#alex palmer

[torrancefavgirl]

DATING DAMON TORRANCE HEADCANONS

The softest teddy bear ever to you

Owner of the "hates everyone but you" trope

He thinks he's in control but he's just stupid it's Obviously you

You have this man wrapped around your finger

Literally might as well put a leash on him

But he's so good to you and he's so sexy that he has you on your knees as well

He's insanely possessive sometimes it'll be a problem but he's getting better

You're his goddess in a temple and he's the servant

Not ashamed in the slightest to go on his knees for you

His type = you. Period.

Rich ass husband will be spoiling you 24/7

If you stare at something for too long you'll find it on your nightstand 2 days later

Dates all the time before and after kids

The honeymoon phase never goes away with you guys

If you smoke too, yall are chainsmokers together

Big on physical touch. Little kisses all the time everywhere on you

Writes you love letters and hides them around the house for you to find randomly

Will not admit that he's sick until he's bedridden

Will never allow anyone to touch him while he's sick other than you

Matter of fact nobody touches him but you

Sleeps on the side closest to the door just in case

If you're into cars, he loves to work on cars with you

[pro-logue-epi-logue]

RANDOM DEVIL'S NIGHT THOUGHTS

~NUMBER 18~

Devil's Night-

Some things people forgets or pay less attention to:

1. Michael was also abused by his father.

2. Rika lost her father to accident but her mother to drugs and depression( she didn't die but she was not fine at all).

3. Banks mother made her steal things before she lived with the torrance's.

4. Banks mother SOLD her to damon when she was 12.

5. Damon saved Winter from an abusive family.

6. Damon saw all kinds of horror by the age of 11 in his house.

7. Only person who cared about winter is damon.

8. Winter gets left behind because of being blind, by her own family and even by the "found family" gang.

9. In the entire series only Emory pushed Will to do better and be better.

10. Will would have dies by 30 if Emory would not have came in the picture again.

11. Emory's parents died when she was 11.

Her brother who was fun suddenly became the thing of her nightmares.

She was abused financially, emotionally, physically and mentally for years.

12. Emory's abuse started when she was 11 and did not stop until she was 18 all of her formative years revolved around abuse.

13. Everytime Martin used to hit emory and she was brused or bleeding NO ONE used to put medication on her, NO ONE.

14. 11 years old Emory used to go to school with bleeding wounds or bruised body.😭😭

15. Emory only used to get hugs from her grandma even that stopped when she was 14.

16. Emory Scott lived a hellish life of abuse, got out of that house, got a better education and then became an ARCHITECT but it was always overlooked.

17. Emory was probably alone at her college graduation.

18. Emory fell in love with Will when she was 16 but had to let him go because she knew he would never understand her trauma( he didn't even when he was 26) and she would only bring him pain.

19. Emory always considered Alex as a friend but Alex was never a friend to Emory.

20. When Emory was getting rape threats( more than 4, yes i kept a count), was bleeding and getting brused, aydin was playing with her mind and rory wanted her to die, while not knowing anything about those boys, Alex was hiding safely in blackchurch, knowing what aydin can do, how taylor was a vile rapist and rory was a serial killer, and she called herself a "friend" of Emory.

21. Alex could have easily found 2 minutes to show herself the first day Emory arrived at blackchurch and explain everything, but she didn't, until she realized Aydin liked Emory, and she was jealous.

22. Alex was not planning to take Emory back to Thunderbay with them, hence not telling anyone about her from her satellite phone.

23. Alex was neither a good friend to Will nor to Emory.( she came to blackchurch for aydin, told a legit addict how she preferred him drunk, don't even get me started on how bitch she was to Emory example hitting a abuse survior even completelybeing aware of emmy's abuse).

24. Alex was always jealous of Emory and hated her all throughout Nightfall for no reason. (Will was literally in love with her since emory was 13,

Aydin whom Alex loved ignored her and never respected her in 7 years but respected Emory in 1 day and was a friend to emmy in blackchurch.

Micah and Rory were acting like brothers to emory within knowing her for only 1 day.

Will wasn't giving Alex time of the day in blackchurch and thinking of emmy

Emory faced life of difficulties but made something of her, architect, but alex hated what she did.

