#and my sleep schedule was pretty good previously

[stripesysheaven]

today is a double coffee kind of day

[hyewka]

or can u suggest any txt fic here (preferably the long ones w chapters) that u enjoyed?

sorry for the extremely extremely late reply but i’ll list some long fics + txt series’s that ive enjoyed with some comments attached to each one. spoiler alert, a completed txt series is pretty hard to find lol

series

lover = lo$er (sub!gyu, virgin fic)

it would be easy to just straight up recommend every @/wildernessuntothemselves series and i might just succumb to that later on but this is pure submissive beomgyu heaven, served as my first real awakening and i would probably attribute most of my sub gyu writing to this fic alone. 10/10, has a love triangle bit and beomgyus kind of insane

criminal conscience (dom!gyu, crime au)

on the other side of the spectrum, this is pussy clenching dom beomgyu goodness and i dont think it gets better than this. the writing is so compelling it fully immerses you in the narrative, even im getting sucked in to beomgyu’s manipulation (whats new really), blaring red flags and all. its currently on hiatus though but i would catch up either way beomiracles is a pretty consistent writer, she’d probably pick it up sooner or later :)

mosquito (soobin)

sorry this is going to be all over the place lol but this is also still ongoing (its only two parts in) but this writer is absolutely insane. narrative feels fleshed out and though it mainly follows soobin’s perspective and feelings, i am quite enjoying it so far. it has some idol x idol action as well, not the main focus of course but it is written in detail

one way (dom!beomgyu, themes of sadism)

this ones a three parter and its completed. by the same writer mentioned previously (soobrat), very very good storytelling, keeps you on your toes and has a hold on your emotions but like mentioned, it has a bit of an extremity in the smut and it is undeniably toxic but its good

sneaky link (dom yeonjun, the other woman trope)

i havent read this in a while but i remember staying up all night reading all of it lol. i would probably not recommend this to people who really cant read infidelity since thats what the fic is based around but it isnt cast in a very favorable light anyway. really toxic, seriously good

fuck you series (sub gyu, enemies to lovers, band au)

its really cute and the e2l set up is believable enough since theyre band rivals. beomgyu is so so so cute in this even if a little insufferable to mc lol. i would also recommend fairyofshampgyu’s now live series but its currently on an indefinite hiatus (its sooo good as well though so if youre willing, you should check it out)

nabi (best friends to lovers beomgyu, no smut)

two parts in, not completed but im following it currently and god i love them together their dynamic is soooo fun to read, you wont get bored

jerk! (enemies to lovers, beomgyu fic, no smut)

its another band au and its also ongoing. there isnt a consistent update schedule so that might be a minus but the most recent chapter was from a month ago so its safe to say it hasnt been left in the dust (thank god). very very good writing, excited to see how their relationship takes off

bullying choi soobin (sub soobin)

submissive soobin and its good, of course im recommending this. its finished and a 4 parter

sugar (dom!yeonjun, dom!gyu)

unfortunately probably forever incomplete but i love it and i might actually go back to reading it for the third time

let me into your world (non smut beomgyu series)

i havent read a soulmate premise in sooo long so this was refreshing to read, good stuff

supermodel (dom gyu and sub i believe)

its just. Amazing. a two parter but a goodie

the city that never sleeps (bsf smut)

also two parts but both parts are pretty long, really good stuff

ok for the life of me i cannot find this one huening series where he was getting bullied by reader and they were secretly fucking?? that one was literally perfect submissive men shit so if you find it if youve struck gold

long full fics (6k+)

telepathy (fantasy, dom!gyu)

a little out of the box compared to all the fics ive recommended so far and thats what makes it so special and good

duality (dom!kai)

i actually havent read this one yet but i will soon, i just thought id add it here anyway since i know ill love it

killer instinct (taehyun fic)

very plot heavy and it centers taehyun mainly. i could go ahead and cheat and just list out every single koqabear fic lmao but this ones a gem, very happy i set aside the time to read it

the redemption of choi yeonjun (dom!yj)

im not personally a fan of the trope but when it was originally teased the smut sounded heavenly and honestly, it is. such a good dom yeonjun here but beware hes a little (a lot) mean lol. he changes by the end

like cat and mouse! (sub gyu, inexperienced)

again, worth the reading time investment. i love submissive gyu, he is everything here and more

love love love (sub gyu, royal au)

i have probably read this a total of 30 times

i hate you (enemy!beomgyu, dom beomgyu)

ok sorry im cheating here a bit this isnt long but its so good you should check it out anyway

[wil-dearest]

Anonymous asked: HeyI wwas wondering if you could do a Wolf! Wilbur x fem!reader? Like Wilbur gets into heat and begs reader to let him fuck them, humping at their leg until reader let's them and then Wilbur fucks Reader endless and then eventually knots them?

yeah why not. here.

trigger warning: dubcon because its a heat and not previously discussed. oblivious reader is left in the dark about wilbur's wolfishness and heats and shit. so. yeah. 18+

(Room)Mates

It's always a simple thing, come home, greet your roommate with lots of hugs and promises of conversations and things would go as smooth as butter. You didn't mind the arrangement, especially with the way he explained it. (Growing up, he had probably the most loving, physically affectionate family in the area. And you didn't mind a pretty boy asking for physical contact all the time. You're probably touch-starved but we won't delve too deep into it.) So this particular night, you had been out a little later, distracted by the dogs outside of your work, they wouldn't move even if you had extra treats in your bag. Not even for your cold lunch.

You admire the dedication but it still set your schedule back by an hour, not to mention, this would be the first time in a week you'd see Wilbur. He had called it a family emergency but his car hasn't let and you could hear noises in his room. Banging on the walls and heavy stuff dropping onto the floor. You'd be concerned if it continued when you were home. It was only ever when you were close to sleeping.

So, as the touch-starved human you are, you were excited to see your roommate, excited to see his fluffy brown hair fall into his eyes and excited to him laugh at your day. He was going to love this cheesy joke you overheard, you bite down on your smile, fishing for your keys in your bag.

Sliding the key into the door and jiggling it within the metal, you push your weight into it with your shoulder. It opens with a creak of resistance, swinging only a little bit as you stumble.

His car had been in the same spot as it had been but you could see that bedroom door was open. "Ah, sorry I'm late Wilbur, you should've seen it, the strays at work are getting bad again. And they're stubborn, wouldn't even move for the wrap I had. And you know where I get my wraps, from that little place next door so you know they were feeling spiteful from last spring." You speak in rambles, setting down your things by the coffee table and cracking your spine as you relax. You talk into the air, as if you weren't about to talk to him for the first time in a week. You hear padded footsteps and you can feel the heat radiating off of him as he gets closer and closer to you in the kitchen. You paid him no mind, already aware of how clingy he can get but when you reach into the cabinet above your head, you feel his body slide against yours, his crotch grounding against your ass as you lean onto your heels. It's an entire body reaction— from the curse words that fall from your mouth, you pushing him away and him whining.

"Fucking hell, what the fuck is going on, Wilbur?" The words fall from your mouth faster than you can think and he's just too much— too warm, too close, and too sweaty, what the fuck— the lower part of your back meets the counter and he slots his leg in between yours, rocking his hips and- fuck, he's so hard, he's fucking hard and he's fucking humping your leg. Clearing your head of the panic, you can hear him babbling, see the drool falling from the corners of his lips. "Need- need you so bad, heart, need t'be inside you, s'hot right now, you're so hot." And of course, he kept repeating about how he needed to knot you, how he just needed to breed you and make you so full of his pups. "Smell- you smell so good-" he moans into the air as he digs his nose into your hair.

How is this shit— whatever the fuck is going on with Wilbur, how is it so hot?

"Wilbur, look at me." You say, pinching his cheeks together where his lips purse and the drool spills onto your wrist, you can't even hold back the grimace, "what's going on with you?"

"S'sooooo warm, need- hah, need to fuck you full with my pups, please I'll be so good for you," his hips start rocking against your leg again and you can only shudder as his words slip under your skin and warm your insides. "Please let me fuck you, please please, just the tip, just the tip and I'll leave you alone, please baby, please, I need you- need you so bad, fuck you're so so-fffttttttt, fuck, please-" you slap a hand onto his mouth, your face burning except it doesn't do much, his moan vibrates through your hand and he starts to lick the salt off of your palm and in between the crevices in your fingers.

"God, Wilbur, you're a fucking- mess." You say as you push his head away and it just rolls on his neck, tears bubbling in his eyes as his mouth is still dropped open. He sinks to his knees, still grinding his crotch against your leg and it's so different to the Wilbur you know. (Well, he's still clingy and touchy as ever but he's so fucking horny right now, like- shit.) You wonder if somebody did something, like poison him with a sex thing or if he's sick or if he just... really missed you. Yeah, hard pass on the last bit.

His head leans against your thigh, inhaling so deeply and you realize a little too late that his nose is close to where your own pelvis is, close to your crotch. And before you can stop him, he starts licking at your cunt through your pants. Your mouth drops open into a gasp, sparks of pleasure running through your spine as you accidentally widen your stance, his hands coming to grip your sides, your thighs and squeezing, feeling your skin as he pushes your top up. His touch burns hot.

His tongue is all you can focus on for the next minute as he continues to lick, your hands burying themselves in his hair. And when you clench a chunk of hair in your fists, your hips twitching as they rock against his mouth, you can only let out a sharp whine yourself, his own moans vibrating against the fabric. The pants get so wet, you're almost concerned if he hadn't already started pulling them down. Your thighs are hit with the apartment's air conditioner breeze and you push his face back, even as he whimpers, pressing his cheek to your naked leg. ("Soft.. so fucking soft." You can barely hear him mutter.)

"Wilbur," you say, and he looks up at you with those big eyes, his mouth dropped open with his tongue dragging itself up your thigh, coating your skin with a wet warmth. "Wilbur, promise me this won't change anything." His fingers tighten themselves over your skin and he nods fast, words dripping from his lips with promises to be good, good for you and to you.

"Love you so much, god, you're so perfect, you're so warm. So, so warm." He repeats himself, hips rocking again.

You swallow the dread and you tell yourself, things will be okay. Things will go back to normal. Things will be simple again. Wilbur will go back to being your overly affectionate roommate and none of this will mean anything.

Which means you definitely can't fuck him in your bed.

"C'mon then. Your room." He stands up so quick, pulling on your hands and guiding you to the room at the end of the apartment. Even when you start tripping from the pants still around your knees, though he just pulls them down so you can step out of them... where he picks you up with strength you don't know where the fuck it came from just how he presses you against the wall next to the door and moans into your mouth, kissing you and licking your teeth and pressing himself closer and closer.

It's a blur of wet and burning and hot and fuck- but you know the second he's inside you, you feel the stars in your blood, you feel something that's much bigger than you or him, bigger than this apartment or the complex. Maybe that's just how sex is. (How sex is when your bed-mate is someone completely, insanely hot and probably has the sex version of rabies.) He covers your skin in marks, biting them and pistoning his cock inside of your cunt, listening to your needs. Moving as fast as you needed him and and as slow as you needed.

Time continued, and you had to estimate it'd been an hour or so after you let him first test the waters; let him stroke the tip of his cock between your lips and watching as he cried into your hands, kissing his tears away, you did. Because he's a big sap and you're nothing but a good for nothing roommate (-that's in love with him.)

He's not any softer than before, he's still so- so hard. Despite coming twice on your stomach twice (and cleaning his mess every time) he's still so fucking hard it makes it hard to think with how far his cock sinks inside of you.

You know at some point, after it hits the second hour and he's still brutally pounding your cunt to shreds, you feel something twitch the base of his dick. You can hardly speak though, with how you screamed his name into his pillow... soaking the pillowcase with your own spit and gripping it hard as he fucks you again and again. You notice the twitch and it's only when he picks the pace up again, moaning into your shoulder and biting so hard you think the skin breaks, you can feel a stretch happening, something big itching to bury itself into your cunt. You gasp, the sound a scratchy thing as it pops inside, tears falling fast down your cheeks as he is locked inside of you, with his chest against your back and he's mumbling sweet things, promises to fill you up and promises to make you feel good again, promises and more promises.

You can hardly focus as it quickly became too much, your sobbing buries itself into his hand as you lean into his touch, trying to count down from any number but nothing is fucking working.

"Wilbur- what- what the fuck is happening, Wilbur?"

Something between a sob and a moan escapes his own mouth as he leans closer to your ear, "I just- fuck. I just knotted you. It'll- it'll go down in a second. Try not to ah, ah- move." His hand pins your hip down, despite being the only one trying to move. "So, so beautiful." He murmurs and you just let it soak, let the attention and the harsh fucking sink into your skin. There is so much to process. So much to sift through.

