#good as fic but my fucking god there’s a scene at the end where lance is back at the garrison bc they got back to earth and there’s

[leenfiend]

one of my fav tropes in Star Trek fics is the “away mission went wrong and now we’re stranded on this planet and must learn to get along to survive” and i want more klance fics like that SO BAD!! It suits them so well. Give them to me. I want like a long one….a slow burn….is this gonna have to be a fine I’ll do it myself moment bc don’t tempt me. I’ll consider it.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 38

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

only the dead have seen the end of war by @kartoffxl [MCD]

Lance must have seen something in Keith’s face, because his expression crumpled in anguish. “You… You love me back.” He put his head in his hands. “Oh my god. You loved me. You love me. This—This is so fucked up.” “Lance, I—” “Tell me I’m wrong.” There were tears in his eyes. “Tell me we didn’t just waste all those years being cowards.” Keith clenched his fists at his sides, still reeling from the whiplash of what he had just heard earlier. This can’t be happening. “Say it!” Lance pressed. “Say you don’t love me.” Please, his eyes begged. Keith and Lance finally figure out that they’re absolutely, undeniably, embarrassingly in love with each other, just not exactly in the best of circumstances.

okay so. this is. technically. one of the meaner fics im reccing. HOWEVER. it is gaspingly unbelievably beautifully and painfully written. even the summary kills me -- say you dont love me. im begging you. im begging you to lie to me right now. as we lay dying im begging you to have mercy on me and let me believe i didnt have a chance for beauty with you. im begging you to let me die with one regret instead of millions. please. please dont let me die being loved by you. LIKE WHAT

2. Toast to Freedom by @icypantherwrites

Keith is used to more than his fair share of dark looks. What he’s not used to is seeing those looks directed at Lance for no reason that he can determine and it’s making something uneasy settle in his stomach and the heavy press of the mantle of leader weigh even heavier as he should be doing something about it but he doesn’t know what. But causing a scene will upset the alliance they need and so Keith chooses to wait it out, to address it after the feast. He should never have waited.

will never ever in my life get over to 'i drank your poison because no suffering would be worse than watching it on you' not ever. it is always so so everything. and NO ONE does it like icy panther

3. Disjointed Soul by @icypantherwrites

Lance falls victim to a Soul Leecher, a dark spirit that is drawn to disjointed souls to steal them for itself. The Paladins must go into Lance's very soul to save him, uncovering truths about themselves and Lance in the process. Time is of the essence before Lance is lost forever. Good thing they have such helpful, adorable soul guides.

"Hi there baby Lance," Hunk greeted. "Ohwah," Lance burbled back. "¡Ohwah!" "Ohwah?" Pidge repeated. "I think he's saying "hola,'" Hunk grinned. "You know, "hello" in Spanish. Hola, baby Lance." "¡Ohwah! ¡Ohwah!"

this is one of THEEEE original insecure lance fics fr like it was the BLUEPRINT. 2018 there wasnt a langst loving soul who hadnt read this at least twice. its not too long for my dears w shoddy attention spans but its long enough to have quite a bit of substance!! team as family with communication and lance at the centre of it. what more do u want

4. Sleep Well, My Son by @icypantherwrites

A tiny accident becomes literal when Lance is turned into a child with no recollection from his older self. Coran has hopes the effects will be relatively short-term, but in the meantime he has a scared child that needs both reassurance and care. And while Coran might not have had the chance to be a father… he feels like one now.

look i love a good de aged lance fic and obviously when i was making these bookmarks i was scrolling my way thru the tag. and this one is especially amazing bc it is coran centred! this is a coran fic! this is a fic about quiet grief in the life you never got to live and acceptance for the life you have now and love for the people life has brought you!! it is about coran finding family through people who so desperately need it!! it is everything!!

5. Amigos by @icypantherwrites

A dangerous mission becomes even moreso when Lance is turned into a child with no recollection of his older self in the middle of it. Keith has never been good with kids and that certainly isn’t going to change now. Somehow though he’s got to convince Lance — who doesn’t speak a word of English and is staring at Keith with too wide, too scared of eyes — to come with him, get them both out of the Galran base now crawling with sentries alive, and then, assuming they get that far, figure out how to change Lance back.

shut up about the repeated author shut up about the same trope shut up about the. okay. i am a simple creature. i am annoying. i like to sit on my little armchair and open my little phone and read the same thing a million times. there is a Way to read fic and that way is to click on and scroll through a tag until you find a fic you like then scroll through that author and then go back to the tag and rinse and repeat. besides this fic is amazing okay i love klance but we rarely get platonic klance and its GOOD okay

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[kikyan]

You’re my favorite Human (Yandere Izaya x F! Reader x Yandere Shizuo)

Before ANY of yall say anything, I wrote this as a birthday special to an online friend I once had. If Izaya and literally anybody else sounds OOC, it’s because this was written back in 2018/2019 after I watched Durarara!! For a bit of background info, I first watched Durarara!! back in middle school when a friend admitted to liking the anime and well I decided to watch too. This show was too complex for my small ass mind so I dropped it. Then I met my online friend (we are no longer friends) who would always comment on Quotev where I was most active at the time. Well, I literally only picked up this anime again for said friend and the birthday request. I wrote this immediately right after the show so if it sucks ass, there is a reason for it. Anyway’s I promise to give them justice if I manage to write my spooky Slasher AU’s for them. Also if you somehow end up managing which ‘slasher’ Shizuo and Izaya fit I’ll write you a special one-shot within my guidelines for your birthday/Christmas depending on the time constraint. Here you go, for the curious peeps!  This story branches off to two endings, Izaya ending w/ Smut and a Shizuo ending because I became a hardcore simp over that man and will literally do anything he tells me to. Regardless, I will edit the links and such for their appropriate endings! This story is also unedited so. . .have fun IG 

ALSO THE READER IS A FEMALE BECAUSE THIS WAS A BIRTHDAY REQUEST THAT A CERTAIN SOMEONE DIDN’T LIKE SO YEAH FUCK THEM, BUT THEY WERE FEMALE AND WANTED THAT SO JUST REPLACE SHE/HER WITH THE PRONOUNS YOU FEEL MOST COMFORABLE WITH!!!!! I ALSO DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE BACK THEN SO YOU’RE A GENERIC MC WITH A STUTTER PROBABLY 

God I sucked at writing fics so much back then. . .

"IZAYA!!" 

The blonde man proceeded to pick up the red vending machine stationed outside a random building, preparing to lance it at the black-haired male he called Izaya. 

"S-Shizuo!! It's not worth it!! Calm down!! Um- I know! I'll make some tea for you to calm down just please drop the vending machine!!"

"NO, I CAN'T! AFTER SEEING THIS PIECE OF SHIT I'M ALREADY FUMING WITH RAGE!" 

"Shizuo!! Please!! Milk! Yep, milk will surely calm you down just please Shizuo!! You're attracting too much attention and you don't like violence right!!" 

“Throw it Shizu-Chan. Or are you too weak to hold it anymore.”

"IZAYA!!!" 

Shizuo turned away from the (h/c) individual as he began to grip a stop sign before removing it from the ground and began to run towards Izaya. 

" Shizuo stop!! Geez, Izaya please refrain from edging him on! Shizuo don't give in! You're better, in fact, you want to be better!! You want to be stronger to have more control right!! Well. . . Don't give in!!" 

At the sound of this Shizuo stopped before tossing the stop sign to the side and grabbing the (h/c) haired individual and dragging you off with him. 

Looking back, the person Shizuo was dragging turned around to look back at Izaya before stopping in their tracks and bowing apologetically. 

" I'm sorry Izaya for the commotion we caused, but I hope you understand that Shizuo is a bit difficult but I'm sure he can change! You too izaya, you seem to try to edge him on and that reflects poorly on you! So please Izaya, I hope you understand too!" 

" Oi (Y/N), what are you apologizing for?" 

Smiling softly at Izaya and giving him a shy wave (Y/N) turned to face Shizuo and continued to answer his question.

"Well, I mean I didn't stop him from edging you on!" 

" I swear you really are the most optimistic, apologetic, and kindest person on this planet. You are one of a kind." 

Laughing softly (Y/N)  turned to Shizuo as they began to reply, " Thank you! It means a lot to me Shizuo!" 

Walking alongside Shizuo, (Y/N) proceeded to make small talk unaware of the lingering dark eyes upon her figure.

~~ 

"(Y/N), I swear I can't figure you out. No matter what you do or what happens you always apologize to everyone. Even that damn Izaya!" 

"Well, Shizuo I like to be positive!! Besides, I'm sure second chances must be given!!" 

" Hmph. Even those who commit the worst of crimes?" 

"Well, I'm not the one entitled to forgive them for crimes committed against another, but I believe if someone truly wanted to, someone could change." 

"Oh?" 

" For example, you! I mean you've gotten several chances, haven't you? You have a stable job, although you can get quite violent, you have friends, and you are trying your hardest to change! So, I feel like anyone could change!!" 

"Hmph. You forgot something. . ." 

" I did?" 

" Yeah, I also have the best person next to my side, you, (Y/N) (L/N)." 

" I-I-I-I u-um S-sh!?" 

" Heh, you get flustered all of a sudden and it suits your personality. I wonder how I got stuck with someone like you (Y/N). . ."

~~

Bodies were lying around Shizuo in the school field as he huffed in rage and looked to the side to see a (h/c) haired female with (e/c) eyes looking wide at the scene that laid before them. 

" Hmph, what are you scared?" 

Shizuo asked as he looked at the female before looking a bit confused as he noticed the expression on the girl changed. She was smiling and shook her head before answering his question. 

" Nope! I mean what you did isn't good but I'm sure you have a reason! Besides, I feel like deep down you regret it. I mean, although you are pretty violent, you probably don't want to be right?" 

"I... .hmph. Stop being odd and spouting nonsense." 

As the female turned to the bodies she bowed apologetically and began to speak. 

"I'm sorry! I apologize for his behavior! He doesn't mean it! He regrets it! Besides, you guys should know that violence isn't acceptable so please apologize for your actions as well! Fighting isn't acceptable!!" 

"HUH? WHAT THE HELL? WHO THE HELL YOU APOLOGIZING TO?" 

" W-w-well I am apologizing to them and you!! I mean you didn't mean too!! Besides, fighting is wrong! Both parties were at fault so I must apologize for it!" 

" WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO APOLOGIZE? YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"W-w-well!! They are knocked out and can't speak, plus you won't apologize, you want to but you can't bring yourself to!!"

" OKAY BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" 

"I-I’M SORRY!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO BOTHER YOU BUT I THOUGHT THAT WELL I-?!" 

"NOW WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?!" 

 "I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO-!?"

"STOP APOLOGIZING!" 

"I'M SORRY! AHHH I KEEP DOING IT!" 

"YEAH. NOW STOP!" 

"I'M SORRY I'LL TRY! WAIT-" 

"OH JUST SHUT UP!" 

"I'M SOR-!?" 

"STOP APOLOGIZING! GOD DAMN IT!" 

"I CAN'T IT'S A HABIT!" 

"Geez, troublesome woman." 

" Ahhh!! What time is it?!" 

"Why the hell are you asking me?" 

"Crap I think I missed my train! Now I have to walk home! Wait, that's fine! I missed gym class to help the teachers so this will count for my exercise! Of course, I shouldn't feel down!" 

" You're unusually optimistic. I'd be pissed as all hell if that happened." 

"Well I think everything happens for a reason and besides, you need to see the bright side of everything! Anyway, I need to go! I have to walk for about maybe 2 hours till I arrive home and I do have homework to complete! I'm sorry for being a bother but I hope to see you tomorrow at school!" 

"Wait." 

 "Yeah?" 

"Let me, let me walk you home alright." 

"B-b-but!?" 

"LISTEN IT'S MY FAULT YOU MISSED THE TRAIN SO LET ME WALK YOU HOME DAMN IT!" 

"Ahh okay okay! I'm sorry for bothering you but thank you!!" 

"Yeah, yeah just stop apologizing and don't start again." 

"Alright! By the way, what's your name?"

" Shizuo Heiwajima. Yours?" 

" (Y/N) (L/N)!" 

As they began to walk side by side (Y/N) began to laugh as she asked Shizuo questions upon question leading to Shizuo answering them and laughing as he realized, maybe having someone not fear him, was a good feeling. 

"Hey, Shizuo?" 

"Yeah? What is it?" 

" Wanna go for Russian sushi?" 

Looking down at the girl Shizuo gave his usual smirk before responding happily. 

" Sure, why not?" 

~~

"Hey, Shizuo?" 

" Yeah?" 

Turning around he met with the female who became his best friend and possibly his crush. Smiling softly he turned to give her all of his attention despite the number of bodies surrounding him in the field of his high school. 

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to um, well. . ." 

"SHIZUO! I have someone I would like to introduce you too!~" 

" Huh?" 

Shizuo replied in his usual tone as to be turned to meet the faces of the young boy with glasses, brown hair and grey eyes whom he quickly recognized as his friend Shinra Kishitani but the other boy, had dark hair and matching eyes he did not. 

"What do you want Shinra?" 

"Oh? Am I interrupting you and your girlfriend~" 

"Girlfriend?! I-I-I’m j-just a friend!?" 

Shizuo looked to the side but quickly locked eyes with the boy. Shinra looking at Shizuo quickly turned to introduce the other boy. 

"His name is Izaya Orihara! He is in the same year and class as us!" 

Upon looking at Izaya, Shizuo quickly launched an attack towards him before Izaya leaped out and grabbed his knife before slicing Shizuo across the abdomen. Shizuo looked down noticing the wound before looking back at Izaya. 

"S-s-shizuo?! Are you okay? Oh, I'm so sorry this happened!!" 

"(Y/N) it's fine and stop apologizing! You didn't do anything wrong! Besides, it was him, Izaya. . ." 

"Oh? Come on Shizu-chan I haven't even done anything. . ." 

"I'm sorry!! I apologize that Shizuo charged at you and hurt you! He tends to do that a lot, but I apologize on your behalf! Shizuo, I apologize that Izaya cut you! I'm sorry I couldn't stop him from cutting you and possibly distracted you. So please, violence is not the answer! Izaya and Shizuo I apologize and I hope you may make up and be best friends!!" 

"Eh?" 

"(Y/N) YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! STOP APOLOGIZING FOR OUR MISTAKES!" 

"I'm sorry! Ah, wait u-u-um well I know you both didn't mean it!!" 

"Here we go again. . . (Y/N) STOP APOLOGIZING, ON TOP OF THAT TO THAT GUY!" 

Shizuo was pointing at Izaya with a hint of disgust written across his face as Izaya looked dumbfounded for a split moment before asking, "Wait? You serious?" 

"Huh?" 

"Did you just apologize for something you didn't do?" 

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bother you!" 

"I-, well it seems this took an interesting turn of events. Well, goodbye Shizu-chan, (Y/N) right?" 

"Y-yeah. . ." 

Shizuo stood in front holding his arm protectively (Y/N)  as Izaya twirled the pocket knife in his arms in a strange direction before smiling and whispering a small, “Interesting. . .” 

As Izaya turned to leave, Shizuo muttered a small “ That bastard makes me so damn mad” before turning to (Y/N) realizing she had something to say before you were both rudely interrupted by Shinra. 

“ Hey (Y/N) what did you want? You had something to say before that damn bastard arrived.” 

“ O-Oh I-I did. . . um, Shizuo I wanted to ask if you wanted to miss the last train again and... .walk me home, and get Russian sushi with me. . .” 

“ Is that your way of asking me out on a date?” 

Teasing (Y/N) slightly she turned red upon hearing that before nodding her head softly. With a sigh, Shizuo smiled and dragged the smaller female by her arm before muttering a “ finally you asked” causing the female to turn even redder at the comment. (Y/N) ran a little ahead and turned back to smile at Shizuo before whispering “ I love you Shizuo. . .” 

~~ 

Walking to the shared home that Shizuo and (Y/N) have, (Y/N) grabbed a small jug of milk before handing it to Shizuo scolding him for getting violent, but congratulating him on holding back and not letting Izaya get to him. 

“ I don’t know what I would do without you (Y/N), I mean it . . .” 

“ I’m just lucky this happened when we were walking together and not when you were working. Izaya can be a bit extreme but I’m sure he means well!!” 

“Heh, you always look on the bright side, don’t you?” 

“ Exactly!! Looking on the bright side is exactly what brought us together!! I mean after you dropped me off at my house we got to be great friends, that's also when you confided in me your secrets and feelings. Then you began to realize that I didn’t fear you and truly cared for you. Then we went on a date, and became a couple! Dating for a good 5, 6 years?” 

“ Yep, luckily we still love each other.” 

“ I won’t ever stop loving you Shizuo, because you accepted me for who I am. Now it’s time to let me accept you for who you are. . . I mean I already did but you can’t get it through that thick skull of yours can you?” 

“ What do you mean, I understand.” 

“ Yet, every time you encounter Izaya and I’m not around you come home quite sad and always ask me if I would ever leave you. Shizuo, I would never leave you.” 

“ Well yeah but. . .”

“ But?” 

“ You’re right. I should head to work. See you later (Y/N). Take care and don’t do anything strange.” 

“ I wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t do.” 

“ That worries me.” 

“ I’m just going to talk to Celty or just hang around the park! See you later Shizuo!” 

“ Hmph. Later and don’t forget that I love you.” 

“ I should be saying that but of course! Love you too and later!” 

Shizuo smiled at the girl before heading off to visit Tom his friend and employer. They had another client that refused to pay up and Shizuo was going to “pay” him a visit to ensure he did. (Y/N) locked the door before going on her phone and texting Celty. 

‘ You busy Cel?’ 

‘ No, not really. Why do you ask?’ 

`` I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out and chat.’ 

‘ Sure. I’ll pick you up and we can head off to the park. That fine?’ 

``you read my mind Cel. Alright, I’ll get ready.’  

(Y/N) changed into a new set of clothing before waiting on the couch for Celty to pick her up and head to the park. Celty and (Y/N) got along well as well, (Y/N) always saw the bright side. When she and celty were close enough, originally being introduced by Shinra, Celty confided in her about not having a head and (Y/N) offered some light on the subject. 

“ Well, head or no head  I think you’re perfect just the way you are. For example, you can still do pretty much everything right? Aside from taste but still Celty! I think that is what makes you unique I mean, if you think about it, only those people who truly love and care for you will accept you no matter what. Take a look at Shizuo, he believed everyone feared him, but I didn’t. I love him! Just like I love you Celty! I accept you for who you are and you will always be celty with or without your head! So cheer up, I don’t like seeing my friends sad!” 

With that, a new friendship was born leading (Y/N) to be best friends with the fearsome headless rider. 

< - - - - - - - - - - - - > 

KANRA HAS JOINED THE CHAT

Kanra: Hey guys! I have a question about a specific person. 

Setton: A person? Who? 

TarouTanaka: Agreed. It’s quite rare to see you not having information on anyone. 

Kanra: Precisely, which is why I must know. Do any of you know a (Y/N) (l/n)? 

Setton: (Y/N)? Not personally but I’ve heard rumors. . . 

Setton: There’s not much I know about her, but I’ve heard rumors of her being in the Dollars.

Setton: Besides that, I’ve also heard she’s Shizuo Heiwajima’s girlfriend and possibly future wife.

TarouTanaka: Shizuo Heiwajima? As in THE Shizuo Heiwajima? Do you know the violent one? 

Kanra: That’s so scary!! Who would put up with him? 

Kanra: *Gasps* you don’t think. . .

TarouTanaka: Think what? 

Kanra: You don’t think she’s using him do you? I mean, having a strong boyfriend has its perks right? 

Setton: She’s not that type of person.

Setton: From what I’ve heard, at least.

Kanra: Oh? You seem to get a bit defensive. Are you sure you don’t know her? 

Kanra: I mean, think about it. What is so special about Shizuo that would lead someone like her to love him? 

Kanra: Honestly, I think she could be using him after all I’m sure there are more people that someone like her could pick from. 

Setton: Well everything is just based on rumors, but I doubt she’s a bad type of person.

Setton: Love has always been a confusing matter. All that matters is that they like each other for who they are.

Setton: It’s not our place to make assumptions.

Kanra: Love is indeed confusing. 

TarouTanaka: I agree with Setton, I am sure they love each other for who they are. Is everything alright Kanra? 

Kanra: Yes, but it still stumps me on how little information we have of his girlfriend. Not only that but we have little information on the relationship as well. Has anyone seen her? Know what she looks like? 

Setton: I’ve only heard a vague description of her: (e/c) and (h/c). I could pass her on the street and not even know.

Setton: But I’m sure she’s just a private person. We should respect that and try not to dig into her life.

Kanra: Oh fair maiden will I ever see you?

TarouTanaka: You sure you aren’t trying to steal his girlfriend? 

Kanra: ^ 0 ^ Never! 

Setton: This has been an interesting discussion and all, but I’m needed elsewhere.

Setton: Later.

< - - - - - - - - - - - - - > 

SETTON HAS LEFT THE CHAT

Kanra: Well I better head out too, later Tarou! 

TarouTanaka: Later! 

< - - - - - - - - - - - - - >

KANRA HAS LEFT THE CHAT.

TAROUTANAKA HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

THERE IS NO ONE IN THE CHAT. 

A figure began to ponder and look outside with a pair of binoculars as a female with (e/c) and (h/c) walked by. 

‘ Oh? I think I should properly introduce myself to the fair maiden’ 

~~ 

The young girl walked out of her house ready to speak with the dullahan. Upon seeing the headless rider the young girl waved her hand signaling the rider. 

“ Celty! Over here!” 

The rider began to make its way to the female before hugging and typing away on its phone. 

“Oh good, I was worried I arrived too early.”

“ Nah! Even if you did, you would have more time to look around and notice life at it’s finest!” 

“Oh Y/N, still as cheerful as ever, huh?”

“ Oh, you know it! Now let's head to the park! I want to see Ikebukuro at its prime time at night!” 

“Of course, but as we’re walking let me ask: How’s it going between you and Shizuo?”

“ Well. . . I-I-I I think it’s going great! He isn’t getting as rowdy and violent so I think he is changing a little bit! He ended getting me a gift, a necklace to be exact for our 5th anniversary! It says his name! He also has one, one with my name!”  

“I’m glad to hear you guys are going great. I’m sure that nothing could ever break your relationship, right?” 

“ Exactly! He and I have never had a serious argument! Maybe a little scolding but it’s fine like this! I always end up congratulating him in the end! He is the sweetest! Every time he comes home he asks me if I love him which makes me sad because I hope he knows I do! However. . . he always ends up spoiling me in love! The real question. . . is how is it with Shinra?” 

“Oh. . . Well, you know how he is. We’re as close as we can ever be, especially now that I’m more accustomed to the whole headless thing. That doesn’t mean I’m not looking, though.”

“ You will find it Celty! I know for a fact you will find it! I’ll help you when I have time! Hey look it’s the park let’s find a bench!” 

[park bench scene]

“You know, Y/N, I heard that you and Shizuo were considering getting married. Is it true?”

“ Well, I-!?” 

“ Well, Celty! I didn’t know you were here? (Y/N) too! What a surprise too! Do you mind if I sit with you guys?” 

“ Well, not really! Feel free to sit Izaya!” 

“ Interesting, now continue what were we talking about?” 

“ Well, Celty asked about my marriage to Shizuo!” 

“ So it’s true. . .” 

“ Yeah! Celty we are! Sometime next week we were going to look for dresses!” 

“That’s wonderful Y/N! If you need anything, I’m always available to help.”

“ Of course!” 

“ Same here.  . . a wedding between Shizu-chan and (Y/N) seems interesting. . .” 

“ So (Y/N), why are you with Shizu-chan? What’s the catch?” 

“ Pardon Izaya?” 

“ I mean, why would someone like YOU be with someone like HIM? What are the perks of having Shizu-chan as your boyfriend?” 

“ Perks?!” 

“I know that you and Shizuo have an on-going rivalry, but should you be asking Y/N questions like that?” 

“ I was just curious Celty! Besides, do you have the answer?” 

“ Well, there are no perks.” 

“ Huh?” 

“ I love Shizuo, not for his strength or perks. I love him because he was kind to me. He accepts my optimistic side, even though it can be quite annoying and I accept his violent tendencies! He is doing so much to change and I will support him from now on! When we met, he kinda beat the entire team on the field and I apologized for the both of him! He got confused and I apologized for my behavior and we kinda got into a mini battle of him asking me to stop apologizing and well my apologizing even more! Nonetheless, I missed the train, but it gave me a chance to talk to him and as you can tell he walked me home! Since then, a steady relationship! So it’s not about the benefits, it’s what we feel for each other that motivates us!” 

“ Interesting. . . “  

“ I agree Y/N, it’s about love, not benefits. Might want to save a speech that profounds for your wedding though.

“ You’re right! Oh, I’m sorry Izaya for ruining the surprise!” 

‘ Interesting. . . she isn’t like every other human, she doesn’t seem to lie, hide things, and seems to be honest. She seems to be optimistic. Hmph, interesting that she isn’t like all the other humans I love, she’s different and I can’t wait to see her face, her entire being change as I pull the strings from behind! (Y/N), you are quite interesting, you are like my special, no my favorite human and I need to see your reactions to everything... .’ 

“ (Y/N)?” 

“ Ah, Shizuo! O-over here!” 

“ Celty’s here too and-?!” 

Shizuo stared at the black-haired male with such anger raging within them as he let out a growl before examining the area. 

“ IZAYA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” 

“ It’s a park? Am I not allowed to visit one?” 

“ IT’S WHO YOU’RE WITH THAT MATTERS! (Y/N) DID HE TOUCH YOU OR HURT YOU IN ANY WAY?” 

“ N-no! Shizuo we were only just talking! Besides, Celty was here with us! It was all friendly talk!” 

“ Celty, take (Y/N) and go to Shinra’s place. I’ll meet you there once I finish killing this bastard!” 

Typing away Celty nodded showing her phone with the message being, ‘Of course. Be careful before doing anything crazy, but please hear Y/N out first. Learn a bit about the situation before jumping into anything dangerous.”

“ Oh my Shizu-chan!~ So you are dating her. Isn’t that interesting. . . I say though it’s shocking, to say the least, that someone like (Y/N) would fall in love with you. Someone as fragile, beautiful, delicate, and forgiving like (Y/N) with a violent man as yourself, well I’d be damned!” 

“ I’m sorry! Izaya, I apologize for Shizuo’s behavior as he ended up attacking you without hearing my part, which I still have yet to say! However, I apologize on your part as well Izaya as you didn’t mean anything by chatting with us, but you asked some not so nice things. On the bright side, you know the truth and know that Shizuo isn’t a bad person!” 

“ (Y/N) . . .?” 

“ Shizuo! Celty and I were chatting when Izaya approached us, we were just talking! He didn’t hurt me, besides Celty would have put him in his place before I would have! Please believe me, Celty tell him the truth as well!” 

“Of course, there was nothing suspicious going on. Just a regular conversation full of small talk. Nothing shady or malicious between us and Izaya.”

“ Tch. Fine, but still take her to Shinra. I don’t want this bastard to find out where we live. I still want to kill him. . .” 

“ S-Shizuo! It’s fine, we don’t need to go see Shinra!” 

