us. And as much as I tried to reciprocate, part of me couldnā€™t stop thinking about Franco.
Today was Thursday, the calm before the chaos, with only the drivers and team members milling around the circuit before the crowds arrived. I found myself in the Mercedes hospitality area, chatting with a couple of women from the media, trying to keep up with the light conversation while sipping on my cappuccino. It was nice, a little taste of normalcy amidst all the jet-setting and high-stakes events that had come to define my life.
Then, my phone buzzed.
I glanced down, trying to hide my reaction as my stomach flipped with excitement. Franco.
ā€œHermosa, please tell me you are here?ā€
A smile crept onto my face, and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. Whatā€™s wrong with me? I scolded myself, forcing myself to stay composed with the others around. But I couldnā€™t resist. I quickly typed back.
ā€œYes, I am.ā€
His reply was almost instant.
ā€œWhere are you? Can we talk?ā€
I looked around, subtly checking my surroundings as I felt my heart beat faster. Could I really slip away? The thrill of it all bubbled up again, pushing aside the guilt. I responded without thinking.
ā€œYes. I can come to you. Where are you?ā€
ā€œIā€™m in my driverā€™s room.ā€
ā€œOkay, Iā€™ll be there soon.ā€ I hit send, tucking my phone away as I stood up, trying to keep my expression neutral.
ā€œIā€™ll be back in a bit,ā€ I said to the girls. They nodded, barely noticing as they continued their conversation.
I made my way out of the Mercedes area, a slight skip in my step as I imagined seeing him again. It was ridiculous, the way he could make me feel like a schoolgirl with a crush, completely giddy and oblivious to the world around me. I turned a corner, lost in thought, and nearly collided with a solid wall of muscleā€”Lewis.
ā€œOhā€¦ sorry,ā€ I stammered, slightly taken aback.
He gave me a curious look, his gaze sweeping over me, taking in the cheerfulness I couldnā€™t quite hide. ā€œItā€™s okay, angel,ā€ he said, smiling, though there was something searching in his eyes. ā€œYou just canā€™t get enough of me, huh?ā€
I forced a laugh, trying to sound casual, and started to step around him, but he turned, keeping pace with me. ā€œWhere are you going?ā€ he asked, his tone light, but with a hint of something else underneath. ā€œI was just coming to get you, silly.ā€
ā€œOh?ā€ I said, slowing my pace, my mind racing as I tried to come up with an excuse. How am I going to get out of this?
ā€œYes,ā€ he teased, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he started steering me in the opposite direction of Francoā€™s driverā€™s room. ā€œI wanted some special Y/N time.ā€
I groaned softly. ā€œLewisā€¦ I wanted to goā€”ā€
ā€œGo? Do what?ā€ He stopped, turning to look at me with a raised eyebrow, his eyes narrowing slightly.
I felt my mind go blank. Think of something. ā€œI was going toā€¦ likeā€¦ you knowā€¦ say hi to everyone.ā€ The words came out awkwardly, and I mentally cringed. Thatā€™s what I came up with?
He tilted his head, his expression a mixture of amusement and suspicion. ā€œEveryone? Whoā€™s ā€˜everyoneā€™?ā€ he asked, sounding a little annoyed. ā€œYou donā€™t need to.ā€
I bit my lip, trying to think of a way to recover. ā€œI was just going to say hi to Franco really quick.ā€ The words slipped out before I could stop them, and I immediately regretted it.
ā€œFranco?ā€ he repeated, his tone tinged with confusion, as though he couldnā€™t fathom why Iā€™d want to see him.
ā€œBabeā€¦ Franco can wait,ā€ he said firmly, tugging me gently down the hall toward his driverā€™s room.
ā€œButā€”ā€ I began, only to be interrupted by Toto, who approached us from the other end of the hallway.
ā€œY/N, keeping Lewis happy I see. Thank you,ā€ Toto joked, giving me a friendly smile.
I laughed lightly, thankful for the distraction.
ā€œLewis, I need to talk to you quickly,ā€ Toto said, nodding to him.
Lewis hesitated, glancing back at me with a look that was equal parts irritation and suspicion. ā€œIā€™ll text you when Iā€™m done, okay?ā€ he said, his tone softening as he turned to follow Toto.
I let out a small sigh of relief as I watched them walk away. Thank you, Toto, I thought to myself, grateful for the chance to slip away unnoticed. I quickly made my way to the Williams area, feeling a giddy excitement bubbling up once again.
The moment he was out of sight, a smile crept back onto my face. I headed down the pit lane, practically floating as I made my way towards Francoā€™s driverā€™s room. When I reached his door, I paused, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. I knocked softly, my heart pounding.
A few mechanics looked in my direction, quickly averting their gaze, and a pang of paranoia shot through me. What if people start talking? What if Lewis hears about this? But before I could worry further, the door opened, and Franco stood there.
Francoā€™s face lit up, his hair slightly messy, his eyes sparkling with that familiar mischief. ā€œYouā€™re very late,ā€ he teased, his accent making the words sound softer, more inviting.
ā€œSorryā€¦ā€ I murmured, smiling shyly as I looked at him, at the lips Iā€™d been dying to kiss.
ā€œCome on, hermosa,ā€ he whispered, taking my hand and pulling me inside, gently closing the door behind us.
I sat down on the couch, trying to control the smile that was threatening to break across my face. Franco watched me, his arms crossed, a playful smirk on his lips.
ā€œYou look happy to see me,ā€ he said, mock-scolding. ā€œEven though you havenā€™t texted me back.ā€
ā€œIā€™m sorryā€¦ I justā€¦ I didnā€™tā€¦ā€ I stammered, not wanting to mention Lewis.
ā€œItā€™s okay. I understand,ā€ he said softly, sitting beside me, his tone forgiving.
We locked eyes, the tension between us thick and undeniable. He reached up, gently brushing a strand of hair from my face, his fingers lingering a bit longer than necessary.
ā€œTe ves muy hermosa hoy,ā€ he murmured, his voice low and warm, his gaze holding mine.
I smiled, unable to help the blush creeping up my cheeks. ā€œThank youā€¦ you look beautiful too,ā€ I teased.
He chuckled, his face warming slightly, and we fell into easy conversation, laughing and enjoying each otherā€™s company. After a few minutes, I found myself confiding in him about my argument with Lewis, the way heā€™d thrown things in my face that made me feel small, undeserving.
Franco listened, his face soft with understanding, but there was a flicker of something elseā€”something like disappointment, as if he were seeing his idol in a different light. He offered sweet, reassuring words, but I could tell that he was quietly hurt to hear about that side of Lewis.
To lighten the mood, he pulled out his laptop, showing me some silly concepts for his race helmet. We laughed together, pointing out the ridiculous designs, and for a moment, I forgot about everything else. But just as I was starting to relax, the door swung open.
It was Lewis.
He stood in the doorway, his gaze sweeping over us, taking in the sight of us laughing together on the couch. There was a tension in his posture, an edge to his expression that made my heart race with anxiety.
ā€œLewis, you should see this,ā€ Franco said quickly, turning his laptop around to show him the designs. Francoā€™s quick thinking saved us, but I could feel Lewisā€™s eyes on me, studying me, suspicion lurking beneath the surface.
He forced a laugh, though it sounded hollow. ā€œThatā€™sā€¦ interesting, I guess. Sure, do it,ā€ he said to Franco, his tone dismissive. But his gaze remained fixed on me, a silent accusation in the intensity of his stare.
Franco, bless him, kept his cool, despite the subtle shift in Lewisā€™s mood. ā€œThanks, Lewis. I think I will,ā€ he said, managing a casual smile. But I could feel the discomfort radiating from him, the tension that now crackled between the three of us, like a storm waiting to break.
Finally, Lewis turned his attention back to me, and his voice softened, but it didnā€™t feel kind. ā€œYou hungry, sweetheart?ā€ His words dripped with an exaggerated sweetness, an extra layer of endearment that made me feel even more anxious. It was almost patronizing.
I nodded, barely able to meet his gaze as I stood up, feeling Francoā€™s eyes on me, almost as if he was silently getting annoyed at Lewis.
Lewis motioned toward the door, his hand resting at the small of my back, guiding me out with a possessive grip that felt more like a statement than affection. ā€œThen letā€™s get you something to eat, my love,ā€ he said, his tone gentle but laced with something darker, as though he were challenging me to argue.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind us, his arm slipped around my waist, pulling me closer. His grip was firmer than usual, his fingers pressing into my side as we walked down the hall.
ā€œI thought I told you to wait in my driverā€™s room?ā€ he murmured, his voice low, a hint of accusation creeping into his tone.
I swallowed, my stomach twisting with anxiety. ā€œNo? You just said youā€™d text me when you were doneā€¦ā€ My voice came out softer than I intended, almost hesitant.
His eyes narrowed, a flicker of irritation crossing his face. ā€œFine. Butā€¦ what the hell was that all about?ā€ His voice was sharp, cutting through the air between us like a knife.
ā€œWhat?ā€ I asked, forcing myself to keep my expression innocent, though my heart was pounding.
He looked at me, his gaze piercing, as though he were trying to see straight through me. ā€œDonā€™t ā€˜whatā€™ me, Y/N. You, sitting there laughing with Franco? Acting allā€¦ giggly?.ā€
I could feel my heart racing, panic clawing at my chest as I tried to think of a way to diffuse the tension. What am I supposed to say? ā€œHe just wanted to show me his helmet designs,ā€ I stammered, shrugging as if it were nothing, forcing a casual tone that didnā€™t quite feel natural.
Lewisā€™s stare didnā€™t waver, his gaze intense as he tried to read every flicker of my expression. ā€œJust donā€™t be in a room alone with him again,ā€ he said, his voice firm, leaving no room for debate. It wasnā€™t a request; it was an order.
His arm tightened around me as we walked toward the Mercedes hospitality area, his grip almost possessive, like he was staking his claim. I could feel the tension rolling off him, the unspoken accusations simmering just beneath the surface. I could barely breathe under the weight of it, the silent message he was sending with every firm step he took.
Oh godā€¦ what am I going to do?
Next time ā€¦..
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kimmie2me Ā· 2 days ago
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# 04. Crossed Lines
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note: hey hey!! sorry for the late chapter!! needed time to write this + a request ill post later!! enjoy!!
.....
