#and my mom doesnt believe in anxiety

[bunnihearted]

🐇☁️🌷🐌

[poorlittlevampire]

also i talked with my grandma abt college and she was so encouraging and excited about it so idc anymore its something i want to pursue ill put everything in my name regarding loans ill take on all the debt idc but its something i want to do ill just figure it out

[lunarsapphism]

there really is something so devastating about having a parent that has a literal degree in psychology (specialized in child psychology) who worked as a birth to three child developmental resources coordinator for like fourteen years and knowing that because of those things, they will never believe you when you think you have something because they think they know more than you and also know you better than you know yourself. and in any scenario the only way they will EVER agree with you is if they came up with the idea of the diagnosis first. wild shit honestly

[rotthepoet]

Need theo and lorenzo head cannons 😔

Good morning sweet pookie, i gotchu!! I needed a little break after that threesome so I did some random, some silly, some fluffy, and some smutty, kay? It’s really just a big brain dump on how I characterize the boys <3 Hope you enjoy, love ;)

P.s. if I have any reoccurring anon’s, if you want me to differentiate you, please feel free to assign yourself an emoji <3 unspoken rule i thought i’d say out loud

Theodore Nott

I agree with literally everyone on this app, he is a smarty pants, but i refuse to believe he sits down and studies

It’s not that he doesn’t care about his grades, he just doesn’t have to try to get good marks. Queen absorbs information like a sponge and retains that shit forever. Doesnt have to waste time with a boring textbook because he commits everything to memory.

That being said, he will remember everything about you. Your favorite movie you mentioned in passing, he saw you eat something particular multiple times he can infer its your favorite and will buy it for you often, he knows your habits, your aspirations, your desires. All of it. Does it for his close friends and lovers <3

Huge smoker. Like. Oral fixation final boss. Needs to have something to smoke or at least chew on at all times

I mentioned before how I think Mattheo and him laugh at people who vape, but Theodore Nott is a two faced LIAR and actually keeps a menthol alto with him at all times. For convenience sake. If you ask him, it’s different because its not a fun lil fruity flavor.

Speaking of Mattheo, those two are best friends. Like ride or die. Like. These two are bread and butter, inseparable and delicious.

Will internalize everything. This is why he gets so worked up and fights people. It may seem like him getting pissy over nothing, but this boy has some unresolved trauma and unmedicated issues.

Theo has ADHD prove me wrong and fuck you for trying(jk love you, but i will die on this hill.) severe anxiety issues, def some depression going on, hes working through some shit.

Theo can process a lot of stimulus at the same time. Watching him hold 3 steady conversations while reading a novel at the same time is a sight to behold.

Smokes weed a lot too. Mostly bud, but he’s smart and keeps a cart on him too for quick bathroom breaks when he needs to chill tf out. It slows down all the thoughts racing around his head. Lets him relax. Lets him feel peace. Let him feel comfortable. He’s been searching for that feeling his whole life.

Mommy and daddy issues check?

Anyways!

Theo is a player, and its not even because he tries to be.

Girls flock towards him, and he needs an outlet.

Sex is a good outlet.

Sex and drugs? Now we’re cooking

He doesn’t care much for the dating scene, didn’t think he was cut out for it. Bad home life. No mom. Depressed and emotionally distant evil dad. Friends and his family are all death eaters? Causes some bad views on relationships as a whole.

Omg but when he falls in love it takes forever but its so hard. Its so devastatingly hard.

It goes from “wow they really make me happy” to “omfg i need to marry them they make me feel complete and comfortable and it feels like i can finally be myself around someone this is the feeling i have been searching for my whole life” really fast when he falls

He’d never love at first sight. Refuse it. He might think someone is pretty or handsome, but he won’t ever describe it as love at first sight.

100% friends to lovers

He’s a quality time kinda guy i think

Just likes co-existing really

Stay in the room with him in silence as he reads and hes so golden

But that will bump up several notches and enjoy every other love language too

He wants to make you love him. He’ll do anything for you. Buy anything for you. Tell you everyday how wonderful you are

He’s being so genuine too

His friends would know

He never shuts up about you

If you had never spoken to his friends, never met them, they’d be able to come up to you in a grocery store and say “oh. You’re <you>, right?”

And dear god he genuinely cries a little in relief when you finally say yes

He’s buried his face in your hair and hugging you so tightly and he tries not to cry because he finally has everything he needs in his arms

He’s such a good boyfriend

Will never question you(at least not at first or without good reason)

Literally worships the ground you walk on

Will apologize first immediately after every meaningless petty fight

Thats different about real fighting though. Stubborn ass bitch

Anyways

Dotes on you everyday

Calls you so many sweet names in Italian

Has an Italian accent but sometimes tries a British accent to throw everyone off.

Argues in italian

Lowkey hates snow

Runs super cold so loves lovvesss hot weather

Will take you to Italy over the summer

Demands you go

Fucks you on the balcony of his family home

Fucks you stupid on the beach

Sorry where was I going with this

Ah yes anyways

Runs super cold so like is a big fan of cuddles. Lots of sweaters for you to steal

He likes turning cuddles into more slow and intimate things

Slowly fingering you as you spoon

Cockwarming in the morning or late at night<3

So much worship.

So much

Just adores you.