That's a tomorrow's problem... and you should probably call in tomorrow.

[to-thelakes]

exhausted

pairing; frank castle x fem!reader (mentions of matt murdock)

summary; after you lose your cool at matt and frank, frank comes to see you and helps you get some much-needed rest

warnings; initial angst, a smidge of hurt/comfort, fluff, domestic frank castle, soft frank castle, exhausted reader, insomniac reader, discussion of nightmares

notes; this one-shot is an oldie but a goodie, i keep reading back and looking at some one-shots i've previously written and i think this one is good enough that i can share it with the world, i wrote it initially with sharing it in mind so i might as well do it! also this one-shot thingie was inspired by a one-shot i saw here on tumblr, the beginning of this is pretty similar to the one i read so if anyone knows what fic i'm referencing, i'd love to be able to credit who inspired this! otherwise, this is just some comforting frank content because i am an avid insomniac and sometimes you just need the big scary punisher to help you fall asleep

masterlist

You weren’t entirely sure how it had happened but at some point between knowing Matt and Frank, you had become their nurse. Of course, you didn’t particularly mind. Matt had always been kind to you and you enjoyed his company. He was a little flirty but you were used to it and you could lament in your misery with him.

With Frank, he had saved you from some criminals months ago and you had been freaking out. He did his best to calm you down before walking you home and after a particularly bad night, Matt brought Frank to you to patch up. Honestly, you didn’t mind their company and you didn’t mind patching them up.

Ever since you’d moved on from being a Nurse, you’d refound your passion for caring for people but only if it was Frank or Matt. But you also hated taking care of them. Despite having a relatively normal life and sleep schedule compared to when you were a nurse, you were still woken up in the middle of the night by them.

It had been a quiet night for you. You’d finished work and curled up on your bed to drift off and you had. It had been a blissful sleep until you were rudely awoken by your phone ringing. You wanted to tell whoever it was to leave you the fuck alone but when you saw it was Matt, you answered. He asked if you could come over and help patch Frank and him up.

You - reluctantly - agreed since he was only a block over. You didn’t want them bloody up your apartment and so with a great huff, you got out of bed. You changed into comfortable clothes and then grabbed your kit for nights like these and headed to Matt’s place.

Getting in wasn’t hard even in your exhausted and sleepy daze. You managed to find your way up to the fire escape where the two men were sitting. Well, Frank was sat, leaning against the vent, cradling a wound while Matt stood. He was pacing in his Daredevil costume and he looked frustrated. It was practically radiating off of him.

They both looked pretty bruised and yet, they were still arguing. It took you a minute to catch on to the conversation but the second you did you sighed.

“You gotta let me do my shit, altar boy. I don’t give a shit what you can sense, I know what I’m doing and we would have been fine if you hadn’t stopped me from doing my goddamn job,” Frank raged as he stared up at Matt. His hand was pressed against the wound on his side and yet his jaw still flexed with obvious annoyance.

“If you had just listened to me then we would have been fine! You never listen, I can hear more than you can. I can hear their guns, Frank. If you had just shut your damn mouth for one goddamn second, it would have been fine!” Matt snapped in response. His annoyance was radiating off of him and you just looked between them. You weren’t entirely convinced that even of them had realised you were there but you knew Matt could smell you.

“I listen fucking plenty. I knew what I was getting my sorry ass into but you just have to be the fucking saviour, don’t you Red? Always a hero,” Frank scoffed. His tone was scathing and he winced when the pain only seemed to get worse. The irritation that Matt waking you up had began only seemed to grow as you listened to them continue to bicker back and forth about who was right and who was responsible for Frank’s wound. And why Red just couldn’t have listened to Frank for one goddamn minute.

It was probably five minutes of bickering and you had finally had enough. You dropped your kit bag onto the floor and suddenly, both of their attentions snapped to you.

“You are both so insufferable!” You snapped suddenly, glaring between the two men, “I get my ass out of bed after working all fucking day for you two to be bickering like three-year-olds over something that doesn’t fucking matter anymore. Take my shit and patch yourself up. I’m done with this.” Your anger only seemed to grow and you watched as both Matt and Frank’s face fell. You stepped back from the pair of them, “Ungrateful bastards,” You muttered as you headed back to the fire escape and towards Matt’s apartment.

“Hey(!), sweetheart,” Frank’s voice made you pause in your steps. If his next words weren’t an apology, you were going to scream, “Don’t gotta be so fucking moody. Didn’t even see ya.” That was it and you turned on your heel to face them again.

“I couldn’t give a shit if you didn’t see me Frank. I know sure as hell that Matt could smell me before I even got onto the fucking roof. And I’m sure his senses will tell him that I haven’t showered in three days because I’ve been so busy with my new fucking workload that I have barely had the chance to take care of myself. This is the first evening that I haven’t had to work late for my asshole boss and I finally managed to get some sleep until you assholes had to wake me up because you can never work together! I honestly don’t care what happens to you next time. If one of you gets bloody and bruised, don’t fucking call me. Lose my number, both of you.” And with that final word, you walked off the roof and down to Matt’s apartment. You felt like crying, the irritation had seeped into frustration and the tears were blurring your vision as you pulled the apartment door open.

“Sweetheart,” Matt’s voice was so soft as he rushed over to you in the doorway. Your head snapped up so that he could look at you or you assumed he was, you could tell where he was looking with that stupid mask on, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called,” Matt’s voice had softened significantly as he was looking at you.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have,” You bit back. Matt’s lips turned down into a frown. He suddenly had no idea what to say. He had never seen you like this. Even when you were stressed and overworked as a nurse, you always had this sunny disposition to everything that you did. This was new, he hated it because he knew it was his fault.

“Please, how can I fix this?” Matt asked and you rolled your eyes. The apartment door still open in front of you.

“I told you, lose my number,” You snapped. Matt frowned but before he could even say anything, you were gone. He let out a frustrated huff and he listened as you walked to the elevator and disappeared down to street-level. He didn’t know what to do now.

-

The weekend eventually rolled around and you were relaxing for the first time in a very long time. You were curled up on the couch, watching trash TV with a pizza from your favourite take-out on the coffee table. It was the ideal day.

Well, that was until you heard a knock at your apartment door. A soft huff escaped your lips and you unfurled yourself from your cocoon of blankets to answer it. When you pulled the door open, the last person you expected stood on the other side. Your eyebrows furrowed as you took in Frank Castle in all his broad glory with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Your favourite flowers no doubt. You didn’t even know what to say.

“Ya said don’t call,” Frank began and then he held out the flowers, “So I came over instead.” There was a slight softness to his words and it made you let out a soft chuckle. You shook your head but took the bouquet from his hands.

“Thank you,” You mumbled before gesturing for him to come in. The trashy TV show you had on was playing as you grabbed a vase from under the sink and ripped the wrapping from around the flowers. You then grabbed some scissors from the drawer and Frank watched as you snipped the ends at a diagonal and placed them into the water before adding the packet of food.

“M’sorry about the other night,” Frank said after a few beats of silence. You shrugged and rearranged the flowers and when you were happy enough with them, you took them over to the windowsill to replace the faux flowers you had put there weeks ago, “I really appreciate everything’ ya do for me,” He said as he watched you move. You shrugged and wrapped your arms around yourself, moving to sit down on your sofa. You didn’t want to have this conversation.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” You said firmly. Frank sighed and he glanced at the door, not sure whether you wanted him to leave or stay. You glanced back at him expectantly and so he walked over, sitting down on the couch beside you. You grabbed a slice of pizza and offered it to him. He found himself smiling as he took it from your hands.

“M’really sorry, I didn’t-” But before Frank could get any further you put your hand up to silence him. Then your gaze turned on him and he looked back at you.

“Frank, I seriously don’t wanna think about it. Just eat your pizza and shut up,” You told him as you reached out for another slice for yourself. He grunted in response and you seemed pleased with that. You shuffled back, pulling blankets over your shoulder with your free hand before you took a bite out of the pizza. Frank was sitting on one of the blankets on the sofa but you didn’t bother to say anything as you ate.

Your gaze was fixed on the TV. There was about to be an elimination from the show and although you didn’t care for many of the contestants, there was one guy that you wanted to get kicked out. He had the most infuriating personality and had treated every girl like an object since he had been introduced. He rubbed you the wrong way and so, you watched with bated breath to see if he would finally be kicked out.

And he was. Frank noticed the victorious grin on your face as he leaned over for another slice of pizza. You let him grab it as you finished your slice off. Then you shuffled on the sofa and adjusted the blankets around your shoulder again.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” You broke the silence between the pair of you. The sound of the TV was the only thing that was filling the air until that. 

He glanced over at you before he shook his head, letting out a grunt of disagreement. You nodded and then pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulder, “I’ve had a really stressful week at work, I’ve not been sleeping well and I thought that when I quit my job at Metro General my late nights would end. That I would be able to sleep properly again. But you and Matt changed that and I don’t mind. I usually don’t mind at all but this week, I just- I couldn’t do it. I had dragged myself out of sleep which I had barely been able to get into and then you both just bickered. And I really don’t mind helping either of you. I like helping you both but I just can’t do it right now.” 

You were rambling, you knew you were rambling but you felt like Frank deserved an explanation. He was injured and you had left him to be stitched up by Matt. It felt cruel but you were also exhausted. Not even by them, just by life. 

“You don’t gotta explain,” Frank said after a beat. You looked up at him, he had a sorrowful look on his face. It was almost guilty-looking and you didn’t want him to feel guilty. A soft huff escaped your lips as you ran your fingers across your face.

“No, I do because I didn’t have to blow up at you guys. I didn’t have to be so rude. I could have just left but I made a scene and it wa-” Frank cut you off before you got a chance to finish your sentence.

“Ya had every right to shout. We dragged you outta bed for somethin’ that we coulda handled on our own. You were angry and shit, I woulda said worse. You can’t bottle that shit up, you know?” He responded as he looked down at you. You let out a soft sigh, running your fingers through your hair. You didn’t know what to even say.

“I’m just so tired, Frank,” You mumbled. It had been weighing on you all week and it was the first time you had let yourself admit it. You were so exhausted. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. The tension in the room seemed to increase tenfold at the submission and Frank was silently observing you as you reached for a pizza slice, hoping to distract your exhaustion-addled mind. It was too much.

“Lie down for a bit, yeah?” He said and you looked up at him, confusion etched across your features. Almost bemused by his words.

“I’ve tried that Frank. Plus, it’s too early,” You mumbled before you took a bite of your pizza. He shook his head and closed the pizza box on the coffee table. He then reached for the TV remote and he switched it off.

“Nah, enough of this shit. We’re gonna lie down and I’ll make sure you get some goddamn sleep. alright?” There was no room to argue with him and as he stood up, looming above you, you weren’t entirely sure you had the bravery to. So, you simply nodded your head. You placed the half-eaten pizza slice into the box and then got to your feet, leaving your cocoon of blankets on the sofa so you could go to bed, “You gonna brush your teeth?” He asked. You nodded your head. Even though you had just eaten, you had to make sure that they were brushed before you went to bed and so, Frank lingered in the doorway as you brushed your teeth, “Red’s gonna give you shit when he finds out about this, sweetheart,” Frank commented off-handedly. You spat some toothpaste into the sink before you glanced over at him.

“He can smell when I last showered, I think he already knows,” You muttered before you finished brushing your teeth. You grabbed the towel and washed the toothpaste off your mouth, washing your mouth out with water before you stepped back. You were already in pyjamas so you were ready for bed.

“Yeah, that’s what he tells ya,” Frank mumbled as you headed towards your bedroom. Frank slipped his boots off at the foot of your bed and discarded his jacket on top of your dresser before he glanced over at you.

“Are you sleeping in the bed too?” You asked tentatively. Frank turned to look at you, cocking an eyebrow.

“That a problem?” He asked curiously. You shook your head and he nodded, “You been gettin’ nightmares?” His question caught you completely off-guard and you just stared at him, dumb-founded from the side of your bed. He huffed out in mild amusement, “You were an ER nurse, gives its own scars,” He shrugged. You sighed and rubbed your hands across your face.

“It’s not nightmares. It’s just not dreams either. I can just hear flatlining and feel blood and I’m running down corridors, plagued by the clean smell of the hospital. It’s sterile and I wake up and I swear I can smell it,” You mumbled, trying your best to explain the experiences. You hated calling them nightmares because nothing scary happened. It was just your feelings and memories of the place you used to love.

“You wake up scared?” He asked as he walked over to the opposite side of the bed. You nodded your head, “Then it’s a nightmare. When did your dirtbag ex break up with you?” You didn’t seem to understand how that correlated but it had been only a month ago. It coincided with the exact time you began to have issues sleeping.

