#and next semester will likely be worse so there’s that

[sturniololuvrer]

𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝙱𝚊𝚌𝚔…𝙱𝚎 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎 — 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚘 18+ 𝙼𝙳𝙽𝙸 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 (2/?)

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: shy!, virgin! Matt x fem! reader

𝙿𝚕𝚘𝚝: you and the triplets are practically best friends, you met them in LA, where you live. You and Matt unknowingly have feelings for each other, so when they go back to Boston for a whole month, you both realize how strong your feelings really are…

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: fluff, slight angst?, sounds of masturbation.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 1,379

𝚊/𝚗: This is the second part to this story! Part 1 can be found here! There should only be one more part to this depending on how I feel. I used the chapter as a bridge to work on my plot writing so bear with me! I’m sorry this took so long, these past few weeks have been crazy-half my house got redone, it was my birthday last week (saw ZAYN 😭), my semester started, and I have strep throat lmfao but part 3 should be out sooner! Thanks for the patience! xx

You’re still seated at the bar with your friend about 15 minutes later after your conversation with Matt as your phone vibrates once more in your purse. You pull it out, furrowing your eyebrows as you see that Matt sent you a voice message.

You excuse yourself and go into the bathroom where the music is less loud. You find an empty stall and sit on the toilet seat, placing an AirPod in your ear to listen to the message, assuming it’s gonna be him telling you about the Boston trip.

You were oh, so very wrong, almost dropping your phone into the toilet as Matt’s moans fill your ears. “What the fuck?!” You gasp out into the bathroom, utterly shocked and confused, but not making any moves to stop the audio from playing.

Your cheeks flush as you listen to his whines and groans and you feel like you might pass away as you hear him whimper your name. You gasp again, placing a hand over your mouth as you hear the obvious sound of him cumming, a string of curses following.

After you stare at the message for a few minutes, you start to think. Did he mean to send this?? Did he somehow figure out you liked him and sent it? Was it an accident? Your mind reels, sheer confusion and slight panic forming a pit in your stomach as he sends no message explaining his previous one.

Matt has been pacing his room for the past 30 minutes. He’s absolutely mortified and disgusted that he’d send you that video, but more so that you haven’t acknowledged that you heard what he’d sent, leaving him on read.

He’s way too humiliated to explain himself because it’s obvious, to him at least that he’d just admitted he has feelings for you. He feels like he may die from embarrassment at this point, practically on the verge of tears. After another hour passes and you haven’t replied to him, he decides to just go to bed.

A few days go by and neither of you have the courage to text the other. You still talk to Nick and Chris everyday but you don’t dare say a word about what had happened. Matt is getting antsy, wanting nothing more than to call you and explain himself, but the thought of you rejecting him, or worse, not wanting to be his friend anymore is too much for him. He decides to just wait out the last two weeks of their trip and talk to you when they get back.

As the fifth day of not speaking to each other rolls by, he can’t take it anymore. The longest you’ve gone without talking to each other since you’ve met has been like 12 hours and his overwhelming feelings for you are not helping.

In a dazed and desperate moment at 4 a.m., he buys a plane ticket back to LA for the next afternoon without telling you or his family why. When the time for his flight arrives, he packs his stuff back up and gives half-assed responses to his family’s questions and concerns. He tells them he’ll explain it to them soon and rushes out the door, practically diving into the Uber.

You’re sitting at home at around 10 p.m., reading a book in your bed. This is the first time you’re enjoying yourself since the debacle with Matt and it’s raining in LA, which is a rare and very welcome sight, to you at least. You’re humming softly as you read and listen to the downpour of the rain on your roof.

At one point, you hear a knock on your apartment door. You get confused as it’s too late for a package and it’s pouring rain. You hesitantly get out of bed, placing your book down on your nightstand and moving to the door.

You stand by it for a moment, waiting to see if there’s another knock as you’re slightly worried for your safety. After a few seconds, there’s a louder knock, making you jump slightly. You take a deep breath and slowly unlock the door and open it.

You yelp as you see a drenched Matt standing on your doorstep, looking at him in pure shock for a moment before tugging him inside the warmth of your house. “W- what the fuck are you doing here?! Don’t you have two more weeks in Boston??”

“I-I had to come back…needed to be here…” he pants out, his cheeks flushed red. You quickly grab him a towel, wrapping it around him. “What?? Why?” You ask, still shocked. He holds the towel around him gratefully, huffing softly. “The voice message I sent you…” he starts.

You blush softly as memories of his moans flood your mind, but you quickly shake them, mustering up a small, “oh…” He gulps, continuing his sentence, his cheeks getting darker and darker as he speaks, “I-I’m so fucking sorry…that was an accident and I didn’t mean to send it. I know it made you uncomfortable because you didn’t answer- obviously it made you uncomfortable I- I’m just so sorry I-“ He starts rambling.

You quickly stop him by placing a hand on top of his and leading him to sit down on your couch. “Hey, relax…” You think for a moment, finding the right words. “It didn’t make me uncomfortable, Matt…it just really confused me…”

He groans softly “I’m so sorry it was an accident…I dropped my phone on my chest and it- did that…” You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Wait hold on…how did that even happen? How did it move from a different app to our messages on its own and start the voice message?”