After the short interaction wrapped up, you found yourself glancing over at the two other detectives standing beside Midoriya. Both were new faces to you, but the contrast was instantly noticeableā€”Ashido Mina, with her bright eyes and bubblegum hair, radiated an unshakable optimism, while Sero Hantaā€™s casual smile and relaxed posture somehow balanced the energy Bakugouā€™s relentless intensity brought to the room. Midoriya himself, ever the polite one, caught your gaze and offered a small, friendly nod.
You decided that if you were all going to be dealing with a case this serious, a little rapport wouldnā€™t hurt. But the moment you opened your mouth, Bakugouā€™s eyes cut toward you, a warning practically glowing in his glare.
ā€œIs this a damn tea party?ā€ Bakugou barked, arms crossed tightly. ā€œWe got places to be, people. Letā€™s. GO.ā€
ā€œLighten up, Kacchan,ā€ Midoriya replied with a smile that was almost too casual for the tension between him and Bakugou. He pushed up his sleeves, looking genuinely unfazed by Bakugouā€™s attitude. ā€œWeā€™re all working together on this one. And a team thatā€™s familiar with each other works better, right?ā€
Bakugou shot him a glare, muttering something about ā€œwasted timeā€ as he stormed past, but he didnā€™t outright shut you down again, soā€¦ small victories.
ā€œSo, youā€™re the new partner, huh?ā€ Sero asked, flashing a grin as you all walked toward the bullpen. ā€œMust be tough, dealing with Mr. Sunshine over there.ā€
You tried to laugh it off, but the groan slipped out before you could stop it. ā€œYou have no idea. Half the time, I feel like heā€™s about two seconds away from throwing me out of a moving vehicle. Or into a boxing ring.ā€
ā€œOh, trust me,ā€ Mina giggled, leaning in conspiratorially, ā€œheā€™s all barkā€¦ and bite. But he only goes full ā€˜attack modeā€™ if he respects you. Right, Midoriya?ā€
Midoriya, clearly having overheard every word of the conversation, nodded with a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, Kacchan... has a unique way of motivating people. If you can even call it motivation," he added, trailing off as though unsure of how to phrase it. And this was the same guy who'd gotten away with calling Bakugou a semi-affectionate nicknameā€”in public!
You were still processing that when Mina gave you a friendly tap on the shoulder. ā€œSo, donā€™t take it personally if heā€™s a little extra harsh. Youā€™d have to screw up pretty bad for him to really lose it on you.ā€
Sero grinned. ā€œYeah, weā€™ve all been on the receiving end of his ā€˜motivational speeches.ā€™ Right, Midoriya?ā€
Midoriya again nodded, a hint of nervous laughter escaping him. ā€œHeā€™s been like that since high school. But heā€™s a good detective. If you stick around long enough, youā€™ll see why.ā€
Just as you were starting to relax into the conversation, Bakugouā€™s voice sliced through it like a razor. ā€œOi! Enough chitchat. If I wanted a damn pep talk, Iā€™d ask for it.ā€ He shot you a glare, then pointed toward the door. ā€œMove it. Now.ā€
You exchanged quick, sheepish glances with Mina and Sero, who both gave you a silent ā€œgood luckā€ nod as Bakugou led the way out, practically radiating impatience. Even Midoriyaā€™s friendly wave didnā€™t fully shake off the weight of Bakugouā€™s intensity.
As you moved into the hallway with Bakugou just a few steps ahead, you couldnā€™t help but think: that getting to know these new teammates was going to be a marathon in itself. And given Bakugouā€™s lingering glare, you were pretty sure heā€™d do his best to make sure you wouldnā€™t forget it.
.....
The air between you and Bakugou was thick with unspoken tension as he pushed open the door to a quieter side room, away from the chatter and energy of the other officers. The fluorescent lights hummed overhead as you stepped inside, the soft thud of the door closing behind you magnifying the sudden silence. Bakugouā€™s back was to you, the crisp lines of his navy-blue police detective uniform sharp under the bright lights. The tailored fabric stretched over his broad shoulders, the insignia patch visible on his sleeve as he crossed his arms and let out a deep, controlled breath.
ā€œAlright, listen up, rookie,ā€ he started, voice low and rough but without the usual edge that could cut through concrete. His eyes met yours, stormy and electric, a mix of begrudging seriousness and irritation. It wasnā€™t quite the barking tone you were used to, but it sure as hell wasnā€™t gentle either. ā€œThis isn't some simple patrol. Weā€™re dealin' with a syndicateā€”real, organized scum whoā€™d sell their own mothers for a payday.ā€
You nodded, feeling the pressure coil tighter in your chest. He took a step closer, and you resisted the urge to flinch. He wasnā€™t intimidating by accident; he was all sharp edges and raw energy, a wildfire trying to behave like a controlled burn.
ā€œI know youā€™re green, and I know youā€™re not ready for half the shit weā€™re about to face.ā€ His eyes narrowed, watching for any sign of disagreement. ā€œBut that donā€™t mean youā€™re gonna slack off. This is your chance to prove you can handle beinā€™ my partner without dragginā€™ my ass down.ā€
You opened your mouth to speak, maybe defend yourself or say something witty to cut the tension, but he didnā€™t give you the chance. His hand flew up, pointer finger raised in warning. ā€œNo. Shut up and listen."
Great. The infamous Bakugou Katsuki motivational speech, part two.
ā€œWeā€™re runnin' recon. Stakeout. The works. This ainā€™t the kind of gig where you can afford to blink and miss somethinā€™.ā€ He started pacing, his boots hitting the linoleum floor with a steady rhythm. The room was just big enough that his movements seemed to fill every inch of space, every stride of his reminding you that he was not just a man, but a force. ā€œWe watch, we wait, and we donā€™t move unless we have to. You donā€™t make a sound unless I tell ya to. You donā€™t play hero, you donā€™t get curious, and you sure as hell donā€™t run your mouth if things get tense.ā€
He stopped in front of you again, eyes flickering over your expression like he was reading every doubt, every hesitation. His jaw clenched, and for a moment, you thought he might actually tone it down. Instead, he leaned in, the intensity in his eyes nearly crackling.
ā€œIā€™m sayinā€™ this once, so get it through that head of yours: the second you act like this is a game or hesitate when things get messy, weā€™re done. Got it?ā€
The room felt a few degrees hotter, and it took everything in you not to shrink under his stare. You swallowed hard, steeling your nerves. ā€œ..Got it.ā€
His gaze lingered, scanning for any cracks, any sign that you were bluffing. Whatever he saw must have passed his test, because he straightened, arms folding back across his chest as he nodded once, sharply.
ā€œGood.ā€ The corner of his mouth twitched, not quite a smirk but something less hostile. ā€œNow, donā€™t screw it up.ā€
Silence stretched between you for a moment, the words sinking in like lead. You didnā€™t know whether to be relieved or more anxious. You took a breath, the reality of it all pressing down on your shoulders.
ā€œSo, whenā€™s the stakeout?ā€ you asked, trying to mask the nerves in your voice with a false bravado. It worked well enough in theoryā€”maybe not so much in practice.
Bakugouā€™s eyes darkened with the glint of a man ready for battle. ā€œTonight. Gear up and meet me by the west gate at 1900. And remember what I said, rookieā€”ā€˜cause one slip, and weā€™re both screwed.ā€
You nodded again, the weight of the next few hours pressing like a vise on your chest. As you turned to leave, the thought flared back in your mind: Yeah, you were definitely doomed.
.....
The hours between the briefing and 19:00 were a special kind of hell. You sat at your desk, fingers drumming against the polished wood as your nerves twisted into knots that no amount of deep breathing could undo. The department buzzed around you, a chaotic orchestra of voices, footsteps, and the static crackle of radios. But all of it was muffled, like cotton was stuffed in your ears. Your mind was on one thing: tonight's stakeout.
Kaminari, bless his soul, had tried to lighten the mood, sauntering over with that boyish grin and the kind of confidence that only came from blissful ignorance. ā€œHey, you look like youā€™ve seen a ghost. You know, if this was a horror movie, youā€™d be the one who gets possessed first.ā€
ā€œThanks, Kaminari,ā€ you muttered, forcing a weak smile as your leg bounced under the desk. His joke didnā€™t help, but at least it was something.
ā€œAnd then Bakugou would probably shout at the demon until it left you alone,ā€ he added, wiggling his eyebrows. That earned him a snort from Kirishima across the room, who was busy checking his gear. Even so, the tension in your chest didnā€™t let up.
ā€œWouldnā€™t surprise me if the demon just possessed him instead,ā€ you said, only half-joking. Kaminari barked out a laugh before leaning in.
ā€œHey, youā€™ll be fine. Just, you know, donā€™t do anything Bakugou said not to do,ā€ he whispered conspiratorially.
You wanted to laugh, you really did. But instead, all you could do was glance at the clock, counting down the hours and minutes until youā€™d have to face Bakugouā€™s exacting standardsā€”and hope that you wouldnā€™t be the reason this mission went sideways.
ā€¦
By the time 18:30 rolled around, you were a bundle of frayed nerves. Every glance from Bakugou during prep was a silent challenge, his sharp eyes catching the tiniest misstepsā€”your holster that wasnā€™t clipped properly, the radio you checked twice just to be sure it was on the right frequency. He didnā€™t even have to say anything; the weight of his disapproval was enough to make you sweat bullets. You could practically hear him in your head, shouting, ā€œRookie mistakes get us killed.ā€
The room felt like it was closing in, the anticipation coiling tighter with every second that passed. It didnā€™t help that the murmured conversations were peppered with glances in your direction. Even Kirishima, whoā€™d shown up with a reassuring clap on your shoulder and a grin that promised camaraderie, couldnā€™t shake the feeling of impending doom that had settled over you.
ā€œAlright, everyone!ā€ Chief Yagiā€™s voice cut through the room like a warm, steady beacon. The tall man stood beside Chief Aizawa, who looked like heā€™d rather be anywhere but here, his eyes half-lidded but sharp. The room quieted instantly, officers shifting from casual banter to focused attention. Even Bakugou, with his constant underlying intensity, straightened his posture.
ā€œThis is it,ā€ Chief Yagi began, his voice even and calm, resonating with the kind of authority that settled nervesā€”at least a little. ā€œWeā€™re up against a syndicate thatā€™s been one step ahead of us for too long. Tonight, we change that.ā€
Chief Aizawaā€™s eyes swept the room, pausing on you for a fraction longer than youā€™d have liked. ā€œStay sharp. This isnā€™t your average stakeout. Everyone needs to be on point. One mistake, and theyā€™ll be gone before we blink.ā€
You nodded, feeling the weight of his gaze like an iron chain. Your heart drummed so loudly, you wondered if anyone else could hear it.