Emory had no one with her but was still standing strong but alex had the support of the friends and would be nothing without them

Emmy didn't need anyone but alex did

Every single boy in blackchurch respected and wanted to be close to emmy and save her but Everyone was ignoring alex, literally micah and rory didn't even gave her 1 look).

25. Alex was in love with Will and wanted to marry him.

26. The friend Will was to Alex he was never to Emory.

27. Will never understood Emory and her abuse.

28. Alex hated Emory but was fake acting as a friend and always looked down on Emory's and never leaft a chance to show her down( everyday she was visible in blackchurch,

Everytime aydin looked at emmy,

The entire train ride,

And even after the train ride in some scenes).

29. Alex COMPARING her difficulty life to Emory a literal surivor of child abuse and trauma was the most Shittiest thing.

( i get it alex had seen bad times butttttttt alex was thrown out of college when she was 18, started working as a luxury escort at 19,

But emmy lost her parents at 11,

Got brutally abused EVERYDAY from 11 to 18,

Lost the love of her life at 16,

Had to take care of her grandma since she was a child herself,

Had to make all adult decisions as a child.)

30. Alex thought Will was in love with her too.

31. Emory was more like Damon than anyone. Literally they are the 2 sides of same coin.

32. Emory at 16 always thought she will bring will down with her problems and he deserves to always smile so she let him go.

33. When emmy saw damon bury a body her first instinct was not to run but asked him if Will had anything to do with it.

34. Alex was going to use Will as plan B and marry him to make aydin jealous and make him feel less.

35. Emory was abused financially, emotionally, physically and mentally for years.

36. Emory had no one to lean on since she was 11 to she was 25, thats 14 YEARS!

37. Banks was the knly girl in a house full of gangsters and criminals.

38. Both Emmy's and Will's reaction after seeing a dead body is to dump it in ocean.

39. Will thought of Emory the first time he drowned and the second time too just like he did the third time.

40. Will was never in love with Alex.

41. Aydin had to fight his entire abusive family for Alex but when he came back She acted as if she was the only victim( as always).

42. Aydin was someone else's boyfriend when Alex wanted him and Alex was her friend, just like she wanted Will knowing full well Will and Emmy have a thing and just like she was Emmy's "friend".

43. Emory don't remember her parents.

44. Rika and Alex wanted the horseman validation. Seriously they were drooling for it.

45. Emory and Banks has no respect for The horseman. (Okay we all know this).

46. Kai got the biggest daddy issues.

47. Pd's decision to insert Alex in Nightfall was completely stupid, it ruined the book. WILLEMMY'S BOOK SHOULD HAVE BEEN THEIR ONLY!

48. Rika and Alex are not girls girl.

49. Rika knew Damon wanted to hurt Winter still didn't do anything.

50. Emmy was the only person someone can rely on.

51. Will knows how to tattoo someone and he tattooed most of his tattoos himself when he was in jail.

52. Both best friends Damon and Will are stalker they both stalked their Love interests. I mean guys Damon was is Winter's house and Will... this guy knew EVERYTHING about Emmy, on Saturday she works all day at gazebo, she gies to school, gazebo and her house not other places, her with her grandma.

[rooksblvd]

oh i'm SICK

[urlocalrambler]

DN thoughts: Alex Palmer.

My views on Alex are probably not as interesting or as spirited as some other people's viewpoints. However, as someone who was thoroughly apathetic to her storyline, I think the DN fandom is skewed on a double-ended spectrum of either hating on Alex like a devil incarnate, or revering her like a goddess. I find this difference very fascinating as someone just peering in as a casual observer of her character.

Ultimately, I think the problem with Alex is that often, in typical dark romance series spanning over several couples like Devils Night, you'd expect Alex to get her own book and to end up with a horsemen. This is what many fans expected of Alex. She was Rika's best friend, the only other woman we were allowed to care about and be invested in through the duration of Corrupt and I guess, beyond it too, so fans were invested in her. Unlike the other girls, Alex was never villainised by the horsemen at any point, she was accepted into the fold and that made her interesting because she was untouched by the brush that tainted all the other female main characters. Alex was put on a pedestal and was the 'all-around badass' of the series.

If this was any other dark romance book, the next tale in line would've been for Alex after Corrupt.

