#and now im doing the broke plan of it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tchaikovskym · 1 year ago

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WE DID NOT GET THE FUNDING PROJECT FOR MY THESIS, a sad YEEEHAAWWWWWWW

#as i expected tbh #and i feel kind of smug bc me and my thesis advisor both read the rules for it #and i was like hmm it seems like they dont want to give large amount of money because initial funding is one of the criteria #my advisor: oh but i talked with one lady and they lack applicants this year. we should go all in and ask for everything #and i was like yeah okay youre the more experienced one here #and now. when we got the results. she told me herself that we wrote too big of a sum #bc the guy who asked only for 10k for basically the same thing (analysis test kits) got it #while we asked for like 60k #because we added a bunch of other tests #so now i have like. 5? k from department money. which is. a lot actually. from them #and now im doing the broke plan of it #arrrghhhhh #phd adventures #weirdly enough my mom asked me today what i would do if i had Big Money #and i didnt answer bc i didnt have it #but i think i wold do exactly the same except i would fund my own research and pay my participants #but im broke and doing the broke version of research so. yea. okay. its almost the same. except i have spicier problems

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bondagebimbo · 14 days ago

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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.

and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠

I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.

I’m just. I give up.

this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭

#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive #half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass #NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone #but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her #all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed #just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one #like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no #leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate #of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it #like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for #oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow #and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks #towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else #I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey #and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense #I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too #I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted #to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest #and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long #fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest #for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days

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rocketmoment · 8 months ago

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to all u evade fans out there that know the lore, i made clothes for Rose since i realized none existed and people had to mix and match random things sooooooooo yea!!! :]

and to those who dont know Rose, here she is, she’s a silly lore exclusive character in Evade

#roblox #evade #roblox evade #rose evade #roblox clothing #dudeee i will say it is a bit low quality and i plan on probably fixing it later but for now #im like literally broke and cant fix it rn #so yeahhhhhhhhsjdhhd #i hope u enjoy anyways #if u do decide to use it it will probably look best with a belt for now #so be sure to accessorize it!#oh also i hid VERY HARD TO SEE star paws on the bottom of her feet LOL

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faaun · 5 months ago

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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her #and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that #bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control #AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern #which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have #become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and #then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see #the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then #immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now #hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him #she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women #bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely #fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are #capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the #like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond #or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to #feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe #months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time #its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like #there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she #wouldnt show up and ive been right each time #like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at #them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all #anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it #and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy #and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way #its just AUSHD AUGH #anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore

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carcarrot · 2 months ago

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you'll be pleased to know that on my first day back at my job after my two week vacation i am already in one of my semi-regular Job Crises where i feel like if i dont find a new, better job soon im going to explode into 5 billion pieces

#in case you were wondering if i was handling it well #considering getting some sort of degree . but i cant afford that!!!!!!!!!#but i may need one. if i want a better job........#this is so evil. where are the jobs where you can just do fuck all #in all seriousness back to the degree thing im considering getting a degree in library sciences but i dont even have a bachelors 💀#i was too broke for college! had to work! still have to work! no time or money to go to college then or now!#my crisis aside its extremely funny to me how im not even through my first day back and im like oh lol right i hate every minute of this 👍#also im trying not to have Severe guilt abt the ticket(s) i bought the other day like some crazy person but thats another story #yes ill make the money back yes ill enjoy the show but the Guilt..........#which was entirely because my dad was like >:( when i told him i got a ticket for a Far Lesser amount #and im just hoping he doesnt notice how much my bank account has gone down. oops #but that aside and back to my job crisis:#i cant stand it here!!!!!! i really do hate it!!! and i need a new job. however? everything abt the job process is awful and against me #i was planning on writing an article when i got back from vacation but you guessed it im now too stressed/upset to be creative #which is hampering any possibility of my creative aspirations becoming some sort of career #im so tired. already right back to where i was before my vacation when i really needed a vacation #:( . like ill be fine lol i just. am going through it and these tags have gone on too long #but i think i really will get worse if i stay here for longer and its not even that bad but by god sometimes it is #anyway . im taking it well