Loves fast rough sex but honestly could go on about slow love making for hours

Literally cant stand American reality tv

The biggest kardashian hater

Knows all the gossip because he’s quiet and listens

Doesnt care to share it though

Lorenzo Berkshire

Bitchboy extraordinaire

If I met Lorenzo Berkshire he would become #1 on my shitlist so fast

I called theo a two faced liar as a joke

But Enzo actually is one

Literally puts on the nicest mask for pretty girls, but every ex, and every guy in hogwarts knows he’s a conniving bitch behind closed doors

One of the richest in the group and it shows

Flaunts his money everywhere he goes

His ears are pieced

Also he likes having his ears bitten it can make him hard as a rock in seconds

Dates, but it usually only lasts a month and Hes the worst boyfriend ever

Dumps them whenever he gets bored

But omg when a person gives him his attitude back

Well first he gets even meaner

But also he likes you so much like… that was hot

And if you ignore his existence? On you like a moth to a flame

Craves attention

Such an attention seeker

Still will fight, isn’t very good, but will try

100% a prefect

Showers his pookie with so much love and attention

When he finally gets the person he wants, hes on top of them 24/7

Never a hand straying to far

Literally obsessed

Big fan of exhibitionism

Will fuck uou on the train, the bathrooms, the common room, the classroom

Its all fair game

Would love to see you all tied up in pretty ribbons for his birthday

Ass man 100%

Likes to just get a fistfull while you hug or cuddle

Mattheo and him are the biggest gossipers

Has like 4k followers on instagram because hes so pretty

Father and mother are hirh death eaters. Does anyone know Berkshire lore because i def dont

Like fr can someone explain him to me

Pairs well with anyone in the grouo, really

Gets along especially with Theo or Mattheo

Amazing at card games, and says he’s amazing at chess too. Hes not.

Literally refuses to snack, says it’ll ruin his physique

On the quidditch team much like everyone else he’s friends with

Slays at herbology

Maybe a bit of a smoker? Not often, and def more weed than tobacco

Light weight for reals

Like severely light weight

He’s the laughingstock of the friend group for it

Him and Mattheo have a running bet on who can fuck the most women

Omg omg omg because they so do the alphabet challenge im so sorry but its factual

Lorenzo is currently winning with 15/26 letters in the alphabet but Mattheo isnt too far behind

Its because Lorenzo is so charming and Mattheo…. Is himself.

Anyways back to being his significant other

Will spoil you

Relentlessly

Lowkey expects head in return but that will wear ofd eventually

109% more likely to start a fwb situation than anything else

Treats you like a girlfriend this whole time

Kisses you sweetly, holds uou close when you sleep, mumbles about how special you are

Just being a girlfriend without the title because then it gets too weird

Loses his shit if you get tired of trying and break it off

Genuinely ballistic if he loses you

Will pull as many favors and as many strings as he can to get yiu back

Seriously considers murder for a while

Anyways he gets you back baby<3

Speaking of babies hes super good with kids

Look at that face

Amazing dad face

Scared of marriage lmao

Bad parents. Fucked up views on relationships

Its a thing for all of them tbh

[angy-grrr]

I don't even care if Iz/och becomes canon just PLEASE do not make Ochako a house wife i'm begging on my knees not even her va likes it

I love her VA so much, she just gets it -Ochako is a HERO, not a heroine that lives for her children even before they exist.

In one hand, I agree that we need more characters who are both moms and badass, with their own lives and adventures while being part of their kids lives -but I dont think Ochako should fulfill this role at all. Trad shonen already does this thing of associating girls and women exclusively with love and motherhood; they fight, live and die because of these things -to save the hero, the make the hero happy, to motivate the hero, to even birth him, to make him a complete man-, almost exclusively.

I would very much prefer Ochako to look like she is like that, like her whole character focuses on loving Izuku, but actually has her own ideals and character that do differ from him, and even better -could even scare him away. This is why I love weirdo Ochako so much, she is aware of how her actual 100% honest self would make her be rejected by others including him, because she, herself, would be dangerous by them misunderstandings, just like they did with Himiko.

She chooses to not hurt others and to not see her quirk as a tool for violence because society allows her to view it that way. Because she looks normal. If they didnt? If she was more honest? Probably would end in a completely different way.

Tbh, the heroine as a character, In my point of view, is made to show the audience how much of a man the hero became -he is at the end of the series an adult, in terms of spirit many times, and as such needs to be interested romantically in a woman, and have a relationship. Kids have crushes, from afar -men and women are in love, and dating. Trad shonen do have many times a passing rite for manhood theme, and she works to end it -shes not important as a person, just so we can understand he is, truly, a mature adult.

I believe this epilogue doesnt end with Izuku becoming a man -or any of them really. They are back at school, growing and more mature than before, and they arent done with anything, and besides this, her character doesn't benefit from it, so im definitely not expecting her to become a mother by the end of it all.

Theres only a part of my heart that still feels it can happen and with anxiety waits for an answer, because BNHA is a shonen, and shonen isnt kind to women.