“ Aww, Shizu-chan you’re scaring her!~ Besides, what if (Y/N) doesn’t want to leave? You’re her boyfriend but you aren’t her owner. Besides, why do you get to keep her all to yourself, as you know I love humans, I can’t get enough of them! But she, she is quite interesting, as all humans I love her as well but aren’t you pushing it Shizuo chan?” 

“ Keep that damn mouth of yours shut!” 

“ I wonder, how long will it take you to screw up your relationship with her like you always do. Have you even proposed to her yet? Being the violent person you are you probably used someone's body as a foot stand before asking her to be your wife!” 

“ NO! That’s wrong! He proposed at Russia Sushi! We went out to eat as it was also our first date! See, even Simon took the picture and hung it in the dining area! You can see Shizuo’s fist but that was because he was embarrassed Simon took a picture and well he snapped, see how red he is? I’m the one crying in the background while holding the ring! It’s even my lock and home screen!” 

“ YOU DON’T NEED TO GO THAT FAR! WAIT-HE HAS IT HANGED? I NEED TO KILL THIS MAN FIRST THAN YOU DAMN IZAYA!” 

“ NO NOT SIMON! WAIT SHIZUO!” 

Running after Shizuo, (Y/N)  turned around one last time before bowing apologetically and smiling at Izaya before running after her fiance. Celty typing away on her phone showing it to Izaya. 

“Be careful about what you say around Y/N. I know what you’re trying to do and I advise you against it. It won’t end well for either of you.”

“ Whatever do you mean Celty?” 

“I’ve seen the way you look at Y/N; the way you observe her with that calculated glee in your eye. Even if you do separate her from Shizuo, she wouldn’t be happy with someone considered a homewrecker. She’s too optimistic for her good, she’ll easily forgive you, but she would never be able to forgive herself for hurting Shizuo. If you truly value her like you say you do, don’t try to meddle in her personal affairs.” 

“ I want to see every possible reaction from her, so this is quite tempting. Besides, Celty why do you care much about her? I love humans and I’m not willing to share, (Y/N) is no exception.” 

“Y/N is the best person I know. She’s kind no matter what and brings hope and joy to all of those that she comes across. She deserves to live the best life she can, one filled with no despair or tragedy. You need to learn to respect that and move on.”

Celty, displaying her anger towards Izaya, revved her motorcycle upwards causing several people to look in worry and walk away to avoid getting hit. Izaya stood unamused with his smug grin as he watched Celty chase after the couple to take them to Shinra. 

“ Celty, it’s a shame. All humans will experience despair no matter what, even our darling (Y/N). It’s just how long will it take for her to fall into despair that’s the real game and who the one pulling the strings will be.” 

Izaya began to walk away only to stop at Russia sushi and was quite intrigued by the photo that was taken. As he began to examine the image he saw (Y/N) smiling with tears rolling down her eyes as she turned to the camera holding the ring Shizuo had given her. On top of that, he saw Shizuo, quite red ready to punch Simon for taking the picture. 

“ Well well, seems she was telling the truth. I guess he didn’t screw it up.” 

“ Izaya, I heard about what happened.” 

As Izaya turned he was met with Simon the dark-skinned Russian who began to speak in his native tongue signaling that this was a private conversation. 

“ Simon, how’s it been?” 

“ Don’t ruin it.” 

“ Ruin what Simon?” 

“ Shizuo and (Y/N) found happiness here so don’t ruin it.” 

“ Oh? What makes you say that?” 

“ (Y/N) is special, the unpredictable happens around her but that doesn’t mean you should ruin what they have for the sake of your entertainment.” 

“ Special huh?” 

“ You like her don’t you? Leave her with Shizuo, she is not meant for you.” 

“ You see Simon, you’re right she is special but she isn’t Shizuo’s. I believe her to be one of the few people who aren’t on this playing field. She, like all humans, belongs to me. I won’t let Shizu-chan, Celty, or even that damn Saika blade have her.” 

“ Izaya, I know you don’t like losing to Shizuo but that does not mean you have to ruin this relationship. For once, let it go.” 

“ It’s Shizuo who needs to let her go.” 

With that Izaya left the place before walking away thinking about the girl. Since he met her years ago he realized how forgiving and optimistic she truly was. It shocked him, every human he met would be the same and oh so predictable. Shizu-chan and Simon would be the unpredictable ones spicing up his entertainment but (Y/N)? She was the most unpredictable one of them all. She took both sides of an argument and attempted to find a solution and she would keep Shizuo in check something that no one could do. On top of that, (Y/N) forgave anyone and you could never guess what she would say next, but her actions were always surprising. As he entered his workplace he was met with Namie Yagiri who looked at him in disbelief. 

“ It’s late where have you been?” 

“ Ah, Namie I was out with Celty and (Y/N) (L/N).” 

“ (Y/N) (L/N)?” 

“ Shizuo Heiwajima’s girlfriend, well fiance but not for long.” 

“ What do you mean, not for long?” 

“ Well you see, I intend to steal her away.” 

“ You never seem to bother with people’s love lives anyways. Why now?” 

“ (Y/N) (L/N) is a fascinating human! Here on this board, Shizu-Chan is the king and (Y/N (L/N) would be his queen, but the queen is one of the few people with free-range movement, in other words, the most powerful piece, nonetheless all are useful but the queen is the one who defends her king. If the queen is removed you’re pretty much set to fail and the king is left weak and ready to be dethroned. So, Shizu-chan is only strong with his queen, but this fascinating human being should be next to me, her God!” 

“ So you want to use her-!?” 

“ No! You’re not getting the picture! I am going to take the queen and leave her next to her god’s side! ME! With Shizu-chan weak I’ll simply kill him and fully take (Y/N) (L/N) as mine!” 

“ I thought Shizuo provided you with the most entertainment. . .” 

“ (Y/N) makes up for both of them, I don’t need Shizuo when I have his queen. . .” 

~~ 

“ Shizuo! Wait!” 

Shizuo was walking faster while dragging (Y/N) behind him as they proceeded to go to their house after staying at Shinra’s. 

“ What for?” 

“ I’m sorry for embarrassing you in front of Izaya. . .” 

“ I’m fine, as long as it was you I didn’t mind.” 

“ You sure?” 

“ Of course, now let’s go home. I’m tired.” 

‘“O-Okay!” 

As they entered the home in which they both own Shizuo immediately grabbed (Y/N) as he held her close before asking her yet again, “ Do you love me?” 

“ Of course silly! I wouldn’t marry someone I don’t love! I love you to the moon and back Shizuo and I wouldn’t change that for the world! No one and nothing would ever split us apart Shizuo! You accepted me for who I am, now it’s time you realize that I accept you for you!” 

Cuddling closer with the (h/c) hair colored female he blurted out something that made her turn red upon hearing it. 

“ I want a baby.” 

“ A WHAT?!” 

“ A baby. I hope to be able to be a father once we wed.” 

“ W-w-w-w-what g-g-g-gave you that idea?!” 

“ We are both at a young age, once we marry I feel like we should have a child. I won’t rush or force you but I think we would be great parents.” 

“I...OKAY! Of course! After we marry, we can have as many children as we can!” 

“ W-Wait you serious?!” 

“ Of course Shizuo, because I love you to bits! Just like I will love this child, I'll make sure you both know how special you are to me!” 

“ I do wonder how I found someone like you (Y/N). . . I love you!” 

“ I love you too Shizuo!” 

As they both fell asleep in a lovers embrace Shizuo was reminded of how much (Y/N) loves him and was also reminded that she will never leave him. Izaya was wrong, (Y/N) loves him for himself and as Shizuo sighed in relief as he cuddled closer to the female, not being feared, but being loved was a great feeling, the best in the world. 

~~ 

“ Now. . . what should I make for dinner? I should make Shizuo’s favorite meal, but that means that I need to go shopping. Oh well.” 

(Y/N) pulled out her phone before sending Shizuo a quick text saying how she would be stepping out and would be home soon. After getting an, ‘alright. Be safe.’ text she immediately set out to the store. As (Y/N) was searching through the ingredients she came across a hand reaching for the same one, the last one. 

“ Oh, I’m sorry! You can take it!” 

“ No, no that fine! By all means, take it.” 

“ Izaya... .?’ 

“ Ah! (Y/N)! Isn’t that wonderful? I wanted to speak to you!” 

“ Same! Just let me finish shopping and I’ll go with you!” 

“ Here! I’ll help, by the way! Feel free to take it, I don’t need that ingredient as much as you do.” 

“ Thanks! Are you sure you don’t want it though, I’m making a meal for Shizuo but I can always go to other stores! If you want it you should take it! On the bright side, I can get my daily walk in by going to other stores and I might be able to browse through other items I may need!” 

“ Oh? A meal for Shizu-chan? Then, by all means, take it. I wouldn’t want to make him upset.” 

“ Thank you Izaya! You really care for him!” 

“ Well, I wouldn’t say that. .  . “

“ Well, we should get going! I think I got everything I needed!” 

Walking to the park in silence was a little awkward until (Y/N) lit up at the sight of ice cream. 

“ Hey Izaya, look it’s an ice cream truck! Do you want some? My treat!” 

“ Actually, it will be mine! Which one do you want (Y/N)?” 

“ (F/F) please!” 

“ Of course!” 

Upon getting the ice cream ( Y/N) desired and Izaya getting one for himself they decided to sit on a bench and she continued speaking with Izaya. 

“ Izaya, I have a question.” 

“What is it (Y/N)?” 

“ Well, why do you like edging Shizuo on? You know he is trying his hardest to change, wait, is it to push him? To see how much he needs to improve left?” 

“ You really are optimistic aren’t you? Not exactly, you see Shizuo tends to act differently from the rest. . . he truly is unpredictable so I just want to see every possible reaction from him. Just like you?” 

“ Me? I hardly think I'm unpredictable, I feel like you could read me easily.” 

“ You can’t and that’s the best part. I truly love all humans (Y/N), they are just so interesting! In the end, they all act the same yet it’s so exciting!” 

“ Interesting. You like the unpredictable more though right! I do too! It’s like a book, if you can predict the way it ends then it isn’t all the fun. However, if the book ends with a plot twist and catches you by surprise then it is fun! Every new day, every new day is something different for me! I feel like, when you look at a new angle you end up seeing things you’ve never seen. This could easily impact what you think or what you do! That’s what I try to do to make my day more interesting!” 

Izaya looking at her with insanity swirling his eyes grabbed her hands causing her ice cream to fall before laughing. 

“ You understand me! You see what I see! You truly do deserve to be next to your god's side! Tell me (Y/N), you’re very forgiving, aren’t you! Every god needs to judge and punish the sinners, BUT THEY ALSO NEED TO FORGIVE! THAT MY GODDESS IS WHERE YOU COME IN! WITH YOU BY MY SIDE, WE COULD TRULY RULE OVER THESE HUMANS! JUST AS I LOVE HUMANS, THEY SHOULD LOVE ME TOO! THAT INCLUDES YOU (Y/N), DO YOU LOVE ME?” 

“ I-?!” 

“ That’s enough!” 

Turning to Celty who began to write furiously fast on her phone shoved it in front of Izaya as he skimmed the words that were written. 

‘Shizuo is on his way, leave if you don’t want your ass kicked. I told you to leave (Y/N) alone! For once, listen to me!’ 

Celty grabbed (Y/N) and led her to the motorcycle before writing on it explaining that Shizuo was around the area and was planning on picking (Y/N) up from the store. Celty mentioned that she too was around the area and that she was asked by Shizuo to help him look for her as well. Nodding, (Y/N) turned around to meet Izaya smirking, despite all she smiled at him and bowed before apologizing. 

“ I’m sorry Izaya! I hope to talk to you soon and I apologize our time was cut short. I’m happy that you told me a little about yourself Izaya as I told you I like to see both perspectives before saying or doing anything. On the bright side, although our time was cut short I realized that you trust me a little and bothered to open up a bit! So I'm glad!” 

Indeed Izaya found his Goddess, she forgave all and will forgive all. Smiling a bit he turned and wished her good-bye before plotting a plan to take her from Shizuo forever and make sure his goddess was with him all the time. Besides, even if he committed a crime, his goddess, (Y/N) (L/N) would forgive him. 

(Y/N) was riding with Celty until they found Shizuo in which he expressed his concern for the female. He examined the ingredients and smiled realizing what she was planning on doing before ruffling her hair. 

 “ I still have a little bit of work left but I'll make it home in time for dinner.” 

“ Of course! I’ll get started on dinner right away!” 

“ Alright. See you then, oh (Y/N).” 

“ Yeah?” 

“ I love you.” 

“ I love you too!” 

~~ 

Getting out of the shower, (Y/N) proceeded to dry her hair with a small towel wearing (F/C) shorts and an extremely overgrown shirt, more importantly, it was Shizuo’s bartender shirt that he allowed her to wear. It fit more like a dress but no one was complaining. 

“ I better get started on dinner, Shizuo is going to arrive any minute!” 

Proceeding to get the ingredients (Y/N) was washing the vegetables when she heard a click signaling the door was open. 

“ Shizuo I’m not done with the meal-... Shizuo... .?” 

Examining the living room she noticed that the door was opened but no one was in the room with her, that was until she heard a familiar voice from her right ear. 

“ Good evening, My goddess. . .” 

“Iza-!?” 

With that Izaya knocked out (Y/N) cradling her in his arms before making his way to him home with the young girl, his Goddess.  

~ 

“ Wake up sleeping beauty~” 

Izaya was poking her cheek repeatedly hoping for the young girl to awaken sometime soon and luckily she did. 

“ Izaya, w-where a-am I?” 

“ Why you’re in our home my goddess~” 

“O-our? Goddess? Izaya what’s going on?” 

“ You will be living with me from now on~ You see I explained it to you, I love humans my dear (Y/N), you are no exception. However, unlike all the other humans you have an interesting personality and you are quite unpredictable making each new day exciting and something to look forward to! Someone like you should be by my side ruling alongside next to me! Just as I adore humans, they should adore us, as they should!” 

“ I-Izaya I’m sorry but it’s late and I need to get to Shizuo before it gets too late-!?” 

“ You aren’t getting it! You aren’t going back to Shizuo! You belong to me! Besides, Shizuo is weak right now! I could easily get rid of him!” 

“ He isn’t! Shizuo is quite strong! I know for a fact that he can overcome anything! Now, please let me go before I-!?” 

“ You aren’t seeing the big picture (Y/N) and it saddens me. You see the queen is the strongest piece in chess. Shizu-chan is the king and you by right, are his queen. If we take the queen away, the king is set up to fail. Haven’t you realized, everyday Shizu-chan asks you if you love him and to never leave him? Coincidence I know? I always make him doubt of this reality because without you Shizu-chan would be a violent monster! Think about it, you’re the only thing that can hold him back but you aren’t by his side! Shizu-chan does not want to be feared but he thinks it’s a fantasy, someone like you being in his life that he just needs to confirm if you love him too!” 

(Y/N) gasped when she came to notice her fiance's true feelings. Feeling down, (Y/N) looked to the side to examine the board Izaya kept close to see if she could find a pattern or attempt to figure Izaya out to create a plan.   

“ In fact! I think he is worried sick trying to find you, but he won’t! Even if he does, he doesn’t have the right to take my Goddess away!” 

In the meantime, Shizuo was frantically searching for where (Y/N) could be. When he arrived home he came to see the door open and no sign of (Y/N) causing his anxiety to spike up at the thought of losing you forever. Having enough he texted Celty and even the dollars home page alerting all members to keep an eye out on a female with (H/C) and (E/C) as she could be in danger. 

“ Celty! Have you found her yet?” 

“ No.... but I think I know where she is. I hope she isn’t though. . . “ 

“ Spit it out! WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?!” 

Shizuo was running out of breath as he looked at Celty with desperation as he saw her type away with incredible speed, but the answer both shook him and angered him to the point of no return. 

“ I think she is with Izaya. If so, we must hurry!” 

“ Of course! Leave this to me. . . I think it’s time that bastard met with his fate.” 

Shizuo walked away with anger as he began to prepare his fist to execute the man who stole his fiance.

IZAYA ENDING w/SMUT

SHIZUO ENDING

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

So I’m on a bit of a fanfiction kick.. which has not really happened in like a little over a year, I think I had to grieve lovesick ending and suchhh + dealing with some blocks that prohibited me from reading - BUT

I literally remembered ur fic “the last first” today - because I realize I’m feeling a lot of similar things Lance struggled with in that fic *coughs in sexual frustration* but anyway, I re-read it and I realized how much I missed your fucking writing bro, you literally write like no other, and god it made me so happy

And then I decided to read a few parts in lovesick - like lance coming out to vero, then luis, then marco.. then cari then julio… then parent meet up and then I went to read the poem again (if u cant tell i was going for the scenes that were gonna WRECK me) but GOD MY HEART I FORGOT HOW GOOD IT WAS TO HAVE MY HEART BATTERED IN A GOOD WAY the fuckin rush it gives me goddam - but i think I’ve reached a point where I want to re-read the whole thing and I literally cant wait

MFMCJDJCJDJJR I'm so honored that my writing elicited this reaction 😭

Like to not only make it hard to read things but to bring you back to it all over again once the block lifted 🥰🥰

You've always been one of the biggest supporters of my writing, so I'm happy you can come back to it. I've been missing the lovesick/klance era too (I was debating doing a lance version of the one where he gets engaged post vld)

Of course I hope you enjoy Lovesick as much as you did the first time around♡♡♡♡♡

[fireemblems24]

VW Chapter 19

Onto Verdant Wind now, in what I suspect will look suspiciously like SS's chapter.

Spoilers for up to Chapter 19 for all routes except SS (ch 18) possibly below.

Pre-Battle

So I'm betting this is the "defeat Hubert" chapter? But the question is, for real this time or no?

Yep, you're fighting the Death Knight and Hubert . . . again . . . Who's left after this, just Edelgard?

LAMO, funny how Claude opens nearly the exact same way Seteth did.

Oh, I get to ask about the citizens this time? Picking that answer 100%. The vibe is so different from CF where invading is an exciting thing. At least for Caspar. Maybe I'm misremembering others.

You know what? That would be an interesting post if I ever had the time for it. To go through the script somewhere and list every time citizens/commoners are mentioned throughout the game and just see if different routes vibe differently.

YIKES - Edelgard's using her citizens as a shield to protect her? That's . . . that's something. I guess she's living up to her claim during that Lonato chapter.

I still hope we find Rhea again though. I'm super curious to hear her story.

Battle

When Claude says - no route enemy, target enemy commanders - I ignore him.

So . . . Byleth wolloped the Death Knight for most of his HP and he only had like 16 left. And I wanted to give him the most lolz death possible, so I had . . . Marianne . . . kill him - with an iron lance. Frozen Lance FTW.

Having Claude attack Hubert for that sweet, sweet unique dialogue.

LAMO he called Hubert a lapdog. Hubert tried to be edgy, and Claude was just having none of it.

But why does Hubert give you a Goddess Icon when he dies? That will never not be funny to me.

Post-Battle

DEDUE. What a way to return to the game after a two week separation than to see my lovely Dedue again.

Except this is VW Dedue and Dimitri is dead, and he's just living for vengeance now, which Dimitri would hate.

Ok, so is there any fanfics out there of a post-Grondor VW or SS Dedue meeting ghost Dimitri or something? I think I want that pain. Those two seeing each other again, Dedue realizing Dimitri's still dead, Dimitri blaming himself for Dedue living for vengeance and nothing else, and then Dimitri fades away again before either get to confess their feelings.

On second thought. I don't want that fic. I want AM back. Or a VW fic where Dimitri survives and reunites with Dedue for real.

Dedue the real MVP, and now he's off on his own. What happens to Dedue after this? Do you ever see him again?

LAMO. Claude wants a new ruling system too. Edelgard really never bothered talking to him, hunh.

No. Claude. No. We do NOT need one powerful ruler leading all of Fodlan. Divide the power, don't centralize it. One all-powerful ruler is a horrible, horrible idea.

I'm totally picking "I should be that ruler." Because it makes no sense whatsoever, because who wants to put a rando mercenary on the throne? Claude's probably the right pick, but I can't resist.

Claude was upset with me lamo.

It better not be Byleth in charge at the end. Oh, God, please don't tell me all the routes don't end with an all-powerful Byleth ruling everything while Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude just roll over.

Pre-Battle

These chapter pictures are kinda cool looking. They remind me of folk art or what you'd see in an illustrated book on Nordic mythology. I like it.

Oh, no, it's that same lame response from Byleth about not wanting to kill Edelgard. But why though? Byleth doesn't even KNOW Edelgard here?

I hope Claude gets annoyed with me for whining about some girl I talked to like twice who's currently destroying the continent. I hope this trite doesn't show up in AM too. It made sense for SS, but VW?????

That's fair from Claude. Sure, we won't kill if we don't have to, but she has to be willing to work with someone else which doesn't seem like her strong suite.

Time to go kill Edelgard again. I hope I can keep Dedue alive this time too. Last time was easier because my units are better. I could just send Sylvain and Ferdinand anywhere, surrounded by enemies, and they don't care. This group, not so much :(

Battle

Claude just called Edelgard our "bashful little Emperor." She'd be livid.

The plan is to get Felix to kill Edelgard to get vengeance for Dimitri. The problem is that Felix is a dancer and doesn't have a lot of strength. Let's see if he can pull this off.

But first, Edelgard and Claude dialogue.

Lol, Claude promising to finish the job for Claude. I'm liking his more laid back tone more than I did before.

Edelgard really refuses to work with Claude, hunh. He asked her twice now, she even acknowledged that Claude's after the same thing but still refuses to work with him because he got a C in history class I guess.

It's funny hearing Edelgard tell someone they lack self awareness.

No unique dialogue for Felix and Edelgard though :(

So, this is how it went down in my head. Felix kept quiet and standoffish, not bothering to know the Golden Deer better, just staying in the training room day and night, focusing on nothing but the blade. But then he never used it on the battlefield and only danced, never really seeing combat. So when they were storming the castle and seeing Felix advance towards the throne room, they all expected he'd dance. But he walks by Claude, walks by the rest and advances on Edelgard, saying he'll cut through, not even realizing that's what Dimitri used to say. But Claude remembers. And he watches Felix's cold eyes and a single-minded focus on taking Edelgard down. And he does.

Then Felix leaves without saying a word, exchanging one quick, understanding glance with Dedue, who always knew that, despite their very different ways of going about it, that they were the two who loved Dimitri the most.

Ok, I'm finished now. Someone take this keyboard away from me. I haven't gotten to write in two weeks now.

Post Battle

Wait, this is the same cut scene??? Why the fuck is Edelgard calling Byleth her teacher? I don't even know her?

This scene makes no sense here. It was good in SS, but wtf Edelgard, why are you so hung up on Byleth when you don't even know them?? God, I'm not looking forward to seeing this again in AM.

Edelgard really be a simp, hunh.

So how confused was everyone that played VW or AM first and saw Edelgard, who you don't know at all, get all weepy over Byleth for no real reason?

Leonie MVP. Not surprised, girl put in the work.

No, we beat her because of Felix, not because of Byleth. Byleth was on chest duty.

Oh, the letter is here too. This really is the exact same as SS again. Poor Claude. He really deserved better. Dedue and Hubert have bigger roles in VW than Claude does for crying out loud.

If it's the same group as Monica and Tomas, I'm not that worried about them. They weren't exactly . . . threatening.

Rhea, though, she's back!

Oh, at least this is a bit different with him asking about the children of the goddess. He could wait a second and let poor Rhea step outside in the sunlight again first though.

So the guy named Nemesis wasn't a hero after all. I'm shocked. Totally shocked I tell you.

Can I take a wild guess that Rhea, Flayn, and Seteth are "the children of the Goddess?" And the Goddess is Sothis obviously. That's why they wanted Flayn's blood, because it's fancy blood.

Claude's a globalist lol. Hey, at least he acknowledged Duscur - unlike someone . . .

Next Chapter

Shamballa sounds like a place in Fullmetal Alchemist

At least they addressed why they never bombed the monastery.

Still doesn't explain why they haven't dropped one on Dimitri yet though.

Rhea is coming!!! I know I won't get to use her as a unit though :(

This is still the exact same as SS though :(

[docholligay]

Writing Survivors and WINNNERSSSSSSS

This was an EXCEEDINGLY simple question, because sometimes Holligays deserve to get their ego stroked. As a treat! : Which of my fics is your favorite? 

the two that immediately spring to mind (aside from your friday nov 13 fluff about which i've already furiously emailed you) are roughly recalled as follows: 1) usagi invites rei out for ramen to pitch her new goal of becoming a food critic. she uses the word "zesty" to describe her meal, and i feel the precise blend of exasperated, protective adoration you describe coursing through rei. i also recall the descriptions of the setting being quite vivid, as well as coloured so well by the shifting emotional landscape of our pov character. 2) haruka is sad at a fancy event, and slips out to wallow (most sympathetically, of course). ah, but how vague! possibly an au...certainly it is cold outside? she may not be wearing more than a jacket, which i believe she may offer to usagi, who comes looking for her. the details are fuzzy, but i was so struck by your use of the word "bright" in this piece that i've thought of this fic roughly every other time i've read the word "bright" since. oh, and who could forget "we know the devil?" but i've said quite a bit about that one already, and the deadline fast approaches (i think)! TOO BAD ---- @rasiqra-revulva Oh my god I forgot that Usaig and Haruka one!!!! 

I can't remember the titles of them now, but two of my absolute favorites that you've written are the 'Imaginary Friend' one with Haruka with the ghost Michiru and 'In the walls'. Both of them deal with haunted houses, and both characters deal with them in very different ways. And that is probably why I like them both so very much. Neither of them has a 'happy' ending (although Haruka might just make it out of hers with a bit of luck) and that lack of a happy ending comes from the weakness of each character. In addition, both stories are tremendously creepy. I think about both quite a bit when I'm noodling around with horror writing. ---@shavedjudomonkey Thank you! I LOVED imaginary friends, I’m not sure I’ve ever done better.

A Stopped Clock? i am bad with titles but the one after one of the OW character reveals where Tracer had her stabilizer broken! I sponsored that one and *did not* expect to get so much out of it and the prose throughout is so good, so vivid and effective, how dare you be so good at making me care about these characters when the actual writers don't, 1000000/10 would sponsor again --- @katrani  There are parts of A Stopped Clock that are some of my FAVORITE writing. Man, I feel like this year I haven’tdone anything with tht sort of quality, but thank you!! 

An Unwanted Favor, most definitely. First off, I love the title, partially for how its meaning is only really conveyed once the twist hits, but also for how succinctly it sums up the difficult place Mina finds herself in: on the receiving end of something done as a kindness, with no say in the matter. Haruka's decision is somehow both selfless and selfish, and yet we know from her message and how she's portrayed, that even if it was a bit hurtful, it was truly done with only the best of intentions. Mina's hurt, and she can't even yell about it, and probably actually feels a little bit guilty about wanting to in the first place. It's a very tricky emotional position to be in, and it's even harder to convey in writing.

 I love too, how your strong your characterizations are of the senshi. I know I'm an outlier among your followers, but I'm really only familiar with Sailor Moon in the most basic of ways. I watched about a season and a half of the dub and played the SHIT out of Drops, but that's about it, outside of your (and Jet's) fics. But, as with the people who love your Overwatch fanfics despite never playing a moment of the game, I often find myself really enjoying the senshi purely through your loving depictions of them. I especially love the description of Rei's prodding at Mina as lancing a boil (emotional healthcare through minor emotional violence), especially the bit where the words come out before she's done formulating them (deeply relatable).