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oozeandgoo-art · 7 months ago

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#oc #haven #rex #monochrome #contents: a little raunchy for tumblr #doodle #really high effort one but it's about the shapes more than anything else lol #meme redraw #comic #i may color this. the original plan was to color it. however i spent all my energy for coloring on drawing an aftermath coda #im fond of this one. there's a lot happening in it #haven and rex are both dressed "up'' to annoy the other's plus-one minor enemy #<- specific au element #rex is wearing a weezer shirt because haven knows that'll piss off taran. haven is dressed up like rex's best attempt at a mid-00s surfer #because he knows felyx cant fucking stand haven and is also into buff masc dudes dressed in jeans with rhinestones and thinks it'll be funn #to put felyx in the Lustful Colander #(he is right)#haven's house is not actually a cool neat influencer home or whatever there's no like open floorplan white walls light bamboo floor bullshi #going on here. it's all like green and red granite tile and shit. the man has been around for a very long time he knows what kind of decor #he's fond of. those ARE fish tanks in the walls though. and a spiral staircase #the man has been around for a very long time. he does not give a shit if what he likes is 'tacky'#also when the one speechbubble he says gets weird it is because he is using a magic power and forcing rex to put his cigarette out. rex is #naturally kind of annoyed about this. it used to make haven wince when he put his cigs out on his hands so he keeps doing it every time thi #happens but he has not yet cottoned on to the fact that haven has fully stopped wincing and now just thinks it's a normal habit he has #and has no idea that it's specifically aimed in his direction #also haven has no issue with giving head but rex isn't aware of that. they don't communicate well #and what Rex is actually aware of mostly consists of 'asking him to bottom turned into a giant argument and then a physical actual fight #and he broke my jaw in like four places over it and it was awesome but i didnt get what i wanted' and kind of gave up on the subject #he couldve been getting his d!ck sucked this whole time and he didnt know it. so sad #lineart

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figofswords · 4 months ago

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btw since I haven’t posted art in ages uh I Am drawing but it’s taking me eight years to finish anything rn. so

#im planning on doing some loose sketches and doodles and stuff thats not super polished #so I can get back into the feel of drawing for fun and not for perfection #I think art school broke me bc I do treat art as an assignment now like I can’t just draw it has to be super good and polished and stuff #but. I want to draw!!! so if I post some messy figure studies and like things without colors and sketches even (gasp)#you all gotta hype me up

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nyxypoo · 22 days ago

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i don't like drake BUT

#free chicken slider on his birthday? don't mind if i do #tyyy dave's hot chicken #my lunch plan for thursday #trying to see if any of my friends will go with me tho #hate going places alone #two of my friends are busy urgh #the others didn't respond yet smh #but that's bc they don't check their messages so idk why i was expecting #anyways will ask when i see them #even if they're busy wtvr #ill still go #will probably just get to go tho if i go alone #but me and my friends have been meaning to go there together for a while #now they can't say 'im too broke for that'#THEY WILL GO OR ELSE #or else idk i'll be sad or smth wtvr #but yeahhh free food later this week yippee #☆— yapping

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absolutelyzoned · 4 months ago

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its me and my inability to compromise against the world