[izzyfizzykitty]

i made like a highschool/modern lost trio/valgrace au so heres it. okay so basically, leo and piper are childhood best friends. since they were like three. they were neighbors and stuff. well when leos house burned down and his mother died, he went to live with piper and her dad. and they lived tg like siblings. leo had a stuffed animal that had a matching pair. his mother had the matching one but it unfortunately burned (leo still kept the remains tho). so off to highschool, in the car there leo is looking out the window. piper is arguing with her dad. “dad can you please not go out? i dont want people swarming us!” leo, sees this REALLY CUTE guy talking to someone (its reyna) but he doesnt say anything. he loves pipers dad and sees him as a guardian but hes still iffy abt dads since his left. now him and piper are walking in the halls and piper sees jason. shes like “oh my gosh, leo, i have never seen such a beautiful man before.” and leo being the guy that he is, supports her. well then they have a freshman relationship. leo gets close with jason since hes over a bunch. at lunch, leo, jason, piper, and other people sit at a table. well technically its just the lost trio but other girls and guys join them bc one; piper is absolutely gorgeous and everyone wants to either, be her or get with her. (she has perfect skin and hair (leo has acne and can barely take care of his curls)) so piper is like forced to talk to them but she tries to talk to jason and leo. well while piper is busy with the others, jason and leo talk. leo is yapping and jason is listening.

okay so now its like end of freshman and piper and jason break up. piper is chill abt it and so is jason. so they have a sleepover. when leo first moved in he had really bad separation anxiety and he and piper shared a bed (at first, mr mclean was iffy about this but then he realized that they were basically siblings so he didnt care) but he had an extra room his kept for leo in case he ever wanted to like move out and stuff. (he does eventually cuz once they start having other ppl over it was a bit embarrassing) so thalia is aroace in this (she looks after jason) shes like “could u please ask to like share a room with leo.” “why?” “well piper is ur ex and it would be awkward also, girl stuff” so jason does. well once jason comes over and leo shows him the room they will be sharing, he forgot to hide the stuffed animal he sleeps with (he cant sleep without it) and jason is like “…i have the other matching one.” (backstory time: he and thalia have the same matching stuffed animals that leo does w his mom and jason has the one leos mom did) and jason cant sleep without his. SO THEY HAVE MATCHING STUFFED ANIMALS. and then once jason leaves in the morning or wtv, leo is like “piper. i think i like jason” and then yk piper is SUPER supportive.

okay so more going back in time. once mr mclean like basically forced leo to his own room since they both were getting older and could barely share a bed, he allowed them to have sleepovers on the weekends (also that both leo and piper got zero sleep cuz they would js be laughing all night) and yk thats when they would have those deep talks. thats when piper came out to leo and leo came out to piper.

piper and shel now. piper and shel are also childhood best friends. piper was born in olkahoma then moved to LA cuz of her dad. (leo was born in texas (i believe) then moved to LA cuz of his mom) shel and piper were like besties in olkahoma. well when piper moved away her and shel stayed in contact. and so then, once leo and jason started dating she was like (during one of those deep sleepover talks) “i think i like shel” then they started dating

the voices are telling me to write this bc i have lots of ideas for percabeth, solangelo, and other ships :3

[notmaplemable]

9 Days Of Lancaster Day 8: Meeting The Family

RJ: *Standing outside the Arc household*

Jaune: Nervous?

Ruby: A little bit.

Jaune: Don't be, they'll love you. And I mean, you meeting my family can't go any worse than me meeting yours.

Ruby: What do you mean? Dad loved meeting you, and Uncle Qrow likes you more than he likes most people.

Jaune: I meant throwing up on Yang.

Ruby: Oh... Yeah, hopefully I can do better than... that.

Jaune: You will. You did great when you met Saph and Terra.

Ruby: But we weren't dating then, and two people are easier to deal with than ten!

Jaune: Well... you aren't wrong.

Ruby: You're supposed to encourage me!

Jaune: I have been.

Ruby: Well I don't feel encouraged!

Jaune: *Sighs* Let's just go meet everyone.

------

Ruby: H-Hello, my name is Rubin Rose!... I mean Robin Rose!... I mean Ronald Rose!... I mean-!

Jaune: This is Ruby.

Ruby: RUBY ROSE!

Mama Arc: *Chuckles* Well aren't you adorable.

Papa Arc: There's no need to be so nervous, Ruby. We've heard a lot about you.

Mama Arc: And if you're anything like your mom, you'll get along with the girls just wonderfully.

Papa Arc: Hopefully.

Jaune: Where is everyone else anyways?

Mama Arc: In the den, we wanted to give Ruby a little bit of breathing room before we throw her to the wolves. *Chuckles*

Ruby: *Mortified*

Jaune: Thanks mom, really helping her anxiety there.

Mama Arc: Oh I'm just teasing.

Jaune: Tease less, please.

Mama Arc: Oh sure, sure. Let's go introduce her to the girls! *Grabs Ruby's hand and drags her away*

Ruby: Eeep!

Jaune: Oh, boy.

Papa Arc: This is going to be a... fun day.

------

Mama Arc: This is Ruby Rose, Summer's youngest daughter, and Jaune's fiancée! Isn't she just adorable?

Arc girls: *Various forms of yes*

Ruby: H-h-h-hi?

Mama Arc: Now, you already know Saphron and Terra.

Terra: Hello again, Ruby.

Saphron: It's been too long. I like what you're doing with your hair now, though.

Ruby: T-thank you. It's good to see you two again.

Mama Arc: This is Garnet, our oldest.

Garnet: I see you like red a lot.

Ruby: Yeah, it's my favorite color.

Garnet: Well, we have that in common. And from what I've been told about you, I look forward to having you as a little sister.

Ruby: Oh, umm. Thanks?

Mama Arc: This is Jaune's twin sister, Joan.

Joan: It's nice to meet you.

Ruby: It's nice to meet you too, you look a lot like Jaune.

Joan: Except a good bit shorter and a lot less muscular now. *Chuckles* He's changed a lot since he left.

Ruby: Yeah.

Joan: Mostly for the better it seems, and I believe I have you and the rest of his friends to thank for that.

Mama Arc: This is Kelly.

Kelly: So, I hear you like weapons.