ā€œBakugou, you and your team are the first line,ā€ Yagi continued, eyes shifting to the explosive blond. Bakugouā€™s lips twitched into something that might have been a smirk but was probably just his battle-ready scowl. ā€œBe ready for anything.ā€
ā€œDamn right,ā€ Bakugou muttered, more to himself than anyone else. His eyes flicked to you for half a second, a warning and an assurance wrapped into one.
You swallowed hard as the chiefs finished the briefing, a collective shuffling of boots and gear following as everyone moved out to their positions. The air crackled with anticipation, every officer a tightly wound spring ready to snap. The hallway buzzed with activity, footsteps echoing as your team gathered near the entrance.
And then it hit you, hard and cold like a wave crashing over your head: you were absolutely fucked. All the pep talks, all the reassurances in the world couldnā€™t quell the gnawing anxiety that twisted in your gut as you stepped into the night, the sky darkening into a canopy of shadows.
ā€œLetā€™s move, rookie!ā€ Bakugouā€™s voice cut through, snapping you back to the present. You glanced over at Midoriya, who shot you a small, nervous smile that did little to settle your nerves. Ahead, Kirishima flashed a thumbs-up, his own excitement barely contained.
The night was just beginning, but one thing was clearā€”you were in for the fight of your life.
.....
You, Kirishima, and Bakugou took up positions in the dense cluster of shadows outside the syndicate's hideout. The abandoned industrial park loomed like a hulking beast, its rusted metal structures catching the eerie glow of the moon. The cool night air should have been refreshing, but it only added a biting edge to the tension coiling in your stomach. Bakugou was already a taut wire, vibrating with his usual mix of impatience and adrenaline.
ā€œEyes open, no screw-ups,ā€ Bakugou hissed under his breath, the snarl barely masked behind clenched teeth. His glare cut through the dark, landing squarely on you. Great, you thought. Just what you neededā€”his full, undivided wrath.
ā€œGot it,ā€ you muttered, your voice barely audible over the quiet hum of night insects.
Kirishima, bless his eternally optimistic soul, shot you a reassuring smile. ā€œHey, weā€™re gonna be fine, yeah? Weā€™ve trained for this. Just remember the plan.ā€
You nodded, trying to channel even a sliver of his confidence. The plan was simple on paper: observe, gather intel, wait for the signal. But reality had a funny way of chewing up simple plans and spitting them out as complicated messes, and with Bakugou as the lead, nothing was ever just simple.
Bakugou shifted beside you, eyes narrowed and posture coiled tight like a predator about to spring. ā€œStop movin' like youā€™re an amateur on a school field trip. You make one wrong move, and theyā€™ll hear us from miles away.ā€
You bit the inside of your cheek to stop from snapping back. He wasnā€™t wrong, but damn if the delivery didnā€™t make you want to throw your boot at his head. Instead, you adjusted your stance, focusing on steady, measured breaths. Kirishimaā€™s eyes darted between the two of you, his smile faltering slightly. He opened his mouth as if to say something encouraging but quickly shut it as Bakugou shot him a look that couldā€™ve seared paint off metal.
ā€œFocus, Shitty Hair. Weā€™re not here for a group hug.ā€,ā€ Bakugou growled.
Kirishima winced, but to his credit, he nodded. ā€œRight, right. All good here.ā€
The quiet stretched out, an oppressive blanket that made every creak and rustle sound magnified. You kept your eyes trained on the entrance of the building, fingers flexing nervously at your side. A bead of sweat rolled down your temple despite the chill. You wanted to be calm, composed, the officer Bakugou didnā€™t feel like he had to babysit. But under the weight of his scalding gaze, the pressure sat heavy on your chest.
Suddenly, a small soundā€”a metallic clinkā€”broke the silence. Your eyes darted to the source, and before you could register what it was, Bakugou had whirled on you, eyes blazing with fury.
ā€œWhat the hell did I say, rookie?!" he hissed, barely louder than a whisper but fierce enough to make your pulse leap. ā€œYou tryin' to announce our presence with a goddamn megaphone?ā€ā€
ā€œI didnā€™tā€”ā€ you started, but Kirishima interjected, trying to diffuse the escalating tension.
ā€œWhoa, whoa, guys. Letā€™s justā€”ā€
ā€œStay outta this, Kirishima,ā€ Bakugou snapped, never taking his eyes off you. "I swear, if you cost us this opā€”ā€
ā€œBakugou, I get it,ā€ you interrupted, your voice sharp enough to slice through the static in the air. ā€œIā€™m not here to mess this up.ā€
ā€œThen act like it.ā€,ā€ he shot back, voice dripping with impatience. His eyes were unreadable in the dark, but you could feel the weight of everything he wasnā€™t saying pressing against you. Prove yourself or get out of my way.
Kirishima shifted awkwardly, clearly torn between stepping in and staying silent. His fingers curled, the tension evident even in his usually relaxed frame. He gave you a small, apologetic look, but there wasnā€™t much he could do. Bakugouā€™s word was final.
You swallowed hard and nodded, steeling yourself. The sting of Bakugouā€™s criticism burned, but it fueled you, sharpening your focus. You wouldnā€™t give him the satisfaction of breaking under his scrutiny.
The minutes ticked by, each one stretching longer than the last as the quiet hum of the night settled once more. The weight of the mission, of Bakugouā€™s piercing gaze, of your own hammering heartbeatā€”all of it coalesced into a single, suffocating realization.
You were in it now, with no room for doubt or error. As Chief Yagiā€™s voice crackled softly through the comms with the final ā€œAll units, prepare to engage,ā€ you exhaled shakily. The stakeout had officially begun, and there was no turning back.
This, you thought as you scanned the perimeter one last time, the shadows shifting and stretching like specters. Is the worst year of my life.
.....
The first half hour of the stakeout was suffocating in its monotony. Every creak and groan of the old industrial park seemed amplified, stretching the seconds into an eternity. Bakugou hadnā€™t taken his eyes off the building for a second, muscles taut and ready to strike at the slightest hint of movement. You tried to match his vigilance, forcing your breathing to remain steady as the cold air bit through your jacket. Kirishima shifted beside you, the only sign he wasnā€™t made entirely of stone.
Suddenly, a low whistle over the comms cut through the night: the signal. Movement at the side entrance. Your pulse spiked, locking eyes with Bakugou, who barely gave you a glance before snapping, ā€œStay close. Donā€™t screw this up.ā€
ā€œRight,ā€ you muttered, mostly to yourself. This was it. Time to prove you were more than just some rookie Bakugou had to babysit.
The three of you crept forward, Bakugou leading with steps too silent for someone with such a loud personality. You mirrored him as best you could, even as adrenaline threatened to unsteady your footing. Kirishima brought up the rear, eyes narrowed and focused.
Just as you reached the door, Bakugouā€™s hand shot up, signaling a halt. He glanced back, mouthing, On my mark. Your fingers flexed, nerves wound tighter than a spring.
Then, a figure darted out of the building, faster than expected. Panic flared as you reacted just a beat too late. Your foot grazed a loose pipe, sending it clattering against the concrete like a symphony of mistakes.
Bakugouā€™s eyes flashed with molten fury. ā€œWhat the hell did I just say?!ā€
The figure froze, head whipping toward the noiseā€”then bolted, vanishing into the maze of the industrial park.
ā€œMove!ā€ Bakugou roared, his voice slicing through the night.
All three of you burst into a sprint, boots pounding cracked pavement. The cold bit harder as you tore through tight corridors and rusted structures, Bakugouā€™s curses driving you forward.
Twisting around corners, feet pounding, shadows shifting erratically in the flashlightsā€™ beamsā€”you misstepped, just a fraction too slow on the slick ground. Your ankle twisted, and the world tilted. You yelped, slamming into a metal crate with a clang.
ā€œSplit up!ā€ he barked, and you veered right, legs burning, lungs heaving to keep pace. You caught a blur of movementā€”a flash of dark clothing.
ā€œContact, west side!ā€ you gasped into the comms.
But as you turned the corner, your target slipped into a corridor cluttered with debris. You leapt over a pipe, skidding on loose gravel, arms pinwheeling. Before you regained balance, a second figure shoved past, slamming you against the metal siding of a container.
ā€œDammit!ā€ you choked, disoriented. The clatter had already alerted the team, but it was too late. Bakugou appeared from the opposite end, just in time to see them vanish through a gap in the chain-link fence.
He spun to you, fury sparking in his eyes. ā€œAre you serious? One damn job, and you blew it!ā€
Kirishima came running, breathing hard, eyes darting between the exit and your crumpled form. ā€œWe can stillā€”ā€
ā€œItā€™s too late, Kirishima.ā€ Bakugou spat, words cutting like glass. He yanked you up by the arm, not gentle. ā€œLost our best lead ā€˜cause of you.ā€
You winced as he let go, the cold fury in his eyes stinging more than the rough grip on your arm. Silence fell heavy, punctuated only by harsh breaths and the distant hum of the city.
Then Chief Yagiā€™s voice crackled over the comms. ā€œTeams, return to base. Weā€™ll regroup and assess.ā€
You couldnā€™t look Bakugou in the eye as you trudged back, the walk a slow march of shame. Kirishima tried a comforting shoulder pat, but it only made the sting worse. Bakugouā€™s words echoed in your skull, sharp as broken glass.
.....
Back at the precinct, Bakugou wasted no time, cornering you in the hallway, slamming a fist against the wall by your head with a sharp crack. You flinched. His eyes blazed, a cold fury simmering beneath the surface. His jaw clenched so tight it looked ready to shatter, and you could feel heat radiating from him, even in the frigid night air. This was beyond bad.
ā€œWhat. The hell. Were you thinkinā€™?ā€ he ground out, each word heavy with fury, barely contained. He was close enough that you noticed the scar slicing across his right cheekā€”a jagged reminder he was built for chaos. Right now, though, he looked like he was about to snapā€”and you were the reason why.
Honestly? You didnā€™t even know. No idea, and that was the worst of it. You didnā€™t know why you kept screwing up. Or why you couldnā€™t justā€¦stop.
You swore you wouldnā€™t cry. Never. But after everything, you could feel it creeping up, your gaze dropping to avoid Bakugouā€™s glare, which burned with something harsher than angerā€”disdain. It was like fuel to the fire, but for your tears, if that even made sense.
