#and now i’m recovering on meds…?
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Went hopital < watched Stalker (1979) in hopital < behold sudden writing inspiration < write while high on meds < leave hopital < read weird shit I wrote now at home and not high on meds < very confused and wondering if I was actually in the Zone the whole time < what is happening
#lol#i got hit with some random stomach virus that really kicked my ass and i needed IV fluids because i couldn’t keep anything else down#and now i’m recovering on meds…?#everything was weird as hell#was i experiencing surreal russian mythos or not#updates#CrowNotes
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guys i think my depression meds are working
#i always forget to take before pics but the halfway-done pic works#the other side used to have a couch but there was also Stuff under/next to/behind it. so it was just as cluttered#i’ve been on these new meds for a couple months but i only just a week or two ago started like#taking them every day consistently. maybe missing one in ten days#as opposed to before i was probably missing it more often than i took it#i’m so bad at new routiiines#but!! doing better now!!!#doing cleaning i’ve been desperately wanting to do for two years#and putting off for no reason for six months#👍#well ok yes i guess burn out depression is a reason#but it’s frustrating when that’s the only reason#compared to my previous extremely crowded house (my family of four plus three roommates) and 50 hour work weeks#but i’m finally recovering from all that 👍👍👍#silverstarschat
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After 2 whole months having to go without it, I finally was able to get my adhd meds again y’all!!
(just in time for me to see FOB this weekend)
#I finally catch a break in this shit show that has been my life in 2024#my mom has recovered enough from her knee replacement that she doesn’t need me#to be her AND my youngest sister’s caretakers anymore#I can stop struggling with my mental health now that I’ll have the right meds again#the last hurdle is my physical health but my surgery is in less than a month#I know I’ve been MIA and I’ve hated it#I just haven’t had the energy and I’m excited to be bouncing back soon
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Still not used to how productive I am when I’m having both a decent joints day And a medicated for adhd day at the same time. I had a meeting with the school financial aid office to make sure I’m all good to go for the semester, added the approximate dates when I need to schedule another appointment with them to my calendar, updated both my personal budget spreadsheet And the one for my shared account with my gf for 2024, started a new budget spreadsheet for 2025, looked over my financial aid options, called my dentist (sadly they’re out of office, but I dialed the number!), and worked on a hat. It’s not even 4:30 yet
#fell off the schedule for taking my adhd meds cuz of holidays#you’re not supposed to take them too late in a day and I kept sleeping in#but now I’m back on schedule And my body is recovering from the non-stop stress of the holidays#meaning I’m both able to focus on things and Also physically capable of moving#still distractable as hell. but doing things!
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being an adult SUCKS i’m naked standing here in the kitchen searching ‘soup how to’ bc i forgot my towel in the clean laundry bag on other side of the flat
#stream#miserable !!!!#delaying the shower therefore i’m going to eat and then create a SCHEDULE whereby i will SHOWER …. THEN GO STRAIGHT TO BED#eventually i will incorporate idk a skincare routine at some point#‘skincare routine’ re: putting lotion on before bed#need a new morning routine bc it’s just ‘scramble to take pills if need to shit immediately then make coffee chug it then shit then recover#from the shitting’ but also getting high is definitely in there before shitting but i thought that was implied#by me waking up#OR it’s me ‘making coffee then taking the meds w the coffee if i don’t need to squart immediately’#congrats: u now know how to kill me; when i’m weakest !!! in the morning & wanting to DIE#actually my True Weakest is post shit where i’m like the withered gary the snail meme#me leaving the bathroom ravaged by war & experiencing shellshock#bc before then is I’m Going to Kill U For Impacting my Schedule#& at Night i’m at my Peak Form when things (my medication) are wearing off & i’ve gotten increasingly more & more high where i’m#particularly jumpy
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not going to be online all that often anywhere (or if I am it will be sporadic) for a bit due for mental health/physical health reasons but dw im getting some help and I have people supporting me, just need to focus on recovering for a bit. doesn’t mean I’ll be unreachable or that I’ll never be online while I’m recovering just that I’m officially declaring that this is something I need to do for myself in order to actually make progress getting better
#I’ve already been very MIA but now I’m stating the reason and attempting for some level of accountability lol#depression meds stopped working I think. I have an appointment finally scheduled to see what’s going on#it feels like it did when I was in middle school/high school which was about the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life#close second to after Clover died but even then I didn’t feel so scattered to the wind#doesn’t help that my health has been getting worse so I can barely keep moving to feel better#I just got some fibro meds that will hopefully help with the pain#but it’s hard to exist rn lol. like I said I will be ok I have lots of people supporting me I just need to focus on recovery#I just need to make sure I’m not falling apart like I’ve been doing bc I truly cannot continue this way#and I’m sick of not being able to function and feeling so angry and guilty abt that bc it hasn’t helped me recover#I need to be able to start the habit of functioning in a long term way that I can sustain#so that I can actually help others the way I want to
