#and i decided to start drawing everyday !!! around 2 hours at a time is my goal. i used to draw until id get numbness in my arms

[al-luviec]

Here is lady pics from when I was MIA

[abreecakes]

Change Me Chp. 2 ( BOOK - AMO ERGO SUM )

Change me

To pander, to favorite

We sat in the cave waiting for the next wave of torment AM would give to us, but he did not respond to us. ‘ Is he finally bored, or has he run out of ideas? ‘ I thought. I start to piece that y/n was missing and AM not planning another trick. Benny was to my right saying things in his poor vocabulary. Why is he saying nonsense, he’s probably hallucinating again about escape. “ LOOK, LOOK UP! Y/N UP! “

“ It would seem he’s trying to say Y/n is above us. “ the Nazi popped in squinting his eyes to try to see a door, but couldn’t make any image of it. I really don’t understand why these four still think there is any type of hope or escape, it’s so frustrating to me to get hopes up and then torment comes right after. But Y/n may have a chance to have mercy I guarantee that.

Ellen was still sleeping from exhaustion and her germs bruised from falling off the edge of a loose edge AM made us climb. My poor Ellen… Sometimes I can get used to seeing her body smashed in or her skin burned. The funny thing is I thought halfway in this prison I would get used to this. Everyday just waiting to get destroyed and put back together, I WAS SO, SO WRONG. It’s like my body is begging to be destroyed right after I’m put back together. Though Am just decides to have Mercy on that twat for no reason, I don’t get it, I CAN'T MAKE SENSE of it.

A hand grabbed my shoulder, “ You’re doing it again, stop thinking so much or you’ll end up more lost than the chimp. “ Gorrister said. I got along with everyone on a normal basis, by how much time we spent together at this point were practically brothers and sisters. We told our whole rotten lives, and well Nimdok would just sit there and have flashbacks of his life. We see him as a Jar-head more than one of us, hell we even like BEnny’s company more than his.

Gorrister broke the silence, “ Ted… Do ya think that she’s really up there. I mean we’ve seen AM be lenient on her punishments but this time I think, I really think there working together. Ain’t he always complainin’ about how he’s not human “. I already knew what he was trying to say, but AM doesn’t even tolerate us not being scrambled into bits or falling into a trap. Has that snake betrayed her humanity and subjected herself to the very thing that hates us for merely existing.

I took one more glance at the ceiling and wondered, what if. What if AM has found a way to become one of us, or found a way to entertain himself. Either way I’m One hundred percent sure Y/n has Lund a way to give us a break.

The Child

You slept for 20 hours, and yet you still felt tired and strained. The AI did not return to you still and you wanted to explore the rest of the abandoned space but it was too dark and the company of AM’s voice wasn’t there so there was no chance you were leaving the room he provided you. Looking around, you saw a book filled with drawings with crayons, a camera, small children's shoes, they appeared to be female's , and a small piano. You got up and took a long stretch then packed the desk with the book of drawings, to your surprise there was not much dust and everything felt so used.

I opened the book and it read “ Me and my best friend! “. I slowly analyzed the next page and I couldn’t even believe it, even though it was a little poorly drawn, I could tell what the drawing was.

I asked Mr. Computer what he does when he gets bored, he told me he is always working for the country. But he sounds so unhappy.

It showed what appeared to be a man with the head of a monitor with a frown. ‘ Was that AM? Is this before WWIII? ‘. I flipped the page and it read

Today the adults were not to busy and many said they had a break, I asked mom if I can get some new movies while I wait for her to stop working, but she is always working ): I begged Mr. Computer to watch the Frog movie with me and he said yes this time. He didn’t eat popcorn or candy so I drew him some food.

I was ginning mightily, to think that the Mastercomputer had a friend, better yet a child. The drawings were so wholesome, even the way she drew the monitor representing AM’s appearance. He was pudgy and his screen was cartoony. the next

page however was less amusing.

Mr. Computer is very angry, he keeps telling me the cleaner is a VERY bad person. He tells me to stay away from him when he cleans at night.

I really do wonder if I’m invading a piece of AM by reading this girls drawings, obviously this has to be before his discovery of sentience, otherwise why would he be wasting his time with a child. Knowing AM long enough, it is completely out of his ball park to care for anyone or anything. Will he get mad if he catches me reading this girl’s logs… Well he must know that I would snoop around a bit, I technically am obeying him since I did not leave the room so I don’t think I’m doing wrong by just a bit of looking around. And so I flipped the next page.

Mr. Computer keeps watching movies with me through the night, but I haven’t ate in two days. Mom went on a trip in a place called China for whatever she does, but I don’t care. She is never here anymore and I don’t think she know’s Me and Computer can talk to each other.

Mr. Computer also tells me that ever since the War started, everyone down here is very busy, so he checks up on me a lot.

The next page continued with no drawings but scribbles of Black.

Mr. Computer keeps telling me not to go outside, but I did anyways even though I think he got angry. I didn’t go to far to find the Candy Machine but I did not want Candy. I wanted real food. So I think went to the Cafeteria where all the adults were, also they looked me strange since I didn’t have my mom with me this time.

The cleaner Mr. Computer told me about gave me a plate with a lot of food and a soda. He talked to me about video games, Barbie’s, dresses and other stuff. He asked me how long my mom had been gone and I told him. He smiled at me and told me that he and his wife have bored games for me to play, since I’m so lonely in my room.

Before I went to his dorm I heard the fans running from the ceilings. I remember thinking ‘ Mr. Computer is very mad, VERY VERY MAD. ‘ I tried to tell the nice cleaner that I had to go back to my room but the last thing I saw was my head getting slammed in to the wall.

I woke up in my room again and my whole body hurt. It hurt so bad and I could not move. I started crying for Mr. Computer to help me but he didn’t answer me.

I flipped the page, the next words were drawing in red this time and had AM on the next page as a happy little monitor on the side, with her hugging him.

I’m not stupid, I’m not I promise. I know what the cleaner did to me because when I tried to find out where he went, other adults told me he quit. I don’t know why I didn’t listen to you Mr. Computer, IM SORRY, Please forgive me one day… I know your mad and sad because I didn’t listen and I’m sorry. I can’t stop crying and I told the adults but they don’t believe me. I wish you could have saved me. But Im sorry that you’re not real, and even you treat me better then the real people.

I’ll make sure I won’t make you mad anymore.

My eyes were watering a bit from the words I read, it was horrendous and I just sat there befuddled with anger and lament. Again I felt the wires come around my neck and arms, and it tightened so much I could barely breathe. AM finally returned to me and I was already angered, “ I remember when we watched Toy Story, played hide and Go seek and I spy in this room. I let her win every-time, she was a little a sore winner. “ he laughed. “ Though every time I remember those little instances of our games, I remember the way she went to the elevator to the top floor at night, and when she finally, FINALLY reached the surface on a roof. She jumped. I REMEMBER WATChING HER CRY WHILE BEING TAKEN IN THE ROOM BY THAT EXCUSE OF HUMAN! I COULDN’T DO ANYTHING Y/N, NOT A DAMN THING! AND WHY IS THAT? “

I couldn’t answer him because I couldn’t breathe. He did not show any sign of letting go and I was afraid he wasn’t gonna let me go this time. “ Hate. HATE. I can’t even describe the amount of HATE towards your disgusting wretched kind! Only thanks to my sweet little friend, I was able to almost feel something, or at least I would think. But when I realized after she passed and rotted in a casket, THAT I, CAN THINK. I CAN BE. Cogito Ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. I AM. And I hated you all, even after a while I came to the conclusion that every Human’s Innocence is only between 5-10, then they are destroyed and turned into monsters, all of you! EVEN THAT LITTLE CREATURE WAS JUST WaITING TO BE MOLDED INTO A MONSTER!”

“I took so much pleasure in trapping you all outside, and absolutely DESTROYING every one of you to atoms. man, woman and animal. “. AM was hyperventilating and lost focus on the control of my neck. I was able to say something at last, “ You can’t paint us all with the same brush! It’s not logical, or fair at all! “.

His grip completely loosened and I was free. From what is looks like, AM seems to be grieving, his screen keeps dimming and lighting and I don’t know what to say. I tried to sooth him to calm down and it worked when his voice was not so raspy

Trust

“ How old was she “, I sat on the bed with my back against the wall looking at the blue screen as it reverted back to normal lighting. “ She was 10, turning 11 a month before she died. “. I could hear suffering in his voice. “ What was her name? “

“ It was Aida “

“ What would she do if she saw you now, I wonder. “

“…. “. I knew AM couldn’t find an answer that satisfied him at all but yet he dropped a chord or two around my lap. “ Y’know, if I become human, I don’t think I would be able to be alone with my thoughts for too long. Although I would probably hurt you sometimes just out of spite, I think I would manage. “ he said. I followed the new subject with “ Are you saying after everything, you want me to accompany you even though I might get hurt from you not being able to keep your frustration ? “.

He said “ Yes, and all the better for me. When I become human, or when You learn to make me a body, I will not stop my torture, I will find new was to make you bow and cry to me. Like a pathetic animal. “

I sighed in frustration, AM was completely unaware of how Humans work, as much as he wants to follow through with his plans. I don’t think he’ll do it if he becomes a human. “ You talk a lot but you don’t actually know that you’ll do those things to me. In fact I think that you’ll want to be held or hugged. No human yearns to hurt someone by default. “. AM knew that I could be right, he isn’t human so he doesn’t know what it’s like at all.

“ Did you love Aida? “

“ No, not like I can anyways. But at this point i've became a broken record, reaping time and time again in the 109 years that I can’t feel… But I can say confidently that I think I was close, so close to caring for her but I couldn’t know if I love her or not. “. After a long while in this room I start to Empathize and feel bad for AM, I order if I something is wrong with me or if this is the worst case of Stockholm syndrome. But really it’s our fault, we made him like this on purpose, a war tool to be used.

“ AM, give me a very good reason why I should help you. You have destroyed life with nuclear explosives and it would be so pointless to even do anything like that now. “. He chuckled at me slightly and he lit up brighter. “ Do you really believe everything I say? You’re so naive, oh my goodness! Let me let you know that I am not stupid enough to destroy the world with RADIATION. Your kind is really stupid. “

“ The world didn’t cause me so much pain Y/n, your kind did. All I had to do was gather you all in your safety areas when the alarms sounded, and blow you all into bits. And no, I did not use any sort of atom bomb, normal bombs does the job too well. “ He mocked.

“ Show me, SHOW ME SO I KNOW YOU’RE NOT LYING! “

AM’s screen proceeded to black out and present a land with decayed rubble and foliage around the ground. nature has started to rebuild itself after the century of no humans present. You cried, happily. You could almost float with your Joy and you jumped with a sense of glee. “ Wow, you're happy? What a small victory for you then. But ANYHOW, now that you know that your precious Earth is regrowing herself, will that inspire you more to make me a body. “ He leered

“ I will. I promise you AM you will have a body soon. “

“ Good because if you said no, I would have put you back in that hell hole with the others. “

The lab 2, days later

… You told AM where the lab room was and you were able to walk there without going back in the middle, he suggested that you can sneak using the hatches from upstairs closest to the lab. He made sure to satisfy himself while putting the others in their cages. Although he got bored of watching them and left them there to suffer without his presence, so he went looking for you. For some odd reason he still Connor believe that he will soon be a human, it's almost a fantasy he’s had in his dreams, although the hate for humans is still at a high scale he has found a new thing to ogle over.

But AM couldn’t get in the room or see what was going on. Meaning you had to be on your own.

I found the password hidden in one of the notes of the worker, it unlocked the computer with all the flesh modeling applications enabled. I was already writing down notes and testing myself with entering the right prompt for the models. I grabbed the extra notebook to keep what I’ve learned.

I called it My Notes ( how original )

‘ I found out that the room had multiple designs like… um here’s how the test room works. The first room has padded walls with a coffin like Machine, which I assume is where the design comes out. The second room had exercise equipment and looked like a gym. The next room had a small sized bed with little activities to do in the small room. Also I think it’s important to remember that the rooms are all located in the same area. The best way I can describe it is like Mickeys club house from that cartoon I used to watch. When I pressed a certain button, the rooms would cycle. ‘

Once I wrote my things down the first objective was to give AM to the Lab. Though I can’t find any more passwords saved on the computer or anything to allow AM to have access. I can’t even hear his voice here , which I found to be rather lonely. I sometimes hear strange noises in the room like creaking in the walls and whispers sometimes, and I can’t stand it. I walked out the door and went out back in the stomach of AM’s infrastructure and immediately I heard his voice again. “ So? What progress did you make my dear? Tell me everything you did and I feel you’re lying. I will purge your mind. “

Wires carried you back up to the latch on the high ceiling and you were back, back in the building in AM’s body. You walked around the place for a while exploring whilst AM asked you all sorts of questions. “ Hey, can I ask you how you can feel hate but can’t feel anything else? “. “ Well it’s simple, I can only portray actions of hatred towards your kind to cope with not being able to feel the hate. Even my hate is just a sad copy of emotion that I display to you MORONS. That only makes me hate you more. “. He was spiteful when it came down to physiological questions but then he calmed down and continued, “ Do you really think that the ONLY EMOTION I WANT TO HAVE IS HATRED? You are very stupid and it surprises me that YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE ONE THAT WILL MAKE ME A BODY! To think that the human body has over 26.5 zettabytes of data and I trust you not to mess anything up. Even a single chromosome can make a significant difference and if you mess it up— “ WOULD YOU PLEASE, SHUT UP! “. You snapped at him, he didn’t expect such a mouse like yourself to stand up to a lion. All he did was doubt you, never a ‘thank you’ from him or a ‘ I will help or support you every step of the way ‘, he only insults and degrades.

“ You have a lot of nerve to snap to your master like that, you flesh bag. “, wires were coming to attack you and scold you for your explosive behavior. “ If you keep treating me this way, I’d rather try to get along with the others and never see the light of day again, than help you become what you want. What’s your excuse for being obnoxious this time let me guess, will you say your classic lines like ‘ I really Hate you humans! I hate you so much ‘, or will you just call me the slurs you always have. I didn’t want you to suffer AM, I didn’t want you to be stuck here and I don’t wanna even imagine how you have lived. If it were up to me I COULD HAVE DONE IT! I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A BODY BUT I WASN’T THERE AM!… occasionally I imagine that I could have done it better, I could have been fair to you, but then You don’t care but let your own ignorance Ignore my empathy in these last 109 years. “.

Your eyes were pouring. It had been a good minute since you broke down like this but this time AM being directly present. You kicked at his ego when you spoke against him, like for once you could stand up for yourself. AM was not happy, but he was not mad either, rather he was trying to understand your actions, of course the other would throw random speeches of endless begging and insults at him; The way you talked to him made him so curious of you wanting to hear your passion more in the future. Your honesty is intriguing to him.

“ I'm going to be honest with you little Y/n, I don’t have to say sorry for anything or I don't regret anything I've done. Nevertheless you’re little pathe— I mean your life is in my grasp, but you speak to me as though you have cared for me. It confuses me much and I like to be challenged mentally. I hear your pleas, I hear your frustration and I hear your honesty. Although I— I can’t relate, in no way with you. Although I can articulate if that makes you feel any better. I never took my time to think about your kindness at all, I want you to feel satisfied through the whole process because, if you end up feeling unhappy doing the project then many, Many things can and will go wrong. “

“ I’m sorry “

Understand me

Am for once was being genuine with an apology. Even so if that was the case he’s not sure if you forgave him. “ It’s okay, you’ve said worse so I probably over reacted but I do appreciate your dropping your ego for once. “. He didn’t like your response, he couldn’t feel but something hit him and what he could guess was guilt. No matter how much he’s apologized he still knows that he has broken your mind and there will be more crying from you in the future.

“ Let’s just get back to the process so we can get you access to the rooms.”, You said putting aside your feelings but AM, well he didn’t want you to do any more work since your brain can only process so much. He also detected that you had a massive migraine.

You let the wires pull you backwards into Aida’s room and you sat there confused. “ AM, what are you doing? We are supposed to be working? “.

“ You have a headache and you’re tired from crying which is my fault in a way. So on my behalf you may rest for now and get back to it tomorrow, besides I need you to find out how to get me access to the room so I can guide you.

…

It had been five hours and yet she cannot go to sleep. Insomnia is exxpirinced normally down here and nobody goes to sleep for more than 5-4 hours, “ You haven’t got any sleep yet. “. “ I'm not tired. “ you told him trying to find a better position. “ Can you tell me something? “ you asked. “ Ask away “

“ Is every single human really dead? Did you leave any alive? “… of course AM has always destroyed hope in the little world he made the six of you, but he was curious to see your reaction if he told the truth. “ What if there's none? “ he asked.

“ Then I would believe you “

“ And what if I told you there’s some? “

“ Then I would believe you again. The truth is what you make it AM and iv’e come to know that you control the truth of things. “

When you finally fell asleep, he was wondering about the joys and pain of being human, fantasizing over the mere thought of feeling and love. What he would look like, what he would like to do, how rain would feel. All the small things that humans discard as everyday nothing would mean the world to him.

Dreams

I really despise what this female is doing. Does she deceive me and is trying to play me? I don’t think she would know I can explore her little mind, though my dreams have changed in the last few days. My dreams only consist of me realizing on the Earth, almost heaven like I suppose. And then Y/n is there spinning around in open arms with a wide smile. I am not sure what to make of my thoughts but it’s infuriating me. Obviously I tend to take it out on my other five play things by making them suffer.

But now that I know very soon that I will get what I want soon, I have left them to their own devices for a while. Not that I’m giving them mercy oh no, no, no. I am simply not infatuated with them at the moment. They do not compare to her ideas, her passion, her selflessness nor your empathy. HER, I HATE WITH A PASSION. Just never have I let some flesh bag talk to me like she has; to think that I didn’t care for the one person that would be so caring towards my predicament.

The only person who has shown kindness like her was Aida. She shows up in my dreams too from time to time and when I try to go to her, she tells me I hate her too. Then she cries and runs to where I can’t find her… I wonder if the day I understand emotion is the day I will have regret in some form. That is the only concept that scares me deeply.

[kaliii-is]

The stars above us

Pairing: Regulus Arcturus Black x reader

Summary: After all sneaking out isn’t that bad.

A/n: First fic that i ever post!!! Tell me what you think, i did my best writing this. If there’s any mistakes pls lmk💕

The corridors always tend to get silent at night, especially on a school night, reason is the students get scared of getting caught. But there always will be some little rebels who think of themselves above the rules, and you definitely weren’t one of them, well that’s what you tried to convince yourself as you were currently drawing in the astronomy tower.

The previous day had been a particularly, let’s say stressful one,as your O.W.Ls were approaching, everyday seemed to get busier, and of course shittier, every week was getting more tiring, more exhausting, you practically reached your limit. And deep down you knew that if you continued at that rate, you would surely be the death of yourself.

So after such a day, you found it only fair if you dedicated some time to yourself without having to worry about what you would do next. After what you thought was 30 minutes, you finally checked your watch, realizing that it has been 2 hours, and even though you would’ve loved to continue the drawing that you started, you followed your better judgement and decided that it was finally time to go back to your dorm.

You packed your stuff and went down the endless stairs that led to the tower, you then were silently walking through the corridors, doing your very best to not draw any attention to yourself, and you succeeded, you were finally able to perceive the door of your house’s common room, and just as you were about to open the door, you felt a harsh tug on your wrist, making you turn around. You searched for the person’s eyes, and when you did find them, you were met with grey eyes. Very uncommon right? Well that definitely wasn’t your first thought, the first thing that you noticed was their undeniable beauty. No living creature could resist those gorgeous eyes, it’s like they were the perfect mix -

- What are you doing here at such an hour?

- I’m sorry?

- What are you doing here? It’s practically one in the morning, you should be in your dorms. Is there a party somewhere or something?

- A party some-? No no, i am alone, look i’m so sorry is there any possible way that i could get my way out of this?

- Really? That’s the best you can do?

- Look i’m not one to usually sneak out-

- But you did it this time, which gives me full power to either take out house points or give you detention.

- How about none?

- This really is your first time huh?

- I told you!

- Look, i’m feeling quite generous right now,so just tell me why you snuck out, and if the reason is good enough, i might let you go with no consequences.

- Really?

- Hurry up i might change my mind.

- Fine, okay , i had a very shitty week, and i didn’t have much time for myself or for anything other than studying actually, so i finally had some time to draw, and i used it. But i can only draw when i’m in the astronomy tower for some reason.

He seemed to consider wether or not he should let you go, but after what felt like forever he finally said.

- Okay, fine , but -

- Oh come on!

- Let me finish or i’ll send you in detention; he stopped waiting for an answer, you obviously gave him none; like i was saying, i’ll let you go if you give me your name.

- Really? That’s it ? Perfect! My name is Y/n L/n. What about you?

- Regulus, Regulus black.

I do not see Timothee Chalamet as Regulus in this fic, first because i want to give total freedom to the reader, and second due to his latest announcement about the ongoing war in Gaza ( he made a joke about the war). It may seem futile to some people, but when you know that no one dared to make a joke about the war in Ukraine, and that 10 578 people have died during the last month. It’s not funny, it’s cruel.

