#and my mom and I have matching ones that reference the lullaby she used to sing me

[freakbleeds]

tattoos are so comforting when you're homesick it's like omg look at this memory i carry everywhere with me on my body

[harrietpotterandthedemigods]

So, I just finished watching Ducktales 2017. What a gem! But of course my brain did its thing and now I’m imagining all possible post-canon fanfics.

Specifically all the potential Percy Jackson crossovers! Or, should we say Percy “Quackson”?

My main concept is linked to a mystery the characters never address. Which is quite surprising if you think about it. Especially since Webby has dedicated most of her young life to mapping out the Duck’s entire family tree. But Huey Dewey and Louie wanted desperately to know what happened to their mom, yet they’ve never expressed any interest in who their father is.

Now that doesn’t have to be all that weird. I imagine the boys grew up not knowing much about their mom aside from little nuggets Donald would tell them, like; “oh your mother loved this dish” or “your mother actually wrote this lullaby I’ve always been singing to you”. Just enough for them to be curious about her, but they probably realized it made their uncle sad to think about her, effectively stopping them from asking about her. (Though I imagine Donald would have answered many of their questions about Della without hesitation, like how she was as a person.)

When it comes to their father, Donald might not actually know who their father is. They might be the result of a one night stand? I’d say it’s actually quite likely since Della never mentions an ex or anything about her love life for that matter. Maybe Donald never asked in case Della herself didn’t know? It does seem like she was always the wild child of the two. That’s all fine, but it means Donald had no way of dropping lore about him in the same way he probably did about their mom. Actually, forget what I said earlier. Donald did not know who their father was. Had he known, he would have made sure the boys knew him. Because Donald is a good parent.

That said, the boys knew nothing about their dad. But they didn’t lack a father figure. Paired with the previously mentioned point, it makes perfect sense why the boys would not feel the need to know about their father. Unlike with their mother, they never had to feel like they were missing out on having a dad. Donald filled that role. He never calls himself their dad, but he does refer to them as his boys (I’m actually sure Daisy was mentally preparing herself to having to be a stepmother in those vents). And the boys clearly admires him and look up to him, the season one finale clearly shows it. Almost to the point of rubbing it in our faces.😅

So even if the boys were to find out who their father is, it might now be that big of a deal to them.

Huey, Dewey or Louie: Oh, okay, cool. Uncle Donald is still our main father figure, so, yeah, that role’s been filled. Nice meeting you, though.

That said, WE can still be curious though.

And the absence of any clues whatsoever practically gives us free rein to speculate!

Now since I talked about a Percy Jackson crossover, and I’m writing it on this side blog, you probably saw where this was headed.

I suggest that Huey Dewey and Louie are demigods!

Both the Greek and Norse pantheon are real in the Ducktales universe. (Though the liberties taken with the portrayal of Norse mythology are almost offensive in my opinion. Jörmungand is the enemy of the warriors in Valhalla, dam it! He’d never be seen as the underdog man of the people there!) And though we only ever see three Greek gods, we do know many other gods took a liking to the ducks. That’s what Zeus was so jealous of Scrooge for, after all. So it’d be pretty safe to assume that if the boys are demigods, they’re Greek.

Now in this adaptation, the triplets have distinctly different personalities, as opposed to earlier adaptations. That might lead to a possibility of them having different gods as fathers. There are examples of twins with different fathers in mythology. And it might feel a bit easier to match each triplet with his own godly parent.

But… I know a candidate who would fit as the father of all three, and, who I can definitely see falling in Love with Della Duck.

My friends, I suggest, the father of Huey, Dewey and Louie is none other than…

Hermes, Messenger of the gods!

Hermes is also a trickster figure and the patron god of travelers, thieves and anyone who uses the roads really. He isn’t picky about who he sponsors.

Apollo also drops hints about his personality in ToA. That he is a bit adventurous and a wild child.

You can’t tell me Hermes and Della wouldn’t be somewhat each other’s type. They could definitely be seeing each other at least for long enough to create a child, or three.

Additional to being a trickster and a messenger, Hermes is also a god of commerce. These aspects could very well be seen in Louie, who sees all the angles, defeats his opponents by out witting them, and strives to be as rich and successful as his Uncle Scrooge. Though preferably with less hard work and more witty poker strategies.

As previously mentioned, both Hermes and Della are adventurous and the wild child of their respective sibling groups. It should therefore not be a surprise that at least one of their children would be the same. Dewey is the adventurous triplet, and seems to have decided to follow in his mother’s footsteps and become a pilot. He could have gotten his wild attitude from both of his parents, or just one. He is also a bit of a theater kid. He loves to dance and, sort of, has his own talk show. That’s not a clear link to Hermes, but considering he invented two instruments as an infant, one of which became the characteristic lyre his brother uses to play, and is sometimes considered as a minor poetry god besides Apollo, I still think Dewey could have gotten the theatre side from Hermes.

Huey is not as easy. Hermes is neither the god of wisdom nor knowledge. Those domains falls to Athena and Apollo respectively. And Huey’s most prominent character trait is his per suit of knowledge. But I look at his hobbies. He functions as a sort of unofficial sidekick for Gizmoduck. Hermes often act as a travel companion for Zeus when he wanders the earth, and as the messenger of the gods he often assist other gods. Assisting others with tough situations is something all triplets do throughout the series. Also Huey is a junior Woodchuck. Don’t you think the god of travelers would encourage you to learn more about survival in the wild? Hermes is also a god of linguistics and in some cases acts as a mediator between other gods, and can sometimes choose not to fight an opponent he’s expected to fight, showing some levelheaded behavior and certain intelligence, which could be where Huey could get his brains.

But aside from Della and the triplets’ personalities, there’s another piece of evidence. Because we know of at least one instance where one of the triplets has interacted with Hermes.

In season 2 episode 11, Dewey has stolen Hermes’ winged shoes.

But Hermes is the god of thieves, remember? Do you really think he wouldn’t notice a kid was about to steal his stuff?

No way.

It’s my theory that Hermes has either known from the start that he and Della had triplets, or he saw the kids that were obviously Della’s during one of their trips to Ithaquack (is that how it’s spelled?) and simply but two and two together. So when one of them tried to take his shoes, he simply figured he’d let his son have some fun with them. The next time we see Dewey, he no longer has the shoes but he’s completely fine, no harm done.

I imagine Hermes might have appeared off camera and been like; “Hey, I’m glad you had fun with the shoes, but we shouldn’t risk your life by angering Zeus. I’ll take them back and next time you can ask and I’ll supervise.”

I don’t think he’d have told Dewey who he was to him, because a god for a father would become a big deal to the triplets once they found out. And Dewey would probably not repeat the same mistake again by withholding information about their parentage.

So that’s my headcanon. Huey Dewey and Louie are demigod sons of Hermes.

A post-canon crossover fic could therefore feature a satyr taking the boys to Camp Half Blood and learn sword fighting from “Percy Quackson”. How their relationship with their father would then look like once they’re claimed could be up for interpretation. Personally, I’d like to think that between Percy’s trust that gods can change for the better if they want to, and Apollo doing exactly that, Hermes is inspired to become a more present parent to his kids at camp. So if you want to be wholesome, Hermes basically becomes part of the McDuck family through his sons.

But hey, that’s just a theory!

Feel free to share your thoughts about this!🤗

[rhysismydaddy]

can you write a canon rowaelin oneshot where aelin’s pregnant and it’s nighttime so while she’s sleeping, rowan talks to the baby through her stomach and sings a lullaby? and maybe add a scene where aelin’s water breaks and rowan freaks out or something?

It was about two minutes before Aelin’s favorite part of the day.

She could hardly wait, but she had to remember to stay calm and still and everything else someone who was asleep would be. 

Luckily, she knew she didn’t snore, so all she had to do was stay quiet and keep her eyes shut.

A small task that became so much harder when--two minutes later, at exactly 10:30 like always--she felt her husband slip into bed next to her. 

It’d been getting harder and harder to actually stay awake this late as her pregnancy developed, but she still found herself fighting the fall of her eyelids every night, despite knowing she should sleep.

Cool air kissed her skin briefly as he settled next to her and kissed her cheek. Like she’d done even before getting pregnant, she turned on her side so he could snuggle her from behind and wrap his arms around her.

This was home to her, here in his arms. 

Rowan’s head tucked into her neck, and she sighed sleepily, something she didn’t even have to fake.

After a few moments, her husband’s hands began to rub over her stomach lightly. 

She was wearing one of his t-shirts, one that barely fit over her anymore, and hadn’t bothered to wash her hair that day, but she’d never felt more beautiful than when he smiled against her neck and started to talk to the child they’d created together.

He silently slipped further down the bed, resting his head on the curve of her hip, but kept himself wrapped around her so she could continue stealing his warmth.

Aelin’s ears strained to hear as he started whispering, but she resisted the temptation to move closer, knowing it would give her away.

“Mommy’s sleeping right now, so we have to be quiet,” he murmured, big hands cradling her even bigger belly. “But soon, we’ll be able to do this in person. You’ll be here by the end of the week, from what they tell us.”

Tears burned in her eyes at the excitement in his voice as he said, “I can’t wait to meet you, Firefly.”

They’d found out they were having a girl two weeks ago, and he’d been ridiculous ever since, buying pink onesies, hanging matching twinkly lights in the nursery, reading a how-to book about raising girls.

But the one thing they hadn’t prepared for was what they were going to name her. They’d argued about it, and then one day he just started referring to their unborn child as Firefly. 

It was a nickname that stemmed from him calling her Fireheart, and it made her almost cry every time he said it. 

“Your mother’s the most important woman in my life, but you... you’re my baby girl.” She could hear his smile. “You’re going to be just like her. You’ll be strong, and beautiful, and will drive me absolutely crazy.”

Silent tears escaped, even as she remained perfectly still. 

“But I can’t wait to see what traits of mine you have, too.” He pressed his lips to her stomach in a feather-light kiss, then whispered, “I love you so much, little Firefly. Now go to sleep.”

Rowan resumed his big-spoon position and pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her to cradle both her and their child. 

“That goes for you, too, Fireheart.”

Aelin grinned and snuggled further into him, murmuring, “I love you, Ro.”

He kissed her cheek. “I love you, too.”

~

“Are you serious?” 

She nodded. 

“You want lemon gelato for lunch?”

Rowan’s brow furrowed, prompting her to ask, “Why not?”

He looked at her like she had two heads. “You hate lemon, babe.”

Aelin groaned, rubbing a hand over her stomach. She’d forgotten about that. “Take it up with her. She’s the one demanding it. Little brat.”

He scowled. “She isn’t a brat. And she can have as much lemon gelato as she wants just as soon as she’s born.”

Her stomach reminded her once again how empty it was.

“Rowan, I swear I’m going to stab you if you don’t go get me something to eat.”

Her husband just smiled. “It’s moments like these when I’m reminded why I agreed to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“A very short life, if you don’t-”

A container of gelato landed on the counter in front of her, along with a spoon. 

With narrowed eyes, she checked the label, then demanded, “How did you know?”

He laughed. “You talk in your sleep.”

“Eavesdropper,” she mumbled, ripping into the container and taking a huge mouthful. 

See, this is why pregnancy was strange to Aelin. Nine months ago she’d hated lemon, and now this stupid container of gelato was the best thing she’d ever eaten.

“I love you,” she said around a mouthful, grinning when he came to press a kiss to her cheek. 

“And now she’s sweet,” he teased, brushing her hair off her forehead. 

Then he went tense, and every bone in his body seemed to still as he said seriously, “Aelin. Look down.”

“I can’t see past my belly, dummy. Just pick up whatever I dropped.”

His mouth opened and closed for a few seconds before he spit out, “You... your water broke.”

She leaned over slightly to look at the floor, seeing that there was in fact a wet spot beneath her. “Huh.”

She took another bite of gelato.

“Huh?” he asked incredulously, leaving the kitchen and starting to run around the house. He threw things in the bag he’d affectionately deemed The Baby Bag, yelling at her to get ready.

She rolled her eyes and continued eating, only pausing when Rowan burst into the room and demanded breathlessly, “What are you doing?”

“Eating. Can you hand me the pizza from last night?”

Because who was she to question her daughter’s cravings?

“Aelin, we have to go! You’re in labor.”

Reaching the bottom of the container, she sighed. Why did they make pints so small these days? “I’m aware.”

“So then get in the car!”

Her always calm and collected husband looked about ten seconds away from ripping his own hair out, which made her smile. “Labor lasts hours, Rowan. I assure you, I have time to eat a slice of pizza.”

“I’ll order you a whole, brand new, hot pizza at the hospital.”

She considered this, tapping her chin. “Fine.”

Then she turned and waddled down the hallway to their room.

“Wait!” he called out, coming after her. “What are you doing? The door is the other way.”

“I’m not going to the hospital in a wet dress, Rowan. It’s called standards.” Ignoring his angry little growl, she changed into a clean dress. “Zip me up, please.”

He zipped the dress in a flash, almost ripping it, then grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the door. 

“Wait, I need shoes!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, green eyes bright with panic. “Babies don’t care if you wear shoes when you birth them.”

“If you think I’m walking across a hospital floor with no shoes on... grab those, will you?” She pointed to a pair of sandals, not feeling like bending down to get them herself. 

Rowan roughly put her feet in them, making her frown. “I’m not really appreciating this attitude, you know. You don’t need to manhandle me.”

His jaw was tight from where he was grinding it, but he still sounded perfectly civil as he said back, “I just want to get to the hospital.”

Aelin sighed, patting his shoulder. “It’s been five minutes. We have time.”

He looked a little relieved... until she said casually, “Plus, worst comes to worst, you deliver her in the tub. All doctors really do is stand there and catch the kid.”

His mouth fell open, and the attitude came swooping back in. “I am not birthing this child in our bathtub, woman. Now, you can walk to the car yourself, or I will carry you, but either way we are leaving right the fuck now.”

Rolling her eyes, she turned and slowly made her way to the door, pausing when she came back into the kitchen. “You know, cold pizza actually sounds better-”

Rowan swooped her up, the ten pound bowling ball in her stomach seeming to be no issue, and walked toward the front door. 

“Rowan! Put me down, you buzzard!”

He set her in the passenger seat, gripped her chin, and set a serious kiss to her lips. “You’re so sweet.”

Her hands fisted in the hem of her dress. “I don’t want to go yet.”

“You’re going.”

“No!” she exploded, pushing him away and trying to get out of the car. “No, no, no. I can’t go yet, I need more time, I-”

Understanding dawned in his eyes, and he slipped a hand over her mouth to shut her up. “You can do this, Fireheart.”

She was crying, although she wasn’t sure when that had even started. 

She shook her head.

“You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. You can do this. You’re going to be a great mom. I may be freaking out about actually getting to the hospital, but I’m not scared about what follows.”

Aelin gave him disbelieving eyes.

"If I wasn’t sure, one hundred percent positive, that you could do this, then yeah, I’d be scared. But you’re going to do great. I know that, and so do you.”

He took his hand off her mouth, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Sweetheart, you’re great at everything. This won’t be any different.”

That made her smile, even as she rolled her eyes. 

“I am pretty amazing,” she agreed softly.

“Yes, you are. But I’d really like to do this in a hospital room instead of our driveway, and you’re probably half-way dilated by now, so-”

It was Aelin’s turn to cover his mouth with her hand. “Let’s go meet Firefly.”

She didn’t even know the name of her child or how the hell they were going to pull this off, but under the steady weight of his gaze, Aelin knew that no matter what, they’d figure it out together.

~

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Inside Jokes and References in the Full Bios

Mainly for @spacelizardtrashboys and @kuruumiya

Also: Any time strikethrough text is used it's because it's meant to be secret information, for example on the small bios any time 'Lucifarian' truly isn't their last name their is strikethrough test after saying that it's not their real name. This is to say that no matter what is written or if it's strikethrough text or not, it is there for a reason.

Damien - Bio In-Jokes and References:

The Quote for him refers back to his 'King of Hell' gimmick, as does his middle name, Rex means king.

He's protective, like a dad, but also way too overprotective over the gimmicks for the girls. He's an old, old school guy so he enjoys card games with the boys.

He's supposed to sound like a young Hugh Laurie, mainly because if I heard a young Hugh Laurie say Damien's bio quote I wouldn't be able to take him seriously.

His main finisher (Seventh Circle) refers back to (a) him being the king of hell and (b) the seventh circle is for violence, and well, he's a wrestler, that's a pretty violent job.

He calls fans both 'peasants' and his 'loyal subjects' because he's like an asshole-ish king who'd quickly be dethroned if they rebelled.

Vickie - Bio In-Jokes and References:

The Quote for her refers back to her gimmick along with the old saying 'pride comes before the fall'.

She's called 'Victoria' because of both (a) it meaning victory and (b) the fact that Queen Victoria ruled back when Britain had an empire, then the empire fell (as in pride [Vickie] before a fall)

Both Her and Damien are born in August and are the only two to share a birth month as they are Father and Daughter (non-kayfabe, as in they share DNA)

She's raised Christian as back when she was growing up England was a lot more Christian than when she became an adult so she got lax in her beliefs

Her personality is supposed to make her come across as a vain, rich, arse of a person, yet deep down she's still redeemable, she's got a long way to go before she actually redeems herself though

She's the type of person who makes sure EVERY little detail of her matches and promos are PERFECT to the point that she will control what other people do or say, down to the moment it's said/done and the way it's said/done

She only likes the other D.O.D (Daughters of Darkness) members because she has only made enemies in the short while they've been in the company, she especially dislikes George 'The Animal' Steele because of his very messy style going against her 'everything should be perfect' views

She's the leader, the brain and the mouth because of her control over the group, if she let them have more control, there might be less arguments about her amount of control

Her named moves are also references to both her gimmick and other things. Beheader is named because of the Tudor monarchs of England having kind of a thing for killing people in this way (ex. Henry VIII).

Lineage Ender is named that because if she ever botches that one specific move (it'll make sense in context/ she does it during a training scene) it could end either her own Lineage or the person she's doing it to.

Lion's den is called that because she traps them in a near-inescapable crucifix pin, and normally if someone goes into a den of Lions, they aren't escaping in one piece.

Family Pride is named that because not only is her gimmick the sin of pride, but she's got pride in her family and she's her dad's 'pride and joy' because she's his only child.

Wish for this (her main finishing move) is called that because it's an inside joke of "you're gonna 'wish for this' to be over soon"

As she's Damien's blood daughter, a 'prodigal son' joke seemed somewhat appropriate.

