Tumgik
#and now i cant feel my thumbs
Text
i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
24 notes · View notes
goobygnarp · 6 months
Text
.
#good grief im gettin a lil tired of seeing 'DONT DO THIS' kinda art videos#i very much understand its a youtube thing and that clickbait names and thumbs get the views and attention needed#but it doesnt mean it doesnt annoy me or that I cant be annoyed by it#sometimes i just see it in tutorial pictures too#but the large DONTS with red Xs near the supposed ''wrong'' way of drawing is so demotivating#people start and draw in many ways than one#its what makes art their own#but when videos or tutorial posts are made and show the ''WRONG'' way to go about it#its like scolding the new artist or long time artist with that style that they're doing it wrong and that its bad#no matter the intention its not the way to go about helping artists learn to draw#and in my personal opinion#the click bait ''DONT DO THIS WHEN DRAWING'' thing is what keeps me from actually watching the vids#i get theyre probably helpful but i don't like that I have to feel some NEED or DESIRE to click on a vid cause I feel like I did a thing#wrong or that i never should have done it at all#i wish i could see more 'here are some tips that helped me#kinda vids cause yes i would love to learn what helped you rather than being or feeling wronged for drawing in a way that isn't theirs#im rambling but i have been seeing a lot of 'DONT DO THIS' NEVER DO THIS' 'IF YOURE DOING THIS STOP NOW' kinda art vids#im speakin for myself here#but im an artist sifting through art youtube or spaces always willing to learn new ways of improving my art#i dont need to feel click baited like the next 3am don't this kid to learn how to improve my inking skills#if it was more a 'this is my personal preference and I wanna share it with my audience and maybe teach some things' kinda vid#id watch that too#but im just so tired of seeing art youtube going down this need to tell folks 'YOURE DOING IT ALL WRONG. THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY"
34 notes · View notes
ganondoodle · 1 year
Text
i feel like my validation fueled drive to draw is running low so even tho i kinda want to draw non fanart or game dev stuff i cant get myself to do it bc i know it wont get much attention
68 notes · View notes
grimalkinmessor · 9 months
Text
Separated At Birth AU Anon got me thinkin' thoughts....
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Like melancholic yet spiteful "exotic dancer" Yoichi and his newest client, who seems to have recognized him on sight despite Yoichi having never met him before....
34 notes · View notes
orcelito · 8 months
Text
Opening the local bubble tea store absolutely livid and shaking in rage and upset bc my bitch ass boss is too concerned about us sitting on the job to order the tea bags I requested Two Fucking Weeks Ago (it only takes like 4 or 5 days to ship) and so we're out and I had to hand wash the 1 reusable bag to make black tea and I have to strain the free floating tea leaves from the cold brew and I just KNOWWWW he's going to have something more to bitch about because he always does
Last straw on the camel's back, etc etc, I want to put in my two weeks notice by the end of this week. That's a goal for myself.
#speculation nation#i currently dont have a job lined up but im going to start applying Today#because i cant take this anymore. i cant fucking take this anymore.#i feel like im about to shatter from the strain of hos chokehold#8 years total under his thumb and for What? he doesnt appreciate me. he doesnt value me.#he's an asshole this place sucks and it makes me so sad because i really do care about the people here#but i cant. i cant fucking do it anymore.#im really glad im alone on shift rn bc ha ha ha. ill put up the mask for customers but i am#genuinely shaking rn. im so upset.#this being after he complained Again about people sitting on the job during the meeting last night like#shut UPPPP I DONT CAAAARE#YOU TRY WORKING WITH CHRONIC PAIN AND FATIGUE AND A JOB THAT DOESNT GIVE GENUINE BREAKS#'oh if you need to take a break then do it but just dont sit down on the job“#WHEN DO YOU THINK I COULD TAKE MY BREAK? IM WORKING ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!+#and when im.not working alone im working with trainees so i still cant leave the store unattended#im sick of him.im so sick of him and im THIIIIIIIIIS close to just breaking down here and now#i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM#negative/#sorry for the vent i just feel like.im about to blow up and everyone's busy so ic cant. vent properly#im not even done opening bc im too busy freaking out and pacing and being angry#and hes gonna watch me sitting here thru the cameras and be like Ho Hum Look at you immediately doing what i said not to#like fucking STOP!!!! WATCHING US!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING CREEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#IM SO SICK OF HIM WATCHING US THROUGH THE CAMERAS. HE HAS NO TRUST IN ME DOING MY JOB#0 value for me as a person or employee 0 value for my to this day dedication to this company#i want to send my heel through those front windows. watch them shatter. wreck the whole place#because fuck this place and fuck him#i wontttt bc i dont wanna go to jail lol but the temptation is there. i fucking hate his guts.#im going to put in my 2 weeks by the end of this week. im going to start applying to places Today. just fucking watch me.
