#and my brain is here. saying no no please let them be like me please let me have this
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Hi Monae how are you babes? Can I request for terry and his wife having sex for the first time since their baby was born and she was trying to cover up her post baby body after having her baby.
🥺
A/n: I’m good baby! I’m so sorry this took so long, me and my brain weren’t friends lol. Please accept this as an early Christmas gift and apology! I hope you enjoy, feedback is always appreciated 💕
Content warnings: mentions of postpartum insecurity, gentle sex?, oral, a spank or two (i couldn’t help it), mirror sex, fluffy sweetness all around, also barely proofread oops
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“Diapers, bottles, bibs, pacifiers…” You paced around the nursery as you packed your daughter Josie’s diaper bag. She was laying in her crib, fresh from the bath and drifting off to sleep under the musical chime of her mobile. Terry was quiet as he ambled up the stairs with extra clean bottles and formula. The shadow of you flitting around her room like a mad woman on the hallway wall made Terry laugh. This was Josie’s first time being away from you guys for two whole nights and your nerves were through the roof.
“Calm down baby, you know my mama will take good care of her” Terry sat the bottles and formula on the dresser next to her bag, coming up behind you to rub his hands soothingly down your arms. You leaned back into him and you closed your eyes to take a deep breath. You couldn’t help but be anxious. This was the longest you’d be away from your baby since she was born. You knew Mrs. Richmond wouldn’t let a curl on Josie’s head be touched but your nerves were still crackling with anxiety.
“I know, ‘m just nervous” Your words were hushed as you turned to loop your arms around his waist. “I’m glad we’ll have some alone time. Maybe even get some good sleep, give the baby monitor a rest for the weekend” Terry rocked the both of you back and forth in his embrace. You hummed against him, the warmth of his body against yours making your eyes close in comfort.
Soft gurgles spilled from Josie’s mouth as she shifted positions in her crib, her noises causing you and Terry to separate. “I’ll finish packing up here. You go start the car.” You ordered Terry gently with point of your finger. He nodded dutifully, giving both you and Josie a soft kiss on the cheek.
—
“I’ll miss you babygirl” You cooed at Josie, rubbing her chubby cheek with your thumb. She nuzzled against the contact while she smiled with all her gums. “Y’all better get out of here so I can spend time with my baby” Mrs. Richmond started to usher you and Terry out the door, eager to spend time with her granddaughter. “Can’t we say bye?” Terry asked.
“No you can’t. Now get before them roads get bad.” Mrs. Richmond nodded to the window, swirls of flurries falling outside.
—
It felt weird to be in your bathroom alone. When Josie is fussy but you need to shower you bring her with you, letting her rest in her bouncer while you clean up. Terry often joins you when you’re doing your hair or taking off your makeup. You were never really alone these days, not since Josie was born. Even when she’s not with you physically her presence crackles through the baby monitor seemingly attached to your hand. You’d heard of women who become so consumed with their families that they lose themselves, but that isn’t happening to you.
Right?
All you could think about was a hot shower. Your clothes were strewn across the floor, a fabric trail leading to you standing at the sink. You pulled your braids up into a ponytail before wrapping it up in a fat bun. The counter was cold as you bent down to rest your elbows on it, filling your palms with water so you could wash your face. Before you could reach for the cleanser, your husband slid his hands around your hips.
“Can I help you sir?” You asked him through the mirror, water dripping down your neck to your chest. “Mhm, you sure can” Terry’s voice rumbling low in your ears. His strong hands rubbed over all your soft parts—stomach, hips, thighs, tits, ass. You sighed at the feeling, leaning back into him. But before you can get lost in your man, the quiet part of your mind speaks up.
You’ve never been a stranger to stretch marks, cellulite, dimples, pimples, or moles. All these things came with your figure and you had come to love them. Growing your babygirl gave you immense pride in your body and you wouldn’t trade your pregnancy experience for the world. Being a mother was wonderful journey but every journey has its ups and downs, and these postpartum stages were mostly down. The things you once loved about your body have become insecurities.
“I need to take a shower” You pressed yourself into the sink to create space between you two. “Can I join you?” Terry asks. You avoid his hand reaching for you, side stepping him and going to stand by the shower. “No, thank you baby but I got this one by myself” Your lips quirk up in an awkward smile, your hands shielding your breast and stomach from his watching eyes.
Terry frowned, the crease in the middle of his brows growing deeper as he examined your behavior. You never shy away from his touch whether it’s sexual or not. You’ve been somewhat avoidant recently. Not necessarily detached or distant but just…not the same. It was strange.
“Go lay down” Terry instructs, nodding towards the bedroom. Your mouth opened to retort but the look in Terry’s eyes made the words seep into your tongue. You obeyed wordlessly, feelings his eyes follow your every movement.
—
“Don’t look away” Terry spoke against you, mouth full of your wet pussy. His head could be seen from between your cheeks, the mirror that normally leaned on your bedroom wall now closer to the bed propped on its thin stand. Your eyes watered in pleasure as his tongue swirled around your clenching hole. The silver band of your wedding ring dug into your skin as you held onto the sheets tight.
His lips were soft against you, vibrating with his own moans as he feasted on you. “Terry baby ‘m gonna mmm fuck come” You started to grind against his face, beard tickling your mound. “I know” His words were muffled as he pulled your hips back against his face. The room around you blurred into nothing as your eyes rolled back, orgasm rolling through you with fury.
The sheets were soft on your hard nipples, the added stimulation making you cry out. You pulled yourself away from him weakly only to be pulled back. “Where you going?” He questioned. The spank Terry placed on your right ass cheek had you jolting away from him, which made him wrap his hand around the back of your neck. “Tell me where you going girl” Terry’s voice echoed in your head as you tried to focus. “Nowhere, I promise” You head shook back and forth wildly, braids falling from your bun.
Terry rubbed soothing circle on your now red ass cheek, giving you a moment to calm down. You started to bounce back on Terry’s bulge, your stickiness making his hard dick shine in the light of your bedroom. “Oh you want it now?” He teased. His hand came to hold your hips steady as he started to do the work for you. His swollen tip nudged against your clit just right, bubbles of precum decorating your flesh. You reached back to grab his dick, tired of being empty.
You fell into an arch as he found his home in your pussy. Your walls pulsated around him as if to say “welcome home.”
“Tight ass fucking pussy” He grunted from behind you, his balls resting against your clit as he bottomed out. He trapped his bottom lip between his teeth as he felt his balls start to throb. He fed you slow, deep thrusts, the slap of his thighs on yours filling the room. Goosebumps rushed over your skin with movement.
He hit all your spots with expert precision, catching your hand when you reached back to press it on his stomach. “No ma’am, this what you wanted. Be still and let me work my pussy open” He spoke, head thrown back and eyes closed. Your mind went numb with pleasure. The fat of your thighs started to jiggle as you shook, mouth open in silent moans. Each thrust stole the breath from your lungs.