The weight of his glare felt like it might crush you into the linoleum. Bakugouā€™s presence filled every inch of the hallway, every jagged line of his rage pressing in on you until even breathing felt like a mistake. But you forced yourself to hold it together, swallowing hard, refusing to crack under his gaze.
"Chief Yagi told me you had potential," he sneered, voice dripping with venom. "Thought I was wastinā€™ my time watchin' your back, but I guess youā€™re set on provin' him wrong." His eyes raked over you, assessing, but you could tell he wasnā€™t finding anything worth the trouble.
Your fists tightened, knuckles white, but you bit back any retort that threatened to slip out. You didnā€™t have a defense. Youā€™d failed, and he was right to be angry. Still, the weight of his disappointmentā€”and the sting of his wordsā€”cut deep.
"I fuckin' knew you'd be a shit partner, if I can even call you that," Bakugou spat, voice low and venomous. He stepped back, shaking his head in disgust. "You're not even worth the time I wasted, dragging your ass through this mess."
Your chest tightened, but you kept your jaw set, refusing to back down or give him the satisfaction of seeing your frustration boil over. You could feel the heat of his words, each one like a slap to the face. But you werenā€™t going to let him break you.
Kirishima rounded the corner, his face a mask of concern. He caught Bakugouā€™s shoulder, halting him mid-step. ā€œCā€™mon, man, go easy. You know we all slip up sometimes. We were all green once, right?ā€
Bakugou shrugged him off, his glare flicking between you and Kirishima. "Greenā€™s one thing. Getting a lead ruined ā€˜cause they donā€™t know left from right? Thatā€™s another."
Kirishima's jaw tensed, but he turned to you with a softer look, one that almost undid all your efforts not to crumble right there. "Hey, everyone messes up at some point. Even Bakugouā€™s had a few rough starts. Right, Bakugou?" he added, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, hoping to diffuse the tension.
Bakugouā€™s eyes flashed, jaw clenching tighter. ā€œDonā€™t put words in my mouth, Shitty Hair.ā€
Kirishima didnā€™t back down, meeting Bakugouā€™s fierce gaze head-on. ā€œBut youā€™re the one whoā€™s always telling everyone to learn fast, right? And they will. They just needā€”ā€
ā€œNeed to toughen up, yeah,ā€ Bakugou snapped, cutting him off. He turned back to you, his voice low and lethal. "Next time you so much as breathe wrong on a case, Iā€™ll make sure itā€™s the last time."
With one last, withering look, he stormed off, footsteps echoing down the hall. Kirishima stayed a moment longer, his hand landing on your shoulder, firm but reassuring.
"Look," he murmured, lowering his voice. "Bakugouā€™s tough on everyone. Hell, he was even worse with me when I started. But heā€™s all bark, yeah? Donā€™t let it get to you. Youā€™ll learn. Justā€¦keep at it."
You managed a shaky nod, swallowing past the tightness in your throat. ā€œThanks, Kirishima.ā€
He gave you a reassuring pat, his smile kind despite everything. "Hang in there. If you stick around long enough, even Bakugouā€™s gotta acknowledge you eventually." He offered a wink, trying to lighten the mood, before heading down the hall after his friend.
The quiet that followed felt hollow, the fluorescent lights humming above as you stood there, replaying every step of the mission in your mind, every slip and wrong move magnified a hundred times over.
You barely registered the footsteps approaching until a soft voice spoke.
"You okay?"
It was Chief Yagi, his tall frame looming gently over you, eyes soft and compassionate. The chief was a man of few words, but each one seemed to carry weight. Heā€™d been the one who vouched for you, vouched hard enough to get Bakugouā€™s reluctant approval. You didnā€™t know why heā€™d stuck his neck out, not when there were dozens of rookies more deserving.
ā€œYes, sir. Justā€¦reflecting,ā€ you managed, forcing your voice to stay steady.
Yagiā€™s gaze didnā€™t waver, his sharp eyes searching yours as if reading every thought that crossed your mind. ā€œMistakes happen,ā€ he said quietly, his tone gentle but firm. ā€œTheyā€™re not what define you. Itā€™s what you do afterward that counts.ā€
You nodded, hearing the wisdom in his words but not quite feeling it. The shame still burned, Bakugouā€™s words still echoing like a scar. You couldnā€™t shake the image of his furious glare, the way his words cut through you, sharper than any blade. You had one job. Thatā€™s all heā€™d said. And youā€™d screwed it up. Badly.
You werenā€™t cut out for this, were you? Maybe Bakugou was rightā€”maybe you were just a waste of time. Everyone around you seemed to know exactly what they were doing, but you were fumbling through every step, like a toddler learning to walk. You could still feel the sting of his disappointment, his anger, like it was still seeping into your bones.
You werenā€™t good enough. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
A pit of self-loathing twisted in your stomach, deeper than it ever had before. Youā€™d come into this job with so much hope, with the idea that you could prove yourself, that you could be something more than just another rookie. But every time you tried, it felt like you only dug yourself deeper. Every mistake you made seemed to stack up, making you a bigger target for Bakugouā€™s wrath.
Was this the best you could do? Stumbling through every opportunity, letting your partner clean up your mess?
You shouldā€™ve known better. You shouldā€™ve moved faster, been more careful, not tripped on that damn pipe. You shouldnā€™t have let the pressure get to you. But here you were, a failure in the eyes of your mentor, your team, yourself.
Tears burned the back of your eyes, and you blinked them away furiously. You didnā€™t cry. Not over something like this. But no matter how hard you tried, the ache in your chest didnā€™t fade. What if this was it? What if you just werenā€™t built for this kind of work? Maybe you didnā€™t belong here at all.
You pushed a hand against the wall, feeling the cool surface beneath your palm as your breath grew shallow. What if you just gave up? What if you walked out the door, out of this damn precinct, and never came back?
Youā€™re not good enough, the thought whispered. And you never will be.
For a moment, you stood there, weighed down by that voiceā€”by the truth of it. And in the quiet of the hallway, with only the distant hum of the building and the haunting echoes of Bakugouā€™s fury, you felt like maybe, just maybe, you were starting to believe it.
The silence stretched on, the oppressive weight of your own thoughts bearing down on you. The anger that had been bubbling in your chest before was now buried under a thick layer of disappointmentā€”both your own and what you imagined Bakugouā€™s to be.
But then, a soft voice cut through the dark fog of your mind.
"Hey." Chief Yagiā€™s voice was gentle, but firm. You didnā€™t even realize he had entered the hallway until you heard him say your name. "You doing alright?"
You flinched at the sound of your name, dragging your gaze up to meet his warm, steady eyes. Chief Yagi wasnā€™t like Bakugouā€”he wasnā€™t harsh, wasnā€™t blunt or demanding. His presence was a quiet kind of strength, and it was that quiet strength that seemed to settle over you like a blanket.
ā€œIā€¦ I donā€™t know, Chief.ā€ The words came out like a confession, raw and hesitant. You couldnā€™t meet his gaze for long, instead focusing on the floor as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. "I screwed up. Big time. Iā€¦ I donā€™t think Iā€™m cut out for this."
The words tasted like ash in your mouth. They were the culmination of all the doubts youā€™d been carrying, every mistake youā€™d made, every misstep that felt like a chasm between you and your teammates.
Chief Yagi sighed softly, taking a step closer, his expression kind but knowing, like heā€™d seen this before. "Hey," he repeated, his voice reassuring. "Everyone messes up. Especially when theyā€™re starting out."
You shook your head, unable to shake the feeling that youā€™d let everyone down. "I let everyone down, Chief. Bakugou was right. Iā€”I had one job, and I blew it. You gave me a chance to prove myself..and I failed."
"Yeah, you made a mistake. But you didnā€™t ruin everything." Chief Yagiā€™s voice was calm, but it carried the weight of experience. "Weā€™re not in this alone, you know? You donā€™t have to carry the burden of every single slip-up on your own."
His words were a balm to the self-inflicted wound that had been festering. But they still didnā€™t feel quite enough to wipe away the guilt. "But I keep messing up," you said softly. "Over and over again. Iā€™m just... holding everyone back."
"No," he said, his tone gentle but firm. "What youā€™re doing is learning. Youā€™re learning, and youā€™re pushing through. Thatā€™s all anyone can ask of you. I see it, you know? The way you push yourself. The way you donā€™t back down, even when itā€™s tough."
You wanted to believe him. You wanted to feel that tiny spark of hope flicker back to life inside you. But it was hard to see through the haze of failure that clouded your mind. "But what if Iā€™m just not good enough? What if Iā€™m just... a mistake waiting to happen?"
Chief Yagi let out another soft breath, and when he spoke again, it was with the kind of patience only someone whoā€™d been through it all could have. "You know, no one gets everything right the first time. Or the second. Or the third, for that matter. Itā€™s not about getting it perfect; itā€™s about getting back up every time you fall. And you will. Iā€™m sure of it."
His words sank into you like a stone into water, rippling through the doubt and frustration that had been swelling up inside you. Chief Yagi wasnā€™t trying to erase your mistake, he was just reminding you that it didnā€™t define you. That you didnā€™t have to be perfect to be worth something.
"Iā€™m not saying itā€™ll be easy," he continued, his voice steady, "but Iā€™m here, and your teamā€™s here. You donā€™t have to be alone in this, even when it feels like you are."
You swallowed hard, fighting the lump that had formed in your throat. For the first time that night, you allowed yourself a breath, a small sigh that felt like a fraction of a weight lifting.
ā€œI wonā€™t give up,ā€ you said quietly, the words more to yourself than to him, but they still felt like a promise. ā€œIā€™ll do better. Iā€™ll keep going.ā€
Chief Yagi smiled, a small but warm curve of his lips that sent a little spark of hope through your chest. ā€œThatā€™s all anyone needs to hear. Youā€™re gonna be just fine, kid.ā€
He turned to walk away, but before he did, he gave you one last, reassuring glance over his shoulder. "And if you ever need to talk, Iā€™m around. Donā€™t forget that, okay?"
You nodded slowly, the weight of his words sinking in. Maybe you werenā€™t a lost cause after all. Maybe you could get better. Maybe you were learning. And with that, you allowed yourself just a sliver of hopeā€”enough to push through to the next day.