Billie - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is a reference to the Guerreros and the whole 'Latin lover' trope

She was born in February because of Valentine's day, hence why her birthday is two days before the 14th

She's 1/2 Cuban (just in general - both Mexican and Cuban culture is interesting to me) But she's 1/2 Cuban in case I ever need to write for Razor Ramon, I can get away with making the joke of 'my Cuban accent's better than yours'.

Her casual style is 'Suggestive' because how else is Lust supposed to dress.

She dislikes Hulk Hogan because she finds him incredibly annoying and she dislikes Jesse Ventura because she dislikes his fashion choices.

I imagine her uncle Hugo looks like Luis Guzman and her dad's like Raul Julia. Try to imagine those two wrestling as a luchador tag team.

Her mother was basically a valet to her dad, which was usually Billie's role before she was part of the D.O.D.

Her move name references are all song references: Love me Tender - Elvis' song of the same name, Personal Aphrodite - a reference to / joke on 'Personal Jesus', Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye's song of the same name.

Also, I hope to eventually use the joke 'The Babe, the babe with the power,' 'What power?' 'Power of voodoo' 'Who do?' 'You do' 'Do what?' 'Remind me of the babe' because of one of her commentary nicknames being 'The Babe'

P.G - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is in reference to her being greed and (right at the start of the story) her thoughts on money actually being able to buy her happiness

her surname 'Voronin' means crow, and well, crows like shiny things, like money

she wears 'fancy but simple' clothing because if she bought designer clothes she'd be in debt, but she still wants to look like she has more money than everyone else

she's cowardly in a Jimmy Hart way, she'll piss someone off during a promo and run away once she feels like she's in danger

she's a showman because she's more show than work, meaning she works exceptionally quick matches.

Her moves are basically jokes on the fact that she is greed, such as Gold-digger and Diamond Ring. However, Money Maker is also a joke on the fact that it's a facebuster and usually an actor's face is called their 'money maker'

She hates Hulk Hogan and Sgt slaughter because of how patriotic they are

Kirby - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is a reference to (a) the fact that she's Gluttony, (b) her being the only one who wears a mask constantly and (c) her basically being the group's scare tactic against people who think they can push them around.

I am planning on eventually making her a part of the machines, maybe as a valet, maybe as a wrestler, not 100% sure as of right now

Her mother is the Norwegian-Scottish one and her father is the Irish-Welsh one

She is the tallest (not the heaviest, that's Damien) but she's still 9 inches shorter than André.

She's willing to bleed hardway, but hates blading

She hates Big John Studd because of his disrespect, she hates Hulk Hogan because she thinks he's obnoxiously 'American', she dislikes Lord Alfred Hayes and Dynamite Kid because they are so insistent on calling her '1/4 Icelandic' whenever she talks about being 1/4 Norwegian. She hates Brutus Beefcake because he's just 'so, so much' energy-wise.

She's always been tall, always shorter than André though, she was 5'6" when she was 12, which is still taller than Sam, P.G and Eli.

Kirby's the best at using folk tales and mythology references in her promos and still keeping them dark and scary.

Her speaking voice is Jessica Hynes, but I imagine her singing voice (which will be important later) to be that of Deee-lite's Lady Miss Kier. On that note, I will be putting up a post on this part of the fic's canon.

Feeding Frenzy is meant to look similar to Roddy's wild punches, hence the 'frenzy' part of the name.

Organ grinder is named because it's meant to look really hard (like she's putting all her force and weight into it) as if she's grinding her opponents organs

Hungry for Blood is an in-joke of during her toughest matches she seems hungry to give the fans the sight of blood

Consummation is a joke of 'the match will soon be over, the match will soon be concluded, or consummated' not the sex-based meaning of that word.

Number of the beast, which is 666, is a reference to the 619, and is a modified 619 basically.

Vampire's Bite is a reference to her sitout jawbreaker looking like she could possibly bite someone's neck, like a vampire, as she performs the move

I didn't want to call her chops, chops, so I made a joke of 'oh it's chopping, like a butcher's knife'

Overfeeding is another basic gluttony reference. Cheshire Grin is a facelock-based joke. Let Them Eat Cake is a butt=cake joke

The ogress is a thinly-veiled way of the commentary team calling her ugly, because why else would she be the only one in a mask

Holly - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is written that way because I always wanted her to sound like she comes from New Jersey

She's very cuddly towards the rest of the D.O.D and thus gets called a teddy bear by the others

She's Pansexual because she doesn't care what your gender is, she loves people just being themselves

She's the only ginger because I've never seen a ginger wrestler from New Jersey

She was raised Catholic but lost her faith upon realising how bad gay people are treated by the church (Holly literally just goes "Y'all it is 1984, how are y'all gonna reject people based on who they love?")

Holly's very much the person who'll ask permission to cut a promo on someone but won't tell them how harsh she's going to be

She's the group's mom friend (mum friend?)

Before she started travelling with another member of the group (Holly travels with Sam a lot) she would accidentally no-show events

She does accidentally give incredibly stiff shots

Holly likes Gorilla Monsoon because their friendship is very much a weird pseudo-dad-daughter friendship, so basically, she's using him as her new dad

Her voice is Angie Harmon because I think Harmon sounds like a badass from New Jersey

Naptime, Dirt Nap and Lullaby are jokes of 'I'm gonna knock you out'

Eli - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is a joke of 'this is why she doesn't do a lot of promos'

She's the most likely to be on one of those 'too hot for TV' blooper reels from her promos

Both she and Sam hate people taller than them

Sam - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is a reference to the fact that her tattoos are her 'masterpiece'

she dresses athletically because she's always ready for a fight, especially because she's usually the one picking fights

She likes Lou because he's like a crazy uncle to her and she likes George Steele because, unlike Vickie, she likes the wild man side of his gimmick

She's voiced by Melissa Etheridge because she's still feminine but is the most masculine sounding

[punkrockmads]

Christmas Eve

I look over my shoulder, seeing my five year old daughter asleep in the backseat, her cheek pressed against the side of her carseat. I smile at the sight of her tiny blue plush seahorse held tightly in her little hand. I turn back around, glancing at my wife as she drives. I put a hand on her shoulder and she offers me a warm smile.

"Everything okay?" Yara asks, looking at me before quickly looking back at the road.

"Yeah." I nod, rubbing her arm. "Riley's asleep." Yara looks in the rearview mirror, a light chuckle escaping her lips.

"She couldn't go to sleep last night." Yara grins, lacing her fingers between mine. "Too excited."

"Yeah?" I bring Yara's hand to my lips, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. "You should've woken me up. The song always works." I say, referring to the lullaby I've sung since Riley was little. "When was the last time they got to see her?"

"Let me think." Yara pauses with a sigh. "Ellie and Dina saw her last year and... I think Joel and Tess saw her when we first brought her home."

"Wait, what about your sister and Lev?" I ask. Yara and I had gone to visit her sister Abby and her family a few months ago. It's hard going out to visit family since we live in the mountains in Colorado and they live in Wyoming. Ellie, Dina, and JJ live just north on their farm. Abby and Lev live about an hour away from them. My father and mother are further out near the northern border of Wyoming on their own farm.

"That was about three months ago." Yara reminds me.

"Oh, that's right!" I chuckle. "God, sometimes I feel like I'm eighty instead of twenty two."

"Careful, you'll start sounding like your father." Yara teases.

"Oh, God." I groan. "You remember when he saw JJ for the first time and said 'I'm so fucking old'?

"Poor Joel." Yara and I laugh at the fond memory. "He's gonna be there right?"

"I think so." I nod. "He said he would be."

"Mommy?" The sound of Riley's adorable little voice makes me turn my head. Yara and I decided before we brought Riley home that I would be 'Mommy' and she would be 'Mama'

"Hm?" I respond, noticing her seahorse has fallen on the floor. I reach back to grab it, stretching toward it.

"Are we there yet?" Riley asks, her big brown eyes hazey with sleep.

"Almost, babygirl." I answer, handing her the stuffed seahorse.

Riley's almost a spitting image of Yara. When Yara and I were nineteen, I found a baby seat sitting near the dumpsters of the old apartment building we used to live in. At first, I thought nothing of it. But as I got closer, I noticed the carrier still had something in it. A very tiny baby who looked to be only a few months old. Yara and I rushed her to the hospital immediately, finding out she had been abandoned by her mother.

We stayed with her as often as possible. Friends and family would stop by to check on us. They'd try to get us to go home and get some rest. We just couldn't. Not with this precious little miracle here alone. I remember her sweet little laugh when she saw us walk in one day. She reached out for us. That's when we knew this little girl would be a very important person in our lives.

After months of being in the hospital, the baby was finally back to a healthy state. We found out later that she was about two years old and, after being immediately bonded to the girl, Yara and I decided to adopt our baby Riley. We had been married for only a year, but we always knew we wanted to have children. The day we brought Riley home from the hospital was one of the best days of our lives.

"I wanna see grandpa." Riley grins, kicking her little feet.

"You will in a bit, sweetheart." Yara says as I look forward. "Hey, look out the window. I think Aunt Ellie has the sheep outside." Riley gasps as she turns to look out the window, seeing all the sheep grazing around in their field. I watch her eyes light up, a lock of long black hair falling against her cheek. She stares at the sheep as we pull into the driveway. When Yara parks the car, I get out and go to get Riley out of her carseat. As I'm unbuckling her, I hear the front door of Ellie and Dina's home swing open.

"Aunt Ellie!!" Riley cheers, running to her as soon as her feet hit the ground. Ellie kneels down, arms wide open. Riley runs into then, almost making her fall over.

"Woah!" Ellie chuckles. "Look at you all dressed up!"

"Mommy picked my outfit." Riley says, showing off her sparkly red dress and black tights. "And Mama picked my shoes."

"Well..." Ellie picks Riley up, grinning. "Let's go get your moms and head inside. It's cold!" Ellie steps off the front porch, leaving footprints in the snow with her winter boots.

"Is grandpa here?" Riley asks as I pull her backpack as well as another bag out of the trunk. Yara grabs our suitcase, kissing me on the cheek as I close the trunk.

"Should be soon." Ellie assures, putting Riley down. I sling the backpacks over either shoulder before hugging Ellie with a tired sigh.

"It's so good to see you again." I say, happy to finally be able to visit my sister.

"It's good to see you guys, too." Ellie says, moving to give Yara a hug. "Let's head inside. It's gonna get really cold soon." Riley is already two steps ahead of us, making her way inside and running over to Dina. I follow Ellie and Yara inside, immediately noticing the beautiful Christmas decorations. Lights strung up around every doorframe, paper snowflakes of all different sizes taped to the wall and hung from the ceiling, family photos placed on every shelf, and a beautifully decorated Christmas tree with a picture of Ellie, Dina, and JJ when he was just a baby resting nearly in the center.

"Beautiful as always, you two." I hum. "It looks even better than last year!"

"Hey, guys!" Dina calls, walking out of the kitchen with Riley on her hip. "Good to see you!" She hugs Yara and I while still holding Riley. "God, it's only been a year and you've gotten so big!" She laughs, smiling at Riley.

"I'm five now! I'm almost an adult!" Riley states matter of factly.

"You are so smart!" Dina laughs. "I hope you're not too grown up to play with JJ. He's only a year younger than you."

"Where is he?" Riley asks. Dina sets her down.

"I think he's in his room. Why don't you go up and see him?" Riley looks up at Yara and I, silently asking for permission.

"Go ahead! It's okay!" Yara assures and Riley runs off. "Be careful on the stairs, please!" Yara shouts after her. We watch Riley climb up the stairs, holding on to the railing just like I taught her. She's a bit too small to reach the actual rail itself so she clings to the siding. I set the bags down, taking Yara's coat off and hanging it up for her before doing the same with mine.

"Cute sweater, Mads." Ellie says as I pick up the bags.

"Thanks, I stole it from Yara." I laugh, glancing at the pale blue sweater I wore specifically because it belongs to my wife.

"God, you're like Dina!" Ellie chuckles. "She steals my clothes all the damn time!"

"I do not!" Dina cuts in, nudging Ellie.

"Whose flannel is that?" Ellie asks knowingly as she tugs on the sleeve of the pale grey flannel.

"....Yours." Dina groans, swatting Ellie's hand away. "Here. I can take your bags." She offers.

"Oh no, that's okay!" I assure. "Yara and I can take them to the guest room." Dina nods, squeezing Ellie's hand.

"Alright. I'm gonna go finish up dinner." Dina sighs. "Come help me, babe?" She asks Ellie.

"Course." Ellie smiles, following Dina into the kitchen. I head to the guest bedroom, Yara following close behind. The usual grey bedding has been replaced by a dark blue comforter with large white snowflakes and four matching pillows. A porcelain snowman sits on the nightstand beside the lamp. As I turn around to head back out, I bump into Yara.

"Oh!-" I'm about to apologize when she crashes her lips against mine in a hard, loving kiss. Her arms wrap around my waist, holding me close. My eyes close, arms moving to wrap loosely around her neck. She pulls away with a soft chuckle as I take a breath. She smiles at me, resting her forehead on mine as she tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. I place a hand on her warm cheek, feeling the way she leans into my touch.

"I love you, honeybee." Yara mumbles, pecking my lips once more.

"I love you too, my angel." I hum. "It's so nice to be able to spend Christmas with everyone this year."

"It is." Yara agrees. We stay there for a peaceful moment, enjoying the quiet before the front door opens again.

"Hello!" An old but familiar voice calls out. Dad! I kiss Yara once more, taking her hand and leading her back into the living room. My father stands at the door, taking his coat off. Ellie and Dina walk in from the kitchen. Ellie walks up to Dad, hugging him. "Hey, kiddo!" Dad greets. "This place looks amazing!"

"Thanks, dad." Ellie says as Dad hugs Dina. As soon as he lets go, I run up and hug him. I haven't seen him in four months when I came up to help him and my mom on their farm. I feel myself tearing up.

"How the hell did we get here before you?" I chuckle, sniffling a bit. "You live an hour away from here."

"It's good to see you too, babygirl." Dad laughs, patting my back. "God, y'all have grown up. Stop makin' me feel old."

"Where's mom?" I ask, watching him hug Yara.

"She's outside talkin' with Abby and Lev. Got here when we did." Dad explains. "Where are my grandkids?" Dad looks around, finding no sign of his grandchildren. "Riley! JJ!" Suddenly, we hear the sound of two pairs of feet running to the stairs.

"Grandpa!" Riley cheers, a wide grin on her face.

"Don't run down the stairs!" I warn, afraid she might get hurt. I look away when the door opens, Mom walking in followed by Abby and Tess. I look back a second later to see my daughter jumping from the middle stair. I gasp, getting ready to yell when Dad catches her. I let out a relieved sigh, looking to Yara to see she had the same reaction as me.

"Don't you scare your mamas like that again, peanut!" Dad chuckles, squeezing Riley and ruffling her hair as she giggles.

"Never again." Yara sighs as I take Riley from Dad.

"I'm sorry." Riley says, hanging onto my forearms. "I won't do it again."

"Good." I nod, adjusting her on my hip. "You're forgiven. Now go see grandma."

"C'mere, Jellybeans." Mom says, kneeling down to hug Riley and JJ. "You're both getting so big!!"

"Are your bags still in the car?" I ask, noticing my parents didn't have overnight bags.

"Yeah." Mom answers. "Hey, how are we gonna fit everyone in here tonight?" She asks, standing up and pulling her coat off.

"Yara and I are gonna sleep in the den with the kids." I answer, hugging my mother. "It's so good to see you guys." I hug Abby and Lev. "Hey, can you stop being taller than me?" I joke with Lev.

"I'm only taller by an inch." He laughs.

"Yeah, and I envy that." I laugh with him. "You're gonna stay out here with us right?"

"Like always." Lev nods as Yara pulls him into a hug.

"Missed you, loser." Yara teases, hugging her brother.

"Missed you too." Lev replies. "Let go, you're squishing me!" Yara laughs, letting go and offering to take her siblings' bags to one of the guest rooms.

"Nah, I got this." Abby says, grabbing their bags.

"Hey, Abby?" Dina calls. "Have you asked out that girl from the cafe yet?" Abby doesn't bother turning around, playfully holding a middle finger up in the air.

"I'm TRYING!" Abby laughs. "Not everyone is as confident as you, Dina!"

"Yeah, she's not as confident as you think." Ellie cuts in, grinning at Dina's teasing glare. Everyone jumps when the front door swings wide open.

"What's up, bitches?!" Manny screams, an exhausted Jesse following close behind. Manny is wearing one of the brightest green Christmas sweaters I've ever seen.

"LANGUAGE!!" Yara reminds him, gesturing to Riley who has found her way back into my dad's arms and JJ who clings to Ellie's leg as she walks around the house helping Dina and I get things set up.

"Right, sorry!" Manny apologizes, forgetting there are small children in the room. Jesse laughs, putting a hand on Manny's shoulder.

"I'm about to make this house a little less full if you use that language in front if my kid again, Emmanuel." I say, only half joking.

"Yes ma'am." Manny nods with a half smile.

"Okay, everyone's here!" Dina cheers, setting up a camera. "Let's take some terrible Christmas photos and then we can have a great time, yeah?"

As the day passes by, the snow outside falls, covering the ground and the rooftops in a cold, white blanket. Ellie's gotten all of the sheep back inside the barn with a little help from JJ. The two walk back inside. Well, JJ kind of waddles. His snowsuit is a tiny bit big on him.

"It's cold out there." Ellie shivers, helping JJ out of his snowsuit before taking off her coat and boots. She picks up JJ as Dina walks over, wrapping a blanket around the two of them and kissing Ellie. "Thanks babe." Ellie says as Dina ruffles JJ's hair.

Mom and dad sit on the couch, dad's arm wrapped around mom, Riley sitting on his lap playing with her seahorse. Dad talks to Riley about why her seahorse is blue while mom talks with Manny and Jesse about the cruise they plan on taking for Christmas. Yara, Lev, Abby and I gather around the dining table playing UNO since it's not a good idea to play Poker around Riley. She's very smart for her age but Yara and I both agreed that she shouldn't be around when games like that are played. We made that mistake already with Cards Against Humanity.

"UNO!!" Lev yells, setting a card in the pile. We all laugh at Abby's wide eyed expression.

"How-" Abby stutters. "I HAVE LIKE TWENTY CARDS!! YOU'RE CHEATING!!" We laugh louder at her frustration as she begins to laugh at herself.

"I'm not cheating!" Lev defends himself. "Mads, tell her I'm not cheating!"