“Let me tell you something” Terry wrapped a hand in your now messy hair, pulling to get you to look at him through the mirror. “Don’t you ever hide this body from me. This body carried my baby and I’ll be damned if you shamed of it” He punctuated his words with sharper thrusts making you squeal. “Tell me you’re beautiful” He demanded.
“I’m, ugh, I’m beautiful” Your words were quick, drool building up in your mouth and dribbling from the side of it. “Again, make me believe it” He responded. “I’m beautiful Terry, so beautiful” You felt yourself about to come again, walls squeezing him even tighter.
“Yes you are” Terry agreed, his own orgasm building. The sensation of you creaming around him triggered Terry’s orgasm. He continued to thrust as he spilled into you, the mixture of you two dripping onto the sheets. You fell limp onto the bed, shaking and whining at the overwhelming feeling. Terry pulled out slowly to watch his cum flow from your hole.
A warm rag was the next thing you felt on your pussy, the heat making you sigh in relief. “Don’t worry baby, I got you” Terry spoke softly, planting a kiss on your cheek.
—
tags: @kenshisluvrgirl @megamindsecretlair
#terry richmond#terry richmond x black female reader#terry richmond x black reader#terry richmond x reader#x black fem reader#x black plus size reader#x black reader#aaron pierre
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Basic human decency: The pretty doctor – 2/4 (Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader)
summary: In which Jack is the best wingman Hotch can ask for.
masterlist
As you’re wandering the aisles of the store near your home, looking for the next item on your shopping list, you make a quick phone call to check on a patient. It’s your day off, but it was a complicated surgery, and your brain can’t turn off its professional side. You listen to your colleague telling you about the latest lab results, getting so lost in the conversation that you almost hit a little kid with the shopping cart. You raise your hand and say sorry, but when you turn the cart to get past him, he lets out a gasp and points at you.
“Dad, look, the pretty doctor!” he says excitedly.
You pull the phone away from your ear as you give him a questioning look, but the little blond boy is only smiling at you happily. “I’ll call you back, Claire,” you tell your colleague before putting the device away. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” you ask the boy with a kind smile.
He rushes past the cart and stops in front of you. “You’re the pretty doctor who saved my dad.”
“Jack, don’t run away like this, I told you to stay by my side. I’m sorry, I hope he didn’t bother you.”
The man who stopped behind the boy is not unknown to you, mostly because he was the last patient who sent you a thank you gift before being discharged. You’re still being teased about it regularly, but you hoped that stupid giddy feeling you get every time would disappear as the time passed. It didn’t. And you think the fact you kept the card that came with the flowers doesn’t help with that.
It takes your brain a moment to restart, but once it does, you shake your head and flash a smile at him. “Oh, no, he didn’t. But I bet he’s gonna be a little heartbreaker based on how he runs around calling women pretty,” you tell him with a laugh.
“It’s Dad who calls you pretty all the time,” the little boy corrects you with a pout.
“I most certainly don’t do that,” Hotchner assures you with an awkward smile.
There’s a moment of silence while Jack looks up at his father with a deep frown, but then a mischievous grin appears on his face and he goes, “Sometimes he calls you gorgeous.”
With a panicked look, Hotchner covers the boy’s mouth with his hand and leans down a little. “Buddy, there are things you aren’t supposed to talk about,” he tells him quietly, but even over the terrible music in the store, you can hear every word. “I’m sorry, we should probably just go,” he notes after clearing his throat.
Laughing, you nod and offer your hand for a high-five to Jack, who welcomes it with an excited giggle. But before they could move on, you turn to look at the older man again. “By the way, how are you? Everything healed perfectly?” you ask, desperately clinging to the only topic that can keep them here just a little longer.
It’s strange, and maybe a little weird, but it’s so good to see him again, and his son is also adorable, and god, you’re pathetic. Why can’t you just move on? Why did you keep that card? Why are you this stupid?
“Yeah, everything’s great, thanks to you,” Hotchner replies with a warm smile. He then hesitates, obviously trying to choose his next words carefully. “I was wondering why you didn’t come see me again. I… thought I crossed a line with those flowers.” There’s something about his tone, like he’s feeling guilty about the whole thing. Strange.
Without hesitation, you flash a bright smile at him and go, “Oh, no, they were beautiful, thank you.”
“That’s not why I mentioned it.”
“I know, it’s just–”
“Dad?” the little boy speaks up, interrupting you with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. “Can the pretty doctor have lunch with us?”
“Jack, I’m sure she’s busy.”
The little boy begins to jump up and down from excitement, tiny fingers clutching his jeans to keep his attention on himself. “Please?” he asks.
Hotchner looks at you with a questioning look, shrugging in an attempt to lighten the mood. But there’s a smile on his lips, and a softness in those brown eyes that make you want to say yes. You would be a fool to miss this opportunity. So, why would you refuse? Why wouldn’t you cancel all of your plans with your friends just to spend more time with this little family of two?
Before answering, you look down at Jack, who watches you with wide eyes. “Are you sure about this?” you ask kindly, to which he responds with an enthusiastic nod.
You then glance over at his father, looking for that final confirmation that he wants this too, not only because of his son, but because of you. Maybe it’s stupid, but deep down you hope those flowers and smiles back in the hospital actually meant something. Soon enough, he nods and mouths please in an attempt to convince you.
“Alright, you convinced me,” you reply with a wide smile.
The boy jumps around as he celebrates, while his father steps closer to you, a hand landing on your waist while he leans so close to you that you can feel his breath on your ear. “Thank you, this makes him really happy. And I’m also really happy, just saying.” When you turn your head to look at him, he’s smiling at you in a way that makes you want to kiss him, but you barely know the guy, it wouldn’t be right. “Oh, and we will have to go on a proper date later. Just you and me, doing adult things.”
“Dad!”
Before you could say anything, he moves away and ruffles his son’s hair. “We’re coming,” he says with a laugh.
Well, that escalated quickly.
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Timmie's, Elves & Trolls; Oh My!
Christmas Eve (or Christmas Day for my friends on the other side of the date line) on the Lukola front has fallen a wee bit flat, hasn't it?
For me it started off learning that the trolls were on the march! Several bloggers here on Tumblr posted about the invasion, and I heard that DeuxMoi reared it's head to wind everyone up. Friends...
...when ever possible, be an Elf because Trolls are ugly! (Please praise me for not using an Elf on the shelf image. Personally, I find them terrifying! The two I chose reminded me in a cutsie way of Luke [in green] and Nicola [with brown hair - don't come at me!] in red because she's gorgeous in red. And yes I admit that this Troll figurine is kinda cute in it's "ugliness"... but you get the point!).
Let's do our best to ignore the Trolls (delete and block if possible because who needs that shit!) and then be demure like Elves! I know it's not always easy being kind. I've certainly found it challenging at times. But it feels better, I promise. And it looks better on your & our (Lukola) CV!!