He somehow blushes even deeper, looking away. “I-I was already in our messages when I-um started…” You get even more confused until you remember the picture you’d sent him, your cheeks tinting pink. “O-oh…you were- to the picture I sent?” You ask, just being sure you’re on the same page.

“Y-yes…” he practically whimpers out in mortification. “I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to make things weird…we can just ignore this…pretend I don’t feel the way I do…” he begs, not wanting to lose what he has with you. You sigh softly, feeling guilty because the fact that you didn’t call him or say anything about the voice message was obviously making him feel crazy and ended up making him cut his family visit short.

“Shit…no we’re not gonna ignore this...” He’s somehow convinced himself you’re gonna tell him you never want to see him again. “W-what??” You decide to just blurt it out, not wanting to keep the secret any longer, especially since you’re sure he feels the same now, finishing your sentence. “…Because…I-i feel the same way…”

His eyes go wide and his mouth drops open in shock. For what feels like hours, but was only like a minute, you just look at each other, the only sound in the room being him dripping water onto your couch. You don’t say a word, desperate for him to just say something.

“A-are you serious…?” Is all he can get out in his state. You just nod softly, feeling like you’d rather go into a hole and never come out than speak right now. There’s another moment of silence before he speaks again. “How long?” Is all he says. Your cheeks turn red as you realize what he’s asking, speaking softly. “How long have I had feelings for you?” He nods.

You swallow, taking a deep breath for a moment before telling him. “Since the day we met I think…” He somehow gets even more shocked, unable to believe you’ve liked him just as long as he’d liked you. “Holy shit…me too…” It’s your turn to be shocked now, your eyes going wide. “W-what??” Is all you can muster. He decides to fuck it, spilling the secret he’s been holding for almost two years.

“Fuck, I’m in love with you…I have been for so long.” He practically whispers, his heart racing and his cheeks bright red. You do the only thing can think of in the moment, quickly moving closer on the couch, not caring how soaked he is, and pressing a kiss to his lips.

𝚊/𝚗: ugh I hate this I swear the next part will be better…I am SO sorry for the people that waited so long for this just for there to be nothing juicy, but I promise it’s coming! Thanks for the support and any feedback is appreciated or comments about anything at all are welcome! xx

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @mattscumslutt @courta13

[acityinagarden]

when you’re an only child and have a father who expects the world of you and nothing you ever do will be good enough and you thought it would end after college but you were naïve and now he’s asking you about grad school and you literally just want to walk around in a field for the rest of your life

[selfship-shenanigans]

I've been ill all week but I finally feel better today and my appetite is back at long last, so maybe now I can finally get on with some drawing 😭

[tchaikovskaya]

Thinking about all the times in life u see someone familiar without knowing it’s the last time ur ever going to see them

[ame-to-ame]

My friends are so nice to me??? I love them???

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

[disabled-queer-culture-is]

Hey @mod, doing ok?

It's been one heck of a year, anon. One heck of a year. New shark dropped tho, very excited about that

[orcelito]

Actually it was surreal as hell to look at my transcript today. I've got all but 3 classes done or in WIP. I'd have to Severely fuck up to fail any of my classes this semester, by this point. Which I don't think will happen. Honestly I might even get straight A's for the first time in college. Which would be cool!!!

So just three classes left. Just three. It's so wild. I'm pretty excited.

[seaofreverie]

So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday

[steviescrystals]

i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

[practically-an-x-man]

i've come to realize that my burnout is not that I'm burnt out on work/activities/etc. Bc even when I'm tired I'm still active in hobbies and creating things

I'm just tired of being taught. I'm tired of being graded and micromanaged and placed under the constant panopticon of instructors viewing my work. I want to be done with school. I want to do things just to do them.

[dragonji]

happy day-before-bday to me i just got a letter of debt in the mailllll🎉

[m4lexxx67]

I should be reading my book on organic chemistry because I have the exam in like a month and I haven't learned shit yet bc my professor fucking sucks. But why does the book have to be so... idk, it's not even really boring cause I do find it kinda interesting how different groups in molecules affect the reaction but like... the reality and act of having to actively try and learn all this, just SUCKS. I don't want to memorize all these stupid mechanisms and then when you adjust the temperature something totally different happens and I need to know that. Not even that, I need to be able to tell what reaction happens based on the reactants and like... I wouldn't mind knowing that, but I also wouldn't mind if I didn't but I'll fail my exam if I don't. I just really don't want to put in the work because I don't like it enough because it's fucking organic chemistry and of course I have to do FOUR FUCKING SEMESTERS of this shit and I'm already hating the first WHYYYYYY 😭😭

[thedevotionaltour]

i hate my dumbass school's elective credits i have to take. three fucking elective studios alongside the studio class for my bfa in order to make sure i only have to take two electives alongside my senior project. LIKE DAMN SORRY FOR TRYING TO GET MY BFA CLASSES DONE AND OUT OF THE WAY INSTEAD OF TAKING A BUNCH OF ELECTIVE STUDIOS.... also 26 credits when every class is 3 credits or 1 is in insane why is this not 24 credits needed. i should kill this school

[mifunebooty]

I think more of my relationship with my mom just gradually took more and more hold of me even though it always did and i think being home all the time in covid, even though i was already alone on campus, just made me believe in her advice and pushing more and that shit was just fucked

[ieatscentedcandles]

god bless my sets and proofs professor who gave me an A even though i earned a B