"Oh, you're probably cheating." I tease him, setting another card down. "UNO, by the way."

"YOU'RE CHEATING, TOO!!" Abby yells, her and Lev laughing so hard their faces turn red.

"Maddy, stop cheating!" Dad jokes from the couch. Ellie hands a sleeping JJ to Jesse, sitting beside dad. Jesse holds his sleeping son close, Manny watching in awe beside him.

"Jesse, we need a kid." Manny mumbles.

"Absolutely not." Jesse chuckles, rubbing JJ's back. "This little guy is plenty." Manny grins, wrapping an arm around Jesse.

"Babe." Yara nudges me gently, pulling my attention back to the game. "Your turn." I take a split second to look at the pile of cards and then the card in my hand before slamming the card down.

"And, I just won!!" I cheer, standing up and raising my hands in the air.

"No!!" Lev yells. "I was cheating and I STILL lost?!"

"You WERE cheating!!" Abby yells back. "We're FAMILY!!"

"Alright." Dad sighs, standing up and picking up Riley. "I think it's time we show your mommy how it's done."

"Bring it, old man." I tease, waving him over. He chuckles, looking at Riley.

"Whaddya say, peanut?" He asks her as her eyes light up.

"Yes!" Riley nods, pulling on the sleeve of his grey flannel. Dad nods, carrying Riley over and sitting at the table with her in his lap.

"Hey, all of you are playing! Get over here!" Lev orders, looking around at everyone.

"I'm holding my sleeping son, Lev." Jesse points out, looking at JJ with a small grin.

"Oh, hang on!" Dina rushes off into the den, coming back with the baby wrap they got before JJ was born. She helps Jesse put it on, making sure JJ is secure as he sleeps soundly in his dad's arms. "Alright, let's play."

A little while later, Dad slams his last card down. "We won!!" He yells, Riley cheering along. Surprisingly, JJ stays sound asleep.

"BY CHEATING!!" Lev yells, making Riley giggle.

"Just because we beat you doesn't mean you can accuse us of cheatin'." Dad laughs. Everyone goes off to do their own things again while Ellie and I pick up the cards.

"Riley's so much like you." Ellie says, closing the game box.

"Yeah, it's scary." I chuckle, watching my daughter climb on Dad's back.

"Hey, crazy!" Riley says, using the nickname she's come up with for her grandpa. "Play a song?" Uh oh. How can you deny a cute little face like that?

"Alright, peanut." Dad agrees, standing up. "Here, you go to mommy while I grab Aunt Ellie's guitar." Dad hands Riley over to me, giving me a loving smile before heading upstairs to find Ellie's guitar. Dad taught both of us how to play guitar the minute we were big enough to hold one.

After hours of my father playing different songs and even being convinced by Riley to play the Other Father's song from Coraline while she and Manny danced to it, everyone is beginning to grow tired. Riley sits on my dad's lap, watching him play different chords to show her the sounds they make. My mother leans against him, her eyes closed as she silently listens to the twang of the guitar.

Manny and Jesse have left to get to their cruise after putting JJ in his bed, making sure to say goodbye to everyone and leave a few gifts for JJ and Riley under the Christmas tree. Dina and Ellie sit beside each other on the loveseat, Dina's legs resting in Ellie's lap as they mumble about anything that comes to mind. Abby and Lev sit in front of the TV watching The Walking Dead. Once Yara and I finish wiping off the kitchen counters, she takes my hand and guides me to the couch, sitting down beside my mother. She takes my other hand, pulling me onto her lap. I wrap my arms around her, resting my body against her and laying my legs across her lap. Riley looks over at us with a big smile, pushing past Dad's guitar and climbing over mom to get to us.

"C'mere, babygirl." I chuckle, opening my arms for her as she crawls into my lap.

"Did you have a good Christmas Eve?" Yara asks Riley before peppering her face with kisses. Riley giggles, using her tiny hands to try and push Yara's face away. She nods when Yara finally gives in to her protests, placing one last kiss on her forehead. I hold onto Riley's shoulder as she shuffles closer, leaning against me. She takes Yara's hand in her little one, lining their fingers up. I watch as she silently compares them, moving my hand to rest on her back. Dad continues to play quietly, stealing glances at the three of us with his usual "proud father" look. Yara runs her free hand through my hair, her head resting against mine. I can feel myself drifting off, the sound of a song dad always plays for mom bringing me familiarity from my childhood. My eyes close slowly as I rub my daughter's back, the sound of Dad speaking to Yara finally lulling me to sleep.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 7

Moms, Meltdowns, and Mayhem

Hello and welcome back to Fabian’s worst nightmare, already in progress!

We rejoin the Bad Kids who have linked back up the next day and are on their way to the library of the city Leviathan--The Compass Point Library. On the way there, they see the Crow’s Keep burning but Fabian, assuming it has to do with what happened to him, tells everyone to leave it alone.

Adaine questions why Riz hasn’t had any nightmares (Riz: In a way, my life is a nightmare) and the whole group goes into another round of Shadowcat speculation. Is she protecting Riz from nightmares for some reason? Why can Tracker and Garthy suddenly see her in the picture despite not having seen her irl or had any weird dreams? Is she masquerading as someone else? 

Anyway, they reach the library which is the cool, cobbled together and largely stolen (to Fig’s delight) pirate-y library of Alexandria type place. They meet an old pirate wizard named Rollins with a book of pirate spells that Fig immediately wants to steal and Adaine wants to borrow (or steal, she’s flexible). They all sign up for Compass Point library cards and go up to the observatory to look for Ayda Aguefort. 

In the observatory, they find a huge orange-yellow bird on a perch and this is the part of the recap where I have to inform you that Aguefort had not only banged a phoenix, he somehow managed to procreate with it. Meet Ayda Aguefort, the half-phoenix (shout-out to the anon from last week who called Ayda as Aguefort’s daughter). She’s got wings and arms, bird legs, a plume of red fiery hair, and eyes which are basically just fire.

Fig thinks she’s the creature Aguefort made for her for reasons I cannot begin to fathom. She tries to feed her but Ayda rejects the food, not wishing to be in anyone’s debt. Ayda is kind of intense, abrupt, and anti-social when they meet her. She’s fully is about to fly away instead of helping until Fabian yells that Garthy sent them and Adaine remembers she has the letter from Garthy asking her to help them. After some back and forth, she agrees to give Adaine the spell (which will take 6 hours to learn) for 150 gold. But these are the Bad Kids so, of course, we have several tangents before the plot goes anywhere, during which we learn Ayda is a divination wizard (like Adaine), she asks if her father has talked about her (Fig successfully lies that he has), and Gorgug spouts out some fortune cookie nonsense (“What is a telescope but a spyglass pointed at the stars?”) that convinces Ayda that he could be the greatest wizard of their age (Adaine does a spit take and Fig is loving it).   

Adaine hits the books to learn the sending spell with Sandra-Lynn keeping watch while everyone else splits up suchly:

Fabian wants to go out to check on the Hangman but Kristen absolutely vetoes that. Buddy. System. Ragh agrees to go with him and she lays off. He tries to see what the damage on the Hangman is. Nat 1. As far as Fabian can tell, the Hangman is full dead. Not only that, Fabian is poor people sick which he isn’t used to at all. Ragh isn’t doing much better on the emotional front. He just started making progress with processing his emotions and now his mom might be dead. Saddest Hoot Growl ever (seriously, it’s heartbreaking). Cathilda comes in, loving as ever, with food and kind words and an old lullaby, but that’s not enough to stop Fabian from rolling another Nat 1 and gaining 2 levels of exhaustion (which means disadvantage on ability checks and speed halved). Lou, please burn those dice. 

Kristen and Riz are researching the Nightmare King. They go into a religious studies section of the library and (on a 20+ check from Riz) find texts about a temple to a forgotten god in Sylvere (the forest of the Nightmare King). The god is never named in any of the texts which Kristen finds weird. Riz decides to steal the book and is able to do it, despite Kristen’s “help”. Later, Kristen cross-refs Riz’s info with her world religions book and, on a dirty 20, she finds with frustration that there’s a lot of information but none of it really matches up. The fairies, treants, and especially the unicorns all had mysterious deities but none of them really match with the forgotten god. [Note: Last time we heard about unicorns was in episode one and we learned that the last time people saw the great unicorn was the last time the NK showed up.] At the same time, it seems like there are elements of the god in all five of the cultures in the forest. Adaine checks and there’s nothing magic with the book so it’s just the contents of the book that are weird, not the book itself. Kristen thinks there might be a connection to her weird dream about not being able to draw the face of her god. Adaine wonders if Kristen might have been worshipping this unnamed god by mistake. Gorgug wonders if the god is erasing themselves (a theory backed up late when they talk to Aguefort).  

Fig looks for information on cursed gems and (with a 19) she finds a good amount--no surprise in a pirate library. She finds a book called Breaking the Evil Eye in one of the forbidden sections and learns that it could be possible to planeshift into the gem, dispel magic from the inside and get rid of the trap, before breaking the original curse. She finds all of this out after she steals the book (disguised as Rollins). Planeshift is a level 7 spell though so Adaine has a while to go before she can learn it (she gets her first at level 13). 

Gorgug asks the real Rollins for books about cheering up a friend. He’s brought to a small, dusty section of the library. Gorgug rolls a nat 1 on an insight check and thinks that Rollins must be messing with him. Rollins is confused because he super wasn’t. Adaine takes a break and uses this pointless argument borne from misunderstanding to steal his book. Dirty 20. Rollins instantly skelatizes. She hastily puts the book back. He comes back Wrong and in incredible pain. He begs them to take the book out and Gorgug does. Adaine peaces out to finish studying, leaving Gorgug to deal with her mess. Gorgug decides to keep looking at the friendship books. Even on a 5, he finds a secret door into a HUGE friendship library. Guided by his library card, Gorgug finds a book called Cheer Up Me Hearties. When he gets out, Gilear is being accosted for killing Rollins, but Gorgug is able to get them to stand down. Gorgug Thistlespring, winning pirate hearts and minds. They take the book and Rollins’ bones to get him put back together.   

Adaine finishes up as Ayda comes to check on her. Ayda is about to make another quick exit but Adaine tries again to make friends with Ayda, this time by directly asking and offering to let her hold Boggy. Ayda is immediately obsessed with Boggy (and Adaine’s backpack terrarium AND the backpack she makes for him at Ayda’s suggestion) and extremely impressed with Adaine’s spellwork in manifesting Boggy. It’s a very cute scene and Adaine has made a useful ally. Ayda can’t believe she met the two greatest wizards of the age in one day. Wild. 

Everyone regroups to call Aguefort now that Adaine knows Sending. He sends them back some more powerful magic so he can talk for longer than the 25 word response. Think of it as magic Skype. He very casually tells them that Ragh’s house is a smoking crater and his mom is super dead. He takes far too long to follow up with the information that, a long time ago, he hid Lydia’s real body under the school, made a clone of her, and used the Magic Jar spell to basically hook up her consciousness to the clone body (which held a fake demon shard). The clone body is what got destroyed. Lydia’s real body and consciousness are fine. Way to bury the lede dude! Upon being asked, Arthur says that he used to remember the name of the god of the unicorn but he forgot. Suspicious and troubling. He and Fig also renew discussions on the creature she ordered but never paid for. He says the cheapest option is a pentacorn for 30k gold (which sounds like a unicorn w/ 5 horns and pretty useless but I refuse to get dragged into this insanity, I am just the messenger here).

Aguefort leaves to deal with the situation at home. Meanwhile, Gorgug notices smoke again but he also notices that it’s on the wrong side to be related to what happened to Fabian. After giving Fabian and Ragh oranges to prevent scurvy--a tip from the pirate friendship book--he brings it up to Fabian who thinks it’s probably Captain Wicklaw making a power play and they should probably stay out of it. What? says Adaine. Nah, we should fight him. Yeah, says Fig. You deserve revenge! Fabian just wants to lay low so they can get their C+. Adaine is not here for that C+ and she’s not here for Fabian’s concerning attitude shift. None of the Bad Kids are. However, the cast is very here for absolutely roasting Lou for all of his choices by having their respective characters inadvertently reference every bad thing that happened last episode. When Adaine suggests that Fabian might be cursed, Fabian finally haltingly comes out with the entire story (which Lou has to laugh-cry himself through in one of the best scenes of the episode) and everyone interjects with comments that they (out of character) know will just make Fabian’s storytelling even more uncomfortable. It’s a very wild combination of very emotional (in game) but deeply funny (out of game). Like:

Ally (who knows good and well that Chungledown Bim told Fabian he was gonna shit in his mouth): Did Chungledown Bim help you?

Zac (who also knows good and well that Chungledown Bim told Fabian he was gonna shit in his mouth): Chungledown Bim probably saved you.

Murph (yet another person who knows good and well that ChungledownBim told Fabian he was gonna shit in his mouth) You know what we should do? We should go see Chungledown Bim.        

Amazing. 

Fabian finishes his recounting of the 20 car pile-up that was last episode by repeating his earlier opinion that they shouldn’t go after Captain Wicklaw because it will just end with all of them dead. Kristen tries to slap him back to normal and tells him to lose the Gilear energy. Led by Gorgug and Adaine, the gang tells Fabian that being Bill Secaster’s son isn’t the only worthwhile thing about him (in fact, it’s pretty annoying). He’s worthwhile all on his own. Tracker chimes in and says that she thinks Fabian might have some issues with depression so maybe their well intentioned efforts to get Fabian to buck up weren’t the best way to handle things. Adaine and Riz are skeptical that Fabian is like, capital D, Depressed but Tracker sticks by her read on the situation. The group eventually decides to at least check out what’s going on with the smoke but before they arrive, an interlude:

As they walk to Crow’s Keep, Cathilda walks with Fabian and Cathilda starts dropping information about herself and about how her own children died before Fabian was born and about how she sees him as a son--though she’s tried to keep the proper professional distance. She comforts Fabian on his bad day and then her eyes go full Terminator and she mentally buts Wicklaw on her “People I Need to Murder Today” list (more on this later).

When they arrive at the place where the smoke is coming from, they find that the Ramble (kind of a pirate meetinghouse/Courthouse) has been burned down. Jemina Joy is there and she lets them know that Wicklaw asked what was necessary to become the new pirate king. He was told that all he needed to do was get the crown from the former pirate king (because respect for/fear of Bill was the only thing keeping there from being a new king). He just burned down the Ramble to be a dick. Adaine damn near gets her ass beat by Jemina by arguing politics with her (her point being that she wants to install Jemina as Pirate Queen while Jemina is like, “I just keep this place from sinking. Lay off.”) but Riz, mindful of the fact that this is a time sensitive situation, takes off to Gibbety Square where the pirate king’s crown is (and where Wicklaw is headed).

They make it to Brennan’s latest battle mechanic: The Row and the Ruction.

This is the crazy, pirate bicameral legislative system. The Row is a huge fistfight (no weapons allowed--or really they are allowed but everyone will gang up on you if you use them) at ground level. It’s always in session and has been for 150-ish years. Above that, is the Ruction which is a fight with full weapon and magic usage alone. The idea is that you need enough support on the ground in the Row so you can use them to get up in the Ruction. It’s a king of the hill situation up there and if you can hold your position up there for long enough, you can make laws. Got all that? Good. 

They get there just barely after Wicklaw and his men who haven’t yet entered the Row. Wicklaw starts talking mad trash to Fabian but his friends back him up. They give him back his sword, his eye-patch, and Kristen hits him with a Warding Bond (which means that he gets +1 to AC and saving throws if he stays close to her plus resistance to all damage and, more importantly, she takes all the damage he takes). Fig gives everyone Countercharm. And, to top it off, Cathilda shows up with in an all black, super-badass pirate uniform to say she’s gonna feed him his own freaking brains! Let’s goooooooo!

But, Wicklaw has some new allies as well. Three elves bamf in from Falinel (same people who Kristen felt scrying on them earlier) and they’re there to bring Adaine back, and it doesn’t seem like they’re gonna just ask nicely.   

Detention

Adaine for Unnecessary Theft and (Accidentally) Killing a Man 

Adaine was kind of on one this episode. Not only did she inadvertently kill* a man while stealing from him, Adaine also ghosted at the first sign of trouble, leaving Gorgug and Gilear to catch all the flak for her attempt at pulling a Fig. Bad form, girl!

*She probably didn’t technically kill him but she turned him into a skeleton and he called the pain upon reconstitution worse than death so let’s not quibble about the details. 

Honor Roll

Cathilda for Being a Badass Mom 

Oh man, oh man, oh man. 

I’ve low-key been waiting for Cathilda to go full pirate since we learned that was an option and especially since Fabian got attacked because it was a pretty safe bet that was going to be her berserk button and boy did she deliver.

When did she have the time for a costume change? Is she that stealthy? Did she magic it on? Or did she just manifest the outfit on the power of her rage alone?

The scene where she says Wicklaw is gonna pay? Chills. Not only pledging to eat your enemy’s brains but also saying you’re going to feed him his own brains and describing exactly how you’ll serve it? So raw. 

But I also have to shout out the non-murderous mom stuff she did this ep. The little talk she gave Fabian about no one being defined by their worst day was very sweet and good advice out of game too. 

But honorable mention to Gorgug for being an absolute sweetheart all episode. Zac’s improv about pirates giving their friends oranges to prevent scurvy bodied me.  

Random Thoughts

Some very useful posts from @jamiebluewind: Character Descriptions, Location Descriptions, Transcripts of Cathilda’s speeches from this ep. 

During the initial discussion with Collins, we learn that the transmutation exchange rate is 50 Parrots=10 Bananas=1 Gold. How are bananas more complex than parrots?

Adaine: May we steal books?

Her later actions aside, I think it’s funny that Adaine’s first move is basically always to sweetly ask for what she wants and Fig’s first move is, “Gotta steal that book!” Adaine is like the most polite person in the group but also ready to fight 100% of the time. The role reversal in the Jemina scene where Fig was the one who asked an on point question and Adaine was the one who made it almost spiral into an actual fight was great.

I was just saying this re: Harry Potter in a different context but clearly marked but not blocked off forbidden sections of libraries are more a dare than a deterrent. 

Fig as a horned parrot (done by Rollins for trying to steal his book) is adorable. Please somebody draw that.

I love that when they see the bird that turns out to be Ayda and Murph is like, “I don’t think that’s a bird,” Zac is like, “Yeah, Gorgug doesn’t know that.” Zac (like Travis as Grog in CritRole) has a real talent for playing dumb while actually being really smart.

“My principal scammed me?”