We also got a year-end photo dump from Jake showcasing all his friends. Friends. I'll say that word a third time if you need me too. Truth is I use it a bit like a mantra in my head. Yes, like many of you my brain screamed. Not so much because Jake was posting photos of his friends (mantra, mantra), but because it would embolden those fuckin' Trolls. I'm sick of Trolls.
So what did I do? I ordered a breakfast sandwich and savoury pastry (that swirls like a cinnamon bun [see what I did there?]) from Tim Hortons! What better way to squelch a brain scream then by filling the stomach with deliciousness! Proof:
And what's a great paring with my "friends" mantra and Timmie's goodness? A tweet from Meg @megismyname of course:
It's Christmas Eve and now that I've eaten my breakfast sandwich and written a wee post for you all to salivate over... or run screaming at the sight of an ugly/cute Troll with Elves... I plan on getting on with my day, preparing for guests tomorrow for Christmas Dinner. Lots to do and joy to be had, because Jake's post of his friends - even if that post includes his friend Nicola - does not dictate the course of my life.
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Talented Fingers: J.Y
SMUT | 18+ | MDNI
I very much over use “fingers” in this because my brain started to malfunction
->Starring: Rockstar!YunhoXafab!Reader
->Genre: Smut
->Cw: Explicit language, fingering
Masterlist | Ateez Masterlist | Rock Never Dies Masterlist
You love your boyfriend's hands and he knew all too well. You love his long fingers and the way his veins pop when he's playing. He could feel your eyes on him, even from the crowd, even when he was lost in each note. Your eyes burn with passion as you watch his fingers dance along the keys and you cannot wait until you can get him alone. You weave your way through the many moving bodies backstage, eager to get your hands on your lover. Not looking where you were going you bump into someone's hard chest "Oh! Sorry San." He waves you off with a smile turning to talk away before you stop him "Wait. Have you seen Yunho? I can't find him anywhere" "I saw him walking down the hallway over there" San points. You thank him before quickly walking off.
You walk down the hallways calling out for your boyfriend. You don't notice the door that opens ever so slightly and the hand that reaches out. A yelp leaves your lips as you're dragged into a small dark closet "Yunho what the fuck" You say hitting his chest lightly trying to get your heart rate down "Sorry. I didn't want anyone to know we're here" He whispers his hands caressing your arm. Your eyes start adjusting to the darkness and you see his tall form right in front of you "Was a really good show tonight. You were really something out there" you praise, your hand sliding down his chest "Oh yeah?" His hands slide from your arms to your hips, giving them a little squeeze "Mhm" "Interesting. You know it was pretty hard for me to focus with you eyefucking me the whole show" You hold back a laugh "Well I'm sorry that I was imaging the way your fingers would feel inside of me instead of on those keys." He’s quiet for a moment before pushing you against the door and kissing you needingly.
His lips move feverishly against yours and his fingers brush over your clothed heat, the thin lacy fabric doing nothing to hid the wetness. You moan against his lips when his fingertips drag against your sensitive nub "Sh. Don't wanna get caught" he pushes your panties to the side sliding through your slick. You let out a little gasp when you feel one of his long digist slide into your welcoming hole. "More. Please Yunho more." He loves to hear you beg, so desperate for him and who is he to deprive you. He adds another finger and you whine at the stretch “Taking my fingers so well” he mumbles against your lips. His fingers slid in and out with ease and the lewd sounds that filled the small closet had his pants grown painfully tight. Your head is fuzzy only able to focus on the way his long digits feel and the was his lips move against yours, muffling any noises that come out. The pads of his fingers rub against your sweet spot over and over "That's it love, cum all over my fingers" You groan into the kiss, grabbing onto his wrist as you felt body jolts and your orgasm washes over. His fingers continue to move in and out of your clenching hole, working you through your release. Your head leans back against the door and he leaves his hand where it is “So..? Was it everything you imagined?” His tone is serious but even in the dark you can see him smiling
Taglist: @e3ellie @yoonshiiu @yunlazia @jonghoslilstar @sugakooie
@lemonkait00 @ginevrsstuff @atztrsr @honsans-atiny-24 @zaynsfl4m3s
@life-is-a-game-of-thrones @atzlordz
If you would like to be a part of the taglist please fill out this form
#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez jeong yunho#ateez yunho#yunho smut#ateez park seonghwa#yunho x you#yunho x reader#jeong yunho#jeong yunho smut#yunho
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First official post here we go… I literally can’t stop thinking abt Vi in wintertime and I just got back from ski break so I need some vi shaped winter coded brain rot 🙂↕️🫠
Vi Winter Headcanons
Please this ended up being a whole thing abt her snowboarding, oops
Pure fluff! Myb a lil suggestive at the end? But not rly
Always runs hot. Like no kidding this girl is a walking radiator and has insane body warmth/circulation everywhere. Your hands and feet on the other hand, are always criminally cold though.
So when you crawl into bed and shuffle under the covers to put your freezing feet between her legs while she’s snoozing she jumps “Jesus, cupcake! Give a girl a warning!” But she lets you warm your feet there anyways.
And when it’s cold out and you forget your gloves she always takes your hands and puts them in HER OWN jacket pockets while holding them.
Or she takes them together and blows on them, but it always ends up with her giving you a million kisses and peppering your face after kissing your hands.
Usually followed by a “Vi! Stahp that tickles” and her response is just to kiss you on the lips so firm and press your hips to hers so tight that you swear you go dizzy and see stars. “How’s that? Still ticklish?” She says with a smirk.
Definitely snowboards. Has a really baggy snow suit and a really cute board with Jinx’s graffiti paint that she carved your name into ages ago.
Her snowboard is pink like her hair and it’s all scratched and covered in stickers.
Shreds the slopes boarding and winks at you with that shit eating grin every time she passes you or overtakes you in the snow. But always waits for you at the bottom of the slope before getting on the same ski lift with you.
Begs you to go to the snow park to watch her do tricks on her snowboard even though you ski and can barely land the basic snow jumps. But she won’t stop “Babe please! Pretty please… I promise I won’t be long, just come watch me pleaseeeee” and she’s giving you puppy eyes and blinking at you a million times a second and grinning and you just can’t say no.
So there you are sitting on the edge of a snow park rail, your skis in the snow next to you cause you gave up after the second round and Vi’s just flipping and boarding all over the place enjoying herself so much. It makes you happy to see her so carefree like this.
She’s looking over at you and showing off and of course just as you’re looking at her on the big snow jump she eats it and completely crashes into the snow, landing flat on her face, barely catching herself on her hands in time. She looks over with a sheepish grin, hoping you didn’t see but it’s too late. You’re bent over laughing hysterically and trying to make your way over to her.
You approach her still giggling and she tries to fake being really hurt so you’ll take care of her “ow… uh fuck… ouch. Ughhh I think I broke my nose… ow” and she’s looking up to see you start panicking and your face goes serious immediately.