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#vent#cw vent post#cw vent#cw health#cw medical#cw medication#cw death#death mention#after nearly 2 weeks of unexplained pain and Symptoms and working myself up into the worst panic attack of my life#i finally caved and went to urgent care :)#it’s not lost on me that the same thing happened a little over a year ago. not bc of the same symptoms but it’s the same fear of dying#smthn smthn if i had a nickel smthn smthn weird that it happened twice. i rlly hope this doesn’t become a pattern#i can picture it now. every spring i walk in and they’re like ‘ugh it’s the neurotic hypochondriac with 4 anxiety disorders again 🙄#wonder what they think they’re dying of this time!’#sigh. anyways i’m fine. probably.#the consensus was ‘no you’re Probably not gonna have a stroke and die. you’re just Very stressed and in a lot of pain.’#got diagnosed with Stressed Guy Syndrome so now i take ✨painkillers✨ and ✨muscle relaxers✨ 🙃#they wanted me to take a steroid shot too but that felt like overkill. it’s also a big step for me to be willing to take anything at all#not bc i’m scared of getting a shot in the neck i’m just. scared of medication in general. the side effects. the potential for dependency.#it’s only for a week but i’m still uncomfy with it. but it Is nice to be in less pain. tho i have my doubts that it’ll help long term#time will tell. but i still can’t shake the fear of the tiny chance that it Could be more serious. but it’s not big enough for them to test#for it so. just gotta live with the fear. which in turn is making it hard to relax. which is what i’m supposed to be doing. so.#anyways. i Hope the meds work and i don’t end up back there next week spending More money and seeking more treatment#sighhhh i just can’t catch a break these days. it’s Always Something#at least the electricity and internet are back on after the tornado last week. and at least i’m not in much pain for now. silver linings.#sorry to everyone i’ve unintentionally ghosted but it’s been hard to think through the pain and now the meds are making me eepy#hopefully i’ll recover and recharge my social battery sooner than later. bc i do feel v bad abt it#and it’s So nice to sleep without much pain so i’m. taking advantage of that this week. Seven Try To Relax Challenge 2024
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there’s nothing like the relationship between a girl, an unfinished 70k(+) word fic for a show she hasn’t even watched yet, & 11pm-1am *twirls hair anticlimactically*
#pls don’t ask what the twirls hair thing means y’all idk what it means it’s one am and my first alarm goes off in five hours and i have a#full day of teaching/praying my meds are actually in now tomorrow or today ig and also recovering from sick#but sometimes brain says you post this bc you’re funny kay babes bestie#and you do it#idk where i am even going wigh gbjs post big you know what i am sleepy and it e xisys so i’m throwing this at you ghen passing out#tehe
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checking back into life after checking out is always so embarrassing like sorry i had to run into the woods and exist only as a concept for a few weeks… yeah it happens every year,,,, my husk will rehydrate soon
#on the upside I’m now able to bounce back by the end of the month instead of taking all of September to recover#I also found a doctor so hopefully I’ll be able to start meds again soon!#was like oh godddd oh god i can’t live like this and then i remembered… i literally don’t have to lmao
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Considering setting up a go fund me to get me out of my house or something
#please save me from my abusive parents#they don’t hit me anymore#but they tell me I’m a failure every single day.#like#I realize now how lame that sounds#but it’s just extreme emotional abuse#they used to beat me#now it’s just: not making food while I was recovering from surgery#even though they signed a contract#that required them to take care of me#going through my room when I’m out#stalking my location#going through the wifi router history#telling me I’m ugly#telling me I’m retarded#telling me I’m a failure#withholding my meds#general gaslighting#not misgendering me but not using gendered language at all#‘child’ instead of ‘son’#general verbal abuse#usually misogynistic#outing me as trans to people without my consent#(possibly dangerous people)#not allowing me to lock the bathroom door#My mom will literally start phone calls with someone else while I’m talking to her#literally only give me any love or affection in regards to academics#my dad loves to humiliate me in public lol#also they hurt my cat#tell me my interests are stupid
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I’ve finally been able to wake up to my alarms without having panic attacks the last couple of days which is a BIG improvement!! :) next up is setting earlier alarms and trying to eat breakfast with my medication instead of scrambling out of bed to take my meds before 12 lol
#personal#the ADHD med shortage fucked me up so bad man#like I’ve had my ritalin back since April and I’m only now starting to feel better in late August#I’m trying to go easy on myself because I just had like. the worst year of my life so far and recovering from that is hard#but it’s also hard to go easy on yourself when you’re so so unbelievably frustrated with yourself at the same time#anyway. I’m going to spend the day drawing and watching halloween movies because I’m excited for autumn :)
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Hi can u do a smau with max where reader is a doc for f1 and when max unfortunately has an accident she is one of the first responders(dont know what they are called!!!) And he just stares at her and its like love at first sight for him(he fell first and HARDER!!!!!) and everyone online could see it as well
Some teasing from other drivers as well
And proceed how u deem fit
Loved the sister in law one!!!!!!!