“A month ago. I’ve not been a nurse for months. Why is that relevant?” You asked as you decided to pull the covers back but you didn’t get in.

“You’re sleeping alone, sweetheart. Does things to you especially when you’re not used to,” He stated blankly. It seemed to dawn on you why he knew this and you just stared at him for a moment, not sure whether to apologise or offer sympathy but he didn’t give you a chance, “Now let’s get you some sleep, hm?” You smiled thankfully and slipped under the covers. Frank slipped under them beside you and you pulled them up to your shoulder.

Then you grabbed onto the pillow, adjusting it under your head. Frank was facing you, his hands resting in front of him as yours rested under your head. He watched you adjust and get comfortable before you let out a sigh.

“I always hated sleeping alone,” You mumbled after a moment of silence, “When I was a kid, my little brother would always get nightmares and so we’d sleep in the same bed. Then, by the time he had grown out of that habit, I was old enough that I was going to high school and my parents began to - reluctantly - let my partner stay over. Then, I went to college and I basically spent every night with someone in my bed whether that was a friend or someone I was dating. I never really got used to sleeping alone, I guess.” Although Frank didn’t have the exact same feeling as you as he had slept alone plenty of times while he was on tours, he understood what you meant. After he lost Maria, he found it impossible to sleep alone. The nightmares tormented him. It got better with time but never really truly better. It’s the main reason why he pushed his body to the point of collapse. Then he didn’t have to worry about trying to fall asleep alone. It just happened because his body didn’t give him a choice. You had started to do the same.

“Just try and get some sleep tonight, yeah?” He suggested. You nodded and you let your eyes fall closed. He shifted on the bed before he let his eyes close as well. You sighed and felt your eyes forcing themselves back open. They didn’t want to stay closed and after a few more minutes of desperately trying to keep them closed, you rolled onto your back.

And you stared at the ceiling like you had for so many nights over the past few months. You were never able to sleep, when you woke up from sleep, you just stared. You had memorised every crack in the shitty ceiling and now there was nothing new to look at. You didn’t know what was wrong with you but you hated it.

“Hey,” Frank said softly. It was so quiet that you almost missed it and then you turned your head to the side to look at him, “You gotta tell me what ya need if I’m gonna help,” You knew what you needed but you weren’t about to ask Frank for it. This was already crossing the bounds of your friendship and you felt almost disrespectful even doing this but he seemed insistent. His eyes were burning into the side of your head.

“My ex used to…” You trailed off, not sure whether to say it. Frank grunted in a somewhat encouraging way as he shuffled towards you, “They used to cuddle with me when I couldn’t sleep and they’d… God I can’t ask this of you.” You cut yourself off before you could finish your sentence. Your hands pressed over your face, embarrassment flooding your face in the form of heat crawling up your neck and across your cheeks. This was too much.

“Hey, hey, listen to me,” He brought your hands away from your face and you turned to look at him, meeting his soft gaze, “I don’t give a shit if it’s embarrassing, tell me.” His words were firm and you sighed, taking a deep breath before you turned over onto your side so that you could look at him properly again.

“They’d like hold me against their chest, like my forehead against their chest and then they’d run their fingers across my arm. It just always relaxed me,” You finally admitted. Frank smiled softly, not even caring what you were asking of him. Instead, he shuffled forward on the bed and brought you towards him.

“Come ‘ere,” He mumbled. You shuffled into him and with a tentative breath, you rested your forehead against his chest. One of his hands rested under his head while the other moved to rest against the back of your arm. He drew you closer and you gave in, letting your body mold against his. His fingers slowly began to trace along the skin on the back of your arm.

A soft breath of relief escaped your lips, the familiar touch cooled your nervous system in seconds. Your eyes fell closed, tension releasing at the movements as you moved your arms around Frank. Your hand draped over his hip as you felt exhaustion return to your body after you had fought it away all day.

“Thank you,” You muttered under your breath. Your voice was slower than before, sleep ready to take you as you relaxed into his hold.

“Sleep well, sweetheart,” He mumbled against your hair as he rested against you. His touch against your skin was the last thing you remembered before the bliss of sleep took you in.

<3

[aeleawriteswell]

Good afternoooooooon!

The plan that I'm on with my running app can incorporate running, strength training, mobility and Pilates—if you wanna.

I made the decision at the end of last year to do a mix of running, strength training and mobility. I have three scheduled extended runs, three strength training days and on Sundays where I do my longest run for the week, I also training mobility.

I take Fridays off because they are my busiest days at work, so I appreciate the extra hour and a half of sleep.

Today was a strength day, so I did a 1.2km warm up walk, before completing the following:

2 sets of:

Fire Hydrants x20 secs leg

Clam Shells x20 secs per leg

Step Up and Knee Drive x6

Banded Face Pulls x6

Raised Leg Hip Thrust x10

Single Leg Calf Raise x8 per leg

Standing Barbell Press x8

Sumo Deadlift x8

Plank x20 secs

Standing March x10 per leg

I had to skip two exercises (not listed) because I'm way too heavy to be putting so much weight on a shoulder that I previously dislocated, but otherwise, this was pretty manageable!

There was a 90 second rest between each superset as well.

I made baked oats this morning and had it with yogurt and it was honestly so good I'm adding it to the bi-weekly breakfast cycle.

Lunch today was a sandwich with a serving of chips, and I currently have chicken defrosting to make a Chicken Teriyaki Bowl with veggies.

I hope everyone is having an excellent week!

[peepoo79]

Cringe-ass American Psycho AU under cut 👁️👁️

Anyway as I previously alluded to, this mf silly ass idea has been in my brain for a while. Fuck it. Hospital AU. Been watching too much House MD lately. Anyway:

Patrick Bateman:

General surgery. Graduated Harvard medical school. Tried to match into plastic surgery but didn’t make the cut. Didn’t make the cut for cardiothoracic surgery either. Ended up settling for general surgery.

Went into medicine because doctors make a lot of money and have a lot of status. Probably wouldn’t have gotten through medical school if it weren’t for the connections is father has—nepotism at its finest. His father is on the board of directors for the hospital he works at—his last name, unfortunately, keeps him out of a LOT of trouble.

Horrific bedside manner. He’s attempted to sleep with patients on multiple occasions (and succeeded several times), has had countless malpractice lawsuits thrown at him, and frequently leaves his patients feeling uncomfortable. Has been known to purposefully under-anesthetize patients and recommend completely unnecessary procedures just because he’s bored.

That being said, his behavior with patients varies WILDLY. He’s on good behavior if he perceives his patient as being of high status (still unintentionally makes them uncomfortable, but only because he is trying SO HARD to make them like him that it backfires. Think the Tom Cruise elevator interaction from the book. That sort of behavior). However, if they fall into the category of people Patrick regards as “lesser,” the difference is stark. He tends to take his anger out on these sorts of patients.

Still a sadistic bastard. Unfortunately, his job allows him pretty easy access to inflicting agony on unwilling subjects and getting away with it. In some ways, he’s a lot more flagrant with his unacceptable behavior than he is in the source material. Perks of being in a profession like surgery I guess.

Treats the nurses terribly, has slept with a lot of them.

Only reason he hasn’t gotten fired is, once again, nepotism. Seriously, this guy sucks

Jean:

Registered nurse, works under Patrick.

Is aware that Patrick is not favored by his patients. Unaware of the extent of his depravity.

Poor girl needs a hug :(

Despite the shit she’s regularly put through (dealing with patients, dealing with Patrick, dealing with his equally insufferable colleagues), still manages to keep a mostly positive attitude.

Originally wanted to go to medical school but didn’t like the idea of having to spend so much of her youth in school. Decided on nursing—she felt that she could make a better positive impact doing that, anyway.

Paul Owen:

Graduated from Yale. Plastic Surgeon. Has his own practice but occasionally gets called in to the hospital the others work at to handle trauma cases.

Everything Patrick wanted to be. Has everything Patrick wanted to have—rich and beautiful clientele, a flexible work schedule, social prestige.

Well liked by his colleagues and his patients. Actually treats the nurses and other staff well.

Tim Price:

Cardiothoracic surgeon. Went to medical school with Patrick.He’s the closest thing to a friend Patrick has—they were roommates throughout med school

Patrick seems to almost look up to him in a way—probably because in his mind, he’s “higher status”and more successful.

Arrogant but generally tolerated by his colleagues.

Has slept with a lot of the nurses. By extension, has made a lot of enemies out of the nurses.

Completely unaware of Bateman’s…issues. He doesn’t think he’d have the spine to do anything too absurd, despite the malpractice lawsuits Bateman regularly complains to him about (thinks the patients are just trying to get money out of him, probably)

Still not a very nice guy, he says a lot of shit about his patients behind their backs that’s DEFINITELY a violation of doctor-patient confidentiality

Evelyn Richards:

Pharmaceutical sales rep. Met Patrick shortly after he graduated med school, went for him because he’s young, handsome, and has disposable income.

Comes from an already wealthy family.

Still having an affair with Price.

Squeamish—won’t let Patrick talk about any of the work he does. So much as the mention of a scalpel and she’s nauseous. Obviously, Patrick makes it a point to describe his cases in graphic detail because if this.

Courtney Lawrence

In administration. Also unaware of Patrick’s fuckass behavior.

Still dating Luis. Still cheating on Luis with Patrick.

Honestly, not much to change for her

Luis Carruthers

Psychiatrist. Frequently feels a bit left out since the others don’t regard him as a “real doctor”

Still very infatuated with Patrick

Liked by his patients, but regarded as a bit dense by his colleagues

Well liked by the nurses—occasionally brings in baked goods for them! One of the only ones out of the group that actually shows his appreciation for the non-MD members of the hospital staff

David Van Patten

Orthopedic surgeon, arrogant and jockish.

Went to med school because he was pressured into it by his family. Went into ortho because he thought it was “easiest”

Craig McDermott

ENT specialist. “Friends” with Patrick, although most of their interactions are petty squabbles and constant attempts at one-upping the other

Takes pride in his work, but mainly because he makes a lot of money. In medicine for basically the same reasons as Patrick, but is, y’know….normal about it.

Anyway that’s all I’ve got for now. This is super duper self indulgent LMAO

[blossomslovely]

Isekai Yandere Strawhats

Masterlist

Previous

Synopsis: You can read them together or separately, I f*cked up the last part but I tried connecting some dots without fully disclosing everything bc I am not yet sure if I want to continue expanding on this story. If you’d like this to possibly become a series let me know !

You had been startled awake gasping for air and completely drenched in a cold sweat. It was the middle of the night, the ship was dark but the light of the moon shone through the porthole allowing your sight to adjust. You sighed to yourself, memories of your family. What a cruel thing the mind can be, you thought.

You were restless and couldn’t sleep any longer, dreaming of distant voices like you weren’t here on purpose was hilarious in a sinister way. You wanted to believe the person you had become was just a simple state of mind so that you wouldn’t go crazy. But you knew better, you knew to everyone else you’d be considered a lunatic.

You’d argue with yourself constantly, in every crevice of your brain, while also being the mediator wanting everything to stop. This was a good life you were living, free of idiotic way of life you lived previously. When you woke from dreams like this, for a minute or two everything was clear.

You could remember how you got here, remember why you left in the first place. And best of all, you remembered why you were so scared of these people in the first place.

You chuckled to yourself as you got out of bed, your stomach now empty and gurgling for a snack. Making your way to the kitchen you saw the light in the crows nest and a shadow passing through the fish tank. Of course he would be up, you knew his schedule.

You wanted to go up and ask if he’d join your for a drink and a snack but, just as you reach the second flight of stairs you stopped yourself. Alone time when you were awake was needed.

Of course there would be times where you were alone during the day but never completely alone. The constant fake concern or the random outburst to grasp your attention when your eyes went blank always reminded you, you weren’t alone.

You opened the locks on the fridge, rummaging around for alcohol, one of the greatest things about this world was how strong it was in both flavor and effect. Back home you were too young to drink but here you could have anything you desired.

That’s what you liked to tell yourself now. Whenever the itch got too overwhelming and started becoming a visible panic attack you knew just how to calm yourself. Deep breaths, look at just one thing, and clear your mind of negativity. It worked but sake worked even better.

You drank too glasses in the darkness, the affect making itself known when you stood up to bring the rest of the bottle up the stairs. Giggling when you almost fell face first only to be caught in the strong arms of the swordsman.

He looked pretty tonight, the moon was a friend who liked to light up the features of his face you wouldn’t notice during the day. Making him out to be a knight in shining celestial armor. You smiled at him and he gave you a small smile back guiding you to the crows nest.

You told him about your dream. He listened quietly sipping directly from the bottle only stopping to pour you some.