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deadhands69 Ā· 16 hours ago
Text
A New End: The Bet
MDNI
this one is sfw but the series contains eventual smut
Tomura Shigaraki x gn/(eventually afab?) reader
Warnings/Content/etc: swearing, mentions of violence, destruction destruction destruction, eventual spoilers, and eventual smut.
intro - (this is part one) - part 2 soon
A quiet chatter meets your ears as you enter the open living area. A few more people have joined in the few weeks after youā€™d moved into the league of villains headquarters which really livened up the place. For a room of villains, theyā€™re a lot more entertaining to be around than you would have expected. You were worried it would be similar to your time at UA, but people were actually nice to you here.
Most of them.
The leader, Shigaraki, still hasnā€™t warmed up to you. Tensing every time you enter the room. Never quite looking you in the eyes. Your ideas were always held under higher scrutiny than the others. Youā€™re not sure if he has higher expectations of you because of the information he expects your quirk to provide or if he just hates you, but with how he treats everyone else you've started leaning towards the latter. Fortunately, he rarely leaves his room - still recovering from some injuries earlier in the year.Ā 
In any case, your quirk hadnā€™t warned you away from him which allowed you to hold out some hope that maybe he just needs time to get to know you.
Considering that half the league are practically homeless, it had become a daily occurrence to wake up to a full house. No one seemed to mind, especially Kurogiri who is currently brewing another pot of coffee for the group. You still werenā€™t close friends with anyone but the company is nice.
ā€œIā€™ll bet itā€™s a boyfriend,ā€ you overhear Toga exclaim, ā€œI wonder if heā€™s cute!ā€
ā€œOr she. Could be a girlfriend,ā€ Twice adds.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s your bet?ā€ Compress asks someone just behind the wall out of your sight, ā€œwhere do you think [y/n] goes every night?ā€
From your vantage point in the door frame, they donā€™t realize youā€™re there yet. You pause at the sound of your name to listen a bit longer.
ā€œDonā€™t know and donā€™t care,ā€ Dabi retorts, ā€œnot my fucking business.ā€
ā€œWhat if heā€™s the boyfriend?ā€ Toga grumbles under her breath.
ā€œFuck off, I have better shit to do every night than date anyone.ā€ And Dabi has a trail of bodies as alibis, you note to yourself if anyone tries to suggest that again.
ā€œAlright,ā€ Compress announces theatrically, ā€œand now that everyoneā€™s placed their bets-ā€
creakkkkk
The floorboards announce your presence as you shift your weight.Ā 
Fuck. Eavesdropping time is over.
ā€œMorning,ā€ you say as casually as possible to the group of villains, most of them looking anywhere but you.
ā€œGood morning,ā€ Toga responds cheerfully. Without missing a beat she adds, ā€œdo you have a boyfriend?ā€ ā€œWhat? Noā€¦ā€ you mumble while pouring yourself a cup of coffee and taking a seat at the empty spot between Spinner and Shigaraki.
ā€œHow about a secret love?ā€ she presses again, this time nearly leaning over the table for an answer.
You laugh at the thought of announcing any secret over a crowded table before shaking your head and becoming very interested in the coffee mug in front of you. ā€œDirt-Cheap Donki-Ooteā€ it reads.
Shigaraki scoffs to your right. Clearly he's bored of this conversation. He'd never come to your defense so you know heā€™s not changing the subject for your sake, but youā€™re still glad when he brings up the next mission instead.
That night, you sneak out a bit more quietly than usual. You had to wait longer for nightfall, considering that it's midsummer, but it should be worth it. Following the dark streets in the industrial area youā€™ve been living in, there are still a few new places youā€™d like to check out.
It was a silly hobby, really. You took it up years ago during your time at UA when you really needed it - you just never stopped.Ā 
Upon arriving at your destination, you pause. No premonitions, safe.
Carefully, you cross the footprint into the demolished structure. Steel beams wrap up around you, twisted from failing to keep the concrete upright.
Up to now, your life was always planned out for you. Even more so with your future-based quirk. Getting glimpses of whatā€™s to come always leaves you waiting for life to happen. Or worse, on stand-by until you know if youā€™ve successfully changed your fate or not. After a while, it felt like your whole life was being lived out ahead of you without a break.Ā 
These buildings arenā€™t like that at all though. Thereā€™s something calming in the rubble that draws you into the present and keeps you here. It feels final. Finished. Everything that was waiting to happen here did, now itā€™s a modern ruin. A reminder of things that have already come to pass. Thereā€™s tranquility in that destruction. Some people touch grass, you prefer crumbling concrete.Ā 
Finding a nice spot in the wreckage, you settle in for a while.Ā 
The following night, you debate going out again. It was a long day of mission planning and youā€™re exhausted. You wonā€™t be able to join said mission as your quirk was deemed to be more useful from afar, but regardless, youā€™re expected to sit in on all the meetings in case any visions present themselves (they didn't.) Sinking into your bed, itā€™s warm and comfortable. You could easily stay but the lure of tranquility calls to you.Ā 
Out the door you go.
Fifteen minutes later, youā€™re nearly there. Footsteps echoing through the empty street, you glance around the abandoned buildings for your specific destination. A bush rustles behind you, causing your head to snap back.
Nothing.Ā 
Probably just the wind.
Suddenly, a vision strikes you. Alarmed. Yet you donā€™t feel any danger. If you keep walking, Tomura Shigaraki will follow you down the street and enter the building behind you. Knocking a rock off a concrete block, startling you just enough that your quirk is giving you the heads up. Not the most exciting prophecy, but you know heā€™s there now.Ā 
ā€œYou can come out, Shigaraki!ā€ you call out in the general direction of his hiding place, ā€œI know youā€™re there.
Slowly, he rises. A few leaves tangled in his hair.
ā€œHow?ā€
ā€œQuirk,ā€ you respond. Surely, he is who the group sent to follow you and confirm the guesses from their bet yesterday morning.Ā 
ā€œCome on.ā€
Hesitantly, he follows.Ā 
You wonder how he managed to keep up earlier, considering that both of his legs are still recovering from being shot. He's not limping but certainly doesn't look like he's having an easy time walking. You slow down a bit.Ā 
Approaching the address, you're starting to feel nervous. This is all to calm down, but the prospect of an audience is daunting. On second thought, he's wearing a literal hand on his face so he's not really in a place to judge. And even if he does think less of you, he couldn't hate you much more than he already does. Right?Ā 
Surprisingly, his presence doesn't affect your experience much. He gives you space, sticking to the other side of the caved-in shell of a warehouse.Ā 
ā€œWhy?ā€ Shigarakiā€™s crimson eyes follow you through the space. Watching your fingers as they trace over fractured pillars and contorted metal.
That question. Youā€™ve dreaded anyone else finding out what you do every night for that alone and here he is asking like it's not a big deal. What are you supposed to say, ā€˜I like being around demolished shitā€™? On second thought, yeah. That could work.
ā€œIt makes me calm, being here.ā€
ā€œYou likeā€¦decay?ā€ he asks incredulously.
ā€œYeah, I guess so,ā€ considering your audience, you decide it wouldn't hurt to elaborate.
ā€Thereā€™s nothing to wait for - itā€™s already been destroyed. This is it.ā€Ā 
His face doesn't give anything away, peering between fingers before staring back at his feet while he shuffles through the open area.Ā 
ā€œNo wonder youā€™re here,ā€ he mumbles under his breath.
ā€œDid you win the bet?ā€ you ask on the walk back home.Ā 
ā€œBet?ā€ he considers for a moment, ā€œOh. No. No one won.ā€
ā€œWhat was your guess?ā€
ā€œBeing alone,ā€ he winces slightly after stepping over a curb too quickly for his injured leg to keep up, ā€œbut they said that wasn't specific enough so I changed it to ghost hunting.ā€
You laugh, ā€œghost hunting??ā€
ā€œIt's not the worst guess. Magne thought you were an exotic dancer.ā€
ā€œShe has a lot more faith in me than I do,ā€ you snicker mostly to yourself, ā€œcould you imagine?ā€
He says nothing.Ā 
Suddenly, you remember you're talking to your fairly stern boss and not a friend your age. It's easy to forget when you're also roommates, the lines blur easily.Ā 
Change of topic.Ā 
Unfortunately, decay is all that comes to mind so you go with it.Ā 
ā€œTell me about your quirk, how does it work?ā€
ā€œYou actually want to know?ā€ he replies in the same incredulous voice as earlier.Ā 
ā€œYeah. You decay things but obviously not everything. You were holding your phone earlier.ā€
ā€œMy pinky was off.ā€
ā€œHuh?ā€
ā€œI have to touch things with five fingers.ā€
ā€œGot it. Did it take a lot of practice to learn your quirk?ā€
He laughs eerily, ā€œNo, definitely not. I never really practiced, I just kind of used it.ā€
Ah. Got it. Not asking on that one, you catch the implication.Ā 
This conversation has to be so boring to him but at least you diffused some tension.