10 notes · View notes
hella1975 · 8 months
Note
Hi hella!!!
I feel like i always start these off or end them by saying that these things are going to be incomprehensible in some way, mainly bc i have trouble translating whats going on in my mind into written words so i really dont know how much of my list thingies make sense to you but this one is especially probably going to not make much sense. (also bc i send them a lot when im either very tired or not sober, but i am sober and wide awake rn so this might be a different kind of incomprehensible)
I found one of my old drafts for an ask from around a year ago and it was a follow up response to the last chapter you posted at the time, so im not sure how its going to sound without the context of that specific chapter, but i also mentioned in one of my other asks that i add stuff in last minute and that ask i added a shit ton of stuff so i dont have any of that pretyped out so im going by memory.  But im sending it again bc i havent seen you answer it 
(please do not interpret this as ‘why didnt you answer my ask >:/’ or me rushing you to answer asks or anything like that, but like I said its been a year so im assuming tumblr ate it.  If not and you just havent cleaned out your ask box and you find the original, congratulations you’ll know what i originally said.  Bc idk how accurate this will be)
SO
Theres two different ways that you seem to write metaphors (idk if thats what theyre called im not caught up on my literary terminology)
 (im scrolling through your blog rn looking for my other asks and tumblr really did you dirty in your asks system like i started scrolling and the third one down was from 2021 and im fighting for my life trying to find my tag (thank you for my tag btw its very useful to me))
Anywho, most of your metaphors ( to me) can be split into two categories.  Theres the simple ones and the complex ones.  Now this might seem obvious but im going to explain to you how these have different effects on my brain.  
An example of the ‘simple’ ones is  
““If Nanook’s tone had a note of seriousness, then Zuko’s was the entire orchestra.”” (idk what chapter this is from its been a while)
You have a lot of these kinds of whatever the haick kind of literary technique this is (is this a metaphor i’ve been trying to google it for like ½ an hour and i cant figure it out) BUT these type of things that are simple and easy to process is one of my favorite things about the way you write.  I think this is a very common technique but the way you do it to me is just a lot more unique than the ways ive seen it done before.  Its extremely fluent with the voice of the characters and brings a perfect kind of vibe to the ‘conversation’ (or story, text, whatever) and it paints the picture of what your trying to say perfectly.  I also really like how these types of things arent ever in Zukos pov a lot (sometimes it is, but not nearly as much, I’ve noticed) and its not in the more serious like revelations that you drop these in.  Like I said, it adds to the voice of the characters, bc of the contrast of Zuko constantly having revelations and dramatic archs and stuff, and the other characters just in general being a lot more calm.  Its like when youre listening to a song and you have the lyrics and the like ‘main’ music behind the lyrics, but then when you listen to the song a lot you notice the smaller, like backup music that adds a lot to the song and makes it a lot more enjoyable than if it was just the lyrics and the louder more up front music.  
Then in contrast you have the bigger ‘metaphors’ 
An example of this is ‘You curse in words already invented’ 
THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE FIC.  
OF ANY FIC OR BOOK EVER READ
AND THIS IS WHY
When I tell you I could not figure out what this meant for months I am AWFUL with stuff like this and interpreting it my english teachers hate me bc of it.  Id have the question ‘why were the curtains blue’ and my answer would be ‘bc the people who decorated the room like blue maybe theyre interior designers and it goes with the room 😊 and thats so hot of them bc i love blue too’  
But even thought i couldnt figure it out it stayed in my head and i probably thought about it once a day (i mean this literally, i think about that part all the time) and i cant remember the context for that or anything but i do remember that i knew it was a wonderful phrase.  
