#and my soul died with the ones I loved
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I love brown eyes, my grandfather had brown eyes and had the softest look in his eyes. I wish I had brown eyes too
#how come all the relatives I hate are still alive abd the only comfy one has died#because he was tired of the nonsense#slow death of an alcoholic#he once stopped drinking for 3 years when he had a heart attack but lived#and then spiraled back into drinking#and I don't blame him I would too#at least I'm happy that he's resting now and doesn't have to worry every day about the war and shit#that's no way to live#I know I knew nothing about him but he was literally the comfiest guy amongst my flesh n blood relatives#he's resting but I'm not and I should have called him a day before he died#I wanted to call BUT FUCKING FORGOT#I can't stand the feeling of loss#and my soul died with the ones I loved#keeping my head empty all the time and letting go of the need to somehow stabilise my mood swings#the darkest void inside won't go away and I know I can't hide it I can't run I can't escape it#just pitch black#smells.like.a.freakshow
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learning to love
#they make me so fucking unwell i feel so ill whenever i think about them#it's OVER for me i'm done#teen skk is going on my fucking suicide note thanks for everything asagiri#something something your bloodied hand in mind something something by you i am forever undone#something something to the world we may be villains but to each other we're two halves of the same soul#head in my fucking hands#sry for getting all emo i rewatched pmmm yesterday and i've been feeling existential about everything#i actually listened to the pmmm ost while drawing it saved me i love you yuki kajiura😍 (i died)#nothing like a haunting latin chorus echoing through my empty head while i draw tragic yaoi 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#big shoutout to sis puella magica i had that one on loop for like two hours‼️#anyway enough about the doomed yuri anime back to skk#forget everything i said i actually hope they explode i'm sick of their asses#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#soukoku#skk#posting at ungodly hours again this is gonna catch up to me 💔#lotus draws
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"oh i love frankenstein! my favorite quote from the novel is i have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine-" grabs you by the throat and chokes you violently
#frankenstein#like. did you even read the book!!!!!#that damn quote is not in the novel#there is a similar quote that's much simpler: “if i cannot inspire love i will cause fear”#from creech's giant monologue i think#but the specific quote everyone references is from KENNETH BRANAGH'S FUCKASS MOVIE#he's a blight on the classic literature community#everything he touches dies#this also pisses me off because there are so many other wonderful quotes from the novel#but they all get overshadowed from this one fucking line that doesn't even exist in the novel#“but i am a blasted tree; the bolt has entered my soul”#“you are my creator but i am your master; obey!”#“man how ignorant art thou in thy pride of wisdom”#“be men or be more than men. be steady to your purposes and as firm as a rock”#“i am particularly industrious... but besides this there is a love for the marvellous”#wake up sheeple
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dofp having both Time In A Bottle and erik telling charles he wished he hadnt spent so many years fighting him was actually evil really !!!!!
#xmen#xmen dofp#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#AND THE FACT ITS QUICKSILVER LMAO is that cause he hates you in like. every timeline im gone bruh doin your old man like that#sorry i was rewatching DOFP because i really needed bitter exes cherik before i went back to college#and the quicksilver segment is already one of my fave moments in the film#1.) its gen a cool sequence 2.) Time In A Bottle is an excellent song#but i was wathcin the movie with my brother and he insinuated the song was cherik adjacent and ouugh i died a little#like how did /i/ not pick up on that ..... my bro dont even fw cherik like that he knows I DO tho#its so funny im invested in marvel for the first time in about a decade and im back to just yaoi on the dome#same as when i was 15 the more things change the more things stay the same etc etc#oh but yeah anyway. what if we all died.#i still think of that Alleged cut bit from the script where (old) erik was supposed to die in charles' arms when the sentinels come#like genuinely i might have just thrown my whole tv away i couldnt handle that !!!!!!!!!!#i love old cherik i fear ........ i love the young version too ofc but theres just a special spot in my soul for old man yaoi vlaekvjeal
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Very funny to me: I've realized Hannigram DOESN'T have Demolition Lovers vibes because they're already too evil. Like killing wouldn't be a sign of devotion for them, because Hannibal already does that. It's kind of his thing, actually, killing people. In fact, he eats them too.