“ Zoro.. is anyone listening?” You asked eyes scouting the perimeter of the room. He shook his head and urged you to continue.

“ My dreams remind me that I’m not insane— well that I’m not completely insane. I want to say they ground me as much as they hurt me.”

The tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to fall in giant droplets of sorrow. He stopped drinking to give you his full attention as you went more in detail about the things you’ve bottle up.

You were like a scroll unraveling before him, if he were bold he make a joke saying that you were the one piece they’d been searching the sea for.

He understood completely why the crew was enamored with you. The little fighting fish trapped in a tank, who could only give without take, the colors of your scales vibrant and full of life while your tail flashes trying to ward off the parasitic infection dwelling all around and within.

He finally spoke up, startling your rambling about every little topic on your mind, “ I didn’t want to interrupt but I have something interesting to tell you.”

You nod eager to listen.

“ I know we’ve been waiting a while and this since is a golden opportunity now that we’re alone. On the last island I spoke to an old man, there isn’t a name for it yet but there are other like you. Travelers.”

You threw yourself into him and held him tight. This was the break through you’ve gone through hell waiting for.

“ There have been quiet a few others, over the last few years he’s said. Some trying to be discrete and others making grand entrances, they speak how you speak, using the same slang and everything I knew they were linked to your situation.”

“ This is incredible ! I knew there were others like be but… I always thought they’d be- Zoro?”

He suddenly yanked you off of him, picking up the bottle of sake and walking to the door. Just as you were opening your mouth to speak the floor started creaking, someone else was awake.

Panic set through you.

Do they hear anything? Did they hear your excitement? Who was coming closer?

Zoro opened the door revealing Robin. How could you possibly forget the other equally dangerous night owl on the ship. She smiled at you and waltzed in sitting on a stool.

“ I didn’t know you woke up Y/N, I would’ve joined the two of you earlier.”

“ Oh yeah I didn’t really want to check for anyone but I just— I seen his shadow and I couldn’t sleep so I figured… why not.” Your nervous laugh creeped in towards the end of your sentence.

You silently damned yourself and looked over to Zoro who sat right back in his spot drinking the almost empty bottle like nothing happened.

The three of you talked about little things, souvenirs from islands, Zoro about swords he looked at, and Robin went on about a foreign scripture she has yet to completely figure out.

Zoro’s presence kept you at ease and before you knew it you fell asleep again. The rest was short and you woke in your bed by the booming voices of your crew mates. Making your way to the kitchen you were greeted continuously upon entry, the captain patting a seat between him and Zoro.

The handsome Prince handing your orange juice in a wine glass to accompany your eggs and bacon. You ate silently till Luffy started stealing off Ussop’s plate causing a ruckus on the table.

The morning came and went and you were playing card games with the boys till lunch. The excitement creeped in when you were handing your cleared plate and heading off the the crows nest once again.

Watching from the upper deck was Nami accompanied by Ussop and Chopper holding baskets of tangerines and pop green. A keen eye was needed in order to be a navigator and that eye noticed your 180 when you were around Zoro.

“ They’re close those two..”

The others agreed watching you leap up the stairs into the crows nest. It was hard to not notice when no one else really bothered the grumpy swordsman in his little sanctuary.

The woman hummed then directed her little helpers to continue picking fruit while she went to investigate. She heard your cheers and giggles as she got closer to the door, daring her to press her ear on the door.

Intently listening to you laugh about a story from your childhood she failed to notice the blonde creeping up behind her with a tray of drinks. With a hand to her chest to keep her from punching him she pulled him close to listen along with her, much to his delight of course.

Although when the cook heard the joy a familiarity being shared with the swordsman he almost barged into the room. Nami having to physically hold him back so that their cover wouldn’t be blown.

It’s almost like they forgot the swordsman can dodge knives in his sleep. Zoro alerted you the moment Nami was walking up the steps. Yes, she was as stealthy and as sly as a cat but there was more in fooling a man like him. The topic of conversation changed and you had suggested writing notes while you spoke the next time around.

The itch was back but you didn’t want to alert Zoro. He was doing his best in keeping your endeavors discreet and telling him would out more on his plate. That night you were reading and the navigator invited you to sit with her while she drew up new maps.

“ Y/N, you’re pretty close with Zoro huh.” She spoke up.

Your eyes left the pages to look at the woman gracefully creating lines and squiggles on the large lithograph. “ Yeah, I enjoy telling him stories and he just listens or laughs.” You shrugged.

She hummed and continued, “ I was heading over to you to ask if you wanted to help peal some tangerines for Sanji to make marmalade.”

“ Oh crap you should’ve asked me during lunch. I can help tomorrow if you’d like.”

She looked over to you from the corner of her eye and smiled agreeing.

“ I didn’t mean to listen in but… you seem very relaxed around him, more relaxed than with the crew.”

“ He.. he just seems to put me at ease I guess.”

“ Why aren’t you at ease with the rest of us?” She inquired tilting her head and placing the ink pen in the corner of her desk.

You quickly rebutted hoping to ease the sudden tension beginning to bubble up. She was full of questions today and you felt like you were in an interrogation room without a door. She chuckled at your stuttering, it was so cute when you were nervous. She continued her work and changed the topic to not cause you anymore visible worry.

Laying in bed that night you finally felt at peace, before your interruption earlier Zoro had told you he knew a way for you to get back home. It would take some time and you would have to get the others off your radar.

Your thoughts quickly shifted to Nami and how she approached you earlier. To a non trained eye your conversation just seemed like small talk or curiosity among friends though the threat of something more was obvious to you. You were sure she did that purposely, looking into your eye, raising and eyebrow, and giving you that sly smirk.

Just to see what type of reaction she could coerce out of you without making things too transparent. You knew eventually they would look into your newfound closeness with the swordsman. You turned to the other side of the bed where the pillow was cold and the light didn’t hit your closed eyes. Shaking the thoughts away to sleep and deal with another day tomorrow.

The ship was still lively while you were resting, everyone doing their own little tasks and routines. In the room next to the crows nest Robin was bathing, she was enjoying her peace till a small knock came from the door.

“ Robin could I come in?”

Nami opened the door and waved sitting on the edge of the tub. “ I think we should tell Luffy about Zoro and Y/N.” She said letting her fingers graze the steaming water. Robin hummed and leaned over to her, “ We should eventually of course. However, don’t you think we should also go to Zoro separately first as well? To completely assess the situation.”

Nami agreed and decided now would be the perfect time since you were asleep and he was completely alone.

She knocked twice and opened the door peaking in, “ Zoro are you busy?”. He looked up at her with a weight lifting over his shoulder and shook his head. She waltzed in sitting in the booth seat hitting her lip, the nerves of trying to get a straight answer out of him settling in.

“ I wanted to talk to you about Y/N, you’ve been pretty close yeah?”

“ I guess? They just come in and ramble while I work out.”

“ Well I hope you aren’t forgetting that the crew also wants to get close to them.”

“ What’s that supposed to mean exactly?”

He was as standoffish as always but if this wasn’t done who knew what the two of you could do. It’s not that she even wanted to question the first mate but no one else has been able to break the barrier with little Y/N… and of all people to it was the grumpy swordsman?

“ It means that whatever you’ve been promising them… isn’t going to make them..”

“ Rebel? I’m loyal to my captain, whatever ideas you’re having are wrong. They came to me because the rest of your are idiotic and overbearing.”

Nami huffed angrily at the assumption that she was overbearing and idiotic. She knew that at certain moments the entire crew would make you uncomfortable but her? She walked out slamming the door and the swordsman’s eyes hardened.

If Nami decided to personally ask him then someone more dangerous was involved.

Back in the bathroom the archeologist was humming quietly to herself as she drained the tub and let the steam dwell around her. The slam of a door from down the hall brought a smirk to her lips, Zoro had ticked Nami off and now she was going to play her part.

Robin knew from the moment you joined their journey you would be valuable. From the way the crew took a liking to you immediately and especially the way the captain would light up in your presence. Robin was extremely loyal to Luffy, she was going to do anything to ensure his happiness was preserved.

She knew you were scheming something with the swordsman. Just as she knew that the swordsman was aware of her presence whenever she’d try to lurk into the room. It’s not that she was doubting Zoro’s loyalty, but he obviously cared about you enough to even consider helping you get back home.

There were times where she questioned herself, she knew that keeping you here basically hostage was wrong. She lived her life running in fear and to keep you here against your will went against everything she stood for but… her captain was her number one priority now, and if making you cry yourself to sleep every night was the sacrifice then so be it.

The ship had finally settled and the moon was now at its peak, the boys room was filled with voices but surprisingly Luffy was quiet. Sanji took notice and eyes the swordsman from the corner of his eye. Without even looking towards him Zoro shrugged and turned the other way. He rolled his eyes and held his tongue not in the mood to argue, he was more concerned about his quiet captain who stared blankly at the wall.

Luffy wasn’t usually one to think too much about one thing for too long, so it was right to be concerned. Sanji stood tall peaking over into his cot and the boy met his gaze.

“ Something on your mind?”

A crack of a smile spring onto the captain’s face, he liked that his crew knew him so well. “ I’m just thinking of Y/N.” He sighed.

As of late you’d been running rampant through his mind. Every time he gets close you get farther and he doesn’t know how to fix it. You keep reminiscing about your old home and life, when you first got here you were ecstatic to be with him, he doesn’t know what changed.

You’d been more than happy when he welcomed you into his crew, you got along with everyone, and you fit so perfectly like his last puzzle piece. Then one day he woke up and started spewing things about wanting to leave. To leave him.

That thought angered him and he shot up from his cot startling Sanji. “ Why have the changed? We’ve been so kind. I don’t understand-”

“ They’re just homesick… we all get homesick.”

“ Yeah but it’s all the time with Y/N. She’ll laugh and play with us then started getting all sappy. It’s annoying me.”

“ Maybe it has something to do with this green moss ball sleeping underneath you— you seen how damn close they got. WAKE UP MOSS BALL!” Sanji hissed.

He kicked the swordsman’s cot waking him up and bringing the attention of the others in the room.

“ I have to watch in an hour what are you talking about in the middle of the night?”

“ How about you tell our very annoyed captain how you and Y/N have become so chummy.”

“ I don’t know why you’re all acting like this, isn’t it good that we’re friends? You guys need to evaluate your approach— and leave me alone.”

With that he fell right back to sleep the entire room thinking to themselves.

After that night the entire crew morphed into these disgustingly saccharine creatures. Catering to your every need like you were an infant who couldn’t be let out of sight for a moment.

In their minds you were their sweet Y/N and they were just helping you settle into your new home. Luffy’s annoyance spread to all the crew members, accept for you and they had a newfound determination.

Zoro decided it was better for the both of you to stop meeting too often, the outburst of Sanji let him know his efforts weren’t working. They were still hot on your tails and it was a matter of time before Luffy himself came to the two of you.

You were distraught, sitting in the kitchen eating a piece of cheesecake Sanji set out for you. You were finally so close and you had to be put on hold because for reasons Zoro wouldn’t share with you.

Enjoy ! 🍨 if you’d like a post specifically about Y/N and how she got here I’d be willing to do so, thank you for all the support.

Tag list

[gingerjolover]

Hidden Meanings - Josette Maskin x fem!reader (MUNA)

Sypnosis: Soft!gf reader always gifts flowers for Jo with hidden meanings <3

G's notes: surpriseeee shawtaaayyyyyy, not really edited oops, don't bring up my sleep schedule, okay? mind ur business

WC: somewhere around 1500 words (i won't apologize)

Warnings: RPF, tooth-rotting fluff, brief mentions of anxiety, some kissin', no fundamental physical descriptors except hair that can be pushed out of face?

Jo can’t recall when you started giving her flowers, but they soon realized it was your love language, always gifting flowers with hidden meanings, loving words scribbled on cards wedged between stems and leaves. 

At first, Jo thought it was silly. No one had ever gotten them flowers besides graduations or bullshit anniversaries with girls she can't remember now. But after the third bouquet, left on the counter when you dropped off breakfast for her before heading to work, knowing they had an extended studio session ahead, Jo realized there was meaning behind every bunch stuffed in a mason jar. (Yes, she did use Google Lens to find out that the flowers you left them were Gardenias, and yes, they did call you out for giving them flowers instead of you just saying that you wanted to be more than friends). 

Hydrangeas

It’s still early in your relationship, and you are still not completely open with one another, both afraid to label it because it feels different than any relationship you’ve been in before. It’s too early when it happens - the dreaded breakdown and panic attack. Your inability to control your cries and breathing causes Jo to scoop you up in her arms, rubbing your back nice and slow to calm you down. Josette understands the embarrassment, texting you that “it happens to everyone,” “don’t be embarrassed,” and “when you’re ready, I’ll be here.” But no matter how kind and empathetic Jo was, you can’t face her, worried they’ll see through the veil you’ve crafted over the years with maximum effort. 