Add in the fact that there was also A LOT of Will / Alex shoved into the books prior to Nightfall... Well, it probably fed into this assumption regarding Alex. Nightfall and Conclave only made it worse as they both put forward the idea of a love triangle of Alex / Will / Emory. It probably felt natural for some fans to be pre-disposed to supporting and excusing all of Alex's actions because we met her first, Alex was portrayed as Will's partner in crime, so it maybe felt natural to ship AlexWill over WillEmmy. Personally, I was never a fan of Alex (and I also wasn't much of a fan of Will) but I can see why Pen subverting expectations and pursuing WillEmmy as endgame from the very start might've surprised people. After all, Alex was pushed into the spotlight so much in the other books. She was given so many scenes with Will, and she even ended up invading the storyline of Nightfall and was positioned as Will's other choice who stuck with him at his worst... So even if she was shitty to Emory, it's very easily swept under the rug.

Alex was cool girl. Alex was the one who stood by Will. Alex supported Rika as her ride or die. Alex could do no wrong... Alex was honestly a very hollow character.

I think, within DN, Alex was the only character who felt the most like caricature to me. She was the very embodiment of the 'female lead's best friend' trope. Pen tried to get her out of that mould, but it didn't really work because they weren't willing to let Alex's character fail or stumble or be anything other than well-liked and universally adored.

In my opinion, this glazing is because Alex's character is supposed to be proof that the books aren't misogynistic or self-insert wish fulfilment – Alex is a neon sign that says 'look! this book doesn't shit on all women that aren't named Rika. It really doesn't. Look, we have a sex worker bff character who everyone loves too. This isn't just Rika's world. See, see, look at Alex!' But well, the problem is that the world is still very clearly Rika's to own and we are only really allowed to like Alex because she bows down to Rika and will never be perceived as better than her.

Then, as the series progresses, Alex evolves into the fairy godmother role of being the cool girl who gets the other girls outside of their square box by ?? talking up sex a lot ?? Personally, I found it weird. I strongly disliked Alex's scenes in Hideaway, I didn't understand why she had to come onto Banks, I kinda got Rika / Alex in corrupt because that was about Rika showing Michael that she could do exactly what he does even if I did found it kinda cringe. But Banks / Alex, I didn't see any value in it– all of Alex's scenes in Hideaway were just done for the purpose of shoving her in as that fairy godmother, sexually-charged bff role again. Same with Nightfall, I found the Emory / Alex sex scene to be useless rather than them reclaiming power, reconciling, getting square with each other, or whatever the hell it was supposed to mean.

Personally, I think the problem with Alex is that she is a trope rather than a fully-formed character. In some instances, she even felt more like a plot device. To improve her character, Alex should've been given her own book rather than glomming her into Nightfall's storyline. Or she should've just stayed in her trope-y role of Rika's BFF.

Keep in mind. This is just MY interpretation of the character. I neither like nor dislike her. Y'all feel to love or hate her as you wish.

[kathanislilbitch]

Here we have pd yet again refusing to acknowledge their readers' opinions and feelings. Pretty sure they have learnt nothing from how the dn series crashed and burned

[kitjosten13]

I’m an Alex Palmer defender until I fucking CROAK dude

I’m a WillDamon defender UNTIL I CROAK

I’m a WillAlex defender UNTIL I FUCKING CROAK

I’m a WillDamonAlex defender UNTIL I FUCKING DIE AND YES I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL MY GOD

[vrsegirl]

alex palmer & erika fane — moodboard.

devil's night series by penelope douglas.

[tawneybel]

Note: Imgflip hasn't been working for me. Good thing MBV's not too obscure.

Imagine the Miner feeling bad about how you got freaked out by a fresh corpse, so he decides to apologize by helping you wash off the blood.

Why do you seem so reluctant to be escorted to the showers? There’s no one else (living) here. And he’s not taking his miner gear off. Harry doesn’t want you to think he an ulterior motive. Why were you here, anyway?

Revenge was his main objective that night, but he’d been admiring you from afar a little. No valentine for ______ this year. At least, not until later. When the Miner had exacted his revenge, your affection was next. Everything about you was dulcet. Of course you’d make the perfect sweetheart. You were the sweetest thing in Valentine Bluffs.

