notmaplemable

[notmaplemable]

Ruby: Are your parents going to visit for Christmas this year?

Jaune: Probably not.

Ruby: Oh, why?

Jaune: My mom still hasn't gotten over the leash incident.

Ruby: Really?

Jaune: Yeah, she thinks we get up to some weird stuff now.

Ruby: What's weird about someone taking their faunus mate for walkies?

Jaune: ...A lot if you're not a faunus.

[notmaplemable]

Ruby: Fellow Wolf Faunus! Don't fall for domestication! It's a scam, they'll call your behaviors cute and call you a good puppy instead of fearsome and strong!

Jaune: Puppy!!!! Puppy!!!! Who’s a good girl???? Who’s a cute cute doggy???? Little oupy??? Who’s my good good girl???? Huh???? Who is it??? Who is it!!??!!!?

Ruby: *Slamming her fists on the table* I AM, GOD DAMN IT!

[notmaplemable]

Jaune: I know it's going to suck Ruby, but you have to.

Wolf Ruby: No! Not happening!

Jaune: Then you leave me no choice, but to ask...

Jaune: Would you do it for a Ruby snack?

[notmaplemable]

Attendant: Sir, I'm sorry but you can't take that with you on the flight.

Jaune: But she's my emotional support faunus. *Picks up Wolf!faunus Ruby*

Jaune: How could you do a racism to someone this cute?

Attendant: ...I was referring to the sword and gun-scythe thing.

[notmaplemable]

Funny

Ruby: You know, you're pretty funny.

Jaune: Oh, no.

Ruby: Yeah~.

Jaune: No.

Ruby: Yeah~.

Jaune: No.

Ruby: Yeah~.

Jaune: ...Okay, yeah~.

[notmaplemable]

Like A Dog

Weiss: You act like such a dog. Why don't you just start barking.

Ruby: I can bark.

Ruby: Woof~!

Weiss: ...

Ruby: Here's a howl.

Ruby: Awoooooooooo~!

[notmaplemable]

Anniversary

Velvet: So, when is your anniversary?

Ruby: What do you mean?

Velvet: Like, the day you two started dating.

Jaune: ...

Ruby: ...

Jaune: I don't think we have one of those.

Ruby: I think we'd been dating for like two months before either of us even realized.

[notmaplemable]

Hassle

Ruby: It's always such a hassle whenever we have to go on a mission.

Ruby: Yang has to bring all her hair products. Weiss has to bring all of her hair products. Then come the arguments about which brands are better and I somehow end up having to carry twenty pounds of shampoo.

Jaune: Don't worry Ruby, you team isnt the only one that's chaos when leaving on a mission.

Flashback

Jaune: How many times do I have to tell you to tinkle before we leave the dorm?

NPR: ...

Ren: Sorry. *Walks back into the dorm*

[notmaplemable]

Lancaster Kid: How did you and mommy get together?

Jaune: Well it all started when your mom exploded.

Ruby: Your dad helped me up and we were best friends from then on.

Jaune: My partner died.

Ruby: I made you dad walk across a continent with me.

Jaune: Then Atlas happened. I fell into a alternate dimension.

Ruby: And then we had a big fight before we came back to Remnant.

Lancaster Kid: And then you made up and confessed your love to each other!

Jaune: Well...

Ruby: Not before the rest of our teams locked up in a closet until we made up.

Jaune: Yeah.

Ruby: And that's how you were made.

[notmaplemable]

Weiss: What would you do if a suitor took you out to a fast food restaurant for a date?

Yang: Having a dumb conversation with someone while eating greasy hamburgers is my idea of a good date anyways.

Blake: I'd be fine with the food, as long as their was a seafood option, but I'd probably want to go somewhere else to do the actual eating. Like a park, maybe.

Ruby: You girls are getting asked on dates?

[notmaplemable]

Jaune: Ruby, why is the whiskey bottle my dad sent me half full?

Ruby: *Clearly drunk* Because you're an optimist.

Jaune: ...

Ruby: And hot, take off your pants.

[notmaplemable]

Jaune: Ruby, I love you.

Ruby: Ha! I've tricked you!

Ruby: I've been pretending to be normal this whole time! Now that you've fallen in love with me I can be as weird as I want and you can't get rid of me!

Ruby: *Attempting maniacal laughter, it's kind of just a cute giggle instead*

Jaune: ...That was you pretending to be normal?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: ...Do you even know what that word means?

[notmaplemable]

*Jaune and Ruby sharing a bed in a Shade Academy dorm*

Ruby: *Knees Jaune and wakes him up while she tosses and turns*

Jaune: Oww, Ruby you kneed me!