#the devil like '1000 souls' and he's like 'hey do the ones i've already killed count?'#he would face an obstacle though where he'd probably be within the first 10 evil people. so then will would have to do it#but my understanding is that his whole arc is learning to love killing people.#wait no. 1. will dies. 2. hannibal takes the deal. 3. hannibal must kill himself as the most evil man alive. 4. the devil wins. the end.#hannigram#chem watches hannibal#hannibal#hannibal nbc#demolition lovers#I said this
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any time i remember that trump supporters are in any way associated with christianity i feel fcking insane
#i dont wanna vent too much on the internet#its just . like. a fucking anomaly. these things do not fit together. i dont understand#contradictory to the point of nausea#textpost tag#i dont know i feel like i should. i have so many (scattered)thoughts i want to put together#like there are. important things. and i want everyone to... like i love god. and i know that this is so important and i want everyone to#understnad and have access to that. like deep soul fulfilling stuff. and the core of beautiful love for everyone forever . etc im tired rn#but then some fcking how. the . hell world we live in and like constructed human culture and such#twists it all in a way that makes it so inaccessible to so many people#and i look around and im just horrifiei#i know this might sound like a less important topic to some but to me and my understanding its like. to be able to know christ *is* the#best thing that can happen for someone#and prioritising that comes from a place of i just care about people so much. and i want. good things . obviously.#i dont wanna come off as annoyingly preachy i just. i really mean what i say#and when that gets fcked with im like head explosion.#the love of christ compels us for we are convinced one died for all. etc#maybe ill write my thoughts coherently one day
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been running around act 2 trying to work out the timeline of what happened back when ketheric was defeated and im still stuck on a few things but i think ive managed to sort out most of it?
isobel dies. she doesn't remember how she died, and if you talk to squire, ketheric's dog, she says that ketheric told her she died the same night as isobel, trying to protect her. but she also doesn't remember how she died/what she was protecting isobel from.
ketheric turns to shar. he and balthazar imprison aylin in the shadowfell and build the gauntlet around that prison. i wasn't super clear on when? this happened, but she's definitely been imprisoned for at least a century, and it would've had to have been not long after he turned to shar otherwise aylin wouldn't have trusted him - i'm pretty sure she said they lured her there by saying someone was in danger? which i doubt she would've trusted if she'd known he'd converted to shar at the time.
ketheric raises an army of dark justiciars in shar's name and rebuilds the fortress in the underdark, which was already in ruin at that point. he plans to lead an assault from moonrise and the underdark.
the harpers and the druids gather in force to stop him.
at the same time, there's a very small selunite resistance in reithwin, lead by the grand mason of the mason's guild. he makes a deal with raphael to wipe out ketheric's forces. raphael sends yurgir and his army via the underdark to wipe out the dark justiciars in the fortress/temple, while ensuring theres still one alive to keep yurgir trapped there. im not entirely sure why raphael offered the mason that deal? he obviously gets the mason's soul, but it seems like a lot in exchange for one soul? yurgir says raphael mentioned 'something about an aasimar', which would've been aylin, but i can't figure out what raphael would've meant by that.
the harpers and druids defeat ketheric. this is where i get a bit confused, because if you ask jaheria about it she says she buried ketheric in the mausoleum herself, and that he was definitely dead. but when he gets attacked in the present day he heals straight away, so im not sure how he was definitely dead if he was already bound to aylin? and if he wasn't dead, it's not like they could've missed that?
im not sure exactly when ketheric was supposed to have been bought back? im assuming it had something to do with balthazar, but again i can't work out if he was actually dead or not. also not sure if he'd just been chilling in moonrise for a century before myrkul offered to bring back isobel in exchange for him becoming myrkuls chosen/joining with the other chosen. isobel probably hasn't been back for that long either by the time jaheria and the harpers arrive at last light in, otherwise ketheric probably would've found another way to try and retrieve her.
in terms of how isobel died, im very suss about the fact that she and squire both don't remember anything about it. it could be just the trauma of dying but i also wouldn't be surprised if their memories were removed, which sharrans definitely know how to do.
