#and now i cry myself to sleep at night | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

birdy-babe · 8 months ago

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ME JUST REALIZING THAT "stols" IS CANON!??!?!?!? WHEN I THOUGHT IT WAS FANON/ A HEADCANON THIS WHOLE TIME?!?!?!?

THROWING UP, SOBBING, SLIDING DOWN A WALL, SCREAMING, KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING

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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 months ago

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was watching apocalypse with my brother and once the cerebro scene popped up he was like 'charles has a helmet like erik, only instead of keeping people out, he tries to reach out and connect with others' like guys i need to bash him with a rock

#xmen #xmen apocalypse #xmen movies #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #is this cherik. probably #snap chats #GENUINELY what is his deal #'snap i thought you were watching x2' and i finished it and then my bro came up so i decided to rewatch apocalypse while he was here #hello chat. im aware the people enjoy my brother's quotes so here i am sharing another as it has damaged my brain #GUYS I HATE MY BROTHER WHY DOES HE KEEP SAYING THIS SHIT BEFORE I CAN THINK IT #so real tho ..... also i may be drunk so maybe im more emotional about this revelation than i should be but still #basic observation im aware but still ... doesnt become less wack when you say it out loud ....#thats so fucked ... i mean 'people' being charles but still ... why would you say that #i still have some of my whiskey left so im gonna pound it and then drink some water and probably cry myself to sleep #or ill doodle a sketch idk. im inspired.#for now good night !!!!!!!!!!!!! all my brother does is accidentally inflict psychic damage upon me #AGAIN you never expect it from your brother but thats what makes it esp whiplash inducing .......

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rooksblvd · 5 months ago

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oh i'm SICK

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faustiandevil · 7 months ago

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There is no greater personal Hell of your own making then getting obsessed with some dead actor and not being able to watch their entire filmography.

#Peter Lorre #Béla Lugosi #Terry-Thomas #Thorley Walters #Faustian Fables #This is because I couldn't watch Operation Snatch (1962) yesterday #Whad'ya mean it's not online???#Same goes for Second Fiddle (1957) too #It's a found movie now and on DVD!!!#I wish too see but I'm poor #I cry myself to sleep every night about Der Januskopf #They put my dad in the same movie as Caligari Cabinet's Cesare!!#Conrad Veidttttt is there!!!#And I cannot see it???#The closest I got to a complete filmography finish was with Peter #But even then there are a few that are online just without eng subs so there's not much of a point #Or like lost lost #Where the funk is The Missing Wife???#If you read all this #Hi welcome to my breakdown of today #I just wanted to see slutty Terry-Thomas and the Gay Falcon #But I was denied that pleasure

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marielism · 8 months ago

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doodled them 10 minutes before my final exam in field methods class…

#jarvis cocker #kylie minogue #wip #my art #life update ->#my cat dorian passed away last night and my grandmother is in the ICU in critical condition right now #and i still had to take my final exam in field methods #but i didn’t study at all bc u know ive been pacing around my home like a ghost and crying myself to sleep u know how it is #guess what i got during my finals #85%!!!!!!! with puffy eyes and constant grief #and i was like using every piece of stock knowledge and common sense i had #it’s pretty much the worst day of my life right now but that’s okay #hope everyone is well

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sunfloweraro · 28 days ago

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Sneak peek!

Aka more Pink Bunny AU!!

Ravio reaches his breaking point.

@thatonecrazysidekick as promised >:)

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

First, Link had stopped speaking. Then, he had stopped being Hylian. Now, he was refusing to eat, too.

What was Ravio doing wrong?

“Please,” he begged, pushing the bowl closer to Link. “Eat something. It will help you feel better.”

Link turned away again.

And something within Ravio snapped.

He slammed his hands on the kitchen table, tearing a flinch from Link. “Please eat something, Link!” Link turned to him, alarmed, but Ravio couldn’t make out his expression when his vision went blurry with tears. “Come back to me already, I miss my best friend, damn it!” He clenched his hands tightly, nails digging into his palms. “What—What’s wrong with you?!”

Silence rang out between them, as it had for months now. And then—

Link whimpered softly, a terrified little thing that had Ravio’s breath hitching.

What had he done?

“Link, I—I—”

Another whimper when Ravio reached for his friend, and then that blur of pink darted away from him. Ravio scrubbed at his eyes, vision clearing in time to see Link dart out of the open kitchen window and into the snow. A gasp tore from his throat and he raced to the window, leaning out as desperation swelled within him. But Link was already gone.