Ruby: *Still half asleep* Yeah, I do need you...

Jaune: *Holding back tears and his voice cracking* O-Okay

[notmaplemable]

RWBY: *Watching a movie together*

Jaune: *Walks in* Hey girls, what's- Is that The Pink Castle?

Ruby: Yeah, it's one of my favorite movies.

Jaune: That's good to hear, but you know, I was actually in this movie.

RWBY: ...

Ruby: What?

Weiss: Your name clearly isn't in the credits.

Jaune: Oh that's because I went by a stage name, John Dark.

Jaune: I was actually in a ton of movies growing up.

Jaune: I played the blacksmith's son in this one.

Ruby: *Definitely had a crush on that character growing up* ...

Jaune: I was the young lord William Redwood in The Princes of Avenlon.

Weiss: *Had more than a few dreams about marrying that particular character* Oh my word...

Jaune: I played Eurig Ritter in the Knight And The Ninja.

Blake: *Wrote an absurd amount of self insert fan fiction with that character* Hmm...

Jaune: I even did a little voice acting, I was Yun the strong in Bat-

Yang: *Fangirl squeal*

RWBJ: ...

Yang: Sorry, I had a moment there. Please, continue.

Jaune: Okay... So yeah, I was in a lot of movies growing up.

[notmaplemable]

Do The Twist

RWBY and JNPR are hanging out in a common room listening to music

Ruby: You know, sometimes I wish I knew how to dance.

Jaune: I can teach you.

Ruby: No, I mean, the stuff you do is probably way to advanced for me. I'd be tripping all over myself.

Jaune: We can start with something simple. Come on. *Jaune pulls Ruby to her feet and pulls her to the middle of the room as the next song comes on*

Ruby: Jaune!

Jaune: Here, this is a simple one. Just move on foot a little forward, keep you arms loose out in front of you, bend you elbows a little bit, and just twist your hips back and forth with the beet of the music.

Ruby: Umm, like this?

Jaune: Yeah, loosen your shoulders up a little bit.

Ruby: Okay...

Jaune: There! You got it! Look at you move!

Ruby: Jaune!

Jaune: Try moving up and down a little bit, like this.

Ruby: *Giggles* You're so silly.

Nora: Hey! Don't you start dancing without us, fearless leader! *Pulls Ren along with her and they both join in*

Ren: We don't want our hours of practice to go to waste, do we?

Nora: You too Pyr-Pyr!

Pyrrha: Well, if you insist. *Joins in*

Weiss: *Watching* I have been trained the most advanced dancers in Atlas since I was a child. They would consider this dancing to be crude and primitive... Yet, it seems fun. *Joins in*

Yang: *Watching as Ruby dances with a big smile on her face as Jaune dances next to her*

Blake: I'm surprised you haven't barged in yet.

Yang: ...

Blake: Yang?

Yang: *Deep inhale through her nose*

Yang: I ship it.

[notmaplemable]

Say Mable, I was wondering something…

Just what IS the family arrangement in your Faunus Zwei AU?

Is Qrow Zwei and Ruby’s dad? Is Taiyang their uncle? Is Yang their cousin who treats them like her siblings? Did Zwei develop the Rose family love for Chocolate Chip Cookies, despite the fact that most dogs are allergic to chocolate?

I NEED TO KNOW!!!

Thank you.

Qrow is married to Summer.

Taiyang is still technically married to Raven.

Zwei is 17 at the start of Volume 1. His birthday is February 2nd.

He was rescued by Summer when he was an 3. A few months after Ruby was born. And was later adopted by Qrow and Summer after much prodding from Summer.

All six live together on Patch, having added an extension onto Tai's cabin.

Yang, Ruby, and Zwei all consider each other to be siblings and Yang does think of Summer as her mom. And her Uncle Qrow as a kind of 2nd dad. As he was around for a good bit more during their childhoods.

Dog faunus aren't actually allergic to coco, but that's a common misconception. Zwei just never really liked it. Really, he's more of a carnivore than anyone else in the family.

Any more questions?

[notmaplemable]

Bedroom

Jaune: This is my childhood bedroom.

Ruby: It's big.

Yang: There are pink bunnies on the wall.

Jaune: Yeah, it's not really all that masculine, is it?

Jaune: But I couldn't really be all that picky.

Yang: There's like 20 bedrooms in this house.

Jaune: Well, I was in the basement before this, so I took what I could get.

Ruby: Oh cool, was it like a finished basement or something?

Jaune: ...

Ruby: Jaune?