Brennan truly did not have to follow through on Aguefort saying he slept with a bird. He really, really did not have to but he was like, “Nope! I said it so it’s happening! This is happening!” I really wish you guys could have seen my face as I realized in real time that the madman was actually doing that. 

Adaine to Fig who thinks Ayda is her creature: This is a full person.

“I like school.”/“You would.”

Lol at Fig trying to draw parallels between Ayda’s prickliness and her own behavior and getting absolutely shut down. “I think people think you’re really tender.” The running thing of Fig’s perception of herself as this standoffish loner being constantly reality checked by literally everyone she knows being like, “You tell us you love us literally every day,” is one of my favorite group dynamics. It’s even funnier because, besides probably Adaine and Fabian, the rest of the Bad Kids probably knew Fig (or at least had seen her around) before she started going through her emo phase. So they totally remember her in 8th grade wearing preppy clothes and carrying a unicorn backpack and listening to Fantasy Taylor Swift and all that.   

All ep they were calling Kalina a cat and I was thinking, “I feel like—in game—that’s gotta be offensive.” And then Aguefort straight said it. Wild for it to come from him since he’s the craziest person ever but I’m glad it came up.

“You seem simple to me.”/“Thank God.”

Aww at Ayda asking if Aguefort ever talks about her. Brennan, you gotta stop putting little emotional traps into otherwise funny scenes. I can only handle so much!

The gang did some experimentation with the photo in this ep with these results: Ayda and Aguefort both couldn’t see Kalina in the picture. They also took a picture of the picture but that picture had the same properties as the original picture. Weeping Angel rules I guess. 

There’s speculation in this episode about why Riz isn’t having nightmares. I have another question kinda on that topic. In episode 2/3, we see the lie/mirror/Baron thing that happened with Riz. And that was for sure super nightmarish. But it doesn’t match what happened to Adaine and Fabian. Both of them seem to have had more ephemeral experiences that quickly vanished. And they weren’t borne from lies so much as fears. Riz’s monster came from a direct lie and it didn’t seem to be a nightmare. It came out of the mirror and attacked not only him but his friends later. No one saw Fabian or Adaine’s nightmares besides them (although, that could just be because they got away). And no other lie-monsters have showed up as far as we know. I’m just wondering if there’s maybe something else going on or if it was a different NK follower who did that or just a different power of the same dude. Just something I wanted to note because it’s been bugging me a little and no one’s brought it up yet. 

Cool quirk of the sending spell Adaine learned: Because it was modified by pirates, curse words don’t count towards the 25 word limit. What I immediately thought (and what Aguefort actually ended up doing more or less) was that you could easily send very long messages with, say, Morse code. Just designate one curse as a dot, one as a dash, and one as a space, and you’re good to go. It’d be slow, but totally workable. 

Also, after watching Laura as Jester absolutely flying by the seat of her pants with every sending spell, it was wild to see the group take the time to carefully craft the perfect message. 

I said two recaps ago that I wouldn’t be surprised if Gorgug multiclassed into a casting class soon and boy do I hope this episode means he’s gonna do it for real. Adaine’s total disbelief at Ayda’s interest in Gorgug’s wizarding potential was sending me.

Oh also. Ayda has forbidden Gorgug from reading any wizarding books so he doesn’t lose is totally uncomplicated mind. I guess he’s supposed to learn everything the savant way? Imagine Adaine diligently studying her wizard books, trying to master some complicated spell and Gorgug is like, “I woke up and I guess I can use Mage Hand now? Neat.” Absolutely maddening. 

Besides Cathilda, Gorgug was the MVP in this episode. Dude has a knack for making friends that I think will eventually pay dividends. 

Also, speaking of, everything Brennan said during the secret shelf section was so good as to sound planned, however, how could you predict that that was a thing a player was going to ask to find? Brennan is just always 7 seconds of prep time away from giving an elaborate and super specifically themed speech about friendship I guess.  

Big ups to Kristen for not letting Fabian go off by himself again. Like, for the sake of the party of course but also the, “We almost lost you,” was sweet. She also helped buff him going into the coming fight with Warding Bond that means she takes all the damage he takes. I am SO glad they brought another healer with them because that’s such a risky move. Kristen is a LOT but she’s also very ride or die and all heart. I really love that the last time she used this spell it was on Gilear for a joke and now it’s getting used seriously. It’s a perfect establish existence of power to audience/bring back at plot relevant time setup. Improv storytelling is so inexplicably good. 

Technically, to cast Warding Bond, you’re supposed to have matching rings with the person you’re casting it on so imagine Kristen blinged out with a ring for each party member and each of them having a corresponding one in case she needs to cast it on them.  

Little bit concerned that Tracker still doesn’t know about Sandra-Lynn/Garthy. The longer it takes for her to find out, the higher the chance it blows up and becomes a Thing.

Fig: *Meandering philosophical question about why Ayda watches the stars*/Ayda: I study it so I can know where this big city is floating.

RIP to the Hangman. I don’t think he’s gone for good but it seems like he is for now. On my first watch, I thought that, on a 1, Fabian just fully thinks that the Hangman is gone but, the second time it seemed more like he’s just dead. Now, I’m not Brennan, but if I was in this situation, you know what I would do? I would have someone save the Hangman’s soul (or whatever he has instead of a soul) and store it in the Hangvan temporarily. Imagine how much he’d hate that. It’s full of potential for “roommate” shenanigans. 

Is there anything stopping them from just, ramming the Row with the Hangvan? Like, I know it’ll get them ganged up on, but will they be able to do much against a full van?

Also, if/when they hold the Ruction, I wonder what law they’re going to try and make. They didn’t really go in with a plan (understandable under the time pressure) so they’re really gonna have to improvise something on the fly. 

Also, I’m assuming Fabian stabbed the Hangman while he was asleep? I don’t think we were ever shown that scene, but Fabian must have been under some kind of compulsion since he woke up in the river (and the same happened to Ragh). 

Aguefort casually mentions that he has many children and this episode proves that Brennan can and will back up every single crazy thing that comes out of his mouth, so I’m excited to see if there is a single Aguefort out there that isn’t crazy.

Oh, also, the acknowledgement that occasionally that phoenix is a child is appreciated because that was def a question I was going to ask. Squicky to say the least but I guess that’s how phoenixes work so what are you gonna do?

Ally needing to roll a 10, rolling, being happy, checking Kristen’s modifier, and realizing it’s a negative 3 for a total of 9 is peak D&D.

Fig as Rollins: Look at how fast I can run!

I love Fig thinking Adaine could plausibly have 7 level spells. She’s like, idk bro. She’s the eleven oracle. She cares about school. She could know this too. Who knows? Certainly not Fig who thought she could buy wizard spells to use as a bard.

“Please speak more enthusiastically on my behalf.”

“It’s my brain guys.”

Fig mind controls Gilear into believing in himself and he fails his save. I wonder if this is could be valid therapy technique in this world. 

Aguefort mentions that a Wish spell can destroy a Magic Jar just fyi. That makes 3 pretty high level spells mentioned in this ep. Magic Jar is 6th level. Planeshift is 7th level. And Wish, basically the strongest spell in the game, is 9th level. We’re starting to deal with some serious magical mojo.

The whole thing with people in pictures that not everyone can see and memories that you know you once had but don’t anymore and information that should exist but doesn’t is hitting a very specific storytelling sweet spot for me. 

This is a little meta-gamey to be thinking about but I’m kinda wondering, why sideline Gorthalax? Obviously, it’s a good plot hook for Fig and that might be all it is. But I’m lowkey wondering is there something Gorthalax knows or can do that would solve the plot in 30 seconds if he was around? Like, was he roommates with the Nightmare King in hell or something?

Kristen finds it weird that the god’s name isn’t written anywhere but I’m sure that’s gotta be fairly common. Or at least not unheard of. Like, I know in Judaism you’re not supposed to do that. Anyway, watch the great unicorn be the Nightmare King just for the Nightmare/Night Mare pun.

Adaine being on brand no matter the situation: Everybody shut up I have to do my homework!

The, “Do you want a friend?”/“Desperately.” interaction killed me. 

“I don’t have any wizard friends.”/“I’m a wizard.”/(beat)/“I don’t have any wizard friends.”

Arthur cloned a woman, forgot to tell her, and then straight forgot. So business as usual from him. 

Fabian’s, “Nooooooo,” with the rising intonation every time someone made an assumption during his story and he had to correct him was amazing. Also, “He told me he was going to shit in my mouuuuwth.”

Ragh, Fig, and Adaine all crying about their parental issues at the same time. This has been, like, the longest week ever. I wonder if the 7 Maidens are unpacking this much trauma on their quest.

“Absolutely timbered.”

Lol at Brennan dropping the cool pirate sending spell “curses don’t count” detail and then being told from off camera that he needs to keep it PG-13. But then Cathilda needed to go beast mode so, like, what can you do?

Another cool worldbuilding detail is pirate clerics just keep shrines to every deity they’ve come into contact with to hedge their bets like Beni from The Mummy.

I know Lydia was attacked on orders from Kalina but I wonder if they knew about/had plans for the demon shard too. 

When Emily said she disguised herself as Rollins, I fully thought she was going to walk out the door the real Rollins was guarding and not go out the back door like she did. The idea of a back door didn’t even occur to me. I just thought we were in for some classic Axford insanity. 

Riz: You’ve gotta get better at talking to kids.

Riz: This is real Gilear energy.

Kristen: We brought one Gilear. We don’t wanna make that mistake twice.

Everything that happened with Fabian was really funny because there’s nothing I love more in D&D than players having a good time dunking on each other but, in game, Fabian is really going through it. Fabian low key has mom friend energy so to almost die and then for all of his friends to jump into the exact fight that almost killed him (including taunting the dude! Adaine!) against his advice must be giving him a level of anxiety and dread that I don’t even have the words to describe. Like, now is not the time for him to digging into that because things are life or death. Gotta save your life before you can fix it. But he def needs to at some point. Too bad Jawbone’s not around for a quick mid-battle therapy sesh like he had with Adaine during prom.   

Tracker suggested that Fabian might be depressed. I’m not an expert on depression. He could be depressed and, in any case, he definitely needs to see a therapist for a Lot of reasons. But having a breakdown because you saw 14 people die, almost died yourself, and were told that a man wanted to shit in your mouth less than 24 hours ago seems less like a sign of depression and more like the only rational human reaction.

Adaine calls the above, “a vaguely mediocre day”. Michael Scott Voice: Adaine you ignorant slut.

Also Adaine: You got that bike because you won it fair and square because we killed a lot of people.

This is the second time Adaine has said that Fabian’s lineage is actually the most annoying thing about him and these are the kind of tiny continuity details I live for.

Semi-relatedly, Fabian’s relationship with his parents v. Adaine’s relationship with hers is endlessly fascinating to me. Because they have such similar backgrounds but coming from, like, opposite directions of the same spectrum, you know? Can’t wait for those sweet, sweet parallels as we jump into her trauma! (What is D&D but group therapy interspaced with murder?)  

Speaking of Adaine’s trauma, it looks like we’ll be getting to it very soon as those FBI Falinel operatives have shown up to force her (and the plot) back to Falinel. This is Concerning to me for two reasons. First off, remember the Aelwyn fight from season 1? Remember how annoying that was? Now imagine that times three and also 2 separate pirate brawls are happening. That sounds like a Bad Time for our kids. They’ve leveled up some and they’ve been known to make some very clutch battle decisions, but this is gonna be tough any way you slice it. This is like two entirely separate encounters at the same time. A small good point: I looked up the language for teleportation and it can only be used to transport a willing creature. So they can’t just bum rush her and poof out. But they could give her an ultimatum to make her agree. The second reason this Concerns me is that Adaine high key doesn’t want to work with/for Falinel and they know this. The fact that they’ve resorted to kidnapping (fun international law fact: when a government kidnaps someone, it’s called rendition) tells me that they’re done playing nice which opens up two options to them they might not have otherwise used. They could coerce Adaine’s consent to be their oracle by threatening her life/her friends’ lives. Or, more troubling, they could just kill her. I mean, she became the elven oracle when the old one died, right? So, if she died, someone else would get the job. Probably someone less troublesome to deal with. I doubt they’re gonna go straight for that because they seem to want her alive, at least for now. But it is a concern. 

Of course, we’re assuming that what’s happening on the face of this is the whole story, but that’s not necessarily true. Iirc, all we heard was that they found the oracle and they were gonna bring her back to Falinel. For all we know, the elves could be working for Adaine’s mom. Of Adaine’s mom could be working with Falinel. Or she could be working with Falinel just as a way to get to her daughter. We really don’t know. The last person on this show that got kidnapped was Fabian and that was a friendly kidnapping. Anything is possible. 

Something that struck me as a possibility: This fight seems like it’s gonna suck. There is a world where the ideal move for Adaine is to pull an Evy (from the Mummy--two Mummy refs in one recap, did not plan that, I just love the Mummy) and agree to go with the Falinel elves if they help them instead (or at least stop helping Wicklaw) with the faith that her friends will come rescue her. I doubt they actually care much about what happens in the government of this pirate junk city. I’m curious about how they ended up together anyway. I’m guessing the elves clued into what was going on while scrying on the group and decided an alliance might be useful.

Brennan about both Ally’s Applebees Reference and Fig using a Leviathan phonebook: That is nothing.

Shoutout to Fruzzinoid in the chat who said Ally’s alignment is chaotic-chaotic. Accurate.

I love the laughing-squawk that Brennan does for Ayda as much as I hate the fact that he made the Choice to spell it that way.

Truly, the entire scene where Lou is recapping the fight from last episode and he’s laughing uncontrollably but Fabian is clearly crying and he’s expressing both of those things simultaneously is beautiful. 

A Fabian line that really hit but that I haven’t mentioned yet: “I probably have one follower running around. Never mind he’s my father’s just like everything else I have.” Ow. Such a deep cut but so off the cuff from Lou. As a writer, this show makes me so mad because that’s such a good line of dialogue that Lou just dropped out of his mouth like it was nothing. How dare he? 

Another good line I didn’t mention before, this tie from Riz: “We all draw strength from each other. You went in without your crew. What’s a pirate without his crew?” Ugh, Murph. Who gave you the right?

This episode has made me extremely curious about what Cathilda thinks about Hilariel. Because she sees herself as Fabian’s mom--which she essentially has been in a lot of the ways that count since Hilariel has been mentally out to lunch for the past however many years. To be clear, I do think Hilariel loves Fabian. She just hasn’t really been present even though she’s been literally present. The way Cathilda phrased some of the things she said and the way she seems to talk about Fabian’s dad so much more than his mom makes me wonder if she doesn’t...resent isn’t the right word exactly. Maybe, disapprove? It makes me wonder if she doesn’t disapprove of Hilariel’s parenting choices more than she lets on. 

Kristen’s, “Do you listen to music?” in the middle of actually useful questions for Ayda. 

Rich people sicknesses include having eaten too much caviar or smoked a cigar for too long in case you’re wondering.

“You want an orange, pal?”

On a practical note, we have two more episodes to go until the show breaks for the year so prepare yourselves from now people!

Riz, Adaine, and Gorgug each rolled one Nat 20 apiece. Fig, Gorgug, and Adaine each rolled a Nat 1 (but Adaine presumably cancelled out hers rolling with advantage because of Boggy). Fabian, who is still living his worst life, rolled three Nat 1s. Tragic.  

[kitkatwinchester]

Happy Fanfic Writer Friday (#FFWF)! Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

OMG THIS IS SUCH A GREAT ASK!!! 

Okay okay, because you basically gave me permission to ramble, this is gonna be so freaking long, but I’m doing it anyways, because I want to do every story that has it because I try to do stuff like this a ton, especially in multi-chapter stories!! 

Okay, I’m gonna focus on only AO3 stories this time, since those ones are the ones that really have a lot of this, and I’ll talk about them in order of most recently published/updated (though not all are included in this list because some are simpler than others lol). That said, spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t read these stories. 

AO3:

Who Knew Birthdays Could Be So Complicated

My favorite thing about this story is that it’s based entirely on poking fun at the fact that so many MCU villains are only villains because Tony made them mad somehow, because I think it’s hilarious and I’m proud of how I was able to poke fun at it while still properly representing the beautiful relationship between Tony and Peter and their individual characterizations. 

This has a very subtle incorporation of Spideychelle, because it takes place after Endgame, but assumes Far From Home never happened, so Peter and MJ aren’t really a thing yet, but you can kind of tell they’re going to be if you take notice of the way they react both around each other and about each other in this fic. 

There’s also a very subtle incorporation of Happy/May for the same reason--Far From Home hasn’t happened (yet), so their relationship is only just starting to come to pass. It’s referenced through Tony and Peter’s suspicious/surprised reactions when Happy suddenly wants to be with May all the time. 

I love the way I made time pass in this fic. At once point, I transition between scene using a watch, and throughout the fic, the passing of time and the number of minutes are constantly mentioned to serve as a sort of countdown as events transpire, and it’s subtle, but I feel like it really helps follow the passage of time and make it all even more realistic. 

It was hard to figure out how to express this, so I’m not sure how many people actually caught this, but I loved how I subtly showed that Bruce wound up finding a way to reverse what he did before Endgame and bring himself back to his normal self in order to help the city better. 

There’s a really subtle reference to Peter’s sensory overload when Perceptivo starts talking about how he was able to grab Peter in the first place. He never finishes his sentence, but the reader and Tony get a sense of what he’s getting at. 

Everytime I write in adorable Peter and Morgan moments, I get excited about it, and this fic is no different. That said, I love the way their relationship is portrayed, even if it is brief. 

Lastly, I love what I did with the chapter titles for this story. The titles match up, outside to in. The first and last chapter parallel each other as general titles (”The Unexpected Surprise” and “The Real Surprise”). The second and seventh title both reference a phrase said/implied in the chapter (”Forty-Three Minutes” and “Unconditional Love”). The third and sixth titles chapter titles that summarize the chapter, with the sixth one being a Star Wars reference, because of course ;) (”Lost Sleep, Long Night” and “It’s a Trap”). And lastly, the fourth and fifth chapters are lines quoted by the Peter and Tony in their respective POV chapters (”I Need to Handle This on My Own” and “Dammit Kid”). I worked hard on those, and I’m so proud of how they lined up. 