#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#isobel thorm#dame aylin#ketheric thorm#raphael bg3#mainly posting this incase anyone else has found additional stuff because im definitely missing some things#running around trying to work out the timeline / exactly what happened like that math lady gif#im mainly just stuck on how ketheric died / who brought him back. because he shouldn't have been able to die if he already had aylin?#its possible myrkul resurrected him for the purpose of being his chosen?#also not sure exactly why raphael offered to deal with the guild mason. i mean maybe it was all for the trouble of one soul but it seems#like a /lot/ of effort for one soul#also not sure what his mention of the assimar to yurgir was about??#also as a side note i love how isobel is just like. no mercy. kill my father. thats just what its like being gay and having a homophobic da
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Chapter 89
I just finished Chapter 89
#I just finished Chapter 89… I don’t know what else to say… I have a lot to say… but… like… no. Just no.#Kingdom of Ash spoilers in tag and I guess kinda post but not really#90s only gonna hurt more with Abraxos & Narene & I hate reading reactions & Dorian’s not there & Manon my love like what do we do now what#first read#reading reacts#live updates#read with me#cry with me die with me idk cause why with me all I have now is bad rhymes cause my brain has been evaporated too (too soon?)#read along#Chapter 89#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah Jessica Maas why did you do this to me#I miss ACOTAR where no one dies#I mean it’s well written#and I’m fangirl heartbroken#but also real world crying#cathartic read world grief Maasverse moments and love and loving and hope and destruction and despair and fangirling and feels and agh#this better have a happy ending#I can’t keep calm but I guess I’ll read on#I don’t know the last time a book made me actually cry this much and broke my heart so deeply… I miss you already Asterin… Vesta… Sorrel… 13#stupid tag letter count cut off stopping me from listing them all but my loves … always … until the darkness claims us… and even then…#I am not okay#I am dead inside#I will never recover#KoA actually stands for Killed Off All of my soul that’s what the KOA part means#SARAH WHAT DID YOU DO#I wish I could hug fictional characters#haven’t finished the book yet just the chapter that finished me#once 13 always 13#I prefered live Fenrys since it ACTUALLY INVOLVED LIVING
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ARCANE MENTION IN MY COMMUNICATIONS TECH CLASS RAHHHHH 🫡🫡🫡
#we were talking about the importance title sequences and watched a Netflix YouTube compilation of them and ARCANE WAS THERE!!!#her impact 🤭🤭#now my soul is begging me to rewatch it#arcane#I SAW MY WIFEY CAITLYN AND ALMOST DIED ILL BE FR#I miss my lovely wonderful amazing kind arcane please come back soon bbg#we didn’t watch the full intro unfortunately but like half… the imagine dragon these nuts on your face came out of me#thankfully one of my friends that sit next to me loves arcane too so I wasn’t alone 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾#I WAKE UP TO THE SOUND TO SILENCE THAT-#slay on the run
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Me when I'm about to play Mama by MCR on repeat for an hour and cry
#that momebt when#that momebt when the trans panic#she hates me#she hates me so much#ahe wouldn't care if I died.#she would sacrifice my soul for five mins with Constantine wnd Jericho#she hates me so fucking much#YOU SHOULD'VE RAISED A BABY GIRL I SHOULD'VE BEEN A BETTER SON#IF YIU CODDLE THE INFECTION THEY CAN AMPUTATE AT ONCE#I SHOULD'VE BEEN#I COULD'VE BEEN A BETTER SOM#she doesn't consider me her son unfortunately#mcr#mama mcr#WHEN YOU GO DON'T RETURN TO ME MY LOVE#im gonna stab something#HAVOC AYE MY FUCKING RAT#I HAVE ONE LESS RAT#AND MY OTHER RST DOESN'T WANT TO BE LONLEY#FUCK YOU CALLUM#if you're wondering I will continue to go insane due to the lack of Master Joseph#need my fake father figure back fuck you Aaron#WE'RE DAMNED AFTER ALL#THROUGH FORTUNE AND FLAME WE FALL AND IF YOU CAN STAY THEN I'LL SHOW YOU THE WAY TO RETURN FROM THE ASHES WE FALL#WE ALL CARRU ON THOUGH OUR BROTHERS IN ARMS ARE GONE#SO RAISE YOUR GLASS HIGH#FOR TOMORROW WE DIE AND RETURN FROM THE ASHES YOU CALL#alex strike rp
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I need to play more Hades <- girl who spent all of last night playing Hades