Ruby: They're my second most favorite thing in the world.

Kelly: Can you show me some cool weapons sometime?

Ruby: Sure! I mean, if you want me to.

Kelly: I do! This is going to be so awesome!

Mama Arc: This is Livie.

Livie: Sup?

Ruby: Umm, not much?

Livie: Hmm.

Mama Arc: She doesn't talk much, now onto the second set of twins. Milly and Amethyst.

Milly: You seem really cool!

Amethyst: You stole my big brother you harlett!

Ruby: Umm, I don't know what that means.

Milly: She just called you a w-

Mama Arc: And that's enough of that conversation! Let's eat!

------

Several hours later.

Jaune: See, I told you it wouldn't be that bad.

Ruby: Your little sister called me a "harlett".

Jaune: She's just getting used to me dating. It'll all be better after a good night's sleep.

Ruby: Where am I supposed to sleep?

Jaune: We have a ton of guest room you can stay in.

Mama Arc: Actually, I donated all of the beds in the guest room to charity.

Jaune: What? Why?

Mama Arc: It doesnt matter why! *Starts pushing Jaune and Ruby towards Jaune's room* You two can just sleep together in Jaune's room while you're staying here!

Jaune: Mom!

Ruby: *Blushing*

Mama Arc: *Pushes them into the room* Have a good night you two~! *Leaves*

Jaune and Ruby look around at Jaune's room, which is currently lit by several candles with some soft romantic music playing in the background.

Jaune: ...

Ruby: ...

[whrrlvr]

zero day oc- holly gabriel

info below

name: holly gabriel , she/her

nicknames: tiny (cal)

birthday: may 7th, 1985 (15 years)

sexuality: closet sapphic

height: 4’11

status: deceased

family: deborah (mom), steven (dad), calvin (older brother), maddie (younger sister), and luke (younger brother)

personality: bit timid but is described as a ‘really sweet girl’. she can get along with just about anyone once she opens up.

disabilities(physical and mental): herniated disc, anxiety, slight ptsd

medicine: zoloft and misc pain pills

hobbies: art (sketching, painting, pottery), spending time with family

friends: sierra fowler, samantha parker, and trenton jackson ; she gets along with about anyone but she sticks close to these three. they are more ‘outcasts’, with sierra and trenton being goths/vamps and samantha an out lesbian. however if asked, she’d say her best friend is cal.

wardrobe: she mainly wears either cal’s hand me down or whatever her mom throws in her closet

-she always looked up to cal growing up, even when he pushed her down a tree and caused her herniated disc. he said it was an accident and she forgave him. the two were 6 and 4 respectively. even with multiple treatment, to this day she has a messed up back and sometimes needs a cane on bad days.

-despite this, cal still hangs out with her quite a lot and she feels she can tell him anything. well, besides the fact that she might like girls romantically, but other than that, anything.

-cal also can be protective of her, the first time majority of people saw cal get visibly angry was when as an 8th grader, holly snuck into a hs party cal was at and he saw someone guy get too close to an obviously inebriated holly. suffice to say, people who witnessed it try to be nicer towards holly.

-she has a very slight crush on both andre and rachel. it’s in the ‘my brothers friends’ way. rachel is nice to holly and once even took her out to the mall. meanwhile andre claims he doesnt have a strong opinion on her, however of cal’s siblings, tolerates her the most.

-on may 1st, holly was in the library in a secluded corner crying because she just failed her recent math test. she knew she was going to have to find some extra credit cause she wasn’t doing too hot in the class once the gunshots went off. she was in a little bit of a dazed but was able to hide in one of the secret closets due to her small stature. she was away from most of the carnage but could hear muffled talking, though she couldn’t make out who was saying what or who it even was. it got silent and she believed they were gone so she relaxed in the closet a bit, waiting for police to arrive. however, her watch went off to signal is time to take her medicine. she tried to silence it as fast as she could but it was too late. one of the gunman started shooting at the closet without looking and she suffered a hit into her shoulder and her forehead. she died never finding out her brother and his best friend were the shooters.

if anyone has any questions feel free to send them to my inbox!

[brains5ana]

zombie blog turn around!!

this is my personal blog about my anorex14 and depression this is both my safe space where i can cope with my life right now and my way of documenting this disorder in case i dont survive it so that my loved ones or anyone who wants them might get some answers.

₊˚⊹ 𐂯please dont interact if you are not already disordered or are in recovery. block dont report this is really all i have .₊˚⊹ 𐂯

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

me ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🦴 ⋅

17 they/them bi and taken veryyy happily dni creeps

life rn - mom died in august now im taking care of my 15 yo autistic sibling and household because my dad is abusive and doesnt really parent. my grandparents help take care of them sometimes but they dont live with us and are televangelists who try to convert us(my sibling is pagan). my sibling is awesome but its a lot to take care of them while grieving so much and i worry about them a ton.

bg - grew up in poverty w pretty bad parents (i love my mom a lot but she was young and fucked me up a little bit as a young kid mostly she was good but our relationship was kind of complicated for while). got bullied really bad from elementary school till quarantine when i was in middle school. my dads a redneck and my mom was a hippie now my dads like a frat bro?? and hes insane.