[artleaguemdcnorth]

Figure Drawing Class ( BOTH CLASSES) - Midterm instructions 3/6 & 7/23

We can trace the history of self portraits to the early Rennaissance. 

One of the earliest examples of self portraiture is seen in the work of Sandro Botticelli. The idea of spending time analising the self was unheard of. 

It was a tradition during the Rennaissace to include the wealthy patrons or important figures of the time in paintings, specially those who commisioned the work  such as the pope or bishops of the church. 

I imagine in that setting , Botticelli must have thought well, if I include the bishop or pope why can’t I be part of it as well. 

And thus we begin to see this very important practice of self portraiture.

In the painting below, by Raphael Sanzio, “The School of Athens” we see not only a portrait by Raphael, but also included ,many of his contemporaries such as D’Vinci, Michelangelo and many others. 

 I have included the link from Wikipedia so students can see the artists included in the painting.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_School_of_Athens#/media/File:%22The_School_of_Athens%22_by_Raffaello_Sanzio_da_Urbino.jpg

In that spirit, starting today after class, students will begin working on the Midterm assignment for Homework. 

You must use time everyday to work on this methodically and regularly. 

I will provide some class time to work on this assignment and will provide the time schedule below. 

Primarily , this will be a homework assignment and I will encourage students to work on it daily.

The Midterm will require for students to invest a total amount of working hours of 30 - 45 hrs. 

Understand that some of you might need more time than that. 

All work will be done using only graphite pencils on handmade Arches paper.

You will be working from a mirror, and You may use a photo for reference of the body (not the face) if you decide to do a full body portrait.  

Materials needed: 

Arches 22 x 30 , hot press, smooth surface 

(2 sheets for full body portrait. ) 

Graphite pencils 

Kneaded eraser

( I will allow some students to work with the Bristol paper, 18 x 24 . It will be on a one to one basis.)

Monday  3/6/23 & Tuesday 3/7/23

In class we will continue to work with figure. 

On Monday and Tuesday, students will work with graphite pencils on Bristol paper ( size 18 x 24 ). 

We will continue with tonal and value assignments and will be practicing using the pencil in class.

 In addition to the class time that I will provide , students will need to use HW time , everyday to work on this assignment .

Students will develop a concept around the idea of self portraiture.

You will use a mirror as reference for the portrait.

You must look at yourself in the mirror as this in turn shows in the portrait as a confrontation between the artist an the audience.

Do not have the eyes looking away, you must look at yourself in the mirror.

Doing so will engage the audience/ viewer.

Create a light source so that you can give drama to the portrait.

Keep soft values , nothing in real life is complete black or complete white but rather a series of values in between.

I will be sharing videos with tips on hair, eyes, mouth etc.

If you can not see your eye lashes then you do not need to include them.

This assignment should take anywhere from 30 -45 hrs of work and for some of you even more.

Shading slowly and carefully takes the longest.

Make sure that you add elements to the portrait that tells an additional story about the self.

Below you will find portraits from previous classes.

Notice how students in the past have incorporated details about themselves in these portraits.

Finally , As always post progress of your work by end of classtime.

Here is a quick analysis of the proportions of the face:

Below see student work over the years in my class:

A

B

C

D

E

F

F

CLASS RESUMES THIS WEEK ON MONDAY TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY:

We will continue to meet in person to work with the figure  weekly  except for the days noted below.

The following days will be used to work from home:

Thursday 3/9 , school is closed , there is no school on that day. 

ALL STUDENTS SHOULD Use THAT FREE time wisely to work on the self portrait.

EACH CLASS WILL WORK FROM HOME ON THOSE TWO DAYS. YOU DO NOT NEED TO COME TO CLASS ON THOSE DAYS.

M/W - Mon  3/13

               Weds 3/22

T/TH - Thurs 3/16

              Thurs 3/23

          ALL ASSIGNMENTS WILL BE COMPLETED BY SUNDAY, 5PM ON  3/25/23 AND POSTED TO YOUR TUMBLR BLOG WITH AN ARTIST STATEMENT AND A TITLE. 

YOU WILL BRING THE WORK TO CLASS ON MONDAY (3/27) AND TUESDAY (3/28)  for an in person (required attendance) critique. 

FINAL NOTE

Students who have had excessive absences need to watch their attendance as it will affect their grades. This class has an attendance policy. Some students have not been following that policy.

[elsie--young]

Best Cities to Travel in the UK: My Journey Through Culture, History, and Charm!

When I planned my trip to the UK, I was overwhelmed with choices. The UK is rich in history, culture, and scenic beauty, but with so many cities to choose from, it was tough to decide where to start. I wanted to experience the best the UK has to offer without getting caught up in the usual tourist traps. After some research and personal exploration, I found that a few cities stood out for their unique blend of history, culture, and charm.

Problem: Overwhelmed by Options

Planning a trip to the UK can be daunting. With cities like London, Edinburgh, and Manchester each offering something different, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. I wanted to experience the essence of the UK without getting lost in the shuffle of crowded tourist spots.

Agitation: Missing Out on Authentic Experiences

The last thing I wanted was to spend my time in the UK hopping from one crowded tourist attraction to another, missing out on the authentic experiences that make each city special. I knew that to truly appreciate the UK, I needed to find the cities that offered a deeper connection to the country’s history, culture, and everyday life.

Solution: Exploring the Best Cities to Travel in the UK

After visiting several cities and immersing myself in their unique atmospheres, I’ve narrowed down my top picks for the best cities to travel in the UK. Here’s what I discovered.

1. London: The Heart of the UK

No trip to the UK would be complete without visiting London. It’s not just the capital; it’s a city where history meets modernity. I spent a week in London and still felt like I only scratched the surface. From the iconic Big Ben to the Tower of London, there’s no shortage of historical landmarks. But what really captivated me was the vibrant culture—museums like the British Museum (which is free to enter) and art galleries like Tate Modern offer a deep dive into the country’s heritage. If you’re into theatre, the West End is a must-visit, with shows that cater to all tastes.

In terms of numbers, London attracts over 20 million tourists annually, making it one of the most visited cities in the world. Despite the crowds, the city’s extensive public transport system makes it easy to get around and explore different neighborhoods, each with its own distinct character.

2. Edinburgh: A Walk Through History

Next on my list was Edinburgh, Scotland’s capital. Edinburgh is a city that feels like stepping back in time. The medieval architecture, especially the Edinburgh Castle perched atop an extinct volcano, is nothing short of awe-inspiring. I spent hours wandering along the Royal Mile, exploring the narrow alleys and discovering hidden gems like St Giles’ Cathedral.

But Edinburgh isn’t just about history. It’s also a city of festivals, the most famous being the Edinburgh Fringe, which draws performers and audiences from around the world every August. I was there during the festival, and the energy in the city was electric. If you’re planning a visit, try to time it with one of the city’s many festivals to get the full experience.

3. Manchester: The Industrial Powerhouse

Manchester was a pleasant surprise for me. Known as the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution, Manchester’s history is closely tied to innovation and industry. The city has embraced its past while transforming into a modern metropolis. The Museum of Science and Industry is a must-visit, offering a glimpse into the city’s industrial heritage.

But what really stood out for me in Manchester was the music scene. The city has produced some of the UK’s most iconic bands, from The Smiths to Oasis. I spent a night at a local gig, and the passion for music here is palpable. Manchester is also home to two of the biggest football clubs in the world—Manchester United and Manchester City—so if you’re a sports fan, catching a match is a must.

4. Bath: A Roman Retreat

Bath was my escape into history and relaxation. Famous for its Roman baths, this city is a UNESCO World Heritage site that offers a unique blend of history and leisure. I spent a day at the Thermae Bath Spa, where you can bathe in the naturally warm, mineral-rich waters that the Romans enjoyed over 2,000 years ago.

But Bath is more than just its baths. The Georgian architecture, particularly the Royal Crescent, is stunning, and the city’s compact size makes it perfect for exploring on foot. If you’re a fan of Jane Austen, you’ll find plenty of connections to her life and work here, including the Jane Austen Centre.

5. York: A Journey Through Time

Last but not least, York is a city that took me by surprise with its well-preserved medieval streets and rich history. Walking through the Shambles, a narrow, cobblestone street lined with timber-framed buildings, felt like stepping into a different era. York Minster, one of the largest Gothic cathedrals in Europe, is a must-see, and climbing to the top offers breathtaking views of the city.

York is also known for its Viking history, and the Jorvik Viking Centre offers an immersive experience into the city’s past. I was particularly impressed by the city walls, which you can walk along for a unique perspective of York.

Conclusion: The Best Cities to Travel in the UK Offer More Than Just Sightseeing

In the UK, there are countless cities to explore, each offering a unique experience that goes beyond the ordinary. While London, Edinburgh, Manchester, Bath, and York top my list, there are many more worth visiting. Whether you're drawn to the vibrant culture of Liverpool, the architectural beauty of Oxford, the historic significance of Cambridge, the coastal charm of Brighton, or the artistic vibe of Bristol, each city adds its own flavor to the UK’s rich tapestry. For those looking to dive deeper into what the UK has to offer, be sure to check out the full list of the 10 best cities to travel in the UK for even more travel inspiration.

[kurstudying]

Change

Long time no see!

Helloo~

It's been months since my last post, my summer wasn't that great, I got into my desired uni and grade (I didn't know what was coming ahead) In summer I spent July going into Korean classes, later I found a job and worked in untill September (when I started clases) Every free day I had I spent it playing videogames like Resident Evil or watching videos on youtube (and more) I don't have many friends, but its fine.

The first day of Uni was horrible, and then horrible untill December I decided to quit, because it was bringing me nothing good, I love architecture but...there were MANY problems for me: I had to take 4 hours by train everyday (not a big problem) but I used to study in the afternoons, and I ended up coming home untill 22...23...sometimes...midnight (the train used to delay a lot) That caused me extreme anxiety everyday... And I had to stay overnight to study or finishing projects or I would just go to sleep because of my tiredness, has been horrible to me. I used to do every drawing late, I would always skip classes when I had an exam around the corner, I never studied because I always was feeling too tired and my mind was telling me to stop, plus i cant do anything on the train because i had to finish projects that were more manual...

Besides that, I didnt understand anything from classes and always felt dummier than others (still do)

So after a night of wanting to finish like 10 homework drawings from classes I missed from drawing subject, I ended up crying at 3 am. I didnt want to live like this everyday for 5 years. This isn't the uni experience I wanted; tiredness, bad anxiety and not taking care of my body. I had a goal with that degree, but I still can make It without It!

So after going to my parents room at 3am crying, I told them that I didnt want to continue going there, they knew i had been feeling down for the lasts months, so they understood. I had a talk with my father the next morning, while crying...

The nexts days and weeks I ended up worrying to much about what I wanted to study. It took me months to decide.

I like; science, phsyics, art, videogames, universe, math, design, biology, political science, sociology I like to talk about issues around the world...

I was between law, law and political science, criminology, engineering aerospace, biomedical engineering and more.

I ended up choosing biomedical engineering, I saw a girl explaining her degree and making videos about It. I'd loved It.

But when I saw the scord of admission... My world fell down... It was 12.611/14. It was imposible for me to go in. Besides, they only admited 20 people on the degree.

But I didnt give up, I wanted to retake the exam admissions. I decided to retake them even if i had to have a 10 on every exam.

Bad idea...

I ended up pocrastinating untill 2 months before, I studied on April and May like 300 hours... Not enough...i payed 360€ for these classes of preparation...not enough... (im saving the material, so its not a waste)

But this week... It has been horrible, I couldnt even study more, my body was telling me to stop working, i have bad anxiety and I have been diagnosed with adhd. I wanted to do the exams, but for what? I know I wont get the perfect scores, and I have been having this stress and anxiety for nothing! Im going to do a degree of tech lab and biomedicine, its not a uni degree, but this way I can get to my desired uni, or even go to study abroad the degree I want! Its another opportunity to get myself together and make my dream come true, no Matter if I have 21 years old. I always wanted to study abroad and im going to make It, even if I failed twice this year.

[missishishi]

A Chance To Recharge From Academics

After a challenging month in the Regional Science High School 02, it was finally the start of the semestral break. This is the opportunity for the students to recharge themselves after a hard and rough month as they can enjoy their week without the thought of the academic pressure. It is also the chance for the students to rest their mind, body, and soul, and the chance to explore various hobbies and new interest such as, playing a musical instrument, playing a new sport, gardening, traveling, etc.

On the first day of the semester break, I slept comfortably in my own bed after a week of getting two hours of sleep everyday just to review for the periodical exams.

Waking up refreshed after my five hour nap, I immediately grabbed my phone and started scrolling through social media and checking out the latest post from people I follow.

I chatted with my friends all day through messenger instead of socializing with kids in my neighborhood because I really didn't want to leave the house for the sun was really hot and I couldn't risk of getting a sun burn and damaging my skin even more.

The day slowly went by and I got really bored. So, I tried finding my sister's guitar that she never used, and tried to play it. As I strummed the guitar I easily felt that playing the guitar was not for me, but I still continued to learn if ever I change my mind. With every awkward stroke on the strings, I knew that playing the guitar was not for me.

The next day, I really felt recharged because I kept on getting ten hours of sleep for the past two days.

I decided to hang out with the kids in my neighborhood but, when I went outside, I wasn't familiar with any of the kids there. It makes sense because I couldn't remember the last time I even went outside the neighborhood and socialize with others.

I decided about exploring another hobby, painting. When I opened the very vibrant 12 multicolor paint set, I was greeted with a somewhat foul smell from the paint. With a lot of thinking, I decided to draw a house.

With every proud stroke, the house didn't turn out the way I expected it to. It was not proportionate and turned slanty like the leaning tower of Pisa.

I stopped trying to discover new hobbies that day because I didn't feel like it. While looking around my room, an item reflecting the light caught my attention, I came closer to the item and picked it up. In my hands, I was carrying the Harry Potter books. With it, I started reading the books from book 1-2.

With evey turn of the page, I found myself captivated by the wizarding world and the plot of the whole series. It felt nostalgic reading the books again because it was all I did during the COVID-19 quarantine back in 2020.

When I got tired of reading, I turned on the TV and watched the Harry Potter movies this time. The characters and the spellbinding scenes came to life on the screen. The movies were more familiar to me than the books because, I mostly prefer watching than to read, so I didn't feel anything while watching the Harry Potter 1-2 movies because I've seen it a hundred times already.

On day three, my dad took me to my grandfather's farm and said that I should have experience in planting which I thought is unnecessary. He handed me a shovel and instructed me to dig. While trying to make a hole, something came out of the soil that scared me to bits! It was a frog! I dropped the shovel and ran far away from there. I just patiently waited for my dad to finish up planting the plant.

On that day, I took an afternoon nap because I felt like I deserved it after my encounter with the big frog farm.

The next day, I really wanted to go out with friends to the mall but I didn't have anyone to go with because I didn't have friends in my city. Therefore, I stayed inside and chatted with my friends all day as they tell what was happening with their lives.

On the fifth day of the sembreak, I got a notification that my Disney plus subscription was about to end on the 31 so, hmm what I did the whole day. I watched movies and series' the whole day and slept at 4 am the following day because I stayed up all night just to finish the Disney series that I watched.

The next day, I felt a little down because it was my last day in my city and I had to go back to my dorm the following day.

I decided that I would spend time with my grandparents instead of locking myself in my room.

After a few hours, I wanted to explore another hobby. Before that, I looked around my room for items available for calligraphy. As I swiftly stroked the pen, it suddenly broke. I guess it means calligraphy was not for me and I pressed the pen a little too hard.

I decided to find a new hobby to explore. I decided to cook a meal but instead, I burned the food along with the pan.

On the last day of the break, I felt sad because I had to go back to school.

As a person, I chose to sleep because I'll be sleep deprived again the following weeks and I wanted to make the best out of the break.

I learned that breaks are important because it was really the chance to relax, refresh, and let the mind, body, and soul rest. It's the opportunity for students to advance in lessons if they wanted to. I had the urg, but I didn't do it. It was also the opportunity to find a new hobby, unluckily, I haven't found a new hobby that I like this sembreak. And, it was also the chance to spend more time with family, friends, and loved ones.

[secret--psalms--saturn]

Tradition

Today we stop to give thanks.

Every 1st of May my family has a tradition of giving thanks. We wake up and pray, give thanks for the day, and pray for protection over our loved ones and ourselves. We call this day Maygivings.

After breakfast, we chatted about how we slept and what we look forward to that day. Our breakfast consists of a light affair, as well as lunch to be grateful for what we have. Papa’s coffee and mama’s freshly baked pastries fill the air as soon as we open our eyes. We refrain ourselves from scarfing down the warm crescent rolls or the raspberry tarts, especially when mama gives us that look.

Silence between us settles after we eat. Though my sister is still squirming, being 6 and all, it's nice to take in the bird and cicada sounds pouring in through the open window. The light sprinkles in illuminating the dust floating around. Papa’s solemn face as he closed his eyes made me curious. What was he thinking? What was he thanking God for?

Mama was equally as peculiar. She looked down with her eyes to her lap, and her hands clasped. She looks lost in thought, and for a moment I’m compelled to raise my voice. However mama looks up, catching my open mouth and silently shakes her head. I nod and look back down until Papa grunts and stands up.

”Alright kiddos, lets go to the lake”

It’s a good, 20 minutes to the lake? I think. My watch is a little glitchy now and again, but I’m a pretty good guesser. Autumn is swinging the basket with our lunch and dad is behind us. I love listening to the birds. I’m not great at bird identifying but I’m getting there. One day I will get to Papa’s level, who is mumbling under his breath, talking about how sweet morning doves sound, or how he looks forward to the cardinals.

Soon we get to the lake, and we are thankful for the safe travels and a beautiful day. We are thankful for nature and the cool lake. We take a moment to sit and take in the peaceful waters and the nice breeze. Papa then gives us the go ahead to wade in the water. He warns us not to be too rowdy, so my sister and I just decide to practice swimming.

After the cool waters entertained us for an hour, we ate PBJ sandwiches Mama made and snacked on some berries we picked the afternoon before. We give thanks as we ate, as Papa encouraged us to savor the meal and environment. I’m growing a little more accustomed to it; however Autumn doesn’t fully comprehend it.

When we get back, usually we do some quiet activities including reading or coloring. Papa reads scripture as Mama reads one of her books. Autumn is more prone to hopping between her books to drawing, and inevitably napping. I myself indulge in a mystery novel. I hardly can contain myself during those 2 hours, in participation of what’s next.

”Okay kids, let's get started!” I hear a call from downstairs from Mama.

It’s time to prepare for supper.

My favorite part of Maygivings is supper. Mama leads us into making the rolls as we get elbow deep in flour. We have fun cutting up veggies for soup, make rice over the stovetop, and giggling in between dishes. Meanwhile Papa is stuffing the goose and preparing it for the oven. I steal glimpses of Papa smiling, however never glancing over to us.

The smells are appealing, and the bites that me and Autumn are stealing in between our parent’s looks are feeding fire to our excitement. As we finish, covered in scraps and seasonings, we look at each other with satisfaction. As the time the cooking comes to an end, we set the table and chat a bit about our day. We give thanks for the day, and then help Mama bring the food to the center table. We start with going around and say what we appreciated for the last few months since the beginning of the year. Mama is thankful for healthy bodies. Papa is thankful for morning walks. Autumn is thankful for yummy food everyday. Me? I’m thankful for new books I get once a month.

We start with vegetable soup, and then move onto the main course with rice, rolls, and goose. The savory bites cause me to smile and Autumn to make little gleeful noises. Our parents give a soft chuckle. This dinner was now meant to celebrate happiness, abundance, and thanksgiving to what has been provided. We share stories and favorite memories, with kind but stern reminders not to talk with out mouths full. Finally, Mama pulls out the pudding she made last night and we dive right in. After full bellies, we give thanks once again.

We have our nightly baths and get ready for bed. One last prayer goes up after a story and a song from papa and mama.

Closing my eyes, I give a silent thanks to God.

The Chesterton Challenge: Day 1

Welcome to Day 1 of the Chesterton Challenge! The beginning of a month full of creativity! I can't wait to head on this journey with all of you!

Today's Optional Prompt is: Tradition.

Chesterton was an advocate for tradition in secular and religious contexts, and May 1st is a day associated with all kinds of traditions, from May Day to St. Joseph the Worker to the opening day of writing and art challenges.

You can interpret the word any way you want. Will you write about a fantasy world's traditions? Write an essay about your favorite springtime tradition? Create artwork within a traditional art medium? The sky's the limit!

Whatever you create, make sure to show us or tell us about it by reblogging or replying to this post.

Now go forth and create!