 And, this is maybe overreaching a bit, but there's one line that I always read a lot of significance into. Sometimes when I write things, I find that there's certain lines that are like keystones for me, that I'll structure entire paragraphs around. Sometimes it's because they explain things so well that the work falls apart without them, or sometimes it's just that I think they're really clever, or have great rhythm, and drive things along nicely. But my favorite keystones are the ones that, in literary terms,  "fuck me up real bad". It's when I write something that hits ME like a ton of bricks right after I've written it, usually cause it's brutally sad, and I know that even if nobody reads the thing, or has that same reaction to it, sometime in the future I'll come back and read it and go "that's some real shit right there." 

 All that just to say, that "maybe this is my reward for doing okay. I get to be with her again" always hits me like one of those lines. I read that, and it fucks me up, and on some level I imagine you writing that line back then and going "aw hell yeah" to yourself, in one of those moments one really only gets when you're totally on your game, and it makes me smile. Maybe I'm wrong! But I'd prefer not to know, if that's the case. We all have our headcanons, and that one's mine. ---- @blastoise_m  Oh my god thank you so much!! I’m so glad you loved it so much, it’s been so long since I even thought about it and this made me smile so much! 

CURRENT "Endings and Beginnings" in the MAS-verse - so many of your MAS stories are rich with emotion and pain and reality and *life* intertwined in such amazing combinations, but I first read this one at a time when I was grieving an old loss turned fresh, at a time when I needed it, and always, to this day, it makes me cry happy tears. I love it - how even grief can turn into something beautiful, and my world would be a much sadder place without this particular, spectacular story. --- @amberlilly

AND YOU DID NOT LEAVE A NAME SO YOUR ENTRY WAS TOSSED BECAUSE I CAN’T VERIFY YOUUUUUU -- ALL OF THEM but especially Ruka Hood, for being both EXTREMELY fun and for just how good the characters are and how you explore them, and A Simple Game (I think?? The senshi civil war one) because the scene where Michiru drowns her entire family in the aquarium is SO GOOD, and finally St. Ralph bc I’m a repressed catholic gay to the end

Randomized survivors under the cut!

Holligay Answers For Her Crimes

Holligay Loves Food (questions/prompts sent in)

Holligay Screams About Her Favorite Characters (any media)

Nonfiction/Personal writing (prompts sent in, however vague or specific)

Holligay Rants/Raves About (positive or negative, prompts sent in)

Holligay History posts (Y'all will have to actually send in questions/prompts, mind)

Outline for a more satisfying final season of She Ra Holligay style / HBO style

[smolbeandrabbles]

Killian: A (Messy) Character Review - Spies in Disguise

I’ve seen this twice and have two sets of notes for this man, so I guess... Off we go! Under cut for spoilers-!

Note: Some of this is just personal headcanon too...

Before we get started on the movie itself - the decision to keep Ben’s natural accent 👌👌👌 thank you!

I’m gonna go ahead and say it - but the way Killian is built? Those legs? Hot damn. I’m crushing on someone cool, hot, and animated again-!

So. The part where he catches the sleep dart and pings it right back? Boi got reflexes 👌🙏

Assume whole left arm is gone due to wave of electricity once electrocuted, but it didn’t mess with the tech on his face / neck???

Speaking of the tech on his face... It’s not painful for him to project his own face over all that... (I mean he doesn’t seem in pain changing it when he shows Lance) but when we see him transform into Lance in his helicopter he seems in pain - at least that’s the sound he makes...? What’s that about? It only happens that once.

Into linguistics?? / Can speak many languages?? - You can’t take the Japanese away from me! (Also Ben speaking Japanese for like. One sentence. Gimmie gimmie gimmie-!!) 

That very first slo-mo look back and smile in the helicopter- aw dang-!

The blue shirt. That is all.

Plz take me to the Playa del Carman resort Killian, thank you Man, I feel a fic coming

EVERYTHING about the breadcrumb Venice scene. Fucccck he’s SO pretty.

The head tip, even if it’s blurry, when he’s walking towards Walter. I just wanted to call it out. Before I call everything about that scene out. I love it. 🤩😍

Are his eyes blue? Green?! Blue/green solves my problems there I suppose!

His eyes are always blue except the Venice scene where they have a green element to them - I took this and ran. (Maybe it was just the light but you can’t take it from me.)

The “You promised you’d let me go!” Scene is just iconic 

Clearly Boi likes a good sea view... or just a good view - That’s ALSO one of my favourite moments, when he opens that window for the first time.

“You took everything from me.” /  “Since when does your agency care about destroying lives” (Paraphrased) - Look that boy lost family and people he loved you can’t tell me otherwise. The connotations behind that sentence are so tragic, it suggests more than just a bunch of people he worked with.

Sexiest way to open a bottle of champagne ever? I think so.

I’m still trying to figure it out where the hell the champagne came from!? Venice!? Do the facility just have it chilling—!?

Ben’s little raspy giggly laugh coming from Killian is perfect

The drones seem slow AF, Killian, it takes like 24 hours for them to get to DC to do their thing... come on Boi. (Wait. Is that sunset - night - sunrise? Instead of Sunset/Sunset)

He’s so fucking pretty don’t even. SO pretty. All his close ups. S O P R E T T Y

When Killian just says in the most exasperated tone “you brought your own soundtrack!?” I died laughing  

His face at the end. Where they are like “oh! He saved his life!” Like that face of realisation-!? My baby!

Please for the love of god someone cap / gif the “You said you would let me go” and Venice “breadcrumbs” scenes. 🙏🙏🙏

Single gripe: I have zero idea where Tristan McFord came from. It’s still a cooler name... but in the end that didn’t even matter because no one said his name!!

I’m not sure he’s in it enough to really warrant it, but he’s shot to a place in my top 5 favourite Mendos.

My friend: He reminds me a lot of Nolan Sorrento. Me: Oh. That’ll be it.

9.5/10 Mendos. I love him. 💙

[riskeith]

HIIII hope you have been well my dearest last airbender hehe. i have so much exciting things to share <333

so first off, i did two wish rolls the other night and guess what? on one roll i got BOTH bennett AND qiqi!!!!!! (the other one was just weapons but 🤷🏽‍♀️) i love them both so much i literally ascended them the second i got them. i still can’t believe my luck. so now my team looks like: traveller, noelle and those two. i’m having a little issue bc i don’t have a long range combat character but i love them all too much to change anything. which means i struggle sometimes maybe if i roll for someone else in the future i might change but rn i’m LOVING them. have you ever had luck like that?

AND i started watching haikyuu again and i forgot how funny it is. i usually don’t laugh out loud while watching things but i was literally chuckling while watching some moments. i’ve only watched 10 eps-ish but i fell in love with it again at the first ep already. i cant believe i dropped it before i’m so stupid.

ok that’s all the updates i had hahaha ! i was like buzzing waiting to tell you lmaidhdhdbd 🥺

oikawa is SO pretty it’s insane. when he showed up i was like yeah.... that’s him. that’s the pretty boy. but then again pretty much everyone is pretty in haikyuu who the hell are we supposed to focus on hehdhd the art style is just that good yk?

ships that have silent (+ points for angry) yearning are just superior. and usually they fall in the enemies/rivals category which is lovely. nothing is finer than watching people struggle with their feelings like mmmmmm... tasty. also as good as rareships can be, popular ships are popular for a reason yk? like canon content isn’t everything ofc but if canon can back it up in some way more people tend to be interested heh

wanna know something super weird? when i consume content i always fall for the stotic bois with angst backstories first but after i finish the shows i always miss the cute happy babies and that makes me obsessed with them? idk it’s crazy like voltron for example keith is literally my favorite character of all time but when i finished voltron i was literally bawling bc i missed lance so much help

well i guess we’re talking about voltron now HAHA 😭 dude s3 was a fucking blessing i can’t believe we got that and they just cut it off cold. the leader and his right hand man dynamic makes me yell to this day 😭😭😭 remember all the scenes where they continuesly reassured each other 😭 the ‘leave the math to pudge’ scene lives in my head rent free no joke dhdnhdbdud... s3 was just them loving each other tenderly and dw stole it from us.. ALSO PLEASE WRITE THEM AGAIN LITERALLY BEGGING 😭 pls 🥺

dude our government doesn’t give a shit we literally have politics traveling around and chilling without masks. they don’t care at all we barely have any restrictions so people don’t care either. it’s a mess here ngl.. :/

can’t wait to hear from u again... mwah!

hi hi!!!! is this gonna end up being 2 replies in one day for you again HAHAHA i’ll try not to disappear after

!!!!!!!!!! QIQI AND BENNETT??!!?!!!!!!!! oh my goodness… oh my goodness!!! i can’t believe you got a 5 star before me fjskskkdd but big deserve 😭😭😭😩😩😩 i’m so happy for you nejdnskamxlxmm holy shit!!!!! that’s so cute tho that’s such a cute team… and big mood!! who cares about team dynamics/fighting styles all that matters is that you like them 😩 but also does that mean you currently have 3 sword users and 1 claymore on your team jdjsndnsm. i also used to not have a ranged fighter on my team but it just got so inconvenient lolol. and no my luck is actual ass :( so often i only roll weapons, and when i do roll charas it’s like. all the base free ones djdkskdk

haikyuu is SO funny!!! everyone’s humour is so >>>> omg they’re just silly boys… are you restarting it from the very first ep? and it’s all good if you dropped it before bc you’re coming back to it now and that’s what matters 😩 keep me updated tho! i’m so excited to hear what you think

HFJDNSKSN sorry i went mia and made you wait chksjs WHICH REMINDS ME!! omg i’ve been meaning to tell you and keep forgetting but i downloaded genshin on my phone last week for my trip and it’s so??? difficult? like mad mad respect to you for being able to play on mobile omg… maybe it’s just bc i was used to pc already but damn.. djsjjs

HAHA yeah just admiring the visuals instead of focusing on the story.. we’ve all been there 😩 sometimes you just gotta rewind and take 48394993 screenshots of the one scene you know? who let them be so gorgeous..

yesssss the mutual oblivious pining is so good.. like they’re enemies to lovers but they’re also IDIOTS to lovers… or my fave headcanon which hurts so bad… the one person (keith) pining for their rival (lance) but it’s unrequited and they’ve just accepted that and are kinda resigned to it but. they just want them to be happy above all else :’) :’(

and honestly you are so right like if the popular ship are foils and have all these parallels between them and a deep backstory and stuff that’s so good too there’s so much food AHAH

omg that’s kinda cute tho.. like once you’re done you enter the honeymoon phase w bubbly outgoing charas.. (speaking of honeymoons when’s ours 🤪) speaking of lance he deserved everything lmao.. he deserves everything PRESENT TENSE!!! wow we are really talking about vld in 2021 huh

LEAVE THE MATH TO PIDGE!!! I AM SCREAMING JUST THIBKING ABLIT THIS TOO!! WHAT THE FUCK DOCYOUCMEAN KEITH. WHY DIDNYOUCSAY IT WITH THAT SMILE. LANCE WHY DIDNYOU SMILE LIKE THAT IN RETURN. LEAVE THE MATH TO- KEITH EXPLAIN??? WHA WERE YOU WDOIDJGNDKDNSKFKDKFNDNNCMS the way that lance went from ‘despising’ keith and hating being beaten by him in everything to SEEKING OUT HIS ADVICE AND COMFORT???? IF THAT ISNT GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS like their relationship progressed so so so so so so so so SO much in that one single season… like. i cannot BELIEVE that was real???? no fucking way. like. we were literally so close.. SO FUCKING CLOSE!!!!!!!! my god the trust they had in each other..… LANCE SEEKING KEITH OUT!!! lance accepting keith as the leader before even keith accepted himself EVEN WHEN LANCE HIMSELF SO DESPARATELY WANTED TO BE THE BLACK PALADIN bUT RECOGNISING IT WASNT WHAT THE BLACK LION WANTED AND i have to stop or else i’ll literally never stop typing chskdkdkndcuksncjxjskcoskosnaksj

hhhhhhh i wanna write them sometimes i get hit with the feels SO SO BAD (like just then? LOL) but i haven’t properly written them in so long i feel like i don’t even know how to anymore D; but anyway do you have any prompts? i have so many wips (i have one fic that i said was gonna be my Final klance fic but lmao i’m never gonna finish it at this stage so i guess i’m also not done writing klance? lmao) but after a while i just. have no desire to go back to them anymore fjdjjx so something new might spark my motivation! but also no promises sorry i always say i’ll do shit but never do JEKSKS altho i will try!! i’ll try bust out at least a drabble even if it ends up as an unfinished wip as well lol 😩

oh fucking rip that’s so horrible i’m so sorry you have to deal with that :((( legit it’s so upsetting to see so many governments just. complacent and not caring about this issue at all like?? this is your job? you’re literally meant to be doing all these things to help us right now and you’re just not. which i guess unfortunately also makes sense bc they’re the ones who would suffer least. it’s so frustrating lmaoooo >:(

:***** i’ve stayed up again bc i am Not intelligent fjskdk but i’m looking forward to your response!! goodnight and sweet dreamssss (for when you next sleep LOL) 💗😘

[peg-legz4]

peggy's klance fic rec :)

this is my first fic rec and i know its really sloppy but one of my friends said she wanted it do I an forced to post it after procrastinating finishing it for a month. enjoy!

Best Friends to Lovers

Hearts Don't Break Around Here - klancekorner

AHHHHH okay okay okay this is the first klance fic i ever read and it set the bar soooo high. basically keith and lance have been bestfriends since foreverrr and it jumps between flashbacks and present day where keith is realizing hes just been In love with lance for like the whole time they've known each other and lance calls him snickers and its s l o w b u r n bc they're both oblivious idiots but theyre also pining and aghhghhh AND THE WAY THEY START TO REALIZE THEIR OWN FEEELINGS IS! IM- it's super cute pls read!!!

with love - allinadayswork - 8,888  AHHHGGGGGGGs high school au! this is so cute they're both so smitten basically they're best friends but lance is also keiths secret admirer and ahhhhh!!!!!! so cute pls read i beg of you + valentines day and overprotective shiro!!!!

 Your Smile Makes Me Awkward - Lancelee (ashleeforreal) - 8,791

another best friends to lovers (hehe) lance gets his braces taken off and keith is in a gay panic because lance looks hot and he doesnt know what to do and theres miscommunication but its all good in the end this was so cute

One Heart Missing - starlightment - 24021 HSWOQSJKNQJNIU BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS AU IM A SUCKER FOR THESEEE they’re in college and keith finds out he loves lance nd then they have a fwb thing going on and ppor keith but also poor lance for reasons i can’t disclose anD THE REOCCURRING THEME WITH THE ICE SKATING ITS SO CUTE AND DEHQIJOjqsk please just read it oh my god 

Soulmate AU

between two points - Alltheroads - 20,589 red string of fate au!!!!!!! keith is one of the few people in the world who can actually see the strings though, and lance seems not to have a string, just like keith. its them falling for eachother and keith teaching him how to repair a motorcycle and 50′s themed diners its amazingggg

Tell Me It’s My Name Written In Your Skin - Ivnars - 15,636 soulmate au where the name of your soulmate appears on your wrist once you fall in love with them (i think?) and lance thinks his is unrequited and of course he also has a martyr complex and is willing to die for the team and almost does and then omgomg i just its so great pls read

Bend It Like Soulmates - Reader115 - 23,998 HHHHHHHHhh SOCCER SOULMAtE AU AND THEYRE SO GOOD TOGETHER AND OMGOMGOMG SO MUCH PINING AND TENSION AND IT SJUST SO HAPPY AND AMAZING  IT HAS THEM BEING THE FAMOUS SOCCER SOULMATE COUPLE PLEASE READ READ READ YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SOCCER

there, nestled against his pulse - hiuthyn SHAOAMALAL ITS A SOULMATE AU I LOVE THESE HJDJSJSJSS AND ITS CANONVERSE (im pretty sure this was a one shot first and then I came back and it was a multi chapter fic and I read and it was like 1000× more amazing ajsjska) this was one of the very first klance fics i read and it’s definitely the first one that made me like gasp and scram cause oh my god,. okay basically the first and last words your soulmate says show up on your wrists and keith hides his wrists because he thinks he k words his soulmate and there’s miscommunication aND KEITH’S BACKSTORY AND IT GIVES LANCE SO MUCH DEPTH??????? and it has a really happy ending and its slowburn and angsty and pining and i’m a sucker for all those things which made this amazing!!!!!!!

College AU

i just wanna be (with you) - aknightley - 8,020 COLLEGE ROOMMATES AU LETS GOOOOOOOO there’s a lot of tension and pining and they give eachother gifts all the time i’m sOFT pls pls pls read

reasons why keith is the worst - MellodramaticLawliet - 5517 lance and keith are roommates and to cope with his hate for keith, he starts a list of why he hates keith and it just turns into a journal abt keith and lance is so oblivious and there’s also fencing tournaments which is cool hadjalkj read ittt

You Should Date Me - petalloso ahhhh lance and Keith are both freshman in college and they have little adventures and it's just super cute and fluffy ajskkasna

Canonverse

The Art of Secret Telling - jilliancares - 4,880 so to form another coalition, voltron has to form another coalition and lance has, 1, never kissed anybody and 2, has a crush on keith hehehe

a culmination of things - viscrael ahhh it's super cute and short and basically jumps around in time and they're just in looovee

instincts - godsensei lance n keith are getting their groove on when red mistakes Keith's pleasure for distress and comes crashing through the wall ajsksksmsna

i can’t help but want - aknightley  lance and Keith's lions get stranded on different islands but their comms get through so they're just talking and bonding and falling in love while they get their lions fixed akssjal so cute pls read!!!!

never saw you coming - dimpleforyourthoughts HOLY HELL OG MY FREAKINGNS JUEUSS I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH IVE READ IT LIKE 20 TIMES AND EACH TIME IM BLOWN AWAY BY HOW BEAUTIFULL ITS WRITTEND AKAK its canonverse and goes in depth with my boys and lance has a martyr complex and keitHS BACKSTORY AND LE PETIT PRINCE AND THEY WOULD DIE FOR EACHOTHER AND ALMOST DO AND IT MADE ME CRY AND GINGER THE TABBY CAT PLEASE READ OH MY GOD ITS SLOWBURN AND THEYRE BOTH S O SMITTEN AHHHH

Terminal Velocity - speaks tHE ANGSTTTTT. i'm like, a whore for angst. but basically. voltron gets captured by these alien empaths and this guy feeds off of other people's pain(???) and so he tortures lance and makes keith watch and oh my. this is so good I felt so many emotions pls read.

Keith McClain - orphan_account 🥺🥺 keith sees visions of him and lance in the future on the space whale and its v soft

In English, Please  - orphan_account this is a fic I'll always remember omg so lance flirts with Keith in spanish but pretends they're insults and he thinks Keith wont find out (he does)

how not to be a cat: 101 - jilliancares- 8,113 kEITH KEEPS  accidENTALLY TURNINg INTo A CAT aND THEN ENDS UP CUDDLING WITH LANCE I”M SOFTTT THIS FIC BROKE ME WITH ITS CUTENESS HAHIUSJK 

 moderation - Katranga - 21, 613 HSJHKJAJOIHQQ keith gets bitten by a love bug and sees lance first and then allura gets bitten and sees hunk so he just tries to act how allura acts so it doesnt give away his actual crush on lance hsjksskjs

Public Displays of Affection by hattricks lance n Keith are undercover on a mission and they see guards and they hide by making out ajkaka

the waiting game - they frick frack a lot but basically Keith and lance make eachother wait through a week without sex and only teasing sksjakak

To Bite, Or Not To Bite - jilliancares - 11,433 lance gets bitten by a vampire!!!! and he turns into one!!!! need i say more? and the way it like happens AND THEN THE WAY HIM AND KEITH DECIDE TO OMG IM THIS IS GRESR

feelings on fire i guess i'm a bad liar - melancholymango - 22679 a witch curses lance and now he can’t lie to Keith or anything having to do with Keith and its really funny i cackled sjhkah

The Loverboy Trials - PM_Writes - 20,838 THSIEIHWHIJIHJI I LOVED THIS ONE AHHHHHHH.basicaly the aliens think keith is their god of fertility and stuff so they’re like oh we need to do a ritual thing where people fight for his virginity and voltron is like oh fuck no so then lance has to compete to save keith i can’t get over it it’s- i’m softttt

Sorry, Who Are You? - sjskakaja lance and keith were childhood best friends but keith is bad with faces so when they meet at the garrison lance is really salty and keiths backstoey and the way he find out i'm- its great trust me pls

it might not be that bad - Katranga - 16,416 omg i adore this fic okay so. basically. keith doesnt know the difference between jealously and attraction because of him clinging to the closet in middle school and now hes trying to find out why his and Lance's definitions of jealousy differ and Keith's bad at feelings please readd

Everything Else

read all about it - starlightment AHAKAKAL HIGH SCHOOL AU!!!! i just read this one and it’s great!!!1 Lance is on the newspaper and writes and articles professing his love for Keith, the star quarterback that everyones in love with. it's such a good read and oh my goshh this made me throw my phone and squeal out of freaking excitement i love it so much 🥺 idk how but this made me feel as if i was living out senior year through this fic??? it was just that amazing

it's you that's haunting me - perfchan 

suuuper cute youtuber au where Keith hunts gosts and enlists lance as his cameraman. (includes a haunted mansion ballroom dance scene) and its just great oml oml i love it so so much!!! there’s also like 4 sequels so that makes it even better!!!1

Dirty Laundry - 

this is a staple and if you havent read it you're either new to the fandom or living under a rock but its a fake dating au where keith spends winter break with Lance's family and they bondddd and its great!!!! 

alright i just realized the author took it down so uhhhh

adaigo by shipstiel

lance moves in next to keith and Keith likes to play piano at the ungodly hours of the might where lance is just trying to sleep. this ones so cute!!!!!!

eyes to you wide with wonder - aknightley

an office au where Keith is shiro's secretary and lance always comes up to his desk to annoy him and they mask their affection under playful banter and lance also ends up being Keith's knight in shining armor ajskssnns it's so great!!!!

okay i know that you are not my type (still i fall) - quidhitch

ajoasbak nyma cuffs lance to a bed during a party and then leaves but then the bed turns out to be none other than....Keith's bed!! so they like talk while Lance is only in boxers and cuffed to Keith's bed

you never stood a chance - kagshina

it's a snapchat fic!!!!!!! lance accidentally snaps keith a shirtless pic and then Keith snaps back and it's just 😳😳 the whole time it's great omg

Cold Hearts Looking for Love - swang_is_trying typical enemies to lovers where lance is the son of a rich businessman and visits the orphanage that Keith hangs around to visit Pidge??? but its fricking jam packed with them thirsting over each other sshsksksm (i must warn you, its incomplete)

Of Don Juan And Elvis - shipstiel 

Keith is a starbucks barista and lance always comes in and orders with really weird names ehehe

And Now Presenting: Rielle and the Forbidden Meringue

tsbkakaK this ones so cute keith is a galra guard and hes guarding a garden (ooh alliteration) and climbs a tree and then falls into lance's arms (who's an altean guard) and its really cute sjkssahajaj

how to not keep a diary, or, lance’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad semester - glitterfreezing sjskasla they're sophmores in college and roommates pidge forces lance to keep a diary and he just ends up ranting about keith but he’ oblivious to his won feelings heheh

Lance and the Search For Keith's Boyfriend - haikquu - 9497

lance is jealous bc everyone keeps talking abt keith’s boyfriends but he doesnt know who he is (it’s him)

bus buddies - WhatTheBodyGraspsNot - 8033

lance notices Keith doesnt have a bus buddy on a 3-day-trip to save the bees so he goes and sits with him and it's so cuteeeee

got got got it bad -  kairiolette - 10,377 so keith is bad at feelings so he asks what its like to have a crush on someone and then basically tells lance that he has a crush on him and lance just casually brings it up

Only Fools Rush In (but I Can't Help Falling in Love with You) - Fangirl_on_fire_ - 13,524

OMGOMGOMG LANCE IS A MAFIA .BOSS AND IT STARTS OFF WITH A ONE NIGHT STAND AND THEN THEY AHAAKSJSKSM ITS GREAT PLS READ

The Bitter And The Sweetness - The_Real_Karaage - 66337

its a klance youtuber au!!!!!! I love these!!!!! okay so keith makes like conspiracy theory videos and knife throwing ones and lance does like vlogs or storytimes with pidge and they also do dance and then they meet irl but lance doesn't know keith is the YouTube guy cause he hides his identity and omgomggg also Keith is from Texas so he acts like a stereotypical emo cowboy and as a Texan I find it extremely funny

nobody puts baby in a corner - orphan_account - 3,950

 its like the 23rd century and aliens are on earth and keith is a royal galra and lance goes clubbing and and they meet and dance and wOOHOO 

okay thats all for now but i'm probably gonna make a part 2 cause i have a whole bunch saved to my notes app lmao have fun reading y'all

[pumpkins-s]

(1/2) Hi! I just came here from SLAOS to say that your story is so, so awesome and I saw that part of your trouble with continuing is the association with VLD. Have you ever thought about turning it into something original? It might sound daunting if you've never done that before, but it's not that bad - it's something I've done a few times (though I've never written anything as good as SLAOS!). I could even help you, if you have an outline or something?

Hey!! Thank you for this Ask--it’s always a little startling but so nice to get these occasional reminders people still read (and reread) and enjoy SLAOS. The enthusiasm for this fic has always bowled me over and even years on continues to do so.

In answer to your actual question...I’m afraid my answer might get a little complicated, so forgive me for that, but it opens the door for a lot of things I have previously and continue to think about in regards to SLAOS, and in such a direct context I can’t help but address them.

This might get a little lengthy, so for sanity’s sake, I’ve put it under a cut.

I’ve certainly thought in the past about reworking SLAOS into something original. And writing original work on its face isn’t necessarily something I’m concerned about. I’m an MFA in Writing student. I do that.

I do have concerns regarding SLAOS specifically, though, that make me very hesitant to ever consider adapting it to an original work without significant changes. These are very separate from my original problems with VLD and its fandom nightmares. It’s true that the main, original, reason I stopped working on SLAOS is because of VLD. However, since then, my reasons for not finishing this fic have changed somewhat. I’ve had enough time away from VLD that I think I am capable of going “fuck canon, my city now,” and finishing this fic purely out of love for it, my characters, and the dedicated fans it has. As I’ve always said, the utter love people have for this fic has always moved me--it has helped me heal in many ways I cannot begin to explain and further encouraged me to pursue my dreams of being an original novelist. 

So, my main issue here is not about VLD and its bullshit. There’s a number of other factors influencing my considerations on finishing this fic, such as time and what fics I should prioritize, but I wouldn’t say even any of these are a deciding factor on finishing SLAOS.

For me, it’s a question on whether it is a smart, prudent, or even ethical decision to make in finishing SLAOS. 

Let me say this: I love SLAOS. I love it with my whole heart. Lance and his family kept me company in very dark times, and a lot of it came from very personal places about my own gender struggles, family conflicts, and struggles to find places I belonged. 