I’ve mentioned in my other asks how whenever im reading anything at all that you’ve written (whether its tams, or toab, or in the tags of something even if its like 10 words), everything you type comes out so fluidly like a formula or a color wheel or however i put it last time i talked about this.  And this is on the prodigious end of the spectrum of this.  
But phrases like that are another part of the fic, theyre like the lyrics of the song.  Like the phrases that gets all the attention and gets put in fanart and that gets quoted in comment sections because they deserve that recognition and you deserve that recognition and are just a reminder of how incredibly talented you are.  
I mean that in the most sincere way that i know how to express.  
I am constantly in awe of you and your writing style, and i really do think of you as one of the most talented writers of everything ive ever read.  
And something else worth mentioning is that it isnt just your ao3 that portrays that.  Like if I were to just read your ao3 I’d be like ‘oh wow this person is an amazing writer’ But your tumblr persona plays into it a lot more (In my opinion).  Because then you see like more ‘backround’ stuff on ao3.  And more of your system (im not articulating this in the way i mean it very well) and you get privy to the fact that you’re not a 30 year old with a masters in english and that you’ve never had any formal education on writing.  I vaguely remember you talking about a story about a sailor (??? i might be misremembering that) that you wrote when you were a child and thinking ‘oh wow so she’s always been like that’.  And its stuff like that that you dont get on ao3 that kind of reaffirms how incredible of a writer you are.  
And this (to me) makes you a really easy person to admire.  (ik i touched on this in a different ask but i dont remember if it was one of my list asks or not) but as someone who probably isnt going to ever be able to get an education around writing, it kind of reassures me that i dont need that to be great at it.  
(i kind of feel like a lot of the stuff in this ask is too like ‘simple’ or obvious to be given a lot of weight, but this whole thing is about the kinds of things you do that brings me personally joy and the metaphors are one of them so)
Also on an off note when i was looking through your asks to try to find my tag, I noticed that i send you a heavy percentage of your anonymous asks (mainly without my alias) and I thought that was funny.  But also i hope it doesnt come across as obsessive or weird, I swear i do that to a lot of people on here, I’m just a very social person.  .😂
Also Im in your tbos server (lurking in the shadows) and someone pointed out that whenever you do the reaction emojis you always do the white ones, and thats going on the official ‘my favorite things about hella’ list because that was genuinely one of the funniest things ive seen. 
Also the ‘anytime you type its very fluid (im too lazy to scroll up and see how i put it rn) also carrys on to discord.  I think that i could probably block out the user names and be able to figure out that its you talking every time, you have a very distinct way of talking.  
Also i wanted to mention that every time you answer these i read them again and i want to say like 1/3 of what i sasy, i have no recollection of. And i never have any idea what im talking about. so i think thats funny.
LIST ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN BAWLING MY EYES OUT HELLO BABY WELCOME BACK FROM WAR IVE MISSED YOU IM JUST HERE LIKE THIS RN
Tumblr media
10 notes · View notes
nabaath-areng · 11 months
Text
Fuck Sweden as a nation for turning the woobification of our history and culture into one of our greatest exports, pretending to be wholesome and peaceful while profiting from conflicts elsewhere. For never having the fucking spine to take any stance ever and acting high and mighty for being "neutral", all while frothing at the mouth to get a piece of that colonial cake from the cool kids table where the superpowers are seated. For recognizing Palestine's sovereignty only to then consider a withdrawal of said recognition in response to the current genocide. For allowing islamophobia to get to the point it is now and then pointing fingers at jews as a whole. For giving less of a flying fuck about swedish jews during WW2 and until now, yet patting ourselves on the back and taking credit for heroic deeds done primarily by individuals.
I wish nothing but absolute hell and misery for Ulf Kristersson, who is even more spineless about his inaction than I thought possible. Who had nothing to say about the burnings of the torah and quran, only to claim that he stands for fighting antisemitism. Who puffed up his chest and was acting so tough about the things he would do once he became prime minister, only to hold up on none of his lofty promises in true conservative fashion. Both he and his lackeys (as well as their fanclubs of raging screaming bigots) deserve nothing but hurt and hell for continuing to destroy the lives of all marginalized groups in Sweden, all while shamelessly increasing their own salaries blatantly in the open, to then have the sheer and utter gut to declare that actively supporting genocide is within our best interests.