You’re at her side in a second, taking your gloves off in a hurry, cupping her face, turning her by the jaw to check for injury, worried out of your mind “where?!? Vi, are you ok honey?!? Let me see! Stop moving!”
And then you see her eyes twinkle mischievously, and a slow grin on her face. “Vi! Are you serious right now!?!” U give her a soft punch in the shoulder and shove her. “I thought something really happened! You always-“
She cuts you off with a kiss “I just needed you to kiss it better” you just look at her dazed. She gives you her signature smirk “see, all better now” and she’s giving you another peck on the cheek before she’s off down the slope on her snowboard again.
You sit in the snow stunned thinking of ways to get back at her.
You decide to have some fun of your own and calmly go back to your skis, sitting back on the rail. You start making snowballs and stashing them next to you on the rail.
When Vi shows up in front of you on the snow park jumps again you’d start shooting at her.
Your aim is worse than you’d like, but out of all 15 snowballs you made and attempted to hit her with, you’ve hit her at least 6 times.
When the first snowball hits her she doesn’t quite register it, too busy focusing on the latest snowboard trick she’s trying to ace, but then there’s the next and the next and soon she’s realizing what’s happening mid snow jump.
She’s flipping in the air doing a trick and you land a snowball right at her head.
She brushes it all off in the moment but you can see her eyes change and you’re just giggling to yourself having the time of her life.
She deserves a little harmless snowballing after showing off and eating it just to make fun of you for worrying earlier.
Vi doesn’t think so though. As soon as she’s back up the slope she’s winding down the snow straight towards you.
You smile a shy smile as she breaks right in front of you pausing to quickly unbuckle her feet from the snowboard. Your smile is gone in an instant and the air pushed out of your lungs as Vi tackles you into the snow.
She’s on top of you holding your gloved hands in the snow giving you THE face with the raised eyebrow and you can’t help but notice how hot you suddenly feel even though you’re lying in freezing snow. “Really angel? You thought a snowball fight was your best option?” She quirks a brow at you, smirking, a hint of teasing in her voice.
“Well it got your attention didn’t it?” You counter.
Vi rolls her eyes and kisses you before lifting you out of the snow and standing up in one fell sweep.
She’s carrying you through the snow toward the hut you’re renting on the edge of the ski resort. “Vi! Wait!! What about all the gear?!? My skis, your snowboard!!!”
“I’ll just have to text Ekko or Jinx to pick them up on their way back from the slope, I have other business to attend to.” She’s looking down at you still half covered in snow in her arms as she carries you bridal style.
“Oh yeah? Like wha-“ you don’t even get to finish and she’s tossing you into the deep untouched snow right by your hut.
#arcane vi x reader#vi arcane#vi brain rot#arcane#violet arcane#headcanon#vi headcanons#arcane headcanon#winter headcanons#y did this end up being a whole mini fic abt her snowboarding#haunted by dreams tf
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Okay so hehehehe, it’s time to announce the winners.
I wanna say it was REALLY hard to pick the winners because all the entries were so good in different ways, all stood out to me and were done beautifully and I appreciate the effort so much, thank you 🤍
I am sorry it took so damn long to announce the winners but I’m too soft sometimes and wanted to wait for everyone to be done lol
Anyway I really want everyone to be a good sport about who did and didn’t win, please be nice to those who did win!
THE WINNERS ARE:
@certifiedperkaholic (first one)
@schtubawl (second one)
__
Both of your lovely arts just POPPED and it’s hard to explain why but I think both just feel like Rich and his personality radiates off both of them. I love the accurate details, the art style (oh you know how I love aesthetic art styles) the colours and all are accurate. I love the backgrounds on both, they’re AMAZING. THE MIRROS TOO LIKE AAAAUUUUGHHHH YAS SLAY
Sometimes art just hits the right place in my soul and brain and they both did!
So for the prizes here’s what I said:
I DID add that you could have my social media, but thats up to you. I already talk to @schtubawl on discord. I changed that being the prize because I don’t wanna seem like my friendship is inaccessible to anyone lol
Do message me though if you’d like my discord or something else ^^
For the free commissions, you both get those of course. We can discuss it more is messages after Christmas is over! Ill let you know when I’m free! I’m waiting to get a new iPad and pencil too, so if you give me extra time to get those too then that would be perfect. ProCreate has been so slow lately because my old ipad is shit lmfao and the nib keeps falling off my pen hahaha
For now I will link you to that crazy Rich quotes lol
In the meantime if you haven’t already, maybe think about what you’d like to commission me! One character, full body, some kind of full body coloured visual reference is required because Im unable to draw based on a description. If you want a portrait then let me know! We can talk about it more later :3
ANYWAY GOD SO MUCH TYPING BUT THANKS EVERYONE FOR JOINING AND HAVE FUN AT CHRISTMAS 🎄
#ukrieger-official#artist#artists on tumblr#artwork#ultimis richtofen#edward richtofen#call of duty#cod bo3#cod bo2#fanart#richtofen art contest#richardson richtofen
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♡Confess I loved you from the start♡
A/N: After pure procrastination, I finally wrote something. Now I have to get to the other members smh😭😭 idk I'll probably do Sunoo next. Also should I have a tag list? If so, tell me if you wanna be added!! Happy reading<33
Warnings: swearing lmao
Fluff☁⭐
Jake x Fem!Reader
If you see a mistake, no you didn't 🙂
ENHYPEN's Playlist
✧─── ・ 。゚★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧
You loved Jake. More than you'd ever like to admit
Having known each other for so long, he was always your happy place. Almost everyone at uni believed your souls were bounded together. And others assumed you must be partners, right? Considering how Jake himself drapes his arms around you ever so casually or often gives you forehead kisses. You wouldn't call them wrong.This has been a thing for years. Although, it's only now you question why seeing his face makes your heart rate spike.
Jake rambles on about something that happened the previous day. You took a sip of your drink, slouching into the booth of your favorite little diner. You and Jake would always come here throughout high school. It was practically a second home. Most of the staff knew you both quite well too. The 80s inspired diner brought nothing but delicious meals and heartwarming memories. You couldn't really come here much due to university. So all these little moments meant the world.
"I need to ask you something" His words change the conversation completely. Now, you're actually paying attention. Not just admiring his face while his words only translated into 'blah blah blah's. "Something?" Your eyebrows raise. Jake's fingers tap against the table, his lips pressing together in thought. His mouth opened to speak but not a word came out.
"Take your time" You say. Your heart raced and a million thoughts jumped into your brain. Could he be confessing? Could he actually like me? Shit, is this even happening? You took another sip of your drink, trying to disguise your smile. Jake caught your gaze and sighed. "I-I want to ask Lexie to be my girlfriend" Jake blurts out.
"What? " your voice cracks
"Lexie. I want to ask her out" he repeats
You held back any sound that might indicate you're fucking hurt. Sure, you knew Jake liked Lexie. He's liked her ever since the first year of university. She's apart of the friend group and she's an absolute sweet heart. She has this natural beauty to her. Lexie is a close friend of yours but you still envy that she stole Jake's attention so easily.