alternative (riot grrl goth punk etc) i like music(esp live punk shows), painting, writing, horror movies, ZOMBIES

political activist mostly w the environment but also general big leftist

white, able bodied (maybe) hindu vaishnavite

im very mentally ill and have had suicidal thoughts and depression my whole life. diagnosed cptsd, ptsd, chronic depression, generalized anxiety disorder, ana suspected adhd

my ed - got bullied for my weight and started trying to lose weight in 5th grade. i went to a nutritionist in 6th grade who told me to count calories so i did and then i went lower and lower and lower seeing how little i could consume in a day(i also started having an exercise addiction then). in 7th grade i started doing intermittent fasting and restricting below what you need to live in retrospect. then quarantine happened and i started looking at ana tips. id sleep all day until 4 pm to avoid food and workout at night. i got to my lw and was plateauing and worrying about dying so i told my very shitty therapist at the time who told me i wasnt low enough to have an ed but still told my mom who got me an appointment w an ed doctor. and there started my forced recovery bc the ed doctor told me i definitely did have ana and wouldnt have survived another month or two. after resisting for a long time and trying to secretly relapse i gave in. and it worked, i fully recovered. i didnt get thoughts i was happy and didnt have to lose weight anymore. and then people started treating me badly and a girl who was in my friend group started making fun of me for being fat and i realized i cant deal with that and everything else. so im 40 lbs down and trying to loose more.

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

this blog ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🦴 ⋅

BYF - this is an ed bl0g w triggering content do whats best for you i cant facilitate everyones recovery but it is possible and waiting for everyone

DNI - 14 y/o and younger, those interested in recovery (you can so do it i believe in you), creeps, p3d0s, p0rn accounts, fatphobes (fuck off and die), terfs, transphobes, etc

this is a number free blog for the most part and if not ill tag #tw ed numbers or #tw ana numbers

on here ill post wieiads, b0dy checks, collages, diet plans for myself, themed moodboards, a lot of zombie content.

i use the tag #brains4ana or #brains4ana4vent for vent posts (if im coherent enough to care)

other ongoing tws - meat, cannibalism(all the zombie stuff) alcohol addiction, nicotine addiction, mentions of sh, ed (duh)

[moonysfavoritetoast]

i have to do i fucking presentation on my bad fucking henry ford essay (way too much info i already knew all that shit) and im not doing that shit fuck no because my goddamn voice is too high and people will laugh and fucking not shut up bc why is a girl called evan and and i cant even play my trumpet for a playing quiz what makes you think my fucking voice will work fucks sake im never going to need to know how to speak in front of a bunch of bitchy middle schoolers who will do nothing but laugh at my fucking appearance and voice i fucking hate school this shit is what made me relapse last time im going to fucking skip idc if i fucking fail i already am fuck you if you think im just okay with this dumbass shit

the suicide rates were so high yoiu put the fucking prevention hotline number on the back of every school issued id and you claim to want to help us then maybe make the goddamn curriculum more flexible i mean god fucking damn its like kids dont have fucking anxiety that nobody believes is real fuck off with your bullshit about caring about us you just want good test scores and good sports players shit like this is why i want to fucking kms

oh and god forbid i express these feelings in any way to trusted staff. they'll send me to counselling who will immediately call my parents which will get my phone taken because its obviously the goddamn phone making me feel this way. even if i tell them to not call my parents they will. and then my mom will go through my texts because shes worried about me and she'll cry and make me feel like shit when she was the one who started this. she'll find out everything. she'll take my binders away because i wear them too long and she'll never let me see friends again adn i'll be homeschooled again bc obviously school is too much.

she'll try to make me talk to her then she'll get mad and cry and yell when i try to say nothings wrong. she fucking hates me anyways. her backup child is fucking failing even though she was the firstborn. she knows her first daughter was the only chance she had at having a successful child because the other one has a shitty attention span and cant fucking spell anything. her baby girl is a fucking failure and she cant fucking accept im not her fucking baby girl anymore.

clearly i dont know what tired feels like. i sleep so much, why am i still tired? must be faking it. i dont know what depression is and i dont know what pain is. i dont know what anxiety is because i just want attention. she cant fucking accept the fact i'm clearly not neurotypical because i fucking have to be or she'll lose all goddamn hope she doesnt have for me.

nobody thinks somethings wrong and i fucking hate it. im the liar because "youre always so happy"

why would someone my age want to die?

fuck off.

[poorlittlevampire]

by the way idk what im supposed to do bc i don’t think the meds im on work anymore

[simcardiac-arrested]

ok well the first 1 i was forced to kill two kids but w'ere skipping over that one. the wackier one was some guy that was just living a regular life. delivering something to some company. so he delivers it but accidentally opens the package a little and it just looks like some regular marker. so he picks it up from the box and holds it and then presses on the cap and apparently that fires a fucking bullet and it almost kills one of the people he was delivering it to.

so he experiences extreme anxiety and dread and immediately hides under a couch (somehow squeezes himself over a couch thats extremely low to the ground effortlessly) hoping they dont find him but it's kind of futile as hell except he doesn't realise that. he escapes out a window and thinks hes good but then the dream just skips a bunch of time. anyway i [spectating my own dream . as one does] have a weird feeling about the marker and think they probably used it to erase his memory and change it

and now when he's not in his apartment he has to dress up as a woman and act like one..??? i don't even know why this is happening. but he's walking out of class and there's two kids following him and apparently there's a tear in the back of the jeans he's wearing so the two kids see his underwear if he isn't holding his purse over it or whatever. the kids tease him for it and make fun of him for it until he finally gets inside his apartment and just lets himself fall down on his couch after closing the door where he can finally take off the everything that he doesn't like and can just be himself.