This country's audacity is one that only became possible because we sacrificed our neighbours safety for the sake of maintaining our own, because when your most recent war was in 1809 it's apparently not possible to even try and comprehend the horrors of modern warfare. That is, besides producing the tools for it to happen elsewhere.
14 notes · View notes
konan-supernova · 11 months
Text
"are you okay" i just got two and a half hours into an eight hour video on the full fnaf timeline while speedrunning an art project for a writing class. what do you think.
5 notes · View notes
shararan · 11 months
Text
Good news: got some writing done
Bad news: eyes started stinging and tear up from nowhere
Good news: had eyedrops
Bad news: it was not the type of eye problem helped by eyedrops but instead made worse
Good news: realizes got the tips to try allergy meds next time it happens and i had some on hand
(???) news: it fucking worked and now i have to seriously consider doing that allergy trial ive pretended isnt necessary
4 notes · View notes
coridallasmultipass · 9 months
Text
.
#gOD FUCKING DAMN IT I HAVE 2 MINUTES I SPEND PICKING THE SKIN ON MY THUMB BC I THOUGHT IT..#..WAS HEALED BUT ITS NOT NOW I HAVE A BLOODY THUMB AND I STILL GOTTA DO A WATER CHANGE HNGHHH#that immunosuppressed life got me stressed#i dont want to put my hands in fishy water when its got a cut on it hhhhnn#my dermatillomania has been off the charts recently and its stressin me out#god i just want to rip that piece of skin all the way off but its not gonna help the sitch and itll need a bandaid#i can feel it in my 5th rib sayin 'dig into ur skin foolish mortal'#my brain is like rejecting my body i need a new one#mental illness#ocd#dermatillomania#hhhhhh lemme be mentally ill for a sec#just thinkin about that rush of adrenaline when the dig goes too deep or the ripping pulls skin from too deep#hhhhhh i could nut to that feeling#need to dig and peel and rip and tear and i cant stop thinking about it#ok fuck reading this book i gotta go take a few hits and desl with the fish#maybe thatll get my mind off it and ill blast some music and maybe draw something#i can finish the book in the morning#i already went nuts on my lip earlier today because it was chapping where i bit off a chunk and i had to even it out#i fucking hate being like this but im actually doing pretty well mental health wise#or maybe im just telling myself that idk any more#but ive always had skin picking problems even before actual mental illness kicked in so maybe its just who i am#again my brain is rejecting the body id like to request a fully cyborg body pls
2 notes · View notes
hearties-circus · 1 year
Text
I kinda feel like I've just hard erased any happiness or elation I had from being done with school all just so I wouldnt get asked a stupid question anymore I hate this I hate this
#gamer txt.#not once have i actually fucking wanted to go to college this was just the only way to make ppl stop asking me about jobs#but im realising now that was a stupid decision and i hate that i made it i hate tgat i had the chance to back out and didnt#the only thing that made school worth it before was my friends that was the only time id get to see them#now im going back to school completely without them like a fucking idiot#i know college is different from highschool i get that and i do want to learn fab weld but fuck me this was dumb#i know damn well im not going to make any new friends during this course im more terrified of people than ive ever been#and i stick out from my class like a sore thumb#whats worse is my nervousness from this has started fucking with my appetite and hunger and that is the worst possible thing it could do#that is like the number one way to break me#im already in such a vulnerable state i do not need constant fucking reminders of trauma i cant fucking escape#and im meant to just be normal and be a person and go to class on monday?#im this close 👌 to just dogging it. im pretty sure ill be getting the train in like i could full well just fuck off and leave#its not like they have my mums number she wouldnt know any different from what i told her#can i not just stay in the purgatory of being a teen old enough to be done with school but young enough to not have a job forever ?#please? im not ready for this im not i couldnt be less ready for this why did i let myself succumb to this pressure? i hate it#g-d i havent cried in. months now. this feels so. this is too much this is way too much fot me i cant do this#i dont know how i thought i could when the hell have i ever been able to do something like this on my own#theres nothing to me on my own i dont have any confidence i dont have any strength i need my friends for that and i dont have them
6 notes · View notes
caruliaa · 2 years
Text
will prob not start reading either for a while regardless el oh el but i have both six of crows and pride and prejudice so if anyone is reading this tell me which on u think i shld read first 👍🏽
11 notes · View notes
scattered-winter · 1 year
Text
wanted to write something today (i have an ESSAY DUE TODAY and i have WIPS) but instead im thinking abt my mom. lol