"I know this is sudden" Jake said "But I really need your advice. Please? " He intertwined his fingers with yours and pouts. You don't say anything. You don't know what to say. The fact that he came to you for advice warmed your crushed heart. You tell him everything you believe Lexie would appreciate. You give him things to say or think about. You say this all with an aching soul. You wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with you
And just before you both leave the diner and go your seperate ways, Jake hugs you. He pulls you into the warmest hug you've ever felt. With joy, you hug him back. "You're the best, y/n" Jake pulls away, keeping his eyes on yours. "Thanks for always being so supportive"
You might be crazy but the way his eyes softened. His smile making an appearance more than usual. That pink dusted across his face─that you might as well be imagining. Delusional feelings only prompt you to think he feels exactly what you feel. Although, it can't be the case. Jake often talks about Lexie like she's the only girl on planet earth. You really can't let irrational thoughts take over like this. "No problem, Jake. I'm always happy to help" You respond, forcing a grin
♡
Your dorm room is a load of silence. Not even the sound of a bug could be heard. You lay on the sofa while looking up at the ceiling. Every thought seemed to be about Jake. You desperately tried to think of anything else. Food, laundry or cats? No point though as your heart continues to drag back to that special friend who would always stay a friend.
You couldn't just sit here and feel bad for yourself. You had to let Jake know. It's a secret you've been hiding for him. You both promised not to keep secrets like this. Especially for so long. It only felt right to go tell him. Let him know you're so in love with him it hurts.
You jump off your couch and rush towards the door. You lock the dorm room and storm out of the dorm building. For some odd reason, you forgot it was raining outside. Light rain though. Nothing to absolutely kill you. You think about going back to get an umbrella but you're already outside anyway. You don't have a car either as Jake always drives you around. Fuck it, we dash, you thought
And upon arriving at his place, you're basically drenched. That was the least of your problems though. You knocked on Jake's door then hear rustling from inside. A few moments pass before Jake pulls the door open, staring down at you. "Y/N? What are yo-"
You push yourself inside, hurriedly cutting him off. Jake shuts the front door with an eyebrow raise. "Aww. You didn't miss me already, did you? " He teased. You give him a vulnerable look before pouring out everything. "Jake. I know you like Lexie and you both would make an amazing couple. I-I just wanted to say that I love you! But if you wanna be with- uh- Lexie, then that's fine by me-"
"Woah. Calm down" Jake chuckles, pulling you into a warm embrace, simply ignoring how wet you are from the rain.
"Lex and I weren't going to work out anyway. She's kinda already taken" you hear him sigh. You silently thank your ancestors for that. Her already being taken makes things slightly more easier. Or maybe not because you did blatantly say you love him. Love. What a strong word. "Oh. That's unfortunate"
"Yeah" Jake rests his head on top of yours
"Glad to know you love me, baby"
You slap his arm and roll your eyes. Jake pulls away with a laugh. "Your confession, not mine! " He states. You try not to laugh while giving him a stern look. "I was just saying things" You shrug. Jake intertwined his hand with yours, pulling you close again. "To be honest with you" He takes a moment to pause before continuing "I don't really like Lexie. I only forced myself to like her because of you" His confession caught you off guard. You mask your shock with a smile. "Well, you had me convinced"
"Did I? " He frowns "I must have hurt you, huh? I-I wasn't sure if you'd ever feel the same. You're my best friend and I didn't want our relationship to feel uncomfortable because of some stupid crush-"
You cut him off, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. As you pull away, you notice how red his ears are. Jake blinks for a few moments before speaking again. "Y/N? " He smiles
"Jake?" you smile back
"Can I be your boyfriend? "
"Only if you let me be your girlfriend"
"Deal" Jake wraps his arms around your waist, pressing a kiss against your forehead. It was only then he realized how drenched you were. "Let's get you out of those clothes, yeah? " He suggests. You gasp before punching his arm. "That's so forward, Sim"
Jake winced, shaking his head. "Not like that! Your clothes are wet, dumbass. Don't want you catching a cold" He removes his arms from your waist, stepping back. You then realize what he meant, letting out an awkward chuckle. "Ah, sorry"
"Pervert" He jokes, pulling you towards his room. You were about to respond but thought against it. "I love you too by the way" Jake says with an affectionate tone. "Love you more" You replied
Despite this not being how you wanted your confession with him to go, you're glad it did. Knowing that Jake has loved you from the start. He loved you just as long as you loved him. It sparked a chain of happiness. You were ready to spend all your seconds with him. Each and every one<3
«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#sim jake x reader#jake enhypen#sim jake x black reader#jake x reader#sim jake fluff#enhypen fluff#kpop x black reader#enhypen x black reader#x black reader
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Maybe something with Mousey being jealous of Hunter and Smoker for one reason or another? hehe
Day 7 - There might be a reason for that
Bonus:
#My art#Requestober#RespectAWoman#Hunter#Smoker#Mousey#Always love when my bonuses are just as if not more technically complex than the main lol#I mean I say that but it was more just tedious to move things between EPSAI2 and GIMP lol#Chibi heads bopping around and a bust-up are not as intensive! My poor hand haha ♪#So this is my first time drawing the ladies digitally huh?? Or at least this trio anyhow haha I'll draw the other two someday#Considering Mousey is my favourite of all of them and her dynamic with Charger was one of my driving loves <3#I also realized while drawing this that she (as a survivor) and Max have the same outfit so that's ♥#White button down and khakis are fairly standard I know let me live XO I love them!!!#Went with pre-infected here tho ♪ When Mousey's still focused on Smoker! Hehe yaay#She's so cute <3 Love that wonderful disaster <3 <3 And also the mains as well!!! Lol#They were actually a lot of fun to draw digitally haha ♪ Hair touching - kind of all over touching lol Hunter's just Like That#I did kinda forget about Hunter's camo pants so I leaned on my SAI textures - but I did the shines on her duct tape myself! Pleased :)#I was thinking at first of Hunter offering Smoker a soda but she pushes for Smoker to be healthy huh!#So I was thinking maybe a weird-flavoured sports drink or sugar-free lemonade or something lol#And the usual ribbing lol Mousey do you know what you're wishing for ♫#I had a moment while drafting where I was like ''Where was the one of Smoker playing Tetris?? :0''#I 100% completely totally remembered it in full colour - but no that was just my brain filling in the details lol it was a sketched comic!#Whenever I think of RespectAWoman that's just the style I see in my head so my mind's eye took it from there pft#I found it in the end ♥ Had to make reference to it! As it's one of my favourites :D
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I got bored and gave all the characters I could remember new future jobs because Hikaru deserved to be director.
Lera Volkova
Lera works as an astronaut and scientist, as well as a guest lecturer at the space program she used to attend.
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Aleksei Belsky
Alexsei works as an astronaut and scientist, as well as a guest lecturer at the space program he used to attend.