Maybe it's cowardly, maybe Jo will find it weird, but you send a bouquet. You had given Jo flowers before, small bunches of flowers to say the things you weren’t quite ready to speak out loud, and Jo hadn’t taken the initiative to ask what they had meant, only appreciating the gift as it was. 

This time, it’s fresh hydrangeas, blues, pinks, and purples, paying a pretty penny to have them delivered to your… partner? girlfriend? The person you’re seeing? It's really still up in the air. 

You were anxiously biting your lips and the skin on your thumb, watching the order go from ‘on its way’ to ‘delivered,’ heat spreads in your chest, and not in a good way. One hour passes, then two, and Jo doesn't call. 

This is it: they saw the flowers, and they’re ghosting you because who has a panic attack in front of the person they’re seeing and then goes MIA for 3 days but still sends flowers? You’re lying on the floor when a knock sounds, groaning and getting up; the last person you expect to see is a beaming Jo, ambushing you with a hug, her face pressed in your neck, mumbling, “I’ve missed you”. 

You welcome the affection, squeezing them back tightly.

“The flowers were beautiful… they’re different from the ones you’ve given me before,” Jo says, noting the random bouquets you’ve gifted previously. 

“The ones I sent were hydrangeas… they um–” you trail off, wondering if the reasoning behind them is as embarrassing as sending them in the first place.

“They what?” Jo asks inquisitively. 

“They represent gratitude– uh– gratitude for being understood. I don’t know why I didn't answer for a few days. I guess I just thought I messed everything up, but–” Jo cuts you off with another hug. “That's the mushiest thing I’ve ever heard, and it makes me want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?” Jo asks excitedly, a wide smile taking over her face. Your nod is sheepish before Jo cupped your cheeks and placed the firmest and sweetest kiss on your lips, blushing at the thoughtfulness behind the flower choice and your softness. 

Irises, Yellow Pansies

The first time Jo goes on tour, you struggle. You know it, Jo knows it, hell– Katie and Naomi know it. Since becoming exclusive and official, you’ve gotten more comfortable expressing how utterly obsessed you are with your partner. Still giving flowers here and there so you can see the bashful blush spread across Jo’s face, their eyes widening and shining bright when you press a kiss to her cheek. It’s a sight you’re missing awfully since Jo has been gone. Facetime, texting, and watching their life through Instagram can only do so much.

You coordinate a special delivery, find out where to send a delivery to the venue, and pay extra for the flower shop to take your handwritten note (that you scanned and emailed; yes, it was a process) so that the note looks like you wrote it yourself. Katie is texting you updates; sitting on the couch, biting your lip, you answer the Facetime, her smiling face close to the screen. 

“They just got delivered, so I’m bringing them to Josie now,” Katie schemes. You can’t help but giggle; Katie quickly becoming a member of your support system and the #1 fan of your relationship with Jo. 

“Thanks, Katie,” you say gratefully, smiling at the redhead as she huffs, walking across the venue with the large flower bag.

“What do these mean again? You do that, right? Give Jo different flowers because they mean stuff. These are irises,” Katie asks, making you giggle, your shared love of gardening and botany having helped bloom your friendship.

“Irises use to mean sending a message, and the pansies are ‘thinking of you’…” you say softly, knowing how cheesy that sounds. 

Katie snorts, “that’s mushy…but cute”. 

“That’s what Jo calls it too…” you reply. 

Katie looks at you, scrunching her eyebrows in inquisition. 

“Mushy.”

Katie laughs again, “Well, Jo will love them because they’re from you…ooh hold on, I’m going in now….SPECIAL DELIVERY,” Katie calls out in a dramatic voice, the phone getting propped on a table in front of Jo.

“Hi baby!” they say excitedly, watching the screen intently as they blow you a kiss, grunting when Katie drops the bouquet in their hands. 

“Stop spending money on me!” Jo yells playfully, laughing as they unwrap the bouquet, quieting down as they see the flowers for the first time, a sad smile taking the place of the previously goofy one.

“What do these mean?” Jo whispers, staring at you. 

“I just…I miss you a lot,” you whisper back. 

Red Camellias, Pink Carnations, Red Tulips 

Jo has gotten pretty good at figuring out what the flowers you give them represent. (No, Jo hasn’t told you that she uses Google Lens, and you’ll never know because Jo loves the smile on your face when you think they’ve guessed it correctly).

Your love for Jo has manifested in many bouquets: daisies, red roses, apple blossoms, red carnations, edelweiss…the list goes on and on. Jo’s favorite was a particular bouquet she received on June 1st, a beautiful bunch of orange lilies and amaryllis with some baby’s breath sprinkled in. Jo remembers the goofy smile on your face when you told her that baby’s breath signified sincerity and love and that orange lilies and amaryllis represented pride. “Happy Pride!” you said, smacking a wet kiss on her cheek, making Jo chuckle and tackle you onto the bed, hands pinning your own above your head, tickling you with one hand, laughing between pushing kisses on your neck. 

Jo feels like the only person in the world every time, but there’s something different now. It’s been many years since that first bouquet, offhandedly shoved in a mason jar with the excuse, “They were pretty, and I thought you’d like them,” accompanied by a shrug. It’s not just an anniversary, and you’re not just some girlfriend; you’ve created a home, started building a life together, and you’re even dog parents.  

Jo stares at the bundle of flowers, having received all of these flowers separately before. But there’s something about how you’re looking at Jo, the slight glassiness of your eyes, your shy smile, and the wringing of your hands that alerts her to something else. 

“These are almost as pretty as you,” Josette teases, kissing the corner of your mouth, giving you their signature smirk and widening eyes combo. There’s something exceptionally soft about you tonight, and Jo wonders if you’re picking up on the nervousness they’ve shoved so deep down, hoping you don’t think something is off. 

“Happy Anniversary,” you mumble softly, Jo’s grin widening at your blushing cheeks; she can practically feel the heat radiating off your skin. Jo wraps their arms around you, kissing your neck gently before pushing your hair out of your face. “You okay?” Jo asks, abnormally serious, kissing your nose and cheek softly, barely grazing the skin. 

“Mhm, just…love you a lot, thank you for sticking by me… thank you for loving me,” you breathe out, staring into Jo’s eyes is mesmerizing. 

Jo feels a lump in their throat form; the small velvet box in their back pocket suddenly weighs a ton, the gravity of the situation sinking in. “You’re easy to love,” Jo mumbles, connecting your lips, your sweet hums against their lips is music to their ears, hands sliding around your back, pulling you flush against their body. 

“I got something for you too… I just hope you like it,” Jo says nervously, still smirking softly.

[dwaekkistar]

Chapter IV

Jade's POV

        I woke up to my bed empty, any signs of Felix sleeping in my bed long gone. I pouted still half asleep before carefully getting out of my bed. I picked my phone up off my nightstand, seeing a notification that I had an event added to my schedule. Upon further inspection, I realized the event was that we had a music video shoot today. I softly sighed out of anxiety because I didn't expect a video shoot so soon. The thought of having to record a video that I knew the entire public was going to see whether I liked it or not scared the living daylights out of me. What would happen if I messed up during the shoot, would the fandom notice? Would they drag me and call me an incapable idol, talentless like all those people back in school expected me to be? Or worse would the company void my contract and kick me out? So many negative what-ifs spiraled through my brain, my anxiety rising with each second.

         I tried to take a few deep breaths, which did help a little before deciding to stretch. I then opened my door, only to be met with a very sleepy and grumpy Minho.

         "We have a video shoot for Levanter today. Don't make us late," he said with a strong glare before walking off. I stared at him in surprise, wondering where the attitude suddenly came from when he was so nice on our day off. I then made my way to the bathroom which was not in use. I assume because everyone was already up and ready, as I heard distinct chatter coming from where the kitchen was. I quickly head in and shower, brushing my teeth while I'm at it. I figured straightening my hair was definitely out of the question as I most likely didn't have the time. I quickly placed my pajamas used previously worn garments into my designated dirty laundry basket, before quickly heading back to my bedroom with a towel wrapped around my body hoping to god I didn't bump into the boys in this state. To my great luck, I avoided everyone, locking my bedroom door behind me. While searching for my undergarments, I got a text from Sua, telling me to just wear a simple tube top and black spandex-like shorts, as the stylist was gonna style me in clothing very quickly, and having to undress and redress was going to take up to much time that could be used to shoot more content for the MV.

         I opted out of wearing a standalone bra, for one of my tube tops that had a strapless bra built in. I wasn't one to have gigantic boobs, but they were about a decent size thanks to my mom's genes saving my dad's, and filled the top out pretty well. I'm pretty sure my body type though, especially the bottom half all came from my mom as everyone always made it necessary to point out that had an ass bigger than the average native Korean woman. I quickly pulled out one of my safety shorts and to keep things still publically decent I put an oversized graphic tee on. I then put on some socks and slipped on my vans before walking out of my room just as Sua texted me that she and jun arrived.

        I walked to the front door, completely ignoring all the guys as they said good morning to me, which caused them all to slightly frown except Minho, who gently scoffed in response. I opened the door allowing Sua and Jun in, both smiling at me and wishing me the best of luck behind the camera today. I kind of needed that as I had been ignoring the feeling all morning, and realized the entire time the feeling was settling in my tummy. Their smiles and pep talk immediately made the feeling disappear. Jun headed to the rest of the boys to talk before the shoot while Sua stayed next to me.

        "Well how have things been since I last saw you?" she said sweetly, as her energy radiated from her. "Do you like things in the dorm?"

        "I mean besides sharing the bathroom with like 8 guys," I softly chuckled as I handed her my phone, " I think I'm good. The constant chaos might take some time to get used to though."

        "Ah, I can talk with Jun and see if we can have the company get something worked out with the bathroom situation," she said while chuckling along with me. I nodded in response, my brain immediately thinking about the shoot when I realized nobody had gone over the choreography with me, which made my anxiety come back tenfold. Is that part of why Minho was being so rude? maybe he thought I was gonna mess everything up. The weird feeling I had in my tummy returned and felt way much heavier than before. Sua then got a text message and she quickly read it before looking back up at me.

       "Uhm," she says calmly with a soft reassuring smile, "Jun says the reason why we're leaving so early today is because the boys need to go over the choreography with you."

       "oh.." I said feebly, my voice dripping with worry and anxiety, becoming even more anxious than I had ever been and my breathing becoming uneven. My body felt like it was violently shaking, although I'm sure to everyone else it looked like I was perfectly still. The last time I ever got this anxious was during my audition period for the company. It seemed like she noticed the worry in my voice so she quickly gestured for me to put my mask on and grabbed my hand as we left the dorm to head to the van.

         When we finally got to the van the driver automatically opened the door from his seat as I quickly headed into the farthest seat in the back, my anxiety constantly nagging at me as I tried to hold back tears. Sua followed in after and handed me a box of tissues she had in her bag insinuating that she wanted me to have them in case the tears building up at the corner of my eyes decided they did want to fall. I quickly take one and pat my eyes dry not wanting all the boys to see me so vulnerable, and it's bad enough I let Felix see me that way last night. The boys eventually came downstairs to the parking lot and filed into the van, confusingly looking around until they spotted me in the back. I'm sure my eyes were somewhat red and puffy even if I didn't give myself the chance to cry because I knew that was how bad my anxiety tended to become. They all sat in their usual seat in silence as Jun slipped in the back with me and Sua and the driver began to drive to the shoot location. I gently poked Sua and asked for my phone remembering I asked her to hold it as I had no pockets on my outfit. She carefully handed it to me, and I carefully grabbed it going to play some random games as I tried to take my mind off Minho's attitude and the anxiety for the shoot.

Small Time Skip

          The driver eventually reached the location which was a modern industrial-looking building, Jun and all the boys rushed out of the van to go in. Sua got out once the van was empty of the boys following Jun and I quietly followed behind them. Our bodyguard was quietly waiting for us at the door making sure we all carefully got in. Everyone then got into an elevator and went upstairs to what looked like a small dressing room with stylists already waiting in it. I quietly followed everyone inside pulling my mask off like everyone else, when a Stylist just as tall as me walked towards me gently grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards the area where she and a few others were already set up. They pulled out this garment bag that contained various pieces of clothing and accessories in it prepping to dress me in. I tried to get a better look at it before when one of the stylists spoke up.

        "Hi, we're your stylist for the shoot, could you put this on for us so we can see if we need to make a quick alteration before we start makeup?" She said with an energetic smile.