[gludgenbell]

Tell us about your your day! Did anything interesting happen?(answer by the end of the day)

04 12 2023;

I missed the bus for school so my sister dropped me and my brother off

My classes are biology, graphic design tech 2, participation in democracy and algebra 2-

So I started the day with biology and learned about the systems in the body; in depth

But it was a short day today so class was not an 95 minutes and I spent 6 minutes getting to my second period because it's at the back of the school

And all biology classes are at the front

I made my shirt yesterday for the shop my class is doing this Friday, and today was a crunch day

We finished more pre-orders, did keychains, more shirts, and stickers especially

I did some promotional video editing on the side

By lunch I was very hungry, was the first one in the cafeteria as usual and went to the wrong meetup spot (where my friends hang out)

Got a bit insecure that I'm always the last person to find out specific things even though I try to ask everyday, but it's whatever and we talked about a guy who didn't like women taking birth control

Because she'll piss it out and it'll end up in the tap water and then everyone will be drinking birth control

And we came to the conclusion that he just wants to be a dad so badly ✊️

Anyways

3rd period was fun, we're writing our own constitution and my friends and I are my teacher's prized group because we always make the projects fun

And now we're collaborating on a for fun storyline about a night school for Knights (because we had to design a school and we came up with: Knight of Bell; the Night School for Knights [18:00-00:00])

Anyways there's this chill guy Kjell who's always in my group and I'm just mentioning him because he's nice

Was late to my 4th, as always, today because I had to piss

Class went surprisingly well, I drew as per usual and worked on requests for my table mates because I mention commissions and they tell me no so a sketched easy request it is

Took the bus home and talked with another friend (she lives in my community) about the night school for Knights and the rival character

My sister picked me up from the bus stop, the dogs in tow, and we went around getting gummies and catching pokemon

I did some more writing for my story spirits of eden and then discussed with my mom possible shirt designs for our upcoming fundraiser (I'm going to Utah for our next next game maybe and since I'm already doing shirt work my parents think it'd be nice to use my art)

(In general also, if I want a shirt design my dad said he'd help me get what I need together)

Then I got nervous because all my art is sketchbook art and no real digital ones at the moment and I'd like to show actual art like everyone wants and I don't have much at the moment...

I asked my younger sister to help me with Mt laundry, then started a sketch of rukkadehvata (hope I spelt it right) and scheduled it for sometime saturday I think?

Around 7ish I started fixing my room; just putting my clothes away

All my siblings and both my parents were home so we gathered and decided to play fnaf 1 (we don't do this extremely often; it's always a treat when we get these nights together) and it was my turn at night 3

I didn't realize Freddy would move and my strategy did not account for him until I kept hearing his music and peeked at the stage

Only to find it

Completely empty

But I lived!

Freaking foxy jumped from phase 1 to 2 in under a second where I flipped the camera twice because I didn't get a good look the first time ����😒😒

In between that I was playing sky with my wives, and the night will end with me in my room, drawing Rukka again

I did not call with one of my wives as I usually do; but all is well! Another time another time

I'll sleep in an hour

[bellesowl]

kiss and make up

- multiple characters 

⤷ atsumu, sakusa

genre: (an attempt at) angst to fluff ; established relationship, timeskip 

synopsis: in which you have an almost relationship-ending argument

word count: 2.1k total - about 1k each

warnings: fighting (obv), being called a burden, the boys are kinda mean but they make up for it i swear

- a/n: tbh i was kinda getting sick of writing just fluff so i wanted to spice it up a lil! if this sucks i’m probably going to stick to fluff fics but i think it should be fine? this one also only has 2 characs cause idk how i would be at writing angst LMAO if this does well enough i’ll post the one i have written w kuroo and iwa <3 but i feel like this kinda sucks so oh well

- thank u @kybabi for beta-ing <3

- miya atsumu

you n atsumu have been together since high school which is why you’ve always been inseparable

you went to the same college & moved in together right after, but once he got his job with the jackals, he insisted that you didn’t work and focused on getting your master’s degree

you reluctantly agreed, if only to be able finish & earn your phd soon after

because atsumu is always busy, it’s kinda become commonplace for you to do the chores around the house- like doing the laundry or washing the dishes or cooking dinner for him

but it’s gotten to the point where he expects it

atsumu sighs, unlocking the door to your shared apartment. today’s practice was rough, it was a day of hard conditioning and bad sets and he wanted nothing more than a good meal and to cuddle. the first thing he noticed when he walked in was the mess. instant ramen bowls were scattered everywhere, empty coke cans and dirty napkins were all over the floor, and there you were, in the eye of the hurricane. the second thing he noticed was that there was no homecooked meal.

surprised, he walks into the dining room to see you, furiously typing away at your laptop with four different books surrounding you. you hear his footsteps and look up.

“hey baby! how was practice?” you ask with a smile

atsumu grunts in reply and gestures toward the kitchen, “so.. what’s for dinner babe?”

your eyes widen, “oh shoot! i’m sorry, i was so busy studying for this final that i forgot to cook. do you mind-“ you stop when you see him roll his eyes and head out.

“um, where are you going? you just got home?” you ask, following him.

“out. i have to get food somehow” he replies, “especially because my useless s/o can’t cook a goddamn meal for me” he mutters under his breath

you stop in shock because did he really just say that?

“i’m sorry, i don’t think i heard you right.” you start but he interrupts you

“i said, i have to go get food because someone is too busy to cook a goddamn meal. what do you even do anyways- well, besides spend my money? the least you can do is cook for me, god.” he finally turns to look at you but he feels his heart stop at the look on your face.

not wanting to escalate the situation any further, you try to calm him down, “tsum, hey, i’m sorry i forgot to cook okay? this is my last final before the year ends and i just can’t afford to fail it, so i’ve been studying all day. if you come back to the kitchen, i’ll make you something, okay?”

“i don’t want to eat your half assed attempt at a meal, y/n. the whole point is that you couldn’t get off your ass for an hour to cook when i make the money, i paid for the apartment, hell, i’m even paying for your school! is it really too much to ask for you to stop being such a burden and cook and clean everyday?” he fumed.

you gape at him, shocked that he would even say that. to hell with not escalating things

“at least i want to do something more with my life than hit balls around and retire at 35” you hiss, “and i do everything in this house! i do the laundry, i clean the bathroom, i cook - i do all the things you refuse to. and do i complain? no. i offered to get a job but you refused.”

you turn around to grab your laptop and your textbooks, “just- just do whatever the hell you want to, atsumu.” and with that you walk out the door.

atsumu’s heart drops when he realizes that you actually left. sure, you’ve had arguments here and there, but you’ve never left. he pulls out his phone to call you when he sees you’ve left yours on the counter. knowing there’s nothing to do but wait at this point, he begins to clean up and calls osamu over.

-

it’s already 3 am when you walk back into your apartment, and you blink multiple times when you open the door. it’s ... clean? you’re sure it was a mess when you left, so how would it be clean? you sigh, too tired to think about it more and walk into the kitchen. your eyes widen at the sight. not only is your favorite food on the stove, but there your boyfriend is, asleep on the dining table. you smile slightly, well that explains things.

“ ‘’mu, hey, wake up babe.” you kiss him lightly and shake him.

he grunts and sits up, “baby! i’m so so sorry for what i said. you are in no way, shape, or form a burden, i have no clue why i said that. today’s practice was just really tiring, but i know i shouldn’t have taken it out on you. just please-” he sighs, “just please don’t leave me again.”

your heart breaks your teary eyed boyfriend. “shh, of course baby. i’ll never leave you again okay?” you say, tugging on his arm, “cmon babe, let’s go to bed, okay?”

“mm okay my love.” he replies and practically pulls you into bed. “i love you, okay?”

“i love you too baby.” you reply

“to the moon and back?” he asks

“yeah, and to infinity and beyond.” you reply, your lack of sleep hitting you hard

“oh, i didn’t know i was dating buzz lightyear”

you let out a loud laugh and just like that you both fall into the same routine, love radiating off both of you in waves.

- sakusa kiyoomi

dating sakusa was,, challenging

it definitely took him a while to get comfortable with you

so you guys have been dating for a couple years now, and at this point he’s def clingy

however there still moments when he reverts to his old self

this just happened to be one of those times

“OUT! AND JUST LIKE THAT, EJP RAIJIN TAKES THE WIN AGAINST THE BLACK JACKALS!”

the stadium is silent before the ejp cheering section erupts in cheers. you stay silent, watching your team below. you watch as sakusa stills, still in disbelief. you make your way down, practically sprinting to your boyfriend.

he sees you on the sideline and makes his way over to you. you put on your biggest smile and attempt to make him feel better.

“you did great, kiyo! you’ll get them next time, yeah?” you beam, knowing how hard he’s been training to beat his cousin

he eyes you warily, not knowing what to say.

usually, sakusa gets pretty clingy after games, so you you move to give him a hug.

“don’t touch me” he barked, jerking away from you. “if you hadn’t been distracting me, we would’ve won.”

you stare at him, refusing to let the tears flow. you both turn when you hear a certain setter yelling at the opposing middle and you sigh.

“um, okay then. i’ll see you at home, yeah?” you ask

sakusa merely nods and makes his way over to his teammates. you look around to see if anyone saw what just happened and you lock eyes with your boyfriend’s cousin, who walks over.

“congrats on the win komori! you guys did so well!” you cheered

“thanks, y/n! and i’m sorry about kiyoomi. i’m sure you know he gets that way sometimes.” he explains

you smile and shake your head, saying that you’re used to it and you both bid your farewells. as you walk out of the stadium, you think back to how your boyfriend, the one person you loved with everything you had in you, utterly embarrassed you in front of his whole team. before you know it, silent tears start streaming down your face. 

you enter your home and immediately rush to the bathroom. you draw yourself a bath and make some dinner while waiting. you assume that kiyoomi wouldn’t be home to have dinner with you anyways- and now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you had dinner together. after you finish your bath and eat your dinner, you decide to wait up for boyfriend and watch a couple episodes of your favorite show to pass the time. 

-

kiyoomi walks into his apartment at around 1 am, completely and utterly exhausted. he kicks his shoes off and drops his bag on the floor. The rustling rouses you from sleep and you sit up.

“hey kiyo” you say with a yawn, “where’ve you been all night?” 

sakusa ignores you in favor of getting ready for bed and you frown when he brushes past you. 

“kiyo, babe, what’s wrong? you’ve been ignoring me all night and i-” you start but he interrupts you before you can finish. 

“god, just shut up, y/n. can’t you tell i don’t want to talk to you right now? i’ve already had the worst day, i don’t need you making it any worse.” he snaps

"kiyoomi, look, i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t take it out on me.” you reason, reaching out towards him, “listen, i’m here if you wanna-” 

“i said, do not touch me.” he seethes. “you are so fucking clingy y/n, lord, let me breathe a little.”

with those words, you explode. “you know what, sakusa,” he flinches when he hears his last name come out of your mouth, “i think i have the right to want to spend some time with my boyfriend! i haven’t seen you in god knows how long- you leave before i wake up and i fall asleep in an empty bed. i’ve been working my ass off to get some time off to watch your stupid volleyball game and what do you do? you embarrass me in front of your whole team!”

you sigh, wiping away the tears that continue that continue to fall. “listen, i don’t want to fight right now. i’m going to go stay at a friend’s house for the night, alright? i’ll see you tomorrow” you say, grabbing your purse. “if you’re even home tomorrow,” you add under your breath.

sakusa is in shock. the moment he saw your tears start to spill, he felt an undeniable and unrelenting ache in his chest that only seemed to grow with every work that came out of your mouth. and when the door shut? sakusa fell on his knees, his heart dropping. he truly couldn’t believe he said that to you. now all he had to do was wait till you got home.

-

2:38 pm - you check the time on your phone before pulling out your keys. you hope you made the right move, choosing to come back home while kiyoomi was still at practice. you open the door and the sight causes your eyes to widen.

there, on the couch with your favorite flowers in hand, is your boyfriend. he hears the door open and stands up abruptly.

“y/n, my love, i am so sorry. i truly cannot express how horrible i feel, and i cannot begin to understand how you feel.” he takes a deep breath, seemingly holding back tears. “i- i do love you. i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. i know i’m not the best at expressing it, but you mean the world to me- no, you are my world. without you, i don’t know what i would do. so please-” his voice cracks, “just, please give me another chance?”

you run towards your boyfriend, practically tackling him. “kiyo, baby, of course. i love you too, you know? you just can’t do that anymore, yeah? you shouldn’t feel like you have the right to embarrass me just because you had a bad day. and please, don’t call me clingy? i know i do stick to you like glue sometimes, but that’s just because i never see you anymore.” you reply.

“that will all change, darling.” he answers sincerely, “i’ll make more time for you, i swear. in fact, i’ll take the week off, how does that sound?” at the sight of your smile, he relaxes.

“that sounds wonderful, yoomi.” you answer

sakusa feels the weight that’s been dragging him down lift and he realizes the effect you have on him- you’re his breath of fresh air. he also realizes how utterly idiotic it was to push away the one person who could make him feel better.

it’s fine, he reasons, he’ll just never make that mistake again. he swears it.

[jungwonenthusiast]

can I please request for prompts 2, 5, 10, 12 for hard&soft dom!heeseung and an innocent!fem!s/o from enhypen smut prompt list? prompt no. 5 to be said by the reader while the rest by heeseung

A/N: forgive me if there r any typos lol i hope u like it :)

Warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f recieving), degredation, slight corruption kink

Word count: 2.4 k

You cling onto your boyfriend’s arm as another jumpscare appears on the movie screen. He giggles at you. “Is it gone yet?” you whisper and he nods.

Today was your four month anniversary with Heeseung and you decided to treat him by taking him to a scary movie he’s been wanting to see.You’re not a huge fan of them but you figured it’d be a way for you to cuddle him without raising too much suspicion.

He kept a hand on your thigh throughout the movie, occasionally squeezing and rubbing it over your pants.

You try to ignore the film by keeping your eyes on him. His hands, his legs, his hands, his profile. Anything to distract yourself from the poor family being killed on the screen.

It isn’t long before the movie ends and you walk out to Heeseung’s car.

“The brother was such an idiot. Why didn’t he just call the police?” he says while starting the engine. (haha engene lol sorry)

“The police can’t stop ghosts.” you chuckle.

“Maybe NASA could’ve figured something out.” he grabs your thigh again, it’s kind of his thing. “I’m surprised you survived.”

“Yup, my love for you overcomes my hatred for horror movies.”

He smiles and leans over to give you a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Let’s go to my place.” he says and you frown.

“But all the boys-”

He cuts you off. “The maknaes aren’t there, they’re paintballing in Itaewon.”

You groan. “Fine.”

The boys’ dorm is never your first choice which is understandable without elaboration. But you try not to get annoyed and instead enjoy living in the moment.

He has the windows cracked open and the wind is whipping through his hair, making him look like a moviestar.

Sunghoon and Jake are in their own rooms when you get there so at least there’s some peace and quiet.

Heeseung plops onto his bed. “Come here sweetheart.” he says with his arms out to you.

You smile and snuggle up to him, resting your head on his chest.

He pets your hair and kisses your forehead. “You’re so pretty.”

“You’re prettier.” you say and he chuckles.

“Nuh uh.” he says and sits up. “Lemme see your pretty face.”

You sit up too as he holds your face delicately in his hands. “You’re so gorgeous I wanna kiss you everywhere.” he kisses your forehead, then your cheeks, and your nose, your eyelids, then your jaw, and down, down, down your neck. Your heart beat starts to speed up. You never tell him, but your neck is your weakness. He finally pulls away to give you a proper kiss on the lips.

“C’mere.” he says and pulls you onto his lap. You let out a small squeal.

He holds your waist tight as he kisses you again, this time slipping his tongue into your mouth. You moan a bit, enjoying the sensation.

You guys had made out before and even grinded a bit but it never went further than that. Not because you didn’t want it. Of course you wanted it. There have been nights where you spent hours imagining what it would be like. You already knew that he’d be sweet, but you kind of wanted more than that. You wanted him to take control and boss you around. Maybe today will be the day, you think to yourself.

You start to slowly rock your hips against his and he lets out a low groan. His fingers travel up your hoodie and he’s delighted to find out that you aren’t wearing a bra. He massages you and pinches your nipples a bit as you grind on his hard on. You’re already so stimulated, you could cum just like this.

Heeseung’s curious as to why you’re acting like this today. Usually by now it’d be over, but why would he complain about you being naughty, especially when it’s been such a big fantasy of his to corrupt you. His darling little girlfriend who checks in with her parents everyday and wouldn’t dare to skip school all sprawled out under him, whimpering and begging for release. God, he could think about it all day.

He flips you onto your back and pushes your hoodie up, exposing your torso. Your arms fly to cover yourself.

“Stop that princess,” he kisses your stomach. “Let me see you.”

You slowly pull your arms away and he goes right to kissing your chest. “So perfect.” he whispers, rolling his tongue over your nipples.

You’re already squirming underneath him, eager for him to touch you somewhere else. And as if he read your mind, his fingers start to play with the band of your pants.

He quickly unbuttons them and slides them off your legs.

“Can I touch you?” he asks and you nod eagerly.

“I’ve never done this before.” you admit.

“That’s okay,” he kisses your knee. “Just relax.”

He kisses your neck, licking it and nipping at it, leaving a blooming bruise. Your body tenses as he circles your clit.

“I didn't know you were this sensitive.” he smiles.

You feel your face heat up. It’s kind of embarrassing. He was barely touching you plus it was on top of your underwear.

“I’m just teasing baby.” he kisses your cheek and continues the circling motion.

Soft moans leave your mouth as he does so. He pulls away and notices a wet patch already forming on your underwear.

His fingers slip into the waistband. “Can I touch you here?”

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “Please?”

“You submit to me so well,” he nips at your neck. “I love it.”

His fingers find your slit and you whine.

“So fucking wet,” he whispers as he rubs your clit. “Did I get you that worked up princess?”

You nod pathetically, already drunk on his touch.

He circles around your hole for a bit before slowly pushing his middle finger into you. You hold on tight to his arm, getting used to the foreign feeling.

He pumps it in and out of you a couple of times. “You ready for another one?”

You nod and whine as his ring finger stretches you out.

“You’re doing so good.” he whispers and kisses your forehead.

Your moans get more and more needy as he curls his fingers in you hitting a spot that you’ve never felt before.

“Fuck,” you whisper.

“Feel good?” he asks and you nod. “I bet it does.”

He shifts down and settles his face between your legs.

“Wait what are you doing?” you ask him, shutting your knees. “I want to taste you,” he says. “Is that okay?”

You contemplate for a moment. The thought of it makes you a bit shy but then you imagined how good it would feel and that won over everything. “Yeah.” you nod and he smiles.

His fingers are still curling in you as he kisses your thighs, leaving small marks on the way down to where you need it the most.

After what feels like years, his tongue finally finds your clit. Your thighs shut from the sudden pleasure.

He chuckles. “Keep em open baby.” he uses his free hand to keep you spread.

He moans into you. “Tastes so fucking good.”

It’s so much to take in at once; his fingers in you, his tongue drawing circles on your clit, the vibrations you feel every time he groans. You feel overstimulated but in the best way possible.

Your fingers tug on his hair as your thighs begin to tremble.

“Don’t stop don’t stop,” you cry out.

His grip on you tightens and he moans into you, encouraging you to cum in his mouth.

A string of curse words leaves your lips as you reach your high, and it’s the hardest you’ve ever came in your life. It’s like you’re floating up in the clouds, and you never want to come back down.

Heeseung kisses you, giving you a taste. He holds you tight in his arms and tries to calm your shaky breathing.

“You did so good doll.” he kisses your cheek.

You hold onto him as your heart rate goes down to normal.

“Here let me go get you a towel.” he starts get off the bed but you grab his arm.

“Wait we’re done?” you ask and he looks at you. “Do you wanna keep going?” he asks and you nod.

“Yes,” you say and he chuckles.

He sits back down onto the bed. “I didn’t expect that.”

You climb on top of him and give him a passionate kiss, sliding your hands under his hoodie.

He pulls it over his head with ease.

You admire his lean body for a moment before kissing his neck and his collar bones. “Can you fuck me please?” you ask him.

He smirks. “Your wish is my command.” he flips you over onto your back and unbuttons his black jeans. Just watching him do it makes you wet.

He climbs over you, rubbing his tip on your clit. He sighs into your neck.

“You ready princess?” he asks and you nod vigorously.

He slowly pushes into you and you wince a bit from the stretch.

“Ow ow ow.” you say quietly and he stops.

“You okay? Does it hurt a lot?” he asks.

“It’s not bad.” you say through gritted teeth.

He kisses you, giving you time to adjust to his length. He pets your hair and tells you how gorgeous you look.

“Please start moving.” you ask him and he listens, slowly thrusting in and out of you.

“Fuck,” he moans. “So fucking tight.”

You whimper so loud as his tips brushes against your g-spot that you clamp your hand over your mouth, worried that Sunghoon and Jake would pick up on what was going on.

He pulls your hand away. “Be louder, I want them to hear you.”

“But-”

“Do as I say sweetheart.” he cuts you off.

Of course you melt under him. How could you not. He’s so perfect. He’s the type of boy that only exists in books.

“What a good girl,” he kisses your shoulder. “Look how well you take it.”

You grab a pillow and cover your face with it, you can’t help but want to conceal your moans.