Always and Forever

I love love love how the sibling relationship between Peter, Harley, and Morgan develops in this one. I love that Harley and Morgan have an established relationship through video, but there’s still a sense of distance there, and I love how Peter and Morgan have a pre-determined relationship because of the stories Tony used to tell Morgan about Peter, but he doesn’t want to overstep, so it creates distance. I love Harley and Peter knowing about and already respecting each other and then being able to actually get to know each other for real and everything that comes with that. I just love how these three slowly get to know each other, but in a way, they already knew each other so well that they’re basically already family. It’s exactly what I was shooting for, and I’m glad that it seemed to come out that way for readers and for my own self-analysis. 

I am also particularly proud of Morgan’s voice in this story. Peter and Harley, both being teenagers, were a little more natural, but Morgan, as a four-year-old, took some tweaking to perfect, but in the end, I really felt like I could hear the four-year-old innocence and hope and love and I felt like it lined up so well with everything else in the story as she comes to terms with everything that happened and works through it in the only way she can--with help. 

Most of the references/callbacks in this one are super obvious, but there are a couple that are more subtle. There’s a small reference to that “you’re a mechanic, why don’t you just build something?” scene in IM3 where Harley gets Tony out of a panic attack, and to Harley’s dad leaving him. There’s also a reference to Peter’s uncle dying when he mentions that he’s “been through it before”. I also included a little bit of subtlety in reference to the fact that Pepper never actually changed her name to Stark, canonically, and added the emotional element of it in the epilogue. 

Each of the objects/memories that the three kids hold close has a lot of symbolism and intent behind them, and they fit in with the chapter titles. In “Every Picture Tells a Story”, Peter’s memories are in pictures because of the picture of him and Tony in Endgame that made Tony invent time travel (it totally made him invent time travel don’t even try to fight me on it). It represents that timeline of events where Tony really truly had a kid with him that he could love and cherish and who loved and cherished him back, but in a way that never needed words--just actions and photographs. In “Reminders of How it Used to Be”, Harley’s memories are in his phone through text messages, because he and Tony always connected technologically, even from a distance. They initially bonded over fixing the Iron Man suit, and the idea that Tony continued to upgrade Harley’s tech into his later years fits really well into their relationship. Even though they were far away, they learned how to express how much they cared for each other through words and objects. Lastly, in “No Hugs are as Warm as Yours” Morgan’s memories are in a recording of her Dad, because Morgan was the one that Tony truly got his time with--the one that was truly his to cherish and hold that he would never let go of. After Peter, and with Harley’s distance, Morgan was the one that Tony was determined to love with everything he had, and in doing this, he gave her a piece of him every day, and she could always hold him close to her heart and have him do all the special things with her that only he could do. The recording of him, that’s small enough to clutch to her, but big enough emotionally to represent everything her father did for her, and shows a tiny part of something that only her dad does--a lullaby her mom doesn’t sing, and a lullaby he’s never sung to anyone else--is a great representation of the piece of his soul that Tony gave to his daughter, just by being her dad. Maybe I tried to read too much into all of that, but I thought those subtle little representations were really crucial to this story. 

Another thing I love that I tried to break down is that everyone had a different name for Morgan. As the precious little one who just lost her dad, she’s kind of the center of this story, in a sense. Harley and Peter bond over helping her through her nightmare, and that brings the three of them closer. Morgan makes Peter and Harley smile in the dark times, and they do the same for her. Morgan had the most to lose from this, because Tony was, theoretically, the only one she had, but the message of the story winds up being that he wasn’t, because she has all of these other people in her family too. Because of that, there’s a nice subtlety that I had where everyone has a different nickname for her, because everyone contributes to her story and her life in a different way. Pepper’s nicknames/terms of endearment for her are sweetheart and little miss; however, “little miss” is one that Tony used to use, so Pepper only started using it after Tony died (so...in this story). Tony’s other nickname for her, canonically, is Morguna. Then, Peter’s nickname for her is Morgs, and Harley’s nickname for her is Mo. Most of those only really appear once, but it’s a cute little characterization thing that I worked hard to include. 

Lastly, another method of symbolism in the chapter titles is their lengths and, again, parallelism. I already talked about the second, third, and fourth chapter titles, all of which are a little shorter and represent the different object symbols for the kids and their connection to Tony, but I also added some symbolism and parallelism with the first and last chapter titles. Both of those titles, because those chapters have the perspectives of all three children, are longer and include parenthetical statements. Additionally, the first chapter title represents a lot more distance: “It’s Hard to Say Goodbye (To What You Want Forever”. This ties in not only to the fact that Tony’s gone, but also to the fact that, in the first chapter, while all three kids’ perspectives are included, they’re separate and apart. But then the last chapter title, “I Can’t Solve All Your Problems (But I Promise You Won’t Face Them Alone), represents togetherness, which is exactly how that chapter winds up playing out--all three perspsecitves collide, and they wind up helping each other through the grief. Symbolic titles are always fun.

To An Amazing Big Brother

This one is filled with subtle references. Sam leaves ScoobyDoo on for Dean, referenced as a favorite of his several times canonically. Sam also mentions how Dean checks under the bed every night, which was supposed to connect to the scene where Sam tells Dean that his dad said the monsters under the bed weren’t real and Dean told him it’s because he already checked there. Dean’s grumpiness over the lack of bacon is based off of two scenes: the one where Dean’s mad that Sam won’t let him get bacon, and the one where Sam’s mad that Dean won’t buy veggie bacon. The fact that Dean keeps the journal close for the next twenty-eight years is a reference to that photo of Mary that he’s had since he was a kid that he brings with them everywhere. Dean mentioning that Sam had grown up so much in three years is supposed to reference the many times in the show that Dean mentions that he wished Sam could’ve been a kid longer. The candy bars and the Hot Wheel car as his birthday gifts represent how Sam gives him “fuel” for Dean and Baby as gifts in the Christmas episode, and the fact that Sam mentions that Uncle Bobby helped him with it is a reference to Bobby giving Sam the Samulet to give to John in the Christmas episode, which he eventually gives to Dean. Lastly, the birthday pie represents the many, many times Dean says he loves pie. So I guess that all ties into symbolism, references, and callbacks/clues for future scenes, but in any case, there are a lot of them. 

The other thing that comes into this is the symbolism of the photo album. The fact that it’s something Bobby put together shows how Bobby was always a true father for them (at least, in my opinion, but, I mean, come on, he was), and the fact that it takes place over several years and very rarely actually has Bobby in the photo just represents how much he got to watch them grow and how much he was there for them. On top of that, it represents Sam and Dean’s brotherly relationship for two reasons: first of all, it shows how they grew up together and basically never left each other’s side; second of all, the message Sam writes, “Thanks for always being there for me. I know I can always count on you.”, is a huge representation of everything Supernatural is and stands for when it comes to Sam and Dean’s relationship--they can always count on each other, no matter what. 

The Meaning of Christmas

There isn’t really that much in this one, but I did want to mention that I put a lot of research into making the locations as realistic as possible, so Ellen’s Stardust Diner and 7th Avenue are both real streets in NY popular for Christmas shows and Christmas lights, respectively. I don’t live in NY, so I don’t know how accurate any of that was, but I tried my best, and I feel like it worked. 

Training Session

This one doesn’t have anything too deep overall, but it does include a couple of Endgame references and one from Ant-Man. Morgan and Nat’s training with practicing punching was meant to loosely reference the Ant-Man training session between Hope and Scott--with the failed attempt, but slowly getting better. Harley and Clint training--with Clint adjusting Harley’s footing, Harley making it dead center, and Clint high-fiving him--were all references to Clint and his daughter shooting arrows in Endgame. Lastly, while this is pretty obviously an Endgame reference, Morgan does say “I (still) love you 3000”, and Tony says it back, so there is that. XD 

Wow! This was honestly kind of hard to break down, but also really fun! I’ve definitely gotten better at symbolism and references in recent months--most of these were a lot more recent, especially the ones with loads of commentary XD--but in general, I think my character development in pretty good, and I still try to incorporate as many things as I can, subtle or otherwise.

I hope this answered your question, and I’m sorry it’s so long, but this was really fun! Thank you so much for asking! <3

[lazella]

Mermay 2020 Day 11: The Gift

Fall was descending over Ireland’s rocky shores. Fishing was finally winding down allowing Ronan and Maury to spend more time around the house. For Ronan, he was counting down the days to his birthday. From what Ida understood, it was a day where they celebrated the day Ronan was born into this world. A concept foreign to merfolk as they had no such celebrations which shocked the human family when she shared this fact. Part of this celebration involved gift giving which left Ida rather stumped, what could she give Ronan.

“Don’t feel so troubled…” Emily said during their weekly knitting lessons, “Men are so hard to find gifts for. You think with me knowing my husband so well it would be easy for me but trust me my dear…it gets harder.”

“Why?” Ida asked confused by the implication.

“Well…” Emily tapped her chin in thought, “My husband uses whatever I get him, and it lasts him a long time so the list of things he needs or wants gets smaller.”

“What happens if you run out of things?” Ida asked next.

“That’s the unique things about gifts, they don’t have to be objects.” Emily smiled, “Sometimes the best gift is just spending time with the person to show how much you appreciate them.”

Ida thought over what Emily shared; gifts don’t have to be physical objects? How was that even possible.

“I can tell that you are heavily thinking about this…” Emily said, noticing Ida’s expression, “I suppose that you are trying to figure out what to do for Ronan’s birthday?”

“Yes…I truly have no idea what to do….” Ida sighed, “He seems to have everything he needs, and I still don’t know a lot about human culture to go searching for a gift on my own.”

“How about something from your culture then?”

Ida’s head snapped up at Emily’s suggestion, “Pardon?”

“Ronan has shared so much about our lives here on land, but I don’t think he knows a lot about your culture….” Emily gave a gentle smile, “Maybe your gift to him is to share your culture.”

The suggestion weighed heavily on Ida’s mind for the next week. Share more of her culture with Ronan? She ran away from that culture for a reason! There was nothing she could think of that could match the wonders he showed her.

“You could give him shells!” The sprites had started given their suggestions during one of their visits.

“He sees shells all the time…there’s nothing special about them…” Ida sighed.

“What about fish?”

“He’s a fisherman.”

“Pretty rocks?”

Ida groaned into her pillow, “You are really not helping.”

“Well we usually aren’t the ones giving the gifts…” The green sprite pouted, “We don’t even know what humans find special.”

“Human women seem to like jewels and fine fabrics, but human men seem to have few things they value….” Ida sunk into her pillow, “The only thing I’ve seen Ronan treasure is his guitar.”

“What’s a guitar?” The blue sprite asked.

“It’s a human instrument that makes music.”

“Music…music…I KNOW!” The blue sprite whispered something into Ida’s ear-fin.

“Are you crazy!” Ida sat up, “That’s all the way back…home….” She shuddered at the thought.

“We could get it for you.” The red sprite smirked.

Ida gave them a flat look, “You three…getting that thing all the way across the ocean without being seen?”

“Have some faith in us!” The green one puffed up with pride, “We’ll take care of it with no one the wiser.”

“We’ll be back!” The three sprites left through the window leaving Ida very worried. Though those fears were unwarranted as the very next night the sprites returned with their prize. Ida couldn’t thank them enough and gave them extra strawberries. She asked for the thing called ‘wrapping paper’ from Coral to wrap her present disguising its form and waited for the day of Ronan’s celebration.

The house was lively, full of those who were aware of Ida’s secret, drinking and being merry. Ida hung back against the wall for most of it, not used to this level of revelry. She was just waiting for a calm moment to pull Ronan to the side to give her gift. Though that was proving to be difficult, especially when someone put on some rather fast music and the party goers attempted some sort of dance. It ended with the dancers in a pile on the floor, Ronan included.

Deciding that this party scene wasn’t for her, Ida prepared to wheel herself off to her room and wait for later in the evening. But the one thing about a mermaid in a wheelchair, she was still very hard to miss.

“Hey Ida! Where you’re going?!” A party goer called out to her.

“Not used to the noise?” Someone else asked.

“Come join us! You’ll be partying in no time!”

“Now now boys….” Emily had come to Ida’s rescue, “You know us ladies need a break from the testosterone from time to time…Let’s head to the back porch dear…” She rolled Ida out of the chaos and into the cool night.

“Thank you Emily…” Ida sighed in relief.

“Still feeling troubled?” The older woman asked.

Ida nodded, “I want to give Ronan his gift but….I just can’t seem to find the time.”

Emily got her serious mom face on and straightened her back, “Give my five minutes dear and I’ll take care of that problem…should I move you to the bench first?”

Ida looked at the bench Emily referred to, “Yes please, I think it will be great.”

Emily quickly transferred her over and disappeared back into the house. Ida fiddled with her hands as she waited, nervous about the upcoming moment. She really hoped that she could do this tradition of gift giving right.

Ronan emerged from the house a few minutes later, “Hey Ida…sorry if the party is a little much for you…”

“It’s alright…” Ida barely managed to say without a stutter, “I’ve never seen a celebration like that before.”

“Us Irish can get a little insane when it comes to celebrations….” Ronan sat down next to Ida, “It’s a time we can spend with friends and family and just live life…”

“It was nothing like that back home for me…” Ida admitted, “If we did celebrate anything, it was with a much more serious atmosphere with strict rituals.”

“Honestly…. that sounds…sad.” Ronan said.

“You would be right…” Ida gripped the present a little tighter, “It felt wrong to enjoy ourselves…I wasn’t happy. It’s one of the reasons why……why I ran away.”

Ronan stared at her in shock, “You ran away?”

“I just couldn’t take it anymore…I couldn’t feel free in the water….” Ida blinked back a few tears, “It was like I was always living for someone else’s desires and mine were never considered. I had no control over my life, and I was sick of it! I just wanted to decide for myself, is that so hard?!”

Ronan threw his arms around Ida, “No it’s not…you have every right to take charge of yourself. I’m sorry that you had to run away like that to get control over your own life.”

Ida cried into Ronan’s shoulder, letting her built up emotions drain out. Eventually she calmed down and wiped her tears, “Sorry…”

“Don’t be…” Ronan squeezed her hand, “Sometimes we just need to let it out.”

Ida nodded and decided to take her chance to seize the moment, “I have a gift for you…for your birthday.” She said as she handed him the package.

“You do?” Ronan seemed really surprised, “You really didn’t have too…”

“You’ve done so much for me and it’s only fair that I at least do something for you in return…” Ida said while trying not to blush.

Ronan took the package and began carefully removing the paper. Ida watched as he slowly revealed the gift within. Starting with the carved rock and coral, to the carefully spun strings. At last shining in the moonlight, was Ida’s old lyre.

“Is this…” Ronan carefully picked up the instrument, “Is this….”

“The lyre I made a long time ago…” Ida played with her hair, “Music in many forms is important to us so we all learn how to craft at least one type of instrument.”

“You made this yourself?” Ronan stared at her in disbelief as she nodded in confirmation, “Ida…. thank you. Honestly thank you! This is an amazing gift!” His smile was the biggest Ida has ever seen, “Again thank you!” Then he kissed her on the cheek.

They both froze for a moment as they processed what just happened.

“Sorry…” Ronan covered his mouth in embarrassment, “I don’t know what came over me.”

Ida carefully felt the cheek Ronan had kissed; the sensation has made her stomach flip flop in a good way. It was at that moment, she liked the fact that Ronan had kissed her and hoped he would do it again.

“I didn’t mind….” Ida said to reassure Ronan, “How about I teach you how to play?”

Ronan nodded like an excited child, “Please!”

As the sounds of drunken revelry echoed from inside the house, the delicate sounds of lullabies and love songs echoed in the cool air that represented an ever growing bond.

[bolddeducktionneverfails]

Launchpad’s Association With Della Duck: Okay, Now What?

Part 1 | Part 2 || Part 3 | Part 4| Part 5 || Part 6 | Part 7 | 

Continued from Part 8

Despite everything I’ve collected in the past three posts, there’s a part of me that’s still a little skeptical of what we can expect. 

There are nine episodes left of Season 2. Three groups of three is so much yet feels like so little. We’ve got Scrooge's bet with Glomgold, Louie's business with Goldie helping out, possibly another DWD episode, possibly something else staring Team Magic, Magica’s return, Della adjusting to motherhood, Webby supposedly joining the Junior Woodchucks according to the PhatMojo display, the upcoming Moonlander invasion...There’s a lot going on. Is there room for Launchpad to have a sudden identity crisis? If Launchpad truly is the father, it shouldn't take too long for Della to realize, right? 

Hm, then again, perhaps it’s not as much as it seems. I'm looking at these elements separately, so, maybe some of them will end up tying in with each other in time for the season’s end while others are just being set-up so they can be elaborated on in the next season.

With Della taking over a majority of the plane duties now and Drake becoming a real hero, it’s inevitable that Launchpad will end up as his sidekick. But like I’ve said before, LP can’t leave. Dad or not, he’s considered family so why should Della moving back in suddenly change this? They didn’t run out of space for him in the mansion (or wherever that garage is supposed to be) and Scrooge still needs a chauffeur driver. It would be disappointing to find out that Launchpad was nothing but a placeholder in the show he originated from. With DWD integrating itself into DuckTales as a story element, it would be more fitting for LP to go on adventures with Drake more so on occasion instead of for now on. If we get a Darkwing reboot of some sort, maybe it’ll take place whenever LP isn’t around on DT. Maybe the family can join him at times too. Since Dewey’s been joining Launchpad in every DWD related episode so far, maybe he’ll tag along the most.

Another reason why Launchpad shouldn’t leave is that he and Della would work well as a co-pilot team. A number of us have noticed that LP’s flying is smoother than his landings while Della’s landings are smoother than her flight. They can use their strengths to help each other with their weaknesses, but in order for this to happen, Della will have to change her mindset. She currently sees Launchpad as another obstacle she needs to overcome (and well, nothing can stop Della Duck) but once it’s made clear that he was never meant to replace her, she can let her guard down and allow the opportunity for them to be friends. 

I’m reminded a bit of Della’s quote towards Penumbra in “Whatever Happened”.

“Listen, we both know how this goes: First we hate each other, then we go on a life changing adventure, then BOOM! Best friends!”

I feel like a life changing adventure will help to break the ice between the aviators. Maybe they’ll have to work together to save the kids or there could be something regarding Dewey specifically. He loves hanging out with both of the characters, so maybe he’ll end up bringing them together. The rival pattern seems to always have someone stuck in the middle: 

    Zan Owlson with Scrooge & Glomgold, 

    Webby with Lena & Violet, 

And Launchpad with Drake & Jim.