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Nowaguma Petrov
Nowaguma works as an astronaut and scientist, as well as a guest lecturer at the space program he used to attend.
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Hikaru Hasama
Hikaru works as the director of the Japanese WBBA branch and is the youngest director ever appointed in WBBA history.
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Gingka Hagane
Gingka took on his full responsiblity as Pegasus Guardian in Koma (I had to explain the matching outfit with Ryo somehow so I decided to make it a job to protect the village with one of the famous pegasus beys kept there).
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Madoka Amano
Madoka became owner of B-Pit and also works full time bey mechanic, and is the only mechanic in the world allowed to work on the legendary beys.
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Yuki Mizusawa
Yuki continued his work as astronomer and scientist.
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Motti Raja-Wan
Motti trained under Blader DJ and eventually became WBBA head DJ of Malaysia.
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Kyoya Tategami
Kyoya opened up a beyblade school in Savannah with is former teammates where he is the headmaster and a teacher, and continued some light zoologist work on the side.
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Nile Appiah
Nile became a teacher at East Savannah Beyblade Academy which he opened with his former teammates while continuing his work in the field as an egyptologist.
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Demure Diaw
Demure became a teacher at East Savannah Beyblade Academy which he opened with his former teammates while continuing his work as environmental scientist/activist.
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Benkei Hanawa
Benkei opened his own burger chain owner and continued to work at all the locations in roatation as a chef, as well as working as a teacher at East Savannah Beyblade Academy which he opened with his former teammates.
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Kenta Yumiya
Kenta became a blader for hire that primarily works for the WBBA and assists special investigators on missions a lot.
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Chris Davis
Chris continued working as blader for hire full time.
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Tsubasa Otori
Tsubasa continued to work as a special investigator for the WBBA, but eventually took on a permanent field partner for missions.
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Yu Tendo
Yu, having essentially learned everything from watching Tsubasa for years, quickly got the job of a special investigator for the WBBA and became Tsubasa's permanent field partner for missions, though he did do a few brief modeling stints as well.
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Jack Polk
Jack continued on as an artist, but eventually took on the role of coaching performers as well.
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King Ramírez
King becomes a beyblade coach at Dungeon Gym and outreach officer for beyblade through the WBBA.
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Masamune Kadoya
Masamune also became a beyblade coach at Dungeon Gym and outreach officer for beyblade through the WBBA.
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Sophie Macron
Sophie went on to be an anthropologist and archeologist specializing in the Ancient Mediterranean and is a popular guest lecturer at universities and museums globally.
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Julian Konzern
Julian took his father's role of Konzern Enterprises CEO and switched it's main focus to be on the production of clean energy.
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Nero Konzern
Nero left his family business and became a traveling beyblade coach.
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Wales Chambers
Wales also left his family's business and became a beyblade fashion designer instead.
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Klaus Müller
Klaus became a personal trainer in both bodybuilding and beyblade.
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Dashan Wang
Dashan continued to teach at Beylin Temple and was eventually promoted to the role of headmaster as well.
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Mei-Mei Jiang
Mei Mei continued to teach at Beylin Temple and was eventually promoted to the role of head financial officer as well.
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Chao-Xin Zhao
Chao Xin continued to teach at Beylin Temple and was eventually promoted to the role of head public relations officer as well, though he did do a few brief modeling stints as well.
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Chi-Yun Li
Chi Yun continued to teach at Beylin Temple and was eventually promoted to the role of assistant headmaster as well.
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Bao Goū
Bao continues his role as the leader of Beylin Fist, eventually turning it into an actual school and assuming the roles of headmaster and teacher.
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Aguma Cui
Aguma continues his role supporting Bao with Beylin Fist, eventually earning the roles of assistant headmaster and teacher when it formally becomes a school
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Toby Johnston
Toby trained under Coach Steel and eventually took on the role of head beyblade coach at Dungeon Gym from him and public relations officer role as well.
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Zeo Abyss
Zeo also trained under Coach Steel and eventually took on the role of assistant head beyblade coach at Dungeon Gym and continued to work as a volunteer paramedic as well.
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Kakeru Tategami
Kakeru decided to work at his brother's school and took on the roles of assistant headmaster and teacher at East Savannah Beyblade Academy while also occassionaly making custom beys.
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Sora Akatsuki
Sora also takes on a job as a teacher at East Savannah Beyblade Academy and continues to be a member of Koma’s Guard (it's a hidden village, they have guards).
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Ryuto
Ryuto, after getting into a fair bit of trouble for treasure hunting, becomes a teacher at East Savannah Beyblade Academy as well as a beyblade historian, though he does still treasure hunt from time to time.
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Dynamis
Dynamis continues his role as a Legendary Blader Guardian.
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Tithi
Tithi finishes up his training under Dynamis and also continues his role as a Legendary Blader Guardian.
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Teru Saotome
Teru opens his own studio for both dancers and beyblade performers where he works as the head teacher and coach.
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Damian Hart
Damian goes on to become an epidemiologist and works for the CDC, as well as becoming a medical doctor, though he rarely takes patients.
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Tetsuya Watargani
Tetsuya becomes a junior carcinologist at an aquarium, and does a fair bit of field research.
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Tobio Ooike
Tobio goes on to be a private pilot as well as a blader for hire in his free time.
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Ryuutaro Fukmai
Ryuutaro opens up his own fortune telling and meditation studio.
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Selen Garcia
Selen goes on to become the head outreach officer for WBBA Brazil branch.
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Argo Garcia
Argo opens up his own boxing gym where he is the head coach.
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Ian Garcia
Ian becomes a freelance cyber security expert that does a lot of work with both the WBBA and private organizations.
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Enzo Garcia
Enzo goes on to medical school where he became an ER nurse at the largest hospital in Brazil, eventually becoming the head nurse on staff.
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Gasur Al-Shehhi
Gasur becomes an architect specializing in biomimicry architecture.
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Karte Hanafi
Karte stays in the beyblade field and goes on to be a beyblade coach with the WBBA as well as an WBBA outreach officer.
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Zidane Nair-Saeed
Zidane goes on to become a pediatrician and does a lot of volunteer and free medical services in areas that need it.
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Sala Kekoa
Sala eventually goes on to be an beyblade historian and coach, becoming one of the most respected beyblade historians in the field.
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Hyoma Ueda
Hyoma maintains his job as Koma's Village Guide (in charge of the path in an out of Koma) as well as becoming Koma's Head Guard.
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Dan Sodo
Dan goes on to be an estate planning paralegal at a pretty major law firm.
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Reiki Sodo
Reiki also goes on to be an estate planning paralegal at the same pretty major law firm.
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Kumasuke Kumade
Kumasuke opened up a burger restaurant (that was a complete rip off of Bull Burgers) with his brothers to attempt to rival Benkei's but failed spectacularly.
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Kumata Kumade
Kumata opened up a burger restaurant (that was a complete rip off of Bull Burgers) with his brothers to attempt to rival Benkei's but failed spectacularly.