ā€œI could show you, sometime,ā€ he says quietly, still not looking directly at you. ā€œIf you want.ā€
ā€œTomorrow night?ā€
ā€œThat works.ā€
ā€œSounds fun.ā€
ā€œYou would say that.ā€
Maybe you're imagining it, but you almost think he's smiling under that hand.Ā 
After last night, you thought you made some headway with Tomura Shigaraki but your working relationship remains the same as ever. All day, he laid into you for your ideas. Glowering over the table every time you so much as looked at him. When it came time to leave for the evening, you were absolutely convinced heā€™d back out - remembering how much he canā€™t stand you. But that wasnā€™t the case. Here he is, closely following you for the second night in a row.Ā 
ā€œWhere do you want to go?ā€ he asks.Ā 
ā€œI have three places saved to check out on this street,ā€ you bring up the saved places map on your phone, ā€œdoes that work for you?ā€
ā€œWhy not one of these?ā€ he gestures towards the rows of abandoned buildings surrounding you, ā€œdoesn't have to be destroyed already, that's the point right?ā€
Oh. Yeah. That could work.Ā 
You nod.Ā 
ā€œPick one.ā€Ā 
ā€œWait, really?ā€
ā€œIt's all the same to me anyways,ā€ he watches as you consider your options.Ā 
ā€œUhm, that one,ā€ you point, ā€œthe one with a lot of windows.ā€
ā€œOkay, stay back here.ā€ He's already halfway across the street.Ā 
Reaching a hand out, he touches the building as nonchalantly as he approached it. Cracks fracture from his fingertips, spreading over the entire structure. Within half a minute, the whole thing collapses loudly. A cloud of dust hangs in the air above him. He looks unphased. And it'sā€¦ Hot?Ā 
No, you think to yourself, it's just surprising. That's all. You'd just never seen him use his quirk before.Ā 
Still, you have to admit - he's powerful.Ā 
Quickly, you cross the street to join him.Ā 
The freshly dusted concrete reminds you of the smell before rain, just sharper. Shards of glass glisten across the space,Ā 
You spend a few minutes taking it all in.Ā 
He simply watches you.Ā 
ā€œWe've gotta go,ā€ his quiet but direct voice urges as he shoves the hand from his face into the front pocket of his sweatshirt.Ā 
ā€œHey!ā€ you hear in the distance, as the two of you break into a sprint.Ā 
You don't think it's a hero, probably some low level security guard but it's still best to not get caught. Especially with a wanted villain. Of course, Shigaraki could easily take him out but he's probably already called for backup so it doesn't really fix the issue.Ā 
Running down the street, you're about to round the corner before your quirk screams at you to take another way. Yanking the shoulder of his hoodie, you pull him to the first door you run past. It's not budging but he dusts the lock quickly, pulling you inside. You thread a piece of rebar through the inner door handles just in case.Ā 
Footsteps grow closer and you realize just how many windows your chosen hiding place has. Your quirk didn't warn you against it though?Ā 
A pull on your arm brings you to a dark corner. Shoulder to shoulder, you're huddled out of sight. The street lights illuminating just enough to cast a streak of light over his face.Ā 
It occurs to you now, you've never really seen his face. Especially not this close.Ā 
He's younger than you thought. Considering that he's the leader and Girian introduced you, you assumed they were around the same age. Turns out, Shigaraki is a lot closer to your age.Ā 
When he's not glaring at you, his eyes are really pretty. Dark red and striking against the pale of his skin. The thin skin around his face is dry and littered with scars. You hope it doesn't hurt.Ā 
A minute passes as you admire his beauty, completely forgetting not to stare.Ā 
Based on his expression, you'd think he was bored but the nervous itching and chewing the skin on his bottom lip gives away some anxiety. It's nice seeing he's actually human.Ā 
With this new realization, you're acutely aware of the closeness. The way his shoulder brushes against yours. You can practically feel the warmth of his body through the fabric of both of your clothes.Ā 
ā€œWhat?ā€ he asks, bringing you out of your trance.Ā 
ā€œNothing,ā€ you respond, feeling your cheeks burn.Ā 
ā€œWe should probably go,ā€ he jumps to his feet, ā€œsounds like he went that way so let's find a door on the other side of the building.ā€œ
You follow him through the maze of hallways before coming to a way out. An old fire exit sign hangs from the ceiling above, long since burned out.Ā 
Locked again.Ā 
He shrugs and effortlessly crumbles the entire door for you to pass through.Ā 
You had it right earlier: he's definitely hot.
m.list
[this was originally two parts but they were both short so it made more sense to make it one]
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seitmai Ā· 2 days ago
Text
You were just about to leave when a spaceship of all things landed on your front lawn.Ā ā€œNot that Iā€™m aware ofā€ you muttered back, you didnā€™t even recognise the ship.Ā 
Just a casual visit, nothing too crazy šŸ˜…
ā€œI did send a raven, did you not get it?ā€ Thor frowned. ā€œNot a raven noā€¦ did you send an email?ā€ Steve answered.Ā ā€œNo, ravens are more reliable and faster,ā€ Thor said shaking his head ā€œAnyway this is my daughterā€
Everything about this conversation is just so funny šŸ˜‚
You instantly picked up that something was wrong and this visit was more than just introducing you to your niece
That special sibling connection
ā€œRemember no lasers Love!ā€ Thor called out as she went, making Steve look back over his shoulder in shock.Ā 
Literally Steve:
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Thor furrows his brows in confusion ā€œI just said it, Itā€™s Loveā€ ā€œRight my mistakeā€ you muttered ā€œWhy donā€™t we go get a drink and you can tell me more about my new nieceā€ You patted him on the shoulder and guided him inside.Ā 
Duhh sorry how could anyone miss that šŸ„“
Thor gave you a small nod before letting out a shaky sigh ā€œYeah- um Iā€™ve changed my mind, you donā€™t happen to have any ale do youā€ he asked weakly.
Oh nošŸ„ŗ
Thor nodded ā€œSheā€™s in Valhalla nowā€
ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹
ā€œExactly, but please reach out more if you need me, I donā€™t want you to go back to that dark placeā€ you said. ā€œI wonā€™t I promise, having Loveā€¦ itā€™s something to focus on, a light in the darknessā€ Thor told you making you smile softly. You knew that Steve had felt the same about JJ when you were gone.Ā 
šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ
ā€œYou ready to talk about it?ā€ he asked softly.
He just knows šŸ„ŗ
ā€œWell as hard as it is to hear it seems like she didnā€™t want people to know and we have to respect that decision even if it hurtsā€ Steve sighed as he held you close.Ā ā€œI know I just wish I had reached out moreā€ you sighed as you snuggled further into him.Ā ā€œI understand, when people die it makes the people that are less behind regret all the things they didnā€™t doā€ Steve sighed ā€œI regretted not telling you that I loved you more, I regretted everything that happened with the accords and that we couldnā€™t move into this house when I originally planned, Iā€™m just glad Iā€™m getting a second chanceā€
He always has the right words šŸ„¹
ā€œI know weā€™re supposed to love familyā€¦ā€ Steve started ā€œBut love is terrifyingā€ he said making you burst out laughing. He smiled and laughed along with you, glad to see you smiling again.Ā 
Hahah this cracked me up
The Demigod On Earth - Steve Rogers x Reader (Love and Thunder)
Summary: Thor pays you a visit and your family expands by one.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: Light Angst! Mention of Character Death! Talk of Cancer Thor: Love and Thunder Spoilers!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Masterlist / Main Masterlist
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Love and Thunder
Summer was probably one of your favourite times of the year, especially now that you had less work over the summer vacation and more time to spend with JJ. Today Steve also had the day off from work so the three of you had decided to spend a day at the pool.Ā 
You were just about to leave when a spaceship of all things landed on your front lawn.Ā 
ā€œWere we expecting any visitors today?ā€ Steve muttered quietly to you.Ā 
ā€œNot that Iā€™m aware ofā€ you muttered back, you didnā€™t even recognise the ship.Ā 
The door to the ship finally opened and you had your answer ā€œUncle Thor!ā€ JJ exclaimed running off towards his uncle before you had a chance to stop him.Ā 
ā€œJJ careful!ā€ Steve shouted after him before furrowing his brows ā€œWhoā€™s the girl?ā€
ā€œHuh?ā€ you hummed before spotting the little girl who looked to be a similar age to Thor walking off the ship behind him.Ā 
ā€œLittle man youā€™ve gotten so big!ā€ Thor boomed as he lifted JJ up.Ā 
ā€œThor, I didnā€™t realise you were visiting today. Whoā€™s your little friend?ā€ you asked as you and Steve walked over to him.Ā 
ā€œI did send a raven, did you not get it?ā€ Thor frowned.
ā€œNot a raven noā€¦ did you send an email?ā€ Steve answered.Ā 
ā€œNo, ravens are more reliable and faster,ā€ Thor said shaking his head ā€œAnyway this is my daughterā€
You choked on some air ā€œDaughter?ā€
ā€œYes, I adopted her just a couple of weeks ago and thought weā€™d visit for your birthdayā€ Thor explained nodding over to Steve.
ā€œMy birthday was two weeks agoā€ Steve pointed out.
ā€œOh my apologies, itā€™s been an eventful couple of weeks,ā€ Thor said with a visible gulp, his voice breaking slightly.Ā 
You instantly picked up that something was wrong and this visit was more than just introducing you to your niece ā€œUm Steve why donā€™t you take the kids out to the backyard i think me and Thor have some catching up to doā€ you said putting a hand on Steveā€™s shoulder.
ā€œBut what about the pool?ā€ JJ pouted.Ā 
ā€œWeā€™ll go later or tomorrow, why donā€™t you show your cousin all the tricks youā€™ve taught Scout?ā€ you suggested.
JJā€™s face instantly lights up ā€œOoh yes cā€™mon!ā€ he said gesturing to the girl to follow him. The two kids hurried to the front door, Steve following closely behind.Ā 
ā€œRemember no lasers Love!ā€ Thor called out as she went, making Steve look back over his shoulder in shock.Ā 
You gave him a reassuring smile and thumbs up ā€œWeā€™ll keep watch from the kitchenā€ you told him before returning your attention back to Thor ā€œIā€™m sorry I just realised I didnā€™t catch her nameā€
Thor furrows his brows in confusion ā€œI just said it, Itā€™s Loveā€
ā€œRight my mistakeā€ you muttered ā€œWhy donā€™t we go get a drink and you can tell me more about my new nieceā€ You patted him on the shoulder and guided him inside.Ā 
Thor followed you inside and to the kitchen. You paused by the kitchen window looking out to quickly check on the kids and Steve outside, no laxer burns anywhere yet which was good.Ā 
ā€œDo you want a drink or anything?ā€ you asked turning back around to face Thor.Ā 
He shook his head and took a deep breath ā€œHave you spoken much to Jane recently?ā€ he asked.
You furrowed your brows at his question, unsure of the relevance ā€œOh um, no not reallyā€ you said shaking your head as you moved to sit down at the kitchen island ā€œNot through lack of trying, I reached out a couple of times but assumed she was busy, whyā€™d you ask? I know you guys havenā€™t been together since before the snapā€
ā€œAh right well um we haven't but we crossed paths back in New Asgardā€ Thor explained clearing his throat as he shifted from one foot to the other.
ā€œNew Asgard? What was she doing there? Research?ā€Ā 
ā€œShe was looking for thisā€ Thor answers holding out his hand, to your surprise instead of Stormbreaker appearing, Mjolnir did instead.Ā 
Your jaw dropped as you looked at the hammer, you could see the cracks from where Hela had destroyed it yet it had been fused back together ā€œI-I donā€™t understand I thought it had been destroyedā€ you muttered in disbelief.Ā 
ā€œMe too, but turns out I put an enchantment on it to protect Jane so when she touched it, it healed itself and herā€ Thor explained.
ā€œHer? What was wrong with Jane?ā€ you asked shaking your head.Ā 
ā€œShe had terminal cancerā€ Thor sighed, swallowing thickly as he looked down.