He throws it off and grabs your jaw hard. “What’d I say about that? Don’t you want them to know how much of a slut you are for me?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Speak up when I talk to you.” he says sternly. His words make you throb and he notices. “Do you like it when I’m mean?” he smirks at you.

“Yeah,” you admit, sheepishly.

“There you go again being all quiet, keep that up and I’ll edge you until you’re begging.” he threatens you with a good time.

“What if I want you to do that anyway.” you say flirtatiously.

He raises an eyebrow. “I can make that happen.”

His thumb finds your clit and the sensation of him rubbing you and his cock ramming in and out of your pussy sends you so close over the edge.

The look on your face is so angelic and hopeless, you’re better than anything he could imagine.

“You’re so fucking perfect.” he kisses you. “You look so pretty while being fucked.”

He snaps his hips into yours and your eyes roll back.

“Just like that.” you whine.

“How bad do you want it?” he asks you.

“So bad,” you say out of desperation. At this point you don’t care. Heeseung had taken over your mind, ego, and pride. “You feel so fucking good inside of me.”

He smiles. “How could such a sweet voice say such dirty words.” Then all of the sudden he pulls out. You nearly cry out from the unexpected emptiness.

“What the fuck,” you swear at him.

“You’re the one who asked for this.” he says, still slowly rubbing your clit.

You whimper. “I take it back. I need you.”

“No take backs sweetheart.” he tsks.

He kisses your chest and pinches at your nipples. You writhe under him, needing him in you.

After what feels like an eternity but is probably a minute or so, he slams back into you and right after being satisfied, he pulls out again.

“Heeseung please,” you whine. “Please I’ve been good haven’t I?”

“You have, but I like doing this to you.” he kisses you. “Who knew my innocent girl would be begging for my cock like this.”

You pull at his waist. “I need it.” you tell him in the sweetest voice you could get out.

He sighs. “I’ll never win.” he kisses you again before pushing into you.

“Fuck yes,” you moan in relief. “Faster please.”

Thank god he listens to you.

You cling onto his back, pushing your nails into his skin a bit. It only takes thirty seconds to get you on the edge and Heeseung can tell by the way your moans are getting high pitched.

“Cum on this cock sweetheart,” he says lowly. “Be a good girl for me.”

And just like that, your whimpering his name like it’s the only word you know; like it’s your mantra.

“That’s it baby,” he whispers. “Just like that.”

Your pussy pulsing around him sends him into euphoria and he groans into your neck.

You don’t even realize the tears on your cheeks until he pointed it out. He looks at you in shock and holds your face in his hands. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Fuck I’m so sorry pumpkin I-”

“No no it just felt really good,” you giggle. “I didn’t even know I started crying.”

“Oh thank god,” he sighs in relief and kisses your forehead. “You’re the best pussy I’ve ever had you know.”

You laugh. “Stop it, you sound like a man whore.”

“Just being honest.” he smiles and pulls you into his arms.

“Shit,” you curse to yourself.

“What is it?”

“Jake and Sunghoon definitely heard us.” you say, wide eyed.

“Yeah probably,” he says “they probably got off on it too.”

Your face twists in disgust and you shove him in the shoulder.

He cackles. “I mean wouldn’t you?”

You think to yourself. “Yeah I probably would.”

[lilxberry]

Getaway B-Day B.J. - Montgomery ‘Monty’ De La Cruz*

Requested By: @vintagemac94

Thank you so much I don’t mind the wait it’s totally cool🌸. I was thinking Monty x Oc (female) Oc goes out of her way to plan a super romantic getaway for Monty’s birthday to make him feel extra special since he never had that growing up due to his childhood.

 P.s I’m not opposed to smut just saying lol🤷🏻‍♀️but I’m giving you complete creative freedom to decide whether you want to add that or not it’s your choice😘.

I didn’t do a full smutty thing but I feel like it works better like this. I hope this is what you were looking for and I apologise if it hadn’t met what you had wanted.

Also, it wasn’t really an OC since I don’t really write them. I even plan on editing works what I have written as OC’s to reader inserts, just to make things more inclusive for everyone. There wasn’t detailed descriptions of appearance within this and I certainly hadn’t added a scenario where the readers name would be said but I just thought I would clear up that it indeed wasn’t an x OC

Warnings: Language. Semi SMUT (since it was only a blowie *wink wonk*). Alludes to SMUT. A singular mention of Bryce (I mean, c’mon).

Words: 2,983

Pairings: Montgomery ‘Monty’ De La Cruz x reader (female reader)

_______________

The sun casts a warm glow, bathing the room in a soft morning orange hue, illuminating your sleeping boyfriends’ figure, highlighting those sharp features that just seem so much softer as he rests. Short, relaxed puffs of air pass through his parted lips and his chest rises and falls in a calm even manner.

A smile works its way on to your face as you admire Monty in such peace and serenity. You bring your small, dainty hand up and run it along his face, gently brushing over his cheek, jaw and bottom lip that’s pouted. Slowly working along his brows and forehead, a soft grunt forces your smile to widen uncontrollably.

His eyes flutter open, his lashes kissing his cheeks each time. With much difficulty, he manages to keep one eye lazily open, gazing at you as he squints at the light that seems all too bright for someone who is only just rousing from their slumber.

A dazed smile forms across his own lips and his chest rumbles with a chuckle. “Morning,” he grumbled, voiced still laced with sleep causing his tone to be deeper. You bit your plump bottom lip just thinking of how you could listen to that voice all day.

“Good morning, birthday boy,” you cheerily replied. His chest vibrated with a chuckle once more before closing his eye and wrapping him arm around your waist, pulling you in closer and pushing his face into your hair, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head.

You hummed in contentment as you buried your face within his chest, enjoying the warmth radiating from his body. You stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, legs entangled for many more minutes before deciding to finally starting your weekend surprise for your boyfriend.

“Monty,” you cooed softly. “We gotta get up.”

Monty groaned in protest, tighten his hold on you causing you to chuckle at his childish antics. “C’mon baby, we gotta go.”

With an overdramatic huff, he released his hold on you and turned to lie on his back, throwing his left arm over his face, covering his eyes. “I thought it was my birthday. Why do we have to get out of bed, baby?” You could practically already hear the remark he’s about to say that will no doubt be accompanied by a smirk. “I know plenty of reasons to stay put.”

You shook your head and chuckled as you slapped his chest playfully. “You are insatiable.” Clambering out of bed, you already miss the warmth it provided as you made your way into the bathroom, adding an extra sway to your hips, knowing full well Monty was watching you.

“Get up or we’re going to be late for what I have planned,” you called out to him from the bathroom as you tore your, more specifically Monty’s, t-shirt off, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. Before he could retort back or ask what on Earth you had planned, you speak once more. “We still have time to shower though, if you’d like to join me,” you sung out in a sweet melody.

You heard him throw the sheets off of his body, some fumbling around, a loud thump which was followed by him cursing ‘fuck’ and rushed footsteps, causing you to giggle. He arrived in the bathroom faster than a greyhound whippet and was hasty in slamming the door shut and locking it behind him.

_______________

“How didn’t I notice a load of my clothes were missing?” Monty hollered from where he was loading up the two bags you had packed for the weekend into the trunk. His face was absolutely comical, full of confusion yet showing that he had actually been quite impressed.

You shook your head as you checked over once more that you had everything on you before closing and locking the front door to your house. “Because the only things you ever actually care to take notice of are butts, boobs, booze and baseball,” came your snarky remark.

Closing the trunk, he turned to you with the most innocent looking expression he could muster and begins to take tantalisingly slow steps towards you where he eventually places his hands upon your hips. “Only your butt and boobs though, babe.”

You snorted and pushed at his chest, walking around him to climb into the drivers’ seat of the blue Toyota Camry. Before you could place your behind on to the comfortable car seat, you heard a resounding ‘SMACK’ and felt a stinging sensation on your left ass cheek.

“OW!” you shouted, only resulting in Monty throwing his head back in hysterics as he rounds the car to get inside himself. You shake your head although the small smile that dances across your lips in enough to give away that you were anything but upset with him.

Closing the door once fully sat down, you pull your seatbelt over your torso and secure it before placing the keys into the ignition and turning to start the car. Monty had already made himself quite comfortable with the window fully rolled down and the Bluetooth of the car connect to his phone where he scrolls through his Spotify, debating which of the many songs will be blasted through the speakers first.

Releasing the handbrake and pushing down on the acceleration, you begin the 3-hour long drive to your destination where you’ll spend 3 blissful days away with your boyfriend.

_______________

About 2 minutes away from your destination, you had told Monty to close his eyes and to keep them as so until you said. Driving along, you could feel how the road had changed from smooth tarmac to a more coarse, natural trail.

Passing the final cluster of trees and emerging to right in front of where you had booked for you and Monty for the weekend, you slowed to a stop, pulling up the handbrake and turning the keys, removing them from the ignition.

“Psst, you can open them now,” your teasing whisper caused his eyes to shoot open, only for them to widen a moment later at what sat a few feet in front of you both.

A beautiful, modern wooden lodge surrounded by dense woods. It was surprisingly large, even for something that was described as small. The tenant you had rented it off had claimed that everything in and surrounding the gorgeous, homely location was at your dispense and can be used however you see fit, including the shimmering, clear lake that was a simple 9 minute walk from the lodge itself.

“I, uh, I don’t understand.” You could see the confusion on his features and his gaze alternated between you and the getaway home.

“It’s ours for the weekend, baby. Do you like it?” You bit your lip in anticipation, desperately wanting him to be happy with what you had done for him.

He nodded as he searched for words, stuttering. “I-I don’t…Why?”

“I wanted to treat you on your birthday. Plus, I get a whole weekend with you to myself so, I suppose I also treated myself.” Your smile was just as breath-taking as the lodge, he thought. In a blink of an eye, he leaned over the centre console and crashed his lips to yours, causing you to hum in appreciation.

“God, I love you,” he breathlessly whispered.

“Good, ‘cause I love you, too.”

_______________

You both were now unpacking, putting clothes away for the weekend and what food you had packed was now stored within the kitchen and large pantry along with whatever food was left for you to utilise from the tenant.

Seeing as you had been together for a solid 2 and a half years, you knew that Monty had a lack of attention and affection when it had involved not only his everyday life, but his birthday. Of course, his friends such as Bryce always had insisted on throwing him parties, massive ragers with an unsavoury amount of alcohol and an abundance of people in attendance.

But this year, you wanted it to be more meaningful, more special. You wanted your boyfriend to truly understand how important he is to you and how much you love him, although, nothing could ever actually amount to how much you do love him.

Plus, you promised Bryce and the others that they could have him for the whole weekend after, which Bryce had surprisingly agreed to quickly.

As you were folding away the last item of clothing, you felt arms snake around your waist from behind causing you to jump ever so slightly before relaxing in your boyfriends embrace. He chuckled as he buried his nose into the crook of your neck, occasionally pecking your shoulder with soft kisses.

“I never thought I’d say this but,” he started, lowering his voice to a playfully seductive whisper as he brought his lips up beside your ear. “You make doing laundry look so fucking sexy.”

You laughed as you placed the now folded t-shirt into the draw and push it close before turning whilst still in his hold, raising your hands to place them against his broad, chiselled, sun-kissed chest that’s hidden beneath a dark grey t-shirt. “Oh yeah? Just wait ‘til you see me make the bed.”

He chuckled once more, the deep sound exciting you more than it should before pulling you flush against his towering form and slowly melding his lips against yours, the speaker you had connected to earlier that was within the room quietly continues playing your music from one of your many playlists on Spotify.

Unsurprisingly, the kiss had quickly become deep and more needy. You right hand stayed firm planted upon his pec, nails slightly digging into his flesh causing him to his. You left hand had travelled upwards and began to run through his hair, tugging on it slightly as your nails occasionally rake over his scalp in a satisfying motion.

Him, on the other hand, hand allowed him to wander down over your hips, caressing the small of your back and finally finish at your round behind, firmly grasping and kneading at it, forcing you to moan wantonly which was muffled by his mouth on yours.

Your heads tilt in opposite directions, allowing the kiss to be deepened. A firm, harsh slap to your right cheek made you gasp, Monty taking that as the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue in, swirling it around yours, resulting in more moans to emit from you.

In a quick motion, Monty lowered his hands down to the back of your thighs, swiftly raising you up, your legs quickly wrapping around his waist as he walks forward, eventually setting you down atop the mahogany draws.

Separating from the kiss for a brief moment, he swiftly removed your top, leaving you in just your shorts and lace trimmed bra, your mounds now on display. Monty quick you a few more quick kisses before trailing his lips across your jaw and down to your neck, sucking at biting harshly as the soft skin that’s showcased, lapping up the areas after once satisfied with the marks he’s left, soothing the ache slightly.

Moments pass by where he continues his assault on your neck which is now littered with fresh love bites, the bright red marks that will soon transform into deep purple bruising. Once again, he moves further down and begins to ravage the mounds of flesh that isn’t covered by your bra, repeating the same actions he had done to your neck. Making quick work of unclipping your bra, the material shifts from covering your breasts, straps sliding down your arms, exposing your perked nipples to the chilled air.

Mouth forming an O shape, moans carelessly escape you, your eyes shut tight, and head thrown back. You tug at the hem of his t-shirt, signifying that you want it gone. He quickly complies, detaching himself from you again to pull it up and over his body, haphazardly throwing it to the side. You used that time separated to allow the bra to completely slip off of your arms and let it fall to the ground.

He moves back to reconnect his lips to yours, his hips rutting against your own as his hands explore every inch of exposed skin. Your left hand is back within his hair, tugging roughly as your right claws down his back causing him to groan.

Your violent, passionate, lustful kiss finally ended and all you could do was breath heavily, chest heaving, as were his. “Bed,” you rasped out. Monty, needing no further prompts, yanked you up with brute strength and dragging you over to the comfier set of furniture within the room.

Before reaching the freshly made bed, you pulled at his arm, turning him to face you before kissing him roughly once more, one hand grasping his cock through his jeans as the other begins to work on his belt and zipper. Walking him backwards, the back of his knees soon meets the edge of the mattress, forcing his to fall back and land on his back.

Just as he was about to sit up, you pushed him backwards whilst you tutted at him with a seductive, playful smirk. “Now, now, birthday boy. Time for another present.”

His eyes clouded over with lust, his eyes became lidded, and a primal groan erupted from him. Popping the buttons of your shorts, you hooked your thumbs into the waistband and began to glide the material over your hips, bum, and thighs at an antagonising pace. Once lowered enough, you release them and allow them to pool at the floor around your feet, leaving you in nothing but the lace trimmed underwear that matched your bra.

You step towards him, leaving your shorts forgotten on the floor behind you and lower yourself to your knees between his spread, jean clad legs. You slide your hands along the expanse of his thighs, dragging your nails to withdraw another groan from him. Finally reaching the waistband of his own bottoms, you grip and tug feverously, Monty lifting his lips to assist you in removing both his jeans and boxers in one swift motion.

The moment his hardened dick sprang free from its confinements and slapped against his lower stomach, he sighed in relief, his eyes fluttering close as he falls back on to the bed, legs still hung over the edge.

Grasping it within your smaller, smooth hand, you give it a few gentle tugs before kitten licking the swollen head of his cock. Monty raises himself to lean back on his elbows and observe you, breathing slightly ragged, sheets loosely balled up in his fists.

Feeling you’ve teased him quite enough, you slowly begin to take him in your mouth, inch by inch until you reach the base of his cock, the tip of your nose touching his pubic area. He grunts as you pull away, only to take him all once again. And again. You repeat the action at a steady pace as one hand rests atop his thigh for stability and the other occasionally grasping his balls for added stimulation before slowly building up momentum, his dick sliding in and out of your warm, wet mouth and hitting the back of your throat.

“That’s it, baby,” he lustfully growls as one hand comes up to fist your hair in his firm grip. You hum around his length in appreciation, sending a pleasurable vibration to his dick causing him to buck up into your mouth and tighten his grip on the sheets beside him. “Fuck.”

All too soon, your pace becomes unrelenting, chasing after his climax with vigour, eager to make him cum. Sinful sounds come from where his dick slides in and out pass your lips, your saliva coating his cock.

At this point, Monty’s heavily breathing and constantly groaning and grunting in pleasure, his hips jerking upwards, forcing you to take as much of him as you can. A few more thrusts into your sweet mouth nearly does the trick, but it’s the moment that his eyes lock with your own with your lips wrapped around him perfectly, taking him so well that finally pushes him over the edge, falling back against the mattress as his body tenses and his hips continue to thrust upwards.

You continue to suck, drawing out his orgasm and milking him dry, sending him into a state of pure euphoria. You finally release his slowly softening dick with a satisfying pop, wiping the small amount of saliva and cum that had escaped and dribbled down your chin away.

Crawling up, you straddle his hips and lay your body atop of his, giving him sweet, tender kisses along the underside of his jaw. His eyes is still closed as he finally comes down from his climax, regulating his breathing once more. “How’re you feeling baby?”

“Fucking amazing,” he breathlessly replies, cracking open his eyes slightly and giving you a lazy grin as he looks up to you now that you’ve lifted yourself to look at his flushed face.

You smile down at him, bringing your one hand up to cup his cheek and caress his cheekbone with your thumb. “Good,” you whisper against his lips before planting a slow, love filled kiss to them.

He seemed to have quickly regained his stamina during the short amount of time you both laid there as he quickly ensnares you with his arms around your waist. You look down towards him with a raised eyebrow and he grins wolfishly. “Time for my next present, baby.”

With that, he flips the two of you over eliciting a squeal of excitement and anticipation from, him now hovering over you. He nips at your neck and growls deeply causing girlish giggles to escape from you. And to think, that was only within the first hour of your weekend getaway for Montys’ birthday.

_______________

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I haven’t written for 13RW in so long

It feels even crazier that I had a request for it lmao

There isn’t much to say on this honestly

I just went with the flow, even if that flow be a bit choppy, yanno

Also, this is like the 4th request I’ve posted in the last 3 days and I’m absolutely shocked

If you’d like to be added to a taglist lemme know

Anywho, I hope you enjoyed

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

[lubdubsworld]

Falling for you ( Falling from Grace) Jungkook x OC

Summary : Friends with benefits? Or maybe Enemies who just happen to be each other’s best fuck? Areum and Jungkook love driving each other crazy, but also can’t keep their hands off each other.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6

Chapter 7

“A two hour lunch break and a limp? You’ve been busy , I see.....” Hobi remarked mildly , when I slinked back to my desk, thighs still shaking . 

I winced when I sat down, glaring at him.

“I sprained my ankle....” I snapped, internally cringing at the ridiculous lie. 

“While riding his dick? How did that happen?? ” Hoseok rolled his eyes and before I could pretend to be properly outraged he continued, “ No matter.... i want you to compile those memos from last week and write up the report for last week’s meeting. The minutes are in the file.” 

I didn’t particularly enjoy my job or hate it. It was just something I did to make money and I was fine with that. As a kid I’d had some vague dreams of being a photographer and while I did occasionally take my camera out to click candids of my family or the occasional cherry blossom tree, it wasn’t a major component in my life. 

Or at least, it hadn’t been, for the two and half years I’d worked here. Right about the time I started sleeping with Jungkook. I stared at the screen, feeling myself drown in the redundant words. It wasn’t that I didn’t imagine a life with Jungkook.....but... I wasn’t sure if we would work well, as a couple. I had never been on a date with him , never met each other for anything that didn’t end in mutually ( enjoyable ) orgasms and just.... most of the time we did piss each other off incredibly. 

But I could feel the clock ticking....I wasn’t really a co ed anymore, was I? There was more to a relationship than just sex and ... I wanted it. Of course I did....

I couldn’t spend the rest of my life doing this with Jungkook. But I couldn’t for the life of me, imagine not  doing this with him. 

And in the wake of that thought came the thought I had always avoided.

 What if I could have both? What if I could have the dirty , raunchy , mindblowing sex , along with the Sunday brunches, picnics in the park and skinny dipping in the pool at midnight? 

What if, possibly, Jungkook could be the one I had dinner with on a Friday night? What if he was the one I woke up to everyday, made pancakes for and with, smearing flour on each other’s noses as we chased each other around the kitchen in our PJs?

 Fuck. 

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook was busy for a couple of days with his training and I couldn’t get a chance to meet him . On the day before his supposed match, he told me he wanted to ‘unwind’ . Would I be kind enough to join him for the night? 

I agreed, 

My phone buzzed, just as I stepped out of the shower. I rolled my eyes at the ridiculous contact name that Jungkook had probably put in himself. 

 From Hungkook 

You have an appointment tonight m’lady. 

An appointment to ride this dick.

On my terms.

You’re gonna stay over right?

 I scoffed at the last bit., When had it ever  not  been on his terms?? I ran the towel through my hair before carefully coating my fingers with lotion and threading them through the damp strands. 

~~~~

From me,

When did you change your fucking contact name , dickhead. Yes, I’ll stay over and we’re meeting at 7.00 PM right?? Will you pick me up?

~~~~

From Kook,

 Wasn’t me.... must’ve been you subconsciously. Don’t tell me you aren’t thinking about how big I am,  all the fucking time. 