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Kumaji Kumade
Kumaji opened up a burger restaurant (that was a complete rip off of Bull Burgers) with his brothers to attempt to rival Benkei's but failed spectacularly.
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Osamu Hasegawa
Osamu goes on to become a beyblade outreach officer full time with the WBBA.
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Takashi Kikuchi
Takashi eventually decides to become a teacher at an elementary school in Metal City.
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Akira Ishii
Akira becomes a DJ through the WBBA and took Blader DJ's position as Japan's primary DJ when he eventually retired.
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Jigsaw Grimm
Jigsaw goes on to be a english and poetry professor at a well known university, as well as publishing several of his own horror short stories.
#mfb#beyblade metal saga#metal masters beyblade#beyblade metal fusion#im not listing all the characters#its literally all of them#well besides adults and villains#if you couldn't tell i have a theory on koma#its pretty chaotic but im a fan at least (says me the only one who knows it)#i gave characters last names#like majority of these are not canon#kyoya would be the teacher who deliberately messes up kids names#tsubasa and yu as a special investigator team... hear me out here tsubasa and yu as a special investigator team#i love all these ideas the same. i just used more words for some than others. i swear its not favoritism#also i love the idea of there being more beyblade schools. please let there be more beyblade schools#the women of beyblade are killing it as always. the boys are... here. you know. they exist.#but DIRECTOR HIKARU is actually PERFECTION and canon in my brain
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m. never really realized just how aro i am before
#spire rambles#like ig i kind of logically knew but it never really clicked for me that like.#romance is just not a concept that applies to me. at all. in any way.#im not even sure if i can honestly describe myself as romance repulsed because ...#even repulsion implies a level of... not connection but /understanding/ that i lack#i don't like hearing about it partly because i dont like the concept but also partly because it's...#it's this Big Thing that Everything Is About. that i simply cannot connect with or understand in any way at all#so of course i don't like shipping! of course i don't like watching people take the few things;#characters; relationships i enjoy and relate to and connect to#that /aren't about romance/ and make them romantic. and make them entirely devoid of application to me#and especially when people act like this is the most true or most compelling way to read them.#and my brain is here. saying no no please let them be like me please let me have this#and this isn't a 'shipping bad' thing this is a. 'oh. that's why it bothers me. that's why i don't like it' thing#......not sure if this warrants the vent tag#spire screams#just in case#aro tag
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had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#AND!!!!! AND!!!!!! IVE GOT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR A SOLID WEEK!!!!!!!#i guess ill know monday if i can get high that night or tuesday but like.... i want to have one now lmao#like.... the paper i signed was more worried about being drunk on the jo#and OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt show up to my folder customer service job high off my ass..... but that thc can stay in your system for awhilw#i had one last nigbt tk celebrate the interview so idk if im even in the clear to begin with#and like.... i told them my start date would ve the 20th & im out of town vefore that so the goal is like.... they go to achedule#and we have to schedule it way out so i have time to like.....not worry & get my pee clean#like.... it wouldnt matter so much if my parents werent LEAVING this E N T I R E week... like.... this is MY vacatioj too!!!!!#and i just bought it after a horrid week 😭😭😭😭😭 worked my ass of it for it in order to relax this week#like#i know i shouldnt be dependent on it and im really trying not to ve#but the anti-anxiety relaxing of it all helps so much#and im reeeeeally not the biggest fan of drinking....i pee too much 😭😭😭😭😭 ironically 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like.... at this point.... its like..... do i care about getting this job more than i care about letting my brain and body relax this week#i always put myself first & listen to my heart & soul to dictate what to do#but my mind just keeps thinking about getting that failed drug test back and going back to the job hunt#but im still IN the job hi t#*hunt#AND HERES THE THING!!!! walking around that damn office.... seeing what people were wearing.....#its professional but i know damn well theres people in there smoking weed#like.... 25 of the 50 employees i saw showed up in casual loungepants these people are not prestigious#and like.... the paper i signed.... they didnt even edit to include the company name????#it kept saying “the Company will not like you to drink on the clock and assumes you will not get behind company vechiles drunk either”#like.... tooooootally understandable i just wanna eat some edibles before im an official employee of your folder business my loves#let me have a 50mg and zone out for the night while im finally free from all these losers..... PLEASE#anyways......personal problems that my brain needs to expel so it doesnt tumble all around for the next few houes#WHILE I DOORDASH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck me#like..... i got this interview through indeed ill just keep going till i cant if it fails
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guess what everyone today is national coming out day and while i have technically already come out as a lesbian i have found a way celebrate this very important day
at 11:30pm but shut up
i am officially coming out as a supporter of bedehop
#i am both be very dramatic and not at all dramatic when i say this was harder than coming out as a lesbian#unhinged posting#i will take question for 60 seconds.#yes that is a brooklyn 99 reference#who asked? i asked dammit#weird to say that on my own post but yknow what i dont care anymore#in my defense#i was converted. against my will.#ok well techincally nobody made me continuing reading but i did NOT consent to them being in my brain#i think i left the back door unlocked#to my brain. the door to my brain.#i let my guard down for ONE fic and suddenly im here#been wanting to do this for a while#and im not kidding#the vagueposting was not even for my brain i had to do it#please support me during this very confusign period of my life#national coming out day#i found a way to turn it into a stupid joke because i'm a joke#pokemon sword and shield#pokemon swsh#shipping#finally i am free#i can like the stuff on main :3#i would tag more but honestly i dont want more people looking at me right now#this is like a half serious post in that im not kidding but also this is silly so cant be 100% srs#you do not want to know how long it took me to type this. it is embarrasing how much it took
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'im gonna sleep' he lied
#snap chats#i love making the main text Bullshit and then putting the actual post below. ive said this before but idc its my art#its like... the main text is the title and the tags is the actual article.... does that make sense#i should sleep my eyes are heavy but im being tormented by concepts i want to execute#gotta apologize for all the arasawa posting as of late but ive been enabled#tbh on the lowest of keys i did post bout them on occasion in the past but. but now it's feel-speed ahead#twt has been driving me insane so i just need to hop aboard me other boat yk what im saying... please say you do i refuse to elaborate#for the sake of the people i wont but man if you know you know#anyways. the actual meat of this text post See All That Preamble Shit is meant to deter people. it is a warning#'i am bring cringe down here do not look. wait for it to be art so it's harder to ignore'#'snap i thought you didnt like sharing things if you were gonna do something with it' ok well the delusions are strong tonight#and im too tired to do anything and ill prob be too brain dead to do anything tomorrow LET ME SPEAK#ok cringe time. i just think jo gradually accepting physical affection can be something so personal and good SUE. me.#and when i say 'gradually' it will be ten years before he accepts it and even so it'll be quietly#i think by his 20's hes beyond flinching/wincing at random contact- or at the very least he's very good at suppressing the reflex to#more so if its not something like a handshake- like just casual contact- i imagine he's more confused than anything#i had friends who were obsessed with like. hugs and holding hands and those things always had me like ???#i imagine Same Shit for him ☠️ 'this isnt a bad thing but this isnt something im familiar with What Is???? this feels weird.'#im gonna make myself throw up thinking anymore about this. i be making these hardened yakuza men sweet and sentimental#twitter really is decaying my brain....#let me be worse. cause i hope arakawa introducing that sort of physical affection rubs off on jo. no where near the same level as arakawa#but itd be SOO funny if like.. jo starts walking close enough to occasionally bump shoulders with him#i hope when arakawa starts nodding off in the car and ''''accidentally''' lays his head on his shoulder he stops tensing up#heaven forbid jo even rests his cheek against arakawa. id be ill#Let Me Clutch My Pearls For This One i hope when they hold hands jo starts to hold arakawa's a lil tighter than he used to#just very /very/ little things like that. very little things that'll still make me insane I'M DELU-LU TONIGHT SORRRYYYYY#expect more of this bullshit but. in art form in the future. whether it writing or drawing idk i just need it#i need it injected right into my veins its my weakness your honor TAKE ME AWAY i AM guilty for making the scary gangsters cute#ok im pissing off fr now bye.