But I often question as to whether I should have ever written SLAOS.

Certainly, as a 21yr old, I do not think it is a fic I would start now. But I was 17 at the time, and my perspectives and the amount of forethought I put into my work have changed. 

When I started SLAOS, I had very little plans going in. I loved Lance, I loved angst, I have a known propensity in my work for family drama and death, and I wanted to write Lance the kind of complex, perhaps sometimes tragic backstory I felt he deserved as much as, say, Keith or Pidge, who got that in canon. So, I crafted a tale about a youngest child raised largely by his sister, who is gender nonconforming and free spirited, and who then loses his sister and must learn to live in a world without her--and without his childhood innocence. He grows up, he learns when he must conform to achieve his goals and when he will stand his ground, he learns about the complications in his own family he didn’t see when he was younger, he forms new relationships and tries to work through a grief that never leaves him. 

On the surface, I don’t think any of this is bad. In fact, it sounds like a pretty good story to read or to write. Continuing on, though, the complications form. 

I’m not cuban or cuban-american, and I’m not latinx, and Lance and his family are. I am nonbinary, queer, half-jewish, and the child of immigrants, and all of that absolutely influenced the writing of SLAOS when digging into my personal and family history (even Lance being a youngest child raised primarily by an older sister was inspired by my own grandfather--who was the youngest of 10 children and was raised by his sister)--as too did my childhood in a largely-latinx area of Southern California, and the latinx friends I had and have, influence the story. A lot of it came from very real places experienced, felt, and seen--and what was pure fiction was just that. Innocent fiction written out of improvisation and love for that character.

However, in making Lance and his family less economically-stable, and similar things in the story, I perhaps inevitably wrote into stereotypes about latinx families I’m now more cognizant of. These may be stereotypes that come from many realities, and from many people I have known, but that doesn’t deny they’re stereotypes. Writing a stereotype is not inherently a bad thing, of course, but it does become more sticky when you’re not of that exact minority demographic. I didn’t write into that stereotype intentionally--my logic as best as I can remember was “I want Lance to have a complex backstory. Lance’s family is canonically big. I love big families who are emotionally close--they should all live in one house. Hm, they maybe have financial struggles”--but that doesn’t make it any less there.

I can point to other flaws in the work. The other perhaps questionable improv decision to make Lance’s father a gambler and then kill him off, even if that was pretty much just done on the logic of “oh god I don’t want to write about fathers. I have a shit relationship to my father. Fuck. Shit. I’ll kill him off there” is another sticky issue for me. Ritzie’s introduction scene has...issues, to say the least, as well. These may be scenes and plot points people don’t find issue with, haven’t considered in that light before, or even find me silly for worrying over now, but I am famously hyper-critical of my own work. I can’t help but worry and think often on how to be the best writer I can be, and with the most empathy.

There’s a lot of recent and ongoing discussion about who is allowed to write what stories. Certainly, I don’t subscribe to every opinion just because it’s been argued by someone or other--for example, I’m semi-critical of the concept that one can only write narrators and main characters of their own exact identities, particularly and especially if your work is removed from a plot or major content that deals with that identity. But being critical of some opinions does not mean that the overall thinking on “am I a good person to write this kind of story” is bad.

I don’t question that I was the only person who could have created the McClains exactly as they are in my story. They are mine, my characters, and that is intrinsic to me and who I am as a writer. But, I do question whether I was the best person to write that exact narrative, and whether I should have at least made different choices about some of the McClain’s circumstances and their world. SLAOS isn’t a story about race or wealth, but I cannot deny that those factors are present in the story, perhaps more heavily than others I have written.

In short, if I was a novelist conceptualizing this story now as an original piece of work, I do not think I would feel comfortable writing it. I would be concerned about the optics and the potential harm I could cause, to say the least. So, the only original adaption of SLAOS I can see myself ever writing would likely have to be different in many ways.

As it is, I am cautious of any original adaption or thoughts of adaption of SLAOS, at least at the moment--even if it was only released online and never published in any official manner. 

As for finishing the fanfic.. I still have remaining concerns. It is one thing to say I wrote this fic in good faith at 17, it is another to say I made the conscious decision to finish it at 21. Even if my concerns are seen as hyperbolic, I never know what the future will bring, and I don’t need the heat and I don’t need discourse. It’s in the past now. If I finish it, I make it my present. 

This isn’t me saying hands-down I will never finish SLAOS. I certainly know what I wanted to do with the rest of the fic, and I loved the ending I had planned (literally line by line planned. it was a killer ending). The readers and their pure love for this fic have always moved me and made me want to finish this story, if only for them. I’ve heard testimonials on how much this fic has helped people through dark spaces, and that means the goddamn world to me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted as a writer.

But--again momentarily setting aside my real ethical concerns about finishing this--I also have to consider what’s best for me, my career, and my own sanity. I would worry to death about the potential consequences of finishing this fic--who it may hurt, and how it could hurt me. I do not see a world where I finish this fic without modifications to several scenes, and disclaimers in my notes concerning my current adult thoughts on this story and its problems in regards to things that are too rooted in the fic to change, like Lance’s family’s economic situation. And, as of now, I just do not have the time or energy to do that. 

So. SLAOS. I love it, I hate it, I worry about it intensely. I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Will I finish it--do I want to finish it? I have no goddamn idea. It’s complicated. that’s the TLDR of this post. it’s really complicated.

Some of you may be completely boggled by my concerns addressed above, some of you may even find them silly. Some of you, for the first time, might look back on this story and see it in a less glowing light. I don’t know. You’re welcome to send me your thoughts and questions. But this is something I have been thinking about for a while and I had to get it off my chest.

Idk. Please try to understand where I’m coming from, even if you don’t agree with my concerns or the opinions being discussed among writers I’ve talked about. For me, these are incredibly real concerns, issues, and fears. 

That’s it. Loraine loves you. Stan Mavis. Peace out.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 15

welcome the the fifteenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  

1. there, nestled against his pulse by @hiuythn

stop why are you doing this to me stop it stop it stop--

klance soulmate au where your right wrist has the first words your soulmate says to you, and the left holds the last words they'll say to you. super sad, so much angst, and i've been informed it'll make you sob until you choke.

1. there, nestled against his pulse (the main story, from Keith's POV) 2. this is what love looks like: (tnahp from Lance's POV + 38k of sequel content) 3. roll credits (deleted/extra scenes and additional headcanons)

okay. i am so desperately obsessed with this fic, i was obsessed with it the first time i read it and im obsessed with it now. and yes i know i did all hiuythn fics last week and i promise i wont this week. BUT i have a set of comments associated with this fic bc it is Just That Good and so i shall present them to u now:

- literally the funniest characterization of shiro i’ve ever read. this shiro is gay and tired. this shiro unironically and frequently says “move. i’m gay” and gets away with it at the garrison. this shiro has been through A Lot and just wants to fucking retire - allura here is so so funny she’s such a badass. she’s giving “i love shiny things! like the shine of your spilled blood on the floor if you say that dumb shit one more fucking time!!” we stan a queen. - coran is a Mood. this man is desperately trying to reign in four teenagers and two young adults and just wants to go to bed and also he cares for them all so so much. ultimate dad - pidge is Mischief Personified. she is a brat and i adore her. she’s here to cause problems and by god she will succeed - hunk is so done it’s so fucking funny. “that’s literally impossible.” he’s a genius and he knows it, he’s glad to call you out on your bullshit. he doesn’t even TRY to pretend he can keep a secret and/or handle drama god what a mood - don’t even get me started on klance!! they’re so funny omg. the banter is EXQUISITE. lance and keith adore each other so much and they’re so badass. literally the coolest power couple fight scenes ever to be made, i do adore. gosh. and the ROMANCE they are so devoted to each other i’m emotional - honourable mention of lance’s legs and keith’a Soft Squishy Feelings that are mentioned so often that they’re characters. iconic. all in all, the best way to describe this series is Gay and Tired. i love it and i’m sad to see it end. i will be rereading it an embarrassing number of times. infinity/10

2. all the little things by @jilliancares

Or: 5 times Keith let Lance get away with things that he'd never let anyone else do, and 1 time Lance realized that he was, apparently, special

oblivious lance will always be funny to me. and the idea of keith just letting lance get away with Everything and Everyone knowing how whipped he is except for lance himself?? peak humour. never not funny

3. Full Disclosure by @dragonomatopoeia

Keith is impulsive and straightforward when it comes to most things, and emotions are no exception. It's no surprise, then, that when he realises that he might have developed a crush on Lance, he tries to tell him immediately. Unfortunately, it's very hard to account for both circumstance and who Lance is as a person.

Alternatively: Four Times Keith Tried to Confess and One Time Lance Actually Understood

more 2016 eliteness!! this fic is hilarious. and also its number one selling quality is that all of the characters are trans and nd i literally love that for them. nonbinary hunk loml

4. catch me, before i fall by @pastelrainbow

‘We are a good team.’

Even now, just recalling the way Lance had smiled as the words left his lips, made Keith’s heart race and his cheeks redden. Lance had never looked at him so fondly before. No boy ever had. The thought of it made a sigh escape his lips and Keith hunched his shoulders, a pout tugging his lips downwards.

Curse my weak gay heart.

-

a what if keith caught lance outside his cryo-pod.

the idea of keith being a suave casanova with more game than aphrodite herself but immediately going bright red and hissing when shiro teases him. peak dynamic. absolutely nailed siblings 

5. of demons and dates by spartona (faveour)

Three times Keith scares Lance shitless with his ghost shenanigans, and one time Lance tries to retaliate.

first of all. BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE. second of all. the  “we’ve BEEN dating u dumbass ily” trope is so funny to me. i will never get over it

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Voltron Rewritten Defender (1/8)

Also known as My Almost Raging Bitch List for this Goddamn Disastrous Disappointment of a Show

I binged all 8 seasons in under a week, so believe me when I say almost nothing was forgotten between seasons/episodes and I do tend to note that.

If it’s not obvious by the title, I’m planning an entire show AU. I am extremely open to people’s opinions on what I’m currently thinking and when I finally post this I’ll be open to criticism there too. If you would like to avoid seeing anything in regards to this feel free to blacklist #voltron_rewritten_defender because that’s what I’ll be using for this whole thing.

Enjoy, I guess.

Fair warning I am a multishipper, but for this show I leaned towards Klance, so if that bothers you that’s okay, I’m not going to be bashing any other ships (mainly just Dreamworks’ forced Allurance). If you think I missed something for any other ship lemme know! If you wanna have a ship discussion that’s cool too. The only other thing I can think of is that Allura’s attitude in S8 really stuck with me to the point that she bothered me throughout the entire rewatch (I was admittedly one of the people who thought she could be very Mary Sue ish when I first watched this) so that’ll show up now and again.

If you want to look at the Google Doc for the whole show, click the link, if not you can expand this post to see Season 1. I’ll be doing these in chunks, but as some of you know I do a FicRecList on one of my other accounts here @sorcerusdragonbionics​ so I’m gonna be alternating between that and these for the next couple days.

If you do the Google Route it’ll have you ask me for permission, this is normal and if you request it I’ll give you commenting abilities.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t30IRJonrBFh0qvs8recf3ayGoQ0rx02y0Tg1e4NTaI/edit?usp=sharing

Key

Things I kinda wanna bitch about

Things I did genuinely enjoy and like 

Rewatch Thoughts (basically what I remember from further forward and how I feel like it reflects back on earlier seasons)

Ship Talk (behold my multishipping insanity)

Things I think I’ll do in the Rewrite

Writing Notes (mainly for me or as explanation for what I’m planning)

VA and Closed Captioning Things

Other Fic Thoughts

This ended up being music commentary in S8

Season One

Problems with the Season overall:

To be honest if I hated this season I wouldn’t’ve kept watching because by the time I started S3 had just dropped

Episode 1

Here’s the deal, WHY ARE YOU SO LONG BUT SO EMPTY?!?

Yeah, nope, that’s mostly it

Fix the problem of telling instead of showing about the other Lions and remove Allura’s explanation of the Lions if possible (thank you Kross for explaining why it felt so empty- this vid is actually where I started getting the idea to actually go through with a full series AU)

DON'T RUSH THE LION INTROS

Also let the 5 introduce themselves to Allura and Coran

Also Character Drive to Complete Mission Should Be A Thing

Flesh out Paladin Personalities so that the Aris Arrival is End of Part One (making it closer to the length of E1)

Flesh out Lion intros so part 2+3 are more like full Eps without Sendak

Episode 2

75 degrees… that’s definitely in Fahrenheit, which why?

How does no one have a watch with a date on them?

“A man can be driven to do anything if a beautiful woman is just really really mean to him”

More inbetween scenes bc I can

I will accept the transformation sequence here, I’m just not going to write it

Episode 3

Please watch the use of Earth Time Slices please, because it’s confusing

I love the portrayal of PTSD in this show and I would die before I change it

Bye bye transformation sequence

Pidge’s talk with Shiro can please change

Episode 4

“I say Vol, you say Tron” will come up again if it kills me

Lance, how do you know what hotdog water and feet taste like?

I love how Coran is completely nonchalant about the fact that he’s drinking a hair tonic

Shiro, don’t bring down the mood

Goddammit Sendak, you could stay for this arc, but god I want you GONE!

Keith, having an emotion? Really?

The Pidge plot DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN LIKE THAT!

Fight me I will change it

Or minimally change the fact that their selfish motivations are revealed to BAD and should be changed

Oh yeah, let’s not give the ONE GUY with notable homesickness a character arc around that

That moment when you realize Allura is like ‘wtf is a peanut’

Allura, don’t push it, some people don’t want to talk about it

You will have something to talk about, BIOLOGY

Decryption happens here, and next attempt to find family occurs… when?

Poor Coran, if there is anyone who was more forgotten than Lance it was him

Keith isn’t wrong, but he also doesn’t know how to say it without getting mad, which mood

Just pointing out Lance is not only smart, but selfless, tell me how he’s not the main character

My inner Shance/Klance shipper is sobbing

“Bomb fuel” mentioned here, occurs… actually it’s ok

Timelines need to be a thing!

Can I make the fight scenes more intense? Yes, I write them for my YJ Scripts. Will I? Almost definitely.

Keith with that much fire your mask should be closed because smoke inhalation is bad

Can we explain Vrepit Sa before s6?

It feels like Coran forgets that 10k years have passed under an evil empire and part of me likes it, but it hurts me

Episode 5

The Katie flashback is hurts me

I want to add Gender Identity

Can we talk about how Shiro is a nickname for Takashi Shirogane?

That’s not how an EMP works

The Coran sitting on Hunk’s shoulders with a machine gun is everything

I know the back x-ray was a joke, but I still don’t like it

Rax is an idiot, just saying

Bonding Moment!!!

Episode 6

“Intergalactic time measuring competition.”

“We had a bonding moment!”

Where is Sendak’s arm?

Fight me, Pidge’s ‘gender speech’

It will be a gender speech if it kills me

Lance, why are you acting the way you are?

“I figured” and “We were supposed to think you were a boy” ARE NOT PROPER REACTIONS!

Rolo, sometimes I want to punch you in the teeth

Lance’s boner is going to get someone killed

Lance had 4sec of logic and then Nyma brings up Keith, which ofc does him in

Let’s expand on the Komar, yeah?

Quiznack means fuck and NO ONE can tell me otherwise

Keith’s ability to fly is impressive and it’s awesome

Friendly reminder that Lance acknowledged the bonding moment

Episode 7

I LOVE the laser gun sound effects!!!

I just realized that Allura has no clue what an Acronym is

We… literally just talked about this and YOU didn’t know that Shiro, I understand the point, but seriously?

LIONS are TELEPATHIC Shiro DID NOT need to say that aloud!

I do actually like the fact that Kieth gets excited before realizing what he did

FIRE and ICE PEOPLE come on! What the hell?! You barely had to try

“Yes sir?” Keith to Shiro, what?

I love them and their cute little arguments

Left vs Right, thank you Zamber

We be lovin’ Hunay bc it’s pure as hell

Thank you Shiro for validating Hunk’s concerns

You could check  a little faster, Allura

I LIVE for this scene

Was it actually Rolo?

Do they have teleporters?

Keith being weird is my favorite thing

I love good big bros who argue tradition to save their baby sis

Zarkon is a bit of a moron

THEIR LIVES ARE IN DANGER ALLURA!

They all came through different doors… how?

What if the answer was no?

I’m ok with Lance embarrassing himself when he’s cocky, some people seem to forget that

Bye transformation sequence, I explained you ONCE and that’s it

Prorock… why are you familiar?

Episode 8

I admittedly forgot that they didn’t know these things would be different

Flying fight scenes I can do, teleporting not so much

Poor Shiro he thought he had an idea and he was wrong

I love Coran’s reaction

Also NO SHIT Allura

UHHHH Pidge said that not and of the other three so how did He know?

Allura may piss me off, but I do love this speech

“Your Altean Energy”??? Coran, you’re an Altean, I’m confused.

The “Sacred Altean” thing I get, but you must be more specific cuz it makes Coran sound like he thinks he’s not a proper Altean.

Oof, angsty

Also, I  know we can’t kill Allura yet, but... 

I love that Hunk forgot they hadn’t formed Voltron

Bye bye transformation sequence

Ummm, they NEED to explain the Bayard Equip bc that’s… two very different things that occurred between Hunk and Keith’s Bayard Weapons

Why is this a scene? It’s not a dog. So, yeah, I’m with Keith here

Episode 9

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY ALLURA!

I just realized that this doesn’t come back until S..7? 8? Whatever, WAY too long

I can’t unhear “Training Dick”

Did they have homework on Altea?

Be still my Punk shipper heart

WHY is he SO pretty?!

Y’know, the glowing red eye is usually a bad sign

I could SO mean and hurt Keith here

That moment when you’re like 90% sure Shiro heard that somewhere

Not what haunted means Coran, but accurate

Why could Lance see Alfor for a second?

I too would like the answer to “where was the Red Lion?”

PTSD IS AMAZINGLY WRITTEN!

It’s a shame this is NEVER treated properly again

Thank you for NOT making the swimming thing a thing

You didn’t need to TRY Voltron, what the hell?!

Here’s the deal,  Altea not being Obliterated-obliterated is actually a really interesting idea

Lance still wins, for the record

If she was infected in any way this wouldn’t drive me crazier than a bot on Halloween

But she’s not so this is BULL

Shallura confuses me SO much…

Ok, admittedly the scene with Allura and Alfor is beautifully heartbreaking

Episode 10

The fact that Zarkon was a close friend to Alfor should be addressed

Also Shiro calling himself “an inexperienced Pilot” hurts

Allura’s a MORON!

YES! MASSIVE ISSUE WITH YOU COMING

Nice puppetry Hunk

What happened to THIS Allura?! She’s reckless but not INSANE (or so boring I might cry)!

Is this the same Druid from Season 8? Pretty sure it’s 8… I forget which, but the one Keith fought

“Don’t walk through that door!” / Keith does/ “I think I told him” // “You are a paragon of leadership, Lance”

Hehheh I love Hunk teasing Lance about Allura

I do actually the fact that I can’t tell what size the purple container is until Keith grabs it

Heheh the Allura interacting with the Galra soldier

The computer sounds like Lance

Also Shiro had that “holy shit” moment

I HATE WRITING TELELPORTING FIGHTS

I’m 99% sure that the ONLY reason I didn’t fall into the Galra Keith rabbit hole was the fact that I binge watched

This scene confuses me… so much now that I know Shallura was apparently never going to be a thing

So confused

Episode 11

That hair flip though...

Coran, I get it, but calm down

Okay, but Keith has a point. Seriously, he’s not wrong. 

For the record, Haggar scares me

So much makes so much more sense now that we know Zarkon is the Original Black Paladin

That… makes no sense… “enough essence to open a wormhole”

Why are you transforming? More pieces to shoot at is usually a smart idea…

Hey hey, THACE!

Why can’t you have two active at once? I’m honestly serious.

I mean too OP, got it, but you can maneuver around that for temporary stuff

Shiro, use your words, yeah?

“Thinking” uh huh you mean “telepathy” right?

I genuinely forgot that Shiro got booted from Black

Damn! Yes Shiro! Kick some ass!

Ok, here’s the deal, Keith’s not listening to Coran, but he doesn’t have all the info (LIKE THE FUCKING BAYARD), Zarkon’s the OG Paladin, and he’s in distress

I HATE TELEPORTERS!

“Could have been” … uh Kuron exists ?? 

Also, Shiro with yellow eyes is fucking terrifying

We ain’t ficking stupid VLD

Zarkon’s a fucking idiot

Written properly his power-hungry attitude works even with him destroying his own ship

But it wasn’t so it’s null

You aren’t even subtle about Galra Keith

How can Allura see through Illusions?

Nobody knows!

Shiro, you have no jetpack, how are you so fast?

“Who cares, wormhole!” mood

I… uh… I want to do SO many things with this idea

Preferably not what they actually do...

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hey! I love all your recs so much thank you for taking the time! Please can you put together a list of fics where everyone thinks Stiles is amazing or gorgeous and he has no idea? Thank you!!

Here’s a bunch of insecure!Stiles. - Anastasia

Best Laid Plans of Wolves and Men by Jerakeen

(1/1 I 2,026 I Teen I Sterek)

Maybe murder seems better to Derek than being Stiles Stilinski's pretend boyfriend.

Blood Moon Run by jackgyeoms

(1/1 I 2,292 I Explicit)

Stiles wasn't really sure why everyone insisted that he participate in the Blood Moon Run.

Or the one where Stiles doesn't want to run but has to, and it ends up being a very good thing.

A Question of Pack by CawCawMF

(1/1 I 5,290 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles had always been sure of his place in the pack. That place being the absolute lowest tier in the hierarchy of werewolf pack dynamics, but he was sure of it all the same. He wasn’t necessary exactly, since just about anyone could conduct research on supernatural mythology, but his job was still important to the pack and he felt good about that. At least, that’s what he always thought. That all came crumbling down one sunny afternoon in the form of Jackson’s big mouth.

Where In the World is Derek Hale? by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(1/1 I 5,968 I General I Sterek)

It had been four days.

Four days since the incident. And he hadn’t heard from Derek once since then.

They’d been out fighting the most recent big bad, because Beacon Hills was a fucking magnet for bad things coming to town. They’d been in the middle of the fight, and Derek had told Stiles to run, which he hadn’t, because fuck you Derek Hale. So he hadn’t run, which ended up being a good thing, because he ended up saving Derek’s life.

When they’d won, the two of them dirty and panting, Derek had rounded on him and proceeded to shout at him for being stupid and reckless. Stiles had screamed back, and it had basically been a giant back and forth shouting match before Stiles had blurted out, “Because I fucking love your dumb, stupid face you idiot!” and had proceeded to kiss said idiot's dumb, stupid face.

What's Held on Our Shoulders by chameleonoverhere

(1/1 I 8,458 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek drops Stiles off at school, and this attracts the unwanted attention and harassment of some kid. He exploits Stiles' greatest insecurity, has him asking questions about his relationship with Derek that he never had before.

The Courting Dilemmas of a Spark and a Werewolf Prince by green-leaf (greenleaf)

(2/2 I 11,472 I Teen I Sterek)

Talia smiled calmly. “I am well aware that you are not a werewolf, my darling, but I thought this would be the best reading material for you to use as reference. After all, how would you know how to act during a courting ritual if you do not study it?”

“But I don’t... I’m not…” Stiles narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you setting me up with someone?”

Talia rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t be obtuse, my darling. Why would I set you up with someone –”

“Oh, well, that’s good, because–”

“–when I have a son who is already perfectly enamored with you?”

A Cunning Plan by yodasyoyo

(17/17 I 32,737 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles has a plan to get Lydia Martin to notice him. Derek is not impressed.

Your Pain is My Pain (So Stop Being So F#@$ing Clumsy!) by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(1/1 I 7,878 I Teen I Sterek)

“Wouldn’t it be hilarious if it was you?” Scott asked, looking between Stiles and Derek with a grin. “You turned eighteen yesterday. Derek got his soulmate yesterday.”

“Dude!” Stiles insisted, horrified, at the same time Derek snapped, “No!”

“I think it’d be sweet,” Talia said from the head of the table. “You’ve known one another for a long time, and this would certainly solve the Werewolf problem.”

“Derek is not my soulmate,” Stiles insisted. “I mean, look at him!” He motioned Derek. “He’s all grumpy and sourwolfish, and I mean, yeah, he’s great to look at, with the stubble and the working out, and face of a God sculpted out of stone and all that, and arms that could definitely carry me damsel-in-distress style whenever he wanted and what was I talking about again?” He turned back to Talia. “I think I lost my train of thought.”

He's...something by countrygirlsfun

(2/2 I 22,894 I General I Sterek)

Stiles has to admit, keeping his secret under wraps is easier than he expected around his new-found werewolf friends.

Except for the Alpha that is never where he should be.

Secondhand Soulmate by AnnoyinglyCute, Inell

(7/7 I 25,211 I Teen I Sterek)

Not always, not even most of the time, but sometimes -- 24% of the time, statistically speaking -- people meet their soulmates and live happily ever after.

THIS isn't that story.

This is the story of Stiles Stilinski, whose soulmate died before he was born. This is the story of all the sorrows and heartache Stiles experienced, all the bullying and oppression from those who should know better but didn't. This is also the story of the friendships Stiles made along the way, of the battles he fought -- and won -- and the love that endured through it all.

Bite Down Hard by KuriKuri

(1/1 I 25,730 I Explicit I Sterek)

For a moment, Derek can’t breathe.

Because moles aren’t the only thing marring the pale skin of Stiles’ neck. Oh no, that’s –

– that’s a bond bite. A bond bite which Stiles definitely did not have yesterday, and which appears to have roughly the same dimensions as Derek’s own mouth.

Shit.

(Or: In which Secret Service Agent Derek Hale accidentally gets bonded to First Son Stiles Stilinski. Oops.)

We Prefer Good Love to Gold by i_am_girlfriday

(9/9 I 63,371 I Explicit I Sterek)

This week on Millionaire Matchmaker: Supernatural Edition - Derek Hale, a thirty-year-old millionaire venture capitalist and beta werewolf, finally gives into his sisters’ pressures to start dating again and reluctantly agrees to use the services of a supernatural matchmaker. Stiles Stilinski, at age twenty-five, just sold his start-up to Google for undisclosed millions, and ends up on a reality dating show when his true alpha best friend tries to help him get over his broken heart.

***

The last thing anyone expects is for the two eligible bachelors to fall in love with each other behind the scenes.

An Alpha's Mate by EmeraldOcean

(14/? I 68,313 I Explicit I Sterek)

The threat of a rival pack and the discovery of a previously forgotten Hale family legend has Derek playing reluctant partners with his uncle Peter. And that's not the only strange thing that Stiles has noticed about Derek lately. But even the unexpectedly pleasant changes to their relationship can't completely erase the feeling that there's something he's not being told... Something that may change his life irrevocably.

This is Yours by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(2/2 I 73,317 I Mature I Sterek)

‘Lance’ had one hand against the back of his neck beneath his hood, and the other gripping the back of Derek’s head, sucking on his tongue almost lewdly while rocking his hips forward into Derek’s. A groan slid its way up his throat, and Derek broke the kiss, biting at the other’s full bottom lip.