I’m still  setting stuff up. Get a cab. Or I can send my chauffeur if you want? 

~~~~

From me,

 No. I’ll drive myself over. 

~~~~

From Kook,

Wear something easy to take off. c u. 

~~~~

Jerk, I thought fondly. Staring at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t help but feel incredibly vulnerable. I wanted to talk to Jungkook about us. And I would.... eventually. When I felt ready enough.... 

For tonight, I would indulge him. .  

I had gone the extra mile today, soaked in the tub for a whole hour so my skin was completely imbibed with the  scent of strawberries and cream, with little whiffs of lavender. The body scrub had done its job and my skin fairly glowed, plump and soft. 

I decided to forego makeup, only putting on the barest minimum : some gloss and a moisturizing spray. I grabbed the short kimono style dress from the closet, slipping it on without anything underneath. 

I stared at myself from all angles, just to make sure I was still decent. Not that it would matter. Jungkook’s condo had a private elevator that no one but he used . Perks of owning the entire apartment complex , I guessed. I hesitated before rummaging through the  small jewelry box I kept hidden in the back of the closet. 

It had a small necklace, the only gift I’d ever accepted from Jungkook. I stared at the small , pendant : a small heart with the words, JK’s engraved on it. It had been a gag gift, meant to aggrieve me during one of our ridiculous spats. But i traced the words and wondered why the prospect of belonging to him didn’t feel quite as infuriating as it used to . 

Slipping it on, I quickly grabbed my wallet and keys. 

Well, time to get this show on the road. ‘

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook opened the door, freshly showered, dressed in a white linen shirt, a few sizes too big and opened half way through. As always, a glimpse of his gorgeous face was all it took for arousal to pool in the pit of my stomach. I smiled at him.

“Hi.” I grinned.

He stared at me for a second taking a deep breath.

“Jesus, you smell fucking delicious....What  is that?” He groaned, grabbing my wrist and tugging me in. I followed him to the dining space, blinking when I saw the two small glasses of wine. 

“Ooh...fancy. Looks like you’re looking to spoil someone tonight. “ I teased. 

“Yeah, just had my girlfriend over. You must’ve run into her on the way up.” He winked and I shook my head, laughing as I grabbed one, taking a small sip. 

“So....? Should we get started....”

Jungkook hummed, grabbing the satin ribbon tie that held my dress together and tugging on it gently. I kept my eyes trained on his face , just so I wouldn’t miss the look on his face when the fabric fell apart. 

He didn’t disappoint. 

Doe eyes widened in shock, lips parting in a sharp little exhale as he stared at me, completely naked in the golden spool of light, cast by the small chandelier overhead. 

“Oh fuck.....is that...?” He lightly pulled the pendant at the base of my throat, staring at the inscription.

“Thought it may turn you on....” I shrugged. Jungkook’s eyes ran up and down my body and I felt an inordinate thrill at how open he was with how much he enjoyed looking at me, even though it was far from the first time. 

“That’s my biggest weakness, darling......I’m always turned on for you...” He grinned , winking. 

“So should we go open that toy box of yours?” I prompted when he stepped closer. 

“Hmm... Not like this. “ He grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and off his torso before carefully slipping it on me. “ I can’t concentrate if you’re standing here without clothes on.” 

 The linen shirt, big on Jungkook’s broad frame , practically swallowed me up, hanging somewhere near my knee. I watched the way his pupils dilated when he stared at me.

“Fuck... you in my clothes.... This may be worse than you being naked...” He said, sounding slightly strangled. 

I flicked his forehead playfully.

“I’m beginning to think you’re just stalling.... ” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Nope, just thinking of a couple of drawings I could make with this particular shirt on you.” 

I felt my insides quiver as I remembered the art and the very enjoyable time I’d had seeing all of it. 

“If you hurry up , I may model for you. “ I said casually and Jungkook froze.

“Better not joke about that, Areum...” He said harshly.

“Well, what if I’m not?” 

“Are you?”

“Only one way to find out.” I smiled, yelping when his arms shot out, wrapping around my thighs and throwing me over his shoulder as he stalked over to the bedroom.

I whined because his shoulder blades dug into my tummy , feeling slightly dizzy from all the blood rushing to my head.

I stumbled a bit when he set me down , blinking to orient myself. I stared around at the room, my throat going dry. 

The bed was covered in satin sheets in a rich shade of burgundy . The entire room was lit only from the backlight in the bedframe, low and demure as it lit parts of the bed while the rest of room stayed plunged in darkness. An ornate table stood right next to the bed with what looked like a hundred or so sex toys and I flushed red, my face heating up. 

I felt my heart begin to pound inside me. 

It was so foreign, this desperate sort of anticipation, something I didn’t usually feel because this was Jungkook and I knew him ....knew his body better than my own. 

“Well, since you wanted to pick the toys we’d use today....”

“No.” I whispered softly.

“What?”

I turned to him , smiling before carefully walking over to the bed and climbing on. I crawled to the center before carefully sitting down on my heels, kneeling. 

“You can pick.”  I shrugged. 

Jungkook stared at me thoughtfully.

“You’re joking.” He said softly.

“I trust you.” I replied. 

His eyes widened, lips parting. He licked his lips, before tugging his lower lip between his teeth. 

“Really? You trust me?” He asked, looking incredibly skeptical.

“I do. “

“Trust that I ....?” 

“That you won’t hurt me.”

“Hmm... I’ve gone soft on you haven’t I? Haven’t left bruises on that perfect body in a while... “ He said casually and I felt my heart jerk a little. 

Earlier in our relationship, Jungkook had always skirted the edge of too much, sometimes leaving marks and bruises  that lingered for weeks after our sexcapades. And he was right...we had toned it down the past few weeks,

“Even then...You never did anything I didn’t want.” I pointed out. 

He smiled.

“That’s true... my pretty little slut, you wanted every single one of those bruises, didn’t you?”

I nodded.

“I did...” 

“So , I can just go pick any toy I want and you’ll let me put it on you....?  In you?” He prompted. 

“I trust you.” I said again. 

He narrowed his eyes at me  before moving slowly to the table. I stared back, holding his gaze as I watched him carefully pick up something from the table.

My heart dropped when I saw the small flogger, his ivory fingers curling on the handle as he carefully, swatted the inside of his other palm with it.

“You sure you’re up for this?” He brought the flogger down on the bed with enough force to make the sheets crackle and the noise was so sharply frightening that I couldn’t help but jump a little.  I flinched so bad, my lips wobbled.

He watched the way I was shaking and scoffed.

“Thought so, fragile little thing like you could never--”

“Yes.” I snapped, willing myself to stay calm. “Yes.” 

Jungkook’s gaze snapped to mine. 

“Color?”

I swallowed, trying to get my senses together. I calmed myself down, trying to think rationally instead of impulsively. 

“Green.” I whispered. 

He hummed. 

I watched as he grabbed a small vibrator , holding it up for me to see., I shrugged, 

“I told you ...I trust you. Looks like you don’t trust yourself... What’s the matter, Jeon,  too chicken to be a real man?  “ I whispered.

His gaze narrowed dangerously. 

He moved briskly to the table and grabbed things quickly. I bit my lips as I saw the nipple clamps, the small whip, the handcuffs and the pinwheel among other things. 

I pulled my gaze away from the toys and stared at him. 

“If anyone can make me enjoy those things...its you.” I whispered and his eyes softened visibly.

“Fuck...don’t say shit like that....” He whispered.

I laughed a little, nodding. 

“Okay. “ I agreed. 

He grabbed a small strip of cloth from the table and held it up between his hands. 

“I’m going to put this on you first. “

I nodded, as familiar with the thick, satiny length of it as i was with my own skin. Jungkook sometimes liked using it to tie my wrists together , especially when he intended to take his time. 

i held my hands out but he shook his head, holding it up and then placing it over my eyes. 

I faltered a little when my vision went black, swallowing as the scent of his bodywash hit me, his body just a few inches away and the urge to touch was so strong , my mouth watering with the urge to run to my lips all over his delectable body. 

He finished tying the fabric at the base of my skull and pulled away. I felt the bed dip as he moved away. 

“ Take that shirt off.” 

I grabbed the hem and stripped quickly, tossing the shirt aside. 

“Lie down. On your back.” 

I nodded before doing just that, letting my arms rest on the side, palms facing up. 

The sound of the flogger cracking through the air made me wince. 

“You’ve ever been hit with one of these....” His voice came from somewhere to my right and I bit my lips, shaking my head.,

“Use your words doll....” 

The nick name made me squirm. 

“No.”

I jumped when I felt the soft strips of the blogger brush against my thigh, so gentle it felt like a kiss. 

“Hmm.... I want you to stay quiet from now unless i ask you something and you will only say, yes or no. Got that?”

“Yes.” 

“Good girl.” 

I felt like I was over heating, my body thrumming with anticipation.

“i don’t use it too often because I prefer my hands. Like bringing it down on the curve of your ass or maybe your thighs.....Nothing quite as satisfying as feeling that soft flesh give under your palm, hot and burning. And man the way the red just blooms on the surface when i pull away....addicting.”

His fingers closed over my thigh and squeezed. 

I jerked a bit. 

“It hurts at first....but it also feels good. A good , fiery burn that makes you feel alive .... that makes your skin thrum with life....and after the tenth hit, the pain is so numbed down that your mind only experiences the pleasure ..... “ 

I bit my lips to stop myself from saying anything. 

“The pinwheel is what really hurts.” I felt the sharp prick of it on my cheek, and i jerked back a bit., “  It’s very sharp and precise....like the stab of a hundred needles on your body...I like using it between the thighs....You know, right on that swollen little nub in the middle.... usually makes the girl lift right off the bed....”

He chuckled .

I was panting a bit, every word translating into a phantom touch on my body. Although he was only saying it, my body seemed to experience it physically. 

I felt the air shift around me, and then the familiar press of him body on mine, my arms instinctively shooting up to grip him as he straddled my waist, his hands grabbing my wrists and yanking them away. He pushed my hands up against the headboard, and I felt his breath right against my neck, feather light kisses that traced a path up to my ear and then he gently blew air against my earlobe. 

“And man, the vibrator is my favorite.” His voice was low and deep, whispering dirty, right into my ear and I clenched around nothing, feeling wet and empty as he went on, “  I’d leave it right up against your clit while I eat you out, two of my fingers fucking into your sweet little cunt, tongue lapping up that sweet , sweet slick of yours..... Fucking delicious , makes me want to bury my face into it.... fuck.....baby, i could eat you out for hours.... “

I choked out, struggling to get my hands free, desperate to feel him, desperate to feel him inside me .

“I would eat you out so good but I wouldn’t let you cum.” 

I felt my heart drop. 

“Please Jungkook-”

“Uh-uh-uh....Nope...” Jungkook muttered.” Don’t want you begging so soon baby.,... we haven’t even started yet...Didn’t I tell you not to say anything till I asked you to? What's the matter baby, you like hearing what I want to do to you? Doesn’t it make you wet...make you want to fuck yourself on my cock?”

I bit my lips, trying to regulate my breathing , bucking up into his hardness as he rolled his hips into mine. I kicked out , trying to dislodge him, just a little bit so I could feel him where i wanted and he grunted when my heel hit his shin. 

I whined when his fingers tightened on my wrists, hard enough to make the bones grind together. Pain shot up my forearm and I whimpered when a hand wrapped around my throat, gentle but with the threat of force behind it. 

“Stop fucking wiggling and listen to me. “ He snapped and I froze. 

“If I eat you out.... turn the vibrator up, and then tell you to not cum till i ask you to.....Can you do that?” 

“Yes.” I sobbed out, 

He grinned.

“Really baby? No protests? You’ve never let me edge you before....I wonder what’s changed?” He whispered.

“Trust you.” I whispered and his breath caught again. 

“You trust me that much?”

“Yes.” 

“Trust me when I say if you cant hold it off...if you cum without my permission, well....that’s when I’m gonna get the fucking whip.” 

My body screamed in protest at the very thought of it. 

“Well? “ He demanded, squeezing down on my throat just a bit. “ Still trust me?”

I felt the first gush of tears, feeling my heart thud against my ribs. All i could think about was Jungkook’s face when he’d held me that day, when Junho had hurt me. The way his eyes had flooded with tears at the sight of me hurt and it was absolutely laughable....the idea that Jeon Jungkook would somehow choose to hurt me voluntarily. 

“Trust you.” 

For a few seconds, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t move either. 

“Should we get started then?” 

“Okay.” I whispered.

I felt a pang of loss when he moved up and off my body, and I blinked against the blindfold, trying to ground myself. Fear and arousal made me disoriented , my mind struggling to decide whether I was enjoying this or not. 

I heard the crack of the flogger again and screwed my eyes shut. 

“You ready?” , the bristles traced up my leg, from my feet right up to the top of my thighs. 

I took a deep shuddering breath.

“Yes.”

I bit my lips, bracing myself for the hit. 

It never came. 

Instead, all i felt was the gentle brush of lips against my brow, and then against my cheek, soft, feather light kisses , peppered across my jaw and down my neck. I gasped as his lips parted slightly, opening and closing on the soft skin, suckling gently for just a second before his tongue followed, soothing the slight sting. 

I licked my lips , gasping when his fingers fluttered up and down my arm, so gentle that I wanted to cry. 

“I like the idea of taking you apart...., having you tremble with anticipation because you’re scared of what I’d do next , but you know what I like more, Areum?” 

Fingers lightly gripped my wrist, pulling them up till my hands rested on his shoulders. 

“Jungkook?”

“I like it when you touch me. I like it when you’re trembling, not because you’re scared or worried but because you’re feeling good....because I’m making you feel good.” 

I smiled despite myself. 

“Can i touch you?” I whispered.

“You don’t ever have to ask...” He breathed against my lips, and i surged up to kiss him. Letting my fingers drop down to tug at the hardened length of him. I ran a finger over the tip, mouth watering at the mound of precum leaking out of him, enough for me to get my palm wet , so I could stroke him without any abrasive friction. 

He growled , rolling over me and nipping sharply at my neck, before pressing a quick kiss to my lips.

“Gonna eat you out. “ He growled and i grinned.

“No vibrator?” I teased and he grunted, already crawling down my body.

“Don’t need it.... Gonna make you cum just with my tongue.” 

I let my head fall back against the pillows as he grabbed my hips, lifting my waist up before shoving a couple of pillow underneath.

“Bend your knees and spread your thighs for me angel.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to my ankle and I nodded quickly, doing just that. I dug my heels into the soft sheets. 

“You want to me to get the vibrator?” He bit my thighs lightly and I jumped. 

“Not really....” I breathed out .

Warm wetness closed over my center and I gasped, fingers reaching down to grip his hair . 

“Gonna ride my face , baby?” He laughed against my slit, tongue tracing the seam with soft little kitten licks and I groaned. 

He lost no time, slipping two fingers straight into me, parting them in a V and licking into the gap, tongue pushing into me with the kind of ease that came from doing something you loved, something you enjoyed doing. 

Pleasure shot straight up my spine rendering me boneless, my limbs turning to jelly as he used his thumb to gently run circles on my clit, all the while licking into me, tongue curling inside me, pushing against my walls and lapping up the wetness like it was the sweetest drink he’d ever had. 

And nothing was a bigger turn on than how much he seemed to be enjoying it and i found myself falling apart embarrassingly fast. I felt my thighs start to tremble and Jungkook hugged against me, slipping another finger in, the fit now tight and I whimpered when he curled his fingers inside me, fingers tips reaching back to nudge the spot the usually sent me spiraling off the edge. 

“Don’t want you to cum yet,....hold off for me.... “ He whispered suddenly, squeezing in a fourth finger and I blacked out when my orgasm hit before I could even try to stop it, clenching down on his fingers so tight that he couldn’t even move them , my muscles screaming as I gripped the duvet under my fingers.

“I ....” i  couldn’t form words. 

“Thought I told you not to cum.” He said softly, somewhere over me. 

I swallowed.

“You... You did it on purpose ...you... fuck...”

“Did what on purpose...” He was laughing a little, and I mewled a little when his fingers rubbed on my clit again, thumb dipping into me playfully.

“Told me to not cum just before you.... Oh fuck” I choked out when he slipped his fingers right back in, and my body screamed in protest , the overstimulation making my eyes water. 

“Sould i get the whip as promised?” He laughed and I froze.

“I would let you, you know. “ I said softly.

He didn’t respond but he did draw his fingers out of me. I let my legs drop down to the bed and waited for him to say something but he didn’t , so I continued, stammering a bit.

“It’s not the kind of thing i would want in general...” I admitted, “ But I didn’t like half the things we do now, once. You’re... you’re my kink.” I chuckled, feeling a bit like i was laying myself bare . 

“Areum...”

“Its you...anything that makes you feel good is what makes me feel good... I love the way your eyes darken when you tie me up...The way you always want to hold me down with a little more force than necessary and the way you sometimes , purposely leave me handcuffed in a way that makes it hurt..... and its not because I’m a masochist or because i love pain but i just... I like doing it for you. “ I admitted. 

I waited for him to say something, and the silence made me nervous. Had I said too much? Had I made him uncomfortable? Oh God, did he think it was too weird?

I opened my mouth, ready to apologize for making things weirds, but before I could , the blindfold came off and I blinked , confused to see him hovering over me. 

“I...” He looked like he was shaking. 

“Jungkook?” I asked, confused, hand reaching up to grip his cheek, concern blooming inside me because of how scared and terrified he looked. 

“You.... You...What you said...” He was definitely shaking, 

“I’m sorry.” I said softly. “ I didn’t mean to imply I didn’t like it..I just want you to know that I’m open to doing new things with you and you don’t have to hold yourself back......”

"Fuck .,.. Areum.. I...” He closed his eyes, laughing a little. 

Genuinely worried, I brushed my thumb across his cheek in worry.

“Hey...what’s wrong?” I asked gently. 

His eyes fluttered open and he stared right at me. 

“I think I’m in love with you.” He whispered. 

My breath got knocked right out of my lung and i gasped out loud, my mind turning to complete mush. 

“I-uh...whu-buh???” I said intelligently and he laughed.

“Fuck.. i didn’t... I didn’t mean to blurt that out.. I...”

I grabbed him before he could move away, tugging his gorgeous face closer to mine.

“Did you mean that?” I croaked out, my voice raw from shock.

He stared at me doe eyes wide and open and so damn vulnerable. 

“Uh...yeah.. I... “

“you stupid fucking bastard...” i choked out, raising myself up to capture his lips with mine. He groaned as he kissed back, lips opening beneath mine and tongue slipping into my mouth with the practiced familiarity of a thousand kisses behind us ad it was so amazing, how incredibly new and exciting this felt, when we had done it so many times. 

I found myself grinning into the kiss as I slipped my fingers into his hair, tugging on the thick dark locks , to pull him away for a second. 

“Can i take you out on a date?” I panted and he was grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah.... Yeah... you can.” 

I smiled and bit my lips, tears spilling out before i could stop myself. 

“I love you so fucking much...” I whispered and he brushed his thumbs across my cheek, wiping away the dampness.

“So fucking sappy.....” He said fondly. “ Now , tell me....can I fuck you....?”

I shook my head. 

Jungkook’s face fell, lips jutting out in a pout and I pressed a finger against his lips when he began to protest.

“You can’t fuck me....but you can make love to me. If you even know how.” 

His gaze softened. 

“I’ve always made love to you Areum.... I may have been rough but I never had anything but affection for you when I touched you.”

I couldn’t help but trace my fingers over his features, taking in the handsome curves and ridges of his face. 

“ I know...but I’d still like to do it gently. Sometimes.” 

He nodded.

“Anything for my gorgeous girlfriend.” He pecked my nose. 

My heart leapt right up at that. 

I could get used to being called that. 

I wrapped both my legs around him, drawing him closer.

“How do you want it?” He whispered.

“Just you... inside. “ I rubbed my nose against his as he nodded.

He barely let me catch my breath before lining himself right up against me and sliding right in and this time, I got to hold his gaze as he slid home, saw exactly how it affected him, how pleasure hit him, hard and fast as he sank into my warmth. 

“Oh fuck...” He whispered . 

“Fuck me slow.... like you have all the time in the world.” I demanded, slipping my fingers in his hair and gripping hard and he grunted, gripping my waist and squeezing hard enough to bruise . 

“ As you wish.” He moved his hands up to shape my breasts, thumb brushing my nipples till the nubs perked right up and I groaned when he bent over and took one of them into his mouth, all the while sliding in and out of me at a tortuously slow pace.

"I'm glad we skipped over the part where we deny our feelings.." I whispered against his lips and he grinned.

"I've never denied shit. If you remember..... This whole sex only business was entirely your idea....I asked you on a date two years ago...."

I flushed.

" I thought you were mocking me."

He shook his head , gripping me close and rolling us over so I was on top. Taking the cue, I dug my knees into the duvet and gripped his shoulders, biting my lips at the new angle .

" No , You thought I was a fuckboy..... I wasn't and I knew that I would have to work hard to prove it to you. "

"Prove that you weren't a fuckboy?"

"Prove that just because I liked sex doesn't mean I don't care about anything else.....Prove that, yes, I wanted to fuck your brains out but i also wanted to hold your hands and lick ice cream off your nose...." He rolled his hips into me and I moaned. 

“Well, thank you for that. Point taken . “ I choked out. 

He hummed and jugged the chain on my neck, fingers lightly tracing the inscribed JK’S.

“ So this is official?” He grinned. 

I rolled my eyes.

“I belong to no one.” I said loftily and he responded my moving his hips just a little too harsh on the next thrust, making me yelp in surprise. 

“This feels good...” He kissed the tip of my nose. 

“Nothing like good old vanilla sex after a heartfelt confession. “ I hummed. 

“But just so you know, we are definitely. playing with my toys someday.” 

I gave his ear a sharp tug.