So it shouldn’t surprise him if someone else had sunk their teeth into you. If they had, you’d been discreet about it. Good girl. If there was even anyone else in the picture.

Harry gazed upon your glum face. His pickaxe was lying maybe ten meters away. His hands (gloved) were upon your cheeks, not your neck. How he longed to caress them and kiss it! You clearly weren’t a target. That was the problem. Not one shot at your heart.

Well, the Miner thought as he removed a glove, revenge could wait.

The reverse V-sign caught you off guard.

“Victory?”

No. He moved his hand, the mask’s tube between his middle and index fingers.

“You want to…?”

Your secret admirer used his other hand to indicate it wasn’t just his tongue that wanted to make your acquaintance that evening.

“You want to take a shower first?”

At least he was kind enough to take you away from the hooked bodies. The Miner shook his head.

“You want me to take a shower first?”

Honestly, you looked pretty bathed in blood, but Harry really wanted to see you wet. And he would see you wet, if only you’d let him. Judging by the way your thighs rubbed together, you were getting there.

He tilted his head. Then shrugged before getting on his knees.

[monstersandmixed]

Dr. Alex Palmer

A college anthropology professor at Ferrough Community College, and doing his best to be an “ex” monster hunter. Dr. Palmer is a recent migrant to Ferrough, moving into town with his husband and two children after negotiating a sabbatical with the shady, quasi-militaristic monster hunting agency, Delta Green (no relation to the game), which is determined to rope him back into the business. A chronic insomniac and generally suspicious individual, he is never without a ritual dagger and a cup of black coffee.

(Playbook: The Mundane)

[torrancefavgirl]

DATING DAMON TORRANCE HEADCANONS PT.2

This man is not ashamed in the slightest to go on his knees for you

Will buy a new outfit + new lingerie for every date/event

So so clingy, he's literally super glued to you

Personal space doesn't exist to him

Whether it's your personal space or his it doesn't matter

If you ever ever think about taking out your wallet when you're shopping, he'll give you the nastiest look ever like you killed his dog or something

Weekly flowers with sweet ass notes

If you're a reader, you bet your ass he'll buy you every book you'll ever want

He'll also build you a library in the house

His wallpaper/lockscreen is absolutely you

Wants to do everything with you, that includes eating, sleeping, working out etc...

No matter what you're going through, this man is so understanding it's crazy

You're this man's entire focus 24/7, no one matters more than you

Heavy on eye contact, will know what's hiding in your soul cause of his intense ass eye contact

Will throw a bitch fit if you ever say you're ugly or fat etc...

Negative self talk is a big no fir him he will never allow anyone to disrespect his woman like that

[pro-logue-epi-logue]

RANDOM DEVIL'S NIGHT THOUGHTS

~NUMBER 45~

Things that were not in NIGHTFALL but should have been

(There might be some ranting soo bear with it, you may or may not agree with them) ->

1. Emory and winter not even sharing one single sentence.

Are you telling me two bestest of buddies Damon and Will are married but their significant others did not even share 1 single sentence. NOTHING. ZERO. NADA. Yaaa right.

I am suppose to believe it?

But yeah sure Rika was always there. ALWAYS?? Why just why? Just once let banks and winter talk.

2. Two of the most awesome characters of the entire devil's night EMORY SOFIA SCOTT and NIVOKA SARAH BANKS are not best friends???

Let us all not live in a delusional and finally accept the fact that EMORY and BANKS are best buddies.

Like imagine the sarcasm, sass and obviously how they both are now going to humble the Horsemen and everyone else.

They LITERALLY have sooooo many topics to talk about.

They both definitely meet 2 or 3 times a week just these two and chat and be as awesome and cool as they are.

But yes we didn't got this either. I was soo excited when the two best girls em and banks were supposed to meet but did we got it no. Apparently alex was important. * insert eye roll* ( everyone have the same thoughts here lets not lie)

3. Will not explaining his tattoos

William aaron payne grayson III has been obsessed OBSESSED with Emory Scott, we all know that, its no secret.

It was mentioned in corrupt that he got tattoos while he was in jail, WHEN he didn't knew about what em and martin did. WHEN he was hopelessly in love with her.