Maybe this would be too early, but perhaps this is where the “Gander-Depths” pattern could come in. Both of these episodes were split between meeting up with a Duck Cousin and Launchpad going on an adventure with an ex. In “Gander” most of the action was in the cousin portion with LP’s part was extremely indescriptive. In “Depths” the cousin portion was less intense in comparison to “Gander” while LP’s portion was more descriptive and he almost joined the adventure. This seems to imply that the action will shift to Launchpad’s side, where he goes on a space related adventure with someone he’s previously dated, to meet up with a Duck Cousin. Seeing how we’ve gotten one “Gander” styled episode per season, this seems more suited for the premiere of Season 3. There’s also a possibility that this could be worked into the Season 2 finale since the production code order gets higher on the season list and the mid-season trailer already implies the invasion will happen within the remaining episodes, but I think Launchpad and Della might already establish a bond before the show reaches either point.

When it comes to Della’s possible realization, a lot of interesting things could happen in the process. If Launchpad’s clone really was a reference to Della, I believe this will be emphasized the longer they interact. Maybe LP starts reiterating things from her even though he wasn’t present during the time she said them. Webby still needs someone to teach her how to fly; what if LP volunteers and his teachings involve the “feel the sky” quote Della said in “Doomsday”? Could it have stemmed from Della helping him with his piloting skills in the past? What if he retells some sorta disoriented version of the Gilded Man story? It seems to be Della’s favorite story to tell since she told the Moonlanders about it too; she could have told it to the father. Or maybe he’ll do the face stroking gesture Della did to her boys in “Nothing Can”.

Launchpad has yet to say Della’s name and we’ve never seen his immediate reaction when her name is said. What if this is being held off for a special moment? Maybe he continually keeps getting Della’s name wrong by calling her a bunch of other “D” names, including something over the top like “Ms. Dewey’s Mom”, but when he regains his memory somehow, he’s able to say it without any problems?

The mentions of both Fenton’s and Mark’s fathers in “Chemistry” made me wonder if Della might have any of the father’s belongings. What if Launchpad catches a glimpse of these items or maybe the father’s photograph and feels compelled to do things he wouldn’t normally do? If the family finds out about the invasion and they begin to blame Della for the situation, will Launchpad start to get stressed out like he was in “Shadow War”?

I’ve been theorizing that LP knows Della's Lullaby in some way. Towards the beginning of "Whatever Happened", Della was about to talk about how there was a song she used to sing to someone, but she's interrupted when the moon mite attacks. I was beginning to think that maybe I was too quick to believe this, but during my last viewing I studied her body language before she was attacked: Della keeps a steady gaze as she’s talking to her kids and only breaks it when there’s uncertainty about what she’s saying. 

When she starts talking about the song, her brow becomes a bit furrowed as she looks up into...well, space, with the palm of her hand upturned.

It feels odd for her to pose like this if she was only referring to the boys. The lullaby could have started off as a special song between the couple that she later modified for her kids. This would give even more weight to the significance of the song. Something subtle that could support this is how the family sang “The Twelve Days of Christmas” before Della's solo episode. Right after the song, a piano version of Della's Mystery Theme was being played during her scene when LP was previously shown playing the piano.

Dᴇʟʟᴀ's sᴇᴛ-ᴜᴘ sᴇᴇᴍs ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏsᴇʟʏ ʀᴇsᴇᴍʙʟᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴀɴᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛs ʟɪᴅ ᴜᴘ. Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴀʟsᴏ ᴀ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴏғ ғɪʀᴇ ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴛ: Lᴀᴜɴᴄʜᴘᴀᴅ ʜᴀs ᴄᴀɴᴅʟᴇs ᴏɴ ʜɪs sᴡᴇᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ Dᴇʟʟᴀ ᴜsᴇs ᴀ ᴛᴏʀᴄʜ.

Something else that could support Launchpad knowing the lullaby was how he was interrupted towards the end of “Depths”. Oceanika likes to sing, so was Launchpad going to say “Farewell, sweet, Oceanika. Whenever I put a conch shell to my ear, I won’t hear the ocean I’ll hear your song.”? If he knows anything about the lullaby, Della might use it to help him regain his memory. Interestingly enough, a couple of instances like this has already happened: Jim used the Darkwing Duck theme song to help the security guard to remember who he was while Launchpad snuck his way into the studio. In “Depths”, Huey tested Fethry’s claim about Mitzi by singing the Blue Krill song. Something else that can match this is how Violet and Webby were humming to help bring Lena back.

Eᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ Lᴀᴜɴᴄʜᴘᴀᴅ ɪs ʙᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀɪɴɢ ʟʏʀɪᴄs, ʜᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ᴛʜᴇ Dᴀʀᴋᴡɪɴɢ Tʜᴇᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇғᴇʀᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɪᴛ ɪɴ ʜɪs sᴘᴇᴇᴄʜ. Wʜᴀᴛ ɪғ ʜᴇ ʜᴀs ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴏғ ᴅɪᴀʟᴏɢᴜᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʜᴇ sᴜʙᴛʟʏ ʀᴇғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴜʟʟᴀʙʏ?

If Launchpad is the father and Della went after him with the Spear, we can definitely expect Donald to clash with them when he returns; Launchpad more so than Della. Their absence caused so many hardships for the family and his sister got injured. When all three of them become present, there's a good chance that their parenting styles will differ from his and cause conflicts. Donald may even feel that his role as a caretaker is being threatened. Eventually, I think Donald will learn to get past his bitter feelings and realize that the three of them are important to equation: They’re family. Things may have turned out badly with the Spear, but it's not too late for them to work together to better the situation. LP owes Donald so much and would appreciate him for stepping in to raise the boys. Perhaps both of the pilots could turn to him for parental advice.

Hᴜᴇʏ ᴛᴇɴᴅs ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴀsʜ ᴡɪᴛʜ Lᴀᴜɴᴄʜᴘᴀᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇʏ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛ, sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴇsᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀᴄᴄᴇᴘᴛɪɴɢ LP ᴀs ʜɪs ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ. Hᴜᴇʏ ғᴇᴇʟs ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴏɴɢᴇsᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ Dᴏɴᴀʟᴅ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ʜɪs ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ.

On its own, I like the idea of Della and LP just becoming friends or LP becoming HDL’s step-dad but these things completely ignore the burning questions we’ve been wanting to know about HDL’s biological father. He’s always been a bigger mystery than Della; she had a good amount of solid information to work with before the reboot came about. The father is almost a clean slate. We’re a season and sixteen episodes in and yet no one has bothered to talk about him. If it’s just “he’s dead” or “he’s a deadbeat” and nothing more, why is this still lingering around instead of getting addressed to finally get it out of the way? It would be underwhelming to wait this long for a mention that goes nowhere, so there must be quite a story to tell with him. If the father is alive and completely separate from Launchpad, it’s hard to imagine him being added to the cast when it’s pretty full already. And since he also missed out on ten years of parenthood, it would be odd to have him as a reoccuring or minor character if he’s meant to make up for lost time with his kids.

As I’ve noted in a previous post, Scrooge was keeping her likeness under lock and key when Della went missing and went to great lengths to do this. After a piece of junk mail with her name on it was delivered to the mansion, he bought the post office and caused the mailman that delivered it, to never be seen again. The painting of Scrooge and the Duck Twins fighting with Captain Peghook’s crew was taken down and placed in the garage. A corner of the painting was ripped and covered Della up. When Scrooge went to look at his scuba diving gear in “Woo-oo!”, a newspaper lying on the floor with a front page article covering Della’s disappearance had a big chunk missing from it. Scrooge hid Della’s belongings in a secret room in the Money Bin's archives and possibly gave orders to Quackfaster to make it difficult for anyone to access it. In the same episode, Webby mentions that even Della's records are gone!

Launchpad just met her and yet he's been wearing an outfit reminiscent of hers this whole time. It was his own choice to wear a separate outfit for piloting. Even if he's heard of Della, that isn’t enough to explain why he’s wearing a green shirt like hers when she keeps it concealed at all times. That’s probably the most glaring thing in all of this: If some random guy is emulating her outfit, then how did he correctly guess the color of her shirt?

The first time Della's shirt was ever exposed to us was during her time on the Moon. In "Whatever Happened", her buttons are missing; giving an explanation to why she wasn't able to button up her jacket. In "Golden Spear", her buttons are back but she never uses them. It's possible that there could have been a designing error somewhere in this, but it's highly possible that her shirt was exposed for us to make a connection between her and Launchpad.

Dᴇʟʟᴀ sʜɪʀᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴏғғ ᴀs ɢʀᴇᴇɴ; ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴋʏ ʙʟᴜᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ sʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ɪɴ "Lᴀsᴛ Cʜʀɪsᴛᴍᴀs!"

If Scrooge was hiding everything Della-related and if Launchpad didn’t know who Della was, how did he know that Scrooge had a plane? Or even where it was being kept? Scrooge wouldn’t keep the Sunchaser out in the open, it would have been somewhere in storage or carefully hidden. Judging by Scrooge’s reminder about LP’s salary, the first episode was basically his first day on the job. He wasn’t hanging around the premises that long. Was LP snooping around long enough for him to find it? Or was he recalling prior information before the Spear incident? I suppose it could be argued that Webby could have known where it was since she already knows so much about Scrooge and his belongings, but her fruitless search on Della before Dewey came along, makes this a bit hard to believe.

Of course, I could be wrong about certain things, but there’s a little too much potential here to brush off. The romantic element of the show has been increasing as well as the concepts of reunions after long absences, finding out someone else has an unexpected connection to your past, electrical manipulation and genetic mutation. Even when I do mislead myself, it helps me to catch on to things that might be worthy of attention. Then when the show challenges the explanations I come up with, I can look back at these notable instances and try to figure out alternative reasons that might be closer to the truth. Wherever this cargo plane is headed, it’s leading up to something special happening.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! It means a lot to me. I glad you enjoyed my rambling as I try to figure things out.

TL;DR: These last nine episodes are gonna be nuts.

Oh, and stop sleeping on Launchpad. He’s important.

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

BTS Members as the Sons of Feanor

OH MY GOSH WHAT THE HECK

so @thelonelybrilliance just showed up late to the Silmarillion and new to BTS and she decided to break my brain by tagging me and @abadpoetwithdreams asking us if we could match up the 7 members of BTS with the 7 sons of Feanor. May she never ask such a question again because I have spent about 6 hours total writing this rant essay that is somewhere of abouts 3500 words. I don’t have the self-control to stop myself from things like this, I love Tolkien and BTS too much

anyway here is a very long and rambling post that was partially composed in my head in the shower and is now just stream of consciousness

(Disclaimer: The members of BTS are beautiful souls and this post is in no way saying that they are as murderous as my problematic faves the sons of Feanor)

ok so the only thing I know for ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN is that Namjoon is Maedhros. if you know anything at all about BTS and the Feanorians, the reasons are obvious:

1. Namjoon is the tallest, and Maedhros is literally called Maedhros the Tall.

2. Maedhros has a lot of names but he was called Maitimo by his mom which means “beautiful” or “well-shaped one” and such an appellation is perfect for Namjoon (ok let’s be real the name could fit every single member of BTS but whatever)

3. (and most important!) never was there a more harried elf trying to keep his brothers in line and alive and not cut to pieces by some justifiably insulted cousin or Sindarin. Maedhros is the mom, the dad, the king, the leader, the eldest bro. “Guys, can we NOT be rude to the sons of Finarfin, can we NOT start a war among the Noldor when we still have Morgoth just across the way” I’m pretty sure he would also lose his passport multiple times if Middle-earth had such things, because his brothers are hard enough to keep track of. while Namjoon may not be the eldest in years, everything else matches up too perfectly. He is the leader of BTS, the spokesman, the one who encourages the other members to step up and speak, helps them with their English (even when he judges them for their dumb mistakes lol), is literally SO DONE with his bros all the time but loves them so freaking much. He is the planner, the peace-maker, yet also has fire in his veins and has seen a lot of darkness and suffering and survived to become even stronger. So too with Namjoon

(caveat: if BTS were Feanorians, and Namjoon captured by Morgoth himself, there is no freaking way they wouldn’t have done SOMETHING to rescue their fearless leader. Jin and Jungkook would storm Thangorodrim fists swinging, followed by Jimin and J-Hope, fierce like you’ve never seen them, and Taehyung would Luthien Tinuviel Morgoth centuries early, or Yoongi would simply glare at Morgoth till he shrank down into a puddle of trembling goo. Don’t laugh at me you know I’m right)

moving on

I have maybe two choices for Maglor? One is Jin, but that might partially be because everyone always talks about how Namjoon and Jin are the mom and dad or dad and mom of BTS. and Maglor is always paired in my head with Maedhros as the other parental figure of the Feanorian bros, though that might be because of how he and Maedhros look after Elrond and Elros. Of course, I love Jin’s singing and I will never ever ever be over “Epiphany”, so I am way cool with making Jin Maglor as far as the music thing goes

All this said, I am not sure if this is the best fit overall. Jin is the King of Chaos in BTS, and I wouldn’t name Maglor as such...also I think I might have another Feanorian for Jin, but I’ll get to that later (spoilers, it’s...Curufin??!) (oh no, I just realized I might have one other argument for Jin being Maglor: “I use other people to make myself happy. I make myself smile by making others smile.” Like, that could be a good quote for Maglor potentially, if you want to relate it to his music, or his care for Elrond and Elros……..but I’m still thinking Curufin for Jin. Stay tuned)

So anyway my other option for Maglor would be...oh heck no I have two other options. No wait THREE. What the HECK. ok let me figure this out. The options are J-Hope, Yoongi, and Jimin. I’m not even sure why yet so let’s find out. (sidenote: if Maedhros did not exist Namjoon the song-writer would be Maglor, as the greatest poet and bard)

1.  J-Hope as Maglor: I don’t know, I had reasons but they are escaping me. Maglor is said to have had a gentler temperament than his brothers and I would say J-Hope has a very soft sunshine heart. I guess one thing is that Maglor was left to hold everybody together when Maedhros was captured by Morgoth, and if Namjoon was ever hung on a cliff for an indeterminate amount of time or whatever equals that in our world, J-Hope would step up. I keep seeing things about how he supports the other members when they are having tough times, giving them encouragement and food and love. He leads them in practicing dance choreography all the time, and if I remember I am pretty sure Namjoon actually stated that Hoseok would make a good group leader. 

Also one time Namjoon was talking about Hobi (oh shoot, should J-Hope of the many names be Maedhros of the many names? Lol maybe in that one universe where Namjoon is Maglor, then Hobi could could be Maedhros) Namjoon says that J-Hope is like water (where did Maglor toss his Silmaril again hmm?) and puts people at ease. Well idk about other people but Maglor seems to have put Elrond and Elros at ease because even after that whole Kinslaying thing “love grew between them as little might be thought.” I too would probably come to love J-Hope no matter the past between us. He is just that sweet and soft-hearted

2.  Yoongi as Maglor: ok honestly I really really actually want Yoongi for Caranthir, more on that later. However I also like Yoongi as Maglor because it is unexpected, yet certain things just feel right. I keep thinking about Yoongi’s “First Love” where he raps about how his PIANO was his first love (GOSH ISN’T THAT THE SWEETEST THING EVER) also in Lee Sora’s “Song Request” he raps this: “I’m happiness to someone and the soul to another / A lullaby to someone and at times a noise / I’ll be with you at your birth and your end / Remember we’re always together anywhere / I’ll always console your life / So just lean on me and rest sometimes” and LOOK I JUST DIED TYPING THIS but what I am getting at is music is burnt into Yoongi’s soul as I think it is Maglor’s, and Yoongi really is very soft and loving and also one time Namjoon said that Yoongi “makes me ponder about what kind of person I am” and Maglor several times is a voice of reason and very much tries to dissuade Maedhros from going after the Silmarils one last time. Idk it could work (but also...CARANTHIR) (BUT ALSO OMG YOONGI’S VOICE MURDERS ME WHEN HE RAPS AND HIS PASSION WOW AND NOW I AM PICTURING MODERN DAY MAGLOR RAPPING  OBLIQUELY ABOUT HIS FAMILY AND PAST AND PAIN UGGGGGGGHHHH

3.  Who was my other choice? Right, Jimin. Why did I say Jimin?? ? i don’t remember, dang it

Ok I think it is definitely time to do Caranthir.

As previously stated, I love Yoongi as Caranthir. I have my reasons personally I think they are very good reasons :D Ok Caranthir is WOW ok I am OFFENDED because I just went to double-check something on wikipedia and I typed Caranthir into the Google search engine and the first three results were all about this Caranthir dude from the Witcher, and while that game seems very interesting I am UPSET for Yoongi’s I mean Caranthir the Dark’s sake.