apparently he also has a fake family and it consists of my mom, my brother, and some nebulous dad who doesnt have a name and he just kind of.. exists. and he fully believes this is his family. but like. its so obviously not. and they're just acting. and it's so fucking weird man. but he vents his frustration yadawhatever.

more shenanigans continue to happen this man they keep putting him in situations man. he's living this fake life and he doesn't know. he's put in so many weird situations like stuff blowing up or people almost outing him and he's so fucking tired

I Saw The TV Glow (2024)

[zombie-entrails]

all my ocs with sexual trauma and details about them

CW: vague descriptions of sexual intrusives, abuse, assault, and harassment. non vivid but still describing events nonetheless

■ doc. aleks

-has been catcalled, groped, etc. his entire life and at this point is kinda just used to it. he has gotten good at not responding or not making a "big deal" out of it. is good at rejecting typical flirting, though, and is more firm about that than anything

-struggles with withdrawing consent and rejecting others, specifically if they're already coming onto him physically. doesn't know how to make the decisions best for himself especially when blindsided by pleasure

-easily overstimulated and has a tendency to go nonverbal. doesn't know how to communicate when he needs or wants to stop and often rejects attempting other forms of communication. gets a little lost in his head mentally, too, so he becomes generally non responsive

-(TW: gang assault) was once gangraped while inebriated at a party by a friend and some strangers when he was in his early 20s. thinks generally that he was a willing participant, must've liked it in some way, and or did something to engage what happened. reasons his body's physical responses were proof

-mentioned it once to dante and played it off as consensual (dante cried later)

-with the prior info, he also remained friends with said person for years after the event. they never talked about it and proceeded to have consensual relations later down the line. they only stopped talking when aleks became distant with college

-doesnt realize he experiences intrusive thoughts and often believes they're real thoughts he's having. gets extremely frustrated and dissociated when he experiences sexual intrusives and has a tendency to get "snappy" after experiencing an intrusive

-(TW: sexual intrusive as perpetrator) often experiences intrusives where he's the one being forceful and nonconsensual towards another. thinks there's something genuinely wrong with him and has gotten vaguely paranoid about it

-(TW: sexual comments towards a minor from adults) was constantly told he was "going to grow up to be a looker" or that he'd "be a ladies man" when he's older. appearance and physicality were constantly judged by others growing up, especially adults, and doesn't really recognize inappropriateness in said behavior towards him as a minor

-(TW: grooming) that being mentioned he was probably prone to being groomed when he was younger. probably engaged in a few relationships in his late teens to mid 20s with older men & women

■ nicola

-completely sex repulsed and experiences intense body dysmorphia. covers mirrors in the bathroom whenever he's taking a shower and has a tendency to take long showers in order to ensure he's "clean"

-feels shameful about things like masturbation, feeling horny, etc. and this shame often extends to how he feels about anything related to genitals of any sort. has a lot of anxiety about others being aware of his genitals and body functions (like being uncomfortable about others being aware of him in a bathroom)

-(TW: incestual sexual abuse on a child) was sexually abused for multiple years of his childhood by his mom after his parents divorce. was coerced and threatened into silence frequently and was too scared to/didn't know how to communicate to the adults in his life what was going on. became scared of going to his mom's house when it was her time with him and often had meltdowns as a kid because of it

-severely neurodivergent and was diagnosed with OCD at an early age. coupled with the sexual abuse at home he often acted out frequently at school and was constantly given referrals, sent home, put in time out, etc. struggled to maintain friendships due to these problems (josh is goat)

-both his paternal and maternal family look down on him. seen as a messed up failure and is often seen as his mothers "bastard child" on his dads side. dad was the only one that stood up for him and threatened no contact with the rest of the family until they stopped

-it was often suggested that his dad should "beat some sense into him" as a kid by family and strangers alike

-suffers to constant flashbacks, intrusives, shame, etc. and has frequent breakdowns & meltdowns. goes nonverbal almost always and has a tendency to hit himself during these episodes. eventually picked up alcohol as a coping mechanism not long after his dad's suicide

-drinks to forget & clear his mind and will almost always drink to the point of blacking out. mostly a sobbing drunk. once confided in josh about what happened to him as a kid while drunk and isn't aware he ever told him

-if he were to ever engage in anything sexual he'd most likely be hyperaggressive and forceful. views sex as a means of control and power, and it would kind of translate into how he acts during intimacy. would probably bite, shove, choke, etc.

-that being said he'd struggle the most with eye contact and hearing sounds. would need to completely dehumanize someone to be comfortable because the idea of being sexually perceived, especially nude, would scare him beyond comprehension

[twsthc]

octavinelle hcs and projections 🦑🦈

⚠️ warnings: self harm, restrictive eating disorders, self destructive behavior below the cut! there are wholesome hcs too i swear

last updated: nov 10, 2023

collective headcanon: jade and azul learned the common language from textbooks (which is why they talk formally), but floyd learned from listening to sailors speak.