#shut up alli#‘did you only just now start a game that came out years ago?’ yes. next question#it’s so funnnnn so fun I’m having a lovely time#dungeon crawlers are one of my fave genres so I’m in my element! (I have died many times)#but the fun part about it is watching me get better and stronger with every new attempt. it gives a very solid sense of accomplishment#and the characters? oh my godddd they’re all awesome#I’ve always been very autistic about Greek mythology so obviously it is impossible for me to dislike anyone#Hypnos and Chaos reign supreme for me but everyone is very likeable#like idk props to the dev team I can tell they put their souls in it#it makes me even more excited for Hades 2 when it releases#I wonder if they’ll put it on switch or wait for the next console#I really can’t believe such a sick ass game was so cheap too. like 24.99 for me to have the best time of my life? bitch I’d tip if I could#I mean it was a bday gift too so ya know but still
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not to be weird and sappy on main, but frfr i'm so glad i have found a community of people who think my work is good
#talking#to the tags if you want the longer rant that maybe i'll talk about fully one day#tl;dr when i was in hs i was with my ex that i think ive mentioned like once or twice#there was a lot of shit wrong with that relationship and us and me at the time#but the thing that happened after we broke up which was the worst was her saying i was passionless#because in her mind i wasn't 'trying hard enough'#didn't help that she was super talented in art (even if thinking about it now its way too disney for my taste tbh)#and seemingly had her life together bc she had a super cool supportive mom#(wish i could've gotten her in the divorce tm)#and tbh that haunted me for YEARS#i stopped drawing for years after being with her#i didn't really pick up drawing HARD again until 2020#and i didn't really work on many of my own wips#just kinda poked at the ashes of the wips i got in the divorce (which funnily enough i don't use anymore. used the ocs but not the plots)#i was just so fucked up about it#but seeing y'all comment that you like my writing and my art#having people say that my worldbuilding is fire and passionate#idk it heals the part of me that died that day#so thank you all from the bottom of my soul#whenever y'all are kind enough to compliment me the hole mends even more#so idk i was just thinkin about it like bro the difference between me then and now is night and day#in part to all my lovely friends and mutuals#so yeah idk thank u i'm gonna go back in me corner again
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Rolling With Difficulty as texts I have saved on my computer for some reason
(i drew every day for like a month straight and burnt out so have this nonsense instead)
#rolling with difficulty#dani rwd#finbar rwd#kyana rwd#vrla rwd#vr la rwd#which of those is the correct tag. like genuine question#k lb rwd#maxim rwd#i had one that was k-lb and c-ra but it got eaten by tumblr somehow#anyway sorry for the wildly varying formatting these are amassed across like 4 years and god knows how many messaging apps#if you want context to 'we eat spoon' me and my friend bought a bean curd and for some reason we thought the spoon was made of like#that biodegradable/technically edible plastic material#i mean idk what it was actually made of but it sure as shit wasnt edible because i was the one who tried#same friend is the one who almost died on a highway with me because we misread google maps and tried to push our bikes#along a highway shoulder for 30 minutes at like... 12 in the morning#selling your soul for 25 bucks is a joke from when i was playing fallen london and actually sold my soul in game for about that much#im realising now that i may very well be the dani of my friend group and i have no idea how to feel about that#the original of the crush on maxim one was me @ my arospec ace friend who loved making fun of me for my dumb crushes#so it was like. my one rare chance to take revenge because while they were Suffering with that *i* was studying for a competition! lmao#i should do these more often like i do these for all my fandoms and its always a blast every time
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On the subject of the finale, I've seen many fanarts and fanfic comics and stuff with Eminath flirting, and while I ship them BIG TIME, I'm surprised by how many people portray Nathalie as the flirty one. Nathalie would absolutely do a Marinette if anyone ever tried to flirt with her. Half the time she probably wouldn't pick up on the fact that Emilie was flirting with her, and the other half of the time she'd just go bright red and stop speaking for at least five minutes. I mean come on this is Nathalie we're talking about - she's literally got "heartless" in her name and is canonically very very shy (and covers it up with the "heartless" exterior). Emilie is the flirt here.