doctor lady | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x doctor!reader
summary: max never thought he would be happy getting a injury that puts him out of racing for three months, but when he has a doctor like you? he can’t help but be a little happy.
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liked by landonorris, yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 816,074 others!
maxverstappen1: we are allllm good guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are aliveee wnd well babybyvy 🤘AND me and lanHOE (becuare he id a BOE) got a pretty doctory lady 🥰🥰🥰 she’s sooooooooioiiooooo nice and prety AND she made us NOT feel pain so we love her 😍😍😍😍😍
view comments below!
user1: they got him on those GOOD painkillers
user2: we’ve seen drunk max, but drugged max? a whole new level
landonorris: guy our lady doctor is soilioooooooooo prety 😍
maxverstappen1: HEY NO 😡😡 i alreadys called dibs!!!!!! she’s MY prety doctor lady. she game ME her instagran and i’m takin HER on a date!
yourusername: if my supervisor is reading this, i gave him my instagram and agreed going on a date with him because he was being difficult, started crying, and wouldn’t take his medication until i did.
maxverstappen1: HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LOVE
user2: started crying??? max verstappen started crying???
user3: pain meds do that to you 🤕
user4: i need a video of that right now
user5: he is out of IT. i can’t wait till he wakes up and realizes what he’s done
charles_leclerc: happy you’re okay mate!
maxverstappen1: oh charles i have missed you dearly 🥰🥰 so happy you got 1st!!!!!!!
charles_leclerc: thank you max ❤️
maxverstappen1: i can wait for you to meet my future wife!!!!!!!! you’ll love her! she saved me life ❤️
charles_leclerc: someone please take his phone away
maxverstappen1: NOOOOO I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY FUTURE WIFR 😡
user6: max, charles is just trying to save you from the embarrassment
user7: when he sobers up, he either won’t give a shit and continue OR he’ll be so embarrassed and he’ll never show his face again
yourusername: everyone, please don’t pay mind to max, he is under very heavy drugs, and is not in a right state of mind. we have tried confiscating his phone, but he starts kicking and becomes difficult.
user8: i know this girl is scared for her job 😭
user9: having max as a drugged out patient seems horrible
user10: literal nightmare material
maxverstappen1: MYYY LOVVER HELLO
user11: good lord #freeyn
danielricciardo: i would say, i hope you recover, but i have a feeling you don’t want to recover?
maxverstappen1: I DONTTTT I NEVER EANT TO RECIVER BECAUSE THAT MEANS NOT SEEING MY BEAUTIFUL LADY DOCTOR SO NO!!! NO RECOVERY FOR ME
danielricciardo: screenshotting all of this for later 🤣
landonorris: i’m hungry, maxie can you tell lady doctor i’m hungry?
yourusername: you can talk to me lando. i’ll go get you something.