╰ underwater merfolk communicate through clicks + other sounds

FLOYD LEECH !! 🦈🫧

🇯🇵🇧🇧🌺 UNLABLED + GENDERFLUID (he/any)

APPEARANCE HCS:

floyd is mixed with black and tan (#D9AD91- Salmon Sand in the winter)

i think he has really large freckles across his body. i hc him to be bajan because this is the species of moray i hc the tweels to be

╰ i also made a deranged twitter thread about this

floyd has a shit ton of scars and even bite marks from old "play fights"

his two rows of moray teeth manifested in his human form as extra overgrown teeth. he doesn't mind because he thinks they look cool

in merform, both he and jade have two sets of teeth and a pharyngeal jaw

RANDOM HCS:

floyd is 1 inch taller than jade and makes sure jade knows it

bites his tongue and the inside of his cheek on purpose and on accident

she has been banned from painting her nails or doing anything messy other than cooking inside of the lounge ever since The Incident.

floyd has ataxia symptoms on land and is a part-time cane user

has severe mamas boy syndrome and will freak out if he cant talk to her at the end of each week about what he accomplished (didnt bite anyone for the WHOLE day)

he thinks its so cool you can put colors in your hair and on your face above water (why i think he'd be into decora and scene)

enjoys okinawan gyaru styles and traditional hawaiian culture/fashion also

it has BPD, GAD, and separation anxiety!!!

triggering content ahead !!

has been a "delinquent" for half his life and has run away a few times

during his depressive episodes he'll forget to eat for days on end

he can also be self destructive during these episodes (self harm)

he can also get really quiet and it scares the shit out of azul (jade is used to it)

gets really (and reasonably) upset when people other than jade or azul mention his mood swings negatively because he's sensitive about it

channels his anger into cooking rather than fighting or cutting

AZUL ASHENGROTTO !! 🐙⛵

���🇹🇭🇹🌺 BISEXUAL INTERSEX + TRANSFEM (she/he)

APPEARANCE HCS:

AZUL IS FAT AND HAS BREAST TISSUE (my azul hc art for reference)

in my head she looks like mama morton from the chicago musical

i base azul off of the octopus hawaiiensis, thus the vitiligo

he has longer front teeth and sharper teeth, resembling an octopus beak

rectangular pupils

has splatoon hair 🔥

RANDOM HCS:

i am a drag queen azul believer. one of his dreams is to preform in the lounge

extremely double jointed/a contortionist because. octopus.

doesnt make food in the lounge anymore because its so spicy and ethnic it started scaring the pomefiore customers </3 its not her fault shes haitian...

has severe claudication/phantom limb pains and is a part-time wheelchair user, sometimes she uses a cane. book 6 was really taxing on her legs

GAD, ASPD, and gender dysphoria

triggering content ahead !!

has a restrictive eating disorder

back at his moms restaurant, he would purge after being a taste tester

used to self harm when she was younger but is years clean now!

JADE LEECH !! 🐬🌊

🇯🇵🇧🇧🌺 ASEXUAL AROMANTIC + AGENDER (they/he)

APPEARANCE HCS:

pretty similar if not the same as floyd's

jade is a bit paler than floyd despite going outside more (theyre anemic)

i think his makeup and fashion styles interchange at breakneck speeds

monday evil emo ecopunk , tuesday dainty fairy mushroom enjoyer (still evil)

shaved eyebrows

RANDOM HCS:

similarly to floyd, they use a lot of petnames, but normal ones

╰ instead of "goldfishie," he might call riddle dear/honey

also has extra overgrown teeth in human form but hes self-conscious about it

has milder symptoms of ataxia, also a part-time cane user

really good listener and a really good talker. theyll go on hour long rants about what he found on his daily trek, a new recipe he tried, etc

has a lot of random hobbies! the main ones are swimming, stamp collecting, going on walks, and journaling/scrapbooking

owns those DIY jar terrariums as well as a few mini-aquariums

also owns multiple exotic pets/bugs! i think he owns leeche

GAD and autism. his special interests are botony and wildlife

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDa

Aesop Carl

ok so. aesop carl was raised from a young age by a serial killer after his mother died, after said serial killer embalmed his mother alive to 'save' her from a terminal illness. the serial killer, jerry, taught aesop everything he knew. how best to embalm a living person. aesop was taught that this ends a person's suffering, and believes he's doing the world a service by leading lost souls to the afterlife. aesop even embalms jerry after the latter is heavily injured, to end his suffering. aesop then invites himself to oletus manor, for the purpose of leading lost souls to the afterlife and to continue jerry's teachings. when he arrives, aesop finds that he wishes to kill a man named victor grantz for selfish reasons- so victor could be preserved as his "silent friend". however, after the manor is set ablaze by an unknown person known as subject 3-1-4(as of the time of writing), victor rushes inside to prevent any secrets that might have been in any letters from escaping. clearly upset, aesop kills 3-1-4 with the help of a woman named anne lester, and then kills anne shortly after. after all, though neither were suitable to be his "silent friend", aesop still came to the manor with a purpose. aesop then feels that, as his purpose is complete, it's time for his soul to go to the afterlife, and he steps into the blazing building. people either treat aesop like an uwu sensitive baby who can do no wrong, or as a ruthless sadistic murderer, when he's neither. he's a young man who has been taught wrong and is, for the most part, hurting people he believes he's helping- though he does hurt others for selfish reasons as well. hell, almost everyone in identity v is morally grey in some way, but i think aesop fits being misinterpreted the best.

a man trying to help people end their suffering by killing them bc he was taught that was the right course of action is not to be uwufied or seen as a complete monster like ive seen so much. yes he has anxiety and hes autistic(both canon btw) no that doesnt mean hes a soft baby boy. hes a 21 year old young man who was taught wrong since childhood. but he would still kill the man he has what i can only describe as a massive crush on for selfish reasons bc he was never taught how to make friends

his mom died when he was pretty young, leaving him to be raised by a moritcian who had some Ideals about the world. so aesop, a very young child at the time, believes him when he passes on his ideals to him. the ideals of... being a serial killer. injecting people with embalming fluid to kill them and help them "pass into the next life easier" or some bs like that. eventually his mentor leaves to the manor (the entire premise of identity v is that all these guys are in a manor playing a sick and twisted game). when he comes back hes horribly injured, and in the time he was gone aesop found out that his mothers death was his mentors fault and completely avoidable