“Seriously,” he said loudly, “what’s your name?”

“It’s a secret,” the other informed him, still smiling impishly, then dove in for another kiss.

Derek decided to let it go for now, he had the rest of the night to get a name out of him.

Higher Ground by Kikileduc

(18/22 I 161,121 I Mature I Sterek I Rape)

This is the story of 9 high school students from around the country, who have been sent to Beacon of Hope, a boarding school for ‘at risk’ teens. They each have a past as well as closely guarded secrets and have all dealt with trauma in one sense or another.

They’ll have to learn to trust and love again in a world that was simply too cruel for their young ages. Luckily for them, John Stilinski started this camp that combines outdoor bonding activities with schooling just for students like them who come from broken homes or got mixed up in illegal activities.

[tonyspep]

and possibly i like the thrill (of under me you quite so new)

a/n: friends to lovers is my favorite thing in the whole world, give me a girl seeing a boy in a new way or vice versa and i will die every time like i've never seen it lol. this was inspired by the poem i like my body when it's with your body by ee cummings. i imagined richard's friend who is a writer to be naomi scott who was in the remake of aladdin and will be in the new charlie's angels. also richard's sisters are mentioned throughout the fic, i don't know their names so i made them up; they are beth and evie.

~*~and possibly i like the thrill~*~

(of under me you quite so new)

pairing: richard madden/you

summary: it is so quite new a thing/or they've been friends for as long as they can remember, now – over the course of three days – they take the leap and become something more

rating: m

well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones rooted in friendship. you know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. like a switch has been flicked somewhere. and the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.

gillian anderson -

part one of three

[day one]

You couldn't understand why you were nervous, so nervous that you had gone through two bags of crisps and were currently working through a third as you waited for Richard to pick you up at the airport. There was absolutely no reason for you to be nervous, it's not as if you were some starstruck fangirl who waxed rhapsodic about his bluer than blue eyes or the cut of his jawline. You were his – literally – oldest friend. The two of you having been joined at the hip – basically – since you were born, just a few hours apart in the very same hospital in Renfrewshire and then just two houses down from each other until you both moved away – him to London to pursue acting – and you to Paris for writing.

Now he was Mr. Mega Famous Superstar, everyone in your little town crowing on and on about Robb Stark had a pint at the pub and sat in this very chair.

And you had done well for yourself, also. Starting out low on the totem pole at French Vogue to writing a weekly thing and celebrity profiles before deciding to go free lance and compose a book of observational essays, which – somehow – made the New York Times bestseller list. But that was nothing compared to being recognized all over the world by millions of people.

You couldn't help but shake your head from the stray thought.

While you were far from blind – his puppy fat had long since melted away, revealing the handsome face the public had come to know – he was still just Dickie, your oldest friend who you took baths with, who devoured your mother's chicken korma with gusto you couldn't even manage and your first kiss behind the swings of your primary school when you were five.

Or at least that's what you had to keep reminding yourself of more and more every time you saw him again.

Because the last few years, what was so obvious to the world at large, was getting harder and harder for you to ignore.

The broadness of his shoulders, the obvious strength in his lean but toned arms, how he had a bum a quarter could bounce off of. That streak of pure silver among his tight auburn curls, the way his eyes crinkled as he laughed, his lush lips forming that oh so charming grin with ease.

oh, god you thought, panic setting it. You were basically on the verge of being like one of those people who typed those thirst tweets that Buzzfeed made him read. Richard Madden could run me over with a bus and I'd still suck that dick or whatever and now you were going to spend the next three days in Cannes with him... alone.

fuck you cursed just as your senses were suddenly assaulted by a warm crisp scent of pine and spice and man, making your thighs involuntarily clench underneath you as you prepared for the deep rasp you knew was coming.

“Surrender that extra bag of crisps I know you have and I won't cause a scene, little miss,”

little miss, little miss, little miss...

It shouldn't have – it's something he's called you for so long now, something playful and affectionate because though he isn't tall by the standard of most men, he towers over your tiny barely five foot frame – but your wayward imagination takes over before you can stop it.

The two words – in your head – are rougher, deeper – like a growl from the deepest part of his chest that you definitely haven't thought of and when the bristles of his beard brush against the smooth skin of your cheek, you suck in a deep breath reminding yourself that this was the same man who at age thirteen ran to the corner store for a hot water bottle and emergency tampons for you, that he was your oldest and most dearest friend and you shouldn't be thinking about him pounding you – your legs wrapped around that criminally narrow waist – as he called you little miss.

You turn, expected to be confronted by his ridiculously blue eyes, and your more than thankful that they're hidden by stylish aviators. You laugh at the cap on his head, plucking it off and setting it on your own head as you stick out your tongue, falling easily into the familiar routine of best friend.

“Put that back where it belongs, miss or I'll have to tell the lovely Dr. Chokalingam how the polite, lovely girl she raised is now a little hellion with no regard for manners,” He threatened, flashing those perfectly white teeth as his lush lips twisted into a smile that was too charming for your own good.

You were about to retort – something tart on the tip of your tongue – when suddenly you found yourself swept into his arms. Your face fell into the crook of his neck and you couldn't resist breathing him in, that familiar smell of spice (cinnamon) and pine with that burst of citrus (orange) underneath and something completely Richard engulfed you, and when he pulled back – lifting his aviators – and there were his stupidly blue eyes staring at you, your stomach swooped and it was suddenly filled with butterflies.

“I've missed you,” So honest, so sincere like only he can be and you can't stop the shudder that rolls through your lithe frame.

As he watched you bound into the lavish hotel lobby, your fingers slipping from his as your wide coffee colored eyes took in every inch, Richard didn't know how he was going to survive these next three days.

You were even more beautiful than he remembered, the warmth of the Southern French sunlight bathing you in a glow that had his heart tripping in his chest. You were dressed more than appropriately for the heat the island was known for, the denim cut offs revealing the length of your shapely legs. Though, small in stature, your legs – somehow – seemed to go for miles finally ending in dainty feet that were slid into worn flip flops revealing your gold painted toes that sparkled.

His cap was back on his head – after a bit of a playful wrestling match the two of you had – and now your hair was twisted into a messy top knot, several of the inky black strands framing your face, and he could feel his fingers flex by his side, the want to brush them away and then seal his lips across your pert raspberry pout growing stronger by the second. His feet easily separated the small distance between you, his hand reaching for your wrist and as soon as his fingers closed over your skin, he twirled you, unable to stop himself.

It was so hard to ignore your body pressed against his, your pert breasts pillowed against his chest, the flare of your hips aligned with his waist and your head tucked perfectly under his chin.

“I missed you too,” And it was clearly his imagination because why would you sound breathless around him? He was your oldest mate; the chubby boy who did things like get you emergency tampons and hot water bottles from the corner store, not someone you would ever think of as a viable romantic partner.

Little did he know as he bent his head forward, nose nuzzling the appealing curve of your slim shoulder, you were thinking the same thing. That he would never see you as a viable romantic partner.

In the suite, the studio had booked there were two queen sized beds, but by the end of the holiday the two beds would be pushed together, neither of you knew that yet, though.

“Do you ever get used to it,” You asked softly after you and Richard slipped out of the hotel's back entrance through it's enormous kitchen. “Having to do this? Sneak about? How if a pap snapped away, I'd be called the latest flavor of heartthrob Richard Madden's month?” You tease, nudging his hip with yours, purposefully keeping your voice light, even though your stomach drops.

You can't help but think how lonely it must be for him, now that he's – you can't stop your cheeks from warming – some kind of sex symbol.  Which leads you to thinking about the revolving door of women that have come in and out of his life since he and Jenna finally split. All of them tall, all of them drop dead gorgeous with bodies you could never compete with no matter how many spin classes you took or how many miles you ran.

You bite your lip, casting a look at him from underneath your lashes and your heart aches as you watch sadness creep into his chiseled features. His blue eyes go dull, turning a subtle grey and he shakes his head, carding his fingers through his curls.

“Not really,” He answers, faint blush creeping into his perfect cheekbones. “I don't see myself the way everyone else seems to,” A dry chuckle. “Though, if a pap snapped away at you and I,” There's that charming grin again and his eyes have returned to their usual bright state. That happy blue you could drown in. “I can't say,” He's doing that thing where he stares straight into your eyes and your whole world melts away, leaving only the two of you and your stomach goes swoopy and there are the butterflies and you don't know how you're standing. “I'd be the least bit miffed to be listed as one of the flavors of the month for New York Times best-selling author Ariana Chokalingam.”

Your heart stutters in your chest, that wonderful brogue full of such sincerity, you don't know how you're breathing. Under the faint glow of the lights from the hotel, he looks very much like the young prince he claims he's happy not to be cast as anymore. He's so handsome, you feel as though the French Police should be called and he should be towed away because his looks make him as dangerous as any criminal roaming about.

You stop your wayward thoughts and jab him square in the ribs, breaking yourself out of your little fantasy. “Come off it,” You chide. “I don't have flavors of the month. The paps would just tag me as a mystery brunette on your arm. It was just a book of essays, Dickie,” You roll your eyes and give him another jab. “The cover was mostly pink.”

“Don't,” His tone is fierce and the muscle in the cut of his jaw twitches and clenches as if he's back on the set of Bodyguard playing David Budd. “Don't do that,” His voice changes going gentle, almost pleading as you feel his large palm cup the right side of your face, forcing you to look into his too-captivating eyes. “Ana,” Something only he calls you, everyone else around you defaulting to Ari or your full name. “If it was just a book of essays would so many people have bought it? First in hard cover and then in paper back. Vera and Roshi couldn't have bought every copy. If Beth hadn't told me I was ridiculous, I would have beat them to the punch, anyway,” He laughs and his eyes are sparkling, a boyish and bashful look crossing his handsome face. “Evie will be the first to tell you, I hadn't read a book cover to cover since secondary school when I was required to.”

“Stoooop,” You whine, shoving at him and before you can shove him again, he's caged you in his arms and nuzzles his face against your neck. “It's true. I'll call them right now and prove it,” He insists and you giggle as you squirm in his embrace. “C'mon, Romeo,” You sigh, finally managing to twist out of his hold. “Show me what mega stars do on holiday. Writers only get into the hottest parties and whatnot if they're on assignment y'know.”

Le Vogue was Taron's suggestion after Richard had sent his good friend a quick text. The music – electronica and house – reminded him of the music they used for Ibiza. The club itself was intimate with close quarters, at least from what he was able to gather as all too quickly the the two of you were whisked to the private era, a velvet rope separating you and the other VIPs from the public.

Under the strobe lights, you were even more beautiful to him, and he found himself slipping back into being almost cripplingly shy as if he were nothing more than a school boy.

The flimsy dress you had chosen to wear – after changing from your cutoffs and tee – wasn't helping at all, of course.

The fabric is satin, the straps thin and sitting high on your slim shoulders while the satin clings to your pert breasts emphasizing how they would fit perfectly in the heft of his palms and the ribbon wrapped around your waist shows off how tiny that part of your body is while its slit reaches the top of your thigh, teasing him to helplessness every time you so much as take a step let alone dance.

It's the music and the alcohol, he thinks as you drag him to the floor, grinding and sliding against him, head thrown back to the steady thump of the bass, exposing the wonderful length of your neck. He wants nothing more than for this to be real, for you to want him as he wants you. If not for the French beer giving you a buzz, no one knowing either of you and how it's typical for anyone to be loose with their inhibitions while on holiday, you wouldn't be doing this; touching him, your fingers carding through his hair, then sliding down the front of his body before swiveling your hips in such a way he's not sure he remembers his own name.

How early it is when you finally leave, Richard doesn't know all he knows is you're thoroughly smashed, like utterly blitzed and tanked up and because you're in such a state, you're clingier than you would be otherwise. You can't stop touching him; your hands blindly groping over and underneath his clothes, your roaming hands – at one point – actually grip his ass which makes you howl with laughter as you nearly topple over on your unsteady feet, the heels on your feet doing you no favors in keeping you upright.

Despite being wasted, you still smell of daisies and clementines and when you fall into bed, hiccuping and mumbling how your mother would be thoroughly disappointed in you, he laughs and sets about the task of getting you comfortable to sleep off your drunken stupor.

He's careful of not revealing more of your luscious mocha skin than he has to as he tries to slip your dress away and put on your pajamas. It doesn't help that he's replacing this devil of a dress with shorts that can't possibly cover your ass and a top that doesn't seem like it will cover your entire front, some of your stomach – flat and smooth – will surely be visible, and he curses his parents for raising him to be such a fucking gentleman.

“Nooooooooo,” You whine after he's finally gotten you changed. You're grabbing for him again and he bats your insistent hands away, bending and murmuring as he pushes back several strands of your hair, “Sleep mo leannan,” He urges, his voice soft and gentle.

“Staaaaaaaaay,” Another whine as your velvet lashes reveal unfocused and bleary coffee eyes. But they're soft and warm, somehow, as well and he's never been able to resist you. Going back to when you were children and you always got the last crisp in the bag or the last piece of his Gran's homemade shortbread from the tin. “If you insist, my lady,” Bowing gallantly and you laugh – loud and brash – your head thrown back as if it's the funniest thing you've heard and after stripping to his boxer briefs, he grabs an old tee shirt and slips it on before climbing into bed with you.

You cling to him like a limpet, your every inch pressed against his and just before he falls asleep you murmur, “Thanks for staying, Dickie.”

“Anything for you, Ana.”

a/n: mo leannan is scottish for my sweetheart

@bluesfortheredj @nishanki1

[sparklebitch]

Attempts (Langst)

Summary: Lance attempted something bad, and now he must attempt something good. Why are things that are good for you always so hard to do?

A/N: I apologize for continuously promising new fics and then never posting them. My motivation to finish anything has been -1 in the last 6 months. I'm not announcing when I'm going to post fics anymore because it stresses me out and then my motivation vanishes and I can't write anymore lol.

P.s. I am rusty so I apologize for the occasional scatterbrainedness. I'm just happy I finished the damn thing lmao.

Trigger warnings are listed in the tags.

Lance woke up in a daze, his head half submerged under the water. He opened his mouth and he began to choke. His eyes widened and he tried to sit up but found that he couldn't. He thrashed around, trying to pull himself out of the water. His arms hit something solid. He braced them against the walls and drug himself upright so that his head was out of the water.

Still feel groggy, Lance threw his upper half over the wall and looked around, trying to understand what was happening. He saw that his feet were tied together with a rope, which was also tied to the shower head. Fear gripped his chest as Lance shook his head over and over. He weakly reached over to untie the ropes, nearly falling back into the bathtub as he did. It took several minutes of his fumbling around to finally be able to slip his feet out of them. He scrambled to get out of the tub, falling onto the hard floor and sending a pile of pill bottles flying across the floor, spilling the contents of them. The little blue pills scattered all across the floor. Lance lay face down on the floor without moving as he tried to catch his breath. His heart was beating so hard in his chest that he thought it might explode. His head was spinning and it felt like it was full of cotton.

Finally Lance felt strong enough to push himself up. He reached for a towel off the hook on the wall and loosely wrapped it around his shoulders. His entire body felt like it was on fire but he was so cold at the same time. The cold water that had sloshed out of the tub seemed to seep into Lance's bones. He coughed violently, trying to get the remaining water out of his lungs and then froze. He slowly looked around at the scene around him.

The pills.

The tub.

The rope.

It was only then that he truly realized what had almost happened.

Lance began to moan quietly and shake his head. Water droplets fell from his head and slid down his face. Lance wept silently as he shakily tried to stand up. He had to get out of there. He had to tell someone. He had to do something. He had tried so long to keep and thoughts and feelings to himself.

Look where that got him.

Lance tried to stand up too quickly and slipped on the water. He fell hard onto the floor, bouncing his head off the tiles. He gasped in pain and felt blood begin to gush out of the wound on his forehead. After allowing himself a few more moments to cry Lance began to, slowly this time, peel himself off the floor. When he was finally on his feet Lance slowly shuffled out of the bathroom, kicking pills across the floor the whole time.

He continued to cry as he exited his room. He didn't know where he was going, he just knew that he couldn't be alone anymore. He had to get help.

That's how Keith found him, standing outside his door at four in the morning, wearing nothing but a pair of soaking wet underwear and a damp towel. Keith's mouth fell open as he stared at Lance's disheveled appearance. Blood rushing down his face, pills clinging to his wet hair. Without speaking a word Keith ushered Lance inside and guided him to the bed.

"I- I- I'm wet" Lance spoke for the first time, his voice sounding thin and panicked. Keith's eyes were wide.

"Uh, yeah" He had his hands on Lance's shoulders, trying to get him to sit down, but Lance resisted,

"I- I- I-" Lance shook his head. "I'll get your bed wet" he said fearfully. Keith let out an exasperated noise.

"Lance, it's fine. It'll dry" Lance sat down abruptly and hunched his shoulders. He was so cold. Keith stood there in front of Lance at a loss for words. It wasn't until he saw the rope burns on Lance's ankle and his eyes snapped up to Lance's.

"Who did this to you?" he asked sharply. At his words Lance began to sob. Keith's anger dissipated in an instant, replaced by concern and an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. He was never good at dealing with emotions, not his own and certainly not others. "Oh, uh" he glanced around the room and then slowly sat down next to Lance.

"I did- I tried- I tried to..." Lance sucked in a shaky breath and blinked the tears out of his eyes. He was so groggy. He had no idea how many sleeping pills he had taken. It was a struggle just trying to keep himself upright.

"You tried to..." Keith repeated. Then he frowned. He reached up and tugged a small blue pill out of Lance's hair. Lance turned his face away and wiped his nose, still struggling to keep his head up. "Are these the sleeping pills Coran gave us?" he asked quietly. Then his eyes widened in realization. "Oh" he said simply. Had Lance been trying to hurt himself on purpose? "Oh... god" Blood dripped down Lance's face from the gash on his forehead.

Lance's vision swam as he watched the drops of blood fall onto Keith's bed. Lance teared up again. "Sorry" he croaked. Keith, put his hand on Lance's arm, frowning.

"Lance, you don't have to apologize- Are you okay?" Lance slumped forward and gagged. His stomach was violently trying to reject the medicine he had taken. His survival instincts were taking over. He began panting for breath.

"Fuck" he breathed. "I need you to put me in... in a pod" His words were beginning to become slurred. His adrenaline was running out and he knew he was close to losing consciousness. Keith blinked slowly and nodded. While he still had no idea what was going on, he obviously knew that it was very serious.

"Here, put your arm around my neck" Keith instructed softly. Lance did so, and Keith pulled him to his feet. The two of them nearly toppled over as they crossed the room and entered the hallway, one step at a time.

It felt like an hour before they finally reached the infirmary. Keith helped Lance get into the pod and then promised him that he was going to be okay before closing it. The familiar hum of the pod began as the door sealed. Keith took a step back and let his mind race for a moment. He had so many thoughts, so many things to do and say. He couldn't believed that that almost happened. That this was happening.

After taking a few calming breaths and making sure that Lance was securely in the pod, Keith made his way to Shiro's room. He opened the door after only a few knocks. Keith closed his eyes and explained the situation to a very stoic Shiro.

"I don't- Christ, Shiro. I don't know what to do. He came to me with this, not anyone else. Not Hunk, his best friend, not you his idol, or Coran who's basically a father figure to him. He came to me! What am I supposed to do!?" Shiro, who had been silent up to this point rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.

"Keith, I don't think there's any right answer" Keith threw his head back. That wasn't what he was looking for. He wanted Shiro to tell him exactly what he should do and say. "It's obviously very important that Lance came to you for this. He must trust you"

"So what do I do?" Keith asked hopelessly.

"I think... you need to do what you think is best. I believe that you can find the right words to help him. Let him know that he's not alone. He has all of us. That with support he can get through this" Keith dropped his head into his hands.

"Well that was clearish" he moaned. With a quiet huff he stood up and squared his shoulders. "Okay. I can do this" he said. Shiro nodded and clasped a hand on Keith's shoulder.

"Just let him know that he is loved, and that we will do whatever we can to help him" Keith nodded, thanked Shiro, and left the room. After grabbing some clothes out of his room he returned to the infirmary to wait for Lance.

~   ~

It was nearly morning when Lance's pod finally opened. He stumbled out right into the arms of Keith, who was waiting for him. Lance blinked sleepily at the clothes that Keith had thrusted at him.

Keith had hours to think of what he was going to say to Lance, of what he wanted Lance to talk about. But the minute that Lance turned around, wearing Keith's baggy sweatshirt and pajama pants, his mind when completely blank. Lance looked so childlike as he stood in front of Keith, his face looking open and vulnerable. It was something that Keith had never seen in Lance before. He was completely exposed at that moment. Keith couldn't believe that the person in front of him had tried to end his life.

"I don't- I don't know what we do now" Lance mumbled, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Neither do I" Keith replied honestly. Lance slowly sunk down onto the ground next to the pod and drew his knees up to his chest. Keith did the same.

"Do you... want to talk about what happened?" Keith asked softly. Lance stared down at his hands.

"No" he said hoarsely. "But... I- I have to" He knew that he couldn't keep this up anymore. He had tried to keep it all in before, and look how that turned out. He almost died. What would've happened if he hadn't woken up when he did? Lance shuddered at the thought.

"Seriously, if you don't feel comfortable talking about it right now I understand. We can get some sleep first and then tomorrow--" Lance shook his head firmly.

"Keith" Lance said brokenly. Keith stopped his nervous fidgeting and turned to look at Lance's defeated face. "I need you to make me talk" he said shakily. "No matter what I say, you have to get me to tell you everything. I- I can't do this anymore. I have to try- to try opening up. And I don't mean to dump this on you, I can- I can tell someone else instead. Fuck, why am I so selfish" Lance crossed his arms over his chest and lowered his head. "Forget what I said. I'm sorry" Lance started to get up but Keith stopped him.

"No" he said, unsure of himself. "You're not- You can't- Lance you're not selfish" Keith said in exasperation. "

"But I tried to- to--" Lance nodded his head to the bruises still forming around his ankles. "That was selfish. I tried to end my pain, while causing you more. It was stupid. It was- I- God, this was a mistake" Lance stood up and moved toward the door again. Keith stepped in front of him.

"Lance, I need you to sit down" he instructed. Lance avoided his eyes but sat down. His mind was swirling with conflicting thoughts. He needed Keith to make him talk, but that was also the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to forget this ever happened, but he knew that was a mistake. If he ignored this he knew that someday, probably soon, he would end up in the same position. And next time he might not be so lucky. "Look at me" he said. Lance slowly lifted his eyes to meet Keith's. "You're not selfish. You're not a burden. You're not dumping this on me, you understand that? I am your friend. Friends help each other out. I understand that you're feeling a lot of scary things right now, and you're probably exhausted and confused, god knows I am too" As Keith continued Lance's eyes got bigger and bigger, filling with tears as they did. "But like you said, I can't let you go to bed. We need to talk this out, and then tomorrow... well, when tomorrow comes we can get to that"

"O- Okay" Lance's voice broke and he tried to clear his throat. "Alright" He twisted his hands together as Keith took a step back and thought for a moment.

"I know this sucks, but I need you to tell me everything. The whole thing" Lance blinked.

"All of it?"

"All of it" he repeated. "From the beginning. Tell me what led to this, tell me- tell me what I can do to help you. What we all can do. We're your family Lance"

"So the beginning... earlier I tried to... you know" he shrugged. Keith shook his head.

"Can you say it out loud?" Keith asked slowly. He had no idea if this was the right thing to be doing. He had never been in this position before. There were no licensed professions in the castle that could help with this. They were virtually on their own with this. For now he was just going to have to do what he believed was best for Lance. "First, I need you to say that it happened. You have to acknowledge it before we can get anywhere"

Lance felt throat tighten in fear. Lance was never one to show his true emotions or tell anyone what he was thinking. Now he was going to have to spill everything. If he didn't he knew that it would end badly. He had to at the very least attempt to work through this.

Lance took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I... tried to kill myself"

~   ~   ~

| Other fics | Ko-fi |

[starlight-matrix]

Cold

@vldangstbang Behold, my 2019 Voltron: Legendary Defender Angst Bang fic!

Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Violence, Major Character Death

There is a scene toward the end of the fic that may be very triggering for some audiences, so please be very careful! There is a marker labeled “First Ending” and if you might be triggered by some extreme violence, please just stop there. I’ll put an explanation of the scene at the very end of the post for anyone who is curious and wants to know without reading the actual content. Stay safe!

The first time Lance meets Keith, he gets punched in the face.

It’s his own fault, really. Everyone knows not to approach Keith Kogane when he’s pissed off. Lance decides to approach Keith when he’s in the middle of a fight, which is, in hindsight, a fucking stupid decision. Some time after the fact, however, he finds he doesn’t regret it.

The first time Lance meets Keith, he gets punched in the face.

It’s his own fault, really. Everyone knows not to approach Keith Kogane when he’s pissed off. Lance decides to approach Keith when he’s in the middle of a fight, which is, in hindsight, a fucking stupid decision. 

(Some time after the fact, however, he finds he doesn’t regret it.)

He makes the dumbass decision halfway through the second semester of eighth grade, when he really should be in the library studying for final exams instead of in the school courtyard, flirting with Nyma Johnson while Pidge and Hunk laugh at him from a bench ten feet away. It’s blessedly beautiful out, just enough clouds for it to not be sweltering, but still few enough for the sun to shine down and brighten up the grey of the school.

Lance is in the middle of a slowly ebbing conversation when a sudden ruckus from the other end of the courtyard catches his attention. Loud shouting and sounds of a scuffle are audible in the distance and Lance excuses himself to see what the fuss is about. By the time he reaches the source of the noise, a crowd has gathered, students cheering on two teens pushing and shoving at each other like fighters in the center of a ring.

Lance immediately recognizes one of them as Keith Kogane. How could he not, when the guy’s practically the school prodigy? It takes him another few moments to recognize the smaller kid as a sixth grader who rides his bus and is generally quite obnoxious.

And, of course, Lance’s first instinct is to attempt to dispel the fight. On his own. A fight between Keith Kogane and someone who very obviously does not regret pissing him off.

As previously said: a fucking stupid decision.

“Hey, guys, I know you’re both mad but if Iverson catches you fighting you’ll probably get in-”

Before Lance can finish his sentence, Keith’s violet gaze is turned on him, and pain blossoms in his cheek as he gets caught up in a fight he really shouldn’t have had anything to do with. Hunk and Pidge are shouting in the distance as Lance stumbles backward from the force of the hit, his mouth tasting of iron and aching terribly when he lifts his hand to the swollen area. He glances at Keith and immediately wishes he hadn’t. The guy looks absolutely livid.

More shouting ensues and Lance tunes it all out, returning to Hunk and Pidge and letting his two friends fuss over him. The crowd suddenly disperses and Iverson’s voice cuts through the chaos in the courtyard screaming ‘Kogane’ at the top of his lungs. Lance looks past Hunk inspecting his cheek to see Iverson grabbing Keith by the arm, shouting at him about the school rules and how many infractions he already has.

Iverson stops his lecture to drag Keith back into the building, and for a split second, Keith’s gaze meets Lance’s once again. This time, Keith almost looks apologetic.