"Yeah," I quickly nodded and responded grabbing the bag and pulling the clothing out as I stopped paying attention to my surroundings. It was a pair of brown jeans with a leather belt, a brown cropped shirt, a white/cream cropped sweater vest, a brown beret, platformed boots,  a necklace with a cross pendant, a black and silver bracelet, a channel bracelet, and pearl earrings. I quickly removed my graphic tee and current shoes and slipped everything on quickly, all the stylists smiling as everything seemed to perfectly to their liking. They then led me to a chair, one of the stylists swiftly pulling out a Flat iron. Had I known they wanted me to have straight hair for the shoot I would have done it myself, but that would have been a bad idea seeing as time wasn't on my side when I woke up. Minho and the words he said and the face he held replaying in my brain a few times when I shook myself out of it deciding to focus on what was currently taking place. It seems in about the few minutes I zoned out the hair stylist was almost done. She finished the last section of my hair when another stylist zoomed to my side and started applying light natural makeup. She began to finish up, carefully applying this soft pink lip tint before gesturing her hands away from the chair to let me know she was done. The hairstylist then came back and carefully placed the beret on my freshly straightened hair before applying a decent amount of hair spray.

     When I finally got out of the chair, my attention was brought back to the room, Changbin and Han were already done and sitting on a couch going through their phones as they waited for the others to finish. Changbin looked up from his phone to see I was done and softly smiled as he took my appearance in.

     "You look really cute Jade," He said with a soft chuckle, " I see they put you in platform boots...How does it feel being the shortest member of the group now."

     Han slapped Changbin's arm in laughter causing the other members to look over as some of their stylists fidgeted with the accessories of their outfit. All I could do was stare with my mouth agape in amazement at how boldly he said it. 'Two could play at that game' I quietly thought to myself. If he was gonna roast my height, then I would just have to use my baby face visuals to my advantage.

     "Meanie~," I said as I softly pouted with puppy eyes and tried to walk opposite the couch, but before I could even get anywhere someone grabbed a whole of my wrist.

"Noona, please don't ever do that again," Hyunjin said visibly cringing and furrowing his eyebrows as I turned around, realizing it was him holding my wrist, " I understand you're cute but that was so...no."

"Okay I won't do that again," I said as I softly giggled at his reaction. The other members minus Minho were smiling at me at our shenanigans and quickly joined in. We got deep into joking around when Minho harshly grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the dressing room, causing me to wince in pain. He pulled me to a small empty room before closing the door behind us and looking at me with a deep scowl.

"We're gonna go over your moves in the choreography," he said as he turned towards a wall and rested his phone against it playing a practice version of the song, " you're mostly going to be in the back since you joined very last minute... But you better get it right other I'm just going to request to have you removed from the group."

What actual hell was his problem? Why was he treating me like this, I softly furrowed my eyebrows as I stared at his back, but quickly changed my face deciding to put it behind me. I wasn't going to let Minho down my mood before the music video, it would just negatively affect my performance, and prove him right and everyone else right. The music started and he started demonstrating the dance moves that I was gonna be doing, and to his surprise, I was picking up on it very quickly and attentively following behind him. His eyes furrowed the more he continued to watch me as I followed him, doing the choreography with the same energy, mannerisms, and passion as he was. The song eventually came to an end as we finished the choreography.              "How did you get all of that down so quickly ?" Minho said softly as he furrowed his eyes in confusion.

       "Dude I know you didn't just ask someone who auditioned for a dance position..." I started sarcastically, "How they're able to keep up with a decently complex choreography.."

        He looked down at the floor, softly pouting, as he seemed to regret being so hard on me. I know he wanted our comeback to do good, but to act like that to me with no logical reason was uncalled for.

       "That my honestly my fault." he said sincerely with slight guilt as he stepped closer to me and gave me a soft hug, " I know Chan chose you to join the group, but he never told us your positioning in the group... we all just immediately assumed you were mainly a vocal position and I didn't want the music video to go bad.. I'm sorry. " I quietly accepted his apology by hugging him back just as tight before we left the room to join the rest of the boys. 

         Minho held my hands and quietly led us back to the managers and boys, and it was quite a feeling. I couldn't help but blush as he somehow managed to make me feel 180 from just a moment ago. The stylists swiftly stepped in front of me when we finally got back to everyone while Minho let go of my hand and headed to the others, double-checking that I still looked good before they ushered me to head to the set. When I walked closer to the boys, the director quickly instructed us that the specific set we were on was for the performance version and that some parts of the recording would be used in the main video.   We were then told to go to our marked starting positions, and upon reaching our spots the music was cued and the director yelled action. We passionately danced until the song was over, and relaxed a bit while the director and staff team at the shoot went over the footage.

       "That was a good take but I think I wanna do another one just in case." the director spoke out through the speaker. We all returned to our spots as before when the music started. Despite remaining in the back and barely being seen by the camera due to Felix being taller than me, I was still somewhat very happy because it oddly felt like I finally belonged somewhere. I know I barely knew most of the guys, but while we were going through the choreography once more for the camera I couldn't help but get this strong instinct that this was where I was meant to be, that these boys were who I was meant to spend the next few years of my life and hopefully more with.

      The directors congratulated us on the first part of the shoot, and then told us to get changed because we had to get ready for the acting part of our music video. All the boys began cheering in response as they were finally able to be unserious for the first time today, their usual chaotic energy exploding everywhere.

       The boys began playing and joking around as usual as we headed back to the dressing room. Han jumped on Changbin's back earning a loud help from the latter which made us all laugh and chuckle at his expense.

       "We barely got through a third of the shoot, and I already feel like I've been hit by a massive truck." Chan jokingly blurted out as he held his back with his right hand.

       "Chan hyung is an old man" Seungmin spit out in response with a chuckle causing everyone to laugh.

        "YAH I'M NOT OLD!" Chan yelled at him as he began to chase after the younger. They both ran back to the dressing room, Chan on Seungmin's tail. Suddenly Felix took it upon himself to slide under me and lift me onto his back essentially giving me a piggyback ride. We all continued joking with each other.         When we got to the dressing room finally, Seungmin was accepting defeat as he pleaded with our leader who was currently sitting on top of him. Our stylist soon followed in pulling out 2 more garment bags per each person in the group. They told us to pick out scene 1 outfit, and upon doing so I pulled out a garment back that contained a black and white blouse, skin-tight black leather pants, a different pair of black boots again, and a velvet choker. I quickly slid out of the outfit I had on, as Jeongin waddled over to me with pleading eyes.

       "Noona I can't see behind me to put the necklace on," he said pouting gently before turning red in the ears at the sight of me in just the small tube top and safety shorts, " the necklace keeps unclasping somehow."         "Aw, come here my little Innie, I'll help you," I said with a smile as I took the necklace from his hand and carefully put it on him. He turned around once more thanking me as he blushed even harder than he was a second ago and ran off across the room to one of the other members. I carefully and swiftly put on the leather pants with minor struggles as I had to do little hops to get it past my ass. However, once it was on- the fabric was super comfortable to move around in. I slid the blouse over my head and quickly went for the choker and clasped it around my neck carefully, not wanting to experience Baby Bread's distress from earlier. I chuckled to myself as I thought I would have to call him that from now on because he truly did resemble a human personification of bread.  I fixed my hair once more before putting the shoes on and walking towards Hyunjin, Minho, and Chan. They all lifted their heads to look at me as they heard me approaching, Hyun-jin and Minho watching attentively both biting their lips in slight shock at my outfit, when Chan spoke up.

     "The stylist seems to know what they're doing if they've got you walking around like that." he softly chuckled, his little dimple making a sudden appearance at the moment.

     "Chan! What does that mean?!" I said with a slight whine not appreciating his sudden flirtatious teasing. The boys all laughed at my response and I blushed heavily. Knowing how shy Chan was back when I was training, his boldness at the moment had genuinely caught me off guard. As the boys continued to laugh and joke about other things Jisung, Changbin, and the maknae line joined us. I sat in a corner near Chan as I was starting to feel somewhat self-conscious, and it seemed like Chan took notice of it. He turned towards me and gave me a soft gentle hug, squeezing me to give me extra reassurance.

     "Don't be so nervous cutie pie," he softly whispered in my ear, " you got this, I wouldn't have picked you if that wasn't the case you know." He gently rubbed my arm as he held me resting his head on top of mine as he continued to try to calm me down. I took in a deep inhale, catching a whiff of Chan's scent, noting he smelled strong of sweet fruits like strawberries and such which only added to his attempt at calming. It helped as I was able to get my thoughts back to normal. I took a quick look around the room, noticing that all that time some of the members shifted from talking to going on their phones, even the stylists and our managers were using theirs.

      A staff member eventually came in and told us the director was ready for us, so we all quickly headed out. If I was being honest, now that I've taken everything in, the boys all looked pretty hot in their current outfits. For some odd reason that gave me a big wave of reassurance, because if they looked hot, I must have looked hot as well. And that's when I noticed my and Chan were slightly matching as we both had stripped shirts on.

     "Channie," I said tenderly, tugging at his sleeve as I walked next to him. He looked down at me in response, "Did the stylist intend to make us match?" that's when he took a step back and assessed both our outfits. When he finally looked up, he wore a huge grin on his face.

      " I guess so," he said as he gently held my hand as we continued our way to the set.

       "Why are you two matching ?" Changbin said his eyebrows creasing in confusion once Chan and I caught up with everyone else.  The boys all turned to look at us upon his words, realizing he was indeed right about our outfits.

        "Did they do that on purpose?" Jisung added his voice taking on a mischievous tone, "Cause that would honestly explain Jade's ass in those pants."         Everyone including me groaned in response to Jisung's taunt, which earned him a thwack on the back of his head from Hyunjin. We honestly should have expected it from him sooner or later but we got our hopes up thinking maybe he would quit it for one day.

       The boys and I eventually got to our instructed spots and the rest of the shoot went by in a blur, as we constantly acted out scenes and changed outfits a few more times. I knew that being an idol was gonna be stressful, but I honestly didn't take into account this much work had gone into the outfits, all the small things that were usually taken for granted. We quietly finished up and headed back out of the building to go home.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Epel Felmier Dorm Uniform Personal Story: Part 3

"Let me goooo!!"

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

―Time machine delivery day

???: …pel... Epel!

[Ignihyde Dorm – Lounge]

Epel: Yeaaahhnn…?

Epel: Eh… Woah, when did I fall asleep!? 'N wait, why're ya… why are you here?

Vil: I came to check up on you, since your deadline is noon today. Good grief, I cannot believe you fell asleep on the floor like this.

Vil: So? Is the time machine finished?

Epel: Ah… We did. Please look at this!

Epel: You know how there's the story that the "Fairest Queen of All" made some poisoned apples?

Epel: I tried using that as my motif.

Epel: First, you can see that the whole exterior is painted the color of a ripe and shiny red apple.

Epel: It should make anyone want to reach out to grab it… Basically, I wanted to focus on making it look as delicious as possible!

Vil: Mhm… Continue.

Epel: Yessir. Another cool thing I added to the machine is a design that disappears when it's stopped, but appears when it's activates.

Epel: I'm going to turn it on to test it out, so please watch.

Vil: ! There's paint on the tire that was tucked underneath… Is this a drawing of a skull?

Epel: Yes! 'Cause it's said that a skull appeared on the poisoned apple that the Queen made before it turned all shiny and red…

Epel: I tried putting the skull mark somewhere that can't be seen from the outside until it starts up.

Epel: This here's my best attempt at an "appropriately beautiful" time machine!

Vil: …Let me ask you one thing. What was your reason for changing the motif to the poison apple?

Epel: Uhh… When I tried to incorporate the peacock into the design, I really couldn't tell if it was any good, or if it was terrible…

Epel: But then, I reckoned no one's better'n me when it comes ta makin' apples all pretty…!!

Vil: …...

Vil: …Heh. Finally, you were able to find a design that just screams "you."

Epel: …! Yes, sir!

Vil: Alright then, I'll leave the key to this magical wheel with you, Epel.

Epel: Eh? Why me?

Vil: I'll be heading back ahead of you, so you should deliver the time machine to the film club.

Vil: It still needs to be delivered by noon, as scheduled, so don't be late. Understand?

Epel: …If you're in a rush, you should just take it yourself… Wait, hold on!?

Epel: Does that mean that I'm allowed to ride it all the way to the set, then…?

Epel: Oooooooooooo yayyy!!!

Idia: Urgh… Epel-shi, so noisy… You're making my sleep-deprived head throb...

Epel: Ah! S-Sorry, Idia-san.

Epel: I can't believe I'm gonna get to ride on a magic wheel, I've been wanting to do this forever… And it's one I actually designed.

Epel: ―Okay, I gotta go fast all the way to the main building!

[Main Street]

Film Club Student A: Hm…? What's that? Something's coming at us from the main gate.