landonorris: NOOOO I CABR TALK TO THE LADY DOCTOR MAX SAID I CANT AND HE DAID IF I DID HESS GOING TO KILL ME AND I DONT WANT TO BE KILLED AHHHH
maxverstappen1: YOU FONT GET TO TALK TO MY PRETTY DOCTOR LADY IM GOING TO JILL YLY LANDO
user12: this is genuinely like the funniest shit ever 😭
user13: can’t believe in 10 years from now we’re going to look back at this and laugh
user14: 10 years?? bitch im LAUGHING RIGHT NOW
redbullracing; speedy recovery max! 💓
maxverstappen1: NOOOO NO SPEEDY RECOVERY NO RECOVERY FOR MAX
user15: head injury so bad he lost his love for racing
user16: on a serious note, his injury’s did seem pretty bad, especially his leg…
user17: honestly i’d be surprised if he returned to racing immediately
landonorris: maxie and me got separated :(((( 😞☹️😕😭🥺 lady doctor is is MEAN
yourusername: you two were arguing and disturbing the other patients.
maxverstappen1: DONT CALL MY LADY DOTCIT MEAN!!!!
user18: went from being worried to laughing out loud because wtf is this??
user27; lando and max crashing was NOT on my 2024 bingo card
user28: f1 having a big crash was not on MY 2024 bingo card
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redbullracing: unfortunately, due to last weeks crash regarding lando norris and max verstappen. max has been forced to take a three month leave of absence from racing, as he has severely fractured his lower leg. he has immediately started physical therapy, let’s wish him a speedy recovery ❤️🩹
view comments below!
maxverstappen1: what a shame 😕 truly saddened by this outcome 😞
user19: what??
landonorris: take a wild guess as to who’s going to be his doctor for three months?
user20: PRETTY LADY DOCTOR???
maxverstappen1: maybe 🥰
user21: we’ve entered the era where max does not gaf about racing as long as he gets to see yn
user22: does this mean he’s not winning the wdc?
user23: he still can, he just has to win basically every race after the 3 months, which isn’t exactly impossible for him
charles_leclerc; so sad for max!
user24: your ass does not feel sad for max 😭
user25: he has his eyes on the wdc!!!
user26: HE ACTUALLY HAS A CHANCE TO WIN BOW
maxverstappen1: @/yourusername, ready to take care of me for 3 months :D
yourusername: no
maxverstappen1: 😕
user27: HAHAHA
danielricciardo: LOSER
landonorris: HAHAH GET REJECTED
charles_leclerc: EMBARRASSING
oscarpiastri: that hurt to read
maxverstappen1: SHUT UP WHO ASKED YOU
user28: tbh i wouldn’t be excited to have max as a patient for 3 whole months with how he acted that night in the emergency room
user29: that man is secretly crazy and you can’t convince me otherwise
user30: i love how max is clearly like head over heels for yn, but she can’t date him because he’s her patient 😭
user31: she can’t?
user30: NO!!! that’s unethical, she can date him after the 3 months but not during
user32: that not being common knowledge to some people is concerning…
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maxverstappen1: day one of physical therapy a success ✅
view comments below!
landonorris: so, how many times did she reject you today?
maxverstappen1: ZERO.
yourusername: 10**
landonorris: TENN??????
maxverstappen1: i just don’t understand why she won’t say yes 😞
yourusername: because it’s severely unethical and will get me fired
maxverstappen1: so what i’m hearing is that you’ll go out with me when i’m no longer your patient?
user33: let the countdown begin
charles_leclerc: missed you at the race today!
maxverstappen1: no you didn’t
charles_leclerc: no i didn’t! MAX IT FEELS SO GOOD TOO WIN
maxverstappen1: yeah i KNOW.
yourusername: don’t worry charles, he was watching you during his whole therapy session, and cheered so loudly when you won that we got complains from patients on the other side of the building!
charles_leclerc: I KNEW IT!!!
maxverstappen1: you said you wouldn’t tell anyone yn 😕
user34: it’s so…unsettling seeing max be so publicly affectionate
user35: RIGHT?? like why is he so open about this??
user36: he has no shame…
yourusername: i told you to stop taking pictures of me while i’m working
maxverstappen1: but you just look sooooo pretty
danielricciardo: she doesn’t want you bro
maxverstappen1: SHUT UP
user37: she’s stronger then me, because if i had max verstappen down bad like that?
user38: no literally, i would’ve made him mine the same day we met
user39: why is max posting regular pictures?? it’s weird
user40: he’s trying to impress yn
user39: well he’s going about it all wrong. because these photos just don’t match?? cat, hospital, and then a crappy photo of a therapy room?? horrible horrible HORRIBLE
user41: damn…
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maxverstappen1: 2 months down…1 more to go!