AHEM

Caranthir the Dark. What a name. I mean it might just be a reference to his father-name of Morifinwe and to his hair, but he is also described as being the harshest and quickest to anger. Yoongi, bless his soul and his actually very soft and squishy heart, is well known for: being unbothered by BTS general antics, for being the one to sit back and watch everyone else do dumb stuff (like when they were all dancing to MIC drop and he just walks away from them, or when they are all acting like kids jumping in the pool and he just watches with a smile on his face while drinking a glass of wine and look to me Caranthir is the one Feanorian who doesn’t pair up with anyone in particular, like we have Maedhros and Maglor, Celegorm and Curufin, Amrod and Amras, but Caranthir is the one who goes off and lives separate from them and

GOSH now I sound so dumb because I am NOT trying to say that Caranthir doesn’t love his bros or that Yoongi is a loner that is NOT what I am saying, agh I mean Caranthir is great (minus, you know, the kin-slayings the Feanorians sadly fall into) and even befriends Haleth’s people and protects them, t’s just this weird categorizing thing in my head, that Caranthir is the crusty brother, and while he loves his bros to DEATH and they him, the majority of his bros are sliiiiightly afraid of him, in a brotherly way, like how the members are with Yoongi! Like just recently oh what was it, they were on a BTS Run episode and someone had to splash or otherwise give Yoongi a penalty and right away everyone was like NAMJOON YOU DO IT. turning to the leader hyung because they don’t want Yoongi to be mad at them

Of course now I am remembering that one post of gifs demonstrating how Jungkook is the only one who can bother Yoongi without dying lol except NOW I am picturing Amrod the youngest Feanorian* being the only one who can bother Caranthir and then the ensuing PAIN because Amrod Umbarto (thanks for THAT name, Mom) perishes (in certain canon) in flames at the Burning of the Ships and wowwww no I do not need any of this pain

*SIDENOTE: AMROD IS THE YOUNGEST IN CERTAIN CANON WHICH CONFUSES THINGS A HECK OF A LOT SEE THE AMROD AND AMRAS SECTION BELOW

I’m pretty sure I have never rambled so much in my life and also pretty sure I have way too many parentheses and not all of them are closed oops

Anyway, imagine Caranthir as the brother you are afraid of but would die for and who would die for you if anyone looks at you wrong, the brother with the wry acerbic wit, but who LITERALLY LIGHTS UP THE UNIVERSE WITH HIS SMILE AND ALSO DOESN’T EXPRESS HIS LOVE ALOUD AS OFTEN AS SOME OF YOUR BROTHERS DO BUT

HE SECRETLY LOVES PHYSICAL CONTACT AT TIMES AND ALSO SECRETLY LOVES PIGGY-BACK RIDES EVEN THO HE PROFESSES TO HATE THEM AND GIVES OUT WISE LIFE ADVICE TO HIS BROS AND HIS PEOPLE AND IS SUCH A SOFTIE FOR HIS BROS AND OCCASIONALLY SENDS ONE OF HIS BABY BROS LONG LETTERS WITH A SIMPLE “I LOVE YOU” AT THE END THAT HAS CELEGORM OR AMROD CRYING FOR TEN MINUTES (HAHAHA GUESS WHO I THINK TAEHYUNG WOULD BE)

Also someone has to be the best cook of the Feanorians and it might as well be Caranthir

….apparently I’m not done with Caranthir, because “the Dark” also makes me think of a dark horse, or at least something happening that is unexpected, and that reminds me of that interview where dad/mom/interpreter Namjoon was like yeah none of the other members can speak English, and then Yoongi just out of NOWHERE speaks a line of great English and Namjoon was like ….guess I was wrong

OKAAAAY WHERE ARE WE

I do not have very clear thoughts about who the rest of the members are so let’s just go with my brain and hope it makes some good connections

Let’s do Celegorm since I just mentioned him

Celegorm could be either Taehyung or….Jin? :? Merrr idk. Let’s examine

I think the main reason why I jump at the option of Tae for Celegorm is because of Tae’s love for his dog Yeontan, or Tan, and of course Celegorm is the master of Huan, and they had a very special relationship for ages until Celegorm f---ed up. Seriously, you want to see something cute? Look up Tae’s Vlive that is entirely focused on his lil pupper (what am I saying look up ANYTHING about Tae and you will find something cute)

On the other hand Jin could be Celegorm because Celegorm is known as the Fair and if you don’t know by now that Jin is World Wide Handsome I don’t know how I can help you

OMG WAIT I JUST THOUGHT OF OTHER REASONS WHY JIN COULD BE CELEGORM! So Celegorm’s father-name is Turcafinwë, which basically means “strong in body” and Jin has got those broad shoulders (gosh they are so broad). Also, Celegorm’s mother-name is Tyelkormo, or “hasty riser,” referring to his quick temper and habit of leaping when angered. And this doesn’t perfectly relate but the amount of times I have seen Jin yelling or just being wild in general or even just pretending to be mad makes me think of this. Also there was one time idk what was even going on but Jin was struggling to pronounce Bangtansonyeon-dan (SAME) and saying it was too long and difficult and J-Hope was teasing him and Namjoon told him not to get mad since he had been calling himself a fairy and shouldn’t be mad as such, and Jin was like hey I can be a mad fairy if I want lol

See now I am just confused because now I am looking back at Jin as Maglor and I might like that better? WHY IS THIS SO HARD

Speaking of Jin, and Celegorm, why on EARTH was I thinking of Jin for Curufin? Ugggh see my problem is I ran out of time last night and so I am finishing the essay some 20 hours later and I kNOW that when I was saying Jin should be Curufin I had a better reason then their names rhyme. Heck, I could make that same argument for Jimin as Curufin.

Except I also have a second and better argument for Jimin as Curufin, at least under the circumstance where Taehyung is Celegorm. Look, all the BTS members are really close with each other, and you can literally argue all day about who is closer to who (a really pointless waste of time in my opinion I mean why argue when you can just melt over them all being sweet and funny and kind and teasing with each other) but anyway all that aside one thing I love in particular is how sweet Jimin and Taehyung often are with each other, holding hands and comforting each other and being on teams in competitions *starts laughing at the memory of them being complete disasters that one cooking show* and anyway Celegorm and Curufin seem pretty inseparable, running around causing all kinds of trouble (guys sTOP). Jimin and Taehyung have called themselves soulmates, so it makes sense to have them be part of a duo

Not that Taehyung would engage in a kidnapping stunt like Celegorm did, but the point is, Jimin, the precious bby, has Tae’s back

Jimin: “Taehyung is the happiest when he is with me” aww

This has nothing to do with the point of this post but I just need to stop here and say that Jimin is so freaking talented I was just looking up some gifsets of him and obviously his singing is angelic but also OMGGG his dancing!!!

Ok, jumping back slightly, I guess one way Jin could be Curufin is if Jungkook is Celegorm, because I could see those beautiful dorks running around causing all kinds of trouble, except I really have no reason to have Jungkook be Celegorm, especially since he is very much Amras in my head for reasons

OOOH NO I also thought of a way in which Jungkook could be--wait for it--cURUFIN. WHY AM I LIKE THIS

You see, Curufin was his dad’s favorite son and thus Feanor gave his favorite son the exact same father-name Feanor had, Curufinwë, and Curufin is the only son who chose to use his father-name over his mother-name if I recall, and anyway all meaning he probably loved his dad a lot and was proud of his name, and this makes me think of how Namjoon gave Jungkook the title of the Golden Maknae and of how freaking much Jungkook looks up to and respects Namjoon (look while Namjoon is a hyung, he is also a dad figure, so he may as well be Feanor and Maedhros both)

I guess if Jungkook were Curufin, Jin could go back to being Celegorm

Aaaaggggh you do not know how much hair I have pulled out this is taking a lot of brainwork

FINALLY AT THE LAST TWO

We now present my exceedingly confused ramblings regarding the twins Amrod and Amras. Before we begin, let me SHAKE MY FIST AT TOLKIEN FOR MAKING THIS ESSAY EVEN MORE CONFUSING TO WRITE

See, I had Jungkook all set up in my head as Amras, the youngest son according to the Silmarillion. Jungkook is the maknae, the baby, and all the members DOTE on him and he loves them and respects them and pesters them and it’s great, so yeah Jungkook has to be Amras the baby of the Feanorians. I would then put Taehyung as Amrod, the just barely older bby who the other members also adore and protect. Jungkook and Taehyung are SO FREAKING CUTE whenever they are doing stuff together, whether it is singing or hugging or holding each other on their backs while they singing. When they goof off together or pester each other, they are the most precious, must dorkiest dorks to ever be my faves. Hence why I pair them together in my head as Amrod and Amras, at least the times when I am not pairing Tae with Jimin or Jungkook with Jin. Amrad and Amras seem as inseparable as Celegorm and Curufin, and they go off and live in some beautiful wild part of the land and basically stick to hunting and staying out of everyone’s business until they get reminded they took a stupid oath

EXCEPT then Tolkien has one alternate writing where the youngest is actually AMROD and Amrod dies at the burning of the ships because Feanor doesn’t know how to count his kids I guess (Namjoon you lost something again) (sorry that is a terrible joke) (but is it made slightly better by the fact that while Namjoon is apparently Feanor he is much more Maedhros, who was against the burning of the ships and did not participate?) so like this is where I started to get my third headache (exacerbated by the fact that I haven’t eaten dinner yet and it is 9 pm what is wrong with me) because then I have to make Jungkook Amrod and Taehyung Amras. It’s such a trial having to write both their names next to both Feanorians

On the other hand, an interesting thing to think about is that in this alternate writing, Amras was so aggrieved by his brother’s death that he called out Feanor--Feanor!--for being so dumb as to A. call or let his wife call their youngest by the name of Umbarto (the Fated) and then to B. accidentally let him perish in a fire that FEANOR started because he had a grudge (and I think Tolkien wrote that that Amrod was possibly sleeping on the ships because he was upset with Feanor for the terrible deeds he was committing, so like, double way to go Feanor)

I am really tired and hungry my head hurts

What am I missing?

I like Taehyung and Jungkook best for Amrod and Amras a lot BUT if I were doing one of the other options above, I could see having the follow lineup:

Jin=Celegorm, Jungkook= Curufin, Jimin=Amrod, Taehyung=Amras

In this instance, I could see Jimin and Tae as either Amrod or Amras no matter which one is older. Taehyung could definitely be the bby and do his own thing but could also be the brother who mourns his brother and calls out Feanor. Actually though Jimin while being young and precious gives me more of an older brother vibe than Taehyung does, so I guess I would have Jimin be the elder of the twins. Yes, that makes more sense

UGH but wait if I put Jimin and Tae as Curufin and Celegorm, I could put Jungkook back as youngest bby Amrod or Amras, but would Jin fit into the older twin role? Maaaaybe, if you just think about Jungkook and Jin heading off by themselves and goofing off...I don’t like it as much though

Possibilities So Far

Maedhros: Namjoon, maybe J-Hope?

Maglor: Jin, J-Hope, Yoongi, maybe Namjoon

Caranthir: Yoongi

Celegorm: Taehyung, Jin

Curufin: Jimin, Jungkook

Amrod: Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin

Amras: Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin

……………………….

I have spent five minutes now trying to figure out possible final line-ups but it’s all a mess

I  LITERALLY CAN’T THINK ANYMORE

I DECLARE THIS ESSAY/RANT HAS COME TO AN END

PLEASE CHELSEA SEND HELP!

WHAT AM I MISSING/HAVE WRONG? IS THERE A BETTER SPOT FOR J-HOPE? SHOULD SOMEONE ELSE BE CARANTHIR? COULD JIN BE A CARANTHIR IN SOME WAY?? (I THINK I COULD HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT BUT I AM TOO TIRED TO THINK THEM)

[saltwatersweets]

New Home

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hi! Since I was supposed to do a narrative essay for an English project, I, being myself, blew it way out of proportion and wound up with this 2,497 word mess. 

Whoops.

I decided that I wanted to share it online, since it is technically a story. It’s not part of any fandoms, but instead has original characters. I know this is fairly unusual (so far) from me, but I thought it would be fun! 

Please note that this story, while it is a work of realistic fiction, is not in any way supposed to be connected to a real life event that has happened. However, this story is pretty dark, so please pay attention to the trigger warnings below.

Major character death, minor character death, funerals, mentions of sickness, car crashes, hospitals, mentions of adoption, guilt, self-deprecation (not heavy but the protagonist blames himself), tears, and a fair bit of angst. (I’m not sure if these are all triggers but I just want to make sure.)

Please tell me if I missed anything. If you are someone who is made uncomfortable at darker works of fiction, then please have caution reading this. As always, stay safe, and enjoy!

           It has been five years.

           I still believe that it was not her fault. It really doesn’t matter what people say, because if I know her at all, she would have been careful. She was only in her first few years of driving, but she was one of the most cautious people I know, aside from myself, of course. She was a woman of legality, and would have waited for all the stop signs, all the blinkers, and every pedestrian for as long as she had a license. To call in the middle of the road seemed so unlike her. I suppose, though, given the circumstances, it makes sense. I couldn’t be angry at her, though, not her, never her. I’m still illogically mad; not at anyone (except for maybe myself), but instead at the situation. Why her? What had she done wrong?

           When she came into our lives like a shooting star, my parents said her home had not been the best. It made sense, given where she was from. Africa was not the wealthiest place, after all. They hoped that, even though her old homes were unfit for her, that we could make her feel welcome in her new home. And we did. Ever since the day my - our - parents adopted her, all I had wanted to do was protect her. She was so sweet and caring, even as a small child, that I knew from the moment I held her in my tiny eight-year-old arms she ought to grow up healthy and have a fulfilling life. It was what she deserved, after all, and I vowed to do everything in my power to make sure she got everything she deserved. I wanted her to be safe in her new home. Admittedly, in many aspects, I failed, but I remind myself that there was nothing I could have done. I was not there (I should have been). There is no one to blame, truly.

           I remember the day she found my toys. At first I was mad, but seeing her wondrous joy, joy at something she had been deprived of from lack of money, my anger melted away. She picked up an action figure, and handed one to me with that warm smile on her face, and we played for hours that day. And the next. And the next after that. For the entire week we battled playfully in our imagination, and it soon became a daily routine, playing pretend to tire ourselves out (in the rare case when it only served to rile us up more, Mom would sing us a lullaby and rub our heads until we fell soundly and swiftly asleep).

           I remember the first time we ever argued. I was around ten, and she was six. I was mad because she had taken one of my toys, the one I cherished most. I had told her very early on that it was my favorite one, and that she wasn’t to play with it. I decided not to mention how I got it, decided it wasn’t important or necessary. (The truth was, I had gotten really sick one time, sicker than I had ever been. I had to go to the hospital for over a week. When I finally escaped, my mom looked really worried. I asked why, and she stayed silent for a while. Dad finally said that her father had a genetic disease that only affected males, and she was worried I had gotten it. I hadn’t, obviously, but that didn’t stop her anxiety. Before I went back to school, they took me to a toy shop and told me to pick anything I wanted. I chose a teddy bear, and didn’t let it out of my sight for years.) I started screaming, and then she did too, and then we both were screaming at each other over a toy. Dad came in (Mom was at her mom’s house; it was about when she started to fall ill as well) and asked what the problem was. I said that my sister had taken my toy and refused to give him back, and she declared that I had come in our room and started yelling at her. Dad didn’t look angry; really, he only shook his head and gave the toy back to me. I looked at her, and saw her wet face, and looked down and felt guilty. I decided that I would get her her own special toy, one that she could adore just as much as I loved my toy. Luckily for me, her birthday was only a few months away, and I made her a card and gave her a matching bear that looked just like mine. Her eyes shown like stars when she saw it, and she hugged me and thanked me and said our bears were siblings, just like we were. Her happiness was positively contagious, and I was smiling and agreeing with her. I’m glad Mom managed to snap a photo of our faces; it’s a moment I never want to forget.

           I remember when we stopped playing inside and began to venture into the cold, unforgiving wilderness of our backyard. She loved to be the hero, and I complied with her preferences, settling for the villain. There was one time when she and I forgot to come inside before the sun sunk into the ground, and Mom and Dad came out. I thought they would scold us, and based on their expressions it was probably their plan to, but when they looked up, they saw the stars. They were glimmering brightly for all to see, sparkles on a dark night, undeterred by the millions of people who were likely watching their beauty with enthrallment. They seemed so peaceful, so calming, that Mom and Dad simply looked at us, sat down, and began pointing at each star and guessing which one they were. Gazing back at this memory, they were actually really close. (They missed Draco and Mars. The rest were correct.)

           I remember when we were older, far older, and we were graduating school. Or, more accurately, I was graduating from high school, and her, middle school. I’ll be honest; it wasn’t quite the celebration I expected. I never had that many friends, and the ones I did have were not close. However, my sister did, and her friends were gathered around her like birds to a crumb, talking about high school and boys and how they were so excited. I wanted to tell them that there really wasn’t much to be excited for (unless they like their backpack so full with books their spines threatened to break and much less free time), but decided against it. They’d learn. We had cake, we had some friends at our house, and we had fun. She was a lot more mature than her friends, and she was about to go to high school, but I still called her my little sister. Not in a degrading way, though. She hated being called a child, even if she technically was one. I said it more endearingly than offensively.

           …I especially remember the day that we grew apart. She had other plans (at that point, she was only one year away from college, and was swamped with work and applications), as did I. We’d been seeing each other less and less, and had forgotten to cherish each moment with the other. I’ll never forget her parting words, though. It was the first time we argued in years, and it was about something so trivial I don’t even remember what we had disagreed upon. Before we knew it, we were hurling half-hearted insults at each other. At one point, she had referred to me as a statue. I didn’t mind. In fact, I took it as a compliment. Statues were firm, and rigid, and they didn’t bow to anyone or meet anyone’s demands but their own. When I told her this, she simply scoffed and stated how it proved her point exactly. I was getting a bit fed up, now, so I told her that she probably had work to do and should get back to it. Either way, I had far more important things to do than sit here and argue with a child. A hurt look crossed her face, and I instantly wanted to take the words back. But you can never quite retract words; you can apologize and make up for it as much as you want, but you can never undo what has been done. I didn’t even have a chance to say sorry before she was out the door and driving off. I don’t think I would have said sorry even if she stayed.

           What happened next I wish I could forget.

           It was months before I heard any word of her. I had assumed she had plans for some great college and she was so busy getting ready she hadn’t thought to contact me. Or perhaps ignoring me was a conscious choice. I’ll never know. It’s not like I can ask. Either way, I didn’t know where she was, so when I got the phone call, I was both curious and had apprehensions. I answered, but it was not her voice. It was the voice of a panicked man, a voice that was wet with guilt and anxiety. He said that a car had slowed down significantly before a turn, a turn he was going quite quickly through, and once he had stopped, it was too late. He said his friend was calling nine-one-one about a girl in her late teens that had been injured horribly. He said the girl’s phone was off, and that she had been trying to call someone. Specifically, me. He said that I should hurry, and I awaited no further instruction. I raced to my car and sped off to her, my sister, my family.

           I got there after around two hours. My parents were there, both crying and clutching at each other like a lifeline. They looked so, so relieved when they saw me, and told me my sister was in the room down the hall, and that she was unconscious. Apparently, she had damaged her head and they didn’t know if she would last the night. I nodded, numbly, and walked slowly into the room. There she was, in all her beauty: my sister. My sister, who I counted the stars with at night, was sleeping peacefully. My sister, who had always been a hero (except for that one time), was hurt. My sister, who had always shared and given and not cared what her peers thought of her, was dying. My sister, who had laughed and smiled that delighted smile and who had always made me smile too, was gone.

           I didn’t even notice the tears until they splashed on the blanket. There was nothing I could do. I had arrived just in time. I looked down at her, my face wet, and then kissed her softly on the forehead like I always had when we were kids. Pulling her fuzzy blanket up over her shoulders like any good big brother should, I whispered one last goodnight, and had finished tucking her in. She did not say anything, but I could have sworn I saw a faint light in the room.

           After the funeral, I stayed at our parents’ house, which was also her house. It felt so, so, empty without her there. It was like something was missing, a puzzle piece that will never be found, no matter how hard one may look. It felt like it would never get better, that there would be this whole in my heart that would never be filled. I had never felt this way before, not even when she left. I felt alone. I felt everything and nothing at the same time. It was horrible, and it took so long for this feeling to sink in. It was there, and she was not.