So i don't believe that 90% of his tattoos are not related to her one way or other. NOPE JUST NOPE.

So we all deserved a chapter when he told her the meaning of his tattoos and what they signifies after they were married.

4. Emory not getting her own wedding

Emory has the most painful life, she was not at all happy when she was in high school. And after she went to Berkeley when her gazebo burned she didn't let herself be happy.

So just once ONCE in her life can this girl get something for her just for her only.

Don't get me wrong the wedding was cute( it wasn't).

But EMORY deserved a day just for her and will that she shouldn't share with anyone else.

After everything she went through all the pain and hardship, and all the things will and emmy together as a couple went through they deserved a day for just them.

5. Emory Scott smiling in the present chapters

In the entire present timeline all we got was will and emmy fighting, I just wanted 1 chapter just her smiling and finally being happy after all the things. It doesn't matter how, she can be alone with micah or rory or even will. Just her happy and smiling.

And i really think this and tattoo excerpt should have been there instead of AA.

6. More time between MICAH , RORY and EM

In the short time em was in blackchurch only micah was nice to her and rory was well him. But the scenes when Micah and Em dances together and when these two cuties stood up for her when the entire Horsemen clan was treating Emory so bad so so bad these 3 have my heart. They are the brothers she deserves.

I even like how she described them during the wedding.

So yes they should have had 1 or 2 more scenes together for example when they all went shopping after the engagement.

7. Emory's Backstory

There was a 9 years gap, 9 YEARS. So much can happen in that time. But we don't know anything, literally anything about her during that time. I genuinely wanted to know how she coped with the break up with the love of her life WILL, how did she survive in that 1 year when he was not there, how was her college life, how was her graduation, her ex-boyfriend ( she must have dated someone right),how is her job. Anything would have worked but no did we got anything, no we didn't. But what did we got, repeated reminder of will and alex( i get it they were together but why throw it in her face when she was already soo insecure). This novel should have focused on those years when will and emmy were apart and how her life was in California instead on ALEX( I said what i said she got way too much page space in a book that wasn't even hers ).

8. Will's reaction to when em told him about the coffee can and Damon's mom

I really wanted to know how will would react when he find out that emmy saved all these things and how they meant the world to her. And specifically how ther were just under the gazebo he burnt.😅. Just there away from him. Its a short distance.

I also wanted to knew what exactly happened that devil's night and did he or did he not put damon down. Did he freak out?

9. Way less of Alex and Aydin

It was a book of WILL GRAYSON and EMORY SCOTT then why was i reading about another couple who didn't even matter.

I am still bitter about how badly alex treated emory and how rude she was to her without knowing anything. And how both AA had more page space in present timeline than will and em themselves.

Because we all know how AMAZING, AWESOME and SUPERB past will and emory were they were everything, they were chef's kiss. So imagine how awesome they would have been if AA weren't there because now they both confessed their feelings and their is no martin( we were robbed big time).

10. Will's and emory's accomplishments

It wasn't mentioned but i know, i just know that will grayson was homecoming king and emory scott was the valedictorian and she even passed college with achievements.

This girl spent every minute of her wake hours for either school,gazebo or her grandma so yeah.

11. An apology

Emory deserved an apology from kai, Michael, ALEX and will also because they all every single one of them treated her as if she wasn't even a human. And i hated what kai said to her. Alex was rude and wanted to hit her( an abuse victim seriously), Alex was mean and kind of bitchy for no reason at all. Will did her wrong as well but i dont want to elaborate on this.

Soo yeah SHE DESERVED AN APOLOGY.

12. Emory and Will talking

Inwas waiting for will and Emory to talk to each other specially about Emory's abuse and Will's trauma. These two suffered the most and only had each other and they only showed their true selves to them only and yet They didn't talk! But yes tell us Rika's wedding dress color and how is it relevant.

13. Emory's parents

Why does the only thing we know about Emmy's parents is how they died? We should know a little more about them, where is their grave, how were they with emmy, their sweet moments together, them celebrating Emmy's birthday, playing with her in the park.

14. Will's emotion on his arrest day

We got to see everyone's pov when they git arrest but not will. He is the most ignored PD male at this point.