#i hate it when plans are changed i fucking hate it so much #i desperately need to rant about this im having an awful time ..Augh #my dad lost his job and is selling his house. we have at MOST 3 weeks to get out of here #so wrre moving to the house next to my moms. my grandpa owned b4 he died. HOWEVER #i hate that house its dirty as hell. i cant live with my mom theres barely 2 rooms there and i currently sleep on a couch in the living roo #there are 3(?) bedrooms where my dad is moving and they are SIGNIFICANTLY smaller than. literally everything #so well have. not a lot of space. not to mention that all the rooms are shaped so fucking weird. shitty old house bonus #literally everything has the fucking landlord special cause my mom used to rent it except all of the tennants were jerks #so the house has A Vibe. /neg. and its a weird combo of dustu and sticky #Im getting off topic.#i was allowed to choose my room a while back and we all agreed on everything and made plans and thought everything was set in stone #the room i was supposed to get is small asf and has slanted walls. (attic room ig) but it was fine #but my mom was like noo! actually! your older brother is getting that room! we never agreed on anything!!#whicj is AWFUL #i HATE CHANGE #AND. i wish you could see the room im supposed to have now but im at My dad's rn #its so fucking small. the water heater is in there. there's a low hanging fucking duct pipe or whatever right by the door #its pink #it smells like shit #ots right next to the washer and dryer.#there is no light. i hate it so much #ITS SMALL. AND JUST FUCKING SUCKS #i might sound like a dick but everything is so stressful rn i dont want to move school starts in 2 weeks i dont know my schedule i don't #have anyone to talk to. we're all fucking broke as hell and my mom refuses to help my dad because. i dont even know why #sorry. btw #i need someone to talk to so bad #they won't get me a therapist because 1 its not covered by insurance and 2 my dad lost his job and said insurance #i can't get a job because i can't drive and am so mentally fucked up and its so hard for me to do literally anything #i cry at the most insignificant situations and im always on the verge of tears #i get overstimulated so easy i can't fucking do this

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pikslasrce · 2 months ago

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i think i fucked up

#not my hair thank god but something more sinister.... dropping out of uni #bc i havent legally dropped out yet bc my game plan was to withdraw all the money from my student account so i wouldnt be able to enroll #but. now im thinking that might not be possible after all #and it costs around €45 to drop out and im flat broke AND i need to drop out BEFORE the academic year starts otherwise the tuition #will start coming in and as i said im flat broke so now im like . god. what do i DO #and ofc im jobless which is also terrible........... kms #piksla.txt

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thebigqueer · 3 months ago

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its not even just seeing her that im worired about . im so dreading going back cuz everyones gonna be like 'so have you seen your pookie yet!!' and im gonna have to sit there and look embarrasing and stupid as fuck saying 'oh we broke up. yeah sorry i know i ranted to you guys all the tiem about how much i liked her and made you all listen to everything we did on some reandom date only for us to break up almost out of nowhere. sorry for letting you down and wasting your time' like fuckkkk . im gonna look so fucking stupid saying all this cuz they all knew how much we liked each other. theyre all gonna look at me in so much fucking pity and i dont want to deal with all that

#in reality theyre not going to care that much. like i know theyll feel bad for me in the moment but theyll all go back to their own issues #the next day #but just having to even say teh words 'we broke up' i hate the thought of it #cuz even if only for a few minutes theyre still all gonna look at me with pity and i hate hate hate to think about it #cuz its just gonna make me sadder #cuz i look dumb as shit now!!!! i look fuckign desperate and i look stupid because they all knew how much i liked her!!!!!!!!!!!#theyre all gonan be like 'ohhhh i feel so bad for her. maybe her gf didnt actually like her that much' WHIHC ISNT EVEN TRUEEEE #you know what i think my main issue i sthat i just want this coming weekend to be over #cuz i was gonna do so much w her and once this weekend is over i dont have to think about all teh things we were gonna do #and at least ill get over w the awkward 'yeah we broke up' with all my friends #and im already planning going out to parties on saturday and im kinda dreading it but i also know ill probably feel better if i do go out #so like im ready to go back to campus because a) ill have my friends again which means b) ill have things to actually distract me #but im also so dreading it because i dont get to do any of those things with her.#like thats why i was even excited about this semseter!!!! cuz id get to spendeven more time with her!!!! but now i cant!!!!!!!#sunny rambles

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i-am-dulaman · 1 year ago

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