view comments below!
user42: HE IS COUNTING DOWN
user43: WE KNEW IT!!!
landonorris: i can’t belive you tricked me into going to a photo shoot for you
maxverstappen1: that is not what happened.
landonorris: you told me we were going golfing, next thing i know i’m watching you get your picture taken like 92884 times 😑
maxverstappen1: just say your jealous
landonorris: OF WHAT???
user44: he’s getting better at being aesthetic
user45: he’s learning!!
user46: are we all going to skip past the fact that max, a hater of everything, had a whole as photo shoot for his instagram?????
maxverstappen1: yn told me i should post more photos of myself for the instagram
user47: so you had a whole photo shoot????
maxverstappen1: yes
user48: oh he’s in love
danielricciardo: looking good max 😍
maxverstappen1; thank you for the support daniel!
landonorris: was that a dig to me?
maxverstappen1: yes.
landonorris: I WAS EXPECTING GOLF
yourusername: looking good max
maxverstappen1: really??? you really think so??
yourusername: yes (with the upmost professionalism)
maxverstappen1: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
user49: why did max just add “yn thinks i look good 🥰” to his bio
user50: LMAOO I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING???
user49: no 😭 he very literally put “yn thinks i look good 🥰” in his bio
user51: why does it look like max is in the doctor training room?
maxverstappen1: because i am!!
user51: THEY LET YOU IN THERE????
yourusername: my boss is a huge f1 fan. so he lets max do whatever he wants 🙄
user51: i’m sorry that’s so funny 😭
user52: does max just follow her around all day??
yourusername: pretty much, yeah
user53: you have no idea how much i want to be you
charles_leclerc: wow max looking good
maxverstappen1: thank you charles
charles_leclerc: aren’t you going to put “charles thinks i look good” in your bio?
maxverstappen1: i don’t care about you enough for that
user54: DAMN THATS COLD
user55: those cats are so cute 🥺
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maxverstappen1: guys i did!!!! i got a date with the pretty doctor lady 🥰🥰
view comments below!
user56: when he falls first and harder >>
user57; this man is literally obsessed with yn it’s insane
landonorris: beat me too it
landonorris: THIS IS A JOKE PLEASE DONT KILL ME
maxverstappen1: nothing funny. i didn’t laugh. you aren’t funny.
landonorris: 😕
user58: WE CHEERED!!!
user59: i still think it would be funny if she just said no even after the 3 months
yourusername; i thought about it, but he’s rich and pretty so 🤷♀️
maxverstappen1: pretty :D
user60: she’s so pretty
maxverstappen1: like i’ve been SAYING.
user61: i’ve never seen a man so down bad before
user62: it’s unnerving
user63: a doctor, pretty, and funny?? max hit the jackpot
user64: they both hit the jackpot 😒 it pisses me off
user65: LMAO WHY??
user64: seeing people live the life i want makes me unexplainably mad
danielricciardo: you’re joking right? she’s not actually dating you?
maxverstappen1: what’s that supposed to mean
danielricciardo: it means she’s too good for you @/yourusername are you being held hostage
yourusername; yes
danielricciardo: OH I KNEW IT. DONT WORRY HELP IS ON THE WAY
maxverstappen1: you guys are mean.
yourusername: this means i can never be your doctor again
maxverstappen1: what if once day, on my way home i crash, and its a big crash with smoke and fire, and i get taken to the hospital but i refuse to let anyone touch me that isn’t you, would you still not help me?
yourusername: there’s just something so undiagnosed about you
user65: HAHAHA
user66: max is just so unexplainable
charles_leclerc: are my eyes deceiving me or did she finally say yes 
maxverstappen1: SHE SAID YES
charles_leclerc: OH YEAH OH YEAH I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT BUDDY
maxverstappen1: OH YEAH OH YEAH
user67: my lestappen heart 💔
. . .
notes: enjoy this while i spend the rest of my night learning how to play the sims
thank you for requesting!!
#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 x female reader#f1 social media au#f1#f1 fluff#formula one smau#formula one x y/n#formula one x you#formula one x reader
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Bruce getting injured on a mission- not like I’m going to die injured but enough that he’ll need a few days to recover- and doesn’t get away in time before the JL or the GCPD if you want extra flavor, shows up, and everything is fine, but then Batman just… collapses.