[rooksblvd]

that's it. this is WAR. cause the way im so ready to throw hands right now omg. just finished the chapter. what the point of making alex and emory fuck was, is beyond me. seriously. what the hell. i was happy reading them go back and forth at each other with reprimands and justifications and everything. but then the trains skids to a stop. they fall. and now they wanna fuck? im sorry but is this a fucking joke.

[darkreaderdan]

i find it so crazy seeing emmy stans hate on alex and it be for no reason. yes so what if she fucked will, emmy ate her out right after too. yes hitting emmy was wrong i agree but y’all make it seem like emmy is nothing but an abuse victim😒 keep in mind y’all the same ones quick to suck off will who said he was gonna sa rika’s mom. Bffr.

One thing for sure alex zoe palmer will and has always been that bitch. had everyone ready to get on their knees for her. My good sis will always be famous. 🤭🤭

[vicc000]

Will on Emory & Alex

Alex was always easy to disappear into. I didn’t have to talk or put up a front. I didn’t have to seduce her or pretend. She was my port in the storm and I was hers. She was the only person that I’ve ever felt completely safe. The only person I never fear disappointing because the only thing she expected of me was to be there. Why couldn’t I love her? She got along with my friends. She made me laugh, and her presence was always a comfort. Always. She fit in my life. Watching her, I balled my fist, almost convinced I should do it. I should go and lift her into my arms and take her to bed and sync inside of her and…

I shook my head, sighing.

I couldn’t.

Because every time I close my eyes, I saw the girl who made me want to be better. More. I saw Emmy Scott. Alex was like Damon. They loved me. They indulge my dark side. They were too forgiving into enabling.

They kept me from being lonely, but Emory taught me that not everything I wanted was going to come easy. That there were things I was going to have to fight for and there was pain in the world that my shallow lifestyle in high school kept me ignorant of. She made me feel like a man.

Even though her words were sharp and the battle she constantly fought in her heart, felt like a knife in my own. Her eyes on me made me feel strong. Her arms around me made me want to take on anything. When I close my eyes, I saw a girl with glasses too big for her face, and I heard the sweetest, most timid voice asking me if I still wanted to hold her. I could still feel her cradled in my arms.

————————————————————————

Both Emmy and Alex looking so beautiful that I swore I felt myself back in my old room in my parent’s house, nestled in my damn bed as the morning light heated the sheets. Alex’s chin rested on Emmy’s shoulder, and she slid her fingers around her naked waist, caressing her.

[kitjosten13]

There’s something particularly foul and sick about the devils night series being marketed as a Dark Romance about each MMC when it’s really the “Damon has abandonment issues and was SA’d repeatedly as a child so he uses that humor and jokes as a way to cope and scare people and because of said abandonment issues Damon wants revenge on his friends because he feels the only FAMILY HE EVER HAD ABANDONED HIM FOR THEIR GIRLS AND ONE OF THOSE GIRLS BEING HIS SISTER AND NOW HES OUT FOUND FAMILY AND A SISTER ALSO HIS NOT BOYFRIEND WHO IS TOTALLY HIS BOYFRIEND IS HUNG UP OVER SOME GIRL THAT ABUSES HIM ALSO THE OTHER GIRL THAT I LOVINGLY REFER TO AS THEIR TOLEN PROSTIUTE IS ALSO WITH SOMEONE WHO ABUSES HER AND POOR FUCKING DAMON JUST IS FUCKED JP AND DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COPE” Series

[away-ward]

Where'd You Go

Summary: Alex learns Will has a somone. Alex POV. Set sometime between Corrupt and Hideaway.

Alex

“Whoa,” I panted, falling back. My head landed somewhere among the mountain of pillows and sheets that Will and I rucked up. My limbs…well, I waited to hear back from them. “That was…” I trailed off, still trying to catch my breath while processing what just happened.

I turned to look for Will and located him at the opposite end of my bed. I smiled and laughed when I saw he’s just as out of breath as I was. I always gave as good as I got, if not better. Usually, Will and I matched energies, but this time was something else.

He was something else.

Finally, sensation started coming back and I could control my tongue again. “I feel like I should be paying you.” It’s a joke, but only partly. It could be exhausting to be everything to everyone all the time, so it’s an rare pleasure to have someone treat me once in a while.