Link was… gone.

What had he done?

Another sharp gasp, which turned into a hitch of his breath. Ravio turned back to the kitchen. He should go out there and find his best friend. He should apologise for being so awful, for not being enough. He needed to fix this.

Instead he leaned back against the wall, slowly sliding down the old wood. His vision blurred as hot, sticky tears dripped down his chin. He dropped to the floor, gazed down at his shaky hands, hands that his best friend had flinched away from. With a choked sob, Ravio buried his face in his hands, curling up on the kitchen floor, alone.

This was all his fault.

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deoidesign · 8 months ago

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#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

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dogboner · 8 months ago

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personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"

#guy who's very proud of how well he's handling things rn lol #anyways personal time:#but idk man i kinda remembered smthn from my past n #like. if it wasn't for how much effort i've put into my mental health n coping skills #n my support network now #idk id be in a much worse place.#so i'm gonna forgive myself for not really sleeping last night #n having a hard time with my bpd feelings n emotions #because fuck man! i'm doin really good actually!#growth doesn't have to be oh man i'm never ever sad anymore #it's just. idk i don't cry because i Wanna die anymore #sometimes i have an intrusive thought of suicide #and it makes me cry because i DONT wanna die. and i know those thoughts are not good or needed #but i'm not gonna beat myself up for having them. i'm just gonna be patient n gentle w myself #n give myself time #n everything will be okay(:#bc it is okay! it's in the past and i'm safe now. and i wanna make other people feel safe too #growth starts w baby steps. n that's why it's so hard to recognize in yourself a lot of the time #it goes slooooooowly. for me at least lol.#mine #despite everything i am happy because i know my life now is one i love (: and one im actively trying to better for myself

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writeraid · 2 months ago

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Having a sleepover with Marc and Steven (honestly Jake too.) would at least aid in helping about 99.9% of my problems! If not fixing them outright!

#And no I don't mean like *that*#I've made an entire post about the fact that I don't want to do *that*#Id probably trauma dump with Marc about our respective Mommy Issues #And then talk history with Steven #I feel like he'd be able to get really into fashion history #And let him talk about Egypt #And probably cry at some point #Just one big therapy session honestly #And I just know that apartment probably feels so safe and cozy #And- I'm going to stop now because this is how I lull myself to sleep when I'm not feeling too hot #And can continues on this ramble for actual hours #late night rambles #moon knight #marvel #mcu #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley

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sherlock-is-ace · 4 months ago

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#idk if it's because i've given autism a very in depth look now or if i just always been like this and never really thought about it #but i'm finding it harder and harder to match my feelings to what i guess i'm supposed to feel?#like when something sad happens and i have no reaction to it #it's not that i'm not sad or that i'm glad it's happening but i just have no feelings?#which in turn bring put feelings of guilt because i'm not sad or worried enough...#it's such a weird experience and i'm of course not saying that autistic people have no feelings #that's so not what i'm saying #but it is a trait of autism to have difficulty pinpointing what you feel and also difficulty expressing it in ways other people usually doit #so perhaps it is because i've learned about that that I'm accepting that maybe i just don't feel things ''the normal way''#but i'm having a weird one tonight because my mom had to leave because of an emergency with my grandma #and it's 1am right now #and i am worried. of course i am. I don't want my grandma to suffer (although i have accepted she's not gonna live much longer)#but i still don't want her to die obviously #and most importantly I don't want my mom to have to go through that... to see her mother die? that's horrible #i'm obviously sad and worried #yet i'm sitting here drinking coffee and laughing at funny videos like nothing's happening #and i feel fine... like as if my mom was just sleeping at home like every night and not at a hospital visiting her dying mother...#and i know that years back i would have gone ''what the fuck is wrong with me?!'' and perhaps maybe forced myself to feel worse #or to cry or whatever because I can't be chill when something bad is happening...#and maybe i'll feel that way when my mom is back because I can't be calm and happy is she's sad #that would be rubbing it in her face #so maybe i'll feel more guilty then?#idk it's a weird feeling that i wanted to put into words #mostly for when it happens again i'll have a record of it somewhere #idk #angel talks #personal

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slutdge · 1 year ago

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Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.