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my computer wants to update so bad. which is a real shame,
#just me hi#i'll let her update as soon as this button situation gets unbearable lmfshvg#//anyway i am thinking </3#not in a 'microwaving that shiz real good' way but in a 'i'm soaking in the bog tastefully' kinda way#so for like the majority of this year and the last of the year previous i was like. In the Misty Lagoons dude#which sucked but in like a Hint Of Chicory Wood kind of way if you don't know what chicory wood is or tastes like. which i don't (didn't! i#searched and it's an herb :3 it's pretty actually i like the flowers !!) so 💥#but now that i'm out of it it's like. i may be lost kfhsvhfhdj#girl i forgor !!! where am i ! ! what's going on. wait HOW old am i#<- mostly joking but kfhshvhgs#like hm. i think i'm missing something here [camera pans and we find that a huge chunk of the wall + ceiling are missing]#//upsides on this though? oh are there Upsides !!#like 2 upsides but i'm very very pleased abt them hfksvh :33#firstly somewhere over the past year i've lost a good portion of that good ol' shame i had while in public#which is AWESOME this is SO COOL i can just ! ! ! walk around dude :000 ! ! ! !#and i don't have to be wearing a specific outfit that does this or that i just have to like. kind of like shirt i'm wearing and then not#think abt it anymore and look strangers in the eyes sometimes. this is crazy [<- goofing]#the second thing is i know more abt my discomforts. which doesn't sound like an upside but DUDE#DUDE. i recently realized it was upsetting me when people were touching too much of me and like. i can Do Stuff about it#which also sucks. the Doing Stuff about it part but i am GOING to get good at it just wait !!#if i'm upset for some inexplicable reason i can just say Hey i gotta go evil mode for a bit. ciao </3 and nobody dies it's so cool !!!#really cool stuff really cool !!!#/oh and things that aren't in that vein: i'm remembering how to skate ! ! ! ! ! let's funkin GO ! ! ! ! evil brain had me thinking i was#gonna forget Forever pfshvhgs; silly silly#i think i know what i want from this life atm which is very neato. very epic sauce and cool 👍#also broadening my interests <///3 which is Also really cool i just don' like doin it kfshvhghhs ; i'm starting to enjoy it though so Lmaoo#and christmas is coming up and i Still never know what to ask for kfshvhg ; i think i'm gonna get art supplies which is a bad strategic mov#(i use the same 3 kinds of cheap writing utensils i'm SORRY <//3) but the wrapping paperrrrr is what MAKES it honey ! ! ! 💥#speaking of i've got a cool idea for some stuff later this monthhh but i've gotta get on it aSAP or i won't have enough time kfshvhf#//AH last tag !! i must use it for my farewell !! ciaoder dude !! will likely return with art hfsvhg ; tooooooodles ~~~+ !!
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vent in tags don't mind me
#skye talks#vent#it's been a long time since i had a panic attack in the grocery store but here we are#maybe it has something to do with spending my last money on food and gas#new job tomorrow just gotta make it through#all my days are full of tasks now and i have no choice really i gotta do things i gotta maintain and yet im so tired my whole body aches#i want to sleep for twenty years and i haven't even started yet#actually i want to sob and someone to run their hands through my hair#i got home and nearly fell asleep sitting in my car and my muscles keep twitching like they'll cramp#and my feet feel like they're going to split in half#and all the lights in my space were different from how i left them and blinds were open that I didn't and somebody turned my fan off#and like wow i really can't leave my room for even a day without everything being different#and they'll just yell at me and yell me I'm being so disagreeable and difficult if i beg them once sgain to please respect my space#I'm 30 amd saving to move out but they open the door on me unannounced like I'm a child#and i nearly started sobbing in the kitchen as i tried to pack up some chopped onions in the freezer and I coulnt even do that#i begged four separate times in like ten minutes to please let me do this stop goving me other bags stop questioning what I'm putting where#i just couldn't talk i could barely hold myself together#everything in my body hurt and my chest feels like it's being stabbed and my brain is screaming at me and i just#i just needed to put the onions in the freezer and be allowed to be nonverbal and it was too much and it took everything i had#all of it to just beg and say please don't talk to me I'm so tired i just need to do this#and i got literally shrieked at the fourth time i said it#i just#i don't#oh my god i'm gonna lay here for hours and maybe cry again#AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE BIGGEST THING ON MY MIND IT WAS JUST THE PANIC AFTERMATH#somebody sedate me or something why is it all so hard#I'll deal with it but holy fucking shit
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sigh
#call me stupid the way i want to believe people at their word and then find myself disappointed when suprise!!! it was all a bunch of talk#call me stupid the way i will do it over and over and over again and then wonder why im miserable!!!#oh boy!!!#fuck#this is my fault inevitably for getting my hopes over nothing every single time#i just want to die in a hole and never talk to anyone ever again#its not like anything i say will get through to them anyways#its not like anything i say fucking matters anyways ive learned that too many times over at this point#i just dont want to try anymore#im so fucking tired of trying so hard all the time to get crumbs#and then the moment im upset about anything is about how everyone else feels about that#like fuck off please let me have something#god#im so tired of being alive and no one cares and i am expected to keep living with that#like the way my ex does more to hangout with me than anyone else currently#i run errands. i go to work. i sleep. im alone most of the time. my roommates grace my presence when they arent dealing with their own shit#i watch youtube and cook dinner with them and then i dont see them unless theyre unconcious or leaving to go to work#i dont have any friends#people dont text me#when i text people they dont even respond#i am alone with my thoughts too often and then i just get to sit here and try to stop myself from spiraling and do something stupid#im always doing something stupid#like this this is fucking stupid and pointless and fuck just shut the fuck up already#rips my my fucking brain stem out god#i cannot be in this fucking house right now with myself
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