News of Keith’s expulsion is the first thing he hears at school the next morning, and Lance doesn’t see Keith again, nor does he expect to. Rumors about the raven-haired prodigy spread and quickly fade away. People stop talking about him as if they’re both terrified and vaguely awed by him. Keith disappears from everyone’s list of conversation starters, and Lance can’t help but wonder if there was anyone in their school who actually knew him beyond his reputation.

Lance is undeniably excited for his first day of high school. He has his favorite sandwich tucked away in his bag, he’s wearing his favorite outfit, he’s sitting on the bus next to his favorite friend. Lance doesn’t think the start of his day could possibly get any better.

He also doesn’t think the start of his day could get any worse, which is a mistake on his part.

The first thing Lance notices as he’s stepping off the bus is Keith’s form in the parking lot, next to a bright red bmx bike with chipped paint and a fraying seat. His hair is longer, though not by much, and Lance grudgingly admits that the mullet doesn’t look terrible on him. Keith is taller too - again, not by much - and Lance offhandedly wonders if anything else about him has changed.

(The angry curse Keith spits out when someone bumps into him doesn’t encourage that particular train of thought.)

“Lance? What’re you glaring at?” Hunk asks.

“Keith Kogane.” Lance replies, the distaste spilling out before he can pretend it’s not there.

Hunk follows his line of sight and quirks his brow. “Isn’t that the guy who punched you last year?” He says dismissively. Lance shoots him an incredulous look. “Hey, man, you got in the middle of that fight all on your own, even though you knew his reputation. That hit was just a side effect.”

“I kept biting my cheek for a week because it was all swollen!”

“Yeah, well, maybe you should learn not to butt into people’s business.”

“Says you, Mister I’m-Going-To-Pry-Into-Your-Love-Life-Until-I-Ruin-Your-Chances-At-Romance!”

“Again, totally your fault,” Hunk counters matter-of-factly. “You’re the one who blatantly insulted Rolo in front of Nyma when he just so happened to be her best friend.”

Lance frowns and crosses his arms over his chest indignantly, knowing Hunk is right. Of course Hunk is right. Hunk is always right. “Yeah, well, you’re not the one who got punched in the face for trying to keep a sixth grader from getting pummeled. Or who got slapped by the girl you like.”

Following Hunk through the front doors of the school, Lance watches Keith fade into the crowd of students and instead turns his attention toward a familiar length of blonde hair. Nyma is standing only ten or so feet away, right next to Rolo, smiling her perfect smile and laughing her perfect laugh. Lance pointedly doesn’t acknowledge their linked hands, or the way Rolo leans over to kiss Nyma on the cheek. Hunk makes a noise of understanding and leads him further down the hall.

Pidge is leaning against a pillar where the hall opens up into the cafeteria, scrolling through her phone and glaring down at whatever she’s looking at. When Lance and Hunk call out to her, she tucks her phone into her pocket and waves back with a half-smile, grey bags under her eyes.

“God Pidge, did you even sleep last night? You look like hell.” Lance says.

Pidge frowns. “Gee, thanks Mr. Casanova. You sure know how to make a girl feel beautiful,” She deadpans, shoving Lance with her shoulder. “And no, I didn’t. I was up late playing Overwatch with Matt.”

The three of them maneuver through the hall and plop down at an empty table in the cafeteria to compare their schedules, chatting about Overwatch and Pidge’s brother, Matt. Lance and Pidge both silently mourn the fact they don’t have any classes together. He and Hunk have three of the same classes though, which is a good thing. They continue their conversation about video games until Pidge brings up a sore (not really) subject.

“Hey, did you guys know Keith goes here too? I saw him walk by right before you guys showed up.”

Lance groans in loathing, and Hunk answers for him. “Yeah, we saw him when we got off the bus. Lance isn’t too happy about it, but it’s not like we have to hang out with him or anything.”

“But he goes here! Which means we could end up in the same classes!” Lance complains. “If I have to relive the trauma of being punched in the face by him every day, I’ll be miserable!”

“Stop being so dramatic, you big pissbaby. It’s your fault he hit you anyway, you’re the one who butted into his fight.” Pidge points out. 

“I have the worst friends! Neither of you are supporting my perspective on this!”

“That’s because your perspective is flawed.”

Lance shoots Pidge and Hunk equal looks of ‘I-Can’t-Believe-I-Trusted-You’ and they both firmly ignore him. Before he can make a bigger show of pouting, the bell rings overhead, and the three of them are standing to find their respective classes. Pidge grumbles incoherently as she heads off to the gym and Lance wishes her the best of luck, hoping and praying none of the staff will give her any trouble concerning the locker rooms. He and Hunk split ways in the hall between the science and mathematics buildings, Lance not quite appreciating the fact that he has maths class first thing in the morning. Can’t be worse than having P.E. first, though, he thinks.

His immediate thought when he walks through the door of his new maths class is “Oh God, it actually can be worse,” because there in the middle row, looking ridiculously content sitting in a maths classroom, is Keith Kogane, eyes distant as he stares at the whiteboard at the front of the room. Lance notes that he has earbuds in, and silently hopes Keith gets busted by the teacher. Moving to take a seat as far away from Keith as possible, Lance looks up at the whiteboard and scowls at the sloppily-drawn seating chart in one corner.

His morning only seems to get worse when Lance walks up to the seating chart and realizes he has to sit right next to Keith. Apparently there isn’t anyone with an “L” surname in this class.

Glaring at the whiteboard for far longer than is strictly necessary, Lance turns and maneuvers through the rows of desks and drops his bag onto the one to Keith’s right with a loud thump that makes the raven-haired boy jump, much to Lance’s amusement. Keith shoots him a glare and folds his arms over the table, resting his head on them with a sigh. Lance’s victory smirk melts to a frown. Did Keith not remember him? There wasn’t even a hint of recognition in that glare; what if Keith simply didn’t know him? Lance huffs and sits down, admittedly disappointed.

A couple minutes later, the second bell rings to announce the end of the passing period, and the teacher stands from her desk to introduce herself. Lance turns to see if Keith is paying attention (he’s wearing earbuds, so clearly he’s the type who doesn’t care about class, Lance thinks) and realizes that his earbuds aren’t actually earbuds; they’re simply aux cords plugged into hearing aids in both of Keith’s ears.

Lance wonders how he never previously noticed Keith wore hearing aids.

He also wonders how the whole ‘aux cord turns hearing aids into earbuds’ thing works, but that question is dissipated by Keith catching him staring and raising an eyebrow. Lance quickly looks away and focuses his gaze on the teacher, who starts to explain the class rubric. Lance can feel Keith’s eyes on him for another few seconds, but he doesn’t look back, and when he glances at Keith again in the middle of class, he’s dutifully taking notes as if nothing had happened.

Lance tunes out most of first period, simply due to the fact that the teacher handed out a syllabus at the start of class that specifies everything she’s saying to them in perfect detail, word for word, so it’s pretty redundant to listen to her say it all over again. Lance finds himself watching Keith out of the corner of his eye. As soon as the teacher had started talking nearly half an hour ago, he’d produced a couple of barrettes from nowhere and pinned his hair back so it wouldn’t fall in front of his hearing aids, and Lance can’t stop his brain from telling him it’s cute.

The entire time the teacher drones on about classroom etiquette, Keith is jotting down everything she says in his notebook, writing so fast Lance can hear his pencil scraping over the page, and a subtle glance at Keith’s notebook tells him it’s likely that Keith is the only person who will ever be able to actually read his notes. It’s weird for Lance to see Keith so focused and peaceful - the only emotion he’s ever seen on the guy is anger; intense, furious anger.

But here, in a maths class of all places, Keith looks strangely calm. There’s no hint of frustration in his face and his eyes only ever leave the front of the room when he’s pausing to take notes.

The bell is ringing before Lance even notices the time flying by, and he quickly looks away from Keith in an attempt to keep his absent staring a secret. He listens to Keith shuffle about beside him as they both put away their things, and when Lance looks up again, Keith is across the room and walking out the door. Lance waits a good long moment before following, meeting Hunk in the hallway outside and making no mention of Keith as he’s swept up in conversation.

He doesn’t see Keith again that day. When Lance gets home that night and his mother asks how his first day of high school was, his response is: “It was a very enlightening experience.”

Lance continues to silently observe Keith throughout first period maths. He doesn’t get to do so as fervently as he had the first day of school, since after the introductions of the first day, they’re immediately thrown into actual classwork and assignments. Lance doesn’t enjoy maths - he doesn’t hate it, of course; he understands the practical nature of everything and doesn’t have enough of an issue with the content to really dislike it at all - but he finds himself actually looking forward to it every day, simply because of all the things he notices about Keith.

He learns that all of Keith’s notebooks are space-themed, with planets and nebulas on the fronts of each one. He learns that Keith’s favorite pencil is a red mechanical one with rubber grips; he once watched Keith miss a good two minutes of the lecture in favor of rooting through his bag in search of said pencil when there were two other, perfectly usable pencils already on his desk. He learns that Keith takes his hearing aids out when the class gets too loud during work time.

Lance watches Keith out of the corner of his eye whenever the teacher pauses her chatter, and Keith never catches him staring, always absorbed in the lecture with tunnel-vision focus Lance is somewhat jealous of. The constant observation causes him to have a little more homework to do after school, but he can’t bring himself to break the habit. He’s too curious about Keith, about how this ragged teen who once showed such livid anger manages to look so soft.

A month has passed since the start of high school when Lance speaks to Keith for the first time.

He’s walking out of his American History classroom during lunch, having forgotten his jacket on the back of his chair earlier in the day and gone back to fetch it. The classroom is in a short hall that is almost impossible to find without some kind of help unless you’ve been there before, and Lance’s heart jumps into his throat when he trips over a pair of legs sticking out from next to a trash can in the walkway. He catches himself and turns to find Keith sitting on the floor up against the ugly brown brick wall, knees now pulled to his chest as he stares back at Lance.

“Keith?!” Lance says, visibly surprised. Keith’s brow furrows. “What are you doing here?!”

“Um...eating lunch?” Keith deadpans, gesturing to the sandwich in his hands.

“Yeah, but why are you eating lunch way out here? Wouldn’t it be better to eat in the cafeteria? This hallway isn’t even indoors, you’ve gotta be freezing your ass off.”

Keith simply shrugs. “Cafeteria’s too crowded. And noisy..”

Lance nods in understanding, even though he can’t really relate to Keith’s point. He’s always felt a little at home in chaos - it’s simply a side effect of growing up in a busy household.

“You sit next to me in maths, right?” Keith asks. Lance nods. “And you’re the kid I punched last year too, aren’t you?”

Lance is shocked to hear him say that, and it must show on his face, because Keith shrinks a little smaller and turns his violet eyes to the floor, and Lance can’t help but notice the pink flush that reaches up to the tips of his ears.

“I’m sorry about that, by the way. I didn’t mean to hit you, especially not as hard as I did. I thought you were one of that kid’s friends, joining the fight to back him up. I acted on reflex.”

“Oh.” Is all Lance can say, and after a few seconds of silence, he pulls his jacket on against the cold and takes a seat on the cement next to Keith, far enough away so they aren't touching but close enough that he won’t have to talk too loud to be heard. 

“Why were you fighting him, anyway? He was a sixth grader, what did he do to piss you off so bad?” He asks.

Keith looks up at him and then away, as if pondering his answer. “...he stole something that was really important to me. And then threatened to give it to the Principal and get me expelled.”

“Whoa...wait, what the heck did you have that could get you expelled??”

Again, Keith hesitates, and Lance finds a pair of violet eyes on him once again, studying him, as if Keith is trying to gauge whether or not he can trust Lance with whatever the answer is. Lance can’t blame him for it. After the fight last year, it’s a totally plausible theory that Lance would take Keith’s answer as blackmail to get him in trouble- revenge for getting punched in the face.

“...a knife,” Keith says after a long moment. “It used to belong to my parents. That kid stole it out of my bag during P.E. and threatened to take it to Iverson so I’d get expelled from the school. That wasn’t the actual reason I got expelled though, ironically enough.”

Lance doesn’t say anything, obviously waiting for an explanation, and Keith’s face tilts up into a smile that makes Lance think his assumption that Keith was just a rude fuck is very wrong.

“I punched Iverson in the face.”

“You punched Iverson?!” Lance blurts, grinning from ear to ear. “Dude! That guy was an asshole! Man, sucks that you got expelled for it though, with how rude he was to all his students.”

“Yeah. He was going off about how I was supposed to be a good example, spewing shit about how I’m a prodigy or whatever and shouldn’t be getting into fights and ruining my image. Made it seem like my image being ruined somehow ruined the school’s image too,” Keith explains. “They weren’t going to even suspend me for the knife thing, but then Iverson said it was stupid that I cared so much about a gift from two people I never even got to meet. And I fucking decked him.”

“And that’s why you got expelled. For decking Iverson.”

Keith nods, and Lance is in awe. He can’t say he wouldn’t expect such a thing from Keith - after all, he is known for being prone to fighting - but to punch Iverson, the meanest adult Lance has ever laid eyes on, is something he considers to be incredibly admirable despite the fact he definitely doesn’t condone violence. Keith seems to loosen up a little at the fact that he’s smiling, which Lance watches with keen eyes; the way his knees drift farther from his chest, the way his head lifts up from where his shoulders were stooped low.

Lance’s cell phone vibrates in his pocket, startling them both, and he pulls it out to find a couple texts from Pidge asking him where he is. He’d completely forgotten about his normal lunch plans in the unexpected conversation with Keith. He texts her back saying he’ll be right there.

“My friends are waiting for me, so I gotta go,” Lance says, standing and brushing dirt off the back of his jeans. “If you want, you can come eat with us. We eat in the courtyard, so it’s not loud. And it’ll just be me, Hunk, and Pidge. They’re both nice, I’m sure they’d like you.”

Keith looks at him with wide eyes, and Lance offhandedly realizes that this is the first time he’s ever actually spoken to Keith. He also remembers the fact that Keith did, in fact, punch him in the face last year, and while he knows Hunk and Pidge don’t hold a grudge over that, Keith doesn’t. Lance almost expects Keith to decline his offer and never talk to him again.

But then Keith smiles, a small, soft smile, and gathers his things. “Sure, I’d like that.”

Keith easily becomes a natural part of their group. He’s awkward that first day, not knowing how to act or what to say, but he quickly warms up to Hunk and Pidge, and after about two weeks it’s hard to imagine what their group would be like without Keith.

Lance doesn’t stop his observations. His eyes are constantly on Keith, taking in everything about him. He learns that Keith loves everything there is to love about space and its infinite possibilities. He learns that Keith is a good artist, and prefers drawing nature and space to anything else, but can still do amazingly realistic portraits. He learns that Keith has lived with his current foster family since he was twelve, and that this is the longest he’s stayed in one place in his entire life.

He learns that Keith was born with good hearing, but a degenerative disease caused his ears to slowly become less functional, and now he can’t hear anything without hearing aids. He learns that said degenerative disease could one day cause Keith to be completely deaf.

With Keith opening up to them and showing his true colors more and more, Lance comes to see that he really isn’t a violent person at all. When they hear stories of Keith’s fights from his point of view, they learn that most of the time, the other person was goading him or did something cruel that most definitely deserved a good hit. They learn that Keith sometimes has trouble controlling his emotions, and that when he gets angry or upset, it almost always ends badly. They learn that Keith doesn’t feel guilty for any of his outbursts, save one: the one with Lance.

That in itself is gives Lance goosebumps, and when Keith first tells them, he swears they’re both red in the face. Keith says he feels guilty for hitting Lance when he was just trying to help.

Of course, Lance forgives him - he already has, in his mind at least. Keith starts to adjust his old routes through the school so he can join the group on their way to class, suddenly appearing at Lance’s side from seemingly nowhere so they can walk to lunch together. And because he’s with their group most of the time, he gets halfway through the school year without a single fight.

The first time Lance learns anything substantial about Keith’s home life, he doesn’t even realize it.

It’s raining out - not the gentle, peaceful kind of rain, but the kind of rain that makes your skin ache and soaks you to the bone. The four of them made the regrettable decision to walk to the arcade instead of riding the bus straight home after school, and they spend a good twenty minutes racing through the downpour before they finally make it to Pidge’s house. 

Colleen Holt offers to dry everyone’s clothes and make them all hot chocolate, and offers to drive Lance, Hunk, and Keith home afterwards. Keith gently denies a ride home, even though Colleen insists that cycling home in the rain is a terrible idea, but then the storm slows into a sprinkle, so she stops pushing. Lance and Hunk have spent enough nights in the Holt household to have clothes there, and Pidge offers up some of her brother’s old clothes for Keith to wear.

Lance is mostly dry, snug and warm in a pair of blue lion-themed pajamas Pidge says are tacky when Colleen hands him some black plaid pants and a bulky maroon sweater that looks like it’s from the early 80s to give to Keith. He finds Keith in the upstairs bathroom, and when he pushes open the door that isn’t all the way closed, he catches Keith with his shirt halfway off, his back exposed and showcasing several colorful bruises painted along his spine.

Lance expects Keith to hide himself, and he’s right, as Keith whirls around and turns toward him, back now hidden against the wall. Lance turns his gaze to the floor and sets the stack of clothes on the bathroom counter. “Uh, Colleen wanted me to bring these to you...sorry for not asking if I could come in, that was bad manners. I’m just gonna…go. Now.” 

With that, Lance retreats out the door and pulls it shut, pointedly avoiding Keith’s gaze. However, the image of Keith’s violet eyes wide in shock stays in his head long after he’s back downstairs.

They don’t talk about that incident at all that night. Keith comes into the living room with his hair curtaining his face and takes a seat on the floor in front of the couch, right in front of where Lance is sitting cross-legged next to Hunk. He counts this as him being forgiven, and when their clothes are done drying and Colleen is piling everyone into the Holt family stationwagon, Lance’s eyes stay on Keith’s form until the car is too far away for him to see that mop of black hair.

Over the next few weeks, Lance’s gaze is on Keith more than ever before, and he starts to see ticks in his friend that he’d not quite seen for what they were previously. He catches on to the way Keith sits, arms tucked close to his body, back slightly hunched, as if he’s trying to occupy as little space as possible. He watches the way Keith is always hyper aware of his surroundings, how his gaze lingers on anyone who walks by their lunch spot, how he flinches whenever someone is too loud or when someone gets too close. How he never sits with his back to anyone, always sitting against a wall or tree or in a spot where he can see the entire courtyard.

Lance notices how he’s never seen Keith without his signature red hoodie on, sleeves all the way down and black fingerless gloves covering his hands. He notices how Keith’s hair is always left to curl around his neck and most of his face. He doesn’t have the same P.E. class as Keith, but according to Hunk, who does, Keith never changes into his uniform in front of others.

While Lance has no concrete evidence to back up his theory that Keith is being abused at home, the pieces of Keith’s behavior that suggest it are overwhelming.

One day, after at least two weeks of theorizing, Lance finds himself on the complete wrong side of town from where his house is. He’d taken a few wrong turns walking home from the arcade he was at with Pidge and Hunk - from whom he’d turned down rides, since Hunk and his mom weren’t going straight home and his house is further away than the Holts’ - and is suddenly in a neighborhood he’s never actually been in before except for on the school bus, and even then, he’s always so engrossed in conversing with Hunk he never really notices the scenery change.

The houses here are small, tiny, even, and all of them are in varying states of disrepair: yards of dead grass full of weeds and litter. Lance can’t help but feel rather uncomfortable in such an environment, and he’s on the verge of calling his mom to come pick him up when shouting from one of the houses catches his attention. 

It’s incredibly noisy, even though it’s at least two houses down from where Lance is standing. He can make out that the argument is centered around money, though he can’t tell what the two sides are, or distinguish between who’s yelling what. But then the shouting increases to full screeching and a door is thrown open with a crash that makes him think the door might have actually been broken, and a short frame stumbles out, a fist from inside the doorway connecting with their face and then pulling the door shut again.

It isn’t until the person is out in the yard that Lance recognizes them. It’s Keith, and the fact that his theory is suddenly being proven true makes his heart wrench in his chest.

Lance waits until Keith is collapsing onto the curb before he walks another two house’s distance so he’s at the edge of Keith’s brown lawn. Keith looks up and sees him before he can speak, and the look of pure shock mirrors the expression he was wearing that day so long ago when Lance caught him by surprise in Pidge’s bathroom. It’s a bookend, he thinks to himself; a moment in the beginning of a realization that happens later on, exactly the same.

“Lance?” Keith says, words quiet and stunned-sounding. 

Lance nods with an awkward half-smile and twiddles his thumbs in front of him, taking a few more small steps toward Keith. “Hey.”

As he steps closer, Lance can see Keith’s condition more clearly in the fading light. The street lamps flicker on just as he stops about two feet away from his friend, and suddenly he sees the way Keith’s ear is split open, blood trailing down the side of Keith’s face.

“God, Keith.” He says, taking a seat next to Keith on the curb, glancing back at the house with an ache in his stomach. 

Lance pulls his sleeve over his hand and inches toward the wound. Keith starts, leaning away, and Lance pauses. Their gazes meet and Lance feels his stomach sinking further when he can only interpret the expression on Keith’s face as fear. But then Keith’s features soften, and he lets Lance use his sleeve to wipe off the blood trailing down the side of his face. There’s only the sound of their own breathing and a dog barking somewhere in the distance, and Lance barely registers that he now has Keith’s blood all over the sleeve of his favorite jacket.

When the blood is mostly gone or dried onto skin, Lance carefully dislodges Keith’s hearing aid from his ear. It’s broken, a long crack going down the entirety of the speaker and exposing the wires within. Lance gives it to Keith, who looks down at it with a quiet huff. 

“This isn’t the first time this has happened, is it.” Lance says, more a statement than a question.

“...no,” Keith says. “But it is the first time he’s broken one of my hearing aids. Usually he avoids hitting near them, since they’re so expensive.”

“Why haven’t you told anyone? You could get him arrested. A guardian shouldn’t act like that.” 

“I know. I only live with him because he’s the only person in the area who could take me when I got kicked out of my previous foster home a while ago,” Keith explains, curling his fist around the hearing aid and pulling his knees to his chest. “And...there are a couple of reasons why I haven’t told anyone. Mostly because I don’t want to have to leave this neighborhood.”

Lance waits for Keith to continue, and he does.

“When I was younger, I had a foster brother. His name was Takashi Shirogane but everyone called him Shiro. We lived here together. We were really close, or...so I thought, at least.”

A car drives by, casting stark shadows against Keith’s face. Keith’s eyes dart to the ground, to Lance, to some point in the distance. But Lance can’t bring himself to look away.

“When he turned eighteen, he got kicked out and disappeared. I thought he would come back for me, even just to visit, but...he never did. But I don’t think he would just leave and never come back, you know? So I chose to stay here in case he ever comes back. He won’t be able to find me if I get sent to some other house in some other town.”

“Keith-”

“That’s not the only reason, though,” Keith interrupts him. “I was planning on running away, when I first started high school. He started treating me worse because he thinks I’m more of man now, since I’m older, so I should be able to take it. But then you spoke to me that one day, in the hall. And you invited me to sit with you and Pidge and Hunk, and you didn’t make it a one-time thing, either. You let me keep coming back, day after day.” 

Keith leans into Lance, and Lance lets him. “Did you know that you guys are the only friends I’ve ever had in my whole life, aside from Shiro?” 

“No, I didn’t know that.” Lance whispers. 

Keith doesn’t seem to have anything else to say, and Lance doesn’t know what else he can say, so they sit there in silence until Lance’s mom calls, demanding to know where he is. He explains that he got lost and that he stumbled across a friend’s house, and that he really doesn’t know where the hell he is. Keith supplies his home address and Lance’s mom says she’s on her way there. Silence falls once again when Lance hangs up.

“I should go back inside before your mom gets here.” Keith says after a moment.

“Keith, are you kidding?” Lance gapes. “You shouldn’t go back in there, period!”

“It’ll only be worse if I stay out overnight. And I don’t want to be a burden, not on you or your family or anyone else. I’ll be fine, Lance.”

Lance wants to argue that Keith’s definition of the word ‘fine’ has to be drastically skewed for it to apply right now, but he has a feeling it’ll only cause problems, so he says nothing. Keith stands, and Lance does the same, and before Lance can do so much as wipe the minuscule pieces of gravel off his jeans, Keith is hugging him and burying his face in the crook of his neck, carefully aiming his wounded ear away from Lance’s jacket to avoid getting any more blood on it. 

It’s Lance’s turn to be surprised - he’s never seen Keith hug anyone. Physical touch has been a slow thing for Keith. Pidge had to teach him what a fist-bump was. Yet, here he is, arms wrapped around Lance’s torso, fingers clinging to the fabric of his jacket as if Keith doesn’t want to leave him after all.

But then Keith is pulling away, and he says a quiet “seeya” before disappearing inside his house.

Lance almost expects the yelling to pick up again, but it doesn’t, and only a few minutes pass before he hears his mom’s voice  calling for him from her car a house over. He climbs into the passenger seat and apologizes for not having called earlier, and he vaguely explains that he got so caught up in talking to Keith that he didn’t notice the time passing by. It isn’t a lie - Lance doubts he’d ever be capable of lying to his mom - but it isn’t the whole truth, and while he wants to tell someone about what’s happening to Keith, it’s not his truth to tell.

And so he keeps it in, only half-listening as his mother recounts her day and blatantly ignoring his siblings as they start rambling about the chaos of life when he gets home. He sits through dinner without adding much to the conversation, and if anyone notices, they don’t say anything about it. His older sister gives him a dirty look when he misses her question about whether he’ll be bringing Pidge and Hunk over anytime soon, and he slips into his room before she can complain.

When Lance gets to school the next day, he pretends not to notice the lie in Keith’s story that the now-missing hearing aid fell out and got stepped on the day before.

A week later, Keith comes to school with a black eye and cut lip and a wrist that twitches whenever he tries to use it - the only injuries Lance has ever noticed outright, though he wonders if maybe he only noticed because he knows - and Lance decides he has to do something, whether Keith wants him to or not. 

Lance calls Pidge and Hunk over to his house that weekend under the pretense of a dinner with his family. It starts out just like any normal dinner with them over: Hunk helps cook dinner and chats avidly with Lance’s mom in the kitchen, Pidge beats Lance’s brothers at Mario Kart and effectively distracts them from bugging everyone else, and all of Lance’s siblings talk at a mile a minute to get ‘embarrassing school stories’ about Lance from both his friends. 

After dinner, Lance swiftly ushers Pidge and Hunk up to his bedroom and blocks the door with his desk chair to make up for his door not having a lock, placing both hands on his hips and turning to his friends with what he hopes is a serious expression that doesn’t betray the worry he feels for Keith. 

“Okay, why are you looking at us like that? You look like you’re about to scold us or something.” Pidge inquires, crossing her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow at Lance.

Lance lets the serious expression slide off his face and takes a seat in his desk chair against the door. “Um, so last week I found out where Keith lives by accident, and I kinda found out his foster dad is abusing him, and technically he never asked me not to say anything and he came to class the other day all injured and I honestly can’t ignore it now that I know, so. I want to do something, but I don’t really know what I should do, and you guys are smart so I thought you could tell me.”

“Whoa, that sounds like some pretty heavy stuff.” Hunk says, concern riddling his features.

Pidge nods and rests her chin in one hand, focusing on something across from her with pinched eyes. “We should definitely tell someone. But we shouldn’t involve the police right away, it might be too much for Keith. We should take it slow, subtle.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Lance agrees. “So who should we tell?”