...so he kills his mentor when he gets back 👍 he then follows the invitation he found on his body to the manor. there he develops a stalkerish obsession with another participant, victor, because of how bad he wants to kill him. the participants in that specific game werent allowed to talk and mostly communicated through letters, which aesop used to his advantage as he could lie to him much easier and gain his trust. he was good at manipulating him in writing.

then victor died in a fire, meaning aesop didnt get to do his Murder Ritual, this was so devasting and sad that he then also walked into the fire (there was also a plot point with him trying to manipulate one of the other participants into helping him murder the fourth contestant before they died, my memory of the timeline here is a little off though)

also, if this affects your opinion of him, he is canonically autistic

so, while he is a pretty bad person and his actions cant really be justified (he is a literal serial killer), it's hard to ignore that he was literally groomed into being a serial killer from like five years old and literally knew nothing else in his life but this idealogy of killing. he never even had a chance to be independent from his mentor or have an outisde perspective to question his ideals. (another thing i forgot to mention, he was taken out of school pretty soon after enrolling, isolating him even further and taking away his independence) (MOD HERE: LAST FEW BULLETS ARE THE SAME PROPAGANDA)

Itachi Uchiha

Itachi was evil!!!!!! Itachi did nothing wrong!!!!!! Itachi is the GOAT!!! Itachi loved Sasuke!!!!!!!! NO! WRONG! SHUT UP!!!!!! Itachi was a fucked up little man formed by his clan and the Shinobi nations to value power and loyalty above all. Because of the way the sharingan is activated trauma is inextricably linked to power which is why he keeps mind blasting him. He wants Sasuke to be powerful because he loves him, and to Itachi being powerful is the only way to survive the Shinobi world. That's why he does all those fucked up things to him. It doesn't mean he was right

[k1ngj0ve]

Random Metalocalypse headcanons

Nathan: I think hes bisexual (but hides it), is deeply emotional, likes and is kind to children but doesnt want any of his own (hopes someone else will have kids he can dote on), the only instrument he plays is piano (but not super well), is straight up the only one here who is actually A Goth, is deeply deeply insecure, has accidentally become a 'can only solve problems with threats' type due to that being how he dealt with bullying. Also he has ALWAYS had vaguelly prophetic dreams since childhood, but cant tell them apart from regular ones and cant always tell if they are good or bad, so he only sometimes does what they say

Skwisgaar: i made a long post about this previously but he has complete dylexia and due to his intense anxiety and his moms general belittling of mistakes he actually is WAY worse at english than it seems like he is and he sort of just muddles through and pretends. His english is much worse when hes thinking about it, which the others noticed, which is why they rarely correct anything he says because hell go silent for 3 days. Also hes bisexual (openly before being in Dethklok) and yes he IS some kind of god child but he probably WASNT appointed for the soul purpose of making babies Toki: not stupid! not 'mind of a child'. Just immature. I headcanon that he was not of-age when he joined Dethklok and someone in Dethklok (i havent decided who is funniest yet) had to legally adopt him to keep him in the country and they kinda forgot. He only hit 21 in season 1 and while he HAD been drinking before that he really started going overboard after it got easier. Also, skwisgaar taught him english (hence same pluralization quirk) but hes now much better at it. Despite his comments about 'superior scandinavian education' he didnt actually go to school and didnt learn to read or write until he was older, but hes very good with computer codes and math. ALSO his parents arent his real parents, he was thought to be a demon child born to a member of the flock with no husband and was adopted to be 'fixed' but ended up just goign towards demonic things since he thinks hes a demon. Is it true? idk. Murderface: Gay but also in-universe many many many many people are attracted to him. Hot people. Movie stars. gay men especially. Refuses to admit hes gay because it feels like 'giving in' to a thing that everyones always said about him. He grew up in Tomahawk with pickles but doesnt have the accent because he took after his grandparents. PIckles mom refuses to admit she knows murderface. ALSO that 'murderface expert' guy is making up at least half of that. he does bath he just has like skin problems and is too impatient to deal with them and too anxious about being made fun of to go to the doctor about minor issues like athletes foot. Hes in a secret highly emotional online relationship with a guy hes only seen in person once because of insecurity reasons

Pickles: trans or cis depending on my mood at the moment ;p Bisexual and knows it but doesnt knwo the word for it. A lot of health problems hes been diagnosed with but he always forgets about. Wears contacts (or just chooses to be blind some days). He is NOT Mollys son, actually, hes Calverts from a mistress which is why his mom hates him so much (also why his dad said he belonged in a 'garbage can', hes referencing that he wishes pickles mom had an abortion). yes of COURSE hes in love with nathan, he just like assumes its not possible and 99% of the time is okay with that. Ofdenson: for some reason i had a misunderstanding for many years that he had ALWAYS been part of the church of the black klok and so even now that i know its not true, i still prefer it. To me, this is why he is so fucking negligent-- in some way the klokateers and audiences must be a blood sacrifice for the apocalypse (or potentially to stave it off? unclear). Additionally he is largely responsible for the entire 'look' of the enterprise. I simply dont believe that half the shit in mordland were ever seen by dethklok or could even possibly have been conceived of by them, let alone asked for. My headcanon is he is the one that started the entire 'branding of the gears' thing and is responsible for the brainwashing (this i think has canon support at least)