Will laughed, a weak two snickers sort of thing, without his natural jubilance. It pulled on the sense I hadn’t paid attention to before. Something was off with him. I ran through everything happened since we met up hours ago.

He was fine earlier, in Michael’s penthouse. Joking and laughing, being the life of the party; never ready for the night to end. When it did start to die down and people started leaving, I dragged him back to my place to keep him happy. He needed me, and honestly after the week I had, I needed him. In the bedroom, we were laughing, tripping and pulling on each other. It was always easy with Will because I never had to pretend to be anything. He didn’t want me to be anyone other than me.

I tried once and I failed miserably. He made me swear never to try again. To this day, he’s only person I wasn’t able to pull under.

It was our usual course for the night, so what changed?

I pushed him on the bed, eager to show him one the outfit I wore for a client this week. I liked showing him what I put together. He always put on this posh accent and critiqued it like he’s a fashion designer. It’s hilarious and fun and had become one of my favorite past times.

He didn’t do that this time, did he? I missed it then, but as I replayed it now, he didn’t even notice the clothes. As soon as I opened my double closet doors, his eyes found purchase my face before they glazed over and he whispered, “Come here.”

And I went, without even thinking of it.

I looked at Will again. His eyes were closed, head resting against the polished mahogany headboard. He looked tense and not at all like someone who’d just rocked my world. Gathering my arms and legs together, I crawled across the mattress and climbed on top of him, straddling his thighs. He opened his eyes and I couldn’t believe how weary they looked, despite the smile he gave me.

I cupped his cheek. “Sad boy,” I mumbled, wanting to comfort him but not knowing what was wrong.

“With you? Never.” His hands came to rest on my thighs where he rubbed circles with is thumbs. Distracting himself. He kissed the palm of my hand. “Thank you as always.”

“I should be thanking you. That was amazing.”

Will shrugged, feigning modesty. “Well, shucks. You don’t have blow hot air up my ass to make me happy. Just – “

I slapped his bare chest. “You’re ego’s already as big as your dick. It doesn’t need my help.”

“True that,” he replied merrily. “But it doesn’t hurt either.”

I waited, hoping that was a sign Will was returning to normal. But despite his smile and jokes, I still got the sense something was wrong. It wasn’t the smile he used with me, but that fake one he used with everyone else.

“Where’d you go?”

He hummed his question, guarded eyes searching my face. He thought I couldn’t tell when he he’s playing dumb. We were too close for that, now. Maybe Michael and Kai didn’t notice, and even on occasion Rika, but they’re blind to his depth. Not me.

“You went somewhere and then gave me some of the best sex I had in years, which is saying something," I pointed out. Smiling wickedly, using all my skills and experience, I massaged his tense neck to relax him enough to talk. “Where did you go? Because you weren’t here with me.”

His brow furrowed and he pulled my hands off of him.

He pulled. My hands. Off.

“Nowhere,” he said, dodging my gaze.

“You expect me to believe that?”

He shook his head, scoffing. “Believe what you want.” Gently, he pushed me so that I was back on the bed as he stood. Everything about his behavior was so not Will, I was dumbstruck for words. It’s like I didn’t even know him.

It’s like he was one of my clients.

Puzzled, I studied him further, shuffling through his behavior before, during, and after. “Was it the outfit?” I wondered aloud, mostly to myself. It was the only difference last night, but he’d never had that kind of reaction before.

Will’s back was still facing me as he walked around, looking for his discarded clothes. At my words, his shoulders stiffened. Then his back expanded with a deep breath and he carried on.

I could work with his wordless communication. Half my job was noticing the things people don’t say, noting their reactions to the different buttons I pushed. If Will wanted to act like a client, then he’d get treated like one.

“No, not the outfit,” I continued. I watched for the subtle changes in his demeanor that he wouldn’t even be aware of.

His head turned slightly toward the corner of the room and I followed. Nothing over there except the dresser, some décor, a table and a lamp. A few articles of clothing got tossed in that direction, but nothing stuck out.

I pushed harder as Will redressed. “My client has a thing for secretaries. That’s why the skirt and blouse.” True, it was more tame than normal attire but I never judged. People want what they want, after all.

“And the glasses.” Will said, his voice carrying an unusual rasp.