#Very specific topic but I do find the idea of Emilie constantly flirting with an oblivious Nathalie extremely entertaining#“yes we both died due to the peacock Miraculous being broken”#“just one of the many things we have in common my love ;-)”#“no because it was under very different circumstances. Why are you looking at me like that”#People are like “are you together?” and Emilie makes a flirty comment whereas Nathalie just sort of. Shuts down.#“physically yes we are both present. However I think perhaps my soul just vacated the premises”#The possibilities are endless and hilarious and they'd better do this in s6#miraculous season 5#nathalie sancoeur#emilie agreste#eminath#miraculous ladybug#ml spoilers
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I just love how in age of ultron
Marvel established
that they have these pods
that can heal people of serious injuries
And are capable of building an entire body out of nothing pretty much aside from like a sentient Rock
and that this pod
which is destroyed at some point in this movie
is a lower level version of something that Dr Helen Cho has in her facility in wherever she said it was cause it's been a while since I've watched this movie
and then they
to my knowledge
Never mentioned again
#i used paragraphs instead of commas#im sorry it just flowed closer to the way it sounds in my head#marvel#age of ultron#like seriously at that point did Anyone need to die?#did bucky Absolutely Have To Have a metal arm?#thors eye anyone?#like the only deaths i feel you could make an argument for are nat and vision#because clint didnt bring nats body back with him (utter bullshit in my opinion#that the soul stone doesnt even allow you to bring back the corpse of your loved one#so you cant even give them a proper burial#and they just decay on those wet ass rocks)#and vision died cause his Brain Rock was ripped out and i dont think they would have been able to replicate it#but literally EVERYONE ELSE#TONY? AUNT MAY?? A THIRD NAME THAT IS SLIPPING MY MIND AT THIS MOMENT???#i havent closely followed the marvel fandom since endgame#and i fully stopped giving a shit after multiverse of madness because what in the christ was that#PIETRO?#theres the third name#PIETRO WAS LITERALLY IN THE SAME MOVIE TOO WHAT THE FUCK#THIS FEELS LIKE LAZY WRITING AT THIS POINT#HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HAD A MIRACLE MAX MOSTLY DEAD MOMENT#AND WALKED OUT OF THE HEALING TUBE ROOM AND HIT THEM WITH A “WHAT YOU DIDNT SEE THAT COMING”#thats officially my headcanon now#ngl ive been pissed about pietro dying since 2015#he was hot and i was 14 what do you expect
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one of my fav tropes in Star Trek fics is the “away mission went wrong and now we’re stranded on this planet and must learn to get along to survive” and i want more klance fics like that SO BAD!! It suits them so well. Give them to me. I want like a long one….a slow burn….is this gonna have to be a fine I’ll do it myself moment bc don’t tempt me. I’ll consider it.
#i read one once that was literally EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED it felt canon they were so in character the PLOT!!!!! !#it was like reading a sci fi novel where my blorbos fell in love#but i didn’t read…..THE TAGS!!!!!#AND KEITH DIED AT THE END. AND IT FELT LIKE HE HAD DIED IN MY SOUL FOR LIKE A WEEK AT LEAST#SO I WANT ONE WHERE MY LITTLE GUY DOESNT FUCKING PERISH#klance#vld#Voltron#colleen thoughts#good as fic but my fucking god there’s a scene at the end where lance is back at the garrison bc they got back to earth and there’s#missing posters for all of them but not for KEITH BC NO ONE WAS FUCKING LOOKING IM LOSING MY MIND!!!!!!#AND LACE WAS SCREAMINIG AT THEM GOING SOMEONE ELSE WAS THERE WITH US SOMEONE WHO SHOULD BE HERE NOW#i literally had to rant to my irl friend about it bc it messed me up so bad . i had no other choice i had no Voltron friends.#anyway. im normal now. no need to worry :)
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