And they’re freaking out and calling a medic and whatever. And no one is really paying attention to Robin. Until they try to move Batman into an ambulance, or carry him away, or take off his mask. Then he goes fucking feral. All of a sudden there’s this phantom on top of the bats chest, two batarangs held up in both hands, hissing, in a crouch, slashing at anything that tries to get close. And they can’t separate him from the bat, no matter how hard they try. Until Batgirl shows up. And she, honestly, doesn’t help either. She ties up some loose ends that Batman hadn’t managed, but acts just as feral and possessive if someone takes a step towards him. Robin is calmer, marginally, at least not waving batarangs around, and is instead sitting on Batman’s chest, watching everyone warily. And before anyone can do anything more, the two of them lift him and are gone, as much the myth as most Gothamites still believe them to be.
Or… they manage to get Batman to the hospital/med bay, but Robin refuses to leave the room, stalking the doorway or sitting at his side, watching everyone with suspicious eyes. The others try to lock him into a game of uno, but he doesn’t focus, he’s twitchy and antsy, and can’t seem to sit still for very long before he’s back at Batman’s side. And then Batman wakes, a few hours later, and robin fucking transforms. Where he had been hissing and biting mere minutes earlier, now he’s smiling so wide it’s blinding, giving spontaneous high fives to people, though he still doesn’t stray too far from Batman’s side. And it’s then that everyone realizes who exactly Batman is. Not his secret identity, they aren’t there yet, but a father. His father to be exact. Before they thought it was some weird internship, maybe a team up, the way Batman and batgirl seemed to be. But not them. Not Batman and Robin. Because Batman holds the boy close, and kisses his forehead, and when they leave finally, Robin is holding his hand.
#batfam#batman#bruce wayne#batman and robin#batgirl#dick grayson#barbara gordon#idk#shower thoughts#also i need more protective barbara gordon over bruce
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I don’t understand not believing in self diagnosing because that’s literally the step before making the doctors appointment…. Like if you show up and you’re like hmmm I’m experiencing things? They will ask you a few questions and dismiss it as nothing. You actively need to know what your symptoms are, the things that it could potentially be, the reasons it is unlikely something that seems similar, and tell this to the doctor and ask for the treatment for that or for a referral to a specialist. Like that’s literally how it works.
#when I went to the docs for whatever is up w my nose and sinuses#i couldn’t actually tell what was up#but I wasn’t prepared enough and he just dismissed everything and gave me a nasal spray#when actually I rly need to see an ENT Specialist#when I had chickenpox I had days of GPs and paramedics and A&E Docs#asking so many questions and constantly theorising#like bro it’s chickenpox I’m so so sure#several days later after I’ve been stabbed for blood tests in so many places they’re struggling to find fresh veins#they tell me it’s chickenpox… like bro ik#and then the chickenpox led to facial paralysis and they’re like. hmm has she had a stroke?#no I had facial paralysis caused by chickenpox like keep up. gimme the meds now so it’s not permanent 😭😭#they took so long to get me meds that the left side of my face didn’t fully recover#and u basically can’t notice but sometimes I do cos idk. there’s just weird little things
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#I think I’m at that annoying stage nobody ever talks about#where I was in survival mode for literally years#like FIVE YEARS#and now I think I’ve found a med regiment that works#and my life has kinda been reclaimed#but now I need to relearn how to function in society?#like normally if I had any energy it was devoted to making the most of my day bc I just never had energy and needed enjoyment#but now that I’m getting that daily it’s like. okay. time to focus on making the most of every day#but I have so much work to do lol. and I need to relearn how to overwork myself#like relearn how to have that willpower and desire to pursue goals that are hard which got me to where I am#clearly I have it.#but like I lost that… discipline while sick. and now that I think I’ve fixed the issue I haven’t fully recommitted to recovering it#there’s so many skills I wanna develop on top of my career#but I think my career is so ambiguous with its goals and shit that it’s easy to feel ok with things and let stuff slide#so that’s my goal for the remainder of the year.#fully refocus on developing routines and boundaries#and if I have to go overboard and sign up for classes etc to relearn then so be it#but I need to regain that discipline#idk it’ll all work out but for now I just gotta relax + unwind + change my habits#I guess you don’t think about how being chronically unwell for five years ingrains bad habits in you#so that even when you’re better you have to actively unlearn business as usual and develop something new for your routine#I’ll make it work. it’s just gonna take some time. down to be patient with myself as I relearn that lol
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