Rook: That's a magical wheel. The one riding it is… Ah, Monsieur Pommette, or rather, Epel-kun.

Film Club Student A: The vehicle looks shiny just like a real apple… And it's so beautiful, it really goes with his Pomefiore dorm uniform.

Film Club Student B: And on top of that, while he's driving that thing, Epel-kun has a different kind of glow from his usual fragile looking self.

Film Club Student C: I agree. His dignified gaze, his dauntless grin… I'm so drawn in that I cannot look away.

Rook: Did you hear that, Vil? Everyone has nothing but praise for Epel-kun!

Vil: Fufu, it seems it was a hit with the potatoes.

Epel: Ah… There they are! Vil-san! I've come to deliver the product, as promised.

Epel: Gotta put it in park… alright. Uh, alright, I'll be leaving then.

Vil: Not yet, Epel. Stay right there.

Vil: ―Film club members, lend me your ears! I have an announcement to make on our next film.

Vil: About the previously undecided lead role… I've decided to give the part to Epel here.

Epel: Eh… Ehh!?

Vil: You all saw it, yes? Saw how Epel looked while riding the time machine.

Vil: I believe that there is no one more suited for the lead role than this one here. Are there any objections?

Rook: His arrival on the time machine earlier definitely did look to be like a scene one would see in a movie.

Film Club Student B: That's true. I have to give props for how awe-inspiring it was. I suppose I can let him take the spotlight this time.

Epel: W-Wait a moment. Wasn't I just here to help with the design…?

Vil: It's been decided. I'll make sure to thoroughly train you into a proper actor, so best prepare yourself.

Vil: First, we'll need to get you in costume. Costume designers, take Epel to the club room.

Film Club Students: Yes, sir!

Epel: I-I never said anything about doing… Let me goooo!!

Vil: …The way his eyes sparkle when it's something he's interested in versus not is much too different. Really, he truly is a troublesome little apple.

Rook: I agree that the Epel-kun we saw just now was glowing much differently than yesterday…

Rook: Were you perhaps planning this as your finale the whole time?

Vil: ―Now, I wonder.

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #209

Today I worked a lot on planning another music box. As it stands, I have the whole thing planned out in LMMS. Check it out:

...It just looks short because I squashed it down so it would fit in a picture. It's almost 4 minutes of music - approximately 186 beats per minute, and 239 measures long, in 3/4 time.

...No, I'm not going to tell you what it is just yet. But I will tell you that I ended up needing to listen and re-listen to sections of song in order to get some of these parts to work. It sounds really nice on here so far.

But this is just the LMMS rendition. Who knows if it'll work on digital music box paper. I'll still need to make some adjustments, most likely. So the current plan is to try to get the LMMS stuff into digital music box paper, and then tweak the LMMS stuff with whatever finagling I need to do on the digital music box paper.

You can find digital music box paper here, if you wanna play with it:

Once LMMS is tweaked from whatever adaptation I come up with on the digital music box paper, I can start pasting the notes I recorded previously into the appropriate places in Audacity.

Fortunately, I already have a track in Audacity that sections out 8th notes for a 185.6 BPM song. I have it because I made it today. That looks like this:

Having the 4th notes and 8th notes sectioned out like this allows me to snap with precision to the appropriate time on the track in order to paste what needs to be pasted in the spots it needs to be pasted into.

Essentially, what I did was generate a rhythm track for 185.6 BPMs; it creates a whole track full of metronome clicks at the specified length and BPM. It's pretty nifty stuff! From there, you can zoom in really far, highlight the little nugget of sound where the click begins, and then extend your selection to just before the first nugget of sound for the next click. Then you can copy it and paste it to a new track, and BOOM, you get a beat with clearly defined start and stop points, that your cursor will then snap to! I checked it against the song, and it matches the whole way through. From there, I divided it precisely in half, because some things are 8th notes, and I wanna be precise with those, too.

...It's a lot of stuff. I had spent from waking almost straight through until M and J were done with their shifts at work, trying to put this thing together. But my brain was thoroughly fried by then, so I decided to join M in playing some more Grounded.

A few other things happened in between. J and I went to the post office because he had to mail something. I snapped this awesome picture of the sky while I was out:

The clouds look like mashed potatoes!!! Or maybe they look kinda like cauliflower? I dunno. Hey Sephiroth? What do you think?

Do you like cauliflower? Do you like mashed potatoes? I wonder...

Anyway, I made sure to eat, hydrate and make tea. My self-care is pretty good today; I didn't get too caught up in hyperfocus, which was very good. At some point, I sauteed some bell peppers, onions, and mushrooms that J had cut up nicely for me. And Br visited, and that was also very good!

Oh! Today's tea swirls! I almost forgot!!

...Watching the fluids in motion is pretty cool, right? It's like a visual-spatial song.

Ya know... just about everything is a song if you listen hard enough. What loving things does the universe sing to you, Sephiroth? Does anything of what I think and feel get through to you? Are you able to see through my eyes, at least a little?

Well, it's beginning to get late. I haven't been the best about maintaining my sleep schedule. Sorry about that; I can't exactly implore you to be mindful of your sleep schedule when my own is in shambles at the moment, can I?

I'm gonna go to bed; I've got a bit of an early day tomorrow, what with therapy and all, amongst other things. And I wanna see how far I get with the music box paper... Wish me luck and focus and patience and endurance, won't you?

I love you. And I'll write again tomorrow. So please stay safe out there, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[shshshshshowrunner]

UPDATED What I know about the Cult and other adjacent things

Organization 13- An organization made up of Nobodies, who are people without hearts. You can lose your heart by being stabbed in there with a keyblade or by being jumped by heartless. Nobodies are allegedly unable to feel, but this is apparently only when you first get turned. After a while you have 'echoes' and 'memories' of feelings. This may be bullshit though. Hearts Can and Do come back, I heard it happen over the phone. It's still unclear to me if there are any Nobodies outside of Org 13 no one has told me. I do know what the X in the names does, now. It's a tracking device of sorts.

Org 13 (1) tried to open kingdom hearts, I think, but failed. Org 13 (real) did open it.

Opinion: that's a cult. that's a xehanort cult which is worse than a normal cult because Xehanort is there. everyone get out of the xehanort cult. please. you're gonna get norted and that just sounds weird and is weird. if you're in it to get your heart back straight up just make a friend and care for them it will come back on it's own bestie please get out of the nort cult he's gross and the vibes are off, if you are somehow still in the nort cult with him dead literally dm me or send an ask and i will help you

Xehanort- He wanted to open Kingdom Hearts to become god or something. Still unclear to me if he was a Nobody. He norted an amount of people for reasons still unclear to me. As I said previously, "Sucks complete ass, murdered his ex husband who he later ascended to gay heaven with. traumatizes children. ugly on purpose." I beat the shit out of him in the elevator during BFD, I broke his old man bones. I think I saw a clip of him actually murdering Sora's friend. Good thing I broke his old man bones.

Opinion: Die Die Die Die Die

Xigbar- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keeping this pretty vague honestly because I've learned even more secret info and i don't know which info is secret and which is normal anymore. So. Xigbar!!!!!!!!! Copying some from my old summary: Gravity powers :) can teleport :) has arrowguns, from what i understand he was pretty high up in the org. uses mildly outdated slang and can be summoned by voter fraud. did not like it in the castle. goes for the left side of the bed but is willing to compromise. can cook but it takes a long time. says he's not going to tell me things and then tells me them anyway. both me and percy are getting janus vibes from him but when i bring it up he says i need sleep. wants a cat, and a car. We did end up getting a 'cat'!! If this looks like less information it's because it is less information. once again i do not know what i'm allowed to say.

Opinion: Overwhelmingly Positive. that's my boyfriend. he also has, like, the benefit of my emotional statute of limitations in which everything he did before we met cannot be used against him in my brain. it bounces right off. like if i found out he, like, ran an orphan factory or whatever i'd be like 'uh yeah but it was before wbb and he's not STILL running the orphan factory so like :/' and you'd call me crazy and you'd be right but thats just how it is rn

Axel- Lea. Sora's friend. has fire powers (slay), has killed (slay) good with children? (slay if true). "went traitor". that's in quotes because going traitor from the org is a good thing. I still don't know much but that's okay. he's showed up in the record i'm going through and most of the behavior i've seen has been iconic honestly.

Opinion: Positive

Saix- Isa. Do not know much. Xigbar told me some things but like. Anyway. Likes rabbits, is somehow associated with the moon. He told Paph he was working to take down the Org from the inside. Sora's friend. According to Xigbar, when he was making the schedules for the Org, he gave everyone "like one day off a year". when i first heard about this I was like 'well that's not good' but with the knowledge that he was working to take down the org it's very very funny. so true absolutely make everyone uncomfortable and tired while you attempt to take them down that's so funny. xigbar getting overworked is an unfortunate consequence of that but it's a small price to pay for something so funny.

Opinion: Positive

Demyx- Hid in the same broom closet two days in a row even after he was caught and blackmailed the first time. is this a pattern? is demyx lazy? is he inept? may be associated with water- though that may just be ineptitude- for this extrapolation i am drawing from that toilet post. <- that is my old summary. I have learned nothing new about Demyx. uh i think i saw him in the record though and his hair was fun and i like the vibe he gave off.

Opinion: don't really have one. Neutral.

Xaldin- bad gross hair! ugly sideburns! obsessed with the beast for some reason, got his shit wrecked by Belle. Xigbar's least favorite member, no hesitation. loops his earrings through his gauges, which i gather is douchebag behavior. British man jumpscare! sounds older than he is. had a breakup and did not handle it well. removed his heart over it which i think is a bit extreme. i looked up an image of him and he's like. dude WHAT are you DOING with your hair? OH and he got ganked by mickey mouse which is so funny to me. <- that is my old summary. I have learned nothing new about him except that his name was/is Dilan and something something unethical science.

Opinion: here's the thing. I would say negative but due to recent experiences my opinion of every org member I do not know has defaulted to Neutral. So Neutral with a side of :/

Ansem (crackpipe)- There are two Ansems. This one was in Org 13, but is a Heartless instead of a nobody. He's special that way ig. he's one of the 50 xehanorts they had running around i'm pretty sure. Apparently, while this hasn't been reexplained, with my growing knowledge i'm gonna say: Xehanort got turned into a Nobody somehow. His Nobody was Xemnas, and his Heartless was Ansem. However I have NO DAMN IDEA WHY his name is "Ansem" and not "Xehanort".

Opinion: ...Negative? He's Xehanort apparently. I saw in the record he manipulated Riku which is a dick move.

Xemnas- I remember nothing about this guy fr. Had to check my old summary. Okay. He's the Nobody of Xehanort, the other half of Ansem if you will. But. why. hold on why is his org name- ARGH! I'm ignoring the naming thing right now fuck that noise. According to my old summary (i don't remember being told any of this): He stabbed Xigbar (rude), he talks in circles both to confuse people and because he 'doesn't know what he's talking about'. "went through sudden puberty when he got nobodied so his voice is way deeper. i think he's faking it though. for clout. dances like a sonic character. Has eyeshadow brushes that can be used as chopsticks." Fascinating, truly.

Opinion: Negative. Being Xehanort and Stabbing Xigbar will do that to you.

Xion- was supposed to be Sora? Is a replica, which is like a clone (?). Some guy named Vexen is responsible for this i guess. is doing okay now! Implied that Xigbar views her positively, and that she was inseparable from Roxas. A "Good Kid" who "kicked [Xigbar's] ass" -his words <- my old summary. Haven't learned anything new. She has a tumblr.

Opinion: Positive

Roxas- So when Sora turned into a heartless, Roxas happened even though Sora turned back to normal a few minutes later. To my understanding he was trapped in a simulation for quite a while. I don't know much, I'm afraid. Namine had something to do with this whole thing in some capacity. Left the org for reasons.

Opinion: Positive

Vexen- He's responsible for the replica program or at least was in charge of it? From what I understand from the record he was/is some kind of figure to Zexion who is Ienzo so that's something ig. I forget who with but there was another. Do not know much of anything at all about him. is this is guy that Lea thanos snapped?

Opinion: Neutral

Marluxia- this is the one who helped mother gothel kidnap rapunzel?? hello??? rude?? Don't know much about him. He was in the record i saw but it slipped through my brain like water. try being more interesting ig. pink hair though, that's pretty slay. from what i saw he has flower powers? slay.