ā€œOh gods thatā€™s awful, itā€™s a good th-ā€ you started before your brain caught up. Thor had used the past tense, he had the hammer with him now and his demeanour didnā€™t convey happiness that sheā€™d been cured ā€œWaitā€¦ you said hadā€ you said voice becoming thicker ā€œWhat-ā€
ā€œShe passedā€ Thor answered without you needing to finish your question.
If you hadnā€™t already been sitting, you would have needed to because you felt yourself deflate at the news ā€œshitā€¦ Iā€“ I- Thor Iā€™m so sorryā€ you muttered.
Thor gave you a small nod before letting out a shaky sigh ā€œYeah- um Iā€™ve changed my mind, you donā€™t happen to have any ale do youā€ he asked weakly.
ā€œNo, and you know that would be a bad idea anyway,ā€ you told him with a sympathetic sigh, you didnā€™t have alcohol in the house full stop, with you pregnant and Steveā€™s hiccup with Asgardian liquor during the snap you only got it in for special occasions and in small quantities ā€œcome sit down and tell me everythingā€Ā 
Thor sat down with a heavy sigh but to your relief told you everything that had happened the past couple of weeks. You tried your hardest to hold back your tears as he told you everything but with the hormones, it was a losing battle.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m so sorry you went through all that Thor, you did all the right things though and I know as hard as it is to hear it but Jane is in a better place now, she wonā€™t be suffering anymore,ā€ you told him softly, resting your hand on top of his.
Thor nodded ā€œSheā€™s in Valhalla nowā€
ā€œExactly, but please reach out more if you need me, I donā€™t want you to go back to that dark placeā€ you said.Ā 
ā€œI wonā€™t I promise, having Loveā€¦ itā€™s something to focus on, a light in the darknessā€ Thor told you making you smile softly. You knew that Steve had felt the same about JJ when you were gone.Ā 
ā€œShe is, and if you ever need us weā€™re hereā€ you promised him.Ā 
ā€œThank you sisterā€ Thor smiled.Ā 
The backdoor opened and the two kids ran back in, Steve following close behind with an apologetic look on his face.Ā 
ā€œMom, is it time to go to the pool yet?ā€ JJ asked as he came to a stop next to you.Ā 
ā€œYes sorry, weā€™ll just need to get Love a swimming costume on the wayā€ you told him.
ā€œYes! Cā€™monā€ JJ said getting Love to follow him, Thor went with them leaving you and Steve in the kitchen.Ā 
ā€œYou okay?ā€ Steve asked putting his hand on the small of your back as you stood.
You took a shaky breath and nodded your head, ā€œyeahā€ you said your voice breaking, it wasnā€™t true and Steve definitely knew that but you just werenā€™t ready to talk about it.
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The rest of the day at the pool Steve periodically checked in on you. You stayed out of the pool on the sunloungers with your book which Steve could tell you hadnā€™t actually read a single page of. Whenever he looked over to you from the pool you were either looking off into the distance or watching the kids play with a sad look on your face.Ā 
He wanted to know what it was that Thor had told you that made you so upset but he wasnā€™t going to push you. You clearly needed some processing time and he wasnā€™t going to ask Thor either.
That evening after saying goodbye to Thor and Love and putting JJ in bed, Steve found you in bed curled up as best as you could on your side. Steve climbed into bed next to you, wrapped his arm around you and pulled you gently into his side. You rested your head against his chest and started sniffling.
ā€œYou ready to talk about it?ā€ he asked softly.
You sniffled and wiped away your tears ā€œJane diedā€ you whispered.
ā€œOh,ā€ Steve muttered, his shoulder dropping.
He didnā€™t know Jane as well as you but knowing she was gone was hard to hear. He knew the two of you were pretty close following your fight against the dark elves even if you fell out of contact throughout the years.
ā€œTurns out she had terminal cancer, I just canā€™t believe I didnā€™t know, that I couldnā€™t be there for her,ā€ you said shaking your head.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m sorry sweetheart, I know you would have done everything you could of, did Thor know?ā€ Steve asked as he rubbed your back soothingly.Ā 
ā€œNot until just before,ā€ you said before recounting everything that Thor had told you.
ā€œWell as hard as it is to hear it seems like she didnā€™t want people to know and we have to respect that decision even if it hurtsā€ Steve sighed as he held you close.Ā 
ā€œI know I just wish I had reached out moreā€ you sighed as you snuggled further into him.Ā 
ā€œI understand, when people die it makes the people that are less behind regret all the things they didnā€™t doā€ Steve sighed ā€œI regretted not telling you that I loved you more, I regretted everything that happened with the accords and that we couldnā€™t move into this house when I originally planned, Iā€™m just glad Iā€™m getting a second chanceā€
You smiled softly up at him ā€œI love you too, every day for the rest of our livesā€ you whispered.
ā€œI love you tooā€ he smiled as he kissed you softly ā€œAnd when we get an opportunity we can go visit and say goodbyeā€ Steve suggested.
You smiled and nodded your head ā€œIt might have to wait until this one comes along but Iā€™d like thatā€ you said running your hands over your bump.Ā 
ā€œSounds like a planā€ Steve smiled.Ā 
The two of you relaxed together, Steve grateful to feel you relaxing in his arms. He replayed the day in his mind unable to quite comprehend everything that had changed in less than 24hr. He had a niece now, something he didnā€™t think would ever happen.Ā 
ā€œI know weā€™re supposed to love familyā€¦ā€ Steve started ā€œBut love is terrifyingā€ he said making you burst out laughing. He smiled and laughed along with you, glad to see you smiling again.Ā 
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knightwhoisni Ā· 8 months ago
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...do we really need to go over how telling people to kill themselves is a fucking horrid thing to do again? i don't fucking care who you're telling to do it, just use one of the ten billion other goddamn ways to tell someone to fuck off!
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chainsawl Ā· 4 months ago
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[ ID: A tumblr post by @/fox-guardian reading "he's a sweetheart he's a bitch he's just a little guy he's so very powerful he's the kindest of souls he's SO rude he means everything to me". Below it there is a transparent png of bmo adventure time with multiple red arrows pointing at them. End ID ]
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calamitydaze Ā· 7 months ago
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long tag ramble below u have been warned
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#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why iā€™m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also havenā€™t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you donā€™t#anyway: george def couldā€™ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and iā€™m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and thatā€™s the most important thing for meā€” he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesnā€™t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active iā€™ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this mightā€™ve just sped up the process? iā€™m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also donā€™t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommyā€™s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thingā€” this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didnā€™t feel up to putting myself through that again#but iā€™m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasnā€™t able to#anyway. i think thatā€™s all i have to say!#i donā€™t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope youā€™re having a good day šŸ«‚šŸ«¶#bella talks
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stairset Ā· 1 year ago
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I realize this could get me crucified in certain circles but as good as Andor was I really do think its fans can be truly insufferable.
#i'm sorry but so many andor fans just have this snobby ass attitude about it#and feel the need to act as if it's The Only Good Star Wars Thing Ever Made#and every other star wars thing should copy it#because clearly if the show's style works for THAT story it MUST work for every story right#it was annoying when the show was airing and it's annoying now#like idk maybe the people who described it as ''star wars for people who hate star wars'' weren't that far off#i already talked about all this in another post a while back#but y'know a new show just came out which means i have to put up with it again#even though there's really no reason to compare andor and ahsoka outside of ''they're both star wars shows''#and most of it is just people bitching that ahsoka is more reference-heavy#which as i've also pointed out in previous shows. it's a sequel.#a sequel continues the story of a previous work that's literally the entire fucking point#like i'm sorry but when it comes to this show specifically i do not give a solitary FUCK about the casual viewer#it has been very explicitly and unambiguously billed as a direct sequel to rebels from the start#and it was announced 3 years ago which is more than enough time to get caught up#no one is forcing you to watch the sequel before the thing it's a sequel to#as far as i'm concerned if you watch a sequel before the first one that's entirely on you#you knew what you were getting into and you have forfeited any right to bitch about being confused#but anyway back to andor i'm not gonna let people being annoying about it affect my enjoyment of it#cause it IS a good show and i don't wanna end up resenting it just cause people are pretentious asses about it#but yeah i think certain people could maybe stand to get off their fucking high horses over star wars spin-off shows#shut up tristan
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widevibratobitch Ā· 9 months ago
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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.
#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol#anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly#but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size#acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years#and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating#(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive#when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well#and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom#and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao#like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is#anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333#god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by#but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr#anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.
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toytulini Ā· 1 year ago
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feels very strange to get podcast ads about how pride friendly orlando is rn what with the current political conditions of florida for very large swathes of the queer community
i mean i dont have any suggestions for like idk the marketing team of the orlando tourism board to do any better like i certainly wouldnt know how to advertise rn, thats a rough hand youre stuck with and i hope your shit ass transphobe fascist politicians drop dead.
just. wild to hear rn
#toy txt post#and like maybe it is a pride friendly area within florida but like the fact that im getting advertised it from a very different state#its just Feels Very Weird. its like the same energy as when companies started having normal ads again about having like#holiday gatherings and football parties in like 2021/2022? like no actually the unprecedented times are still upon us. your pandemic ads#were insufferable for sure like they felt very weird and stupid and patornizing and but you have somehow managed to Make It Worse#thats kinda how it feels like the same vibe. it was one thing before it was pride month and it was just like casually trying to convince me#to come to universal and disney but now its june so theyre talking about their Gay Days#and like it would almost certainly be very weird and uncomfortable if it was like listen we acknowledge the current guy we have#is going like full blown fascist with an intent on genociding queer and particularly trans ppl but like listen we installed this new ride#and we'd really like for it to pay for itself with ticket sales or whatever. idk just feels weird. i dont know if i have a suggestion for#the advertising board of tourism in orlando to do differently like i dont have a suggestion for them except to maybe get that fucker out of#office. and it probably feels less weird if ur like In The State or in another state with similar horrifying shit#its probably like well whatever and thats fair. i mean its not fair i hope all your transphobic fascist ass politicians drop dead and that#yall will be safe#anyway. just. very weird. anyway idk. @mouse if you kill desantis with no mercy just fucking destroy his ass#ill forgive u a little bit and consider hitting up your extremely expensive theme park if i have the funds. universal if u pitch in on#destorying that bastard ill consider visiting you again too. again if i have the funds. i wont go to the terf wizard section but i do want#to see the new hulk track šŸ„ŗ#ppl of florida especially marginalized ppl of florida. you deserve so much fucking better than you got im so sorry#floridian govt makes me so mad for like the regular human reasons of. they suck for a lot of fucking people and also the very important and#unique ecosystems yall have down there but also for the personal selfish reasons of. florida seems like Really Cool if it didnt have#like#the fascists. and gun culture. id love the climate. well. on the Atlantic side. gulf too warm for me personally. so many creatures down#there. cool places and you got those Very themey theme parks and listen i would like disney to have less power (#(AFTER THEY DISEMBOWEL DESANTIS. I WANT THEM TO DESTROY HIM AND HIS CRONIES FIRST. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ANYTHING)#but like they did kinda go off with the Theming. i do love that. universal too BUT. not to derail this post into roller coasters but also#sorry that is a thing im incapablw of being normal about sorry UH universal also went tf off with the themeing and i Love it HOWEVER#i do with the coasters were more. visible. i cant speak for disney i only went once as a very small tiny child and i remember nothing#but i went to universal in high school like Right before they completely retracked hulk and the theming was incredible i was obsessed.#but there was no way to see most of the coasters without actually riding them which i did find very disappointing.