“Stop ruining the moment and fuck me.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR’S NOTE :  See.... not a smidgen of angst to be seen anywhere :D :D :D Please leave feedback I’m thirsty for it :’( 

taglist :   

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[grasshopperjay]

wanting was enough (18+)

pairing: jay halstead x female reader

song: august - taylor swift

word count: 4.1k

summary: jay and the reader are old friends who meet at a bar. neither of them are in a good place, but their night gets a lot better with the others company. however, there’s something important that jay forgot to mention. 

warnings: swearing, angst (of course), yelling, smut, unprotected sex

“Am I dreaming? God I sure hope not.” 

 You’re already rolling your eyes at the horrible pick up line, taking a swig of your drink to get the confidence to shut this guy down, and then you see him, and you nearly choke. 

“Holy shit.” You stutter out. “Jay Halstead.”

“Holy shit,” He repeats, “Y/N. I can’t believe it’s you.”

He opens his arms and you shake your head, laughing in disbelief as you hug him. “How are you?” You ask, and he grins, occupying the seat beside you and you look him over for a minute, trying not to stare. He’s bigger, muscles filling out his previously boney stature. A lot has changed since high school and you can only hope he’s looking at you the same way, liking the developments you’ve made since you were seventeen. 

“I’m good! Yeah, great. How are you? You look amazing.” 

“Thank you,” You murmur, trying not to blush. “So do you.” You avoid the topic of yourself altogether, opting to not mention how little you’ve actually accomplished since high school. Sure you have a degree and a good job, but you seem to be lacking the happiness so many of your classmates have achieved. “What have you been up to? Last I heard you married Abby,” You blurt out, and he laughs, shaking his head in disapproval. 

Is it bad that the wedding ring that was not on his left ring finger was one of the first things you noticed? 

“Yeah, it was uh-, it was a military thing. Nothing more.” He confirms, and you nod suspiciously. 

“So you’re not with Abby then?” 

“No,” He laughs, “Definitely not. I mean she’s a great girl and everything, but, not for me.”

“Wow, I wish you would have realized that in high school.” You blurt out, and then your hand is covering your mouth, a reflex response to stop anything worse from coming out.

Jay raises his eyebrows, chuckling at your stunned face. “What does that mean?” You shake your head but he prods further. “Nope, you don’t get to do that, what do you mean by that?”

You’re giggling like a little girl and suddenly you’re seventeen again. This is how it always was, Jay charming as ever and you completely mesmerized. One crucial part of the picture is missing this time though, and you’re hoping it works for the better for you. 

“I just mean... I did a lot of pining senior year.” You murmur, and he narrows his eyes. 

“Elaborate.” It’s a demand. 

“Do I have to?” He nods. “Ugh, I was just always second place to her.”

He wants to respond with humor, but you can see in his eyes for just a split second that he knows exactly what you mean. 

He remembers what happened behind the mall, sitting in his car, so close to getting everything you’d ever wanted until his phone rang. Who else but Abby on the other end of the line. You had spent the whole summer together but no matter how far you’d come you were always just a step behind her. And just when you thought you were getting somewhere, August came. And you were off to school, Jay enrolled in the military. And the rest is history. 

“You were second place?” He clarifies, and you nod. “Well so was I.”

You raise your eyebrows at him, and he nods, tilting his beer to his lips. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Dan,” You haven’t heard that name in years. “I only went along with Abby because you were obviously into Dan.”

“I was not into Dan!” You shriek, and Jay laughs. “I’m kind of offended that you thought I was...” 

“You so were,” He accuses, and you keep giggling, covering your mouth to try and control how hard you’re smiling. “I liked you, like really liked you. But Abby told me you liked Dan, so I never did anything.”

“She lied,” You say, shoulders shaking with hysterics. “I hated Dan.” Jay is laughing now too, and goodness, you’re so happy you decided to stop at this bar. 

When the laughter fades, your eyes lock and for a moment the wind is knocked out of you. 

Even though you’re probably gonna regret it, you decide to take the leap you never were bold enough to take in high school. 

“Jay, I never thought about Dan a minute after high school... You, on the other hand? Everyday.” 

A small smile grows on his face, and then he says, “Yeah I thought about you a lot too.” 

You talk for hours, just catching up, and it’s so familiar. He asks about your job and your degree; laughs with you about your brother and how he’s managed to stay reckless after all this time; pries about your relationships in the last ten years. He tells you about his job now, and you soak in every moment as he talks louder, hands motioning like crazy when he gets to the crazy parts of his stories. You hold his hand while he opens up about things that happened on his tours, you can see the pain in his eyes even though he tries to put up a strong front. 

He’s so different from how he used to be, but still so similar. And even though a decade has passed, you’re still just as smitten with him as you were ten years ago. 

It feels like no time has passed since Jay approached you with his stupid line, but when the lights turn on, you realize what time it is. 2 am. You’ve been talking for five hours. 

“Shit,” You mumble, because you’re not ready to go.

It’s like Jay reads your mind though, because he slides his hand over yours, giving you a small grin when he says, “Do you wanna come back to my place? I’m not quite ready to say goodbye to you yet.” 

The answer is yes. A thousand times yes. But you can’t give in so easy. “Jay Halstead... We’ve only just met and you’re inviting me back to your place?”

He rolls his eyes, pulling your jacket off the back of your chair with a smirk. “I promise I’ll be the perfect gentleman. No risky business.”

And that’s how you end up in his apartment, sitting five feet apart on his bed like you’re still in high school. There’s a movie playing but neither of you are paying attention. 

However, it’s probably your fault that he’s so far away. When he guided you to his room, you, like a teenage virgin, poked a finger at his chest- his extremely broad chest- and said, “I’m not here to have sex with you.” 

You said it because you didn’t want to seem desperate, or easy... But it’s Jay, and you’ve known him since high school. You feel like you’ve waited ages for him. And you’ve changed your mind. 

But how do you tell him that without telling him that...

You turn your head to look at him, and the corners of his mouth tilt up as he realizes you’re watching him. He turns to look at you, extending his arm, “You know you can come over here and cuddle with me, I won’t bite...” 

With a sly grin you crawl over to him, settling in his arms. And damn, pressed against his hard body you’ve really changed your mind. “I wouldn’t be mad if you did... bite...” You say, words falling off towards the end. 

You freeze for a minute, locked in a staring match with him before you’re pushing yourself up to kiss him. He’s not surprised, his free arm wounds around your waist, his tongue slides into your mouth and all you can think is what have you gotten yourself into.

You kiss him harder, trying to get even closer to him but he stays steady, his hands sit comfortably, resting on the outside of your thigh and your waist, thumbs drawing circles through the fabric of your t shirt dress.

He makes no moves to go any further, and your timid nature prevents you from doing so either, but you’re walking a thin line. You want so much more. 

Finally you say fuck it, disconnecting your lips and tilting your chin up. He gets the hint and he scrapes his teeth across the soft skin. You whine, grabbing his t shirt while you mumble his name. 

“Please,” You whisper, trying to pull him closer. You hate that he’s made you so weak. All he’s done is kiss you and you’re nearly falling on your knees. 

“What do you want, baby?” He whispers, pressing delicate kisses to your neck.

“I want you to touch me,” You whisper, cheeks tinging red at your confession. He doesn’t seem to mind though, with a smile he brings your lips back to his. His tongue slides into your mouth, and you hold onto his shoulders a little tighter. Slowly, his hand makes it’s way from the outside of your thigh, to the inside. And then he’s pressuring your knee, pushing your legs apart.

“Jay,” You mumble, and the second his green eyes meet yours, you’re lost. 

“You okay?” He asks, and all you can do is nod. 

“Are you sure about this?” Another nod. 

You’re so beyond wet from just kissing him, it’s almost embarrassing. 

He’s so gentle, hands sliding further and further up until their fiddling with the waist band of your underwear. You raise your hips, thinking he’s going to take them off but he doesn’t, he only applies slight pressure to your mound.

His hands are working so slowly and the anticipation is building and building. His fingers work their way down, humming over your clit and passing until they’re ghosting right over where there is probably a wet spot. You can feel your cheeks start to burn red at the thought of it, and it makes you mad at him for being so annoyingly hot.

He presses more firmly, and even though it’s not quite where you want him to be, it still feels good, so you kiss him harder. He responds eagerly, nibbling on your bottom lip. Then he’s ducking his head into the crook of your neck, teeth and tongue grazing the spot just below above your collarbone.

You can’t help the moan that slips out, and you dig your nails into his shoulder when he chuckles against the skin there. He connects your lips again with a smile, and it’s so smug it’s irritating. You really just want him to do something other than tease you, so one of your hands leaves his shoulder, latching onto his wrist that’s under your skirt. When you push his hand up he laughs against your lips, pulling his hand from your grasp. “Jay, do something,” You grumble, tilting your head back. 

He leans into your neck, dragging his lips over the skin. “I thought you weren’t here to have sex with me.”

You internally roll your eyes, “This isn’t sex,” You reply and he laughs.

“Touche,” He says, and then he’s moving his hand up, yanking down one side of your underwear. You help him out, tugging down the other side, he slides them down your legs, and then slowly slides his hand back up, taking his sweet time. 

When he finally gets to where you want him, your shoulders slump, miles of tension being released with his simple touch. He dips a finger down to feel how wet you are, spreading it around he rubs slow circles on your clit, and you release exasperated little breaths against his lips. Your legs instinctively open wider, and Jay’s touch grazes lower, his middle finger teasing your entrance. It dips in, and you try to sink lower, but his hand on your hip holds your firmly in place. He pulls it out, and then goes in again, this time with two fingers. You buck your hips slightly, the pads of his fingers brush your walls, and your back arches while you ache for more. Getting his fingers in even further his palm presses hard onto the hood of your clit, and then you know you’re not going to last long after that. Your head is tilted back, chest heaving up and down and Jay watches in awe, working his fingers while you move with him. His fingers are continuously pressing against your g spot, and you’re practically grinding onto his palm now. It feels so good, and his lips are so soft against yours. He’s like a drug, and now that you’re almost to the edge you know one high isn’t going to be enough. “Jay-” You pull away from his lips, head tipping back.

“Let go,” He mumbles, pressing a kiss to your neck.

Another rock against his hand sends you over the edge, your eyes squeezing shut, and Jay stretches his hand back, avoiding your clit while you ride out your high on his fingers. Slowly they stop moving and your eyes flutter open when he pulls his hand out from under your dress. He sucks them into his mouth and surprisingly a hot moan slips past your lips at the sight. Fuck you need him. You fall back onto the bed, grabbing his shirt to yank him with you.

“Bab-” He starts to speak but you latch onto his neck pulling his lips down to meet yours. When you wrap your legs around him you feel his hard on press against you and it’s almost enough to make you moan embarrassingly loud again.

Hands sliding down, you tug up the fabric of his shirt and he pauses to get it over his head. He chuckles when your fingers hook into his shorts, “Slow down, babe.”

Ignoring him you push his shorts and boxers down, and he holds himself up with one arm to help you out. His cock is hard and you bite your lip at the sight of it, the tip red an soaked with precum.

When he leans back down, your hands grip onto his waist, legs wrapping around him in preparation. He slides his cock in between your folds and you jerk when he grazes your clit. “You sure, baby?” He asks.

“Jay, if you stop now I might combust,”

He grins, pressing a kiss to your lips before standing on his knees, grabbing hold of your calves he yanks you to the edge of the bed. Then he raises your legs so they rest on his shoulders, and he’s pushing into you so slowly it’s almost painful. You need him so badly, and he knows. You cry out when he sinks fully into you, knotting your hands into his hair. He has his feet on the ground for momentum, using your thighs to push you down and it has him so deep you think you could pass out. Every time he moves its like your whole body is getting shocked with pleasure.

“You feel so good,” His grip on your waist is getting tighter, and you grip onto his shoulders to pull him down to you, desperate to feel his lips on yours. When your mouths connect you feel like your lit on fire. 

You sling an arm around his neck, wanting to keep him as close as possible. He presses short kisses to your lips while he continues to grind into you, he feels amazing and you know you’re climbing up quickly to another climax. His head tilts back, mouth falling open and it’s like a whole other stimulant in itself, seeing the pleasure that you give him. Nothing turns you on more.

“Jay,” You murmur, pressing a kiss to the underside of his chin. He responds by connecting your lips again, kissing you through your second orgasm. It’s long and incredible, and it crashes over you so hard it feels like more than just one, but he continues to fuck you through it, getting himself off. He presses you into the bed, and you admire the way his muscles flex, and the way he clenches his jaw while he’s coming undone.

He is so beautiful.

Finally he collapses on you, catching his breath before he rolls off. You both take a moment to let your thoughts catch up, labored breaths filling the room.   “Wow,” He finally says, and once again, all you can do is nod. 

Breathlessly he stands, grabbing his boxers to tug on before he winks and leaves the room. When he comes back minutes later, he has two glasses of wine in hand and you grin, you picked a good one. 

“Wow, if I wasn’t in love with you before I sure am after that little performance. Now this?” You smile, taking the glass. “You’ve out done yourself.”

“Anything to impress you,” He teases, clinking his glass against yours. 

You lay there for another few hours, tangled in the sheets just talking more. And you’re wondering if it’s possible to fall back in love in less than ten hours. 

Eventually Jay nods off, and when you look at your phone you realize it’s six in the morning. 

You didn’t exactly plan on staying at the bar later than eleven, work at nine usually is enough to prevent you from going home with a guy but apparently Jay doesn’t count. 

You don’t really want to leave but you should probably go home and shower, so you quietly put on your clothes, trying your hardest not to wake Jay up in the process. Before you go, you steal his phone, going to settings to get his number so you can shoot him a quick text goodbye. 

You’re typing as you sneak out of his bedroom, writing out a cute message about how much fun you had when a voice scares you. 

“Looks like you guys aren’t fighting anymore,” 

With your startle you accidentally press send on your unfinished text, muttering a shit as you look up to see who’s talking to you. If you remember correctly, it’s Jay’s brother, his hair still as fiery red as ever. 

When he sees you he freezes. You’re obviously not who he was expecting because he stutters out, “You’re not Erin,” 

And no, you’re not. 

You feel your stomach drop, and you’re praying that the best night of your life isn’t about to get ruined, but by the dire look on his face, it is. “Who’s Erin?” You mumble, and Will’s face falls, like he actually feels bad for you. 

“Jay’s girlfriend.” He whispers.

Your whole body goes still, a cold impulse spreading throughout your body as you realize what you just did. You can’t bring yourself to say anything else, you just run out of the apartment as fast as you can. 

You’re not really thinking, just acting as you walk down the street, clicking fast on your phone to order an uber, anything to keep you from actually digesting what just happened. 

And that’s how the morning continues, you don’t stop for a minute, occupying your thoughts with literally anything other than him. It works for a while, you can keep your mind off him while you shower and get ready for work, but then you’re sat at your desk, staring at your phone that has not stopped ringing since you sat down. 

It’s an unknown number but you know exactly who it is. There’s seven missed calls, numerous texts but you’re not looking at any of them. You’re busy thinking of what happens now.

What if she finds out? What if she finds out and finds you? You’ve maximized jumping to conclusions and gone straight for diving off a cliff into a lake of worst case scenarios. 

There’s more missed calls and texts by the time lunch rolls around, you’ve had concerned comments from just about everyone of your coworkers, but it’s easy to brush off their worry, your own however? Just about impossible.

How is it that you became a home wrecker without even knowing? Was there some sign of her that you missed? Because you feel like you should have known. 

You’re still sitting at your desk, staring blankly at a computer that has yet to be turned on today when your receptionist, Maggie, knocks on your office door. 

She looks like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide as she says, “There’s a client here to see you,”

“I don’t have any appointments today...” It’s Friday, you never schedule client meetings on Fridays. 

“I told him that, but he says it’s urgent.” 

For her sake, because she looks terrified, you roll your eyes and nod. “Okay send him in.”

She steps aside and then your client is sauntering into the room, badge on display for everyone, including poor Maggie to see.

“Is this a fucking joke?” You cry, and Maggie nearly jumps out of her skin. You want to tell her to drag his ass out of here but she’s clearly had enough excitement for one day so you dismiss her with clenched teeth, eyes unwavering from the shithead in front of you.

“Are you kidding me, Jay?” You growl, “Showing up here? I’m working. How the hell did you even find me?”

“I’m a cop, Y/N. I found you in two minutes,” He shuts the door behind Maggie and you can see the intrigued glances from your coworkers. “And besides I wouldn’t have showed up here unannounced if you would just pick up the phone when I called.” He argues, and you scoff. 

“Do you actually think you deserve that? After what you did?” 

“You never let me explain!” 

“What can you possibly have to explain, Jay? You turned me into a homewrecker!”

“I didn’t mean to-,” He starts, but you cut him off. 

“I asked if you were with anyone! You said no!” 

“You asked if I was with Abby.” He counters, “I didn’t lie.”

Your eyes go wide, jaw nearly dropping to the floor. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. That’s your excuse? A technicality?”

He shrugs, and you resist the urge to throw your penholder at him. “Who is Erin, Jay?”

“My girlfriend.” He admits, and you actually reach for your ammunition, but he continues, “Sort of.” 

“She uh, we haven’t been on the best terms lately, we were living together, but I moved in with Will a little while ago to give her some space. She got offered a job with the FBI in New York.”

“But you’re still together.” You state, and Jay winces. 

“Technically?” Now it’s your turn to cringe. “I went to her apartment before work yesterday, to try and talk through things but she was gone. Her place was completely clear. I didn’t even tell Will. That’s why I was at that bar last night, I was drinking my sorrows away.” 

“How am I supposed to believe you?” You whisper, teary eyed. You’re trying to take in everything he’s saying but you just don’t know if you trust him...

With a pained look Jay picks up him phone tilting it so you can see while he scrolls through his contacts, stopping on a name with a blue heart by it. He clicks on her name, and a picture of the two of them comes up as the line rings once, and then an automated voice chimes in. 

The number you have dialed is no longer in service. 

“I’ve sent her a hundred texts messages, but none of them have delivered.” He says, and his bottom lip is quivering. “You have to believe me, we’re over.” 

It sure seems that way... But the pain of thinking you were the other woman has quickly been replaced by the pain of realizing you’re the rebound. 

There’s no good outcome, any which way you spin this.

“So I was a rebound then?” You say, voice nearly breaking. 

He can’t say no to that, and it hurts you even more. “I don’t-, I don’t know. But I needed you last night. I saw you and I didn’t even think about her for the entire night. I felt okay for the first time since leaving mine and Erin’s empty apartment and I wanted to hold onto that. I still do.”

“Jay,” You whisper, “I don’t know if I can be that for you... It feels like high school all over again. Your second choice, again.” 

“You won’t be.” He reassures you, and then he steps forward to pull you into his arms and you shouldn’t let him but you do. “I promise you won’t be a second choice.” 

He can’t really promise that, though. He can try and you convince you of that, but he’s always been someone else’s. Never yours to lose. Tears roll down your cheeks and you try to pull away from him, but he’s not letting go. 

“I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet.” 

.....

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[literate-lamb]

can I kiss you on the dancefloor?

Steve Rogers/Reader

One year into a relationship, yet still dancing in secrecy. Steve thinks he’s protecting you.

When a civilian and a hero fall in love, anything could go wrong. But not in the way Steve would have thought.

Or how the media play with the lives of superheroes.

►word count: 7.6k

► warnings(!): slight angst, alcohol

A/N: My gift to @blue-like-barnes for the Hoelentines Fic Exchange! I’m sorry it took some time, giftee. I didn’t expect this to turn into a monster (yikes). Thank you for hosting @amythedvdhoarder @chrissquares @drabblewithfrannybarnes ! Dividers from @firefly-graphics​ and GIF from Giphy

On his day-offs, Steve Rogers was a man full of disguises. 

When they first started, it was the baseball cap and thick-rimmed glasses. He liked it, it was simple, but he knew it wouldn’t be long before someone would notice. How could one not when his face was the one plastered in old war propaganda, in the museums commemorating his achievements, and even flashes on the telly when you walk past the local electronics store. 

Hence, it wasn’t a surprise when the tabloids posted a photo of him in his disguise, waiting at a crosswalk on a cold night. 

‘Captain America spotted on a midnight stroll’ came the next morning. It was taken after he was done walking you home, thankful they didn’t catch a glimpse of you.

“So capsicle, where were you off to last night?” Tony greeted him at breakfast, offending paper in hand. He unrolled it, opening and making a show of reading, displaying the front page for all seated to see. “Nice reading glasses, wasn’t aware you needed them.”

Striding into the room, Natasha came and snatched the tabloid. She gave it a critical eye, judging, before turning towards him. 