“Your parents. They’re probably the best people for this. They’ll be understanding.” 

“Don’t you think Keith would be overwhelmed by my family, though?”

“Oh, definitely. You just have to be there to help him out when it gets too intense.”

Lance takes a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s do this then.”

One week later, Lance has a plan. 

His entire family ends up involved in it somehow, and Lance is grateful to have such a large family: it means he has a lot of support. Pidge and Hunk were eager to help - and their parents all agreed to help as well - and Lance has to admit that the two of them came up with most of the plan themselves. Lance just provided the most crucial part. An endgame.

The endgame? Getting Keith into a safe space: Lance’s home. 

Now, they just have to convince Keith to go along with it, without him actually knowing the plan.

Lance does his best to act like there’s nothing out of the ordinary. He doesn’t want Keith to be suspicious of anything, or worse- think Lance doesn’t like him now that he knows the truth.

He waves at Keith when he gets off the bus with Hunk. He groans when Keith reminds him they have a maths test in about fifteen minutes. He listens intently as Pidge rambles about how Matt’s supposed to be coming home next month, and that he’ll be bringing his college roommate.

When Hunk and Pidge split off to go to their own homerooms, Lance turns to Keith and begs for a run-down of the formulas they need to know for their test. He hasn’t studied; he was too caught up in planning to even remember. But he knows Keith studied. And even if he hadn’t, he knows Keith is too good at maths to not know. So he begs Keith for help. And, like the good friend he is, Keith does.

They spend the precious few minutes before the start of homeroom running through all the material they’d learned the past month, and by the time the bell rings, Lance feels at least a little bit prepared for the test.

(He still fails, which he doesn’t find out for another week, but he tried, and that’s what matters anyway, right?)

It isn’t until lunch period that their plan really goes into action.

“Hey, so my brother’s birthday is today,” Lance starts - and it isn’t a lie. “and my family’s got plans to bake him a cake and set up for like, his birthday party and whatnot. He’ll be at work until like seven pm, so my mom said I could invite you guys to come help with the setup.”

“Well, you know I’m coming. My moms already told me your mama invited them to do all the food prep.” Hunk answers immediately.

“I’ll call my mom and let her know. It’s not like I have plans or anything.” Pidge says.

They all look to Keith at exactly the same time, and for a split second, Lance is worried Keith will suspect the entire conversation is scripted (which it is), but he just looks awkward and nervous.

“You won’t be a burden if you decide you join us, y’know.” Lance says.

It must be like Lance was reading Keith’s thoughts, because Keith’s ears turn pink, and he shifts a little in his chair. Pidge and Hunk nod and hum in assent to Lance’s statement, and Keith looks to be considering his options: he can accept, and hang out with his friends in their home environment for the first time since that rainy day that feels so long ago, or he can decline, which would ruin Lance’s plan completely, however unintentional.

And either Keith is finally starting to truly warm up to them, or Lance is just plain lucky, because Keith smiles - a rare, toothy, beautiful smile - and says, “Sure. Why not?”

Lance beams in return, can see Hunk and Pidge beaming as well, half out of relief their plan is working and half out of pure happiness, because Keith is coming with them, and while it isn’t a big deal, really, Lance suspects all three of them see it as some kind of milestone.

With that part of their plan sorted, normal conversation resumes, and when the bell rings, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge share a thumbs up between each other the moment Keith’s back is turned. He doesn’t seem to suspect a thing, and Lance is grateful, because the entire plan hinges on Keith staying oblivious and not getting angry at Lance for concocting the plan in the first place.

Lance tries not to think about what’ll happen once Keith inevitably realizes he’s been betrayed.

After school ends, Lance calls his mom to come pick the four of them up, because Hunk is the only one who could actually ride home with him on the bus. She’s expecting his call. True to script, he asks if she can come get them, and she asks if it’s just going to be Hunk and Pidge. Lance feels himself smiling when he says “No, Keith’s gonna be coming too. I know you wanted to meet him.” and he can imagine she’s smiling, too, because aside from Hunk and Pidge, she was the first to accept Lance’s plan, and had dove headfirst into helping with the preparations.

They chatter rather aimlessly while they wait for Lance’s mom, everyone but Keith a little bit on edge with the secrets they’re keeping, and Lance is grateful it only takes her about five minutes to arrive (he suspects she may have already been in her car, ready to go, when he called).

“You must be Keith!” She says as they all pile into the car. “Lance has been chattering on about you for a while now, I almost thought he’d abandoned Hunk and Pidge completely!” 

Lance sputters, can feel his face growing red, can feel Hunk and Pidge’s eyes on him. He turns to look out the window, because he doesn’t want to see the knowing looks they’re surely giving him. And he doesn’t want to even imagine what kind of expression Keith has.

“I bet he just badmouths Keith for being better than him at everything.” Pidge says snidely.

“Hey!” Lance squawks, because he has absolutely been doing that, but no one needs to know. Especially not Keith himself. “He’s not better than me at everything! And I don’t badmouth!”

Lance can see his mother side-eyeing him, eyebrows raised. He knows she can see straight through his horrible attempt at saving himself from embarrassment. Which is pointless, because he’s already embarrassed. And, because she’s Maria McClain, he watches her smirk and roll her eyes as she turns her gaze back on the road and continues talking like nothing’s happened.

“So, how was school, then? Anything noteworthy happen?” She asks, perfectly mundane. “How did you do on that test you forgot to study for?”

Keith is chuckling in the backseat, Lance knows it, and he shoots the guy a look that he hopes conveys how utterly betrayed he feels. “Hey, I’ve been busy! Doing...stuff.” Right, because that wasn’t at all ominous. Keith just raises an eyebrow. “And besides, Keith helped me study! This morning. Before the test. That counts!” 

He doesn't sound at all convincing, but everyone is entertained to some degree, and while Lance kind of wants to point out how they’re all entertained at his expense, it’s nice to see a smile on their faces. With all the planning they’ve been doing and the nature of the situation at hand, it’s been a few days since Lance has seen Hunk’s eyes crinkle around the edges or heard Pidge’s full belly chortle. And Keith...well, he’s chuckling, and that’s something Lance recognizes as rare.

The ride from Alternia High School to the McClain residence is spent in constant chatter. Lance steers the conversation away from himself and his mistakes, and they get talking about cakes and party decorations and what kind of music should be played and oh yeah, Andi doesn’t even like cake, so what on Earth are they gonna do now? By the time they pull up to the quaint grey and white house Lance has known all his life, Hunk and Maria have narrowed down a list of four food choices to prepare in place of cake, and Pidge is playing space trivia with Keith in the back.

Toni and Camilla’s matching Frozen bikes are toppled over on opposite sides of the front lawn and on a normal day Lance would have been wondering who was watching them if they weren’t in the car with his mother, their full-time babysitter. But this isn’t a normal day. 

“Alright kids, let’s get to work!” Maria says, turning to wink at everyone before climbing out of the car, waving her hands in an encouraging gesture Lance immediately interprets as “hurry up.” His friends also grasp the message and soon they’re all clambering up the steps onto the front porch of the McClain residence. Maria kicks a basketball out of the way of the door and opens it with one hand while texting with the other, and, once inside, is nearly bowled over by small children.

“Tio Hunk, tio Hunk!” Toni and Camilla, their words overlapping as they interrupt each other and compete over who can manage to get to Hunk first. 

Hunk, to his credit, has mastered the role of ‘doting uncle’ and scoops them both up at the same time, one in each arm, and lets them throw their arms around his neck and pepper his cheeks with kisses. Pidge snickers into her hand, and Lance can see Keith trying not to laugh, too.

Lance puts on a fake pout and crosses his arms over his chest. “Hey hey hey, since when is Hunk the favorite uncle?”

“Since always!” Camilla says with a smile, giggling even more when Lance scowls.

“Oh, come on,” Pidge pats him on the back. “You can pout and complain over being abandoned later. We have a birthday party to set up, remember?”

Nodding, Lance lets Pidge wrap one hand around his arm and her other around Keith’s, and pull them both after Maria, who has disappeared into the kitchen. There are three other adults in the kitchen already - Lance’s father, who appears to be rummaging through kitchen drawers; and Hunk’s moms, who are greeting Maria with kisses on the cheek and both seem to be holding an assortment of dishware. His sister Melissa is standing on a step-stool in the living room, holding a roll of red paper streamers and looking incredibly bored. Half the roll is already taped up on the wall and Lance wonders why the hell she isn’t taping the rest of it up instead of standing there.

“Did you find any tape yet, dad?” She calls across the room, sounding annoyed.

“Not yet, just be patient! Why do we have so much junk in these drawers?!” John McClain calls back, sounding equally as annoyed..

Ah, that makes sense.

“You should have told me we needed tape earlier, I could’ve grabbed some on my way home!” Maria says. Lance watches her cross her arms and frown disappointedly at his father.

It’s quite funny, actually, how easily she can throw even her own husband into instant regret.

“I didn’t know we were out of tape in the whole house! I could have sworn we had more in one of these drawers, but we have so much random crud in them that even if we do have more, I don’t think I’d be able to find any if I looked around for ten thousand years!”

“Still, I think tape is a pretty important thing for a birthday party, don’t you agree?”

“Are they fighting?” Pidge asks quietly, leaning close to Lance’s ear, as if trying to be discreet. “I thought it was impossible for your parents to fight.”

Lance laughs a little to himself. “Oh, trust me, they fight sometimes, and this is not it.”

John and Maria are still bickering over the obvious importance of tape in any kind of situation that involves decorating, and Hunk bypasses all of it to offer his personal tape roll to Melissa, who looks like she’s about ready to keel over from holding her arm up so long. She smiles gratefully and continues hanging the length of streamers, carefully climbing down the step ladder to move it a few feet over before climbing back up to curl and hang more. It looks amazing, Lance thinks.

“Tio Lance, whos’ that?” Camilla says, tugging on Lance’s sleeve and pointing at Keith. 

“That’s Keith,” Lance answers with a smile. “He’s my friend, like Hunk and Pidge. And I think,” Lance leans in close to Camilla’s ear, Toni leaning in to eavesdrop. “He could use some hugs.”

Toni and Camilla nod very seriously, turning toward Keith with a synchronized rhythm that could actually be considered quite creepy, like they’re the twins from The Shining or some shit. Keith, who has clearly been watching the conversation - most likely because it was about him - has a very quizzical expression on his face and Lance puts on his best evil grin as he watches Toni and Camilla practically barrel into Keith’s legs, wrapping their arms around him as best they can.

Pidge full-out belly laughs at how completely out of his league Keith looks, hands hovering above Camilla and Toni’s heads like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to hug them back, but then they’re giggling and he smiles, genuinely smiles, and his gloved hands rest on their shoulders as they rub their noses on his calves. Lance doesn’t mention that they might be wiping off actual snot.

“You’re tio Keith now!” Toni tells Keith, clearly not willing to accept rejection. “Come help us with our project! It’s the most important project of the whole party, mama said!”

“The most important? What is it?” Keith questions.

“Decorations! The plate ones!” Camilla yells in Keith’s ear. “We have to make ‘em ‘cause mama  said a party has to have plate pictures! The best ones!” 

“From the best artists, mama said!” Toni agrees, beaming.

“Wow,” Keith says, crouching to Toni and Camilla’s height. “That really is the most important.”

That feedback seems to be the final building block in Toni and Camilla’s easy love of Keith, since as soon as they hear him reiterating how important their job is, they each grab one of his arms and almost make him fall over in their haste to drag him over to what Lance assumes is their designated “decorating area” in a corner of the living room. They spout out questions on if Keith is a good artist and what kinds of things he can draw, and Lance finds himself simply waving the three of them off when Keith looks back at him and Pidge, as if asking what to do.

“Do you think we should save him? I doubt they’re gonna give him back unless you go tell them he has a different job to do.” Pidge asks.

“Nah,” Lance says. “This’ll keep him busy so we can talk to mama and the others.”

“Fair enough.”

While Keith is occupied with drawing on the paper plates Toni and Camilla hand him - turns out he’s a really good artist, who knew? - Lance drifts from person to person in the most natural ways he can, making sure everyone knows what’s going on with Keith. He takes Melissa’s place hanging the streamers when she complains about her arm being sore. He relieves his father of the search for tape by telling him Hunk had some, because apparently no one had done that yet. He hunts down and cleans some dishes Lily and Sunny Garrett needed but couldn’t find.

He, Hunk and Pidge drift past each other while helping prepare and trade information, some of it useful - like Pidge’s discovery that Andi will be home an hour early because of an unexpected hour change due to the time of year - and some of it not - like Hunk’s unnecessary comment on how Lance keeps glancing at Keith and is eventually gonna give them away. Which actually is helpful, now that he thinks about it, but the smirk and eyebrow wiggle Hunk gives him really isn’t.

When the brunt of the preparations are done, Lance breaks away from setting the table to grab the paper plate decorations Toni, Camilla, and Keith were meant to be making. He finds his niece and nephew practically laying on top of Keith, whose face is almost obscured by carpet as he valiantly tries to continue drawing what looks to be Camilla in a princess dress while the two kids are bouncing up and down on his back, clearly having gotten bored with coloring.

Or maybe less bored with coloring, and more intrigued by Keith. Lance doesn’t know which.

Keith looks up when Lance approaches, and Lance effortlessly scoops Toni off Keith’s back. Toni protests with an obnoxious whine but doesn’t make any attempts to get up when Lance sits cross-legged on the carpet and plops the boy down in his lap. Camilla stops bouncing and Lance is pretty sure he hears Keith heave a sigh of relief, but he doesn’t mention it.

“How are the decorations going, kids?” He asks, ruffling Toni’s hair. 

“Uber good!” “Good!” Toni and Camilla say, their sentences overlapping. “Keith is uber good at drawing! Just like us!” Camilla continues. 

“Uber good? Where did you learn that?” Lance questions.

“Lourdes!” 

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Is Lourdes your other sister?” Keith asks, eyes still on his paper plate drawing. “You’ve never talked about her before, just Melissa.”

“Yeah, she’s the middle sister. Melissa’s the oldest, then Andi, Lourdes, me, and then these two little pains in the butt.” Lance explains, ignoring Toni and Camilla’s whining about being insulted.

“So you’re technically the baby of the family, then.”

Keith still doesn’t look up from his drawing, but Lance can see the corners of his mouth quirk up and knows he’s smirking, as if this were some funny joke. Which it isn’t. Toni and Camilla laugh at it anyway, and Lance frowns. “Maybe! But that doesn’t mean I’m any less mature!”

“Oh right, as if Lance and mature even belong in the same sentence.” Says a new voice.

Lance turns to find Lourdes standing right above him, holding two huge paper grocery bags and looking like she’d just rolled out of bed despite it being early evening. One of the perks of college, Lance supposes- everyone’s too Done and Tired to care about appearances anymore. 

“Okay, first of all, rude,” Lance snaps, scowling up at his sister with his hands on his hips. “And also, what the actual heck do you have in those bags?”

“Four lemon curd cheesecakes, a box of those vegan pumpkin cookies Melissa likes, and about six rolls of tape. Mom texted me to get some stuff because apparently she completely forgot that Andi doesn’t like cake and needed an emergency backup. Lucky I wasn’t home yet.” Lourdes replies, ignoring his scowl. Her eyes land on Keith and she raises an eyebrow. “Who’s he?”

Lance stops scowling and Keith finally looks up from his drawing, confused and maybe a little bit sheepish. Lance opens his mouth to answer, but Toni and Camilla beat him to the punch.

“He’s Keith!” “He’s Lance’s friend!” “He helped us with our pictures!” “Yeah, he’s uber good!” The two of them talk over each other, as always, but their explanation (if it can even be called that) gets across well enough. Lourdes smiles at Keith and Keith tentatively smiles back, grunting in discomfort as Camilla flips positions on his back to gesture wildly at his drawing. “He’s drawing me as a princess!” She says, beaming from ear to ear like it’s the best news in the whole world.

“Whoa, that’s pretty cool!” Lourdes sets the paper bags to the side and crouches down next to Lance and Toni, peeking at Keith’s drawing and whistling. “And it is uber good, just like you said.”

“Yeah, uber good!” Toni parrots. 

Keith mumbles out a “thank you” and watches Lourdes ruffle both Toni and Camilla’s hair before standing back up again to take the paper bags to the kitchen. Lance watches her go. In any other situation, he would’ve expected her to tease him- because yeah, he’d talked about Keith a lot, even before he’d involved his entire family in his plan. He’s still kind of surprised she didn’t tease him, even a little bit, but the smarter part of him knows it’s because she doesn’t want to make it obvious that everyone in Lance’s family knows who Keith is, even if it wouldn’t be that strange.

“Lance! We need to get the desserts set up, come help get this cheesecake on the table.” Maria yells as she makes her way over to them. “Toni, Camilla, go ahead and put your decorations up.” 

Toni and Camilla scramble to gather all the paper plates strewn about the living room floor. Keith helps them and lets the two kids drag him to the dining room table, showcasing where to put the paper plate art and chattering on about how “the angle has to be perfect” or something similar. Maria reaches Lance’s side and walks with him toward the kitchen where the cheesecakes are.

“It looks like he’s opening up. That’s a good thing.” She says, smiling warmly at the three. Lance knows she’s talking about Keith, and his own gaze falls on the boy. He nods. 

“Have you figured out how you’re going to explain this all to him?” 

“Not yet.”

Lance can feel his mama’s gaze on him, and he just keeps watching Keith. He watches him struggle to get one of the half-bent paper plates to stay neatly upright against a bowl of oranges, watches Toni and Camilla watch him, waiting, watches them applaud when he moves away and the plate doesn’t topple over. Then one of them bumps the table and causes it to fall, and they both start apologizing profusely while Keith looks on like he’s waiting for death’s sweet release.

“You’ve been brave with this plan, mijo.” Maria says, tucking an arm around Lance’s middle. “You know Keith might not react well. He’s probably going to be hurt, if he’s as guarded and private as you tell me. But I think it’s good that you’re here for him. Sounds like he needs it.”

Lance rests his chin on her head. “Yeah, I know he does. I just hope he doesn’t hate me after.”

Andi hadn’t been included in any of the plans for helping Keith, since it was all meant to overlap with a Super-Secret-Birthday-Bash Andi couldn’t know about, so the shocked expression on his face when he comes home to a horde of people screaming “happy birthday” at him in varying volumes is entirely genuine. He leaps about a foot in the air and the (empty) plastic cup he’d been holding goes flying across the entryway, almost hitting Sunny Garrett in her smiling face.

“The fuck?!” He yells, half-glaring at everyone.

“Language, mijo!” Maria yells back, though she’s still smiling from ear to ear. She pulls him down to her height and presses a kiss to his cheek. “It’s your birthday! Your surprise birthday party!

Andi makes a face like he’s constipated and then tilts his head, eyebrows going upward in a yeah-that-makes-sense fashion. “I feel like I should have expected this.”

“Well, it’s good that you didn’t, it would have ruined the surprise. Now come on, we got you cheesecake.” Maria pats him on the back and leads him out of the entryway, toward the kitchen. As she passes by where Lance is standing with Hunk and Pidge, she nods to Keith - still stuck in a Toni-Camilla sandwich - then winks and keeps moving. Andi notices the exchange and shoots Lance a confused look. Lance just shrugs. He’ll have to explain everything later.

For now, he has a message to pass on: it’s time to make Keith Kogane a McClain.

(Or, well, get him used to the McClains. Saying they’re gonna make him a McClain is weird. Like he’s gonna marry into the family or something, which is definitely not what’s happening here.)

(Later, Lance sees that Keith does become a McClain, as wholly as if he’d been born one.)

Dinner is a whirlwind of energy, with the ever-so-embarrassing Happy Birthday song ritual that has Andi’s ears turning red and food being passed around and everyone talking at once with at least four separate conversations going on at any given minute. Everyone’s eager to talk to Keith, and if it were anyone else’s birthday Lance would probably feel terrible for his friend taking the spotlight, but it’s Andi, and one glance at his brother confirms that Andi’s most likely grateful to have the attention on someone else so he can eat his cheesecake in the rare, temporary peace.

Keith is introduced, a little belatedly, to everyone at the party and they all take their turns making conversation with him, asking about his art and how classes are going and if Lance is just as annoying at school as he is at home. Lily and Sunny ask him for an opinion on the pizza they’d all had for dinner, and when he expresses his gratitude, they start on about whether or not he likes cooking or baking. Turns out, he’s never actually baked anything in his life, and the only thing he knows how to cook on his own is mac & cheese. The women look personally offended.

They promise to teach him how to cook at least a few basic dishes sometime, and Lance smiles to himself at the barely-there grin on Keith’s face when Sunny ruffles his hair.

Lance gets roped into a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos by Toni and Camilla, and he loses every round because he’s too distracted, watching Lourdes and Keith where they’re sitting on the floor across the living room. He can’t hear what they’re saying, but by the time the game is over, Keith is bright red and Lourdes is cackling like a Disney villain. Which she is. Lance swears.

Melissa gathers Toni and Camilla and bids everyone goodbye over the sounds of their protests. “We’ll be back tomorrow morning, calm down.” She says, when Camilla starts crying.

“But tio Keith won’t be here tomorrow!”

Lance thinks it’s adorable how attached to Keith the two had become over the course of the evening. Camilla continues to sob and Toni looks like he’s on the edge of crying too, and Melissa sighs, probably bone tired. Lance moves to try and calm them, but then Keith is crouching low to hug the both of them, still looking totally out of his element but perhaps a little less terrified.

“Hey, I’ll come back and visit sometime, okay?” He says. Toni and Camilla nod. “I promise.”

The two siblings cling to Keith a little longer before pulling back and hurrying to their mama, sobs replaced by little baby sniffles. They all wave until the door is closed behind them. 

“So, who’s up for some MarioKart?” Pidge suggests, raising an eyebrow..

“Oh hell yeah! I’m gonna whoop your butt, Holt!” Lourdes easily accepts the challenge.

Pidge, Lourdes, Lance, Keith, and Hunk all end up crowded on the living room couch, trading off controllers whenever one person loses. Both Lance and Lourdes’ legs are in Hunk’s lap, and every once in a while he makes a face at their feet, though he makes no move to push them off. Pidge is sitting with her neck up against Lourdes’ side and the rest of her body flopping over the armrest like a limp noodle, and Keith is squished into the space between Lance and the other end of the couch, hands leaning on the armrest to avoid getting bumped by Lance’s elbows.

It’s mundane, and familiar, and comfortable, and Keith looks so relaxed, and Lance prays that it means his plan is working. He prays that Keith will understand, once everything is explained. He prays that Keith won’t hate him and run away and refuse help like he did before.

He prays that, no matter whether this fantastical plan succeeds or fails, Keith will be safe.

Lance’s nerves get the better of him, and he gets no higher than seventh place on any round. Pidge and Lourdes wipe the floor with all of them, expectedly, stealing first place from each other over and over until they’ve got about the same amount of wins. Keith does surprisingly well for a MarioKart beginner and Lance finds himself watching Keith more than he’s playing the game. 

Thoughts swim in his head of the worst possible outcome of the night, where Keith calls him a traitor, storms out of the house, and refuses to talk to Lance ever again. He imagines what he’ll say, what he’ll do, what expression will be on his face. He imagines what would happen if Keith just… went with it. If he easily accepted that Lance just wanted to help, and chose to stay. That’s the outcome Lance wants, and he’s more than a little bit terrified of the other possibilities.

He wants Keith to let him help, wants Keith to be safe, wants Keith to be happy. 

Lance’s hasn’t been in the game for several rounds now, and he only half-notices Pidge’s eighth win of the night. He’s staring at Keith’s fourth place ranking when Maria calls for them all to come into the kitchen for cocoa. There’s a lot of shuffling and stumbling and Lourdes almost falls on her face, but they all make it into the kitchen laughing and smiling from ear to ear.

He and Keith are the last ones into the kitchen, and he watches his mama gently tap Keith on the shoulder and usher him back out of the room, handing him a mug of cocoa on the way. And oh fuck, here we go. Lance holds his cup but doesn’t drink. He tunes out the MarioKart character stat debate going on beside him, is too busy watching his mom and Keith. He knows what they must be talking about- knows she must be explaining their plans to Keith. It’s nerve-wracking.

Lance knows the exact moment Keith realizes that everyone who was at that party, aside from Andi, is 100% aware of everything going on in Keith’s life. He knows because Keith’s head snaps around and sharp eyes land on him- glaring, cutting holes in his skull, full of hurt and anger.

This is what Lance was scared of.

Keith turns away, and Lance feels his stomach plummeting into the ground. Does Keith hate him now? What’s he thinking, of course Keith hates him now. How could he have thought everything would work out just fine? They’re not in a damn fairytale- this is real life, with Lance’s real friend, whose secrets he’s spilled to practically everyone he knows. Lance knows his intentions were good, but does that really outweigh the fact that he’s meddling in Keith’s life? They haven’t even been friends for that long. A couple months at most. Lance has no right to tell Keith what to do.

No more than two minutes into Lance’s staring-off-into-space-silent-guilt-parade and movement snaps him out of his thoughts, and Lance watches Keith storm around the living room, collecting his things. No one is talking about MarioKart now. Everyone is watching Keith.

“Keith, mijo, at least let me drive you home. It’s late.” Maria asks, her face full of concern.

Keith shakes his head, avoiding eye contact, and yanks his shoes on. He looks back at Lance and Lance feels like he might crumble under that gaze, because Keith is fucking pissed.

The front door opens and Keith leaves, closing the door behind him, and without really thinking, Lance races after him. He’s wearing socks and cargo shorts and it’s past dark in late autumn, and he’s freezing the second he walks out the door. “Keith!” He yells, his feet already sore from running on cold pavement. “Keith, wait!” Keith is fast, and he doesn’t slow down.

Lance catches up and has to stop himself from grabbing at Keith’s arm, because the last thing he wants right now is for Keith to react on impulse and get them in another bad situation.

“Keith, please listen to me! I just wanted to help-”

“Help?!”

Keith whirls around and Lance takes a stumbling step back. Keith is glaring at him, expression clear even in the dim street lighting. He looks small, somehow, his shoulders hunched in and his arms pulled close, hands balled into fists at his sides that Lance can’t help but stare at. 

“Do you really think spilling my private life to everyone you know is gonna help?! What if they tell the police?! What do you think is gonna happen?!”  

“He’s abusing you, Keith!” Lance says, trying not to shout. “What if we can get him arrested?”

“And what if you do?! Lance, the whole reason I haven’t told anyone about this is because when social services finds out, they’re gonna relocate me. Another family, another town- that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to avoid! I finally made friends, I don’t want to leave. But you know what? It doesn’t matter now, because clearly the friends I made don’t care about my fucking privacy.”

Keith’s words sting, like little needles stabbing into his skull, and Lance says nothing. Keith looks angry, and hurt, and there are tears in the corners of his eyes that twinkle in the lamplight. What can Lance say to him? After all that? Keith’s right. Lance fucked up. There’s nothing else to it.

Lance watches Keith turn around and leave. He stands there on the pavement until Keith’s form disappears around a corner and then he stands there a little longer, because he’s… in shock. 

This is what he was afraid of. This was the worst case scenario.