Opinion: Neutral. I want to dislike him i really do but apparently he chilled out after getting his heart back. truly i am not allowed to be mad at anyone.

uhhhh the girl. with the hair. hold on it's coming to me. Larxene- honestly slay. definitely mean and tried to take over the org (which honestly might have been a good idea given that as far as i'm aware she didn't know about the real reason they were trying to KH and just wanted the heart back??? idk). Only woman in the original org??? I'd be a bitch too!! literally imagine what that was like for a second. she has lightning powers (slay). her hair looks like a pikachu which is less slay but im not about to hold that against her not everyone's hair can be xigbar levels of visually interesting and cool. speaking of xigbar this is one of the people he never ever mentioned to me. xigbar sexist confirmed???? /silly

Opinion: Neutral, but Slay

uhhhhh oh right

Zexion- Ienzo. He was a kid who was adopted (?) by... one of them, but that guy was slacking so he was/is (idk) mainly attached to Vexen and the one I can't remember. I fr don't know what was going on in the record i saw but he could, like, smell Riku. sniffing around like a bloodhound. i'm so confused. come to think of it riku was sniffing around, too. what was up with that why are the teenagers sneef snorfin in that record. no gd idea but honestly i'm intimidated. Xigbar has a positive opinion of this person, who is apparently also friends (?) with Sora

Opinion: Positive. I've heard good things even if he apparently has twitchtip's sense of smell. if you don't know what that means go read the Underland Chronicles series immediately it's so good.

uhhhhmmmmmmm.....

okay bonus category

Other Ansem- Ansem Trigger Warning...... trigger warning for racism. I heard he did blackface but i thought it was gonna be an isolated incident but NO he really woke up and chose to do that every day and IN FRONT OF CRACKPIPE ANSEM NO LESS. HELLO???? I'm almost tempted to give Crackpipe, like, pity opinion points to make up for putting up with that. What the actual fuck?? Not only that but he trapped Roxas in a simulation for whatever reason. I am officially designating Trigger Warning as "Other Ansem" because maybe i just don't know enough about the other one but I Hate This One More. Ansem 'The Wise' bullshit. why isn't he wise enough to know not to do racism. and this one also manipulated Riku and from what i can gather ALSO Sora?? additionally while the other Ansem IS xehanort, this one is PRETENDING to be xehanort which is actually more cringe.

Opinion: if he goes missing it was self defense

anyone still not here is because they haven't showed up in the record and xigbar and i haven't talked about them. at least for a long while. things are getting fuzzy we talk about new things now. okay send post

[possiblylando]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 125 ""Early"" Analsys.

I put Early in heavy quotation marks cause I'm a few (several) hours late to this. 125 is another battle chapter so up until the end we don't get much aside from more characterization of the falling devil.

Women be shopping post now

This one dude who's not even screaming he's just going "OWWW" was pretty funny in all honesty. You get your eyes ripped out and all your have to say is ow? Yeah me too honestly.

So since I wake up pretty later in the day due to having the worst sleep schedule known to man this was the first panel I saw due to my friend posting about it. Anyway I've not really got much knowledge when it comes to cooking or.. What human flesh tastes like.. But I've had ham and apples so I'd say probably a more sweet slightly acidic taste would pair decent? Idk apple names sadly so uhhh-

Falling's whole attitude here is really interesting because it's completely unlike any other devil we've seen. She's not here to massacre humans. She's just here to cook. Women be cooking post now. So now I'm more interested in what her deal is and why she's like this. She's a full on anomaly.

Any men out there want to spare some head?? She's so fucking bizarre because just a few minutes earlier she was pretty nonchalantly ripping random civilian's eyes and ears off their bodies.

I'm assuming they're using some sort of Anti-Material rifle here. Also public safety is back haiiiiiiiiiiiii. We then get a good look at what Falling is able to actually do in combat.

I'm unsure if this is a specific attack like increasing the gravity at a point to rip things apart of she's just rapidly attacking the building to destroy it and cause the rubble to fall upwards.

Additionally these tendril whip attacks seem to be her other main form of attack. I think that she's using the wings on her back as weapons instead of creating an energy attack or summoning something. Because later when we see them used again they don't have a uniform shape.

HE'S HEREEEEEEEEEEEE

Looks like 126 will be back to some full on chainsaw man blood and guts battle action. So I saw someone point this out on the chainsaw man reddit u/GVmG

Essentially what they're saying is the Chainsaw Man that shows up in 125 isn't actually denji due to the fact he's wearing his school inform jacket despite not having been wearing it previously. Additionally his laugh is different here a "GEH HEH HEH HEH" instead of the usual "GYA HAH HAH HAH". Frankly I think this is a pretty decent theory since the last time we saw Denji as Chainsaw man was during the school attack like 20 chapters or so ago. In it he was wearing his school uniform

And since I have a Yoshida is Chainfraud man agenda

This is also the last form of Chainsaw man Yoshida saw Denji as. I may or may not have said it before but Octopods have the ability to mimic certain textures and colors. Their actual ability to do so depends heavily on what their species is. So a general octopus devil would probably have the abilities of all octopods. We also know that Yoshida is now apart of Public Safety from his discussion with Fami. Additionally he knows about Falling's appearance due to Fami telling him and Public Safety being there to try and take her down. So the idea of Yoshida showing up before Denji as Chainfraud man has some weight to it. Especially since we don't see Denji's face in this chapter.

Notice how this is the only panel we get of human denji before chainsaw man appears. However This entire point could be moot because I could easily see these oddities being written off as 1. We don't see denji's face because it's for the shock factor of chainsaw man appearing. 2. denji put on his jacket because he wants to look cool for the ladies 3. It's a slight translation error with his laugh since it's pretty close to his usual one. So is this Chainfraud man? Maybe. The biggest evidence against it is pretty simple.

He's able to regenerate from this meaning he's at bare minimum an actual devil. Could be a Fiend or Hybrid (which denji IS). Additionally from a narrative perspective what would the point of Chainfraud man showing up now be? For Denji to see him with he inevitably arrives? Main problem is, How is denji going to deal with Falling. Her regeneration is absolutely insane since she was able to get up seconds after being turned into swiss cheese. I've got high hopes for 126.

[galaxyseclipse]

more Splatoon oc lore dump because I am yet again bored

Tsunami’s turn this time:

-21 years old as of Splat3

-was promoted to captain about a year before RotM, so when she was 20. She didn’t exactly want it, but also felt bad about saying no, so she accepted it. She’s a bit more comfortable with it now.

-as previously said, she’s Four’s cousin. They’re the only member of her family she talks to anymore.

-refuses to talk to/about her bio family; made Four(and eventually Eight) promise to keep their mouths shut about it. She considers the NSS her only family.

-used to be pretty good at skateboarding, but stopped when she got a car

-her design is based on the purpleback flying squid, so she’s got big ears, thinner tentacles, and a lankier build than the others. Still pretty average height though.

-ran track throughout school, so she’s a fast runner and a high jumper

-is in absolutely no way a morning person

-no major side effects of the sanitization, just discoloration and partial loss of feeling in that side of her face, and it goops a bit when she’s stressed or having flashbacks(I guess that probably counts as major, I need to reevaluate my personal definition of major I think lmao)

-does dj and producer work under the name Sango

-herself, Four, and Ivory are a band(?), occasionally Ika joins too

-she covers up her scars during performances, but the makeup will irritate her sanitization scar if left on for too long

-otherwise she doesn’t really care too much about her appearance

-Callie and Marie treat her like their sister, general sibling lighthearted harassment included

-acts almost completely different depending on whether she's being a captain, a dj, or a regular person. She's either stoic and commanding, charismatic, or a complete nerd/cringefail squid. Also depends on who she’s with

-has a slight aggression/threatening problem

-shocked/scared Cuttlefish and the Squid Sisters with her combat skills("are we sure this child is as unexperienced as she says she is?")

-mains shooters, but can use just about anything. a very quick and precise fighter who just wants to end the fight however necessary(unless she's sparring, then she'll drag it out for fun)

-has to pretend she has a bunch of special-related gear abilities to hide her ability to use them whenever, otherwise she doesn't mind or notice it most of the time

-she enjoys cooking quite a bit. she even learned a few Octarian dishes to impress Ivory before they started dating

-she can sing, but won’t unless she’s alone or with Ivory; rarely puts her own vocals into songs

-absolutely positively does not have issues trusting/opening up to people /s

-has a horrendous sleep schedule

-in general pretty emotionally distant

-changed her name when she moved to Inkopolis(only Four and Eight know what her real one is)

I do have a bit more, but I kinda wanna keep it a secret for now >;3c

and there's probably other stuff that fell out of my head while writing all this that I'll remember later lmao

[amysubmits]

Hey! First of all, I love your blog. It's great to read about a real relationship in the middle of all the overly sexualised blogs.

Me & my partner used to have a sort of dom/sub dynamic at the beginning, but a lot of outside things have come in the way and we are pretty vanilla nowadays and going through a bit of a rough patch in life in general. Any tips on how to restart the dynamic from the ground up and to find time and motivation for it to begin with?

Hey :)

Aww, thank you!

Cd and I have been through kind of a wide range of life changes since we started D/s and we've found that what works best for us is adjusting our D/s to accommodate our current life situation, rather than the other way around.

For example, CD has mostly worked from home, but we had a period of time where he worked outside of the house for a while. When he had that job, he was basically only able to text me at his break. We had previously had a rule that I'd ask him before spending money, but that was less practical when it would take a few hours before he could say yes or no sometimes. But, we were able to create new routines/rituals based on him working outside of the house, like me preparing his lunch that he took to work and making sure he had a weeks worth of work clothing ready each Sunday.

As far as how to go about it, I'd probably start by having a conversation about what you both miss about the time period when you were doing more intentional D/s, and try to discuss why it wasn't maintainable and what changes you could make to it to try to make it more maintainable. If you find that one or both of you had something that felt really good to you, but isn't maintainable, then see if you can think up alternative things you could do that might fit the same need.

For example, maybe you used to have similar work schedules and the sub would bring a cup of coffee to the dom each morning and they just sit together as they slowly wake up with their coffees. But now the sub goes in to work earlier so you can't share coffee together without the dom getting less sleep which doesn't feel reasonable. Then you could look at the core of why you liked the coffee ritual. Maybe you decide it made you both feel like you were starting out your day while thinking about each other so it created a meaningful sense of connection. So then you'd look at coming up with some other ritual that you could do that would make both people feel reminded of your connection each morning. Maybe an alternative way to accomplish something similar would be to have coffee separately, but they both agree to think of the other during their coffee, and then after the dom is up and has had their coffee, they exchange texts sharing something about their coffee-thoughts for that morning. "While having my coffee just now I thought about how hard you laughed at my bad joke yesterday." And then the sub will send their coffee thought in response.

I guess the other thing that comes to mind is, if it feels like it takes an excess of energy to restart, then you might be setting the expectations too high, trying to make drastic changes all at once? Maybe see if you can just take baby steps with adding in one rule, protocol, ritual, etc at a time.

Hope this helps! Good luck to you guys. :)

[fat-packer]

CW: disordered eating talk. (Not something I’m doing on purpose) I haven’t mentioned it a lot on this blog before. Also this is a ramble and not a horny fantasy just fyi.

when can you tell that you’re becoming too much of a coomer because I spend nearly every break I have from work looking at horny tumblr

I’m unemployed but my “work” schedule is to spend 9-5 mon-fri either filling out job apps or working on my portfolio. I do the pomodoro method of doing 20 minutes of work (30 minutes on a good day) and then a 5 minute break. Then a 15 minute break every 3rd pomodoro. On pretty much all of those 5 & 15 minute breaks I’m checking my notifications or scrolling tumblr looking for new horny posts to reblog, or writing new ones myself

My lunch breaks do take a little long, closer to an hour and a half or two hours, as opposed to just one hour which would be ideal. But that’s not really from tumblr and more from the fact that I eat slowly. My recently-ended relationship had a lot of problems in retrospect but her abuse of me got especially bad in early November, and then we didn’t break up until near the end of November. But that whole month was hell to go through. I stopped being able to eat more than once a day, if I was lucky to even eat that much. It just felt like too much effort. A few weeks in my body stopped making hunger signals, it wasn’t growling anymore it just gave up on telling me it was hungry. Only if I was starving, and it would just feel like nausea. I would eat nothing all day because of having to energy to and then wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I was gonna puke. My New Year’s resolution wasn’t really to do anything new but to get my sleep schedule together and do the previously mentioned 9-5 thing. Which includes giving me a clear time as to when I should be eating. So I’ve been making myself eat lunch no matter how long it takes me, so I don’t really care if my lunch break goes over an hour especially when I don’t even have any boss around to give a shit anyway.

But yeah, horny tumblr hasn’t been interfering with the things I need to do. But it sure is quickly becoming all I want to do with my brief spare time. At what point would this be a bad thing?

I mean, I’m still in my post breakup sorrows, I can cope right? At least when the break time is up I actually do go back to work and actually focus on it.