#can anyone provide me guidance on this? ill bring it up with my therapist but i dont see her for another week #anyways im making myself cry late at night whats new lol ive been processing a lot this week #ok eta: and theyll always make you feel bad for this!!!!!#theyll be like ''ok so everyone has to bend to your commie regime to have a relationship with you 🙄''#like yeah actually you do #if you really loved me like you claim to you wouldnt be FUCKING VOTING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY #yes you do have to respect my rights if you want to have a relationship with me that is completely reasonable #whats ACTUALLY unreasonable is you asking me to ''just get over'' the fact that yall support people who think i shouldnt have human rights #right wingers will try to gaslight you into believing basic human decency is an unattainable and torturous request #then when you get upset theyll be like ''god the left is so emotional 🙄''#like yeah. i am. and you should be emotional too about human rights violations. the fact that youre not is pure evil.#anyways ill go cry myself to sleep like a faggot now #it just breaks my heart that i dont have any immediate family members who dont blatantly hate me for being queer/first nations

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elenadoeslife · 5 months ago

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💀

#another night on the couch because my ears are raw from 3 weeks of wearing ear plugs that don't fit right #i get to choose between ear pain but comfy bed or nerve pain but silence #i need to get fitted ear plugs so bad but i haven't had the time to stay at my parents to get them fitted (it's in their city)#so i've been sleeping like shit for a big part of 3 weeks. no wonder i'm snappy and exhausted. pfff #i love babe but i need complete silence in order to fall asleep and he's been snoring more and more the last year #any advice is welcome #i'm gonna cry myself to sleep because of exhaustion now. k bye xo

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tomfrogisblue · 1 year ago

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I have finally finished O Segredo Na Floresta.

I have cried more than I thought possible.

And I fear I shall never be the same.

#i have discovered that however bad quarentena was - cellbit has tons more angst material ready to unleash when least expected #it was so so so good but my god - i have never felt more empty #you ever see a piece of media and think yeh this is gonna change the way i view certain things forever - yep.#but now i enter the ordem episodes that arent captioned and only have the youtube autotranslate - the final boss for my portuguese knowledge #cellbit #ordem paranormal #this post is sort of my proof to myself when i actually finished the bastard - this season was three billion years long i swear #and still so long to go #cellbit will continue to stab my emotions for many more hours to come!!!#it is very late at night and i am very sad. TIME TO START THE NEXT ONE :D #o segredo na floresta #enigma do medo #bro i need to yell at someone about the last like hour of the damn thing because i have many things to say. or maybe just cry some more #at least my portuguese is much better now lmao. I'll get to a point where i can just listen to an episode with no subtitles if it kills me!!#hopefully cellbit will be back on the qsmp soon to rip my heart out with a cute lil cubito delivering heart wrenching angst for some variety #qsmp #ok sleep time lmao

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casperth3ghost · 3 days ago

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yes i am currently aobbing on my floor trying to figure out ways to fall asleep faster bcuz its already 1:30am and i have to wake up at 6am

#im crying so hard rotht now og my god #WHY AM I CRYING????#i already took melatonin and it didnt do jackshit #i think i accidently made myself immune to it #i may just not sleep tonight and take no naps tmrw and just pass tf out as soon as i get home tmrw night #im so fucking wide awake rn what is this personal hell im in #im just gonna diy until im tired

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alxor-of-hellsite · 8 days ago

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THINGS!

2025 is going to be the most jam packed stressful year of my life & i know that for sure because a lot is already planned. So i WILL be an absolute mental wreck (this is apologies in advance) & i will literally be clinging onto support most likely the whole year so tumblr will either be me spamming constantly or me not here for weeks or months at a time & barely posting? i’m so unpredictable. Anyways my entire life is guaranteed to change & the best case scenario will still ruin a lot of shit for me so if i get really depressed THERE IS REASON!!!! & i’ve already made several promises so the world is stuck with me if i can help it. so uuhhhhhhhhh YEAH. ANYWAYS IM SCARED FUCKING SHITLESS LIKE ZERO SHIT SCARED OUT KF MY FUCKING MIND SO YEAH. THE MENTAL STATE WONT BE THE BEST. LOVE YOU GUYS!!! IF MY ACTIVITY IS SPOTTY IM NOT DEAD WE’RE PROBABLY JUST DISSOCIATED AS SHIT!

Anyways. TLDR i’m going to be super fucking stressed out & out of pocket for the next year because of shit.