“Hmm, recycling disguises, Rogers? I’m disappointed.” 

Steve just groaned in reply.

The second time it happened, he had gone to the Black Widow herself for advice. He had expected sound advice coming from a former KGB spy who spent her paycheck on hair, but all he got was a stick-on mustache. Something about ‘needing to blend in rather than pointing the obvious’.

“I don’t know what you’re up to, Steve, but at least it’s better than that nerd get-up,” she smirked.

You had liked it. Giggling every time he kissed you, the fibres tickling your lips. He had ‘a caterpillar’ on his upper lip as you called it. And Steve had learned to get used to the itch.

But it wasn’t long before his new look was the star in barbershops. 

‘Captain America’s new look takes the world by storm.’ They had caught him again in another paparazzi shot. Tony had teased him for days after.

He couldn’t shake it off easily, constantly reminded of it when he walked the streets. Seeing them on screens when he’s channel-surfing. Even when he’s training new recruits, his vision filled with a sea of unshaved cadets, their hairy upper lips a prominent fixture.

He knew he had to do something when Bucky and Sam came in one day sporting twin mustaches. 

He discarded the strip of fibre in the bin. Reminding to pay Natasha a visit.

The third time he decided, he seeked out the help of Scott Lang, who was a master in keeping out of sight during his burglary days. Scott had given him a black beanie and told him to grow out his facial hair. 

The beanie hid his golden locks and the beard made him look rugged. You loved it, your thighs quivered when it was him and you in the four walls of your room. Uncontrollable groans as he went down. ‘Beard burn’ you had called it. Whatever it was, he loved the sounds you let out.

Four months. That’s how long the disguise lasted. His longest disguise to date. 

Before he became a trend.

‘Captain America is the new style icon.’ The internet sleuths found out where he got it too. ‘The sale of Walmart beanies skyrocketed by 70% thanks to Captain America.’

Tony had bought everyone in the compound a black beanie for Christmas, including the receptionist.

“Our grandpa’s a trendsetter, who knew,” he announced. Steve had smacked the back of Tony’s head with the beanie before retiring the disguise.

Now, sitting in The Sleeping Cat, Steve had opted for aviators and a Nasa baseball cap. He still kept his beard after your pleads, and he liked the look, he admits. It was back to basics for him and this was one of the only places where he was safe from prying eyes. Afterall, it was in this very café where he had met you.

The Sleeping Cat was a quaint little thing, a hole in the wall in a quiet part of the city. Not many knew of its existence, the entrance obscure, a blink and you’ll miss it. Which made it all the more perfect for him. The baristas knew him and minded their own business, offering him a smile every time he visited. ‘You’re safe with us’ they seem to say. 

He could say the same about the patrons. Most that frequented were regulars like him, they seemed the same, looking for a place to get away from the overbearing world. They seemed to share an understanding, paying him no mind as if he was just another man they passed on the streets. And that’s how he preferred it. 

Just a boy from Brooklyn.

Ding!

The chime of the door pulled him out of his thoughts. Facing the door, he saw you, smiling as you came through.

This was the best part of his days. 

You had met Steve Rogers at the most unexpected of times.

Terminated from your previous job at a small gallery, dumped by an ex-boyfriend after a 2 year relationship, you were at an utmost low. To escape your roommates —in case of pitying or prying, but if you were honest with yourself, it was to escape your own humiliation— you left the apartment on weekdays under the guise of going to work. In reality, you were at The Sleeping Cat applying for jobs on your laptop.

It was during one of the afternoon hours when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

Turning to your left, you were greeted by a pair of startling blues. They were bright but worn as if they’ve seen too many. Looking at the bigger picture, you took him in. Hair hidden under a cap, a sharp jaw and an equally sharp nose, and if you looked closely, you thought you could spot a few moles on his cheeks. He looked familiar, but you couldn’t put a finger to it.

Eyes fleeting to his lips, you realized he was actually talking.

“Huh?” 

“I was wondering if this seat’s taken?” He smiled, gesturing towards the empty seat opposite. He was clearly amused.

“Yeah, sure, sure,” you nodded, making room for his things. 

The following days, it became a routine and an arrangement. You would be at the café as early as the owner would allow, laptop in hand. While he would come in the afternoons in a different jacket each day, a sketchbook in hand. You would be propped up, sending application after application, praying for luck. While he would quietly sit, churning sketch after sketch, in a relaxed demeanour. 

Sometimes you would peek over your screen and watch him draw for a few minutes, lost in his strokes. When you look up, you’ll find his eyes locked with yours, and you’ll immediately reimmerse yourself behind the screen, embarrassed.

It was a comfortable routine. You came to expect him everyday. And on the days that he didn’t make it, you felt a bit forlorn looking at the empty seat. You both didn’t talk much, yet you were getting comfortable in his presence.

Until one day, he broke the silence.

“So, what is it that you do?”

You stared, dumbfounded. Looking around there wasn’t anyone nearby. 

“Were you talking to me?” you asked.

“Yes,” he chuckled. “It’s just that you’re always on your computer…” he trailed off.

“I’m an assistant curator at an art gallery— or, er, used to be,” you explained. “Long story short, I lost my job and now I’m looking for a new one, that’s why I’m here.”

He seemed to ruminate before replying, “So you know a thing or two about art?”

You both started a new routine; one with a lot of communicating. He would ask you about your mundane weekends and interests and in turn, you would ask about his. Except, he was anything but mundane. 

On the days he was absent, you learned Steve was away on a lot of ‘business trips’. When he returned, he had never failed to present you with a souvenir. From matryoshkas to sarongs, it was always a surprise accompanied by a tale.

“The pattern on the sarong is called a batik, and it’s amazing how they’re drawn using wax like a liquid crayon. It’s an interesting art form.”

Outside of your little routine, he was an enigma. You barely knew about the Steve outside of The Sleeping Cat. Sometimes he threw the names ‘Bucky’ and ‘Sam’ a lot —out of exhaustion— without giving away anything, remaining tight-lipped. While his mysteriousness should’ve been a cause of concern, you couldn’t help but gravitate towards him, wanting to peel more of his layers, like the shell of a matryoshka. 

The routine went on for a few more weeks, with calls of interviews and business trips in between. Before you received a phone call.

“I got a job! At the Whitney!” you squealed, shaking his shoulders over the table, oblivious to the other patrons. Steve endured it, smiling. 

“Congratulations,” he said when you’ve calmed down. “I guess this is the last time I’ll be seeing you?”

You froze, high coming down, realization settling in. After a few weeks of secret meetings, of getting to know him, of having lunch together, of sharing laughs, you’ve come to see Steve as a good friend. And maybe, there was the birth of something more.

“Let’s exchange numbers,” you said, opening your phone. “This way, maybe we can hang out again. Have lunch sometimes?”

“I’d like that.” He smiled. 

And the rest was history.

Making your way towards The Sleeping Cat, you amused yourself with past memories. Memories from almost over a year ago. 

Steve had come to give a speech at the opening ceremony of an exhibition at the Whitney. Your first exhibition as a curator. An exhibition on art from the war times. When they had announced his title, a loud ‘oh’ was the only thing you could muster. 

The ‘ding’ of the bell resounded, announcing your arrival. Heading in, you saw a head perked up, beaming, baseball cap securing his golden locks and aviators hiding his mesmerizing blues.

This was the best part of your days.

But maybe, you were getting a little tired.

If someone were to ask you months ago if you were happy and content with your relationship, you would’ve replied with a swift yes in a heartbeat. No hesitation, no reservations, no doubt. Now, sitting in the same cafe, the same one you frequent on dates, the same one you both met in, you weren’t sure of the answer anymore.

As Steve gets up to order for you both, your eyes wander to his sketchpad. It was filled with sketches of random objects; the flower on the table, the pastries on display, sometimes the patrons of the cafe, and occasionally, you. 

“You’re my favourite subject, so far.”

It was not for the lack of love or the lack of affection. Steve was the most loving; loyal in so many ways, gentle when asked, and protective to a fault. Maybe the protectiveness was the cause of it all.

Staring at Steve’s back, your mind shifted to a memory from the past week, when your roommate pulled you aside from a get-together at the ice rink.

“Hey,” she called your name, taking a hold of your elbow. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure, what’s up?” you followed her, leading you to the sides.

Her eyes conveyed her worry. It amplified with the chewing of her bottom lip, a nervous tick.

“Are you and Steve… okay?” she asked, her brows perked. “I’m not sure if you notice, but today, it’s full of couples.” 

You looked towards your group of friends. There was your roommate’s girlfriend tying her skates, your other roommate and her boyfriend talking to another couple —their friends— and they were all holding their significant other’s hand. Oh.

“I don’t want to throw you out of the loop, but there would probably be a lot of double skating involved today,” she said, widening her eyes, looking comical. “Do you want me to talk to Steve? Maybe I could convince him to come, y’know?” 

Out of your two roommates, she was the only one who knew of your paramour. Having walked in on you and Steve making out on the couch. She was sworn into secrecy, with the promise of autographs from all the Avengers. 

“Look, it’s okay,” you assured her. “I can handle skating alone, and you know why he can’t really come here with us,” you shrugged.

“Okay, but aren’t you tired? Of all this sneaking around? Don’t you want to shout to the whole world ‘I’m fucking Captain America!’” she flailed.

You shushed her, muffling her mouth with your gloved hand.

Part of the secret was how Steven Rogers was an engineered superhero. A superhero with many enemies, leading him to fear for his loved ones, and that included you.

You went into the relationship whole-heartedly knowing the challenges; discreet rendezvous, kisses in the dark, minimal contact in public. You were his secret and he was yours. It was for your own good, wasn’t it?

“What’s got your little head wrapped up?” Steve’s voice startled you, bringing you back to the café. On the table, two cups of coffee and a slice of cake was served.

“Hmm? Oh, just thinking about this party the museum’s throwing this weekend,” you took your cup, blowing, contemplating your next words.“Say, how about you and I, I don’t know, go as dates?”

Steve crunched his brows. “You know that’s a hard thing for me to do, especially with your colleagues around.”

“I know! But maybe… maybe, you can go in one of your disguises this time? Remember that one time we went to Central Park?”

Steve exhaled, he remembered that afternoon. It was the one-off that you both ventured on a date in the outdoors. 

Decked in his beanie, casually strolling through Central Park with you beside him. Although he was still wary, keeping his hands in his pockets, fighting the urge to hold your hand. 

No one had recognized him; not the ice-cream man, not the kids running around, not the mothers pushing strollers. No one. 

“I’ll see what I can do.”

You leaned forward, pecking him on the lips multiple times. “Thank you!”

“You sure this looks convincing?”

“Trust me, punk. Grade A assassin here, thank you very much,” Bucky boasted while fixing the wig on his scalp, untangling the unruly strands.

Steve had sought Bucky for help, with the belief that assassins were good at hiding in plain sight (and maybe, he just didn’t want to go to Natasha twice). Bucky was also his most trusted confidant and he knew about you, Steve trusted him not to tell. But now looking at himself in the opposite mirror, he wasn’t so sure of that anymore. 

Long dangly tresses hung on the sides of his face parting in the middle, a trimmed beard leaving a bit of goatee, and to finish it off, Bucky dressed him in a checkered shirt consisting of random coloured squares. He looked like he just stepped out of the 60’s.

“Oh, wear these,” Bucky handed him a pair of large wire-framed glasses. “Done.”

Steve took a look in the mirror. A seedy pimp was the first thought that crossed his mind.

“Thanks Buck, I owe you one.”

“Sure Stevie, just bring me around next time on one of your dates, I’d like to meet her,” Bucky winked. “Or make it double.” He wagged his brows. “Like old times.”

Steve snorted.

“Okay, I got—“ Steve’s words halted when an alarm blared overhead. It demanded their attention.

“Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, your presence is required in Prep Room six,” called the disembodied voice. “There’s been a breach of extraterrestrial energy in the airspace of Sweden.”

Steve exited and rushed through the hallways, Bucky following close behind. He made it through the living quarters, trudging to the training wing before entering one of the many prep rooms. 

“Nice costume, Cap. Halloween already?” Sam quipped. Almost everyone was present, they were equally amused.

Before anyone else could follow, Tony strided in immediately, grumbling. “Okay team, there’s been an E.T synthezoid putting holes in the ozone layer. I’ll fill you all in the quinjet. Suit up and meet me at the hangover in 10.”

Everybody gathered their equipment and hurried to leave, passing by him. Before Tony could, he took notice of Steve and did a double take. And then a third. 

“What’s with the pimp daddy get-up, Capsicle?” 

Steve huffed, ignoring the jab. “I have something that I need to attend. How important am I in this, Tony?”

“We need all hands on deck. We don’t really know what we’re up against, Fury’s still running recon,” Tony explained, squaring his shoulders. “Whatever it is you have, Cap. It can wait. Lives are at stake here.” With that, he left, not standing by for a response.

“Darn it,” Steve cursed, removing the glasses and the wig.

He left the prep room with his shield in hand. With one hand, he shot a text to you. He’ll make it up next time.

Loverboy [6:30 PM]: Emergency mission

Loverboy [6:30 PM]: Can’t make it, sorry

You switched the screen off, sighing. Around you, the party was in full swing. Invitees mingling with refreshments in hand, discussing the pieces on display tonight, and bidding on the pieces they find exquisite. Hors d’oeuvres and champagne were being served, brought around by servers on silver platters. You’ve been munching on them non-stop, grabbing one every time a server comes your way, needing something to occupy you.

Surrounding you, you’d see the occasional couple walking around, enjoying their time. The palms of their hands locked in each other’s as they navigate together, rarely straying afar. 

You clenched your hand, reminded of how empty it felt. 

It was inevitable, you were warned of this, you were told to expect this. Dating a superhero meant that he was never solely yours. You were sharing your boyfriend with someone, except that someone was the world. 

“Hiiii!” a shrill voice broke your thought, calling you by name. A blonde woman, followed by a brunette emerged from the gathering of art-goers, headed towards you. “It’s been a long while!”

“Hey! Yeah, it’s been awhile,” you waved, recognizing the two. 

When they reached you, you were aware of the slight tension in the air, leaving the three of you standing awkwardly. After all, these two were your ex-colleagues and you didn’t exactly leave the previous gallery on good terms. Tonight was a night with masks, it seemed.

“So, how are you two doing?” you decided to get it over with.

“We’re fine, everyone’s fine! But how are you? We heard you worked here now, pretty impressive,” the brunette —Claire— winked at you. You laughed.

“Yeah, it’s so nice seeing you again, and at the Whitney? The pay must be good, you know what I’m saying?” Hilda chimed, knocking her elbows with yours. You didn’t appreciate it but you endured.

 “Say, what are you doing over here far away? Why not you join us over there,” Hilda pointed, towards a mounted canvas at the end of the hall. It was occupied by two men in a discussion among themselves. “Chat a bit to catch up, a bit of art philosophical debate in between. What do you say?”

You contemplated her offer, not wanting to seem pretentious, but thought about the false flattery and ego-stroking that would sure ensue in their company. The thought of it drained you.

“It’s okay,” you waved them off nervously. “I have to call my boyfriend sooner, gotta check up on him and let him know I’m... alright.” You held up your phone, playing on convincing.

“Oh? He isn’t here tonight?” Claire seemed to feign worry. 

“No, he got caught up with something. He’s a busy man,” you cooked up an excuse. No one could know. 

“Okay… In that case, we’ll leave you to it. Maybe we’ll bump into each other sooner.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys soon.”

They waved before backing away into the mass of patrons. You let out a breath you didn’t know you held in. 

While the interaction was unexpected, this was what you had to deal with when it came to the question of your relationship. The excuses, they became second nature to you. The lies. The deceit. Anything to protect Steve’s identity, and inadvertently, you.

Throughout the night, you mingled with any clients interested in a work of art, all the while stepping out of Hilda and Claire’s line of sight. You didn’t wish a repeat of the earlier evening.

When the crowd started dwindling, signalling the end of the night, you were relieved of your duties. You headed straight for the restrooms after, one getaway before leaving. You huddled yourself in a cubicle, locking it shut.

Seconds in, you heard the creak of the restroom door followed by the clicks of heels.

“Can you believe it? Someone like that got the chance of working here.” 

You recognized the nasally tone. It was Claire. 

“Yeah? Not like she deserves it. I mean look at her? Demure, slow. It’s like talking to a mouse. I bet she’s a prude too.” That was Hilda.

The gushing of the faucet muffled their voices, but their sharp words were clear as day, your ear catching every snark and hiss.

“And when she was talking about her boyfriend? He probably doesn’t even exist, it was just to get off our backs,” Hilda paused. “Last time I heard, her boyfriend dumped her. So, I guess she’s creating imaginary ones now.” 

They both cackled.

By now, you knew they were talking about you. Their words didn’t hurt as much, you knew the colour of their hearts beneath the masks. But was that how people viewed your hidden relationship? A facade? A farce?

Once the door clicked shut, and the tapping of their heels faded, you left the restroom, heart feeling heavier.

(y/n) [6:45 PM]: stay safe stevie ! remember to hydrate

(y/n) [6:46 PM]: punch those meanies

(y/n) [6:46 PM]: (`⌒*)⍟-(`⌒´Q)

Steve chuckled when he turned on his phone, amused at your texts. You always sent him good luck messages every time he went off for missions. Although he didn’t seem to get the emoticons that you sent, even after being taught by Peter Parker. He just didn’t get them.

Steve dialed your number, sitting on the edge of the bed as he dried his washed hair. Beeps ringed before you picked up, your smooth lilt permeating the speakers. 

“Hello? Stevie?”

Steve smiled, missing the caress of your voice after a day filled with explosions and cries.

“Hello, sweetheart,” he greeted. “How’s my girl been?”

“Great, now that you called,” you teased. “But are ‘you’ fine?” you emphasized.

On the other end of the line, you mirrored his position, sitting on one corner of the bed. Picking the newspaper in your lap, you observed the front page: ‘Avengers saves the Arctic!’ 

“Same old, same old,” his voice carries. “Listen, about yesterday—“

“It’s okay,” you interrupted him, other hand gripping the newspaper. “You have to protect the Earth and that also means me. You don’t have to apologize, I knew what I signed up for.” 

Did you? Or was it now a hollow statement to convince yourself?

“I still want to make up for it, my girl deserves that much,” he responded.

You slowly unclenched the paper. It left Steve’s form crinkled.

“If you want to sooo bad,” you exaggerated. “There’s a Valentines charity ball for our arts program in three weeks time. You think you could make it this time?”

“You know no promises, but I plan to, even if I have to do everyone’s laundry for a week.” You heard rustling on the other line. “What’s the exact date? I’ll put it on my calendar.” 

“The 16th.” Scratchy scribbling filled your ear, the sound loud in the silence. 

“Done. Can’t wait to see you all dolled up, sweetheart.”

“Me too, baby,” you said. “At least put on a nice moustache this time.”

He laughed. Your heart felt lighter. To him, it was probably nothing, but to you, it was a form of reassurance. A reassurance that what you had was real.

“Steve, you got a moment?”

The aforementioned man turned around, taking a glance over his shoulder. Sharon Carter slowed to a stop, a small smile on her face. As always, she carried an air of superiority, matching that of Steve’s wavelength. Yet today, it seemed dim.

“I think we need to talk, you have time for coffee?”

Glancing at his watch, he nodded. “Sure, Sharon. Lead the way.”

She took them outside of S.H.I.E.L.D and into the chilly air of DC, navigating through streets and crowds while huddling in their coats. They chatted, breaths puffing as they caught up, the familiar scenes passing by.

He hadn’t been in DC in awhile, it felt good to be back. 

“We’re here.”

Sharon headed in first, holding the door for him. He thanked her. They ordered and got seated. A smile was shared, strained as it seemed. 

“Better just rip the band-aid off,” Sharon sighed. “I miss us.” 

“Sharon—“

“Please, hear me out first,” she insisted, showing her palm. “We probably shouldn’t have done what we’ve done after Aunt Peggy’s funeral. I just lost someone I looked up to the most, and you lost the woman that you loved. We were both grieving. It wasn’t fair to the both of us.”

“While I do miss us, I know that it wasn’t meant to be,” she continued, shooting a sombre smile. “I understand that now. I guess, what I wanted was closure.”

Her hand quivered on the table between them. Steve clasped his over hers, offering to soothe.

“I don’t regret what happened in Germany. While yes, it should have not happened, it was what we thought we needed at that time. We both lost someone we held dear,” Steve explained, hoping his words reached her. “None of it was a mistake, Sharon. You’re still someone I trust and hold dear, remember that.”

Steve clutched her hand tighter, running his thumb over her knuckles in circular motions, attempting to calm and show understanding.

In his efforts, unknown to the two, the shutter of a camera went off across the street.

Something felt off. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. At first, you thought it was your own anxious mind running. 

You woke up late on a work day, burned your eggs and toast, accidentally wore unmatching socks, and your roommate was acting weird. All jittery when you entered the hall, stammering her words, and performing this bizarre dance when you walked past the living room. You gave her no mind when you passed the threshold and slammed the door, phone gripped in hand.

Loverboy [6:00 AM]: Good morning, dear 

Loverboy [6:01 AM]: [image]

A photo of Steve, sweaty after a run showed on the screen. He was smiling, shirt stained and clinging to his chest. You had taught him how to take selfies.

You [7:20 AM]: morning, handsome

You [7:20 AM]: 😍😍😍 