Suddenly, pieces clicked in to place, and I get a bit more of the puzzle that is Will.

“Ah,” I laughed. “I get it now.”

“You do?” He turned around and smirked, pretending to be clueless. “Get what?”

“Whoever it is you went to tonight,” I answered. “She’s you’re first, huh?”

He laughed bitterly. “Hardly.”

I shake my head, rolling my eyes. I would doubt he’d even remember that name. “I don’t mean first like that. I meant you’re first heartbreak.”

He still tried to pull out that fake-ass smile, but he lost when his eyes lowered from mine. “Who says I’ve ever had my heart broken?”

I sat up straighter. “Will, don’t lie to me. You promised.” I smiled knowingly at him, because I had his number. “Besides, like recognizes like, right?”

He sat in one of the side chairs in my room, looking at me, and I try to let all the things I always hold back show. It’s hard being vulnerable. And thinking about him? Ugh, gag me. But for Will? Maybe I could. He already knew there was someone. I’d mentioned it off handily before, because if I could be casual about it, it didn’t matter. Maybe somewhere deep inside, I always knew he had a someone too.

“So,” I began, “tell me about Glasses.”

He shook his head again. “She’s nobody. Not even worth the breath would take to say her name.”

“And yet you won’t.”

He pinned me with a pointed stare, but doesn’t respond.

“Look, the only thing I’ve seen take your smile away is also the only other thing you won’t talk about.” The answer remains unspoken between us: the lost years.

Prison.

“You’re point?”

“If thinking about her hurts as much as thinking about that, then she’s not nothing and you’re not over it.”

When his eyes shifted, I almost regretted pushing him. His bright greens shimmered with unshed tears, the surrounding area growing red and flushed. I’d only seen him like this a handful of times, and most of those related to him almost dying and losing his best friend.

Whoever this girl was, she did a number on him.

I scrambled from the bed and over to him, falling into his lap and wrapping my arms around his head. I leaned over him, my hands weaving in his hair as I held his head to my naked chest. His arms came around me and anchoring me to him. He didn’t cry, but I felt his shuddering, labored breathing as he worked regained control, shoving it all back down.

When I was sure he’d had a handle on it, I leaned back and looked down at him. I smoothed back his brown hair so I could see his eyes. All that remained was a light reddish hue around the whites, which anyone could mistake for him coming down from something. Nobody would ever know.

I leaned down and press my lips to his. Taking his upper lip between mine, I held it there with light pressure, apologizing. After a brief moment, he forgave me, licking and sucking hard on my bottom lip. We breathed in each other, comforting each other, falling back into our natural rhythm.

“Sun’s up,” I said after we paused for a while. “How about breakfast. Your treat.”

It was always his treat.

He nodded, smiling big. “Sounds good. Feel like I haven’t eaten in days.” He lightly slapped my exposed thigh and I stand from his lap. I laughed; he’s always hungry for something.

“I’ll meet you downstairs,” I said over my shoulder as I walked into my en suite bathroom. “Try to stay out of trouble.”

“Don’t leave me alone too long,” he joked backed. “Trouble’s always just around the corner.”

The alarm system beeps as the front door opened and closed. Never thought I need an alarm system in Delcour, but that was before I’d fallen in with my new friends. I had a quick shower and did my morning skin care before dressing in jeans and a tee. On my way out, I spied the black rimmed glasses laying upside down on my bedside table. I flashed back to Will lifting them from my nose and setting them down there.

He did it with such carefulness that I was filled with the thorough, deep comprehension of how much he loved that girl.

How much he still loved her, despite what he said.

I wanted to be angry at her on his behalf. Anyone who could find it in themselves to hurt Will wasn’t someone I needed to feel compassion for. Still, in my experience, things were rarely one-sided. And Will had plenty of people who could be mad for him; vengeful for him. He needed someone who would try to understand without simply placating him.

I loved Will enough to be that person.

But I also felt enough of his pain to never touch those glasses again. I picked them up from the table and snapped the rims, tossing them in the trash.

--

Thank you for reading!

I was thinking about how when Emory met Alex, Alex had seen a picture of her and said that Will called her 'sassy' or something like that. So eventually, Will confides in her, but I don't think he'd do it all at once.

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