#there was a fucking cyberattack on the hospital that she gets her cancer treatments from and their systems have been down for WEEKS#and she's been delayed in getting treatments because of it and ykw. its advancing at a terrifying rate so its not like she has the time#to just sit around and twiddle her thumbs waiting for the problems to be resolved#and im lowkey !!! fuckin terrified !!!!#like. she has her meds NOW and i think we've fairly moved past it for the most part. but idk.#how much time did that really give her??? another month??? or two?? or three????#she's been a ticking time bomb for 3 years now and i think she's almost out of time#i cant explain how i know. i just do#she's always in pain. i cant be around her because she's constantly in so much pain and i dont know what to do to help#and its just a reminder that she's only getting worse.#and i feel horrible for isolating myself from her because she doesnt have long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know im gonna regret it later!!!!#but ive never been good at seeing ppl in pain. or knowing what to do about it.#and every new scan she has just shows more tumors and more growth and more red flags#and idk. im tired.#im tired of being scared. im tired of the fucking sword hanging over our heads. im tired of grieving my mother while she's still alive#and im tired of treating her like a ghost when she ISNT yet but i dont know what else to do because everything fucking hurts.#and all my complicated feelings about my mom aside. all the ways we've hurt each other#and the ways she's made me feel small and unimportant and Different and stupid and crazy and foolish#she's my MOM. she's my mom#and all i can think about with all this is my youngest brother.#he doesnt remember mom when she was healthy. the only mom he knows is exhausted and in pain and dying#and she won't even see him graduate high school and he'll never know what she was like before all of this#i almost wish the cancer would just take her so i could finally be able to grieve and let go#instead of this limbo ive been in for three fucking years of hope and Knowing what will happen and grief and anger#and ngl i feel like a horrible fucking person for that. lol#y'all dont need to read this i just gotta scream for a sec#winter speaks#personal#tw death#tw cancer
5 notes · View notes
frootloopscereal · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
what if life was kind. what then.
3 notes · View notes
crave-mp3 · 2 years
Text
.
#my mom keeps talking about how much she's going to miss me when i go to college and how im never at home any more bc im out w my friends#and im like. actually i cant wait to not live in a house where i have no privacy and i dont have to deal with you being drunk every other#night!! im so fucking tired of living under your surveillance and under your thumb!!!! being isolated and shut up in the house for pretty#much my entire childhood was actually a terrible thing and i wish id just been allowed to go to a normal school and do normal things and be#a normal person!!! with independence and agency and close relationships!! i didnt choose for you to homeschool me and its fucking me up in#ways im only beginning to realize! and im out all the time now bc i actually have friends now. i have people who care about me and like me#and i can confide in. and most importantly anything they know about me they know because i CHOSE to share it with them.#and she keeps joking about folllowing me to college and im like jesus christ there is quite literally nothing id hate more.#and last night she came into my room and talked at me for like half an hour and while she was saying how much how much shed miss me#she had her arm on my chest and i was so goddamn uncomfortable and i couldnt tell her to stop touching me bc she kept talking about how#she loved me but like. has she ever once respected me enough not to touch me when i dont want it. i feel kind of sick right now just#thinking about it bc she NEVER STOPS TOUCHING ME#'violation' might be too strong of a word to apply here but it feels pretty damn close.#like i cant stop thinking about/feeling her arm on my chest and her hands touching my face and i couldnt stop that feeling for hours after#im just so tired of her treating my body like something shes entitled to.#'you'll always be my little girl' no. im not a girl and im not little and i definitely dont belong to you.
3 notes · View notes
catboynutsack · 1 day
Text
man I'm so tired of how many people use weird trigger tags for something as simple as bugs. just write "#tw bugs" or just fucking "#bugs" not fucking "#6ugs tw //" because the fact that I have to add a new trigger tag to my already huge list is. Really fucking frustrating when everyone and their mom has a fuckin unique trigger tag for something so simple. Like thanks not only did you hurt the person you were trying to protect with your tiktok style self-censorship but your fucking nonsense trigger tag made it worse
And if for some reason you HAVE to use the really weird tags at least INCLUDE THE COMMON TAG AS WELL FOR THE LOVE OF GODDDDDD
0 notes