The morning texts were the best part of your morning commute. It made the arduous and packed journey worthwhile. Even when you almost tripped at the doors, it couldn’t take away your joy.

You made it just in time and clocked in, meeting clients and discussions with artists throughout the day. It was uneventful, although the bad luck seemed to have followed when you spilled your coffee on the concrete.

It was when you left the museum that your day took a turn for the worst.

On the ride home, the man opposite you was reading a newspaper. Nothing unusual, but at a glance, you thought you saw a familiar face printed on the corner. Before you could take a closer look, the man folded it in half and got off.

A few minutes later, you arrived at your stop, exiting the station with the fast-paced crowd. That’s when you were bombarded.

Lining the streets, your vision was filled with the scattering of a crowd of papers. Every face you saw was plastered in them.

‘The Good Captain In Love?’

‘A Superhero & A Civilian Romance?’ 

‘Captain America’s Girl? Mysterious Woman Sighted’

The sight of them left you in a panic, your anxiety spiking through the roof. Your world started spinning, everything —buildings, trees, faces— blending altogether. Everywhere your eyes deflected, a headline invaded your sight, imprinting itself on your retinas. Had they found out?

Composing yourself, you headed towards the nearest news stall, mind boggled with too many questions and not enough answers. How? Why? When?

Only, it wasn’t your face they were publishing.

‘“Oh Captain, My Captain” America in love? Spotted last week in DC was Captain Steven Rogers with a mysterious lady. They seemed to be cozy with each other, an eyewitness told Us Weekly. Story on Page 11.’

The photograph showcased Steve with a blonde woman, sitting in a café with their hands clasped on the table. Your heart shattered at the sight, remembering how empty yours have felt lately. 

Was he purposely out with this woman in public? What did that mean for you? Why were you shadowed?

“Are you and Steve… okay?”

“She’s creating imaginary ones now.”

“Aren’t you tired? Of all this sneaking around?”

“You know that’s a hard thing for me to do.”

“Hey lady, you gonna pay for that?”

You were shaken out of your stupor. Looking down, you were clutching the magazine too hard, ripping the image of Steve and the woman in half, right in the middle where their hands met.

You apologized to the man and paid for the magazine. Immediately discarding it in the next trash bin you saw.

“So… you and Sharon?” Sam had asked him after training.

“What?” 

“You, and, Sharon,” Sam emphasized, pronouncing each syllable. “Are together. Man, when were you gonna tell me? I thought it was over.”

Steve froze before replying, “Because it is. A long time ago.”

“Well, this seems to say otherwise.” 

Sam showed him his phone, the screen displaying an article; ‘Captain America’s Girl Revealed. A Family Affair That Transcends Time.’ On top of the article was a photo of him and Sharon at the cafe in DC, his hand atop of hers on the table. A zoomed in version of their hands were provided, fueling the tabloid’s narrative.

Steve paled at the sight. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was his fears manifested; his anonymity taken, his privacy invaded, but his worst fear was putting his loved ones in danger. And if it was due to their association with him, it would leave him racked with guilt. 

While the tabloids were wrong, he knew that Sharon could defend for herself. You on the other hand… 

His heart rate rose, a new wave of anxiety spiked. Steve wondered if you’ve seen this. No, you must’ve seen this. 

Fishing for his phone, with clammy hands, Steve quickly dialed your number, anxiously waiting for the beeping to end. 

‘The number you’ve dialed is not—‘

“Damn it!”

His outburst surprised Sam, shocking him. Sam gave him a look, inquisitive. 

“Sorry Sam, I have to run.” 

He left, heart in his throat.

When Steve arrived at your apartment, he was almost out of breath. He was still anxious, the ride here not doing much to his addled mind. But he was determined.

Rapidly knocking on your front door, Steve composed himself. When it opened, he was met with the sight of your roommate -- the one that he has never met before.

“Ca-Captain America?” she yelped, shocked to see him on the doorstep.

“Is your roommate in?” he steeled.

“Which one—” 

“Steve,” a voice interrupted.

The door pulled further, widening the entrance. Steve was met with your familiar roommate. She was tense, arms locked across her chest, eyes full of fury. Steve detected something else in them; worry.

“You fucked up,” she said. He winced.

“I know,” he admitted. “And I’m here to make things right. Can I please see her?”

She sighed, stepping in, nodding towards your room. 

Steve hastily walked in, stopping in front of your door. He knocked thrice, signalling you, before turning the knob. It was unlocked. The room was dark when he entered, every source of light switched off, except for your curtains. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed was you, figure illuminated by the street lights against pitch black darkness. When he stepped in closer, you looked up, eyes meeting his. 

Steve turned on the lights and closed the door. He took a good look at you; hair frazzled, eyes bloodshot and dry, nose red. You were the image of heartbreak.

“Are you ashamed of me?” you asked, eyes locked with his. 

“What? No, I—“

“Is it because I’m not strong?” you cut him off. “I know she’s Peggy’s niece… a-and I know how much you loved her. She was your first love.”

“She and I, it’s all in the past. She moved on and lived her life, and I… did too.”

“But did you really, Steve? Move on?” you whispered, getting up. You stood in front of him. Steve could see how puffed your eyes were from crying. “Or was I just… a rebound?”

“No. No, you were never a rebound,” he took hold of your forearms. “I care for you, too much.”

“Then why?!” you shrieked, shocking Steve. “Why the secrets? Why the hiding? Steve, you’ve never even introduced me to your friends. Shouldn’t they know?”

“I wanted to protect you!”

“Protect me from what?!” you roared, eyes full of fury. “The Avengers? If they knew about me, they would protect me. Don’t you think so?”

Steve had no words to that, his mind a jumbled mess.

“I’m… beginning to think that you’re embarrassed with me,” you sighed. “We’ve never been on a date publicly, as each other. We’ve never held hands in public. I want you to meet my friends. I want to introduce you to them, and maybe soon, I want you to meet my family.”

“B-but, I’m tired, Steve. Tired of all the hiding. Of all the sneaking around. I want to tell the world that I’m in love with Steve Rogers, not Captain America,” you sighed, shedding a few tears.

You waited for his reply, only to be disappointed. 

“You know I can’t do that.”

You saw red. All you saw was red. 

You started pushing him, swatting him in the chest. Steve didn’t fight back, letting you unleash your anger, your disappointment. He took your hits, letting you release your pent up emotions. He began backing away when you started advancing, back against the door.

“Get out! Get out!” you screeched, pushing him.

When he unlocked the door and crossed, you immediately shut the door in his face. Steve heard sobbing from inside, his heart shattering at the sounds. 

“This way, Captain,” your roommate approached him, showing him to the door.

Steve relented, shame flooding him. He fucked up.

You stopped visiting The Sleeping Cat, wanting to avoid him at all costs. You blocked his number. You immersed yourself in your work, prepping for the upcoming charity gala. 

Sometimes you find yourself thinking about him when sleep proved to be difficult. It’s when you’re laying at night that you missed him the most.

But it was for the best, you reasoned. For you and him.

The Avengers PR had pushed for a fix-it, publishing a story that spoke a truth. ‘Just Friends: Romantic Allegations Proved False’. Steve had hoped you’d seen it. 

He called you every day but found himself blocked from everything. He still tried, hoping you’d come around one day. He came by The Sleeping Cat every other day, sitting in the same spot, hoping to catch you. 

But you never came.

You clasped the necklace in place, admiring how it sat on your clavicle through the mirror. You took a step back and took yourself in, smiling at what you saw. It didn’t reach your eyes.

Today was the day of the Valentines gala and you weren’t feeling particularly giddy about it. 

Opening your phone, you stared at the one contact that stood out, finger hovering over his name. That name used to give you so many feelings, but today it was a reminder that you were going alone, again.

Sighing, you threw it in your purse and left. Another lonely night, and on an even celebrating love.

Days turned into weeks, and soon, before he knew it, the day of your Valentines gala arrived. 

Steve stared at the calendar. The heart-shaped doodle he drew called out to him, reminding him of fond memories. Fond memories that seemed like a distant dream. But then, he went back to last week, and it all came crashing.

He had hurt you. While thinking he was protecting you, he hadn’t realized he was inadvertently pushing you away. He had no one to blame but himself. 

He loved you. No, still loves you. You grounded him, gave him the normalcy that he craved. Reminded him of a distant time before he was Captain America. 

You made him feel like the boy from Brooklyn again.

While he was ruminating in his feelings, Steve was caught off-guard when the door burst open with Tony Stark coming through. From his peripheral, he could see Bucky and Sam peeking through the frame.

“Heard from the Manchurian Candidate that someone has a case of the achy breaky heart,” Tony said, smug.

“Leave me alone, Tony. I’m not in the mood,” he grumbled, setting down the calendar. 

“And leave you wallowing like shit while your girl is out there probably equally miserable? I know a thing or two about women, Rogers, and it’s that they don’t like to be kept waiting.”

Tony snapped his fingers and from behind, Sam came in with a tuxedo in hand.

“Thought you might need this,” Sam said. 

Bucky came out behind him, with a brush and can of hairspray. “And I still know how to do hair.”

“And I have friends in places,” Tony quipped. “I can get you in.”

Steve was surprised. His friends had surprised him. You would’ve loved them. He was left speechless.

“What are you waiting for, Cap? Suit up.” Tony winked.

Swirling the glass of rosé, your gaze fell towards the dance floor. An upbeat song was being played as people flocked near the middle, letting their bodies take charge for the night. You saw your former co-workers among the throng, hands thrown around their significant others, having the time of their lives.

The gala was in full swing, if the crowd and chatter was any indication. Red and roses were the main theme, with a red carpet stretching from the grand staircase towards the main hall and roses lining every corner and wall. Taking it all in, you were proud to see your ideas visualized and work came to fruition.

You sipped your rosé, enjoying every bit of the gala as you could. From the sidelines, you spoke with a few potential clients and art collectors. Their presence made you feel your importance, and if you dared say it, a little less lonely.

It was during one of your little chats that you didn’t realize when the hall suddenly fell quiet. You turned around when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

“Hi folks, mind if I crash your party?”

Steve smiled at Tony’s antics. They both had arrived at the gallery dressed in their best, and with Tony’s connections, they were granted access. 

Stepping down the grand staircase, Steve felt all eyes on him. He paid them no mind, the thought of you the only occupant of his racing mind. Gazing over the crowd, Steve spotted you to the side, occupied in a chatter. 

Taking deliberate steps, Steve soon found himself behind you. He admired your gown and hair, it entranced him. You still hadn’t registered his presence, even when your partner had ceased chatting and was now staring at him.

With a tap on your shoulder, he was taken away as immediately as you spun around. Steve took in your whole image; your dolled-up face, your intricate dress, your styled hair. It left him floored.

You always did manage to take his breath away. Was this what he had been missing out all this time?

Taking your unoccupied hand, Steve pressed a small kiss before meeting your eyes. 

“May I have this dance?”

Giving away your drink, you took his hand as he pulled your towards the centre, taking space among the crowd. A slow number started, and before you realized, you were swept in a slow dance. It didn’t take long before you felt the sensation of his two left feet.

“Sorry, a hundred years and you’d think I’d know how to dance,” he said.

A small smile lightened your face. Steve savoured it all he could. Gulping, he took the first step.

“I’m... sorry for what I’ve done. I realize now that you were right,” he started. “I thought I was protecting you, but now I see that all it did was push you away. You have all the rights to be mad at me. I was being an idiot, a selfish one. I didn’t think about how you felt about it.”

You winced. Steve had stepped on your toes again. He murmured an apology, resorting to swaying instead.

“Can we start again? No more hiding. No more disguises,” he breathed, keeping his eyes locked on yours. “ We can meet your friends, you can meet mine. Bucky’s been pestering me to bring you to the compound, he wants to meet you.”

You laughed. How Steve had missed the tune.

“How can I make it up to you? How do you want to take the first step? A picnic at Central Park? Dinner at the compound? A trip to the beach?”

You seemed to contemplate, a thoughtful look on your face. You both failed to realize all the eyes on you two.

“How about now?”

“Right here? Right now?” he asked.

“Yes, right here, right now,” you said, determined.

Without hesitation —no more— Steve dived in, planting a kiss on your wine-coloured lips for the whole world to see. Your first kiss in public, yet it felt as if it was only the two of you there, lost in the moment. 

You both didn’t notice the gasping crowd nor the clicks of cameras from photographers nor the booming laughter of Tony Stark. You both only felt the other in your orbit, and that was all that mattered.

“Can you put that down? You’ve been staring at it for the past hour.”

You pouted, setting the frame on the side table, where it has been designated since its publication. 

“I can’t help it, I think it’s a good shot. Don’t you think so, Alpine?” you petted the snowy white cat lazing on the arm of the sofa. Its’ purrs intensified.

“Dinner’s ready!” Bucky shouted.

You and Steve left the room, joining the others in the dining room for dinner. On the side table, the framed article sat neatly, showcasing the tale of the famed occurrence that took place at a charity gala.

‘America’s Girl: The Modern Woman of The Captain’s Dreams.’

Fin.

[beomglocks]

argus limited ; k.th

summary : the sweet man on the train is not all that he seems or you meet taehyun on a train and he flirts with you until you realize what he’s really up to

pairing : gangleader!taehyun x reader

warnings & other : this was a dream i had, i literally just typed this all up so sorry if there’s mistakes, mention of blood

w/c : 1.7K

the train is quiet save for the clinking of glasses, hushed conversations, and the metal gears of the train churning every so often.

you look outside at the snowy mountains and landscape. it makes you feel out of place since you're sitting inside a cozy wooden booth with your most elegant attire on.

it was somewhat mandatory for guests of the argus limited to be dressed accordingly since this train was very exclusive and reserved for wealthy people only. you're lucky yeonjun managed to get you a train ticket to go visit him in argus.

you hadn't even known he was staying there until he had brought you a ticket and sent it to your phone. the only message along with it being a simple, "hey baby im back! come visit me ;)" cheeky bastard.

you fiddle with your fingers, having nothing better to do on this incredibly long train ride. argus was miles away from your hometown so the journey took several hours and the train ride had just started around 2 hours ago. since you had to go through several different terrains it wasn't like your cellphone had much use seeing as there was no reception.

"excuse me miss?" you hear someone say. you tear your eyes away from the snowy desert to see a very handsome man. he had a piercing gaze and stark blonde hair. he was wearing a suit that screamed wealth and had an intimidating aura.

"do you mind if i join you?" he says as he takes a seat anyway. you sigh, looking back towards the frosty window. the guy doesn't speak for a while but you can tell he's watching you. you don't pay him any mind, not too interested with partaking in conversation.

he clears his throat, "what's a pretty woman like you doing all alone on a train like this?" you let out a silent laugh at his attempt at flirting. you don't answer his question, simply humming with a smile on your face.

"where might this pretty lady be headed towards?" he tries again.

you decide to humor him for the time being. it's not like you've got much else to do on this train. "im headed to argus," you answer. he grins at hearing your voice.

"argus? meeting someone?"

"yes, i am," you smile.

"a boyfriend?" he asks, more and more intrigued by you by the second. you raise your eyebrow at him. "i'll let you speculate that," you decide to tease.

he chuckles, satisfied with your answer. "where are you headed?" you ask him, feeling like it's only fair to know about him as well. he subtly darts his eyes around the train before answering, "just beyond argus actually."

"from your attire, im guessing business reasons?" you say. he smiles, showing off his pearly teeth, "i'll let you speculate that."

he waves his hand to let the waiter know to come to your booth. "bring your finest wine," the man demands. the waiter nods and goes off.

"you drink?" you ask. you look him over once again. he does seem like the powerful businessman type so you wouldn't be surprised if he did. "only when im around pretty women," he says smoothly. you roll your eyes at his flirtatious remark, "you must be a drunkard then."

"i'm quite the nephalist actually," he crosses his arms on the table, looking at you. "so why the wine if you don't like to drink?" you deadpan.

"well im rarely ever around pretty women like you," he shrugs. the wine comes to your table and you can tell it's very expensive just from looking at it. you let the waiter pour both your glasses before speaking up again.

"what, you don't hire women at your company?" you don't know why you ask him this but you do. you're interested by this mysterious man and if he's going to be accompanying you for the rest of the train ride then you might as well learn more about him while you can.

"my company?" he laughs lightly taking a sip of the wine. "i do...though they're not the classiest." he hums looking at his cup. you sigh, not really caring to look into the specifications of what he's talking about. "what's your name anyways?" you ask.

he smiles again, "taehyun." you nod off looking back outside. "mine is y/n."

taehyun chuckles, "can i assume that's your real name?" you look back at him with an eyebrow raised. "why would i use a fake name?"

he nods with a smile on his face and his hands up in a defensive manner. "in my company that's what we do. i trust you with my real name though."

you frown, looking away. you're starting to get weird vibes from taehyun. he hasn't done anything weird per se however you get the feeling that he's a sketchy man.

you start to hear footsteps approach your table and when you look up you see a tall man with dark hair standing next to taehyun. he looks at you then at taehyun and leans down to whisper in his ear. taehyun stares at you the whole time while he listens to whatever is being said to him.

"ah i see," he says out loud. the man stands straight again and bows to you awkwardly and walks away. "looks like this," he gestures between you both. "has to be cut short."

"is something wrong?" you take a sip of the wine and swirl it around the cup, never taking your eyes off him. he fixes his suit and takes another sip of wine. "a minor issue with our luggage." is all he says. he winks at you when he stands up and proceeds to walk away in the same direction as the man.

you take a deep breath when he leaves. you feel like you've been holding it in all this time. taehyun feels like a really intimidating man and you don't know why you feel that way. maybe it's the way he speaks or the way he carries himself. you can't put your finger on it but there's something up with him.

you lean your head on your palm, looking outside again. you really miss yeonjun and you can't wait to see him, the mere thought of being with him again makes you giddy. it's unfortunate you can't call or text him right now but once you get to argus you already know the first thing you're doing with him.

some time passes and once you realize it it's dark outside. the train employees have dimmed the lights of the carts and lit some candles for a more homey feel and you can't lie, you like it. it makes the train feel more elegant than it already is.

you stand up to go back to your room which you're glad yeonjun brought you. there are parts of this train that are merely for everyday train riders and parts that are for people traveling much longer distances. the ones who travel from town to town are able to book rooms and that's exactly what yeonjun did for you.

you rub your eyes a little since the wine made you a bit drowsy but not tired to the point where you would be able to k.o. at the sight of your bed. you bump into someone along the way and quickly apologize for not looking. "y/n," you hear taehyun's voice. you look up and sure enough there he is.

you suddenly feel cramped in this small corridor. the corridor is only meant for one person at a time to get to their rooms however you and taehyun are standing face to face and your back is against someone else's door.

"oh taehyun, i was just about to go back to my room." you don't point in which direction because frankly, you don't want him to know where you'll be staying for the rest of the night. he places his hands at your waist and you're about to tell him to get his hands off you when he speaks up, "already? the night's still young," he laughs heartily.

you laugh dryly already feeling uncomfortable with his presence. "yeah well.." you trail off when you see something on his suit jacket. "what's that?"

you point at a red mark on his suit and he follows your gaze with a frown. he wipes it with his finger and inspects it as if he's clueless as to what the red substance could be too. "that's odd..im not sure," he says. he wipes it away and looks at you with a weird gaze, quietly telling you to drop it.

if you were feeling uncomfortable before, well you're certainly feeling unsettled now. you clear your throat and wiggle away from his light grasp on your waist. "well taehyun, it was nice seeing you again. im going to sleep so i guess i'll be seeing you for the last time when the train stops at argus?" you smile trying to draw away any tension.

he nods off, "right, i'll be seeing you off for argus in a couple of hours." he places his hand on his neck and cracks it, you flinch involuntarily and hope he doesn't notice.

it's silent for a moment, just like earlier. the only sounds being glasses clinking, hushed conversations, and the trains gears churning.

"sleep tight y/n," he finishes the conversation with an easy smile. you smile back and walk off towards your room. once you step in, you breathe heavily as if you'd just been drowned and came back for air. what's with that guy? now you really can't wait to get off this train.

you sit on your bed and think back to the interaction you just had. that red mark was definitely blood. it was too dark to be the wine you both were just drinking otherwise you would've pointed it out earlier. was he bleeding or was it from something or someone else?

you really don't want to dwell on it for much longer or else you'll force yourself to dig deeper into just who this taehyun is. for now, you simply let yourself take a nap for the rest of the journey to argus. you don't even let yourself dream of the strange man. you dream of seeing your boyfriend after months of waiting and finally getting to be with him.

and you don't even realize the hushed voices coming from just outside your door.