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nomairuins Ā· 29 days ago
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whining hours . sry
#like idk i try to like. imagine a future where i have like. friends. you know. Bare mimimum i have People i talk to. who arent lamp. and i#just cant imagine it happening again#like. i genuinely feel like i cant connect to ppl anymore and idk how id like. i dont see a way for me to do that ever again since i cant g#to school and like. sny job im able to get wouldnt be the kind where i like. meet people or make friends. and last year when i eent out wit#the express purpose of Making friends i literally couldnt. speak to anyone. like i just sat alone with my headphones on until it was time t#go home ... i dont know how to like. initiate casual conversation#+ like. i worry i get way too invested in any potential friendships bc i want so badly to be Normal and have friends and then i freak out#rly badly over something trivial. and thats entirely my fault like I need to work on not letting my freakouts effect the person im freaking#out abt. yk. like its my stupid brain that just gets rly rly overly defensive and weird abt everything its not like. I need to work on that#and thats another reason i dont knowif ill ever be able to make friends again is bc i genuinely dont trust myself not to get overly attache#way too quickly and then explode or something. idk#i also think maybe im just not meant to have actual lasting relationships with anybody ever. yk. like maybe im not meant to ever have roots#and maybe i just wont ever get to have stability and my life will always be entirely transient. Perhaps thats for the best so that i dont#have t like. lose ppl. and ppl dont have to deal with me#+ if i make bad decisions there r less ppl to care abt it. you know. which is a plus. idk#theres like. some parts of me r like desperate for friends and for love and to just . feel like i exist and Talk to people and like. have#stability. and then the rest r like No this is good bc we cant hurt as many ppl like this and also we dont deserve any of that so this is#for the best. and i just have to sit here like ok ! bc if i seek out friendships that part shuts it all down and if i dont the other part#makes me feel miserable and lonely. like damn i am destined for misery. but whatever. it doesnt rly matter DHRNFJFN im just being whiny#it just feels like i need like. ok this is my abdicating responsibility and is the reason i dont have friends disclaimer. i know that. very#aware. but i like. i need somebody to be the one to reach out to Me bc i like. i cant reach out to ppl like. i cant Try to initiate#conversations . but i think if there was a person who like. initiated conversations w me and started a friendship with me i like. i think#itd help me get used to Having a friend again and then id like. id be better at maintaining it and eventually id be able to pick up th#weight. but Obviously nobody wants to like. put in all that effort for somebody whos incapable of returning the favor possibly ever. yk#i need to just bite the bullet and humiliate myself and reach out even if its embarassing and even if it makes me have to throw up#<- happened one time when i tried to talk to someone new. which is so. oh my god. there r ppl who have avtual fucking issues and then im#just like boohoo i tried to think abt a conversation starter and got so anxious i fucking threw up. GOD. i hateit i hate it i hate it. but#wtvr. ik i cant actually expect that from anybody basically like. ik its a stupid wish. idk. i just wish i had somebody who could help me#like. remember how to mask and how to socialize Like a real person. and wouldnt mind that im like. weird right now. and would be willing to#talk to me until i got normal and stuff. wtvr. idk ... 10000 lashings
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jewishvitya Ā· 11 months ago
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A pro-Palestine Jew on tiktok asked those of us who were raised pro-Israel, what got us to change our minds on Palestine. I made a video to answer (with my voice, not my face), and a few people watched it and found some value in it. I'm putting this here too. I communicate through text better than voice.
So I feel repetitive for saying this at this point, but I grew up in the West Bank settlements. I wrote this post to give an example of the extent to which Palestinians are dehumanized there.
Where I live now, I meet Palestinians in day to day life. Israeli Arab citizens living their lives. In the West Bank, it was nothing like that. Over there, I only saw them through the electric fence, and the hostility between us and Palestinians was tangible.
When you're a child being brought into the situation, you don't experience the context, you don't experience the history, you don't know why they're hostile to you. You just feel "these people hate me, they don't want me to exist." And that bubble was my reality. So when I was taught in school that everything we did was in self defense, that our military is special and uniquely ethical because it's the only defensive military in the world - that made sense to me. It slotted neatly into the reality I knew.
One of the first things to burst the bubble for me was when I spoke to an old Israeli man and he was talking about his trauma from battle. I don't remember what he said, but it hit me wrong. It conflicted with the history as I understood it. So I was a bit desperate to make it make sense again, and I said, "But everything we did was in self defense, right?"
He kinda looked at me, couldn't understand at all why I was upset, and he went, "We destroyed whole villages. Of course we did. It was war, that's what you do."
And that casual "of course" stuck with me. I had to look into it more.
I couldn't look at more accurate history, and not at accounts by Palestinians, I was too primed against these sources to trust them. The community I grew up in had an anti-intellectual element to it where scholars weren't trusted about things like this.
So what really solidified this for me, was seeing Palestinian culture.
Because part of the story that Israel tells us to justify everything, is that Palestinians are not a distinct group of people, they're just Arabs. They belong to the nations around us. They insist on being here because they want to deny us a homeland. The Palestinian identity exists to hurt us. This, because the idea of displacing them and taking over their lands doesn't sound like stealing, if this was never theirs and they're only pretending because they want to deprive us.
But then foods, dances, clothing, embroidery, the Palestinian dialect. These things are history. They don't pop into existence just because you hate Jews and they're trying to move here. How gorgeous is the Palestinian thobe? How stunning is tatreez in general? And when I saw specific patterns belonging to different regions of Palestine?
All of these painted for me a rich shared life of a group of people, and countered the narrative that the Palestininian identity was fabricated to hurt us. It taught me that, whatever we call them, whatever they call themselves, they have a history in this land, they have a right to it, they have a connection to it that we can't override with our own.
I started having conversations with leftist friends. Confronting the fact that the borders of the occupied territories are arbitrary and every Israeli city was taken from them. In one of those conversations, I was encouraged to rethink how I imagine peace.
This also goes back to schooling. Because they drilled into us, we're the ones who want peace, they're the ones who keep fighting, they're just so dedicated to death and killing and they won't leave us alone.
In high school, we had a stadium event with a speaker who was telling us about a person who defected from Hamas, converted to Christianity and became a Shin Bet agent. Pretty sure you can read this in the book "Son of Hamas." A lot of my friends read the book, I didn't read it, I only know what I was told in that lecture. I guess they couldn't risk us missing out on the indoctrination if we chose not to read it.
One of the things they told us was how he thought, we've been fighting with them for so long, Israelis must have a culture around the glorification of violence. And he looked for that in music. He looked for songs about war. And for a while he just couldn't find any, but when he did, he translated it more fully, and he found out the song was about an end to wars. And this, according to the story as I was told it, was one of the things that convinced him. If you know know the current trending Israeli "war anthem," you know this flimsy reasoning doesn't work.
Back then, my friend encouraged me to think more critically about how we as Israelis envision peace, as the absence of resistance. And how self-centered it is. They can be suffering under our occupation, but as long as it doesn't reach us, that's called peace. So of course we want it and they don't.
Unless we're willing to work to change the situation entirely, our calls for peace are just "please stop fighting back against the harm we cause you."
In this video, Shlomo Yitzchak shares how he changed his mind. His story is much more interesting than mine, and he's much more eloquent telling it. He mentions how he was taught to fear Palestinians. An automatic thought, "If I go with you, you'll kill me." I was taught this too. I was taught that, if I'm in a taxi, I should be looking at the driver's name. And if that name is Arab, I should watch the road and the route he's taking, to be prepared in case he wants to take me somewhere to kill me. Just a random person trying to work. For years it stayed a habit, I'd automatically look at the driver's name. Even after knowing that I want to align myself with liberation, justice, and equality. It was a process of unlearning.
On October, not long after the current escalation of violence, I had to take a taxi again. A Jewish driver stopped and told me he'll take me, "so an Arab doesn't get you." Israeli Jews are so comfortable saying things like this to each other. My neighbors discussed a Palestinian employee, with one saying "We should tell him not to come anymore, that we want to hire a Jew." The second answered, "No, he'll say it's discrimination," like it would be so ridiculous of him. And the first just shrugged, "So we don't have to tell him why." They didn't go through with it, but they were so casual about this conversation.
In the Torah, we're told to treat those who are foreign to us well, because we know what it's like to be the foreigner. Fighting back against oppression is the natural human thing to do. We know it because we lived it. And as soon as I looked at things from this angle, it wasn't really a choice of what to support.
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back-on-my-bullsh-again Ā· 1 month ago
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I was just thinking about the time I was at a queer group, waiting for it to start, and we were just casually chatting, talking about what we did over the weekend. I mentioned what my wife and I did. A younger woman scoffs and said "I hate when men say 'my wife'. It's like they think they own her." I'm just standing there, confused, kind of expecting the other people around us to also be confused. But no, all the women started talking about how awful men are to their wives and how wives deserve better than straight men.
So now I'm super uncomfortable because we're at a group for all types of queer people. Yall know I'm queer too and at groups like this, I try to make a point to queer it up because I'm safe to. We havent met, do you even know how I identify?
If you knew anything about me, you'd know that at the time my wife and I got married, marriage equality had only been legal for about a year. Legally, we were no different than any queer couple. We didn't know that we'd be able to be legally married. At the time, I couldn't legally change my gender marker in my state (the law at that point was you had to have 'irreversible surgery' to change your gender marker). Just because I am a trans man does not mean that there was some switch that flipped and instantly put me on level playing field with cishet men.
I don't know what made me think about this again. But that was a very uncomfortable experience for me. It was the last time I went to that group.
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