Finally, when Lance’s socked feet are numb and his whole body is shivering, he turns his back on where Keith’s gone and walks back up to the house, where Maria, Lourdes, Hunk, and Pidge are all waiting just inside the door, the same expression of concern mirrored across their faces.

“He left.” Lance says. “I- I fucked up. Really bad.” 

“Oh, mijo, this isn’t your fault. You did what you thought was right.” Maria says, pulling him into her arms. “Sometimes, when we do something out of love, it backfires. That isn’t our fault.”

“I don’t think Keith’s had a lot of love in his life. Maybe he just doesn’t understand.” Hunk adds.

Lance nods against his mama’s shoulder, and she pets his hair for a bit. Once they all discover how freezing cold Lance is, they gather around to smother him with blankets from the couch and Maria makes another round of cocoa for everyone. Conversation is slow and strained, and Lance tries to tune out most of it, but every time he slips into feeling absolutely miserable about hurting Keith, Hunk or Pidge or Lourdes says something funny that has him giggling despite it all.

When the cocoa is gone Maria finally ushers everyone to bed, and Lance ends up in his room with Pidge and Hunk shoved in next to him on the bottom bunk. 

“What should we do now?” Lance asks into the dark, Pidge’s hair tickling his cheek.

Hunk, already half asleep, mumbles into his shoulder. “Just give him space. He’ll come ‘round.”

Keith does not come ‘round. At least, not very quickly.

When Lance and Hunk get of the bus on Monday morning, Keith doesn’t wave at them from his bike, doesn’t follow them to where Pidge always waits, doesn’t walk with Lance to maths. 

Keith doesn’t give Lance so much as a side-eye during class, and Lance says nothing. 

It’s like they’ve gone back to the first weeks of school, when Keith was just “that kid who punched me that one time” and Lance was “the one who got in the way.” Keith doesn’t walk with them to their classes, doesn’t sit with them at lunch, doesn’t share his notes with Lance or argue about the probability of aliens with Pidge or let Hunk fuss over his hair like a surrogate mother.

And Lance says nothing. Keith has every right to avoid him- to avoid all of them. Lance feels bad that he’s ruined Pidge and Hunk’s friendship with Keith too, just by getting them involved. But he does his best to stay positive, to not let what happened with Keith drag him down too much.

(He lies. It eats away at him as he tries to sleep, and no matter how many times Hunk or Pidge or his mama try to tell him it’ll all work out, Lance can’t seem to figure out how it possibly could.)

Around a week and a half passes before Keith approaches them again, and when he does, he has another black eye over the one that had finally started to heal, a gash on his eyebrow, and a thick ring of bruises around his throat that have Lance’s stomach churning. When he looks Keith in the eye his heart sinks too, because Keith’s expression isn’t angry, or hurt, just… tired. 

“Dude, you look like you’ve lost a Kaiju battle or something.” Pidge blurts out. 

Lance blanks, because what the fuck, Pidge?! But then he hears Keith actually laugh- not quite a happy laugh, more the awkward kind of laugh, the kind of laugh you laugh when it feels like the world’s falling to pieces around and you have to laugh because if you don’t you’ll just start crying.

“Yeah, well,” Keith says, his voice cracked and raw. “It definitely feels that way.”

Pidge snorts, and Hunk sighs, and Lance stares at Keith. He should say something. But what? Apologize? He already has, and Keith didn’t take it too well. Should he explain himself? He thinks that might make Keith even angrier- it would sound like Lance thinks Keith is weak and helpless.

But Keith doesn’t want to talk about the failed “rescue mission” half-disguised as Andi’s birthday party. Keith doesn’t mention it at all, just asks, “Can I sit with you guys?”

No one answers. Pidge and Hunk are clearly waiting for Lance to make the call, and Lance appreciates the gesture, even though he doesn’t think it’s earned. Keith waits, not mentioning the fight they had or how Lance betrayed him or even anything more about his wounds. Keith waits, watching Lance watch him, and Lance thinks that Keith’s question never needed to be asked.

“Of course you can.”

For the first time in what feels like an eternity, they’re all together, joking and laughing and poking fun at each other, just like friends should. Keith is smiling, and laughing, and Lance is happy. 

When they all get out of class at the end of the day, Keith is waiting for them in the main hallway. He seems nervous, more nervous than he had at lunch, but he debates with Pidge the logic or not-logic of a comic series they apparently both read and Lance decides not to mention it. Hunk joins in on their debate once he has a better picture of the context and Lance listens with a laugh, not really understanding any of it but enjoying the ridiculous things they use to justify their side.

They all say hi to Mrs. Holt and wave dramatically at Pidge as their stationwagon pulls out of the parking lot, and Keith falls behind as Lance and Hunk make for their bus. Hunk goes on ahead with a playful nudge at both of them and Lance pauses, watches Keith, tries not fidget.

Keith looks at him and his expression is sad, almost desperate. “Lance, I’m really sorry about the other night. You didn’t deserve to get yelled at. You were just trying to help me, and I didn’t want to admit I needed help. I just- I’m not used to people being nice to me. It caught me off guard, still does, and I think I didn’t know how to cope with your family treating me like I’m… one of them. So I picked the first excuse I could to get mad and I treated you like actual shit. I’m really sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, you had every reason to get mad-” Lance starts.

“No, I really didn’t!” Keith interrupts him, quietly catching himself with a whispered apology. “You wanted to help me, and you did what you thought would help. You told people you trusted and I got mad at you for it. That’s not fair. It’s not fair for me to reject you when you’re just trying to be a good friend. I think I understand what that means now, y’know. Being someone’s friend.”

Lance finds himself smiling, because this is what he wanted Keith to understand- that he has friends, people who love him and care about him and want him to be safe. He wanted Keith to understand that he has people who want to help him. People that will help him, if he asks.

“Keith,” Lance says, holding a hand out for Keith to take, if he wants. “Wanna come to my house tonight? You did promise you’d visit Toni and Camilla again sometime.”

Keith stares at him for a moment, and Lance wonders if maybe he should have said more, if he should explain more of his process or how much his family loves Keith or apologize again, even though Keith doesn’t seem to think he’s at fault. He wonders if this is too forward, asking him to come over again like it’s not big deal. He wonders if Keith will say yes after all that’s happened.

Keith smiles, shy and small and real. He takes Lance’s hand, and says, “Yes, please.”

That night, when Lance and Keith are snuggled up in blankets on different bunks in Lance’s bed, Lance explains to Keith every aspect of his plans to get Keith into a safer place.

Keith listens, doesn’t say anything until Lance is finished. A heavy silence hangs between them.

“How many people were involved?” He asks.

Lance counts on his fingers. “Well, my whole family, aside from like, Toni and Camilla. And Andi, since we couldn’t tell him about the party. Hunk’s moms, Hunk and Pidge, Pidge’s parents- we had backup plans in case you’d rather stay with Pidge or Hunk than me. So… ten people?”

That heavy silence falls again, and Lance finds himself fidgeting, anxious and impatient. He picks at hanging threads from the mattress above him, fiddles with the hem of his blanket, and waits.

Finally, a reply. “That’s a lot of people.”

“Yeah.”

“That means I’m important to you, doesn’t it?”

Lance blanks, for a second, then smiles from ear to ear, because yes, Keith finally gets it. “Hell yeah you’re important to me, dude! You’re one of my best friends now! That makes you a VIP.”

Lance hears Keith’s soft, raspy laugh echo in the darkness of the room. “Sweet.”

Just like how Keith became a part of Lance’s little friend group in no time at all, Keith becomes a part of the McClain family pretty much within the span of a single night. 

No one so much as bats and eyelash when Keith joins them at the breakfast table the morning after his first night staying over, and in the week since, he’s had personalized allergy-free lunches made for him by Maria, had an hour long Nicolas Sparks debate with Andi, and had his makeup done by Melissa, Lourdes, and Toni and Camilla, all on separate occasions. 

(And yes, Lance forced his mama to take pictures on each of those separate occasions.)

Maria drives them to and from school, picking up Hunk along the way most days. She takes him and Keith out to buy coats and new jeans, because Keith didn’t bring a whole lot with him when he left home and he doesn’t actually have a good winter coat, which is sacrilege in her eyes. 

Lance offers up his own bedroom to share with Keith, and at first he’s nervous. He’s always had a hard time sleeping with others in the room, because he’s a restless sleeper. He moves around a lot. He makes noise. Growing up, Andi constantly complained about being kept up by Lance shaking the bed, until finally Melissa moved out and Lourdes offered to share with him. 

Keith? Keith does not complain. Keith sleeps like a rock. It usually takes Lance a good while to fall asleep, even with his earbuds in playing ocean songs and all possible light blocked out by an eye mask. Keith, however, simply lays down and passes out, and does not move until he wakes.

It’s almost like we were meant to be, Lance thinks. The sentiment makes him giggle.

Everyone adores Keith, dotes on him and teases him and treats him like he’s been a part of the household from the very beginning. Lance can’t help but wish that Keith never has to leave.

(Lance worries. He worries so much. When they turn onto the main hall in school one day and Keith’s foster dad is standing there, talking to a teacher, and Keith looks so pale and small and scared, Lance grabs his arm and guides him to another exit, Hunk doing his best to calm Keith and Pidge watching behind them like a hawk watching for a potential predator. Keith stays home from then on and Maria lets him. And Lance worries. How long, exactly, can all of this last?)

“Is Toni gonna die?” 

Lance looks at Camilla and resists the urge to smile, because despite the nature of her question, she doesn’t seem even the slightest bit concerned for her brother’s well-being. 

“No, Camilla, he just has the flu. He’s not gonna die.” He says, patting her on the back.

Camilla turns and glares at him for making her stumble and Lance has to hide his smile behind a hand. She finishes off the braid she’s doing in Keith’s hair and turns to Lance, holding it out in his direction with the most begrudging expression a five-year-old can have. She’s Melissa’s kid, that’s for damn sure. Lance takes the end of the braid and ties off the elastic for her.

“All done! Look, look, look!” Camilla says with sudden enthusiasm, shoving a plastic play mirror into Keith’s hands so he can see the masterpiece that is his new hairdo.

Camilla has spent a good fifteen or twenty minutes twisting three smaller braids into one gigantic plait that’s about as wide as Keith’s head, with bumps at different angles and crooked chunks of braid and little hairs that didn’t quite fit into the plaits sticking out every which way. It looks terrible, Lance thinks, but in the cute, learning-curve kind of way that can only really be achieved when you have a five-year-old who has only ever done the hair of dolls decide to give you a makeover.

Lance fully expects Keith’s face to contort into something that portrays how much Camilla might need to practice, but Keith just smiles, turning the mirror this way and that to get a view of every angle he possibly can. He’s beaming, and Camilla is beaming, and Lance fucking giggles.

How can a guy who didn’t know what a fist bump was a few months ago, be so good with kids?!

“It’s amazing, Camilla,” Keith says, handing her back the mirror and feeling along the plaits with his fingers. “I love it. Thank you.”

Camilla squeals and throws her arms around Keith, probably dislodging part of the braid as she jumps up and down in her excitement. Keith has spent long enough in the McClain house to be very much used to Toni and Camilla’s boundless energy, and he just laughs, a soft, comfortable laugh, gently patting the braid back into place (still crooked, but a little better) when Camilla stills.

The three of them are all bundled up in late-autumn-early-winter-weather clothes, sat outside on the front walk to avoid contracting the flu from Toni and getting sick themselves. Lance is sat on the steps of the porch with his jacket pulled up as far as it’ll get on around his neck, while Keith and Camilla are on the walkway with a few blankets between their butts and freezing concrete.

It’s been ten days since Keith started staying at the McClain house, three days since he stopped attending school, and Lance feels an ache in his stomach, like their luck is going to run out soon.

An unfamiliar car pulls into the driveway.

At first, Lance eyes the car with vacant curiosity. Their house is at the dead-end of a street and it isn’t uncommon for their driveway to be used as a turn-around for lost drivers. 

One glance in Keith’s direction and Lance instantly knows that something is very, very wrong.

Keith looks scared. His face is ashen, eyes blown wide, hands gripping the blanket beneath him like a lifeline even as he scoots in front of Camilla almost on instinct. Lance is on his feet and moving toward them before the car door can open. And when it does, all hell breaks loose.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” The man shouts, in a voice Lance barely recognizes from that night so long ago. “You fucking ran off for an entire week, you think you have the right?!” 

Lance doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know what to say, it’s like a horror movie is happening in front of him. The man shoots out a hand and grabs at Keith’s hair like a murderous villain, lifting him off the ground and dragging him a good few feet forward, as if Keith weighed nothing at all. 

“Get off, asshole!” Keith shouts, kicking at the man and shoving at his hand, trying to dislodge the fingers tangled in his hair. “Fucking let go!” 

Without thinking, Lance lunges for Keith and pushes at the man’s hands, shouting for him to let the fuck go and fuck off, what right does he have to treat Keith like this? Camilla is wailing and Keith is swearing and Lance is shouting and the man is yelling at Keith for being a brat and disobeying curfew, what a fucking idiot, how dare he. If there was a neighborhood watch, surely someone would have called the cops by now, with all the noise they’re making.

Lance takes an elbow to the face and stumbles, falling on his ass and catching himself with one hand that he’ll definitely be picking rocks out of with tweezers later. Keith is screaming his name and then screaming curses at the world. Keith’s foster dad kicks the feet out from under him and Lance watches Keith get manhandled, kicking and scratching and biting, toward the man’s car.

Lance climbs back onto his feet and a door opens, but not a car door- the front door of the house is thrown open, and Lance doesn’t think he’s ever been so grateful to see his dad’s face. 

John McClain, Captain of Lions Beach Police Station, walks out like the eye of a storm, calm and collected. He lifts one hand out at Lance as a cue to stay right where he is and Lance does stay. He hears Camilla’s cries soften and turns to find his mother in the doorway, one arm cradling a coughing Toni and the other holding Camilla close, both kids’ faces pressed up against her and shielded from the drama. When she catches Lance’s gaze, she smiles, small but reassuring.

“Let him go and put your hands up!” John demands, loud and stern.

Keith’s foster father pauses, but only to glare at John as if he were the scum of the Earth. “Why the hell should I listen to you? You kidnap my kid and then think you can order me around?!”

John pulls out his badge, and the man suddenly looks very, very scared. He drops Keith instantly.

Keith scrambles to his feet and runs for the house, grabbing at Maria’s sleeve as soon as he’s near. Lance picks up Camilla so Maria has a free arm to hug Keith. He can feel Keith shaking, can hear his heavy breathing, but his eyes refuse to leave his dad and the scene before them.

“John Doe, you are under arrest for trespassing and assault. You have the right to remain silent.” John pins the man up against his own car and handcuffs him. There’s a police siren in the distance. “If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you…”

A police car pulls up to the driveway just as John is finished, and out climbs two officers Lance vaguely recognizes, probably from some potluck or another. The two new officers take over and Keith’s foster father disappears into the police car. A minute later, an ambulance pulls up.

“Lance, mijo, take Toni for me, okay?” 

Lance sets Camilla down and takes Toni, who is fast asleep despite the chaos. Maria kisses all three of them on the head before wrapping both arms around Keith and starting down the steps. 

“I called Melissa and Lourdes, they’ll be home soon as they can be. I need you to stay here for a little while, okay? Take care of Toni and Camilla?” Maria says, her smile strained.

‘Why can’t we go with you?’ Lance wants to ask. But he knows why. There’s no telling how long it will take to sort out everything that’s just happened, no telling what will happen to Keith or if they’ll get in trouble for harboring a runaway or- or- Lance shoves aside thoughts of Keith’s foster dad getting off scot-free and Keith having to go back to him. His parents will never let that happen. 

So Lance just nods, tries his best to smile, and stays. Keith peeks out around Maria as they walk toward the ambulance and Lance doesn’t know what to say. So he says nothing, just watches as his parents disappear down the road, and prays that Keith will be with them when they return.

Lance takes Toni back to bed in the living room and Camilla helps him lock up every window and door in the house. He makes it into a game and manages to win a bit of laughter from her, which he counts as a feat. But as soon as they’ve settled in the living room next to a sleeping Toni, she releases all her questions on him in rapid succession. Where did nana and papa go? Why did the big truck take Keith away? Who was that man? Why was he being so mean to Keith?

Lance hugs her close and tries to explain. “You know how the bad guys in movies can be really mean to the heroes, and at the end the heroes beat the bad guys in a fight?” Camilla nods. “Well, that man that hurt Keith was a bad guy. Papa’s at the police station to make sure than man gets in trouble for being mean, and nana’s at the hospital to make sure Keith’s okay. That’s where the big truck took him- it’s an ambulance, they come rescue people who are hurt and heal them.”

Camilla nods, taking his cobbled-together explanation as fact. “When will tio Keith come home?” 

Lance gives her a shaky smile. “Soon.”

Half an hour after the first responders have come and gone, Lourdes gets home, and Lance tells her everything their mama didn’t have time to mention. Camilla is fast asleep and when Lourdes pulls Lance into her arms, he cries, because he’s worried. He lets out all the emotions he’s been holding back, because he couldn’t bear to cry in front of Camilla and make her more scared.

John calls not long after Lourdes gets home to say that Keith’s foster father is in holding and that the specifics of the arrest will be handled by other officers, and that he’s heading to the hospital to check on Maria and Keith. John tells them not to worry, that everything is going to work out.

(Lance still worries, but he forces himself not to focus on it, because John McClain is not a liar)

Melissa gets home after the call, Andi gets home an hour after that, and they wait together in the living room, huddled like wolf pups waiting for their mother to return with food for the winter. Toni and Camilla wake up and demand movie time, and three episodes of Tangled: The Series later, they’re asleep again, along with Lourdes and Andi, who are both exhausted from their days.

Lance is exhausted too, body and soul, but he can’t find it in himself to sleep. His mind is going a mile a minute with thoughts of Keith and their parents and restraining orders and relocations and what if Lance could track down Keith’s brother? His fingers fidget with whatever they touch and Lance fights the urge to text Hunk or Pidge for help, because he’s not sure if he should share yet. What kind of rules are there in sharing this kind of thing? Would he get in trouble for telling them?

“I can hear you overthinking from all the way over here, Lancey-Lance.” Melissa says, using an old nickname that he hasn’t heard from her in years. “Do I have to ask what’s on your mind?”

Lance looks around Lourdes and Camilla’s sleeping forms between them, locks onto Melissa’s calm gaze, so much like their mama’s. “I just… I can’t stop thinking about what’ll happen to Keith. What if mama and dad get in trouble for letting him stay here? What if social services take him to some other family in some other town and I never get to see him anymore?”

“Lance, Keith ran away from a man who was abusing him. I don’t think mama and dad could get in trouble for protecting him even if dad wasn’t a police Captain. They’ll fight for Keith if they have to, you know that. And besides, they have a little trick up their sleeve they haven’t told you yet.”

Lance narrows his eyes at her. “What kind of trick?”

Five and a half hours. Keith’s ER checkup takes five and a half hours. Lourdes is awake again and doing homework in the dining room, Melissa is heating late-night leftover fried rice, and Andi is still passed out in the living room with Toni and Camilla. Lance is sat across the table from his sister, trying to focus on his own homework, but he has to keep reading the same sentences over and over again because his brain is too distracted to comprehend the material.

Lights stream through cracks in the dining room curtains and there’s the sound of an engine, of car doors opening and closing, of footsteps on the stone walkway and hushed voices outside.

Lance is on his feet in seconds and heading for the front door, Lourdes at his heels. He hears her talking to Andi, probably trying to wake him up, hears Toni and Camilla’s still-sleepy voices, but he doesn’t wait. He pulls the door open and there are his parents, coming up the steps.

Keith is wedged between them, a duffel bag in his arms. He’s smiling.

Everything in Lance wants to throw himself at Keith and squeeze his brains out in a hug, but he has no idea how injured Keith might be, so instead he throws himself at his mama and reaches an arm carefully around Keith to pull him closer. Keith comes willingly and Lance feels fingers in his jacket, holding tight. It doesn’t take long for everyone else who’s awake to join the hug.

“I’m fine, really.” Keith says in Lance’s ear, answering the question he hasn’t even asked yet.

Lance deflates, tension flowing out of him. Keith is okay. Keith is home. The hug huddle starts to disperse and Lance is shoved aside by Camilla, who tackles Keith ‘round the middle and sobs into his coat. Maria pulls Lance closer and kisses him on the cheek, hands in his hair, and Lance leans into her with a smile even as his eyes stay on Keith and Camilla. Keith drops the duffel bag onto the porch and kneels to Camilla’s height, hugging her back. She sobs a bit more and everyone starts to gravitate back into the house, but Lance stays, watching.

“That scary man came and hurt you and then the hospital people took you away-” Camilla says between hiccups, one hand wiping tears while the other clings to Keith’s jacket with an iron grip. “And Lance said you would be home soon but then it was a really long time and I missed you!”

Keith smiles, and Lance swears there are tears in his eyes. “I missed you too. All of you.”

No one asks for a full story from John and Maria McClain until Camilla has been detached from Keith’s torso and put to sleep again, Melissa having made the decision to simply stay the night rather than try and drive home. Toni is balled up in one of the armchairs and Camilla is splayed across the fold-out couch in the living room, dead to the world despite her earlier energy.

Andi is half-asleep and groggy but he lets Lourdes pull him into the dining room and sit him down to hear the news of the night. Lance sits with his chair right up next to Keith’s, their shoulders up against each other, the steam from their cups of tea mixing, their fingers just a few inches apart.

“So, there’s a little something we didn’t tell everyone while we were making plans for the party, simply because we weren’t sure how it would work out if needed. But,” Maria explains. “when we were thinking of ways to truly help Keith, Melissa suggested we apply to be emergency foster parents. That would mean if a foster child nearby was displaced, they would be brought here, Keith included. And your father was able to find out that there are no other such families nearby.”

“Which means that when Keith was taken into social service custody, he was automatically put into your custody after the hospital cleared him, right?” Lourdes asks, beaming.

Maria nods, and Lance wants to cry, because his parents are amazing, so beautifully amazing.

“As foster parents, we will only have custody of Keith until a family chooses to adopt him. And you guys seem to enjoy having him around so we talked to social services about how we could go about adopting Keith to be a part of our family, permanently.” John starts, expression smug as he drags out his sentences. Lance and his siblings are hanging onto every word. “Of course, we asked Keith first if he would like to stay, and, well, you wanna tell them what you said, Keith?”

All eyes lock onto Keith and he shrinks under their gazes at first, clearly exhausted and ready to sleep and perhaps still adjusting to having siblings, but then he smiles, brighter than Lance has ever seen him smile, and Lance’s entire body seems to heat up. “I said yes.”

Lourdes starts to cheer and Andi whacks her upside the head, reminding her that there are kids asleep in the next room over. Lance wraps his arms around Keith and Lourdes is pouncing onto them just seconds later. Keith melts into their hug and Lance couldn’t possibly be happier.

If someone had told fourteen-year-old Lance that he’d end up with Keith Kogane as a brother in under a year, he never would’ve believed them, but right now? Being with Keith just feels right.

✿ First Ending, Fin. ✿

“What the fuck do you mean, we missed Keith’s birthday?!” Pidge yells, enraged. “You mean his birthday was like, a week after we became friends, and he never told us?! Dude!”

“He said he’s never celebrated his birthday before, since he doesn’t actually know his real one. I think he just… didn’t think it mattered? I mean, this is Keith we’re talking about.” Lance says.

Lance, Pidge, and Hunk are sat at a corner table in the obnoxiously busy cafeteria, their normal spot being damp and freezing with early December rain. There’s less than a week before winter break starts and the three of them are despairing over the fact they’ve missed Keith’s birthday.

“Well, maybe we can still do something? It might be a little late, but it’s better than nothing.” Hunk says. Lance nods. “Besides, he’s a McClain now. And the McClains are great at parties.”

Lance snorts a laugh, because that’s something Keith learned very quickly- there have been two more birthday parties since Andi’s, and both had hours upon hours of loving setup behind them. The McClain family goes big or goes home. Hunk knows that, has been a part of that mindset for as long as either he or Lance can remember, and he chuckles too, leaving Pidge to roll her eyes. 

Someone’s yelling in the distance and Pidge shoots a glare down the hall in the direction of it. “I forgot to tell you guys, Matt’s bringing his college roommate home for Christmas break.”

“Oh, I remember you mentioning it.” Lance says, sucking down the last of his Capri Sun.

“Yeah, well, apparently Matt cried over the phone because his roommate doesn’t have a family to spend the break with, so mom told him to invite the guy to spend the holidays with us.” There’s more yelling and Pidge frowns. “I’ve only heard stories about him so far, but he seems cool.”

“What’s he like?” 

“He’s in the same major as Matt, so he’s an astrophysics nerd. Matt has a total crush on him so I know he’s buff as shit and he has this cool scar over his nose, and he’s Japanese, so I’m pretty sure Matt’s used anime puns. Apparently he talks in his sleep.” Pidge pauses, clearly thinking up more tidbits. “His name’s Takashi but Matt says everyone in their classes calls him Shiro-”

“Wait, Shiro? Like Takashi Shirogane?” Lance blurts out. He remembers the name.

Pidge tilts her head at him. “Yeah, do you know-”

A high-pitched scream cuts through their conversation and everyone whips around to look at the origin of the sound. It’s a young girl Lance recognizes from his English class, Rom or Roxy or Ro or something similar. But Lance’s eyes don’t stay on her for long. Because there’s a gun.

(If you had told eighth-grade-Lance-McClain that his first thought, when caught in one of the most terrifying situations he could have possibly imagined, would be “what would Keith do?” …)

What would Keith do.

Lance knows Keith. Lance knows Keith. Knows how determined he is, knows how protective he is, knows how strong he is and how quick he is to take action, knows how many fights he’s been in- knows he came out on top in every single one, despite whatever consequences followed.

Lance knows if Keith were here, and he hopes to God Keith isn’t, that he would charge the kid holding a gun and firing on people Lance has known most of his life.

Lance can’t charge the kid holding a gun. He’ll die if he charges the kid holding a gun. He doesn’t want to die to the kid holding a gun. So he searches for the next best thing and instantly his eyes land on Romelle, the girl who screamed whose name he suddenly remembers clear as day.

She’s crumpled and crying and only a few feet away, and Lance drops to the ground, doesn’t let his eyes leave hers as she watches him come closer and closer until his hand touches hers.

She looks up at Lance and Lance smiles a shaky smile, fumbles for reassuring words. 

She looks up at him and starts wailing.

Lance looks up, at the shadow behind him, and there’s the gun, inches away from his temple.

Keith can’t breathe.

He sits on Lance’s bunk, huddled in a corner, staring at nothing. His eyes are rubbed raw and he can’t bear to move from his spot, can’t bear to leave the room, can’t bear to see Lance’s family - his family, now. It hurts too much to see the tear lines on their cheeks, the bags under their eyes.

So he stays on the bed, curled in Lance’s jacket that still has faded bloodstains on the sleeve.

❀ Second Ending, Fin. ❀

For those who scrolled down to get that content warning- there’s a school shooting scene at the end of the fic. I’ve not experienced a school shooting or any kind of shooting, but I’m sure it’s absolutely harrowing, so I don’t want anyone who might be sensitive to that content to be hurt. Please be careful!