Any friends of ours read tags pretty please <3

#new year 2025 #going to be super hyperactive or stare at a wall for a week & i don’t know which one it will be yet it’s leaning towards stare at a wall #for maybe like a month. just stare at wall & cry #BUDDY REN IS NOT OKAY! BUT HANGING IN THERE!#WE COMMITTED TO HARD TO THE BIT THAT IS LIFE SO YALL ARE STUCK WITH ME LESS SUN DONT SHINE RIVERS TAKE ME DOWN!#mighhhhhht end up relapsing on the addiction but that is way better than being dead. it doesn’t have to be healthy at this point #as long as it keeps me alive & sane i guess? i’ll obviously try not to but like dark times are dark #life update #IF YOU ARE AN IRL THAT I TALK TO OFTEN & YOU NOTICE ME NOT RESPONDING TO ANYTHING OR REACHING OUT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD REACH OUT #IM SAYING THIS NOW BECAUSE IVE BEEN INCREDIBLY SUICIDAL BEFORE & AM BEING CAUTIOUS AS HELL!!!! MENTAL STATE IS NOT A FUCKING GAME OVER HERE #LIKE IF I START SHOWING SIGNS & I AM NOT TAKING CARE OF IT ALREADY REN IS A STUBBORN BITCH & WILL REFUSE HELP BUT IM NOT PLAYING #IF SHIT STARTS GETTING CONCERNING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE INTERVENE #LIKE OBVIOUSLY IF YOU ARENT DOING GOOD EITHER & NEED PRIORITIZE YOURSELF DO THAT!!!#BUT IF YOU ARE IN A POSITION TO HELP & CATCH ON TO ANY CONCERNING SIGNS PLEASSSSSSE DONT LET THIS BITCH TURN HELP DOWN & INTERVENE #WE WILL PROBABLY NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET & ALL THE SUPPORT WE CAN ASWELL #BUT ALSO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PLEASEEEE? DONT IGNORE YOUR OWN NEEDS #APOLOGIES IF THIS IS WORDED BAD IM NOT THE BEST WRITER THATS NOT MY JOB #SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU GUYS & IM GOING TO TRY MY HARDEST TO SUPPORT MYSELF BUT WE MIGHT NEED MORE HELP THAN WE CAN GIVE OURSELVES ALONE?#IF ANY OF THIS SHIT MAKES SENSE #MIGHT NOT? I DUNNO DM ME IF YOU WANT TO BATTLE PLAN WITH ME #THE BATTLE BEING LIFE WHILE CHANGING LITERALLY EVERYTHING & MAYBE BEING AN INTERNALLY DISPLACED REFUGEE IN THE COMING MONTHS #I LOVE YALL! UH THANKS FOR READING I GUESS? IM TIRED & GONNA SLEEP NOW #GOOD NIGHT YALL <3

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cosmogyros · 8 days ago

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#i think getting nearly firecracker-bombed the other evening affected me more than i realized at the time #because this has been by far the worst new year's ever for me #in the past i was never more than mildly annoyed by it and even enjoyed the midnight fireworks climax #but i think i might have actually gotten a bit traumatized by that experience two days ago #and hadn't acknowledged it to myself / processed it. as today/tonight has demonstrated #it's past 3 a.m. now and i'm still crying too hard to sleep #and my whole body has been shaky for the past... 10 hours. or so.#even though the fireworks at midnight weren't really that bad at all #not even close to being as terrifying as the three explosions earlier this evening #which in their turn were easily outdone by the street explosion on saturday night that deafened me #i think i may be having a legit delayed trauma response to that now #re-triggered every time a firework goes off near me #i've never been someone who feels much fear #i feel stress and anger and discomfort and i worry and overthink sometimes #i've done a lot of things in my life while thinking 'well. this might be about to kill me. but we all die someday'#and never till this weekend did i feel terror on this level #(a technically unjustified terror too. bc inside my flat i'm almost 100% safe. so that again suggests a trauma response)#i don't think i've ever cried from sheer fear for my safety before #and every post i see saying 'happy new year' makes me feel sick bc it reminds me of this horrible weekend #it's wild how my lifelong feelings about fireworks could change so completely in the course of just three days #for the first time in my life i feel the need for one of those drugs that blunts your emotions and helps relax you #what is that... xanax or something like that? how do you get it? do you need a prescription?#i feel like a doctor would just scoff if i told them that NYE fireworks traumatized me so bad i need medication now #i've been trembling for hours. i'm so tired. i wish i could sleep #*three days ago

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