           It was weeks before I dragged myself back home. My birthday had passed, and hers was far away. It felt different, yes, but not nearly as bad as the house I grew up in. I became absorbed in my school work and my job (I was about to graduate college) and tried to forget it. I couldn’t. One day, I was walking around a park, and I saw someone who looked vaguely familiar. I went up to him, asked his name, and realized it was one of my sister’s friends in high school. He hadn’t been to the funeral; he hadn’t known she had passed until only a week ago. He came here every day since then, to clear his mind. I said my goodbyes, and walked back to my lonely, dreary house, but couldn’t sleep. My mind was too restless.

           I went back to my parents’ house a few days before her birthday. I told them it was because I wanted to make sure they were okay, which was part of it, but the truth was: I wanted them to make sure I was okay. On her birthday, I was in my old room for most of the day, but came out the next one. There my parents were, looking at an old photo album, smiling and crying and laughing to themselves and to each other. They saw me, called me over, and I gazed at the pictures and cried too. We cried together. I stepped around the house, breaking down into tears at nearly every room. Each square inch had a memory attached to it, a memory that would never happen again. It hurt me, but it helped me. It made me weak, but it gave me the strength to move on.

           Five years later, and I still find it hard. However, it has become much, much easier. It becomes decreasingly difficult to not feel guilty. It has slowly, ever slowly become less painful to recount the memories. I’ve become stronger, more resilient. I have bad days, of course, but even those have faded away from every day, to once a week, to once a month, to a rarity. I miss her, and I’ll never forget her laugh, her smile, but I’ve moved on, just like I know she’d want me to. My parents have, too. I am so proud of them, and they are proud of me. They are sad, yes, but they are hopeful. They say we will see her again someday. They say her place here was not permanent, even if we wished it was. They say this may have been her home, with us, but they say she has gone to a new home. A new home that is far better than the home we have given her.

           And in my heart, I know she’s there, waiting patiently. She’s at peace, and now I am, too.

           That’s good enough for me.

[binsofchaos]

My Mother, My Starter | Kerri Conan

How saving a sourdough starter took on the shape of grief

Before popping the top to take a whiff, I stood lit by the open refrigerator and turned the cold jar in my hands. I’d just returned home from two months at Mom’s bedside, helpless to keep her alive. And now my starter and I are weepy globs, a shadow of our bubbly selves, oozing the strong smell of alcohol.

I’ll save you, I whispered, letting the wet rye suck me under like quicksand.

In the Anna Rae Conan slideshow that orbits my head, she made sourdough bread when I was little, but it’s hard to be sure. She cooked, sewed, fixed, crafted, and grew everything. Papier-mâché. Ceramics. Candles. Decoupage ashtrays. Nude drawings and etchings. Macramé sculptures. Wire figures. Paintings in oil, acrylic, pastel, and watercolor. Barbie clothes that matched our outfits, down to pearl buttons and velvet trim. Ski pants for the whole family. Two fancy dresses for my Junior Miss farce. She hung wallpaper, laid flooring, tiled bathrooms, antiqued old furniture, and grew plumeria, cantaloupes, string beans, and broccoli. Her cornflake-crusted baked chicken was so crisp that as you chewed you could hear crackling behind your eardrums.

Only gardening and cooking — OK, and an underutilized knack for papier-mâché — rubbed off on me. I can do anything, though; A.R. taught me that. She was a teacher all right. Thousands of kids passed through her junior high classrooms during their peach fuzz years. Thinking of the influence she had on all these lives — people who don’t know she’s gone yet carry a piece of her with them — sparks another round of tears. Where would I carry my nugget of her?

Less water is what the starter needs to rebound, or so is the consensus among the online and collegial sources rallied for consultation. Beyond that, the only other agreement is frequent feedings during triage. But I can’t muster visitation that often; my raw grief is penance enough.

Catholic Friday in our 1960s kitchen: Milk-poached sole. Cracked Dungeness with homemade mayo and cocktail sauces. Frocia, usually made with spinach or leftover noodles. Breaded eggplant baked in sour cream and mozzarella. When Sissy and I ate cheesy tuna loaf or begged for fish sticks, she’d make herself a sardine sandwich. (I make the same choice now.) Spaghetti with garlic, Parmesan, dried herbs, and olive oil she called “alla ghierga.” A little help with the reference, please, someone? It’s spelled phonetically here, her voice dictating to me clear and bright.

Midnight Mass. Kid’s jingles. Christmas carols. Acapella anything. Blues and jazz standards spun as lullabies. Karaoke. Piano bars. Evening practice at her grand. She and Dad picked up a real bargain at a repossession warehouse in San Francisco; reach out if you know someone — we’re desperate to find her beloved instrument a new home.

My heart says to simply feed the starter; I wait for a reply from Mom, that voice. How could I ignore one drop? I manage, though, holding back 125 grams, a little more than usual. I lather and scrub the remaining death from the jar to give what I reserved, the mother I’ve nurtured for more than a year, a chance at survival. Then I stir in equal parts water and rye. Damn what anyone says about too much water.

The one who hatched me loved eggs. Deviled. Coconut macaroons. Crème brûlée. Rice custard. In the nest. Hard boiled until the pot accidentally went dry and they exploded all over the kitchen. Pickled. Sliced with a special tool that may have been her mother’s. After she couldn’t use the stove anymore, she scrambled eggs perfectly with cheese using a ceramic mug in the microwave, watching and stirring like a hawk.

Decades ago, Dad wooed clients with Mom’s renditions of restaurant dishes, like tableside Caesar, palm-size spinach-ricotta tortelloni, and braciola tied meticulously with thread. Or maybe a grill-load of shish kebabs was on the menu, or New Joe’s Special — a skillet of chopped beef, eggs, and spinach. (We ate a lot of eggs and spinach when I was little.) Whatever the main, dessert was either coffee-pecan pie or a sugar-crusted domed cinnamon cake with warm lemon curd sauce. Lord, I’ve got to find that recipe.

Cocktail parties. Pigs in the blanket, fondue, bacon-wrapped mushrooms and olives, fried-and-sauced meatballs, briny crab dip, giardiniera with slightly overcooked vegetables. Artichoke spread. Biscotti, rum balls, Russian tea cakes, and pralines. A.R. set an elegant table — including napkin rings she fashioned from gold-leafed plaster of Paris — or a functional buffet with warming trays and chafing dishes. Dad ran the HiFi and bar while Mom replenished hors d’oeuvres. She entertained calmly, wearing full makeup and an updo, in maxi dresses sewn in the wee hours of the previous evening.

My job was to polish the silver. You’re just supposed to let it oxidize now.

Maybe I should expose the starter to absorb whatever’s left of the yeast swirling around my kitchen. I decide to let the jar sit open for 19 hours to jumpstart salvation fermentation. I frequently stick my face up close for signs of breathing. I got you, mama. I got you.

Next morning, no visible action, but the starter smells yeasty, not so boozy. Hope prompts more consulting. I cherry-pick advice — as Mom would have — and decide to keep 100 grams of life-support starter and add 100 grams of rye flour and 50 grams of water, then wait and see another day before giving up. Has anyone seen my corkscrew?

I woke up early, this round now clocking in at 21 hours at room temperature. It smells good enough to taste. I dip in a finger and notice some bounce but no bubbles. Plenty dry, though. Bastard advice online. I pull out 110 grams, match it with water, and stir the slurry until smooth; then add the same in rye flour. Now I’m checking my mother frequently.

In a couple of hours, bubbles. I make a gorgeous loaf and return to the usual weekly feeding-and-baking protocol. Thank you for not dying, I say, this time out loud, relieved to hear my mother answer.

[rougedraconteur]

M could go to the SAG-AFTRA Bearding Standards office, get the union to represent her in what is clearly a bearding violation on D’s part. She and her baby do have rights. They could force D to quit dragging them around like shiny baubles on his charm bracelet, sparkly acquisitions just for show to enhance his image, like that monstrosity of a ring he wore. Or that planter’s hat. Or those suspenders. Hello, Big Daddy subliminal reference. Where’s Brick and his football buddy?

In fact, in America right now, her baby has more rights than she does. She could use that, she loves jumping into the middle of powerful political movements and making an awkward and ambiguous stand to personally benefit herself. It is sort of her thing. And she is dressed perfectly to appeal to a certain faction. A twitter campaign “defending her honor” (say it like Foghorn Leghorn would) could possibly outweigh the JoHo baby dropped from the sky. And M needs one fan who dresses like this daily to see an opportunity to make a name for themselves and to post online on Insta or preferably Tik Tok and say #freemamamia! They need to be angry and wave a gun, even if it is a toy gun, or cry with a cute live baby in a pouch, and the baby wave a gun. Again, in this case, a toy gun is better. I would do it myself, but I am too old and not cute enough. (And they could tie in to both Brit-Brit and all the Mama Mia possible associations right now, which are endless, even The Gilded Age might get a little boost.)

Although I know the gloves are hard to source, because why do these crimes against humanity even exist, surely AW, who leaked all this shit, and knows exactly what she is doing, could provide a source on her site, pretend the money goes to charity, like the rest of the team. Call it “My Niece’s Niceties”, hashtag the free mama mia stuff, and include mama and baby matching outfits geared to each activity, but with cute M showbizzy touches, like a shirt saying “You have a baby! IN A BAR!” It is a Re/ese-ism, all cute girls know anything she does is okay. She is bonafide, RW has put in the work and earned it, bitches. M could even have a shirt with her own drunken face screaming “Do you know who I AM!” AGAIN, Ree/se makes that okay. OH, and the gloves become like the Pink Pussy hats, and there is a Zoom Live march where they all raise their pink lace fists like pink power at D for being such a sexy brute to her and demanding she follow him so he can have sexy times always, at the drop of her big pregnant girl panties. SHE IS GOING TO BE A MOTHER, YOU FILTHY ANIMAL! (D needs to plan for this, and release an EP of sexy lullabies during the protest.)

Ree/se paid homage to Dol/ly with all her WWDD gear for her new lifestyle branded Dra/per Ja/mes southernisms, M could pay tribute to Re/ese in the same way, AW and M’s mom would know how to merchandise the shit out of that. RM could set that all up, he knows all the parties involved here, and he loves to mess with D’s life. It could be a whole new source of revenue for the team, and start a new trend at baby showers. They could sell in matching packs, like Barbie Mom and Barbie Baby-Hollywood Pap Walk, Torn Fishnets look with a diaper that says “I am peeing right now”, or Nursing in a Broadway Theater, Jeweled Bra Version. They couldn’t use Barbie, of course, the new Barbie movie would shut that shit right down. Glitzy would work, I guess. Same with Re/ese, she would fiercely protect her brand, of course.

But then that could be a whole thing, too. Catfight. RM would so love to set that up, too. The campy drama of R and M going after each other, of R’s teen daughter trashing a baby on social media “Extra Crispy Von Glitz-Criss? Who does she think she is, The Little Princess? Sending me a package from her “Assorted Poo” collection? And that baby tiara is going to make her head all misshapen.” Priceless.

Still not like being in the Matrix series, but it’s something.

Nonnie, are you drunk? I have NEVER put that man on a pedestal and claimed he was perfect. My friends and I quite regularly call him out when it is warranted.

The bottom line is this for me. D has obligations he has to travel as a result of. SHE is the one that is expecting a child and she is not obligated in ANY way to follow him on jaunts across the country or the ocean. So yes, she is the one taking unnecessary risks when she in a vulnerable state at what is considered an advanced age for pregnancy. Now, don't go twisting that, as your kind likes to, to me saying she is old. I'm not. It's a known fact that advanced maternal age is anything over 35.

As for the final point you made about him being besties with LM? That doesn't even deserve the attention I am giving it now. However, if you don't recognize the difference between a mutually beneficial "friendship" in this industry and a genuine friendship, than I can't help you. Just because he didn't drag her ass through the mud does NOT make them besties, it just reinforces he's more diplomatic than most.

[classywastelandbread-blog]

Li Xuan-Feng was bringing the cup of tea to their lips when Hana-chan burst into the living area.

For a moment they were frozen at an impasse, staring at each other. Then, not unlike a spastic cat, Hana-chan bolted out of the room and to the kitchen, returning with a glass mug of almond milk. She bowed at the edge of Li Xuan-Feng’s short table, nearly spilling her drink.

It was a sloppy bow but it served its purpose and she wasn’t in Japan – or anywhere really – long enough to need it to be perfect. “May I join you?” she asked in accented Japanese. “You don’t need to worry about me because I have my own drink. I would just like to enjoy your company.”

“Liar,” Li Xuan-Feng murmured absently and she broke her bow to pout at them. “But feel free to sit with me until you believe it polite enough to ask what you want of me.”

Hana-chan blushed and set down her mug before sitting in passable seiza despite her prosthetics. They were intrigued to see this, as the models she tended to use were the spring models. Perhaps Shimada-sama had convinced her to speak with R&D about testing out other types.

They made a mental note to look into it later.

To her credit, she managed to wait through three cups of tea – one of which they shared with her once she had drank enough of her almond milk to not completely dilute the subtle hints of mango and raspberry.

They made another mental note to see if they could find a similar tea and pick Hanzo’s brain to see where he had gotten it. For all it was from a large chain store in America it was quite lovely.

“Speak,” Li Xuan-Feng advised her. “I fear that if you wait any longer you will burst.”

Hana-chan blushed and tried another bow that made her wince – the prosthetics probably dug into her stumps. “I want you to teach me about makeup,” she blurted and then slapped her hands over her mouth.

“How old are you?” Li Xuan-Feng asked although they already know. “Aren’t you a little young to be wearing makeup?”

The eleven year-old’s chin jutted out stubbornly. If she wasn’t Korean through-and-through and everyone hadn’t insisted that Hanzo was absolutely not her father (apparently a common misconception), Li Xuan-Feng would have thought she was a Shimada. But some behaviors and temperaments were learned, after all.

“I’m eleven,” she challenged in English. “How old were you when you first learned how to do makeup?” she muttered in Korean.

Li Xuan-Feng cocked their head to the side. “I was eleven,” they said in English.

“And how old are you now?” she taunted.

It had never particularly bothered them, so they said, “Eleven.” When Hana-chan scowled at them, they smirked. “Plus nearly three decades.”

She wrinkled her nose, still tired enough to be easily distracted. “You’re old!”

Li Xuan-Feng snorted. “A fine way to convince me to give in to your demands.” For a moment, Hana-chan looked comically horrified and her hands covered her mouth. “And if your fathers come after me for teaching their baby girl about makeup?”

Looking down, Hana-chan blushed cutely. “No one at the Farm can teach me,” she mumbled in passable German.

“There is an amazing invention called YouTube,” Li Xuan-Feng pointed out in the same language. “Also your pronunciations are a little off. Watch the accents on the vowels and your consonants need to be sharper – hard enough to cut, my teacher used to tell me.”

Hana-chan’s blush burned brighter. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “I just…”

“I’m not saying I won’t,” Li Xuan-Feng told her kindly as they took another sip of tea. “I’m just thinking of where to begin.”

The destruction of not only their short tea table but also their nice teapot and cups was averted only because the toes of Hana-chan’s prosthetics caught on the decorative pillow she had been sitting on so she had not been able to launch herself at Li Xuan-Feng in a flying hug.

It started simple, much to Hana-chan’s frustration: a simple two lines done in brown eyeliner pencil on her cheeks.

“Practice, practice, practice,” Li Xuan-Feng told her sternly when they passed the small kit to her: two eyeliner pencils, a sharpening box, a sleeve of flattened cotton pads, and liquid makeup remover. “You start off small, with balance. Before you start on your face, you start on paper.”

They showed them with a crayon on a small Shimada Industries notepad. Two sets of two lines, each the same size, perfectly parallel or close enough that a difference couldn’t easily be seen.

“I don’t get it,” Hana-chan complained.

Patiently, they pointed to the paper. “You practice on paper to draw flat parallel lines. You learn to see how you need to adjust your hands and pen,” they shook the crayon pointedly, “to get the desired effect. You move on to your face to make the same parallel lines so you know how to draw lines that appear flat on curved surfaces. Once you can consistently do this, I will teach you more.”

Though she clearly didn’t like it, Hana-chan bowed her head and accepted it and they ruffled her hair. It took five tries for her to get lines that are parallel enough to pass Li Xuan-Feng’s critical inspection.

The action on her face took three times as many tries and just as many round cotton pads soaked in makeup remover. Just as she was beginning to get frustrated, her cheeks bright red from rubbing them and her eyes a little too-bright, she made two perfect lines.

The smile she sent toward Li Xuan-Feng was brilliant and they let her tackle them in a flying hug.

At first her fathers didn’t seem to know what to make of the four innocent lines on her face but they ultimately ignored them. “Men,” they teased, rolling their eyes when Hana-chan told them about it.

Two days later, they changed it to angled lines, then two days after that it moved on to shapes. Hana-chan decided that she liked the look of triangles like whiskers on her face and by then she had gone through the entire first pencil.

As a reward, Li Xuan-Feng took her to a nice makeup store to get more colors and other types of makeup that she wanted to learn about. John Jesse McCree and Hanzo looked resigned and the cowboy outright looked ready to cry in fatherly pride when they returned.

Aimi-sama snorted into her evening tea as they watched their nightly soap operas. John Jesse McCree and Hanzo sat with Hana-chan stretched across their laps without her prosthetics on. They fussed over her, John Jesse McCree mumbled tearily about his little baby growing up; Hanzo looked just as teary to hear his husband say that and poor Hana-chan just looked uncomfortable.

“Men are dumb,” Aimi-sama told Li Xuan-Feng who rolled their eyes in agreement.

That is how my mom told me she learned how to do her makeup. But...no one had the heart to tell her to wipe off the lines on her face so she’d go around with kitty whiskers unless someone caught her and made her wash it off. 

She recently told me this story and I thought it was adorable and it kind of matched with D.va’s canon war paint. 

Hana is on her way to being a polyglot. She learned a few words and a few lullabies in Yoruba from Orisa, a few words in German from Rein and Angela, is of course fluent in Korean, Japanese, and English, and is beginning to pick up Spanish, much to Sombra’s distress.

Li Xuan-Feng is also a polyglot. They have a degree in linguistics and used that to apply themselves to learning as many languages as possible to be of as much use to Shimada-sama as possible. Since he doesn’t “tour” as a proper CEO, they don’t use it as much but they try to maintain all of their languages as much as possible, especially the ones their companies has strongest ties with. 

Li Xuan-Feng refers to Jesse as “John Jesse McCree” or “Mr. McCree” when speaking directly to him because they have no reference point for what he wants them to call him.